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    Price 25 Cents

    [Illustration]


    Christmas at
    McCarthy’s


    _GUPTILL_


    PAINE PUBLISHING CO.
    DAYTON, OHIO




New Entertainment Songs

By Edna Randolph Worrell.


These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is
easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like
them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price =25= cents each. Five
copies, =$1.00=.

WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG. A welcome song that will at
once put the audience in a joyous frame of mind and create a happy
impression that will mean half the success of your entire program.
Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy.

WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE. This beautiful song has snap and go
that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just the song to
send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion.

WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN. This song will bring memories
to the listeners of their own bashful school days. Words, unusually
clever. Music, decidedly melodious. A capital welcome song, or it may
be sung at any time on the program with assured success.

MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE THEE. A song that will bring a thrill of
patriotism to the heart of every one who hears it. The children and
grown-ups just can’t resist the catchy music. It makes a capital
marching song.

COME AND PARTAKE OF OUR WELCOME CAKE. A merry welcome song and a jolly
one, too. The audience will be immediately curious about the Welcome
Cake, and the children will love to surprise the listeners with the
catchy words. Music, easy and tuneful.

LULLABY LANE. The music and words blend so beautifully that people will
be humming the appealing strains long after they hear this charming
song. A wonderfully effective closing song, whether sung by the school
or as a solo by a little girl, with a chorus of other little girls with
dolls.

JOLLY PICKANINNIES. Words by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Music by Edna R.
Worrell. This spicy coon song will bring down the house, especially if
you use the directions for the motions which accompany the music. The
black faces and shining eyes of the pickaninnies will guarantee a hit.
The words are great and the music just right.

THE LITTLE BIRD’S SECRET. Here is just the song for those two little
folks to sing together. They won’t have to be coaxed to sing it,
especially when they find that the whole school is to whistle the
chorus. This is a decided novelty, and will prove a rare treat to your
audience.

A GARDEN ROMANCE. This is a dainty little song telling of the romance
and wedding of Marigold and Sweet William. It is just the song for
dainty little girls to sing.

COME TO THE NURSERY RHYME GARDEN AND PLAY. Here is something different
for the little folks to sing. The Nursery Rhyme Folk are so familiar to
children, it will be no trick for them to remember the words. The music
has a most captivating swing.

    =Paine Publishing Company=      =Dayton, Ohio=




    Christmas at McCarthy’s


    BY

    ELIZABETH F. GUPTILL

    _Author of “Christmas at Punkin Holler,”
    “A Topsy Turvy Christmas,” Etc._


    [Illustration]


    Copyright, 1916
    PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY
    Dayton, Ohio




Cast of Characters


    PATRICK MCCARTHY,   the most important man in the “tinement”
    BRIDGET MCCARTHY                                    His Wife
    MR. OPPERMAN                                           A Jew
    MRS. OPPERMAN                                       His Wife
    LARS                                                 A Swede
    MRS. CHLOE WASHINGTON                                Colored
    MRS. FERRARI                                         Italian
    MR. STRAUSS                         Elsie’s father, a German
    ELSIE                                      “Tinement” Orphan
    JIMMIE                                          The News Boy
    PATSY     }
    KATIE     }
    POMPEY    }
    CONNIE    }
    CLEOPATRA }
    MICKEY    }                 Other Children of the “Tinement”
    CAESAR    }
    LUIGI     }
    CARLOTTA  }
    HILDA     }
    TONY      }




Christmas at McCarthy’s




SCENE I.


(_Setting—The sidewalk outside of “Murphy’s Tinement.” Have a couple
of low, wide steps, if possible. The children are gathered on and
around these steps. Use plenty of children—as many as convenient. Small
children from two to six or seven may be used as little brothers and
sisters to those who have the speaking parts. As curtain rises, some
of the children are playing “Button, button,” on the lowest step, and
others are playing “Hop-scotch” at one side. The smallest ones hug
dilapidated dollies, rolled up from rags. One has a small wheel, such
as might have been on a little cart, once. Enter Jimmy and Elsie—hurry
along to group._)

KATIE—Sold out so soon?

JIMMY—Ivery blissid paper av thim. Sure, ’twas the swate face of Ilsie
did it. I do be a thinkin’. An’ ivery sowl that bought a paper, almost,
axed quistions about her. Guess they thought she was a high-born leddy,
and me a stealthy, crapy kidnapper. Shure, an’ she got a foine chanst
to be a leddy, and she wouldn’t take it, at all, at all! Think av that,
now!

CONNIE—How could she get a chanst to be a leddy, when she’s jist a bit
av a colleen?

CLEOPATRA—Ah reck’n he means to be quality. Did some quality lady
wanter stole yer, honey chile?

ELSIE—Lady wanted to take me ’way fum Jimmy. She said, fere was mine
mutter dat her let me does papers to sell? And I wasn’t selling dose
papers at all! Jimmy was selling ’em. And I telled her mine mutter was
to Himmel gone, and mine fader was all loss, and—

JIMMY—And she wanted to take her home to be her little gel, ’n whin I
said we couldn’t spare the sunny face av her, she tried to wheedle her
away! Bad ’cess to her!

ELSIE—And she said I wasn’t Jimmy’s little sister at all, she did!

JIMMY—And she axed, she did, as purry as a cat, could we afford to kape
a growin’ choild that didn’t belong to us, and I says to her, says I,
“Ilsie belongs to the whole tinement, that she does!” And she axed how
that was, and I told her how Mrs. Ferrari slapes her, and Mrs. Omstrom
ates her, and Aunt Bridget washes her, and Mrs. Washington minds her,
and Mr. Opperman buys her bit clothes, and you girls kape her tidy, and
I buy her hair ribbins, and she laughed, and called her a communerty
orphin.

ELSIE—And I telled her I wasn’t no orfing, I was Jimmy’s little sister,
and she laughed some more, and she said I was pretty, and she gaved me
this. (_shows quarter._)

MICKY—Begorra, what a lot av money! It’s a capitalist ye’ll be afther
being, like the Rocky feller.

