Dopo il veglione o viceversa

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Title: Dopo il veglione o viceversa

Author: Roberto Bracco

Release Date: November 05, 2011 [EBook #37936]

Language: Italian

Character set encoding: UTF-8

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images/cover.jpg
ROBERTO BRACCO
 
TEATRO
 
VOLUME PRIMO
 
NON FARE AD ALTRI... — LUI LEI LUI —
UN'AVVENTURA DI VIAGGIO — UNA DONNA —
LE DISILLUSE — DOPO IL VEGLIONE
 
2ª EDIZIONE.
 
 
 
REMO SANDRON — Editore
 
Libraio della Real Casa
MILANO-PALERMO-NAPOLI

PROPRIETÀ LETTERARIA

I diritti di riproduzione e di traduzione sono riservati per tutti i paesi, non escluso il Regno di Svezia e quello di Norvegia.

È assolutamente proibito di rappresentare questi lavori senza il consenso scritto dell'Autore (Art. 14 del Testo Unico 17 Settembre 1882).

Published in Palermo, 10th. June Privilege of Copyright in the United States reserved under the Act approved March 3rd. 1905, by Roberto Bracco and Remo Sandron.

Off. Tip. Sandron — 126 — I — 290312.


DOPO IL VEGLIONE
 
o
 
VICEVERSA

(Scherzo comico per cafè-chantant, musicato dal Maestro Umberto Mazzone, scritto apposta per Nicola Maldagea e Amelia Faraone, eseguito per la prima volta al Salone Margherita di Napoli, nel 1893).

PERSONAGGI:

Lui e Lei.

La scena rappresenta un elegante salottino intimo con un paravento.

SCENA UNICA.

Lui e Lei entrano.

Lei è vestita da uomo. Lui, «viceversa», è vestito da donna. E tutti e due portano il domino e la maschera.

Lui si burla di Lei, e Lei si burla di Lui.

Dal cappuccio di Lei scappano i riccioli della parrucca maschile; da quello di Lui scappano i riccioli della parrucca femminile.

Sicchè, Lui è convinto che Lei sia un uomo: Lei è convinta che Lui sia una donna.

Lei si avanza conducendo Lui, graziosamente, per mano.

Lei
 
(imitando una voce maschile)
Siam giunti, mascherina....
Vi prego, favorite:
la casa è un po' piccina:
è casa da garçon.
Non è degna di voi,
lo so, ma compatite....
chè, in fin dei conti, poi,
in due ci si sta ben.
Lui
 
(imitando una voce femminile)
Perchè vi confondete?
Non sono una regina...
Tutt'altro! Mi potete
trattare sans façon.
Io faccio, lo confesso,
o un po' la ballerina
o... quel che faccio adesso:
ecco, nè più nè men.
Lei
 
(tra sè)
Mi par che se la beva:
mi tratta da merlotto!
Non sa qual figlia... d'Eva
le si nasconde in me!
Lui
 
(tra sè)
Ch'io sia davvero donna
convinto è il giovinotto.
Non sa sotto la gonna
che pezzo d'uomo c'è.
Lui e Lei
 
(insieme — ognuno per conto suo)
Oh! Sesso, mio nemico!
Perchè non sei diverso?
Dice quel motto antico:
«ciò che si lascia è perso.»

(Poi Lei, accennando a Lui, e Lui, accennando a Lei:)

E che farà
quando per forza
comparirà
da questa scorza
l'imprevedibile
che dentro sta?
Si morderà
le dieci dita
e imparerà
che nella vita
rompe le scatole
la realtà.
Lei
Toglietevi la maschera,
scopritevi il visino.
Dagli occhi l'indovino:
dev'essere divino!
Lui
Datemi il buon esempio,
gentil giovanottino.
È troppo sibillino
cotesto mascherino.
Lei
 
(con seduzione)
Almen fate ch'io guardi
un sol piedino vostro.
Lui
 
(con timidità pudica)
No, no, no, no!... Più tardi....
Più tardi ve lo mostro.
Lei
Avete, tale e quale,
l'aria d'una novizia!
Lui
Ma pure, in generale,
è sempre l'uom che inizia!
Lei
E allora, o dolce incognita,
sta ben: vi servirò.

(Voltando le spalle e preparandosi a togliersi la maschera — tra sè:)

Ho quasi quasi scrupolo
di aver tardato un po'.
Lui
Sbrigatevi! Sbrigatevi!
Lei
Frenate l'ansietà.
Lui

(fingendo un accento di ansia infrenabile)

Non posso.... Il cor mi palpita....
Lei

(buttando via il mascherino e sbottonando il domino, appare vestita da uomo, in frak e cravatta bianca: ma le forme del corpo ed il viso rivelano la perfetta muliebrità.)

Son donna: eccomi qua!
Lui
 
(tra sè)
Oh che fortuna!
(a lei)
Donna?
Lei
Ma sì! Donna! Donnissima!
Lui
 
(tra sè, tripudiante)
Non sa sotto la gonna
che pezzo d'uomo c'è!
(a lei)
Ne siete ben sicura?
Lei
O bella!... Sicurissima!
Lui
 
(fra sè:)
Graziosa è l'avventura!
(a lei, ostentando incredulità)
Donna!?...
Lei
Credete a me.
Lui
 
(tra sè:)
In questa trappola
che lei parò,
lei stessa capita,
e uscir non può.
L'ora propizia
attender vo'
ed in questi abiti
resto perciò.
Funger da femmina
non vorrei più,
ma... è triste l'epoca:
l'uomo... sta giù.
Lei
 
(tra sè:)
Si agita! Brontola!
Ci spera ancor?

