The Project Gutenberg eBook of Brains—but scrambled This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook. Title: Brains—but scrambled Author: Ray Humphreys Illustrator: Stockton Mulford Release date: September 29, 2026 [eBook #79685] Language: English Original publication: New York, NY: Street & Smith Corporation, 1928 Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/79685 Credits: Prepared by volunteers at BookCove (bookcove.net) *** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRAINS—BUT SCRAMBLED *** Brains—But Scrambled By Ray Humphreys Author of “One Fighting Cock,” etc. When Sheriff Joe Cook burst into his office, hot, dusty and weary, and found his deputy, “Shorty” McKay, holding the soft, delicate hands of the beautiful Señorita Dorothe and lisping to her in halting Spanish, the sheriff was not pleased, to say the least. Astounded at first at Shorty’s audacity, the sheriff’s amazement gradually gave way to anger, and eventually, when he could master his tongue, he let out a roar like a peeved bull. “Shorty, what are yuh doin’ now?” he demanded. “Studyin’ Spanish, o’ course!” explained the flushing Shorty, releasing the señorita’s little hands with evident reluctance. “I—I’m gettin’ along fine, too, boss. I—I don’t suppose yuh found no trace o’ them four stage robbers, eh?” The sheriff flung his hat on the desk and a small cloud of alkali dust floated ceilingward in a lazy spiral. The sheriff slapped the sleeves of his khaki shirt, and the señorita sneezed, and Shorty coughed. The sheriff shoved a fat black cigar into his mouth and bit the end of it off savagely—then he was ready, it seemed, to answer Shorty’s question. “No—we didn’t find no trace o’ them four stage robbers, yuh Spanish onion!” snapped the sheriff, with a withering glare at Shorty. “But neither did we set in the shade an’ exchange lovin’ words in Eyetalian or Yiddish or Chink with a gal, either! We rode all over the Smoky Creek territory—rode until our hosses liked to give out from under us—that’s what we did, ef yuh want to know!” Shorty smiled—but it was a wary, forced smile. “Jus’ as I tol’ yuh, boss,” he remarked quietly, “lookin’ fer them stage robbers in the Smoky Creek district is like lookin’ fer a haystack in a needle—er, that is, I mean——” The sheriff banged the table with a clenched fist. “Yuh don’t know what yuh mean, yuh half-baked, would-be Don Juan, settin’ here learnin’ Spanish while I’m out with a posse bakin’ in the sun!” whooped the sheriff. “It’s a good thing that young woman is here or I’d lose my temper! Lissen to me, cuckoo! I’m goin’ right out ag’in—me an’ the boys. I want yuh to go rustle me up a fresh hoss an’ about three good pack mules; git t’gether enough grub from the Diamond Hitch Grocery to last ten men three days; pack it on the mules and——” “Yes, sir!” said Shorty promptly, and a peculiar light danced in his eyes. Then he turned to the gasping Señorita Dorothe, who had sat spellbound in her chair all through the scene, and he spoke to her—in rather lame Spanish, it seemed. She leaped to her feet quickly, however, took Shorty’s offered arm, and the pair left the sheriff’s office with more haste than grace. The sheriff snorted. “Learnin’ Spanish—huh!” said the sheriff wrathfully. “He’s just gone an’ tumbled inter love with that black-eyed gal, an’ he doesn’t care ef the whole world goes to the bow-wows! Waal, let the pore sap suffer on! I kin git along without him this trip, an’ when I’m back, with them stage robbers in tow, an’ kin afford to hang around the office fer a while, I’ll break in a new deputy—ef I kin find one with enough sense to know he’s alive!” The sheriff was very angry; there was no doubt about that. He had more or less of a right to be wrathy, however. Things had gone wrong the past week in Monte Vista. Four reckless, devil-may-care bandits had waylaid the Monte Vista-Coyote Wells stage, stuck it up, and escaped with four thousand dollars consigned to the Monte Vista bank, a lot of valuable mail, and all the cash and jewelry the five passengers on the stage happened to have along. When the report of the robbery reached town, Sheriff Cook had shown more bravery than brains. The moment he heard the story he vaulted to saddle and rode down the Coyote Wells road like a mounted demon. He overtook the bandits at a bridge, but they had rifles and they held him at a distance until he had exhausted his six-gun ammunition. Then they had gone on, while the sheriff had been forced to return to town, gather up a rifle-armed posse, and lose valuable time. The bandits were not overtaken again, however. They seemed to have vanished into thin air, leaving no clues behind them. Although all roads leading out of the Smoky Creek region were soon guarded by armed men, the fleeing bandits did not appear. Then