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  FIFTY CONTEMPORARY
  ONE-ACT PLAYS

  SELECTED AND EDITED

  BY

  FRANK SHAY

  AND

  PIERRE LOVING


  CINCINNATI
  STEWART & KIDD COMPANY
  PUBLISHERS



  COPYRIGHT, 1920, BY
  STEWART & KIDD COMPANY
  _All rights reserved_
  COPYRIGHT IN ENGLAND




INTRODUCTION


Tradition in the sphere of books is relentlessly imperious and will not
be denied. The present anthology of one-act plays, in defiance of a keen
reluctance on the part of the editors, is condemned at birth to the
heritage of a title; for this practice, as is well known, has been the
unchallenged punctilio of book-making and book-editing from time
immemorial. And yet if the truth be told, the editors have found
precisely this to be by far the most embarrassing of the various tasks
that have arisen in connection with the project. In the selection of a
title, the immediate problem was of course to avoid, so far as possible,
the slightest pretense or assumption of categorical standards of choice
or even the merest intimation that there existed somewhere, attainable
or unattainable, an ideal norm according to which one-act plays could be
faultlessly assessed and pigeon-holed.

In point of fact, so many tolerably good one-act plays are being written
and acted nowadays, that the editors early concluded that the business
of editing a volume of fifty one-act pieces implies, so to speak,
inviting the devil or the spirit that denies to the feast. Thus all
manner of obstinate ribaldries and mischief began to infest our path of
progress.

If it were only a naïve question of adjudging a golden apple to one of
three lovely women, earthly or divine, the matter would have proved
comparatively simple; but the question was more complex: it offered the
public a meager book which could never hope to compress within itself
the core and quiddity of about a thousand plays, or more, which the
editors were privileged to examine from the first moment when they
launched upon their task eight months ago, to this. Moreover it
frequently happened that when the editors had flattered themselves on
having picked a sure winner, the sure winner forthwith got out of hand
and no persuasive cajolings availed to allure it back. In other words,
not a few plays which the editors sought to include in the book were
found unavailable by reason of previous copyrights. In several cases the
copyright had passed entirely out of the control of the author or his
accredited representative.

On the whole, however, both authors and those commissioned to act for
them have responded most sympathetically to the project and have
rendered valuable assistance and support, without which, let me hasten
to add, the present collection would not have been possible.

The reader will observe that plays by American authors predominate over
those of any other single country, and the reason for this is fairly
obvious. American plays, besides being most readily available to the
anthologist, are beginning to reflect the renascence that is gradually
taking place in the American theater. There is growing up in this
country a younger generation of dramatists, which is achieving its most
notable work outside the beaten path of popular recognition, in small
dramatic juntos and in the little theaters. In the main, the form they
employ as being most suitable to their needs, is that offered by the
concise scaffold of the one-act play. These efforts, we hold, deserve a
wider audience.

On the other hand, a mere scrutiny of the table of contents will reveal
that the editors have included a number of foreign plays heretofore not
accessible to English-speaking readers. This aspect of the task, the
effort of pioneer exploration, has indeed been by far the most pleasant,
and most pleasant, too, has proved the discovery of several new American
writers who have produced original work. Of the foreign writers, such
men as Wied and Speenhof, for example, are practically if not totally
unknown to American readers, and they, as well as a handful of others,
are in the opinion of the editors worthy of an American following.

As concerns the procedure or technic of choice, it goes without saying,
surely, that if a congruous method exists at all, it merely embodies a
certain permissible viewpoint. This viewpoint will probably find
unqualified favor with but a handful of readers; others it will frankly
outrage to the extent of their casting it out, lock, stock and barrel.
But this is to be looked for in an undertaking of this caliber in which
individual bias, after all, plays so leading a part. And titling the
volume came to be an arduous process only in virtue of the
afore-mentioned viewpoint, cherished but shadowily defined, or to be
exact, in virtue of the despair which succeeded upon each persistent
attempt to capture what remained perennially elusive. Unfortunately it
still remains elusive. If then a rationalization is demanded by the
reader--a privilege none will question his right to exercise--he will, I
am afraid, have to content himself with something as vague and fantastic
as the following:

Imagine a playhouse, perfectly equipped, plastic and infinitely
adaptable. Invite Arthur Hopkins, John Williams, Winthrop Ames, Sam Hume
and George Cram Cook to manage it; let them run riot on the stage. Clear
the wings and the front of the house of all routineers. Fill the seats
at each performance with the usual gallery-haunters of the New York
theaters. Do not overlook the hosts of experimental playhouse
directors--unleash them in the backyard area with a _kammerspielhaus_ to
toy with at pleasure. Let the personnel of the play-reading committee
consist of such men as Ludwig Lewisohn, Barrett H. Clark, George Jean
Nathan and Francis Hackett. The result will take care of itself. This,
in brief, is the theatrical ménage for which, in the main, the plays
included in this volume were written.

Is this a hair-brained or a frivolous notion? It may be. But, please
note, it expresses, no matter how limpingly, some approach to a
viewpoint. At all events it is the only touchstone applied by the
editors in their choice of fifty contemporary one-act plays.

                                                      PIERRE LOVING.

New York City, Sept., 1920.




CONTENTS


  AUSTRIA:                                                          PAGE
    VON HOFMANNSTHAL (HUGO)    _Madonna Dianora_                       1
    SCHNITZLER (ARTHUR)        _Literature_                           13

  BELGIUM:
    MAETERLINCK (MAURICE)      _The Intruder_                         27

  BOLIVIA:
    MORE (FEDERICO)            _Interlude_                            39

  FRANCE:
    ANCEY (GEORGE)             _Monsieur Lamblin_                     45
    DE PORTO-RICHE (GEORGES)   _Françoise' Luck_                      53

  GERMANY:
    ETTLINGER (KARL)           _Altruism_                             67
    WEDEKIND (FRANK)           _The Tenor_                            77

  GREAT BRITAIN:
    BENNETT (ARNOLD)           _A Good Woman_                         89
    CALDERON (GEORGE)          _The Little Stone House_               99
    CANNAN (GILBERT)           _Mary's Wedding_                      111
    CROCKER (BOSWORTH)         _The Baby Carriage_                   119
    DOWSON (ERNEST)            _The Pierrot of the Minute_           133
    ELLIS (MRS. HAVELOCK)      _The Subjection of Kezia_             145
    HANKIN (ST. JOHN)          _The Constant Lover_                  155

  INDIA:
    MUKERJI (DHAN GOPAL)       _The Judgment of Indra_               165

  IRELAND:
    GREGORY (LADY)             _The Workhouse Ward_                  173

  HOLLAND:
    SPEENHOFF (J. H.)          _Louise_                              181

  HUNGARY:
    BIRO (LAJOS)               _The Grandmother_                     191

  ITALY:
    GIACOSA (GIUSEPPE)         _The Rights of the Soul_              201

  RUSSIA:
    ANDREYEV (LEONID)          _Love of One's Neighbor_              213
    TCHEKOFF (ANTON)           _The Boor_                            227

  SPAIN:
    BENEVENTE (JACINTO)        _His Widow's Husband_                 237
    QUINTEROS (THE)            _A Sunny Morning_                     253

  SWEDEN:
    STRINDBERG (AUGUST)        _The Creditor_                        261
    WIED (GUSTAV)              _Autumn Fires_                        289