JIMMY—And thin, bedad, she began to wheedle, and she promised her foine
drisses, and a babby doll, and a cab to wheel it in, and iverything ye
could think about, and more, too, begorry. And thin if she didn’t up
and offer her a Christmas tree!

KATIE—A Christmas tree! Why didn’t she offer her the earth, with a
noice little pick fince around it? And ye wouldn’t lave us for a
Christmas tree, Elsie darlint?

ELSIE—“No,” I said, “Jimmy will buy me a Christmas tree a’reddy.”

MICKEY—Like fun he will! Does she think Jimmy’s a millionair?

JIMMY—And she asked where did we live, and I said, “over at the South
side,” says I, and I mutters “over the lift” to mesilf and says she,
“I’m a coming to see yer mother,” she says. And says I, wid the face av
me as sober as a praste, “Me mither’s me ant, for the rale mither av
me’s over in Ould Oirland in a churchyard, where she’s been iver since
jist before I was born, or jist afther, I forgit which, its so long
ago.”

ELSIE—And she laughed, and said she was going to haf her pretty baby,
yet a’retty, but I won’t with that lady go. I will stay with my Jimmy.
Jimmy won’t let her get me.

JIMMY—Don’t worry the golden braids av yer, Ilsie love. I gave her
shtrate way out at the South side that isn’t there at all, at all, and
bedad, she’ll hunt awhile before she finds that addriss, and whin she
does, it’ll be the wrong one.

ELSIE—(_confidently_) And Jimmy will buy me a Christmas, won’t you,
Jimmy?

JIMMY—Maybe, Ilsie love, a little one.

ELSIE—No, a big one, with a big, big tree.

CAESAR—Dar don’t no trees grow in de city, Ailsie honey, not cut down
ones.

ELSIE—They grow the stores in. Mine fader always did buy me one.

LUIGI—Maybe we mighta, all togetta, buy a leedla one. I could de shoesa
polish, and get some mon’.

CAESAR—An’ I kin hold de gemman’s hosses, ’n run arrantses.

MICKY—Let’s all try hard and see if we can’t get Elsie a little
Christmas tree.

ELSIE—I don’t a little Christmas want. I wants a big Christmas and a
big tree, like mine fader always did me get.

KATIE—But you see, Elsie, we’re all poor folks, and—

ELSIE—Jimmy will buy me a Christmas—a big Christmas, and a big tree. I
know he will.

MICKY—Gee, Jimmy! It’s up to you, all right.

MR. OPPERMAN—(_entering_) Vot vos up to Chimmy?

CAESAR—Ter cunjur up a big Christmas tree fo’ Ailsie. She done boun’
ter have one.

ELSIE—Mine fader did get me one always, Mr. Opperman.

OPPERMAN—Vell, vell, ve never did yet have van Christmas here yet
a’retty, but meppe ve might half von leedle von, if ve all chip in
togedder. Be patient a’retty, mine leedle fraulein, and ve’ll see vot
ve’ll see!

ELSIE—But I don’t want one little tree, I want one big one like mine
fader always did me get. Jimmy will buy me one. I know he will. I’m
Jimmy’s little sister. He did buy for me these hair ribbons of the blue
color.

CAESAR—You’ll half ter do it, Jimmy, whedder or no, as de preachah say.

ELSIE—You know, Mr. Opperman. You one German was, too. You know the
German kinder do always one big Christmas tree have. Mustn’t I have one?

OPPERMAN—Vell, vell, leedle Madchen, I vos sure von Cherman, but I vos
von Cherman Chew a’retty. Der Chews no Christmas do keep, nor drees.

ELSIE—(_beginning to cry_) I must have one big Christmas tree. I must.
And no one wants me my tree to have but Jimmy.

JIMMY—There, there, Ilsie, don’t spoil the swate eyes av yez wid
cryin’, ans we’ll think up a way somehow. (_Mrs. McCarthy, Mrs.
Ferrari, Mrs. Omstrom, and Mrs. Washington come out and seat themselves
on the steps._)

CHLOE—(_taking Elsie into her lap_) What dey bin a doin’ to mammy
Chloe’s li’l white lambie?

BRIDGET—Which av ye spalpeens hov bin afther makin’ the wee colleen
wape, now? Be shame to yez, who iver yez are!

ELSIE—They don’t want me my Christmas to have a’retty.

BRIDGET—And who’s bin afther puttin’ Christmas into the hid av her?
You, Jim, I’ll bet a sixpince. Yez do spile the choild, most awful.

JIMMY—’Twasn’t me, nather. ’Twas a foine leddy who wanted to adopt her,
av yez plaze, or av yez don’t plaze, either.

CHLOE—’Dopt her? Den she’d be quality, like she ottah be, but ole mammy
Chloe would miss her li’l white missy.

BRIDGET—Bedad, an’ she can’t have her, thin. She’s the baby of all
Murphy’s tinement, and betwane us we’ll get up a Christmas for her if
she’s thot set on it. I kin take in an ixtry wash or two, mebbe. Sure
me own little spalpeens have niver had a Christmas yit, nor Jimsie,
naythur.

JIMMY—I don’t need any, Aunt Bridget, but Elsie wants one that bad, she
can’t same to do widout it.

ELSIE—Mine fader did always one tree for me get.

CARLOTTA—How mucha one tree he costa?

OPPERMAN—Ve von leedle von could get vor—led me see—

ELSIE—I don’t one little one want. I want one big one.

CHLOE—Shuah you do, ma honey. Like de quality allers has, a-settin’
in de parlah, an’ a-reachin’ clar up to de high ceilin’, wid candles
a-twinklin’ an’ pretty, tings a-shinin’. Mammy’s seen ’em, in de Souf.
If we was dah, now! Dey grows dah, an’ Pompey could go out wid his axe
an’ cut one down fo’ his li’l Missy.

ELSIE—(_very eager_) Yes, Mammy Chloe, that just what I want! Just like
the tree I always did have every Christmas.

