ALAIN RENÉ LE SAGE


  THE ADVENTURES

  OF

  GIL BLAS

  OF SANTILLANE


  TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH BY TOBIAS SMOLLETT


  PRECEDED BY

  _A BIOGRAPHICAL AND CRITICAL NOTICE OF LE SAGE_

  BY GEORGE SAINTSBURY


  With Twelve Original Etchings by R. de Los Rios


  _IN THREE VOLUMES--VOL. III._



  LONDON
  J. C. NIMMO AND BAIN
  14, KING WILLIAM STREET, STRAND, W.C.
  NEW YORK: SCRIBNER, WELFORD & CO.
  1881




CONTENTS OF VOL. III.


BOOK THE EIGHTH--CONTINUED.

CHAPTER VIII.

History of Don Roger de Rada.

CHAPTER IX.

Gil Blas makes a large Fortune in a short Time, and behaves like
other wealthy Upstarts.

CHAPTER X.

The Morals of Gil Blas become at Court much as if they had never been
at all.  A Commission from the Count de Lemos, which, like most Court
Commissions, implies an Intrigue.

CHAPTER XI.

The Prince of Spain's secret Visit, and Presents to Catalina.

CHAPTER XII.

Catalina's real Condition a Worry and Alarm to Gil Blas.  His
Precautions for his own Ease and Quiet.

CHAPTER XIII.

Gil Blas goes on personating the great Man.  He hears News of his
Family; a Touch of Nature on the Occasion.  A grand Quarrel with
Fabricio.



BOOK THE NINTH.

CHAPTER I.

Scipio's Scheme of Marriage for Gil Blas.  The Match, a rich
Goldsmith's Daughter; Circumstances connected with this Speculation.

CHAPTER II.

In the Progress of political Vacancies, Gil Blas recollects that
there is such a Man in the World as Don Alphonso de Leyva, and,
renders him a Service from Motives of Vanity.

CHAPTER III.

Preparations for the Marriage of Gil Blas.  A Spoke in the Wheel of
Hymen.

CHAPTER IV.

The Treatment of Gil Blas in the Tower of Segovia.  The Cause of his
Imprisonment.

CHAPTER V.

His Reflections before he went to sleep that Night, and the Noise
that waked him.

CHAPTER VI.

History of Don Gaston de Cogollos and Donna Helena de Galisteo.

CHAPTER VII.

Scipio finds Gil Blas out in the Tower of Segovia, and brings him a
Budget of News.

CHAPTER VIII.

Scipio's first Journey to Madrid; its Object and Success.  Gil Blas
falls Sick.  The Consequence of his Illness.

CHAPTER IX.

Scipio's second Journey to Madrid.  Gil Blas is set at Liberty on
certain Conditions.  Their Departure from the Tower of Segovia, and
Conversation on their Journey.

CHAPTER X.

Their Doings at Madrid.  The Rencounter of Gil Blas in the Street,
and its Consequences.



BOOK THE TENTH.

CHAPTER I.

Gil Blas sets out for the Asturias, and passes through Valladolid,
where he goes to see his old Master, Doctor Sangrado.  By Accident be
comes across Signor Manuel Ordonnez, Governor of the Hospital.

CHAPTER II.

Gil Blas continues his Journey, and arrives in Safety at Oviedo.  The
Condition of his Family.  His Father's Death, and its Consequences.

CHAPTER III.

Gil Blas sets out for Valencia, and arrives at Idrias; Description of
his Seat; the Particulars of his Reception, and the Characters of the
Inhabitants he found there.

CHAPTER IV.

A Journey to Valencia, and a Visit to the Lords of Leyva.  The
Conversation of the Gentlemen, and Seraphina's Demeanor.

CHAPTER V.

Gil Blas goes to the Play, and sees a new Tragedy.  The Success of
the Piece.  The Public Taste at Valencia.

CHAPTER VI.

Gil Blas, walking about the Streets of Valencia, meets with a Man of
Sanctity, whose pious Face he had seen somewhere else.  What Sort of
Man this Man of Sanctity turns out to be.

CHAPTER VII.

Gil Blas returns to his Seat at Idrias.  Scipio's agreeable
Intelligence, and a Reform in the Domestic Arrangement.

CHAPTER VIII.

The Loves of Gil Blas, and the Fair Antonia.

CHAPTER IX.

Nuptials of Gil Blas with the Fair Antonia; the Style and Manner of
the Ceremony; the Persons assisting thereat; and the Festivities
ensuing thereupon.

CHAPTER X.

The Honeymoon (a very dull Time for the Reader as a third Person)
enlivened by the Commencement of Scipio's Story.

CHAPTER XI.

Continuation of Scipio's Story.

CHAPTER XII.

Conclusion of Scipio's Story.



BOOK THE ELEVENTH.

CHAPTER I.

Containing the Subject of the greatest Joy that Gil Blas ever felt,
followed up, as our greatest Pleasures too generally are, by the most
melancholy Event of his Life.  Great Changes at Court, producing,
among other important Revolutions, the Return of Santillane.

CHAPTER II.

Gil Blas arrives in Madrid, and makes his Appearance at Court; the
King is blessed with a better Memory than most of his Courtiers, and
recommends him to the Notice of his Prime Minister.  Consequences of
that Recommendation.

CHAPTER III.

The Project of Retirement is prevented, and Joseph Navarro brought
upon the Stage again, by an Act of signal Service.

CHAPTER IV.

Gil Blas ingratiates himself with the Count of Olivarez.

CHAPTER V.

The private Conversation of Gil Blas with Navarro, and his first
Employment in the Service of the Count d'Olivarez.

CHAPTER VI.

The Application of the three hundred Pistoles, and Scipio's
Commission connected with them.  Success of the State-paper mentioned
in the last Chapter.

CHAPTER VII.

Gil Blas meets with his Friend Fabricio once more; the Accident,
Place, and Circumstances described, with the Particulars of their
Conversation together.

CHAPTER VIII.

Gil Blas gets forward progressively in his Master's Affections.
Scipio's Return to Madrid, and Account of his Journey.

CHAPTER IX.

How my Lord Duke married his only Daughter, and to whom, with the
bitter Consequences of that Marriage.

CHAPTER X.

Gil Blas meets with the Poet Nunez by Accident, and learns that he
has written a Tragedy, which is on the Point of being brought out at
the Theatre Royal.  The ill Fortune of the Piece, and the good
Fortune of its Author.

CHAPTER XI.

Santillane gives Scipio a Situation; the Latter sets out for New
Spain.

CHAPTER XII.

Don Alphonso de Leyva comes to Madrid; the Motive of his Journey a
severe Affliction to Gil Blas, and a cause of Rejoicing subsequent
thereon.

CHAPTER XIII.

Gil Blas meets Don Gaston de Cogollos and Don Andrew de Tordesillas
at the Drawing-room, and Adjourns with them to a more convenient
Place.  The Story of Don Gaston and Donna Helena de Galisteo,
concluded.  Santillane renders some Service to Tordesillas.

CHAPTER XIV.

Santillane's Visit to Poet Nunez, the Company, and Conversation.



BOOK THE TWELFTH.

CHAPTER I.

Gil Blas sent to Toledo by the Minister.  The Purpose of his Journey,
and its Success.

CHAPTER II.

Santillane makes his Report to the Minister, who commissions him to
send for Lucretia.  The first Appearance of that Actress before the
Court.

CHAPTER III.

Lucretia's Popularity, her Appearance before the King, his Passion,
and its Consequences.

CHAPTER IV.

Santillane in a new Office.

CHAPTER V.

The Son of the Genoese is acknowledged by a legal Instrument, and
named Don Henry Philip de Guzman.  Santillane establishes his
Household, and arranges the Course of his Studies.

CHAPTER VI.

Scipio's Return from New Spain.  Gil Blas places him about Don
Henry's Person.  That young Nobleman's Course of Study.  His Career
of Honor, and his Father's matrimonial Speculation on his Behalf.  A
Patent of Nobility conferred on Gil Blas against his Will.

CHAPTER VII.

An accidental Meeting between Gil Blas and Fabricio.  Their last
Conversation together, and a Word to the Wise from Nunez.

CHAPTER VIII.

Gil Blas finds that Fabricio's Hint was not without Foundation.  The
King's Journey to Saragossa.

CHAPTER IX.

The Revolution of Portugal, and Disgrace of the Prime Minister.

CHAPTER X.

A difficult, but successful Weaning from the World.  The Minister's
Employment in his Retreat.

CHAPTER XI.

A Change in his Lordship for the Worse.  The marvellous Cause, and
melancholy Consequences of his Dejection.

CHAPTER XII.

The Proceedings at the Castle of Loeches after his Lordship's Death,
and the Course which Santillane adopted.

CHAPTER XIII.

The Return of Gil Blas to his Seat.  His Joy at finding his
God-daughter Seraphina marriageable, and his own second Venture in
the Lottery of Love.

CHAPTER XIV.

A Double Marriage, and the Conclusion of the History.




HISTORY OF GIL BLAS OF SANTILLANE.



BOOK THE EIGHTH.--(CONTINUED).



_CHAPTER VIII._

_HISTORY OF DON ROGER DE RADA._

Don Anastasio de Rada, a gentleman of Grenada, was living happily in
the town of Antequera, with Donna Estephania his wife, who united
every charm of person and mind with the most unquestionable virtue.
If her affection was lively towards her husband, his love for her was
violent beyond all bounds.  He was naturally prone to jealousy; and
though wantonness could never assume such a semblance as his wife's,
his thoughts were not quite at rest upon the subject.  He was
apprehensive lest some secret enemy to his repose might make some
attempt upon his honor.  His eye was turned askance upon all his
friends, except Don Huberto de Hordales, who frequented the house
without suspicion in quality of Estephania's cousin, and was the only
man in whom he ought not to have confided.

Don Huberto did actually fall in love with his cousin, and ventured
to make his sentiments known, in contempt of consanguinity and the
ties of friendship.  The lady, who was considerate, instead of making
an outcry which might have led to fatal consequences, reproved her
kinsman gently, represented to him the extreme criminality of
attempting to seduce her and dishonor her husband, and told him very
seriously that he must not flatter himself with the most distant hope.

This moderation only inflamed the seducer's appetite the more.
Taking it for granted that, as a woman who had been accustomed to
save appearances, she only wanted to be more strongly urged, he began
to adopt little freedoms of more warmth than delicacy, and had the
assurance one day to put the question home to her.  She repulsed him
with unbridled indignation, and threatened to refer the punishment of
his offence to Don Anastasio.  Her suitor, alarmed at such an
intimation, promised to drop the subject; and Estephania, in the
candor of her soul, forgave him for the past.

Don Huberto, a man totally devoid of principle, could not feel his
passion to be foiled without entertaining a mean spirit of revenge.
He knew the weak side of Don Anastasio's temper.  This was enough to
engender the blackest design that ever scoundrel plotted.  One
evening, as he was walking alone with this misguided husband, he said
with an air of extreme uneasiness, My dear friend, I can no longer
live without unburdening my mind; and yet I would be forever silent,
but that you value honor far above a treacherous repose.  Your acute
feelings and my own, on points which concern domestic injuries,
forbid me to conceal what is passing in your family.  Prepare to hear
what will occasion you as much grief as astonishment.  I am going to
wound you in the tenderest part.

I know what you mean, interrupted Don Anastasio, in the first burst
of agony; your cousin is unfaithful.  I no longer acknowledge her for
my cousin, replied Hordales with impassioned vehemence; I disown her,
as unworthy to share my friend's embraces.  This is keeping me too
long upon the rack, exclaimed Don Anastasio: say on; what has
Estephania done?  She has betrayed you, replied Don Huberto.  You
have a rival to whom she listens in private, but I cannot give you
his name; for the adulterer, under favor of impenetrable darkness,
has escaped the ken of those who watched him.  All I know is, that
you are duped: of that fact I am well assured.  My own share in the
disgrace is a sufficient pledge of my veracity.  Her infidelity must
be palpable indeed, when I turn Estephania's accuser.

It is to no purpose, continued he, watching the successful impression
of his discourse,--it is to no purpose to discuss the subject
further.  I perceive your indignation at the treacherous requital of
your love, and your thoughts all aiming at a just revenge.  Take your
own course.  Heed not in what relation to you your victim may stand;
but convince the whole city that there is no earthly being whom you
would not sacrifice to your honor.

Thus did the traitor exasperate a too credulous husband against an
innocent wife; depicting in such glowing colors the infamy in which
he would be plunged, if he left the insult unpunished, as to heighten
his anger into madness.  Behold Don Anastasio with his mind
completely overturned, as if goaded by the Furies.  He returned
homewards with the frantic design of murdering his ill-fated wife.
She was just going to bed when he came in.  He kept his passion under
for a time, and waited till the attendants had withdrawn.  Then,
unrestrained by the fear of vengeance from above, by the vulgar scorn
which must recoil upon an honorable family, by natural affection for
his unborn child, since his wife was near her time, he approached his
victim, and said to her in a furious tone of voice, Now is your hour
to die, wretch as you are!  One moment only is your own, which my
relenting pity leaves you to make your peace with heaven.  I would
not that your soul should perish eternally, though your earthly honor
is forever lost.

At these words he drew his dagger.  Estephania, just speechless with
terror, throwing herself at his feet, besought him, with uplifted
hands and inarticulate agony, to tell her why he raised his arm
against her life.  If he suspected her fidelity, she called heaven to
attest her innocence.

In vain, in vain, replied the infuriated murderer; your treason is
but too well proved.  My information is not to be contradicted: Don
Huberto...  Ah! my lord, interrupted she with eager haste, you must
hold your trust aloof from Don Huberto.  He is less your friend than
you imagine.  If he has said aught against my virtue, believe him
not.  Restrain that infamous tongue, replied Don Anastasio.  By
appealing against Hordales, you condemn yourself.  You would ruin
your relation in my esteem, because he is acquainted with your
misconduct.  You would invalidate his evidence against you; but the
artifice is palpable, and only whets my appetite for vengeance.  My
dear husband, rejoined the innocent Estephania, while her tears
flowed in torrents, beware of this blind rage.  If you follow its
instigation, you will perpetrate a deed for which you will hate
yourself, when convinced of its injustice.  In the name of heaven,
compose your disordered spirits.  At least give me time to clear up
your suspicions; you will then deal candidly by a wife who has
nothing to reproach herself with.

Any other than Don Anastasio would have been touched by her
pleadings, and still more by her agonizing affliction; but the
barbarian, far from being softened, ordered the lady once again to
recommend herself briefly to mercy, and lifted his arm to strike the
blow.  Hold, inhuman as you are! cried she.  If your love for me is
as if it had never been, if my lavish fondness in return is all
blotted from your memory, if my tears have no eloquence to disarm
your hellish purpose, have some pity on your own blood.  Launch not
your frantic hand against an innocent, who has not yet breathed this
vital air.  You cannot be its executioner without the curse of heaven
and earth.  As for myself, I can forgive my murderer; but the butcher
of his own child--think deeply of it!--must pay the dreadful forfeit
of so detestable a deed.

Determined as Don Anastasio was to pay no attention to anything
Estephania could say, he could not help being affected by the
frightful images these last words presented to his soul.  Wherefore,
as if apprehensive lest nature should play the traitress to revenge,
he hastened to make sure of his staggering resolves, and plunged his
dagger into her bosom.  She fell motionless on the ground.  He
thought her dead, and on that supposition left his house immediately,
to be no more seen at Antequera.

In the mean time, the unhappy victim of groundless suspicion was so
stunned with the blow she had received, as to remain for a short
interval on the ground without any signs of life.  Afterwards, coming
to herself, she brought an old female servant to her assistance by
her plaints and lamentations.  That good old woman, beholding her
mistress in so deplorable a state, waked the whole household, and
even the neighborhood by her cries.  The room was soon filled with
spectators.  Surgical assistance was sent for.  The wound was probed,
and pronounced not to be mortal.  Their opinion turned out to be
correct, for Estephania soon recovered, and was in due time delivered
of a son, notwithstanding the cruel circumstances in which she had
been placed.  That son, Signor Gil Blas, you behold in me; I am the
fruit of that dreadful pregnancy.

Women, when chaste as ice, when pure as snow, seldom escape calumny:
this plague, however, though virtue's dowry, did not alight upon my
mother.  The bloody scene passed, in common fame, for the transport
of a jealous husband.  My father, it is true, bore the character of a
passionate man, prone to kindle into fury on the slightest occasion.
Hordales could not but suppose that his kinswoman must suspect him of
having sown wild fancies in the mind of Don Anastasio, so that he
satisfied himself with this imperfect relish of revenge, and ceased
to importune her.  But, not to be tedious, I shall pass over the
detail of my education.  Suffice it to say, that my principal
exercise was fencing, which I practised regularly in the most famous
schools of Grenada and Seville.  My mother waited with impatience
till I was of age to measure swords with Don Huberto, that she might
instruct me in the grounds of her complaint against him.  In my
eighteenth year, she submitted her cause to my arbitrament, not
without floods of tears, and every symptom of the deepest anguish.
What must not a son feel, if he has the spirit and the heart of a
son, at the sight of a mother in such distressing circumstances?  I
went immediately and called out Hordales; our place of meeting was
private, as it should be; we fought long and furiously; three of my
thrusts took place, and I threw him to the ground, like a dead dog
despised.

Don Huberto, feeling his wound to be mortal, fixed his last looks
upon me, and declared that he met his death at my hands as a just
punishment for his treason against my mother's honor.  He owned that
in revenge for the pangs of despised love he had resolved on her
ruin.  Thus did he breathe his last, imploring pardon from heaven,
from Don Anastasio, from Estephania, and from myself.  I deemed it
imprudent to return home and acquaint my mother of the issue; fame
was sure to perform that office for me.  I passed the mountains, and
repaired to Malaga, where I embarked on board a privateer.  My
outside not altogether indicating cowardice, the captain consented at
once to enroll me among his crew.

We were not long before we went into action.  Near the island of
Alboutan, a corsair of Millila fell in with us, on his return towards
the African coast with a Spanish vessel richly laden, taken off
Carthagena.  We attacked the African briskly, and made ourselves
masters of both ships, with eighty Christians on board, going as
slaves to Barbary.  Afterwards, availing ourselves of a wind direct
for the coast of Grenada, we shortly arrived at Punta de Helena.

While we were inquiring into the birthplace and condition of our
rescued captives, a man about fifty, of prepossessing aspect, fell
under my examination.  He stated himself, with a sigh, to belong to
Antequera.  My heart palpitated, without my knowing why; and my
emotion, too strong to pass unnoticed, excited a visible sympathy in
him.  I avowed myself his townsman, and asked his family name.  Alas!
answered he, your curiosity makes my sorrow flow afresh.  Eighteen
years ago did I leave my home, where my remembrance is coupled with
scenes of blood and horror.  You must yourself have heard but too
much of my story.  My name is Don Anastasio de Rada.  Merciful heaven
I exclaimed I; may I believe my senses?  And can this be?  Don
Anastasio?  Father!  What is it you say, young man? exclaimed he, in
his turn, with surprise and agitation equal to my own.  Are you that
ill-fated infant, still in its mother's womb, when I sacrificed her
to my fury?  Yes, said I; none other did the virtuous Estephania
bring into the world, after the fatal night when you left her
weltering in her own blood.

Don Anastasio stifled my words in his embraces.  For a quarter of an
hour we could only mingle our inarticulate sighs and exclamations.
After exhausting our tender recollections, and indulging in the wild
expression of our feelings, my father lifted his eyes to heaven, in
gratitude for Estephania saved; but the next moment, as if doubtful
of his bliss, he demanded by what evidence his wife's innocence had
been cleared.  Sir, answered I, none but yourself ever doubted it.
Her conduct has been uniformly spotless.  You must be undeceived.
Know that Don Huberto was a traitor.  In proof of this I unfolded all
his perfidy, the vengeance I had taken, and his own confession before
he expired.

My father was less delighted at his liberty restored than at these
happy tidings.  In the forgetfulness of ecstasy, he repeated all his
former transports.  His approbation of me was ardent and entire.
Come, my son, said he, let us set out for Antequera.  I burn with
impatience to throw myself at the feet of a wife whom I have treated
so unworthily.  Since you have brought me acquainted with my own
injustice, my heart has been torn by remorse.

I was too eager to bring together a couple so near and dear to me,
not to expedite our journey as much as possible.  I quitted the
privateer, and with my share of prize money bought two mules at Adra,
my father not choosing again to incur the hazard of a voyage.  He
found leisure on the road to relate his adventures, which I inclined
to hear as seriously as did the Prince of Ithaca the various recitals
of the king his father.  At length, after several days, we halted at
the foot of a mountain near Antequera.  Wishing to reach home
privately, we went not into the town till midnight.

You may guess my mother's astonishment at beholding a husband whom
she had thought forever lost; and the almost miraculous circumstances
of his restoration were a second source of wonder.  He entreated
forgiveness for his barbarity with marks of repentance so lively,
that she could not but be moved.  Instead of looking on him as a
murderer, she only saw the man to whose will high heaven had
subjected her; such religion is there in the name of husband to a
virtuous wife!  Estephania had been so alarmed about me, that my
return filled her with rapture.  But her joy on this account was not
without alleviation.  A sister of Hordales had instituted a criminal
prosecution against her brother's antagonist.  The search for me was
hot, so that my mother, considering home as insecure, was painfully
anxious about me.  It was therefore necessary to set out that very
night for court, whither I come to solicit my pardon, and hope to
obtain it by your generous intercession with the prime minister.

The gallant son of Don Anastasio thus closed his narrative; after
which I observed, with a self-sufficient physiognomy, It is well,
Signor Don Roger; the offence seems to me to be venial.  I will
undertake to lay the case before his excellency, and may venture to
promise you his protection.  The thanks my client lavished would have
passed in at one ear and out at the other, if they had not been
backed by assurances of more substantial gratitude.  But when once
that string was touched, every nerve and fibre of my frame vibrated
in unison.  On the very same day did I relate the whole story to the
duke, who allowed me to present the gentleman, and addressed him
thus: Don Roger, I have been informed of the duel which has brought
you to court; Santillane has laid all the particulars before me.
Make yourself perfectly easy; you have done nothing but what the
circumstances of the case might almost warrant; and it is especially
on the ground of wounded honor that his Majesty is best pleased to
extend his grace and favor.  You must be committed for mere form's
sake; but you may depend on it, your confinement shall be of short
duration.  In Santillane you have a zealous friend, who will watch
over your interests and hasten your release.

Don Roger paid his respectful acknowledgments to the minister, on
whose pledge he went and surrendered himself.  His pardon was soon
made out, owing to my activity.  In less than ten days, I sent this
modern Telemachus home, to say, "How do you do?" to his Ulysses and
Penelope; had he stood upon the merits of his case without a
protector, he might have whined out a year's imprisonment, and
scarcely have got off at last.  My commission was but a poor hundred
pistoles.  It was no very magnificent haul; but I was not as yet a
Calderona, to turn up my nose at the small fry.




_CHAPTER IX._

_GIL BLAS MAKES A LARGE FORTUNE IN A SHORT TIME, AND BEHAVES LIKE
OTHER WEALTHY UPSTARTS._

This affair gave me a relish for my trade; and ten pistoles to
Scipio, by way of brokerage, whetted his eagerness to start more game
of the same sort.  I have already done justice to his talents that
way; he might as modestly have appended "the great" to the tail of
his name, as the most noted scoundrel of antiquity.  The second
customer he brought me was a printer, who manufactured books of
chivalry, and had made his fortune by waging war against common
sense.  This printer had pirated a work belonging to a brother
printer, and his edition had been seized.  For three hundred ducats I
rescued his copies out of jeopardy, and saved him from a heavy fine.
Though this was a transaction beneath the prime minister's notice,
his excellency condescended, at my request, to interpose his
authority.  After the printer, a merchant passed through my hands;
the occasion was thus: A Portuguese vessel had been taken by a
Barbary corsair, and retaken by a privateer from Cadiz.  Two thirds
of the cargo belonged to a merchant at Lisbon, who, having claimed
his due to no purpose, came to the court of Spain in search of a
protector, with sufficient credit to procure him restitution.  I took
up his cause, and he recovered his property, deducting the sum of
four hundred pistoles, paid to me in consideration of my
disinterested zeal for justice.

And now most surely the reader will call out to me at this place,
Well said, good master Santillane!  Make hay while the sun shines.
You are on the high road to fortune; push forward, and outstrip your
rivals.  O! let me alone for that.  I spy, or my eyes deceive me, my
servant coming in with a new gull that he has just caught.  Even so!
It is my very Scipio.  Let us hear what he has to say.  Sir, quoth
he, give me leave to introduce this eminent practitioner.  He wants a
license to sell his drugs, during the term of ten years, in all the
towns of the Spanish monarchy, to the exclusion of all other quacks;
in short, a monopoly of poisons.  In gratitude for this patent to
thin mankind, he will present the donor with a gratuity of two
hundred pistoles.  I looked superciliously, like a patron, at the
mountebank, and told him that his business should be done.  As
lameness and leprosy would have it, in the course of a few days, I
sent him on his progress through Spain, invested with full powers to
make the world his oyster, and leave nothing but the shell to his
unpatented competitors.

Besides that my avarice outran my accumulating wealth, I had obtained
the four boons just specified so easily from his grace, as not to be
mealy-mouthed about asking for a fifth.  The town of Vera, on the
coast of Grenada, wanted a governor; and a knight of Calatrava wanted
the government, for which he was willing to pay me one thousand
pistoles.  The minister was ready to burst with laughing, to see me
so eager after the scut.  By all the powers, my friend Gil Blas, said
he, you go to work tooth and nail!  You have a most inveterate itch
to do as you would be done by.  But mark me!  When mere trifles stand
between us, I shall not stand upon trifles; but when governments or
other places of real value are in question, you will have the modesty
to be content with half the fee for yourself, and will account to me
for the other half.  It is inconceivable at what expense I stand, and
how it presses on my finances to support the dignity of my station;
for though disinterestedness looks vastly well in the eyes of the
world, you are to understand, between ourselves, that I have made a
solemn vow against dipping into my private fortune.  On this hint,
arrange your future plans.

My master, by this discourse relieving me from the fear of being
troublesome, or rather egging me on to run at the ring for every
prize, made me still more worldly-minded than ever I had been before.
I should not have objected to circulating handbills, with an
invitation to all candidates for places to apply on certain terms at
the secretary's office.  My functions were here, Scipio's were there;
and we met at the receipt of custom.  My client got the government of
Vera for his thousand pistoles; and as our price was fixed, a knight
of St. James met his brother of Calatrava in the market on an equal
footing.  But mere governors were paltry fish to fry; I distributed
orders of knighthood, and converted some good stupid burgesses into
most insufferable gentry by one stroke of the pen, and a lacing
across the shoulders with a broadsword.  The clergy, too, were not
forgotten in my charities.  Lesser preferments were in my gift;
everything up to prebendal stalls and collegiate dignities.  With
regard to bishoprics and archbishoprics, Don Rodrigo de Calderona had
the charge of our holy religion.  As church and state must always go
together, supreme magistracies, commanderies, and viceroyalties were
all in his gift; whence the reader will naturally infer, that the
upper offices were little better tenanted than the lower ones; since
the subjects on whom our election fell, establishing their
pretensions on a certain palpable criterion, were not necessarily and
unavoidably either the cleverest or the best-principled people in the
world.  We knew very well that the wits and lampooners of Madrid made
themselves merry at our expense; but we borrowed our philosophy from
misers, who hug themselves under the hootings of the people, when
they count over the accumulation of their pelf.

Isocrates was in the right to insinuate, in his elegant Greek
expression, that what is got over the devil's back is spent under his
belly.  When I saw myself master of thirty thousand ducats, and in a
fair way to gain perhaps ten times as much, it seemed to be a
necessity of office to make such a figure as became the right hand of
a prime minister.  I took a house to myself, and furnished it in the
immediate taste.  I bought an attorney's carriage at second hand; he
had set it up at the suggestion of vanity, and laid it down at the
suggestion of his banker.  I hired a coachman and three footmen.
Justice demands that old and faithful servants should be promoted; I
therefore invested Scipio with the threefold honor of
valet-de-chambre, private secretary, and steward.  But the minister
raised my pride to its highest pitch, for he was pleased to allow my
people to wear his livery.  My poor little wits were now completely
turned.  I was little more in my senses than the disciples of Porcius
Latro, who, by dint of drinking cumin, having made themselves as pale
as their master, thought themselves every whit as learned; so I could
scarcely refrain from fancying myself next of kin and presumptive
heir to the Duke of Lerma himself.  The populace might take me for
his cousin, and people who knew better, for one of his bastards--a
suspicion most flattering to my pride of blood.

Add to this, that after the example of his excellency, who kept a
public table, I determined to give parties of my own.  Pursuant
thereunto, I commissioned Scipio to find me out a professed cook; and
he stumbled upon one who might have dished up a dinner for
Nomentanus, of dripping pan notoriety.  My cellar was well stored
with the choicest wines.  My establishment being now complete, I gave
my house-warming.  Every evening some of the clerks in the public
offices came to sup with me, and affected a sort of political high
life below stairs.  I did the honors hospitably, and always sent them
home half seas over.  Like master like man!  Scipio, too, had his
parties in the servants' hall, where he treated all his chums at my
expense.  But besides that I felt a real kindness for that lad, he
contributed to grease the wheels of my establishment, and was
entitled to have a finger in the dissipation.  As a young man, some
little license was allowable; and the ruinous consequences did not
strike me at the time.  Another reason, too, prevented me from taking
notice of it; incessant vacancies, ecclesiastical and secular, paid
me amply in meal and in malt.  My surplus was increasing every day.
Fortune's curricle seemed to have driven to my door, there to have
broken down, and the driver to have taken shelter with me.

One thing more was wanting to my complete intoxication--that Fabricio
might be witness to my pomp.  He was, most probably, come back from
Andalusia.  For the fun of surprising him, I sent an anonymous note,
importing that a Sicilian nobleman of his acquaintance would be glad
of his company to supper, with the day, hour, and place of
appointment, which was at my house.  Nunez came, and was most
inordinately astonished to recognize me in the Sicilian nobleman.
Yes, my friend, said I, behold the master of this family.  I have a
retinue, a good table, and a strong box besides.  Is it possible,
exclaimed he with vivacity, that all this opulence should be yours?
It was well done in me to have placed you with Count Galiano.  I told
you beforehand that he was a generous nobleman, and would not be long
before he set you at your ease.  Of course you followed my wise
advice, in giving the rein a little more freely to your servants; you
find the benefit of it.  It is only by a little mutual accommodation,
that the principal officers in great houses feather their nests so
comfortably.

I suffered Fabricio to go on as long as he liked, complimenting
himself for having introduced me to Count Galiano.  When he had done,
to chastise his ecstasies at having procured me so good a post, I
stated at full length the returns of gratitude with which that
nobleman had recompensed my services.  But, perceiving how ready my
poet was to string his lyre to satire at my recital, I said to him,
The Sicilian's contemptible conduct I readily forgive.  Between
ourselves, it is more a subject of congratulation than of regret.  If
the count had dealt honorably by me, I should have followed him into
Sicily, where I should still be in a subordinate capacity, waiting
for dead men's shoes.  In a word, I should not now have been hand in
glove with the Duke of Lerma.

Nunez felt so strange a sensation at these last words, that he was
tongue-tied for some seconds.  Then gulping up his stammering accents
like harlequin, Did I hear aright? said he.  What! you hand in glove
with the prime minister?  I on one side, and Don Rodrigo de Calderona
on the other, answered I; and according to all appearance, my
fortunes will move higher.  Truly, replied he, this is admirable.
You are cut out for every occasion.  What a universal genius!  To
borrow an expression from the tennis-court, you have a racket for
every ball; nothing comes amiss to you.  At all events, my lord, I am
sincerely rejoiced at your lordship's prosperity.  The deuce and all,
Master Nunez! interrupted I; good now, dispense with your lords and
lordships.  Let us banish such formalities, and live on equal terms
together.  You are in the right, replied he; altered circumstances
should not make strange faces.  I will own my weakness; when you
announced your elevation, you took away my breath; but the chill and
the shudder are over, and I see only my old friend Gil Blas.

Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of four or five
clerks.  Gentlemen, said I, introducing Nunez, you are to sup with
Signor Don Fabricio, who writes verses of impenetrable sublimity, and
such prose as would not know itself in the glass.  Unluckily I was
talking to gentry who would have had more fellow-feeling with an
orang outang than with a poet.  They scarcely condescended to look at
him.  In vain did he pun, parody, rally, or rail to hit their
fancies, for they had none.  He was so nettled at their indifference,
that he assumed the poetic license, and made his escape.  Our clerks
never missed him, but forgot at once that he had been there.

Just as I was going out the next morning, the poet of the Asturias
came into my room.  I beg pardon, said he, for having cut your clerks
so abruptly last night; but, to deal freely, I was so much out of my
element, that I should soon have played old chaos with them.  Proud
puppies, with their starch and self-important air!  I cannot conceive
how a clever fellow like you can sit it out with such loutish guests.
To-day I will bring you some of more life and spirit.  I shall be
very much obliged to you, answered I: your introduction is
sufficient.  Exactly so, replied he.  You shall have the feast of
reason and the flow of soul.  I will go forthwith and invite them,
for fear they should engage themselves elsewhere; for happy man be
his dole who can get them to dinner or supper, they are such
excellent company!

Away went he; and in the evening, at supper-time, returned with six
authors in his train, whom he presented one after another with a set
speech in their praise.  According to his account, the wits of Greece
and Italy were nothing in comparison of these, whose works ought to
be printed in letters of gold.  I received this deputation from the
tuneful sisters very politely.  My behavior was even in the
extravagance of good breeding; for the republic of authors is a
little monarchical in its demands upon our flattery.  Though I had
given Scipio no express direction respecting the number of covers at
this entertainment, yet knowing what a hungry and voluptuous race
were to be crammed, he had mustered the courses in more than their
full complement.

At length, supper was announced, and we fell to merrily.  My poets
began talking of their poems and themselves.  One fellow, with the
most lyrical assurance, numbered up whole hosts of first-rate
nobility and high-flying dames, who were quite enraptured with his
muse.  Another, though it was not for him to arraign the choice which
a learned society had lately made of two new members, could not help
saying that it was strange they should not have elected him.  All the
rest were much in the same story.  Amid the clatter of knives and
forks, my ears were more discordantly dinned with verses and
harangues.  They each took it by turns to give me a specimen of their
composition.  One languishes out a sonnet; another mouths a scene in
a tragedy; and a third reads a melancholy criticism on the province
of comedy.  The next in turn spouts an ode of Anacreon, translated
into most un-anacreontic Spanish verse.  One of his brethren
interrupts him, to point out the unclassical use of a particular
phrase.  The author of the version by no means acquiesces in the
remark; hence arises an argument, in which all the literati take one
side or the other.  Opinions are nearly balanced; the disputants are
nearly in a passion; as argument weakens, invective grows stronger;
they get from bad to worse; over goes the table, and up jump they to
fisticuffs.  Fabricio, Scipio, my coachman, my footman, and myself
have scarcely lungs or strength to bring them to their senses.  The
moment the battle was over, off scampered they as if my house had
been a tavern, without the slightest apology for their ill behavior.

Nunez, on whose word I had anticipated a very pleasant party, looked
rather blue at this conclusion.  Well, my friend, said I, what do you
think of your literary acquaintance now?  As sure as Apollo is on
Parnassus, you brought me a most blackguard set.  I will stick to my
clerks; so talk no more to me about authors.  I shall take care,
answered he, not to invite any of them to a gentleman's house again;
for these are the most select and well-mannered of the tribe.




_CHAPTER X._

_THE MORALS OF GIL BLAS BECOME AT COURT MUCH AS IF THEY HAD NEVER
BEEN AT ALL.  A COMMISSION FROM THE COUNT DE LEMOS, WHICH, LIKE MOST
COUNT COMMISSIONS, IMPLIES AN INTRIGUE._

When once my name was up for a man after the Duke of Lerma's own
heart, I had very soon my court about me.  Every morning was my
antechamber crowded with company, and my levees were all the fashion.
Two sorts of customers came to my shop; one set, to engage my
interposition with the minister, on fair commercial principles; the
other set, to excite my compassion by pathetic statements of their
cases, and give me a lift to heaven on the packhorse of charity.  The
first were sure of being heard patiently and served diligently; with
regard to the second order, I got rid of them at once by plausible
evasions, or kept them dangling till they wore their patience
threadbare, and went off in a huff.  Before I was about the court, my
nature was compassionate and charitable; but tenderness of heart is
an unfashionable frailty there, and mine became harder than any
flint.  Here was an admirable school to correct the romantic
sensibilities of friendship: nor was my philosophy any longer
assailable in that quarter.  My manner of dealing with Joseph
Navarro, under the following circumstances, will prove more than
volumes on that head.

This Navarro, the founder of my fortune, to whom my obligations were
thick and threefold, paid me a visit one day.  With the warmest
expressions of regard, such as he was in the habit of lavishing, he
begged me to ask the Duke of Lerma for a certain situation for one of
his friends, a young man of excellent qualities and undoubted merit,
but encumbered with an inability of getting on in the world.  I am
well assured, added Joseph, that with your good and obliging
disposition, you will be enraptured to confer a favor on a worthy man
with a very slender purse; I am sure you will feel obliged to me for
giving you an opportunity of carrying your benevolent inclinations
into effect.  This was just as good as telling me that the business
was to be done for nothing.  Though such doctrine was not quite level
to my capacity, I still affected a wish to do as he desired.  It
gives me infinite pleasure, answered I to Navarro, to have it in my
power to evince my lively sense of all your former kindness to me.
It is enough for you to take any man living by the hand; from that
moment he becomes the object of my unwearied care.  Your friend shall
have the situation you want for him; nay, he has it already: it is no
longer any concern of yours; leave it entirely to me.

On this assurance Joseph went away in high glee; nevertheless, the
person he recommended had not the post in question.  It was given to
another man, and my strong box was the stronger by a thousand ducats.
This sum was infinitely preferable to all the thanks in the world, so
that I looked pitifully blank when next we met, saying, Ah, my dear
Navarro! you should have thought of speaking to me sooner.  That
Calderona got the start of me; he has given away a certain thing that
shall be nameless.  I am vexed to the soul not to meet you with
better tidings.

Joseph was fool enough to give me credit, and we parted better
friends than ever; but I suspect that he soon found out the truth,
for he never came near me again.  This was just what I wanted.
Besides that the memory of benefits received grated harshly, it would
not have been at all the thing for a person in my then sphere to keep
company with a certain description of people.

The Count de Lemos has been long in the background; let us bring him
a little forwarder on the canvas.  We met occasionally.  I had
carried him a thousand pistoles, as the reader will recollect; and I
now carried him a thousand more, by order of his uncle, the duke, out
of his excellency's funds lying in my hands.  On this occasion the
Count de Lemos honored me with a long conference.  He informed me
that at length he had completely gained his end, and was in
unrivalled possession of the Prince of Spain's good graces, whose
sole confidant he was.  His next concern was to invest me with a
right honorable commission, of which he had already given me a hint.
Friend Santillane, said he, now is the time to strike while the iron
is hot.  Spare no pains to find out some young beauty, worthy to
while away the prince's amorous hours.  You have your wits about you;
and a word to the wise is sufficient.  Go; run about the town; pry
into every hole and corner; and when you have pounced upon anything
likely to suit, you will come and let me know.  I promised the count
to leave no stone unturned in the due discharge of my employment,
which seemed to require no great force of genius, since the
professors of the science are so numerous.

I had not hitherto been much practised in such delicate
investigations, but it was more than probable that Scipio had, and
that his talent lay peculiarly that way.  On my return home I called
him in, and spoke thus to him in private: My good fellow, I have a
very important secret to impart.  Do you know that in the midst of
fortune's favors there is something still wanting to crown all my
wishes?  I can easily guess what that is, interrupted he, without
giving me time to finish what I was going to say; you want a little
snug bit of contraband amusement, to keep you awake of evenings, and
rub off the rust of business.  And, in fact, it is a marvellous thing
that you should have played the Joseph in the heyday of your blood,
when so many gray beards around you are playing the Elder.  I admire
the quickness of your apprehension, replied I with a smile.  Yes, my
friend, a mistress is that something still wanting; and you shall
choose for me.  But I forewarn you that I am nice hungry, and must
have a pretty person, with more than passable manners.  The sort of
thing that you require, returned Scipio, is not always to be met with
in the market.  Yet, as luck will have it, we are in a town where
everything is to be got for money, and I am in hopes that your
commission will not hang long on hand.

Accordingly within three days he pulled me by the sleeve: I have
discovered a treasure! a young lady whose name is Catalina, of good
family and matchless beauty, living with her aunt in a small house,
where they make both ends meet by clubbing their little matters, and
set the slanderous world at defiance.  Their waiting-maid, a girl of
my acquaintance, has given me to understand that their door, though
barred against all impertinent intruders, would turn upon its hinges
to a rich and generous suitor, if he would only consent, for fear of
prying neighbors, not to pay his visits till after nightfall, and
then in the most private manner possible.  Hereupon I magnified you
as the properest gentleman in the world, and entreated piety in
pattens to offer your humble services to the ladies.  She promised to
do so, and to bring me back my answer to-morrow morning at an
appointed place.  That is all very well, answered I; but I am afraid
your goddess of bed-making has been running her rig upon you.  No,
no, replied he; old birds are not to be caught with chaff: I have
already made inquiry in the neighborhood, and by the general report
of her, Signora Catalina is a second Danae, on whom you will have the
happiness of coming down,

  Like Jove descending from his tower,
  To court her in a silver shower.


Out of conceit as I was with the intrinsic value of ladies' favors,
this was not to be scoffed at; and as our Mercury in petticoats came
the next day to tell Scipio that it only depended on me to be
introduced that very evening, I dropped in between eleven and twelve
o'clock.  The knowing one received me without bringing a candle, and
led me by the hand into a very neat apartment, where the two ladies
were sitting on a satin sofa, dressed in the most elegant taste.  As
soon as they saw me enter, they got up and welcomed me in a style of
such superior breeding, as would not have disgraced the highest rank.
The aunt, whose name was Signora Mencia, though with the remains of
beauty, had no attractions for me.  But the niece had a million, for
she was a goddess in mortal form.  And yet, to examine her
critically, she could not have been admitted for a perfect beauty;
but then there was a charm above all rules of symmetry, with a
tingling and luxurious warmth about her, that seized on men's hearts
through their eyes, and prevented their brains from being too busy.

Neither were my senses proof against so dazzling a display.  I forgot
my errand as proxy, and spoke on my own private individual account,
with the enthusiasm of a raw recruit in the tender passion.  The dear
little creature, whose wit sounded in my ears with three times its
actual acuteness, under favor of her natural endowments, made a
complete conquest of me by her prattle, I began to launch out into
foolish raptures, when the aunt, to bring me to my bearings, led the
conversation to the point in hand: Signor de Santillane, I shall deal
very explicitly with you.  On the high encomiums I have heard of your
character, you have been admitted here without the affectation of
making much ado about trifles: but do not imagine that your views are
the nearer their termination for that.  Hitherto I have brought my
niece up in retirement, and you are, as it were, the very first male
creature on whom she has ever set eyes.  If you deem her worthy of
being your wife, I shall feel myself highly honored by the alliance:
it is for you to consider whether those terms suit you; but you
cannot have her on cheaper.

This was proceeding to business with a vengeance!  It put little
Cupid to flight at once: or else he was just going to try one of his
sharpest arrows upon me.  But a truce with the Pantheon!  A marriage
so bluntly proposed dispelled the fairy vision: I sunk back at once
into the count's plodding agent, and changing my tone, answered
Signora Mencia thus: Madam, your frankness delights me, and I will
meet it half way.  Whatever rank I may hold at court, lower than the
highest is too low for the peerless Catalina.  A far more brilliant
offer waits her acceptance; the Prince of Spain shall be thrown into
her toils.  Surely it was enough to have refused my niece, replied
the aunt, sarcastically; such compliments are sufficiently unpleasing
to our sex; it could not be necessary to make us your unfeeling
sport.  I really am not in so merry a mood, madam, exclaimed I: it is
a plain matter of fact; I am commissioned to look out for a young
lady, of merit sufficient to engage the prince's heart, and receive
his private visits; the object of my search is in your house, and
here his royal highness shall fix his quarters.

Signora Mencia could scarcely believe her ears; neither were they
grievously offended.  Nevertheless, thinking it decent to be startled
at the immorality of the proceeding, she replied to the following
effect: Though I should give implicit credit to what you tell me, you
must understand that I am not of a character to take pleasure in the
infamous distinction of seeing my niece a prince's concubine.  Every
feeling of virtue and of honor revolts at the idea....  What a
simpleton you are with your virtue and honor! interrupted I.  You
have not a notion above the level of a tradesman's wife.  Was there
ever any thing so stupid as to consider affairs of this kind with a
view to their moral tendency?  It is stripping them of all their
beauty and excellence.  In the magic lantern of plenty, pleasure, and
preferment, they appear with all their brightest gloss.  Figure to
yourself the heir to the monarchy at the happy Catalina's feet; fancy
him all rapture and lavish bounty; nor doubt but that from her shall
spring a hero, who shall immortalize his mother's name, by enrolling
his own in the unperishable records of eternal fame.

Though the aunt desired no better sport than to take me at my word,
she affected not to know what she had best do; and Catalina, who
longed to have a grapple with the Prince of Spain, affected not to
care about the matter, which made it necessary for me to press the
siege closer, till at length Signora Mencia, finding me chopfallen
and ready to withdraw my forces, sounded a parley, and agreed to a
convention, containing the two following articles: _Imprimis_, if the
Prince of Spain, on the fame of Catalina's charms, should take fire,
and determine to pay her a nightly visit, it should be my care to let
the ladies know when they might expect him.  _Secondo_, that the
prince should be introduced to the said ladies as a private
gentleman, accompanied only by himself and his principal purveyor.

After this capitulation, the aunt and niece were upon the best terms
possible with me; they behaved as if we had known one another from
our cradles; on the strength of which I ventured on some little
familiarities, which were not taken at all unkindly; and when we
parted, they embraced me of their own accord, and slabbered me over
with inexpressible fondness.  It is marvellous to think with what
facility a tender connection is formed between persons in the same
line of trade, but of opposite sexes.  It might have been suspected
by an eye-witness of my departure, in all the plenitude of warm and
repeated salutation, that my visit had been more successful than it
was.

The Count de Lemos was highly delighted when I announced the
long-expected discovery.  I spoke of Catalina in terms which made him
long to see her.  The following night I took him to her house, and he
owned that I had beat the bush to some purpose.  He told the ladies
he had no doubt but the Prince of Spain would be fully satisfied with
my choice of a mistress, who, on her part, would have reason to be
well pleased with such a lover; that the young prince was generous,
good-tempered, and amiable; in short, he promised in a few days to
bring him in the mode they enjoined, without retinue or publicity.
That nobleman then took leave of them, and I withdrew with him.  We
got into his carriage, in which we had both driven thither, and which
was waiting at the end of the street.  He set me down at my own door,
with a special charge to inform his uncle next day of the new game
started, not forgetting to impress strongly how conducive a good bag
of pistoles would be to the successful accomplishment of the
adventure.

I did not fail on the following morning to go and give the Duke of
Lerma an exact account of all that had passed.  There was but one
thing kept back.  I did not mention Scipio's name, but took credit to
myself for the discovery of Catalina.  One makes a merit of any dirty
work in the service of the great.

Abundant were the compliments paid me on this occasion.  My good
friend Gil Blas, said the minister with a bantering air, I am
delighted that, with all your talents, you have that besides of
discovering kind-hearted beauties; whenever I have occasion for such
an article, you will have the goodness to supply me.  My lord,
answered I with mock gravity like his own, you are very obliging to
give me the preference; but it may not be unseasonable to observe
that there would be an indelicacy in my administering to your
excellency's pleasures of this description.  Signor don Rodrigo has
been so long in possession of that post about your person, that it
would be manifest injustice to rob him of it.  The duke smiled at my
answer, and then changing the subject, asked whether his nephew did
not want money for this new speculation.  Excuse my negligence! said
I; he will thank you to send him a thousand pistoles.  Well and good!
replied the minister; you will furnish him accordingly, with my
strict injunction not to be niggardly, but to encourage the prince in
whatever pleasurable expenses his heart may prompt him to indulge.




_CHAPTER XI._

_THE PRINCE OF SPAIN'S SECRET VISIT, AND PRESENTS TO CATALINA._

I went to the Count de Lemos on the spur of the occasion, with five
hundred double pistoles in my hand.  You could not have come at a
better time, said that nobleman.  I have been talking with the
prince; he has taken the bait, and burns with impatience to see
Catalina.  This very night he intends to slip privately out of the
palace, and pay her a visit; it is a measure determined on, and our
arrangements are already made.  Give notice to the ladies, through
the medium of the cash you have just brought; it is proper to let
them know they have no ordinary lover to receive, and a matter of
course that generosity in princes should be the herald of their
partialities.  As you will be of our party, take care to be in the
way at bed-time; and as your carriage will be wanted, let it wait
near the palace about midnight.

I immediately repaired to the ladies.  Catalina was not visible,
having just gone to lie down.  I could only speak with Signora
Mencia.  Madam, said I, forgive my appearance here in the daytime,
but there was no avoiding it; you must know that the Prince of Spain
will be with you to-night; and here, added I, putting my pecuniary
credentials into her hand, here is an offering which he lays on the
Cytherean shrine, to propitiate the divinities of the temple.  You
may perceive, I have not entangled you in a sleeveless concern.  You
have been excessively kind indeed, answered she; but tell me, Signor
de Santillane, does the prince love music?  To distraction, replied
I.  There is nothing he so much delights in as a fine voice, with a
delicate lute accompaniment.  So much the better, exclaimed she in a
transport of joy; you give me great pleasure by saying so, for my
niece has the pipe of a nightingale, and plays exquisitely on the
lute: then her dancing is in the finest style!  Heavens and earth!
exclaimed I in my turn, here are accomplishments by wholesale, aunt;
more than enough to make any girl's fortune!  Any one of those
talents would have been a sufficient dowry.

Having thus smoothed his reception, I waited for the prince's
bed-time.  When it was near at hand, I gave my coachman his orders,
and went to the Count de Lemos, who told me that the prince, the
sooner to get rid of the people about him, meant to feign a slight
indisposition, and even to go to bed, the better to cajole his
attendants; but that he would get up an hour afterwards, and go
through a private door to a back staircase leading into the
court-yard.

Conformably with their previous arrangements, he fixed my station.
There had I to beat the hoof so long, that I began to suspect our
forward sprig of royalty had gone another way, or else had changed
his mind about Catalina; just as if princes ever began to be fickle
till the goad of novelty and curiosity began to be blunted.  In
short, I thought they had forgotten me, when two men came up.
Finding them to be my party, I led the way to my carriage, into which
they both got, and I upon the coach-box to direct the driver, whom I
stopped fifty yards from the house, whither we walked.  The door
opened at our approach, and shut again as soon as we got in.

At first we were in absolute darkness, as on my former visit, though
a small lamp was fixed to the wall on the present occasion.  But the
light which it shed was so faint as only to render itself visible
without assisting us.  All this served only to heighten the romance
in the fancy of its hero, fixed as he was in steadfast gaze at the
sight of the ladies as they received him in a saloon whose brilliant
illumination was more dazzling when contrasted with the gloom of the
avenue.  The aunt and niece were in a tempting undress, where the
science of coquetry was displayed in all its luxury and absolute
sway.  Our prince could have been happy with Signora Mencia, had the
dear charmer Catalina been away; but as there was a choice, the
younger, according to the rules of precedency in the court of Cupid,
had the preference.

Well! prince, said the Count de Lemos, could you have desired a
better specimen of beauty?  They are both enchanting, answered the
prince, and my heart may as well surrender at once; for the aunt
would arrest it in its flight, if it attempted to sound a retreat
from the niece's all-subduing charms.

After such compliments as do not fall by wholesale to the share of
aunts, he addressed his choicest terms of flattery to Catalina, who
answered him in kind.  As convenient personages of my stamp are
allowed to mingle in the conversation of lovers, for the purpose of
making fire hotter, I introduced the subject of singing and playing
on the lute.  This was the signal of fresh rapture! and the nymph,
the muse, the anything but mortal, was supplicated to outtune the
jingle of the spheres.  She complied like a good-humored goddess;
played some tender airs, and sung so deliciously, that the prince
flopped down on his knees in a tumult of love and pleasure.  But
scenes like these are vapid in description: suffice it to say that
hours glided away like moments in this sweet delirium, till the
approach of day warned the sober plotters of the lunacy to provide
for their patient's safety and their own.  When the parties were all
snugly housed, we gave ourselves as much credit for the negotiation
as if we had patched up a marriage with a princess.

The next morning the Duke of Lerma desired to know all the
particulars.  Just as I had finished relating them, the Count de
Lemos came in, and said, The Prince of Spain is so engrossed by
Catalina, he has taken so decided a fancy to her, that he actually
proposes to be constant.  He wanted to have sent her jewels to the
amount of two thousand pistoles to-day, but his finances were
aground.  My dear Lemos, said he, addressing himself to me, you must
absolutely get me that sum.  I know it is very inconvenient; you have
pawned your credit for me already; but my heart owns itself your
debtor, and if ever I have the means of returning your kindness by
more than empty words, your fortunes shall not suffer by your
complaisance.  In answer, I assured him that I had friends and
credit, and promised to bring him what he wanted.

There is no difficulty about that, said the duke to his nephew.
Santillane will bring you the money; or, to save trouble, he may
purchase the jewels, for he is an admirable judge, especially of
rubies.  Are you not, Gil Blas?  This stroke of satire was of course
designed to entertain the count at my expense; and it was successful,
for his curiosity could not but be excited to know the meaning of the
mystery.  No mystery at all, replied his uncle, with a broad laugh.
Only Santillane took it into his head one day to exchange a diamond
for a ruby, and the barter operated equally to the advantage of his
pocket and his penetration.

Had the minister stopped there I should have come off cheaply; but he
took the trouble of dressing out in aggravated colors the trick that
Camilla and Don Raphael played me, with a most provoking enlargement
of the circumstances most to the disadvantage of my sagacity.  His
excellency, having enjoyed his joke, ordered me to attend the Count
de Lemos to a jeweller's, where we selected trinkets for the Prince
of Spain's inspection, and they were intrusted to my care, to be
delivered to Catalina.

There can be little doubt of my kind reception on the following
night, when I displayed a fine pair of drop ear-rings, as the
presents of my embassy.  The two ladies, out of their wits at these
costly tokens of the prince's love, suffered their tongues to run
into a gossiping strain, while they were thanking me for introducing
them into such worshipful society.  In the excess of their joy, they
forgot themselves a little.  There escaped now and then certain
peculiar idioms of speech, which made me suspect that the party in
question was no such dainty morsel for royalty to feed upon.  To
ascertain precisely what degree of obligation I had conferred on the
heir-apparent, I took my leave with the intention of coming to a
right understanding with Scipio.




_CHAPTER XII._

_CATALINA'S REAL CONDITION A WORRY AND ALARM TO GIL BLAS.  HIS
PRECAUTIONS FOR HIS OWN EASE AND QUIET._

On coming home, I heard a devil of a noise, and inquired what was the
meaning of it.  They told me that Scipio was giving a supper to
half-a-dozen of his friends.  They were singing as loud as their
lungs could roar, and threatening the stability of the house with
their protracted peals of laughter.  This meal was not in all
respects the banquet of the seven wise men.

The founder of the feast, informed of my arrival, said to his
company, Sit still, gentlemen; it is only the master of the house
come home; but that need not disturb you.  Go on with your
merry-making; I will but just whisper a word in his ear, and be back
again in a moment.  He came to me accordingly.  What an infernal din!
said I.  What sort of company do you keep below?  Have you, too, got
in among the poets?  Thank you for nothing! answered he.  Your wine
is too good to be given to such gentry; I turn it to better account.
There is a young man of large property in my party, who wishes to lay
out your credit and his own money in the purchase of a place.  This
little festivity is all for him.  For every glass he fills, I put on
ten pistoles, in addition to the regular fee.  He shall drink till he
is under the table.  If that is the case, replied I, go to your
presidentship, and do not spare the cellar.

Then was no proper time to talk about Catalina; but the next morning
I opened the business thus: Friend Scipio, the terms we are upon
entitle me to fair dealing.  I have treated you more like an equal
than a servant; consequently you would be much to blame to cheat me
on the footing of a master.  Let us, therefore, have no secrets
towards each other.  I am going to tell you what will surprise you;
and you, on your part, shall give me your sincere opinion about the
two women with whom you have brought me acquainted.  Between
ourselves, I suspect them to be no better than they should be; with
so much the more of the knave in their composition, because they
affect the simpleton.  If my conjecture be right, the Prince of Spain
has no great reason to be delighted with my activity; for I will own
to you frankly that it was for him I spoke to you about a mistress.
I brought him to see Catalina, and he is over head and ears in love
with her.  Sir, answered Scipio, you have dealt so handsomely by me,
that I shall act upon the square with you.  I had yesterday a private
interview with the abigail, and she gave me a most entertaining
history of the family.  You shall have it briefly, though it did not
come briefly to me.  Catalina was daughter to a sort of gentleman in
Arragon.  An orphan at fifteen, with no fortune but a pretty face,
she lent a complying ear to an officer who carried her off to Toledo,
where he died in six months, having been more like a father than a
husband to her.  She collected his effects together, consisting of
their joint wardrobe and three hundred pistoles in ready money, and
then went to housekeeping with Signora Mencia, who was still in
fashion, though a little on the wane.  These sisters, every way but
in blood, began at length to attract the attention of the police.
The ladies took umbrage at this, and decamped in dudgeon for Madrid,
where they have been living for these two years, without making any
acquaintance in the neighborhood.  But now comes the best of the
joke: they have taken two small houses adjoining each other, with a
passage of communication through the cellars.  Signora Mencia lives
with a servant girl in one of these houses, and the officer's widow
inhabits the other, with an old duenna, whom she passes off for her
grandmother; so that her versatile child of nature is sometimes a
niece brought up by her aunt, and sometimes an orphan under her
grandam's fostering whiff.  When she enacts the niece, her name is
Catalina; and when she personates the granddaughter, she calls
herself Sirena.

At the grating sound of Sirena I turned pale, and interrupted Scipio,
saying, What do you tell me?  Alas! it must be so.  This cursed imp
of Arragon is Calderona's charming Siren.  To be sure she is,
answered he, the very same!  I thought you would be delighted at the
news.  Quite the reverse, replied I.  It portends more sorrow than
laughter; do not you anticipate the consequences?  None of any ill
omen, rejoined Scipio.  What is there to be afraid of?  It is not
certain that Don Rodrigo will rub his forehead; and in case any
good-natured friend should show it him in the glass, you had better
let the minister into the secret beforehand.  Tell him all the
circumstances straightforward as they happened; he will see that
there has been no trick on your part; and if, after that, Calderona
should attempt to do you an ill office with his excellency, it will
be as clear as daylight that he is only actuated by a spirit of
revenge.

Scipio removed all my apprehensions by this advice, which I followed
in acquainting the Duke of Lerma at once with this unlucky discovery.
My aspect, while telling my tale, was sorrowful, and my tone
faltering, in evidence of my contrition for having unadvisedly
brought the prince and Don Rodrigo into such close quarters; but the
minister was more disposed to roast his favorite than to pity him.
Indeed, he ordered me to let the matter take its own course,
considering it as a feather in Calderona's cap to dispute the empire
of love with so illustrious a rival, and not to be worse used than
his lawful prince.  The Count de Lemos, too, was informed how things
stood, and promised me his protection, if the first secretary should
come at the knowledge of the intrigue, and attempt to undermine me
with the duke.

Trusting to have secured the frail bark of my fortunes by this
notable contrivance from the rocks and quicksands that threatened it,
my mind was once more at rest.  I continued attending the prince on
his visits to Catalina, siren-like in nature as in nickname, who was
fertile in quaint devices to keep Don Rodrigo away from next door,
whenever the course of business required her to devote her nights to
his royal competitor.




_CHAPTER XIII._

_GIL BLAS GOES ON PERSONATING THE GREAT MAN.  HE HEARS NEWS OF HIS
FAMILY: A TOUCH OF NATURE ON THE OCCASION.  A GRAND QUARREL WITH
FABRICIO._

I mentioned, some time ago, that in the morning there was usually a
crowd of people in my antechamber, coming to negotiate little private
concerns in the way of politics; but I would never suffer them to
open their business by word of mouth; but adopting court precedent,
or rather giving myself the airs of a jack in office, my language to
every suitor was, Send in a memorial on the subject.  My tongue ran
so glibly to that tune, that one day I gave my landlord the official
answer, when he came to put me in mind of a twelvemonth's rent in
arrear.  As for my butcher and baker, they spared me the trouble of
asking for their memorials, by never giving me time to run up a bill.
Scipio, who mimicked me so exactly, that only those behind the scenes
could distinguish the double from the principal performer, held his
head just as high with the poor devils who curried favor with him, as
a step of the ladder to my ministerial patronage.

There was another foolish trick of mine, of which I do not by any
means pretend to make a merit; neither more nor less than the extreme
assurance of talking about the first nobility, just as if I had been
one of their kidney.  Suppose, for example, the Duke of Alva, the
Duke of Ossuna, or the Duke of Medina Sidonia were mentioned in
conversation; I called them, without ceremony, my friend Alva, that
good-natured fellow Ossuna, or that comical dog Medina Sidonia.  In a
word, my pride and vanity had swelled to such a height, that my
father and mother were no longer among the number of my honored
relatives.  Alas! poor understrappers, I never thought of asking
whether you had sunk or were swimming in the Asturias.  A thought
about you never came into my head.  The court has all the soporific
virtues of Lethe in the case of poor relations.

