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                       _The Anatomist Dissected_:
                                 OR THE
                   Man-Midwife finely brought to Bed.
                                BEING AN
                              EXAMINATION
                                 OF THE
                                CONDUCT
                                   OF
                            Mr. _St. ANDRE_.
 Touching the late pretended Rabbit-bearer; as it appears from his own
                               Narrative.


                         By _LEMUEL GULLIVER_,
  Surgeon and Anatomist to the Kings of _Lilliput_ and _Blefuscu_, and
           Fellow of the Academy of Sciences in _Balnibarbi_.

                           The THIRD EDITION.

             _Asses and Owls, unseen, themselves betray,
             When these attempt to hoot, or those to bray._

                                                     Garth.

                             _WESTMINSTER_:

  Printed by and for _A. CAMPBELL_, and sold by the Booksellers of
    _London_ and _Westminster_. 1727. (Price 6 _d._)




[Illustration]




                       _The Anatomist Dissected_:
                                 OR THE
                   Man-Midwife finely brought to Bed.
                                BEING AN
                              EXAMINATION
                                 OF THE
                                CONDUCT
                                   OF
                          Mr. _St. ANDRE_, &c.


After that long and particular Detail of my self, and of my various
Adventures in so many different and remote parts of the Globe, as I have
lately entertain’d the Public with, I little thought any private
Occurrence, in so small a Spot as the Island of _Great Britain_, could
have rous’d my Attention, and broke in upon that Repose, in which I
hop’d to have spent the Remains of a declining Life. But small and
inconsiderable as it is, I consider it is my own Country; the Thought of
which, together with that inextinguishable Thirst after Truth and
Knowledge, in regard to my self, and an ardent Inclination of
communicating it to others, have prevail’d upon me once more to be
expos’d in Print, in order to express my Abhorrence of a late diabolical
Imposture: propagated, not so much by the Knavery of some, as by the
Ignorance and Stupidity of others. I need not say I mean the Rabbit
Affair; with which, for some Weeks past, the Minds of the People of this
Island have been so seriously and so surprizingly employ’d; so as scarce
to leave them any Leisure for Things of a more sublime Nature, and of
vastly greater Consequence and Importance.

And tho’ I verily believe this to be the real and only Cause, why the
Perusal of my Travels has been so neglected of late, which, by the Decay
of the Sale, has sensibly affected a worthy and honest Bookseller; yet I
declare to the World, that my Motives for entering the Lists against Mr.
_St. André_ (a Person to me wholly unknown, and unheard of till I saw
his Name in the News-Papers, upon that unfortunate Accident, which befel
him, when he fancied he was poyson’d) are, that little Skill which, by
my Education and Experience, I have attain’d in Surgery and Anatomy, and
that great Ignorance in both, which he has betray’d upon this Occasion.

For tho’ that Gentleman’s Candor is very great in shewing such a
remarkable Alertness, at confessing that he has been impos’d upon in
this Paltry Business; and tho’ perhaps, by that he may flatter himself,
that he shall escape all further Censure, yet I shall be at the Pains of
Convincing the World that he is mistaken, even in this also; and that,
had he not been most profoundly deficient in that discerning
Penetration, with which all true Surgeons make Enquiries of this sort,
he might have discover’d this Imposture at the very first Sight, and not
have drawn in so many Persons of distinguish’d Sense and Figure, to be
gull’d and deluded by so coarse and palpable a Fraud.

For, to begin with his Narrative; a true Surgeon, one, I mean, orderly
and properly educated in that worthy Profession, would never have
suffer’d his Curiosity to be at all alarm’d by seeing a Letter from
_Guildford_, which mention’d a Woman’s _being deliver’d of five
Rabbits_: Suppose one were to see a Letter from _Battersea_, importing
that a Woman there had been deliver’d of five Cucumbers, or indeed a
hundred Letters, would that lead a Man of Sense to believe any Thing,
but, either that the People who wrote those Letters had been grossly
impos’d upon themselves, or intended to impose upon him. Either of these
two Things may, and do happen every Day; but it was never known, that
ever any Creature brought forth any one Creature of a Species in all
Respects different from it self, much less five or seventeen such
Creatures; for which therefore, a Man of common Sense, much more a
penetrating and quicksighted Anatomist, should look upon all such
Letters with the utmost Contempt.