CARLOTTA—But where we so mucha mon’ getta?

HILDA—They haff the so large trees the churches in. What bane they do
with them after?

OPPERMAN—Dot vos so! Dot Svede voman vos one pargin hunter a’retty. Dot
tree be segond hand de day after de Christmas, and he gome cheap.

CHLOE—Mah Pompey he know dah sextant ob dat big chu’ch on Ellum Street,
’n ah reckon he’ll git it mo’n cheap. Yo’ shill hab yo’ tree, Ailsie
lamb.

TONY—I wanta tree, too.

ELSIE—It will be one tree for everbody, a’retty.

BRIDGET—So it shall. The entire communerty of inhabitints is invoited
to be prisint at a gran Christmas party, with a tree, refrishments and
an intertainmint, in McCarthy’s fore room the noight afther Christmas.

ELSIE—No, not the night after; I want it the Christmas Day on.

BRIDGET—And so it will be, bedad! I hereby make the announcemint that
Christmas at McCarthy’s will be the twinty-sixth of Dacimber this year,
and thot’s whin we’ll have our grand hippodromy.

MICKEY—Begorry, it’s mither knows the grand worrds!

CARLOTTA—My Antonio, he giva da peanutta and da poppa, and da bambinos
sewa it da stringa on.

HILDA—I can sweetmeats make.

CHLOE—Ole Chloe know how make all de good tings—de crullahs an’ cakes.

KATIE—Mither makes foine melasses candy.

BRIDGET—Yis, ’n I know how to make a whole cirrcus of animiles, all av
cooky dough.

OPPERMAN—Mine brudder he work a varm on. I git him zum abbles me to
send. I—I—I gif von prezent to efery laddy in der tinemint!

CHLOE—Purty good foh an ole bach! He, he! Chloe knows how to mek a heap
o’ li’l knick-knacks out o’ nuffin. I show yo’ li’l gals how mek de
nice Christmas gif’. Yo’ wait’n see.

JIMMY—And everybody there must have somethin’ fer Ilsie, fer ’twas her
got it up. Murphy’s tinemint niver kipt Christmas before.

BRIDGET—It’s goin’ ter do thot same this year, me bye. Remimber, at
McCarthy’s the avenin of the twinty-sixth, and ivery blissed sowl must
do something for the grand vodyville intertainmint.

OPPERMAN—But vy your rooms, instead of dose room of mine? Mine der
piggest is, und downstairs, a’retty, und you all vould velcome be.

BRIDGET—Sure yours is the biggest, an’ the most cluttered, I’d be
thinkin’. Yez see, Mr. Opperman, yer one room is pretty well filled
wid yer shtove an’ yer bed, an’ yer table, an’ all your clutter, which
a old bachelor niver doos pick up nor clane up, and me own fore room
is large and nearly impty, wid the parlor set Oi’ll be afther havin’
some day shtill in the shtore, and it’s the foine place for the parrty,
nayther way up shtairs nor way down, an’ it’s there let it be.

CHLOE—(_starting up_) Dar’s de whistle a-blowin’, chillen. Pappy’ll be
hum ter he suppah in two shakes ob a lamb’s tale. (_All the women hurry
in, and the children stand up, and wave their hands and shout._)

MICKY—Three chairs fer Christmas at McCarthy’s!

ALL—Rah, rah rah! (_Run off in both directions._)


    CURTAIN.




SCENE II.


(_McCarthy’s “fore room,” with “the tree” in the corner. To make the
tree, take three old umbrellas—the skeletons only. They should be open.
Plant the handle of the first one in a tub of earth, strengthening it,
and making it firmer, by four pieces of wire fastened to the ribs,
coming down, obliquely, and anchoring firmly to the tub. A second
umbrella is fastened to the first, the handle of this one running
down by the central wire of the first, and the two wired firmly
together. A third one—and this should be one with a “crookhandle,”
hangs downward from the ceiling, just above the second. Wire till all
is firm and strong, but have the work crude. This “tree” is draped
with green tissue paper, cut into leaves of every size and shape.
Flowers and ornaments of bright tissue paper adorn it, and to every
point is firmly fastened a piece of candle. The ornaments should be
very simple—cut-out hearts, stars, etc., paper chains, lanterns, and
Jacob’s ladders, etc. At the top is fastened a large star, covered with
the silver foil that comes around compressed yeast cakes. This should
have rays of broomstraws, also covered with the foil. There should
be a great deal of ornament. Here and there are a few pieces of the
gay-colored glass balls used for decorating Christmas trees. Strings of
popcorn and cranberries also adorn the tree. Hovering over the top is
a paper angel, and at the bottom is a penny picture of the nativity.
There should be a good many penny sticks of candy on the tree, and
a few “oranges” of crepe or tissue paper. A large basket of apples
stands near the tree, while another basket and the floor around are
heaped with “the prisints,” in all sorts of rude bundles. Mr. and Mrs.
McCarthy are alone in the room, giving the last touches to “the tree.”_)

BRIDGET—Sure, and it’s one grand evint for Murphy’s tinemint! Look at
thot tree now, will yez? Who but Jimmy wood iver have thought av it!
Sure the Baby’s eyes were full av tears, and she shtamped the little
fut av her, and she says, says she, “Khristhmas is the twinty-fifth
av Dacimber, not the twinty-sixth,” says she. Ivery buddy do be a
saying so, and I won’t have a second hand Christmas, Jimmy, I won’t.
And little cud she know av the high cost of living. She wud have a
big tree, and she would have it to-night. Bedad, if’t had bin one av
me own little spalpeens, I’d have given her a taste av me hand, where
it wud do the most good, but ye can’t spank an orphin, and I was that
distracted I didn’t know what to do, but Jimmy, he says, says he, pert
as an eyster, “We’ll have it the roight night, Ilsie, if it’ll bitter
suit yez. And we won’t have no second hand tree, nuther,” says he.
“We’ll have a brand new, original kind’t nobuddy niver had before.”
And Ilsie she stopped a wapin’, and began to look interested. “And ye
must promise me that ye’re goin’ ter loike it,” he says, ’cause Jimmy’s
plannin’ it all for his little sister, to make her happy.