My family was completely obliterated from the tablets of my memory,
when one morning a young man knocked at my door, and begged to speak
with me for a moment in private.  He was shown into my closet, where,
without asking him to take a chair, as he seemed to be quite a common
fellow, I desired to know abruptly what he wanted.  How!  Signor Gil
Blas, said he, do you not remember me?  It was in vain that I perused
the lines of his face over and over again; I was obliged to tell him
fairly that he had the advantage of me.  Why, I am one of your old
schoolfellows! replied he, bred and born in Oviedo; Bertrand Muscada,
the grocer's son, next door neighbor to your uncle the canon.  I
recollect you as well as if it was but yesterday.  We have played a
thousand times together at blind man's buff and prison bars.

My youthful recollections, answered I, are very transient and
confused.  Blind man's buff and prison bars are but childish
amusement!  The burden of state affairs leaves me little time to
ruminate on the trifles of my younger days.  I am come to Madrid,
said he, to settle accounts with my father's correspondent.  I heard
talk of you.  Folks say that you have a good berth at court, and are
already almost as well off as a Jew broker.  I thought I would just
call in and say, how d'ye do?  On my return into the country, your
family will jump out of their skins for joy, when they hear how
famously you are getting on.

It was impossible in decency to avoid asking how my father, my
mother, and my uncle stood in the world; but that duty was performed
in so gingerly a manner as to leave the grocer little room to
compliment dame Nature on her liberal provision of instinct.  He
seemed quite shocked at my indifference for such near kindred, and
told me bluntly, with his coarse shopman's familiarity, Methinks you
might have shown more heartiness and natural feeling for your
kinsfolk!  Why, you ask after them just as if they were vermin!  Your
father and mother are still at service; take that in your dish!  And
the good canon, Gil Perez, eaten up with gout, rheumatism, and old
age, has one foot in the grave.  People should feel as people ought;
and seeing that you are in a berth to be a blessing to your poor
parents, take a friend's advice, and allow them two hundred pistoles
a-year.  That will be doing a handsome thing, and making them
comfortable; and then you may spend the rest upon yourself with a
good conscience.  Instead of being softened by this family picture, I
only resented the officiousness of unasked advice.  A more delicate
and covert remonstrance might perhaps have made its impression, but
so bold a rebuke only hardened my heart.  My sulky silence was not
lost upon him, so that while he moralized himself out of charity into
downright abuse, my choler began to overflow.  Nay, then! this is too
much, answered I, in a devil of a passion.  Get about your business,
Master Muscada, and mind your own shop.  You are a pretty fellow to
preach to me!  As if I were to be taught my duty by you!  Without
further parley I handed the grocer out of my closet by the shoulder,
and sent him off to weigh figs and nutmegs at Oviedo.

The home-strokes he had laid on were not lost to my sober
recollection.  My neglect of filial piety struck home to my heart,
and melted me into tears.  When I recollected how much my childhood
was indebted to my parents, what pains they had taken in my
education, these affecting thoughts gave language for the moment to
the still small voice of nature and gratitude; but the language was
never translated into solid sense and service.  An habitual
callousness succeeded this transient sensation, and peremptorily
cancelled every obligation of humanity.  There are many fathers
besides mine who will acknowledge this portrait of their sons.

Avarice and ambition, dividing me between them, annihilated every
trace of my former temper.  I lost all my gayety, became absent and
moping; in short, a most unsociable animal.  Fabricio, seeing me so
furiously bent on accumulation, and so perfectly indifferent to him,
very rarely came to see me.  He could not help saying one day, In
truth, Gil Blas, you are quite an altered man.  Before you were about
the court, you were always pleasant and easy.  Now you are all
agitation and turmoil.  You form project after project to make a
fortune, and the more you realize, the wider your views of
aggrandizement extend.  But this is not the worst!  You have no
longer that expansion of heart, those open manners, which form the
charm of friendship.  On the contrary, you wrap yourself round, and
shut the avenues of your heart even to me.  In your very civilities I
detect the violence you impose upon yourself.  In short, Gil Blas is
no longer the same Gil Blas whom I once knew.

You really have a most happy talent for bantering, answered I, with
repulsive jocularity.  But this metamorphose into the shag of a
savage is not perceptible to myself.  Your own eyes, replied he, are
insensible to the change, because they are fascinated.  But the fact
remains the same.  Now, my friend, tell me fairly and honestly, shall
we live together as heretofore?  When I used to knock at your door in
the morning, you came and opened it yourself, between asleep and
awake, and I walked in without ceremony.  Now, what a difference!
You have an establishment of servants.  They keep me cooling my heels
in your antechamber; my name must be sent in before I can speak to
you.  When this is got over, what is my reception?  A cold
inclination of the head, and the insolent strut of office.  Any one
would suppose that my visits were growing troublesome!  Can you
suppose this to be treatment for a man who was once on equal terms
with you?  No, Santillane, it can never be, nor will I bear it
longer.  Farewell.  Let us part without ill blood.  We shall both be
better asunder; you will get rid of a troublesome censor, and I of a
purse-proud upstart who does not know himself.

I felt myself more exasperated than reformed by his reproaches, and
suffered him to take his departure without the slightest effort to
overcome his resolution.  In the present temper of my mind, the
friendship of a poet did not seem a catch of sufficient importance to
break one's heart about its loss.  I found ample amends in the
intimacy of some subaltern attendants about the king's person, with
whom a similarity of humor had lately connected me closely.  These
new acquaintances of mine were for the most part men from no one
knows where, pushed up to their appointments more by luck than merit.
They had all got into warm berths, and, wretches as they were,
measuring their own consequence by the excess of royal bounty, forgot
their origin as scandalously as I forgot mine.  We gave ourselves
infinite credit for what told so much and bitterly to our disgrace.
O Fortune! what a jade you are, to distribute your favors at
hap-hazard as you do!  Epictetus was perfectly in the right when he
likened you to a jilt of fashion, prowling about in masquerade, and
tipping the wink to every blackguard who parades the street.




BOOK THE NINTH.



_CHAPTER I._

_SCIPIO'S SCHEME OF MARRIAGE FOR GIL BLAS.  THE MATCH, A RICH
GOLDSMITH'S DAUGHTER.  CIRCUMSTANCES CONNECTED WITH THIS SPECULATION._

One evening, on the departure of my supper company, finding myself
alone with Scipio, I asked him what he had been doing that day.
Striking a master-stroke, answered he.  I intend that you should
marry.  A goldsmith of my acquaintance has an only daughter, and I
mean to make up a match between you.

A goldsmith's daughter! exclaimed I, with a disdainful air; are you
out of your senses?  Can you think of tying me up to a trinket-maker?
People of a certain character in society, and on a certain footing at
court, ought to have much higher views of things.  Pardon me, sir,
rejoined Scipio; do not take the subject up in that light.  Recollect
that nobility accrues by the male side, and do not ride a higher
horse than a thousand jockeys of quality whom I could name.  Do you
know that the heiress in question will bring a hundred thousand
ducats in her pocket?  Is not that a pretty little sprig of jewelry?
To the resounding echo of so large a sum my ears were instantly
symphonious.  The day is your own, said I to the secretary; the
fortune determines the case in the lady's favor.  When do you mean to
put me in possession?  Fair and softly, sir, answered he; the more
haste, the worse speed.  It will be necessary for me first to
communicate the affair to the father, and instil the advantage of it
into his capacity.  Good! rejoined I, with a burst of laughter; is it
thereabouts you are?  The match is far advanced in its progress
towards consummation.  Much nearer than you suppose, replied he.  But
one hour's conversation with the goldsmith, and I pledge myself for
his consent.  But, before we go any farther, let us come to an
agreement, if you please.  Supposing that I should transfer a hundred
thousand ducats to you, what would my commission be?  Twenty
thousand! was my answer.  Heaven be praised therefore, said he.  I
guessed your gratitude at ten thousand; so that it doubles mine in a
similar case.  Come on then!  I will set this negotiation on foot
to-morrow morning; and you may count upon its success, or I am little
better than one of the foolish ones.

In fact, he said to me two days afterwards, I have spoken to Signor
Gabriel Salero, my friend the goldsmith.  On the loud report of your
high desert and credit, he has lent a favorable ear to my offer of
you for a son-in-law.  You are to have his daughter with a hundred
thousand ducats, provided you can make it appear clearly that you are
in possession of the minister's good graces.  Since that is the case,
said I confidently to Scipio, I shall soon be married.  But, not
entirely to forget the girl, have you seen her? is she pretty?  Not
quite so pretty as her fortune, answered he.  Between ourselves, this
heiress's looks are as hard as her cash.  Luckily, you are perfectly
indifferent about that.  Stone blind, by the light of the sun, my
good fellow! replied I.  As for us whimsical fellows about court, we
marry merely for the sake of marrying.  When we want beauty, we look
for it in our friends' wives; and if, by fates and destinies, the
sweets are wasted on our own, their flavor is so mawkish to our
palate, that there is some merit in their not carrying the commodity
to a foreign market.

This is not all, resumed Scipio: Signor Gabriel hopes for the
pleasure of your company to supper this evening.  By agreement, there
is to be no mention of marriage.  He has invited several of his
mercantile friends to this entertainment, where you will take your
chance with the rest, and to-morrow he means to sup with you on the
same terms.  By this you will perceive his drift of looking before he
leaps.  You will do well to be a little on your guard before him.  O,
for the matter of that, interrupted I, with an air of confidence, let
him scrutinize me as closely as he pleases, the result cannot fail to
be in my favor.

All this happened as it was foretold.  I was introduced at the
goldsmith's, who received me with the familiarity of an old
acquaintance.  A vulgar dog, but warm; and as troublesome with his
civility as a prude with her virtue.  He presented me to Signora
Eugenia his wife, and the youthful Gabriela his daughter.  I opened
wide my budget of compliments, without infringing the treaty, and
prattled soft nothings to them, in all the vacuity of courtly
dialogue.

Gabriela, with submission to my secretary's better taste, was not
altogether so repulsive; whether by dint of being outrageously
bedizened, or because I looked at her in the raree-show box of her
fortune.  A charming house this of Signor Gabriel!  There is less
silver, I verily believe, in the Peruvian mines, than under his roof.
That metal presented itself to the view in all directions, under a
thousand different forms.  Every room, and especially that where we
were entertained, was a fairy palace.  What a bird's-eye view for a
son-in-law!  The old codger, to do the thing genteelly, had collected
five or six merchants about him, all plodding, spirit-wearing
personages.  Their tongues could only talk of what their hearts were
set upon: it was high change all supper-time; but unfortunately wit
was at a discount.

Next night it was my turn to treat the goldsmith.  Not being able to
dazzle him with my sideboard, I had recourse to another artifice.  I
invited to supper such of my friends as made the finest figure at
court, hangers-on of state, noted for the unwieldiness of their
ambition.  These fellows could not talk on common topics: the
brilliant and lucrative posts at which they aimed were all canvassed
in detail; this too made its way.  Poor counting-house Gabriel, in
amazement at the loftiness of their ideas, shrunk into
insignificance, in spite of all his hoards, on a comparison with
these wonderful men.  As for me, in all the plausiblity of
moderation, I professed to wish for nothing more than a comfortable
fortune; a snug box and a competence: whereupon these gluttons of the
loaves and fishes cried out with one voice that I was wrong,
absolutely criminal; for the prime minister would do anything upon
earth for me, and it was an act of duty to anoint my fingers with
bird-lime.  My honored papa lost not a word of all this, and seemed,
at going away, to take his leave with some complacency.

Scipio went, of course, the next morning, to ask him how he liked me.
Extremely well indeed, answered the knight of the ledger; the lad has
won my very heart.  But, good master Scipio, I conjure you by our
long acquaintance to deal with me as a true friend.  We have all our
weak side, as you well know.  Tell me where Signor de Santillane is
fallible.  Is he fond of play?  Does he wench?  On what lay are his
snug little vices?  Do not fight shy, I beseech you.  It is very
unkind, Signor Gabriel, to put such a question, retorted the
go-between.  Your interest is more to me than my master's.  If he had
any slippery propensities, likely to make your daughter unhappy,
would I ever have proposed him as a son-in-law?  The deuce a bit!  I
am too much at your service.  But, between ourselves, he has but one
fault--that of being faultless.  He is too wise for a young man.  So
much the better, replied the goldsmith; he is the more like me.  You
may go, my friend, and tell him he shall have my daughter, and should
have her, though he knew no more of the minister than I do.

As soon as my secretary had reported this conversation, I flew to
thank Salero for his partiality.  He had already told his mind to his
wife and daughter, who gave me to understand, by their reception,
that they yielded without disgust.  I carried my father-in-law to the
Duke of Lerma, whom I had informed the evening before, and presented
him with due ceremony.  His excellency gave him a most gracious
reception, and congratulated him on having chosen a man for his
son-in-law for whom he himself had so great a regard, and meant to do
such great things.  Then did he expatiate on my good qualities, and,
in fact, said so much to my honor, that honest Gabriel thought he had
met with the best match in Spain.  His joy oozed out at his eyes.  On
parting, he pressed me in his arms, and said, My son, I am so
impatient to see you Gabriela's husband, that the affair shall be
finally settled within a week at latest.

_CHAPTER II._

_IN THE PROGRESS OF POLITICAL VACANCIES, GIL BLAS RECOLLECTS THAT
THERE IS SUCH A MAN IN THE WORLD AS DON ALPHONSO DE LEYVA, AND
RENDERS HIM A SERVICE FROM MOTIVES OF VANITY._

Let us leave my marriage to take care of itself for a season.  The
order of events requires me to recount a service rendered to my old
master Don Alphonso.  I had entirely forgotten that gentleman's
existence; but a circumstance recalled it to my recollection.

The government of Valencia became vacant at this time, and put me in
mind of Don Alphonso de Leyva.  I considered within myself that the
employment would suit him to a nicety, and determined to apply for it
on his behalf, not so much out of friendship as ostentation.  If I
could but procure it for him, it would do me infinite honor.  I told
the Duke of Lerma that I had been steward to Don Cæsar de Leyva and
his son, and that, having every reason in the world to feel myself
obliged to them, I should take it as a favor if he would give the
government of Valencia to one or other of them.  The minister
answered, Most willingly, Gil Blas.  I love to see you grateful and
generous.  Besides, the family stands very high in my esteem.  The
Leyvas are loyal subjects; so that the place cannot be better
bestowed.  You may take it as a wedding present, and do what you like
with it.

Delighted at the success of my application, I went to Calderona in a
prodigious hurry, to get the patent made out for Don Alphonso.  There
was a great crowd waiting in respectful silence till Don Rodrigo
should come and give audience.  I made my way through, and the closet
door opened as if by sympathy.  There were no one knows how many
military and civil officers, with other people of consequence, among
whom Calderona was dividing his attentions.  His different reception
of different people was curious.  A slight inclination of the head
was enough for some; others he honored with a profusion of courtly
grimace, and bowed them out of the closet.  The proportions of
civility were weighed to a scruple.  On the other hand, there were
some suitors, who, shocked at his cold indifference, cursed in their
secret soul the necessity for their cringing before such a monkey of
an idol.  Others, on the contrary, were laughing in their sleeve at
his gross and self-sufficient air.  But the scene was thrown away
upon me; nor was I likely to profit by such a lesson.  It was exactly
the counterpart of my own behavior; and I never thought of
ascertaining whether my deportment was popular or offensive, so long
as there was no violation of outward respect.

Don Rodrigo, accidentally casting a look towards me, left a
gentleman, to whom he was speaking, without ceremony, and came to pay
his respects with the most unaccountable tokens of high
consideration.  Ah, my dear colleague! exclaimed he, what occasion
procures me the pleasure of seeing you here?  Is there anything we
can do for you?  I told him my business; whereupon he assured me, in
the most obliging terms, that the affair should be expedited within
four-and-twenty hours.  Not satisfied with these overwhelming
condescensions, he conducted me to the door of his antechamber,
whither he never attended any but the nobility of first rank.  His
farewell was as flattering as his reception.

What is the meaning of all this palaver? said I, while retreating;
has any raven croaked my entrance, and prophesied promotion to
Calderona by my overthrow?  Does he really languish for my
friendship? or does he feel the ground giving way under his feet, and
wish to save himself by clinging to the branches of my favor and
protection?  It seemed a moot point which of these conjectures might
be the right.  The following day, on my return, his behavior was of
the same stamp; caresses and civilities poured in upon me in
torrents.  It is true that other people, who attempted to speak to
him, were rumped in exact proportion with the blandishments of his
face towards me.  He snarled at some, petrified others, and made the
whole circle run the gantlet of his displeasure.  But they were all
amply avenged by an occurrence, the relation of which may give a
gentle hint to all the clerks and secretaries on the list of my
readers.

A man very plainly dressed, and certainly not looking at all like
what he was, came up to Calderona, and spoke to him about a memorial
stated to have been presented by himself to the Duke of Lerma.  Don
Rodrigo, without looking from his clothes up to his face, said in a
sharp, ungracious tone, Who may you happen to be, honest man?  They
called me Francillo in my childhood, answered the stranger,
unabashed; my next style and title was that of Don Francillo de
Zuniga; and my present name is the Count de Pedrosa.  Calderona was
all in a twitter at this discovery, and attempted to stammer out an
excuse, when he found that he had to do with a man of the first
quality.  Sir, said he to the count, I have to beg you ten thousand
pardons; but not knowing whom I had the honor to .... I want none of
your apologies, interrupted Francillo with proud indignation; they
are as nauseous as your rudeness was unbecoming.  Recollect
henceforth that a minister's secretary ought to receive all
descriptions of people with good manners.  You may be vain enough to
affect the representative of your master, but the public know you for
his menial servant.

The haughty Don Rodrigo blushed blue at this rebuke.  Yet it did not
mend his manners one whit.  On me it made a salutary impression.  I
determined to take care and ascertain the rank of my petitioners
before I gave a loose to the insolence of office, and to inflict
torture only upon mutes.  As Don Alphonso's patent was made out, I
sent it by a purpose messenger, with a letter from the Duke of Lerma,
announcing the royal favor.  But I took no notice of my own share in
the appointment, nor even accompanied it with a line, in the fond
hope of announcing it by word of mouth, and surprising him agreeably,
when he came to court on occasion of taking the customary oaths.




_CHAPTER III._

_PREPARATIONS FOR THE MARRIAGE OF GIL BLAS.  A SPOKE IN THE WHEEL OF
HYMEN._

And now once more for my lovely Gabriela!  We were to be married in a
week.  Preparations were making on both sides for the ceremony.
Salero ordered a rich wardrobe for the bride, and I hired a
waiting-woman for her, a footman, and a gentleman usher of decent
aspect and advanced years.  The whole establishment was provided by
Scipio, who longed more longingly than myself for the hour when we
were to be fingering the fortune.

On the evening before the happy day, I was supping with my
father-in-law, the rest of the company being made up of uncles,
aunts, and cousins of either sex and every degree.  The part of a
supple-visaged son-in-law sat upon me to perfection.  Nothing could
exceed my profound respect for the goldsmith and his wife, or the
transports of my passion at Gabriela's feet, while I smoothed my way
into the graces of the family, by listening with impregnable patience
to their witless repartees and irrational ratiocinations.  Thus did I
gain the great end of all my forbearance--the pleasure of pleasing my
new relations.  Every individual of the clan felt himself a foot
taller for the honor of my alliance.

The repast ended, the company moved into a large room, where we were
entertained with a concert of vocal and instrumental music, not the
worst that was ever heard, though the performers were not selected
from the choicest bands at Madrid.  Some lively airs put us in mind
of dancing.  Heaven knows what sort of performers we must have been,
when they took me for the coryphæus of the opera, though I never had
but two or three lessons from a petty dancing-master, who taught the
pages on the establishment of the Marchioness de Chaves.  After we
had tired our tendons, it was time to think of going home.  There was
no end of my bows and God-bless-you's.  Farewell, my dear son-in-law,
said Salero, as he squeezed my hand; I shall be at your house in the
morning with the portion in ready money.  You will be welcome, come
when you list, my dear father-in-law, answered I.  Afterwards,
wishing the family good night, I jumped into my carriage, and ordered
it to drive home.

Scarcely had I got two hundred yards from Signor Gabriel's house,
when fifteen or twenty men, some on foot and some on horseback, all
with swords and fire-arms, surrounded and stopped the coach, crying
out, _In the name of our sovereign lord the king_.  They dragged me
out by main force, and thrust me into a hack-chaise, when the leader
of the party got in with me, and ordered the driver to go for
Segovia.  There could be no doubt but the honest gentleman by my side
was an alguazil.  I wanted to know something about the cause of my
arrest; but he answered in the language of those gentry, which is
very bad language, that he had other things to do than to satisfy my
impertinent curiosity.  I suggested that he might have mistaken his
man.  No, no, retorted he, the fool is wiser than that.  You are
Signor de Santillane; and in that case you are to go along with me.
Not being able to deny that fact, it became an act of prudence to
hold my tongue.  For the remainder of the night we traversed
Mancanarez in sulky silence, changed horses at Colmenar, and arrived
the next evening at Segovia, where the lodging provided for me was in
the tower.

[Illustration: Gil Blas in prison]




_CHAPTER IV._

_THE TREATMENT OF GIL BLAS IN THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA.  THE CAUSE OF HIS
IMPRISONMENT._

Their first favor was to clap me up in a cell, where they left me on
the straw like a criminal, whose only earthly portion was to con over
his dying speech in solitude.  I passed the night, not in bewailing
my fate,--for it had not yet presented itself in all its
aggravation,--but in endeavoring to divine its cause.  Doubtless it
must have been Calderona's handiwork.  And yet, though his branching
honors might have pressed thick upon his senses, I could not conceive
how the Duke of Lerma could have been induced to treat me so
inhumanly.  Sometimes I apprehended my arrest to have been without
his excellency's knowledge; at other times I thought him the
contriver of it, for some political reasons, such as weigh with
ministers when they sacrifice their accomplices at the shrine of
state policy.

My mind was vibrating to and fro with these various conjectures, when
the dawn, peeping in at my little grated window, presented to my
sight all the horror of the place where I was confined.  Then did I
vent my sorrows without ceasing, and my eyes became two springs of
tears, flowing inexhaustibly at the remembrance of my prosperous
state.  Pending this paroxysm of grief, a turnkey brought me my day's
allowance of bread and water.  He looked at me, and on the
contemplation of my tear-besprinkled visage, jailer as he was, there
came over him a sentiment of pity: Do not despair, said he.  This
life is full of crosses, but mind them not.  You are young; after
these days, you will live to see better.  In the mean time, eat at
the king's mess with what appetite you may.

My comforter withdrew with this quaint invitation, answered by my
groans and tears.  The rest of the day was spent in cursing my
wayward destiny, without thinking of my empty stomach.  As for the
royal morsel, it seemed more like the message of wrath than the boon
of benevolence; the tantalizing protraction of pain, rather than the
solace of affliction.

Night came, and with it the rattle of a key in my keyhole.  My
dungeon door opened, and in came a man with a wax-light in his hand.
He advanced towards me, saying, Signor Gil Blas, behold in me one of
your old friends.  I am Don Andrew de Tordesillas, in the Archbishop
of Grenada's service while you enjoyed that prelate's favor.  You may
recollect engaging his interest in my behalf, and thereby procuring
me a post in Mexico; but instead of embarking for the Indies, I
stopped in the town of Alicant.  There I married the governor's
daughter, and by a series of adventures of which you shall hereafter
have the particulars, I am now warden of this tower.  It is expressly
forbidden me to let you speak to any living soul, to give you any
better bed than straw, or any other sustenance than bread and water.
But besides that your misfortunes interest my humanity, you have done
me service, and gratitude countervails the harshness of my orders.
They think to make me the instrument of their cruelty, but it is my
better purpose to soften the rigor of your captivity.  Get up and
follow me.

Though my humane keeper was entitled to some acknowledgment, my
spirits were so affected as to interdict my speech.  All I could do
was to attend him.  We crossed a court, and mounted a narrow
staircase to a little room at the top of the tower.  It was no small
surprise, on entering, to find a table, with lights on it, neatly set
out with covers for two.  They will serve up immediately, said
Tordesillas.  We are going to sup together.  This snug retreat is
appointed for your lodging; it will agree better with you than your
cell.  From your window you will look down on the flowery banks of
the Erêma, and the delicious vale of Coca, bounded by the mountains
which divide the two Castiles.  At first you will care little for
prospects; but when time shall have softened your keener sensations
into a composed melancholy, it will be a pleasure to feast your eyes
on such engaging scenes.  Then, as for linen and other necessaries
befitting a man accustomed to the comforts of life, they shall be
always at your service.  Your bed and board shall be such as you
could wish, with a plentiful supply of books.  In a word, you shall
have everything but your liberty.

My spirits were a little tranquillized by these obliging offers.  I
took courage, and returned my best thanks, assuring him that his
generous conduct restored me to life, and that I hoped at some time
or other to find an opportunity of testifying my gratitude.  To be
sure! and why should you not? answered he.  Did you fancy yourself a
prisoner for life?  Nothing less likely! and I would lay a wager that
you will be released in a very few months.  What say you, Signor Don
Andrew? exclaimed I.  Then surely you are acquainted with the
occasion of my misfortune.  You guess right, replied he.  The
alguazil who brought you hither told me the whole story in
confidence.  The king, hearing that the Count de Lemos and you were
in the habit of escorting the Prince of Spain by night to a house of
suspicious character, as a punishment for your loose morals, has
banished the count, and sent you hither, to be treated in the style
of which you have had a specimen.  And how, said I, did that
circumstance come to the king's knowledge?  That is what I am most
curious to ascertain.  And that, answered he, is precisely what the
alguazil did not tell, apparently because he did not know.

At this epoch of our conversation, the servants brought in supper.
When everything was set in order, Tordesillas sent away the
attendants, not wishing our conversation to be overheard.  He shut
the door, and we took our seats opposite to each other.  Let us say
grace, and fall to, said he.  Your appetite ought to be good after
two days of fasting.  Under this impression he loaded my plate as if
he had been cramming the craw of a starveling.  In fact, nothing was
more likely than that I should play the devil among the ragouts; but
what is likely does not always happen.  Though my intestines were
yearning for support, their staple stuck in my throat, for my heart
loathed all pleasurable indulgence in the present state of my
affairs.  In vain did my warden, to drive away the blue devils,
pledge me continually, and expatiate on the excellence of his wine;
imperishable nectar would have been pricked, according to the
fastidious report of my palate.  This being the case, he went another
way to work, and told me the story of his marriage, with as much
humor as such a subject would admit.  Here he was still less
successful.  So wandering was my attention, that before the end, I
had forgotten the beginning and the middle.  At length he was
convinced that there was no diverting my gloomy thoughts for that
evening.  After finishing his solitary supper, he rose from table,
saying, Signor de Santillane, I shall leave you to your repose, or
rather to the free indulgence of your own reveries.  But, take my
word for it, your misfortune will not be of long continuance.  The
king is naturally good.  When his anger shall have passed away, and
your deplorable estate shall occur to his milder thoughts, your
punishment will appear sufficient in his eyes.  With these words, my
kind-hearted jailer went down stairs, and sent the servants to take
away.  Not even the brass candlesticks were left behind; and I went
to bed by the palpable darkness of a glimmering lamp suspended
against the wall.




_CHAPTER V._

_HIS REFLECTIONS BEFORE HE WENT TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT, AND THE NOISE
THAT WAKED HIM._

Two hours at least were my thoughts employed on what Tordesillas had
told me.  Here, then, am I, for having lent myself to the pleasures
of the heir-apparent!  It was certainly not having my wits about me,
to pander for so young a prince.  Therein consists my crime: had he
been arrived at a more knowing age, the king perhaps might only have
laughed at what has now made him so angry.  But who can have given
such counsel to the monarch, without dreading the prince's resentment
or the Duke of Lerma's?  That minister will doubtless take ample
vengeance for his nephew the Count de Lemos.  How can the king have
made the discovery?  That is above my comprehension.

This last was the eternal burden of my song.  But the idea most
afflictive to my mind, what drove me to despair, and laid fiend-like
hold upon my fancy, was the unquestioned plunder of my effects.  My
strong box, exclaimed I, my dear wealth, what is become of you?  Into
what hands have you fallen?  Alas! you are lost in less time than you
were gained!  The ruinous confusion of my household was the perpetual
death's head of my imagination.  Yet this wilderness of melancholy
ideas sheltered me from absolute distraction; sleep, which had
shunned my wretched straw, now paid his readier visit to my soft and
gentlemanly couch.  Watching and wine, too, imparted a strong
narcotic to his poppies.  My slumbers were profound; and to all
appearance, the day might have peeped in upon my repose, if I had not
been awakened all at once by such sounds as rarely perforate a prison
wall.  I heard the thrum of a guitar, accompanying a man's voice.  My
whole attention was absorbed; but the invisible musician paused, and
left the fleeting impression of a dream.  An instant afterwards, my
ear was soothed with the sound of the same instrument, and the same
voice.

  Wisely the ant against poor winter hoards
  The stock which summer's wealth affords;
  In grasshoppers, that must at autumn die,
  How vain were such an industry!

  Of love or fortune the deceitful light
  Might half excuse our cheated sight,
  If it of life the whole small time would stay,
  And be our sunshine all the day.[*]


[*] To have substituted, with a slight variation, these two stanzas
from Cowley for a translation of the commonplace couplet in the
original, will probably not be thought to require any apology.  They
necessarily involve a change in the consequent reflections of our
hero.  TRANSLATOR.


These verses, which sounded as if they had been sung expressly for
the dirge of my departed happiness, were only an aggravation of my
feelings.  The truth of the sentiment, said I, is but too well
exemplified in me.  The meteor of court favor has but plunged me in
substantial darkness; the summer sunshine of ambition is quenched in
these autumnal glooms.  Now did I sink again into cold and
comfortless meditation; my miseries began to flow afresh, as if they
fed and grew upon their own vital stream.  Yet my wailings ended with
the night; and the first rays which played upon my chamber wall
amused my mind into composure.  I got up to open my window, and let
the vivid air of morning into my room.  Then I glanced over the
country, so attractively depicted in the description of my keeper.
It did not seem to justify his panegyric.  The Erêma, a second Tagus
in my magnifying fancy, was little better than a brook.  Its flowery
banks were fringed with nettles, and arrayed in all the majesty of
thistles; the delicious vale in this fairy prospect was a barren
wilderness, untamed by human labor.  It therefore was very evident
that my keener sensations were not yet softened into such a composed
melancholy as could give any but a jaundiced coloring to the
landscape.

I began dressing, and had already half finished my toilet, when
Tordesillas ushered in an old chambermaid, laden with shirts and
towels.  Signor Gil Blas, said he, here is your linen.  Do not be
saving of it; there shall always be as many changes as you can
possibly want.  Well, now! and how have you passed the night?  Has
the drowsy god administered his anodyne?  I could have slept till
this time, answered I, if I had not been awakened by a voice singing
to a guitar.  The cavalier who has disturbed your repose, resumed he,
is a state prisoner; and his chamber is contiguous to yours.  He is a
knight of the military order of Calatrava, and is a very accomplished
person.  His name is Don Gaston de Cogollos.  You may meet as often
as you like, and take your meals together.  It will afford reciprocal
consolation to compare your fortunes.  There can be no doubt of your
being agreeable to one another.  I assured Don Andrew how sensible I
was of his indulgence in allowing me to blend my sorrows with those
of my fellow-sufferer; and, as I betrayed some impatience to be
acquainted with him, our accommodating warden met my wishes on the
very same day.  He fixed me to dine with Don Gaston, whose
prepossessing physiognomy and symmetry of feature struck me sensibly.
Judge what it must have been to make so strong an impression on eyes
accustomed to encounter the dazzling exterior of the court.  Figure
to yourself a man fashioned in the mould of pleasure; one of those
heroes in romance, who has only to show his face, and banish the
sweet sleep from the eyelids of princesses.  Add to this, that
nature, who is generally bountiful with one hand and niggardly with
the other, had crowned the perfections of Cogollos with wit and
valor.  He was a man, whose like, take him for all in all, we might
not soon look upon again.

If this fine fellow was mightily to my taste, it was my good luck not
to be altogether offensive to him.  He no longer sang at night for
fear of annoying me, though I begged him by no means to restrain his
inclinations on my account.  A bond of union is soon formed between
brethren in misfortune.  A close friendship succeeded to mere
acquaintance, and strengthened from day to day.  The liberty of
uninterrupted intercourse contributed greatly to our mutual support;
our burden became lighter by division.

One day after dinner I went into his room, just as he was tuning his
guitar.  To hear him more at my ease, I sat down on the only stool;
while he, reclining on his bed, played a pathetic air, and sang to it
a ditty, expressing the despair of a lover and the cruelty of his
mistress.  When he had finished, I said to him with a smile, Sir
knight, such strains as these could never be applicable to your own
successes with the fair.  You were not made to cope with female
repulse.  You think too well of me, answered he.  The verses you have
just heard were composed to fit my own case--to soften a heart of
adamant.  You must hear my story, and in my story, my distresses.




_CHAPTER VI._

_HISTORY OF DON GASTON DE COGOLLOS AND DONNA HELENA DE GALISTEO._

It will be very soon four years since I left Madrid to go and see my
aunt Donna Eleonora de Laxarilla at Coria: she is one of the richest
dowagers in Old Castile, with myself for her only heir.  Scarcely had
I got within her doors, when love invaded my repose.  The windows of
my room faced the lattice of a lady living opposite; but the street
was narrow, and her blinds pervious to the eye.  It was an
opportunity too delicious to be lost, and I found my neighbor so
lovely that my heart was captivated.  The subject of my sentry-watch
could not be mistaken.  She marked it well; but she was not a girl to
glory in the detection, still less to encourage my fooleries.

It was natural to inquire the name of this mighty conqueror.  I
learned it to be Donna Helena, only daughter of Don George de
Galisteo, lord of a large domain near Coria.  She had innumerable
offers of marriage; but her father repulsed them all, because he
meant to bestow her hand on his nephew Don Austin de Olighera, who
had uninterrupted access to his cousin while the settlements were
preparing.  This was no bar to my hopes: on the contrary, it whetted
my eagerness, and the insolent pleasure of supplanting a favored
rival was, perhaps, at bottom equally my motive with a more noble
passion.  My visual artillery was obstinately planted against my
unyielding fair.  Her attendant Felicia was not without any incense
of a glance, to soften her rigid constancy in my favor; while nods
and becks stood for the current coin of language.  But all these
efforts of gallantry were in vain--the maid was impregnable, like her
mistress--never was there such a pair of cold and cruel ones.

The commerce of the eyes being so unthrifty, I had recourse to
different agents.  My scouts were on the watch to hunt out what
acquaintance Felicia might have in town.  They discovered an old
lady, by name Theodora, to be her most intimate friend, and that they
often met.  Delighted at the intelligence, I went point blank to
Theodora, and engaged her by presents in my interest.  She took my
cause up heartily, promised to contrive an interview for me with her
friend, and kept her engagement the very next day.

I am no longer the wretch of yesterday, said I to Felicia, since my
sufferings have melted you to pity.  How deep is my debt to your
friend for her kind interference in my behalf!  Sir, answered she,
Theodora can do what she pleases with me.  She has brought me over to
your side of the question; and if I can do you a kindness, you shall
soon be at the summit of your wishes; but, with all my partiality in
your favor, I know not how far my efforts may be successful.  It
would be cruel to mislead you; the prize will not be gained without a
severe conflict.  The object of your passion is betrothed to another
gentleman, and her character most inauspicious to your designs.  Such
is her pride, and so closely locked are her secrets within her own
breast, that if, by constancy and assiduities, you could extort from
her a few sighs, fancy not that her haughty spirit would indulge your
ears with their music.  Ah! my dear Felicia, exclaimed I, in an
agony, why will you thus magnify the obstacles in my way?  To set
them in array will kill me.  Lead me on with false hopes, if you
will, but do not drive me to despair.  With these words I took one of
her hands, pressed it between mine, and slid a diamond on her finger,
value three hundred pistoles, with such a moving compliment as made
her weep again.

Such speeches and corresponding actions deserved some scanty comfort.
She smoothed a little the rugged path of love.  Sir, said she, what I
have just been telling you need not quite quench your hope.  Your
rival, it is true, is in possession of the ground.  He comes back and
fore as he pleases.  He toys with her as often as he likes; but all
that is in your favor.  The habit of constant intercourse sheds a
languor over their meetings.  They part without pain, and come
together without emotion.  One would take them for man and wife.  In
a word, my mistress has no marks of violent love for Don Austin.
Besides, in point of person, there is such a difference between you
and him as cannot fail to catch the eye of a nice observer like Donna
Helena.  Therefore do not be cast down.  Continue your particular
attentions.  You shall have a second in me.  I shall let no
opportunity escape of pointing out to my mistress the merit of all
your exertions to please her.  In vain shall she intrench herself
behind reserve.  In spite of guard and garrison, I will ransack the
muster-roll of her sentiments.

Now were my open attacks and secret ambuscades more fiercely pointed
against the daughter of Don George.  Among the rest, I entertained
her with a serenade.  After the concert, Felicia, to sound her
mistress, begged to know how she had been entertained.  The singer
had a good voice, said Donna Helena.  But how did you like the words?
replied the abigail.  I scarcely noted them, returned the lady; the
music engrossed my whole attention.  The poetry excited as little
curiosity as its author.  If that is the case, exclaimed the
chambermaid, poor Don Gaston de Cogollos is reckoning without his
host; and a miserable spendthrift of his glances, to be always ogling
at our lattice-work.  Perhaps it may not be he, said the mistress,
with petrifying indifference, but some other spark, announcing his
passion by this concert.  Excuse me, answered Felicia, it is Don
Gaston himself, who accosted me this morning in the street, and
implored me to assure you how he adored, in defiance of your rigorous
repulses; but that he should esteem himself the most blest of mortals
if you would allow him to soothe his desponding thoughts by all the
most delicate and impassioned attentions.  Judge now if I can be
mistaken, after so open an avowal.

Don George's daughter changed countenance at once, and said to her
servant, with a severe frown.  You might well have dispensed with the
relation of this impertinent discourse.  Bring me no more such idle
tales; and tell this young madman, when next he accosts you, to play
off his shallow artifices on some more accommodating fool; but, at
all events, let him choose a more gentlemanly recreation than that of
lounging all day at his window, and prying into the privacy of my
apartment.

This message was faithfully delivered at my next interview with
Felicia, who assured me that her mistress's modes of speech were not
to be taken in their literal construction, but that my affairs were
in the best possible train.  For my part, being little read in the
science of coquetry, and finding no favorable sense on the face of
the author's original words, I was half out of humor with the
wire-drawn comments of the critic.  She laughed at my misgiving, and
asked her friend for pen, ink, and paper, saying, Sir knight of the
doleful countenance, write immediately to Donna Helena as dolefully
as you look.  Make echo ring with your sufferings; outsigh the
river's murmur; and, above all, let rocks and woods resound with the
prohibition of appearing at your window.  Then pawn your existence on
obeying her, though without the possibility ever to redeem the
pledge.  Turn all that nonsense into pretty sentences, as you gay
deceivers so well know how to do, and leave the rest to me.  The
event, I flatter myself, will redound more than you are aware to the
honor of my penetration.

He must have been a strange lover who would not have profited by so
opportune an occasion of writing to his mistress.  My letter was
couched in the most pathetic terms.  Felicia smiled at its contents,
and said that if the women knew the art of infatuating men, the men,
in return, had borrowed their influence over women from the arch
wheedler himself.  My privy counsellor took the note, and went back
to Don George's, with a special injunction that my windows should be
fast shut for some days.

Madam, said she, going up to Donna Helena, I met Don Gaston.  He must
needs endeavor to come round me with his flattering speeches.  In
tremulous accents, like a culprit pleading against his sentence, he
begged to know whether I had spoken to you on his behalf.  Then, in
prompt and faithful compliance with your orders, I snapped up the
words out of his mouth.  To be sure, my tongue did run at a fine rate
against him.  I called him all manner of names, and left him in the
street like a stock, staring at my termagant loquacity.  I am
delighted, answered Donna Helena, that you have disengaged me from
that troublesome person.  But there was no occasion to have snubbed
him so unmercifully.  A creature of your degree should always keep a
good tongue in its mouth.  Madam, replied the domestic, one cannot
get rid of a determined lover by mincing one's words, though it comes
to much the same thing when one flies into a passion.  Don Gaston,
for instance, was not to be bullied out of his senses.  After having
given it him on both sides of his ears, as I told you, I went on that
errand of yours to the house of your relation.  The lady, as ill luck
would have it, kept me longer than she ought.  I say longer than she
ought, because my plague and torment met me on my return.  Who the
deuce would have thought of seeing him?  It put me all in a twitter;
but then my tongue, which at other times is apt to be in a twitter,
stuck motionless in my mouth.  While my tongue stuck motionless in my
mouth, what did he do?  He slid a paper into my hand without giving
me time to consider whether I should take it or no, and made off in a
moment.

After this introduction, she drew my letter from under her stays, and
gave it with half a banter to her mistress, who affected to read it
in humorous scorn, but digested the contents most greedily, and then
put on the starch, offended prude.  In good earnest, Felicia, said
she, with all the gravity she could assume, you were extremely off
your guard, quite bewildered and fascinated, to have taken the charge
of such an epistle.  What construction would Don Gaston put upon it?
What must I think of it myself?  You give me reason, by this strange
behavior, to mistrust your fidelity, while he must suspect me of
encouraging his odious suit.  Alas! he may, perhaps, lay that
flattering unction to his soul, that my love is legible in these
characters, and not his trespass.  Only consider how you lay my
towering pride.  O, quite the reverse, madam, answered the
petticoated pleader; it is impossible for him to think that; and if
he did, he would soon be convinced with a flea in his ear.  I shall
tell him, when next we meet, that I have delivered his letter, that
you glanced at the superscription with petrifying indifference, and
then, without reading a word, tore it into ten thousand pieces.  You
may swear that I did not read it with a safe conscience, replied
Donna Helena.  I should be puzzled to retrace a single sentiment.
Don George's daughter, not contented with these words, suited the
action to them, tore my letter, and imposed silence on my advocate.

As I had promised no longer to play the lover at my window, the farce
of obedience was kept up for several days.  Ogling being interdicted,
my courtship was doomed to enter in at my Helena's obdurate ears.
One night I attended under her balcony with musicians; the first bars
of the serenade were already playing, when a staggering blade, sword
in hand, rushed in upon our harmony, laying about him to the right
and left, to the utter discomfiture of the troop.  Such mad warfare
fired my tilting propensities to equal fury.  The affray became
serious.  Donna Helena and her maid were disturbed by the clash of
swords.  They looked out at their lattice, and saw two men engaged.
Their cries roused Don George and his servants.  The whole
neighborhood was assembled to part the combatants.  But they came too
late: on the field of battle, bathed in its own blood and almost
lifeless, lay my unfortunate body.  They carried me to my aunt's, and
sent for the best surgical assistance in the place.

All the world was merciful, and wished me well, especially Donna
Helena, whose heart was now unmasked.  Her forced severity yielded to
her natural feelings.  Would you believe it?  The cold, relentless,
insensible, was kindled into the warmest of love's votaries.  She
wore out the remainder of the night in weeping with her faithful
confidante, and giving her cousin, Don Austin de Olighera, to
perdition; for him they taxed with the plotted massacre, and the bill
was a true one.  He could hide his heart as well as his cousin; he
therefore watched my motions, without seeming to suspect them; and
fancying them not to be without a corresponding impulse, he resolved
not to be sacrificed with impunity.  The accident was an awkward one
to me, but it ended in overpowering rapture.  Dangerous as my wound
was, the surgeon soon brought me about.  I was still confined to my
chamber, when my aunt, Donna Eleonora, went over to Don George, and
made proposals for Donna Helena.  He consented the more readily to
the marriage, as he never expected to see Don Austin again.  The good
old man was afraid of his daughter's not liking me, because cousin
Olighera had kept her company; but she was so tractable to the
parental behest, as to furnish grounds for believing that in Spain,
as in other countries, the species, not the individual, is the object
with the sex.

Felicia, at our first private meeting, communicated the emotions of
her mistress on my misfortune.  Now, like another Paris, I thought
Troy well lost for my Helen, and blessed the happy consequences of my
wound.  Don George allowed me to speak with his daughter in presence
of her attendant.  What a heavenly interview!  I begged and prayed
the lady so earnestly to tell me whether her sufferance of my vows
was forced upon her by her father, that she at length confessed her
obedience to be in unison with her inclinations.  After so delicious
a declaration, my whole soul was given up to love and pleasurable
gratifications.  Our nuptials were to be graced by a magnificent
procession of all the principal people in Coria and the neighborhood.

I gave a splendid party at my aunt's country-house, in the suburbs on
the side of Manroi.  Don George, his daughter, the family, and
friends on both sides were present.  There was a concert of vocal and
instrumental music, with a company of strolling players, to represent
a comedy.  In the middle of the festivities, some one whispered me
that a man wanted to speak with me in the hall.  I got up from table
to go and see who it was.  The stranger looked like a gentleman's
servant.  He put a letter into my hand, containing these words:--


"If you have any sense of honor, as a knight of your order ought to
have, you will not fail to attend to-morrow morning in the plain of
Manroi.  There you will find an antagonist ready to give you your
revenge for his former attack upon your person, or, what he rather
hopes and meditates, to spoil your connubial transports with Donna
Helena.

"DON AUSTIN DE OLIGHERA."


If love is a Spanish passion, revenge is the Spanish lunacy.  Such a
note as this was not to be read with composure.  At the mere
subscription of Don Austin, there kindled in my veins a fire which
almost made me forget the claims of hospitality.  I was tempted to
steal away from my company, and seek my antagonist on the instant.
For fear of disturbing the merriment, however, I bridled in my rage,
and said to the messenger, My friend, you may tell your employer that
I shall meet him on the appointed spot at sunrise, and resume the
contest with obstinacy equal to his own.

After sending this answer, I resumed my seat at table with so
composed a mien that no creature had the least suspicion of what had
occurred.  During the rest of the day I gave myself up to the
pleasures of the festival, which ended not till midnight.  The guests
then returned to town; but I staid behind, under pretext of taking
the air on the following morning.  Instead of going to bed, I watched
for the dawn with maddening impatience.  With the first ray I got on
horseback, and rode alone towards Manroi.  On the plain was a
horseman, riding up to me at full speed.  I pushed forward, and we
met halfway.  It was my rival.  Knight, said he, superciliously, it
is against my will that I meet you a second time on the same
occasion; but you have brought your fate on yourself.  After the
adventure of the serenade, you ought to have waived your pretensions
to Don George's daughter, or at least to have been assured that the
support of them must cost you dearer than a single encounter.  You
are too much elated, answered I, with an advantage which is less
owing, perhaps, to your superior skill, than to the darkness of the
night.  Remember that victory is of the same blind family with
fortune.  It shall be my lot to teach you, replied he with insulting
scorn, that I have unsealed the eyes of both.

At this proud defiance, we both dismounted, tied our horses to a
tree, and engaged with equal fury.  I must candidly acknowledge the
prowess of my antagonist, who was a consummate master of fencing.  My
life was exposed to the greatest possible danger.  Nevertheless, as
the strong is often vanquished by the weak, my rival, in spite of all
his science, received a thrust through the heart, and fell a lifeless
corpse.

I immediately returned, and told a confidential servant what had
happened, requesting him to take horse and acquaint my aunt, before
the officers of justice could get intelligence of the event.  He was
also to obtain from her a supply of money and jewels, and then join
me at the first inn as you enter Plazencia.

All this was performed within three hours.  Donna Eleonora rather
triumphed than mourned over a catastrophe which restored my injured
honor, and sent me large remittances for my travels abroad till the
affair had blown over.

Not to dwell on different circumstances, suffice it to say, that I
embarked for Italy, and equipped myself so as to make a respectable
figure at the several courts.

While I was endeavoring to beguile the weary hours of absence, Helena
was weeping at home from the same cause.  Instead of joining in the
family resentment, her heart was panting for a compromise, and for my
speedy return.  Six months had already elapsed, and I firmly believe
that her constancy would have been proof against the track of time,
had time been seconded by no more powerful ally.  Don Blas de
Combados, a gentleman from the western coast of Galicia, came to
Coria, to take possession of a rich inheritance unsuccessfully
contested by a near relation.  He liked that country so much better
than his own, that he made it his principal residence.  Combados was
a personable man.  His manners were gentle and well bred, his
conversation most insinuating.  With such a passport, he soon got
into the best company, and knew all the family concerns of the place.

It was not long before he heard of Don George's daughter, and of her
extraordinary beauty.  This touched his curiosity nearly; he was
eager to behold so formidable a lady.  For this purpose, he
endeavored to worm himself into the good graces of her father, and
succeeded so well, that the old gentleman, already looking on him as
a son-in-law, gave him free admission to the house, and the liberty
of conversing with Donna Helena in his presence.  The Galician soon
became deeply enamoured of her; indeed, it was the common fate of all
who had ever beheld her charms.  He opened his heart to Don George,
who consented to his paying his addresses, but told him that so far
from offering violence to her inclination, he should never interfere
in her choice.  Hereupon Don Blas pressed every device that
impassioned ingenuity could suggest into his service, to melt and
warm the icicles of reserve; but the lady was impenetrable to his
arts, fast bound in the fetters of an earlier love.  Felicia,
however, was in the new suitor's interest, convinced of his merit by
the universal argument.  All the faculties of her soul were called
forth in his cause.  On the other hand, the father urged his wishes
and entreaties.  Thus was Donna Helena tormented for a whole year
with their importunities, and yet her faith continued unshaken.

Combados, finding that Don George and Felicia took up his cause with
very little success, proposed an expedient for conquering prejudice
to the following effect.  We will suppose a merchant of Coria to have
received a letter from his Italian correspondent, in which, among the
news of the day, there shall be the following paragraph: "A Spanish
gentleman, Don Gaston de Cogollos, has lately arrived at the court of
Parma.  He is said to be nephew and sole heir to a rich widow of
Coria.  He is paying his addresses to a nobleman's daughter; but the
family wishes to ascertain the validity of his pretensions.  Send me
word, therefore, whether you know this Don Gaston, together with the
amount of his aunt's fortune.  On your answer the marriage will
depend.  Parma, ... day of, &c."

The old gentleman considered this trick as a mere ebullition of
humor, a lawful stratagem of amorous warfare; and the jade of a
go-between, with conscience still more callous than her master's, was
delighted with the probability of the manoeuvre.  It seemed to be so
much the more happily imagined, as they knew Helena to be a proud
girl, capable of taking decisive measures in the moment of surprise
and indignation.  Don George undertook to be the herald of my
fickleness, and by way of coloring the contrivance more naturally, to
confront the pretended correspondent with her.  This project was
executed as soon as formed.  The father, with counterfeit emotions of
displeasure, said to Donna Helena, Daughter, it is not enough now to
tell you that our relations inveigh against an alliance with Don
Austin's murderer; a still stronger reason henceforward presses to
detach you from Don Gaston.  It may well overwhelm you with shame to
have been his dupe so long.  Here is an undeniable proof of his
inconstancy.  Only read this letter, just received by a merchant of
Coria from Italy.  The trembling Helena caught at this forged paper,
glanced over the writing, then weighed every expression, and stood
aghast at the import of the whole.  A keen pang of disappointment
wrung from her a few reluctant tears; but pride came to her
assistance; she wiped away the falling drops of weakness, and said to
her father, in a determined tone, Sir, you have just been witness of
my folly; now bear testimony to my triumph over myself.  The delusion
is past; Don Gaston is the object of my utter contempt.  I am ready
to meet Don Blas at the altar, and be beforehand with the traitor in
the pledge of our transferred affections.  Don George, transported
with joy at this change, embraced his daughter, extolled her spirit
to the skies, and hastened the necessary preparations, with all the
self-complacency of a successful plotter.

Thus was Donna Helena snatched from me.  She threw herself into the
arms of Combados in a pet, not listening to the secret whispers of
love within her breast, nor suspecting a story which ought to have
seemed so improbable in the annals of true passion.  The haughty are
always the victims of their own rash conclusions.  Resentment of
insulted beauty triumphed wholly over the suggestions of tenderness.
And yet, a few days after marriage, there came over her some feelings
of remorse for her precipitation; it struck her that the letter might
have been a forgery; and the very possibility disturbed her peace.
But the enamoured Don Blas left his wife no time to nurse up thoughts
injurious to their new-found joys; a succession of gayety and
pleasure kept her in a thoughtless whirl, and shielded her from the
pangs of unavailing repentance.

She appeared to be in high good humor with so spirit-stirring a
husband, so that they were living together in perfect unanimity, when
my aunt adjusted my affair with Don Austin's relations.  Of this she
wrote me word to Italy.  I returned on the wings of love.  Donna
Eleonora, not having announced the marriage, informed me of it on my
arrival, and remarking what pain it gave me, said, You are in the
wrong, nephew, to show so much feeling for a faithless fair.  Banish
from your memory a person so unworthy to share in its tender
recollections.

As my aunt did not know how Donna Helena had been played upon, she
had reason to talk as she did; nor could she have given me better
advice.  To affect indifference, if not to conquer my passion, was my
bounden duty.  Yet there could be no harm in just inquiring by what
means this union had been brought to bear.  To get at the truth, I
determined on applying to Felicia's friend, Theodora.  There I met
with Felicia herself, who was confounded at my unwelcome presence,
and would have escaped from the necessity of explanation.  But I
stopped her.  Why do you avoid me? said I.  Has your perjured
mistress forbidden you to give ear to my complaints? or would you
make a merit with the ungrateful woman of your voluntary refusal?

Sir, answered the plotting abigail, I confess my fault, and throw
myself on your mercy.  Your appearance here has filled me with
remorse.  My mistress has been betrayed, and unhappily in part by my
agency.  The particulars of their infernal device followed this
avowal, with an endeavor to make me amends for its lamentable
consequence.  To this effect, she offered me her services with her
mistress, and promised to undeceive her; in a word, to work night and
day, that she might soften the rigor of my sufferings, and open the
career of hope.

I pass over the numberless contradictions she experienced before she
could accomplish the projected interview.  It was at length arranged
to admit me privately, while Don Blas was at his hunting-seat.  The
plot did not linger.  The husband went into the country, and they
sent for me to his lady's apartment.

My onset was reproachful in the extreme, but my mouth was soon shut
upon the subject.  It is useless to look back upon the past, said the
lady.  It can be no part of our present intention to work upon each
other's feelings; and you are grievously mistaken if you fancy me
inclined to flatter your aspiring hopes.  My sole inducement for
receiving you here was to tell you personally that you have only
henceforth to forget me.  Perhaps I might have been better satisfied
with my lot had it been united with yours; but, since heaven has
ordered it otherwise, we must submit to its decrees.

What! madam, answered I, is it not enough to have lost you, to see my
successful rival in quiet possession of all my soul holds dear, but I
must also banish you from my thoughts?  You would tear from me even
my passion, my only remaining blessing!  And think you that a man,
whom you have once enchanted, can recover his self-possession?  Know
yourself better, and cease to enforce impracticable behests.  Well
then! if so, rejoined she with hurried importunity, do you cease to
flatter yourself with interesting my gratitude or my pity.  In one
short word, the wife of Don Blas shall never be the mistress of Don
Gaston.  Let us at once end a conversation at which delicacy revolts
in spite of virtue, and peremptorily forbids its longer continuance.

I now threw myself at the lady's feet in despair.  All the powers of
language and of tears were called forth to soften her.  But even this
served only to excite some inbred sentiments of compassion, stifled
as soon as born, and sacrificed at the shrine of duty.  After having
fruitlessly exhausted all my stores of tender persuasion, rage took
possession of my breast.  I drew my sword, and would have fallen on
its point before the inexorable Helena; but she saw my design, and
prevented it.  Stay your rash hand, Cogollos, said she.  Is it thus
that you consult my reputation?  In dying thus, and here, you will
brand me with dishonor, and my husband with the imputation of murder.

In the agony of my despair, far from yielding to these suggestions, I
only struggled against the preventive efforts of the two women, and
should have struggled too successfully, if Don Blas had not appeared
to second them.  He had been apprised of our assignation, and,
instead of going into the country, had concealed himself behind the
hangings, to overhear our conference.  Don Gaston, cried her as he
arrested my uplifted arm, recall your scattered senses, and no longer
give a loose to these mad transports.

Here I could hold no longer.  Is it for you, said I, to turn me from
my resolution?  You ought rather yourself to plunge a dagger in my
bosom.  My love, with all its train of miseries, is an insult to you.
Have you not surprised me in your wife's apartment at this
unseasonable hour?  What greater provocation can you want for your
revenge?  Stab me, and rid yourself of a man who can only give up the
adoration of Donna Helena with his life.  It is in vain, answered Don
Blas, that you endeavor to interest my honor in your destruction.
You are sufficiently punished for your rashness; and my wife's
imprudence, in giving you this opportunity of indulging it, is
sanctified by the purity of her sentiments.  Take my advice,
Cogollos: shrink not effeminately from your wayward destiny, but bear
up against it with the patient courage of a hero.

The prudent Galician, by such language, gradually composed the
ferment of my mind, and waked me once more to virtue.  I withdrew in
the determination of removing far from the scene of my folly, and
went for Madrid two days afterwards.  There, pursuing the career of
fortune and preferment, I appeared at court, and laid myself out for
connections.  But it was my ill luck to attach myself particularly to
the Marquis of Villareal, a Portuguese grandee, who, lying under a
suspicion of intending to emancipate his country from the Spanish
yoke, is now in the castle of Alicant.  As the Duke of Lerma knew me
to be closely connected with this nobleman, he gave orders for my
arrest and detention here.  That minister thought me capable of
engaging in such a project--he could not have offered a more
outrageous affront to a man of noble birth and a Castilian.

Don Gaston thus ended his story.  By way of consolation I said to
him, Illustrious sir, your honor can receive no taint from this
temporary detainer, and your interest will probably be promoted by it
in the end.  When the Duke of Lerma shall be convinced of your
innocence, he will not fail to give you a considerable post, and thus
retrieve the character of a gentleman unjustly accused of treason.




_CHAPTER VII._

_SCIPIO FINDS GIL BLAS OUT IN THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA, AND BRINGS HIM A
BUDGET OF NEWS._

Our conversation was interrupted by Tordesillas, who came into the
room, and addressed me thus: Signor Gil Blas, I have just been
speaking with a young man at the prison gate.  He inquired if you
were not here, and looked much mortified at my refusal to satisfy his
curiosity.  Noble governor, said he, with tears in his eyes, do not
reject my most humble petition.  I am Signor de Santillane's
principal domestic, and you will do an act of charity by allowing me
to see him.  You pass for a kind-hearted gentleman in Segovia; I hope
you will not deny me the favor of conversing for a few minutes with
my dear master, who is unfortunate rather than criminal.  In short,
continued Don Andrew, the lad was so importunate, that I promised to
comply with his wishes this evening.

I assured Tordesillas that he could not have pleased me better than
by bringing this young man to me, who could probably communicate
tidings of the last importance.  I waited with impatience for the
entrance of my faithful Scipio, since I could not doubt him to be the
man; nor was I mistaken in my conjecture.  He was introduced at the
time appointed; and his joy, which only mine could equal, broke forth
into the most whimsical demonstrations.  On my side, in the ecstasy
of delight, I stretched out my arms to him, and he rushed into them
with no courtly, measured embrace.  All distinctions of master and
dependant were levelled in the sympathetic rapture of our meeting.

When our transports had subsided a little, I inquired into the state
of my household.  You have neither household nor house, answered he:
to spare you a long string of questions, I will sum up your worldly
concerns in two words.  Your property has been pillaged at both ends,
both by the banditti of the law and by your own retainers, who,
regarding you as a ruined man, paid themselves their own wages out of
whatever they found that was portable.  Luckily for you, I had the
dexterity to save from their harpy clutches two large bags of double
pistoles.  Salero, in whose custody I deposited them, will make
restitution on your release, which cannot be far distant, as you were
put upon his majesty's pension list of prisoners without the Duke of
Lerma's knowledge or consent.

I asked Scipio how he knew his excellency to have had no share in my
arrest.  You may depend on it, answered he, my information is
undeniable.  One of my friends in the Duke of Uzeda's confidence
acquainted me with all the circumstances of your imprisonment.
Calderona, having discovered by a spy that Signora Sirena, with the
handle of an alias to her name, was receiving night visits from the
Prince of Spain, and that the Count de Lemos managed that intrigue by
the pandarism of Signor de Santillane, determined to be revenged on
the whole knot.  To this end, he waited on the Duke of Uzeda, and
discovered the whole affair.  The duke, overjoyed at such a fine
opportunity of ruining his enemy, did not fail to bestir himself.  He
laid his information before the king, and painted the prince's danger
in the most lively colors.  His majesty was much angered, and showed
that he was so by sending Sirena to the nunnery provided for such
frail sisters, banishing the Count de Lemos, and condemning Gil Blas
to perpetual imprisonment.

This, pursued Scipio, is what my friend told me.  Hence you gather
your misfortune to be the Duke of Uzeda's handiwork, or rather
Calderona's.