  UNITED STATES:
    BEACH (LEWIS)              _Brothers_                            303
    COWAN (SADA)               _In the Morgue_                       313
    CRONYN (GEORGE W.)         _A Death in Fever Flat_               319
    DAVIES (MARY CAROLYN)      _The Slave with Two Faces_            329
    DAY (FREDERIC L.)          _The Slump_                           337
    FLANNER (HILDEGARDE)       _Mansions_                            349
    GLASPELL (SUSAN)           _Trifles_                             361
    GERSTENBERG (ALICE)        _The Pot Boiler_                      371
    HELBURN (THERESA)          _Enter the Hero_                      383
    HUDSON (HOLLAND)           _The Shepherd in the Distance_        395
    KEMP (HARRY)               _Boccaccio's Untold Tale_             407
    LANGNER (LAWRENCE)         _Another Way Out_                     419
    MILLAY (EDNA ST. VINCENT)  _Aria Da Capo_                        431
    MOELLER (PHILIP)           _Helena's Husband_                    443
    MACMILLAN (MARY)           _The Shadowed Star_                   455
    O'NEILL (EUGENE G.)        _Ile_                                 465
    STEVENS (THOMAS WOOD)      _The Nursery Maid of Heaven_          477
    STEVENS (WALLACE)          _Three Travelers Watch a Sunrise_     493
    TOMPKINS (FRANK G.)        _Sham_                                501
    WALKER (STUART)            _The Medicine Show_                   511
    WELLMAN (RITA)             _For All Time_                        517
    WILDE (PERCIVAL)           _The Finger of God_                   529

  YIDDISH:
    ASCH (SHOLOM)              _Night_                               537
    PINSKI (DAVID)             _Forgotten Souls_                     545

  BIBLIOGRAPHY                                                       553




MADONNA DIANORA

  A PLAY IN VERSE

  BY HUGO VON HOFMANNSTHAL
  Translated from the German by Harriet Betty Boas.


  Copyright, 1916, by Richard S. Badger.
  Toronto: The Copp Clark Co., Limited.
  Copyright, 1920, The Four Seas Co., Boston.



MADONNA DIANORA

  A PLAY IN VERSE BY HUGO VON HOFMANNSTHAL

  LA DEMENTE: _"Conosci la storia di Madonna Dianor?"_

  IL MEDICO:  _"Vagamente. Non ricordo piu."...
              Sogno d'un mattino di primavera._


    [SCENE: _The garden of a somber Lombardian Palace. To the right
    the wall of a house, which is at an angle with the moderately high
    garden wall that encloses it. The lower portion of the house is
    built of rough granite, above which rests a strip of plain marble
    forming a sill, which, under each window, is adorned with a lion's
    head in repose. Two windows are visible, each one having a small
    angular balcony with a stone railing, spaced sufficiently to show
    the feet of those standing there. Both windows are curtained to
    the floor. The garden is a mere lawn with a few scattered fruit
    trees. The corner of the garden between the wall and the house is
    crowded with high box wood bushes. A leafy grapevine, trained over
    stunted chestnut trees, forms an arbor which completely fills the
    left side of the stage; only this entrance is visible. The arbor
    slants irregularly to the left rear. Behind the rear wall there
    may be seen (by the gallery spectator) a narrow path beyond which
    is the neighbor's garden wall--no house is visible. In the
    neighbor's garden and as far as the eye can reach, the tops of the
    trees are illuminated by the evening glow of a brilliant sunset._]


DIANORA [_at the window_].

  A harvester I see, and not the last,
  No, not the last, descending from the hill.
  There are three more, and there, and there!
  Have you no end, you never-ending day?
  How have I dragged the hours away from you,
  Torn them to shreds and cast them in the flood,
  As I do now with these poor tattered blooms!
  How have I coaxed each minute of this day.
  Each bracelet, and each earring was clasped on,
  Ta'en off again, then once more tried, until
  'Twas thrown aside, exchanged, and others brought--
  I slowly dripped the fountain, drop on drop
  All through my tresses, dried them languidly;
  With quiet, measured step, out in the sun
  I walked me to and fro--oh! to and fro!
  But 'twas still damp--the path is narrow there.
  I looked among the bushes, for the birds,--
  Less than a zephyr's breath I bent them back,
  Those swaying branches, sat 'neath rustling trees,
  And felt on cheeks and hands in waiting woe
  The little flickerings of warm sunshine.
  I closed my eyes, and almost thought soft lips
  Gently caressing, strayed my clammy brow.
  Sometimes hours come when this duplicity,
  All this concealment, seems so fruitless, and
  I cannot bear it. I can only gaze
  With eyes of steel far up into the sky
  Where flocks of wild geese float, or bend me low
  O'er some mad, rushing plunging waterfall
  That tears my weakling shadow with its flow,--
  I will be patient--why, I must, I am!--
  Madonna--I will climb the steepest mount
  And on my knees will count me every stone
  With this, my rosary, if only now,
  Oh, soon,--this day will sink into the night.
  It is so long! I have its measured tread
  With these same beads been scanning o'er and o'er.
  And now I talk so fev'rishly, instead
  Of counting all the leaves upon that tree.
  Oh! I have finished much too soon again.
  See! See the yeoman, calling to his dog.
  The shadows do upon his garden fall,
  For him the night has come, but brings no joy;
  He fears it, locks his door and is alone.--
  See where the maidens wander to the well.
  I know the manner in which each of them
  Will fill her bucket--that one's prettiest.
  Why does the stranger at the cross roads stay?
  Distant's his goal, I warrant. He unwinds
  And folds again the cloth about his feet.
  What an existence! Draw the thorns, yes, draw
  Them quickly out. You must speed. We all
  Must hurry on, the restless day must down
  And with it take this bright and scarlet glow
  That's lingering in radiance on my cheeks.
  All that is troubling us cast far away,
  Fling wide the thorn into the field
  Where waters flow and sheaves of brilliant flow'rs
  Are bending, glowing, yearning towards the night.--
  I draw my rings from off my fingers, and
  They're happy as the naked children are
  Who scamper quickly to the brook to bathe.--
  Now all the girls have gone--
  Only one maiden's left. Oh, what lovely hair!
  I wonder if she knows its beauty's power?
  Perhaps she's vain--but vanity, thou art
  A plaything only for the empty years.
  When once she has arrived where I am now,
  She'll love her hair, she'll let it clasp her close,
  Enwrap her round and whisper to her low,
  Like echoing harpstrings throbbing with the touch
  Of fev'rish fingers straying in the dark.

    [_She loosens her hair and lets it fall to the left and to the
    right in front of her._]

  What, would you close to me? Down, down with you.--
  I bid you greet him. When the dusk has come,
  And when his hands hold fast the ladder there
  A-sudden he will feel, instead the leaves,
  The cool, firm leaves, a gently spraying rain,
  A rain that falls at eve from golden clouds.

    [_She lets her hair fall over the balustrade._]

  You are so long, and yet you barely reach
  A third the distance; hardly are your ends
  Touching the cold, white marble lion's nose.

    [_She laughs and rises._]

  Ah! there's a spider! No, I will not fling
  You off; I lay my hand once more
  Upon this spot, so you may find again
  The road you wish to speed so quickly on.
  How I have changed! I am bewitched indeed!
  In former days, I could not touch the fruit
  Within a basket, if upon its edge
  A spider had been seen. Now in my hand
  It runs.--Intoxication makes me glad!
  Why, I could walk along the very edge
  Of narrow walls, and would not totter--no!--
  Could I but fall into the waters deep!
  In their cool velvet arms I would be well,
  Sliding in grottoes of bright sapphire hues
  Playing with wondrous beings of the deep
  All golden finned, with eyes benignly sad.
  Yes, if I were immured in the chestnut woods
  Within some ruined walls, my soul were free.
  For there the forest's animals would come
  And tiny birds. The little weasels would
  Brush up against and touch my naked toes
  With their soft snouts and lashes of bright eyes
  While in the moss I lay and ate wild fruit.--
  What's rustling? 'Tis the little porcupine
  Of that first night. What, are you there again,
  Stepped from the dark? Art going on the hunt?
  Oh! If my hunter would but come to me!

