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[Illustration]


  UNCLE WIGGILY'S
  (TRADE MARK REGISTERED)
  AUTOMOBILE

  _by_
  HOWARD R. GARIS

  _Author of_ "UNCLE WIGGILY BEDTIME STORIES",
  "UNCLE WIGGILY'S PICTURE BOOK",
  "UNCLE WIGGILY'S STORY BOOK", Etc.

  _Illustrated by_
  LOUIS WISA

[Illustration]

  A. L. BURT COMPANY
  PUBLISHERS NEW YORK




  UNCLE WIGGILY BOOKS
  (TRADE MARK REGISTERED)

  _by_
  HOWARD R. GARIS

       *       *       *       *       *

BEDTIME STORIES


    UNCLE WIGGILY and CHARLIE and ARABELLA CHICK
    UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE RINGTAILS
    UNCLE WIGGILY ON SUGAR ISLAND
    UNCLE WIGGILY AT THE SEASHORE
    UNCLE WIGGILY AND BABY BUNTY
    UNCLE WIGGILY IN THE COUNTRY
    UNCLE WIGGILY'S PUZZLE BOOK
    UNCLE WIGGILY IN THE WOODS
    UNCLE WIGGILY'S ADVENTURES
    UNCLE WIGGILY'S AUTOMOBILE
    UNCLE WIGGILY ON THE FARM
    UNCLE WIGGILY'S BUNGALOW
    UNCLE WIGGILY'S FORTUNE
    UNCLE WIGGILY'S TRAVELS
    UNCLE WIGGILY'S AIRSHIP


       *       *       *       *       *


Larger Uncle Wiggily Volumes

       *       *       *       *       *

UNCLE WIGGILY'S PICTURE BOOK

  _33 full colored illustrations and
  32 in black and white_

UNCLE WIGGILY'S STORY BOOK

  _16 full colored illustrations and
  29 in black and white_


  _Copyright 1913 by_
  R. F. FENNO & COMPANY

UNCLE WIGGILY'S AUTOMOBILE

       *       *       *       *       *

_Printed in the United States of America_




PUBLISHER'S NOTE


  These stories appeared originally in the Evening News, of Newark, N.
  J., and are reproduced in book form by the kind permission of the
  publishers of that paper, to whom the author extends his thanks.




Uncle Wiggily's Automobile

       *       *       *       *       *


STORY I

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE SORROWFUL CROW


Once upon a time, a good many years ago, there was an old rabbit
gentleman named Uncle Wiggily Longears. He was related to Johnnie and
Billie Bushytail, the squirrels, as well as being an Uncle to Sammie
and Susie Littletail, his rabbit nephew and niece. And Uncle Wiggily
lived near Jackie and Peetie Bow Wow, the puppy dogs, while, not far
away was the home of the Wibblewobble family of ducks, and across
the street, almost, around the corner by the old slump, were the Kat
children, and Neddie and Beckie Stubtail, the nice bear children.

One day Uncle Wiggily was not feeling very well, so he sent for Dr.
Possum, who soon came over. Dr. Possum found Uncle Wiggily sitting in
the rocking chair on the front porch of the hollow stump house where he
lived.

"Well, what is the trouble, Uncle Wiggily?" asked Dr. Possum, as he
looked over the tops of his glasses.

"I am sick," answered the rabbit gentleman.

"Sick; eh?" exclaimed Dr. Possum. "Let me see. Put out your tongue!"

Uncle Wiggily did so.

"Ha! Hum!" exclaimed Dr. Possum. "Yes, I think you are ill, and you
will have to do something for it right away."

"What will I have to do?" asked Uncle Wiggily, anxious-like, and his
nose twinkled like a star on a frosty night.

"You will simply have to go away," said Dr. Possum. "There is no help
for it."

"I don't see why!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily, and he bent one of his long
ears forward and the other backward, until he looked as if he had the
letter V on top of his head. But, of course, he hadn't, for that letter
is in the reading book--or it was the last time I looked.

"Yes," said Dr. Possum, "you must go away."

"I don't see why," said Uncle Wiggily again. "Couldn't I get well at
home here?"

"No, you could not," replied Dr. Possum. "If you want me to tell you
the truth----"

"Oh, always tell the truth!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily, quickly. "Always!"

"Well, then," said Dr. Possum, as he looked in his medicine case, to
see if he had any strong peppermint for Aunt Jerushia Ann, the little,
nervous old lady woodchuck. "Well, then, to tell you the truth, you are
getting too fat, and you must take more exercise."

"Exercise!" cried Uncle Wiggily. "Why! Don't I play a game of Scotch
checkers with Grandfather Goosey Gander, the old gentleman duck, nearly
every day? And we always eat the sugar cookies we use for checkers."

"That's just it," said Dr. Possum, as he rolled up a sweet sugar-pill
for Sammie Littletail, the mill rabbit boy; "you eat too much, and you
don't jump around enough."

"But I used to," said Uncle Wiggily, while he twinkled his pink nose
like a red star on a frosty night. "Why, don't you remember the time
I went off and had a lot of adventures, and how I traveled after my
fortune, and found it?"

"That is just the trouble," spoke Dr. Possum. "You found your fortune,
and since you became rich you do nothing. I remember the time when you
used to teach Sammie and Susie Littletail how to keep out of traps, and
how to dig burrows and watch out for savage dogs."

"Ah, yes!" sighed Uncle Wiggily. "Those were happy days."

"And healthful days, too," said Dr. Possum. "You were much better off
then, and not so fat."

"And so you think I had better start traveling again?" asked Uncle
Wiggily, taking off his high hat and bowing politely to Uncle Lettie,
the nice goat lady, who was passing by, with her two horns sticking
through holes in her Sunday-go-to-meeting bonnet.

"Yes, it would be the best thing for you," spoke Dr. Possum. "Medicine
is all right sometimes, but fresh air, and sunshine, and being
out-of-doors, and happy and contented, and helping people, as Uncle
Booster, the old ground hog gentleman, used to do--all these are better
than medicine."

"How is Uncle Booster, by the way?" inquired the rabbit gentleman.

"Fine! He helped a little girl mouse to jump over a mud puddle the
other day, and after she was on the other side she jumped back, all by
herself, and fell in," said Dr. Possum, with a laugh. "That's the kind
of a gentleman Uncle Booster is!"

"Ha! Ha!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily. "That's queer! But now do you think
it would do me any good to start off and have some adventures in my
automobile?"

"It would be better to walk," said Dr. Possum. "Remember you called me
in to tell you what was the matter with you, because you felt ill. And
I tell you that you must go around more; take more exercise. Still, if
you had rather go in your auto than walk, I have no objections."

"I had much rather," said Uncle Wiggily. "I like my auto."

"Then," said Dr. Possum, "I will write that as a prescription." So on a
piece of white birch bark he wrote:


  "One auto ride every day, to be taken
  before meals.

        Dr. Possum."


"I'll do it at once," said the rabbit gentleman.

Uncle Wiggily Longears was a quite rich, you know, having found his
fortune, of about a million yellow carrots, as I have told you in some
other stories, so he could afford to have an auto.

And it was the nicest auto you could imagine. It had a turnip for a
steering wheel, and whenever Uncle Wiggily got hungry he could take a
bite of turnip. Sometimes after a long trip the steering wheel would
be all eaten up, and old Circus Dog Percival, who mended broken autos,
would have to put on a new wheel.

And to make a noise, so that no one would get run over by his machine,
Uncle Wiggily had a cow's horn fastened on his auto; so instead of
going "Honk-honk!" like a duck, it went "Moo! Moo!" like a bossy cow at
supper time.

"Well, if I'm going off for my health, I'd better start," said Uncle
Wiggily, as he went out to his auto after Dr. Possum had gone. "I'll
take a long ride."

So he got in the machine, and pushed on the doodle-oodle-um, and
twisted the tinkerum-tankerum, and away he went as fast as anything, if
not faster.

Over the fields and through the woods he went, and pretty soon he came
to a place where lived a sorrowful crow gentleman. The crow is a black
bird, and it pulls up corn and goes "Caw! Caw! Caw!" Nobody knows why,
though.

And this crow was very sorrowful. He was always thinking something
unpleasant was going to happen, such as that he was going to drop his
ice cream cone in the mud, or that somebody would put whitewash on him.
Oh, he was very sorrowful, was this crow, and his name was Mr. Caw-caw.
When Uncle Wiggily got to where the crow was sitting in a tree the
black creature cried:

"Oh, dear! O woe is me! O unhappiness!"

"Why, what is the matter?" asked Uncle Wiggily, curious-like!

"Oh, something is going to happen!" cried the crow. "I know it will
rain or snow or freeze, or maybe my feathers will all blow off."

"Don't be silly!" said Uncle Wiggily. "You just come for an auto ride
with me, and you'll feel better. Come along, bless your black tail!"

So Mr. Caw-caw got into the auto, and once more Uncle Wiggily started
off. He had not gone very far before, all of a sudden, there was a
bangity-bang noise, and the auto stopped so quickly that Uncle Wiggily
and the crow were almost thrown out of their seats.

"There!" cried the black crow. "I knew something would happen!" and he
cried "Caw! Caw! Caw!"

"It is nothing at all," said the rabbit gentleman as he got out to
look. "Only the whizzicum-whazzicum has become twisted around the
jump-over-the-clothes basket, and we can't go until it's fixed."

"Can't go?" asked the crow.

"Can't go--no," said Uncle Wiggily. And he didn't know what to do. But
just then along came Old Dog Percival, who used to work in a circus.

"I'll pull you along," he said. "You sit in the auto and steer, and
I'll pull you." And he did, by a rope fast to the car. The crow said it
was funny to have a circus dog pulling an auto, but Uncle Wiggily did
not mind, and soon they were at a place where the auto could be fixed.
So Uncle Wiggily and the crow waited there, while the machine was being
mended.

"And we will see what happens to us to-morrow," said Uncle Wiggily,
"for I am going to travel on." And he did. And in case the jumping rope
doesn't skip over the clock, and make the hands tickle the face I'll
tell you next about Uncle Wiggily and the school teacher.




STORY II

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE SCHOOL TEACHER


Uncle Wiggily Longears, the nice old gentleman rabbit, was riding
along in his automobile, with the turnip for a steering wheel, and he
had not yet taken more than two bites out of the turnip, for it was
only shortly after breakfast. With him was Mr. Caw-caw, the black crow
gentleman.

"Do you think your automobile will go all right now?" asked the crow,
as he looked down from his seat at the big wheels which had German
sausages around for tires, so in case Old Percival, the circus dog, got
hungry, he could eat one for lunch.

"Oh yes, it will go all right now," said the rabbit gentleman.
"Specially since we have had it fixed."

I think, if I am not mistaken, and in case the cat has not eat up all
the bacon, that I told you in the story before this one how Uncle
Wiggily had been advised by Dr. Possum to go traveling around for his
health and how he had started off in the auto. Did I tell you that?

He met Mr. Caw-caw and the tinkle-inkle-um on the auto broke, or else
it was the widdle-waddle-um. Anyhow, it wouldn't go, and Old Dog
Percival, coming along, pulled the machine to the fixing place. Then
Uncle Wiggily and Mr. Caw-caw slept all night and now it was daylight
again and they had started off once more.

"It is a lovely morning," said Uncle Wiggily, as he drove the machine
over the fields and through the woods. "A lovely spring day!"

"But we may get an April shower before night," said Mr. Caw-caw, the
crow gentleman, who had black feathers and who was always sad instead
of being happy. "Oh, dear, I'm sure it will rain," he said.

"Nonsensicalness!" cried Uncle Wiggily, swinging his ears around just
like some circus balloons trying to get away from an elephant eating
peanuts. "Cheer up! Be happy!"

"Well, if it doesn't rain it will snow," said the sad crow.

"Oh, cheer up," said Uncle Wiggily, as he took another bite out of the
turnip steering wheel. "Have a nibble," he went on politely. "It may
only blow."

"I'm sure it will do something," spoke the gloomy crow. "Anyhow I don't
care for turnip."

"Have some corn then," said Uncle Wiggily.

"Is it popped?" asked the crow.

"No, but I can pop it," said the old gentleman rabbit. "I will pop it
on my automobile engine, which gets very hot, almost like a gas stove."

So the old rabbit gentleman, who was riding around in his auto to take
exercise, because he was getting too fat, and Dr. Possum had said so,
popped the corn on the hot engine, and very good it was, too, for the
crow to eat.

But even the popcorn could not seem to make the unhappy crow feel
better, and he cried so much, as the auto went along, that his tears
made a mud-puddle in the road where they happened to be just then.
And the auto wheels, with the German bologna sausages on for tires,
splashed in the mud and made it fly all over like anything.

Then, just as Uncle Wiggily steered the auto right away from the road
into a nice green wood, where the leaves were just coming out on the
trees, the old gentleman rabbit heard some one saying:

"Oh, dear! Oh, dear me! I know I'll never be at school on time! Oh,
what a bad accident!"

"My!" cried Uncle Wiggily. "What can that be?"

"Oh, something dreadful, you may be sure," said Mr. Caw-caw, the crow
gentleman. "Oh, I just knew something would happen on this trip."

"Well, let it happen!" said Uncle Wiggily. "I like things to happen.
This seems to be some one in trouble, and I am going to help, whoever
it is."

"Then please help me," said the voice.

"Who are you?" asked Uncle Wiggily.

"I am the lady mouse school teacher," said some one they could not see,
"and on my way to school I ran a thorn in my foot, so I cannot walk. If
I am not there on time to open the school, the children will not know
what to do. Oh, isn't it terrible!"

"Say no more!" cried Uncle Wiggily, cheerfully. "You shall ride to
school in my auto. Then you will be there on time, and the animal
children will not have to go home and miss their lessons. I am so glad
I can help you. Isn't it horribly jolly to help people?" cried Uncle
Wiggily to the crow, just as an English rabbit might have done.

"Ha! It's jolly, all right, if you can help them," said the crow. "But
I'm sure something will happen. Some bad elephant will eat off our
sausage tires, or a cow will drink the gasoline, or we shall roll down
a hill."

"Nonsensicalness!" cried Uncle Wiggily, real exasperated-like, which
means bothered. "Get in, Miss Mouse School Teacher," he said, "and I
will soon have you at your classes."

So the lady mouse school teacher got into the auto, and sat beside Mr.
Caw-caw, who asked her how many six and seven grains of corn were.

"Thirteen," said the nice mouse school teacher.

"Thirteen in the winter," spoke the crow, "but I mean in summer."

"Six and seven are thirteen in summer just as in winter," said the lady
mouse.

