Moonlight and Robots

                            By Jerry Dunham

                Thad hated the silly custom demanding a
            robot romance. If a man wasn't careful a thing
             like that could linger on--after the wedding!

           [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
              Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
                               May 1955
         Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
         the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]


Thad Morgan looked around his little room. The two deactivated robots
and the framework that suspended the limp suit hardly left room for him
to move around. At the moment he felt mildly disgusted with this whole
convention.

He asked himself why engagements and marriages had to be surrounded
with tradition and ridiculous games. But, of course, he had to go
through with it. Myrna seemed to have been filled with excitement when
they were discussing the final plans for the ceremony. He might as well
get started. He glanced at the clock; it was almost eight. He picked up
the book of rules and looked at it again.

He re-read the instructions for operating the mechanism. First,
it said, inspect the facsimile and see that it is well-groomed and
entirely in order. He looked at the two lifeless twins of himself.
Yes, they looked all right. He decided which one he would use tonight.
Then, he read, he was to get into the suit (the book called it a
harness), activate the selected facsimile, and set the controls. It
went on to say that every movement he made would be duplicated by the
robot. Everything the facsimile experienced would be transmitted to the
harness becoming his experiences. Well, he had practiced all that since
renting the thing three days ago. He turned towards the marriage game
rules.

The rules dictated seven situations. That would mean, in his case,
seven evenings for Myrna and him to decide whether they were meeting
each other's robots or their real selves.

The book pointed out that the primary or real body had to be used
at least once in the first five situations. The first contestant to
correctly identify the other's real body won the game and the contest
was over. The winner received commendation and was supposed to be the
dominant spouse. Of course, the last was mere convention. However,
the most important, the most rigid, and to Thad the most fantastic,
rule in the whole contest was that if the girl won, the couple was
required to wait a year before completing the marriage ceremony. That
seemed a weightier matter to Morgan. He read on. The first contestant
who correctly identified the other as a facsimile won a point. If
he failed, the other contestant had the opportunity to make an
identification. The situation ended when one contestant made a correct
identification or when both failed. Laying the book down, he decided
he'd better get started because it was getting late.

He climbed into the harness and hung in mid-air suspended by his belt.
He activated one of his facsimiles and turned his head so he could see
himself through the robot's eyes. Thumbing his nose, he watched the
creature hanging in the harness do likewise. It gave him an eerie
feeling. Even though he knew he was walking in thin air and getting
nowhere, it really seemed as if he could feel the floor under his feet
and see the room move around him in a very ordinary fashion. As soon as
his facsimile left the room, his mind made the adjustment and it was as
if it were really he strolling nonchalantly down the corridor.

He drove to a florist's shop and started to purchase a corsage.
Abashed, he caught himself. He rushed out of the shop and went home to
put a wallet and handkerchief into his pockets. He would have to be
more careful, he realized. Slips like that might cost him the contest.

With corsage box in hand, he pressed the door bell and waited. He hoped
his plastic flesh was moulded perfectly. It looked all right to him,
but you never could tell what someone else might notice. Myrna opened
the door.

       *       *       *       *       *

She was lovely and he took her in his arms. Drawing back, he looked at
her dubiously. At least, he thought it was she. His family, her family,
and two or three others, acting as judges and referees in the contest,
stood in the living room watching them. They began to laugh as they saw
his questioning look. It really was rather funny, he decided. Myrna
led him into the room and introduced him to the few he didn't know.

He watched her closely as she opened the box. He thought her fingers
were fumbling a bit. Everyone in the room watched the two of them
intently. They didn't know whether the couple were real or robot
either. At any moment, she might suddenly try to identify him. Maybe he
should take the first chance. She might be fumbling from nervousness,
he realized. If it were really she and he called her a robot, she might
be offended. Girls were like that, but of course, he would have to take
that chance.

"You're a robot," he announced suddenly.

Myrna looked surprised. "Oh, how did you know?" She was crestfallen.
He was congratulated as they all trooped upstairs to help Myrna out of
her harness. Later it was nice to know for sure that it was really her
living flesh in his arms. Then he felt guilty as he realized she was
not in his living arms. He excused himself hurriedly and returned home.