Thus it seemed probable that my affairs might be reinstated in time;
that the Duke of Lerma, chagrined at his nephew's banishment, would
move heaven and earth for that nobleman's recall; and it might not be
too much to expect that his excellency would not forget me.  What a
delicate gypsy is hope!  She wheedled me out of all anxiety about my
shattered fortunes, and made me as light-hearted as if I had good
reason to be so.  My prison looked not like the dungeon of perpetual
misery, but like the vestibule to a more distinguished station.  For
thus run the train of my reasoning: Don Fernando Borgia, Father
Jerome of Florence, and more than all, Friar Louis of Aliaga, who may
thank him for his place about the king's person, are the prime
minister's partisans.  With the aid of such powerful friends, his
excellency will bear down all opposition, even supposing no change to
take place in the political barometer.  But his majesty's health is
very precarious.  The first act of a new reign would be to recall the
Count de Lemos; he would not feel himself at home in the young
monarch's presence till he had introduced me at court; and the young
monarch would not sit easy on his throne till he had showered
benefits on my head.  Thus, feasting by anticipation on the pleasures
of futurity, I became callous to existing evils.  The two bags, snug
in the goldsmith's custody, were no bad doubles to the part which
hope acted in this shifting pantomime.

It was impossible not to express my gratitude to Scipio for his zeal
and honesty.  I offered him half the salvage; but he rejected it.  I
expect, said he, a very different acknowledgment.  Astonished as much
at his mysterious claim as at his refusal, I asked what more I could
do for him.  Let us never part, answered he.  Allow me to link my
fate with yours.  I feel for you what I never felt for any other
master.  And on my part, my good fellow, said I, you may rest assured
that your attachment is not thrown away.  You caught my fancy at
first sight.  We must have been born under Libra or Gemini, where
friendship is lord of the ascendant.  I willingly accept your
proffered partnership, and will commence business by prevailing with
the warden to immure you along with me in this tower.  That is the
very thing, exclaimed he.  You were beforehand with me, for I was
just going to beg that favor.  Your company is dearer to me than
liberty itself.  I shall only just go to Madrid now and then, to
snuff the gale of the ministerial atmosphere, and try whether any
scent lies which may be favorable for your pursuit.  Thus will you
combine in me a bosom friend, a trusty messenger, and an unsuspected
spy.

These advantages were too important for me to forego them.  I
therefore kept so useful a person about me, with leave of the
obliging warden, who would not stand in the way of so soothing a
relief to the weariness of solitude.




_CHAPTER VIII._

_SCIPIO'S FIRST JOURNEY TO MADRID: ITS OBJECT AND SUCCESS.  GIL BLAS
FALLS SICK.  THE CONSEQUENCE OF HIS ILLNESS._

If it is a common proverb that our direst enemies are those of our
own household, the converse ought equally to be admitted among the
saws of a more candid experience.  After such incontestable proof of
Scipio's zeal, he became to me like another self.  All distinction of
place was confounded between Gil Blas and his secretary; all
insolence was dropped on the one hand, all cringing on the other.
Their lodging, bed, and board were in common.

Scipio's conversation was of a very lively turn; he might have been
dubbed the Spanish Momus, without any derogation to the Punch of the
Pantheon.  But he had a long head, as well as a fanciful brain,
combining the characters of counsellor and jester.  My friend, said
I, one day, what do you think of writing to the Duke of Lerma?  It
could, methinks, do no harm.  Why, as to that, answered he, the great
are such chameleons, that there is no knowing where to have them.  At
all events, you may risk it; though I would not lay the postage of
your letter on its success.  The minister loves you, it is true; but
then political love lacks memory as much as personal love lacks
visual discrimination.  Out of sight, out of mind! is at once the
motto and the stigma of these gentry.

True as this may be in the general, replied I, my patron is a
glorious exception.  His kindness lives in my recollection.  I am
persuaded that he suffers for my sufferings, and that they are
incessantly preying on his spirits.  We must give him credit for only
waiting till the king's anger shall pass away.  Be it so, resumed he;
I wish you may not reckon without your host.  Assail his excellency
then with an epistle to stir the waters.  I will engage to deliver it
into his own hands.  Pen, ink, and paper being brought, I composed a
specimen of eloquence which Scipio declared to be a paragon of
pathos, and Tordesillas preferred, for the cant of sermonizing
prolixity, to the old archbishop's homilies.

I flattered myself that there would be tears in the Duke of Lerma's
eyes, and distraction in his aspect, at the detail of miseries which
existed only on paper.  In that assurance, I despatched my messenger,
who no sooner got to Madrid, than he went to the minister's.  Meeting
with an old domestic of my acquaintance, he had no difficulty in
gaining access to the duke.  My lord, said Scipio to his excellency,
as he delivered the packet, one of your most devoted servants, lying
at his length on straw, in a damp and dreary dungeon at Segovia, most
humbly supplicates for the perusal of this letter, which a
tender-hearted turnkey has furnished him with the means of writing.
The minister opened the letter, and glanced over the contents.  But
though he found there a motive and a cue for passion enough to amaze
all his faculties at once, far from drowning the floor with briny
secretions, he cleaved the ear of his household, and smote the heart
of my courier with horrid speech: Friend, tell Santillane that he has
a great deal of impudence to address me, after so rank an offence,
worthily confronted by the severe sentence of the king.  Under that
sentence let the wretch drag out his days, nor look to my mediation
for a respite.

Scipio, though neither dull nor muddy-mettled, began to be unpregnant
of this defeated cause.  Yet he was not so pigeon-livered as to
retire without an effort in my favor.  My lord, replied he, this poor
prisoner will give up the ghost with grief at the recital of your
excellency's displeasure.  The duke answered like a prime minister,
with a supercilious corrugation of features, and a decisive
revolution of his front to some more prosperous suitor.  This he did
to cover his own share in the shame of pimping; and such treatment
must all those hireling scavengers expect, who rake in the filth and
ordure of rotten statesmen, courtiers, and politicians.

My secretary came back to Segovia, and delivered the result of his
mission.  And now behold me, sunk deeper than on the first day of my
imprisonment in the gulf of affliction and despair!  The Duke of
Lerma's turning king's evidence gave a hanging posture to my affairs.
My courage was run out; and though they did all they could to keep up
my spirits, the agitation and distress of my mind threw me into a
fever.

The warden, who took a lively interest in my recovery, fancying in
his unmedical head that physicians cured fevers, brought me a double
dose of death in two of that doleful deity's most practised
executioners.  Signor Gil Blas, said he, as he ushered in their
grisly forms, here are two godsons of Hippocrates, who are come to
feel your pulse, and to augment the number of their trophies in your
person.  I was so prejudiced against the whole faculty, that I should
certainly have given them a very discouraging reception, had life
retained its usual charms in my estimation; but being bent on my
departure from this vale of tears, I felt obliged to Tordesillas for
hastening my journey by a safer conveyance than the crime of suicide.

My good sir, said one of the pair, your recovery will, under
Providence, depend on your entire confidence in our skill.  Implicit
confidence! answered I: with your assistance, I am fully persuaded
that a few days will place me beyond the reach of fever, and all the
shocks that flesh is heir to.  Yes! with the blessing of heaven,
rejoined he, it is a consummation devoutly to be wished, and easily
to be effected.  At all events, our best endeavors shall not be
wanting.  And indeed it was no joke; for they got me into such fine
training for the other world, that few of my material particles were
left in this.  Already had Don Andrew, observing me fumble with the
sheets, and smile upon my fingers' ends, and thinking there was but
one way, sent for a Franciscan to show it me: already had the good
father, having mumbled over the salvation of my soul, retired to the
refection of his own body: and my own opinion leaned to the immediate
necessity of making a good end.  I beckoned Scipio to my bedside.  My
dear friend, said I, in the faint accents of a tortured and evacuated
patient, I give and bequeath to you one of the bags in Gabriel's
possession; the other you must carry to my father and mother in the
Asturias, who, if still living, must be in narrow circumstances.
But, alas!  I fear they have not been able to bear up against my
ingratitude.  Muscada's report of my unnatural behavior must have
brought their gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.  Should Heaven
have fortified their tender hearts against my indifference, you will
give them the bag of doubloons, with assurances of my dying remorse;
and, if they are no more, I charge you to lay out the money in masses
for the repose of their souls and of mine.  Then did I stretch out my
hand, which he bathed in silent tears.  It is not always true that
the mourning of an heir is mirth in masquerade.

For some hours I fancied myself outward-bound, and on the point of
sailing; but the wind changed.  My pilots having quitted the helm,
and left the vessel to the steerage of nature, the danger of
shipwreck disappeared.  The fever mutinying against its commanding
officers, gave all their prognostics the lie, and acted contrary to
general orders.  I got better by degrees, in mind as well as in body.
My consolation was all derived from within.  I looked at wealth and
honors with the eye of a dying anchorite, and blessed the malady
which restored my soul.  I abjured courts, politics, and the Duke of
Lerma.  If ever my prison doors were opened, it was my fixed resolve
to buy a cottage, and live like a philosopher.

My bosom friend applauded my design, and to further its execution,
undertook a second journey to solicit my release, by the intervention
of a clever girl about the person of the prince's nurse.  He
contended that a prison was a prison still, in spite of kind
indulgence and good cheer.  In this I agreed, and gave him leave to
depart, with a fervent prayer to Heaven that we might soon take
possession of our hermitage.




_CHAPTER IX._

_SCIPIO'S SECOND JOURNEY TO MADRID.  GIL BLAS IS SET AT LIBERTY ON
CERTAIN CONDITIONS.  THEIR DEPARTURE FROM THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA, AND
CONVERSATION ON THEIR JOURNEY._

While waiting for Scipio's return from Madrid, I began a course of
study.  Tordesillas furnished me with more books than I wanted.  He
borrowed them from an old officer who could not read, but had fitted
up a magnificent library, that he might pass for a man of learning.
Above all, I delighted in moral essays and treatises, because they
abounded in commonplaces, according with my antipathy to courts, and
philosophic relish of solitude.

Three weeks elapsed before I heard a syllable from my negotiator, who
returned at length with a cheerful countenance, and news to the
following effect: By the intercession of a hundred pistoles with the
chambermaid, and her intercession with her mistress, the Prince of
Spain has been prevailed with to plead for your enlargement with his
royal father.  I hastened hither to announce these happy tidings, and
must return immediately to put the last hand to my work.  With these
words he left me, and went back to court.

At the week's end my expeditious agent returned, with the
intelligence that the prince had procured my liberty, not without
some difficulty.  On the same day my generous keeper confirmed the
assurance in person, with the kindest congratulations, and the
following notice: Your prison doors are open, but on two conditions,
which I am sorry that my duty obliges me to announce, because they
will probably be disagreeable to you.  His majesty expressly forbids
you to show your face at court, or to be found within the limits of
the two Castiles on this day month.  I am extremely sorry that you
are interdicted from court.  And I am delighted at it, answered I.
Witness all the powers above!  I asked the king for only one favor;
he has granted me two.

With my liberty thus confirmed, I hired a couple of mules, on which
we mounted the next day, after taking leave of Cogollos, and thanking
Tordesillas a thousand times for all his instances of friendship.  We
set forward cheerfully on the road to Madrid, to draw our deposit out
of Signor Gabriel's hands, amounting to a thousand doubloons.  On the
road my fellow-traveller observed, If we are not rich enough to
purchase a splendid property, we can at least secure ease and
competency to ourselves.  A cabin, answered I, would be large enough
for my most ambitious thoughts.  Though scarcely at the middle period
of life, the world has lost its charms for me; its hopes, its fears,
its cares, its duties are all absorbed in the selfishness of
philosophical retirement.  Independently of these principles, I can
assure you I have painted for myself a rural landscape, with a
foreground of innocent pleasures, and pastoral simplicity in the
perspective.  Already does the enamel of the meadows glitter under my
eyes; already does the river's murmur accord with the winged chorus
of the grove: hunting exasperates the manly virtues, and fishing
preaches patience.  Only figure to yourself, my friend, what a
continual round of amusement solitude may furnish, and you will pant
to be admitted of her crew.  Then, for the economy of our table, the
simplest will be the cheapest, and of course the best.  Unadulterated
Ceres shall be our official caterer; when hunger shall have tamed our
fastidious appetites into sobriety, a mumbled crust will relish like
an ortolan.  The supreme delight of eating is not in the thing ate,
but in the palate of him who eats--a proposition in culinary
philosophy proved by the frequent loathing of my own stomach, through
a long series of ministerial dinners.  Abstemiousness is a luxury of
the most exquisite refinement, and the best recipe in the materia
medica.

With your good leave, Signor Gil Blas, interrupted my secretary, I am
not altogether of your mind respecting the luscious treat of
abstemiousness.  Why should we mess like the bankrupt sages of
antiquity?  Surely we may indulge the carnal man a little, without
any reasonable offence to the spiritual.  Since we have, by the
blessing of Providence and my forecast, wherewithal to keep the spit
and the spigot in exercise, do not let us take up our abode with
famine and wretchedness.  As soon as we get settled, we must stock
our cellar, and establish a respectable larder, like people who know
what is what, and do not separate themselves from the vulgar crowd to
renounce the good things of this life, but to taste them with a more
exquisite relish.  As Hesiod says,

  Enjoy thy riches with a liberal soul;
  Plenteous the feast, and smiling be the bowl.

And again,

  To stint the wine a frugal husband shows,
  When from the middle of the cask it flows.


What the devil, Master Scipio, interrupted I in my turn, you can cap
verses out of the Greek poets!  And pray where did you get acquainted
with Hesiod?  In very learned company, answered he.  I lived some
time with a walking dictionary at Salamanca, a fellow up to the
elbows in quotation and commentary.  He could put a large volume
together like a house of cards.  His library furnished him with a
hodge-podge of Hebrew, Greek, and Latin commonplaces, which he
translated into buckram Castilian.  As I was his transcriber, some
tags of verses, stings of epigrams, and sage truisms stuck by the
way.  With such an apparatus, replied I, your memory must be most
philosophically stocked.  But, not to lose sight of our future
prospects, whereabouts in Spain had we best fix our Socratic abode?
My voice is for Arragon, resumed my counsellor.  We shall there enjoy
all the beauties of nature, and lead the life of Paradise.  Well,
then, for Arragon, said I.  May it teem with all the dear delights
that youthful poets fancy when they dream!




_CHAPTER X._

_THEIR DOINGS AT MADRID.  THE RENCOUNTER OF GIL BLAS IN THE STREET,
AND ITS CONSEQUENCES._

On our arrival in Madrid, we alighted at a little public house where
Scipio had been accustomed to put up, whence our first visit was to
my banker, Salero.  He received us very cordially, and expressed the
highest satisfaction at my release.  Indeed, added he, your untoward
fate touched me so nearly as to change my views of a political
alliance.  The fortunes of courtiers are like castles in the air; so
I have married my daughter Gabriela to a wealthy trader.  You have
acted very wisely, answered I; for besides that a bird in the hand is
worth two in a bush, when a plodding citizen aspires to the honor of
bringing a man of fashion into his family, he very often has an
impertinent puppy for his son-in-law.

Then changing the topic, and coming to the point, Signor Gabriel,
pursued I, we came to talk a little about the two thousand pistoles
which ... Your money is all ready, said the goldsmith, interrupting
me.  He then took us into his closet, and delivered the two bags,
carefully labelled with my name on them.

I thanked Salero for his exactness, and heaven in my sleeve for my
escape from his daughter.  At our inn, we counted over the money, and
found it right, deducting fifty doubloons for the expenses of my
enlargement.  Our thoughts were now wholly bent upon Arragon.  My
secretary undertook to buy a carriage and two mules.  It was my
office to provide household and body linen.  During my peregrinations
for that purpose, I met Baron Steinbach, the officer in the German
Guards with whom Don Alphonso had been brought up.

I touched my hat to him; he knew me again, and returned my greeting
warmly.  My joy is extreme, said I, at seeing your lordship in such
fine health, to say nothing of my wish to inquire after Don Cæsar and
Don Alphonso de Leyva.  They are both in Madrid, answered he, and
staying at my house.  They came to town about three months ago, to be
presented on occasion of Don Alphonso's promotion.  He has been
appointed Governor of Valencia, on the score of old family claims,
without having in any shape pushed his interest at court.  Nothing
could be more grateful to his feelings, or prove more strongly our
royal master's goodness, who delights to recognize the merits of
ancestry in the persons of their descendants.

Though I knew more of this matter than Steinbach, I kept my knowledge
in the background.  Yet so lively was my impatience to hail my old
masters, that he would not damp my ardor by delay.  I had a mind to
try Don Alphonso, whether he still retained his regard for me.  He
was playing at chess with Baroness Steinbach.  On my entrance, he
started up from his game, ran towards me, and squeezing me tight in
his embrace, Santillane, said he, with demonstrations of the
sincerest joy, at length, then, you are restored to my heart.  I am
delighted at it!  It was not my fault that we ever parted.  You may
remember how strongly I urged you not to withdraw from the Castle of
Leyva.  You were deaf to my entreaties.  But I must not chide your
obstinacy, because its motive was the peace of the family.  Yet you
ought to have let me hear from you, and to have spared my fruitless
inquiries at Grenada, where my brother-in-law, Don Ferdinand, sent me
word that you were.

And now tell me what you are doing at Madrid.  Of course you have
some situation here.  Be assured that I shall always take a lively
interest in your concerns.  Sir, answered I, it is but four months
since I occupied a considerable post at court.  I had the honor of
being the Duke of Lerma's confidential secretary.  Can it be
possible? exclaimed Don Alphonso, as if he could scarcely believe his
ears.  What, were you so near the person of the prime minister?  I
then related how I had gained and lost his favor, and ended with
avowing my determination to buy a cottage and garden with the wreck
of my shattered fortunes.

The son of Don Cæsar heard me attentively, and made this answer: My
dear Gil Blas, you know how I have always loved you; nor shall you
longer be fortune's puppet.  I will set you above her vagaries, by
securing you an independence.  Since you declare for a country life,
a little estate of ours near Lirias, about four leagues from
Valencia, shall be settled on you.  You are acquainted with the spot.
Such a present we can make without putting ourselves to the least
inconvenience.  I can answer for my father's joining in the act, and
for Seraphina's entire approbation.

I threw myself at Don Alphonso's feet, who raised me immediately.
More penetrated by his affection than by his bounty, I pressed his
hand and said, Sir, your conduct charms me.  Your noble gift is the
more welcome, as it precedes the knowledge of a service it has been
in my power to render you; and I had rather owe it to your generosity
than to your gratitude.  This governor of my making did not know what
to understand by the hint, and pressed for an explanation.  I gave it
in full, to his utter astonishment.  Neither he nor Baron Steinbach
could ever have the slightest suspicion that the government of
Valencia was owing to my interest at court.  Yet, having no reason to
doubt the fact, my friend proposed to grant me an annuity of two
thousand ducats, in addition to the little farm at Lirias.

Hold your hand, Signor Don Alphonso, exclaimed I at this offer.  You
must not set my avarice afloat again.  I am myself a living witness,
that fortune may give superfluities to her favorites, but has no
competence to bestow.  With pleasure will I accept of the estate at
Lirias, where my present property will be sufficient for all my
wants.  Rather than increase my cares with my possessions, I would
build a hospital out of my existing funds.  Riches are a burden; and
it must be a foolish animal that would bear fardels in the manger or
the field.

While we were talking after this fashion, Don Cæsar came in.  His joy
was not less than his son's at the sight of me; and being informed of
the family obligations, he again pressed me to accept of the annuity,
which I again refused.  When the writings were drawn, the father and
son made the assignment their joint act and deed, transferring to me
the fee simple, and putting me in immediate possession.  My secretary
half stared the eyes out of his head when I told him we had a landed
estate of our own, and how we came by it.  What is the value of this
little freehold? says he.  Five hundred ducats per annum, answered I;
and the farm in high cultivation, within a ring fence.  I have often
been there during my stewardship.  There is a small house on the
banks of the Guadalaviar, in a little hamlet, surrounded by a
charming country.

What pleases me better than all, cried Scipio, is, that we shall have
plenty of sporting, rare living, and excellent wine.  Come, master,
let us leave this crowded city, and hasten to our hermitage.  I long
to be there as much as you can do, answered I; but I must first go to
the Asturias.  My father and mother are not in comfortable
circumstances.  They shall therefore end their days with me at
Lirias.  Heaven, perhaps, has thrown this windfall in my way to try
my filial duty, and would punish me for the neglect of it.  Scipio
approved my purpose, and urged its speedy execution.  Yes, my friend,
said I, we will set out as soon as possible.  I shall consider it as
my dear delight to share the gifts of fortune with the authors of my
existence.  We shall soon be settled in our country retreat; and then
will I write these two Latin verses over the door of my farmhouse, in
letters of gold, for the pious edification of my rustic neighbors:--

    Inveni portum.  Spes et fortuna, valete.
  Sat me lusistis; ludite nunc alios.




BOOK THE TENTH.



_CHAPTER I._

_GIL BLAS SETS OUT FOR THE ASTURIAS, AND PASSES THROUGH VALLADOLID,
WHERE HE GOES TO SEE HIS OLD MASTER, DOCTOR SANGRADO.  BY ACCIDENT,
HE COMES ACROSS SIGNOR MANUEL ORDONNEZ, GOVERNOR OF THE HOSPITAL._

Just as I was arranging matters to take my departure from Madrid, and
go with Scipio to the Asturias, Paul V. gave the Duke of Lerma a
cardinal's hat.  This pope, wishing to establish the inquisition in
the kingdom of Naples, invested the minister with the purple, and by
that means hoped to bring King Philip over to so pious and
praiseworthy a design.  Those who were best acquainted with this new
member of the sacred college, thought, much like myself, that the
church was in a fair way for apostolical purity, after so ghostly an
acquisition.

Scipio, who would have liked better to see me once more blazing at
court, than either cloistered or rusticated, advised me to show my
face at the cardinal's audience.  Perhaps, said he, his eminence,
finding you at large by the king's order, may think it unnecessary to
affect any further displeasure against you, and may even reinstate
you in his service.  My good friend Scipio, answered I, you seem to
forget that my liberty was granted only on condition of making myself
scarce in the two Castiles.  Besides, can you suppose me so soon
inclined to become an absentee from my domain of Lirias?  I have told
you before, and I tell it you once again, Though the Duke of Lerma
should restore me to his good graces, though he should even offer me
Don Rodrigo de Calderona's place, I would refuse it.  My resolution
is taken: I mean to go and find out my parents at Oviedo, and carry
them with me to Valencia.  As for you, my good fellow, if you repent
of having linked your fate with mine, you have only to say so; I am
ready to give you half of my ready money, and you may stay at Madrid,
where fortune puts on her kindest smiles to those who woo her lustily.

What, then, replied my secretary, a little affected by these words,
can you suspect me of any unwillingness to follow you into your
retreat?  The very idea is an injury to my zeal and my attachment.
What, Scipio! that faithful appendage, who would willingly have
passed the remnant of his days with you in the tower of Segovia,
rather than abandon you to your wretched fate, can he feel sorrowful
at the prospect of an abode where a thousand rural delights are
waiting to smile on his arrival?  No, no, I have not a wish to turn
you aside from your resolution.  Nor can I refrain from owning my
malicious drift; when I advised you to show your face at the Duke of
Lerma's audience, it was for the purpose of ascertaining whether any
seedlings of ambition were scattered among the fallows of your
philosophy.  Since that point is settled, and you are mortified to
all the pomps and vanities of the world, let us make the best of our
way from court, to go and suck in with Zephyrus and Flora the
innocent, delicious pleasures so luxuriant in the nursery of our
imaginations.

In fact, we soon afterwards took our departure together, in a chaise
drawn by two good mules, driven by a postilion whom I had added to my
establishment.  We stopped the first day at Alcala de Henarès, and
the second at Segovia, whence, without stopping to see our generous
warden, Tordesillas, we went forward to Penafiel on the Duero, and
the next day to Valladolid.  At sight of this large town, I could not
help fetching a deep sigh.  My companion, surprised at that
conscientious ventilation, inquired the reason of it.  My good
fellow, said I, it is because I practised medicine here for a long
time.  It gives me the horrors, even now, to think of my unexpiated
murders.  The whole list of killed and wounded are mustered in battle
array yonder: the tomb and the hospital yawn with their disgorged
inhabitants, who are rushing on to tear me piecemeal, and exact the
vengeance due to the drenched crew.  What a dreadful fancy! said my
secretary.  In truth, Signor de Santillane, your nature is too
tender.  Why should you be shocked at the common course of exchange
in your branch of trade?  Look at all the oldest physicians: their
withers are unwrung.  What can exceed the self-complacency with which
they view the exits of patients, and the entrances of diseases?
Natural constitution bears the brunt of all their failures, and
medical infallibility takes the credit of lucky accidents.

It is very true, replied I, that Doctor Sangrado, on whose practice I
formed myself, was like the rest of the old physicians in point of
self-complacency.  It was to little purpose that twenty people in a
day yielded to his prowess: he was so persuaded that bleeding in the
arm and copious libations of warm water were specifics for every
case, that instead of doubting whether the death of his patients
might not possibly invalidate the efficacy of his prescriptions, he
ascribed the result to a vacillating compliance with his system.  By
all the powers! cried Scipio with a burst of laughter, you open to me
an incomparable character.  If you have any curiosity to be better
acquainted with him, said I, it may be gratified to-morrow, should
Sangrado be still living, and resident at Valladolid: but it is
highly improbable; for he had one foot in the grave when I left him
several years ago.  Our first care, on putting up at the inn, was to
inquire after this doctor.  We were told that he was not dead; but,
being incapacitated by age from paying visits or any other vigorous
exertions, he had been superseded by three or four other doctors who
had risen into repute by a new practice, accomplishing the same end
by different means.  We determined on lying by for a day at
Valladolid, as well to rest our mules as to call on Signor Sangrado.
About ten o'clock next morning we knocked at his door, and found him
sitting in his elbow-chair, with a book in his hand.  He rose on our
entrance, advanced to meet us with a firm step for a man of seventy,
and begged to know our business.  My worthy and approved good master,
said I, have you lost all recollection of an old pupil?  There was
formerly one Gil Blas, as you may remember, a boarder in your house,
and for some time your deputy.  What! is it you, Santillane? answered
he, with a cordial embrace.  I should not have known you again.  It,
however, gives me great pleasure to see you once more.  What have you
been doing since we parted?  Doubtless you have made medicine your
profession.  It was very strongly my inclination so to do, replied I;
but imperious circumstances made me reluctantly abandon so
illustrious a calling.

So much the worse, rejoined Sangrado: with the principles you sucked
in under my tuition, you would have become a physician of the first
skill and eminence, with the guiding influence of heaven to defend
you from the dangerous allurements of chemistry.  Ah, my son! pursued
he with a mournful air, what a change in practice within these few
years!  The whole honor and dignity of the art is compromised.  That
mystery by whose inscrutable decrees the lives of men have in all
ages been determined, is now laid open to the rude, untutored gaze of
blockheads, novices, and mountebanks.  Facts are stubborn things; and
ere long the very stones will cry aloud against the rascality of
these new practitioners: _lapides clamabunt!_  Why, sir, there are
fellows in this town, calling themselves physicians, who drag their
degraded persons at the _currus triumphalis antimonii_, or, as it
should properly be translated, the cart's tail of antimony.
Apostates from the faith of Paracelsus, idolaters of filthy _kermes_,
healers at haphazard, who make all the science of medicine to consist
in the preparation and prescription of drugs!  What a change have I
to announce to you!  There is not one stone left upon another in the
whole structure which our great predecessors had raised.  Bleeding in
the feet, for example, so rarely practised in better times, is now
among the fashionable follies of the day.  That gentle, civilized
system of evacuation, which prevailed under my auspices, is subverted
by the reign of anarchy and emetics, of quackery and poison.  In
short, chaos is come again!  Every one orders what seems good in his
own eyes; there is no deference to the authority of ancient wisdom;
our masters are laid upon the shelf, and their axioms not one tittle
the more regarded for being delivered in languages as defunct as the
subjects of their application.

However desirable it might seem to laugh at so whimsical a
declamation, I had the good manners to resist the impulse; and not
only that, but to inveigh bitterly against _kermes_, without knowing
whether it was a vegetable or an animal, and to pour forth a
commination of curses against the authors and inventors of so
diabolical an engine.  Scipio, observing my by-play in this scene,
had a mind to come in for his share in the banter.  Most venerable
prop of the true practice, said he to Sangrado, as I am descended in
the third generation from a physician of the old school, give me
leave to join you in your philippic against chemical conspiracies.
My late illustrious progenitor--heaven forgive him all his sins!--was
so warm a partisan of Hippocrates, that he often came to blows with
ignorant pretenders, who vomited forth blasphemies against that high
priest of the faculty.  What is bred in the bone will not come out of
the flesh: I could willingly inflict tortures and death with my own
hands on those rash innovators whose daring enormities you have
characterized with such accuracy of discrimination and such force of
language.  When wretches like these gain an ascendency in civilized
society, can we wonder at the disjointed condition of the world?

The times are even more out of joint than you are aware of, said the
doctor.  My book against the vanities and delusions of the new
practice might as well have fallen still-born from the press; it
seems, if anything, to have acted by contraries, and to have
exasperated heresy.  The apothecaries, like the Titans of old,
heaping potion upon pill, and invading the Olympus of medicine, think
themselves fully qualified to usurp and maintain the throne, now that
it is only thought necessary to set open the doors, and to drive the
enemy out at the portal or the postern by main force.  They go to the
length of infusing their deadly drugs into apozems and cordials, and
then set themselves up against the most eminent of the fraternity.
This contagion has spread its influence even among the cloisters.
There are monks in our convents who unite surgery and pharmacy to the
labors of the confessional.  These medical baboons are always dipping
their paws into chemistry, and inventing compositions strong enough
to lay a scene of ecclesiastical mortality in the temperate abodes of
peace and religion.  Now, there are in Valladolid above sixty
religious houses for both sexes: judge what ravage must have been
made there by unmerciful pumping and the lancet misapplied.  Signor
Sangrado, said I, you are perfectly in the right to give these
poisoners no quarter.  I utter groan for groan with you, and heave
the philanthropic sigh over the invaded lives of our
fellow-creatures, sinking under the fell attack of so heterodox a
practice.  It fills me with horror to think what a dead weight
chemistry may one day be to medicine, just as adulterated coin
operates on national credit.  Far be that evil day from this
generation.

Just at this climax of our discourse, in came an old female servant,
with a salver for the doctor, on which were a little light roll and a
glass with two decanters, the one filled with water and the other
with wine.  After he had eaten a slice, he washed it down with a
diluted beverage, two parts water to one of wine; but this temperate
use of the good creature did not at all save him from the acrimony of
my ridicule.  So so, good master doctor, said I, you are fairly
caught in the fact.  You a wine-bibber? you, who have entered the
lists like a knight-errant against that unauthenticated fermentation?
you, who reached your grand climacteric on the strength of the pure
element?  How long have you been so at odds with yourself?  Your time
of life can be no excuse for the alteration? since, in one passage of
your writings, you define old age to be a natural consumption, which
withers and attenuates the system; and as an inference from that
position, you reprobate the ignorance of those writers who dignify
wine with the appellation of old men's milk.  What can you say,
therefore, in your own defence?

You belabor me most unjustly, answered the old physician.  If I drank
neat wine, you would have a right to treat me as a deserter from my
own standard; but your eyes may convince you that my wine is well
mixed.  Another heresy, my dear apostle of the wells and fountains!
replied I.  Recollect how you rated the canon Sedillo for drinking
wine, though plentifully dashed with the salubrious fluid.  Own
modestly and candidly that your theory was unfounded and fanciful,
and that wine is not a poisonous liquor, as you have so falsely and
scandalously libelled it in your works, any further than, like any
other of nature's bounties, it may be abused to excess.

This lecture sat rather uneasily on our doctor's feelings as a
candidate for consistency.  He could not deny his inveteracy against
the use of wine in all his publications; but pride and vanity not
allowing him to acknowledge the justice of my attack on his apostasy,
he was left without a word to say for himself.  Not wishing to push
my sarcasm beyond the bounds of good humor, I changed the subject;
and after a few minutes' longer stay, took my leave, gravely
exhorting him to maintain his ground against the new practitioners.
Courage, Signor Sangrado! said I: never be weary of setting your wits
against _kermes_; and deafen the health-dispensing tribe with your
thunders against the use of bleeding in the feet.  If, spite of all
your zeal and affection for medical orthodoxy, this empiric
generation should succeed in supplanting true and legitimate
practice, it will be at least your consolation to have exhausted your
best endeavors in the support of truth and reason.

As my secretary and myself were walking to the inn, making our
observations in high glee on the doctor's entertaining and original
character, a man from fifty-five to sixty years of age happened to
pass near us in the street, walking with his eyes fixed on the
ground, and a large rosary in his hand.  I conned over the
distinctive cut of his appearance most cunningly, and was rewarded in
the recognition of Signor Manuel Ordonnez, that faithful trustee for
the affairs of the hospital, of whom so honorable mention is made in
the first volume of these true and instructive memoirs.  Accosting
him with the most profound and unquestionable tokens of respect, I
paid my compliments in due form and order to the venerable and
trustworthy Signor Manuel Ordonnez, the man of all the world in whose
hands the interests of the poor and needy are most safely and
beneficially placed.  At these words he looked me steadfastly in the
face, and answered that my features were not altogether strange to
him, but that he could not recollect where he had seen me.  I used to
go backwards and forwards to your house, replied I, when one of my
friends, by name Fabricio Nunez, was in your service.  Ah!  I
recollect the circumstance at once, rejoined the worthy director with
a cunning leer, and have good reason to do so; for you were a brace
of pleasant lads, and were by no means backward in the little
scape-grace tricks of youth and inexperience.  Well! and what is
become of poor Fabricio?  Whenever he comes across my thoughts, I
cannot help feeling a little uneasy about his temporal and eternal
welfare.

It was to relieve your mind upon that subject, said I to Signor
Manuel, that I have taken the liberty of stopping you in the street.
Fabricio is settled at Madrid, where he employs himself in publishing
miscellanies and collections.  What do you mean by miscellanies and
collections? replied he.  I mean, resumed I, that he writes in verse
and prose, from epic poems and the highest branches of philosophy,
down to plays, novels, epigrams, and riddles.  In short, he is a lad
of universal genius, and most exemplary benevolence; sometimes
modestly taking to himself the credit of his own compositions, and
sometimes lending out his talents to the literary ambition of those
noblemen who write for their own amusement, but wish their names to
be concealed, except from a chosen circle.  By traffic like this, he
sits at the very first tables.  But how does he sit at his own? said
the director; upon what terms does he live with his baker?  Not quite
so confidentially as with people of fashion, answered I; for, between
ourselves, I take him to be quite as much out at elbows as ever Job
was.  More bonds and judgments against him than ever Job had, take my
word for it! replied Ordonnez.  Let him lick the spittle of his
titled friends and patrons, till his stomach heaves at the nauseating
saliva; his printed dedications and his oral flattery, in spite of
all the cringing and all the toad-eating which constitute the stock
in trade of his profession, with all the profits of his works,
whether by subscription or ordinary publication, will not bring grist
enough to his mill to keep hunger from the door.  Mind if what I say
does not turn out to be true!  He will come to the dogs at last.

Nothing more likely, replied I; for he cohabits with the muses
already, and many a plain man has found to his cost, that there is no
keeping company with the sisters without being worried by their
bullying brethren.  My friend Fabricio would have done much better by
remaining quietly with your lordship; he would now have been lying on
a bed of roses, and everything he had touched would have turned to
gold.  He would at least have been in a very snug berth, said Manuel.
He was a great favorite of mine; and I meant, by a regular gradation
from subaltern to principal situations, to have established him in
ease and affluence on the basis of public charity; but the foolish
fellow took it into his head to set up for a wit.  He wrote a play,
and brought it out at the theatre in this town: the piece went off
tolerably well, and nothing thenceforth would serve his turn but
commencing author by profession.  Lope de Vega, in his estimation,
was but a type of him: preferring, therefore, the intoxicating vapor
of public applause to the plain roast and boiled of this substantial
ordinary, he came to me for his discharge.  It was to no purpose for
me to argue the point, or to prove to him what a silly cur he was, to
drop the bone and run after the shadow: the mad blockhead was so
suffocated by the smother of authorship, that the instinctive dread
of fire could not rouse his alacrity to escape burning.  In short, he
was miserably unconscious of his own interest, as his successor can
testify; for he, possessing practical good sense, though without half
Fabricio's quickness and versatility, makes it his whole study and
delight to go through his business in a workman-like manner, and to
fall in with all my little ways.  In return for such good conduct, I
pushed him forward in a manner corresponding with his deserts; and he
unites in his own person, even at this time of day, two offices in
the hospital, the least lucrative of which would be more than
sufficient to place any honest man at his ease, though encumbered
with a yearly teeming wife.




_CHAPTER II._

_GIL BLAS CONTINUES HIS JOURNEY, AND ARRIVES IN SAFETY AT OVIEDO.
THE CONDITION OF HIS FAMILY.  HIS FATHER'S DEATH, AND ITS
CONSEQUENCES._

From Valladolid we got to Oviedo in four days, without any untoward
accident on the road, in spite of the proverb which says that robbers
lay their ears to the ground when pilgrims are going with rich
offerings, and traders are riding with fat purses.  It would have
been a feasible as well as a tempting speculation.  Two tenants of a
subterraneous abode might have presented an aspect to have frightened
our doubloons into a surrender; for courage was not one of the
qualities I had imbibed at court; and Bertrand, my mule-driver,
seemed not to be of a temper to get his brains blown out in defending
a purse into which he had no free ingress.  Scipio was the only one
of the party who was anything of a bully.

It was night when we came into town.  Our lodgings were at an inn
near my uncle, Gil Perez, the canon.  I was very desirous of
ascertaining the circumstances of my parents before my first
interview with them; and, in order to gain that information, it was
impossible to make my inquiries in a better channel than through my
landlord and landlady, into the lines of whose faces you could not
look without being satisfied that they knew every tittle of their
neighbors' concerns.  As it turned out, the landlord kenned me after
a diligent perusal of my features, and cried out, By Saint Antony of
Padua! this is the son of the honest usher, Blas of Santillane.  Ay,
indeed! said the hostess; and so it is, without a single muscle
altered! just for all the world that same little stripling Gil Blas,
of whom we used to say that he was as saucy as he was high.  It
brings old times to my memory, when he used to come hither with his
bottle under his arm, to fetch wine for his uncle's supper.

Madam, said I, you have a most inveterate memory; but for goodness'
sake change the subject, and tell me the modern news of my family.
My father and mother are doubtless in no very enviable situation.  In
good truth, you may say that, answered the landlady; you may rack
your brains as long as you like, but you will never think of anything
half so miserable as what they are suffering at this present moment.
Gil Perez, good soul! is defunct all down one side by a stroke of the
palsy, and the other half of him is little better than a corpse; we
cannot expect him to last long: then your father, who went to live
with his reverence a little while ago, is troubled with an
inflammation of the lungs, and is standing, as a body may say,
quavery-mavery between life and death; while your mother, who is not
over and above hale and hearty herself, is obliged to nurse them both.

[Illustration: Gil Blas at Gil Perez's bedside]

On this intelligence, which made me feel some compunctious yearnings
of nature, I left Bertrand with my stud and baggage at the inn: then,
with my secretary at my heels, who would not desert me in my time of
need, I repaired to my uncle's house.  The moment I came within my
mother's reach, a natural emotion of maternal instinct unfolded to
her who I was, before her eyes could possibly have run over the
traces of my countenance.  Son, said she, with a melancholy
expression, after having embraced me, come and be present at your
father's death; your visit is just in time to take in all the piteous
circumstances of so deplorable an event.  With this heart-rending
reception, she led me by the hand into a chamber where the wretched
Blas of Santillane, stretched on a comfortless bed, in cold and
dismal accord with the thinness of his fortunes, was just entering on
the last great act of human nature.  Though surrounded by the shades
of death, he was not quite unconscious of what was passing about him.
My dearest friend, said my mother, here is your son Gil Blas, who
entreats your forgiveness for all his undutiful behavior, and is come
to ask your blessing before you die.  At these tidings my father
opened his eyes, which were on the point of closing forever: he fixed
them upon me, and reading in my countenance, notwithstanding the
awful brink on which he stood, that I was a sincere mourner for his
loss, his feelings were recalled to sympathy by my sorrow.  He even
made an attempt to speak, but his strength was too much exhausted.  I
took one of his hands in mine, and while I bathed it with my tears,
in speechless agony of soul, he breathed his last, as if he had only
waited my arrival to pay the debt of nature, and wing his way to
scenes of untried being.

This event had been too long present to my mother's mind to overwhelm
her with any unparalleled affliction.  Perhaps it sat more heavily on
me than on her, though my father had never in his life given me any
reason to feel for him as a father.  But besides that mere filial
instinct would have made me weep over his cold remains, I reproached
myself with not having contributed to the comfort of his latter days;
then, when I considered what a hard-hearted villain I had been, I
seemed to myself like a monster of ingratitude, or rather like an
impious parricide.  My uncle, whom I afterwards saw lying at his
length on another wretched couch, and in a most lamentable pickle,
made me experience fresh agonies of upbraiding conscience.  Unnatural
son! said I, communing with my own uneasy thoughts, behold the
chastisement of heaven upon thy sins in the disconsolate condition of
thy nearest relations.  Hadst thou but thrown to them the superflux
of that abundance in which before thy imprisonment thou rolledst,
thou mightest have procured for them those little comforts which thy
uncle's ecclesiastical pittance was too scanty to furnish, and
perhaps have lengthened out the term of thy father's life.

Gil Perez had fallen into a state of second childhood, and was,
though numerically upon the list of the living, in every individual
organ a mere corpse.  His memory, nay, his very senses had retired
from their allotted stations in his system.  Bootless was it for me
to strain him in my pious arms, and lavish outward tokens of
affection on him: they might as well have been wasted on the desert
air.  To as little purpose did my mother ring in his unnerved ear,
that I was his nephew Gil Blas; he gazed at me with a vacant, stupid
stare, and gave neither sign nor answer.  Had the ties of
consanguinity and gratitude been all too weak to awaken my tender
sympathy for an uncle to whom I owed the means of my first launch
into the world, the impression of helpless dotage on my senses must
have softened me into something like the counterfeit of virtuous
emotion.

While this scene was passing, Scipio preserved a melancholy silence,
sharing in all my sorrows, and mingling his sighs with mine in the
chastised luxury of friendship.  But concluding that my mother, after
so long an absence, might wish to have some such conversation with me
as the presence of a stranger must rather repress than promote, I
drew him aside, saying, Go, my good fellow, sit down quietly at the
inn, and leave me here with my only surviving parent, who might
consider your company as an intrusion, while talking over family
affairs.  Scipio withdrew, for fear of being a clog upon our
confidence, and I sat down with my mother to an interchange of
communication which lasted all night.  We reciprocally gave a
faithful account of all that had happened to each of us since my
first sally from Oviedo.  She related in full measure and running
over all the petty insults, disappointments, and mortifications which
she had undergone in her pilgrimage from house to house as a duenna.
A great number of these little anecdotes it would have hurt my pride
that my secretary should have noted down in his biographical budget,
though I had never concealed from him the ups and downs in the
lottery of my own life.  With all the respect I owe to my mother's
sainted memory, the good lady had not the knack of going the shortest
road to the end of a story; had she but pruned her own memoirs of all
luxuriant circumstances, there would not have been materials for more
than a tithe of her narrative.

At length she got to the end of her tether, and I began my career.
With respect to my general adventures, I passed them over lightly;
but when I came to speak of the visit which the son of Bertrand
Muscada, the grocer of Oviedo, had paid me at Madrid, I enlarged with
decent compunction on that dark article in the history of my life.  I
must frankly own, said I to my mother, that I gave that young fellow
a very bad reception; and he, doubtless, in revenge, must have drawn
a hideous outline of my moral features.  He did you more than
justice, I trust, answered she; for he told us that he found you so
puffed and swollen with the good fortune thrust upon you by the prime
minister, as scarcely to acknowledge him among your former
acquaintance; and, when he gave you a moving description of our
miseries, you listened as if you had no interest in the tale, or
knowledge of the parties.  But as fathers and mothers can always find
some clew for palliation in the conduct of their graceless children,
we were loath to believe that you had so bad a heart.  Your arrival
at Oviedo justifies our favorable interpretation, and those tears
which are now flowing down your cheeks are so many pledges either of
your innocence or your reformation.

Your constructions were too partial, replied I; there was a great
deal of truth in young Muscada's report.  When he came to see me, all
my faculties were engrossed by vanity and mammon; ambition, the
prevailing devil which possessed me, left not a thought to throw away
on the desolate condition of my parents.  It, therefore, could be no
wonder if in such a disposition of mind I gave rather a freezing
reception to a man, who, accosting me in a peremptory style, took
upon him to say, without mincing the matter, that it was well known I
was as rich as a Jew, and therefore he advised me to send you a good
round sum, seeing that you were very much put to your shifts: nay, he
went so far as to reproach me, in phrase of more sincerity than good
manners, with my unfeeling negligence of my family.  His confounded
personality stuck in my throat; so that, losing my little stock of
patience, I shoved him fairly by the shoulders out of my closet.  It
must be confessed that I took the administration of justice a little
too much into my own hands, being judge and party in the same cause;
neither was it proper that you should bear the brunt, because the
grocer was a little anti-saccharine in his phraseology; nor was his
advice the less pertinent or just, though couched in homely terms, or
urged with plodding vulgarity.

All this came plump in the teeth of my conscience the moment I had
turned Muscada out of doors.  The voice of natural instinct contrived
to make its way; my duty to my parents brought the blood into my
face; but it was the blush of shame for its neglect, and not the glow
of triumph at its performance.  Yet even my remorse can give me
little credit in your eyes, since it was soon stifled in the fumes of
avarice and ambition.  But some time afterwards, having been safely
lodged in the tower of Segovia by royal mandate, I fell dangerously
ill there; and that timely remembrancer was the cause of bringing
back your son to you.  So true is it that sickness and imprisonment
were my best moral tutors; for they enabled nature to resume her
rights, and weaned me effectually from the court.  Henceforth, all my
dear delight is in solitude; and my only business in the Asturias is
to entreat that you would share with me in the mild pleasures of a
retired life.  If you reject not my earnest petition, I will attend
you to an estate of mine in the kingdom of Valencia, and we will live
there together very comfortably.  You are, of course, aware that I
intended to take my father thither also; but since heaven has
ordained it otherwise, let me at least have the satisfaction of
affording an asylum to my mother, and making amends by all the
attentions in my power for the fallow seasons in the former harvest
of my filial duty.

I accept your kind intentions in very good part, said my mother, and
would take the journey without hesitation if I saw no obstacles in
the way.  But to desert your uncle in his present condition would be
unpardonable; and I am too much accustomed to this part of the
country to like living elsewhere: nevertheless, as the proposal
deserves to be maturely weighed, I will consider further of it at my
leisure.  At present your father's funeral requires to be ordered and
arranged.  As for that, said I, we will leave it to the care of the
young man whom you saw with me; he is my secretary, with as clever a
head and as good a heart as you have often been acquainted with; let
the business rest with him; it cannot be in better hands.

Hardly had I pronounced these words when Scipio came back; for it was
already broad day.  He inquired whether he could be of any service in
our present distresses.  I answered that he was come just in time to
receive some very important directions.  As soon as he was made
acquainted with the business in hand, A word to the wise, said he:
the whole procession, with its appropriate heraldry, is already
marshalled in this head of mine; you may trust me for a very pretty
funeral.  Have a care, said my mother, to make it plain and decent,
without anything like pomp or parade.  It can scarcely be too humble
for my husband, whom all the town knows to have been low in rank and
indigent in circumstances.  Madam, replied Scipio, though he had been
the meanest and most destitute of the human race, I would not bate
one button in the array of his posthumous honors.  My master's credit
is at stake in the proper conduct of the ceremony; he has been in an
ostensible situation under the Duke of Lerma, and his father ought to
be buried with all the forms of state and nobility.

I thought exactly as my secretary did upon the subject, and even went
so far as to bid him spare no expense on the occasion.  A little
leaven of vanity still fermented in the mass of my philosophy, and
rose in my bosom with all the effervescence of its original
lightness.  I flattered myself that by lavishing posthumous honors on
a father who had blessed the day of his decease by no lucrative
bequest, I should instil into the conceptions of the bystanders a
high sense of my generous nature.  My mother, on her part, whatever
airs of humility she might put on, had no dislike to seeing her
husband carried out with due observance of funeral pomp and ceremony.
We therefore left Scipio to do just as he pleased; and he, without a
moment's delay, adopted all the necessary measures for the display of
the undertaker's liveliest fancy.

The genius of that artist was called forth but too successfully.  His
emblems, devices, and draperies were so ostentatious as to disgust
instead of cajoling the natives: every individual, whether of the
town or the suburbs, whether high or low, rich or poor, felt shocked
and insulted by this after-thought parade.  This ministerial beggar
on horseback, said one, can put his hand into his pocket for his
father's funeral baked meats, but never found in his heart
wherewithal to furnish his living table with common necessaries.  It
would have been much more to the purpose, said another, to have made
the old gentleman's latter days comfortable, than to have wasted such
thriftless sums on a post-obit act of filial munificence.  In short,
quips of the brain and peltings of the tongue pattered round our
execrated heads.  It would have been well had the storm been only a
whirlwind of passion, or hurricane of words; but we were all, Scipio,
Bertrand, and myself, corporally admonished of our misdeeds on our
coming out of church; they abused us like pickpockets, made mouths
and odious noises as we passed, and followed Bertrand at his heels to
the inn with a copious volley of stones and mud.  To disperse the mob
which had collected before my uncle's house, my mother was obliged to
show herself at the window, and to declare publicly that she was
thoroughly satisfied with my proceedings.  Another detachment had
filed off to the stable-yard where my carriage stood, in the full
determination of breaking it to pieces; and this they would
inevitably have done, if the landlord and landlady had not found some
means of quieting their perturbed spirits, and turning them aside
from their outrageous purpose.

All these affronts, so revolting to my dignity, the effect of the
tales which the young grocer had been spreading about town, inspired
me with such a thorough hatred for my native place, that I determined
on quitting Oviedo almost immediately, though but for this bustle I
might have made it my residence for some time.  I announced my
intention, with the reasons of it, to my mother, who, considering my
uncouth reception as no very flattering compliment to herself, did
not urge my longer stay among people so little inclined to treat me
civilly.  The only point remaining now to be discussed was her future
destiny and provision.  My dear mother, said I, since my uncle stands
so much in need of your attendance, I will no longer urge you to go
along with me; but, as his days seem likely to be very few on earth,
you must promise to come and take up your abode with me at my farm as
soon as the last duties are performed to his honored remains.

I shall make no such promise, answered my mother, for I mean to pass
the remnant of my days in the Asturias, and in a state of perfect
independence.  Will you not on all occasions, replied I, be absolute
mistress in my household?  May be so, and may be not, rejoined she:
you have only to fall in love with some flirt of a girl, and then you
will marry: then she will be my daughter-in-law, and I shall be her
step-mother; and then we shall live together as step-mothers and
daughters-in-law usually do.  Your prognostics, said I, are fetched
from a great distance.  I have not at present the most remote
intention of entering into the happy state; but even though such a
whim should take possession of my brain, I will pledge myself for
instructing my wife betimes in an implicit submission to your will
and pleasure.  That is giving security without the means of making
good your contract, replied my mother; you would scarcely be able to
justify bail.  I would not even swear that, in our sparring-matches,
you might not take your wife's part in preference to mine, however
ill she might behave, or however unreasonably she might argue.

You talk very excellent sense, madam, cried my secretary, coming in
for his share of the conversation; I think just as you do, that
docility is about as much the virtue of a donkey as of a
daughter-in-law.  As the matter stands, that there may be no
difference of opinion between my master and you, since you are
absolutely determined to live asunder, you in the Asturias, and he in
the kingdom of Valencia, he must allow you an annuity of a hundred
pistoles, and send me hither every year for the payment.  By thus
arranging matters, mother and son will be very good friends, with an
interval of two hundred leagues between them.  The parties concerned
fell in at once with the proposal: I paid the first year in advance,
and stole out of Oviedo the next morning before dawn, for fear of
vying with Saint Stephen in popular favor.  Such were the charms of
my return to my native place.  An admirable lesson this, for those
successful upstarts, who, having gone abroad to make their fortunes,
come home to be the purse-proud tyrants of their birthplace.




_CHAPTER III._

_GIL BLAS SETS OUT FOR VALENCIA, AND ARRIVES AT LIRIAS; DESCRIPTION
OF HIS SEAT; THE PARTICULARS OF HIS RECEPTION, AND THE CHARACTERS OF
THE INHABITANTS HE FOUND THERE._

We took the road for Leon, afterwards that of Valencia; and,
continuing our journey by short stages, arrived on the evening of the
tenth day at the town of Segorba, whence early on the morrow we
repaired to my seat, at the distance of very little more than three
leagues.  In proportion as we approached nearer, it was amusing to
see with what a longing eye my secretary looked at all the estates
which lay in our way, to the right and left of the road.  Whenever he
caught a glimpse of any which bespoke the rank and opulence of its
owner, he never missed pointing at it with his finger, and wishing
that were the place of our retreat.

I know not, my good friend, said I, what idea you have formed of our
habitation; but if you have taken it into your head that ours is a
magnificent house, with the domain of a great landed proprietor, I
warn you in time that you are laying much too flattering an unction
to your vanity.

If you have no mind to be the dupe of a warm imagination, figure to
yourself the little ornamented cottage which Horace fitted up near
Tibur, in the country of the Sabines, on a small farm, the fee-simple
of which was given him by Mæcenas.  Don Alphonso has made me just
such another present, more as a token of affection than for the value
of the thing.  Then I must expect to see nothing but a dirty hovel!
exclaimed Scipio.  Bear in mind, replied I, that I have always given
you quite an unvarnished description of my place; and now, even at
this moment, you may judge for yourself whether I have not stuck to
truth and nature in my representations.  Just carry your eye along
the course of the Guadalaviar, and observe at a little distance from
the further bank, near that hamlet, consisting of nine or ten
tenements, a house with four small turrets: that is my mansion.

The deuce and all! stammered out my secretary, short-breathed with
sudden admiration: why, that house is one of the prettiest things in
nature.  Besides the castellated air which those turrets give it, all
the beauties of situation and architecture, fertility of soil, and
perfection of landscape, combine to rival or excel the immediate
neighborhood of Seville, complimented as it is for its picturesque
attractions by the appellation of an earthly paradise.  Had we chosen
the place of our settlement for ourselves, it could not have been
more to my taste: a river meanders through the grounds, distilling
plenty and verdure from its fertilizing bosom; the leafy honors of an
umbrageous wood invite the mid-day walk, and qualify the temperature
of the seasons.  What a heavenly abode of solitude and contemplation!
Ah! my dear master, we shall act very foolishly if we are in a hurry
to run away from our happiness.  I am delighted, answered I, that you
are so well satisfied with the retreat provided for us, though yet
acquainted with only a small part of its attractions.

As we were chatting in this strain, we got nearer and nearer to the
house, where the door opened as by magic, the moment Scipio announced
Signor Gil Blas de Santillane, who was coming to take possession of
his estate.  At the mention of this name, received with reverential
homage by the people who had been instructed in the transfer of their
obedience, my carriage was admitted into a large court, where I
alighted; then, leaning with all my weight upon Scipio, as if walking
was a derogation from my dignity, and putting on the great man after
the most consequential models, I reached the hall, where, on my
entrance, seven or eight servants made their obeisances.  They told
me they were come to welcome their new master with their best loves
and duties; that Don Cæsar and Don Alphonso de Leyva had chosen them
to form my establishment, one in quality of cook, another as
under-cook, a third as scullion, a fourth as porter, and the rest as
footmen; with an express injunction to receive no wages or
perquisites, as those two noblemen meant to defray all the expenses
of my household.  The cook, Master Joachim by name, was
commander-in-chief of this battalion, and announced to me the whole
array of the campaign; he declared that he had laid in a large stock
of the choicest wines in Spain, and insinuated that for the solid
supply of the table, he flattered himself a person of his education
and experience, who had been six years at the head of my Lord
Archbishop of Valencia's kitchen, must know how to dish up a dinner
so as to meet the ideas of the most fastidious layman in Christendom.
But the proof of the pudding is in the eating, added he; so I will
just go and give you a specimen of my talent.  You had better take a
walk, my lord, while dinner is getting ready; look about the
premises, and see whether you find them in tenantable condition for a
person of your lordship's dignity.

The reader may guess whether I did not stir my stumps; and Scipio,
still more eager than myself to take a bird's-eye inventory of our
goods and chattels, dragged me back and fore from room to room.
There was not a corner of the house that we did not peep into, from
the garret to the cellar; not a closet or a cranny, at least as we
supposed, could escape our prying curiosity; and in every fresh room
we went into, I had occasion to admire the kindness of Don Cæsar and
his son towards me.  I was struck, among other things, with two
apartments, which were as elegantly furnished as they could be,
without misplaced magnificence.  One of them was hung with tapestry,
the celebrated manufacture of the Low Countries; the velvet bed and
chairs were still very handsome, though in the fashion of the time
when the Moors possessed the kingdom of Valencia.  The furniture of
the other room was in the same taste: to wit, an old suit of
hangings, made of yellow Genoa damask, with a bed and arm-chairs to
match, fringed with blue silk.  All these effects, which would have
furnished but a sorry display in an upholsterer's shop, made no
contemptible appearance in their present situation.

After having rummaged over every article of the paraphernalia, my
secretary and myself returned to the dining-room, where the cloth was
laid for two; we sat down, and in an instant they served up so
delicious an olla podrida, that we could not help revolving on the
various turns of the fate below, which had parted the good Archbishop
of Valencia from his cook.  We had in truth a most catholic and
ravenous appetite--a circumstance which added new zest to our praises
and enjoyments.  Between every succeeding help, my servants, with all
the alacrity of fresh and holiday service, filled our large glasses
to the brim with wine, the choicest vintage of La Mancha.  Scipio,
not thinking it genteel to express aloud the inward chucklings of his
heart at our dainty fare, winked and nodded his delight, and spoke by
signs, which I returned with the like dumb eloquence of overflowing
satisfaction.  The remove was a dish of roast quails, flanking a
little leveret in high order, just kept long enough; for this we left
our hash, good as it was, and gorged ourselves to a surfeit on the
game.  When we had eaten as if we had never eaten before, and pledged
one another in due proportion, we rose from table, and went into the
garden to look out for some cool, pleasant spot, and take our
afternoon's nap voluptuously.

If hitherto my secretary had goggled satisfaction at what he had
seen, he stared wider and grinned broader at this vista vision of the
garden.  He scarcely allowed the comparison to be in favor of the
Escurial.  The reason of its extreme niceness was, that Don Gæsar,
who came backwards and forwards to Lirias, took pleasure in improving
and ornamenting it.  All the walks well gravelled and lined with
orange trees, a large reservoir of white marble, with a lion in
bronze spouting water like a dolphin's deputy in the middle, the
beauty of the flower borders, the profusion and variety of the fruit
trees,--such pretty particulars as these made Scipio smack his lips,
and snuff the air; but his raptures reached their summit at the
gradual descent of a long walk, leading to the bailiff's cottage, and
overarched by the interwoven boughs of the trees planted on each
side.  While eulogizing a place so well adapted for a refuge from the
intenseness of the heat, we made a halt, and sat down at the foot of
an elm, where sleep required very little cunning to entangle two
high-fed, half-tipsy blades, just risen from so voluptuous and
voracious a repast.

In about two hours we were startled out of our sleep by the report of
musketry, popping so near the head-quarters of our repose, that we
apprehended the camp to be attacked.  On the alert! was the first
idea that invaded our dozing minds.  That we might procure the most
authentic intelligence in what direction the enemy was approaching,
we directed our march towards the bailiff's tenement.  There were
collected eight or ten clodhoppers, all friends and neighbors,
assembled on the green for the purpose of honoring my arrival, just
communicated to the vacant senses of the said clodhoppers by a
discharge of fire-arms, whose barrels and furniture might thank me
for the unusual favor of a thorough cleaning.  The greater part of
them were acquainted with my person, having seen me more than once at
the castle, while engaged in the business of my stewardship.  No
sooner did they set eyes on me, than they all shouted in unison, Long
life to our new lord and master!  Welcome to Lirias!  Then they
loaded once again, and fired another volley in honor of the occasion.
My habits and manners were softened down to the most condescending
urbanity, though with a decorous infusion of distance, lest any
degrading constructions might be put upon too unlimited a freedom of
address.  With respect to my protection, I promised it according to
the customary charter of newly-installed possessors, and went so far
as to throw them a purse of twenty pistoles: and this, in my opinion,
was the point of all others in my conduct which touched their hearts
most nearly.  After this benefaction, I left them at liberty to waste
as much powder as they pleased, and withdrew with my secretary into
the wood, where we walked to and fro till nightfall, without being at
all tired of our rural prospect; so many charms had the view of a
landscape, heightened by the substantial beauties of ownership in
fee-simple, to our elevated and delighted imaginations!

The cook, the under-cook, and the scullion were not resting upon
their oars all this time; they were working hard to fit up for us an
artifice of belly timber more magnificent than what we had already
demolished, so that we were over head and ears in amazement, when, on
our return to the room where we had dined, we saw on the table a dish
of four roast partridges, with a smothered rabbit on one side, and a
fricasseed capon on the other.  The second course consisted of pigs'
ears, jugged game, and chocolate cream.  We drank deeply of the most
delicious wines, and began to think of going to bed when it became a
matter of doubt whether we could sit up any longer.  Then my people,
with lighted candles before me, led the way to the best bedroom,
where they were all most officious in assisting to undress me; but
when they had tendered me my gown and nightcap, I dismissed them with
an authoritative undulation of my hand, signifying that their
services were dispensed with for the remainder of that night.