"Wrong," croaked the crow. "If you plant thirteen grains of corn in
summer you'll get thirteen stalks, each with thirteen ears of corn on,
and each ear has five hundred and sixty-three grains, and thirteen
times thirteen times five hundred and sixty-three makes--how many does
it make?" he asked of Uncle Wiggily suddenly.

"Oh, please stop!" cried the lady mouse school teacher; "you make my
head ache."

"How much is one headache and two headaches?" asked the crow, who
seemed quite curious.

"Stop! Stop!" cried Uncle Wiggily, as he took a bite out of the turnip
steering wheel. "You will make the auto turn a somersault."

"How much," said the crow, "is one somersault and one peppersault added
to a mustard plaster and divided by----"

"There you go!" suddenly cried Uncle Wiggily as the auto hit a stone
and stopped. "You've made the plunkity-plunk bite the wizzie-wazzie!"

"Oh, dear!" cried the crow. "I knew something would happen!"

"Well, it was your fault," said Uncle Wiggily. "Now I'll have to have
the auto fixed again."

"Can't we go on to school?" asked the lady mouse teacher anxiously.

"No, I am sorry to say, we cannot," said Uncle Wiggily.

"Then I shall be late, and the children will all run home after all.
Oh, dear!"

"I knew something--" began the crow.

"Stop it!" cried Uncle Wiggily, provoked-like.

The lady mouse school teacher did not know what to do, and it looked as
if she would be late, for even when Uncle Wiggily had crawled under the
auto, and had put pepper on the German sausage tires, he could not make
the machine go.

But, just as the school teacher was going to be late, along came flying
Dickie Chip-Chip, the sparrow boy, with his new airship. And in the
airship he gave the lady mouse school teacher a ride to school up above
the tree tops, so she was not late after all.

She called a good-by to Uncle Wiggily, who some time afterward had his
auto fixed again, and then he and the crow gentleman went on and had
more adventures. What the next one was I'll tell you on the next page,
when the story will be about Uncle Wiggily and the candy--that is, if a
little Montclair girl, named Cora, doesn't eat too much peanut brittle,
and get her hair so sticky that the brush can't comb it.




STORY III

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE CANDY


Uncle Wiggily, the nice old gentleman rabbit, was riding along in his
automobile, with the turnip for a steering wheel and big, fat German
bologna sausages on for tires. On the seat beside Uncle Wiggily was the
crow gentleman, named Mr. Caw-caw.

"Well, where do you think you will go to-day?" asked the crow
gentleman, as he straightened out some of his black feathers with his
black bill, for the wind had ruffled them all up.

"Where will I go?" repeated Uncle Wiggily, as he steered to one side
so he would not run over a stone and hurt it, "well, to tell you the
truth--I hardly know. Dr. Possum, when he told me to ride around for my
health, because I was getting too fat, did not say where I was to go,
in particular."

"Then let's go straight ahead," said the crow. "I don't like going
around in a circle; it makes me dizzy."

"And it does me, also," spoke the rabbit gentleman. "That is why I
never can ride much on a merry-go-'round, though I often take Johnnie
or Billie Bushytail, my squirrel nephews, or Buddy and Brighteyes, the
guinea pig children, on one for a little while. But, Mr. Crow, we will
go straight ahead in my auto, and we will see what adventure happens to
us next."

For you know something was always happening to Uncle Wiggily as he
traveled around. Sometimes it was one thing, and sometimes another. You
remember, I dare say, how, the day before, he had nearly helped to keep
the nice lady mouse school teacher from being late.

Well, pretty soon, as Uncle Wiggily and the crow gentleman were riding
in the auto, all at once they looked down the road and saw a little
girl sitting on a stone. She had a box in her hands and she was trying
to open it. But she was crying so hard that she could not see out of
her eyes, because of her tears, and so she could not open the box.

"My goodness me sakes alive, and some roast beef gravy!" cried Uncle
Wiggily, as he stopped the auto. "What can be the matter with that
child?" For you know Uncle Wiggily loved children.

Then the old gentleman rabbit blew on the cow's horn, that was on his
auto to warn people kindly to get out of danger, and the cow's horn
went "Moo! Moo! Moo!" very softly, three times just like that.

The little girl looked up through her tears, and when she saw Uncle
Wiggily and the crow gentleman in the auto, she smiled and asked:

"Where is the mooley cow?"

"Only her horn is here," said Uncle Wiggily, as he made it go "Moo!"
again.

"Oh, dear," said the little girl. "I just love a mooley cow," and she
was going to cry some more, because there was no cow to be seen, when
Uncle Wiggily asked:

"What is the matter? Why are you crying?"

"Because I can't get this box open," said the little girl, whose name
was Cora.

"What is in the box?" asked the rabbit gentleman.

"Candy," said little Cora. "I just love candy, and I haven't had any
in ever so long. Now my papa gave me a box, but the string is tied on
it so tightly that I can't get the box open, and my papa went away and
forgot about it. Oh, dear. Boo! hoo! Can you open it for me, Uncle
Wiggily?"

The rabbit gentleman thought for a moment. Then he said, with a twinkle
in his eyes that matched the twinkle in his nose:

"Well, possibly I might untie the string, but you see my teeth are
so big and sharp, and are so used to gnawing wood, and bark and
carrots, and I can't see very well, even with my glasses, so I might
accidentally, when I bite through the string I might, by mistake, also
bite through the box, and eat the candy myself."

"Oh, dear!" cried the little girl. Then she added quickly, as she
thought of her polite manners: "I wouldn't mind, Uncle Wiggily, if you
did eat some of the candy. Only open the box for me so I can get part
of it," she said.

"I think I have a better plan than that," said the old gentleman
rabbit. "I will ask Mr. Caw-caw, our crow friend here, to untie the
string for you. With his sharp bill this crow gentleman can easily
loosen the knot, and that, too, without danger of breaking the box and
taking any candy."

"Will he do it?" asked the little girl eagerly.

"To be sure, I will," said the crow gentleman, and he loosened that
knot then and there with his sharp bill, which seemed just made for
such things.

"Oh, what lovely candy!" cried the little girl, as she took the cover
off the box. "I am going to give you each some!" she added. And she
gave Mr. Caw-caw some candy flavored with green corn, for he liked
that best of all, and to Uncle Wiggily she gave some nice, soft,
squishie-squashie candy, with a carrot inside. And the little girl ate
some chocolate candy for herself, and did not cry any more.

"Get in my auto," said Uncle Wiggily, "and I will give you a ride.
Perhaps we may have an adventure."

"Oh, I just love adventures!" said little Cora. "I love them even
better than candy. But we can eat candy in the auto anyhow," she went
on, with a laugh, as she climbed up in the seat.

Then Uncle Wiggily turned the tinkerum-tankerum, and with a feather
tickled the whizzicum-whazzicum to make the auto go, and it went. The
old rabbit gentleman made the cow's horn blow "Moo! Moo!" and away they
started off through the woods.

They had not gone very far, and Cora had eaten only about six pieces of
candy, when they heard a voice behind them shouting:

"Wait for me! Wait for me! I want a ride!"

"Ha!" cawed the crow, "who can that be?"

"I'll look," said Uncle Wiggily, and he did. Then he exclaimed: "Oh,
dear! It's the circus elephant. And he's grown so big lately, that if
he gets in with us he will break my auto."

"Don't let him do it then," said Mr. Caw-caw.

"I don't believe I will," said Uncle Wiggily.

"But would it be polite not to give him a ride?" asked the little girl,
as she ate another piece of candy.

"No, you are right, it would not," said Uncle Wiggily, decidedly. "I
must give him a ride, but he's sure to break my auto, and then I can't
ride around for my health any more, and stop getting fat. Oh, dear,
what a predicament!" A predicament means trouble, you know.

Then the elephant called again:

"I say, hold on there! I want a ride!" and he came on as fast as
anything. Uncle Wiggily was going to stop, and let the big creature get
in, when the crow gentleman said:

"I have it! We'll pretend we don't hear him. We'll keep right on, and
not stop, and then it won't be impolite, for he will think we didn't
listen to what he said."

"That's it," said Uncle Wiggily. "We'll do that. Pachy is the dearest
old chap in the world, you know, but he really is too big for this
auto." Pachy was the elephant's name, you see.

So Uncle Wiggily made the auto go faster, and still the elephant ran
after it, calling:

"Stop! Stop! I want a ride!"

"He's catching up to us," said the crow, looking back.

"Oh, dear!" cried Uncle Wiggily, "what's to be done?"

"I know what to do," spoke Cora. "I'll drop some pieces of candy in the
road for him, and when he stops to eat them we can get so far away he
can't catch up to us."

"Please do," begged Uncle Wiggily, and the little girl did. And when
the elephant saw the pieces of candy, being very fond of sweet things,
he stopped to pick them up in his trunk and eat them.

And it took him quite a while, for the candy was well scattered about.
And when the elephant had eaten the last piece Uncle Wiggily and the
crow, and little girl, were far off in the auto and the elephant could
not catch them to break the machine; though even if he had smashed it
he would not have meant to do so.

So Uncle Wiggily rode on, looking for more adventures, and he soon
found one. I'll tell you about it in the next story, which will be
called, "Uncle Wiggily at the Squirrel House;"--that is if the clothes
wringer doesn't squeeze the rubber ball so it cries and makes water
come in the eyes of the potatoes.




STORY IV

UNCLE WIGGILY AT THE SQUIRREL HOUSE


Uncle Wiggily, the nice old gentleman rabbit, was standing one day in
front of his new automobile which had run away with him upsetting, and
breaking one of the wheels. But it had been fixed all right again.

"I think this automobile will go fine now," said Uncle Wiggily to
himself, as he got up on the front seat. "Now, I am ready to start off
on some more travels, and in search of more adventures, and this time
I won't have to walk. Now let me see, do I turn on the fizzle-fazzle
first or the twinkum-twankum? I forget."

So he looked carefully all over the automobile to see if he could
remember what first to turn to make it go, but he couldn't think what
it was. Because, you see, he was all excited over his accident. I
didn't tell you that story because I thought it might make you cry. It
was very sad. The crow gentleman flew away after it.

"I guess I'll have to look in the cookbook," said Uncle Wiggily.
"Perhaps that will tell me what to do."

So he took out a cookbook from under the seat and leafed it over until
he came to the page where it tells how to cook automobiles, and there
he found what he wanted to know.

"Ha! I see!" cried Uncle Wiggily; "first I must twist the
dinkum-dankum, and then I must tickle the tittlecum-tattlecum, and then
I'll go."

Well, he did this, and just as he was about to start off on his journey
out came running Sammie and Susie Littletail, the two rabbit children,
with whom Uncle Wiggily sometimes lived.

"Oh, Uncle Wiggily!" cried Susie, "where are you going?"

"And may we come along?" asked Sammie, making his nose twinkle like two
stars on a night in June.

"I am going off on a long journey, for my health, and to look for more
adventures," said the old gentleman rabbit. "I am tired of staying
around the house taking medicine for my rheumatism. So Dr. Possum told
me to travel around. I don't just know where I am going, but I am going
somewhere, and if you like you may come part of the way. Hop in."

Sammie and Susie hopped in the back part of the auto, where there
were two little seats for them, and then Uncle Wiggily turned the
whizzicum-whazzicum around backward and away they went as nicely as the
baby creeps over the floor to catch the kittie by the tail; only you
mustn't do that, you know; indeed not!

"Oh, isn't this great?" cried Susie, in delight.

"It certainly is," agreed Sammie, blinking his pink eyes because the
wind blew in them. "I hope Uncle Wiggily has an adventure while we're
with him."

And then, all of a sudden, a doggie ran across the road in front of the
auto, and the doggie's tail was hanging down behind him and sticking
out quite a bit, and, as it was quite a long tail, Uncle Wiggily nearly
ran over it, but, of course, he didn't mean to, even if he had done it.

"Look out of the way, little doggie!" cried the old gentleman rabbit,
kindly.

"I am looking as fast as I can!" cried the doggie, and he ran to the
sidewalk as quickly as he could, and then he turned around to see if
his tail was still fastened to him.

"That came near being an adventure," said Susie, waving her pocket
handkerchief.

"Yes, almost too near," said Uncle Wiggily. "I think I will go through
the woods instead of along the streets, and then I won't be in any
danger of running over any one."

So he steered the auto toward the woodland road, and Sammie cried:

"Oh, I know what let's do! Let's go call on Johnnie and Billie
Bushytail, the squirrel boys. Then we'll have some fun."

"All right, we'll do it," agreed Uncle Wiggily, for he liked fun as
much as the children did, if not more.

Well, as they were going along the road, all of a sudden they heard a
little voice calling to them.

"Oh, please don't run over me!" the voice cried. "Please be careful!"
And, looking down, Sammie saw a little black cricket on the path just
ahead of the auto, which Uncle Wiggily was now making go very slowly.

"Why don't you get out of the way if you don't want to be run over?"
asked Susie, politely, for the cricket just stood still there, looking
at them, and not making a move.

"Oh, I'm so stiff from the cold that I can't hop about any more," said
the cricket, "or else I would hop out of the way. You know I can't
stand cold weather."

[Illustration]

"That's too bad," said Uncle Wiggily as he stopped the auto. "I'll give
you a ride, and perhaps I can find some warm place for you to spend the
winter."

So the old gentleman rabbit kindly picked up the cold and stiff cricket
and gave it to Susie, and Susie gently put it in the warm pocket of her
jacket, and there it was so nice and cozy-ozy that the cricket went
fast to sleep.

And then, in about forty-'leven squeak-squawk toots of the big
mooley-cow automobile horn, there they were at the home of Johnnie and
Billy Bushytail, the squirrel brothers.

"Toot! Toot!" tooted Uncle Wiggily on his tooter-tooter mooley-cow horn.

"There! I guess that will bring out the boys if they are in the house,"
said the old gentleman rabbit.

And then, all of a sudden, something happened. Susie and Sammie were
looking at the front door, expecting Johnnie and Billie to come out,
when Susie saw a great big bear's face up at one window of the squirrel
house.

"Oh! Look! Look!" she cried. "The bear has gotten in and maybe he has
bitten Johnnie."

And just then Sammie looked at the other window and he saw a wolf's
face peering out.

"Oh, dear!" cried Sammie, "the wolf has gotten Billie."

"My gracious!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily. "I'm going for the police
right away. Hold on tightly, children, for I am going to twist the
tinkerum-tankerum and make this automobile go very fast. Oh! how sorry
I am for poor Johnnie and Billie."

But just before Uncle Wiggily could start the auto, there was a shout
of laughter. The front door of the Bushytail home swung open, and out
rushed Billie and Johnnie, jumping and skipping. And Johnnie had a
wolf's false face in his paws and Billie had a bear's false face in his
paws.

"Ho! Ho!" they shouted together. "Did we scare you, Uncle Wiggily? We
didn't mean to, but we were just practising."