    [_Looking up._]

  Now have the shadows vanished! Gone are all
  Those of the pines and those of the dolls,
  The ones that played about the little huts,
  The large ones from the vineyards and the one
  Upon the figtree at the crossroads--gone
  As though the quiet earth had sucked them in!
  The night has really come! The lamp
  Is placed upon the table, closely press
  The sheep together--close within the fold.
  Within the darkest corners of the eaves
  Where the dustvine-leaves meet, goblins do crouch,
  And on the heights from out the clearing step
  The blessed saints to gaze where churches stand
  Well pleased at seeing chapels manifold.
  Now, sweetest plaything, you may also come,
  Finer than spider's web, stronger than steel.

    [_She fastens one end of the silk ladder to an iron hook on the
    floor in the balcony._]

  Let me now play that it were highest time
  And dip you deep down, down into my well,
  To bring this parched one a sparkling draught.

    [_She pulls the ladder up again._]

  Night, night has come! And yet how long might be,
  Endlessly long, the time until he comes.

    [_She wrings her hands._]

  Might be!

    [_With shining eyes._]

  But must not--yet, it might--

    [_She puts up her hair. During this time the nurse has stepped to
    the front window and waters the red flowers there._]

DIANORA [_much frightened_]. Who's there, who's there! Oh, nurse, nurse,
is it you? I've ne'er before seen you in here so late. Has ought
occurred?--

NURSE. Why nothing, gracious one. Do you not see, I quite forgot my
flowers--they've not been watered. On my way from church I suddenly
remembered, quickly came.

DIANORA. Yes, give the flowers water. But how strange you look, your
cheeks are feverish, your eyes are shining--

NURSE [_does not answer_].

DIANORA. Who preached? Tell me, was it that monk, the one--

NURSE [_curtly_]. Yes, gracious one.

DIANORA. The one from Spain, is it not?

NURSE [_does not answer--pause_].

DIANORA [_following her own train of thoughts_]. Can you recall the kind
of child I was?

NURSE. Proud, gracious one, a proud child, very proud.

DIANORA [_very softly_]. How singular! Humanity's so sweet!--What?--

NURSE. I said no word, my gracious Lady, none--

DIANORA. Yes, yes, whom does the Spanish monk resemble?

NURSE. He is different from the others.

DIANORA. No--his appearance! Does he resemble my husband?

NURSE. No, gracious one.

DIANORA. My brother-in-law?

NURSE. No.

DIANORA. Ser Antonio Melzi?

NURSE. No.

DIANORA. Messer Galeazza Swardi?

NURSE. No.

DIANORA. Messer Palla degli Albizzi?

NURSE. His voice is a little like Messer Palla's--yes--I said to my son
yesterday, that his voice reminded me a little of Messer Palla's voice.

DIANORA. The voice--

NURSE. But his eyes are like Messer Guido Schio, the nephew of our
gracious lord.

DIANORA [_is silent_].

NURSE. I met him on the stairs yesterday--he stopped--

DIANORA [_suddenly flaring up_]. Messer Palla?

NURSE. No! Our gracious lord. He ordered me to make some ointment. His
wound is not yet entirely healed.

DIANORA. Oh, yes! The horse's bite--did he show it to you?

NURSE. Yes--the back of the hand is quite healed, but on the palm
there's a small dark spot, a curious spot, such as I've never seen in a
wound--

DIANORA. What horse did it, I wonder?

NURSE. The big roan, gracious Lady.

DIANORA. Yes, yes, I remember. It was on the day of Francesco
Chieregati's wedding. [_She laughs loudly._]

NURSE [_looks at her_].

DIANORA. I was thinking of something else. He told about it at table--he
wore his arm in a sling. How was it, do you remember?

NURSE. What, gracious one?

DIANORA. With the horse--

NURSE. Don't you remember, gracious one?

DIANORA. He spoke about it at table. But I could not hear it. Messer
Palla degli Albizzi sat next to me, and was so merry, and everybody
laughed, so I could not hear just what my husband said.

NURSE. When our gracious lord came to the stall, the roan put back his
ears, foamed with rage and suddenly snapped at the master's hand.

DIANORA. And then?

NURSE. Then the master hit the roan behind the ears with his fist so
that the big, strong horse staggered back as though it were a dog--

DIANORA [_is silent, looks dreamily down_].

NURSE. Oh, our gracious lord is strong! He is the strongest gentleman of
all the nobility the country 'round, and the cleverest.

DIANORA. Yes, indeed. [_Attentively now._] Who?

NURSE. Our master.

DIANORA. Ah! our master. [_Smiles._]--and his voice is so beautiful, and
that is why everybody loves to listen to him in the large, dark church.

NURSE. Listen to whom, gracious one?

DIANORA. To the Spanish monk, to whom else?

NURSE. No, my Lady, it isn't because of his voice that people listen to
him.

DIANORA [_is again not listening_].

NURSE. Gracious one--my Lady--is it true--what people say about the
envoy?

DIANORA. What envoy?

NURSE. The envoy whom the people of Como sent to our master.

DIANORA. What are people saying?

NURSE. They say a shepherd saw it.

DIANORA. What did he see?

NURSE. Our gracious lord was angry at the envoy--would not accept the
letter that the people of Como had written him. Then he took it
anyhow--the letter--read part of it, tore it into bits and held the
pieces before the envoy's mouth and demanded that he swallow them. But
the envoy went backwards, like a crab, and made stary eyes just like a
crab, and everybody laughed, especially Signor Silvio, the master's
brother. Then the master sent for the envoy's mule and had it brought to
the gates. When the envoy was too slow in mounting, the master whistled
for the dogs. The envoy left with his two yeomen. Our master went
hunting with seven men and all the dogs. Towards evening, however, they
say that our gracious lord, and the envoy met at the bridge over the
Adda, there where Verese begins--our master and the envoy met. And the
shepherd was passing and drove his sheep next to the bridge into a
wheat-field--so that the horses would not kill them. And the shepherd
heard our master cry, "There's the one who wouldn't eat, perhaps he'd
like to drink." So four of our men seized the two yeomen, two others
took the envoy, each one took hold of a leg, lifted him from the
saddle--threw him screaming like a madman and struggling fiercely, over
the parapet--he tore out a piece of the sleeve of one, together with the
flesh. The Adda has very steep banks at that place--the river was dark
and swollen from all the snow on the mountains. The envoy did not appear
again, said the shepherd.

    [_Nurse stops, looks questioningly at Dianora._]

DIANORA [_anxiously_]. I do not know.

    [_She shakes off the worried expression, her face assumes the
    dreamy, inwardly happy expression._]

DIANORA. Tell me something about his preaching--the Spaniard's
preaching.

NURSE. I don't know how to express it, gracious one.

DIANORA. Just say a little. Does he preach of so many things?

NURSE. No, almost always about one thing.

DIANORA. What?

NURSE. Of resignation to the Lord's will.

DIANORA [_looks at her and nods_].

NURSE. Gracious one, you must understand, that is all.

DIANORA. What do you mean by--all----

NURSE [_while speaking, she is occupied with the flowers_]. He says that
all of life is in that--there's nothing else. He says everything is
inevitable and that's the greatest joy--to realize that everything is
inevitable--that is good, and there is no other good. The sun must glow,
and stone must be on the dumb earth and every living creature must give
utterance to its voice--whether he will or no--we must----

DIANORA [_is thinking--like a child_].

NURSE [_goes from window--pause_].

DIANORA.

