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Telephoning to Santa Claus

    By
    JOHN D. MACDONALD


    _Price 25 cents each, postpaid_


    _ALL RIGHTS RESERVED_

    _Public performing rights given free
    when 2 or more copies are purchased_


    _Tullar-Meredith Co._

    265 West 36th Street     New York City

    _Copyright 1919 by Tullar Meredith Co._

    _International Copyright Secured_




Telephoning to Santa Claus

Dialogue for Two Little Girls, Ten or Twelve Years Old




SCENE—_Sitting room_


(_For telephone use box ten by fifteen inches or larger. Fix it to an
upright that can be moved out on the platform. Have one end fixed like
trap door. Tie skates to muff about one foot apart. Shove muff in box
first and then skates. Put electric or bicycle bell on box. Run heavy
cord to the window for telephone wire. Have mouthpiece on box, and
have box high enough so that the speaker must stand on a chair. Have a
receiver or an imitation quite a way from the box—perhaps six or seven
feet. Do not hurry._)

_Esther_ (_seated in small rocker_). This is Christmas Eve, Mabel, and
I suppose that Santa Claus has his pack all made up, and is off with
his reindeer to visit all the good little boys and girls all over the
world. I do hope he will be sure and come to (_name your own town or
city_), because I want something very much this year. Just think, last
Christmas I laid awake most all night to see him, but I didn’t see him
at all. I don’t know when he got in the house or how he got out, but he
just fooled me, that’s what he did.

_Mabel._ No doubt he’s started on his journey by this time. I think he
must ride like the wind to get all over the world in a night. Why it
took all night and a day for us to go to Aunt Ella’s last Thanksgiving
time, and that’s not so far as around the world. But I would like to
see Santa this year so I could tell him what I want. They say if Santa
Claus knows what you want he will almost always bring it to you.

_Esther._ Yes, I know he will, because Maggie Brown wrote to him last
year and told him that she wanted a pony and a cart and he brought it
to her.

_Mabel._ And Tommy Carter wrote to him, too, and told him that he
wanted a bicycle and he got it, too. I guess Santa is a nice old man.

_Esther._ And Mrs. Santa must be a nice old lady, too, or she wouldn’t
dress all those nice dolls for Mr. Santa Claus.

_Mabel._ It’s too bad that we did not write to him last week, and then
he surely would have gotten our letter.

_Esther_ (_rising up and putting doll in the chair_). Mabel, why not
telephone to him? Papa has a long distance telephone, and I talked away
down to New York through it once, and I guess if cousin Mary could hear
me in New York, Santa Claus ought to hear me in Santa Claus Land.

_Mabel._ Wasn’t Papa with you when you talked that time, Esther?

_Esther._ Yes, but I remember just how I did it. You just ring the
bell, and talk in the box, and listen for the answer. Let’s try it,
anyway.

_Mabel._ All right, we will, but he may not be at home. He must start
early to travel so far.

_Esther._ I will ask Mrs. Santa Claus anyway. Now let’s do it quick,
before any one comes in.

_Mabel_ (_getting a chair for Esther to stand on_). Here Esther, you
must stand upon this chair. Now be careful not to fall off.

_Esther_ (_gets upon chair_). Now you take the receiver and stand over
there (_points_) and listen to what she says (_Esther rings._)

_Mabel._ Some one is there, Esther. Ask them to give you Santa Claus
Land.

_Esther._ Hello, hello! Give me Santa Claus Land, please.

_Mabel._ She says that this is Santa Claus Land.

_Esther._ Hello! Is this Mrs. Santa Claus?

_Mabel._ She says “yes.” Ask her if Mr. Santa Claus is at home.

_Esther._ Mrs. Santa Claus, Mrs. Santa Claus, is Mr. Santa Claus at
home?

_Mabel._ She says “no,” he isn’t. He has gone on a journey to visit all
the good boys and girls.

_Esther._ Hello, hello, Mrs. Santa Claus. Does Mr. Santa Claus only
make one trip on Christmas Eve?

