A. W. Pinero’s Plays

Price, 50 Cents Each


THE AMAZONS

Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, five females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, not difficult. Plays a full evening.


THE CABINET MINISTER

Farce in Four Acts. Ten males, nine females. Costumes, modern society;
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening.


DANDY DICK

Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, four females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, two interiors. Plays two hours and a half.


THE GAY LORD QUEX

Comedy in Four Acts. Four males, ten females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening.


HIS HOUSE IN ORDER

Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, four females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening.


THE HOBBY HORSE

Comedy in Three Acts. Ten males, five females. Costumes, modern;
scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half.


IRIS

Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening.


LADY BOUNTIFUL

Play in Four Acts. Eight males, seven females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening.


LETTY

Drama in Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five females. Costumes,
modern; scenery complicated. Plays a full evening.


THE MAGISTRATE

Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, four females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half.


  Sent prepaid on receipt of price by

  Walter H. Baker & Company
  No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts




  Love and Tea

  A Comedy-Drama of Colonial
  Times in Two Acts

  _Written at the instance of the D. A. R._


  By
  ANNA PHILLIPS SEE
  _Author of “When Women Vote,” etc._


  NOTE

  The professional and moving picture rights in this play are
  strictly reserved and application for the right to produce it
  should be made to the author in care of the publishers.
  Amateurs may produce it without payment of royalty on
  condition that the name of the author appears on all programmes
  and advertising issued in connection with such
  performances.


  BOSTON
  WALTER H. BAKER & CO.
  1915




Love and Tea




CHARACTERS


  MISS LAVINIA BOLTWOOD, _a despotic spinster_.
  BETTY BOLTWOOD, _her niece_.
  MRS. COWLES, _a neighbor_.
  MRS. ADAMS, _a neighbor_.
  MRS. STRONG, _the village gossip_.
  MANDY, _slave of Miss Boltwood_.
  JUDGE INGRAM, _a middle-aged bachelor of mild Tory sentiments_.
  WILLIAM DICKINSON, _a fiery young Minuteman_.


SYNOPSIS

  ACT I.--Place, the living-room of a comfortable village home.
  Time, April 1775, a few days after the Battle of Lexington.
  ACT II.--Place, the same.
  Time, June 1775, not long after the battle of Bunker Hill.


THE STORY OF THE PLAY

Miss Boltwood, a despotic spinster, is persuaded to join a band of
ladies who have sworn to give up tea and all taxed articles till
the Revolutionary War is over. The tea habit is too strong for Miss
Boltwood and she drinks it secretly. Her niece, Betty, discovers this
and uses the information to compel her aunt to consent to her (Betty’s)
engagement to the young minuteman, William Dickinson.

Miss Boltwood also has a lover, the Tory, Judge Ingram, whom she has
kept dangling for years. When he joins the Patriot cause and she hears
the (false) report that he has been arrested as a spy, she champions
him and finds that she loves him; she becomes an ardent Patriot
also--all this just as he has decided that their _friendship_ is ideal!
Mandy, who is a privileged character, furnishes much fun.

[Illustration]


  COPYRIGHT, 1915, BY ANNA PHILLIPS SEE
  _As author and proprietor_

  _All rights reserved._




Love and Tea




ACT I

 SCENE.--_The living-room of_ MISS BOLTWOOD’S _home. There are doors
 to_ L. _and_ R., _a closed window near_ R., _a fireplace with fire
 near_ C. _and over it a cupboard that locks; a tea table, four
 straight chairs, a high winged chair or settle, a mirror, furnishings
 of a colonial tea table, a black cat (toy), etc._

 (MANDY _is discovered on stage. She pokes fire, looks into kettle,
 stumbles over cat by the hearth._)


MANDY. Dere’s dat cat agin! Here you, Salem, git out from under Mandy’s
feet ’fore I break my neck or yours! Black imp o’ Satan! (_The cat is
supposed to spit._) He spits! I pray you, spit not at poor old Mandy,
please, Mr. Cat! Oh, you looks a very witch cat! Good Salem! Good pussy!

(_Pets the cat._)

 _Enter_ BETTY BOLTWOOD _in afternoon dress but with an apron on_.

BETTY. Mandy, aunt bids you assist me with the porcelain against the
tea-drinking this afternoon. Fetch the linen towel and the tray.

MANDY. Yes, missy. Here dey is.

 (MANDY _gets towel and tray and she and_ BETTY _wipe the dishes and
 arrange them on the tea table_.)

BETTY (_holding up cream pitcher_). I like well this tea set, Mandy.
’Twas a most pleasing gift that aunt’s cousin fetched her from China.
She surely hath a vast love for tea. ’Tis almost a carnal weakness!

MANDY. True, missy. You’ aunt do love tea most ’stravagantly, an’ cats
too! (_Looks scornfully at_ SALEM.) A true sign she will never marry.
But Missy Boltwood am so sperity de mens am ’fraid of her, mebbe.

BETTY (_as they set the table_). Aunt is too strong-willed
and--and--managing to obey any man. Heard you not that when a girl
she was betrothed to Judge Ingram, but could not abide the thought of
marriage?

MANDY. Lawsy, Miss Betty! An’ such friends as dey is, too! De Judge am
a Tory. Is dat de reason Missy Boltwood ain’t no patriarch like mos’ of
de Hartfield ladies?

BETTY. Nay, Mandy, ’tis because aunt lived so many years in England.
She thinks there need be no quarrel between the Colonies and the
king. Could she but hear William Dickinson defend the cause of our
independence----

 (_There is the sound of a wagon driven rapidly._ MANDY _runs to the
 window dish in hand_.)

MANDY. Why, dere’s you’ William Dickinson now, a-dashin’ by in de wagon!

BETTY (_darting also to the window_). Where? I see only dust. Looked he
not up at the window, Mandy?

MANDY. No, Miss Betty. He was racin’ dose colts over de groun’!