Sure and ivery one in the tinemint has brought a prisint for Ilsie,
It’s rich she’ll be whin it’s over, I do be a-thinkin’.

PAT—She will that same. And begorry, it is a foine tree, and ivery
choild in the tinemint will injye it, I do be a-thinkin’. Arrah! here
they come! (_Voices outside. Jimmy speaks up loudly._)

JIMMY—No, no, now. No breakin’ ranks. Kape in yer places, now, and no
crowdin’. It’s two and two ye’re afther goin’ in, as Noah’s beasties
wint inter the Ark. And Ilsie’s a comin’ first, cause if’t hadn’t bin
fer Ilsie there wudn’t a one of ye had a spick av a Christmas, no more
than ye iver did afore.

ELSIE—I want to go in _now_, Jimmy, I do.

JIMMY—Thin knock thray toimes on the dure wit’ yer fairy wand, and if
the little payple have all shcampered out av soight, the dure’ll open.
(_Three knocks are heard, Pat swings open the door, and all march in._)

CHILDREN—Oh! Ah! It’s the beautiful tree!

JIMMY—Merry Christmas, iverybody!

CHILDREN—(_enthusiastically_) Merry Christmas, iverybody! (_The grown
people have followed the children into the room. There should be
improvised seats of boxes, barrels, and boards. They seat themselves,
and look expectantly at Elsie._)

(_Elsie buries her face on Jimmy’s shoulder and begins to cry._)

JIMMY—Fhwat ails yez, Ilsie darlint? Tell Jimmy fhwat’s the matter av
ye!

ELSIE—It—it is _not_ one Christmas tree, aretty. It—it is not one tree
at all.

JIMMY—Sure it is. Don’t yez see the green on the branches av it?

ELSIE—(_looking up a minute_) They is not no branches at all.

PAT—Thin what be they?

ELSIE—I don’t know, but they no branches are, and that no tree is,
whatever.

OTHER CHILDREN—(_indignantly_) It’s a foine tree!

ELSIE—It is not no tree at all! Jimmy, you did said I should have one.

JIMMY—And you said you wud loike it if Jimmy got it for yez, and now
yez don’t. Oh, Ilsie, pit!

KATIE—(_kneeling by Elsie_) Ilsie, darlint, poor Jimmy fales awful bad.
Do yez want him to crry?

ELSIE—I do feel bad, too, Katie. He said I should have a Christmas
tree, he did!

KATIE—And he got ye one—a foine one! “Sure,” says he, “She’s had German
trees a lot av toimes, but she’s niver had one av this koind, and
bedad, Oi’ll git it fer her, cost it what it will,” says he; and he’s
done it, and now yez don’t loike it! That isn’t a nice grateful little
Ilsie at all.

ELSIE—Is it a tree, really Katie—one new kind, aretty?

KATIE—It is thot same, colleen Bawn. It’s—it’s—dear me, I disremember
the name av it.

PAT—It’s a Pollyglot tree, that’s fhwat it is, and a rare koind, too.
And to think she doosn’t care fer thot same, whin Jimmy got it be
purpose for her!

ELSIE—I do like it, aretty. Jimmy, don’t you cry once. It’s a nice new
kind of a tree, and I does like it.

JIMMY—Thin thray cheers fer the grand Christmas tree! (_all join._)

ELSIE—There candy is on it, and candles, and the angel flies over the
top aretty. It is a nice tree, Jimmy.

TONY—I wants candy.

CARLOTTA—Not yet-a is the candy time-a. Mia bambino mus’ wait-a.

BRIDGET—Yis, furrst is the grand vodyville intertainmint by the
inhabitints of Murphy’s tinemint. Read off the names, Katy darlint.

KATY—First is the spache av wilcome, by Patrick O’Rafferty McCarthy.

PATRICK—Highly honored frinds and nayborrs. We are gathered here
to-night—to-night, we are gathered here—to—to—

BRIDGET—(_in a stage whisper_) To celebrate.

PATRICK—Oh yis. To celebrate. We’re gathered here to celebrate.
(_Scratches head._) We’re gathered here to celebrate—and—and—we’re
doing av thot same.

BRIDGET—(_whispers_) It’s a joyful occasion.

PATRICK—Bedad, and it isn’t thin. It’s anything but a jyful occasion
whin yez have a spache to make and can’t remimber a worrd av it! ’Twas
Biddy and Katie wrote it, and begorry they’ll have to say it, if it’s
said. The mate in the shell av it is this. We’ve got up this shindy fer
the orphin in our midst, little Islie, bliss the blue eyes av her! who
belongs to ivery one av us, and fer our own little childher as well—the
poor little spalpeens that we’ve chated out av a Christmas ivery year
because we wasn’t Carniggy’s. We’re a holdin’ it here in McCarthy’s
fore room, be the razin that it’s the biggest room in the tinemint,
with the ixciption of Opperman’s, which he ginerously offered, but
which was so cluttered ’twould have taxed the patience av a saint to
thry to pick it up. So it’s here, as yez see, and it’s wilcome yez are,
ivery one, Catholic and heretic, Jew, and Gintile, to hilp kape the
birthday av one little Child, by making other childer happy. Wilcome to
iverybody. Wilcome to the Christmas at McCarthy’s. (_sits down._)

(_All, clapping and stamping._)

Foine! Great! (_and so on._) (_Every number on the program must be
vociferously applauded._)

KATIE—Nixt is a recitation by Patsy McCarthy, Junior.

BRIDGET—Shpake up, Patsy love, and do as well as ould Patsy did, now.

PATSY—

    Bedad, Oi’m glad it’s Christmas time.
      Oi’m glad we’ve got a tree.
    Oi’m glad that something on it hangs,
      Fer Ilsie and fer me! Amen!

KATIE—No, no, Patsy, the amen didn’t belong there.