_Mabel._ She says “yes,” that is all he makes. Ask her to send some one
after him to catch him, because we want something very special.

_Esther._ Mrs. Santa Claus. (_Both wait a moment._)

_Mabel._ She can’t be at the phone, Esther, ring her up again.

_Esther_ (_rings again_). Hello, Mrs. Santa Claus, will you please send
some one after Mr. Santa Claus, to tell him that we want something
special?

_Mabel_ (_waits a moment_). She’s not there yet, Esther. Ring her up
again. (_Esther rings quite hard._) Now she is there, and she wants to
know why we bother her so on Christmas Eve.

_Esther._ Mrs. Santa, please send some one after Mr. Santa, and tell
him that we are two good little girls, and we want a muff and a pair
of skates, and some candy canes as long as your arm. Now don’t forget,
Mrs. Santa—a muff, and skates, and candy canes as long as myself.

_Mabel._ She says that Santa is too far away, and nobody could catch
him now. And she says that we must not bother her any more as she is
busy making her Christmas pies.

_Esther_ (_to Mabel_). But I want my candy cane (_rings several times_).

_Mabel_ (_frightened_). Oh, Esther, Mrs. Santy will be awfully angry
with us. Let’s go away.

_Esther_ (_getting impatient_). Does she answer the ring?

_Mabel._ No. (_Esther rings harder than before._) Now she is there and
she wants to know if it is the same two little girls.

_Esther_ (_into the phone_). Yes, it’s Mabel and me, and we want Santa
Claus to bring us some skates, and a muff and candy canes as long as a
fishing-pole.

_Mabel._ She says that we must be good or Santa won’t come to (_name
your town_) tonight at all. We bother her a lot, she says.

_Esther_ (_into the phone_). Mrs. Santa—Mrs. Santa—(_no answer._)

_Mabel._ She has gone away again, Esther. Let’s not bother her any more
or she may send some one after Santa to tell on us.

_Esther._ I want to know if Santa is coming to (_your town_) tonight,
anyway (_rings long and several times_).

_Mabel_ (_frightened_). I guess she is angry with us, Esther. Please do
let’s stop now. Let’s not ring any more, because I don’t care for the
skates, anyway.

_Esther_ (_to Mabel_). Isn’t she there yet?

_Mabel._ No—I guess not. (_Esther rings and rings._) Oh, Oh, Esther do
stop!

_Esther._ Now—is—she—there?

_Mabel._ Yes, and she wants papa to take those naughty girls away from
the “phone,” or Santa won’t come to (_your town_) tonight. Please do
stop ringing, Esther. (_Listens._) Oh, Esther, I think I hear papa
coming, and he will be angry, too.

_Esther._ No, papa won’t be angry, he would like to have us get our
muff and skates. (_Ring, rings and rings._)

_Mabel_ (_during the ringing_). Oh, Esther, oh, Esther! She says to
stop that ringing!!

_Esther_ (_stamping her foot, keeps on ringing_). I’m mad with her,
Mabel (_then into the phone_). Mrs. Santa—Mrs. Santa—do you hear, Mrs.
Santa? Do—you—hear—Mrs. Santa? We want our muff, and our skates, and
the candy canes as big as a house. Do—you—hear, Mrs. Santa? Mrs. Santa!
I want my muff and skates. (_Rings while talking._) I am mad with you,
Mrs. Santa. I want my muff. (_Here pull the trap and the skates drop
out, pulling the muff also. Esther jumps down from the chair, Mabel
drops the receiver. They seize the skates and muff and say, as they
hold them up_): We’ve got them. We’ve got them, the skates and muff,
the skates and muff!

    (_Exit_)




CHRISTMAS PLAYS


  =(+) OLA: OR A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR MOTHER.= In this
      little 15-minute play the Christmas present the three
      children of the “Good” family find for mother is
      none other than “Ola,” a street waif who comes in
      to get warm while mother is out shopping. Alta, the
      only girl in the family, has been wishing she had a
      sister to share the trials which two (2) wideawake
      brothers bring to her, so she has a double motive in
      wanting to hide Ola away when mother comes and then
      bring her out and present her as a Christmas present
      to mother. Only five characters, 2 boys, 2 girls, and
      1 woman, required. No special costumes needed, and
      the one home scene is simple to provide. Five copies
      required. Price 30 cts., postpaid.