BETTY (_pouting_). And we have not met in two long days!

MANDY (_earnestly_). Miss Betty, if you’ aunt knew how lovery you is
wid dat William Dickinson, she would prison you in you’ chamber. You
know well she can’t ’bide de Dickinsons ’count of de old quarrel ’tween
de famblies.

BETTY. True, but naught can be said against William. He is the bravest
and handsomest minuteman in the company, and----

MANDY. Sh, missy! I hears you’ aunt on de stairs.

_Enter_ MISS LAVINIA BOLTWOOD, _handsomely gowned_.

MISS B. Cease your chattering, Mandy. Fetch me the egg cakes and the
macaroons from the great cupboard.

  [_Exit_ MANDY.

BETTY. With your permission, aunt, I will go abroad to take the air.
’Tis too beauteous a day to remain within.

(_Takes off her apron._)

MISS B. Then I pray you go down to the Meadow Road and buy me some
sage cheese from Mrs. Abiel Dickinson. Should you chance to see young
William, chatter not with him. ’Tis not seemly for maidens to talk
overmuch with men.

 _Enter_ MANDY _with a plate of cakes in each hand. She stands
 listening with the plates slanted so that the cakes are in danger of
 falling off. She now grins knowingly at_ BETTY _behind_ MISS B.’S
 _back_.

BETTY (_demurely_). I will heed your counsel, aunt. ’Twill be best to
wear my new bonnet. The old one is sadly shabby.

 (_Exit_ BETTY, _who returns in a moment and puts her bonnet on before
 the mirror_.)

MISS B. Mandy, you stupid, lay down the plates and put the teapot to
warm.

MANDY (_putting teapot on the hearth_). Is you goin’ to give old Mandy
jess a leetle tea to-day, missy? I knows tea is powerful ’spensive. Why
so, missy?

MISS B. Because the Parliament taxes tea. Have you no remembrance of
the Boston Tea Party, more than a year agone, when the tea was thrown
overboard in Boston Harbor?

MANDY. Yes, missy, I recommembers, an’ lots of lady patriarchs stopped
drinkin’ tea den. Missy Abiel Dickinson she drink “Liberty Tea,” an’ I
helps her pick de raspberry leaves las’ summer----

(_Knocker sounds._)

MISS B. There is the knocker, Mandy. Do you attend the door.
(_Exit_ MANDY. _She ushers in_ MRS. STRONG, MRS. COWLES _and_ MRS.
ADAMS.) Good-afternoon, Mrs. Strong; good-afternoon, Mrs. Cowles;
good-afternoon, Mrs. Adams. I hope I see you all well.

MRS. S. I am in my usual state of good health, thank you, Miss Boltwood.

MRS. C. Save for a slight rheum, I am enjoying the blessing of health,
thank you.

MRS. A. Thank you kindly. Miss Boltwood, I am as well as can be
expected.

MISS B. Lay aside your cloaks, ladies. Mandy, assist the ladies.

(_They remove their wraps._)

MRS. S. Did I not see your niece Betty flitting through the lane as I
came by?

MISS B. It may be. I sent her on an errand to Mrs. Abiel Dickinson’s.
’Tis a safe walk to the Meadow Road.

(_She moves to the fireplace and makes the tea._)

MRS. S. (_looking meaningly at the others_). Laws-a-massy! Is she
throwing the girl at William’s head?

MRS. A. Sh! She does not know how enamored the young people are. When
she learns it--poor Betty!

MISS B. (_turning from the fireplace_). I pray you, ladies, draw up to
the table ere the tea be cold. (_They seat themselves._ MANDY _brings
the teapot and places it before_ MISS B. MANDY _looks longingly at the
tea, sniffs it, and licks her lips behind their backs. The ladies pour
the tea into their saucers and blow it noisily, crooking their little
fingers as they raise the saucers to their lips. At a sign from_ MISS
B., MANDY _exits_.) ’Tis a pity I have none of my rose conserve to give
you. I sent it all to my friends in England by the Christmas packet.

MRS. S. Your conserve is marvelous, Miss Boltwood. The receipt is a
secret, I presume.

MISS B. A family heirloom, Mrs. Strong. Pray tell me, ladies, if the
tea be sufficiently brewed. I can assure you ’tis prime Bohea and no
“Liberty Tea”!

(_She laughs a little scornfully._)

MRS. C. ’Tis of an elegant strength and ’tis an elegant tea. I feel
certain no duty was paid on it. Was it honestly smuggled, my dear Miss
Boltwood?

(_All laugh._)

MISS B. Indeed it was, and through Judge Ingram too. A poor Tory he!

MRS. A. Mayhap the good man will become a patriot in time. (_Helps
herself to a cake._)

MRS. S. We ought to scorn to use anything taxed, as the king hath used
the Colonies so unjustly! Still, ’twould be a hardship to give up the
tea.

MISS B. Well, I am neither Tory nor patriot; so I drink smuggled tea,
and shall drink it till I am under better advisement. Pray take of the
candied cherries, Mrs. Strong. May I fill your cup, Mrs. Cowles? (_The
knocker sounds._ MANDY _passes through from_ L. _to_ R. _She ushers
in_ JUDGE INGRAM, _who carries a newspaper. All rise and curtsey._)
Good-afternoon, Stephen Ingram.

JUDGE. Good-afternoon, Miss Lavinia. Pray do not let me interrupt your
tea-drinking, ladies. I but stopped in passing to leave Miss Boltwood’s
Boston _Gazette_. The news is recent--but four days old--and of great
moment. (_He opens the paper._) The Provincial Congress at Lexington is
adjourned. ’Tis said General Gage is resolved to crush the rebellion.
(_Ladies show excitement._) He has now in Boston four thousand
disciplined men. I fear me there will be war, long and bloody, before
our king is master once more.

MRS. C. Master! Never again in these colonies!