  As though 'twere mirrored in a placid pool
  Self-prisoned lies the world asleep, adream--
  The ivy's tendrils clamber through the dusk
  Closely embracing thousandfold the wall.
  An arbor vitae towers. At its feet
  The quiet waters mirror what they see.
  And from this window, on this balustrade
  Of cool and heavy stones, I bend me o'er
  Stretching my arms so they may touch the ground.
  I feel as though I were a dual being
  Gazing within me at my other self.

    [_Pause._]

  Methinks such thoughts crowd in upon the soul
  When grim, inexorable death is near.

    [_She shudders and crosses herself._]

NURSE [_has returned several times to the window; in one hand she
carries scissors with which she clips the dry branches from the
plants_].

DIANORA [_startled_]. What? Good night, nurse, farewell. I'm dizzy,
faint.

NURSE [_goes off_].

DIANORA [_with a great effort_]. Nurse! Nurse!

NURSE [_comes back_].

DIANORA. If the Spanish monk preaches to-morrow, I'll go with you.

NURSE. Yes, to-morrow, my Lady, if the Lord spare us.

DIANORA [_laughs_]. Certainly,--if the Lord spare us. Good night.

    [_A long pause._]

DIANORA.

  His voice is all he has, the strange monk,
  Yet people flock, hang on his words like bees
  Upon the dark sweet blossoms, and they say
  "This man is not like others--he
  Does shake our souls, his voice melts into space,
  Floats down to us, and penetrates our being--
  We are all like children when we hear his voice."--
  Oh, if a judge could have his lofty brow,
  Who would not kneel upon the steps to read
  Each sentence from his clear and shining brow.
  How sweet to kneel upon the honest step
  And know one's fate were safe within that hand,
  Within those kingly, good and noble hands.

       *       *       *       *       *

  And oh, his merriment! How exquisite!
  To see such people merry is a joy,
  --He took me by the hand and drew me on.
  My blood ran magic, backward stretched my hand.
  The laughing throng upon it closely hung
  A sinuous chain, we flew along arbored walks
  Down through a deep and steep and narrow path
  Cool as a well, and bordered very close
  With cypresses that lived a century--
  Then down the brightest slope.
  Up to my knees the wild, warm flowers kissed
  Where we were running like a breeze in May.
  Then he released me, and along he leapt
  Upon the marble stairs between cascades;
  Astride he sat upon the dolphin's back
  And held himself up on the arms of fauns,
  Upon the dripping Triton's shoulders stood
  Mounting always; high, higher still he clomb,
  The wildest, handsomest of all the gods!--
  Beneath his feet the waters bubbled forth,
  They sparkled, foamed, and showered the air with spray,
  Falling on me. The waves' tumultuous din
  Drowned out, engulfed the entire world,
  Beneath his feet the waters bubbled forth,
  They sparkled, foamed and showered their spray on me.

    [_Pause--footsteps are heard in the distance._]

DIANORA. Sh! Footsteps! No, it is so much too soon--And yet--and
yet--[_long waiting_] they come.

    [_Pause._]

  They do not come--
  Oh, no, they do not come--They're shuffling steps,
  They shuffle down the vineyard--now they reel--
  There are the steps! A drunkard, verily!
  Stay in the street, intoxicated one.
  What would you do within our garden gates?--
  No moon shines here to-night--were there a moon
  I were not here--no, no, I were not here.
  The little stars are flick'ring restlessly,
  They cannot light the way for a drunken one,
  But one not drunken from a musty wine.
  His footsteps are as light as wind on grass
  And surer than the tread of the young lion.

    [_Pause._]

  These hours are martyrdom! No, no, no, no,
  They're not--no, they are beautiful and good,
  And lovely and so sweet! He comes, he comes;
  A long, long way already he has walked--
  The last tall tree down there has seen him come---
  It could--if that dark strip of woodland boughs
  Did not obscure the road--and 'twere not dark--

    [_Pause._]

  He comes--as certainly as I do now
  Upon this hook bend this frail ladder--comes.
  As surely as I now do let it down
  In rustling murmur in the leaves enmeshed,
  As certainly as it now swaying hangs,
  Quivering softly as I bend me low,
  Myself aquiver with a greater thrill--

    [_She remains for a long time bent over the balustrade. Suddenly
    she seems to hear the curtain between her balcony and the room
    thrown back. She turns her head and her features are distorted in
    deathly fear and terror. Messer Braccio stands silently in the
    door. He wears a simple, dark green robe, carries no weapons--his
    shoes are low. He is very tall and strong. His face resembles the
    portraits of aristocrats and captains of mercenaries. He has an
    extremely large forehead and small dark eyes, closely cropped,
    curly black hair and a small beard that covers his cheeks and
    chin._]

DIANORA [_wants to speak, but is unable to utter a sound_].

MESSER BRACCIO [_beckons to her to pull up the ladder_].

DIANORA [_does so like an automaton and drops the bundle, as in a
trance, at her feet_].

BRACCIO [_looks at her quietly, reaches with his right hand to his left
hip, also with his left hand; notices that he has no dagger. He moves
his lips impatiently, glances toward the garden, then over his
shoulders. He lifts his right hand for a moment and examines his palm,
then walks firmly and quickly back into the room_].

DIANORA [_looks after him incessantly; she cannot take her eyes away
from him. As the curtain closes behind his retreating form, she passes
her fingers excitedly over her face and through her hair, then folds her
hands and murmurs a prayer, her lips wildly convulsed. Then she throws
her arms backwards and folds them above the stone pillar, in a gesture
that indicates a desperate resolve and a triumphant expectancy_].

BRACCIO [_steps into the doorway again, carrying an armchair, which he
places in the opening of the door. He seats himself on it, facing his
wife. His face does not change. From time to time he raises his right
hand mechanically and examines the little wound upon his palm_].

BRACCIO [_his tone is cold, rather disdainful. He points with his foot
and eyes to the ladder_]. Who?

DIANORA [_raises her shoulders, and drops them slowly_].

BRACCIO. I know!

DIANORA [_raises her shoulders and drops them slowly. Her teeth are
clenched_].

BRACCIO [_moves his hand, barely glances at his wife, and looks again
into the garden_]. Palla degli Albizzi!

DIANORA [_between her teeth_]. How ugly the most beautiful name becomes
when uttered by unseemly tongue.

BRACCIO [_looks at her as though he were about to speak, but remains
silent. Pause_].

BRACCIO. How old are you?

DIANORA [_does not answer_].

BRACCIO. Fifteen and five. You are twenty years old.

DIANORA [_does not answer. Pause_].

DIANORA [_almost screaming_]. My father's name was Bartholomeno
Colleone--you can let me say the Lord's Prayer and the Hail Mary, and
then kill me, but not let me stand here like a fettered beast.

BRACCIO [_looks at her as though surprised; does not answer--glances at
his hand_].

DIANORA [_strokes back her hair slowly, folds her elbows over her
breast, stares at him, then drops her arms, seems to divine his plan.
Her voice is completely changed and is like a string that is stretched
to the breaking-point_].

  One of my women I desire, who will--

    [_She stops; her voice seems to give out._]

  First braid my hair--'tis tangled, disarranged.

BRACCIO. You often help yourself without a maid.

DIANORA [_presses her lips together, says nothing, smoothes her hair at
the temples, folds her hands_].