Yet it was the Sight of two or three such Letters (and those flagrant
with most conspicuous Tokens of Imposture) which induc’d Mr. _St.
André_, at this time of the Year, to take two Journeys to _Guildford_,
in order to enquire into the Truth of what, in Nature, it was impossible
should be true. However, to _Guildford_ he came for the first time;
where I shall attend him a while, and watch his Motions, perhaps to a
better Purpose than he did those of the Rabbit-bearing Woman: For tho’,
with all his Skill he was not able to detect her Fraud, I hope with very
little of mine to display his Ignorance.

In the first Place, how stupid must he have been, not to suspect a
Trick, when _Howard_, upon being sent for, came and acquainted him,
_that the Woman was actually in Labour of the fifteenth Rabbit_. This
puts me in Mind of what, above six and Forty Years ago, I learn’d at
School; where the Sagacity of old _Simo_ in the _Andria_ of the
_Terence_ appears, to the utter Shame of our modearn _St. Andrians_: The
old Gentleman had Reason to suspect Fraud from the known Character of a
crafty Knave he had to deal with; and whose Business it was to make him
believe, that a certain Lady was just then in Labour: Accordingly, as
they approach her House, she contrives to be in one of her Labour Pains,
and cries out so loud that the old Man must needs hear it: upon which, I
remember, he says, with much Humour and Judgment, _Hui, tam cito?
ridiculum. Postquam ante ostium me audivit stare, approperat. Non sat
commode divisa sunt temporibus tibi, Dave, hæc._ For thus, had he been
credulous enough to go to _Guildford_ to inquire into this Cheat, he
would have said, in plain _English_, upon the like Occasion, _What a
pox, is she so quick? this is the damn’dest Joke that ever was: the
Moment she hears I am arrived, she falls into one of her Labour Pains:
ah_, Howard! _this was not well tim’d of you by any means_.

But, to return from this Digression, if the Woman was _actually in
Labour of the fifteenth Rabbit_, why should Mr. _Howard_ leave her, and
stay with Mr. _St. André_ till they call’d him again, when she was said
to be in one of her Labour Pains? Here a wise Man would have smelt a Rat
instead of a Rabbit: And much more, when this Woman in Labour Pains, and
who had been in Labour some time then, nay fourteen times before, was
_found dress’d in her Stays, and sitting on the Bed-side_; and that not
for want of Help to put her to Bed; for there were _several Women near
her_. A Man must have a spritely Genius for swallowing Imposture that
was not stagger’d at such an Appearance. This sure it was that prompted
Mr. _St. André_ to wave all such Reflections, and proceed _immediately
to examine her_; when, tho’ by his own Confession, he _did not find the
Parts prepar’d for her Labour_, (which was another plain Indication of
the Roguery) yet he was weak enough to _wait for the coming on of fresh
Pains_, and, _in three or four Minutes after, to think he deliver’d her
of the intire Trunk, strip’d of its Skin, of a Rabbit about four Months
Growth_ (he meant to have said, of an Animal of the Size and Figure of a
Rabbit of four Months Growth) _in which the Heart and Lungs were
contain’d, with the Diaphragm intire_. Well, what does my Gentleman
then? He _instantly cut of a piece of them, and tried them in Water_; in
which they swam, and when they were _press’d to the Bottom, rose again_.
Now, it being notoriously the Property of the Lungs of a _Fœtus_ to
sink, and of a Creature which has been some time brought forth alive to
swim, in Water; what but an absolute Prepossession in favour of this
filthy Miracle, or a consummate Ignorance in these Matters could have
hinder’d any sober Inquirer from being determin’d in relation to this
Cheat, by the foregoing Trial? Yet Mr. _St. André_ never boggles at
this, nor at the Impossibility of the Trunk of such a Creature’s
(suppos’d but just before to be alive) being stript of its Skin, by the
contractive Faculty of the Womb; nor at the Woman’s being _chearful and
easy, and walking by her self from the Bed-side to the Fire the Moment
she was deliver’d_: But goes on _conjecturing_ in a yet more absurd
manner, that these Creatures, (as big as Rabbits of four Months Growth,
which must be within a Trifle as big as full grown ones,) were bred in
the _Fallopian Tubes_; and came into the _Uterus_ one after another,
where they lay and kick’d, till they were press’d to Death, and flead,
and all their Bones broken, in such a manner, that they were sensibly
heard to snap, by the violent convulsive Motions of it.