Sheriff Cook and his posse had plunged straight into the Smoky Creek bad-land country, determined to ferret out the outlaws at all costs. But that had failed. The country was cut up by arroyos, draws, deep-etched ravines, and shifting sands soon obliterated tracks. Despite hard days in the saddle the posses found nothing. The four daring bandits had dropped out of sight completely. At first Shorty had ridden with Sheriff Cook, but after the hectic excitement of the chase had cooled, Shorty remained behind in Monte Vista, while Cook led the posse. The sheriff had decided that he had better leave his deputy in charge in town to handle whatever matters might come up while he himself was in the field. The sheriff had anticipated a protest from Shorty to this plan, but Shorty was strangely agreeable. It was only a day or so later that the sheriff learned that Shorty had enrolled as a Spanish pupil with the beautiful Señorita Dorothe Battelo, who had come to Monte Vista to open a school of languages. The sheriff figured he knew, then, why Shorty had quit the bandit chase so willingly. “He’s daffy over that raven-haired woman,” said the sheriff, when he heard that Shorty was studying Spanish, but that had been merely a shrewd guess on Sheriff Cook’s part. It wasn’t until now, when he had caught Shorty in the act of squeezing the beautiful Dorothe’s hands, that the sheriff was sure his first guess had been right. The realization that Shorty had been engaged in no more strenuous pursuit than making love to the señorita while he and his posse had worn themselves thin chasing the elusive stage robbers had not particularly amused Sheriff Cook. He thumped the desk again and again now as he waited for Shorty to come back with the things he had ordered Shorty to fetch—a fresh horse, and three pack mules with packed grub enough to last ten men three days. The sheriff was impatient to be off. This time he meant to stay in the Smoky Creek field long enough to comb it all over again, camping on the trail by night. He was sure—just as every one else in Monte Vista was sure—that the bandits must still be in that district. They hadn’t gone out by any of the roads. That meant they were laying low—in the bad lands, of course. The sheriff buckled on fresh ammunition and oiled up his guns as he waited. He studied a few maps, too. But it seemed an age to him before he heard outside the thud of hoofs that might herald the approach of Shorty. The sheriff went to the door and flung it open to see a Mexican youth dismounting from a horse. Three heavily laden pack mules were there, too. “Ef the Señor Sheriff please,” said the youth, bowing, “the Señor Shorty say I should make haste to bring the hoss an’ the mules up here. He say best he could get in town.” “Whar is Shorty?” asked the sheriff abruptly. “I do know not,” said the Mexican boy, shrugging. “He go away, I guess; but I hurry here with these as he say.” “Gone off sparkin’ with the señorita, like as not!” grunted Sheriff Cook, as he flipped a quarter to the waiting Mexican youth. “All right, hombre, beat it! Danged ef I don’t make an example o’ that nincompoop Shorty soon as this business is over! He used to have a little hoss sense, but, by golly, he is sure gone loco now—an’ I reckon he’s just been crazed by Cupid hisself! Waal, I’ll straighten him out soon as I git around to it—the nitwit boob!” And if the sheriff could have laid eyes on Shorty at that moment he would have been quite sure that Shorty was bereft of his senses. The sheriff might have been surprised to see that Shorty was not strolling somewhere, arm in arm with the pretty señorita. But the sheriff would have been dumfounded, anyway. Shorty, at the moment the sheriff was cursing him for a fool, was bent low over the neck of a galloping, sweating horse. Yes, it was Shorty—but what a changed Shorty! No longer the dapper, smartly dressed young deputy. Gone now the fawn-colored Stetson that was the envy of all the cowhands in the San Luis Valley. Gone, too, the gay yellow silk shirt, with the glittering deputy’s badge upon it. Gone the fancy riding breeches and the high-heeled boots—gone even the curly straw-colored hair that was Shorty’s crowning distinction. It was a ragged, grimy Shorty that rode rapidly toward the Smoky Creek district, urging a fast pony to its top speed. Yes, the perplexed sheriff would have thought Shorty was certainly crazy had he been able to watch him on his ride. The deputy seemed to have flung all caution to the four winds. He still bent low over the running horse and he plied a quirt with nervous haste. Up grade and down, thundering across bridges, gliding around sharp turns on the alpine trails, straight into the heart of the Smoky Creek region went Shorty. He did not spare the paint pony he rode. In