  I have no children. My mother I saw once--
  I saw her once, just before she died.
  My father led me and my sister to
  A vaulted, high, severe and gloomy room.
  The suff'rer I saw not; her hand alone
  Hung like a greeting to me--that I kissed.
  About my father I remember this.
  He wore an armor of green burnished gold
  With darker clasps--two always helped him mount
  Upon his horse, for he was very old--
  I hardly knew Medea. Not much joy,
  Had she, my sister. Thin of hair,
  Her forehead and her temples older seemed,
  Much older, than her mouth and her hands to me--
  She always held a flower in her hand.--
  O Lord, have mercy unto these sweet souls
  As unto mine, and bid them welcome me,
  Greeting me kindly when I come to Thee.
  I cannot kneel--there is no space to kneel.

BRACCIO [_rises, pushes the chair into the room to make space for her.
She does not notice him_].

DIANORA.

  There's more--I must remember--Bergamo,
  Where I was born--the house in Feltre where
  The uncles and the cousins were....
  Then they put me upon a gallant steed
  Caparisoned most splendidly--they rode,
  Cousins and many others by my side.
  And so I came here, from whence I now go....

    [_She has leaned back and looked up at the glittering stars upon
    the black sky--she shudders_].

  I wanted something else--

    [_She searches her memory._]

  In Bergamo where I was taught to walk
  Upon the path that brought me here, I was
  Often--most frequently through pride,--and now
  I am contrite and would go to confession
  For all those errors, and some graver ones;--
  When I [_She ponders._]--three days after Saint Magdalen
  Was riding homeward from the chase with him.
  This man, here, who's my husband--others too--
  Upon the bridge an old lame beggar lay.
  I knew that he was old and ill and sore
  And there was something in his tired eyes
  Reminded me of my dead father--but
  Nevertheless--only because the one
  Riding beside me touched my horse's bridle,
  I did not pull aside, but let the dust
  My horse kicked up, blind, choke that poor old man.
  Yes, so close I rode that with his hands
  He had to lift aside his injured leg.
  This I remember, this I now regret.

BRACCIO. The one beside you held your horse's bridle? [_He looks at
her._]

DIANORA [_answers his look, understands him, says trenchantly_]:

  Yes! Then as often since--as often since--
  And yet how rarely after all!
  How meager is all joy--a shallow stream
  In which you're forced to kneel, that it may reach
  Up to your shoulders--

BRACCIO.

  Of my servants who,--of all your women,
  Who knew of these things?

DIANORA [_is silent_].

BRACCIO [_makes a disdainful gesture_].

DIANORA.

  Falsely, quite falsely, you interpret now
  My silence. How can I tell you who might know?--
  But if you think that I am one of those
  Who hides behind her hireling's her joy,
  You know me ill. Now note--note and take heed.
  Once may a woman be--yes, once she may
  Be as I was for twelve weeks--once she may be
  If she had found no need of veil before,
  All veiled, protected by her own great pride
  As by a shield--she once may rend that veil,
  Feel her cheeks crimson, burning in the sun.
  Horrible she, who twice could such a thing!
  I'm not of these--that surely you must know.
  Who knew?--Who guessed? I never hid my thoughts?
  Your brother must have known--just as you knew,
  Your brother just as you. Ask him, ask him!

    [_Her voice is strange, almost childlike, yet exalted._]

  That day--'twas in July, Saint Magdalen
  Francesco Chieregati's wedding day--
  That nasty thing upon your hand came then,
  Came on that day. Well, I remember too
  We dined out in the arbor--near the lake,
  And he sat next to me, while opposite
  Your brother sat. Then passing me the fruit,
  Palla did hold the heavy gold dish
  Of luscious peaches so that I might take.
  My eyes were fastened on his hands--I longed
  To humbly kiss his hands, there,--before all.
  Your brother--he's malicious and no fool--
  Caught this my glance, and must have guessed my thought.
  He paled with anger.--Sudden came a dog,
  A tall dark greyhound brushed his slender head
  Against my hand--the left one by my side,--
  Your stupid brother kicked in furious rage
  With all his might, the dog--only because
  He could not with a shining dagger pierce
  Me and my lover. I but looked at him.
  Caressed and stroked the dog, and had to laugh

    [_She laughs immoderately and shrilly in a way that threatens to
    be a scream, or to break into tears at any moment._]

BRACCIO [_seems to listen_].

DIANORA [_also listens. Her face expresses horrible tension. Soon she
cannot bear it, begins to speak again almost deliriously_].

  Why whosoever saw me walk would know!
  Walked I not differently? Did not I ride
  Ecstatically? I could look at you
  And at your brother and this gloomy house
  And feel as light as air, floating in space.
  The myriad trees seemed all to come to me
  Filled with the sunlight dancing toward me,
  All paths were open in the azure air--
  Those sunlit paths were all the roads to him.
  To start with fright was sweet--he might appear
  From any corner, any bush or tree--

    [_Her language becomes incoherent from terror, because she sees
    that Braccio has drawn the curtains behind him close. Her eyes are
    unnaturally wide open--her lips drawn more constantly._]

BRACCIO [_in a tone that the actor must find for himself, not loud, not
low, not strong, nor yet weak, but penetrating_].

  If I, your husband, had not at this hour
  Come to your chamber to fetch me a salve,
  An ointment for my wounded hand--
  What would--
  What had you done, intended, meant to do?

DIANORA [_looks at him, as though distraught, does not understand his
latest question. Her right hand presses her forehead--with the left she
shakes the ladder before his face, lets it fall at his feet, one end
remains tied, shrieks_].

  What had I done? What had I done, you ask?
  Why, waited thus--I would have waited--

    [_She sways her open arms before him like one intoxicated, throws
    herself around, with the upper part of her body over the
    balustrade, stretches her arms towards the ground--her hair falls
    over them._]

BRACCIO [_with a hurried gesture tears off a piece of his sleeve and
winds it around his right hand. With the sureness of a wild animal on
the hunt, he grasps the ladder that is lying there, like a thin, dark
rope, with both hands, makes a loop, throws it over his wife's head and
pulls her body towards him._]


  [_During this time the curtain falls._]




LITERATURE

  A COMEDY

  BY ARTHUR SCHNITZLER
  TRANSLATED BY PIERRE LOVING.


  Copyright, 1917, by Stewart & Kidd Company.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS

    MARGARET.
    CLEMENT.
    GILBERT.


  LITERATURE is reprinted from "Comedies of Words" by Arthur Schnitzler,
  by permission of Messrs. Stewart & Kidd Company, Cincinnati, Ohio.



LITERATURE

A COMEDY BY ARTHUR SCHNITZLER


    [SCENE: _Moderately well, but quite inexpensively furnished
    apartments occupied by Margaret. A small fireplace, a table, a
    small escritoire, a settee, a wardrobe cabinet, two windows in the
    back, entrances left and right._

    _As the curtain rises, Clement, dressed in a modish,
    tarnished-gray sack suit, is discovered reclining in a fauteuil
    near the fireplace. He is smoking a cigarette and perusing a
    newspaper. Margaret is standing at the window. She walks back and
    forth, finally goes up directly behind Clement, and playfully
    musses his hair. Evidently she has something troublesome on her
    mind._]


CLEM. [_reading, seizes her hand and kisses it_]. Horner's certain about
his pick and doubly certain about mine; Waterloo five to one; Barometer
twenty-one to one; Busserl seven to one; Attila sixteen to one.

MARG. Sixteen to one!

CLEM. Lord Byron one and one-half to one--that's us, my dear.

MARG. I know.

CLEM. Besides, it's sixteen weeks yet to the Handicap.

MARG. Evidently he looks upon it as a clean "runaway."

CLEM. Not quite--but where did you pick up your turf-lingo, Brava?

MARG. Oh, I used this kind of talk before I knew you. Is it settled that
you are to ride Lord Byron yourself?

CLEM. How absurd to ask! You forget, it's the Damenpreis Handicap. Whom
else could I get to ride him? And if Horner thought for a moment that I
wasn't going to ride him, he'd never put up one and a half to one. You
may stake all you've got on that.