(_The ladies rise in indignation._)

MRS. S. Our minutemen will match with any British soldiers!

MRS. A. We women can assist our men, if it comes to a war against
injustice!

JUDGE (_laughing_). Ladies, ladies! Such ardent patriots, and yet
drinking tea!

MRS. A. (_firmly_). If war is coming and our men must fight, I, too,
can make some sacrifice. I will give up tea and all taxed articles.

MRS. S. And I!

MRS. C. I, too! Come, Miss Boltwood, join our league. It shall be named
from your house where ’twas born, “The Boltwood Band.” Come, now.

MISS B. Nay, I am no patriot.

ALL. Come, come; no denial.

(_They join hands and place hers in theirs._)

MRS. C. This shall be our oath: “We swear to give up tea and all taxed
articles till the war be over.” Now, in unison.

ALL (_including_ MISS B.). We swear to give up tea and all taxed
articles till the war be over.

(JUDGE _looks on amused_.)

JUDGE (_rising_). Well, ladies, now that you are all committed to
raspberry leaves and linsey-woolsey, I will go. (_There is the sound
of a galloping horse, then excited voices of men. All rise and go to
the window._) ’Tis an express. Look you, his horse is smoking! There
must be news from Boston. I will go and learn it, then report to you.
[_Exit._

MRS. A. Oh, I pray there has been no bloodshed!

MRS. S. If blood has been shed, let us hope ’twas British!

 (MANDY _rushes in from_ L., _greatly excited. She looks over the
 shoulders of the ladies at the window._)

MISS B. (_sharply_). Mandy! Get you to the kitchen!

  [_Exit_ MANDY, _at_ L.

_Enter_ JUDGE, _at_ R. _He looks very grave._

JUDGE. ’Tis as I feared. The rash minutemen have fired on the king’s
troops and war has begun. Day before yesterday there was a fight at
Lexington and Concord----

MRS. S. Tell us, man! Who was victorious?

JUDGE. The rebels stood their ground, ’tis reported, and the king’s
troops retreated, but not because of defeat----

MRS. C. Did the Regulars retreat to Boston?

JUDGE. Yes, and I fear it was a rout at the last. Owing to the
firing of the rebels from behind walls and trees, the British became
panic-stricken.

MRS. S. (_excitedly_). Hurroo for our brave men! ’Tis glorious that
they routed the trained troops!

MISS B. But why did the fighting begin out at Lexington, Stephen? ’Tis
a good ten miles from Boston.

JUDGE. General Gage was hoping to destroy the ammunition at Concord. In
some way his plan was learned, and Paul Revere, the goldsmith, rode all
night warning the countryside. When the Regulars came, the minutemen
were ready.

MRS. A. (_compassionately_). Did many men fall?

JUDGE. ’Tis reported a hundred minutemen and nearly three hundred of
the king’s troops.

MRS. S. Well, thanks for that! Each minuteman, it seems, convoyed three
Britishers with him out of existence!

MRS. A. My dear Mrs. Strong! Feel you no pity?

JUDGE (_listening_). The Hartfield minutemen are summoned to assemble
at once at Clapp’s Tavern. Methinks I hear the drums.

MRS. C. I must needs return home with the news, Miss Boltwood. I thank
you for a very elegant tea.

MISS B. As ’tis your last for the present, I am glad it pleased your
taste.

MRS. S. (_rising_). Forget not your vow, ladies. ’Tis for our hostess
to uphold the “Boltwood Band.”

MISS B. I have passed my word, and shall keep it. I never break a
promise. (_Ladies curtsey._) Farewell, ladies. (_Exeunt_ MRS. C.,
MRS. A. _and_ MRS. S.) I fear me, Stephen, troublous times are before
us, and there is a matter I would discuss with you. Should the war
prove serious I may return to England. I would Betty were well settled,
for she is over-impulsive and filled with romance. You are a Tory and
will fare well when the patriots are punished, as they doubtless will
be. Why should you not marry the child? ’Twould be a most excellent
arrangement.

JUDGE. Marry Betty! Impossible! How can you suggest such a thing? The
girl would not abide one old enough to be her father. Besides, there is
an obstacle.

MISS B. An obstacle! Pray what?

JUDGE. Yourself, Lavinia. My heart is still yours though you cruelly
condemn me to single living. I am ever hoping that you may reconsider
your decision.

MISS B. Say no more, Stephen. I thought the old flame had died for lack
of fuel. I like you well in friendship, but as I have declared, I will
not be at the bidding of any man. I will not.

JUDGE (_sadly_). As you will, Lavinia. But if you consent not to my
happiness, at least do not mar Betty’s. She and young William Dickinson
are lovers. He is a fine, upright youth. Let her marry where she will.

MISS B. (_horrified_). What? Betty philandering with William Dickinson!
The sly minx! She shall never marry any Dickinson, however “upright” he
be.

 _Enter_ MANDY _at_ L., _much excited, carrying carpet-bag and bundles_.

MANDY. Oh, missy, missy! De Britishers is comin’! I’se all ready to run!

MISS B. Hush, stupid! They will not come here.

  [_Exit_ MANDY, _running from_ L. _to_ R.

JUDGE (_moving toward door at_ R.). Good-night, Lavinia. Is there never
to be hope for me?

(_He takes her hand._)

MISS B. (_positively_). Stephen Ingram, I have declared I will never
marry, and I am not the sort to break my word. (_Listens._) List!
There are the drums. Let us go view the minutemen. [_Exeunt._

 _Enter_ MANDY _excitedly from_ L., _with bundles. She runs to window
 and looks out. Then sees tea table with remains of the tea-drinking.
 She peers about to see if the coast is clear, then drinks tea left in
 the cups and teapot, eats cakes._

MANDY. Might as well eat dis ’fore de Britishers gets it.

_Enter_ BETTY. MANDY _jumps guiltily away from the table_.