Thus I sent them all about their business, keeping Scipio for a
little private conference between ourselves; and I led to it by
asking him what he thought of my reception, as arranged by order of
my noble patrons.  Indeed and indeed, answered he, the human heart
could not devise anything more delicious; I only wish we may go on as
we have begun.  I have no wish of the kind, replied I: it is contrary
to my principles to allow that my benefactors should put themselves
to so much expense on my account; it would be a downright fraud upon
their benevolence.  Besides, I could never feel myself at home with
servants in the pay of other people; it is just like living in a
lodging or an inn.  Then it is to be remembered, that I did not come
hither to live upon so expensive a scale.  What occasion have we for
so large an establishment of servants?  Our utmost want, with
Bertrand, is a cook, a scullion, and a footman.  Though my secretary
would not have been at all sorry to table for a continuance at the
governor of Valencia's expense, he did not oppose his own luxurious
taste to my moral delicacy, but conformed at once to my sentiments,
and approved the reduction I was meditating to introduce.  That point
being decided, he left my chamber, and betook himself to his pillow
in his own.




_CHAPTER IV._

_A JOURNEY TO VALENCIA, AND A VISIT TO THE LORDS OF LEYVA.  THE
CONVERSATION OF THE GENTLEMEN, AND SERAPHINA'S DEMEANOR._

I got my clothes off as soon as possible, and went to bed, where,
finding no great inclination to sleep, I communed with my own
thoughts.  The mutual attachment between the lords of Leyva and
myself was uppermost in the various topics of my contemplation.  With
my heart lull of their late kindness, I determined on setting out for
their residence the next day, and quenching my impatience to thank
them for their favors.  Neither was it a slender gratification to
anticipate another interview with Seraphina; though there was
somewhat of alloy in that pleasure: it was impossible to reflect
without shuddering, that I should at the same time have to encounter
the glances of Dame Lorenza Sephora, who might not be greatly
delighted at the renewal of our acquaintance, should her memory
happen to stumble upon the circumstances connected with a certain box
on the ear.  With my mind exhausted by all these different
suggestions, my eyelids at length closed, and the sun had peeped in
at my window long before they turned upon their hinges.  I was soon
out of bed, and dressed myself with all possible expedition, in the
earnest desire of prosecuting my intended journey.  Just as I had
finished my hasty operations, my secretary came into the room.
Scipio, said I, you behold a man on the point of setting out for
Valencia.  I ought to lose no time in paying my respects to those
noblemen to whom I am indebted for my little independence.  Every
moment of delay in the performance of this duty throws a new weight
of ingratitude on my conscience.  As for you, my friend, there is no
necessity for your attendance; stay here during my absence; I shall
come back to you within the space of a week.  Heaven speed you, sir!
answered he: be sure you do not slight Don Alphonso and his father:
they seem to me to thrill with the kindly vibrations of friendship,
and to be unbounded in their acknowledgment of obligation: gratitude
and benevolence are so uncommon in people of rank, that they deserve
to be made the most of where found.  I sent a message to Bertrand, to
hold himself in readiness for setting out, and took my chocolate
while he was harnessing the mules.  When all was prepared, I got into
my carriage, after having directed my people to consider my secretary
as master of the house in my absence, and to obey his orders as if
they were my own.

I got to Valencia in less than four hours, and drove at once to the
governor's stables, where I alighted and left my equipage.  On going
to the house, I was informed that Don Cæsar and his son were
together.  I did not wait for an introduction, but went in without
ceremony; and addressing myself to both of them, Servants, said I,
never send in their names to their masters: here is an old piece of
family furniture, not ornamental indeed, but of a fashion when
gratitude was neither out of date nor out of countenance.  These
words were accompanied with an effort to throw myself on my knees;
but they anticipated my purpose, and embraced me one after the other
with all possible evidence of sincere affection.  Well, then, my dear
Santillane, said Don Alphonso, you have been at Lirias to take
possession of your little property.  Yes, my lord, answered I; and my
next request is, that you would be pleased to take it back again.
What is your reason for that? replied he.  Is there anything about it
at all offensive to your taste?  Not in the place itself, rejoined I:
on the contrary, that is everything that my heart can wish; the only
fault I have to find with it is that the kitchen smells too strongly
of the hierarchy; a lay Christian should not live like an archbishop;
besides that, there are three times as many servants as are
necessary, and consequently you are put to an expense at once
enormous and useless.

Had you accepted the annuity of two thousand ducats, which we offered
you at Madrid, said Don Cæsar, we should have thought it enough to
give you the mansion furnished as it is; but you know you refused it;
and we felt it but right to do what we have done as an equivalent.
Your bounty has been too lavish, answered I: the gift of the estate
was the utmost limit to which it should have been extended, and that
was more than sufficient to crown my largest wishes.  But to say
nothing about what it has cost you to keep up so great and expensive
an establishment, I declare to you most solemnly that these people
stand in my way, and are a great annoyance.  In one word, gentlemen,
either take back your boon, or give me leave to enjoy it in my own
way.  I pronounced these last words so much as if I was in earnest,
that the father and son, not meaning to lay me under any unpleasant
restraint, at length gave me their permission to manage my household
as it should seem expedient to my better judgment.

I was thanking them very kindly for having granted me that privilege,
without which a dukedom would have been but splendid slavery, when
Don Alphonso interrupted me by saying, My dear Gil Blas, I will
introduce you to a lady who will be extremely happy to see you.  Thus
preparing me for the interview, he took me by the hand and led the
way to Seraphina's apartment, who set up a scream of joy on
recognizing me.  Madam, said the governor, I flatter myself that the
visit of our friend Santillane at Valencia is not less acceptable to
you than myself.  On that head, answered she, he may rest confidently
assured; time has not obliterated the remembrance of the service
which he once rendered me; and to that must be added a new debt of
gratitude incurred on the score of your obligations.  I told the
governor's lady that I was already too well requited for the danger
which I had shared in common with her deliverers in exposing my life
for her sake: compliments to the like effect were bandied about for
some time on both sides, when Don Alphonso motioned to quit
Seraphina's room.  We then went back to Don Cæsar, whom we found in
the saloon with a fashionable party, who were come to dinner.

All these gentlemen were introduced, and paid their compliments to me
in the politest manner; nor did their attentions relax in assiduity,
when Don Cæsar told them that I had been one of the Duke of Lerma's
principal secretaries.  In all likelihood several of them might not
be unacquainted that Don Alphonso had been promoted to the government
of Valencia by my interest, for political secrets are seldom kept.
However that might be, while we were at table, the conversation
principally turned on the new cardinal.  Some of the company either
were, or affected to be, his unqualified admirers, while others
allowed his merit upon the whole, but thought it had been rather
overrated.  I plainly saw through their design of drawing me on to
enlarge on the subject of his eminence, and to gratify their taste
for scandal with court anecdotes at his expense.  I could have been
well enough pleased to have delivered my real sentiments on his
character, but I kept my tongue within my teeth, and thereby passed,
in the estimation of the guests, for a close, confidential, politic,
trustworthy young statesman.

The party respectively retired home after dinner to take their usual
nap, when Don Cæsar and his son, yielding to a similar inclination,
shut themselves up in their apartments.

For my own part, full of impatience to see a town which I had so
often heard extolled for its beauty, I went out of the governor's
palace with the intention of walking through the streets.  At the
gate a man accosted me with the following address: Will Signor de
Santillane allow me to take the liberty of paying my respects to him?
I asked him who and what he was.  I am Don Cæsar's valet-de-chambre,
answered he, but was one of his ordinary footmen during your
stewardship; I used to make my court to you every morning, and you
used to take a great deal of notice of me.  I regularly gave you
intelligence of what was passing in the house.  Do you recollect my
apprising you one day that the village surgeon of Ley va was
privately admitted into Dame Lorenza Sephora's bedchamber?  It is a
circumstance which I have by no means forgotten, replied I.  But now
that we are talking of that formidable duenna, what is become of her?
Alas! resumed he, the poor creature moped and dwindled after your
departure, and at length gave up the ghost, more to the grief of
Seraphina than of Don Alphonso, who seemed to consider her death as
no great evil.

Don Cæsar's valet-de-chambre, having thus acquainted me with
Sephora's melancholy end, made a humble apology for having presumed
to stop my walk, and then left me to continue my progress.  I could
not help paying the tribute of a sigh to the memory of that ill-fated
duenna; and her decease affected me the more because I taxed myself
with that melancholy catastrophe, though a moment's reflection would
have convinced me that the grave owed its precious prey to the
inroads of her cancer, rather than to the cruel charms of my person.

I looked with an eye of pleasure upon everything worth notice in the
town.  The archbishop's marble palace feasted my eyes with all the
magnificence of architecture; nor were the piazzas which surrounded
the exchange much inferior in commercial grandeur; but a large
building at a distance, with a great crowd standing before the doors,
attracted all my attention.  I went nearer, to ascertain the reason
why so great a concourse of both sexes was collected, and was soon
let into the secret by reading the following inscription in letters
of gold on a tablet of black marble over the door: _La Posada de los
Representantes_.[*]  The play-bills announced for that day a new
tragedy, never performed, and gave the name of Don Gabriel Triaquero
as the author.


[*] The theatre.




_CHAPTER V._

_GIL BLAS GOES TO THE PLAY, AND SEES A NEW TRAGEDY.  THE SUCCESS OF
THE PIECE.  THE PUBLIC TASTE AT VALENCIA._

I stopped for some minutes before the door, to make my remarks on the
people who were going in.  There were some of all sorts and sizes.
Here was a knot of genteel-looking fellows, whose tailors at least
had done justice to their fashionable pretensions; there, a mob of
ill-favored and ill-mannered mortals, in a garb to identify
vulgarity.  To the right was a bevy of noble ladies, alighted from
their carriages to take possession of their private boxes; to the
left, a tribe of female traders in lubricity, who came to sell their
wares in the lobby.  This mixed concourse of spectators, as various
in their minds as in their faces, gave me an itching inclination to
increase their number.  Just as I was taking my check, the governor
and his lady drove up.  They spied me out in the crowd, and having
sent for me, took me with them to their box, where I placed myself
behind them, in such a position as to converse at my ease with either.

The theatre was filled with spectators from the ceiling downwards,
the pit thronged almost to suffocation, and the stage crowded with
knights of the three military orders.  Here is a full house, said I
to Don Alphonso.  You are not to consider that as anything
extraordinary, answered he; the tragedy now about to be produced is
from the pen of Don Gabriel Triaquero, the most fashionable dramatic
writer of his day.  Whenever the play-bill announces any novelty from
this favorite author, the whole town of Valencia is in a bustle.  The
men as well as the women talk incessantly on the subject of the
piece: all the boxes are taken; and on the first night of performance
there is a risk of broken limbs in getting in, though the price of
admission is doubled, with the exception of the pit, which is too
authoritative a part of the house for the proprietors to tamper with
its patience.  What a paroxysm of partiality! said I to the governor.
This eager curiosity of the public, this hot-headed impatience to be
present at the first representation of Don Gabriel's pieces gives me
a magnificent idea of that poet's genius.

At this period of our conversation the curtain rose.  We immediately
left off talking, to fix our whole attention on the stage.  The
applauses were rapturous even at the prologue: as the performance
advanced, every sentiment and situation, nay, almost every line of
the piece, called forth a burst of acclamation; and at the end of
each act the clapping of hands was so loud and incessant, as almost
to bring the building about our ears.  After the dropping of the
curtain, the author was pointed out to me, going about from box to
box, and with all the modesty of a successful poet, submitting his
head to the imposition of those laurels which the genteeler, and
especially the fairer part of the audience had prepared for his
coronation.

We returned to the governor's palace, where we were met by a party of
three or four gentlemen.  Besides these mere amateurs, there were two
veteran authors of considerable eminence in their line, and a
gentleman of Madrid with tolerably fair claims to critical authority
and judgment.  They had all been at the play.  The new piece was the
only topic of conversation during supper-time.  Gentlemen, said a
knight of St. James, what do you think of this tragedy?  Has it not
every claim to the character of a finished work?  Thoughts that
breathe, and words that burn, a hand to touch the true chords of
pity, and sweep the lyre of poetry--requisites how rarely, and yet
how admirably united!  In a word, it is the performance of a person
mixing in the higher circles of society.  There can be no possible
difference of opinion on that subject, said a knight of Alcantara.
The piece is full of strokes which Apollo himself might have aimed,
and of perplexities contrived so that none but the author himself
could have unravelled them.  I appeal to that acute and ingenious
stranger, added he, addressing his discourse to the Castilian
gentleman; he looks to me like a good judge, and I will lay a wager
that he is on my side of the question.  Take care how you stake on an
uncertainty, my worthy knight, answered the gentleman with a
sarcastic smile.  I am not of your provincial school; we do not pass
our judgment so hastily at Madrid.  Far from sentencing a piece on
its first representation, we are jealous of its apparent merit while
aided by scenic deception; our fancies and our feelings may be
carried away for the moment, but our serious decision is suspended
till we have read the work; and the most common result of its appeal
to the press is a defalcation from its powers of pleasing on the
stage.

Thus you perceive, pursued he, that it is our practice to examine a
work of genius closely before we stamp on it the mark of a stock
piece: its author's fame, let it ring as loudly as it may, can never
confound our exactness of discrimination.  When Lope de Vega himself
or Calderona ventured on the boards, they encountered rigid critics,
though in an audience which doted on them--critics who would not sign
their passport to the regions of immortality till they had sifted
their claims to be admitted there.

That is a little too much, interrupted the knight of St. James.  We
are not quite so cautious as you.  It is not our custom to wait for
the printing of a piece in order to decide on its reputation.  By the
very first performance it sinks or swims.  It does not even seem
necessary to be inconveniently attentive to the business of the
stage.  It is sufficient that we know it for a production of Don
Gabriel, to be persuaded that it combines every excellence.  The
works of that poet may justly be considered as commencing a new era,
and fixing the criterion of good taste.  The school of Lope and
Calderona was the mere cart of Thespis, compared with the polished
scenes of this great dramatic master.  The gentleman, who looked up
to Lope and Calderona as the Sophocles and Euripides of the
Spaniards, could not easily be brought to acknowledge such wild
canons of criticism.  This is dramatic heresy with a vengeance!
exclaimed he.  Since you compel me, gentlemen, to decide like you on
the fallacious evidence of a first night, I must tell you that I am
not at all satisfied with this new tragedy of your Don Gabriel.  As a
poem, it abounds more with glittering conceits than with passages of
pathos or delineations of nature.  The verses, three out of four, are
defective either in measure or rhyme; the characters, clumsily
imagined or incongruously supported; and the thoughts have often the
obscurity of a riddle without its ingenuity.

The two authors at table, who, with a prudence equally commendable
and unusual, had said nothing for fear of lying under the imputation
of jealousy, could not help assenting to the last speaker's opinions
by their looks; which warranted me in concluding that their silence
was less owing to the perfection of the work, than to the dictates of
personal policy.  As for the military critics, they got to their old
topic of ringing the changes on Don Gabriel, and exalted him to a
level with the under tenants of Olympus.  This extravagant
association with the demigods, this blind and stiff-necked idolatry,
divorced the Castilian from his little stock of patience, so that,
raising his hands to heaven, he broke out abruptly into a volley of
enthusiasm: O divine Lope de Vega, sublime and unrivalled genius, who
hast left an immeasurable space between thee and all the Gabriels who
would light their tapers from thy bright effulgence! and thou,
mellow, soft-voiced Calderona, whose elegance and sweetness,
rejecting buskined rant and tragic swell, reign with undisputed sway
over the affections, fear not, either of you, lest your altars should
be overturned by this tongue-tied nursling of the muses!  It will be
the utmost of his renown, if posterity, before whose eyes your works
shall live in daily view, and form their dear delight, shall enroll
his name, as matter of history and curious record, on the list of
obsolete authors.

This animated apostrophe, for which the company was not at all
prepared, raised a hearty laugh, after which we all rose from table
and withdrew.  An apartment had been got ready for me by Don
Alphonso's order, where I found a good bed; and my lordship, lying
down in luxurious weariness, went to sleep upon the tag of the
Castilian gentleman's impassioned vindication, and dreamed most
crustily of the injustice done to Lope and Calderona by ignorant
pretenders.




_CHAPTER VI._

_GIL BLAS, WALKING ABOUT THE STREETS OF VALENCIA, MEETS WITH A MAN OF
SANCTITY, WHOSE PIOUS FACE HE HAS SEEN SOMEWHERE ELSE.  WHAT SORT OF
MAN THIS MAN OF SANCTITY TURNS OUT TO BE._

As I had not been able to complete my view of the city on the
preceding day, I got up betimes in the morning with the intention of
taking another walk.  In the street I remarked a Carthusian friar,
who doubtless was thus early in motion to promote the interests of
his order.  He walked with his eyes fixed on the ground, and a gait
so holy and contemplative as to inspire every passenger with
religious awe.  His path was in the same direction as mine.  I looked
at him with more than ordinary curiosity, and could not help fancying
it was Don Raphael, that man of shifts and expedients, who has
already secured so honorable a niche in the temple of fame.  (_See
Books I. to VI. of my Memoirs._)

I was so utterly astonished, so thrown off my balance by this
meeting, that, instead of accosting the monk, I remained motionless
for some seconds, which gave him time to get the start of me.  Just
heaven! said I, were there ever two faces more exactly alike?  I do
not know what to make of it!  It seems incredible that Raphael should
turn up in such a guise!  And yet how is it possible to be any one
else?  I felt too great a curiosity to get at the truth not to pursue
the inquiry.  Having ascertained the way to the monastery of the
Carthusians, I repaired thither immediately, in the hope of coming
across the object of my search on his return, and with the full
intent of stopping and parleying with him.  But it was quite
unnecessary to wait for his arrival, to enlighten my mind on the
subject; on reaching the convent gate, another physiognomy, such as
few persons had read without paying for their lesson, resolved all my
doubts into certainty; for the friar who served in the capacity of
porter was unquestionably my old and godly-visaged servant, Ambrose
de Lamela.

Our surprise was equal on both sides at meeting again in such a
place.  Is not this a play upon the senses? said I, paying my
compliments to him.  Is it actually one of my friends who presents
himself to my astonished sight?  He did not know me again at first,
or probably might pretend not to do so; but, reflecting within
himself that it was in vain to deny his own identity, he assumed the
start of a man who all at once hits upon a circumstance which had
hitherto escaped his recollection.  Ah, Signor Gil Blas, exclaimed
he, excuse my not recognizing your person immediately.  Since I have
lived in this holy place, every faculty of my soul has been absorbed
in the performance of the duties prescribed by our rules, so that by
degrees I lose the remembrance of all worldly objects and events.

After a separation of ten years, said I, it gives me much pleasure to
find you again in so venerable a garb.  For my part, answered he, it
fills me with shame and confusion to appear in it before a man who
has been an eye-witness of my guilty courses.  These ghostly weeds
are at once the charm of my present life, and the condemnation of my
former.  Alas! added he, heaving a righteous sigh, to be worthy of
wearing it, my earlier years should have been passed in primitive
innocence.  By this discourse, so rational and edifying, replied I,
it is plain, my dear brother, that the finger of the Lord has been
upon you, that you are marked out for a vessel of sanctification.  I
tell you once again, I am delighted at it, and would give the world
to know in what miraculous manner you and Raphael were led into the
path of the righteous; for I am persuaded that it was his own self
whom I met in the town, habited as a Carthusian.  I was extremely
sorry, afterwards, not to have stopped and spoken to him in the
street, and I am waiting here to apologize for my neglect on his
return.

You were not mistaken, said Lamela; it was Don Raphael himself whom
you saw; and as for the particulars of our conversion, they are as
follow: After parting with you near Segorba, we struck into the
Valencia road, with the design of bettering our trade by some new
speculation.  Chance or destiny one day led our steps into the church
of the Carthusians, while service was performing in the choir.  The
demeanor of the brethren attracted our notice, and we experienced in
our own persons the involuntary homage which vice pays to virtue.  We
admired the fervor with which they poured forth their devotions,
their looks of pious mortification, their deadness to the pleasures
of the world and the flesh, and in the settled composure of their
countenances, the outward sign of an approving conscience within.

While making these observations, we fell into a train of thought
which became like manna to the hungry and thirsty soul: we compared
our habits of life with the employments of these holy men, and the
wide difference between our spiritual conditions filled us with
confusion and affright.  Lamela, said Don Raphael, as we went out of
church, how do you stand affected by what we have just seen?  For my
part, there is no disguising the truth; my mind is ill at ease.
Emotions new and indescribable are rushing upon my mind; and, for the
first time in my life, I reproach myself with the wickedness of my
past actions.  I am just in the same temper of soul, answered I; my
iniquities are all drawn up in array against me; they beset me, they
stare me in the face; my heart, hitherto proof against all the arrows
of remorse, is at this moment shot through and through, torn and
disfigured, tormented and destroyed.  Ah! my dear Ambrose, resumed my
partner, we are two stray sheep, whom our heavenly Father, in mercy,
would lead back gently to the fold.  It is he himself, my child, it
is he who warns and guides us.  Let us not be deaf to the call of his
voice; let us abandon all our wicked courses; let us begin from this
day to work out our salvation with diligence and in the spirit of
repentance: we had better spend the remainder of our days in this
convent, and consecrate them to penitence and devotion.

I applauded Raphael's sentiment, continued brother Ambrose, and we
formed the glorious resolution of becoming Carthusians.  To carry it
into effect, we applied to the venerable prior, who was no sooner
made acquainted with our purpose, than, to ascertain whether our call
was from the world above or the world beneath, he appointed us to
cells, and all the strictness of monkish discipline, for a whole
year.  We acted up to the rules with equal regularity and fortitude,
and, by way of reward, were admitted among the novices.  Our
condition was so much what we wished it, and our hearts were so full
of religious zeal, that we underwent the toils of our novitiate with
unflinching courage.  When that was over, we professed; after which,
Don Raphael, appearing admirably well qualified, both by natural
talent and various experience, for the management of secular
concerns, was chosen assistant to an old friar who was at that time
proctor.  The son of Lucinda would infinitely have preferred
dedicating every remaining moment of his existence to prayer; but he
found it necessary to sacrifice his taste for devotion, in
furtherance of the general prosperity.  He entered with so much zeal
and knowledge into the interests of the house, that he was considered
as the most eligible person to succeed the old proctor, who died
three years afterwards.  Don Raphael accordingly fills that office at
present; and it may be truly said that he discharges his duty to the
entire satisfaction of all our fathers, who praise in the highest
terms his conduct in the administration of our temporalities.  What
is most of all miraculous, and shows the hand of heaven in his
conversion, is that, with such an accumulation of business rushing in
upon him in his bursarial department, his regards are inalienably
fixed on the world to come.  When business leaves him but a moment to
recruit nature, instead of lavishing the short period in indulgence,
his thoughts wing their way into the regions of devout and holy
meditation.  In short, he is the most exemplary member of this body.

At this period of our conversation I interrupted Lamela by an
ebullition of joy to which I gave vent at the sight of Raphael coming
in.  Here he is! exclaimed I; behold that righteous bursar for whom I
have been so impatiently waiting.  With a leap and a bound did I run
to meet and embrace him.  He submitted to the hug with his
newly-acquired resignation; and, without betraying the slightest
shock at meeting with an old companion of his profaner hours, his
words were dictated by the spirit of gentleness and humility: The
powers above be praised, Signor de Santillane, the powers be praised
for this kind providence whereby we meet again.  In good truth, my
dear Raphael, replied I, your happy destiny pleases me as much as if
it had been my own good luck; brother Ambrose has told me the whole
story of your conversion, and the tale almost moved me to a similar
change.  What a glorious lot for you two, my friends, when you have
reason to flatter yourselves with being among that picked number of
the elect, who have eternal happiness thrust upon them whether they
will or no!

Two miserable sinners like ourselves, resumed the son of Lucinda,
with an air which marked the extreme of sanctified morality, must not
hope that our own merits are of weight enough to save our souls; but
even the wicked one who repenteth findeth grace with the Father of
mercies.  And you, Signor Gil Blas, added he, is it not time to lay
in a claim for pardon of the offences which you have committed?  What
is your business here in Valencia?  Are you not hankering after some
office of devil's deputy, and making shipwreck of your voyage to
another world?  Not so, by the blessing of heaven, answered I; since
I turned my back on the court, I have led a very moral sort of life;
sometimes enjoying rural recreations on an estate of mine at a few
leagues' distance from this town, and sometimes coming hither to pass
my time with my friend the governor, whom you both of you must know
perfectly well.

On this cue I related to them the story of Don Alphonso de Leyva.
They heard the particulars with attention; and on my telling them
that I had carried to Samuel Simon, on the part of that nobleman, the
three thousand ducats of which we had robbed him, Lamela interrupted
the thread of my narrative, and addressing his discourse to Raphael,
said, Father Hilary, if this be true, the honest vender of wares has
no reason to quarrel with a robbery which has paid him fifty per
cent.; and our consciences, as far as that indictment goes, may bask
in the sunshine of acquitted innocence.  Brother Ambrose and I, said
the bursar, did actually, on the assumption of the habit, send Samuel
Simon fifteen hundred ducats privately, by a pious ecclesiastic who
made a pilgrimage to Xelva for the sole purpose of accomplishing this
restitution; but it will go hard with Samuel at the general
reckoning, if he for filthy lucre could soil his fingers with that
sum, after having been reimbursed in full by Signor de Santillane.
But, said I, how do you know that your fifteen hundred ducats were
faithfully paid into his hands?  Unquestionably they were! exclaimed
Don Raphael; I would answer for the disinterested purity of that
ecclesiastic as soon as for my own.  I would be your collateral
security, said Lamela; he is a priest of the strictest sanctity, a
sort of universal almoner; and though many times cited for sums of
money deposited with him for charitable uses, he has always nonsuited
the plaintiffs, and gone out of court with an augmentation of
alms-giving notoriety.

Our conversation continued for some time longer: at length we parted,
with many a pious exhortation on their side, always to have the fear
of the Lord before my eyes, and with many an earnest entreaty on
mine, that they would remember me constantly in their prayers.  Don
Alphonso was now the first object of my search.  You will never
guess, said I, with whom I have just had a long conference.  I am but
now come from two venerable Carthusians of your acquaintance; the
name of the one is Father Hilary, that of the other, brother Ambrose.
You are mistaken, answered Don Alphonso; I am not acquainted with a
single Carthusian.  Pardon me, replied I; you have seen brother
Ambrose at Xelva in the capacity of commissary, and Father Hilary as
register to the inquisition.  O heaven! exclaimed the governor with
surprise, can it be within the bounds of possibility that Raphael and
Lamela should have turned Carthusians?  It is even so, answered I;
they professed several years ago.  The former is bursar and proctor
to the convent, the latter, porter.

The son of Don Cæsar rubbed his forehead twice or thrice, then
shaking his head, These worshipful officers of the inquisition, said
he, most assuredly purpose playing over the old farce on a new stage
here.  You judge of them by prejudice, answered I, from the
impression of their characters as men of sin: but had you been
edified by their lectures as I have been, you would think more
favorably of their holiness.  To be sure, it is not for mortal men to
fathom the depth of other men's hearts; but to all appearance they
are two prodigals returned home.  It possibly may be so, replied Don
Alphonso: there are many instances of libertines, who hide their
heads in cloisters, after having scandalized human nature by their
obliquities, to expatiate their offences by a severe penance: I
heartily wish that our two monks may be such libertines restored.

Well! and why not? said I.  They have embraced the monastic life of
their own accord, and have squared their conduct for a length of time
according to the maxims of their order.  You may say what you please,
retorted the governor; but I do not like the convent's rents being
received by this Father Hilary, of whom I cannot help entertaining a
very untoward opinion.  When the fine story he told us of his
adventures comes across my mind, I tremble for the reverend
brotherhood.  I am willing to believe with you, that he has taken the
vow with the pious intention of keeping it; but the blaze of gold may
be too much for the weakness of his regenerated eyesight, It is bad
policy to lock up a reformed drunkard in a wine cellar.

In the course of a few days Don Alphonso's misgivings were fully
justified; these two official props and stays of the establishment
ran away with the year's revenue.  This news, which was immediately
noised about the town, could not do otherwise than set the tongues of
the wits in motion; for they always make themselves merry at the
crosses and losses of the well-endowed religious orders.  As for the
governor and myself, we condoled with the Carthusians, but kept our
acquaintance with the apostate pilferers in the background.




_CHAPTER VII._

_GIL BLAS RETURNS TO HIS SEAT AT LIRIAS.  SCIPIO'S AGREEABLE
INTELLIGENCE, AND A REFORM IN THE DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS._

I passed a week at Valencia in the first company, living on equal
terms with the best of the nobility.  Plays, balls, concerts, grand
dinners, ladies' parties, all things that heart could wish or vanity
grow tall upon, were provided for me by the governor and his lady, to
whom I paid my court so dexterously, that they were heartily sorry to
see me set out on my return to Lirias.  They even obliged me, before
they would let me go, to engage for a division of my time between
them and my hermitage.  It was determined that I should spend the
winter in Valencia, and the summer at my seat.  After this bargain,
my benefactors left me at liberty to tear myself from them, and go
where their kindness would be always staring me in the face.

Scipio, who was waiting impatiently for my return, was ready to jump
out of his skin for joy at the sight of me; and his ecstasies were
doubled at my circumstantial account of the journey.  And now for
your history, my friend, said I, taking breath: to what moral uses
have you turned the solitary period of my absence?  Has the time
passed agreeably?  As well, answered he, as it could with a servant
to whom nothing is so dear as the presence of his master.  I have
walked over our little domain, circuitously and diagonally: sometimes
seated on the margin of a fountain in our wood, I have taken pleasure
in beholding the transparency of its waters, which are as pellucid as
those of the sacred spring, whose projection from the rock made the
vast forest of Albunea to resound with the roar of the cascade:
sometimes, lying at the foot of a tree, I have listened to the song
of the linnet or the nightingale.  At other times I have hunted or
fished; and, what has given me more rational delight than all these
pastimes, I have whiled away many a profitable hour in the
improvement of my mind.

I interrupted my secretary in a tone of eager inquiry, to ask where
he had procured books.  I found them, said he, in an elegant library
here in the house, whither Master Joachim took me.  Heyday! in what
corner, resumed I, can this said library be?  Did we not go over the
whole building on the day of our arrival?  You fancied so, rejoined
he; but you are to know that we only explored three sides of the
square, and forgot the fourth.  It was there that Don Cæsar, when he
came to Lirias, employed part of his time in reading.  There are in
this library some very good books, left as a never-failing phylactery
against the blue devils, when our gardens despoiled of Flora's
treasure, and our woods of their leafy honors, shall no longer
challenge those miscreant invaders to combat in the forest or the
bower.  The lords of Leyva have not done things by halves, but have
catered for the mind as well as for the body.

This intelligence filled me with sincere rapture.  I was shown to the
fourth side of the square, and feasted with an intellectual banquet.
Don Cæsar's room I immediately determined to make my own.  That
nobleman's bed was still there, with correspondent furniture,
consisting of historical tapestry, representing the rape of the
Sabine women by the Romans.  From the bedchamber, I went into a
closet fitted up with low bookcases well filled, and over them the
portraits of the Spanish kings.  Near a window whence you command a
prospect of a most bewitching country, there was an ebony
writing-desk and a large sofa, covered with black morocco.  But I
gave my attention principally to the library.  It was composed of
philosophers, poets, historians, and abounded in romances.  Don Cæsar
seemed to give the preference to that light reading, if one might
judge by the profusion of supply.  I must own, to my shame, that my
taste was not at all above the level of those productions,
notwithstanding the extravagances they delight in stringing together;
whether it was owing to my not being a very critical reader at that
time, or because the Spaniards are naturally addicted to the
marvellous.  I must nevertheless plead, in my own justification, that
I was alive to the charms of a sprightly and popular morality, and
that Lucian, Horace, and Erasmus became my favorite and standard
authors.

My friend, said I to Scipio, when my eyes had coursed over my
library, here is wherewithal to feed and pamper our minds; but our
present business is to reform our household.  On that subject I can
spare you a great deal of trouble, answered he.  During your absence
I have sifted your people thoroughly, and flatter myself it is no
empty boast to say that I know them.  Let us begin with Master
Joachim: I take him to be as great a scoundrel as ever breathed, and
have no doubt but he was turned away from the archbishop's for errors
which were too great to be excepted in the passing of his accounts.
Yet we must keep him for two reasons: the first, because he is a good
cook; and the second, because I shall always have an eye over him; I
shall peep into his actions like a jackdaw into a marrow-bone, and he
must be a more cunning fellow than I take him for, to evade my
vigilance.  I have already told him that you intended discharging
three fourths of your establishment.  This declaration stuck in his
stomach; and he assured me that, owing to his extreme desire of
living with you, he would be satisfied with half his present wages
rather than be turned off, which made me suspect that he was tied to
the string of some petticoat in the hamlet, and did not like to break
up his quarters.  As for the under-cook, he is a drunkard, and the
porter a foul-mouthed Cerberus, of whose guardianship our gates are
in no want; neither is the game-keeper a necessary evil.  I shall
take the latter office myself, as you may see to-morrow, when we have
got our fowling-pieces in order, and are provided with powder and
shot.  With regard to the footmen, one of them is an Arragonese, and
to my mind a very good sort of fellow.  We will keep him; but all the
rest are such rapscallions, that I would not advise you to harbor one
of them, if you wanted an army of attendants.

After having fully debated the point, we resolved to keep well with
the cook, the scullion, the Arragonese, and to get rid of the
remainder as decently as we could; all which was planned and executed
on the same day, mollifying the bitter dose by the application of a
few pistoles, which Scipio took from our strong box, and distributed
among them as from me.  When we had carried this reform into effect,
order was soon established in our mansion; we divided the business
fairly among our remaining people, and began to look into our
expenses.  I could willingly have been contented with very frugal
commons; but my secretary, loving high dishes and relishing bits, was
not a man who would suffer Master Joachim to hold his place as a
sinecure.  He kept his talents in such constant play, working double
tides at dinner and at supper, that any one would have thought we had
been converted by father Hilary, and were working out the term of our
probation.




_CHAPTER VIII._

_THE LOVES OF GIL BLAS AND THE FAIR ANTONIA._

Two days after my return from Valencia to Lirias, clodpole Basil, my
farming man, came at my dressing-time to beg the favor of introducing
his daughter Antonia, who was very desirous, as he said, to have the
honor of paying her respects to her new master.  I answered that it
was very proper, and would be well received.  He withdrew, and in a
few minutes returned with his peerless Antonia.  That epithet, though
bold, will not be thought extravagant in the case of a girl from
sixteen to eighteen years of age, uniting to regular features the
finest complexion and the brightest eyes in the world.  She was
dressed in nothing better than a stuff gown; but a stature somewhat
above the female standard, a dignified deportment, and such graces as
soared higher than the mere freshness and glow of youth, communicated
to her rustic attire the simplicity of classical costume.  She had no
cap on her head; her hair was fastened behind with a knot of flowers,
according to the chaste severity of the Spartan fashionables.

When she illumined my chamber with her presence, I was struck as much
on a heap by her beauty as ever were the princes, knights, nobles,
and strangers, assembled at the solemn feast and tournament of
Charlemain, by the personal charms of Angelica.  Instead of receiving
Antonia with modish indifference, and paying her compliments of
course, instead of ringing the changes on her father's happiness in
possessing so lovely a daughter, I stood stock still, staring,
gaping, stammering: I could not have uttered an articulate sound for
the universal world.  Scipio, who saw clearly what was the matter
with me, took the words out of my mouth, and accepted those bills of
admiration which my affairs were in too much disorder to admit of my
duly honoring.  For her part, my figure being shrouded by a
dressing-gown and nightcap, like the orb of day by a winter fog, she
accosted me without being shamefaced, and paid her duty in terms
which fired all the combustibles in my composition, though her words
were but the holiday expressions of commonplace salutation.  In the
mean time, while my secretary, Basil, and his daughter, were engaged
in reciprocal exchange of civility, I found my senses again; and
passed from one extreme of absurdity to another, just as if I had
thought that a hare-brained loquacity would be a set-off against the
idiotic silence of my first encounter.  I exhausted all my stock of
well-bred rodomontade, and expressed myself with so unguarded a
freedom as to make Basil look about him; so that he, with his eye
upon me as a man who would set every engine at work to seduce
Antonia, was in a hurry to get her safely out of my apartment, with a
resolved purpose, probably, of withdrawing her forever from my
pursuit.

Scipio, finding himself alone with me, said with a smile, Here is
another defence for you against the blue devils!  I did not know that
your farming man had so pretty a daughter; for I had never seen her
before, though I have been twice at his house.  He must have taken
infinite pains to keep her out of the way, and it is impossible to be
angry with him for it.  What the plague! here is a morsel for a
lickerish palate!  But there seems to be no necessity for blazoning
her perfections to you; their very first glance dazzled you out of
countenance.  I do not deny it, answered I.  Ah, my beloved friend; I
have surely seen an inhabitant of the realms above; the electrical
spark now thrills through all my frame, it scorches like lightning,
yet tingles like the vivifying fluid at my heart.

You delight me beyond measure, replied my secretary, by giving me to
understand that you have at length fallen in love.  Nothing but a
mistress was wanting to complete your rural establishment at all
points.  Thanks to heaven, you are now likely to be accommodated in
every way.  I am well aware that we shall have a hard matter to elude
Basil's vigilance; but leave that to me, and I will undertake before
the end of three days to manage a private meeting for you with
Antonia.  Master Scipio, said I, it is not so sure that you would be
able to keep your word; but, at all events, I have not the least
desire to make the experiment.  I will have nothing to do with the
ruin of that girl; for she is an angel, and does not deserve to be
numbered among the fallen ones.  Therefore, instead of laying the
guilt upon your soul of assisting me in her dishonor, I have made up
my mind to marry her with your kind help, supposing her heart not to
be pre-occupied by a prior attachment.  I had no idea, said he, of
your directly plunging headlong into the cold bath of matrimony.  The
generality of landlords, in your place, would stand upon the ancient
tenure of manorial rights: they would not deal with Antonia upon the
square of modern law and gospel, till after failure in the
establishment of their feudal privileges.  But though this may be the
way of the world, do not suppose that I am by any means against your
honorable passion, or at all wish to dissuade you from your purpose.
Your bailiff's daughter deserves the distinction you design for her,
if she can give you the first fruits of her heart, an offering of
sensibility and gratitude; that is what I shall ascertain this very
day by talking with her father, and possibly with her.

My agent was a man to transact his business according to the letter.
He went to see Basil privately, and in the evening came to me in my
closet, where I waited for him with impatience, somewhat exasperated
by apprehension.  There was a slyness in his countenance, whence my
prognostic inclined to the brighter side.  Judging, said I, by that
look of suppressed merriment, you are come to acquaint me that I
shall soon be at the summit of human bliss.  Yes, my dear master,
answered he, the heavens smile upon your vows.  I have talked the
matter over with Basil and his daughter, declaring your intentions
without reserve.  The father is delighted at the idea of your asking
his blessing as a son-in-law; and you may set your heart at rest
about Antonia's taste in a husband.  Darts and flames! cried I, in an
ecstasy of amorous transport; what! am I so happy as to have made
myself agreeable to that lovely creature?  Never question it, replied
he; she loves you already.  It is true, she has not owned so much by
word of mouth; but my assurance rests on the tale-telling sparkle of
her eye, when your proposals were made known to her.  And yet you
have a rival!  A rival! exclaimed I, with a faltering voice and a
cheek blanched with fear.  Do not let that give you the least
uneasiness, said he; your competitor cannot bid very high, for he is
no other than Master Joachim, your cook.  Ah! the hangdog! said I,
with an involuntary shout of laughter: this is the reason, then, why
he had so great an objection to being turned out of my service.
Exactly so, answered Scipio; within these few days he made proposals
of marriage to Antonia, who politely declined them.  With submission
to your better judgment, replied I, it would be expedient--at least,
so it strikes me--to get rid of that strange fellow before he is
informed of my intended match with Basil's daughter: a cook, as you
are aware, is a dangerous rival.  You are perfectly in the right,
rejoined my trusty counsellor; we must clear the premises of him--he
shall receive his discharge from me to-morrow morning, before he puts
a finger in the fricandeaus; thus you will have nothing more to fear
either from his poisonous sauces or bewitching tongue.  Yet it goes
rather against the grain with me to part with so good a cook; but I
sacrifice the interests of my own belly to the preservation of your
precious person.  You need not, said I, take on so for his loss; he
had no exclusive patent; and I will send to Valencia for a cook, who
shall outcook all his fine cookery.  According to my promise, I wrote
immediately to Don Alphonso, to let him know that our kitchen wanted
a prime minister; and on the following day he filled up the vacancy
in so worthy a manner as reconciled Scipio at once to the change in
culinary politics.

Though my adroit and active secretary had assured me of Antonia's
secret self-congratulation on the conquest of her landlord's heart, I
could not venture to rely solely on his report.  I was fearful lest
he should have been entrapped by false appearances.  To be more
certain of my bliss, I determined on speaking in person to the fair
Antonia.  I therefore went to Basil's house, and confirmed to him
what my ambassador had announced.  This honest peasant, of
patriarchal simplicity and golden-aged frankness, after having heard
me through, did not hesitate to own that it would be the greatest
happiness of his life to give me his daughter; but, added he, you are
by no means to suppose that it is because you are lord of the manor.
Were you still steward to Don Cæsar and Don Alphonso, I should prefer
you to all other suitors who might apply: I have always felt a sort
of kindness towards you; and nothing vexes me but that Antonia has
not a thumping fortune to bring with her.  I want not the vile dross,
said I; her person is the only dowry that I covet.  Your humble
servant for that, cried he; but you will not settle accounts with me
after that fashion; I am not a beggar, to marry my daughter upon
charity.  Basil de Buenotrigo is in circumstances, by the blessing of
Providence, to portion her off decently; and I mean that she should
set out a little supper, if you are to be at the expense of dinners.
In a word, the rental of this estate is only five hundred ducats: I
shall raise it to a thousand on the strength of this marriage.

Just as you please, my dear Basil, replied I; we are not likely to
have any dispute about money matters.  We are both of a mind; all
that remains is to get your daughter's consent.  You have mine, said
he, and that is enough.  Not altogether so, answered I; though yours
may be absolutely necessary, no business can be done without hers.
Hers follows mine of course, replied he; I should like to catch her
murmuring against my sovereign commands!  Antonia, rejoined I, with
dutiful submission to paternal authority, is ready, without question,
to obey your will implicitly in all things; but I know not whether in
the present instance she would do so without violence to her own
feelings; and, should that be the case, I could never forgive myself
for being the occasion of unhappiness to her; in short, it is not
enough that I obtain her hand from you, if her heart is to heave a
sigh at the decision of her destiny.  O, blessed virgin! said Basil;
all these fine doctrines of philosophy are far above my reach; speak
to Antonia your own self, and you will find, or I am very much
mistaken, that she wishes for nothing better than to be your wife.
These words were no sooner out of his mouth, than he called his
daughter, and left me with her for a few short minutes.

Not to trifle with so precious an opportunity, I broke my mind to her
at once.  Lovely Antonia, said I, it remains with you to fix the
color of my future days.  Though I have your father's consent, do not
think so meanly of me as to suppose that I would avail myself of it
to violate the sacred freedom of your choice.  Rapturous as must be
the possession of your charms, I waive my pretensions if you but tell
me that your duty, and not your will, complies.  It would be
affectation to put on such a repugnance, answered she; the honor of
your addresses is too flattering to excite any other than agreeable
sensations, and I am thankful for my father's tender care of me,
instead of demurring to his will.  I am not sure whether such an
acknowledgment may not be contrary to the rules of female reserve in
the polite world; but if you were disagreeable to me, I should be
plain-spoken enough to tell you so; why, then, should I not be
equally free in owning the kind feelings of my heart?

At sounds like these, which I could not hear without being
enraptured, I dropped on my knee before Antonia, and in the excess of
my tender emotions, taking one of her fair hands, kissed it with an
affectionate and impassioned action.  My dear Antonia, said I, your
frankness enchants me: go on; let nothing induce you to depart from
it; you are conversing with your future husband; let your soul expand
itself, and reveal all its inmost emotions in his presence.  Thus,
then, may I entertain the flattering hope that you will not frown on
the union of our destinies!  The coming in of Basil at this moment
prevented me from giving further vent to the delightful sensations
which thrilled through me.  Impatient to know how his daughter had
behaved, and ready primed for scolding in case she had been perverse
or coy, he made up to me immediately.  Well, now, said he, are you
satisfied with Antonia?  So much so, answered I, that I am going this
very moment to set forward the preparations for our marriage.  So
saying, I left the father and daughter, for the purpose of taking
counsel with my secretary thereupon.




_CHAPTER IX._

_NUPTIALS OF GIL BLAS WITH THE FAIR ANTONIA; THE STYLE AND MANNER OF
THE CEREMONY; THE PERSONS ASSISTING THEREAT; AND THE FESTIVITIES
ENSUING THEREUPON._

Though there was no occasion to consult with the lords of Leyva about
my marriage, yet both Scipio and myself were of opinion that I could
not decently do otherwise than communicate to them my purpose of
connecting myself with Basil's daughter, and just pay them the
compliment of asking their advice, after the act was finally
determined on.

I immediately went off for Valencia, where my visit was a matter of
surprise, and still more the purport of it.  Don Cæsar and Don
Alphonso, who were acquainted with Antonia, having seen her more than
once, wished me joy on my good fortune in a wife.  Don Cæsar, in
particular, made his speech upon the occasion with so much youthful
fire, that if there had not been reason to suppose his lordship
weaned, by that icy moralist, time, from certain naughty
propensities, I should have suspected him of going to Lirias now and
then, not so much to look after his concerns there, as after his
little empress of the dairy.  Seraphina, too, with the kindest
assurances of a lively interest in whatever might befall me, said
that she had heard a very favorable character of Antonia; but, added
she, with a malicious fling, as if to taunt me with my supercilious
reception of Sephora's amorous advances, even though her beauty had
not been so much the talk of the country, I could have depended on
your taste, from former experience of its delicacy and fastidiousness.

Don Cæsar and his son did not stop at cold approbation of my
marriage, but declared that they would defray all the expenses of it.
Measure back your steps, said they, to Lirias, and stay quietly there
till you hear further from us.  Make no preparation for your
nuptials, for we shall make that our concern.  To meet their kind
intentions with becoming gratitude, I returned to my mansion, and
acquainted Basil and his daughter with the projected kindness of our
patrons.  We determined to wait their pleasure with as much patience
as falls to the lot of poor human nature under such circumstances.
Eight long days dragged out their tedious measure, and brought no
tidings of our bliss.  But the rewards of self-control are not the
less assured for being slow: on the ninth, a coach drawn by four
mules drove up, with a cargo of mantua-makers for the bride, and an
assortment of rich silks on which to exercise their art.  Several
livery servants, mounted on mules, accompanied the cavalcade.  One of
them brought me a letter from Don Alphonso.  That nobleman sent me
word that he would be at Lirias next day with his father and his
wife, and that the marriage ceremony should be performed on the day
after that, by the vicar-general of Valencia.  And just so it came to
pass: Don Cæsar, his son, and Seraphina, with that venerable
dignitary, were punctual to their appointment, all four of them in a
coach and six,--none of your mules, like the mantua-makers,--preceded
by another coach and four, with Seraphina's women; and the rear was
brought up by a company of the governor's guards.

The governor's lady had hardly entered the house before she testified
an ardent longing to see Antonia, who, on her part, no sooner knew
that Seraphina was arrived, than she ran forward to bid her welcome,
with a respectful kiss upon her hand, so gracefully and modestly
impressed, that all the company were enchanted at the action.  And
now, madam, said Don Cæsar to his daughter-in-law, what do you think
of Antonia?  Could Santillane have made a better choice?  No,
answered Seraphina; they are worthy each of the other; there can be
no doubt but their union will be most happy.  In short, every one was
lavish in the praise of my intended; and if they felt her beams so
powerfully under the eclipse of a stuff gown, what must they not have
endured from her brightness in the meridian sunshine of her wedding
finery!  One would have fancied she had been clothed in silks,
jewels, and fine linen from her cradle, by the dignity of her air and
the ease of her deportment.

The happy moment which was to unite two fond lovers in the bands of
Hymen being arrived, Don Alphonso took me by the hand and led me to
the altar, while Seraphina conferred the like honor on the bride
elect.  Our procession had marched in fit and decent order through
the hamlet to the chapel, where the vicar-general was waiting to go
through the service; and the ceremony was performed amidst the
heartfelt congratulations of the inhabitants, and of all the wealthy
farmers in the neighborhood, whom Basil had invited to Antonia's
wedding.  Their daughters, too, came in their train, tricked out in
ribbons and in flowers, and dancing to the music of their own
tambourines.  We returned to the mansion under the same escort; and
there, by the provident attentions of Scipio, who officiated as high
steward and master of the ceremonies, we found three tables set out;
one for the principals of the party, another for their household, and
the third, which was by far the largest, for all invited guests
promiscuously.  Antonia was at the first, the governor's lady having
made a point of it; I did the honors of the second; and Basil was
placed at the head of that where the country people dined.  As for
Scipio, he never sat down, but was here, there, and everywhere,
fetching and carrying, changing plates and filling bumpers, urging
the company to call freely for what they wanted, and egging them on
to mirth and jollity.

The entertainment had been prepared by the governor's cooks; and that
is as much as to say that there were all the delicacies imaginable,
in season or out of season.  The good wines laid in for me by Master
Joachim were set running at a furious rate; the guests were beginning
to feel their jovial influence, pleasantry and repartee gave a zest
to conviviality, when on a sudden our harmony was interrupted by an
alarming occurrence.  My secretary, being in the hall where I was
dining with Don Alphonso's principal officers and Seraphina's women,
suddenly fainted.  I started up and ran to his assistance; and, while
I was employed in bringing him about, one of the women was taken ill
also.  It was evident to the whole company that this sympathetic
malady must involve some mysterious incident, as in effect it turned
out, almost immediately, that thereby hung a tale; for Scipio soon
recovered, and said to me in a low voice, Why must one man's meat be
another man's poison, and the most auspicious of your days the curse
of mine?  But every man bears the bundle of his sins upon his back,
and my pack-saddle is once more thrown across my shoulders in the
person of my wife.

Powers of mercy! exclaimed I, this can never be!  It is all a
romance.  What! you the husband of that lady whose nerves were so
affected by the disturbance?  Yes, sir, answered he, I am her
husband; and fortune, if you will take the word of a sinner, could
not have done me a dirtier office than by conjuring up such a
grievance as this.  I know not, my friend, replied I, what reasons
you may have for thus belaboring your rib with wordy buffets; but
however she maybe to blame, in mercy keep a bridle on your tongue; if
you have any regard for me, do not displace the mirth and spoil the
pleasure of this nuptial meeting by ominous disorder or enraged
questions of past injuries.  You shall have no reason to complain on
that score, rejoined Scipio, but shall see presently whether I am not
a very apt dissembler.

With this assurance he went forward to his wife, whom her companions
had also brought back to life and recollection, and, embracing her
with as much apparent fervor as if his raptures had been real, Ah, my
dear Beatrice, said he, heaven has at length united us again after
ten years of cruel separation!  But this blissful moment is well
purchased by whole ages of torturing suspense!  I know not, answered
his spouse, whether you really are at all the happier for having
recovered a part of yourself: but of this at least I am fully
certain, that you never had any reason to run away from me as you
did.  A fine story indeed!  You found me one night with Signor Don
Ferdinand de Leyva, who was in love with my mistress Julia, and
consulted me on the subject of his passion; and only for that, you
must take it into your stupid head that I was caballing with him
against your honor and my own: thereupon that poor brain of yours was
turned with jealousy; you quitted Toledo in a huff, and ran away from
your own flesh and blood as you would from a monster of the deserts,
without leaving word why or wherefore.  Now, which of us two, be so
good as to tell me, has most reason to take on and be pettish?  Your
own dear self, beyond all question, replied Scipio.  Beyond all
question, reëchoed she, my own ill-used self.  Don Ferdinand, very
shortly after you had taken yourself off from Toledo, married Julia,
with whom I continued as long as she lived; and, after we had lost
her by sudden death, I came into my lady her sister's service, who,
as well as all her maids,--and I would do as much for them,--will
give me a good character; honest and sober, and a very termagant
among the impertinent fellows.

My secretary, having nothing to allege against such a character from
my lady and her maids, was determined to make the best of a bad
bargain.  Once for all, said he to his spouse, I acknowledge my bad
behavior, and beg pardon for it before this honorable assembly.  It
was now time for me to act the mediator, and to move Beatrice for an
act of amnesty, assuring her that her husband from this time forward
would make it the great object of his life to play the husband to her
satisfaction.  She began to see that there was reason in roasting of
eggs, and all present were loud in their congratulations on the
triumph of suffering virtue, and the renovated pledge of broken vows.
To bind the contract firmer, and make it memorable, they were seated
next to one another at table; their healths were drank according to
the laws of toasting: Wish you joy!  Many returns of this happy day!
rang round on every side: one would have sworn that the dinner was
given for their reconciliation, and not on account of my marriage.

The third table was the first to be cleared.  The young villagers
jumped up in a body; the lads took out their blooming partners; the
tambourines struck up a merry beat; spectators flocked from the other
tables, and caught the enlivening spirit from the gay bustle of the
scene.  Every limb and muscle of every individual was in motion: the
household of the governor and his lady formed a set, apart from the
rustics of the company, while their superiors did not disdain to
mingle with the homelier dancers.  Don Alphonso danced a saraband
with Seraphina, and Don Cæsar another with Antonia, who afterwards
took me for her partner.  She did not perform much amiss, considering
that she never got much further than the five positions, in learning
which she had her ankles kicked to pieces by a provincial
dancing-master at Albarazin, while on a visit to a tradesman's wife,
one of her relations.  As for me, who, as I have already said, had
taken lessons at the Marchioness de Chaves's, I figured away as the
principal man in this rural ballet.  With regard to Beatrice and
Scipio, they preferred a little private conversation to dancing, that
they might compare notes on the subject of wear and tear during the
painful period of separation: but their billing and cooing was
interrupted by Seraphina, who, having been informed of this dramatic
discovery, sent for them to pay the customary compliments of
congratulation.  My good people, said she, on this day of general
joy, it gives me additional pleasure to see you two restored to one
another.  My friend Scipio, I return you your wife under a firm
belief that she has always conducted herself as became a woman; take
up your abode with her here, and be a good husband to her.  And you,
Beatrice, attach yourself to Antonia, and let her be as much the
object of your devoted service, as Signor de Santillane is that of
your husband.  Scipio, who could not possibly, after this, think of
Penelope as fit to hold a candle to his own wife, promised to treat
her with all the deference due to such a paragon of conjugal fidelity.

The country people, having kept up the dance till late, withdrew to
their own homes; but the rejoicings were prolonged by the company in
the house.  There was a grand supper, and at bed-time the
vicar-general pronounced the blessing of consummation.  Seraphina
undressed the bride, and the lords of Leyva did me the same honor.
The ridiculous part of the business was, that Don Alphonso's officers
and his lady's attendants took it into their heads, by way of
diverting themselves, to perform the same ceremony: they also
undressed Beatrice and Scipio, who, to render the scene supremely
farcical, gravely allowed themselves to be untrussed, and put to bed
with all nuptial pomp and state.




_CHAPTER X._

_THE HONEY-MOON (A VERY DULL TIME FOR THE READER AS A THIRD PERSON)
ENLIVENED BY THE COMMENCEMENT OF SCIPIO'S STORY._

  "'Tis heaven itself, 'tis ecstasy of bliss,
  Uninterrupted joy, untired excess;
  Mirth following mirth, the moments dance away;
  Love claims the night, and friendship rules the day."


On the day after the wedding, the lords of Leyva returned to
Valencia, after having lavished on me a thousand marks of friendship.
There was such a general clearance, that my secretary and myself,
with our respective wives, and our usual establishment, were left in
undisturbed possession of our own home.

The efforts which we both made to please our ladies were not thrown
away: I breathed by degrees into the partner of my joys and sorrows
as much love for me as I entertained for her; and Scipio made his
better part forget the woes and privations he had occasioned her.
Beatrice, who had very winning ways with her, and was all things to
all women, had no difficulty about worming herself into the good
graces of her new mistress, and gaining her complete confidence.  In
short, we all four agreed admirably well together, and began to enjoy
a bliss above the common lot of humanity.  Every day rolled along
more delightfully than the last.  Antonia was pensive and demure; but
Beatrice and myself were enlisted in the crew of mirth; and even
though we had been constitutionally sedate, Scipio was among us, and
he was of himself a pill to purge melancholy.  The best creature in
the world for a snug little party! one of those merry drolls who have
only to show their comical faces, and set the table in a roar of
inextinguishable laughter.

One day, when we had taken a fancy to go after dinner, and doze away
the usual interval in the most sequestered spot about the grounds, my
secretary got into such exuberant spirits as to chase away the drowsy
god by his exhilarating sallies.  Do hold your tongue, my loquacious
friend, said I; or else, if you are determined to wage war against
this lazy custom of our afternoons, at least tell us something which
we shall be the wiser for hearing.  With all my heart and soul, sir,
answered he.  Would you have me go through all fabulous histories of
wandering knights, distressed damsels, giants, enchanted castles, and
the whole train of legendary adventures?  I had much rather hear your
own true history, replied I; but that is a pleasure which you have
not thought fit to give me so long as we have lived together, and I
seem likely to go without it to the end of the chapter.  How happens
that? said he.  If I have not told you my own story, it is because
you never expressed the slightest wish to be troubled with the
recital: therefore it is not my fault if you are in the dark about my
past life; but if you are really at all curious to be let into the
secret, my loquacity is very much at your service on the occasion.
Antonia, Beatrice, and myself unanimously took him at his word, and
arranged ourselves for listening like an attentive audience.  The
speculation was a safe one on our parts; for the tale was sure to
answer, either as a stimulant or a soporific.

I certainly ought to have been descended, said Scipio, from some
family of the highest rank and earliest antiquity; or, in default of
such parentage, from the most distinguished orders of personal merit,
such as that of St. James of Alcantara, if a man may be permitted to
decide on the fittest circumstances for his own birth: but as it is
not among the privileges of human nature to elect one's own father,
you are to know that mine, by name Torribio Scipio, was a subaltern
myrmidon of the Holy Brotherhood.  As he was going back and fore on
the king's highway, and looking after business in his own line, he
met, once on a time, between Cuenja and Toledo, with a young Bohemian
babe of chance, who appeared very pretty in his eyes.  She was alone,
on foot, and carried her whole patrimony at her back in a kind of
knapsack.  Whither are you going, my little darling? said he in a
philandering tone of voice, unlike the natural hoarseness of his
accents.  Good worthy gentleman, answered she, I am going to Toledo,
where I hope to gain an honest livelihood by hook or by crook.  Your
intentions are highly commendable, retorted he; and I doubt not but
you have many a hook and many a crook among the implements of your
trade.  Yes, with a blessing on my endeavors, rejoined she: I have
several little ways of doing for myself: I know how to make washes
and creams for the ladies' faces, perfumes for their noses and their
chambers; then I can tell fortunes, can search for things lost with a
sieve and shears, and erect figures for the taking in of shadows with
a glass.

Torribio, concluding that so well provided a girl would be a very
advantageous match for a man like himself, who could scarcely scrape
wherewithal to support life by his own profession, though he was as
good a thief-taker as the best of them, made her an offer of
marriage, and she was nothing loath, nor prudishly coy.  They flew on
the wings of inclination and convenience to Toledo, where they were
joined together; and you behold in me the happy pledge of holy and
lawful matrimony.  They fixed themselves in a shop on the outskirts
of the town; where my mother commenced her career by selling the said
washes, creams, tapes, laces, silk, thread, toys, and pedler's ware;
but trade not being brisk enough to live comfortably by it, she
turned fortune-teller.  This drew her customers, got her countenance,
credit, crowns, and pistoles: a thousand dupes of either sex soon
trumpeted up the reputation of Cosclina; for so my gypsy mamma had
the honor to be named.  Some one or other came every day to bargain
for the exercise of her skill in the black art; at one time a nephew
at his wit's and purse's end, wanting to know how soon his uncle was
to set off post for the other world, and leave behind him wherewithal
to piece his worn-out fortunes; at another, some yielding, lovesick
girl, to inquire whether the swain who kept her company, and had
promised to marry her, would keep his word or be false-hearted.

You will take notice, if you please, that my mother always sold good
luck for good money: if the accomplishment trod on the heels of the
prediction, well and good; if it was fulfilled according to the rule
of contraries, she was always cool, though the parties were ever so
violently in a passion, and told them plainly that it was her
familiar's fault, not hers; for though she paid him the highest
wages, and bound him by potent spells to stir up the caldron of
futurity from the bottom, like earthly cooks, he would sometimes be
careless or out of humor, and apportion the ingredients wrongly.

When my mother thought the conjuncture momentous enough to raise the
devil without cheapening him in the eyes of the vulgar, Torribio
Scipio enacted his infernal majesty, and played the part just as if
he had been born to it, humoring the hideous features of the
character by a very small aggravation of his own natural face, and
practising the pandemonian note of elocution in the lower octave of
his voice.  A person in the slightest degree superstitious would be
scared out of his senses at my father's figure.  But one day, as his
satanic prototype would have it, there came a savage rascal of a
captain, who asked to see the devil, for no earthly purpose but to
run him clean through the body.  The inquisition, having received
notice of the devil's death, sent to take charge of his widow, and
administer to his effects: as for poor little me, just seven years
old at the time, I was sent to the foundling hospital.  There were
some charitable ecclesiastics on that establishment, who, being
liberally paid for the education of the poor orphans, were so zealous
in their office as to teach them reading and writing.  They fancied
there was something particularly promising about me, which made them
pick me out from all the rest, and send me on their errands.  I was
letter-carrier, messenger, and chapel-clerk.  As a token of their
gratitude, they undertook to teach me Latin; but their mode of
tuition was so harsh, and their discipline so severe, though I was a
sort of pet with them, that, not being able to stand it longer, I ran
away one morning while out on an errand, and, so far from returning
to the hospital, got out of Toledo through the suburbs on the Seville
side.