PATSY—(_running to his mother_) Oll roight, Katie, you kin take it aff!
(_All laugh._)

MR. OPPERMAN—He von smart poy was, aretty, vor year old, ain’t it?

BRIDGET—Thank yez kindly, Mr. Opperman, he was that, jist loike the
feyther av him. Oi always did say thot Pat wud have made a foine
orayter if he’d had the iddycation fer thot same.

KATIE—Nixt is a song of Italy in the original Eyetalian, by Mrs.
Carlotta Ferrari. (_Carlotta may sing any little Italian song, or a bit
from one of the Italian operas._)

KATIE—Nixt is a rale darkey breakdown, as danced on the Southern
plantashins at Christmas time. Danced by Caesar Augustus Lincoln
Washington. His dady will accompany him on the banjo, a rale truly
Southern instermint, which he brung from Alabamy. (_Pompey plays and
Caesar dances, cuts “pigeon wings,” etc., and ends up with an elaborate
bow to the audience, then walks on his hands to his seat._)

KATIE—Nixt is a recitation by Miss Ilsie Strauss.

ELSIE—

    The world was silent and starry and still.
      A bright star shone over Bethlehem’s hill.
    A dear little Child in the manger lay,
      And that was the very first Christmas Day.
    The wise men brought rich gifts of gold.
      We bring our gifts, as they did of old;
    And sing our carols, so glad and gay,
      The whole world is keeping the Christmas Day.

BRIDGET—Bless the swate heart av her! She remimbered thot from last
year!

ELSIE—I always did say it at my Christmas tree, and then I did mine
hymn sing.

MR. OPPERMAN—Sing it now for us, aretty. (_Elsie sings Martin Luther’s
cradle hymn, which begins, “Away in a Manger.”_)

KATIE—Nixt is a Christmas flag drill, as given at school, wid
variations. Yez see, we do it at school wid the Shtars and Shtripes,
but we made these Christmas flags at school and the teacher fixed the
worruds over, and made the hull thing as Christmassy as ye plaze. And
she said we’se moight kape the flags, av we loiked, so we did loike to
do that same and here they be, thimsilves. (_She goes out a minute and
returns with the flags, which she gives out to the children who are to
take part in the drill. Half the flags are of red, half of Christmas
green, each with a large gold star in the corner._)

KATIE—Give us all the room yez can, now, and we’ll do it as well as the
space’ll let us.

ELSIE—We cannot up and down the aisles march, Katie.

KATIE—Yis, ye can. Jist ye follow the laders, and we’ll march up and
down the imaginary aisles, as grand az ye plaze. Riddy, now. (_All
take places, the girls, in order-of size, behind Katie—the boys behind
Jimmy._) This is the kay, now. Sound it. (_All do so, and the march and
song begin.[A]Tune: “Wave, Old Glory.” As they sing, they march up and
down the “imaginary aisles.”_)



    SONG.

    We are happy little children, at the Christmas time,
      See us gaily marching, marching, while our voices chime.
    See the flag now wave before us, with its golden star,
      Telling of the Child once born in Bethlehem afar.

    Chorus:

    Wave your banner, wave it gladly, sing in happy glee.
      Let the Christmas chimes re-echo over land and sea.

    Evergreen the Christmas story, never shall it die.
      Red the color bright of glory, streaming from the sky.
    Golden are the stars of Christmas in the heavens so high,
      Glorious was the Star that shone afar in Syria’s sky.

    Chorus:

    Wave your banner, wave it gladly, with its golden star,
      While the happy children’s voices echo near and far.

    Let the Christmas joy and gladness in our hearts keep time,
      While the Christmas bells are pealing forth their merry chime.
    Let us all pass on the blessing sent us from above.
      This the keynote of the day, the Christmas watch-word, “Love.”

    Chorus:

    Wave your banners, wave them gladly while your voices chime.
      ’Tis the golden time of year, the happy Christmas time.

(_At close of song, go on with the following drill._)

DRILL.

FIG. 1.—Leaders meet, hold flags high, while others march under, and
around, in two circles, twice. When they come the third time, they form
in line behind others and raise flags, forming long arch. Back couple
march down through it, and then up, outside it, to place, but do not
raise flags this time. Next couple repeat this, till all have done so,
and are in place once more.

FIG. 2.—March backward till two lines are as far apart as space will
permit, then march forward, flags waving, through opposite lines to
other side, turn and repeat.

FIG. 3.—March to form two circles, girls inside. Boys march completely
around them, then wind in and out around circle, then pass in and form
circle inside.

FIG. 4.—Girls repeat Fig. 3.

FIG. 5.—Girls, now in inner circle, march around one way, boys the
other. When they have gone around once this way, they wind the “grand
right and left,” crossing flags with each one met; passing to the right
of the first one met, and to the left of the next one met. Continue
thus around circle.

FIG. 6.—Boys step back, making larger circle, girls step in between
boys, making one large circle. March around once, flags waving, then
all face centre. All march in toward centre, flags held high and
forward. When near enough to centre so that flags nearly touch in a
high point, march around in a wheel, then back to places again.

FIG. 7.—Boys form line, girls form line in front: of them. Boys march
around end of this line, and form line in front of girls. Girls do
same. Continue as many times as space allows.

FIG. 8.—Girls pass one way, boys the other, meet at back and march to
centre in spiral, first a girl, then a boy. At centre, turn and unwind
spiral.

FIG. 9.—Come down to front, all abreast, flags waving, and bow, waving
flags with a wide sweep.

FIG. 10.—March up in pairs, separate, pass to sides.

KATIE—Sure and we can’t lade thim to their seats, for they haven’t any,
bedad, so we’ll call the drill inded, and hope ye loiked it.

PAT—Thot we did, Katie darlint. ’Twas foine.

BRIDGET—Illigant!

MR. OPPERMAN—It vos von britty zight, aretty.

CHLOE—And to tink dey-all larn dat in de school!

CARLOTTA—It is da poetry and da music and da rhythm, all in one-a.