an hour he had put plenty of distance behind him. In two hours he was well along on his way. In three hours he had splashed across the crystal-clear Bear River and was headed into the deeper recesses of the bad lands. At the end of five hours he had slowed up, and a few minutes later he swung the weary pinto into an aspen grove and quickly dismounted. Then he unloosed the saddle girth, switched off the saddle, slipped the bridle from the pony, hid both saddle and bridle in the brush, and slapped the pinto on one hot flank. “Take yuhr time gettin’ home, boy,” he said soothingly. “You’ve sure earned a good rest; loaf—an’ it’ll be O. K. with me!” And then Shorty did a strange thing. He flopped down and rolled in the trail, just as the tired pinto might have done. When he got to his feet he was dustier and dirtier than before, if such a thing were possible. He waved jauntily at the watching pony and then he struck out alone, on foot. The pony whinnied inquisitively, but as Shorty paid no attention the horse finally went to grazing. Shorty stalked on with rapid strides. When he came out on top of the mesa, however, he began to show signs of fatigue. He started across the grassy table-land at a staggering run. He fell headlong several times, but he got up and pushed ahead. He was panting with exertion. He was perspiring. His heart was pounding against his ribs. And when he finally came up to the long adobe house that crowned the ridge where the lofty pine trees stood sentinel, he was breathless. He seemed about ready to faint when a shrill, suspicious voice hailed him from the adobe. “Hello there, señor!” Shorty threw up his tired head. An old man stood in the door of the adobe house—an old man, swarthy, but still tall and muscular. A Mexican, plainly. Shorty tried to smile as he slumped down on a log near the house. The old man came out to look at him. “You are tired, señor!” “_Si_,” said Shorty, and put his head in his hands. “Where you from, señor?” asked the inquisitive Mexican. “A great distance,” said Shorty in Spanish, and then, as he caught his breath, he began to speak rapidly in that tongue. Yes, he had come a long way, he said. His horse had given out on him down the trail. It was necessary that he have another horse quickly. The Mexican must procure him one—speedily. He would pay well for it. He must hurry on, to Grousemont—but first he must have a horse. The old Mexican listened with interest but he spoke with great caution when at length he answered Shorty’s pleadings. “How you know I live here?” he demanded softly. “I didn’t know—I stumbled upon this place,” said Shorty. “Ah, what you pay for a good horse, eh?” “Plenty—whatever yuh ask, in reason!” So at last the deal was made. A refreshed Shorty mounted a well-built sorrel. A handful of crisp bills changed hands. The old Mexican waved Shorty off, and again Shorty rode like a veritable demon. Straight across the mesa, down the far trail, through another maze of canyons and ravines, over sand dunes, and across miniature deserts, until at length he came to Grousemont, a straggling village on Bear River. Here Shorty lost no time in looking up a smart Mexican youth. He had a short conversation with the boy, and then he sauntered into the first refreshment parlor he saw. Here, as he quenched his thirst, he boasted—and shortly a self-appointed committee of citizens clustered around the horse Shorty had ridden into town. They examined it. Soon after the town marshal had lodged the protesting Shorty in jail—and had Sheriff Cook been able to look across the miles and see his deputy laughing after the iron door had clanged upon him, the sheriff would have been more convinced than ever that Shorty was indeed loco. Shorty’s sojourn in the Grousemont jail was not of long duration, however. In a comparatively short time a visitor came posthaste to the jail and was admitted to see Shorty. It was the old Mexican from up on the mesa. There was a brief conversation in Spanish, a few choice expressions—not of good will—and then the Grousemont marshal was made a party to the conference. There was more talk, more gestures, and very soon after three men rode out of Grousemont under the cover of darkness. The first was the old Mexican from the mesa, perspiring despite the fact that the evening was cool; the second was the marshal of Grousemont, who was so excited he could hardly speak; and the third man was Shorty—still dusty, still grimy, but with a satisfied grin on his boyish face. The three took the steep trails back to the Smoky Creek bad lands. It was dawn when the three riders halted in a grove of trees far to the west. The old Mexican pointed toward the edge of an arroyo. The three, abandoning their horses, crept forward. Shorty, peering over, saw four men about a smoldering fire