The next evening he was invited to Myrna's home for dinner. He thought
of actually going himself because he knew the food would be good. The
apparatus could transmit heat, cold, and pressure, but it didn't do
much when it came to taste and it couldn't make any sensation in one's
interior.

But he decided it would be too risky. If she identified his facsimile
she would win a point to be sure, but if she identified his real self,
well, that would end the contest and he would have to wait a year to
get married.

He would have to be careful of the food though. She might try to trick
him with something that looked good but tasted terrible, and his
facsimile would eat it just the same.

That night before sending his proxy to Myrna's dinner party, he had his
facsimile stick himself with a pin. The sharp pain made him wince. He
wondered about the mechanics of the machine. He supposed that his pain
was caused by a tiny electrical shock that stimulated a pain nerve. He
realized that the more he could find out about his equipment the better
his chances were of winning.

That evening Myrna was very watchful and very cool. He wondered if she
suspected that she had been loved by a robot the evening before. He had
hardly seated himself at the table when she called him a robot. The
families seemed uproariously amused. He wondered how she had known. He
congratulated her politely and she was allowed to go unidentified since
it was her round.

When his facsimile was brought back to the room, Thad climbed wearily
out of his harness and made himself a cold, uninteresting supper. He
felt lonely. Was Myrna really sore at him? Damn this whole business! He
wished he didn't have to go through all of this.

       *       *       *       *       *

The next evening he had a plan worked out. He went himself and greeted
her at the door, slammed it shut, and bent towards her to listen. It
would take a moment for the reverberation to reach her room. If she
were a robot, the sound would come through the primary microphone
in the sender and he might be able to hear the faint echo from her
lips. He did, and he immediately announced her as a facsimile. Her
congratulations were hardly more than civil.

He left with no great feeling of triumph.

The next three evenings, she was very distant. He understood why she
didn't meet him at the door anymore, but he couldn't tell why the rest
of her behavior was so cold. She was very lucky, too. She identified
him correctly as a robot each time before he even had time to greet
the rest of the family. The day went very slowly. Thad left the office
early in his uneasiness. Tonight was the seventh and last situation.
He hoped it also wouldn't be their last evening together. At this
point, he hardly knew what to do. If she won the contest, it would be a
whole long year before they could marry. He knew that quite often that
spelled the finish to a romance. On the other hand, if he won, it might
estrange them immediately. She had such pride. What to do?

He decided to forget the robots and go as his real self again. Points
were in her favor anyway. He realized that if she were present by
facsimile, he couldn't possibly win. He might as well be the first
one to guess and be done with it. It wasn't the contest that mattered
anyhow; it was Myrna and what she was feeling.

When he rang the doorbell that evening, the corsage box under his arm
contained orchids. Unexpectedly, it was Myrna that opened the door.

"Hello, _real_ Myrna."

She hesitated for a moment. "Good evening, Thad. Please come in."

He followed her in and greeted the family. She opened the box and for
a moment she seemed impressed. Then she regained her composure. He
accepted her formal thanks as the families milled around admiring the
gift. Everyone seemed slightly restrained. Thad finally phrased the
question that they were all thinking.

"Are you real?"

"Perhaps you could tell if you kissed me," she said with mocking
sweetness.

"Myrna, I'm sorry about that first evening, but I forgot that I wasn't
really there." He wished the family wasn't there so close. All of them
watching and listening made him feel an even greater uneasiness. Oh, he
thought, the hell with this contest!

"Myrna, honey, look, I don't care if it's really you or not. Well, that
is, I mean--"

His voice faded out. He realized he was getting more confused. Someone
snickered. Myrna was watching him with a contemptuous smile curving her
lips. The whole thing suddenly made him mad.

"O.K.! I don't care who wins the contest! I don't care if we do have to
wait a year. I don't even care at the moment if there's going to be a
wedding or not."

He started out of the room dimly aware that he was angrier than he
realized. Myrna caught him in the vestibule.

"Thad! Thad! Wait! Please, I know I was being spiteful. You won the
contest, I'm really me. Please don't go like this. I'd never forgive
myself."

She looked up at him tearfully. He felt himself relenting finally and
smiled. She threw her arms around his neck and he drew her close.

After a very long kiss, she looked up at him and said softly, "Thad,
let's be sure the robots are all sent back to the agency before our
honeymoon."