Though I had not then completed my ninth year, I already felt the
pleasure of being free, and master of my own actions.  I was without
money and without food: no matter!  I had no lessons to say by heart,
no themes to hammer out.  After having pushed on for two hours, my
little legs began to refuse their office.  I had never before made so
long a trip.  It became necessary to stop and take some rest.  I sat
myself down at the foot of a tree close by the highway; there, by way
of amusement, I took my grammar out of my pocket, and began conning
it over by way of a joke: but at length, coming to recollect the raps
on the knuckles, and the castigations on the more classical seat of
punishment which it had cost me, I tore it leaf by leaf with an
apostrophe of angry import.  Ah! you odious thing of a book! you
shall never make me shed tears any more.  While I was assuaging my
vindictive spirit by strewing the ground about me with declensions
and conjugations, there passed that way a hermit with a white beard,
with a large pair of spectacles on his nose, and altogether an
outside of much sanctity.  He came up to me; and, if I was an object
of speculation to him, he was no less so to me.  My little man, said
he with a smile, it should seem as if we had both taken a sudden
liking to each other; and in that case we cannot do better than to
live together in my hermitage, which is not two hundred yards
distant.  Your most obedient for that, answered I, pertly enough; I
have not the least desire to turn hermit.  At this answer, the good
old man set up a roar of laughter, and said with a kind embrace, You
must not be frightened at my dress; if it is not becoming, it is
useful; it gives me my title to a charming retreat, and to the
good-will of the neighboring villages, whose inhabitants love, or
rather idolize me.  Come this way, and I will clothe you in a jacket
of the same stuff as mine.  If you think well of it, you shall share
with me the pleasures of the life I lead; and, if it does not hit
your fancy, you shall not only be at liberty to leave me, but you may
depend on it that in the event of our parting, I shall not fail to do
something handsome by you.

I suffered myself to be persuaded, and followed the old hermit, who
put several questions to me, which I answered with a truth-telling
simplicity not always to be found in a more advanced stage of
morality.  On our arrival at the hermitage, he set some fruit before
me, which I devoured, having eaten nothing all day but a slice of dry
bread, on which I had breakfasted at the hospital in the morning.
The recluse, seeing me play so good a part with my jaws, said,
Courage, my good boy! do not spare my fruit; there is plenty of it,
heaven be praised.  I have not brought you hither to starve you.  And
indeed that was true enough; for an hour after our coming in, he
kindled a fire, put a leg of mutton down to roast, and, while I
turned the spit, laid a small table for himself and me, with a very
dirty napkin upon it.

When the meat was done enough, he took it up, and cut some slices for
our supper, which was no dry bargain, since we quaffed a delicious
wine, of which he had laid in ample store.  Well, my chicken, said
he, as he rose from table, are you satisfied with my style of living?
You see how we shall fare every day, if you fix your quarters here.
Then, with respect to liberty, you shall do just as you please in
this hermitage.  All I require of you is to accompany me, whenever I
go begging to the neighboring villages; you will be of use in driving
an ass laden with two panniers, which the charitable peasants usually
fill with eggs, bread, meat, and fish.  I ask no more than that.  I
will do, said I, whatever you desire, provided you will not oblige me
to learn Latin.  Friar Chrysostom--for that was the old hermit's
name--could not help smiling at my schoolboy frowardness, and assured
me once more that he should not pretend to interfere either with my
studies or my inclinations.

On the very next day we went on a foraging party with the donkey,
which I led by the halter.  We made a profitable gleaning; for all
the farmers took a pleasure in throwing somewhat into our panniers.
One chucked in an uncut loaf, another a large piece of bacon; here a
goose, there a pair of giblets, and a partridge to crown the whole.
But without entering further into particulars, we carried home
provender enough for a week; and hence you may infer the esteem and
friendship in which the country people held the holy man.  It is true
that he was a great blessing to the neighborhood: his advice was
always at their service when they came to consult him: he restored
peace where discord had reigned in families, and made up matches for
the daughters; he had a nostrum for almost any disease you could
mention, with an assortment of pious rituals to avert the curse of
barrenness.

Hence you perceive that I was in no danger of starving in my
hermitage.  My lodging, too, was none of the worst; stretched on good
fresh straw, with a cushion of ratteen under my head, and a coverlet
over me of the same stuff.  I made but one nap of it all night.
Brother Chrysostom, who had promised me a hermit's dress, made up an
old gown of his own for me, and called me little brother Scipio.  No
sooner did I appear in my religious uniform, than the ass's back
suffered for my genteel appearance in the eyes of the villagers.  It
was who should give most to the little brother! so much were they
delighted with his spruce figure.

The easy, slothful life I led with the old hermit could not be very
revolting to a boy of my age.  On the contrary, it suited my taste so
exactly, that I should have continued it to this time, but that the
fates and destinies were weaving a more complicated tissue for my
future years.  It was cast in the figure of my nativity, early to
rouse myself from the effeminacy of a religious life, and to take
leave of brother Chrysostom after the following manner.

I often observed the old man at work upon his pillow, unsewing and
sewing it up again; and one day, I saw him put in some money.  This
circumstance excited a tingling curiosity, which I promised myself to
satisfy the first time he went to Toledo, as he generally did once a
week.  I waited impatiently for the day, but as yet, without any
other motive than the mere desire of prying.  At last the good man
went his way, and I unpicked his pillow, where I found, among the
stuffing, the amount of about fifty crowns in all sorts of coin.

This treasure must have accumulated from the gratitude of the
peasantry, whom the hermit had cured by his nostrums, and of their
wives, who had become pregnant by virtue of his spiritual
interference.  But however it got there, I no sooner set my eyes on
the money, which might be mine without any one near me to say nay,
than the gypsy voice of nature and pedigree spoke within me.  An
inextinguishable itch of pilfering tingled in my veins, and proved
that we come into the world with the mark of our descent, and with
our characters about us.  I yielded to the temptation without a
struggle, tied up my booty in a canvas bag where we kept our combs
and night-caps; then, having laid aside the hermit's and resumed my
foundling's dress, got clear off from the hermitage, and hugged my
bag as though it had contained the boundless treasure of the Indies.

You have heard my first exploit, continued Scipio, and I doubt not
but you will expect a succession of similar practices.  Your
anticipations will not be disappointed; for there are many such
evidences of genius behind, before I come to those of my actions
which prove me good as well as clever; but I shall come to them, and
you will be convinced by the sequel, that a scoundrel born may be
licked into virtue, as the cub of a bear into shape.

Child as I was, I knew better than to take the Toledo road; it would
have been exposing myself to the hazard of meeting friar Chrysostom,
who would have balanced accounts with me on a very thriftless
principle.  I therefore travelled in another direction, leading to
the village of Galves, where I stopped at an inn kept by a landlady
who was a widow of forty, and hung out the bunch of grapes to a very
good purpose.  This good woman no sooner kenned me, than, judging by
my dress that I must be a truant from the orphan school, she asked
who I was and whither I was going.  I answered that, having lost my
father and mother, I was looking for a place.  Can you read, my dear?
said she.  I assured her that I could read, and write, too, with the
best of them.  In point of fact I could just form my letters, and
join them so as to look a little like writing; and that was clerkship
enough for a village pothouse.  Then I will take you into my service,
replied the hostess.  You may earn your board easily enough by
scoring up the customers and keeping my ledger.  I shall give you no
wages, because this inn is frequented by very genteel company, who
never forget the waiters.  You may reckon upon very considerable
perquisites.

I clinched the bargain, reserving to myself, as you may suppose, the
right of emigration whenever my abode at Galves should cease to be
pleasant.  No sooner was I settled in my place, than a weight lay
heavy on my mind.  I did not wish it to be known that I had money;
and it was no easy matter to devise where it could be hidden, so as
that what was sauce for the goose should not be sauce for the gander.
I was not yet well enough acquainted with the house to trust the
places obviously most proper for such a deposit.  What a source of
embarrassment is great wealth!  I determined, however, on a corner of
our granary under some straw; and, believing it to be safer there
than anywhere else, made myself as easy about it as I well could.

The household consisted of three servants--a lubberly ostler, a young
Galician chambermaid, and myself.  Each of us sponged what we could
upon travellers, whether on foot or on horseback.  I always came in
for some small change, when the bill was paid.  Then the equestrians
gave something to the ostler, for taking care of their beasts; but as
for our female fellow-servant, the muleteers who passed that way
chucked her under the chin, and gave her more crowns than we got
farthings.  I had no sooner realized a penny, than away it went to
the granary, and slept with its precursors; so that the higher rose
my heap, the more greedy did my little heart become.  Sometimes would
I kiss the hallowed images of my idolatry, and look at them with a
devotional glow which few worshippers feel but those whose religion
is their gold.

This inordinate passion sent me back and fore to gratify it at least
thirty times a day.  I often met the landlady on the staircase.  She,
being naturally of a suspicious temper, had a mind to find out one
day what could carry me every minute to the corn loft.  She therefore
went up and began rummaging about everywhere, supposing perhaps that
it was my receptacle for articles purloined in the house.  Of course
she did not forget to pull the straw about; and behold, there was my
bag!  Two hands in a dish and one in a purse, was not one of her
proverbs; so that, finding the contents in crowns and pistoles, she
thought, or seemed to think, that the money was lawfully and honestly
hers.  At least she had possession, and that is nine points of the
law, though scarcely one of honesty.  But to do the thing decently,
after calling me little wretch, little rascal, and so forth, she
ordered the ostler, a fellow without any will but hers, to give me a
hearty flogging; and then turned me out of doors, with this salt eel
for my breakfast, and a lady-like oath that no light-fingered gentry
should ever darken her doors.  In vain did I protest and vow that I
had never wronged my mistress: she affirmed the direct contrary, and
her word would go further than mine at any time.  Thus were friar
Chrysostom's savings transferred from one thief to a greater thief in
the thief-taker.

I wept over the loss of my money as a father over the death of his
only son; and though my tears could not bring back what I had lost,
they at least answered the purpose of exciting pity in some people,
who saw how bitterly they flowed, and among others in the parson, who
was accidentally going by.  He seemed affected by my sad plight, and
took me home with him.  There, to gain my confidence, or rather to
pump me, he began soothing my sorrows.  How much this poor child is
to be pitied! said he.  Is it any wonder if, thrown upon the wide
world at so tender an age, he has committed a bad action?  Grown up
men are not always proof against the flesh or the devil.  Then,
addressing me, Child, added he, from what part of Spain do you come,
and who are your parents?  You have the look of family about you.
Open your heart to me confidentially, and depend upon it, I never
will desert you.

His reverence, by this kind and insinuating language, engaged me by
degrees to tell him all my history, without falsification or reserve.
I owned everything; and thus he moralized on the leading article of
my confession: My little friend, though hermits ought to lay up such
treasures as neither force nor fraud can wrest from them, that was no
excuse for your taking the measure of punishment into your own hands:
by robbing brother Chrysostom, you nevertheless sinned against that
article of the decalogue which tells you not to steal; but I will
engage to make the hostess return the money, and will punctually
remit it to the reverend friar at his hermitage: you may therefore
make your conscience perfectly easy on that score.  Now, between
ourselves, my conscience was perfectly callous to everything like
compunction with respect to the crime in question.  The parson, who
had his own ends to answer, had not done with me yet.  My lad,
pursued he, I mean to take you by the hand, and find a good berth for
you.  I shall send you to-morrow morning, by the carrier, to my
nephew, a canon of Toledo.  He will not refuse, at my request, to
admit you upon his establishment, where they live like so many sons
of the church, rosily, merrily, and fatly, upon the rents of his
prebendal stall: you will be perfectly comfortable there, take my
word for it.

Patronage like this gave me so much encouragement, that I did not
throw away another thought either upon my bag or my whipping.  My
mind was wholly occupied with the idea of living rosily, merrily, and
fatly, like a son of the church.  The following day, at breakfast
time, there came, according to orders, a muleteer to the parsonage,
with two mules saddled and bridled.  They helped me to mount one, the
muleteer flung his leg over the other, and we trotted for Toledo.  My
fellow-traveller was a good, pleasant companion, and desired nothing
better than to indulge his humor at the expense of his neighbor.  My
little volunteer, said he, you have a good friend in his reverence,
the minister of Galves.  He could not give you a better proof of his
kindness than by placing you with his nephew the canon, whom I have
the honor of knowing, far beyond all question or comparison, to be
the cock of the chapter; and a hearty one he is.  None of your
lantern-jawed saints, with Lent in his face, a cat-of-nine-tails on
his back, and a cholera morbus in his belly.  No such thing!  Our
doctor is rubicund in the jowl, efflorescent on the nose, with a
wicked eye at a bumper or a girl; militant against no earthly
pleasure, but most addicted to the good things of the table.  You
will be as snug there as a bug in a blanket.

This hangman of a muleteer, perceiving with what exquisite
satisfaction I took in all this, went on tantalizing me with the joys
of an ecclesiastical life.  He never dropped the subject till we got
to the village of Obisa, and stopped there to refresh our mules.
Then, while bustling about the inn, he accidentally dropped a paper
from his pocket, which I was cunning enough to pick up without his
seeing me, and took an opportunity of reading while he was in the
stable.  It was a letter addressed to the governors and
superintendents of the orphan school, conceived in these terms:--


"Gentlemen: I consider it as an act at once of charity and of duty to
send you back a little truant; he seems a shrewd lad enough, and may
do very well with good looking after.  By dint of hard and frequent
chastisement, I doubt not but you will ultimately bring him to a
sense of his own unworthiness and your benevolence.  May a blessing
be vouchsafed on your pious and charitable labors for the early
extirpation of sin and wickedness!

(Signed) "THE MINISTER OF GALVES."


When I had finished reading this pleasant letter, which let me into
the good intentions of his reverence the rector, it required little
deliberation to determine what I was to do: from the inn to the banks
of the Tagus, a space of three good miles, was but a hop, step, and
jump.  Fear lent me wings to escape from the governors of the
foundling hospital, whither I was absolutely resolved never to
return, having formed principles of taste diametrically opposite to
their method of teaching the classics.  I went into Toledo with as
light a heart as if I had known where to get my daily bread.  To be
sure, it is a town of ways and means, where a man who can live by his
wits need never die of hunger.  Scarcely had I reached the high
street, when a well-dressed gentleman, by whom I brushed, caught me
by the arm, saying, My little fellow, do you want a place?  You are
just such a smart lad as I was looking for.  And you are just the
master for my money, answered I.  Since that is the case, rejoined
he, you are mine from this moment, and have only to follow me, which
I did without asking any more questions.

This spark, about the age of thirty, and bearing the name of Don
Abel, lodged in very handsome ready-furnished apartments.  He was by
profession a blacklegs; and the following was the nature of our
engagement.  In the morning I got him as much tobacco as would smoke
five or six pipes; brushed his clothes, and ran for a barber to shave
him and trim his whiskers; after which he made the circle of the
tennis-courts, whence he never returned home till eleven or twelve at
night.  But every morning, at going out, he gave me three reals for
the expenses of the day, leaving me master of my own time till ten
o'clock in the evening; and, provided I was within doors by his
return, all was well.  He gave me a livery besides, in which I looked
like a little lackey of illicit love.  I took very kindly to my
condition, and certainly could not have met with any more congenial
with my temper.

Such and so happy had been my way of life for nearly a month, when my
employer inquired whether I liked his service; and on my answer in
the affirmative, Well, then! resumed he, to-morrow we shall set out
for Seville, whither my concerns call me.  You will not be sorry to
see the capital of Andalusia.  "He that hath not Seville seen," says
the proverb, "Is no traveller I ween."  I engaged at once to follow
him all over the world.  On that very day, the Seville carrier
fetched away a large trunk with my master's wardrobe, and on the next
morning we were on the road for Andalusia.

Signor Don Abel was so lucky at play, that he never lost but when it
was convenient; but then it was seldom convenient to stay long in a
place, because those who are always losers find out, at last, that
though chance is a dangerous antagonist, certainly it is a desperate
one; and that accounted for our journey.  On our arrival at Seville,
we took lodgings near the Cordova gate, and resumed the same mode of
life as at Toledo.  But my master found some difference between the
two towns.  The Seville tennis-courts could produce players equally
in fortune's good graces with himself; so that he sometimes came home
a good deal out of humor.  One morning, when he was biting the bridle
for the loss of a hundred pistoles the day before, he asked why I had
not carried his linen to the laundress.  I pleaded forgetfulness.
Thereupon, flying into a passion, he gave me half-a-dozen boxes on
the ear in such a style, as to kindle an illumination in my blinking
eyes, to which the glories of Solomon's temple were no more to be
compared, than the torches in a Candlemas procession to a rush-light.
There is for you, you little scoundrel! said he; take that, and learn
to mind your business.  Must I be eternally at your heels to remind
you of what you are to do?  Are your brains in your belly, and all
your wits in your grinders?  You are not a downright idiot.  Then why
not prevent my wants and anticipate my orders?  After this
experimental lecture, he went out for the day, leaving me in high
dudgeon at a reprimand so much in the manner of my friend the ostler,
for such a trifle as not getting up his things for the wash.

I could never learn what happened to him a short time after at a
tennis-court; but one evening he came home in a terrible heat.
Scipio, said he, I am bent on going to Italy, and must embark the day
after to-morrow on board a vessel bound for Genoa.  I have my reasons
for making this little excursion; of course you will be glad to
attend me, and to profit by so fine an opportunity of seeing the
loveliest country on the face of the earth.  My tongue gave consent;
but with a salvo in my heart, and a bargain with my revenge, to give
him the slip just at the moment of embarkation.  This was so
delightful a scheme, that I could not help imparting it to a bully by
profession, whom I met in the street.  During my abode in Seville, I
had picked up some awkward acquaintance, and this was one of the most
ungainly.  I told him how and why my ears had been boxed, and then
communicated my project of running away from Don Abel just before the
ship was to sail, begging to know what he thought of the plan.

My bluff adviser puckered his eyebrows while he listened, and fiddled
with his fingers about his whiskers: then, blaming my master very
seriously, My little hero, said he, you are eternally disgraced, can
never show your face again, if you sit down quietly with so paltry a
satisfaction as what you propose.  To let Don Abel go off by himself
would be a poor revenge for wrongs like yours; the punishment should
be proportioned to his crime.  Let us fine him to the full amount of
his purse and effects, which we will share like brothers after he is
gone.  Now, it is to be noted that though thieving fell in very
naturally with the bent of my genius, the proposal rather startled
me, as the robbery was upon a large scale for so young an apprentice.

And yet the arch deceiver of my innocence found the means of working
me up to the perpetration, so that the result of our enterprise was
as follows: This glorious ruffian, a tall, brawny fellow, came in the
evening about twilight to our lodging.  I showed my master's
travelling trunk ready packed, and asked him whether he could carry
so heavy a load upon his shoulders.  So heavy as that! said he: show
me where a transfer of property is to be made in my favor, and I
could run with Noah's ark to the top of Mount Ararat.  To prove his
words, he felt the trunk, flung it carelessly over his back, and
scampered down stairs.  I followed nimbly; and we had just got to the
street door, when Don Abel, brought home in the nick of time by the
ascendency of his lucky stars, stood like an apparition, to appall
our guilty souls.

Whither are you going with that trunk? said he.  I was so taken by
surprise, that my assurance failed me; and broad-shoulders, finding
that he had drawn a blank in the lottery, threw down his booty, and
took to his heels, rather than be troubled for an explanation.  Once
more, whither are you going with that trunk? said my master.  Sir,
answered I, with all the honest simplicity of a criminal pleading in
arrest of judgment, I was going to put it on board the vessel, that
we might have the less to do to-morrow, before we embark ourselves.
Indeed!  Then you know, retorted he, in what ship I have taken my
passage?  No, sir, replied I; but those who can talk Latin may always
find their way to Rome: I should have inquired at the port, and
somebody would have informed me.  At this explanation, which left his
opinion where it found it, he darted a furious glance at me.  I
thought, for all the world, he was going to cuff me again about the
head.  Who ordered you, cried he, to take my trunk out of this house?
You, your own self, said I.  Can you possibly have forgotten how you
rated me but a few days ago?  Did not you tell me, with a flea in my
ear, that you would have me prevent your wants, and do beforehand
from my own head whatever your service might require?  Now, not to be
threshed a second time for want of forethought, I was seeing your
trunk safe and soon enough on board.  On this the gamester, finding
that I had cut my teeth of wisdom sooner than suited his purpose,
turned me off very coolly, saying, Go about your business, Master
Scipio, and speed as you may deserve.  I do not like to play with
folks who are in the habit of revoking.  Get out of my sight, or I
shall set your solfeggio in a crying key.

I spared him the trouble of telling me to go twice.  Off I shot like
an arrow, for fear he should unfledge me by taking away my livery.
When distant enough to slacken my pace, I walked along the streets,
musing whither I might betake myself for a night's lodging, with only
two reals in my pocket.  The gate of the archbishop's palace at
length stared me in the face; and, as his grace's supper was then
dressing, a savory odor exhaled from the kitchens, impregnating the
gale with soup and sauce for a mile round.  Ods haricots and cutlets!
thought I; it would be no hard matter for me to dispense with one of
those little side dishes, which will be of no use to the archbishop
but to make out the figure of his table: nay, I would be contented
only just to dip in my four fingers and thumb, and then to sup like a
bear upon suckings.  But how to accomplish it!  Is there no way of
bringing these choice morsels to a better test than that of smell?
And why not?  Hunger, they say, will break through stone walls.  On
this idea did I set my wits to work; and, by dint of conning over the
subject, a stratagem struck me, which set my lungs as well as
appetite in motion, just as the old carpenter kept bawling, "I have
found it," like a madman, when he had hit the right nail of his
proposition on the head.  I ran into the court of the palace, and
made the best of my way to the kitchens, calling out with all my
might, "Help! help!" as if some assassin had been at my heels.

At my reiterated cries, Master Diego, the archbishop's cook, ran with
three or four kitchen drudges to learn what was the matter, and
seeing only me, asked why I roared so loud.  Ah, good sir, answered
I, with every token of exquisite distress, for mercy's sake and for
St. Polycarp's, save me, I beseech you, from the fury of a blusterer,
who swears he will kill me.  But where is this disturber of the
public peace? cried Diego.  You have no one to quarrel with but
yourself; for I do not see so much as a cat to spit at you.  Go your
ways, my little man, and do not be afraid; it is evidently some wag
who has been playing upon your cowardice for his diversion; but he
knew better than to follow you within these walls, for we would have
cut his ears off at the least.  No, no, said I, it was for no
laughing matter that he ran after me.  He is a noted footpad, and
meant to rob me; I am certain that he is now waiting for me at the
corner of the street.  Then he may wait long enough, replied the
knight of the iron spit; for you shall stay here till to-morrow.  You
shall sup with us, and we will give you a bed.

I was out of my little wits with joy at the mention of these last
tidings; and it was like the turnpike road to paradise after crossing
an Arabian desert, when, being led by Master Diego through the
kitchens, I there saw my lord archbishop's supper, and the stew-pans
in the last throes of parturition.  There were fifteen accountable
souls--for I reckoned them up--in attendance on the labor; but the
litter of dishes far outnumbered the fecundity of nature in her most
prolific mood: so much more gracious and bountiful is providence to
the heads of the church in the indulgence of their appetites, than
mindful of the worthless brute creation in the propagation of its
kind.  Here it was, at the fountain head of prelacy, inhaling an
atmosphere of gravy, instead of just snuffing the scent as it lay
upon the breeze, that I first shook hands with sensuality.  I had the
honor of supping with the scullions, and of sleeping in their
room--an initiation of friendship so sincere and strong, that on the
following day, when I went to thank Master Diego for his goodness in
vouchsafing me a refuge, he said, Our kitchen lads have been with me
in a body, to declare how excessively delighted they are with your
manners, and to propose having you among them as a fellow-servant.
How should you, on your part, like to make one of the society?  I
answered that with such a feather in my cap, I should be the vainest
and the happiest of mortals.  Then so be it, my friend, replied he;
consider yourself henceforth as a buttress of the hierarchy.  With
this invitation, he introduced me to the major-domo, who thought he
saw talent enough in me for a turnspit.

No sooner was I in possession of so honorable an office, than Master
Diego, following the practice of cooks in great houses, who pamper up
their pretty dears in private with all sorts of good things, selected
me to supply a lady in the neighborhood with a regular table of
butcher's meat, poultry, and game.  This good friend of his was a
widow on the right side of thirty, very pretty, very lively, and to
all appearance contenting herself with cupboard love for her cook.
His generous passion was not confined to furnishing her with bread,
meat, and garnish; she drank her wine too, and the archbishop was her
wine-merchant.

The improvement of my parts kept pace with that of my carnal
condition in his grace's palace, where I gave a specimen of rising
genius still ringing on the trump of fame at Seville.  The pages and
some others of the household had a mind to get up a play on my lord
archbishop's birthday.  They chose a popular Spanish tragedy, and,
wanting a boy about my age to personate the young King of Leon, cast
me for the part.  The major-domo, a great spouter, undertook to train
me for the stage, and, after a few lessons, pronounced that I should
not be the worst actor of the company.  His grace not wishing to
starve so handsome a compliment to himself, no expense was spared in
getting it up magnificently.  The largest hall in the palace was
fitted up as a theatre, with appropriate decorations.  At the side
scene there was a bed of turf, on which I was to be discovered
asleep, when the Moors were to rush in and take me prisoner.  When we
had got so forward with our rehearsals as to be sure of being ready
by the time fixed, the archbishop sent out cards of invitation to all
the principal families in the city.

At length the great, the important day arrived; and each performer
was big with the contrivance and adjustment of his dress.  Mine was
brought by a tailor, accompanied by our major-domo, who, after taking
the trouble of drilling me at rehearsal, wished to see justice done
to my outward appearance.  The tailor put me on a rich robe of blue
velvet, with hanging sleeves, gold lace, fringe, and buttons: the
major-domo himself crowned me with a pasteboard crown, studded with
false diamonds and real pearls.  Moreover, they gave me a sash of
pink silk worked in silver; so that every new ornament was like a
quill-feather in the wing of a bird.  At last, about dusk, the play
began.  The curtain drew up for my soliloquy, the purport of which
was to express, in a roundabout, poetical way, that not being able to
defend myself from the influence of sleep, I was going to lie down
and take it as it came.  To suit the action to the word, I sidled off
to the corner between the flat and the wings, and squatted down on my
bed of turf; but instead of going to sleep, according to promise, I
was hammering upon the means of getting into the street, and running
away with my coronation finery.  A little private staircase, leading
under the theatre into the lower saloon, seemed to furnish the
probability of success.  I slid away slyly, while the audience were
considering some necessary question of the play, and ran down the
staircase, through the saloon to the door, calling out, "Make way!
make way!  I must change my dress, and run up again in a moment!"
They all made a lane, for fear of hindering me; so that in less than
two minutes I got clear out of the palace, under cover of the
darkness, and scampered to the house of my friend who saw gentlemen's
trunks safe on board.

He stared like a stuck pig at my equipment!  But when I let him into
the why and the wherefore, he laughed ready to split his sides.
Then, shaking hands in the sincerity of his heart, because he
flattered himself with the hope of a pension on the King of Leon's
civil list, he wished me joy of so successful a first appearance, and
joined issue with the major-domo in the prognostic, that with
encouragement and practice I should turn out a first-rate actor, and
make no little noise in the world.  After we had diverted ourselves
for some time at the expense of my manager and audience, I said to
the bully, What shall we do with this magnificent dress?  Do not make
yourself uneasy about that, answered he.  I know an honest broker,
without an atom of curiosity in his composition, who will buy or sell
anything with any person, provided that he gets the turn of the
market upon the transaction.  I will fetch him to you to-morrow
morning.  The knowing fellow was as good as his word; for he went out
early the next day, leaving me in bed, and returned two hours
afterwards with the broker, carrying a yellow bundle under his arm.
My friend, said he, give me leave to introduce Signor Ybagnez of
Segovia, who, in spite of the bad example set him by the trade in
general, trusts to fair dealing and small profits for a moderate
pittance and an unblemished character.  He will tell you to a
fraction what the dress you want to part with is really worth, and
you may take his calculation as the balance of justice between man
and man.  O, yes! to a nicety, said the broker.  Else wherefore live
I in a Christian land, but to appraise for my neighbor as for myself?
To take a mean advantage never was, thank heaven! and at these years
never shall be imputed to Ybagnez of Segovia.  Let us look a little
at those articles!  You are the seller; I am the buyer!  We have only
to agree upon an equitable price.  Here they are, said the bully,
pulling them out: now own the truth,--was there ever anything more
magnificent?  You do not often see such velvet: and then the
trimming!  You cannot say too much of it, answered the salesman,
examining the suit with the prying eye of a dealer: it is of the very
first quality.  And what think you of the pearls upon this crown?
resumed my friend.  A little rounder, observed Ybagnez, and there
would be no setting a price upon them!  However, take them as they
are, it is a very fine set, and I do not want to find fault about
trifles.  Now, your common run of appraisers, under my circumstances,
would affect to disparage the goods for the sake of getting them
cheaper; one of those fellows would have the conscience to offer
twenty pistoles; but there is nothing like bargaining with an
upright, downright man!  I will give forty at a word; take them or
leave them.

Had Ybagnez ventured up to a hundred, he would not have burned his
fingers; for the pearls alone would have fetched two hundred
anywhere.  The bully, who went snacks, then said, Now only look!
What a mercy it is to fall into the hands of a man not of this world!
Signor Ybagnez estimates money as dross, in comparison of his
principles and his soul.  He may die to-night, and yet not be taken
unprepared!  This is too much!  You make me blush, said the salesman
of principle and soul; but so far is true, that my price is always
fixed.  Well, now, is it a bargain?  The money down upon the nail
too!  Stop a moment, answered the bully; my little friend must first
try on the clothes you have brought for him by my order: I am very
much mistaken if they will not just fit him.  The salesman then,
untying his bundle, showed me a second-hand suit of dark cloth with
silver buttons.  I got up, and got into it: too big for me every way!
but these gentlemen could have sworn it had been made to my measure.
Ybagnez put it at ten pistoles; and as he was an upright, downright
man, of fixed principle and soul, estimating money as dross in
comparison of integrity, his first price was of course his last.  He
therefore took out his purse, and counted down thirty pistoles upon a
table; after which he packed up the King of Leon's regalia, and went
his way.

When he was gone, the bully said, I am very well satisfied with that
broker.  And so he well might be; for I am certain he must have
received at least a hundred pistoles as hush-money.  But there was no
reason why the broker's benevolence should pay the debts of my
gratitude: so he took half the money on the table, without saying
with your leave or by your leave, and suffered me to pocket the
remainder, with the following advice: My dear Scipio, with that
balance of fifteen pistoles, I would have you get out of this town as
fast as you can; for you may suppose that my lord archbishop will
ferret you out if you are above ground.  It would grieve me to the
heart if, after having risen so superior to the prejudice of honesty,
you had the weakness to fall foul of what alone keeps it afloat--the
house of correction.  I answered that it was my fixed purpose to make
myself scarce at Seville, and accordingly, after buying a hat and
some shirts, I travelled through vineyards and olive groves to the
ancient city of Carmona; and in three days afterwards arrived at
Cordova.

I put up at an inn close by the market-place, giving myself out for
the heir of a good family at Toledo, travelling for his pleasure.  My
appearance did not belie the story, and a few pistoles, which I
contrived carelessly to chink within the landlord's hearing, pinned
his faith upon my veracity.  Probably my unfledged youth might lead
him to take me for some graceless little truant who had robbed his
parents and run away.  But that was no concern of his: he took the
thing just as I gave it him, for fear lest his curiosity should clash
with my continuance at his house.  For six reals a day one could live
like a gentleman at this inn, where there was generally a
considerable concourse of company.  About a dozen people sat down at
supper.  It was whimsical enough; but the whole party plied their
knives and forks without speaking a word, except one man, who talked
incessantly, right or wrong, and made up for the silence of the rest
by his eternal babble.  He affected to be a wit, to tell a good
story, and took great pains to make the good folks merry by his puns;
and accordingly they did laugh most inextinguishably; but it was at
him, not with him.

For my part I paid so little attention to the talk of this rattle,
that I should have got up from table without knowing what it was all
about, if he had not brought it home to my business and my bosom.
Gentlemen, cried he, just as supper was over, I have kept my best
story for the last; a very droll thing happened within these few days
at the archbishop of Seville's palace.  I had it from a young fellow
of my acquaintance, who assures me that he was present at the time.
These words made my heart jump up into my throat, for I had no doubt
of this being my exploit--and so it turned out.  This pleasant
gentleman related the facts as they actually happened, and even
carried the adventure to its conclusion, of which I was as yet
ignorant: but now you shall be made as wise as myself.

No sooner had I absconded, than the Moors, who were, according to the
progress of the fable and the rising of the interest, to lay violent
hands on me, appeared upon the stage, for the fell purpose of
surprising me on my bed of turf, where the author had given them
reason to expect me fast asleep; but when they thought they were just
going to capot the King of Leon, they found, to their surprise, that
both the king and the knave made a trick against them.  Here was a
hole in the ballad!  The actors all lost their cue; some of them
called me by name, others ran to look for me: here is a fellow
bawling as though his bellows would burst, there stands another
muttering to himself about the devil, just as if that reptile could
stand upright in such a presence!  The archbishop, perceiving trouble
and confusion to lord it behind the scenes, asked what was the
matter.  At the sound of the prelate's voice, a page, who was the
fiddle of the piece, came to the front and spoke thus: My lord
archbishop, ladies, and gentlemen!  We are extremely sorry to inform
you, as players, but extremely glad, as men and Christians, that the
King of Leon is at present in no danger whatever of being taken
prisoner by the Moors: he has adopted effectual measures for the
security of his royal person; and to the royal person, as liberty
avails little without property, he has irrevocably attached the
crown, insignia, and robes.  And a happy deliverance for himself and
Christendom! exclaimed the archbishop.  He has done perfectly right
to escape from the enemies of our religion, and to burst from the
bonds in which their malice would have laid him.  By this time,
probably, he has reached the confines of his kingdom, or may have
entered the capital.  May no unlucky accident have retarded him on
his journey!  And that the sin of none such may lie heavy on my
conscience, I beg leave very positively to make my pleasure known
that he may proceed unmolested by any interruption from this quarter;
I should be highly mortified, indeed, if his majesty's pious
endeavors were to be frustrated by the slightest indignity from the
ministers of that religion in whose cause he labors and suffers.  The
prelate, having thus declared his acquiescence in the motives of my
flight, ordered my part to be read, and the play to be resumed.




_CHAPTER XI._

_CONTINUATION OF SCIPIO'S STORY._

As long as I had money in my purse, my landlord was cap in hand; but
the moment he began to suspect that the funds were low, he became
high and mighty, picked a German quarrel with me, and one morning,
before breakfast, begged it as a favor of me to march out of his
house.  I followed his counsel as proudly as you please, and betook
me to a church belonging to the fathers of St. Dominic, where, while
mass was performing, an old beggar accosted me on the usual topic of
alms.  I dropped some small change into his hat, which was truly the
orphan's mite, saying, at the same time, My friend, remember in your
prayers to mention a situation for me; if your petition is heard with
favor, it shall be all the better for you; hearty thanks and a
handsome poundage!

At these words, the beggar surveyed me up and down, from head to
foot, and answered, in a grave tone, What place would you wish to
have?  I should like, replied I, to be footman in some family where I
should do well.  He inquired whether the matter pressed.  With all
possible importunity, said I; for unless I have the good luck to get
settled very soon, the alternative will be horrible; death by the
gripe of absolute famine, or a livelihood in the ranks of your
fraternity.  If the latter were, after all, to be your lot, resumed
he, it certainly would be rather hard upon you, who have not been
brought up to our habits of life; but, with a little use and
practice, you would prefer our condition to service, which,
partiality apart, is far less respectable than the beggar's vocation.
Nevertheless, since you like a menial occupation better than leading
a free and independent life like me, you shall have a berth without
more ado.  Mean as my appearance is, you must not measure my power by
it.  Meet me here at the same hour to-morrow.

I took care to keep the appointment.  Though at the spot before the
time, I had not long to wait before the beggar joined me, and told me
to follow him.  I did so.  He led me to a cellar not far from the
church, where he resided.  We went in together, and sitting down on a
long bench, at least a hundred years the worse for wear, the
conversation took this turn on his part: A good action, as the
proverb says, always meets with its reward; you gave me alms
yesterday, and that has determined me to get you a place, which shall
be soon done, with a blessing on my endeavors.  I know an old
Dominican, by name Father Alexis, a holy monk, a ghostly confessor.
I have the honor to do all his little odd jobs, performing my task
with so much discretion and good faith, that he always lends his
interest to me and my friends.  I have spoken to him about you, and
in such terms as to prepossess him in your favor.  You may be
introduced to his reverence whenever you please.

There is not a moment to be lost, said I to the old beggar; let us go
to the good monk immediately.  The mendicant agreed, and led me by
the arm to Father Alexis, whom we found in his room, hard at work,
writing spiritual letters.  He broke off to talk with me.  As it was
the wish of the mendicant, he would do all in his power to serve me.
Having learned, pursued he, that Signor Balthasar Velasquez is in
want of a footboy, I wrote to him this morning on your behalf, and he
just sent me for answer, that he would take you without further
inquiry on my recommendation.  This very day you may call on him from
me; he is one of my flock, and my very good friend.  Thereupon the
monk preached to me for three quarters of an hour on my moral and
religious duties, and how to fulfil them in conscience and honor.  He
enlarged principally on the obligation of serving Velasquez with
diligence and devotion, and then assured me that he would take care
and keep me in my place, provided my master had no very material
fault to find with me.

After having thanked the holy person for his goodness towards me, I
left the convent with the beggar, who told me that Signor Balthasar
Velasquez was an old woollen-draper, but with much simplicity and
good nature in his character.  I doubt not, added he, but you will be
perfectly comfortable in his house.  I begged to know his place of
residence, and repaired thither immediately, after promising to make
my gratitude manifest as soon as I had taken root in my new soil.  I
went into a large shop, where two fashionable young apprentices were
walking up and down, practising new grimaces against the entrance of
the next customer.  I inquired whether their master was at home,
saying that I wanted to speak with him from Father Alexis.  At that
venerable name they showed me into the counting-house, where their
principal was turning over the ledger.  I made a low bow, and coming
up to him, Sir, said I, Father Alexis ordered me to call here and
offer myself as a servant to your honor.  Ah! my smart lad, answered
he, you are heartily welcome.  It is enough that the holy man sent
you; and I shall take you in preference to three or four others who
have been recommended.  It is a clear case; your wages begin from
this day.

A very short time in the family convinced me that the head of it was
just such a man as he had been described.  In point of simplicity he
was every thing that could be wished; so exquisite a subject for
imposition, that it seemed next to an impossibility not to exercise
my craft upon such a handle.  He had been a widower four years, and
had two children, a son of five-and-twenty, and a daughter in her
eleventh year.  The girl, brought up by a severe duenna, under the
spiritual conduct of Father Alexis, walked in the high road of
virtue; but her brother, Gaspard Velasquez, though no pains had been
spared to make a good man of him, picked out for himself all the
vices of a young profligate.  Sometimes he staid away from home two
or three days together; and if, on his return, his father ventured to
remonstrate in the least against his proceedings, Gaspard shut his
mouth at once, with a haughty toss of the head and an impertinent
answer.

Scipio, said the old man one day, my son is the plague of my life.
He is over head and ears in all kinds of debauchery: and yet there is
no accounting for it, since his education was by no means neglected.
I have given him the very best masters; and my friend Father Alexis
has done his utmost to train him up in the way he should go; but
there was no breaking him in; Master Gaspard ran restive, and bolted
into downright libertinism.  You may perhaps tell me that I spared
the rod and spoiled the child.  Quite otherwise! he was punished
whenever the occasion seemed to demand it; for, though good-tempered
at bottom, I am not to be played upon.  I have even gone so far as to
lock him up; but that only made him more headstrong than before.  In
short, he is one of those impracticable beings, on whom good example,
good advice, and a good horsewhip, are equally thrown away.  If ever
he makes any figure in the world, it must be by a miracle from heaven.

Though my heart was not grievously wrung by the sorrows of this
unhappy father, sympathy was expected from me, and I condoled with
him accordingly.  How much to be pitied you are, sir! said I.
Virtues like yours deserve to have been handed down in your progeny.
The event is quite the reverse, my good lad, answered he.  Heaven
heard my prayer, and gave me a son, but converted the blessing into
an affliction.  Among other grounds of complaint against Gaspard, I
may tell you, in confidence, there is one which gives me a great deal
of uneasiness; a vast longing to rob his old father, which he too
often finds the means of satisfying, in spite of all my caution.
Your predecessor played into his hands, and was turned away in
consequence.  As for you, I flatter myself that my son will never be
able to tamper with your honesty.  You will take my side of the
question; for doubtless Father Alexis has given you your lesson on
that head.  You may rest assured of that, said I: for a good long
hour did his reverence lecture me on doing your will and pleasure
without let or hinderance; but I can assure you there was no need of
his saying anything about the matter.  I feel within myself a sort of
call to serve you faithfully, and I promise to do it with a zeal
beyond all the temptations of the world to shake or lessen.

He who only hears one side is in danger of deciding partially.  Young
Velasquez, a mixture of the fribble and the braggart, concluding from
the cut of my countenance that I was made up of mortal frailty, like
my predecessor, drew me aside to a snug corner, and there talked to
me after this fashion: Now mind what is said to you, my dear fellow;
you may think I do not know that you are set as a spy upon me by my
father; but take especial care how you proceed, for I can assure you
most sincerely, that the office is not without very considerable
inconvenience to those who undertake it.  If ever I find that you
tell tales out of school, I will give you such a basting as you never
had in your life; but if you will make common cause with me, and a
fool of my father, you may buy golden returns of gratitude from your
humble servant.  Do you wish me to deal with you upon the nail?  You
shall go snacks in all that we can squeeze out of the old fellow.
You have only to take your choice: fall at once into the ranks either
of father or son; for neutrals will come worst off, where the
contending parties fight for their existence.

Sir, answered I, you make the shoe pinch very tight; it is
self-evident that there is nothing for me to do but to enlist under
your banners, though in my conscience it seems like a crying sin to
betray Signor Velasquez.  That is no concern of yours, rejoined
Gaspard; he is an old hunks, who wants to keep me under his thumb; a
curmudgeon, who refuses me the rights of nature, in refusing to stand
to the expenses and repairs of my pleasures; for pleasured are the
necessaries of life at five-and-twenty.  It is in this point of view
that you must form your opinion of my father.  If that is the case,
so be it, sir, said I; there is no standing against so just a subject
of complaint.  I am quite at your service to play second fiddle in
all your laudable enterprises; but let us take especial care to
conceal our good understanding, for fear, your faithful, humble
servant should be kicked out of doors.  It will not be amiss, in my
poor opinion, for you to affect an extreme antipathy against me: some
good round of abuse would have a very pretty effect; you need not be
nice; all the blackguard terms in the dictionary will come at your
call.  Nay, a box on the ear now and then, or a kick on the breech,
will break no squares; on the contrary, the more you express your
thorough dislike, the more Signor Balthasar will pin his faith upon
my sleeve.  My cue will be, apparently, to avoid speaking to you if
possible.  In waiting at table, I shall perform my little attentions
to you at arm's length; and whenever your honor may happen to be
called over the coals by the shopmen, you must not take it amiss if I
abuse you worse than a pickpocket.

As plain as chalk from cheese! cried young Velasquez at this last
hint; this is admirable, my friend; at your early age it is uncommon
to meet with such a talent for intrigue; I consider it as a most
happy omen for my purpose.  With such a performer to play up to me, I
flatter myself the old codger will be pinched to the bone and left
penniless.  You really carry your good opinion of me beyond what my
merit will justify, said I; some industry may fall to my share, but
not such exalted genius.  But I shall do my utmost; and if my honest
endeavors fail, your candor must find excuses for my imbecility.

It was not long before Gaspard had proof positive that I was to a
hair's breadth the very man he wanted; and the following was
precisely the first trick I played into his hand.  Balthasar's strong
box was in the good man's chamber, by his bed-side, a sort of
oratory, with a prayer-book always lying upon it.  Every time I
looked that way, my eyes glistened with hope and pleasure; my heart
chuckled over the very idea of what might happen: Fair, sweet, cruel
box, will you forever be coy to my addresses?  May I never experience
the heartfelt delight of possessing all your charms for better, for
worse?  As I went into the room at pleasure, and only Gaspard was
warned off the premises, it happened one day that I watched his
father.  The old gentleman, fancying himself unobserved of human eye,
after having opened his treasury and closed it fast again, hid the
key behind the hangings.  I took an accurate observation of the
place, and communicated the discovery to my young master, who said,
with an improving hug, Ah! my dear Scipio, what glorious news you
bring!  Our fortune is made, my dear fellow.  I will furnish you with
wax; you shall take the impression of the key, and then our business
is done.  There will be no difficulty in finding a benevolent
locksmith in Cordova, where, to do the place justice, there are as
many rogues as in any part of Spain.

Well! but why, said I to Gaspard, do you want a false key?  We may
find our account in the proper one.  Yes, answered he; but I am
afraid lest my father, through mistrust or whim, should take a fancy
to hiding it elsewhere; and the safest way is, to have one of our
own.  I commended his precaution, and falling in with all his
principles, got ready for taking the impression of the key: this was
effected one morning early, while my old master was paying a visit to
father Alexis, with whom he for the most part held very long
conferences.  I did not stop here, but availed myself of the key to
open the strong box, wherein an ample range of large and small bags
threw me into the most delightful perplexity imaginable.  I did not
know which to choose, there was such a family likeness among them;
nevertheless, as the fear of being caught did not allow of any long
deliberation, I laid hands, hap-hazard, on the largest.  Then,
locking the box carefully, and putting the key back again behind the
hangings, I got away out of the chamber with my booty, and hid it
under my bed, in a small closet where I lay.

Having performed this exploit so successfully, I ran back as fast as
my legs would carry me to young Velasquez, who was waiting at a house
where he had given me notice to meet him, and his delight was extreme
at the recital of what I had just done.  He was so fully satisfied
with me, as to lavish caresses without number, and to offer me
thrice, in the fulness of his heart, half the contents of the bag,
which I did thrice refuse.  No, no, sir, said I; this first bag is
yours, and yours only; apply it to your own uses and occasions, I
shall return forthwith to the strong box, where, as our lucky stars
have contrived it, there is money enough for both of us.
Accordingly, three days afterwards I carried off a second bag,
containing, like the first, five hundred crowns, of which I would
only handle the fourth part, let Gaspard be as pressing as he pleased
to force upon me a brotherly division, share and share alike.

As soon as this young man found himself so flush of money, and
consequently in a condition to gratify his hankering after women and
play, he gave himself up entirely to the devices of his own
imagination; nay, his evil genius pursued him so far as to make him
fall desperately in love with one of those female harpies, who devour
without remorse or intermission, and swallow up the largest fortunes.
His disbursements at her instigation were frightful; and thus it
became necessary for me to pay so many visits to the strong box, that
old Velasquez at length found out he had been robbed.  Scipio, said
he one morning, I must give you a piece of information; some one robs
me, my friend; my strong box has been opened; several bags have been
taken out; that is a certain fact.  Whom ought I to accuse of this
theft? or rather, who else but my son can have committed it?  Gaspard
must have got by stealth into my chamber, or else you yourself must
have played booty with him; for I am tempted to believe you are in
league with him, though to outward appearance you do not set up your
horses together.  And yet I am unwilling to harbor that suspicion,
because Father Alexis undertook to answer for your honesty.  I gave
him to understand that, by the blessing of heaven on a good natural
disposition, my neighbors' goods had no temptation in my sight; and I
so happily suited the action to the lie, and the lie to the action,
that my judge pronounced a verdict of acquittal on the evidence of
grimace and hypocrisy.

Accordingly the old man dropped the subject; but for all that, there
was a general misgiving in his breast, and it would sometimes light
upon me: taking precautions, therefore, against our further attacks,
he had a new lock put to his strong box, and always carried the key
in his pocket.  By these means, an embargo being laid on our traffic
with the bags, we looked excessively foolish, especially Gaspard,
who, being unable any longer to keep his nymph in her usual style,
knew very well that he was likely to be tossed out of her window.  He
had, however, invention enough to devise an expedient for keeping his
head above water a few days longer; and that was neither more nor
less than to get into his clutches, in the form of a loan, my
dividend on the joint stock of the strong box.  I refunded to the
last farthing; and this restitution, it is to be hoped, may be set
off as an anticipated act of justice to the old draper, in the person
of his heir.

The young man, having exhausted this scanty supply, and desperate of
any other, fell into a deep melancholy, and into ultimate
derangement.  He no longer looked on his father in any other light
than as the bane of his life..  His frenzy broke out into the most
dreadful projects; so that, without listening to the voice of
consanguinity or nature, the wretch conceived the impious design of
poisoning him.  He was not content with making me privy to the
atrocious design, but even proposed to render me the instrument of
parricide.  At the very thought, my blood ran cold within me.  Sir,
said I, is it possible that you are so rejected of heaven as to have
formed this horrid plot?  What! is it in your nature to murder the
author of your existence?  Shall Spain, the favored abode of the
Christian faith, bear witness to the commission of a crime, at the
first blush of.  which transatlantic savages would recoil with
horror?  No, my dear master, added I, throwing myself on my knees,
no, you will not be guilty of an action which would raise the hand of
all mankind against you, and be overtaken by an infamous punishment.

I pressed many arguments beside on Gaspard, to dissuade him from so
fearful an enterprise.  How the deuce I came by all the moral and
religious topics which I brought to act against the fortress of his
despair, is more than I can account for; but it is certain that I
preached like a doctor of Salamanca, though a mere stripling, born of
a gypsy fortune-teller.  And yet it was to no purpose that I
suggested the duty of communing with his own better resolutions, and
stoutly wrestling with the fiend who was lying in wait for his
immortal soul; my pious eloquence was dissipated into air.  His head
hung sullenly on his bosom, and his tongue uttered no sound, in
answer to all my mollifying exhortations, so that there was every
reason to conclude he would not swerve from his purpose.

Hereupon, taking my own measures, I requested a private interview
with my old master; and being closeted with him, Sir, said I, allow
me to throw myself at your feet, and to implore your pity.  In
pathetic accord with my moving accents, I prostrated myself before
him, with my face all bathed in tears.  The merchant, surprised at
what he saw and heard, asked the cause of my distress.  Remorse of
conscience and repentance, answered I; but neither repentance nor
remorse can ever wash out my guilt.  I have been weak enough to give
ear to your son, and to be his accomplice in robbing you.  To this
confession I added a sincere acknowledgment of all that had happened,
with the particulars of my late conversation with Gaspard, whose
design I laid open without the least reserve.

Bad as was the opinion which old Velasquez entertained of his son, he
could scarcely believe his ears.  Nevertheless, finding no good
reason to distrust the truth of my account, Scipio, said he, raising
me from the ground, where I had till now been prostrate at his feet,
I forgive you in consideration of the important notice you have
communicated.  Gaspard! pursued he, raising his voice up to the
loudness of anguish, does Gaspard aim a blow at my life?  Ah!
ungrateful son, unnatural monster! better thou hadst never been born,
or stifled at thy birth, than to have been reared for the destruction
of thy father!  What plea, what object, what palliation of the
atrocious deed?  I furnished thee annually with a reasonable
allowance for thy pleasures, and what wouldst thou have more?  Must I
have drained my fortune to the dregs to support thee in thy
extravagance?  Having vented his feelings in this bitter apostrophe,
he enjoined secrecy on me, and told me to leave him alone, while he
considered how to act in so delicate a conjuncture.

I was very anxious to know what resolution this unhappy father would
take, when on that very day he sent for Gaspard, and addressed him
thus, without betraying the inward emotions of his heart: My son, I
have received a letter from Merida, purporting that if you are
disposed to marry, you may make a match with a very fine girl of
fifteen, with a handsome fortune in her pocket.  If you have not
forsworn that happy and holy estate, we will set out to-morrow
morning by daybreak for Merida: you will see the lady in question,
and if she hits your fancy, the business may soon be settled.
Gaspard, pricking up his ears at a handsome fortune, and already
fingering the cash by anticipation, answered unhesitatingly that he
was ready to undertake the journey; and accordingly they departed the
following day at sunrise, without attendants, mounted on good mules.

Having reached the mountains of Fesira, in a delightful spot for the
operations of banditti, but terror-stirring to the timid souls of
travellers, Balthasar dismounted, and desired his son to do likewise.
The young man obeyed, but expressed his surprise at such a
requisition, in so lonely a place.  I will tell you the reason
presently, answered the old man, darting at him a look of mingled
grief and anger: We are not going to Merida; and the alleged
courtship was only an invention of mine, for the purpose of drawing
you hither.  I am not ignorant, ungrateful and unnatural son, I am
not uninformed of your meditated crime.  I am aware that a poison,
prepared by your hands, was to have been administered to me; but, mad
as you are, could it enter into your contemplation that my life could
have been invaded with impunity by such means?  How fatally mistaken!
Your crime would soon have been detected, and you would have perished
under the hands of the executioner.  There is a safer way of glutting
your fell malice, without exposing yourself to an ignominious death;
we are here without witnesses, and in a place where daily murders are
perpetrated; since you are so thirsty after my blood, plunge your
dagger into my bosom: the assassination will naturally be laid at the
door of some banditti.  After these words, Balthasar, laying his
breast bare, and pointing to his heart, ended with this challenge:
Here, Gaspard, strike deep enough, strike home; make me pay that
forfeit for having engendered such a disgrace to human nature, and no
more than what is due to so monstrous a production.

Young Velasquez, struck by this reproach as by a thunderbolt, far
from pleading in his own justification, fell instantly lifeless at
his father's feet.  The good old man, hailing the germ of repentance
in this unfeigned testimony of shame, could not help yielding to
paternal weakness; he made all possible haste to give his assistance;
but Gaspard had no sooner recovered the use of his senses, than,
unable to stand in the presence of a father so justly offended, he
made an effort to raise himself from the ground, then sprang upon his
mule, and galloped out of sight without saying one word.  Balthasar
suffered him to take his own course, and returned to Cordova, little
doubting but conscience would play its part in revenging his wrongs.
Six months afterwards it appeared that the culprit had thrown himself
into the Carthusian convent at Seville, there to pass the remnant of
his days in penance.




_CHAPTER XII._

_CONCLUSION OF SCIPIO'S STORY._

Bad example sometimes produces the converse of itself.  The behavior
of young Velasquez made me think seriously on my own predicament.  I
began to wrestle with my thievish propensities, and to live like one
of the better sort.  A confirmed habit of pouncing upon money
wherever I could get it, had been contracted by such a long
succession of individual acts, that it was no easy matter to say
where it should stop.  And yet I was in hopes to accomplish my own
reformation, under the idea that to become virtuous, a man had
nothing to do but to contract the desire of being so.  I therefore
undertook this great work, and heaven seemed to smile upon my
efforts.  I left off eying the old draper's strong box with the
carnal regard of avaricious longing: nay, I verily believe, that if
it had depended on my own will and pleasure to have turned over the
contents to my own use, I should have abstained from the crime of
picking and stealing.  It must, however, be admitted, that it would
have been an unadvisable measure to tempt my new-born integrity with
meats too strong for its stomach; and Velasquez was nurse enough to
keep me on a proper diet.

Don Manriquez de Medrano, a young gentleman, knight of Alcantara, was
in the habit of coming backwards and forwards to our house.  He was a
customer, one of our principal in point of rank, if not punctual in
point of pay.  I had the happiness to find favor with this knight,
who never met me without that sort of notice which encouraged
conversation, and with that conversation he appeared always to be
very much pleased.  Scipio, said he, one day, if I had a footman of
your kidney, it would be as good as a fortune to me; and if you were
not in the service of a man who stands so high in my regards, I
should make no scruple about enticing you away.  Sir, answered I, you
would have very little trouble in succeeding; for I am distractedly
partial to people of fashion; it is my weak side; their free and easy
manners fascinate me to the extreme of folly.  That being the case,
replied Don Manriquez, I will at once beg Signor Balthasar to turn
you over from his household to mine: he will scarcely refuse me such
a request.  Accordingly Velasquez was kind and complying, with so
much the less violence to his own private feelings, as there seemed
no reason to think, that if a man parted with one knavish servant, he
might not easily get another in his place.  To me the change was all
for the better, since a tradesman's service appeared but a beggarly
condition, in comparison with the office of own man to a knight of
Alcantara.

To draw a faithful likeness of my new master, I must describe him as
a gentleman possessing every requisite of person, figure, manners,
and disposition.  Nor was that all; for his courage and honor were
equal to his other qualities: the goods of fortune were the only good
things he wanted; but being the younger son of a family more
distinguished by descent than opulence, he was obliged to draw for
his expenses on an old aunt living at Toledo, who loved him as her
own child, and administered to his occasions with affectionate
liberality.  He was always well dressed, and everywhere well
received.  He visited the principal ladies in the city, and among
others the Marchioness of Almenara.  She was a widow of seventy-two,
but the centre of attraction to all the fashionable society of
Cordova, by the elegance of her manners and the sprightliness of her
conversation: men as well as women laid themselves out for an
introduction, because her parties conferred at once on the
frequenters the patent of good company.

My master was one of that lady's most assiduous courtiers.  After
leaving her one evening, his spirits seemed to be more elevated than
was natural to him.  Sir, said I, you are evidently in a good deal of
agitation; may your faithful servant ask on what account?  Has
anything happened out of the common way?  The young gallant smiled at
so home a question, and owned candidly that he had just been engaged
in a serious conversation with the Marchioness of Almenara.  I will
lay a wager, said I, laughing outright, that this moppet of
threescore and ten, this girl in her second childhood, has been
unfolding to you all the secret movements of a tender, susceptible
heart.  Do not make a jest of it, answered he; for the fact is, my
friend, that the marchioness is seriously in love with me.  She told
me that the narrowness of my circumstances was as well known to her
as the nobility of my birth; that she had taken a liking to me, and
was determined to place me at my ease by marriage, since she could
not decently lay her fortune at my feet on any other terms.  That
this marriage would expose her to public ridicule, she professed to
have considered; that scandal would be busy at her expense; in short,
that she should pass for an old fool with an ambitious eye and a
lickerish constitution.  No matter for that!  She was not to be awed
from the career of her humor by quips and sentences: her only alarm
was, lest I should either make sport of her intentions, or torment
her more grievously by my aversion.

Such, continued the knight, was the substance of the marchioness's
declaration, and I am the more astonished at it because she is the
most prudent and sensible woman in Cordova; wherefore I answered by
expressing my surprise at her honoring me with the offer of her hand,
since she had hitherto persisted in her resolution of remaining in a
state of widowhood.  To this she replied, that having a considerable
fortune, it would give her pleasure to share it in her lifetime with
a man of honor to whom she was attached.  To all appearance, then,
rejoined I, you have made up your mind to take a lover's leap.  Can
you doubt about that? answered he.  The marchioness is immensely
rich, with excellent qualities both of head and heart.  It would be
the extreme of folly and fastidiousness to let so advantageous a
settlement slip through my fingers.

I entirely approved my master's purpose of profiting by so fine an
opportunity to make his fortune, and even advised him to bring the
matter to a short issue, for fear of a change in the wind.  Happily
the lady had the business more at heart than myself; her orders were
given so effectually, that the necessary forms and ceremonies were
soon got over.  When it became known in Cordova that the old
Marchioness of Almenara was getting herself ready to be the bride of
young Don Manriquez de Medrano, the wits began breaking their odd
quirks and remnants in derision of the widow; but though she heard
her own detractions, she did not put them to mending; the town might
talk as they pleased; for when she said she would die a widow, she
did not think to live till she were married.  The wedding was
solemnized with a publicity and splendor which furnished fresh food
for evil tongues.  The bride, said they, might at least have had the
modesty to dispense with noise and ostentation, so unbecoming in an
old widow who marries a young husband.

The marchioness, far enough from yielding to the suggestions of shame
at her own inconsistency, or the disparity of their ages, yielded
herself up without constraint to the expression of the most lively
joy.  She gave a grand concert and supper, with a ball afterwards,
and invited all the principal families in Cordova.  Just before the
close of the ball, the new-married couple disappeared, and were shown
to an apartment, where, with no other witnesses but her own maid and
myself, she spoke to my master in these terms: Don Manriquez, this is
your apartment; mine is in another part of the house: we will pass
the night in separate rooms, and will live together by day like
mother and son.  At first the knight did not know what to make of
this; he thought that the lady was only trying his temper, as if her
coldness must be wooed to kindness, and her love, like her pardon,
not unsought, be won.  Imagining, therefore, that good manners
required, at least, the show of passion, he made his advances, and
offered, according to the laws of amorous suit enacted in such cases,
to assist in the disencumbering duties of her toilet; but, so far
from allowing him to interfere with the province of her servant, she
pushed him back with a serious air, saying, Hold, Don Manriquez; if
you take me for one of those sweet-toothed old women who marry a
second time from mere incontinence, you do me a manifest injustice:
my proposals were not fraught with conditions of hard service as the
tenure of our nuptial contract; the gift of my heart was unmixed with
sensual dross, and your gratitude is only drawn upon for returns of
pure and platonic friendship.  After this explanation, she left my
master and me in our apartment, and withdrew to her own with her
attendant, forbidding the bridegroom, in the most positive manner, to
attempt retiring with her.