"Was that you boys looking out of the windows with your false faces
on?" asked Uncle Wiggily very much surprised-like.

"That was us," said Johnnie.

"And wasn't there a real bear?" asked Susie, flapping her ears.

"And wasn't it a real wolf?" asked Sammie, wiggling his paws.

"Not a bit," said Billie. "We're just getting ready for Hallowe'en
to-morrow night, and those were our false faces, you know, and I wish
you'd all stay with us and have some fun."

"We will," said Uncle Wiggily. "I'll put my auto in the barn, and we'll
stay."

So they did, and in case the little wooden dog with the pink-blue nose
doesn't bite the tail of the woolly cat, I'll tell you next about Uncle
Wiggily having Hallowe'en fun.




STORY V

UNCLE WIGGILY'S HALLOWE'EN FUN


"Oh, dear, I wish it were night," said Susie Littletail.

"So do I!" exclaimed Sammie, her brother. "Then it would be Hallowe'en."

"And both of us wish the same thing," said Johnnie Bushytail, as he and
his brother Billie went skipping about the room of their house.

"Oh, don't wish so hard or night might come before I'm ready for it,"
said Uncle Wiggily Longears, the old gentleman rabbit. "I've got to
decorate my auto yet and get my false face, you know."

"What kind are you going to have?" asked Susie.

"Oh, I think I'll dress up like an elephant," said Uncle Wiggily.

"But what will you do for a trunk?" asked Mrs. Bushytail, for, you see,
Uncle Wiggily and Sammie and Susie had stayed at the squirrel's house
to have some fun. This was the first place the old gentleman rabbit
came to after starting out in his auto for his health, and after some
fresh adventures. "What will you do for an elephant's trunk?" asked
Mrs. Bushytail.

"I will take a long stocking and stuff it full of soft cotton so it
will look just like an elephant's face," said Uncle Wiggily. "Then I'll
go out with the children in my auto and we'll have a lot of fun."

So all that day they got ready for the Hallowe'en fun they were to have
that night. Johnnie and Billie had their false faces, you remember;
Johnnie had a wolf's face and Billie a bear's, and they were too cute
for anything. But, of course, Sammie and Susie Littletail and Uncle
Wiggily had to have some false faces also, and it took quite a while
for the rabbit children to decide what they wanted.

"I think I'll dress up like a wild Indian," said Sammie at last.

"And I'm going to be a pussy cat," said Susie.

"And if any dogs chase you, I'll growl at them, and scare them away,"
said Billie, who was going to be a make-believe bear.

"Yes, and I'll tickle them with my stuffed-stocking elephant's trunk,"
said Uncle Wiggily. "Now, I must go out and put some oil and gasoline
in my auto, and see that the frizzle-frazzle works all right, so we can
go Hallowe'en riding to-night."

Finally the animal children were all ready, and they were waiting for
it to get dark so they could go out. And, pretty soon, after supper,
when the sun had gone to bed, it did get dark. Then the four animal
children and Uncle Wiggily went out in the auto.

Say, I just wish you could have seen them; really I do! and I'd show
you a picture of them, only I'm not allowed to do that. And besides it
was too dark to see pictures well, so perhaps it doesn't much matter.

Oh, but they were the funny looking sights, though! Billy Bushytail
acted like a real bear, growling as hard as ever he could, though, of
course, he was polite about it, as it was only fun. And what a savage
make-believe wolf Johnnie was!

And there was Susie, as cute a little pussy cat as one would meet with
in going from here to the moon and back. And as for Sammie, well, say,
he was so much like a real Indian that when he looked in the glass
he was frightened at himself; yes, really he was, and he had truly
feathers on, too; not make-believe ones, either.

Uncle Wiggily was dressed up like an elephant, and he sat in the front
of the auto to steer it. Only his stuffed-stocking trunk got in the
way of the steering wheel, so Uncle Wiggily had to put it behind him,
over his left shoulder and have Susie hold it. I mean she held his
stuffed-stocking trunk, not the steering wheel, you know.

"Here we go!" suddenly cried Uncle Wiggily, and his voice sounded far
away because it had to go down inside the stuffed-stocking elephant
trunk and come out again around in back of him. Then he twisted the
tinkerum-tankerum, and away they went in the automobile.

All at once, from around a corner, came a big clown with red, white and
blue all over his face. He had a rattlety-bang-banger thing and he was
making a terrible racket on it.

"Oh, I know who that is!" cried Susie. "You're Jimmie Wibblewobble, the
boy duck."

"That's right," said the clown, making more noise than ever.
"Whoop-de-doodle-do! Isn't this fun!"

Along went the auto and by this time there were a whole lot of animal
children prancing and dancing around it. Uncle Wiggily had to make the
auto go real slowly so as not to hurt any of them, for they were all
over the streets.

There was Buddy Pigg, dressed up like a camel, and there was Dickie
Chip-Chip and his sister, and they were dressed up like sailors.
Brighteyes Pigg had on a cow's false face and Billie Goat was dressed
up like a Chinaman, while Nannie, his sister, was supposed to be a lady
with a sealskin coat on. Oh, I couldn't tell you how all the different
animal children were dressed, but I'll just say that Bully, the frog,
with his tall hat, was dressed like a football player and Aunt Lettie,
the nice old lady goat, made believe she was a fireman, and Munchie
Trot was a pretend-policeman.

And such fun as they had! Uncle Wiggily steered the auto here and
there, and squeaked and squawked his tooter-teeter so no one would get
hurt. There were about forty-'leven tin horns being blown, and the
wooden rattlety-bang-bangs were rattling all over and some one threw a
whole lot of prettily colored paper in the air until it looked as if it
were raining red, pink, green, purple, blue, yellow and skilligimink
colored snow.

And then, all at once, out from the crowd, came a figure that looked
like a bear. Oh, it was very real looking with long teeth, and shaggy
fur, and that bear came right up to the auto that Uncle Wiggily was
steering.

"I've come to get you!" growled the bear, away down in his throat.

"Oh, he's almost real!" exclaimed Susie, and she forgot that she was
holding Uncle Wiggily's stuffed-stocking trunk, and let go of it, so
that it hung down in front of him.

"I am a real bear!" growled the shaggy creature.

"Oh, you can't fool us," said Johnnie Bushytail, with a laugh. "You're
Jacko or Jumpo Kinkytail dressed up like a bear, just as my brother
Billie is. You can't fool us."

"But I am a real bear!" growled the shaggy creature again, "and I'm
hungry so I'm going to bite Uncle Wiggily."

And, would you ever believe it? he was a real bear who had come in from
the woods. He made a grab for Uncle Wiggily, but the old gentleman
rabbit leaned far back in his auto seat, and the bear only got hold of
the stuffed-stocking trunk. And then the bear pulled on that so hard
that it came all apart and the cotton stuffing came out, and got up the
bear's nose and made him sneeze.

And then up came running Munchie Trot, the pony boy, who was dressed
like a policeman, and with his club Munchie tickled the bear on his
ear, and that shaggy creature was glad enough to run back to the woods,
taking his little stubby tail with him, so he didn't eat anybody.

"My, it's a good thing, I didn't have on a real elephant's trunk," said
Uncle Wiggily, "or that bear would have bitten it off, for real trunks
are fastened on tight."

"Yes, indeed," said Susie. So after everybody got over being scared
at the real bear they had a lot of fun and Uncle Wiggily took all the
children to a store and treated them to hot chocolate, and then he and
Sammie and Susie and Billie and Johnnie went home in the auto, and went
to bed. And Uncle Wiggily had another adventure next day.

I'll tell you about it on the page after this, when, in case it doesn't
rain lightning bugs down the chimney, the story will be about Uncle
Wiggily going chestnutting.




STORY VI

UNCLE WIGGILY GOES CHESTNUTTING


"Where are you going this morning, Uncle Wiggily?" asked Johnnie
Bushytail of the old gentleman rabbit the day after the Hallowe'en fun.

"Oh, I am going to take a ride and see if I can find any more
adventures," said Uncle Wiggily, as he went out in the barn to
look and see if his auto had any holes in the rubber tires,
or if the what-you-may-call-it had gotten twisted around the
whose-this-cantankerum.

"May I go with you?" asked Billie Bushytail, as he followed Uncle
Wiggily. "We don't want you to go away from our house so soon. We'd
like to have you pay us a nice, long visit."

"Hum, well, I'll think about it," said Uncle Wiggily, slowly, and
careful-like. "I'll stay as long as I can. But as for you squirrel boys
going for a ride in my auto, why I guess you may come if your mamma
will let you. Yes, it's all ready for a spin," he went on, as he saw
that the tiddle-taddleum was on straight, and that the wheels had no
holes in them.

"Oh, goody! Come on!" cried Billie to Johnnie; so into the house they
hurried to ask their mamma, and she said they might go.

A little later, with the squirrel boys sitting in the back part of the
auto, away they went, Uncle Wiggily steering here and there and taking
care not to run over any puppy-dogs' tails or over any alligators'
noses.

"Are you going off in the woods?" asked Johnnie, as he saw the old
gentleman rabbit steering toward the tree-forest.

"I think I will," answered Uncle Wiggily. "I want to see Grandfather
Goosey Gander, and if we go through the woods that is the shortest way
to his house."

"Then, perhaps, we can stop and gather some chestnuts," said Johnnie.
"There may be a few left that the other squirrels haven't yet picked
up, and I heard papa saying to mamma the other night that we need a
whole lot more than we have, so we wouldn't be hungry this winter."

"Oh, yes; let's get chestnuts!" cried Billie.

"All right," answered Uncle Wiggily, smiling, and then he had to turn
the auto to one side very quickly, for a fuzzy worm was hurrying along
the path, on her way to the grocery store, and Uncle Wiggily didn't
want to run over her, you know.

"Thank you very much for not squashing me flat like a pancake," said
the worm, as she wiggled along.

"Oh, pray do not mention such a little thing," said Uncle Wiggily,
politely. "I am always glad to do you a favor like that."

Then he turned the handle so some more gasoline would squirt into the
fizzle-fozzleum, and away the automobile went faster than ever.

Pretty soon they came to the woods, and Johnnie and Billie began
looking about for chestnut trees. Squirrels, you know, can tell a
chestnut tree a great way off, and soon Johnnie saw one.

"Stop the auto here, Uncle Wiggily," said Johnnie, "and we'll see if
there are any chestnuts left."

So the old gentleman rabbit did this, and, surely enough, there were
quite a few of the brown nuts lying on the ground, partly covered with
leaves.

"Take a stick and poke around and you'll find more," said Billie to his
brother, and pretty soon all three of them, including Uncle Wiggily,
were picking up the nuts. Of course, the automobile couldn't pick up
any; it just had to stand still there, looking on. I guess you know
that, anyhow, but I just thought I'd mention it to make sure.

"Oh, here is another tree over there!" cried Johnnie after a while, as
he ran to a large one. "It's got heaps and heaps of chestnuts under it,
too. I guess no squirrels or any chipmunks have been here. Oh, we can
get lots of nuts to put away for winter!"

So the two squirrel boys filled their pockets with nuts, and so did
Uncle Wiggily, and they even put some in the automobile, though, of
course, the auto couldn't eat them, but it could carry them away. And
then, all of a sudden, Billie cried:

"Oh, I know what let's do! Let's build a little fire and roast some of
the chestnuts. They're fine roasted."

"I guess they are," said Uncle Wiggily, "and so we'll cook some,
though, as for me, I'd rather have a roast carrot or a bit of baked
apple."

"Maybe we can find some apples to bake while we're roasting the
chestnuts," said Billie. "We'll look."

They looked all around, and in a field not far from the woods they
found an apple tree and there were some apples on the ground under it.
They picked up quite a few and then they got some flat stones and made
a place to build a fire.

Uncle Wiggily lighted it, for it isn't good for children to have
anything to do with matches, and soon the fire was blazing up very
nicely and was quite hot.

"Now put the chestnuts down to roast on the hot stones," said the
rabbit gentleman, after a bit, to the two squirrel boys, "and I'll put
some apples on a sharp stick and hold them near the blaze to roast.
Why, boys! This is as much fun for me as a picnic!" he exclaimed
joyfully.

But listen! Something is going to happen. All of a sudden, as they were
sitting quietly around the fire and wishing the apples and chestnuts
would hurry up and roast, all of a sudden a man came along with a gun.
He stood by the fence that went around the field where they had picked
up the apples, and that man said, in a grillery-growlery voice:

"Ah, ha! So those squirrels and that rabbit have been taking my apples,
eh? I can smell 'em! Sniff! Snoof! Snuff! Well, I'll soon put a stop to
that! I'm glad I brought my gun along!"

He was just aiming his gun at poor Uncle Wiggily and also at Johnnie
and Billie Bushytail, and the rabbit and the squirrels didn't know what
in the world to do, for they were too frightened to run, when, all
of a sudden there was a tremendously loud bang-bang in the fire and
something flew out of it and hit that man right on the end of his nose.

"Ouch-ouchy!" the man cried.

"Bang!" went something again, and this time it flew over and hit the
man on his left ear. Now what do you think of that?

"Ouch! Ouchy!" the man yelled again.

"Bang!" went the noise for the third shot, and this time the man was
hit on his other ear.

"Ouch! Ouchy!" he cried again. "They're shooting at me. I'd better
run." And run away he did, taking his gun with him, and so Uncle
Wiggily and Johnnie and Billie weren't hurt.

"My, that was a narrow escape," said Johnnie. "What was it that made
the bang noise, and hit the man?"

"It was the roast chestnuts," said Uncle Wiggily, "I forgot to tell you
to make little holes in them before you roasted them or else they would
burst. And burst they did, and I'm glad of it, for they scared that
man. But I guess we had better be going now, for he may come back."

So they took the apples, which were nicely roasted now, and they took
the chestnuts that were left and which hadn't burst, and away they went
in the auto and had a fine ride, before going home to bed.

And now I'll say good-night, but in case the cow who jumped over the
moon doesn't kick our milk bottles off the back stoop, I'll tell you,
in the story after this one, about Uncle Wiggily and the pumpkin.




STORY VII

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE PUMPKIN


"Well," said Uncle Wiggily Longears one fine fresh morning, just after
the milkman had been around to leave some cream for the coffee, "I
think I will be traveling on again, Mrs. Bushytail."

"Oh, don't go yet!" begged Billie, the boy squirrel.

"No, you haven't made us a long visit at all," spoke his brother
Johnnie. "Can't you stay a long, long time?"

"Well, I promised Jimmie Wibblewobble, the boy duck, that I would come
in my new automobile and pay him and his sisters a visit," said the old
gentleman, as he wiggled first his left ear and then the right one to
see if there were any pennies stuck in them. And he found two pennies,
one for Johnnie and one for Billie.