  =(+) MISCHIEVOUS ESTHER AT GRANDMOTHER’S.= It was all
      Grandmother’s fault. Having so many nice things
      hidden about the house at Christmastime should not be
      permitted, when the grandchildren are to be left in
      the house alone while grandmother goes out for the
      afternoon. Of course the boys were not mischievous,
      not even curious, but with Esther it was different,
      for she was a girl. She was a very sweet one though,
      especially when the molasses she got into was all
      over her apron. It was Christmastime and everything
      ends right during this happy season, so putting the
      soiled apron into the box from which she took the
      kitten and putting the kitten into the wash basin
      intended for the apron was only a slight mixup, from
      which mischievous Esther would soon clear herself.
      Three characters, 1 girl and 2 boys, 12 years of age,
      are employed. A simple sitting-room scene; no special
      costumes; time about 15 minutes. 3 copies only
      required. Price 25 cts., postpaid.

  =TELEPHONING TO SANTA CLAUS.= A Christmas dialogue for
      two (2) girls, ten (10) or twelve (12) years of age,
      who conceive the idea of using the telephone to tell
      Santa Claus what they most want, and suffer no great
      surprise when the very things asked for reach them
      through the “phone.” A simple sitting-room scene in
      which a make-believe “phone” is installed furnishes
      the setting. Time of rendition about 10 minutes.
      Price 25 cts., postpaid.

  =(+) WHAT CHRISTMAS DID FOR JERUSHA GRUMBLE.=
      Self-confessedly, she was only 58, but for years
      she had acted like sixty, that is to say,—oh well,
      in nature she had been true to her name, and when
      one’s nature suggests a name like hers, it’s quite
      a job to change it. She couldn’t forget that, many
      years before, she had expected to change her name,
      but, oh well, it wasn’t her fault, and Christmas
      came along and helped her to cover up the past and
      open a new future for her. Of course it couldn’t
      change her name, but this little play tells how
      very effectively it did change her nature, and then
      the contrast between name and nature was a charm in
      the hitherto repulsive life. It’s a pretty story,
      made into a pleasing Christmas play. There are five
      characters, all girls; two scenes, easily arranged.
      Quite ordinary costumes are used and only 5 copies of
      the book required. Time about 30 minutes. Price 30
      cts., postpaid.

  =(+) WANTED—CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.= In Prolog, Three Scenes
      and Epilog. By Hester L. Hopkins. 22 females and
      13 male characters in the entire play, but it can
      be given with 8 females and 7 males by having some
      assume different characters in various scenes. Time
      of rendition, 30 to 40 minutes. If only 15 people
      take part, 12 copies will be required. Price 30 cents
      per copy, postpaid.

  =(+) CHRISTMAS CHEER.= A play in two acts for six
      females. Time of rendition about 20 minutes.

      Four young ladies are the members of a Sunday School
      class whose teacher has asked that each member of the
      class shall do something to bring “Christmas Cheer”
      to someone who would not otherwise be remembered.
      Each of the girls, unbeknown to the other members of
      the class, decides to make the “Jones Family” the
      object of her Christmas visit.

      It turns out to be quite a “Surprise party.” While
      one of the girls prepares the Christmas pie, the
      others of the class provide a pleasant entertainment.
      When the Christmas pie is cut, Caroline and Amanda
      find that it is filled with the presents which the
      class brought. Simple setting and costumes. 6 copies
      required. Price 25 cents. Postpaid.

    _If the number of copies specified as “REQUIRED” is
    ordered at one time, a discount of 33⅓ per cent will be
    allowed from list price on all the above._

       *       *       *       *       *

Transcriber’s Note: Page 4, “land” changed to “Land” (this is Santa
Claus Land)





End of Project Gutenberg's Telephoning to Santa Claus, by John D. MacDonald