BETTY. Oh, Mandy! The minutemen are summoned. William must go. What
if he should be shot--killed! (_She covers her face with her hands.
The knocker sounds_, MANDY _answers it_, R., _and ushers in_ WILLIAM
DICKINSON. BETTY _runs to meet him_. MANDY _exits at_ L.) William!
William! I feared I should not see you before your leaving. Never did I
dream that matters would come to war. ’Tis dreadful!

(_She weeps._)

WILL. Nay, nay, Betty. ’Tis not dreadful, ’tis glorious to fight for
our independence. Your tears are unseemly. Come, look up. I have
brought you a keepsake. (_Takes a string of gold beads from his
pocket._ BETTY _smiles through her tears_.) When last I was in Boston
these confronted me in a goldsmith’s window and straightway I had a
vision of them about your fair neck. Let me see the reality.

(_He puts the beads around her neck and embraces her._)

BETTY. I thank you, William. I will ever wear them hidden thus
(_tucking them under her kerchief_) with thoughts of you when you are
far away. Would that there were no need for you to go.

WILL. But there is need, and I go gladly if I go with your promise to
wed me some time.

BETTY. But my aunt----

WILL. I know you have ever put me off because of your aunt’s disrelish
for my family. But now, dear Betty, give me this comfort as I leave. Do
you not love me?

BETTY. Indeed I love you with all my heart, William, yet I cannot
promise without aunt’s consent. She has been father and mother to me
since I was an infant child. ’Twould not be right.

WILL. (_impatiently_). You will not promise without her consent and you
forbid me to ask it as she will of a surety say “No.” Then it lies with
you to obtain it by fair means or foul.

BETTY (_firmly_). William, I will do my best to obtain it even by craft.

_Enter_ MISS B. _unobserved. She listens._

WILL. Craft would be fair enough. She cannot appreciate true affection.
A woman who has flouted one of the best men in the world and yet doth
keep him dangling! Bah! If he were not a saint he would betake himself
to another woman and be happy. Betty, I love you better than anything
in life save honor, but I will not be put off like Judge Ingram. I
swear that I will wed you e’en though a dozen frozen-hearted spinsters
barred my way.

MISS B. Highty-tighty, young man! By what right do you embrace my niece?

(_The lovers start apart._)

WILL. By the right of the great affection between her and me, madam. I
duly crave your permission to marry her.

MISS B. (_coldly_). You are a Dickinson. That permission you will never
have.

WILL. If there is naught against me save my name, I beg of you to
reconsider your decision.

MISS B. (_positively_). Nay, my mind is made up on that point.

(_Sound of drums._)

WILL. ’Tis the last call; I must go. Farewell, Betty. (_He gathers her
in his arms before_ MISS B. _can come between them_.) Miss Boltwood,
I am resolved to wed your niece with your permission or--without it!
[_Exit_.

(BETTY _runs to the window_.)

MISS B. Betty Boltwood, I am amazed that you should permit yourself
to become interested in a Dickinson! I forbid you to receive this
presumptuous young man again.

 (BETTY _begins to wave her handkerchief at the window. Her aunt
 snatches it from her hand. They both stand at the window watching the
 minutemen._)


CURTAIN




ACT II

 SCENE.--_The same. A fire is on the hearth, the cat by the fire. The
 window is open and the roses are seen climbing near the sill. It is an
 afternoon in June not long after the battle of Bunker Hill._

 (_As the curtain rises, enter_ MISS B. _She is in summer dress. She
 carries a reticule or bag. She goes to door at_ L.)


MISS B. Mandy!

MANDY (_appearing in door_). Yes, missy.

MISS B. Fetch me the parcel of old linen. We roll bandages this
afternoon for those wounded at Bunker Hill.

  [_Exit_ MANDY.

(MISS B. _sits down, takes the cat in her lap. She sighs._)

MANDY (_entering with a roll of linen in her hand_). Here’s de linen
for de poor boys in Bos’on. Dis war am dreadful. All de mens gettin’
killed and all de rest of us goin’ widout tea! Isn’t you hankerin’ for
jus’ a leetle tea, missy?

MISS B. (_looking embarrassed_). Why--why.... Oh, stop your chattering,
Mandy!

 (_The knocker sounds._ MANDY _exits and returns with a letter_.)

MANDY. De post left dis letter, missy.

 (MISS B. _opens letter, reads, looks thoughtful_. MANDY _gazes, all
 curiosity_.)

MISS B. ’Tis from Judge Ingram at Boston.

MANDY. Glory! Glory! De Judge am fighting de Britishers!

MISS B. Stupid! You know the Judge is a Tory. I sent him to Boston to
arrange my affairs in case I should return to England. He says (_taking
up the letter_) that he is attending on young Dickinson who was badly
wounded at Bunker Hill--while bearing the colors at the head of his
company. Humph! He doth not lack bravery, ’twould seem. The Judge
requests me to send word to the young man’s mother. Perchance neighbor
Kellogg’s boy would bear the message to Mrs. Dickinson. I will go and
see.

 (_Exit_ MISS B., _at_ R., _leaving letter on the table_. MANDY _exits
 at_ L.)

 _Enter_ BETTY _with knitting. Sits by the window which is open. She
 takes the cat and lifts it to the sill._

BETTY. Smell the roses, Salem. How sweet they be. You are a wise pussy;
tell me if William has the rose and the letter I sent him some days
since. The post is so tardy these days. (_Puts down cat; rises and goes
to the mirror; pulls beads from their hiding-place under her kerchief;
arranges them around her neck._) ’Tis a pity I cannot wear William’s
keepsake openly. The beads become me well.

 _Enter_ MANDY _and_ BETTY _forgets to hide the beads_. MANDY _brings
 in the teakettle and hangs it on the crane_.

MANDY. Oh, missy, missy! You’ William Dickinson am shot!

 (BETTY _screams and falls back horror-struck, then seizes_ MANDY _by
 the arm_.)