LARS—And zey bane (_points as he counts_) one, two, tree, four, fife
nations. And all bane learning und singing like one. (_It would be nice
to have Lars count in Swedish, if he can—the author cannot._)

POMPEY—But dey-all all like heah in de Nof. Black or white, all same as
one.

BRIDGET—They are that same, in this blissid counthry. Here’s your
little pickaninnies, and the little Swades, the Eyetalian childher and
the Germans, and me own little Irish colleens, all aloike good frinds,
and singing all togither the Christmas songs.

CONNIE—We aren’t Irish and Naygurs and Swades and sich, mither, we’re
Americans, ivery wan av us. Tacher says so.

PAT—And so yez are, God bliss yez, ivery one. Sing thot song ye larned
in school—“My Own America, I Love but Thee.”[B]

MICKEY—That ain’t a Christmas song, feyther.

PAT—It’s good enough fer Christmas or any other day in the year. Sing
it. Pipe up, Katy gurl. (_Katy does so, and they sing._)

MR. OPPERMAN—(_at close of song_) Dot vos von goot song, for certain.

KATIE—Nixt is a recitation by James Terence O’Neal.

(_Plenty of material for the children’s recitations can be found in
any Christmas collection. The ones referred to are in the little book,
“Original Christmas Recitations,” by the author of this play, and will
be sent for fifteen cents to any address, by the publishers of this
play. Each child should deliver his recitation in the same brogue,
or accent, he uses in the rest of the play. Of course, if any of the
“pieces” are changed, the comments immediately after must be changed,
also._)

(_Jimmy recites “Vice Versa.”_)

PAT—No danger av yez iver goin’ there, Jimsy bye, if turrkey’s the only
thing that takes yez. If it was porrk and praties, now—

JIMMY—You and I’d both go, wouldn’t we, Uncle Pat?

KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Master Antonio Ferarri, Junior.

TONY—

    “’Fi’s a leetla orphan, wif no share in the Kissmiss joy,
     I’d jus’ dopt ole Santa Clausa, and be hees leetla boy.”

MR. OPPERMAN—A goot chooze, dot vould be, aretty.

ELSIE—I wouldn’t. I’d ’dopt my Jimmy, and his little sister be.

JIMMY—Just like you did, Ilsie darlint.

KATIE—Nixt is a rale plantation song by the Washington famerly, the
hull four av thim.

CHLOE—Yo ottah call it a quahtette, honey. Dat’s de stylish name.
(_Pompey plays his banjo, and they all sing. Any of the old Southern
Darkey songs will do—not the ragtime coon song of to-day._)

KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by our esteemed frind and fellow bachelor,
Mr. Fritz Opperman.

MR. OPPERMAN—Bud I don’t vos knew any Gristmas biece, aretty. I voz von
Jew, you see, Miss Kadie.

KATIE—But yez kin say some dandy ones. Niver moind the Christmas part,
Mr. Opperman. Jist spale off a funny one. (_Mr. Opperman recites any
comic poem in Dutch dialect._)

MR. OPPERMAN—Now id vos other poddy’s durn, aretty yet.

KATIE—Yis, it’s Mickey’s. Masther Saint Michael McCarthy will now spake
a ricitation. (_Mickey recites “Santa’s Mistake.”_)

BRIDGET—(_at close_) Sure, an’ I haven’t thin, Mickey, bye. Oi’d be
proud to have a dozin as foine ones as me own three are, and if the
ould Saint laves me anither Oi’ll kape me eyes on yez, Oi will thot.

MICKEY—(_looking over Katie’s shoulder_) Nixt Luigi will play us a
chune on his fiddle.

KATIE—(_pushing him_) Be off wid yez! Is that a pretty way to say it,
now? Nixt, is a violin doit, by the great Italian musishin—Misther
Antonio Ferrari, and his son Masther Luigi ditto.

LUIGI—Ditto not my name-a. (_Antonio and Luigi play, Luigi playing
second part, preferably something distinctly Italian. If desired,
Carlotta and Bianca may sing, in Italian._)

PAT—I doos loike a good fiddle chune.

KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Miss Thelma Omstrom. (_Thelma recites
“The Birdie’s Tree.”_)

MR. OPPERMAN—Dot von goot ting to do vos, aretty.

HILDA—We always do so in Sweden. The birrds their Chrissmas haff as
well as the little ones.

KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Miss Constantia Erin McCarthy. (_Connie
recites “Baby’s Shopping.”_)

PAT—The littel spalpeen. If thot wasn’t a good joke now!

KATIE—Nixt is an ould Latin hymn, as sung in the Catholic churches, by
Mrs. Bridget Maloney McCarthy, who was once a soloist in the church in
Kerry. (_Bridget sings “Adeste Fidelis,” or some other old Christmas
hymn. If preferred, she may sing in English, but the old Latin hymns
are very beautiful._)

PAT—Sure, and Oi heard her a singing thot same hymn one Christmas in
ould Oirland. Oi’d been to say me mither’s ant, in Kerry, and was a
going home the nixt day. But I didn’t. “Begorry, thot’s the vice, fer
me,” says I, and I stayed and coorted the singer.

KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Miss Bianca Ferrari. (_Bianca recites
“What They Found.”_)

LARS—Take a warning, you Luigi boy, and don’t bane tease your sister
any more.

KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Miss Cleopatry Harriet Beecher Stowe
Washington.

CLEOPATRA—’Twarn’t no resh’tashing. ’Twar a song—a lullerby.

KATIE—Shure and it was thot same. Ixcuse me, Cleo.

CLEOPATRA—Whah’s my pick-a-ninny, Mammy? (_Mammy takes from a capacious
pocket a rag doll rolled up from an old black stocking with features
sewed on, and a cap and long dress of white._)

CHLOE—Heah she am, honey chile. Sing her to sleep now. (_Cleopatra may
sing any darkey lullaby._)

HILDA—A sweet little song, and nicely singed.

KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Carl Omstrom. (_Carl recites “A Ten Cent
Christmas.”_)

LARS—(_at close of recitation_) And I did buy effery one of tem for
some one here. I bane had a real dime.