in the ravine. One, wrapped in a blanket and holding a rifle, seemed to be awake. The others were asleep. It was the old Mexican, at a prodding from Shorty, who cupped his hands and whispered into the draw. “It is me—Juan Quijano!” “Come on down then,” said the man with the rifle. The old Mexican went down cautiously. He did as he had been instructed to do. He seized the rifle of the watcher, and at that moment two other heads appeared above the rim of the arroyo. The startled watcher saw that four six-guns were pointed at him and he relinquished his rifle silently. While he held his hands up, as ordered, Quijano, the old Mexican, went around the three sleeping men and gathered up their rifles. Then he woke them, gently enough, and they stretched their hands high as they found themselves looking into gun muzzles. Later they were bound, horses were caught up, black coffee was brewed and gulped down, and a cavalcade rode out of the arroyo and started at a lively gallop along the trail to the west. When the sun came up that morning, Sheriff Joe Cook and the nine men of his posse, partaking of breakfast along the creek bottom, saw the approaching cavalcade swinging down the trail and hastily caught up their rifles. Seven men were coming along at a brisk trot. The sheriff and his men sought refuge behind trees and big rocks and waited breathlessly for the expected battle. “Seven of ’em!” gasped the startled sheriff. “They must be a reg’lar army. It couldn’t be nobody else but the bandits. We know they ain’t no other posse out. It’s a dog-gone cinch they’ve seen us, gents—best things we kin do is to hold our fire until we see what’s comin’ off. I don’t quite git it yit, fellers!” One of the posse men sang out suddenly. “Looky, sheriff, thar’s one o’ them hombres drappin’ out o’ line! Look, he’s turnin’ back—yep, thar he goes, high-tailin’ it back up the trail! What the heck! Shall we take a crack at him, sheriff, afore he gits out o’ range, eh?” The sheriff shook his head. “No, leave him go—we kin round him up later, I reckon. He must be a coward, or else he’s goin’ fer reënforcements, ef such a thing is possible! Stand steady, fellers, they’re gettin’ close. We’re ten to six now an’ we oughta be able to——” “Say,” exclaimed another posse man excitedly, “four o’ them hombres ain’t carryin’ no rifles! Say, four o’ ’em is tied to their saddles—an’—an’ that leadin’ guy thar is—yes—that’s Shorty! By golly, sheriff, it’s Shorty—Shorty hisself!” The sheriff stepped out from behind his tree. He put up a hand to shield his eyes from the morning sun. Yes, it was Shorty—a stained, travel-worn Shorty, but Shorty just the same! And at about that moment Shorty let out a whoop that reassured the waiting posse men. There was no mistaking that voice! The posse men surged out on the trail as Shorty rode up. Shorty grinned. “Shorty, yuh’re stained like a Piute Injun!” gasped the old sheriff. “I wouldn’t ’a’ knowed yuh! An’—an’—who——” Shorty jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “This tall gent,” he said, “is Bud Stewart, marshal of Grousemont! These other four are the gents that held up the Monte Vista-Coyote Wells stage the other day. We grabbed ’em up in a arroyo a while back—nicely hidden, too—an’ now we’re headin’ inter Monte. Reckon yuh’ll come along, boss, with yuhr men?” Sheriff Cook was almost speechless. “That—that feller that got away,” he demanded, “who was he? The bird as rode back up the trail a minnit ago?” “Him?” echoed Shorty. “Oh, he was jus ’a friend o’ mine, sheriff, an’ I promised not to say who he was. Yuh see, it was like this. After the first few days yuh an’ me rode this Smoky Creek country lookin’ fer these outlaws I realized that a whole army might hide out in this country for a year without us stumblin’ on ’em in a blind search. I made up my mind to go at it another way, although I knowed yud’d stick to the old way. I found out that thar was a ol’ Mexican—a rustler o’ hosses—who lived in the Smoky Creek region an’ who knew it like a book. I figgered that ef the outlaws was hidin’ anywhar in the district he would know it. He might be furnishin’ them with a hideout an’ grub. An’ then I learned that Señorita Dorothe, in town, was a granddaughter o’ the ol’ Mex rustler. So I began to study Spanish——” Shorty looked around the circle of perplexed faces and laughed. Everyone, including the four bandits, looked mystified. “O’ course, I knew Spanish before, but I took the lessons jus’ fer a alibi to get chummy with the señorita. When I did, I let her know that I suspected her grandfather o’ bein’ a rustler in the Smoky Creek district. I knew he was too crafty to admit anything voluntarily, but I assured her I would help him instead o’ harmin’ him. In that way, I got out o’ her jus’ whar he lived, in an isolated