BETTY. Not killed! Tell me instantly!

MANDY. He am mortally wounded but will recover. De Judge say so in dat
letter. (_Points to letter on table._ BETTY _seizes letter and begins
to read_. MANDY _is horrified that she should read her aunt’s letter_.)
Oh, missy, missy! You’ aunt would scalp you did she catch you readin’
her letter. She mos’ awful ’ticular ’bout her letters.

BETTY (_with a cry_). This letter has been on the way ten days! William
may be dead for aught we know.

MANDY (_looking out the window_). Lawsy, here’s Missy Boltwood comin’
now. She’ll see you readin’ her letter! Guess MANDY better be in de
kitchen!

 (MANDY _runs out at_ L. BETTY _drops down behind the high chair_.)

 _Enter_ MISS B.; _takes up letter again; reads it aloud thoughtfully_.

MISS B. “The courage and patriotism of the men have so infected me that
I am convinced at last. In fact I have already forsworn my allegiance
to the king and have enlisted in the army of the patriots.” (_She
meditates; takes cat in her lap as she still holds the letter._)
Stephen Ingram, you are a fool to change opinions at your time of life.
And yet even I cannot but admire the devotion of the patriots to their
cause; the cause, too, is a just one. I am minded to embrace it instead
of being but an onlooker. (_She leans back wearily._) Hum, hum. I
feel the need of my tea. (_She goes to door at_ L. _and listens, then
to door at_ R. _She takes a key from a hiding-place and unlocks the
chimney cupboard, brings out a little teapot, caddy, cup and saucer.
She makes herself a cup of tea with the water in the kettle and drinks
the tea._ BETTY _watches her from her hiding-place, and_ MANDY _also
puts in her head and sees with amazement. Her eyes pop out. When_
MISS B. _rises to put the things away,_ MANDY _hastily withdraws and_
BETTY _hides again_.) There, Salem, I feel better for my Bohea, but
what a scandal ’twould make did the “Boltwood Band” know of my daily
deceit. But you are my only confidant, Salem, and I know I can trust
your discretion. (_She rises; takes reticule preparing to go out. Steps
toward_ L. MANDY _can be heard falling backward and exclaiming “Oh,
lawsy!”_) Mandy!

MANDY. Yes, missy.

MISS B. Come now into the garden and pick all the roses that are
overblown. To-morrow I make the rose conserve. I will show you the
blossoms I have in mind.

MANDY. Yes, Missy Boltwood.

 (_They exeunt at_ R. _As soon as they are gone_ BETTY _comes from her
 hiding-place. She takes the key and unlocks the cupboard, smells of
 the teapot and says “Tea!” Then she locks the cupboard again and is
 about to steal out at_ R. _when_ MISS B. _reënters at_ R. _She looks
 sharply at_ BETTY _and perceives the beads_.)

MISS B. Betty, where got you those beads?

BETTY (_confused and trying to conceal them_). What--what beads, aunt?

MISS B. Do not attempt deceit with me. You know well what I mean. The
gold beads about your neck; who gave you them?

BETTY (_with courage_). They are a keepsake from William Dickinson. I
pray you, aunt, be not displeased.

MISS B. (_sharply_). Give them to me. ’Tis not seemly for maidens to
receive trinkets from young men. Come, undo them.

BETTY. Nay, aunt, I will not. I promised to wear them always and I will
not take them off, e’en at your command.

MISS B. Well, then, I will take them off for you. (MISS B. _unclasps
the beads after some resistance on_ BETTY’S _part. They fall to the
floor._ BETTY _snatches them up and throws them out of the window.
She and her aunt gaze at each other defiantly._ MISS B. _goes to the
window_.) Mandy, quick, bring me the beads that Miss Betty threw from
the window just now.

MANDY (_heard from outside_). Yes, missy.

MISS B. (_angrily_). Your conduct is disgraceful, miss. Know you not
’tis wicked to disobey and flout your elders? From this moment I
forbid you to ever see or communicate with this Dickinson again. I
shall restore him the beads, and when I journey to England, you will
accompany me. Do you hear? Now go to your chamber and meditate on your
misconduct.

BETTY. Nay, aunt, I will not give William up; I love him. You may be
cruel and dangle your lover for a lifetime, but I will marry mine, and
you shall grant me your permission.

MISS B. I grant my permission! Never! I do not break my word, miss.

BETTY (_scornfully_). Ah, do you not? Who, pray, has been drinking
tea daily while pretending to deny herself? I beheld you with my own
eyes take your little teapot from the locked cupboard! ’Twould make a
pretty story did I tell it. And I warn you, if you do not grant your
permission to William and me, I will publish the secret tea-drinking.
The town shall ring with it!

_Enter_ MANDY.

MANDY. Can’t fin’ no gol’ beads, missy, nowhere.

MISS B. Stupid! Did you search under the window?

MANDY. Poor ol’ Mandy crawl all ober de groun’. No beads dere.

MISS B. (_suspiciously_). Methinks you may admire those beads. Unroll
your turban.

MANDY. ’Fore de Lawd, missy, don’ ’spicion Mandy o’ dem beads. I isn’t
got dem.

 (MISS B. _looks in_ MANDY’S _turban. She takes out strange things
 including a clay pipe. She also searches_ MANDY’S _pockets and her
 dress hem. No beads._ MISS B. _is angry_.)

MISS B. If you have thieved those beads, naught can save you from the
whipping-post, hussy. I will search the garden myself. [_Exit._

BETTY (_confidentially_). Come, Mandy. Tell me where my beads--tell me
where my beads are.