I take the Liberty to inform my Readers, upon this Occasion, that the
_Fallopian Tubes_ are a Passage of Communication, of scarce three Inches
long, between the _Ovaria_ and _Uterus_; thro’ which the _Embryo_, after
Conception, is convey’d from the one to the other. And tho’ at that End
next the _Uterus_ they open, somewhat like the Mouth of a Trumpet, yet,
when stretch’d to the utmost, the general Canal of them scarce exceeds
the Thickness of ones Finger: And therefore the Impossibility of any one
such Creature being contain’d there, much less of eighteen, as this
Gentleman suppos’d, must appear to every one of a common Understanding.
He tells us, no Blood nor Water issued from the _Vagina_ after this
Delivery, and that her Pulse was regular. Monstrous! that none of these
Indications should open Mr. _St. André_’s Eyes. If he thought at all,
what could he be thinking of? It is notorious, that in Births of dead
Children, Women suffer much more Pain than in those of Living ones; so
as to be, during the Operation, in high Fevers, with irregular Pulses,
and left in great Weakness afterwards. Yet this Woman is deliver’d of
fifteen dead Rabbits, such as of four Months Growth, without any
Alteration in her Pulse, without the least Inflammation or Laceration in
her _Vagina_, walking from the Bed-side, sitting down in a Chair by the
Fire, as well as if nothing had happen’d; and skilful Mr. _St. André_
swallowing this foul Imposture, without the least Squeamishness or
Reluctance.

In the _Rectum_ of this Animal, which remain’d affix’d to the Body, Mr.
_St. André_ finds _five or six Pellets, much of the same Colour and
Consistence of the common Dung of a Rabbit_. Strange! that this should
not alarm him! (it being notorious that the Excrement of a _Fœtus_ is
always liquid) but this he swallows likewise; as he does _the Skin
roll’d and squeez’d up like a Ball_, which he delivers her of some time
after: And not long after that, of _the Head, with the Fur on, Part of
one of the Ears being torn off_. Upon all which Occasions, I mean those
of the Womb’s having the Faculty of skinning a Rabbit all but the Head,
of rolling this Skin up like a Ball, and tearing off a Piece of an Ear;
this Gentleman speaks as familiarly as if they were common Cases, which
wanted not in the least to be accounted for, or wonder’d at.

In the Intervals between these notable Deliveries, Mr. _St. André_
diverted himself and his Company, _by examining the several Rabbits,
which were kept separate, in distinct Pots, with Spirits of Wine, in the
Order that they were brought away_. Here likewise, I will do my self the
Honour to attend him. And now, methinks, I see him expatiating, in a
very genteel adroit manner, upon the general Resemblance, but particular
and significant Difference between them and natural Rabbits.

“_The first_,” says he, “_does not appear to be a perfect Rabbit, in all
its Parts_.” (Here one would suppose, the Difference lay in some one or
two, at most, minute, not easily observable, Circumstances, in which
this Creature varied from a Rabbit: But, on the contrary, it seems ’twas
a perfect Cat in all its Parts, one or two only excepted.) “_Three of
the Feet being like the Paws of a Cat; the Stomach and Intestines like
those in the same Animal; as also the Shape and Figure of the_ Thorax.
Observe, _the Lungs and Heart, how entirely they are out of their
natural Situation; and squeez’d out between the upper Ribs, and_
Vertebræ _of the Neck_ (doubtless by the convulsive Motion of the
_Uterus_) _to which Parts_, observe how _strongly they grow and adhere.
The Lungs of this Creature, had they been plac’d in their natural
Cavity, would not have fill’d above a sixth Part of it. The Bones of
this Creature are likewise all so different in Substance and Structure
from those of common Rabbits_, that o’ my Conscience, _the Head and one
Paw only excepted_, I think it has not the least Resemblance of them.
_All the other thirteen Animals_ I pronounce _to be in every particular,
like well-form’d, common, natural Rabbits, from the size of two Months
Growth to four. These have been all broken to pieces much in the same
manner; but when these several parts are put together in their proper
order, they manifestly make up and appear to belong to the
abovemention’d Animals._ I confess _the_ Viscera _are wanting in four or
five of them_; but that is not very material; that Defect is amply
supply’d by this _one remarkable Circumstance, which is, that most of
these Animals_ (for Rabbits I will not call them) _as far as I can
judge, are Females. The Flesh of these Creatures, particularly of that
which I extracted, has the Smell of Rabbits just kill’d; and the
Substance of their Bones are, in all respects, like the Bones of_ Fœtus
_Rabbits_. (How particular, how dilucid, and exact is this part of his
Lecture!) _From all these Considerations_ (and many more too tedious and
impertinent to be recited) with greater Assurance than Knowledge, _I am
fully convinc’d, that, at the same time that the external Appearance of
these Animals is exactly like such Creatures as must inevitably undergo
the Changes that happen to adult Animals, by Food and Air, they carry
within them the strongest Marks of_ Fœtus’_s, even in such Parts as
cannot exist in an Adult, and without which a_ Fœtus _cannot possibly be
suppos’d to live. This, I think, proves in the strongest Terms possible,
that these Animals are of a particular kind, and not bred in a natural
way; nor will there be any Doubt remaining (even with the least knowing
in these Matters)_ when these things come to be clear’d up by _the
Anatomy of these præternatural Rabbits_ (a præternatural Anatomist Thou
art without Dispute) _which I shall publish with all convenient Speed,
with their Figures taken from the Life, and compar’d with the Parts of
Rabbits of the same Growth_ (he would have said _the same size_) _that
the Differences before-mention’d may be fully understood_.”