"Oh, please stay with us a few more days. You can go visit the
Wibblewobble family next week," said Johnnie; "can't he, mother?"

"Yes, I really think you might stay with us a little longer," said
Mrs. Bushytail, as she was mending some holes in Johnnie's stocking.
"Besides, I thought you might do me a favor to-day, Uncle Wiggily."

"A favor!" exclaimed the old gentleman rabbit, making a low bow. "I am
always anxious to do you a favor if I can. What is it, Mrs. Bushytail?"

"Why, I thought you and the boys might like to go off in the automobile
and see if you could find me a nice, large yellow pumpkin," said the
squirrel lady.

"Oh, goody!" cried Billie. "I know what for--to make a Jack-o'-lantern
for us, eh, mamma?"

"Sure!" cried Johnnie, jumping up and down because he was so happy,
"and we'll take it out after dark, Billie, and have some fun with Bully
the frog."

"Oh, no, not a pumpkin for a Jack-o'-lantern," said Mrs. Bushytail.
"What I need a pumpkin for is to make some pies, and I thought you
might like to get one, Uncle Wiggily."

"Yes, indeed, I would!" exclaimed the old gentleman rabbit. "I am very
fond of hunting pumpkins for pies, and also eating them after they are
baked. I like pumpkin pie almost as much as I do cherry pie. Come on,
boys, let's get into the auto and we'll go look for a pumpkin."

"But don't go near that man's field who was going to shoot us the other
day because we took a few apples," said Billie, and Uncle Wiggily said
he wouldn't. So out they went to the barn, where the auto was kept,
leaving Mrs. Bushytail in the house mending stockings and getting ready
to bake the pumpkin pies.

"Here we go!" cried Uncle Wiggily, when he had tickled the
tinkerum-tankerum with a feather to make it sneeze.

Away went the auto, and as it rolled along on its big fat wheels Uncle
Wiggily sang a funny little song, like this:

     "Pumpkin pie is my delight,
     I eat it morning, noon and night,
     It's very good to make you grow,
     That's why the boys all love it so.

     "If I could have my dearest wish,
     I'd have some cherries in a dish.
     And then a pumpkin pie, or two;
     Of course, I'd save a piece for you.

     "Perhaps, if we are good and kind,
     A dozen pumpkins we may find,
     We'll bring them home and stew them up,
     And then on pumpkin pie we'll sup."

Well, after he had sung that song, Uncle Wiggily felt better. The auto
felt better also, I guess, for it ran along very fast, and, all of a
sudden, they came to a place where there was a field of pumpkins. Oh,
such lovely, large, golden yellow pumpkins as they were.

"Hurray!" cried Johnnie.

"Whoop-de-doodle-do!" cried Billie.

"Dear me hum suz dud!" cried Uncle Wiggily. "It couldn't be better. But
I wonder if these pumpkins would mind if we took one?"

"Not in the least! Not in the least!" suddenly cried a voice near the
fence, and looking over, Uncle Wiggily and the boys saw Grandfather
Goosey Gander, the old gentleman duck, standing there on one leg. "This
is my field of pumpkins," said Grandfather Goosey, "and you may take as
many as you like." Then he put down his other leg, which he had been
holding up under his feathers.

"Thank you very much," spoke Uncle Wiggily politely.

"And may we each have a pumpkin to make a Jack-o'-lantern?" asked
Billie.

"To be sure," answered Grandfather Goosey, so Uncle Wiggily took a very
large pumpkin for a pie, and the boy squirrels took smaller ones for
their lanterns. Then Uncle Wiggily took a few more to be sure he would
have plenty, but none was as large as the first one.

"I will send you some pumpkin pies when Mrs. Bushytail bakes them,"
promised the old gentleman rabbit as he got ready to travel on with the
boys in the auto.

"I wish you would," said Grandfather Goosey, "as I am very fond of
pumpkin pie with watercress salad on top."

On and on went the auto, and Billie and Johnnie were talking about how
they would make their Jack-o'-lanterns and have fun, when all of a
sudden, out from the bushes at the side of the road, jumped the big,
bad savage wolf.

"Hold on there!" he cried to Uncle Wiggily. "Stop, I want to see you!"

"You want to bite me, I guess," said the old gentleman rabbit. "No,
sir! I'm not going to stop."

"Then I'll just make you!" growled the wolf, and with that what did he
do but bite a hole in one of the big rubber tires, letting out all the
wind with a puff, so the auto couldn't go any more.

"Now see what you've done!" cried Johnnie. "Yes, and it was a nice, new
auto, too," said Billie sorrowfully.

"Fiddlesticks!" cried the wolf. "Double fiddlesticks. Don't talk to me.
I'm hungry. Get out of that auto, now, so I can bite you."

"Oh! what shall we do?" whispered Johnnie.

"Hush! Don't say a word. I'm going to play a trick on that wolf," said
Uncle Wiggily. Then he spoke to the savage creature, saying: "If you
are going to eat us up, I s'pose you will; but first would you mind
taking one of these pumpkins down to the bottom of the hill and leaving
it there for Mrs. Bushtail to make a pie of?"

"Oh, anything to oblige you, since I am going to eat you, anyhow,"
said the wolf. "Give me the pumpkin, but mind, don't try to run away,
while I'm gone for I can catch you. I'll come back and eat you up in a
minute."

"All right," said Uncle Wiggily, giving the wolf a little pumpkin, and
pretending to cry, to show that he was afraid. But he was only making
believe, you see. Well, the wolf began to run down to the foot of the
hill.

"Now, quick, boys!" suddenly cried Uncle Wiggily. "We'll roll the
biggest pumpkin down after him, and it will hit him and make him as
flat as a pancake, and then he can't eat us! Lively, now!"

So, surely enough, they took the big pumpkin out of the auto and rolled
it down after the wolf. He heard it coming and he tried to get out of
the way, but he couldn't, because he was carrying another pumpkin, and
he stumbled and fell down, and the big pumpkin rolled right over him,
including his tail, and he was as flat as two pancakes, and part of
another one, and he couldn't even eat a toothpick.

Then, Uncle Wiggily and the boys fixed the hole in the tire, pumped it
full of wind, and hurried on, and they had plenty of pumpkin left for
pies, and they were soon at the squirrel's house, safe and sound, so
that's the end of the story.

But on the next page, if the milk bottle doesn't roll down off the
stoop and tickle the doormat, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggily and the
pumpkin pie.




STORY VIII

UNCLE WIGGILY'S JACK-O'-LANTERN


"I really think I must be traveling on to-day," said Uncle Wiggily,
the nice old gentleman rabbit, one bright morning when he had gone out
to the Bushtail barn to see if there were any slivers sticking in the
rubber tires of his automobile. "I have been here quite a while now,
boys, and I want to pay a visit to some of my other friends," he added.

"Oh, please don't think of going!" begged Johnnie Bushtail, the boy
squirrel.

"Please, can't you stay a little longer?" asked Billie, his brother.
"Johnnie and I are going to make Jack-o'-lanterns to-night from the
pumpkin you got us, and you may help if you like."

"Oh, that will be fine," said Uncle Wiggily. "I suppose I really must
stay another night. But after that I shall have to be traveling along,
for I have many more friends to visit, and only to-day I had a letter
from Jimmie Wibblewobble, the duck boy, asking when I was coming to see
him."

"Well, never mind about that. Let's get to work at making
Jack-o'-lanterns now and not wait for to-night," suggested Johnnie.
"We'll make three lanterns, one for Uncle Wiggily and one for each of
us."

So they sat down on benches out in the back yard, where the pumpkin
seeds wouldn't do any harm, and they began to make the lanterns. And
this is how you do it. First you cut a little round hole in the top of
the pumpkin--the part where the stem is, you know. And then you scoop
out the soft inside where all the seeds are, and you can save the seeds
to make more pumpkins grow next year, if you like.

Then, after you have the inside all scraped out clean, so that the
shell is quite thin, you cut out holes for the two eyes and a nose and
a mouth, and if you know how to do it you can cut make-believe teeth
in the Jack-o'-lantern's mouth. If you can't do it yourselves, perhaps
some of the big folks will help you.

[Illustration]

So that's how the squirrel boys and Uncle Wiggily made their
Jack-o'-lanterns, and when they were all finished they put a lighted
candle inside and say! My goodness! It looked just like a real person
grinning at you, only, of course, it wasn't.

"Won't we have fun to-night!" exclaimed Johnnie as he finished his
lantern.

"We certainly will!" said Billie, dancing a little jig.

"What are you going to do with your lantern, Uncle Wiggily?" asked
Johnnie.

"Oh, I don't know," answered the old gentleman rabbit. "I may take it
with me on my travels."

Well, after the three lanterns were made, there was still plenty of
time before it would be dark, so Uncle Wiggily and the boys made some
more lanterns. And along came Lulu and Alice and Jimmie Wibblewobble,
the duck children, and as they had no Jack-o'-lanterns of their own,
Johnnie gave Lulu one and Billie gave Alice one, and Uncle Wiggily
gave Jimmie one, and my! you should have seen how pleased those duck
children were! It was worth going across the street just to look at
their smiling faces.

Well, pretty soon, after a while, not so very long, it was supper time,
and there was pumpkin pie and carrot sandwiches and lettuce salad, and
things like that for Uncle Wiggily, and nut cake and nut candy and nut
sandwiches for the squirrels.

Uncle Wiggily was folding up his napkin, and he was just getting out of
his chair to go in the parlor, and read the paper with Mr. Bushytail,
when, all of a sudden, there came a knock on the front door.

"My goodness! I wonder who that can be?" exclaimed Mrs. Bushytail.

"I'll go see," spoke her husband, and when he went to the door there
was kind old Mrs. Hop Toad on the mat, wiping her feet.

"Oh, is Uncle Wiggily Longears here?" asked Mrs. Toad. "If he is, tell
him to come back to the rabbit house at once, for Sammie Littletail is
very sick, and they can't get him to sleep, and the nurse thinks if he
heard one of Uncle Wiggily's stories he would shut his eyes and rest."

"I'll come right away," said Uncle Wiggily, for he had gone to the
front door, also, and had heard what Mrs. Hop Toad had said. "Wait
until I get on my hat and coat and I'll crank up my automobile and go
see Sammie," said the rabbit gentleman.

"I won't wait," said Mrs. Toad. "I'll hop on ahead, and tell them
you're coming. Anyhow it gives me the toodle-oodles to ride in an auto."

So she hopped on ahead, and Uncle Wiggily was soon ready to start off
in his car. Just as he was going, Billie Bushytail cried out:

"Oh, Uncle Wiggily, take a Jack-o'-lantern with you and maybe Sammie
will like that."

So the old gentleman rabbit took one of the pumpkin lanterns up on the
seat with him, and away he went. And then, all at once, as he was going
through a dark place in the woods in his auto, the wind suddenly blew
out all his lanterns--all the oil lamps on the auto I mean, and right
away after that a policeman dog cried out:

"Hey, there, Mr. Longears, you can't go on in your auto without a
light, you know. It's against the law."

"I know it is," said Uncle Wiggily. "I'll light the lamps at once." But
when he tried to do it he found there was no more oil in them.

"Oh, what shall I do?" he cried. "I'm in a hurry to get to Sammie
Littletail, who is sick, but I can't go in the dark. Ah! I have it. The
Jack-o'-lantern! I'll light the candle in that, and keep on going. Will
that be all right, Mr. Policeman?"

"Sure it will," said the policeman dog, swinging his club, and wishing
he was home in bed.

So Uncle Wiggily lighted the Jack-o'-lantern and it was real bright,
and soon the old gentleman rabbit was speeding on again. And, all of a
sudden out from the bushes jumped a burglar fox.

"Hold on there!" he cried to Uncle Wiggily. "I want all your money."
And just then he saw the big pumpkin Jack-o'-lantern, with its staring
eyes and big mouth and sharp teeth, looking at him from the seat of the
auto, and the fox was so scared, thinking it was a giant going to catch
him, that he ran off in the woods howling, and he didn't bother Uncle
Wiggily a bit more that night.

Then the old gentleman rabbit drove his auto on toward Sammie's house,
and he was soon there and he told Sammie a funny story and gave him the
Jack-o'-lantern, and the little rabbit boy was soon asleep, and in the
morning he was all better.

So that's what the Jack-o'-lantern did for Uncle Wiggily and Sammie,
and now if you please you must go to bed, and on the page after this,
in case the basket of peaches doesn't fall down the cellar stairs and
break the furnace door all to pieces, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggily
and the lazy duck.




STORY IX

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE LAZY DUCK


The day after Uncle Wiggily had scared the bad burglar fox with the
Jack-o'-lantern, the old rabbit gentleman and Lulu and Alice and Jimmie
Wibblewobble, the ducks, went for a little ride in the automobile.

For it was Saturday, you see, and there was no school. So they went
along quite a distance over the hills and through the woods and fields,
for Uncle Wiggily's auto was a sort of fairy machine and could go
almost anywhere.

Pretty soon they came to a little house beside the road, and in the
front yard was a nice pump, where you could get a drink of water.

"I am very thirsty," said Uncle Wiggily to Jimmie. "I wonder if we
could get a drink here?"

"Oh, yes," said Lulu, as she looked to see if her hair ribbon was on
straight; "a duck family lives here, and they will give you all the
water you want."

Right after that, before Uncle Wiggily could get out of the auto to
pump some water, there came waddling out of the duckhouse a duck boy,
about as big as Jimmie.

"How do you do?" said Uncle Wiggily, politely to this duck boy. "May we
get a drink of water here?"

"Oh--um--er--oo--I--guess--so," said the duck boy slowly, and he
stretched out his wings and stretched out his legs and then he sat down
on a bench in the front yard and nearly went to sleep.

"Why, I wonder what is the matter with him?" asked Uncle Wiggily. "Why
does he act so strangely, and speak so slow?"

"I can tell you!" exclaimed Lulu, and she got down out of the auto and
picked up a stone. "That duck boy is lazy, that's what's the matter
with him. He never even wants to play. Why, at school he hardly ever
knows his lessons."

"Oh, you surprise me!" said the old gentleman rabbit. "A lazy duck boy!
I never heard of such a thing. Pray what is his name?"

"It's Fizzy-Whizzy," said Jimmie, who also knew the boy.

"Why, what a strange name!" exclaimed the rabbit gentleman. "Why do
they call him that?"

"Because he is so fond of fizzy-izzy soda water," said Alice. "Oh,
let's go along, Uncle Wiggily."

"No," said the rabbit gentleman, slowly, "if this is a lazy duck boy he
should be cured. Laziness is worse than the measles or whooping cough,
I think. And as I am very thirsty I want a drink. Then I will think of
some plan to cure this boy duck of being lazy."