(Indicando con un dito il proprio viso)

Han forse gli uomini
il mio color?...
Se dall'equivoco
non vengo fuor,
lei non rinunzia
al sogno d'or.

(accennando al frak e ai calzoni)

Queste visibili
maschie virtù,
per non più illuderla,
butterò giù.

(Corre in gran fretta dietro il paravento.)

Lui
E dite: m'è concesso
saper che fate, adesso?
Lei
 
(senza mostrarsi)
Io voglio del mio sesso
riprendere possesso.
Lui
Sì, presto, presto, presto!
Lei
Mi svesto...
Lui
 
(fa un movimento di contentezza.)
Lei
... e mi rivesto.
Lui
Se vengo, vi molesto?
Lei
 
(energicamente)
Restate lì.
Lui
 
(rassegnato)
Ci resto.

(Lui, or drizzandosi sulla punta dei piedi, ora guardando tra le connessure del paravento, ora salendo sopra una seggiola, assiste alla toletta di Lei, e si frega le mani, ammira, si entusiasma, s'inebria. Intanto, Lei, svestendosi, getta di qua dal paravento il parrucchino, il frak, il panciotto, la camicia, i calzoni, che Lui raccoglie, osserva, esamina.)

Lei
 
(comparisce in abito molto femminile)
Sono pronta, amica mia.
Lui
Santi numi, com'è bella!
Lei
E vi par che un uomo io sia?
Lui
Non è faccia d'uomo quella!
Lei

(pavoneggiandosi, con le mani nei fianchi)

Osservate il corpicino....
Lui
Oh! lo vedo ch'è un gioiello.
Lei
Osservatemi il piedino....
Lui
Oh! non è piè d'uomo, quello!
Lei
Perdonate, dunque, cara,
questo scherzo: è carnevale....
Lui

(dimenticando di dover sembrar donna)

Vi perdonerò se avara
non sarete voi con me....
Lei
Che volete? Non comprendo.
Lui
Un bacino.... Non fa male!
Lei
 
(stringendosi nelle spalle)
Ve lo do.

(per cortesia lo bacia, in fretta, sul mento.)

Lui
Io ve lo rendo.
(la bacia sulla guancia.)
Lei
Non c'è sugo....
Lui
Sì che c'è!
(e tenta di abbracciarla.)
Lei
Ma, signora! Che vi piglia?
Lui

(impappinandosi, cerca di giustificarsi)

Mi sembrate... una mia zia...
Lei
In che cosa mi somiglia?!
Lui
 
(abbracciandola forte)
Una vera simmetria!
Lei
Basta!... basta!... Non stringete....
Lui
Non la vedo da tanti anni!...
Lei
Ma, in sostanza, voi... chi siete?
Lui
 
(confuso)
Io?... Non sono... nei miei panni!...

(Corre, alla sua volta, dietro il paravento, portando seco gli abiti d'uomo che Lei indossava.)

Lei
E dite: m'è concesso
saper che fate, adesso?
Lui
Io voglio del mio sesso
riprendere possesso.
Lei
 
(meravigliata)
E che vuol dire questo?!
Lui
Mi svesto... e mi rivesto...
Lei
Se vengo, vi molesto?
Lui
 
(con entusiasmo)
Venite pur....
Lei
 
(diffidente)
No!... Resto.

(Ricomincia la mimica. Lei, come ha fatto Lui, punta dalla curiosità, cerca di vedere quel che avviene dietro il paravento; ed osserva, inquieta, la roba che Lui, svestendosi, le fa piovere addosso, cioè il domino, il mascherino, la parrucca, le imbottiture con cui aveva improvvisate le forme di donna.

Finalmente, vengono giù la gonna e la sottana. Lei, sempre più curiosa, sale sopra la seggiola, vede... e dà un grido quasi di spavento. Quindi scende precipitosamente, e, indignata, aspetta.)

Lui

(comparisce, pavoneggiandosi, vestito degli abiti maschili di Lei, che gli vanno male; e, poichè Lei ha un gesto d'ira e di sdegno, le si ginocchia ai piedi.)

Lei
Voi, dunque, siete un uomo?!
Se non uscite subito,
chiamo la polizia!
Lui
 
(umilmente)
Sì... forse sono un uomo;
ma vi prego di credere
... che non è colpa mia.

(A poco a poco, Lei s'intenerisce e gli apre le braccia.)

Lei
Sarai mio prigioniero
insino al far del giorno.
Del mondo, ch'è ciarliero,
non me ne importa un corno....
Nella prigione oscura
io ti giudicherò,
ma non aver paura:
per te clemenza avrò!
Lui
Sarò tuo prigioniero
insino al far del giorno.
Del mondo, ch'è ciarliero,
non me ne importa un corno.
Io non avrò paura,
e a te mi affiderò
in questa mia cattura,
senza dir mai di no.
Lei e Lui
 
(insieme)
Non so chi sei, che fai,
ma già ti voglio ben
e so che m'amerai....
fino a domani almen.
Tra poco, o belle o brutte,
in quella oscurità,
ci sveleremo tutte
le generalità.
Ahimè, soltanto al buio
non si nasconde niente.
Può il buio, immantinente,
scoprir... la verità.

(Qui, cala la tela, tardi ma in tempo.)

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