This therefore the publick has still just Reason to insist upon from Mr.
_St. André_; for, however he may pretend to be impos’d upon by others in
the Delivery of these Supposititious Rabbits, the learned anatomical
Observations, recited above, are purely the Result of his own Skill and
Judgment; and cannot with any Colour of Reason, be plac’d to the Account
of Fraud and Imposture in others. Especially _those Facts_ which he has
the Assurance to say _were verified, before his Majesty on_ Saturday,
Nov. _the 26th, by the anatomical Demonstration of the first, the third,
fifth and ninth of these Animals_.

However, not content with having sufficiently plac’d his Reputation at
stake in this audacious manner (for such I must call it) on the wretched
Observations abovemention’d, _out he sets for_ Guildford _again, being
resolv’d to bring the Woman to Town if there was any Prospect of more
Rabbits_. What could this Creature, this Animal have in his Head to
hinder him from concluding that a Woman in such a Condition (were it
possible any Woman could be in such a Condition) should not be mov’d out
of her Bed; much less out of her House, and much less from _Guildford_
to _London_. Yet since he is resolv’d upon another Expedition, I am
resolv’d once more to attend him thither, and observe his Motions.

And here he is again so keen upon this vile false Scent, that tho’ he
finds Mr. _Howard_ standing at his Door, who tells him that he hop’d all
was over, because that he did not perceive in the _Uterus_ any Motion as
usual, yet he visited her several Times that Day, proceeded in every
Respect, with the same Sagacity as before; and towards eight a Clock
that Evening, deliver’d her of a Piece of one of the Membranes of a
_Placenta_ (admirable!) roll’d up like Parchment. This shews how well he
is acquainted with the Texture of those Membranes. And his Deficiency in
that Point was further confirm’d by a second Delivery of (what he took
to be) _another Piece of Membrane, in Structure, Shape and Size, exactly
like the former_.

Thus I have touch’d upon, and I hope abundantly expos’d the profound
Observations contain’d in Mr. _St. André_’s short _Narrative_. Whenever
he appears in Print again, upon this Occasion, as I find he threatens to
do, I shall again be ready to guard the Public against being deluded by
his pretended Discoveries. And, tho’ it is not my Nature to insult any
Man upon Account of his Misfortunes, whether brought upon him by his own
Folly, or the Malice of others; yet give me Leave to say, it is, of the
two, a much more eligible Evil, that the Presumption of one ignorant
Empiric, should undergo a public Chastisement, than the Understandings,
of so many of his Majesty’s Loyal Subjects, be corrupted by such sham
Demonstrations.

But, after all, as I am a no less strict Lover of Justice, than an
indefatigable Searcher after Truth; now my Resentment of Mr. _St.
André_’s ill Conduct in this Affair, is somewhat cool’d by the Liberty I
have taken in censuring and exposing it, I shall offer something, by Way
of Abatement of that severe Construction, the World will be apt to pass
upon his Judgment in this Affair.

In the _first_ Place, I have the Charity to believe he has been
egregiously impos’d upon, in Relation to the Character he has publish’d
of Mr. _Howard_, whom he stiles, _a Man of known Probity_; whereas that
Name is as notorious at _Guildford_, and the Parts adjacent, for
denoting a Whisker, as ever mine was at _Redriff_, for establishing a
Truth. _Secondly_, it must be consider’d that the Pleasure of being
talk’d of, and heard to talk, in all Companies public and private, as
the very second Discoverer (Mr. _Howard_ being indisputably the first)
of this extraordinary and præternatural Production, must needs swell the
Mind of a raw Practitioner with Vanity, and make him run blindfold into
a Series of Absurdities; no one of which, at another Time, would have
found any Admittance within the Bar of his Judgment. And _Thirdly_, The
Nature of Climates, together with the several Makes, Capacities and
Tempers of the Inhabitants of different Countries, are the Reason why
Things may appear puzzling and perplexing in one Place, which in another
would be accounted for, with the greatest Ease and Certainty imaginable;
and why that, which is here a Cause of the highest Ridicule, in a
contrary Part of the Globe, would be the Occasion of raising a Man’s
Character to the most exalted Pitch of Dignity and Reputation.