So Uncle Wiggily went close up to the boy duck and called out loud,
right in his ear, so as to waken him:

"Will you please get me a cup so I may get a drink of water?"

"Hey? What's--that--you--said?" asked the lazy boy duck, slowly,
stretching out his wings.

Uncle Wiggily told him over again, but that lazy chap just stretched
his legs this time and said:

"Oh--I--am--too--tired--to--get--you--a--cup.
You--had--better--go--in--the--house--and--get--it--for--yourself," and
then he was going to sleep again.

But, all of a sudden, his mother, who worked very hard at washing and
ironing, came to the door and said:

"Oh, dear! If Fizzy-Wizzy hasn't gone to sleep again. Wake up at once,
Fizzy, and get me some wood for the fire! Quick."

"Oh--ma--I am--too--tired," said Fizzy-Wizzy.
"I--will--do--it--to-morrow--um--ah--er--boo--soo!" and he was asleep
once more.

"Oh, I never saw such a lazy boy in all my life!" exclaimed the duck
boy's mother, and she was very much ashamed of him. "I don't know what
to do."

"Do you want me to make him better?" asked Uncle Wiggily.

"Indeed I do, but I am afraid you can't," she said.

"Yes I can," said Uncle Wiggily. "I'll come back here this evening and
I'll cure him. First let me get a drink of water and then I'll think of
a way to do it." So the duck lady herself brought out a cup so Uncle
Wiggily and Lulu and Alice and Jimmie could get a drink from the pump,
and all the while the lazy chap slept on.

"How are you going to cure him, Uncle Wiggily?" asked Jimmie when they
were riding along in the auto once more.

"I will show you," said the old gentleman rabbit. "And you children
must help me, for to be lazy is a dreadful thing."

Well, that night, after dark, Uncle Wiggily took a lantern, and some
matches and some rubber balls and some beans and something else done up
in a package, and he put all these things in his auto. Then he and the
Wibblewobble children got in and they went to the house of the lazy boy
duck.

"Is he in?" asked Uncle Wiggily of the boy's mamma.

"Yes," she said in a whisper.

"Well, when I throw a pebble against the kitchen window tell him to
come out and see who's here," went on the rabbit gentleman. Then he
opened the package and in it were four false faces, one of a fox, one
of a wolf, one of a bear and one was of an alligator. And Uncle Wiggily
put on the alligator false face, gave the bear one to Jimmie, the fox
one to Alice and the wolf one to Lulu.

Then he gave Jimmie a handful of beans and he gave Alice a rubber ball
filled with water to squirt and Lulu the same. They knew what to do
with them. Then Uncle Wiggily built a fire and made some stones quite
warm, not warm enough to burn one, but just warm enough.

These stones he put in front of the lazy duck boy's house and then he
threw a pebble against the window.

"Go and see who is there," said the duck boy's mamma to him.

"I--don't--want--to," the lazy chap was just saying, but he suddenly
became very curious and thought he would just take a peep out. And no
sooner had he opened the door and stepped on the warm stones than he
began to run down the yard, for he was afraid if he stood still he
would be burned.

And then, as he ran, up popped Uncle Wiggily from behind the bushes,
looking like an alligator with the false face on.

"Oh! Oh!" cried the lazy boy and he ran faster than ever.

Then up jumped Jimmie, looking like a bear with the false face on, and
up popped Lulu looking like a wolf and Alice looking like a fox.

"Oh! Oh!" cried the lazy boy, and he ran faster than ever before in his
life.

Then Alice and Lulu squirted water at him from their rubber balls.

"Oh! It's raining! It's raining!" cried the boy duck, and he ran faster
than before.

Then Jimmie threw the beans at him and they rattled all over.

"Oh! It's snowing and hailing!" cried the lazy boy, and he ran faster
than ever. And then Uncle Wiggily threw some hickory nuts at him, and
that lazy duck ran still faster than he had ever run in his life before
and ran back in the house.

"Oh, mother!" he cried, "I've had a terrible time," and he spoke very
fast. "I'll never be lazy again."

"I'm glad of it," she said. "I guess Uncle Wiggily cured you."

And so the old gentleman rabbit had, for the duck boy was always ready
to work after that. Then Lulu and Alice and Jimmie went home in the
auto and went to bed, and that's where you must go soon.

And if the pussy cat doesn't slip in the molasses, and fall down the
cellar steps, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggily helping Jimmie.




STORY X

UNCLE WIGGILY HELPS JIMMIE


Old Percival, who used to be a circus dog, wasn't feeling very well.
Some bad boys had tied a tin can to his tail, and had thrown stones at
him and done other mean things. But Uncle Wiggily had come along and
driven the boys away, and Percival had come home in the automobile of
the old gentleman rabbit, and was given a nice warm place behind the
kitchen stove, where he could lie down.

"But I don't feel a bit good," Percival said to Uncle Wiggily. "I don't
know whether it was the tin can the boys tied to my tail, or the leaves
they stuck on me, or the bone they put in my mouth or the molasses they
used, but I don't feel at all well."

"Perhaps it is the epizootic," said Alice Wibblewobble, the duck girl,
as she untied her green hair ribbon and put on a pink one.

"That may be it," said Percival, and he blinked his two eyes slow and
careful-like, so as not to get any dust in them.

"Perhaps if I made you some dog-biscuit-soup it would make you feel
better," said Mrs. Wibblewobble. "I'll cook some right away."

So she did that and Percival ate it, but still that night he didn't
feel much better, and the only trick he could do for the children was
to stand up on his tail, and make believe he was a soldier. But he
couldn't do that very long, and then he had to crawl back to his bed
behind the stove.

"Poor Percival is getting old," said Mr. Wibblewobble. "He isn't the
lively dog he used to be when he showed Peetie and Jackie Bow Wow how
to do tricks in a circus parade."

"No, indeed," said Uncle Wiggily, and then the old gentleman rabbit
played blind man's bluff with Lulu and Alice and Jimmie Wibblewobble
until it was time to go to bed.

Well, the next day poor old Percival wasn't any better and when the
duck children started for school their mamma told them to stop on their
way home and tell Dr. Possum to come and give Percival some medicine.

"We will," said Jimmie, and just then they saw Uncle Wiggily putting
some gasoline in his automobile.

"Oh, dear! You're not going away, are you, Uncle Wiggily?" asked Lulu
Wibblewobble as she picked up a stone and threw it even better than the
lazy boy duck could have done.

"No," said the old gentleman rabbit, "I am just going for a little ride
to see Grandfather Goosey Gander, but I will be back here when you come
from school. Don't forget about telling Dr. Possum to come and see
Percival."

So they said they wouldn't forget, and then the three duck children
hurried on to school so they wouldn't be late, and Uncle Wiggily
tickled the flinkum-flankum of his auto and away he went whizzing over
the fields and through the woods.

Well, as it happened that day, Dr. Possum wasn't home, so all that
Jimmie and his sisters could do was to leave word for him to come and
see Percival as soon as the doctor got back.

"I'll send him right away, just as soon as he comes in," said Dr.
Possum's wife. "Oh, I am so sorry for poor Percival."

Well, when Lulu and Alice and Jimmie got home from school Dr. Possum
hadn't yet come to the duck house to see the sick dog, who was much
worse. And Uncle Wiggily hadn't come back from his automobile ride,
either.

"Oh, dear!" exclaimed Mrs. Wibblewobble. "I don't know what to do! The
doctor ought to come, and Uncle Wiggily ought to be here. Perhaps Uncle
Wiggily has met with an accident and Dr. Possum had to attend to him
first."

"Oh, I hope not, mamma," said Alice.

"I know what I can do," said Jimmie, the boy duck. "I can hurry back to
Dr. Possum's house to see if he has come back yet. If he has I'll tell
him to please hurry here."

"I think that would be a good idea," spoke Mrs. Wibblewobble. "Go
quickly, Jimmie, and here is a molasses cookie to eat on your way.
Hurry back and bring the doctor with you if you can."

So Jimmie said he would, and off he started, eating the molasses cookie
that his mamma had baked. He was thinking how good it was, and wishing
it was larger when, all at once, he stepped on a sharp stone and hurt
his foot so that he couldn't walk.

"Oh, dear!" cried Jimmie. "What shall I do? I can't go get Dr. Possum
for Percival now."

Well, he was in great pain, and he was just wondering how he could send
word to the doctor when, all at once, he saw a pony-horse in the field
near by.

"The very thing!" exclaimed Jimmie. "That is Munchie Trot, the pony
boy, and he'll let me ride to the doctor on his back."

So Jimmie took a stick to use as a cane, and he managed to get right
close up beside the pony-horse, who was eating grass.

"I'll surprise him," thought Jimmie. "I'll fly up on his back before he
sees me."

So with his strong wings he flew up on the pony's back and he cried out:

"Surprise on you, Munchie! Please gallop and trot with me to Dr.
Possum's so he can make Percival well."

And then a funny thing happened. All at once Jimmie noticed that he was
on the back of a strange pony. It wasn't Munchie Trot at all! Jimmie
had made a mistake. Think of that! And the worst of it was that when he
flew so suddenly up on the pony's back Jimmie frightened him, and the
next instant the pony jumped over the fence and began running down the
road as fast as he could.

"Oh! Stop! Stop!" cried Jimmie. "I'll fall off!" The duck boy had to
take hold of the pony's mane in his yellow bill, and he had to hold on
so he wouldn't fall off. Faster and faster ran the pony, trying to get
away from what was on his back, for he hadn't seen Jimmie fly up, and
he didn't know what it was. Maybe he thought it was a burglar fox, but
I'm not sure.

Anyhow the pony went faster and faster, and though Jimmie cried as hard
as he could for him to stop the pony wouldn't do it. Jimmie was almost
falling off, and he thought surely he would be hurt, when, all of a
sudden, down the road, came Uncle Wiggily in his automobile. He saw
what was the matter.

"Hold on, Jimmie!" cried the old gentleman rabbit. "Hold on, and I'll
be up to you in a minute. Then you can fly into my auto and be safe."

Well, the pony was going fast, but the auto went faster, and it was
soon up beside the little galloping horsie.

"Now jump, Jimmie!" called Uncle Wiggily, and the boy duck did so,
landing safely in the auto, and he wasn't hurt a bit.

Then the pony galloped on until he looked back and saw it had only been
a duck on his back and then he was ashamed for having run away, and he
stopped and said he was sorry, so Jimmie forgave him.

"Quick, we must go for Dr. Possum for Old Dog Percival," said Jimmie,
and he told Uncle Wiggily how the doctor hadn't yet come. Then Uncle
Wiggily told how he accidentally got a hole in one of his big rubber
tires or he would have been home sooner.

"But it's a good thing I happened to come along to help you," he said
to Jimmie, and Jimmie thought so too. Then they went for Dr. Possum,
who had just come home, and they took him to Percival in the auto, and
Dr. Possum soon made Percival all well, and I'm glad of it. Then the
doctor cured Jimmie's sore foot, and everybody was happy, and I hope
you are.

And next, if the dried leaves don't blow in my window and scare the
wallpaper so that it falls off, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggily
helping Alice.




STORY XI

UNCLE WIGGILY HELPS ALICE.


One day the postman bird flew down out of the sky and stopped in
front of the Wibblewobble duck house. Uncle Wiggily Longears, the old
gentleman rabbit, was out in front, cleaning some mud off his auto, for
he had run it very fast into a puddle of water the day he saved Jimmie
off the pony's back.

"Does anybody named Alice Wibblewobble live here?" asked the postman
bird as he looked in his bag of letters.

"Yes, Alice lives here," said Uncle Wiggily.

"And does Lulu Wibblewobble?"

"Yes, of course."

"And Jimmie, too?"

"Certainly," said the old gentleman rabbit.

"Then this is the right house," said the postman bird as he blew his
whistle, like a canary, "and here is a letter for each of them."

So he handed Uncle Wiggily three letters and then he flew up into the
air again, as fast as he could go, to deliver the rest of the mail.

"Hum! I wonder who can be writing to Lulu and Alice and Jimmie?" said
Uncle Wiggily, as he looked at the letters. "Well, I'll take them in
the house. They look to me like party invitations; and I wonder why
I didn't get one? But I suppose the young folks don't want an old
rheumatic uncle around any more. Ah, well, I'm getting old--getting
old," and he went slowly into the house, feeling a bit sad.

"Here are some letters for you, children," he called to Lulu and Alice
and Jimmie. "The bird postman just brought them."

"Oh, fine!" cried the children, and they opened them all at once with
their strong yellow bills.

"Goodie!" cried Lulu as she read hers. "Jennie Chipmunk is going to
have a party, and I'm invited."

"So am I," cried Alice.

"And I," added Jimmie.

"I thought they were party invitations," said Uncle Wiggily, sort of
sad and thoughtful-like. "When is it?"

"To-night," said Lulu.

"Then we must hurry and get ready," said Alice. "I must iron out some
of my hair ribbons so they will be nice and fresh."

"Oh, that's just like you girls," cried Jimmie. "You have to primp and
fuss. I can be ready in no time, just by washing my face."

"Oh!" cried Lulu and Alice together. "Make him put on a clean collar,
anyhow, mamma."

"Yes, I'll do that," agreed Jimmie.

Well, pretty soon they were all getting ready to go to the party, and
Uncle Wiggily went back to finish cleaning his auto and he was wishing
he could go. But you just wait and see what happens.

Pretty soon it became night and then it was time for the party. Lulu
and Jimmie were all ready, but it took Alice such a long time to get
her hair fixed the way she wanted it, and to get just the kind of hair
ribbon that suited her, that she wasn't ready. You see, she had so many
kinds of hair ribbons and she kept them all in a box, and really she
didn't know just which one to take. First she picked out a red one,
and she didn't like that, and then she picked out a blue one, and she
didn't like that, and then she picked up a pink one, and then a green,
and then a brown, and finally a skilligimink colored one, but none
suited her.

"Hurry, Alice," called Lulu, "or you'll be late."

"Oh, you can go on ahead and I'll catch up to you and Jimmie," said
Alice, trying another hair ribbon.

"All right," they answered, and they started off. Mr. and Mrs.
Wibblewobble had gone across the street to pay a little visit to Mr.
and Mrs. Duckling, and so Uncle Wiggily and Alice were all alone in the
house.

"You had better hurry, Alice," said the old gentleman rabbit as he was
reading the evening paper.

"Oh, I don't know what to do!" she cried. "I can't decide which hair
ribbon to wear."

"Wear them all," called Uncle Wiggily with a laugh, but, of course,
Alice couldn't do that, and she was in despair, which means that she
didn't know what to do.

She laid all the ribbons back in the box, and she was just going to
shut her eyes, and pick out the first one she could reach, and wear
that whether she liked it or not, for she didn't want to be late to the
party. And then, all of a sudden, in through the open window of her
room the old skillery-scalery alligator put his long nose and he cried:

"Hair ribbons! I must have hair ribbons! Give me hair ribbons!"