MANDY (_excitedly_). May de debbil carry me off, Miss Betty, if I ain’t
tellin’ you de trufe. I don’ know where dose beads is. But I ’vises you
to watch you’ aunt in de garden. If she finds dem----

BETTY. True. I will be there to see. [_Exit._

 (MANDY _wanders about the room in some excitement. She does a song and
 dance; anything appropriate to the period. Suddenly an idea strikes
 her. She goes to the hiding-place of the key, unlocks the cupboard,
 takes out the teapot and makes tea, drinks it with an exaggerated
 imitation of her mistress’ manner, looking about nervously all the
 time._)

MANDY. Dat am de stuff, sure. Missy drink tea, Mandy drink tea too. No
one see me ’cept dat black witch-cat! He can’t tell. (_Sound of the
knocker._) Lawsy! Some one’s at de door! (_She grabs the tea things
and slams them into the cupboard, locks it and hides the key. She then
exits at_ R. _She returns with_ MRS. S. _and_ MRS. C.) Please seat
you’selves, ladies, while I tells Missy Boltwood you is here. [_Exit
at_ R.

MRS. C. ’Tis best that friends should break her the unhappy news, not
any chance comer. Think you not so?

MRS. S. Truly. A privilege of friendship is to report the disagreeable.
I wonder how she will relish such tidings? Stephen Ingram was always a
near friend to her, though ’twould take a Solomon to tell whether she
cared aught for him.

_Enter_ MISS B.

MISS B. Good-afternoon, neighbors.

MRS. C.}
MRS. S.} (_together_). Good-afternoon, Miss Boltwood.

MRS. C. We trust we see you well and--and--of good fortitude. Mayhap
you will need it.

MRS. S. (_eagerly_). Prepare yourself for sad news; very sad news, my
dear Miss Boltwood. Judge Ingram--you are aware that he but lately
joined our army.

MISS B. I pray you go on!

MRS. C. The report has but now come that he has been discovered in
communication with the British.

MRS. S. And that he has been arrested and will be executed as a spy!

MISS B. (_incredulously_). Stephen Ingram a spy! Impossible! It is not
true.

MRS. C. His conversion to patriotism was very sudden, my dear Miss
Boltwood, and all know his Tory beliefs.

MRS. S. You have our deepest sympathy in that an old, and, mayhap, a
dear friend has proved unworthy. True, he was a kind, agreeable man,
but he was far too easily influenced, as you well know yourself.

MISS B. (_rising in indignation_). Ladies, I will not hear Stephen
Ingram traduced. I care not what reports are rife; I know the man. He
would never do aught dishonorable. He may be of a yielding disposition,
but his principles are adamant!

_Enter_ BETTY. _She looks in surprise at her aunt and guests._

MRS. S. (_maliciously_). Miss Betty, your aunt is deeply concerned over
the downfall of Judge Ingram. The whole town is buzzing with the news.
It seems the Judge joined the patriot army but to furnish information
to the British. He has been discovered and is to be executed as a spy!

 (BETTY _springs to her aunt’s side and puts her arms around her_.)

BETTY. Dear aunt, ’tis a false charge--I know it. They would not
execute an innocent man.

 (MISS B. _sinks into a chair as if about to faint_. BETTY _runs and
 gets wine_. MRS. C. _rushes to the fireplace, seizes a turkey wing and
 burns it, then holds it under_ MISS B.’S _nose. She waves aside wine
 and feathers._)

MRS. C. Burnt feathers are so reviving!

MISS B. (_recovering_). I want no wine, or _sympathy_, so called. If my
best friend is unjustly accused, I will journey to Boston and see him
righted. Methinks I have some influence on both sides of this quarrel.

(MRS. S. _and_ MRS. C. _look at one another_.)

MRS. C. (_aside_). ’Tis best to go now. Miss Boltwood, pray call on us
if we can be of any assistance.

MRS. S. (_spitefully_). Mayhap you would prefer solitude for the
recovery of your equanimity.

  [_Exeunt_ MRS. S. _and_ MRS. C.

BETTY. Pray, aunt, let us go immediately to Boston. Every minute may be
precious.

MISS B. Betty, I am deeply grateful for your belief in Judge Ingram.

 _Enter_ MANDY _with_ MRS. A. MANDY _carries a basket into which
 she has been picking the roses. She looks curiously at_ MISS B.,
 _as she observes her agitation_. MRS. A. _takes_ MISS B.’S _hand
 affectionately_.

MRS. A. My dear friend, I have just heard the news concerning Judge
Ingram. Surely there is some awful misapprehension. No one who knows
him could, for a minute, believe him a spy for the British.

MISS B. (_still holding_ MRS. A.’S _hand_). I thank you for those
words. There is some grave mistake. For fear that he may--may be
executed before others can clear him---- (_Turns to_ MANDY, _who stands
with open mouth, and speaks sharply_.) Mandy! Run to Clapp’s Tavern and
reserve two seats on the Boston coach to-night. Here, pay for them with
this guinea.

 (_Gives_ MANDY _gold from her side pocket_. MANDY _exits in haste_.)

MRS. A. Take my prayers and my good wishes with you, Miss Boltwood. If
I can be of service in any way, pray let me know. [_Exit._

MISS B. Come, Betty, let us make haste to prepare for the journey.
[_Exeunt._

 (_For a moment the stage is empty. There is the sound of a knocker. No
 one responds. The knocker sounds again. After a time_ JUDGE, _in the
 uniform of a minuteman, enters supporting_ WILL., _who has his arm in
 a sling_.)

JUDGE. There seems to be no one at home, William, but you must rest
before going on to your own house. Mayhap the ladies will return soon.

WILL. (_sinking back wearily in the great chair; he is white and
weak_). ’Twas most kind of you, sir, to bring me home. I do not think
I could have journeyed so far unaided. Yet you are needed in the army.

JUDGE. I shall return immediately. (_Enter_ MANDY _in haste_.) Ah, here
is the wench. How are your mistresses, Mandy?

 (MANDY _falls back amazed and gazes at_ JUDGE _with rolling eyes. She
 slowly backs into a corner and does not take her eyes from him._)

MANDY. Is you a ghos’, sir? I heard de ladies say you was executioned.
Please, Mr. Ghos’----

JUDGE (_laughing_). Nonsense, Mandy. I am true flesh and blood. How
fares Miss Boltwood?