For Example, had a Native of the Kingdom of _Lilliput_, happen’d to be
in this our Island, when the Story of the Rabbits was first vented at
Court; and had such a one been dispatch’d to _Guildford_, in Order to
enquire into the Truth of that Matter; upon the first View of those
Pellets, against which Mr. _St. André_ had no Objection, he, with his
fine Microscopic Eyes, would have instantly discover’d every particular
Herb the Creature had fed on that Meal. And what Mr. _St. André_ calls
_a dirty-colour’d_ Mucus, _such as is constantly found in the Bowels of
all_ Fœtus _Animals, and such as in those that void their Excrements in
Pellets, is commonly hard and dry_, our _Lilliputian_ would have
distinguish’d to have been nothing but a Parcel of mere Rabbit’s Dung,
which to him would have appear’d as coarse and large as a Scavenger’s
Load, fresh taken from a Butcher’s Lay-stall would do to us. And that
which, _in the middle of the Gut_ Ilium _of the Cat_, Mr. _St. André_
thought was _like a very small Fish Bones_, the more quicksighted little
Man would have demonstrated to have been nothing more than the Bones of
a Herring, which that Creature had devoured a few Hours before it was
thrust into the _Vagina_ of _Mary Toft_’s _Uterus_. Tho’, as Arts are
very much improv’d with us, I question whether a very ordinary
magnifying Glass, such as Children use to divert themselves with, might
not have made the Discovery as well.

But, if I am rightly inform’d, as to the Nature of Mr. _St. André_’s
Education, I am strangely surpriz’d that He, of all People, should
appear so unacquainted with the Materials of which the Strings of a
Fiddle are compos’d.

Again, tho’, in any of the _European_ Nations, those that pretend to any
Skill in Anatomy or Midwifery would be scouted to Eternity for only
questioning, or going to make Inquiry, whether it was possible for a
Woman to be delivered of eighteen Rabbits, from two to four Months
Growth; or a _Fœtus_ of that Size, but just dead, and whose _Flesh smelt
like that of a Rabbit newly kill’d_, should be voided in Fragments and
Bits; or that the same Woman, notwithstanding all these Deliveries,
should be, during the whole time, perfectly healthy and well, feeding on
nothing but Beef, Red-herring, &c. or that a Piece of Hog’s Bladder
could be part of the _Chorion_, or Membrane of the _Placenta_; yet give
me leave to say, that in the Kingdom of _Balnibarbi_, these things would
appear in quite another Light. There, tho’ a _Virtuoso_ should only
endeavour at a Demonstration of this kind, spend many Years in the
Attempt, and all his Labours prove abortive at last, yet would his
Suppositions be sure to meet with so kind a Reception from the publick,
as to procure, at least, his being adopted, _nemine contradicente_, into
the Academy of Sciences there; (of which I profess my self an unworthy
Member.) Nay, it is ten to one but he would be taken up into the
floating Island, and appointed Anatomist extraordinary to the Court of
_Laputa_.

Such is the Use I am always determin’d to make of this my Knowledge of
the World and Mankind. As I will not suffer any upstart Pretender, of
what Profession soever, to monopolize and vend his Absurdities within
this my native Country, without such Animadversions as may serve to warn
the publick against him: So, on the other side, if he happens to have
any Merit which would shine and be distinguish’d in other Regions of the
Earth, I shall be ready to do Justice in that Point also, by letting him
know in what part of the World he may be sure to find a proper Reward.

But I can’t conclude, without seriously lamenting the great Detriment
like to accrue to our Nation by the Stir which has been made about this
foul Imposture, both by the Actors and Examiners of it; and that as well
in regard to the Warreners and Poulterers, (who complain that the
Consumption of Rabbits, within this Metropolis, is become, by two
thirds, less than it was formerly;) as in relation to those obscene and
indecent Images, which for more than these nine Days last past, beyond
all Example, have fill’d the Minds, and furnish’d out the Conversation
of People of all Ranks, Ages and Conditions. And whether Ideas of this
Nature are fit to be put into the Heads of rude Boys, Boarding-school
Girls, and Old Maids, I leave every discreet and prudent Matron to
judge.


                                _FINIS._

[Illustration]

------------------------------------------------------------------------




                          TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES


 1. Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
 2. Anachronistic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as
      printed.
 3. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.





End of Project Gutenberg's The Anatomist Dissected, by Lemuel Gulliver