After her departure, it was some time before we recovered from our
surprise at what we had just heard.  Scipio, said my master, could
you ever have believed that the marchioness would have talked in such
a strain?  What think you of so philosophic a bride?  I think, sir,
answered I, that she is a phoenix among the brood of hymen.  It is
for all the world like a good living without parochial duties.  For
my part, replied Don Manriquez, there is nothing so much to my taste
as a wife of modest pretensions; and I mean to make her amends for
the trophy she has raised to unadulterated esteem by all the delicate
attentions in my power to pay.  We kept up the subject of the lady's
moderation till it was full time to separate.  My quarters were fixed
in an anteroom with a book-case bedstead; my master's in an elegant
bed-chamber with every appurtenance except one: but however necessary
it might be to play the disappointed bridegroom, I am much mistaken
if in the bottom of his soul he was half so much afraid of sleeping
by himself as of being encumbered with a bedfellow.

The rejoicings began again on the following day, and the bride was so
jocund on the occasion, that the bolts of the fools among her
visitors were not soon shot.  She was the first to laugh at all their
pointless jokes; nay, she even set the little wits to work, by giving
them an example of pleasantry, which they were very little able to
follow.  The happy man, on his part, seemed to be very little less
happy than his partner; and one would have sworn, judging by the
glance of satisfaction which accompanied his language and deportment,
that he liked mutton better than lamb.  This well-matched pair had a
second conversation in the evening; and then it was decided that,
without interfering in the least with one another, they should live
together just on the same footing as they had lived before marriage.
At all events, much credit must be given to Don Manriquez on one
account: he did, from delicate consideration towards his wife, what
few husbands would have done under his circumstances, for he
discarded a little seamstress of whom he was very fond, and who was
very fond of him, because he did not choose to keep up a connection
insulting to the feelings of a lady so studious of his.

While he was furnishing such unusual testimonies of gratitude to his
elderly benefactress, she overpaid and doubly paid her debt of
obligation, even without diving into its nature or extent.  She gave
him the master key of her strong box, which was better provided than
that of Velasquez.  Though she had reduced her establishment during
widowhood, it was now replaced upon the same footing as in the
lifetime of her first husband; the complement of household servants
was enlarged, the stud and equipages were in the very first style; in
a word, by her generosity and kindness, the most beggarly knight
belonging to the order of Alcantara became the most moneyed member of
the fraternity.  You may perhaps be disposed to ask me how much I was
in pocket by all that; and my answer is, fifty pistoles from my
mistress, and a hundred from my master, who, moreover, appointed me
his secretary, with a salary of four hundred crowns; nay, his
confidence was so unbounded, that I was fixed on to fill the office
of treasurer.

Treasurer! cried I, interrupting Scipio at the very idea, and
bursting into an immoderate fit of laughter.  Yes, sir, replied he,
with a cool, unflinching seriousness; you are perfectly
right--treasurer was the word; and I may venture to say that the
duties of the office were executed without the slightest occasion for
a committee of inquiry.  True it is that the balance may be somewhat
against me, for I was always in the habit of overdrawing my wages;
and as the firm was dissolved somewhat suddenly, it is by no means
impossible that the balance of my cash account might be on the wrong
side: but, at all events, it was my last slip; and since that time my
ways have been ways of uprightness and honesty.

Thus was I, continued this son of a gypsy, secretary and treasurer to
Don Manriquez, who, to all appearance, was as happy in me as I in
him, when he received a letter from Toledo, announcing that his aunt,
Donna Theodora Moscoso, was on her last legs.  He was so much
affected by the news as to set out instantly and pay his duty to that
lady, who had been more than a mother to him for several years.  I
attended him on the journey with only two under-servants; we were all
mounted on the best horses in the stable, and reached Toledo without
loss of time, where we found Donna Theodora in a state to warrant our
hopes that she would not, at present, weigh anchor on her
outward-bound voyage; and, in fact, our judgment on her case, though
point blank in contradiction to that of an old physician who attended
her, proved by the event that we knew at least as much of the matter
as he did.

While the health of our venerable relative was improving from day to
day, less, perhaps, from the effect of the prescriptions than in
consequence of her dear nephew's presence, your worthy friend the
treasurer passed his time in the pleasantest manner possible, with
some young people whose acquaintance was admirably calculated to
ventilate the confined cash in his pocket.  Sometimes they enticed me
to the tennis-court, and took me in for a game: on those occasions,
not being quite so steady a player as my master Don Abel, I lost much
oftener than I won.  By degrees play became a passion with me; and if
the taste had been suffered to gain complete possession, it would
doubtless have laid me under the necessity of drawing bills of
accommodation on the family bank; but happily love stepped in, and
saved the credit both of the bank and of my principles.  One day,
passing along near the church of the Epiphany, I espied, through a
lattice with the drapery drawn up, a young girl who might well be
called a thing divine, for nothing natural was ever seen so lovely.
I would lay on my compliment still thicker, if words were not wanting
to express the effect of her first appearance upon my mind.  I set my
wits to work, and by dint of diligent inquiry, learned that her name
was Beatrice, and that she was waiting-maid to Donna Julia, younger
daughter of the Count de Polan.

Beatrice broke in upon the thread of Scipio's story by laughing
immoderately: then, directing her speech to my wife, Charming
Antonia, said she, do but just look at me, I beseech you, and then
say truly whether I could be likened to a thing divine.  You might at
that time, to my enamoured sight, said Scipio; and, since your
conjugal faith is no longer under a cloud, my visual appetite
increases by what it feeds on.  It was a pretty compliment! and my
secretary, having fired it off, pursued his narrative as follows:--

This intelligence kindled the flame of passion within me; but not, it
must be confessed, a flame which could be acknowledged without a
blush.  I took it for granted that my triumph over her scruples would
be easy, if my biddings were high enough to command the ordinary
market of female chastity; but Beatrice was a pearl beyond price.  In
vain did I solicit her, through the channel of some intriguing
gossips, with the offer of my purse and of my most tender attentions;
she rejected all my proposals with disdain.  I had recourse to the
lover's last remedy, and offered her my hand, which she deigned to
accept on the strength of my being secretary and treasurer to Don
Manriquez.  As it seemed expedient to keep our marriage secret for
some time, the ceremony was performed privately, in presence of Dame
Lorenza Sephora, Seraphina's governess, and before some others of the
Count de Polan's household.  After our happy union, Beatrice
contrived the means of our meeting by day, and passing some part of
every night together in the garden, whither I repaired through a
little gate of which she gave me a key.  Never were man and wife
better pleased with each other than Beatrice and myself: with equal
impatience did we watch for the hour of our appointment; with
congenial emotions of eager sensibility did we hasten to the spot,
and the moments which we passed together, though countless from their
number in the calendar of cold indifference, to us were few and
fleeting, in comparison with that eternity of mutual bliss for which
we panted.

One night, a night which should be expunged from the almanac, a night
of darkness and despair, contrasted with the brightness of all our
former nights, I was surprised, on approaching the garden, to find
the little gate open.  This unusual circumstance alarmed me; for it
seemed to augur something inauspicious to my happiness: I turned pale
and trembled, as if with a foreknowledge of what was going to happen.
Advancing in the dark towards a bower, where our private meetings had
usually taken place, I heard a man's voice.  I stopped on the instant
to listen, when the following words struck like the sound of death
upon my ear: Do not keep me languishing in suspense, my dear
Beatrice; make my happiness complete, and consider that your own
fortunes are closely connected with mine.  Instead of having patience
to hear further, it seemed as if more had been said than blood could
expiate; that devil, jealousy, took possession of my soul; I drew my
sword, and breathing only vengeance, rushed into the bower.  Ah! base
seducer, cried I, whoever you are, you shall tear this heart from out
my breast, rather than touch my honor on its tenderest point.  With
these words on my lips, I attacked the gentleman who was talking with
Beatrice.  He stood upon his guard without more ado, like a man much
better acquainted with the science of arms than myself, who had only
received a few lessons from a fencing-master at Cordova.  And yet,
strong as his sword-arm was, I made a thrust which he could not
parry; or, what is more likely, his foot slipped: I saw him fall;
and, fancying that I had wounded him mortally, ran away as hard as my
legs would carry me, without deigning to answer Beatrice, who would
have called me back.

Yes, indeed! said Scipio's wife, resolved to have her share in the
development of the story; I called out for the purpose of undeceiving
him.  The gentleman conversing with me in the arbor was Don Ferdinand
de Leyva.  This nobleman, who was in love with my mistress Julia, had
laid a plan for running away with her, from despair of being able to
obtain her hand by any other means; and I had myself made this
assignation with him in the garden, to concert measures for the
elopement, and with his fortune he assured me that my own was closely
linked; but it was in vain that I screamed after my husband; he
darted from me as if my very touch were contamination.

In such a state of mind, resumed Scipio, I was capable of anything.
Those who know by experience what jealousy is, into what extravagance
it drives the best regulated spirits, will be at no loss to conceive
the disorder it must have produced in my weak brain.  I passed in a
moment from one extreme to another: emotions of hatred succeeded
instantaneously to all my former sentiments of affection for my wife.
I took an oath never to see her more, and to banish her forever from
my memory.  Besides, the supposed death of a man lay upon my
conscience; and, under that idea, I was afraid of falling into the
hands of justice; so that every torment which could be accumulated on
the head of guilt and misery by the fury of despair and the demon of
remorse, was the remediless companion of my wretched flight.  In this
dreadful situation, thinking only of my escape, I returned home no
more, but immediately quitted Toledo, with no other provision for my
journey but the clothes on my back.  It is true I had about sixty
pistoles in my pocket--a tolerable supply for a young man whose views
in life pointed no higher than a good service.

I walked forward all night, or rather ran, for the phantom of an
alguazil always dogging me at the heels made me perform wonders of
pedestrian activity.  The dawn overtook me between Rodillas and
Maqueda.  When I was at the latter town, finding myself a little
weary, I went into the church which was just opened, and having put
up a short prayer, sat down on a bench to rest.  I began musing on
the state of my affairs, which were sufficiently out at elbows to
require all my skill in patchwork; but the time for reflection, as
well as for repentance, was cut short.  The church echoed on a sudden
with three or four smacks of a whip, which made me conclude that some
carrier was on the road.  I immediately got up to go and see whether
I was right or wrong.  At the door, I found a man, mounted on a mule,
leading two others by the halter.  Stop, my friend, said I: whither
are those two mules going?  To Madrid, answered he.  I came hither
with two good Dominicans, and am now setting out on my return.

Such an opportunity of going to Madrid gave me an itching desire for
the expedition: I made my bargain with the muleteer, jumped upon one
of his mules, and away we scampered towards Illescas, where we were
to put up for the night.  Scarcely were we out of Maqueda, before the
muleteer, a man from five-and-thirty to forty, began chanting the
church service with a most collegiate twang.  This trial of his lungs
began with matins, in the drowsy tone of a canon between asleep and
awake; then he roared out the Belief, alternately in contralto,
tenor, and bass, in all the harmonious confusion of high mass; and
not content with that, he rang the bell for vespers, without sparing
me a single petition, or so much as a bar of the Magnificat.  Though
the scoundrel almost cracked the drum of my ear, I could not help
laughing heartily; and even egged him on to make the welkin
reverberate with his hallelujahs, when the anthem was suspended a few
rests, for the necessary purpose of supplying wind to the organ.
Courage, my friend! said I; go on and prosper.  If heaven has given
you a good capacious throat, you are neither a niggard nor a
perverter of its precious boon.  O! certainly not, for the matter of
that, cried he: happily for my immortal soul, I am not like carriers
in general, who sing nothing but profane songs about love or
drinking: I do not even defile my lips with ballads on our wars
against the Moors; such subjects are at least light and unedifying,
if not licentious and impure.  You have, replied I, an evangelical
purity of heart, which belongs only to the elect among muleteers.
With this excessive squeamishness of yours about the choice of your
music, have you also taken a vow of continence, wherever there is a
young bar-maid to be picked up at an inn?  Assuredly, rejoined he,
chastity is also a virtue by which it is my pride to ward off the
temptations of the road, where my only business is to look after my
mules.  I was in no small degree astonished at such pious sentiments
from this prodigy of psalm-singing mule-drivers; so that, looking
upon him as a man above the vanities and corruptions of this nether
world, I fell into chat with him after he had gone the length of his
tether in singing.

We got to Illescas late in the day.  On entering the inn-yard, I left
the care of the mules to my companion, and went into the kitchen,
where I ordered the landlord to get us a good supper, which he
promised to perform so much to my satisfaction as to make me remember
all the days of my life what usage travellers meet with at his house.
As, added he, now only ask your carrier what sort of a man I am.  By
all the powers of seasoning!  I would defy the best cook in Madrid or
Toledo to make an olio at all to be compared to mine.  I shall treat
you this evening with some stewed rabbit after a receipt of my own;
you will then see whether it is any boast to say that I know how to
send up a supper.  Thereupon, showing me a stewpan with a young
rabbit, as he said, cut up into pieces, There, continued he, is what
I mean to favor you with.  When I shall have thrown in a little
pepper, some salt, wine, a handful of sweet herbs, and a few other
ingredients which I keep for my own sauces, you may depend on sitting
down to such a dish as would not disgrace the table of a chancellor
or an archbishop.

The landlord, having thus done justice to his own merits, began to
work upon the materials he had prepared.  While he was laboring in
his vocation, I went into a room, where, lying down on a sort of
couch, I fell fast asleep through fatigue, having taken no rest the
night before.  In the space of about two hours, the muleteer came and
awakened me, with the information that supper was ready, and a
pressing request to take my place at table.  The cloth was laid for
two, and we sat down to the hashed rabbit.  I played my knife and
fork most manfully, finding the flavor delicious, whether from the
force of hunger in communicating a candid mode of interpretation to
my palate, or from the natural effect of the ingredients compounded
by the cook.  A joint of roast mutton was next served up.  It was
remarkable that the carrier only paid his respects to this last
article; and I asked him why he had not taken his share of the other.
He answered, with a suppressed smile, that he was not fond of made
dishes.  This reason, or rather the turn of countenance with which it
was alleged, seemed to imply more than was expressed.  You have not
told me, said I, the real meaning of your not eating the fricassee;
do have the goodness to explain it at once.  Since you are so curious
to be made acquainted with it, replied he, I must own that I have an
insuperable aversion to cramming my stomach with meats in masquerade,
since one evening at an inn on the road between Toledo and Cuença,
they served me up, instead of a wild rabbit, a hash of tame cat;
enough, of all conscience, ever after to set my intestines in battle
array against all minces, stews, and force-meats.

No sooner had the muleteer let me into this secret, than, in spite of
the hunger which raged within me, my appetite left me completely in
the lurch.  I conceived, in all the horrors of extreme loathing, that
I had been eating a cat dressed up as the double of a rabbit; and the
fricassee had no longer any power over my senses, except by producing
a strong inclination to retch.  My companion did not lessen my
tendency that way, by telling me that the innkeepers in Spain, as
well as the pastry-cooks, were very much in the habit of making that
substitution.  The drift of the conversation was, as you may
perceive, very much in the nature of a lenitive to my stomach; so
much so, that I had no mind to meddle any more with the dish of
undefinables, nor even to make an attack upon the roast meat, for
fear the mutton should have performed its duty by deputy as well as
the rabbit.  I jumped up from table, cursing the cookery, the cook,
and the whole establishment; then, throwing myself down upon the
sofa, I passed the night with less nausea than might reasonably have
been expected.  The day following, with the dawn, after having paid
the reckoning with as princely an air as if we had been treated like
princes, away went I from Illescas, bearing my faculties so strongly
impregnated with fricassee, that I took every animal which crossed
the road, of whatever species or dimensions, for a cat.

We got to Madrid betimes, where I had no sooner settled with my
carrier, than I hired a ready-furnished lodging near the Sun-gate.
My eyes, though accustomed to the great world, were, nevertheless,
dazzled by the concourse of nobility which was ordinarily seen in the
quarter of the court.  I admired the prodigious number of carriages,
and the countless list of gentlemen, pages, gentlemen's gentlemen,
and plain, downright footmen, in the train of the grandees.  My
admiration exceeded all bounds on going to the king's levee, and
beholding the monarch in the midst of his court.  The effect of the
scene was enchanting, and I said to myself, It is no wonder they
should say that one must see the court of Madrid, to form an adequate
idea of its magnificence: I am delighted to have directed my course
hither, and feel a sort of prescience within me that I shall not come
away without taking fortune by surprise.  I caught nothing napping,
however, but my own prudence, in making some thriftless, expensive
acquaintance.  My money oozed away in the rapid thaw of my propriety
and better judgment, so that it became a measure of expedient
degradation to throw away my transcendent merit on a pedagogue of
Salamanca, whom some family lawsuit or other concern had brought to
Madrid, where he was born, and where chance, more whimsical than
wise, thrust me within the horizon of his knowledge.  I became his
right hand, his prime, principal agent, and dogged him at the heels
to the university when he returned thither.

My new employer went by the name of Don Ignacio de Ipigna.  He
furnished himself with the handle of don, inasmuch as he had been
tutor to a nobleman of the first rank, who had recompensed his early
services with an annuity for life: he likewise derived a snug little
salary from his professorship in the university; and, in addition to
all this, laid the public under a yearly contribution of two or three
hundred pistoles for books of uninstructive morality, which he
protruded from the press periodically by weight and measure.  The
manner in which he worked up the shreds and patches of his
composition deserves a notice somewhat more than cursory.  The heavy
hours of the forenoon were spent in muzzing over Hebrew, Greek, and
Latin authors, and in writing down upon little squares of card every
pithy sentence or striking thought which occurred in the morning's
reading.  According to the progress of this literary Pam in winning
tricks from the ancients, he employed me to score up his honors in
the form of an Apollo's wreath: these metaphysical garlands were
strung upon wire, and each garland made a pocket volume.  What an
execrable hash of wholesome viands did we cook up!  The commandments
set at loggerheads with an utter confusion of tables; Epicurean
conclusions grafted on stoical premises!  Tully quoting Epictetus,
and Seneca supporting his antitheses on the authority of monkish
rhyme!  Scarcely a month elapsed without our putting forth at least
two volumes, so that the press was kept continually groaning under
the weight of our transgressions.  What seemed most extraordinary of
all was, that these literary larcenies were palmed upon the
purchasers for spick and span new wares, and if, by any strange and
improbable chance, a thick-headed critic should stumble with his
noddle smack against some palpable plagiarism, the author would plead
guilty to the indictment, and make a merit of serving up at
second-hand

  What Gellius or Stobæus hashed before,
  Though chewed by blind old scholiasts o'er and o'er.

He was also a great commentator, and filled his notes chuck full of
so much erudition as to multiply whole pages of discussion upon what
homely common-sense would have consigned to the brief alternative of
a query:--

  Disputes of Me or Te, or Aut or At,
  To sound or sink in cano O or A,
  Or give up Cicero to C or K.


As almost every author, ethical and didactic, from Hesiod down to
himself, took his turn to dangle on some one or other of our
manuscript garlands, it was impossible for me not to suck in somewhat
of sage nurture from so copious a stream of philosophy: it would be
rank ingratitude to shift off my obligation.  My handwriting also
became strictly and decidedly legible, by dint of continual
transcription; my estate was more that of a pupil than of a servant,
and my morals were not neglected, while my mind was polished, and my
faculties raised above their former level.  Scipio, he used to say,
when he chanced to hear of any serving lad with more cunning than
honesty in his dealings, beware, my good boy, how you take after the
evil example of that graceless villain.  "The honor of a servant is
his fidelity; his highest virtues are submission and obedience.  Be
studious of thy master's interests; be diligent in his affairs, and
faithful to the trust which he reposeth in thee.  Thy time and thy
labor belong unto him.  Defraud him not thereof, for he payeth thee
for them."  To sum up all, Don Ignacio lost no opportunity of leading
me on in the path of virtue, and his prudent counsels sank so deep
into my heart, as to keep under anything like even the slightest wish
of playing him a rogue's trick during the fifteen months which I
spent in his service.

I have already mentioned that Doctor de Ipigna was a native of
Madrid.  He had a relation there, by name Catalina, waiting-maid to
the lady who officiated as nurse to the heir-apparent.  This abigail,
the same through whose intervention I got Signor de Santillane
released from the tower of Segovia, intent on rendering a service to
Don Ignacio, prevailed with her mistress to petition the Duke of
Lerma for some preferment.  The minister named him for the
archdeaconry of Grenada, which, as a conquered country, is in the
king's gift.  We repaired immediately to Madrid on receiving the
intelligence, as the doctor wished to thank his patronesses before he
took possession of his benefice.  I had more than one opportunity of
seeing Catalina, and conversing with her.  The cheerful turn of my
temper and a certain easy air of good company were altogether to her
taste; for my part, I found her so much to my liking, that I could
not help saying yes to the little advances of partiality which she
made in my favor: in short, we got to feel very kindly towards each
other.  You must not write a comment with your nails, my dear
Beatrice, on this episode in the romance of my amours, because I was
firmly persuaded of your inconstancy, and you will allow that heresy,
though impious, being also blind, my penance may reasonably be
remitted on sincere conversion.

In the mean time, Doctor Ignacio was making ready to set out for
Grenada.  His relation and myself, out of our wits at the impending
separation, had recourse to an expedient which rescued us from its
horrors: I shammed illness, complained of my head, complained of my
chest, and made a characteristic wry face for every pain and ache in
the catalogue of human infirmities.  My master called in a physician,
who told me with a grave face, after putting his questions in the
usual course, that my complaint was of a much more serious nature
than it might appear to unprofessional observation, and that,
according to all present likelihood, I should keep my chamber a long
time.  The doctor, impatient to take possession of his preferment,
did not think it quite so well to delay his departure, but chose
rather to hire another boy; he therefore contented himself with
handing me over to the care of a nurse, with whom he left a sum of
money to bury me if I should die, or to remunerate me for my services
if I should recover.

As soon as I knew Don Ignacio to be safe on the road for Grenada, I
was cured of all my maladies.  I got up, made my final bow to the
physician who had evinced so thorough a knowledge of my case, and
fairly turned my nurse out of doors, who made her retreat good with
baggage and ammunition to the amount of more than half the sum for
which she ought to have accounted with me.  While I was enacting the
sick man, Catalina was playing another part about the person of her
mistress, Donna Anna de Guévra, into whose conception having, by dint
of many a wordy process, inserted the notion that I was the man of
all others ready cut and dry for an intrigue, she induced her to
choose me for one of her agents.  The royal and most catholic nurse,
whose genius for great undertakings was either produced or
exasperated by the love of great possessions, having occasion for
suitable ministers, received me among her hangers-on, and lost no
opportunity of ascertaining how far I was for her purpose.  She
confided some commissions to my care, which, vanity apart, called for
no little address, and what they called for was ready at hand:
accordingly she gave me all possible credit for the diligent
execution of my office, while my discontent swelled high against her
for fobbing me off with the cold recompense of approbation.  The good
lady was so abominably avaricious as not to give me a working
partner's share in the profits of my industry, nor to allow for the
wear and tear of my conscience.  She seemed inclined to consider,
that, by paying me my wages, all the requisitions of Christian
charity were made good between us.  This excess of illiberal economy
would soon have parted us, had it not been for the fascination of
Catalina's gentle virtues, who became more desperately in love with
me from day to day, and completed the paroxysm by a formal proposal
of marriage.

Fair and softly, my pretty friend, said I: we must look before we
leap into that bottomless gulf: the first point to be settled is to
ascertain the death of a young woman who obtained the refusal before
you, and made me supremely happy for no other purpose but to
anticipate the purgatory of an intermediate state in the present.
All a mere sham, a put-off! answered Catalina: you swear you are
married only by way of throwing a genteel veil over your abhorrence
of my person and manners.  In vain did I call all the powers to
witness that what I said was solemnly true: my sincere avowal was
considered as a mere copy of my countenance; the lady was grievously
offended, and changed her whole behavior in regard to me.  There was
no downright quarrel; but our tender intercourse became visibly more
rigid and unaccommodating, so that nothing further took place between
us but cold formality and common-place attentions.

Just at the nick of time, I heard that Signor Gil Blas de Santillane,
secretary to the prime minister of the Spanish monarchy, wanted a
servant; and the situation was the more flattering, as it bore the
bell among all the vacancies of the court register office.  Signor de
Santillane, they told me, was one of the first men, high in favor
with the Duke of Lerma, and consequently in the direct road to
fortune: his heart, too, was cast in the mould of generosity: by
doing his business, you most assuredly did your own.  The opportunity
was too good to be neglected: I went and offered myself to Signor Gil
Blas, to whom I felt my heart grow from the first; for my sentiments
were fixed by the turn of his physiognomy.  There could be no
question about leaving the royal and most catholic nurse for him; and
it is to be hoped I shall never have any other master.

Here ended Scipio's story.  But he continued speaking, and addressed
himself to me.  Signor de Santillane, do me the favor to assure these
ladies that you have always known me for a faithful and zealous
servant.  Your testimony will stand me in good stead, and vouch for a
sincere reformation in the son of Cosclina.

Yes, ladies, said I, it is even so.  Though Scipio in his childhood
was a very scape-grace, he has been born anew, and is now the exact
model of a trusty domestic.  Far from having any complaints to make
against him, my debt is infinite.  On the fatal night when I was
carried off to the tower of Segovia, he saved my effects from
pillage, and refunded what he might have taken to himself with
impunity: not contented with rescuing my worldly pelf, he came out of
pure friendship and shut himself up with me in my prison, preferring
the melancholy sympathies of adverse fortune to all the charms of
lusty, buoyant liberty.




BOOK THE ELEVENTH.



_CHAPTER I._

_CONTAINING THE SUBJECT OF THE GREATEST JOY THAT GIL BLAS EVER FELT,
FOLLOWED UP, AS OUR GREATEST PLEASURES TOO GENERALLY ARE, BY THE MOST
MELANCHOLY EVENT OF HIS LIFE.  GREAT CHANGES AT COURT, PRODUCING,
AMONG OTHER IMPORTANT REVOLUTIONS, THE RETURN OF SANTILLANE._

I have observed already that Antonia and Beatrice understood one
another perfectly well; the latter falling meekly and modestly into
the trammels of a humble attendant on her lady, and the former taking
very kindly to the rank of a mistress and superior.  Scipio and
myself were husbands too rich in nature's gifts and in the affections
of our spouses, not very soon to have the satisfaction of becoming
fathers: our lasses were as women wish to be who love their lords,
almost at the same moment.  Beatrice's time was up first: she was
safely delivered of a daughter; and in a few days afterwards Antonia
completed the general joy by presenting me with a son.  I sent my
secretary to Valencia with the welcome tidings: the governor came to
Lirias with Seraphina and the Marchioness de Pliego, to be present at
the baptismal ceremony; for he made it his pleasure to add this
testimony of affection to all his former kindnesses.  As that
nobleman stood godfather, and the Marchioness godmother to my son, he
was named Alphonso; and the governor's lady, wishing to draw the
bonds of sponsorship still closer in this friendly party, stood for
Scipio's daughter, to whom we gave the name of Seraphina.

The rejoicings at the birth of my son were not confined to the
mansion-house: the villagers of Lirias celebrated the event by
festivities, which were meant as a grateful token, to prove how much
the little neighborhood partook in all the satisfactions of their
landlord.  But alas! our carousals were of short continuance; or, to
speak more suitably to the subject, they were turned into weeping,
wailing, and lamentation, by a catastrophe which more than twenty
years have not been sufficient to blot from my memory; nor will
future time, however distant, make me think of it but with the
bitterest retrospect.  My son died; and his mother, though perfectly
recovered from her confinement, very soon followed him: a violent
fever carried off my dear wife after we had been married fourteen
months.  Let the reader conceive, if he is equal to the task, the
grief with which I was overwhelmed: I fell into a stupid
insensibility, and felt my loss so severely as to seem not to feel it
at all.  I remained in this condition for five or six days, in an
obstinate determination to take no nourishment; and I verily believe
that, had it not been for Scipio, I should either have starved
myself, or my heart would have burst; but my secretary, well knowing
how to accommodate himself to the turnings and windings of the human
heart, contrived to cheat my sorrows by falling in with their tone
and tenor: he was artful enough to reconcile me to the duty of taking
food, by serving up soups and lighter fare with so disconsolate an
arrangement of features, that it looked as if he urged me to the
revolting employment, not so much to preserve my life, as to
perpetuate and render immortal my affliction.

This affectionate servant wrote to Don Alphonso to let him know of
the misfortune which had happened to me, and my lamentable condition
in consequence.  That tender-hearted and compassionate nobleman, that
generous friend, very soon repaired to Lirias.  I cannot recall the
moment when he first presented himself to my view, without even now
being sensibly affected.  My dear Santillane, said he, embracing me,
I am not come to offer you impertinent consolation, but to weep over
Antonia with you, as you would have wept with me over Seraphina, had
the hand of death snatched her from me.  In good truth, his tears
bore testimony to his sincerity, and his sighs were blended with mine
in the most friendly sympathy.  Though overwhelmed with my
affliction, I felt in the most lively manner the kindness of Don
Alphonso.

The governor had a long conversation with Scipio respecting the
measures to be taken for overcoming my despair.  They judged it best
to remove me for some time from Lirias, where every object
incessantly brought back to my mind the image of Antonia.  On this
account the son of Don Cæsar proposed carrying me back with him to
Valencia; and my secretary seconded the plan with so many
unanswerable arguments, that I made no further opposition.  I left
Scipio and his wife on my estate, where my longer stay could have
produced no other effect but that of aggravating and enhancing all my
sorrows, and took my own departure with the governor.  On my arrival
at Valencia, Don Cæsar and his daughter-in-law spared no exertions to
divert my sorrows from perpetual brooding; they plied me alternately
with every sort of amusement, the most proper to turn the current of
my thoughts to passing objects; but, in spite of all their pains, I
remained plunged in melancholy, whence they were incompetent to draw
me out.  Nor was it for want of Scipio's kind attentions that my
peace of mind was still so hopeless: he was continually going back
and fore between Lirias and Valencia to inquire after me; and his
journey home was cheerful or gloomy in proportion as he found more or
less disposition in me to listen to the words of comfort, and to
reward the affectionate solicitude of my friends.

He came one morning into my room.  Sir, said he, with a great deal of
agitation in his manner, a report is current about town, in which the
whole monarchy is deeply interested: it is said that Philip the Third
has departed this life, and that the prince, his son, is actually
seated on the throne.  To this it is added that the cardinal Duke of
Lerma has lost the premiership, that he is even forbidden to appear
at court, and that Don Gaspard de Guzman, Count of Olivarez, is
actually at the head of the administration.  I felt a little agitated
by this sudden change, without knowing why.  Scipio caught at this
manifestation, and asked whether the veering of the wind in the
political horizon might not blow me some good.  How is that possible?
What good can it blow me, my worthy friend? answered I.  The court
and I have shaken hands once for all: the revolutions which may take
place there are all alike indifferent to me.

For a man at your time of life, replied that cunning son of a
diviner, you are uncommonly mortified to all the uses of this world.
Under your circumstances my curiosity would be all alive; I should go
to Madrid and show my face to the young monarch, just to see whether
he would recollect it, merely for the amusement of the thing.  I
understand you, said I; you would have me return to court and try my
fortune again, or rather you would plunge me back into the gulf of
avarice and ambition.  Why should such baleful passions any more take
possession of your breast? rejoined Scipio.  Do not so much play the
calumniator on your own virtue.  I will answer for your firmness to
yourself.  The sound moral reflections which your disgrace has
occasioned you to make on the vanities of a court life, are a
sufficient security against all the dangers to be feared from that
quarter.  Embark boldly once again upon an ocean where you are
acquainted with every shoal and rock in the dangerous navigation.
Hold your tongue, you flatterer, said I with a smile of no very
positive discouragement; are you weary of seeing me lead a retired
and tranquil life?  I thought my repose had been more dear to you.

Just at this period of our conversation, Don Cæsar and his son came
in.  They confirmed the news of the king's death, as well as the Duke
of Lerma's misfortune.  It appeared, moreover, that this minister,
having requested permission to retire to Rome, had not been able to
obtain it, but was ordered to confine himself to his marquisate at
Denia.  On this, as if they had been in league with my secretary,
they advised me to go to Madrid and offer my congratulations to the
new king, as one of his former acquaintances, with the merit of
having rendered him even such services as the great are apt to reward
more willingly than some which are performed with cleaner hands.  For
my part, said Don Alphonso, I have no doubt but they will be
liberally acknowledged: Philip the Fourth is bound in honor to pay
the Prince of Spain's debts.  I consider the affair just in the same
light as you do, said Don Cæsar; and Santillane's visit to court will
doubtless prove the occasion of his arriving at the very first
employments.

In good truth, my noble friends, exclaimed I, you do not consider
what you are talking about.  It should seem, were one to give ear to
the soothing words of you both, as if I had nothing to do but to show
my face at Madrid, and receive the key of office, or some foreign
government, for my pains; but you are egregiously mistaken.  I am, on
the contrary, well persuaded that the king would pass me over as a
stranger, were I to throw myself in his way.  I will make the
experiment if you wish it, merely for the sake of undeceiving you.
The lords of Leyva took me at my word, so that I could not help
promising them to set out without loss of time for Madrid.  No sooner
did my secretary perceive my mind fully made up to the prosecution of
this journey, than his ecstasies were wound up to the highest pitch:
he was satisfied within himself, that if I did but present my
excellent person before the new monarch, he would immediately single
me out from the crowd of political candidates, and weigh me down
under a load of dignities and emoluments.  On the strength of these
conjectures, puffing himself out and amusing his fancy with the most
splendid extravagances of device, he raised me up to the first
offices of the state, and pushed forward his own preferment in the
path of my exaltation.

I therefore made my arrangements for returning to court, without the
most distant intention of again sacrificing at the shrine of fortune,
but merely to convince Don Cæsar and his son of their error in
imagining that I was at all likely to ingratiate myself with the
sovereign.  It is true that there was some little lurking vanity at
the bottom of all my philosophy, sprouting up in the shape of a
desire to ascertain whether my royal master would throw away a
thought on me now in the spring time of his new and blushing honors.
Led out of that course solely by that tempter, curiosity, without a
dream of hope, or any practical contrivance for turning the new reign
to my own individual advantage, I set out for Madrid with Scipio,
consigning the management of my household to Beatrice, who was well
skilled in all the arts of domestic economy.




_CHAPTER II._

_GIL BLAS ARRIVES IN MADRID, AND MAKES HIS APPEARANCE AT COURT; THE
KING IS BLESSED WITH A BETTER MEMORY THAN MOST OF HIS COURTIERS, AND
RECOMMENDS HIM TO THE NOTICE OF HIS PRIME MINISTER.  CONSEQUENCES OF
THAT RECOMMENDATION._

We got to Madrid in less than eight days, Don Alphonso having given
us two of his best horses, that we might lose no time on the road.
We alighted at a ready-furnished lodging, where I had lived formerly,
kept by Vincent Ferrero, my old landlord, who was uncommonly glad to
see me again.

As this man prided himself on being in the secret of whatever was
going forward either in court or city, I asked him after the best
news.  There is plenty of it, whether best or worst, answered he.
Since the death of Philip the Third, the friends and partisans of the
cardinal Duke of Lerma have been moving heaven and earth to support
his eminence on the pinnacle of ministerial authority; but their
efforts have been ineffectual: the Count of Olivarez has carried the
day, in spite of all their industry.  It is alleged that Spain will
be no loser by the exchange, and that the present premier is
possessed of a genius so extensive, a mind so capacious, that he
would be competent to wield the machine of universal government.  New
brooms, they say, sweep clean!  But, at all events, you may take this
for certain, that the public is fully impressed with a very favorable
opinion of his capacity; we shall see by and by whether the Duke of
Lerma's situation is well or ill filled up.  Ferrero, having got his
tongue into the right train for wagging, gave me all the particulars
of all the changes which had taken place at court since the Count of
Olivarez had taken his seat at the helm of the state vessel.

Two days after my arrival at Madrid I repaired to the royal palace,
after my dinner, and threw myself in the king's way as he was
crossing the lobby to his closet; but his notice was not at all
attracted by my appearance.  Next day, I returned to the same place,
but with no better success.  On the third day he looked me full in
the face as he passed by; but the stare was perfectly vacant, as far
as my interest or my vanity was concerned.  This being the case, I
resolved in my own mind what was proper to be done.  You see, said I
to Scipio, who accompanied me, that the king is grown out of my
recollection; or if his memory is not become more frail with the
elevation of his circumstances, he has some private reasons for not
choosing to renew the acquaintance.  I think we cannot do better than
make our way back as fast as possible for Valencia.  Let us not be in
too great a hurry for that, sir, answered my secretary; you know
better than myself, having served a long apprenticeship, that there
is no getting on at court without patience and perseverance.  Be
indefatigable in exhibiting your person to the prince's regards: by
dint of forcing yourself on his observation, you will oblige him to
ask himself the question who this assiduous frequenter of his haunts
can possibly be, when memory must come to his aid, and trace the
features of his cheapener in the purchase of the lovely Catalina's
good graces.

That Scipio might have nothing to reproach me with, I so far lent
myself to his wishes as to continue the same proceeding for the space
of three weeks; when at length it happened one day that the monarch,
noticing the frequency of my appearance, sent for me into his
presence.  I went into the closet, not without some perturbation of
mind at the idea of a private interview with my sovereign.  Who are
you? said he; your features are not altogether strange to me.  Where
have I seen you?  Please your majesty, answered I, trembling, I had
the honor of escorting you one night with the Count of Lemos to the
house of ... Ah!  I recollect it perfectly, cried the prince, as if a
sudden light had broke in upon him; you were the Duke of Lerma's
secretary; and if I am not mistaken, your name is Santillane.  I have
not forgotten that on the occasion alluded to you served me with a
most commendable zeal, but received a left-handed recompense for your
exertions.  Did you not get into prison at the conclusion of the
adventure?  Yes, please your majesty, replied I; my confinement in
the tower of Segovia lasted six months; but your goodness was
exercised in procuring my release.  That, replied he, does not cancel
my debt to my faithful servant Santillane: it is not enough to have
restored him to liberty; for I ought to make him ample amends for the
evils which he has suffered on the score of his alacrity in my
concerns.

Just as the prince was uttering these words, the Count of Olivarez
came into the closet.  The nerves of favorites are shaken by every
breath, their irritability excited by every trifle: he was as much
astonished as any favorite need be at the sight of a stranger in that
place, and the king redoubled his wondering propensities by the
following recommendation: Count, I consign this young man to your
care; employ him, and let me find that you provide for his
advancement.  The minister affected to receive this order with the
most gracious acquiescence, but looked me over from head to foot,
with a glance from the corner of his eye, and was on tenter-hooks to
find out who had been so strangely saddled upon him.  Go, my friend,
added the sovereign, addressing himself to me, and waving his hand
for me to withdraw; the count will not fail to avail himself of your
services in a manner the most conducive to the interests of my
government, and the establishment of your own fortunes.

I immediately went out of the closet, and made the best of my way to
the son of Cosclina, who, being overrun with impatience to inquire
what the king had been talking about, fumbled at his fingers' ends,
and was all over in an agitation.  His first question was, whether we
were to return to Valencia or become a part of the court.  You shall
form your own conclusions, answered I, at the same time delighting
him with an account, word for word, of the little conversation I had
just held with the monarch.  My dear master, said Scipio, at once, in
the excess of his joy, will you take me for your almanac-maker
another time?  You must acknowledge that we were not in the wrong:
the lords of Leyva and myself have our eye-teeth about us! a journey
to Madrid was the only measure to be adopted in such a case.  Already
I anticipate your appointment to an eminent post: you will turn out
to be, some time or other, a Calderona to the Count of Olivarez.
That is by no means the object of my ambition, observed I in return;
the employment is placed on too rugged an eminence to excite any
longings in my mind.  I could wish for a good situation, where there
could be no inducement to do what might go against my conscience, and
where the favors of my prince are not likely to be bartered away for
filthy lucre.  Having experienced my own unfitness for the possession
of patronage, I cannot be sufficiently on my guard against the
inroads of avarice and ambition.  Never think about that, sir,
replied my secretary; the minister will give you some handsome
appointment, which you may fill without any impeachment of your
integrity or independence.

Induced more by Scipio's importunity than my own curiosity, I
repaired the following day, before sunrise, to the residence of the
Count d'Olivarez, having been informed that every morning, whether in
summer or winter, he gave audience by candlelight to all comers.  I
ensconced myself modestly in a corner of the saloon, and from my
lurking-place took especial notice of the count when he made his
appearance, for I had marked his person but cursorily in the king's
closet.  He was above the middle stature, and might pass for fat in a
country where it is a rarity to see any but lean subjects.  His
shoulders were so high, as to look exactly as if he was humpbacked;
but appearances were slanderous; for his blade-bones, though
inelegant, were a pair; his head, which was large enough to be
capacious, dropped down upon his chest by the unwieldiness of its own
weight; his hair was black and unconscious of a curl, his face
lengthened, his complexion olive-colored, his mouth retiring inwards,
with the sharp-pointed, turn-up chin of a pantaloon.

This whole arrangement of structure and symmetry did not exactly make
up the complete model of a nobleman according to the ideas of ancient
art; nevertheless, as I believed him to be in a temper of mind
favorable to the gratification of my wishes, I looked at his defects
with an indulgent eye, and found him a man very much to my
satisfaction.  One of the best points about him was, that he received
the public at large with the utmost affability and complacency,
holding out his hand for petitions with as much good humor as if he
were the person to be obliged; and this was a sufficient set-off
against anything untoward in the expression of his countenance.  In
the mean time, when, in my turn, I came forward to pay my respects
and make myself known to him, he darted at me a glance of rude
dislike and frightful menace; then, turning his back, without
condescending to give me audience, retired into his closet.  Then it
was that the ugliness of this nobleman's features appeared in all the
extravagance of caricature, so that I made the best of my way out of
the saloon, thunderstruck at so savage a reception, and quite at a
loss how to conjecture what might be the consequence.

Having got back to Scipio, who was waiting for me at the door, Can
you guess at all, said I, what sort of a greeting mine was?  No,
answered he, not as to the minute particulars; but with respect to
the substance, easily enough: the minister, ready upon all occasions
to fall in with the fancies of his royal master, must of course have
made you a handsome offer of an ostensible and lucrative situation.
That is all you know about the matter, replied I, and then went on to
acquaint him circumstantially with all that passed.  He listened to
me with serious attention, and then said, The count could not have
recollected your person; or rather, he must have been deceived by a
fortuitous resemblance between you and some impertinent suitor.  I
would advise you to try another interview; I will lay a wager he will
look on you more kindly.  I adopted my secretary's suggestion, and
stood for the second time in the presence of the minister; but he,
behaving to me still worse than at first, puckered up his features
the moment my unlucky countenance came within his ken, just as if it
was connected with some lodged hate and certain loathing, which of
force swayed him to offend, himself being offended; after this
significant demonstration, he turned away his glaring eyeballs, and
withdrew without uttering a word.

I was stung to the quick by so hostile a treatment, and in a humor to
set out immediately on my return to Valencia; but to that project
Scipio uniformly opposed his steady objections, not knowing how for
the life of him to part with those flattering hopes which fancy had
engendered in his brain.  Do you not see plainly, said I, that the
count wishes to drive me away from court?  The monarch has testified
in his presence some sort of favorable intention towards me, and is
not that enough to draw down upon me the thorough hatred of the
monarch's favorite?  Let us drive before the wind, my good comrade;
let us make up our minds to put quietly into port, and leave the open
sea and the honors of the flag in the possession of an enemy with
whom we are too feeble to contend.  Sir, answered he, in high
resentment against the Count of Olivarez, I would not strike so
easily.  I would go and complain to the king of the contempt in which
his minister held his recommendation.  Bad advice, indeed, my friend,
said I; to take so imprudent a step as that would soon bring bitter
repentance in the train of its consequences.  I do not even know
whether it is safe for me to remain any longer in this town.

At this hint, my secretary communed a little with his own thoughts;
and, considering that in point of fact we had to do with a man who
kept the key of the tower of Segovia in his pocket, my fears became
naturalized in his breast.  He no longer opposed my earnest desire of
leaving Madrid, and I determined to take my measures accordingly on
the very next day.




_CHAPTER III._

_THE PROJECT OF RETIREMENT IS PREVENTED, AND JOSEPH NAVARRO BROUGHT
UPON THE STAGE AGAIN BY AN ACT OF SIGNAL SERVICE._

On my way home to my lodgings I met Joseph Navarro, whom the reader
will recollect as on the establishment of Don Balthasar de Zuniga,
and one of my old friends.  I made my bow first at a distance, then
went up to him, and asked whether he knew me again, and if he would
still be so good as to speak to a wretch who had repaid his
friendship with ingratitude.  You acknowledge then, said he, that you
have not behaved very handsomely by me?  Yes, answered I; and you are
fully justified in laying on your reproaches thick and threefold: I
deserve them all, unless, indeed, my guilt may be thought to have
been atoned by the remorse of conscience attendant on it.  Since you
have repented of your misconduct, replied Navarro, embracing me, I
ought no longer to hold it in remembrance.  For my part, I knew not
how to hug Joseph close enough in my arms; and we both of us resumed
our original kind feelings towards one another.

He had heard of my imprisonment and the derangement of my affairs;
but of what followed he was totally ignorant.  I informed him of it;
relating, word for word, my conversation with the king, without
suppressing the minister's late ungracious reception of me, any more
than my present purpose of retiring into my favorite obscurity.
Beware of removing from the scene of action, said he, since the
sovereign has shown a disposition to befriend you: there are always
uses to be made of such a circumstance.  Between ourselves, the Count
of Olivarez has something rather unaccountable in his character: he
is a very good sort of nobleman, but rather whimsical withal:
sometimes, as on the present occasion, he acts in a most offensive
manner, and none but himself can furnish a clew to disentangle the
intricate thread of his motives and their results.  But however this
may be, or whatever reasons might have swayed him to give you so
scurvy a reception, keep your footing here, and do not budge; he will
not be able to hinder you from thriving under the royal shelter and
protection: take my word for that!  I will just give a hint upon the
subject this evening to Signor Don Balthasar de Zuniga, my master; he
is uncle to the Count of Olivarez, and shares with him in the toils
and cares of office.  Navarro, having given me this assurance,
inquired where I lived, and then we parted.

It was not long before we met again; for he came to call on me the
very next day.  Signor de Santillane, said he, you are not without a
protector; my master will lend you his powerful support: on the
strength of the good character which I have given your lordship, he
has promised to speak to his nephew, the Count of Olivarez, in your
behalf; and I doubt not but he will effectually prepossess him in
your favor.  My friend Navarro, not meaning to serve me by halves,
introduced me two days afterwards to Don Balthazar, who said, with a
gracious air, Signor de Santillane, your friend Joseph has pronounced
your panegyric in terms which have won me over completely to your
interest.  I made a low obeisance to Signor de Zuniga, and answered,
that to the latest period of my life I should entertain the most
lively sense of my obligation to Navarro for having secured to me the
protection of a minister who was considered, and that for the best
reasons possible, as the presiding genius, the greater luminary, or,
as it were, the eye and mind of the ministerial council.  Don
Balthasar, at this unexpected stroke of flattery, clapped me on the
shoulder with an approving chuckle, and returned my compliment by a
more significant intimation: You may call on the Count of Olivarez
again to-morrow, and then you will have more reason to be pleased
with him.

For the third time, therefore, did I make my appearance before the
prime minister, who, picking me out from among the mob of suitors,
cast upon me a look conveying with it a simper of welcome, from which
I ventured to draw a good omen.  This is all as it should be, said I
to myself; the uncle has brought the nephew to his proper bearings.
I no longer anticipated any other than a favorable reception, and my
confidence was fully justified.  The count, after having given
audience to the promiscuous crowd, took me with him into his closet,
and said with a familiar address, My friend Santillane, you must
excuse the little disquietude I have occasioned you merely for my own
amusement; it was done in sport, though it was death to you, for the
sole purpose of practising on your discretion, and observing to what
measures your disgust and disappointment would incite you.  Doubtless
you must have concluded that your services were displeasing to me;
but on the contrary, my good fellow, I must confess frankly, that, as
far as appears at present, you are perfectly to my mind.  Though the
king, my master, had not enjoined me to take charge of your fortunes,
I should have done so of my own free choice.  Besides, my uncle, Don
Balthasar de Zuniga, to whom I can refuse nothing, has requested me
to consider you as a man for whom he particularly interests himself;
that alone would be enough to fix my confidence in you, and make me
most sincerely your friend.

This outset of my career produced so lively an impression on my
feelings, that they became unintelligibly tumultuous.  I threw myself
at the minister's feet, who insisted on my rising immediately, and
then went on to the following effect: Return hither to-day after
dinner, and ask for my steward; he will acquaint you with the orders
which I shall have given him.  With these words his excellency broke
up the conference to hear mass, according to his constant custom
every day after giving audience; he then attended the king's levee.




_CHAPTER IV._

_GIL BLAS INGRATIATES HIMSELF WITH THE COUNT OF OLIVAREZ._

I did not fail returning after dinner to the prime minister's house,
and asking for his steward, whose name was Don Raymond Caporis.  No
sooner had I made myself known, than paying his civilities to me in
the most respectful manner, Sir, said he, follow me, if you please: I
am to do myself the honor of showing you the way to the apartment
which is ordered for you in this family.  Having spoken thus, he led
me up a narrow staircase to a gallery communicating with five or six
rooms, which composed the second story belonging to one wing of the
house, and were furnished neatly, but without ostentation.  You
behold, resumed he, the lodging assigned you by his lordship, where
you will always have a table of six persons, kept at his expense.
You will be waited on by his own servants; and there will always be a
carriage at your command.  But that is not all: his excellency
insisted on it, in the most pointed manner, that you should be
treated in every respect with the same attention as if you belonged
to the house of Guzman.

What the devil is the meaning of all this? said I within myself.
What construction ought I to put upon all these honors?  Is there not
some humorous prank at the bottom of it? and must it not be more in
the way of diversion than anything else, that the minister is
flattering me up with so imposing an establishment?  While I was
ruminating in this uncertainty, fluctuating between hope and fear, a
page came to let me know that the count was asking for me.  I waited
instantly on his lordship, who was quite alone in his closet.  Well!
Santillane, said he, are you satisfied with your rooms, and with my
orders to Don Raymond?  Your excellency's liberality, answered I,
seems out of all proportion with its object; so that I receive it
with fear and trembling.  Why so? replied he.  Can I be too lavish of
distinction to a man whom the king has committed to my care, and for
whose interests he especially commanded me to provide?  No: that is
impossible; and I do no more than my duty in placing you on a footing
of respectability and consequence.  No longer, therefore, let what I
do for you be a subject of surprise; but rely on it that splendor in
the eye of the world, and the solid advantages of accumulating
wealth, are equally within your grasp, if you do but attach yourself
as faithfully to me as you did to the Duke of Lerma.

But now that we are on the subject of that nobleman, continued he, it
is said that you lived on terms of personal intimacy with him.  I
have a strong curiosity to learn the circumstances which led to your
first acquaintance, as well as in what department you acted under
him.  Do not disguise or gloss over the slightest particular, for I
shall not be satisfied without a full, true, and circumstantial
recital.  Then it was that I recollected in what an embarrassing
predicament I stood with the Duke of Lerma on a similar occasion, and
by what line of conduct I extricated myself: that same course I
adopted once again with the happiest success; whereby the reader is
to understand that throughout my narrative I softened down the
passages likely to give umbrage to my patron, and glanced with a
superficial delicacy over transactions which would have reflected but
little lustre on my own character.  I likewise manifested a
considerate tenderness for the Duke of Lerma; though, by giving that
fallen favorite no quarter, I should better have consulted the taste
of him whom I wished to please.  As for Don Rodrigo de Calderona,
there I laid about me with the religious fury of a bishop in a
battle.  I brought together, and displayed in the most glaring
colors, all the anecdotes I had been able to pick up respecting his
corrupt practices and underhand dealing in the sale of promotions,
military, ecclesiastical, and civil.

What you have told me about Calderona, cried the minister with
eagerness, exactly squares with certain memorials which have been
presented to me, containing the heads of charges still more seriously
affecting his character.  He will very soon be put upon his trial,
and if you have any wish to glut your revenge by his ruin, I am of
opinion that the object of your desire is near at hand.  I am far
from thirsting after his blood, said I, though, had it depended on
him, mine might have been shed in the tower of Segovia, where he was
the occasion of my taking lodgings for a pretty long term.  What!
inquired his excellency, was it Don Rodrigo who procured you that
sudden journey?  This is a part of the story of which I was not aware
before.  Don Balthasar, to whom Navarro gave a summary of your
adventures, told me, indeed, that the late king gave orders for your
commitment, as a mark of his indignation against you for having led
the Prince of Spain astray, and taken him to a house of suspicious
character in the night: but that is all I know of the matter, and
cannot, for the life of me, conjecture what part Calderona could
possibly have had to play in that tragicomedy.  A principal part,
whether on the stage or in real life, answered I; that of a jealous
lover, taking vengeance for an injury sustained in the tenderest
point.  At the same time I related minutely all the facts with which
the reader is already acquainted, and touched his risible
propensities, difficult as they were of access, so exactly in the
right place, that he could not help wagging his under-hung jaw in a
paroxysm of humor-stricken ecstasy, and laughing till he cried again.
Catalina's double cast in the drama delighted him exceedingly; her
sometimes playing the niece and sometimes personating the
granddaughter seemed to tickle his fancy more than anything; nor was
he altogether inattentive to the appearance which the Duke of Lerma
made in this undignified farce of state.

When I had finished my story, the count gave me leave to depart, with
an assurance that on the next day he would not fail to make trial of
my talents for business.  I ran immediately to the family hotel of
Zuniga, to thank Don Balthasar for his good offices, and to acquaint
my friend Joseph with the favorable dispositions of the prime
minister, and my brilliant prospects in consequence.




_CHAPTER V._

_THE PRIVATE CONVERSATION OF GIL BLAS WITH NAVARRO, AND HIS FIRST
EMPLOYMENT IN THE SERVICE OF THE COUNT D'OLIVAREZ._

As soon as I got to the ear of Joseph, I told him, with much
trepidation of spirits, what a world of topics I had to deposit in
his private ear.  He took me where we might be alone, when I asked
him, after having communicated a key to the whole transaction up to
the present time, what he thought of the business as it stood.  I
think, answered he, that you are in a fair way to make an enormous
fortune.  Everything turns out according to your wishes: you have
made yourself acceptable to the prime minister; and what must be
taken for something in the account, I can render you the same service
as my uncle Melchior de la Ronda, when you attached yourself to the
archiepiscopal establishment of Grenada.  He spared you the trouble
of finding out the weak side of that prelate and his principal
officers, by discovering their different characters to you; and it is
my purpose, after his example, to bring you perfectly acquainted with
the count, his lady countess, and their only daughter, Donna Maria de
Guzman.

The minister's parts are quick, his judgment penetrating, and his
talents altogether calculated for the formation of extensive
projects.  He affects the credit of universal genius, on the strength
of a showy smattering in general science; so that there is no
subject, in his own opinion, too difficult to be decided on his mere
authority.  He sets himself up for a practical lawyer, a complete
general, and a politician of thorough-paced sagacity.  Add to all
this, that he is so obstinately wedded to his own opinions, as
unchangeably to persevere in the path of his own chalking out, to the
absolute contempt of better advice, for fear of seeming to be
influenced by any good sense or intelligence but what he would be
thought to engross in the resources of his own mind.  Between
ourselves, this blot in his character may produce strange
consequences, which it may be well for the monarchy should indulgent
heaven for the defect of human means avert!  As for his talents in
council, he shines in debate by the force of natural eloquence, and
would write as well as he speaks if he did not injudiciously affect a
certain dignity of style, which degenerates into affectation,
quaintness, and obscurity.  His modes of thinking are peculiar to
himself; he is capricious in conduct and visionary in design.  Here
you have the picture of his mind, the light and shade of his
intellectual merits: the qualities of his heart and disposition
remain to be delineated.  He is generous and warm in his friendships.
It is said that he is revengeful; but would he be a Spaniard if he
were otherwise?  In addition to this, he has been accused of
ingratitude, for having driven the Duke of Uzeda and Friar Lewis
Aliaga into banishment, though he owed them, according to common
report, obligations of the most binding nature; and yet even this
must not be looked into so narrowly under his circumstances: there
are few breasts capacious enough to afford houseroom for two such
opposite inmates as political ambition and gratitude.

Donna Agnes de Zuniga é Velasco, Countess of Olivarez, continued
Joseph, is a lady to whom it is impossible to impute more than one
fault, but that is a huge one; for it consists in making a market,
and a market the most exorbitant in its terms, of her natural
influence over the mind of her husband.  As for Donna Maria de
Guzman, who beyond all dispute is at this moment the very first match
in Spain, she is a lady of first-rate accomplishments, and absolutely
idolized by her father.  Regulate your conduct upon these hints: make
your court with art and plausibility to these two ladies, and let it
appear as if you were more devoted to the Count of Olivarez than ever
you were to the Duke of Lerma before your forced excursion to
Segovia; you will become a leading and powerful member of the
administration.

I should advise you, moreover, added he, to see my master, Don
Balthasar, from time to time; for though you have no longer any
occasion for his interest to push you forward, it will not be amiss
to waste a little incense upon him.  You stand very high in his good
opinion; preserve your footing there, and cultivate his friendship;
it may stand you in some stead on any emergency.  I could not help
observing, that as the uncle and nephew were in a certain sort
partners in the government of the state, there might possibly be some
little symptom of jealousy between brothers near the throne.  On the
contrary, answered he, they are united by the most confidential ties.
Had it not been for Don Balthasar, the Count of Olivarez might
probably never have been prime minister; for you are to know, that
after Philip the Third had paid the debt of nature, all the adherents
and partisans belonging to the house of Sandoval made a great stir,
some in favor of the cardinal, and others on his son's behalf; but my
master, a greater adept in court intrigue than any of them, and the
count, who is nearly as great an adept as himself, disconcerted all
their measures, and took their own so judiciously for the purpose of
stepping into the vacant place, that their rivals had no chance
against them.  The Count of Olivarez, being appointed prime minister,
divided the duties with his uncle, Don Balthasar; leaving foreign
affairs to him, and taking the home department to himself: the
consequence is, that the bonds of family friendship are drawn closer
between these two noblemen than if political influence had no share
in their mutual interests: they are perfectly independent in their
respective lines of business, and live together on terms of good
understanding which no intrigue can possibly affect or alter.

Such was the substance of my conversation with Joseph, and the
advantage to be derived from it was my own to make the most of: at
all events, it was my duty to thank Signor de Zuniga for all the
influence he had the goodness to exert in my favor.  He assured me
with infinite good-breeding that he should avail himself of every
opportunity as it arose to promote my wishes, and that he was very
glad his nephew had behaved so as to meet my ideas, because he meant
to refresh his memory in my behalf, being determined, as he was
pleased to say, to place it beyond all manner of doubt how far he
himself participated in all my views, and to make it evident that,
instead of one fast friend, I had two.  In terms like these did Don
Balthasar, through mere friendship for Navarro, take the moulding of
my fortunes on himself.

On that same evening did I leave my paltry lodging to take up my
abode at the prime minister's, where I sat down to supper with Scipio
in my own suit of apartments.  There were we both waited on by the
servants belonging to the household, who, as they stood behind our
chairs, while we were affecting the pomp and circumstance of
political elevation, were more likely than not to be laughing in
their sleeves at the pantomime they had been ordered by their manager
to play in our presence.  When they had taken away and left us to
ourselves, my secretary, being no longer under restraint, gave vent
to a thousand wild imaginations which his sprightly temper and
inventive hopes engendered in his fancy.  On my part, though by no
means cold or insensible to the brilliant prospects which were
opening on my view, I did not as yet yield in the least degree to the
weakness of being thrust aside from the right line of my philosophy
by temporal allurements.  So much otherwise, that on going to bed I
fell into a sound sleep, without being haunted in my dreams by those
phantoms of flattering delusion which might have gained admittance
with no severe question from a corruptible door-keeper.  The
ambitious Scipio, on the contrary, tossed and tumbled all night in
the agitation of restless contrivance.  Whenever he dozed a little
imp took possession of his brain, with a pen behind its ear, working
out by all the rules of arithmetic the bulky sum total of his
daughter Seraphina's marriage portion.

No sooner had I got my clothes on the next morning, than a message
came from his lordship.  I flew like lightning at the summons, when
his excellency said, Now then, Santillane, suppose you give us a
specimen of your talents for business.  You say that the Duke of
Lerma used to give you state papers to bring into official form; and
I have one, by way of experiment, on which you shall try your skill.
The subject you will easily comprehend: it turns upon an exposition
of public affairs, such as to throw an artificial light on the first
appearance of the new ministry, and to prejudice the public in its
favor.  I have already whispered it about by my emissaries, that
every department of the state was completely disorganized, that the
talents which preceded us were no talents at all; and the object at
present is to impress both court and city, by a formal declaration,
with the idea that our aid is absolutely necessary to save the
monarchy itself from sinking.  On this theme you may expatiate till
the populace become lockjawed with astonishment, and the sober part
of the public are gravely argued out of all prepossession in favor of
the discarded party.  By way of contrast, you will talk of the
_dignus vindice nodus_, taking care to translate it into Spanish; and
boast of the measures adopted, under the new order of things, to
secure the permanent glory of the king's reign, to give perpetual
prosperity to his dominions, and to confer perfect, unchangeable
happiness on his good people.