MARG. I'm well aware of that. You are _so_ handsome when you mount a
horse--honest and truly, too sweet for anything! I shall never forget
that day in Munich, when I first made your acquaintance--

CLEM. Please do not remind me of it. I had rotten luck that day. But you
can believe me, Windy would never have won if it weren't for the ten
lengths he gained at the start. But this time--never! You know, of
course, it is decided; we leave town the same day.

MARG. Same evening, you mean.

CLEM. If you will--but why?

MARG. Because it's been arranged we're to be married in the morning,
hasn't it?

CLEM. Quite so.

MARG. I am so happy. [_Embraces him._] Now, where shall we spend our
honeymoon?

CLEM. I take it we're agreed. Aren't we? On the estate.

MARG. Oh, of course, later. Aren't we going to take in the Riviera, as a
preliminary tidbit?

CLEM. AS for that, it all depends on the Handicap. If we win--

MARG. Surest thing!

CLEM. And besides, in April the Riviera's not at all good _ton_.

MARG. Is that your reason?

CLEM. Of course it is, my love. In your former way of life, there were
so few opportunities for your getting a clear idea of fashion--Pardon
me, but whatever there was, you must admit, really had its origin in the
comic journals.

MARG. Clem, please!

CLEM. Well, well. We'll see. [_Continues reading._] Badegast fifteen to
one--

MARG. Badegast? There isn't a ghost of a show for him!

CLEM. Where did you get that information?

MARG. Szigrati himself gave me a tip.

CLEM. Where--and when?

MARG. Oh, this morning in the Fredenau, while you were talking with
Milner.

CLEM. Now, look here; Szigrati isn't fit company for you.

MARG. Jealous?

CLEM. Not at all. Moreover, let it be understood that from now on I
shall introduce you everywhere as my fiancée. [_Margaret kisses him._]

CLEM. Now, what did Szigrati say?

MARG. That he's not going to enter Badegast in the Handicap at all.

CLEM. Well, don't you believe everything Szigrati is likely to say. He's
circulating the rumor that Badegast will not be entered so that the odds
may be bigger.

MARG. Nonsense! That's too much like an investment.

CLEM. So you don't believe there is such a thing as investment in this
game? For a great many it's all a commercial enterprise. Do you think
that a fellow of Szigrati's ilk cares a fig for sport? He might just as
well speculate on the market, and wouldn't realize the difference.
Anyway, as far as Badegast is concerned, one hundred to one wouldn't be
too much to put up against him.

MARG. Really? I found him in first-rate fettle this morning.

CLEM. Then you saw Badegast, too?

MARG. Certainly. Didn't Butters put him through his paces, right behind
Busserl?

CLEM. But Butters isn't riding for Szigrati. He was only a stableboy.
Badegast can be in as fine fettle as he chooses--it's all the same to
me. He's nothing but a blind. Some day, Margaret, with the aid of your
exceptional talent, you will be able to distinguish the veritable
somebodies from the shams. Really, it's remarkable with what proficiency
you have, so to speak, insinuated yourself into all these things. You go
beyond my expectations.

MARG. [_chagrined_]. Pray, why do I go beyond your expectations? All
this, as you know, is not so new to me. At our house we entertained very
good people--Count Libowski and people of that sort--and at my
husband's--

CLEM. Quite so. No question about that. As a matter of principle, you
realize, I've no grudge against the cotton industry.

MARG. Even if my husband happened to be the owner of a cotton mill, that
didn't have to effect my personal outlook on life, did it? I always
sought culture in my own way. Now, don't let's talk of that period of my
life. It's dead and buried, thank heaven!

CLEM. Yes. But there's another period which lies nearer.

MARG. I know. But why mention it?

CLEM. Well, I simply mean that you couldn't possibly have heard much
about sportsmanship from your friends in Munich--at least, as far as I
am able to judge.

MARG. I do hope you will stop tormenting me about those friends in whose
company you first made my acquaintance.

CLEM. Tormenting you? Nonsense! Only it's incomprehensible to me how you
ever got amongst those people.

MARG. You speak of them as if they were a gang of criminals.

CLEM. Dearest, I'd stake my honor on it, some of them looked the very
picture of pickpockets. Tell me, how did you manage to do it? I can't
understand how you, with your refined taste--let alone your purity and
the scent you used--could have tolerated their society. How could you
have sat at the same table with them?

MARG. [_laughing_]. Didn't you do the same?

CLEM. Next to them--not with them. And for your sake--merely for your
sake, as you know. To do them justice, however, I will admit that many
bettered upon closer acquaintance. There were some interesting people
among them. You mustn't for a moment believe, dearest, that I hold
myself superior to those who happen to be shabbily dressed. That's
nothing against them. But there was something in their conduct, in their
manners, which was positively revolting.

MARG. It wasn't quite so bad.

CLEM. Don't take offense, dear. I said there were some interesting
people among them. But that a lady should feel at ease in their company,
for any length of time, I cannot and do not pretend to understand.

MARG. You forget, dear Clem, that in a sense I'm one of them--or was at
one time.

CLEM. Now, please! For my sake!

MARG. They were artists.

CLEM. Thank goodness, we've returned to the old theme.

MARG. Yes, because it hurts me to think you always lose sight of that
fact.

CLEM. Lose sight of that fact! Nonsense! You know what pained me in your
writings--things entirely personal.

MARG. Let me tell you, Clem, there are women who, in my situation, would
have done worse than write poetry.

CLEM. But what sort of poetry! What sort of poetry! [_Takes a slender
volume from the mantel-shelf._] That's what repels me. I assure you,
every time I see this book lying here; every time I think of it, I blush
with shame that it was you who wrote it.

MARG. That's why you fail to understand-- Now, don't take offense. If
you did understand, you'd be quite perfect, and that, obviously, is
impossible. Why does it repel you? You know I didn't live through all
the experiences I write about.

CLEM. I hope not.

MARG. The poems are only visions.

CLEM. That's just it. That's what makes me ask: How can a lady indulge
in visions of that character? [_Reads._] "Abandoned on thy breast and
suckled by thy lips" [_shaking his head_]. How can a lady write such
stuff--how can a lady have such stuff printed? That's what I simply
cannot make out. Everybody who reads will inevitably conjure up the
person of the authoress, and the particular breast mentioned, and the
particular abandonment hinted at.

MARG. But, I'm telling you, no such breast ever existed.

CLEM. I can't bring myself to imagine that it did. That's lucky for both
of us, Margaret. But where did these visions originate? These glowing
passion-poems could not have been inspired by your first husband.
Besides, he could never appreciate you, as you yourself always say.

MARG. Certainly not. That's why I brought suit for divorce. You know the
story. I just couldn't bear living with a man who had no other interest
in life than eating and drinking and cotton.

CLEM. I dare say. But that was three years ago. These poems were written
later.

MARG. Quite so. But consider the position in which I found myself--

CLEM. What do you mean? You didn't have to endure any privation? In this
respect you must admit your husband acted very decently toward you. You
were not under the necessity of earning your own living. And suppose the
publishers did pay you one hundred gulden for a poem--surely they don't
pay more than that--still, you were not bound to write a book of this
sort.

MARG. I did not refer to position in a material sense. It was the state
of my soul. Have you a notion how--when you came to know me--things were
considerably improved. I had in many ways found myself again. But in the
beginning! I was so friendless, so crushed! I tried my hand at
everything; I painted, I gave English lessons in the pension where I
lived. Just think of it! A divorcee, having nobody--

CLEM. Why didn't you stay in Vienna?