spot. Then I stained up like a Mex, put on old clothes, an’ headed for the old Mexican’s place. I let my hoss go afore I got thar. I bought another hoss off him, the best he had, an’ one on which I could see the brand was recently altered. I blew fer Grousemont, hired a Mex kid thar to go back an’ tell the old Mex I had been arrested as a hoss thief an’ wanted him to help get me out, an’ then I started to brag so that the marshal here did pick me up as a hoss thief. I went to jail. “When the old Mex arrived he readily admitted that the hoss he had sold me was stole, as I swore I knew, an’ then he offered me money not to tell whar I got it an’ involve him. That was enough. I had him hooked, an’ I showed him my badge an’ got a promise out o’ him to lead me to the lair of the outlaws. He admitted he had been sellin’ ’em food an’ that they was layin’ low until the excitement blew over. My badge convinced the marshal here that I spoke the truth, an’ he came along to help me ketch the outlaws. Ain’t that right, marshal?” “It sure is!” agreed the marshal loudly. “An’ as a further price o’ bein’ led to the bandits I promised the old Mex he could beat it an’ not be prosecuted fer his past sins, provided he quit rustlin’,” went on Shorty. “So yuh see, boss, everythin’ is plumb rosy! I’ve got the bandits, recovered the loot, put a rustler on the straight an’ narrow path, done a pretty señorita a favor, an’ ain’t half the fool yuh figgered I was just about twenty-four hours ago!” Sheriff Cook nodded his head in agreement at that. “Shorty,” he said, “yuh sure has got brains—but they’re scrambled! Yuh make a long detour to accomplish a thing, but as long as yuh succeeds I guess I has no kick comin’. Shake, Shorty!” And the sheriff reached out a big hand. [Notes on the Text: This story appeared in _Western Story Magazine_, September 29, 1928. It is believed to be in the public domain in the United States; copyright status may differ in other countries.] *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRAINS—BUT SCRAMBLED *** Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed. Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. START: FULL LICENSE THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG™ LICENSE PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license. Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg electronic works 1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. 1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. 1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg License when you share it without charge with others. 1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States. 1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: 1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed: This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook. 1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. 1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. 1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg. 1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg License. 1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. 1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. 1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg electronic works provided that: • You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.” • You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works. • You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work. • You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works. 1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. 1.F. 1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. 1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE. 1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem. 1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. 1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. 1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg work, and (c) any Defect you cause. Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg Project Gutenberg is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life. Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org. Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws. The Foundation’s business office is located at 41 Watchung Plaza #516, Montclair NJ 07042, USA, +1 (862) 621-9288. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS. The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate. While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate. International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate. Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg electronic works Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org. This website includes information about Project Gutenberg, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.