And then what do you think he did? Why, he grabbed up the whole
box full of Alice's lovely hair ribbons, and before she could say
"scootum-scattum," if she had wanted to, that skillery-scalery
alligator ran away with them in his mouth, taking his double-jointed
tail with him.

"Oh!" cried Alice. "Oh! Oh!" and she almost lost her breath, she was so
surprised.

"What is it?" cried Uncle Wiggily, running up to her room.

"The alligator! He has taken my hair ribbons. Quick, run after him,
dear Uncle Wiggily!"

"I will!" exclaimed the brave old gentleman rabbit and out of the house
he hurried, but the 'gator with the double-jointed tail had completely
gone, and the rabbit gentleman couldn't catch him.

"Oh, what ever shall I do?" cried Alice, when Uncle Wiggily came back.
"I have no hair ribbon, and I can't go to the party!"

Well, Uncle Wiggily thought for a moment. He didn't tell Alice that she
should have hurried more and worn a pink ribbon, and then the accident
wouldn't have happened. No, he didn't say anything like that; but he
said:

"I can help you, Alice. Down in the yard is some long grass, green,
with white stripes in it. They call it ribbon grass. I will get some
for a hair ribbon for you."

"Oh, thank you, so much!" said Alice. So Uncle Wiggily quickly went
down, pulled some of the ribbon grass and helped Alice tie it in her
feathers. And she looked too cute for anything, really she did.

"Now, quick, run and catch up to Jimmie and Lulu, and go to the party
and have a good time," said Uncle Wiggily, and Alice did. And what do
you think? A little while after that up to the duck-house drove Sammie
Littletail in a pony cart.

"Oh, Uncle Wiggily!" cried Sammie, "Jennie Chipmunk was so flustrated
about her party that she forgot to send you an invitation. But she
wants you very much, so I've come to take you to it. Come along with
me!"

Then Uncle Wiggily was very glad, for he liked parties as much as you
do, and he jumped into the cart with Sammie and they went to the party
and had a lovely time. And the next day Uncle Wiggily went out in his
auto, and he made the alligator give back all of Alice's hair ribbons,
and none of them was lost or soiled the least bit, I'm glad to say.

Now, no more at present, if you please, but if the picture book doesn't
read about the sandman and go to sleep on the front porch, I'll tell
you next about Uncle Wiggily and the doll doctor.




STORY XII

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE DOLL DOCTOR


"Now, I wonder where I will go to-day?" said Uncle Wiggily, the old
gentleman rabbit to himself, as he went along, in his automobile,
turning around the corner by an old black stump-house, where lived a
nice owl school teacher lady. "I wonder where I had better go? I have
it! I'll call on Grandfather Goosey Gander and play a game of Scotch
checkers!" and off he went.

It was generally that way with Uncle Wiggily. He would start off
pretending he had no place in particular to go, but he would generally
end up at Grandpa Goosey's house.

There the old rabbit gentleman and the old duck gentleman would sit and
play Scotch checkers and eat molasses cookies with cabbage seeds on
top, and they would talk of the days when they were young, and could
play ball and go skating, and do all of those things.

But this time Uncle Wiggily never got to Grandfather Goosey's house. As
he was going along in the woods, all of a sudden he came to a little
house that stood under a Christmas tree, and on this house was a sign
reading:

DR. MONKEY DOODLE. SICK DOLLS MADE WELL.

"Ha! That is rather strange!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily. "I never knew
there was a doll doctor here. He must have moved in only lately. I must
look into this!"

So the rabbit gentleman went up to the little house, and, as he came
nearer he heard some one inside exclaiming:

"Oh, I'll never get through to-day, I know I won't! Oh, the trouble I'm
in! Oh, if I only had some one to help me!"

"My! What is that!" cried Uncle Wiggily, stopping short. "Perhaps I am
making a mistake. That may be a trap! No, it doesn't look like a trap,"
he went on, as he peered all about the little house and saw nothing
dangerous.

Then the voice cried again:

"Oh, I am in such trouble! Will no one help me?"

[Illustration]

Now Uncle Wiggily was always on the lookout to help his animal friends,
but he did not know who this one could be.

"Still," said the rabbit gentleman to himself, "he is in trouble. Maybe
a mosquito has bitten him. I'm going to see."

So Uncle Wiggily marched bravely up to the little house under the
Christmas tree, and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" cried a voice. "But if you're a little animal girl, with
a sick doll, or one that needs mending, you might as well go away
and come back again. I'm head-over heels in work, and I'll never get
through. In fact I can't work at all. Oh, such trouble as I am in!"

"Well, maybe I can help you," said Uncle Wiggily. "At any rate I have
no doll that needs mending."

So into the little house he went, and what a queer sight he saw! There
was Dr. Monkey Doodle, sitting on the floor of his shop, and scattered
all about him were dolls--dolls--dolls!

All sorts of dolls--but not a good, whole, well doll in the lot. Some
dolls had lost their wigs, some had swallowed their eyes, others had
lost a leg, or both arms, or a foot.

One poor doll had lost all her sawdust, and she was as flat as a
pancake. Another had dropped one of her shoe button eyes, and a new eye
needed to be sewed in. One doll had stiff joints, which needed oiling,
while another, who used to talk in a little phonograph voice, had
caught such a cold that she could not speak or even whisper.

"My, what sort of a place is this?" asked Uncle Wiggily, in surprise.

"It is the doll hospital," said Dr. Monkey Doodle. "Think of it! All
these dolls to fix before night, and I can't touch a one of them!"

"Why must all the dolls be fixed to-night?" the rabbit gentleman wanted
to know.

"Because they are going to a party," explained Dr. Monkey Doodle.
"Susie Littletail, the rabbit is giving a party for all the little
animal girls, and every one is going to bring her doll. But all the
dolls were ill, or else were broken, and the animal children brought
them all to me at once, so that I am fairly overwhelmed with work, if
you will kindly permit me to say so," remarked the monkey doctor.

"Of course, I'll let you say so," said Uncle Wiggily. "But, if you will
kindly pardon me, why don't you get up and work, instead of sitting in
the middle of the floor, feeling sorry for yourself?"

"True! Why do I not?" asked the monkey doctor. "Well, to be perfectly
plain, I am stuck here so fast that I can't move. One of the dolls, I
think it was Cora Ann Multiplicationtable, upset the pot of glue on
the floor. I came in hurriedly, and, not seeing the puddle of glue, I
slipped in it. I fell down, I sat right in the glue, and now I am stuck
so fast that I can't get up.

"So you see that's why I can't work on the broken dolls. I can't move!
And oh, what a time there'll be when all those animal girls come for
their dolls and find they're not done. Oh, what a time I'll have!"

And the monkey doctor tried to pull himself up from the glue on the
floor, but he could not--he was stuck fast.

"Oh, dear!" he cried.

"Now don't worry!" spoke Uncle Wiggily kindly. "I think I can help you."

"Oh, can you!" cried Dr. Monkey Doodle. "And will you?"

"I certainly will," said Uncle Wiggily, tying his ears in a bowknot so
they would not get tangled in the glue.

"But how can you help me?" asked the monkey doctor.

"In the first place," went on the rabbit gentleman. "I will pour
some warm water all around you on the glue. That will soften it, and
by-and-by you can get up. And while we are waiting for that you shall
tell me how to cure the sick dolls and how to mend the broken ones and
I'll do the best I can."

"Fine!" cried Dr. Monkey Doodle, feeling happier now.

So Uncle Wiggily poured some warm water on the glue that held the poor
monkey fast, taking care not to have the water too hot. Then Uncle
Wiggily said:

"Now, we'll begin on the sick dolls. Who's first?"

"Take Sallie Jane Ticklefeather," said the monkey. "She needs some
mucilage pills to keep her hair from sticking up so straight. She
belongs to a little girl named Rosalind."

So Uncle Wiggily gave Sallie Jane Ticklefeather some mucilage pills.
Then he gave another doll some sawdust tea and a third one some
shoe-button pudding--this was the doll who only had one eye--and soon
she was all cured and had two eyes.

And then such a busy time as Uncle Wiggily had! He hopped about that
little hospital, sewing arms and legs and feet on the dolls that had
lost theirs. He oiled up all the stiff joints with olive oil, and one
doll, whose eyes had fallen back in her head, Uncle Wiggily fixed as
nicely as you please. Only by mistake he got in one brown eye and one
blue one, but that didn't matter much. In fact, it made the doll all
the more stylish.

"Oh, but there are a lot more dolls to fix!" cried the monkey doctor.

"Never mind," said Uncle Wiggily. "You will soon be loose from the
glue, and you can help me!"

"Oh, I wish I were loose now!" cried the monkey.

He gave himself a tremendous tug and a pull, Uncle Wiggily helping him,
and up he came. Then how he flew about that hospital, fixing the dolls
ready for the party.

"Hark!" suddenly called Uncle Wiggily.

"It's the girl animals coming for their dolls," said the monkey. "Oh,
work fast! Work fast!"

Outside the doll hospital Susie Littletail, the rabbit girl, and Alice
and Lulu Wibblewobble, the duck girls, and all their friends were
calling:

"Are our dolls mended? Are they ready for us?"

"Not yet, but soon," answered Uncle Wiggily, and then he and the monkey
worked so fast! Dolls that had lost their heads had new ones put on.
The doll that had spilled all her sawdust was filled up again, plump
and fat. One boy soldier doll, who had lost his gun was given a new
one, and a sword also. And the phonograph doll was fixed so that she
could sing as well as talk.

"But it is almost time for the party!" cried Susie Littletail.

"Just a minute!" called Uncle Wiggily.

"There is one more doll to fix." Then he quickly painted some red
cheeks on a poor little pale doll, who had had the measles, and in a
moment she was as bright and rosy again as a red apple. Then all the
dolls were fixed, and the girl animals took them to a party and had a
fine time.

"Hurray for Uncle Wiggily!" cried Susie Littletail, and all the others
said the same thing.

"He certainly was kind to me," spoke Dr. Monkey Doodle, as he cleaned
the glue up off the floor. And that's all there is to this story, but
in the next one, if the goldfish doesn't bite a hole in his globe and
let all the molasses run over the tablecloth, I'll tell you about Uncle
Wiggily and the flowers.




STORY XIII

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE FLOWERS


One Saturday, when there was no school, Charley Chick was playing
soldier in the chicken coop, and beating the drum that Uncle Wiggily
had given him, for Christmas.

And Arabella, who was Charley's sister, was playing with her talking
doll. The little chicken girl was teaching the doll to recite that
piece about "Once a trap was baited, with a piece of cheese." But the
doll couldn't seem to get the verses right. She would say it something
like this:

     "Once a trap was baited,
       With a twinkling star.
     'Twas Christmas eve and Santa Claus
       Was coming from afar.

     "A little drop of water,
       Was in Jack Horner's pie
     When Mary lost her little lamb
       Old Mother Goose did cry."

"Oh, you'll never get that right!" exclaimed Arabella. "Uncle Wiggily,
can't you make my talking doll learn to speak pieces right? She gets
them all mixed up."

"I'll try," said the old gentleman rabbit, and he was just telling the
doll how to recite a poem about little monkey-jack upon a stick of
candy, and every time he took a bite it tasted fine and dandy. Well,
the doll had learned one verse, when, all at once, there came a knock
on the door, and there stood a telegraph messenger boy, with a telegram
for Uncle Wiggily.

"Oh, something has happened!" exclaimed Mrs. Chick. "I am so nervous
whenever telegrams come."

"Wait until I read it," said the old gentleman rabbit, and when he had
read it he said: "It is from Aunt Lettie, the old lady goat. She has
the epizootic very badly, from having eaten some bill-board pictures
of a snowstorm, which made her catch cold, and she wants to know if
I can't come over to see her, and tell Dr. Possum to bring her some
medicine. Of course I will. I'll start off at once."

So Uncle Wiggily started off, in his automobile, and on his way to see
the old lady goat he stopped at the doctor's house, and Dr. Possum
promised to come as soon as he could, and cure the old lady goat.

"Then I'll go on ahead," spoke Uncle Wiggily, "and tell her you are
coming." So he hurried on, with his long ears flapping to and fro,
and he hadn't gone very far before he came to a shop where a man had
flowers to sell--roses and violets and pinks and all lovely blossoms
like that.

"The very thing!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily, as he saw the pretty posies.
"Sick persons like flowers, and I'll take some to Aunt Lettie. They may
cheer her up." So he bought a large and kept on toward the old lady
goat's house.

Well, he hadn't gone very far before, all at once, as he was going
around the corner by the prickly briar bush, that had berries on it in
the summer time, all at once, I say, out jumped a big black bear.

At first Uncle Wiggily thought it was a good bear, and he stopped the
auto to shake paws with him. But, all at once, he saw that it was a bad
bear, whom he had never seen before.

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily, surprised-like. "I--I guess I have
made a mistake. I don't know you. I beg your pardon."

"You don't need to do that," growled the bear. "You'll soon know me
well enough. You and I are going to be very well acquainted soon. You
come with me," and with that he grabbed hold of the old gentleman
rabbit and marched off with him, pulling him right out of the auto.

"Where are you taking me?" asked Uncle Wiggily, trying to be brave, and
not shiver or shake.

"To my den," answered the bear in a grillery-growlery voice. "I haven't
had my Christmas or New Year's dinner yet, and here it is the middle of
January. Bur-r-r-r-r-r-r! Wow!"

"Oh, what a savage bear," exclaimed Uncle Wiggily. "What makes you so
cross?"

"Just look at my feet and you'll see why," answered the bear, and Uncle
Wiggily looked, and as true as I'm telling you, there were a whole lot
of walnut shells fast on the bear's feet. "That's enough to make any
one cross," said the bear. "I stepped in these shells that some one
threw out of their window after Christmas, and they stuck on so tight
that I can't get them off. Talk about corns! These are worse than any
corns. I have to walk on my tiptoes all the while, and I'm so cross
that I could eat a hot cross bun and never know it. Bur-r-r-r-r! Wow!
Woof!"

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily. "Then I guess it's all up with me,"
and he felt quite sad-like.

"You may well say that!" growled the bear. "Come along!" and he almost
pulled Uncle Wiggily head over paws. "What have you in that paper?"
asked the bear, as he saw the bag of flowers in Uncle Wiggily's paw.

"Some blossoms for poor sick Aunt Lettie!" answered the rabbit
gentleman. "Poor, sick Aunt Lettie----"

"Bur-r-r-r-r-r! Wow! Woof! Bah! Don't talk to me about sick goats!"
growled the bear. "I'm sicker than any goat of these walnut shells on
my feet. Bur-r-r-r-r! Wow! Woof!"