MARG. Because I couldn't get along with my family. No one appreciated
me. Oh, what people! Did any one of them realize that a woman of my type
asks more of life than a husband, pretty dresses and social position? My
God! If I had had a child, probably everything would have ended
differently--and maybe not. I'm not quite lacking in accomplishments,
you know. Are you still prepared to complain? Was it not for the best
that I went to Munich? Would I have made your acquaintance else?

CLEM. You didn't go there with that object in view.

MARG. I wanted to be free spiritually, I mean. I wanted to prove to
myself whether I could succeed through my own efforts. And, admit,
didn't it look as if I was jolly well going to? I had made some headway
on the road to fame.

CLEM. H'm!

MARG. But you were dearer to me than fame.

CLEM [_good-naturedly_]. And surer.

MARG. I didn't give it a thought. I suppose it's because I loved you
from the very start. For in my dreams, I always conjured up a man of
your likeness. I always seemed to realize that it could only be a man
like you who would make me happy. Blood--is no empty thing. Nothing
whatever can weigh in the balance with that. You see, that's why I can't
resist the belief--

CLEM. What?

MARG. Oh, sometimes I think I must have blue blood in my veins, too.

CLEM. How so?

MARG. It's not improbable?

CLEM. I'm afraid I don't understand.

MARG. But I told you that members of the nobility were entertained at
our house--

CLEM. Well, and if they were?

MARG. Who knows--

CLEM. Margaret, you're positively shocking. How can you hint at such a
thing!

MARG. I can never say what I think in your presence! That's your only
shortcoming--otherwise you would be quite perfect. [_She smiles up to
him._] You've won my heart completely. That very first evening, when you
walked into the café with Wangenheim, I had an immediate presentiment:
this is he! You came among that group, like a soul from another world.

CLEM. I hope so. And I thank heaven that somehow you didn't seem to be
altogether one of them, either. No. Whenever I call to mind that
junto--the Russian girl, for instance, who because of her close-cropped
hair gave the appearance of a student--except that she did not wear a
cap--

MARG. Baranzewitsch is a very gifted painter.

CLEM. No doubt. You pointed her out to me one day in the picture
gallery. She was standing on a ladder at the time, copying. And then the
fellow with the Polish name--

MARG. [_beginning_]. Zrkd--

CLEM. Spare yourself the pains. You don't have to use it now any more.
He read something at the café while I was there, without putting himself
out the least bit.

MARG. He's a man of extraordinary talent. I'll vouch for it.

CLEM. Oh, no doubt. Everybody is talented at the café. And then that
yokel, that insufferable--

MARG. Who?

CLEM. You know whom I mean. That fellow who persisted in making tactless
observations about the aristocracy.

MARG. Gilbert. You must mean Gilbert.

CLEM. Yes. Of course. I don't feel called upon to make a brief for my
class. Profligates crop up everywhere, even among writers, I understand.
But, don't you know it was very bad taste on his part while one of us
was present?

MARG. That's just like him.

CLEM. I had to hold myself in check not to knock him down.

MARG. In spite of that, he was quite interesting. And, then, you mustn't
forget he was raving jealous of you.

CLEM. I thought I noticed that, too. [_Pause._]

MARG. Good heavens, they were all jealous of you. Naturally enough--you
were so unlike them. They all paid court to me because I wouldn't
discriminate in favor of any one of them. You certainly must have
noticed that, eh? Why are you laughing?

CLEM. Comical--is no word for it! If some one had prophesied to me that
I was going to marry a regular frequenter of the Café Maxmillian--I
fancied the two young painters most. They'd have made an incomparable
vaudeville team. Do you know, they resembled each other so much and
owned everything they possessed in common--and, if I'm not mistaken, the
Russian on the ladder along with the rest.

MARG. I didn't bother myself with such things.

CLEM. And, then, both must have been Jews?

MARG. Why so?

CLEM. Oh, simply because they always jested in such a way. And their
enunciation.

MARG. You may spare your anti-Semitic remarks.

CLEM. Now, sweetheart, don't be touchy. I know that your blood is not
untainted, and I have nothing whatever against the Jews. I once had a
tutor in Greek who was a Jew. Upon my word! He was a capital fellow. One
meets all sorts and conditions of people. I don't in the least regret
having made the acquaintance of your associates in Munich. It's all the
weave of our life experience. But I can't help thinking that I must
have appeared to you like a hero come to rescue you in the nick of time.

MARG. Yes, so you did. My Clem! Clem! [_Embraces him._]

CLEM. What are you laughing at?

MARG. Something's just occurred to me.

CLEM. What?

MARG. "Abandoned on thy breast and--"

CLEM. [_vexed_]. Please! Must you always shatter my illusions?

MARG. Tell me truly, Clem, wouldn't you be proud if your fiancée, your
wife, were to become a great, a famous writer?

CLEM. I have already told you. I am rooted in my decision. And I promise
you that if you begin scribbling or publishing poems in which you paint
your passion for me, and sing to the world the progress of our
love--it's all up with our wedding, and off I go.

MARG. You threaten--you, who have had a dozen well-known affairs.

CLEM. My dear, well-known or not, I didn't tell anybody. I didn't bring
out a book whenever a woman abandoned herself on my breast, so that any
Tom, Dick or Harry could buy it for a gulden and a half. There's the
rub. I know there are people who thrive by it, but, as for me, I find it
extremely coarse. It's more degrading to me than if you were to pose as
a Greek goddess in flesh-colored tights at Ronacher's. A Greek statue
like that doesn't say "Mew." But a writer who makes copy of everything
goes beyond the merely humorous.

MARG. [_nervously_]. Dearest, you forget that the poet does not always
tell the truth.

CLEM. And suppose he only vaporizes. Does that make it any better?

MARG. It isn't called vaporizing; it's "_distillation_."

CLEM. What sort of an expression is that?

MARG. We disclose things we never experience, things we dreamed--plainly
invented.

CLEM. Don't say "we" any more, Margaret. Thank goodness, that is past.

MARG. Who knows?

CLEM. What?

MARG. [_tenderly_]. Clement, I must tell you all.

CLEM. What is it?

MARG. It is not past; I haven't given up my writing.

CLEM. Why?

MARG. I'm still going on with my writing, or, rather, I've finished
writing another book. Yes, the impulse is stronger than most people
realize. I really believe I should have gone to pieces if it hadn't been
for my writing.

CLEM. What have you written now?

MARG. A novel. The weight was too heavy to be borne. It might have
dragged me down--down. Until to-day, I tried to hide it from you, but it
had to come out at last. Künigel is immensely taken with it.

CLEM. Who's Künigel?

MARG. My publisher.

CLEM. Then it's been read already.

MARG. Yes, and lots more will read it. Clement, you will have cause to
be proud, believe me.

CLEM. You're mistaken, my dear. I think--but, tell me, what's it about?

MARG. I can't tell you right off. The novel contains the greatest part,
so to speak, and all that can be said of the greatest part.

CLEM. My compliments!

MARG. That's why I'm going to promise you never to pick up a pen any
more. I don't need to.

CLEM. Margaret, do you love me?

MARG. What a question! You and you only. Though I have seen a great
deal, though I have gadded about a great deal, I have experienced
comparatively little. I have waited all my life for your coming.

CLEM. Well, let me have the book.

MARG. Why--why? What do you mean?

CLEM. I grant you, there was some excuse in your having written it; but
it doesn't follow that it's got to be read. Let me have it, and we'll
throw it into the fire.

MARG. Clem!

CLEM. I make that request. I have a right to make it.

MARG. Impossible! It simply--

CLEM. Why? If I wish it; if I tell you our whole future depends on it.
Do you understand? Is it still impossible?