His lordship, having given out the general subject of my thesis, left
with me a paper containing the heads of charges, whether just or
unjust, against the late administration; and I remember perfectly
well that there were ten articles, whose lightest word, even of the
lightest article, would harrow up the soul of a true Spaniard, and
make his knotted and combined locks to part.  That the current of my
fancy might experience no interruption, he shut me into a little
closet near his own, where the spirit of poetry might possess me in
all its freedom and independence.  My best faculties were called
forth to compose a statement of affairs commensurate with my own
concern in the sweeping of the new brooms.  My first object was to
lay open the nakedness and abandonment of the kingdom: the finances
in a state of bankruptcy, the civil list and immediate resources of
the crown pawned fifty times over, the navy unpaid, dismantled, and
in mutiny.  All this hideous delineation was referred for its justice
and accuracy to the wrongheadedness and stupidity of government at
the close of the last reign, and the doctrine most strongly enforced,
that unexampled wisdom and patriotism only could ward off the fatal
consequences.  In short, the monarchy could only be sustained on the
shoulders of our political sufficiency and reforming prudence.  The
ex-ministry were so cruelly belabored, that the Duke of Lerma's ruin,
according to the terms of my syllogism, was the salvation of Spain.
To own the truth, though my professions were in the spirit of
Christian charity towards that nobleman, I was not sorry to give him
a sly rub in the exercise of my function.  O man! man! what a
compound of candor-breathing satire and splenetic impartiality art
thou!

Towards the conclusion, having finished my frightful portraiture of
overhanging evils, I endeavored to allay the storm my art had raised,
by making futurity as bright as the past had been gloomy.  The Count
of Olivarez was brought in at the close, like the tutelary deity of
an ancient commonwealth in the crisis of its fate.  I promised more
than paganism ever feigned, or chivalry fancied in the wildest of its
crusading projects.  In a word, I so exactly executed what the new
minister meant, that he seemed not to know his own hints again, when
drawn out in my emphatic and appropriate language.  Santillane, said
he, do you know that this is more like the composition one might
expect from a secretary of state, than like that of a private
secretary?  I can no longer be surprised that the Duke of Lerma was
fond of calling your talents into action.  Your style is concise, and
by no means inelegant; but it creeps rather too much in the level
paths of nature.  At the same time, pointing out the passages which
did not hit his fancy, he corrected them; and I gathered from the
touches he threw in, that Navarro was right in saying he affected
sententious wit, but mistook for it quaint and stale conceits.
Nevertheless, though he preferred the stately, or rather the
grotesque, in writing, he suffered two thirds of my performance to
stand without alteration, and, by way of proving how entirely he was
satisfied, sent me three hundred pistoles by Don Raymond after dinner.




_CHAPTER VI._

_THE APPLICATION OF THE THREE HUNDRED PISTOLES, AND SCIPIO'S
COMMISSION CONNECTED WITH THEM.  SUCCESS OF THE STATE PAPER MENTIONED
IN THE LAST CHAPTER._

This handsome present of the minister furnished Scipio with a new
subject of congratulation, by reason of our second appearance at
court.  You may remark, said he, that fortune is preparing a load of
aggrandizement to lay on your lordship's shoulders.  Are you still
sorry for having turned your back on solitude?  May the Count of
Olivarez live forever!  He is a very different sort of a master from
his predecessor.  The Duke of Lerma, with all your devotion to his
service, left you to live upon suction for months, without a pistole
to bless yourself with; and the count has already made you a present
which you could have had no reason to expect but after a course of
long service.

I should very much like, added he, that the lords of Leyva should be
witnesses of your great success, or at least that they should be
informed of it.  It is high time, indeed, answered I, and I meant to
speak with you on that subject.  They must doubtless be impatient to
hear of my proceedings; but I waited till my fate was fixed, and till
I could decide for certain whether I should stay at court or not.
Now that I am sure of my destination, you have only to set out for
Valencia whenever you please, and to acquaint those noblemen with my
present situation, which I consider as their doing, since it is
evident that but for them, I should never have resolved on my journey
to Madrid.  My dear master, cried the son of Bohemian accident, what
joy shall I communicate by relating what has happened to you!  Why am
I not already at the gates of Valencia?  But I shall be there
forthwith.  Don Alphonso's two horses are ready in the stable.  I
shall take one of my lord's livery servants with me.  Besides that
company is pleasant on the road, you know very well the effect of
official parade in making impression on the natives of a provincial
town.

I could not help laughing at my secretary's foolish vanity; and yet,
with vanity perhaps more than equal to his own, I left him to do as
he pleased.  Go about your business, said I, and make the best of
your way back; for I have another commission to give you.  I mean to
send you to the Asturias with some money for my mother.  Through
neglect I have suffered the time to elapse when I promised to remit
her a hundred pistoles, and pledged you to make the payment in
person.  Such engagements ought to be held sacred by a son; and I
reproach myself with inaccuracy in the observance of mine.  Sir,
answered Scipio, within six weeks I shall bring you an account of
both your commissions; having opened my budget to the lords of Leyva,
looked in at your country-house, and taken a peep at the town of
Oviedo, the recollection of which I cannot admit into my mind,
without turning over three fourths of the inhabitants, and one half
of the remaining quarter, to the corrective discipline of that
infernal executioner, who is supposed to be kept on foot for the
purpose of castigating sinners.  I then counted down one hundred
pistoles to that same son of a wandering mother for my honored
parent's annuity, and another hundred for himself; meaning that he
should perform his long journey without grumbling on my account by
the way.

Some days after his departure his lordship sent our memorial to
press; and it was no sooner published than it became the topic of
conversation in every circle throughout Madrid.  The people,
enamoured of novelty, took up this well-written statement of their
own wretchedness with fond partiality; the derangement and exhaustion
of the finances, painted with a mixture of truth and poetry, excited
a strong feeling of popular indignation against the Duke of Lerma,
and if these paper bullets of the brain, cast in the political armory
of a rival, failed to carry victory with them in the opinions of all
mankind, they were, at all events, hailed with triumph by the most
clamorous of our own partisans.  As for the magnificent promises
which the Count of Olivarez threw in, and among others that of
keeping the machine of state in motion by a system of economy,
without adding to the public burdens, they were caught at with
avidity by the citizens at large, and considered as pledges of an
enlightened and patriotic policy, so that the whole city resounded
with the acclamation of panegyric and congratulation on the opening
of new prospects.

The minister, delighted to have gained his end so easily, which in
that publication had only been to draw popularity upon himself, was
now determined to seize the substance as well as catch at the shadow,
by an act of unquestionable credit with the subject, and high utility
to the king's service.  For that purpose he had recourse to the
Emperor Galba's contrivance, consisting in a forced regurgitation of
ill-gotten spoils from individuals who had made large fortunes,
hell--and their own consciences knew best how--in the superintendence
of the royal expenditure.  When he had squeezed these sponges till
they were dry again, and had filled the king's coffers with the
drainings, he undertook to render the reform permanent by abolishing
all pensions, not excepting his own, and curtailing the gratuities
too frequently bestowed on favorites out of the prince's privy purse.
To succeed in this design, which he could not carry into effect
without changing the face of the government, he charged me with the
composition of a new state paper, furnishing the substance and the
form from his own idea.  He then advised me to raise my style as much
as possible above the level of my ordinary simplicity, and to give an
air of more eloquence to my phraseology.  A hint is sufficient, my
lord, said I; your excellency wishes to unite sublimity with
illumination, and it shall be so.  I shut myself up in the same
closet where I had already worked so successfully, and sat down
stiffly to my task, first calling to my aid the lofty and clear
perceptions, the noble and sonorous expressions of my old instructor,
the Archbishop of Grenada.

I began by laying it down as a first maxim of political philosophy,
that the vital functions, the respiration as it were of all monarchy,
depended on the strict administration of the finances; that in our
particular case, that duty became imperiously urgent, irresistibly
impressing on our consciences; and that the revenue should be
considered as the nerves and sinews of Spain, to hold her rivals in
check and keep her enemies in awe.  After this general declamation, I
pointed out to the sovereign--for to him the memorial was
addressed--that by cutting down all pensions and perquisites
dependent on the ordinary income, he would not thereby deprive
himself of that truly royal pleasure, a princely munificence towards
those of his subjects who had established a fair claim to his favors;
because, without drawing upon his treasury, he had the means of
distributing more acceptable rewards; that for one branch of service,
there were viceroyalties, lieutenancies, orders of merit, and all
sorts of military commissions; for another, high judicial situations
with salaries annexed, civil offices of magistracy with sounding
titles to give them consequence; and though last, not least, all the
temporal possessions of the church to animate the piety of its
spiritual pastors.

This memorial, which was much longer than the first, occupied me
nearly three days; but as luck would have it, my performance was
exactly to my master's mind, who, finding it written with sententious
cogency, and bristled up with metaphors in the declamatory parts,
complimented me in the highest terms.  That is vastly well expressed
indeed, said he, laying his finger on a passage here and there, and
picking out all the most inflated sentences he could find: that
language bears the stamp of fine composition, and might pass for the
production of a classic.  Courage, my friend!  I foresee that your
services will be worth their weight in gold.  And yet,
notwithstanding the applauses he lavished on my classical
composition, a few of his own heightening touches, he thought, would
make it read still better.  He put a good deal of his own stuff into
it, and the medley was manufactured into a piece of eloquence which
was considered as unanswerable by the king and all the court.  The
whole city joined in opinion with the higher orders, deriving the
most flattering hopes of the future from these grand promises, and
concluding that the monarchy must recover its pristine splendor
during the ministry of so illustrious a character.  His excellency,
finding that my sermon on economy was fraught with practical
inferences of utility to him, was kind enough to wish that I should
profit by the exercise of my own talents.  In conformity therefore
with his new system of patronage, he gave me an annuity of five
hundred crowns on the commandery of Castile; and the acceptance of it
was so much the more palatable, as no dirty work had been done for
it, but it was honestly though cheaply earned.




_CHAPTER VII._

_GIL BLAS MEETS WITH HIS FRIEND FABRICIO ONCE MORE; THE ACCIDENT,
PLACE, AND CIRCUMSTANCES DESCRIBED, WITH THE PARTICULARS OF THEIR
CONVERSATION TOGETHER._

Nothing gave his lordship greater pleasure than to hear the general
decision of Madrid on the conduct of his administration.  Not a day
passed but he inquired what they were saying of him in the political
world.  He kept spies in pay, to bring him an exact account of what
was going on in the city.  They particularized the most trivial
discourses which they overheard; and their orders being to suppress
nothing, his self-love was grazed now and then, for the people have a
way of bolting out home truths, without any nice calculation where
they may glance.

Finding that the count loved political small talk, I made it my
business to frequent places of public resort after dinner, and to
chime in with the conversation of genteel people whenever opportunity
offered.  Should the measures of government happen to be canvassed
among them, I pricked up my ears, and greedily took in their
discourse; if any thing worth repeating was said, his excellency was
sure to hear of it.  It can scarcely be necessary to hint, that I
never carried home any thing which was not likely to pay for the
porterage.

One day, returning from one of these little conversational parties,
my road lay in front of a hospital.  It occurred to me to go in.  I
walked through two or three wards filled with diseased patients, and
examined their beds to see that they were properly taken care of.
Among these unhappy wretches, whom I could not look at without the
most painful feelings, I observed one whose features struck me: it
surely could be no other than Fabricio, my countryman and chum!  To
look at him more closely, I drew near his bedside, and finding,
beyond a possibility of doubt, that it was the poet Nunez, I stopped
to look at him for a few seconds without saying a word.  He also
fixed his regards on me.  At length breaking silence, Do not my eyes
deceive me? said I.  Is it indeed Fabricio, and here?  It is indeed,
answered he, coldly, and you need not wonder at it.  Since we parted,
I have been working indefatigably at the trade of an author: I have
written novels, plays, and works of genius in every department.  My
brain is fairly spun out, and here I am.

I could not help laughing at such a sketch of literary biography, and
still more at the serious air of the accompanying action.  What!
cried I, has your muse brought you to this pass?  Has she played you
such a jade's trick as this?  Even as you witness, answered he; this
establishment is a sort of half-pay receptacle for invalids on the
muster-roll of disabled wit.  You have acted discreetly, my good
friend, to lay yourself out for promotion in a different line.  But
they tell me, you are no longer a courtier, and that your prospects
in political life were all blasted; nay, they went so far as to
affirm, that you were committed to close custody by the king's order.
They told you no more than the truth, replied I; the delightful
vision of political eminence wherein you left me last, soon shifted
the scene of my incoherent dreams to a prison and complete
destitution.  But for all that, my friend, here you behold me again
in a better plight than ever.  That is quite out of the question,
said Nunez: your deportment is discreet and decent; you have not that
supercilious and devil-take-the-hindmost sort of aspect which good
keep communicates to the human face.  The reverses of this checkered
life, replied I, have brought me down to the level of the more modest
virtues; I have taken a lesson in the school of adversity, to enjoy
the possession of a good stud without riding the great horse.

Tell me then candidly, cried Fabricio, raising his head upon his hand
with his elbow upon the pillow, what your present occupation can
possibly be.  A steward perhaps to some nobleman out at elbows, or
man of business to some rich widow!  Something better than either the
one or the other, rejoined I; but excuse me from saying more at
present: another time your curiosity shall be satisfied.  It is
enough at present to assure you that my means are equal to my
inclination, and that you may command independence through me; but
then you must submit to an embargo on your wit, and a non-intercourse
act between you and the faculty of writing, whether in verse or
prose.  Can you make this sacrifice to my friendship?  I have already
made it to the powers above, said he, in my last critical sickness.
A Dominican made me forswear poetry, as an amusement bordering on
criminality, but at all events beside the turnpike-road of good
sense.  I wish you joy, my dear Nunez, replied I; but beware of a
revoke.  There is not the least danger on that head, rejoined he: the
Muses and I have agreed on terms of separation: just as you came in
at that door, I was conning over a farewell ode.  Good Master
Fabricio, said I, with a wise swagging to and fro of my head, it is a
doubtful question whether your vow of abjuration ought to pass
current with the Dominican and myself: you seem over head and ears in
love with those virgins incarnate.  No, no, contended he peevishly, I
have cut the connection asunder.  Nay, more, I have quarrelled with
their keepers, the public.  The readers of these days do not deserve
an author of more genius than themselves: I should be sorry to write
down to their comprehension.  You are not to suppose that this is the
language of disgust; it is my sincere and well-weighed opinion.
Applause and hisses are just the same to me.  It is a toss up who
fails and who succeeds: the wit of to-day is the blockhead of
to-morrow.  What cursed fools our dramatists must be, to care for
anything but their poundage when their plays happen to be received!
It is all very well for a few nights!  But only fancy a revival at
the end of twenty years, and what a figure they will cut then!  The
audiences of the present day turn up their noses at the stock pieces
of the last age, and it is a question whether their taste will fare
better with their more critical descendants.  If that conjecture be
probable, the inventors of clap-traps now will be the butt of
cat-calls hereafter.  It is just the same with novel writers, and all
other manufacturers of unnecessary literature; they strut and fret
for an hour, and then are no more seen or heard of.  The glories of
successful authorship are the mere vapors of a murky atmosphere,
meteors of a marsh, foul coruscations of a dunghill, cathedral tapers
to put out the galaxy, blue flames of coarse paper held over a candle.

Though these caricatures of rival renown were the mere creations of
jealousy in the poet of the Asturias, it was not my business to
correct his ill temper.  I am delighted, said I, that wit and you
have had so serious a quarrel, and that the diarrhœa of your
inventive faculties has been cured by an astringent.  You may depend
on it, I will put you in the way of a good livelihood, without
drawing deep upon your intellectual credit.  So much the better,
cried he; wit smells like carrion in my nostrils, or rather like a
pungent and deleterious perfume; fragrant to the sense, but corrosive
to the vitals.  I heartily wish, my dear Fabricio, resumed I, that
you may always keep in that mind.  Only wash your hands completely of
poetry, and, you may depend on it, I will enable you to keep your
head above water without picking or stealing.  In the mean while,
added I, slipping a purse of sixty pistoles into his hand, accept
this as a slight instance of my regard.

O friend like the friends in days of yore, cried the son of barber
Nunez, out of his wits with joy and gratitude, it was heaven itself
which sent you into this hospital, whence your goodness is now
discharging me!  Before we parted, I gave him my address, and invited
him to come and see me as soon as his health would permit.  He opened
his eyes as an oyster does its shell, when I told him that I lodged
under the minister's roof.  O illustrious Gil Blas! said he, great as
Pompey and fortunate as Sylla, whose lot it is to be hand in glove
with the dictators of modern times!  I rejoice most disinterestedly
in your good fortune, because it is so very evident what a noble use
you make of it.




_CHAPTER VIII._

_GIL BLAS GETS FORWARD PROGRESSIVELY IN HIS MASTER'S AFFECTIONS.
SCIPIO'S RETURN TO MADRID, AND ACCOUNT OF HIS JOURNEY._

The Count of Olivarez, whom I shall henceforward call my lord duke,
because the king was pleased to confer that dignity on him about this
time, was infested with a weakness which I did not suffer to pass
without taking toll; it was a furious desire of being beloved.  The
moment he fancied that any one really liked him, his heart was caught
in a trap.  This was not lost upon my keen sense of character.  It
was not enough to do precisely as he ordered; I superadded a zeal in
the execution which made him mine.  I laid myself out to his liking
in every thing, and provided beforehand for his most eccentric wishes.

By conduct like this, which almost always answers, I became by
degrees my master's favorite; and he, on the other hand, as if he had
got round to my blind side also, wormed himself into my affections by
giving me his own.  So forward did I get into his good graces, as to
halve his confidence with Signor Carnero, his principal secretary.

Carnero had played my game, and that so successfully as to be
intrusted with the greater mysteries.  We two, therefore, were the
keepers of the prime minister's conscience, and held the keys of all
his secrets; with this difference, that Carnero was consulted on
state affairs, myself about his private concerns, dividing the
business into two separate departments; and we were each of us
equally pleased with our own.  We lived together without jealousy,
and certainly without attachment.  I had every reason to be satisfied
with my quarters, where continual intercourse gave me an opportunity
of prying into the duke's inmost soul, which was a masked battery to
all mankind beside, but plain as a pikestaff to me, when he no longer
questioned the sincerity of my attachment to him.

Santillane, said he one day, you were witness to the Duke of Lerma's
possession of an authority more like that of an absolute monarch than
a favorite minister; and yet I am still happier than he was at the
very summit of his good fortune.  He had two formidable enemies in
his own son, the Duke of Uzeda, and in the confessor of Philip the
Third: but there is no one now about the king who has credit enough
to stand in my way, or even, as I am aware, the slightest inclination
to do me mischief.

It is true, continued he, that on my accession to the ministry, it
was my first care to remove all hangers-on from about the prince but
those of my own family or connections.  By means of viceroyalties or
embassies I got rid of all the nobility who, by their personal merit,
could have interfered with me in the good graces of the sovereign,
whom I mean to engross entirely to myself; so that I may say at the
present moment, no statesman of the time holds me in check by the
ascendency of his personal influence.  You see, Gil Blas, I open my
mind to you.  As I have reason to think that you are mine, heart and
soul, I have chosen to put you in possession of everything.  You are
a clever youth, with reflection, penetration, and discretion; in
short, you are just the very creature to acquit yourself of all
possible little offices in all possible directions; you are also a
young fellow of very promising parts, and must, in the nature of
things, be in my interests.

There was no standing the attack which these flattering
representations were calculated to make upon the weakly-defended
fortress of my philosophy.  Unauthorized whims of avarice and
ambition mounted suddenly into my head, and brought forward certain
sentiments of political speculation which were supposed to have been
in abeyance.  I gave the minister an assurance that I should fulfil
his intentions to the utmost of my power, and held myself in
readiness to execute, without examination or interference, all the
orders it might be his pleasure to give me.

While I was thus disposed to take fortune in her affable fit, Scipio
returned from his peregrination.  I have no long story for you, said
he.  The lords of Leyva were delighted at your reception from the
king, and at the manner in which the Count of Olivarez and you came
to understand one another.

My friend, said I, you would have delighted them still more, had you
been able to tell them on what a footing I am now with my lord.  My
advances since your departure have been prodigious.  Happy man be his
dole, my dear master, answered he: my mind forebodes that we shall
cut a figure.

Let us change the subject, said I, and talk of Oviedo.  You have been
in the Asturias.  How did you leave my mother?  Ah, sir! replied he,
with an undertaker's decency of countenance, I have a melancholy tale
to tell you from that quarter.  O heaven! exclaimed I, my mother then
is dead!  Six months since, said my secretary, did the good lady pay
the debt of nature, and your uncle, Signor Gil Perez, about the same
period.

My mother's death preyed upon my susceptible nature, though in my
childhood I had not received from her those little fondling
indications of maternal love so necessary to amalgamate with the more
serious convictions of filial duty.  The good canon, too, came in for
his share in bringing me up according to the rules of godliness and
honesty.  My serious grief was not lasting; but I never lost sight of
a certain tender recollection, whenever the idea of my dear relations
shot across my mind.




_CHAPTER IX._

_HOW MY LORD DUKE MARRIED HIS ONLY DAUGHTER, AND TO WHOM; WITH THE
BITTER CONSEQUENCES OF THAT MARRIAGE._

Very shortly after the son of Cosclina's return, my lord duke fell
into a brown study; and it lasted a complete week.  I conceived, of
course, that he was brooding over some great measure of government;
but family concerns were the object of his musings.  Gil Blas, said
he one day after dinner, you may perceive that my mind is a good deal
distracted.  Yes, my good friend, I am pondering over an affair of
the utmost consequence to my feelings.  You shall know all about it.

My daughter, Donna Maria, pursued he, is marriageable, and of course
beset with suitors.  The Count de Niéblés, eldest son of the Duke de
Medina Sidonia, head of the Guzman family, and Don Lewis de Haro,
eldest son of the Marquis de Carpio and my eldest sister, are the two
most likely competitors.  The latter, in particular, is superior in
point of merit to all his rivals, so that the whole court has fixed
on him for my son-in-law.  Nevertheless, without entering into
private motives for treating him, as well as the Count de Niéblés,
with a refusal, my present views are fixed upon Don Ramires Nunez de
Guzman, Marquis of Toral, head of the Guzmans d'Abrados, another
branch of the family.  To that nobleman and his progeny, by my
daughter, I mean to leave all my property, and to entail on them the
title of Count d'Olivarez, with the additional dignity of grandee; so
that my grandchildren and their descendants, issue of the Abrados and
Olivarez branch, will be considered as taking precedence in the house
of Guzman.

Tell me now, Santillane, added he, do you not like my project?
Excuse me, my lord, pleaded I, with a shrug; the design is worthy of
the genius which gave birth to it: my only fear is, lest the Duke of
Medina Sidonia should think fit to be out of humor at it.  Let him
take it as he list, resumed the minister; I give myself very little
concern about that.  His branch is no favorite with me: they have
choused that of Abrados out of their precedence and many of their
privileges.  I shall be far less affected by his ill humors than by
the disappointment of my sister, the Marchioness de Carpio, when she
sees my daughter slip through her son's fingers.  But let that be as
it may, I am determined to please myself, and Don Ramires shall be
the man; it is a settled point.

My lord duke, having announced this firm resolve, did not carry it
into effect without giving a new proof of his singular policy.  He
presented a memorial to the king, entreating him and the queen, in
concert, to do him the honor of taking the choice of a husband for
his daughter on themselves, at the same time acquainting them with
the pretensions of the suitors, and professing to abide by their
election; but he took care, when naming the Marquis de Toral, to
evince clearly whither his own wishes pointed.  The king, therefore,
with a blind deference for his minister, answered thus:--


"I think that Don Ramires Nunez deserves Donna Maria; but determine
for yourself.  The match of your own choosing will be most agreeable
to me.

(Signed) THE KING."


The minister made a point of showing this answer everywhere; and
affecting to consider it as a royal mandate, hastened his daughter's
marriage with the Marquis de Toral; a death-blow to the hopes of the
Marchioness de Carpio and the rest of the Guzmans who had been
speculating on an alliance with Donna Maria.  These rival players of
a losing game, not being able to break off the match, put the best
face they could upon it, and made the fashionable world to resound
with their costly celebrations of the event.  A superficial observer
might have fancied that the whole family was delighted with the
arrangement; but the pouters and ill-wishers were soon revenged most
cruelly at my lord duke's expense.  Donna Maria was brought to bed of
a daughter at the end of ten months; the infant was still-born, and
the mother died a few days afterwards.

What a loss for a father who had no eyes, as one may say, but for his
daughter, and in her loss felt the miscarriage of his design to quash
the right of precedence in the branch of Medina Sidonia!  Stung to
the quick by his misfortune, he shut himself up for several days, and
was visible to no one but myself; a sincere sympathizer, from the
recollection of my own experience in his sorrow.  The occasion drew
forth fresh tears to Antonia's memory.  The death of the Marchioness
de Toral, under circumstances so similar, tore open a wound
imperfectly skinned over, and so exasperated my affliction, that the
minister, though he had enough to do with his own sufferings, could
not help taking notice of mine.  It seemed unaccountable how exactly
his feelings were echoed.  Gil Blas, said he one day, when my tears
seemed to feed upon indulgence, my greatest consolation consists in
having a bosom friend so much alive to all my distresses.  Ah! my
lord, answered I, giving him the full credit of my amiable
tenderness, I must be ungrateful and degenerate in my nature if I did
not lament as for myself.  Can I be aware that you mourn over a
daughter of accomplished merit, whom you loved so tenderly, without
shedding tears of fellow-feeling?  No, my lord, I am too much
naturalized to you on the side of obligation not to take a permanent
interest in all your pleasures and disappointments.




_CHAPTER X._

_GIL BLAS MEETS WITH THE POET NUNEZ BY ACCIDENT, AND LEARNS THAT HE
HAS WRITTEN A TRAGEDY, WHICH IS ON THE POINT OF BEING BROUGHT OUT AT
THE THEATRE ROYAL.  THE ILL FORTUNE OF THE PIECE, AND THE GOOD
FORTUNE OF ITS AUTHOR._

The minister began to pick up his crumbs, and myself consequently to
get into feather again, when one evening I went out alone in the
carriage to take an airing.  On the road I met the poet of the
Asturias, who had been lost to my knowledge ever since his discharge
from the hospital.  He was very decently dressed.  I called him up,
gave him a seat in my carriage, and we drove together to St. Jerome's
meadow.

Master Nunez, said I, it is lucky for me to have met you
accidentally; for otherwise I should not have had the pleasure...  No
severe speeches, Santillane, interrupted he with considerable
eagerness: I must own frankly that I did not mean to keep up your
acquaintance, and I will tell you the reason.  You promised me a good
situation provided I abjured poetry; but I have found a very
excellent one on condition of keeping my talents in constant play.  I
accepted the latter alternative, as squaring best with my own humor.
A friend of mine got me an employment under Don Bertrand Gomez del
Ribero, treasurer of the king's galleys.  This Don Bertrand, wanting
to have a wit in his pay, and finding my turn for poetical
composition very much in unison with his own sense of what is
excellent, has chosen me in preference to five or six authors who
offered themselves as candidates for the place of his private
secretary.

I am delighted at the news, my dear Fabricio, said I, for this Don
Bertrand must be very rich.  Rich indeed! answered he; they say that
he does not know himself how much he is worth.  However that may be,
my business under him is as follows: He prides himself on his turn
for gallantry, at the same time wishing to pass for a man of genius;
he therefore keeps up an epistolary intercourse of wit with several
ladies who have an infinite deal, and borrows my brain to indite such
letters as may amplify the opinion of his sprightliness and elegance.
I write to one for him in verse, to another in prose, and sometimes
carry the letters myself, to prove the agility of my heels as well as
the ingenuity of my head.

But you do not tell me, said I, what I most want to know.  Are you
well paid for your epigrammatic cards of compliment?  Yes, most
plentifully, answered he.  Rich men are not always open-handed; and I
know some who are downright curmudgeons; but Don Bertrand has behaved
in the most handsome manner.  Besides a salary of two hundred
pistoles, I receive some little occasional perquisites from him,
sufficient to set me above the world, and enable me to live on an
equal footing with some choice spirits of the literary circles, who
are willing, like myself, to set care at defiance.  But then, resumed
I, has your treasurer critical skill enough to distinguish the
beauties of a performance from its blemishes?  The least likely man
in the world, answered Nunez; a flippant-tongued smatterer, with a
miserable assortment of materials for judging.  Yet he gives himself
out for chief justice and lord president of Apollo's tribunal.  His
decisions are adventurous, if not always lucky; while his opinions
are maintained in so high a tone and with so bullying a challenge of
infallibility, that nine times out of ten the issue of an argument is
silence, though not conviction, on the part of the opponent, as a
measure of precaution against the gathering storm of foul language
and contemptuous sneers.

You may readily suppose, continued he, that I take especial care
never to contradict him, though it almost exceeds human patience to
forbear; for, to say nothing of the unpalatable phrases that might be
hailed down on my defenceless head, I should stand a very good chance
of being shoved by the shoulders out of doors.  I therefore am
discreet enough to approve what he praises, and to condemn without
mitigation or appeal whatever he is pleased to find fault with.  By
this easy compliance--for poets are compelled to acquire a knack of
knocking under to those by whom they live, not even excepting their
booksellers--I have gained the esteem and friendship of my patron.
He has employed me to write a tragedy on a plot of his own.  I have
executed it under his inspection; and if the piece succeeds, a
percentage on the laud and honor must accrue to him.

I asked our poet what was the title of his tragedy.  He informed me
that it was "The Count of Saldagna," and that it would come out in
two or three days.  I told him that I wished it all possible success,
and thought so favorably of his genius as to entertain considerable
hopes.  So do I, said he; but hope never tells a more flattering tale
than in the ear of a dramatic author.  You might as well attempt to
fix the wind by nailing the weathercock as speculate on the reception
of a new piece with an audience.

At length the day of performance arrived.  I could not go to the
play, being prevented by official business.  The only thing to be
done was to send Scipio, that he might bring me back word how it went
off, for I was sincerely interested in the event.  After waiting
impatiently for his return, in he came with a long face, which boded
no good.  Well, said I, how was "The Count of Saldagna" welcomed by
the critics?  Very roughly, answered he; never was there a play more
brutally handled; I left the house in high anger at the injustice and
insolence of the pit.  It serves him right, rejoined I.  Nunez is no
better than a madman, to be always running his head against the stone
walls of a theatre.  If he was in his senses, could he have preferred
the hisses and catcalls of an unfeeling mob to the ease and dignity
he might have commanded under my patronage?  Thus did I inveigh with
friendly vehemence against the poet of the Asturias, and disturb the
even tenor of my mind for an event which the sufferer hailed with
joy, and inserted among the well-omened particulars of his journal.

He came to see me within two days, and appeared in high spirits.
Santillane, cried he, I am come to receive your congratulations.  My
fortune is made, my friend, though my play is marred.  You know what
a mistake they made on the first and last night of "The Count of
Saldagna;" hissed instead of applauding!  You would have thought all
the wild beasts of the forest had been let loose, with their ears
fortified against the softening power of poetry; but the more they
bellowed, the better I fared, and they have roared me into a
provision for life.

There was no knowing what to make of this incident in the drama of
our poet's adventures.  What is all this, Fabricio? said I; how can
theatrical damnation have conjured up such Elysian ecstasy?  It is
exactly so, answered he; I told you before that Don Bertrand had
thrown in some of the circumstances; and he was fully convinced that
there was no defect but in the taste of the spectators.  They might
be very good judges; but, if they were, he was no judge at all!
Nunez, said he this morning,

  Victrix causa Diis placuit, sed victa Catoni.[*]


[*] Members of parliament, and the ladies, will probably expect a
translation of these hard words; but I refer the former to their
dictionaries, to which they bade a long farewell on leaving Eton or
Harrow, and the latter to an extended paraphrase of five acts in the
tragedy of Cato.  Those of the softer sex who may think the Stoic
philosophy rude and uncouth, will feel their nerves vibrate in unison
with the love scenes.  TRANSLATOR.


Your piece has been ill received by the public; but against that you
may place my entire approbation, and thus you ought to set your heart
at rest.  By way of something to balance the bad taste of the age, I
shall settle an annuity of two thousand crowns on you: go to my
solicitor, and let him draw the deed.  We have been about it: the
treasurer has signed and sealed; my first quarter is paid in
advance...

I wished Fabricio joy on the unhappy fate of "The Count of Saldagna;"
and probably most authors would have envied his failure more than all
the success that ever succeeded.  You are in the right, continued he,
to prefer my fortune to my fame.  What a lucky peal of disapprobation
in double choir!  If the public had chosen to ring the changes on my
merits rather than my misdeeds, what would they have done for my
pocket?  A mere paltry nothing.  The common pay of the theatre might
have kept me from starving; but the wind of popular malice has blown
me a comfortable pension, engrossed on safe and legal parchment.




_CHAPTER XI._

_SANTILLANE GIVES SCIPIO A SITUATION; THE LATTER SETS OUT FOR NEW
SPAIN._

My secretary could not look at the unexpected good luck of Nunez the
poet without envy; he talked of nothing else for a week.  The whims
of that baggage, fortune, said he, are most unaccountable: she
delights to turn her lottery wheel into the lap of a sorry author,
while she deals out her disappointments like a step-mother to the
race of good ones.  I should have no objection, though, if she would
throw me up a prize in one of her vertical progresses.  That is
likely enough to happen, said I, and sooner than you imagine.  Here
you are in her temple; for it is scarcely too presumptuous to call
the house of a prime minister the temple of fortune, where favors are
conferred by wholesale, and votaries grow fat on the spoils of her
altar.  That is very true, sir, answered he; but we must have
patience, and wait till the happy moment comes.  Take my advice while
it is worth having, Scipio, replied I, and make your mind easy:
perhaps you are on the eve of some good appointment.  And so it
turned out; for within a few days an opportunity offered of employing
him advantageously in my lord duke's service; and I did not suffer
the happy moment to pass by.

I was engaged in chat one morning with Don Raymond Caporis, the prime
minister's steward, and our conversation turned on the sources of his
excellency's income.  My lord, said he, enjoys the commanderies of
all the military orders, yielding a revenue of forty thousand crowns
a year; and he is only obliged to wear the cross of Alcantara.
Moreover, his three offices of great chamberlain, master of the
horse, and high chancellor of the Indies, bring him in an income of
two hundred thousand crowns; and yet all this is nothing in
comparison of the immense sums which he receives through other
transatlantic channels; but you will be puzzled to guess how.  When
vessels clear out from Seville or Lisbon for those parts of the
world, he ships wine, oil, grain, and other articles, the produce of
his own estate; and his consignments are duty free.  With that
perquisite in his pocket, he sells his merchandise for four times its
current price in Spain, and then lays out the money in spices,
coloring materials, and other things which cost next to nothing in
the new world, and are sold very dear in Europe.  Already has he
realized some millions by this traffic, without detracting from the
dues of his royal master.

You will easily account for it, continued he, that the people
concerned in carrying on this trade return with great fortunes in
their pockets; for my lord thinks it but reasonable that they should
divide their diligence between his business and their own.

That shrewd son of chance and opportunity, of whom we are speaking,
overheard our conversation, and could not help interrupting Don
Raymond to the following purport: Upon my word, Signor Caporis, I
should like to be one of those people; for I am fond of travelling,
and have long wished to see Mexico.  Your inclinations as a tourist
shall soon be gratified, said the steward, if Signor de Santillane
will not stand in the way of your wishes.  However particular I may
think it my duty to be about the persons whom I send to the West
Indies in that capacity,--and they are all of my appointment,--you
shall be placed on the list at all adventures, if your master wishes
it.  You will confer on me a particular favor, said I to Don Raymond;
be so good as to do it in kindness to me.  Scipio is a young fellow
much in my good graces, very capable in business, and will be found
irreproachable in his conduct.  In a word, I would as soon answer for
him as myself.

That being the case, replied Caporis, he has only to repair
immediately to Seville: the ships are to sail for South America in a
month.  I shall give him a letter at his departure for a man who will
put him in the way of making a fortune, without the slightest
interference in his excellency's dues and profits, which ought to be
held sacred by him.

Scipio, delighted with his berth, was in haste to set out for
Seville, with a thousand crowns, with which I furnished him, to make
purchases of wine and oil in Andalusia, and enable him to trade on
his own bottom in the West Indies.  And yet, overjoyed as he was to
make a voyage, and as he hoped his fortune therewithal, he could not
part from me without tears; and the separation raised the waters even
from my dry fountains.




_CHAPTER XII._

_DON ALPHONSO DE LEYVA COMES TO MADRID; THE MOTIVE OF HIS JOURNEY A
SEVERE AFFLICTION TO GIL BLAS, AND A CAUSE OF REJOICING SUBSEQUENT
THEREON._

No sooner had I parted with Scipio than one of the minister's pages
brought me a note conceived in the following terms: "If Signor de
Santillane will take the trouble of calling at the sign of Saint
Gabriel, in the street of Toledo, he will there see a friend who is
not indifferent to him."

Who can this nameless friend possibly be? said I to myself.  What can
be the meaning of all this mystery?  Obviously to occasion me the
pleasure of a surprise.  I attended the summons immediately, and on
my arrival at the place appointed, was not a little astonished to
find Don Alphonso de Leyva there.  Is it possible! exclaimed I: you
here, my lord?  Yes, my dear Gil Blas, answered he with a close
compression of my hand in his, it is Don Alphonso himself.  Well! but
what brings you to Madrid? said I.  You will be not a little
startled, rejoined he, and no less vexed at the occasion of my
journey.  They have taken my government of Valencia from me, and the
prime minister has sent for me to give an account of my conduct.  For
a whole quarter of an hour I was like a man stupefied; then,
recovering the powers of speech, Of what, said I, are you accused?  I
know nothing at all about it, answered he; but my disgrace is
probably owing to a visit paid about three weeks ago to the Cardinal
Duke of Lerma, who was banished about a month since to his seat at
Denia.

Yes, indeed! cried I in a pet, you may well attribute your misfortune
to that imprudent visit: there is no occasion to look out for causes
and effects elsewhere; but give me leave to say that you have not
acted with your usual good sense, in claiming acquaintance with that
favorite out of favor.  The leap is taken, and the neck broken, said
he; and I have nothing to do but to make the best of a bad bargain: I
shall retire with my family to our paternal estate at Leyva, where
the remnant of my days will glide away in peace and obscurity.  What
taunts and teases me is the requisition of appearing before a haughty
minister, who may receive me with all the insolence of office.  How
humiliating to the pride of a Spaniard!  And yet it is a measure of
necessity; but before the degrading ceremony took place, I wanted to
talk it over with you.  Sir, said I, do not announce your arrival to
the minister, till I have ascertained the nature of the reports to
your discredit, for there are few evils without a remedy.  Whatever
may be your alleged crimes, you will give me leave, if you please, to
act in the affair as gratitude and friendship shall dictate.  With
this assurance, I left him at his inn, and promised to let him hear
from me soon.

As I had taken no active part in state affairs since the two
memorials, in which my eloquence was so signally displayed, I went to
look for Carnero, with a view to inquire whether Don Alphonso's
government was really taken from him.  He answered in the
affirmative, but professed not to know the reason.  Finding how
things stood, I determined to apply at head-quarters, and to learn
the grounds of grievance from his lordship's own mouth.

My spirits were really harassed, so that there was no need of putting
on the trappings and the suits of woe, to attract my lord duke's
notice.  What is the matter, Santillane? said he as soon as he saw
me.  I perceive a marked unhappiness on your countenance, and tears
just ready to trickle down your cheeks.  Has any one behaved ill to
you?  Tell me, and you shall have your revenge.  My lord, answered I
in a melancholy tone, even though my grief would seek to hide itself,
it must have vent: my despair is past endurance.  The report goes
that Don Alphonso is no longer governor of Valencia; a severer stroke
could not have been inflicted on me.  What say you, Gil Blas? replied
the minister in astonishment: what interest can you take in this Don
Alphonso and his government?  On this question, I detailed at length
my obligations to the lords of Leyva, and modestly stated my own
interference with the Duke of Lerma, to obtain the appointment for my
friend.

When his excellency had heard me through with the most polite and
kind attention, he spoke thus: Make yourself easy, Gil Blas.  Besides
my entire ignorance of what you have just told me, I must own that I
considered Don Alphonso as the cardinal's creature.  Only put
yourself in my place: was not the visit to his eminence a most
suspicious circumstance?  Yet I am willing to believe that, owing his
preferment to that minister, he might have remembered him in his
adversity from a motive of pure gratitude.  I am sorry for having
displaced a man who owed his elevation to you; but if I have pulled
down your handiwork I can build it up again.  I mean to do still more
than the Duke of Lerma for you.  Your friend Don Alphonso was only
governor of Valencia; I appoint him viceroy of Arragon: you may send
him word so yourself, and order him hither to take the oaths.

At these words, my feelings changed from extreme grief to an excess
of joy, which completely caricatured the mediocrity of common sense,
and made me utter an incoherent rhapsody of thanks: but the want of
method in the madness of my discourse was not taken amiss; and on my
hinting that Don Alphonso was already at Madrid, he told me that I
might present him this very day.  I ran to the sign of Saint Gabriel,
and communicated my own raptures to Don Cæsar's son, by informing him
of his new appointment.  He could not believe what I told him, but
found it a hard matter to persuade himself that the prime minister,
though likely enough to be very well disposed towards me, should
extend his friendship so far as to dispose of viceroyalties at my
instance.  I carried him with me to my lord duke, who received him
very affably, complimented him on his uniform good conduct in his
government of Valencia, and finished by saying that the king,
considering him as qualified for a higher station, had named him for
the viceroyalty of Arragon.  Besides, added he, your family is of a
rank not to disparage the dignity of the office, so that the
Arragonese nobility will have no plea for excepting against the
choice of the court.

His excellency made no mention of me, and the public was kept in the
dark as to my share in the business; indeed, this prudent silence was
lucky both for Don Alphonso and the minister, since the tongues of
defamers would have been busy in taking to pieces the pretensions of
a viceroy who owed his preferment to my patronage.

As soon as Don Cæsar's son could speak with certainty of his new
honors, he sent off an express for Valencia with the information to
his father and Seraphina, who soon arrived in Madrid.  Their first
object was to find me out, and ply me thick and threefold with
acknowledgments.  What a proud and affecting sight for me, to behold
the three persons in the world nearest my heart, vying with each
other in their testimonies of affection and gratitude!  The pleasure
my zeal seemed personally to give them was equal to the dignity
conferred on their house by the post of viceroy.  They even talked
with me on a footing of equality, and scarcely remembered my original
distance or servitude in the fervor of their present feelings.  But
not to dwell on unnecessary topics, Don Alphonso, having taken the
oaths and returned thanks, left Madrid with his family, to take up
his abode at Saragossa.  He made his public entry with appropriate
magnificence; and the Arragonese caused it to appear, by their
cordial reception, that I had a very pretty knack at picking out a
viceroy.




_CHAPTER XIII._

_GIL BLAS MEETS DON GASTON DE GOGOLLOS AND DON ANDREW DE TORDESILLAS
AT THE DRAWING-ROOM, AND ADJOURNS WITH THEM TO A MORE CONVENIENT
PLACE.  THE STORY OF DON GASTON AND DONNA HELENA DE GALISTEO
CONCLUDED.  SANTILLANE RENDERS SOME SERVICE TO TORDESILLAS._

I was up to the hilts in joy at having so marvellously metamorphosed
an ex-governor into a viceroy; the lords of Leyva themselves were not
primed and loaded so near to bursting.  But very soon I had another
opportunity of employing my credit in the beaten track of friendship;
and there is the more occasion to quote these instances, that my
readers may clearly discern with how different a man they are in
company, from that graceless Gil Blas, who, under the former
ministry, carried on a shameless traffic in the honors and emoluments
of the state.

One day I was waiting in the king's antechamber, in conversation with
some noblemen, who, knowing me to stand well with the prime minister,
were not ashamed of taking me by the hand.  In the crowd was Don
Gaston de Cogollos, whom I had left a prisoner in the tower of
Segovia.  He was with Don Andrew de Tordesillas, the warden.  I
readily quitted my company to go and renew my acquaintance with my
two friends.  If they were astonished at the sight of me, I was no
less so to find them here.  After mutual greetings, Don Gaston said,
Signor de Santillane, we have many inquiries to make of each other,
and this place affords little opportunity for private intercourse;
allow me to request your company where we may open our hearts freely.
I made no objection; we pushed our way through the crowd, and left
the palace.  Don Gaston's carriage was ready waiting in the street:
we all three got into it, and drove to the great market-place, where
the bull-fights are exhibited.  There Cogollos lived in a very
handsome house.

Signor Gil Blas, said Don Andrew on our entrance, at your departure
from Segovia you seemed to have conceived a thorough hatred against
the court, and to have formed a settled purpose of abandoning it
forever.  Such was, in fact, my design, answered I; nor were my
sentiments at all changed during the lifetime of the late king; but
when the prince his son came to the throne, I had a mind to see
whether the new monarch would know me again.  He did so, and received
me favorably, with a strong recommendation to the prime minister, who
admitted me to his friendship, and took me more into his confidence
than ever did the Duke of Lerma.  This, Signor Don Andrew, is my
story.  And now tell me whether you still hold your office in the
tower of Segovia.  No, indeed, answered he; my lord duke has removed
me, and put another in my room.  He probably considered me as
entirely devoted to his predecessor.  And I, said Don Gaston, was set
at liberty for the contrary reason; the prime minister was no sooner
informed that my imprisonment was by the Duke of Lerma's order, than
he ordered me to be released.  The present business, Signor Gil Blas,
is to relate the subsequent particulars of my adventures.

The first thing I did, continued he, after thanking Don Andrew for
his kind attentions during my confinement, was to repair to Madrid.
I presented myself before the Count Duke of Olivarez, who said, You
need not be apprehensive of any blemish on your character in
consequence of your late misfortune; you are honorably acquitted:
nay, your innocence is so much the more satisfactorily established,
as the Marquis of Villareal, with whom you were supposed to be
implicated, was not guilty.  Though a Portuguese, and related to the
Duke of Braganza, he is less in his interests than in those of the
king my master.  That connection, therefore, ought not to have been
imputed to you as a crime; but, to repair your wrongs, the king has
given you a lieutenant's commission in the Spanish guards.  This I
accepted, begging it as a favor of his excellency to allow me, before
I joined my regiment, to go and see my aunt, Donna Eleonora de
Laxarilla, at Coria.  The minister gave me leave of absence for a
month, and I departed with only one servant.

We had got beyond Colmenar, and were threading a narrow pass between
two mountains, when we came within sight of a gentleman defending
himself bravely against three men, who all fell upon him together.  I
did not hesitate about going to his aid, but hastened forward and
planted myself by his side.  I remarked, while we were fighting, that
our enemies were masked, and that we had to do with expert swordsmen.
But we triumphed over the united advantages of their skill and
disparity.  I ran one of the three through the body; he fell from his
horse, and the two others immediately betook themselves to flight.
The victory indeed was scarcely less fatal to us than to the wretch
whom I had killed, for we were both dangerously wounded.  But
conceive my surprise, when I discovered the gentleman to be Combados,
the husband of Donna Helena.  He was no less astonished at
recognizing me as his defender.  Ah, Don Gaston! exclaimed he, was it
you, then, who came to my assistance?  When you took my part so
generously, you little thought it was the person who had snatched
your mistress from you.  I really did not know it, answered I; but
though I had, do you think I could have wavered about doing as I have
done?  Can you entertain so ill an opinion of me as to believe my
soul so sordid?  No, no, replied he; I think better of you; and
should I die of my wounds, it will be my prayer that yours may not
disable you from profiting by my death.  Combados, said I, though I
have not yet forgotten Donna Helena, know that I do not pant after
the possession of her charms at the expense of your life; so far from
it, that I congratulate myself on having contributed to your rescue
from assassination, since by so doing I have performed an acceptable
service to your wife.

While we were communing together, my servant dismounted, and drawing
near to the gentleman stretched at his length, took off his mask,
when Combados, with sensations of gratitude for his deliverance,
distinctly traced the features.  It is Caprara, exclaimed he; that
treacherous cousin, who, in mere disgust at having missed a rich
inheritance which he had unjustly disputed with me, has long since
cherished a murderous design against my life, and fixed on this day
to put it in execution; but heaven has turned him over to its
determined vengeance, and made him the victim of his own attempt.

While this conversation was going on, our blood was flowing at the
same rate, and we were becoming more exhausted every minute.
Nevertheless, disabled as we were, we had strength enough to reach
the town of Villarejo, which lies within a gunshot or two from the
field of battle.  At the very first house of call we sent for
surgeons.  The most expert came at our summons.  He examined our
wounds, and reported them as dangerous.  After taking off the
bandages and dressing them a second time, he pronounced those of Don
Blas to be mortal.  Of mine he thought more favorably, and the event
corresponded with his prognostic.

Combados, finding himself consigned to the grave, thought only of due
preparation for a most serious event.  He sent an express to his
wife, with an account of what had happened, particularizing his
present sad condition.  Donna Helena soon arrived at Villarejo.  Her
mind was drawn different ways by two opposite occasions of
distress--the hazard of her husband's life, and the fear of feeling
the revival of a half extinguished flame at the sight of me.  This
sight occasioned her to experience a terrible agitation.  Madam, said
Don Blas when she appeared in his presence, you are come just in time
to receive my farewell.  I am at the point of death, and I consider
my fate as a punishment from heaven for having taken you from Don
Gaston by a feint: far from murmuring at it, I exhort you with my
last breath to restore to him a heart which I had stolen from him.
Donna Helena answered him only by her tears; and indeed it was the
best answer she could make; for she had neither forgotten her first
love, nor the artifices whereby she had been influenced to renounce
her plighted faith.

It happened, as the surgeon had anticipated, that in less than three
days Combados died of his wounds, while mine, on the contrary, wore
the appearance of convalescence.  The young widow, whom no earthly
considerations could detach from the care of transporting her late
husband's remains to Coria, that they might be deposited with due
honors in the family vault, left Villarejo on her return, after
inquiring, merely as a matter of course, how I was going on.  As soon
as I was well enough to be removed, I bent my course to Coria, where
my recovery was soon ascertained.  My aunt, Donna Eleonora, and Don
George de Galisteo, were determined that my marriage with Helena
should take place forthwith, lest some new caprice of fortune should
part us once more.  The ceremony was privately performed, on account
of the late melancholy event, and within a few days I returned to
Madrid with Donna Helena.  As my leave of absence had expired, I was
afraid lest the minister should have superseded me in my lieutenancy;
but he had not filled up the vacancy, and received my apologies very
graciously.

Thus am I, continued Cogollos, lieutenant of the Spanish guards, and
my situation is exactly to my mind.  The circle of my friends is
respectable and pleasant, and I live at my ease among them.  Would I
could say as much! exclaimed Don Andrew; but I am very far from being
satisfied with my lot: I have lost my appointment, which was not
without its advantages, and have no friends of sufficient interest to
procure me a better berth.  Excuse me, Signor Don Andrew, cried I,
with a sort of upbraiding smile, you have a friend in me who may
chance to be better than no friend at all.  I have told you already
that I am a greater favorite with my lord duke than with the Duke of
Lerma; and will you tell me to my face that you have no interest at
court?  Have you not already experienced the contrary?  Recollect
that, through the Archbishop of Grenada's powerful recommendation, I
procured you a nomination for Mexico, where you would have made your
fortune, if love had not stepped in and marred it at Alicant.  My
means are now more extensive, since I have the ear of the prime
minister.  I give myself up to you then, replied Tordesillas; but do
not send me into New Spain, though the first appointment in the
colonies were at your disposal.

Here we were interrupted by Donna Helena, who came into the room, and
improved even upon the visions of my fancy by the reality of her
charms.  Cogollos introduced me as the companion who had solaced the
tedious hours of his imprisonment.  Yes, madam, said I to Donna
Helena, my conversation did indeed soothe his sorrows, for it turned
on you.  The compliment was not thrown away, and I took my leave with
repeated congratulations.  With respect to Tordesillas, I assured him
that within a week he should know how far my power, as well as will,
extended.

Nor were these mere words.  On the very next day, the opportunity
occurred.  Santillane, said his excellency, the place of governor in
the royal prison of Valladolid is vacant: it is worth more than three
hundred pistoles a year, and is yours if you will accept of it.  Not
if it were worth ten thousand ducats, answered I, for it would carry
me away from your lordship.  But, replied the minister, you may fill
it by deputy, and only visit occasionally.  That is as it may be,
rejoined I; but I shall only accept it on condition of resigning in
favor of Don Andrew de Tordesillas, a brave and loyal gentleman; I
should like to give him this place in acknowledgment of his kindness
to me in the tower of Segovia.

[Illustration: Gil Blas accepting appointment]

This plea made the minister laugh heartily, and say, As far as I see,
Gil Blas, you mean to make yourself a general patron.  Even so be it,
my friend; the vacancy is yours for Tordesillas; but tell me
unfeignedly what fellow-feeling you have in the business, for you are
not such a fool as to throw away your interest for nothing.  My lord,
answered I, Don Andrew charged me nothing for all his acts of
friendship; and should not a man repay his obligations?  You are
become highly moral and self-mortified, replied his excellency;
rather more so than under the last administration.  Precisely so,
rejoined I; then evil communication corrupted my principles; bargain
and sale were the order of the day, and I conformed to the
established practice: now, all preferment is allotted on the footing
of a meritorious free gift, and my integrity shall not be the last to
fall in with the fashion.




_CHAPTER XIV._

_SANTILLANE'S VISIT TO POET NUNEZ; THE COMPANY AND CONVERSATION._

One day, after dinner, a fancy seized me to go and see the poet of
the Asturias, feeling a sort of curiosity to know on what floor he
lodged.  I repaired to the house of Signor Don Bertrand Gomez del
Ribero, and asked for Nunez.  He does not live here now, said the
porter, but over the way, in apartments at the back of the house.  I
went thither, and, crossing a small court, entered an unfurnished
parlor, where my friend Fabricio was sitting at table, doing the
honors to five or six guests from the hamlet and liberty of Parnassus.

They were at the latter end of a feast, and of course at the
beginning of an affray; but as soon as they perceived me, a dead
silence succeeded to their obstreperous argumentation.  Nunez rose
from his seat with much pomp and circumstance of politeness to
receive me, saying, Gentlemen, Signor de Santillane!  He does me the
honor to visit me under this humble roof; as the favorite of the
prime minister, you will all join with me in tendering your humble
services.  At this introduction, the worshipful company got up and
made their best bows; for my rank could not fail of procuring me
respect from the manufacturers of dedications.  Though I was neither
hungry nor thirsty, it was impossible not to sit down and drink a
toast in such society.

My presence appearing to be a restraint, Gentlemen, said I, it should
seem that I have interrupted your conversation: resume it, or you
drive me away.  My learned friends, said Fabricio, were discussing
the "Iphigenia" of Euripides.  The bachelor, Melchior de Villégas, a
clever man of the first rank in the republic of letters, resumed the
topic by asking Don Jacinto de Romerate which was the point of
interest in that tragedy.  Don Jacinto ascribed it to the imminent
danger of Iphigenia.  The bachelor contended, offering to prove his
proposition by all the evidence admissible at the bar of logic or
criticism, that the danger of a trumpery girl had nothing to do with
the real sympathy of that affecting piece.  What has to do with it
then? bawled the old licentiate Gabriel of Leon, indignantly.  It
turns with the wind, replied the bachelor.

The whole company burst into a shout of laughter at this assertion,
which they were far from considering as serious; and I myself thought
that Melchior had only launched it by way of adding the zest of wit
to the severity of critical discussion.  But I was out in my
calculation respecting the character of that eminent scholar: he had
not a grain of sprightliness or pleasantry in his whole composition.
Laugh as you please, gentlemen, replied he, very coolly; I maintain
that there is no circumstance but the wind, unless it be the
weathercock, to interest, to strike, to rouse the passions of the
spectator.  Figure to yourselves a multitudinous army assembled for
the purpose of laying siege to Troy; take into the account the eager
haste of the officers and common men to carry their enterprise into
execution, that they may return with their best legs foremost into
Greece, where they have left everything most dear to them--their
household gods, their wives and their children: all this while a
mischievous wind from the wrong quarter keeps them port-bound at
Aulis, and, as it were, drives a nail into the very head of the
expedition; so that, till better weather, it was impossible to go and
lay siege to Priam's town.  Wind and weather, therefore, make up the
interest of this tragedy.  My good wishes are with the Greeks; my
whole faculties are wrapped up in the success of their design; the
sailing of their fleet is with me the only hinge of the fable, and I
look at the danger of Iphigenia with somewhat of a self-interested
complacency, because by her death the winding up of the story into a
brisk and favorable gale was likely to be accelerated.

As soon as Villégas had finished his criticism, the laugh burst out
more than ever at his expense.  Nunez was sly enough to side with
him, that a fairer scope and broader mark might be presented to the
shafts of malicious wit which were let fly from all the quarters in
the shipman's card at this poster of the sea and land.  But the
bachelor, eying them all with sublime indifference and supreme
contempt, gave them to understand how low in the list of the ignorant
and vulgar they ranked in his estimation.  Every moment did I expect
to see these vaporing spirits kindle into a blaze, and wage war
against the hairy honors of each other's brainless skulls; but the
joke was not carried to that length: they confined their hostilities
to opprobrious epithets, and took their leave when they had eaten and
drunk as much as they could get.

After their departure, I asked Fabricio why he had separated himself
from his treasurer, and whether they had quarrelled.  Quarrelled!
answered he: Heaven defend me from such a misfortune!  I am on better
terms than ever with Signor Don Bertrand, who gave his consent to my
living apart from him: here, therefore, I receive my friends, and
take my pleasure with them unmolested.  You know very well that I am
not of a temper to lay up treasures for those who are to come after
me; and as it happens luckily, I am now in circumstances to give my
little classical entertainments every day.  I am delighted at it, ny
dear Nunez, replied I, and once more wish you joy on the success of
your last tragedy: the great Lope, by his eight hundred dramatic
pieces, never made a quarter of the money which you have got by the
damnation of your "Count de Saldagna."




BOOK THE TWELFTH.



_CHAPTER I._

_GIL BLAS SENT TO TOLEDO BY THE MINISTER.  THE PURPOSE OF HIS JOURNEY
AND ITS SUCCESS._

For nearly a month his excellency had been saying to me every day,
Santillane, the time is approaching when I shall call your choicest
powers of address into action; but the time that was coming never
came.  It is a long lane, however, where there is no turning; and his
excellency at length spoke to me nearly as follows: They say that
there is, in the company of comedians at Toledo, a young actress of
much note for her personal and professional fascinations; it is
affirmed that she dances and sings like all the Muses and Graces put
together, and that the whole theatre rings with applause at her
performance: to these perfections is added matchless and irresistible
beauty.  Such a star should only shine within the circle of a court.
The king has a taste for the stage, for music, and for dancing; nor
must he be debarred from the pleasure of seeing and hearing such a
prodigy.  I have determined on sending you to Toledo, that you may
judge for yourself whether she really is so extraordinary an actress:
on your feeling of her merit my measures shall be taken; for I have
unlimited confidence in your discernment.

I undertook to bring his lordship a good account of this business,
and made my arrangements for setting out with one servant, but not in
the minister's livery, by way of conducting matters more warily; and
that precaution relished well with his excellency.  On my arrival at
Toledo, I had scarcely alighted at the inn, when the landlord, taking
me for some country gentleman, said, Please your honor, you are
probably come to be present at the august ceremony of an Auto da Fé
to-morrow.  I answered in the affirmative, the more completely to
mislead him and keep my own counsel.  You will see, replied he, one
of the prettiest processions you ever saw in your life: there are
said to be more than a hundred prisoners, and ten of them are to be
roasted.

In good truth, next morning, before sunrise, I heard all the bells in
the town peal merrily; and the design of their bob-majors was to
acquaint the people that the pastime was about to begin.  Curious to
see what sort of a recreation it was, I dressed in a hurry, and
posted to the scene of action.  All about that quarter, and along the
streets where the procession was to pass, were scaffolds, on one of
which I purchased a standing.  The Dominicans walked first, preceded
by the banner of the inquisition.  These Christian fathers were
immediately followed by the hapless victims of the holy office
selected for this day's burnt-offering.  These devoted wretches
walked one by one, with their head and feet bare, each of them with a
taper in his hand, and a fiery, not baptismal godfather by his side.
Some had large yellow scapularies, worked with crosses of St. Andrew
in red; others wore sugar-loaf caps of paper, illustrated with flames
and diabolical figures of all sorts by way of emblem.

As I looked narrowly at these objects of religious gaze, with a
compassion in my heart which might have been construed criminal, had
it run over from my eyes, I fancied that the reverend Father Hilary
and his companion brother Ambrose were among those who figured in the
sugar-loaf caps.  They passed too near for me to be deceived.  What
do I see? thought I inwardly.  Heaven, wearied out with the wicked
lives of these two scoundrels, has given them up to the justice of
the inquisition!  My whole frame trembled at the thought, and my
spirits were scarcely equal to support me from fainting.  My
connection with these knaves, the adventure at Xelva, all our pranks
in partnership rushed upon my memory, and I did not know how
sufficiently to thank God for having preserved me from St. Andrew's
crosses and the painted devils on the paper caps.

When the ceremony was over, I returned to the inn with my heart
sickening at the dreadful sight; but painful impressions soon wear
away, and I thought only of my commission and its due accomplishment.
I waited with impatience for play-time, as the moment and scene of my
commencing operations.  On the opening of the doors I repaired to the
theatre, and took my seat next to a knight of Alcantara.  We soon got
into chat.  Sir, said I, the players here have been represented to me
in very favorable terms: may I give credit to general report?  The
company is not contemptible, replied the knight: they have some
first-rate performers; among the rest, the peerless Lucretia, an
actress of fourteen, who will astonish you; and she plays one of her
best parts to-night.