KATIE—And now, as Mr. Lars Omstrom and Mrs. Hilda Omstrom have begged
to be ixcused, we will ind this programme by a good rousing Christmas
carol, sung by iverbuddy.

JIMMY—No, yez don’t. Miss Katherine McCarthy hasn’t done her share yit.

KATIE—Yis I did, Jimmy. I read the programme.

MICKY—No go. Ye’ve got ter sing, Katie.

KATIE—But I wasn’t ixpicting to do that same, and—

PAT—Niver moind the appollygies. Give ’em “Rory O-More,” Katy love.
(_Katy sings “Rory O’More,” or any preferred Irish song._)

KATIE—And now fer the grand final choris! Iverrybuddy sing. (_All
sing any chosen Christmas Carol, old or new. At the end, Mr. Strauss,
Elsie’s father, walks in._)

MR. STRAUSS—A vine ghorus, dot! Dey dold me I should mine leetle Elsie
find here.

ELSIE—(_springing into his arms_) Mine fader! Oh, mine fader! How did
you yourselluf find, aretty?

MR. STRAUSS—Mine own leedle von! Und your mutter is died, dey zay.

ELSIE—Ya, and you did lost yourselluf, and—

MR. STRAUSS—I vos not loss, I vos seeck, so long dime mine head mitout,
and could not the American talk remember. Mine uncle has died, Elsie,
und I am a rich man, aretty.

ELSIE—I was a rich girl, too, mine fader. See the grand Christmas tree
we have on that corner. It is mine tree. Jimmy got it for me.

MR. STRAUSS—I vill go and buy von big real tree aretty, mine Elsie,
with candles and ornaments and gifts, and all these shall see.

ELSIE—I’d rather have this tree, mine fader. I do this tree like.

MR. STRAUSS—Den dis tree you shall have, mine Elsie, and New Years’ Day
we will one big tree have, mine country blace out at, and all these
shall come, who have mine Elsie bin goot to, aretty.

JIMMY—Are you going to take Elsie away, sir?

ELSIE—I can’t from Jimmy away go. Mine Jimmy must with us go, mine
fader. I vos Jimmy’s little sister.

MR. OPPERMAN—It vos dot Chimmy dot did find her crying the street in,
and pring her here.

MR. STRAUSS—And you cared for her? You did not let her to the Orphan
asylum go? But you are poor people. How you do it?

PAT—Sure we did it betwane us, and nobody missed the bite and sup the
wee colleen took. But she’s the loight av all our eyes, sir, and we
shall miss her sadly. Indade we shall.

MR. STRAUSS—She shall come back. She often shall come. And all you who
so kind have been shall come her to see. Ve never our friends shall
forget, who cared for mine Elsie.

ELSIE—But Jimmy must go, mine fader. I will not without mine Jimmy go.

MR. STRAUSS—But his mudder, Elsie, she will not him let go.

ELSIE—_I_ will let him go. He is mine Jimmy! And he has no mudder.

MR. STRAUSS—No mudder? How dot vos? Who dot poy belong to aretty?

BRIDGET—He was my sister’s bye, and as good a bye as iver walked on two
ligs.

MR. STRAUSS—Let him come mine poy to be—mine Elsie’s brodder. He shall
von edugation have, and in mine pusiness be, by and by. Vill you mine
poy be, Chimmy?

BRIDGET—Sure and he will. It’s not mesilf will stand in his loight,
and he desarves all the good things he’ll get. It’s sorry we’ll
be to lose him and Ilsie too. Bedad she’s the babby av the whole
tinemint—but—Whisht there, Connie! ye musn’t wape. There’s the three to
be loighted, and all the prisints and the candy and apples. All roise,
now, and say Wilcome, and we’ll be afther lighting thot three. (_All
rise, and shout heartily._) Welcome, welcome to Elsie’s father! Rah!
Rah! Rah!

ELSIE—I want the candles to light. Jimmy did say I might! (_Her father
holds her up and she lights one or two, to the accompaniment of the
children’s “ohs!” and “ah’s”! as the curtain falls._)


    CURTAIN.


FOOTNOTES:

[A] Furnished by the publishers of this book. Sheet music, price,
twenty-five cents.

[B] This song is published by Paine Publishing Company. Sheet music,
price, twenty-five cents.




Christmas Entertainments


=CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER.= A new Christmas play by Elizabeth F.
Guptill that abounds in clean, wholesome fun from beginning to end. It
depicts the trials of the teacher of an old-fashioned “deestric school”
in conducting the last rehearsal for the Christmas Entertainment. Some
of the pupils are in “custom,” as big Jake puts it, and “Sandy Claus”
is there. The children go through their parts with gusto and more or
less success. May be given in any schoolroom by any number. Easy to
produce. Costumes simple. Children and grown-ups will be delighted with
CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER. Price, 15 cents.

=A TOPSY TURVY CHRISTMAS.= Another new Christmas play by Elizabeth F.
Guptill. It is decidedly humorous from start to finish. The characters
are strong and at every turn of the play there is a happy surprise for
the audience. The children are tired of “minding,” and the everything
being “just so,” so they start to find a place where they will find
things different. They find it in Topsy Turvy Land, where they have
strange experiences. When at last they have a Topsy Turvy Christmas,
they are ready to go home and be satisfied with things just as they
are. May be given in any schoolroom by any number of children not less
than fifteen. In two short scenes. This clever play will prove a sure
winner wherever produced. Price, 15 cents.

=CHRISTMAS AT McCARTHY’S.= Elizabeth F. Guptill. Here is a new
Christmas play for the older children and as many young children as
are available. It combines in a marked degree the gentlest pathos and
the most sparkling humor. Several nationalities are represented in the
tenement and there is opportunity for the introduction of specialties
if desired. Circumstances cause Elsie, the tenement orphan, to believe
Jimmy, the newsboy, will buy her a Christmas present, and it seems
it is up to Jimmy to do it. Christmas is an unknown quantity at the
tenement, but all agree that Elsie must not be disappointed, and plan
to have one somehow. The entertainment is given by the “inhabitints
thimsilves,” at McCarthy’s. In the midst of the fun, Elsie’s lost
father walks in, and the finale is a general rejoicing. Price, 25c.

=CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES.= By Cecil J. Richmond. A book full of the
choicest new and original dialogues for Christmas, parts for both boys
and girls being well provided for. Some are for the little folks, in
rhyme; some are for intermediate grades, and others for older children.
Every dialogue in this book is decidedly to the point and easy to
prepare. They will delight young and old alike. Contents: Is There
a Santa Claus? 2 small children, Santa Claus and chorus; Herbert’s
Discovery, 2 boys; The Christmas Dinner, 2 little girls, 1 larger girl
and 2 boys; Playing Santa Claus, 1 small and 2 larger boys; A Double
Christmas Gift, 2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 boys. Price, 15
cents.

=EVERGREEN AND HOLLY—SONG AND DRILL.= By Elizabeth F. Guptill. A drill
for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The girls carry
garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the same. After a
spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beautiful Christmas
song, which accompanies the drill. Following the song they wind a
spiral to the center of the stage, unwind same and march off. Complete
instructions are given. It is the best Christmas drill ever published;
easy to produce and decidedly novel. Price, 15 cents.

=PEARL’S CHRISTMAS.= Original, pleasing and interesting Christmas
dialogue with an excellent moral, for 3 boys and 4 girls. Price, 5
cents; seven copies, 25 cents.

=SITTING UP FOR SANTA CLAUS.= A humorous dialogue for 6 girls, 5 boys,
and Santa Claus. If you expect to have a Christmas entertainment, you
surely want this. Single copy, 10 cents; or 10 copies, 60 cents.

Paine Publishing Company, Dayton, Ohio




FAMOUS FIVE CENT DIALOGUES


=DOCTOR AND PATIENT.= =By John M. Drake.= 2 male characters. Very funny.

=DOLL DIALOGUE.= This is a very instructive dialogue for 4 little girls.

=GOING TO MEET AUNT HATTIE.= A dialogue =by Mrs. Hunt=. For 1 male and
3 female characters.

=LOST DOG, THE.= An excellent comic dialogue with following cast: Mr.
Taylor, owner of the dog; Mrs. Taylor; Billy, their son; Chinaman,
Dutchman, Irishman, and Mr. Smith.

=NO PEDDLERS WANTED.= For 4 boys. A funny dialogue that satisfies.

=OUR TRAMPS.= A humorous dialogue for two boys and three girls. Two
of the larger pupils should be dressed to represent grandfather and
grandmother. A small boy and two small girls for tramps, to be dressed
in old clothes belonging to grown-up people.

=PEARL’S CHRISTMAS.= Original, pleasing and interesting Christmas
dialogue with an excellent moral, for 3 boys and 4 girls.

=PETERTOWN PROPOSAL, THE.= A dialogue for two small children, a boy and
a girl.

=PICNIC, A.= A realistic and humorous dialogue for six boys and ten
girls.

=REVIEWING FOR EXAMINATION.= =By Chas. McClintic.= 1 male, 2 female
characters.

=SILENT INTRUDER, THE.= =By Eugene Harold.= A comic dialogue for two
male characters. You should see the clerk placed under the hypnotic
spell.

=SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING, A.= A comic dialogue for a deaf lady and a
tramp. Three copies for ten cents.

=UNCLE PETER’S VISIT TO THE SCHOOL.= A comic dialogue for 2 male and 3
female characters. 10 minutes.

=UNGROUNDED SUSPICIONS.= For three boys. Shows how people are often
unjustly accused. Three copies, =ten cents=.

=THE WAY TO WYNDHAM.= A comic dialogue for 2 male characters. 10
minutes. An excellent dialogue.

=THE WEDDING NOTICE.= A comic Irish dialogue that is rich and rare and
racy.


FAMOUS TEN CENT DIALOGUES

=ARABELLA’S POOR RELATION.= A very popular dialogue, with the following
characters: Arabella, a very proud city girl; Mary Taylor, her poor
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of the poor (?) relations; Robert Clarenden in search of a wife. Four
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=AUNT SALLIE’S DOCTOR.= A Christian Science dialogue for two male and
two female characters. Some fun and some truth in the dialogue.

=AUNT VINEGAR’S MONEY.= This is a dialogue for five female characters,
=by Mrs. A. Hunt=. Some fun and truth in the dialogue.

=DEACON’S DILEMMA, THE.= A comic dialogue, for one male, one female
and a little girl. The deacon and the lady think that matrimony is the
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=DEAF UNCLE ZED.= A comic dialogue in two scenes, for four male and
three female characters. Uncle Zed has lots of cash, and can hear all
right when he wants to.

=DOIG’S EXCELLENT DIALOGUES.= =By Agnes M. Doig.= Contains four very
pleasing short dialogues for little people, as follows: Keeping Store,
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=POOR RELATION, THE.= A comic dialogue in two parts, for five male
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is what one does that counts.

=SCHOOL AFFAIRS IN RIVERHEAD DISTRICT.= Characters: Teacher, children,
and Board of Education. In four scenes.

=SCHOOL GIRL’S STRATEGY, A.= A humorous dialogue for one male and eight
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READINGS AND RECITATIONS


=COMIC ENTERTAINER, THE.= =Edited by H. L. Williams.= An up-to-date
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=LITTLE PIECES FOR LITTLE PEOPLE.= Each set has twenty cards containing
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=RECITATIONS FOR PRIMARY GRADES, ORIGINAL AND UNIQUE.= =By Elizabeth F.
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=Our large Entertainment Catalogue sent on request.=


PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY, DAYTON, OHIO.

       *       *       *       *       *

Transcriber’s Notes:

Obvious punctuation errors repaired.

Page 19, “Chistmas” changed to “Christmas” (sing a beautiful Christmas)





End of Project Gutenberg's Christmas at McCarthy's, by Elizabeth F. Guptill