WILL. How is Miss Betty?

MANDY. Dey is all well, sir. Dat is, dey is feelin’ awful bad dat you
is executioned. On dat account dey is startin’ on de coach to-night for
Bos’on, sir.

WILL. What does she mean?

JUDGE. Executed! What tale is this?

MANDY. De tale dat you is executioned as a spy, sir, for de Britishers.
Missy Boltwood she say dat am a lie, an’ she goin’ to save you, sir.

JUDGE. Bless her for her faith in me.

WILL. And does Miss Boltwood--er--er--is she still disapproving of _me_?

MANDY (_cheerfully_). Oh, yes, sir. She powerful mad when she see dem
beads on Miss Betty’s neck. And when she frowed dem out de window----

WILL. Who? Not Miss Betty?

MANDY. Oh, yes, sir. She got mad, too, an’ frowed de lovely beads out
de window. We ain’t never found dem, neider, sir.

(WILL. _looks much cast down_.)

 _Enter_ MISS B. _and_ BETTY _with bandboxes and bags. They wear
 bonnets. They stare dumbfounded at the_ JUDGE _and_ WILL.

MISS B. (_going to_ JUDGE _at_ L.). Stephen Ingram, thank God!

(_They clasp hands._)

BETTY (_flying to the side of_ WILL.). Oh, William! (_He tries to rise,
but sinks back._) Your wound, how fares it?

(_She hangs over him and_ MANDY _brings pillows_.)

JUDGE (_laughing_). Do I look like a man about to be executed, Lavinia?
Mandy has told us of the false report.

MISS B. _’Twas_ false! I knew it! But how--why----

JUDGE. Another Ingram, but not from Hartfield, was the spy. He has met
his punishment ere this, poor fellow.

BETTY. Aunt Lavinia, William craves the fresh air. May we go into the
garden?

MISS B. (_absently_). Yes, child.

  [_Exit_ WILL., _leaning on_ BETTY, _at_ R.

JUDGE. Lavinia, I could not be a traitor to the patriot cause, for I am
with it heart and soul. Your example did help to win me over.

MISS B. Mine? How so?

JUDGE. When you practiced such self-denial and gave up your tea.
(_Playfully._) I knew you were wedded to it.

MISS B. (_humbly_). Oh, Stephen, you shame me. I did not keep my vow.
I confess I have been drinking tea in secret. The habit was too strong
for me. But now your patriotism has kindled mine. I, too, adopt the
patriot cause. To it I will give myself and all I have, even my tea!
Look! I break the pot in token that I break the habit.

 (_She takes the teapot from the cupboard and is about to shatter it on
 the hearth when_ MANDY _springs forward_.)

MANDY. Oh, missy, don’ smash de little teapot! Give it to old Mandy.

 (_She holds out her hands for it._ MISS B. _puts the pot into them_.
 MANDY _clasps it to her breast_.)

MISS B. Well, take it and get you to the kitchen. You can brew naught
but “Liberty Tea” in it now.

 (MANDY _starts to go but is loath to lose any of the conversation, so
 lingers by the door at_ L.)

JUDGE. Lavinia, it rejoices me that you so heartily embrace the
glorious cause of independence. ’Tis noble----

MISS B. Say not so, Stephen. You must, in your heart, despise me for my
weakness.

JUDGE. Despise you! I could not. Come, tell me. Were you about to
journey to Boston in my behalf?

MISS B. Yes, I had so purposed. I would have wrested you from prison
and execution, if need be!

JUDGE. What a friend you are, Lavinia!

MISS B. (_looking at him tenderly_). I have but now learned your worth
to me, Stephen.

JUDGE. And I yours. Our friendship shall endure while life lasts. ’Tis
above passion.

MISS B. (_faintly_). Yes, Stephen.

JUDGE. I see now how exalted is our relation. ’Tis an ideal.

MISS B. (_downcast_). True, ’tis an ideal--but----

JUDGE (_enthusiastically_). Dear Lavinia, you have shown me how earthly
are mere love and marriage compared to this mating of our souls. Never
again will I annoy you with words of love. Such friendship is all I ask!

MISS B. (_amazed, then indignant_). Stephen, I care not for your
friendship!

JUDGE (_surprised_). What mean you, Lavinia?

MISS B. (_embarrassed, yet courageous_). I mean that I know--now--that
I--I--love you, Stephen.

JUDGE (_joyfully_). Can it be that you are willing to wed me?

(_He comes nearer and looks tenderly at her._)

MISS B. Yes, Stephen.

 (_He takes her in his arms._ MANDY _looks interested, then glad. At
 this point she exclaims._)

MANDY. Hurroo!

MISS B. (_sharply, turning about toward_ MANDY). Mandy, why are you
still here? Go into the garden and finish the rose gathering.

MANDY. Yes, missy.

 (_She takes basket and exits at_ L., _still clasping the teapot to her
 breast_.)

_Enter_ BETTY _and_ WILL. _at_ R.

JUDGE (_looking at_ BETTY _and_ WILL.). Lavinia, I pray you permit the
young people to be as happy as we are. Will you not?

MISS B. I will, at your bidding, Stephen. (_She goes toward them._)
Betty!

BETTY. Yes, aunt.

 _Enter_ MANDY _excitedly, holding up the beads. She still clasps the
 teapot._

MANDY. Here’s de gol’ beads, missy. Mandy found dem hangin’ on de
rose-bush.

(_She gives the beads to_ MISS B.)

MISS B. Good Mandy. You shall be rewarded. Here, Betty, take your
beads. I give William permission to put them about your neck with my
blessing.

BETTY (_joyfully_). Oh, thank you, aunt.

(_She gives the beads to_ WILL.)

WILL. I am deeply grateful, Aunt Lavinia.