On the drawing up of the curtain, two actresses came on, with every
advantage of dress and stage effect; but neither of them could
possibly be the object of my search.  At length Lucretia made her
appearance at the back scene, and walked forwards amidst a thunder of
applause.  Ah! this is she, indeed! thought I; and a delicate
specimen of loveliness, as I am a sinner!  In her very first speech
she proved herself a child of nature, with energy and conception far
above her years; and the approbation of a provincial audience was
confirmed by my metropolitan judgment.  The knight was happy to find
I liked her, and assured me that if I had heard her sing, my ears
might have rejoiced to the sorrow of my heart.  Her dancing, too, he
represented as not less formidable to the free will of lordly man.  I
inquired what youth, blessed as the immortal gods, had the exquisite
happiness of bringing himself to beggary for so sweet a girl.  She is
under no avowed protection, said he; and scandal has not coupled her
name with private license; but Lucretia must take care of herself,
for she is under the wing of her aunt Estella; and there is not an
actress in the company so warmly fledged for hatching the tender
passions into life.

At the name of Estella, I inquired with some eagerness who she was.
One of our best performers, said my informant.  She does not play
to-night, to our great loss, for her cast is that of abigails, and
she humors them to perfection.  A little too broad, perhaps, but that
is a fault on the right side.  From the features of the description,
there could be no doubt but this must be Laura; that lady so
notorious in these memoirs, whom I left at Grenada.

To make assurance doubly sure, I went behind the scenes after the
play.  There she was, in the green-room, flirting with some men of
fashion, who probably endured the aunt for the sake of the niece; I
came up to pay my devotions; but whim, or perhaps revenge for my
cutting and running from Grenada, determined her to put on the
stranger, and receive my compliments with so discouraging a coldness
as to throw me into some little confusion.  Instead of laughing it
off, I was fool enough to be angry, and withdrew in a choleric
determination to return next day.  Laura shall smart for this! said
I; her niece shall not appear at court; I will tell the minister that
she dances like a she bear, has formed her bravura between the scream
of a pea-hen and the cackle of a goose, acts like a puppet, and
comprehends like an idiot.

Such was my scheme of revenge, but it proved abortive.  Just as I was
going out of town, a foot-boy brought me the following note: "Forget
and forgive, and follow the bearer."  I obeyed, and found Laura at
her dressing-table in very elegant apartments near the theatre.

She rose to welcome me, saying, Signor Gil Blas, you have every
reason to be offended at your reception behind the scenes, which was
out of character between such old friends; but I really was most
abominably disconcerted.  Just as you came up, one of our gentlemen
had brought me some scandalous stories about my niece, whose honor
has always been dearer to me than my own.  On coming to myself, I
immediately sent my servant to find you out, with the intention of
making you amends to-day.  You have done so already, my dear Laura,
said I; let us therefore talk over old times.  You may remember that
I left you in a very ticklish predicament, when conscience and the
fear of punishment drove me so precipitately from Grenada.  How did
you get off with your Portuguese lover?  Easily enough, answered
Laura: do not you know that in those cases men are mere fools, and
acquit us women without even calling for our defence?

I faced the Marquis of Marialva out that you were my very brother,
and drew upon my impudence for the support of my credit.  Do you not
see, said I to my Portuguese dupe, that this is all the contrivance
of jealousy and rage?  My rival, Narcissa, infuriated at my
possession of a heart which she had vainly attempted to gain, has
bribed the candle-snuffer to assert that he has seen me as Arsenia's
waiting-woman at Madrid.  It is an abominable falsehood; the widow of
Don Antonio Coello has always been too high in her notions to be the
hanger-on of a theatrical mistress.  Besides, what completely
disproves the whole allegation is my brother's precipitate retreat:
if he were here, it would be a subject of evidence; but Narcissa must
have devised some stratagem to get him out of the way.

These reasons, continued Laura, were not the most convincing in the
world, but they did very well for the marquis; and that good, easy
nobleman continued his confidence till his return to Portugal.  This
happened soon after your departure; and Zapata's wife had the
pleasure of seeing me lose what she could not win.  After this, I
staid some years longer at Grenada, till the company was broken up in
consequence of some squabbles, which will take place in mimic as well
as in real life: some went to Seville, others to Cordova; and I came
to Toledo, where I have been for these ten years with my niece
Lucretia, whose performance you must have seen last night.

This was too much to be taken gravely.  Laura inquired why I laughed.
Can that be a question? said I.  You have neither brother nor sister,
one or other of which is a necessary ingredient in an aunt.  Besides,
when I calculate in my mind the lapse of time since our last
separation, and compare that period with the age of your niece, it is
more than possible that your relationship maybe in a nearer degree of
kin.

I understand you, replied Don Antonio's widow, with something like a
moral tinge of red in her cheek; you are an accurate chronologist!
There is no garbling facts in defiance of your memory.  Well then!
Lucretia is my daughter by the Marquis of Marialva: it was extremely
wrong, but I cannot conceal it from you.  The confession must indeed
be a shock to your modesty, said I, after telling me yourself what
pranks you played with the hospital steward at Zamora.  I must tell
you moreover that Lucretia is an article of so superior a quality, as
to render you a public benefactor by having thrown her into the
market.  It were to be wished that the stolen embraces of all your
fraternity might be blessed with fruitfulness, if they could secure
to themselves a patent for breeding after your sample.

Should any sarcastic reader, comparing this passage with some
circumstances related while I was the marquis's secretary, suspect me
of being entitled to dispute the honors of paternity with that
nobleman, I blush to say that my claims are entirely out of the
question.

I laid open my principal adventures to Laura in my turn, as well as
the present state of my affairs.  She listened with interest, and
said, Friend Santillane, you seem to play a principal part on the
stage of the world, and I congratulate you most heartily.  Should
Lucretia be engaged at Madrid, I flatter myself she will find a
powerful protector in Signor de Santillane.  Doubt it not, answered
I: your daughter may have her engagement whenever you please: I can
promise you that, without presuming too much on my interest.  I take
you at your word, replied Laura, and would set out to-morrow, were I
not under articles to this company.  An order from court will cut the
knot of any articles, rejoined I; and that I take upon myself: you
shall have it within a week.  It is an act of chivalry to rescue
Lucretia from Toledo: such a pretty little actress belongs to the
royal court, as parcel of the manor.

Lucretia came into the room just as I was talking of her.  The
goddess Hebe herself never looked better in her best days: it was
nature in the bud, exhaling the sweets of her earliest bloom, but
promising a more luxuriant waste of treasure.  She was just up; and
her natural beauty, without the aid of art, communicated the most
rapturous sensations.  Come, niece, said her mother, thank the
gentleman for all his kindness to us: he is an old friend of mine,
who ranks high at court, and undertakes to get us both an engagement
at the theatre royal.  The little girl seemed to be much pleased, and
made me a low courtesy, saying, with an enchanting smile, I most
humbly thank you for your obliging intention; but, by taking me from
a partial audience, are you certain that I shall not be looked down
upon by that of Madrid?  I may but lose by the exchange.  I remember
hearing my aunt say that she has seen players most favorably received
in one town, and hissed off the stage in another: this absolutely
frightens me; beware, therefore, of exposing me to the derision of
the court, and yourself to its reproaches.  Lovely Lucretia, answered
I, we have neither of us anything to fear; I am rather apprehensive,
lest, by the havoc you will make among hearts, you should excite
rivalships and kindle discord among the courtiers.  My niece's fears,
said Laura, are better founded than yours; but I hope they will both
prove vain: however feeble may be Lucretia's charms of person, her
talents as an actress are at least above mediocrity.

We continued the conversation for some time; and I could gather, from
Lucretia's share in it, that she was a girl of superior talents.  On
taking leave, I assured them that they should immediately receive a
summons to Madrid.




_CHAPTER II._

_SANTILLANE MAKES HIS REPORT TO THE MINISTER, WHO COMMISSIONS HIM TO
SEND FOR LUCRETIA.  THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF THAT ACTRESS BEFORE THE
COURT._

On my return, I found my lord duke impatient to be informed of my
success.  Have you seen her? said he: is she worth transplanting?  My
lord, answered I, fame, which generally runs beyond all discretion in
its report of beauty, has erred on the side of parsimony in its
estimate of the matchless young Lucretia; she is all that youthful
poets fancy when they feign, for personal attractions, and all that
veteran managers seek when they sign articles, in scenic
qualifications.

Is it possible? exclaimed the minister with a satisfaction which
involuntarily peeped out at his eyes, and made me think he had some
selfish hankerings after the article of my marketing at Toledo; is it
possible? and is she really so charming a creature?  When you see
her, replied I, you will own that any verbal picture of her
perfections must be altogether inadequate to their due description.
His excellency then requiring a minute account of my journey, I gave
him all the particulars, not excepting Laura's story, and Lucretia's
parentage.  His lordship was delighted at the latter circumstance,
and enjoined me, with a cordial compliment on my skill in such
delicate negotiations, to finish as auspiciously as I had begun my
undertaking.

I went to look for Carnero, and told him that it was his excellency's
pleasure he should make out an order for the admission of Estella and
Lucretia, actresses from the Toledo theatre, into his majesty's
company.  Say you so, Signor de Santillane? answered Carnero with a
sarcastic leer; you shall not be kept long in suspense, since you
take so marked an interest in the fortunes of these two ladies.  He
expedited the order in my presence, and within a week the mother and
daughter sent me notice of their arrival.  I immediately hastened to
their lodging near the theatre, and after an interchange of thanks on
their part, and assurances of continued support on mine, left them
with my best wishes for a brilliant career of success.

Their names were announced in the bills as two new actresses, engaged
by the special mandate of the court.  They made their first
appearance in a play which they had been accustomed to perform in at
Toledo with loud and unanimous applause.

Novelty is the very life and soul of theatrical entertainments.  The
house was uncommonly crowded, and I, of course, was among the
audience.  I was rather frightened before the curtain drew up.
Prejudiced as I was in favor of the candidates, my alarm was in
proportion to my interest.  But when once they were fairly on the
boards, the din of welcome quieted all my apprehensions.  Estella was
considered as a first-rate actress in comic parts, and Lucretia as a
female Roscius in heroines and love-sick damsels.  But the love which
she feigned herself she really kindled in the hearts of the
spectators.  Some admired the beauty of her eyes, others were touched
with the plaintive sweetness of her voice, and all, bowing to the
triumph of youth, vivacity, and elegance, went away in raptures with
her person.

My lord duke, who took an uncommon interest in this theatrical event,
was at the play that evening.  I saw him leave his box at the end of
the piece with evident approbation of our new performers.  Curious to
know whether they equalled his expectations, I followed him home, and
into his closet, saying, Well, my lord, is your excellency well
pleased with little Marialva?  My excellency, answered he with a sly
smile, must be very difficult to be pleased, not to confirm the
public voice: yes, indeed, my good friend, I am enraptured with your
Lucretia, and firmly believe that the king will not see her without
emotion.




_CHAPTER III._

_LUCRETIA'S POPULARITY; HER APPEARANCE BEFORE THE KING; HIS PASSION,
AND ITS CONSEQUENCES._

Great was the noise about the court on this double acquisition to the
theatre; it became the topic of conversation next day at the king's
levee.  The young Lucretia was most in the mouths of the nobility,
who described her so feelingly, that his majesty could not but imbibe
the impression, though he was too polite to express his interest
either in words or by looks.

To make amends for that restraint, he questioned the minister as soon
as he was alone with him, who stated the success of a young actress
from Toledo on the evening before.  Her name, added he, is Lucretia;
and it is really a pity that ladies of her profession should ever
have been christened by any less chaste appellative.  She is an
acquaintance of Santillane, who spoke so highly of her, that I
thought it right to engage her for your majesty's company.  The king
smiled at the mention of my name, recollecting, perhaps, through what
channel he became acquainted with Catalina, and foreboding a like
assistance on the present occasion.  Count, said he to the minister,
I mean to see this Lucretia act to-morrow, and will thank you to let
her know it.

I was, of course, sent with this intelligence to the two actresses.
Great news! said I to Laura, whom I saw first: you will have the
sovereign of the Spanish monarchy among your audience to-morrow, as
the minister has desired me to inform you.  I cannot doubt but you
will both of you do your best to prove yourselves worthy of a royal
command; but I would advise you to choose a piece with music and
dancing, that all Lucretia's accomplishments may be displayed at one
view.  We will take your counsel, answered Laura, and it shall not be
our faults if his majesty is disappointed.  That can scarcely happen,
said I, seeing Lucretia come into the room in an undress, which
showed her person to more advantage than all the wardrobe of the
theatre: he will be the more delighted with your lovely niece,
because dancing and music are his principal pleasures: he may even be
tempted to throw her the handkerchief.  I do not at all wish, replied
Laura, that he should be that way inclined; all-powerful monarch as
he is, he might not find the accomplishment of his desires so easy.
Lucretia, though brought up behind the scenes, is not without
virtuous principles; whatever pleasure she may take in applause and
professional reputation, she had much rather preserve the character
of a good girl than establish that of a great actress.

Aunt, said little Marialva, joining in the conversation, why conjure
up monsters only to lay them again?  I shall never be at a loss to
repel the king's advances, because his taste is too refined to stoop
so low.  But, charming Lucretia, said I, if such a thing should
happen, would you be cruel enough to let him languish like a common
lover?  Why not? answered she.  Setting virtue aside, my vanity would
be more flattered by my own resistance than by the tribute of his
affection.  I was not a little surprised to hear a pupil of Laura's
school talk so properly, and to find that with so free an education
she imbibed such unusual principles of morality.

The king, impatient to see Lucretia, went to the play next evening.
The piece was got up with music and dancing, to show our young
actress off to the best advantage.  My eyes were fixed on his
majesty; but he completely eluded my penetration by an obstinate
gravity.  On the following day, the minister said, Santillane, I have
just been with the king, who has been talking about Lucretia with so
much animation, that I doubt not but he is smitten; and, as I told
him that you had sent for her from Toledo, he expressed a wish to
confer with you in private on the subject: orders are given for your
admittance; run, and bring me back an account of what passes.

I flew to the palace, and found the king alone.  He was walking up
and down, in much apparent perplexity.  He put several questions to
me about Lucretia, made me relate her history, and then asked whether
the little jade had not been tampering with chastity already.  I
boldly assured him to the contrary, though such pledges were somewhat
hazardous in general; but mine was taken, and gave the prince much
pleasure.  If so, replied he, I select you for my agent with
Lucretia; let her become acquainted with her triumph from your lips.
He then put a box of jewels into my hand, worth fifty thousand
crowns, with a message begging her acceptance of them, and promising
more substantial proofs of his affection.

Before I went on this errand, I reported progress to my lord duke.
That minister, I thought, would be more vexed than rejoiced at it;
supposing that he had his own views of gallantry towards Lucretia,
and would learn with regret the rivalship of his master; but I was
mistaken.  Far from appearing chagrined, his joy was so excessive
that it would ooze out at his tongue in words which were not quite
lost on the hearer.  "Indeed, friend Philip! then I have you in my
clutches: while your pleasures lead you, your business must be left
to me!"  This side speech explained to me the plot--an amorous
prince, and a long-headed minister!  My orders were to execute my
commission as speedily as possible, with the assurance that the first
lord in the land would be proud to stand in my shoes.  Besides, there
was no pimp of rank, as in the former case, to seize the profit and
leave the infamy with me; the honor and emolument were now
exclusively my own.

Thus did his excellency relish the ingredients of panderism to my
palate; and I tasted them with the greediness, but not without the
qualms, of an epicure; for since my imprisonment I had become
regenerate, and did not take pride in dirty work, because my employer
washed his hands in perfumed water.  But though conscience was awake,
interest was not asleep.  I was no longer a villain for the fun of
it; but my compliance would confirm my footing with the minister, and
him it was my duty, at all events, to please.

My first appeal was to Laura in private.  I opened the negotiation
delicately, and presented my credentials in the form of the
jewel-box.  The lady was thrown off her guard by the display.  Signor
Gil Blas, cried she, you are one of my oldest friends, and I must not
play the hypocrite: straitlaced morals are inconsistent with the
discipline of my sect.  Nothing can be more delightful to me than a
conquest, which throws such a game into our hands.  But, between
ourselves, I am afraid Lucretia is not so enlightened as we are;
though a daughter of Thalia, she has taken the better-behaved
goddesses for her schoolmistresses, and given a rebuff to two young
noblemen of amiable manners and large fortunes.  They were not kings,
you will say; and truly we may hope that Lucretia's virtue will be
too undisciplined to stand a royal siege; but you must remember the
event is hazardous, and I shall not interpose my authority to compel
her.  If, far from thinking herself honored by the fleeting passion
of the king, she should revolt from his advances with disdain, let
not our illustrious sovereign be offended at her reserve.  But do you
come back hither to-morrow, and carry back either the jewels or a
return of affection.

I had no doubt but Laura would tutor Lucretia in the school of
time-serving morality, and depended much on her instruction.  It was
therefore no small surprise to find that Laura worked as much against
wind and tide to launch her daughter into the tradewind of evil, as
other maternal pilots to set the sails of theirs in the contrary
monsoon of good; and what is still more unaccountable, Lucretia,
after tasting of royal delights, was so completely surfeited with the
banquet as to throw herself at once into the arms of the church,
where she professed, fell sick, and died of grief.  Laura,
disconsolate for the loss of her daughter, and the part she herself
had acted in the tragedy, retired into a convent of female penitents,
and did penance for the unhallowed pleasures of her former life.  The
king was affected by his sudden loss, but soon found comfort in some
other pursuit.  The premier talked little on the subject, but thought
so much the more, as the reader will easily believe.




_CHAPTER IV._

_SANTILLANE IN A NEW OFFICE._

My feelings were all alive to Lucretia's ill fate, and my own infamy
in having contributed to it.  The royal wants of the lover were no
excuse for my taking the post of cheapener, and I determined to
resign the staff of office in that department, entreating the
minister to employ me in some other.  He was charmed with my nice
sense of honor, and promised to comply with my scruples, laying open
his inmost heart in the following speech:--

Some years before I was in office, chance threw me across a lady of
such shape and beauty as induced me to trace her home.  I learned
that she was a Genoese, by name Donna Margarita Spinola, supporting
herself at Madrid on the income arising from her beauty.  It was
reported that Don Francisco de Valéasar, an officer about the court,
a rich man, an old man, and a married man, laid out his money very
freely on this hazardous speculation.  These rumors ought to have
deterred me; but they only whetted my desires to share with Valéasar.
To gain my end, I had recourse to a female broker of tenderness, who
adjusted the terms of a private interview with the Genoese; and the
price current being settled, the traffic was frequently repeated; it
was an open market for my rival and me, or possibly for many other
bidders.

Let that be as it may, a choice boy was in the fulness of time
produced to the club, and the mother complimented every member
individually in private with the credit: but we were each of us too
modest to acknowledge a bantling which had so probable a claim upon a
better father; so that the Genoese was compelled to maintain him on
the profits of her profession: this she did for eighteen years, and
dying at the end of that period, has left her son without a farthing,
and, what is worse, without an idea or an accomplishment.

Such, continued his lordship, is the confidence I meant to repose in
you, and I shall now lay open the great design I have formed to draw
this unfortunate child from his obscurity, reverse the color of his
fate, raise him to the highest honors, and acknowledge him as my son.

At so extravagant a project it was impossible not to be open-mouthed.
What, sir, exclaimed I, can your excellency have adopted so strange a
resolution?  Excuse my freedom; but my zeal cannot restrain itself.
You will be of my mind, replied he with eagerness, when I shall have
explained to you my motives.  I have no mind that my estates should
descend in the collateral line.  You will tell me, that I am not so
old as to despair of having children by Madame d'Olivarez.  But every
one is best judge of his own condition: know therefore that there is
not a receipt in the whole extent of chemistry which I have not
tried, but without effect, to appear once again in the character of a
father.  Wherefore, since fortune, stepping in to cover the defects
of nature, presents me with a child whose parent after all I may
actually be, he is mine by adoption; that is a settled point.

When I found the minister determined, I no longer argued against his
resolution, as knowing him to be a man who would rather do a foolish
act of his own than adopt a wise suggestion of another.  It only
remains now, added he, to educate Don Henry Philip de Guzman; for by
that name I intend him to be known in the world, till the time
arrives when he may aspire to higher dignities.  You, my dear
Santillane, I have chosen to superintend his conduct: I have full
confidence in your talents and friendship, to regulate his household,
direct his studies, and make him an accomplished gentleman.  I would
willingly have declined the office, as never having exercised the
craft of a pedagogue, which required much more genius and solidity
than mine; but he shut my mouth by saying it was his absolute
determination that I should be tutor to this adopted son, whom he
designed for the first offices of the monarchy.  As a bribe for my
compliance, his lordship increased my little income with a pension of
a thousand crowns on the commandery of Mambra.




_CHAPTER V._

_THE SON OF THE GENOESE IS ACKNOWLEDGED BY A LEGAL INSTRUMENT, AND
NAMED DON HENRY PHILIP DE GUZMAN-SANTILLANE ESTABLISHES HIS
HOUSEHOLD, AND ARRANGES THE COURSE OF HIS STUDIES._

The act of adoption was soon legalized with the king's consent and
good pleasure.  Don Henry Philip de Guzman, as this descendant from a
committee of fathers was named, became acknowledged successor to the
earldom of Olivarez and the duchy of San Lucar.  The minister, to
give the act all possible publicity, communicated it through Carnero
to the ambassadors and grandees of Spain, who were somewhat startled.
The jokers of Madrid were not insensible to the ridicule, and the
satirical poets made their harvest of so fine a subject for their pen.

I asked my lord duke where my pupil was.  Here in town, answered he,
with an aunt from whom I shall remove him as soon as you have got a
house ready.  This I did immediately, and furnished it magnificently.
When my establishment was complete in servants and officers, his
excellency sent for this equivocal production, this spurious offset
from the renowned stock of the Guzmans.  The lad was tall and
personable.  Don Henry, said his lordship, pointing to me, this
gentleman is to be your tutor, and introduce you into the world; he
has my entire confidence, and an unlimited authority over you.  After
much good advice, and many compliments to me, the minister retired,
and I took Don Henry home.

As soon as we got thither, I introduced him to his household, and
explained the nature of each individual's employment.  He did not
seem at all disconcerted at the change of circumstances, but received
the obeisances of his dependants as if he had been a lord by nature,
and not by chance.  He was not without mother-wit, but ignorant in a
deplorable degree; he could scarcely read and write.  I gave him
masters for the Latin grammar, geography, history, and fencing.  A
dancing-master of course was not forgotten; but in an affair of the
first consequence, selection was difficult, for there were more
eminent professors of that art in Madrid than of all the languages
and sciences put together.

While I was pondering on this difficulty, a man gaudily dressed came
into the court-yard and inquired for me.  I went down, supposing him
to be at least a knight of some military or privileged order.  Signor
de Santillane, said he, with a profusion of bows which anticipated
his line in life, I am come to offer you my services as Don Henry's
governor.  My name is Martin Ligero, and I have, thank heaven, some
reputation in the world.  I have no occasion to canvass for scholars;
that is all very well for petty dancing-masters!  My custom is to
wait till I am sent for; but being a sort of appendage to the house
of Guzman, and having taught its various branches for a long period,
I thought it a point of respect to wait on you first.  I perceive,
answered I, that you are just the man we want.  What are your terms?
Four double pistoles a month, answered he, and I give but two lessons
a week.  Four doubloons a month! cried I; that is an exorbitant
price.  Exorbitant! rejoined he with astonishment; why, it is not
more than eight times as much as you would give to a mathematical
master or a Greek professor.

There was no resisting so ludicrous a comparison of merit; I laughed
outright, and asked Signor Ligero whether he really thought his
talents worth more than those of the first proficients in learning
and science.  Most assuredly, said he; at least, if you measure our
pretensions by their respective utility.  What sort of machines may
those be which are fashioned under their hands?  Jointless puppets,
unlicked cubs, open-mouthed and impenetrable shellfish; but our
lessons supple and render pliant the intractable stiffness of their
component parts, and bring them insensibly into shape: in short, we
communicate to them a graceful motion, a polite address, the carriage
of good company, and the outward marks of elevated rank.

I could not but give way to such cogent arguments in favor of the
dancing-master's occupation, and engaged him about Don Henry's
person, without haggling as to terms, since those specified were only
at the rate established by the leading professors of the art.




_CHAPTER VI._

_SCIPIO'S RETURN FROM NEW SPAIN.  GIL BLAS PLACES HIM ABOUT DON
HENRY'S PERSON.  THAT YOUNG NOBLEMAN'S COURSE OF STUDY.  HIS CAREER
OF HONOR, AND HIS FATHER'S MATRIMONIAL SPECULATION ON HIS BEHALF.  A
PATENT OF NOBILITY CONFERRED ON GIL BLAS AGAINST HIS WILL._

I had not yet half arranged Don Henry's household, when Scipio
returned from Mexico.  He brought with him three thousand ducats in
cash, and merchandise to double the amount.  I wish you joy, said I;
the foundation of your fortune is laid; and if you prefer a snug
berth at Madrid to the risk of going back, you have only to tell me
so.  There is no question about that, said the son of Cosclina: a
genteel situation at home is far preferable to a second voyage.

After relating the birth and adventures of the little adopted Guzman,
and my own appointment as tutor, I offered him the situation of upper
servant to this babe of chance: Scipio, who could have devised
nothing better for himself, readily accepted the office, and within
the small space of three or four days got the length of his new
master's foot.

I had taken it for granted that the verb-grinders and
concord-manufacturers to whom I had given the plant of this Genoese
bastard would lose stock and block, under the idea that he was of an
intractable and profitless age; but my forebodings were completely
reversed.  He not only comprehended, but easily retained the lessons
of his masters, and they were very well satisfied with him.  I was in
an enormous hurry to greet the ears of my lord duke with this
intelligence, and he received it with abundant joy.  Santillane,
exclaimed he with delight, you give me new life by the assurance of
Don Henry's capacity and application: it runs in the blood of the
Guzmans; and I am the more confirmed in his being unquestionably my
own, because I am just as fond of him as if Madame d'Olivarez herself
had lain in of the brat in due form under this very roof.  The voice
of nature, you perceive, will make itself heard.  I thought it
unnecessary to give his lordship any opinion on that subject; but
with a delicate deference to his credulity, left him to enjoy his
fancied paternity in peace, whether well or ill founded.

Though all the Guzmans held this clod of newly turned up nobility in
utter scorn, they were politic enough to smooth over the corrugations
of their contempt; nay, some of them even affected to languish for
his good opinion; the ambassadors and principal nobility then at
Madrid waited on him with all the ceremony appertaining to the rank
of a legitimate son.  The minister, intoxicated with the fumes of
incense offered to his idol, began to build a temple worthy of the
worship.  The cross of Alcantara was the foundation, with a
commandery of ten thousand crowns.  The next step was to a high
office in the royal household, and the completion of the whole was
matrimony.  Wishing to connect him with a family of the first rank,
he picked out Donna Johanna de Velasco, daughter to the Duke of
Castile, and had influence enough to accomplish the alliance, though
against the will of the duke and of all his kindred.

Some days before the nuptial ceremony, his lordship put some papers
into my hand, saying, Here, Gil Blas, is a patent of nobility which I
have procured as the reward of your services.  My lord, answered I,
in much astonishment, your excellency knows very well that I am the
son of an usher and a duenna: it would be caricaturing the peerage to
confer it on me; and besides, of all the boons in his majesty's power
to bestow, it is that which I deserve and desire the least.  Your
birth, replied the minister, is a slight objection.  You have been
employed on affairs of state under the Duke of Lerma's administration
and under mine: besides, added he with a smile, have you not rendered
some things to Cæsar which Cæsar is bound, on the honor of a prince,
to render back in another shape?  To deal candidly, Santillane, you
will make just as good a lord as the best of them; nay, more than
that, your high office about my son is incompatible with plebeian
rank, and therefore have I procured you to be created.  Since your
excellency will have it so, replied I, there is no more to be said.
So, saying no more, I put my new-blown honors in my pocket, and
walked off.

[Illustration: Gil Blas receiving patent of nobiity]

Now can I make any Joan a lady! said I to myself when I had got into
the street: but it was not the handiwork of my parents that made me a
gentleman.  I may add a foot of honor to my name whenever I please;
and if any of my acquaintance should snuff or snigger when they call
me Don, I may suck my teeth, lean upon my elbow, and draw out my
credentials of heraldry.  But let us see what they contain, and how
the corporeal particles, which have accrued during my artificial
contact with the court, are distinguished by genealogical metaphysics
from the native clay of my original extraction.  The instrument ran
thus in substance: That the king, in acknowledgment of my zeal in
more than one instance for his service and the good of the state, had
been graciously pleased to confer this mark of distinction on me.  I
may safely say that the recollection of the act for which I was
promoted effectually kept down my pride.  Neither did the bashfulness
of low birth ever forsake me, so that nobility to me was like a hair
shirt to a penitent: I determined therefore to lock up the evidences
of my shame in a private drawer, instead of blazoning them to dazzle
the eyes of the foolish and corrupt.




_CHAPTER VII._

_AN ACCIDENTAL MEETING BETWEEN GIL BLAS AND FABRICIO.  THEIR LAST
CONVERSATION TOGETHER, AND A WORD TO THE WISE FROM NUNEZ._

The poet of the Asturias, as the reader, if he thought of him, may
have remarked, was very negligent in his intercourse with me.  It was
not to be expected that my employments would leave me time to go and
look after him.  I had not seen him since the critical discussion
touching the Iphigenia of Euripides, when chance threw me across him,
as he came out of a printing-house.  I accosted him, saying, So! so!
Master Nunez, you have got among the printers: this looks as if we
were threatened with some new production.

You may indeed prepare yourselves for such an event, answered he: I
have a pamphlet just ready for publication which is likely to make
some noise in the literary world.  There can be no question about its
merit, replied I; but I cannot conceive why you waste your time in
writing pamphlets: it should seem as if such squibs and rockets were
scarcely worth the powder expended in their manufacture.  It is very
true, rejoined Fabricio: and I am well aware that none but the most
vulgar gazers are caught by such holiday fireworks; however, this
single one has escaped me, and I must own that it is a child of
necessity.  Hunger, as you know, will bring the wolf out of the
forest.

What! exclaimed I, is it the author of the "Count of Saldagna" who
holds this language?  A man with an annuity of two thousand crowns?
Gently, my friend, interrupted Nunez: I am no longer a pensioned
poet.  The affairs of the treasurer Don Bertrand are all at sixes and
sevens: he has been at the gaming table, and played with the public
money: an extent has issued, and my rent-charge is gone posthaste to
the devil.  That is a sad affair, said I; but may not matters come
round again in that quarter?  No chance of it, answered he: Signor
Gomez del Ribero, in plight as destitute as that of his poor bard, is
sunk forever; nor can he, as they say, by any possible contrivance be
set afloat again.

In that case, my good friend, replied I, we must look out for some
post which may make you amends for the loss of your annuity.  I will
ease your conscience on that score, said he: though you should offer
me the wealth of the Indies as a salary in one of your offices, I
would reject the boon: clerkships are no object to a partner in the
firm of the Muses; a literary berth or absolute starvation for your
humble servant!  If you must have it plump, I was born to live and
die a poet, and the man whose destiny is hanging will never be
drowned.

But do not suppose, continued he, that we are altogether forlorn and
destitute: besides that we accommodate the requisites of independence
to our finances, we do not look far beyond our noses in calculating
the average of our fortunes.  It is insinuated that we often dine
with the most abstemious orders of the religious; but our sanctity in
this particular is too credulously imputed.  There is not one of my
brother wits, without excepting the calculators of almanacs, who has
not a plate laid for him at some substantial table: for my own part,
I have the run of two good houses.  To the master of one I have
dedicated a romance; and he is the first commissioner of taxes who
was ever associated with the Muses: the other is a rich tradesman in
Madrid, whose lust is to get wits about him; he is not nice in his
choice, and this town furnishes abundance to those who value wit more
by quantity than quality.

Then I no longer feel for you, said I to the poet of the Asturias,
since you are satisfied in your condition.  But be that as it may, I
assure you once more, that you have a friend in Gil Blas, however you
may slight him: if you want my purse, come and take it: it will not
fail you at a pinch; and you must not stand between me and my sincere
friendship.

By that burst of sentiment, exclaimed Nunez, I know and thank my
friend Santillane: in return, let me give you a salutary caution.
While my lord duke is in his meridian, and you are all in all with
him, reap, bind, and gather in your harvest: when the sun sets, the
gleaners are sent home.  I asked Fabricio whether his suspicions were
surely founded, and he returned me this answer: My information comes
from an old knight of Calatrava, who pokes his nose into secrets of
all sorts; his authority passes current at Madrid, much as that of
the Pythian news-mongers did through Greece; and thus his oracle was
pronounced in my hearing: My lord duke has a host of enemies in
battle array against him; he reckons too securely upon his influence
with the king; for his majesty, as the report goes, begins to take in
hostile representations with patience.  I thanked Nunez for his
friendly warning, but without much faith in his prediction: my
master's authority seemed rooted in the court, like the
tempest-scoffing firmness of an oak in the native soil of the forest.




_CHAPTER VIII._

_GIL BLAS FINDS THAT FABRICIO'S HINT WAS NOT WITHOUT FOUNDATION.  THE
KING'S JOURNEY TO SARAGOSSA._

The poet of the Asturias was no bad politician.  There was a court
plot against the duke, with the queen at the bottom; but their plans
were too deeply laid to bubble at the surface.  During the space of a
whole year, my simplicity was insensible to the brewing of the
tempest.

The revolt of the Catalans, with France at their back, and the ill
success of the war for their suppression, excited the murmurs of the
people, and whetted their tongues against government.  A council was
held in the royal presence, and the Marquis de Grana, the emperor's
ambassador, was specially requested to assist.  The subject in debate
was whether the king should remain in Castile, or go and take the
command of his troops in Arragon.  The minister spoke first, and gave
it as his opinion that his majesty should not quit the seat of
government.  All the members supported his arguments, with the
exception of the Marquis de Grana, whose whole heart was with the
house of Austria, and the sentiments of his soul on the tip of his
tongue, after the homely honesty of his nation.  He argued so
forcibly against the minister, that the king embraced his opinion
from conviction, though contrary to the vote of council, and fixed
the day when he would set out for the army.

This was the first time that ever the sovereign had differed from his
favorite, and the latter considered it as an inexpiable affront.
Just as the minister was withdrawing to his closet, there to bite
upon the bridle, he espied me, called me in, and told me with much
discomposure what had passed in debate: Yes, Santillane, observed he,
the king, who for the last twenty years has spoken only through my
mouth, and seen with my eyes, is now to be wheedled over by Grana;
and that on the score of zeal for the house of Austria, as if that
German had a more Austrian soul in his body than myself.

Hence it is easy to perceive, continued the minister, that there is a
strong party against me, with the queen at the head.  Heaven forbid
it, said I.  Has not the queen for upwards of twelve years been
accustomed to your paramount authority, and have you not taught the
king the knack of not consulting her?  The desire of making a
campaign may for once have enlisted his majesty on the side of the
Marquis de Grana.  Say rather that the king, argued my lord duke,
will be surrounded by his principal officers when in camp; and then
the disaffected will find their opportunity for poisoning him against
my administration.  But they overreach themselves; for I shall
completely insulate the prince from all their approaches; and so he
did, in a manner which, for example, deserves not to be passed over.

The day of the king's departure being arrived, the monarch, leaving
the queen regent, proceeded for Saragossa by way of Aranjuez; a
delightful residence, where he whiled away three weeks.  Cuença was
the next stage, where the minister detained him still longer by a
succession of amusements.  A hunting party was contrived at Molina in
Arragon, and hence there was no choice of road but to Saragossa.  The
army was near at hand, and the king was preparing to review it: but
his keeper sickened him of the project, by making him believe that he
would be taken by the French, who were in force in the neighborhood,
so that he was cowed by a groundless apprehension, and consented to
be a prisoner in his own court.  The minister, from an affectionate
regard to his safety, secluded him from all approach; so that the
principal nobility, who had equipped themselves at enormous charges
to be about his person, could not even procure an occasional
audience.  Philip, weary of bad lodgings and worse recreation at
Saragossa, and perhaps feeling himself scarcely his own master, soon
returned to Madrid.  Thus ended the royal campaign, and the care of
maintaining the honor of the Spanish colors was left to the Marquis
de los Velez, commander-in-chief.




_CHAPTER IX._

_THE REVOLUTION OF PORTUGAL, AND DISGRACE OF THE PRIME MINISTER._

A few days after the king's return, an alarming report prevailed at
Madrid, that the Portuguese, considering the Catalan revolt as an
opportunity offered them by fortune for throwing off the Spanish
yoke, had taken arms, and chosen the Duke of Braganza for their king,
with a full determination of supporting him on the throne.  In this
they conceived that they did not reckon without their host, because
Spain was then embroiled in Germany, Italy, Flanders, and Catalonia.
They could not, in fact, have hit upon a crisis more favorable for
their deliverance from so galling a yoke.

It was a strange circumstance, that while both court and city were
struck with consternation at the news, my lord duke attempted to joke
with the king, and make the Duke of Braganza his butt: Philip,
however, far from falling in with this ill-timed pleasantry, assumed
a serious air, of ill omen to the minister, who felt his seat to
totter under him.  The queen was now his declared enemy, and openly
accused him of having caused the revolt of Portugal by his
misconduct.  The nobility in general, and especially those who had
been at Saragossa, when they saw a cloud gathering about the
minister, joined the queen's party:[*] but the decisive blow was the
return of the duchess dowager of Mantua from her government of
Portugal to Madrid, for she proved clearly to the king's conviction
that the counsels of his own cabinet produced the revolution.


[*] At length his sovereign frowns--the train of state
    Mark the keen glance, and watch the sign to hate.
          _Johnson's Imitation of Juvenal's Tenth Satire._


His Majesty, deeply impressed with what he had heard, was now
completely recovered from every symptom of partiality towards his
favorite.  The minister, finding that his enemies were in possession
of the royal ear, wrote for permission to resign his employments, and
retire from court, since all the political mischances of the time
were ascribed to his personal delinquency.  He expected a letter like
this to produce a wonderful effect, reckoning as he did upon the
prince's private friendship, which could scarcely brook a separation:
but his majesty's answer undeceived him, by laconically complying
with his ostensible wish to withdraw.

Such a sentence of banishment in the king's own handwriting came like
a thunder-storm in harvest; but though destruction to his
long-cherished hopes, he affected the serene look of constancy, and
asked me what I would do in his circumstances.  I would drive before
the wind, said I; renounce the ungrateful court, and pass the
remainder of my days in peace on my own estate.  You counsel wisely,
replied my master, and I shall set out for Loeches, there to finish
my career, after one more interview with his majesty, for I could
wish just to convince him that I have done what man can do to support
the heavy load of state upon my shoulders, and that it was not within
the compass of possibility to prevent the unfortunate events which
are imputed to me as a crime.  It were equally reasonable to charge
the pilot with the wrecking fury of the storm, and make him
answerable for the uncontrolled power of the elements.  Thus did the
minister inwardly flatter himself that he could set things to rights
again, and once more fix firm the seat which was shaking under him;
but he could not procure an audience, and was even commanded to
resign his key of private admission into his majesty's closet.

This last requisition convinced him that there was no hope, and he
now made up his mind in earnest for retirement.  He looked over his
papers, and had the prudence to burn a good number; he then selected
a small household for his retreat, and publicly announced his
departure for the next day.  Apprehending insult from the mob, if the
time and manner of his setting out were public, he escaped early in
the morning through the kitchens out at the back door, got into a
shabby, hired carriage, with his confessor and me, and reached in
safety the road leading to Loeches, a village on his own estate,
where his countess had founded a magnificent convent of Dominican
nuns.




_CHAPTER X._

_A DIFFICULT, BUT SUCCESSFUL WEANING FROM THE WORLD.  THE MINISTER'S
EMPLOYMENTS IN HIS RETREAT._

Madame d'Olivarez staid behind her husband some few days, with the
intention of trying what her tears and entreaties might do towards
his recall; but in vain did she prostrate herself before their
majesties; the king paid not the least attention to her pleadings and
remonstrances, though artfully adapted for effect; and the queen, who
hated her mortally, took a savage pleasure in her tears.  The
minister's lady, however, was not easily discouraged: she stooped so
low as to solicit their good offices from the ladies of the
bed-chamber; but the fruit of all this meanness was only the sad
conviction that it excited more contempt than pity.  Heart-broken at
having degraded herself by supplications so humiliating, and yet so
unavailing, she departed to her husband, and mourned with him the
loss of a situation, which, under a reign like that of Philip the
Fourth, was little short of sovereign power.

The accounts her ladyship brought from Madrid were wormwood to the
duke.  Your enemies, said she, sobbing, with the Duke of Medina Celi
at their head, are loud in the king's praises for your removal; and
the people triumph in your disgrace with an insolent joy, as if the
cloud of adversity were to be dispelled by the breath which dissolved
your administration.  Madam, said my master, follow my example;
suppress your discontent; we must drive before the storm when we
cannot weather it.  I did think, indeed, that my favor would only be
eclipsed with the lamp of life--a common illusion of ministers and
favorites, who forget that they breathe but at the good pleasure of
their sovereign.  Was not the Duke of Lerma as much mistaken as
myself, though fondly relying on his purple, as a pledge for the
lasting tenure of his authority?

Thus did my lord duke preach patience to the partner of his cares,
while his own bosom heaved under the direct pressure of anxiety.  The
frequent despatches from Don Henry, who was staying about the court
to pick up information, kept him continually on the fret.  Scipio was
the messenger; for he was still about the person of that young
nobleman, though I had relinquished my post on his marriage.
Sometimes we heard of changes in the inferior departments of office,
solely for the purpose of wreaking vengeance on his creatures, and
filling up the vacancies with his enemies.  Then Don Lewis de Haro
was represented as advancing in favor, and likely to be made prime
minister.  But the most mortifying circumstance of all was the change
in the viceroyalty of Naples, which was taken from his friend, the
Duke de Medina de las Torres, and bestowed on the High Admiral of
Castile, who was his bitterest enemy.  For this there was no other
motive but the pleasure of giving pain to a fallen favorite.

For the first three months, his lordship gave himself up in his
solitude a prey to disappointment and regret; but his confessor, a
holy and pious Dominican, supporting his religious zeal with manly
eloquence, succeeded in pouring the balm of consolation into his
soul.  By continually representing to him, with apostolic energy,
that his eternal salvation was now the only object worth his care, he
weaned him gradually from the uses of this world.  His excellency was
no longer panting for news from Madrid, but learning a new and
important lesson, how to die.  Madame d'Olivarez too, making a virtue
of necessity, sought refuge for herself in the maternal guardianship
of her convent, where Providence had reared up, for her edification
in faith and good works, a sisterhood of holy maidens, whose
spiritual discourses fed her soul, as if with manna in the
wilderness.  My master's peace within his own bosom advanced, as he
withdrew more backward from sublunary things.  The employment of his
day was thus laid out: almost the whole morning was devoted to
religious duties till dinner-time, and after dinner, for about two
hours, he played at different games with me and some of his
confidential domestics; he then generally retired alone into his
closet till sunset, when he walked round his garden, or rode out into
the neighborhood either with his confessor or me.

One day when I was alone with him, and was particularly struck with
his apparent self-complacency, I took the liberty of congratulating
his lordship on his complete reconciliation to retirement.  Use,
however late acquired, is second nature, answered he; for though I
have all my life been accustomed to the bustle of business, I assure
you that I become every day more and more attached to this calm and
peaceful mode of life.




_CHAPTER XI._

_A CHANGE IN HIS LORDSHIP FOR THE WORSE.  THE MARVELLOUS CAUSE, AND
MELANCHOLY CONSEQUENCES, OF HIS DEJECTION._

His excellency sometimes amused himself with gardening, by way of
variety.  One day, as I was watching his progress, he said, jokingly,
You see, Santillane, a fallen minister can turn gardener at last.
Nature will prevail, my lord, answered I.  You plant and water
something useful at Loeches, while Dionysius of Syracuse whipped
school-boys at Corinth.  My master was not displeased either with the
comparison or the compliment.

We were all delighted at the castle to see our protector, rising
above the cloud of adversity, take pleasure in so novel a mode of
life: but we soon perceived an alarming change.  He became gloomy,
thoughtful, and melancholy.  Our parties at play were all given up,
and no efforts could succeed to divert his mind.  From dinner-time
till evening he never left his closet.  We thought the dreams of
vanished greatness had returned to break his rest; and in this
opinion the reverend Dominican gave the rein to his eloquence; but it
could not outstrip the course of that hypochondriac malady, which
triumphed over all opposition.

It seemed to me there was some deeper cause, which it behooved a
sincere friend to fathom.  Taking advantage of our being alone
together, My lord, said I, in a tone of mingled respect and
affection, whence is it that you are no longer so cheerful as
heretofore?  Has your philosophy lost ground? or has the world
recovered its allurements?  Surely you would not plunge again into
that gulf where your virtue must inevitably be shipwrecked!  No,
heaven be praised! replied the minister: my part at court has long
faded from my memory, and its trappings from my eyes.  Indeed! why,
then, resumed I, since you have strength enough to banish false
regrets, are you so weak as to indulge a melancholy which alarms us
all?  What is the matter with you, my dear master? continued I,
falling at his knees: some secret sorrow preys upon you: can you hide
it from Santillane, whose zeal, discretion, and fidelity you have so
often experienced?  Why am I so unhappy as to have lost your
confidence?

You still possess it, said his lordship: but I must own, it is
reluctantly that I shall reveal the subject of my distress; yet the
importunities of such a friend are irresistible.  To no one else
could I impart so singular a confidence.  Yes, I am the prey of a
morbid melancholy which eats inwardly into my vitals: a spectre
haunts me every moment, arrayed in the most terrific form of
preternatural horror.  In vain have I argued with myself that it is a
vision of the brain, an unreal mockery: its continual presentments
blast my sight, and unseat my reason.  Though my understanding
teaches me, that in looking on this spectre I stare at vacancy, my
spirits are too weak to derive comfort from the conviction.  Thus
much have you extorted from me; now judge whether the cause of my
melancholy is fit to be divulged.

With equal grief and astonishment did I listen to the strange
confession, which implied a total derangement of the nervous system.
This, my lord, said I, must proceed from injudicious abstinence.  So
I thought at first, answered he; and to try the experiment, I have
been eating more than usual for some days past; but it is all to no
purpose; the phantom takes his stand as usual.  It will vanish, said
I, if your excellency will only divert your mind by your accustomed
relaxations with your household.  Company and gentle occupation are
the best remedies for these affections of the spirits.

In a short time after this conversation, his lordship became
seriously indisposed, and sent for two notaries from Madrid, to make
his will.  Three capital physicians followed in their track, who had
the reputation of curing their patients now and then.  As soon as it
was noised about the castle that these last undertakers were arrived,
the case was given up for lost; weeping and gnashing of teeth took
place universally, and the family mourning was ordered.  They brought
with them their usual understrappers, an apothecary and a surgeon.[*]
The notaries were suffered to earn their fee first, after which,
death's notaries prepared to take a bond of the patient.  They
practised in the school of Sangrado, and from their very first
consultation, ordered bleeding so frequently and freely, that in six
days they brought his lordship to the point of death, and on the
seventh delivered him from the terror of his sprite.


[*]                  Behind him sneaks
  Another mortal, not unlike himself,
  Of jargon full, with terms obscure o'ercharged,
  Apothecary called, whose fetid hands
  With power mechanic, and with charms arcane,
  Apollo, god of medicine, has endued.
                                      BRAMSTON.


After the minister's decease, a lively and sincere sorrow reigned in
the castle of Loeches.  The whole household wept bitterly.  Far from
deriving consolation from the certainty of being remembered in his
will, there was not a dependant who would not willingly have saved
his life by the sacrifice of the legacy.  As for me, whom he most
delighted in, attached to him as I was from disinterested friendship,
my grief was more acute than that of the rest.  I question whether
Antonia cost me more tears.




_CHAPTER XII._

_THE PROCEEDINGS AT THE CASTLE OF LOECHES AFTER HIS LORDSHIP'S DEATH,
AND THE COURSE WHICH SANTILLANE ADOPTED._

The minister, according to his last injunctions, was buried without
pomp and without procession in the convent, with a dirge of our
lamentations.  After the funeral, Madame d'Olivarez called us
together to hear the will read, with which the household had good
reason to be satisfied.  Every one had a legacy proportioned to his
claim, and none less than two thousand crowns: mine was the largest,
amounting to ten thousand pistoles, as a mark of his singular regard.
The hospitals were not forgotten, and provision was made for an
annual commemoration in several convents.

Madame d'Olivarez sent all the household to Madrid to receive their
legacies from Don Raymond Caporis, who had orders to pay them; but I
could not be of the party, in consequence of a violent fever from
distress of mind, which confined me to the castle for more than a
week.  During that time, the reverend Dominican paid me all possible
attention.  He had conceived a friendship for me, which was not
confined to my worldly interests, and was anxious to know how I meant
to dispose of myself on my recovery.  I answered that I had not yet
made up my mind upon the subject: there were moments when my feelings
strongly prompted towards a religious vow.  Precious moments!
exclaimed the Dominican, you will do well to profit by them.  I
advise you as a friend to retire to our convent at Madrid, for
example; there to become a pious benefactor by the free gift of your
whole fortune, and to die in the livery of St. Dominic.  Many very
questionable Christians have made amends for a life of sin by so holy
an end.

In the actual disposition of my mind, this advice was not
unpalatable; and I promised to reflect upon it.  But on consulting
Scipio, who came to see me immediately after the monk, he treated the
very notion as the phantom of a distempered brain.  For shame! said
he; does not your estate at Lirias offer a more eligible seclusion?
If you were delighted with it formerly, the charm will be increased
tenfold, now that the lapse of years has moderated your sense of
pleasure, and softened down your taste to the simple beauties of
nature.

It was no difficult matter to operate a change in my inclinations.
My friend, said I, you carry it decidedly against the advocate of St.
Dominic.  We will go back to Lirias as soon as I am well enough to
travel.  This happened shortly; for as the fever subsided, I soon
felt myself sufficiently strong to put my design in execution.  We
went first to Madrid.  The sight of that city gave me far other
sensations than heretofore.  As I knew that almost its whole
population held in horror the memory of a minister of whom I
cherished the most affectionate remembrance, I could not feel at my
ease within its precincts.  My stay was therefore limited to five or
six days, while Scipio was making the necessary arrangements for our
rustication.  In the mean time, I waited on Caporis, and received my
legacy in ready money.  I likewise made my arrangements with the
receivers for the regular remittance of my pensions, and settled all
my affairs in due order.

The evening before our departure, I asked the son of Cosclina whether
he had received his farewell from Don Henry.  Yes, answered he; we
took leave of each other this morning with mutual civility: he went
so far as to express his regret that I should quit him; but however
well satisfied he might be with me, I am by no means so with him.
Mutual content is like a river, which must have its banks on either
side.  Besides, Don Henry makes but a pitiful figure at court now; he
has fallen into utter contempt; people point at him with their finger
in the streets, and call him a Genoese bastard.  Judge, then, for
yourself, whether it is consistent with my character to keep up the
connection.

We left Madrid one morning at sunrise, and went for Cuença.  The
following was the order of our equipment: we two in a chaise and
pair, three mules, laden with baggage and money, led by two grooms
and two stout footmen, well armed, in the rear; the grooms wore
sabres, and the postilion had a pair of pistols in his holsters.  As
we were seven men in all, and six of us determined fellows, I took
the road gayly, without trembling for my legacy.  In the villages
through which we passed our mules chimed their bells merrily, and the
peasants ran to their doors to see us pass, supposing it to be at
least the parade of some nobleman going to take possession of some
viceroyalty.




_CHAPTER XIII._

_THE RETURN OF GIL BLAS TO HIS SEAT.  HIS JOY AT FINDING HIS
GODDAUGHTER SERAPHINA MARRIAGEABLE; AND HIS OWN SECOND VENTURE IN THE
LOTTERY OF LOVE._

We were a fortnight on our journey to Lirias, having no occasion to
make rapid stages.  The sight of my own domain brought melancholy
thoughts into my mind, with the image of my lost Antonia; but better
topics of reflection came to my aid, with a full purpose to look at
things on the brighter side, and the lapse of two-and-twenty years,
which had gradually impaired the force of tender regret.

As soon as I entered the castle, Beatrice and her daughter greeted me
most cordially, while the family scene was interesting in the
extreme.  When their mutual transports were over, I looked earnestly
at my goddaughter, saying, Can this be the Seraphina whom I left in
her cradle?  How tall and pretty!  We must make a good match for her.
What!  my dear godfather, cried my little girl, with an enchanting
blush, you have but just seen me, and do you want to get rid of me at
once?  No, my lovely child, replied I, we hope not to lose you by
marriage, but to find a husband for you in the neighborhood.

There is one ready to your hands, said Beatrice.  Seraphina made a
conquest one day at mass.  Her suitor has declared his passion, and
asked my consent.  I told him that his acceptance depended on her
father and her godfather; and here you are to determine for
yourselves.

What is the character of this village lordling? said Scipio.  Is he
not, like his fellows, the little tyrant of the soil, and insolent to
those who have no pedigree to boast?  The furthest from it in the
world, answered Beatrice; the young man is gentle in his temper and
polished in his manners; handsome withal, and somewhat under thirty.
You paint him in flattering colors, said I to Beatrice; what is his
name?  Don Juan de Jutella, replied Scipio's wife: it is not long
since he came to his inheritance: he lives on his own estate, about a
mile off, with a younger sister, of whom he takes care.  I once knew
something of his family, observed I; it is one of the best in
Valencia.  I care less for lineage, cried Scipio, than for the
qualities of the heart and mind; this Don Juan will exactly suit us,
if he is a good sort of man.  He is belied else, said Seraphina, with
a blushing interest in our conversation; the inhabitants of Lirias,
who know him well, say all the good of him you can conceive.  I
smiled at this; and her father, not less quick-sighted, saw plainly
that her heart had a share in the testimony of her tongue.

The gentleman soon heard of our arrival, and paid his respects to us
within two days.  His address was pleasing and manly, so as to
prepossess us in his favor.  He affected merely to welcome us home as
a neighbor.  Our reception was such as not to discourage the
repetition of his visit; but not a word of Seraphina!  When he was
gone, Beatrice asked us how we liked him.  We could have no objection
to make, and gave it as our opinion that Seraphina could not dispose
of herself better.

The next day, Scipio and I returned the visit.  We took a guide, and
luckily; for otherwise it might have puzzled us to find the place.
It was not till our actual arrival that it was visible; for the
mansion was situated at the foot of a mountain, in the middle of a
wood, whose lofty trees hid it from our view.  There was an antique
and ruinous appearance about it, which spoke more for the descent
than the wealth of its proprietor.  On our entrance, however, the
elegance of the interior arrangement made amends for the dilapidated
grandeur of the outer walls.

Don Juan received us in a handsome room, where he introduced his
sister Dorothea, a lady between nineteen and twenty years of age.
She was a good deal tricked out, as if she had primed and loaded
herself for conquest, in expectation of our visit.  Thus presenting
all her charms in full force, she did by me much as Antonia had done
before; but I managed my raptures so discreetly, that even Scipio had
no suspicion.  Our conversation turned, as on the preceding day, on
the mutual pleasure of good neighborhood.  Still he did not open on
the subject of Seraphina, nor did we attempt to draw him out.  During
our interview, I often cast a side glance at Dorothea, though with
all the reserve of delicate apprehension; whenever our eyes met, the
citadel of my heart was ready to surrender.  To describe the object
of my love justly, as well as feelingly, her beauty was not of the
most perfect kind: her skin was of a dazzling whiteness, and her lips
united the color with the fragrance of the rose; but her features
were not so regular and well proportioned as might have been wished:
yet, altogether, she won my heart.

In short, I left the mansion of Jutella a different man from what I
was on entering it: so that, returning to Lirias with my whole soul
absorbed in Dorothea, I saw and spoke only of her.  How is this,
master? said Scipio with a look of astonishment: you seem to be very
much taken with Don Juan's sister!  Can you be in love with her?
Yes, my friend, answered I: to my shame be it spoken.  Since the
death of Antonia, how many lovely females have passed in review
before me with indifference!  and must my passions be irresistibly
kindled at this time of life?  Indeed, sir, replied the son of
Cosclina, you may bless your stars, instead of squabbling with
yourself: you are not so old as to make your sacrifice at the shrine
of love a by-word; and time has not yet ploughed such furrows on your
brow as to render hopeless the desire of pleasing.  When you see Don
Juan next, ask him boldly for his sister: he cannot refuse her to
you; and besides, if his views in her settlement are ambitious, how
can he do better?  You have a patent of nobility in your pocket, and
upon that your posterity may ride easy; after five generations, when
pedigree herself shall be lost in the confusion of her materials, it
may exercise the diligence of learned inquiry to trace the family of
the Santillanes to the beginning of its archives, and consecrate the
fame of its founder by the indistinctness of his story.




_CHAPTER XIV._

_A DOUBLE MARRIAGE, AND THE CONCLUSION OF THE HISTORY._

By this discourse, Scipio encouraged me to declare myself, without
considering how he exposed me to the danger of a refusal.  My own
resolution was taken with fear and trembling.  Though I carried my
years well, and might have sunk at least ten, it did not seem
unlikely that a young beauty might turn up her nose at the disparity.
I determined, however, to bolt the question the first time I saw her
brother, who was not without his trepidations on the subject of my
goddaughter.

He returned my call the next morning, just as I had done dressing.
Signor de Santillane, said he, I wish to speak with you on some
serious business.  I took him into my closet, where entering on the
subject at once, I imagine, continued he, that you are not
unacquainted with the purpose of my visit: I love Seraphina; you are
all in all with her father; I must request you therefore to intercede
and procure for me the accomplishment of my heart's desire; then
shall I have to thank you for the prime bliss of my existence.
Signor Don Juan, answered I, as you come to the point at once, you
can have no objection to my following your example: My good offices
are fully at your service, and I shall hope for yours with your
sister in return.

Don Juan was agreeably surprised.  Can it be possible, exclaimed he,
that Dorothea should have made a conquest of your heart since
yesterday?  It is even so, said I, and it would make me the happiest
of men if the proposal should meet with your joint approbation.  You
may rely on that, replied he; though with some pretensions to family
pride, yours is not an alliance to be despised.  You flatter me
highly, rejoined I; that you are not mealy-mouthed about receiving a
commoner into your pedigree is a mark of good sense; but even if
nobility had been a necessary ingredient in your sister's requisites
for a husband, we should not have quarrelled on that account.  I have
worked out twenty years in the trammels of office; and the king, as a
reward of my long labors, has granted me a patent of nobility.  This
high-minded gentleman read my credentials over with extreme
satisfaction, and returning them, told me that Dorothea was mine.
And Seraphina yours, exclaimed I.

Thus were the two marriages agreed on between us.  The consent of the
intended brides was all that remained; for we neither of us presumed
to control the inclinations of our wards.  My friend therefore
carried home my proposal to his sister, and I called Scipio,
Beatrice, and my goddaughter together, for the purpose of laying open
a similar project.  Beatrice voted loudly for immediate acceptance,
and Seraphina silently.  The father did not say much against it, but
boggled a little at the fortune he must give to a gentleman whose
seat required such immediate and extensive repairs.  I stopped
Scipio's mouth by telling him that was my concern, and that I should
contribute four thousand pistoles to the architect's estimate.

In the evening, Don Juan came again.  Your business is going
swimmingly, said I; pray heaven mine may promise as fairly.  Better
it cannot, answered he; my influence was quite unnecessary to prevail
with Dorothea; your person had made its impression, and your manners
pleased her.  You were afraid she might not like you; while she, with
more reason, having nothing to offer you but her heart and hand ...
What would she offer more? interrupted I, out of my wits with joy.
Since the lovely Dorothea can think of me without repugnance, I ask
no more: my fortune is ample, and the possession of her is the only
dowry I should value.

Don Juan and myself, highly delighted at having brought our views to
bear so soon, were for hastening our nuptials, and cutting off all
superfluous ceremonies.  I closeted the gentleman with Seraphina's
parents; the settlements were soon agreed on, and he took his leave,
promising to return next day with Dorothea.  My eager desire of
appearing agreeable in that lady's eyes occasioned me to spend three
hours at least in adjusting my dress, and communicating the air of a
lover to my person; but I could not do it so much to my mind as in my
younger days.  The preparations for courtship are a pleasure to a
young man, but a serious business and hazardous speculation to one
who is beginning to be oldish.  And yet it turned out better than my
hopes or deserts; for Don Juan's sister received me so graciously as
to put me in good humor with myself.  I was charmed with the turn of
her mind, and foreboded that, with discreet management and much
deference, I might really get her to like me as well as anybody else.
Full of this sweet hope, I sent for the lawyers to draw up the two
contracts, and for the clergyman of Paterna to bring us better
acquainted with our mistresses.

Thus did I light the torch of Hymen for the second time, and it did
not burn blue with the brimstone of repentance.  Dorothea, like a
virtuous wife, made a pleasure of her duty; in gratitude for the
pains I took to anticipate all her wishes, she soon loved me as well
as if I had been younger.  Don Juan and my goddaughter were most
enthusiastic in their mutual ardor; and what was most unprecedented
of all, the two sisters-in-law loved one another sincerely.  Don Juan
was a man in whom all good qualities met: my esteem for him increased
daily, and he did not repay it with ingratitude.  In short, we were a
happy and united family: we could scarcely bear the interval of
separation between evening and morning.  Our time was divided between
Lirias and Jutella: his excellency's pistoles made the old
battlements to raise their heads again, and the castle to resume its
lordly port.

For these three years, reader, I have led a life of unmixed bliss in
this beloved society.  To perfect my satisfaction, heaven has deigned
to send me two smiling babes, whose education will be the amusement
of my declining years; and if ever husband might venture to hazard so
bold an hypothesis, I devoutly believe myself their father.



THE END.



BALLANTYNE AND HANSON, EDINBURGH

CHANDOS STREET, LONDON