And then Uncle Wiggily thought of something. Gently opening the paper
he took out one nice, big, sweet-smelling rose and handed it to the
bear, saying nothing.

"Bur-r-r-r-r! Wow! What's this?" growled the bear, and before he knew
what he was doing he had taken the rose in his big paws. And then,
before he knew, the next thing, he was smelling of it.

And, as he smelled the sweet perfume, he seemed to think he was in the
summer fields, all covered with flowers, and as he looked at the rose
it seemed to remind him of the time when he was a little bear, and
wasn't bad, and didn't say such things as "Bur-r-r-r-r!" "Wow!" And
then once more he smelled of the perfume in the flower, and he seemed
to forget the pain of the walnut shells on his feet.

"Oh, Uncle Wiggily!" exclaimed the bear, and tears came into his
blinkery-inkery eyes, and rolled down his black nose. "I'm sorry I was
bad to you. This flower is so lovely that it makes me want to be good.
Run along, now, before I change my mind and get bad again."

"First let me help you take those walnut shells off your paws," said
the rabbit gentleman, and he did so, prying them off with a stick, and
then the bear felt ever so much better and he hurried to his den, still
smelling the beautiful rose. So you see flowers are sometimes good,
even for bears.

Then Uncle Wiggily hurried on to Aunt Lettie's house with the rest of
the bouquet, and when she saw it she was quite some better, and when
Dr. Possum gave her some medicine she was all better, and she thought
Uncle Wiggily was very brave to do as he had done to the bear.

And on the next page, in case the eggbeater doesn't hit the rolling pin
and make the potato masher fall down in the ice cream cone, I'll tell
you about Uncle Wiggily and Susie's doll.




STORY XIV

UNCLE WIGGILY AND SUSIE'S DOLL


"Well, I see you are going out for another ride in your auto," remarked
Mrs. Bow Wow, the puppy dog lady, to Uncle Wiggily, one morning, after
Peetie and Jackie had gone to school. "Where are you bound for now?"

"Oh, no place in particular," he said. "I just thought I would take a
ride for my health."

You see the rabbit gentleman had come to pay the dog family a visit.

"I should think you'd stay in when it snows," went on the doggie lady.
"You seem always to be out in a snowstorm," for it was snowing quite
hard just then.

"I love the snow," said the old gentleman rabbit. "I like cold weather,
for then my thick fur coat keeps me much warmer than in the summer
time. And I like the snow--I like to see it come down, and feel it blow
in my face and make my auto go through the drifts."

"Well, be careful you don't get stuck in any drifts and freeze fast,"
said Mrs. Bow Wow, as she began washing the breakfast dishes.

"I'll try not to," promised Uncle Wiggily, and then he put some oil
on his auto, and gave it a drink of warm water (for autos get thirsty
sometimes), and away the old gentleman rabbit rode through the
snowstorm.

"I guess I'll go call on Aunt Lettie, the old lady goat, to-day," he
thought as he went through a big snowdrift, scattering the snow on
both sides like an electric-car snow plow. "I haven't seen Aunt Lettie
in some time, and she may be ill again." For this was some time after
Uncle Wiggily had brought her the flowers.

Well, pretty soon he was at the old lady goat's house, and, surely
enough she had been ill again. She had eaten some red paper, off the
outside of a tomato can, one day right after Christmas, and the paper
didn't have the right kind of stickumpaste on it, so Aunt Lettie was
taken ill on that account.

"But I'm much better now," she said to Uncle Wiggily, "and I'm real
glad you called. Come in and I'll give you a hot cup of old newspaper
tea."

"Um, I don't know as I care for that," said the old gentleman rabbit,
making his nose twinkle like a star on a frosty night.

"Oh, I'm surprised to hear you say that," spoke Aunt Lettie,
sorrowful-like. "Newspaper tea is very good, especially with
cream-stickum-mucilage in it. But never mind, I'll give you some carrot
tea," and she did, and she and Uncle Wiggily sat and talked about old
times, and the fun Nannie and Billie Goat used to have, until it was
time for the old gentleman rabbit to go back home.

School was out as he went along in his auto. He could tell that because
he met so many of the animal children. And he gave Peetie and Jackie
Bow Wow and Johnnie and Billie Bushtail a ride toward home. But before
they got there, all of a sudden, as the four animal children were in
the auto, and Uncle Wiggily was making it go through a snowdrift, all
of a sudden, I say the old gentleman rabbit turned around a corner, and
there was Susie Littletail, the little rabbit girl, standing in front
of a big heap of snow.

And she was crying very hard, her tears falling down, and making little
holes in the snow, and she was poking into the drift with a long stick.

"Why, Susie!" asked Uncle Wiggily, "whatever is the matter?"

"Oh, my doll! My lovely, big, new Christmas doll!" cried Susie. "I had
her to school with me, for we are learning to sew in our class, and I
was making my dollie a new dress, and--and--" and then poor Susie cried
so hard that she couldn't talk.

"Don't tell me some one took your doll away from you!" exclaimed Uncle
Wiggily.

"If they did I'll go after them and get it back for you!" cried Jackie
Bow Wow.

"So will I!" said Peetie and Billie and Johnnie.

"No, it isn't that," spoke the little rabbit girl. "But as I was
walking along, with my dollie in my arms, all of a sudden she slipped
out, fell into this big snowbank, and I can't find her! She's all
covered up. Boo hoo! Hoo boo!"

"Oh, don't take on so," said Uncle Wiggily kindly. "We will all help
you hunt for your dollie; won't we, boys?"

"Sure!" cried Peetie and Jackie and Billie and Johnnie.

So they all got sticks and poked in the snow bank, Uncle Wiggily poking
harder than anybody, but it was of no use. They couldn't seem to find
that lost doll.

"She must be very deep under the snow!" said Uncle Wiggily.

"Oh, I'll never see her again!" cried Susie. "My big, beautiful
Christmas doll. Boo-hoo! Hoo-boo!"

"You can get her when the snow melts," spoke Peetie Bow Wow, as he
scratched away at the drift with his paws.

"Yes, but then the wax will be all melted off her face, and she won't
look like anything," murmured Susie, sad-like.

"Wait; I have a plan," said Uncle Wiggily. "There is a fan, like an
electric one, in the front part of my auto to keep the water cool. I'll
make that fan blow the snow away and we'll get your doll."

So he tried that, making the fan whizz around like a boy's top, but,
though it blew some snow away, the doll couldn't be found.

"Oh, I'll never see my big, beautiful doll again!" cried Susie.

"Oh, whatever is the matter?" asked a voice, and, turning around, they
all saw the big, black, woolly bear standing there. At first the animal
children were frightened until Uncle Wiggily said:

"Oh, that bear won't hurt us. I once helped him get some walnut shells
off his paws, so he is a friend of mine."

"Of course I am," said the bear. "What is the trouble?" Then they told
him about Susie's doll being under the drift, and the bear went on:
"Don't worry about that. My paws are just made for digging in the snow.
I'll have that doll for you in a jiffy, which is very quick." So with
his paws he began digging in the snow.

My! how he did make the snow fly, and he blew it away with his strong
breath. Faster and faster flew the snow, and in about a minute it was
all scraped away, and there was Susie's doll safe and sound. And she
was sleeping with her eyes shut.

"Oh, you darling!" Susie cried, clasping the doll in her arms.

"Did you mean me?" asked the bear, laughing.

"Yes, I guess I did!" said Susie, also laughing, and she gave the bear
a nice little kiss on the end of his black nose.

Then everybody was happy and the bear went back to his den and Uncle
Wiggily took the children and the doll home, and that's all I can tell
you now, if you please.

But, if the rocking horse doesn't run away and upset the milk pitcher
down in the salt cellar and scare the furnace so that it goes out, I'll
tell you in the story after this one, about Uncle Wiggily on roller
skates.




STORY XV

UNCLE WIGGILY ON ROLLER SKATES


"Well, where are you going this morning?" asked Jimmie Wibblewobble,
the duck boy, as he looked out of the front door of his house, and saw
Uncle Wiggily, the old gentleman rabbit, putting some gasoline in his
automobile.

"Oh, I am going to take a little ride out in the country," said Uncle
Wiggily. "I am going to see if I can find an adventure. Nothing has
happened since we found Susie's doll. I must have excitement. It keeps
me from thinking about my rheumatism. So I am going to look for an
adventure, Jimmie."

"I wish I could come," said the little duck boy.

"I wish you could too," said his uncle. "But you must go to school.
Some Saturday I'll take you with me, and we may find an adventure for
each of us."

"And for us girls, too?" asked Lulu and Alice as they came out,
all ready to go to school. Alice had just finished tying her
sky-yellow-green hair ribbon into two lovely bow knots.

"Yes, for you duck girls, too," said Uncle Wiggily. "But I will be back
here when you come from school, and if anything happens to me I'll tell
you all about it."

So he kept on putting gasoline in his automobile until he had the
tinkerum-tankerum full, and then he tickled the hickory-dickory-dock
with a mucilage brush, and he was all ready to start off and look for
an adventure.

So Lulu and Alice and Jimmie went on to school, and Uncle Wiggily rode
along over the fields and through the woods and up hill and down hill.

Pretty soon, as he was riding along, he heard a funny little noise
in the bushes. It was a sad, little, squeaking sort of noise and at
first the old gentleman rabbit thought it was made by something on his
automobile that needed oiling. Then he looked over the side and there,
sitting under an old cabbage leaf, was a little mousie girl, and it was
she who was crying.

"Oh, ho!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily, "is that you, Squeaky-eaky?" for he
thought it might be the little cousin-mouse who lived with Jollie and
Jillie Longtail, as I have told you in other stories.

"No, I am not Squeaky-eaky," said the little mouse girl, "but I am
cold and hungry and I don't know what to do or where to go. Oh, dear!
Boo-hoo!"

"Never mind," said Uncle Wiggily kindly. "I will take you in my auto,
and I'll bring you to the house where the Longtail children live, and
they'll take care of you."

"Oh, goody!" cried the little girl mouse. "Thank you so much. Now I am
happy." So Uncle Wiggily took her in the nice, warm automobile.

Then he twisted the noodleum-noddleum until it sneezed, and away the
auto went through the woods again. And, all of a sudden, just as Uncle
Wiggily came to a big black stump, out jumped the burglar bear with
roller skates on his paws.

"Hold on there!" the bear cried to the old gentleman rabbit, and he
poked a stick in the auto wheels, so they couldn't go around any more.
"Hold on, if you please, Mr. Rabbit. I want you."

"What for?" asked Uncle Wiggily.

"I want you to come to supper," said the burglar bear.

"Your supper or my supper?" asked Uncle Wiggily, politely.

"My supper, of course," said the burglar bear. "I am going to have
rabbit pot-pie to-night, and you are going to be both the rabbit and
the pie. Come, now, get out of that auto. I want to ride in it before I
bite you."

Well, of course, Uncle Wiggily felt pretty badly, but there was no help
for it. He had to get out, and then the burglar bear, taking off his
roller skates, got up into the automobile.

"Oh, what nice soft cushions!" exclaimed the bear as he sank down on
them. Then he took hold of the turnip steering wheel in his claws and
twisted it. "I shall have lots of fun riding in this auto, after I
gobble you up," said the bear, looking at the rabbit with his blinky
eyes. "I must learn to run it. I think I'll take a little ride before I
have my supper. But don't you dare run away, for I can catch you."

Then, to make sure Uncle Wiggily couldn't get away, the bear took
the old rabbit gentleman's crutch away from him and Uncle Wiggily's
rheumatism was so severe, which means painful, that he couldn't walk a
step without his crutch. So there was no use for him to try to run away.

[Illustration]

Well, the bear knew how to run the auto, it seems, and he started to
take a little ride in it. Uncle Wiggily felt pretty sad because he was
going to be gobbled up and lose his auto at the same time.

All at once, when the bear in the auto was some distance off in the
woods, Uncle Wiggily heard a little voice speaking to him.

"Hey, Uncle Wiggily," the voice said, "I know how you can get the best
of that bear!"

"How?" asked Uncle Wiggily, eagerly.

"Here are his roller skates," said the voice, and it was the little
mousie girl who was speaking. She had quietly jumped out of the auto.
"Put on his roller skates," said the mousie, "and skate down the hill
until you see a policeman dog. Then tell the policeman dog to come and
arrest the bear. He'll do it, and then you'll get your auto back. You
can go on roller skates even if you have rheumatism, can't you?"

"I guess so," said the rabbit. "I'll try." So he put on the skates
while the burglar bear was making the auto go around in a circle in the
woods, and that bear was having a good time. All at once Uncle Wiggily
skated away. First he went slowly, and then he went faster and faster
until he was just whizzing along. And then, at the foot of the hill, he
found the policeman dog.

"Oh, please come and arrest the burglar bear for me?" begged Uncle
Wiggily.

"To be sure I will," said the policeman dog. So he put on his
roller skates, and skated back with Uncle Wiggily to where the bear
was still in the auto. The policeman dog hid behind a stump. The bear
stopped the auto in front of Uncle Wiggily and got out.

"Well," said the burglar bear, smacking his lips, "I guess it's supper
time now. I'm going to eat you. Come on and be my pot-pie!" And he made
a grab for the old gentleman rabbit.

"Oh, you will; will you?" suddenly cried the policeman dog, drawing
his club, and jumping from behind the stump. "Well, I guess you won't
eat my good friend, Uncle Wiggily. I guess not!" and with that the
policeman dog tickled the bear so on his nose that he sneezed, and
ran off through the woods taking his stubby little tail with him, but
leaving behind his roller skates.

"Oh, I'm ever so much obliged to you, Policeman Dog," said the old
gentleman rabbit, as he took off the bear's skates. "You saved my life.
I'll take these skates home to Jimmie. They will fit him when he grows
bigger."

"That is a good idea," said the dog, "and if I ever catch that bear
again I will put him in the beehive jail and make him crack hickory
nuts with his teeth."

Then Uncle Wiggily went home, and took the little mousie girl with him,
and he told the duck children about his adventure with the bear, just
as I have told you. So now it's bedtime, if you please, and I can't
tell you any more.

But if the man who cleans our yard doesn't take my overcoat for an ash
can and put the dried leaves in it, I'll tell you next about Uncle
Wiggily and the clothes wringer.




STORY XVI

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE CLOTHES WRINGER


One day Jackie and Peetie Bow Wow, the little puppy dog boys, came
running over to Uncle Wiggily's hollow stump-house. It was after
school, from which they had just come, and they rushed up the front
steps, barking like anything, and calling out:

"Where's Uncle Wiggily? Where is he?"

"We want to see him in a hurry!" barked Peetie.