 (_He clasps the beads about_ BETTY’S _neck and kisses her. The_ JUDGE
 _and_ MISS B. _stand hand-in-hand beaming at them_. MANDY _gazes
 joyfully also, still clasping the teapot. She turns suddenly to the
 cupboard which_ MISS B. _had left open, and seizes the tea-caddy. With
 this in one hand and the pot in the other, she cries._)

MANDY. Glory! Glory! Dey has love and I has tea!


CURTAIN




New Plays


A PAIR OF CRACKER-JACKS

A Farce-Comedy in Three Acts

_By Scott Byrnes_

Four males, four females. Costumes modern; scenery, one interior. Plays
two hours and a half. An unusually lively and amusing farce for a very
small cast, easy to produce and effective in performance. All the parts
are good and the laughs equally distributed. Produced professionally
in 1904; professional acting rights reserved. Royalty of ten dollars
($10.00) for amateur performance required by the author.

_Price, 25 cents_

CHARACTERS

  JACK CRACKER, _a hard cracker_.

  JACK CRACKER, 2D, _a firecracker_.

  JUNIUS BRUTUS BANG, _in the_
  “_profesh_.”

  COFFEE, _a colored brother_.

  MRS. JACK CRACKER, _Jack’s
  wife_.

  ESTELLE CLAYTON, _Jack 2d’s
  fiancée_.

  FLO. ATKINS, _Jack’s niece_.

  KATRINA VON HOOT, _Flo’s_
  _double_.

SYNOPSIS

ACT I.--Afternoon. Exhortations.

ACT II.--The same afternoon. Complications.

ACT III.--The same evening. Congratulations.


THE LITTLE CO-ED

A Vaudeville Sketch in One Act

_By Hamilton Coleman and Harry Osborne_

One male, who plays three parts, and one female. Costumes modern;
scenery an easy interior. Plays twenty-five minutes. A bright and
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strongly recommended.

_Price, 15 cents_


THE SAME MAN

A Comedy Sketch in One Act

_By Lida L. Coghlan_

Two female characters. Costumes modern; scenery unimportant. Plays
twenty minutes. A very clever and effective sketch for two young girls.
Can be done entirely without stage or scenery or other preparation than
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_Price, 15 cents_


THE REBELLION OF MRS. BARCLAY

A Comedy of Domestic Life

In Two Acts

_By May E. Countryman_

Three male, six female characters. Costumes modern; scenery, easy
interiors. Plays one hour and three quarters. A clever and amusing
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over this country, and Mrs. Barclay’s method of curing her particular
one will be sympathetically received. Good Irish comedy parts, male and
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_Price, 25 cents_

CHARACTERS

  MORTON BARCLAY.
  ROGER STUART, _a neighbor_.
  DENNIS O’HARA.
  ETHEL BARCLAY, _Morton’s wife_.
  RUTH CARTER, _Ethel’s sister_.
  MRS. BROWN, _Morton’s sister_.
  CORA, _her daughter_.
  ELSIE STUART, _Roger’s sister_.
  MARY ANN O’CONNOR.


PA’S NEW HOUSEKEEPER

A Farce in One Act

_By Charles S. Bird_

Three male, two female characters. Modern costumes; scenery, a simple
interior or none at all. Plays forty minutes. A roaring farce of the
“Charley’s Aunt” order, admirably suited for high-school performance.
Jack Brown, visiting his chum, is tempted by his success in college
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_Price, 15 cents_


A PRODIGAL SON

A Comedy in One Act

_By Raymond M. Robinson_

Two male, three female characters. Costumes modern; scenery, an easy
interior. Plays half an hour. A very original and amusing bit of
fooling, easy to do and sure to please. The leading character is a
tramp and full of opportunity. Well recommended.

_Price, 15 cents_




A. W. Pinero’s Plays

Price, 50 Cents Each


MID-CHANNEL

Play in Four Acts. Six males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery,
three interiors. Plays two and a half hours.


THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH

Drama in Four Acts. Eight males, five females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, all interiors. Plays a full evening.


THE PROFLIGATE

Play in Four Acts. Seven males, five females. Scenery, three interiors,
rather elaborate; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening.


THE SCHOOLMISTRESS

Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, seven females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening.


THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY

Play in Four Acts. Eight males, five females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening.


SWEET LAVENDER

Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, four females. Scene, a single
interior, costumes, modern. Plays a full evening.


THE THUNDERBOLT

Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, nine females. Scenery, three interiors;
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening.


THE TIMES

Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. Scene, a single
interior; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening.


THE WEAKER SEX

Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, eight females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening.


A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE

Comedy in Three Acts. Five males, four females. Costumes, modern;
scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening.


Sent prepaid on receipt of price by

Walter H. Baker & Company

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts




The William Warren Edition of Plays

Price, 15 Cents Each


AS YOU LIKE IT

Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four females. Costumes,
picturesque; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening.


CAMILLE

Drama in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Costumes, modern;
scenery, varied. Plays a full evening.


INGOMAR

Play in Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. Scenery varied;
costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening.


MARY STUART

Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four females, and
supernumeraries. Costumes, of the period; scenery, varied and
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THE MERCHANT OF VENICE

Comedy in Five Acts. Seventeen males, three females. Costumes,
picturesque; scenery varied. Plays a full evening.


RICHELIEU

Play in Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scenery elaborate;
costumes of the period. Plays a full evening.


THE RIVALS

Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Scenery varied; costumes
of the period. Plays a full evening.


SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER

Comedy in Five Acts. Fifteen males, four females. Scenery varied;
costumes of the period. Plays a full evening.


TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL

Comedy in Five Acts. Ten males, three females. Costumes, picturesque;
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Sent prepaid on receipt of price by

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Transcriber’s Notes

A few minor errors in punctuation and spelling were fixed.

Page 12: Ellipses were added after “Why--why” where there was just a
gap of white space in the original text.