"Yes, immediately," went on Jackie. He had heard the teacher that day
in school use the word, immediately, to tell a bad bumble bee to take
his seat and stop trying to sting Lulu Wibblewobble. Immediately means
right off quick, without waiting, you know.

"Hoity-toity!" cried Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat housekeeper.
"What is the trouble?"

"We must see Uncle Wiggily immediately!" barked Peetie again, trying
to stand on one ear. But he could not make it stiff enough, so he fell
down, and bumped into Jackie, and they both tumbled down the steps,
making a great racket.

"There, there! You must be more quiet," cautioned Nurse Jane. "Uncle
Wiggily just came back from his auto ride for his health, and is taking
a nap. You must not wake him up. What do you want to see him about that
is so important?"

"Oh, we'll wait until he wakes up," said Jackie, as he sat down on the
porch.

"Ha! Who wants me?" suddenly exclaimed a voice a little later, and out
came Uncle Wiggily himself.

"We do!" cried Jackie. "Oh, Uncle Wiggily!"

"We're going to work!" added Peetie, unable to keep still any longer.

"What! You don't mean to say you're going to leave school and go to
work?" asked Uncle Wiggily.

"No, we're not going to leave school," exclaimed Peetie. "We are going
to work after school. Jackie is going to deliver newspapers."

"And I'm going to get ten cents a week for it," said Jackie proudly,
but not too proud.

"And I'm going to help at the clothes wringer for the circus elephant,"
exclaimed Peetie.

"Help at the wringer for the elephant!" cried Uncle Wiggily. "What does
that mean? You startle and puzzle me."

"Why, you know the circus elephant has to dress up like a clown," went
on Peetie. "And he plays a drum and a handorgan, and he fires off a
cannon in the sawdust ring. And he does a lot of things like that.
After a while his white clown suit gets all dirty and he has to wash
out his clothes. Then he has to squeeze them in a wringer to get as
much of the water out as he can. Then he hangs them up to dry.

"Well, he can turn the wringer himself with his trunk, but his paws
are so big that he can't put the clothes through between the rubber
rollers. So he advertised for some little animal boy to help him after
school. I answered, and I'm going to help him wash and dry his clothes."

"How much are you to get?" asked Uncle Wiggily.

"I get three puppy biscuits every day and a glass of pink lemonade, and
on Saturday afternoons I can go to the circus for nothing."

"Fine!" cried Uncle Wiggily. "I'm real glad you came to tell me. You
are good and smart little animal boys."

Then Peetie and Jackie ran off to do the new work they had arranged
for, and Uncle Wiggily cleaned his auto ready for his ride next day.
And when he had finished he thought he would take a walk down to the
circus tent and see how Peetie was helping the elephant wash the
clothes. As for Jackie, he had to run so fast, here and there and
everywhere, to deliver his papers that Uncle Wiggily did not know where
to find him, any more than Bo-peep did her sheep.

Well, in a little while, the rabbit gentleman came to where the
elephant was washing his clothes. Of course he had to have a very large
tub and washboard and an extra large wringer for his clothes were very
large.

And there, up on a box in front of the tub, that was filled with suds
and water, stood Peetie Bow Wow, splashing around, and reaching down in
for the wet clothes. And as he fished them up, and put the ends between
the rubber rollers of the wringer, the elephant would turn the handle
of the squee-gee machine with his trunk.

"How is that?" asked Peetie.

"Fine!" cried the elephant, making his trunk go faster and faster, and
squirting the water out of the wet clothes, all over the ground.

"Yes, Peetie is a good little chap," said Uncle Wiggily. Just then the
elephant's brother came along, and the two big animals began talking
together. And, as they were both a little deaf, each one shouted to the
other as loudly as he could. Oh! such a racket as they made--thunder
was nothing to it!

And then a funny thing happened. Peetie turned around to put some more
clothes in the tub, when, all of a sudden, his tail got caught in
between the wringer's rubber rollers.

"Ouch!" cried the little puppy dog. "Ouch! Oh, dear me! Stop, please,
Mr. Elephant. Don't turn the wringer any more!"

But the two elephants were talking together, each one as loudly as he
could, about how much hay they could eat, and how some little boys at
a circus would give them only one peanut instead of a whole bag full,
and all things like that. So the clothes-washing elephant never noticed
that Peetie's tail was caught in the rollers. And he didn't hear him
cry.

Around and around the elephant turned the handle of the wringer with
his trunk, winding Peetie's tail right between the rollers, and drawing
the little puppy dog boy himself closer and closer into the tub, over
the water and nearer to the rubber rollers themselves.

[Illustration]

"Oh, stop! Oh, stop!" cried poor Peetie trying to get away, but he
could not. "If I get rolled between the rollers I'll be as flat as a
pancake!" he screamed. "Oh, stop! Oh, Uncle Wiggily, save me!"

"Yes, I will!" cried the rabbit gentleman. "You must stop turning that
wringer!" he said to the circus elephant. "You are wringing Peetie
instead of the clothes. His tail is caught!"

But the elephant was so deaf, and his brother was calling to him so
loudly about pink lemonade, that he could not hear either Peetie or
Uncle Wiggily. Then, to make him listen, Uncle Wiggily with his crutch
tickled the elephant's foot, which was as high up as he could reach,
but the big creature thought it was only a mosquito, and paid no
attention.

"Oh, what shall I do?" cried Peetie.

"I'll save you!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily, and then, happening to have
a bag of peanuts in his pocket he held them close to the elephant's
trunk. The elephant could smell, if he could not hear well, and all at
once he took the peanuts, and as he did so, of course, he removed his
trunk from the wringer handle.

And as he ate the peanuts he saw what a terrible thing he was doing,
wringing Peetie instead of the clothes, so he very kindly made the
wringer go backwards, and out came Peetie's tail again, a little flat,
but not much hurt otherwise.

"I am so sorry," said the elephant. "I wouldn't have had it happen for
the world."

"Yes, it was an accident," spoke Uncle Wiggily, "but I guess Peetie had
better find some other kind of work to do after school."

"All right," said the elephant. "I'll pay him off, and then I'll get
a rubbery snake to help me with my clothes. A snake won't mind being
squeezed."

So he did that, and Peetie and Uncle Wiggily went home, and nothing
more happened that day. But next, in case the automobile horn doesn't
blow the little girl's rubber balloon up in the top of the tree, where
the kittie cat has its nest, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggily and the
trained nurse.




STORY XVII

UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE TRAINED NURSE


Uncle Wiggily Longears, the gentleman rabbit, was out riding in his
automobile. He was taking exercise, so he would not be so fat, for a
fat rabbit is about the fattest thing there is, except a balloon, and
that doesn't count, as it has no ears.

"I wonder what will happen to me to-day?" said Uncle Wiggily, as he
rode along, turning the turnip steering wheel from one side to the
other to keep from bumping into stones and stumps, and things like
that. And, every now and then, Uncle Wiggily would take a bite out of
his turnip steering wheel. That was what it was for, you see. And as
for the German bologna sausages which were the tires, Uncle Wiggily
used to let anybody who wanted to--such as a hungry doggie or a
starving kittie--take a bite out of them whenever they wanted to.

Well, pretty soon, after a while, not so very long, Uncle Wiggily came
to the top of a hill. He stopped his auto there to look around at the
green fields and the apple trees in blossom, and at the little brook
running along over the green, mossy stones. And the brook never stubbed
its toe once on the stones! What do you think of that?

"Well, I guess I'll go down hill," thought the old gentleman rabbit,
and down he started.

But Oh unhappiness! Sadness, and, also, isn't it too bad!

No sooner had Uncle Wiggily started down the hill in his auto than the
snicker-snooker-um got twisted around the boodle-oodle-um, and that
made the wibble-wobble-ton stand on its head, instead of standing on
its ear as it really ought to have done.

Then the auto ran away, and the next thing Uncle Wiggily knew his car
had hit a stump, turned a somersault and part of a peppersault, and he
was thrown out.

"Bang!" he fell, right on the hard ground, and for a moment he stayed
there, being too much out of breath to get up and see what was the
matter.

And when he tried to get up he couldn't. Something had happened to him.
He had hit his head on a stone. Poor Uncle Wiggily!

But, very luckily, Dr. Possum happened to be passing, having just come
from paying a visit to Grandfather Goosey Gander, who had, by mistake,
eaten a shoe button with his corn meal pudding. And Dr. Possum, having
cured Grandpa Goosey, went at once to help Uncle Wiggily.

"We must get you home right away, Uncle Wiggily," said the doctor
gentleman. "You must be put to bed and have a trained nurse."

"Well, as long as I have to have a nurse, I should much prefer," said
Uncle Wiggily, faintly, "I should much prefer a trained one to a wild
one. For a trained nurse who can do tricks will be quite funny."

"Hum!" exclaimed Dr. Possum. "A trained nurse has no time to do tricks.
Now rest yourself."

So Uncle Wiggily sat back quietly in Dr. Possum's auto until he got to
his hollow stump home. Then Old Dog Percival and the doctor carried
the rabbit gentleman in, and they sent for a trained nurse. For Uncle
Wiggily was quite badly hurt, and needed some one to feed him for a
while.

Pretty soon the trained nurse came, and who did she turn out to be but
Nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy herself, the kind old muskrat. She had been
living with Uncle Wiggily, but, for a time, had gone off to study to be
a trained nurse. She put on a white cap and a blue and white striped
dress, and she was just as good a nurse as one could get from the
hospital. Uncle Wiggily was too ill to notice, though.

"I know how to look after him," said Nurse Jane, and she really did.

She felt of his pulse, and made him put out his tongue to look at, to
see that he had not swallowed it by mistake, and she found out how hot
he was to see if he had fever, and all things like that. And she put a
report of all these things down on a bit of white birch bark for paper,
using a licorice stick for a pencil. Afterward Dr. Possum would read
the report.

Well, for some time Uncle Wiggily was quite ill, for you know it is no
fun to be in an automobile accident. Then he began to get better. Nurse
Jane did not have much to do, and Dr. Possum, who came in every day,
said:

"He will get well now. But Uncle Wiggily has had a hard time of it;
very hard!"

And, as soon as he began to get better, Uncle Wiggily got sort of
impatient, and he wanted many things he could not have, or which were
not good for him. He wanted to get out of bed, but Nurse Jane would not
let him, for the doctor had told her not to.

Then Uncle Wiggily said:

"Well, you are a trained nurse. Now you must do some tricks for me, or
I shall get out of bed whether you want me to or not," and he barked
like a dog; really he did. You see he was not exactly himself, but
rather out of his head on account of the fever. "Come on, do some
tricks!" he cried to Nurse Jane.

Poor Miss Fuzzy-Wuzzy! She had never done a trick since she was a
little girl muskrat, but she knew sick rabbits must be humored, so she
tried to think of a trick. She did not know whether to make believe
jump rope, play puss in a corner or pretend that she was a fire engine.
And she really wanted to help Uncle Wiggily!

"Come on! Do something!" he cried, and he almost jumped out of bed. "Do
something."

And just then, as it happened, a great big bee flew in the window, and
maybe it was going to sting Uncle Wiggily, for all I know. Then Nurse
Jane knew what to do.

She caught up a soft towel, so as not to hurt the bee any more than she
had to, and she began hitting at him.

"Get out of here! Get out of here!" cried Nurse Jane. "You can't sting
Uncle Wiggily!"

"Buzz! Buzz!" sang the bee.

"Go out! Go out!" exclaimed Nurse Jane, and she made the towel sail
through the air. The bee flew this way and that, up and down and
sideways, but always Nurse Jane was after him with the towel, trying to
drive him out of the window.

She climbed up on chairs, she jumped over tables, without knocking over
a single medicine bottle. She crawled under the sofa and out again, she
even jumped on the couch and bounced up in the air like a balloon. And
at last she drove the bad bee out doors where he could get honey from
the flowers, and they didn't mind his stinging them if he wanted to,
which of course he didn't.

Then, after that, Nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy sat down in a chair, near
Uncle Wiggily, very tired out indeed. The old gentleman rabbit opened
his eyes and laughed a little.

"Those were funny tricks you did for me," he said, "jumping around like
that. Very funny! Ha! Ha!"

"I was not doing tricks," answered Nurse Jane, surprised-like. "I was
trying to keep a bee from biting you."

"Were you indeed?" spoke Uncle Wiggily. "I thought they were some of
the tricks you had been trained to do. They were fine. I laughed so
hard that I think I am much better."

And, indeed, he was, and soon he was all well, so that Nurse Jane
Fuzzy, without really meaning to at all, had done some funny tricks
when she drove out that bee. Oh! trained nurses are very queer, I
think, but they are very nice, also.

So Uncle Wiggily was soon well, and needed no nurse, and when his auto
was mended, he could ride around in it as nicely as before.




=The Sunnybrook Series=

  By MRS. ELSIE M. ALEXANDER

  Cloth Bound, 12 mo.        Illustrations in Color
  Jackets in Full Color      Colored End Papers, Illus.


       *       *       *       *       *

A remarkably well told, instructive series of stories of animals, their
characteristics and the exciting incidents in their lives. Young people
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    THE HAPPY FAMILY OF BEECHNUT GROVE
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    BUSTER RABBIT, THE EXPLORER
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    ADVENTURES OF TUDIE
    (THE FIELD MOUSE)

    TABITHA DINGLE
    (THE FAMOUS CAT OF SUNNYBROOK MEADOW)

    ROODY AND HIS UNDERGROUND PALACE
    (MR. WOODCHUCK IN HIS HAPPY HOME)

    BUFF AND DUFF
    (CHILDREN OF MRS. WHITE-HEN)

           *       *       *       *       *

    A. L. BURT COMPANY, _Publishers_

    114-120 EAST 23rd STREET      NEW YORK






=The Wildwood Series=

By BEN FIELD

  Cloth Bound, 12 mo.        Illustrations in Color
  Jackets in Full Color      Colored End Papers, Illus.

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In this new children's series the adventures of many familiar animal
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    EXCITING ADVENTURES OF MR. TOM SQUIRREL

    EXCITING ADVENTURES OF MR. JIM CROW

    EXCITING ADVENTURES OF MR. GERALD FOX

    EXCITING ADVENTURES OF MR. MELANCTHON COON

    EXCITING ADVENTURES OF MR. ROBERT ROBIN

    EXCITING ADVENTURES OF MR. BOB WHITE

           *       *       *       *       *

    A. L. BURT COMPANY, _Publishers_

    114-120 EAST 23rd STREET      NEW YORK



Transcriber's Note

A few obvious typographical errors have been corrected.

All other text and punctuation is retained.

Blank pages before illustrations have been removed.

Text in _italics_ or =bold= are indicated in this way.





End of Project Gutenberg's Uncle Wiggily's Automobile, by Howard R. Garis