MARG. But, Clement, the novel has already been printed.

CLEM. What! Printed?

MARG. Yes. In a few days it will be on sale on all the book-stalls.

CLEM. Margaret, you did all that without a word to me--?

MARG. I couldn't do otherwise. When once you see it, you will forgive
me. More than that, you will be proud.

CLEM. My dear, this has progressed beyond a joke.

MARG. Clement!

CLEM. Adieu, Margaret.

MARG. Clement, what does this mean? You are leaving?

CLEM. As you see.

MARG. When are you coming back again?

CLEM. I can't say just now. Adieu.

MARG. Clement! [_Tries to hold him back._]

CLEM. Please. [_Goes out._]

MARG. [_alone_]. Clement! What does this mean? He's left me for good.
What shall I do? Clement! Is everything between us at an end? No. It
can't be. Clement! I'll go after him. [_She looks for her hat. The
doorbell rings._] Ah, he's coming back. He only wanted to frighten me.
Oh, my Clement! [_Goes to the door. Gilbert enters._]

GIL. [_to the maid_]. I told you so. Madame's at home. How do you do,
Margaret?

MARG. [_astonished_]. You?

GIL. It's I--I. Amandus Gilbert.

MARG. I'm so surprised.

GIL. So I see. There's no cause for it. I merely thought I'd stop over.
I'm on my way to Italy. I came to offer you my latest book for auld lang
syne. [_Hands her the book. As she does not take it, he places it on the
table._]

MARG. It's very good of you. Thanks!

GIL. You have a certain proprietorship in that book. So you are living
here?

MARG. Yes, but--

GIL. Opposite the stadium, I see. As far as furnished rooms go, it's
passable enough. But these family portraits on the walls would drive me
crazy.

MARG. My housekeeper's the widow of a general.

GIL. Oh, you needn't apologize.

MARG. Apologize! Really, the idea never occurred to me.

GIL. It's wonderful to hark back to it now.

MARG. To what?

GIL. Why shouldn't I say it? To the small room in Steinsdorf street,
with its balcony abutting over the Isar. Do you remember, Margaret?

MARG. Suppose we drop the familiar.

GIL. As you please--as you please. [_Pause, then suddenly._] You acted
shamefully, Margaret.

MARG. What do you mean?

GIL. Would you much rather that I beat around the bush? I can find no
other word, to my regret. And it was so uncalled for, too.
Straightforwardness would have done just as nicely. It was quite
unnecessary to run away from Munich under cover of a foggy night.

MARG. It wasn't night and it wasn't foggy. I left in the morning on the
eight-thirty train, in open daylight.

GIL. At all events, you might have said good-by to me before leaving,
eh? [_Sits._]

MARG. I expect the Baron back any minute.

GIL. What difference does that make? Of course, you didn't tell him that
you lay in my arms once and worshiped me. I'm just an old acquaintance
from Munich. And there's no harm in an old acquaintance calling to see
you?

MARG. Anybody but you.

GIL. Why? Why do you persist in misunderstanding me? I assure you, I
come _only_ as an old acquaintance. Everything else is dead and buried,
long dead and buried. Here. See for yourself. [_Indicates the book._]

MARG. What's that?

GIL. My latest novel.

MARG. Have you taken to writing novels?

GIL. Certainly.

MARG. Since when have you learned the trick?

GIL. What do you mean?

MARG. Heavens, can't I remember? Thumb-nail sketches were your
specialty, observation of daily events.

GIL. [_excitedly_]. My specialty? My specialty is life itself. I write
what suits me. I do not allow myself to be circumscribed. I don't see
who's to prevent my writing a novel.

MARG. But the opinion of an authority was--

GIL. Pray, who's an authority?

MARG. I call to mind, for instance, an article by Neumann in the
"Algemeine"--

GIL. [_angrily_]. Neumann's a blamed idiot! I boxed his ears for him
once.

MARG. You--

GIL. In effigy-- But you were quite as much wrought up about the
business as I at that time. We were perfectly agreed that Neumann was a
blamed idiot. "How can such a numbskull dare"--these were your very
words--"to set bounds to your genius? How can he dare to stifle your
next work still, so to speak, in the womb?" You said that! And to-day
you quote that literary hawker.

MARG. Please do not shout. My housekeeper--

GIL. I don't propose to bother myself about the widows of defunct
generals when every nerve in my body is a-tingle.

MARG. What did I say? I can't account for your touchiness.

GIL. Touchiness! You call me touchy? You! Who used to be seized with a
violent fit of trembling every time some insignificant booby or some
trumpery sheet happened to utter an unfavorable word of criticism.

MARG. I don't remember one word of unfavorable criticism against me.

GIL. H'm! I dare say you may be right. Critics are always chivalrous
toward beautiful women.

MARG. Chivalrous? Do you think my poems were praised out of chivalry?
What about your own estimate--

GIL. Mine? I'm not going to retract so much as one little word. I simply
want to remind you that you composed your sheaf of lovely poems while we
were living together.

MARG. And you actually consider yourself worthy of them?

GIL. Would you have written them if it weren't for me? They are
addressed to me.

MARG. Never!

GIL. What! Do you mean to deny that they are addressed to me? This is
monstrous!

MARG. No. They are not addressed to you.

GIL. I am dumbfounded. I shall remind you of the situations in which
some of your loveliest verses had birth?

MARG. They were inscribed to an Ideal--[_Gilbert points to
himself_]--whose representative on earth you happened to be.

GIL. Ha! This is precious. Where did you get that? Do you know what the
French would say in a case like that? "C'est de la littérature!"

MARG. [_mimicking him_]. Ce n'est pas de la littérature! Now, that's the
truth, the honest truth! Or do you really fancy that by the "slim boy" I
meant you? Or that the curls I hymned belonged to you? At that time you
were fat and your hair was never curly. [_Runs her fingers through his
hair. Gilbert seizes the opportunity to capture her hand and kiss it._]
What an idea!

GIL. At that time you pictured it so; or, at all events, that is what
you called it. To be sure, a poet is forced to take every sort of
license for the sake of the rhythm. Didn't I once apostrophise you in a
sonnet as "my canny lass"? In point of fact, you were neither--no, I
don't want to be unfair--you were canny, shamefully canny, perversely
canny. And it suited you perfectly. Well, I suppose I really oughtn't to
wonder at you. You were at all times a snob. And, by Jove! you've
attained your end. You have decoyed your blue-blooded boy with his
well-manicured hands and his unmanicured brain, your matchless horseman,
fencer, marksman, tennis player, heart-trifler--Marlitt could not have
invented him more revolting than he actually is. Yes, what more can you
wish? Whether he will satisfy you--who are acquainted with something
nobler--is, of course, another question. I can only say that, in my
view, you are degenerate in love.

MARG. That must have struck you on the train.

GIL. Not at all. It struck me this very moment.

MARG. Make a note of it then; it's an apt phrase.

GIL. I've another quite as apt. Formerly you were a woman; now you're a
"sweet thing." Yes, that's it. What attracted you to a man of that
type? Passion--frank and filthy passion--

MARG. Stop! You have a motive--

GIL. My dear, I still lay claim to the possession of a soul.

MARG. Except now and then.

GIL. Please don't try to disparage our former relations. It's no use.
They are the noblest experiences you've ever had.

MARG. Heavens, when I think that I endured this twaddle for one whole
year I--

GIL. Endure? You were intoxicated with joy. Don't try to be ungrateful.
I'm not. Admitting that you behaved never so execrably at the end, yet I
can't bring myself to look upon it with bitterness. It had to come just
that way.

MARG. Indeed!

GIL. I owe you an explanation. This: at the moment when you were
beginning to drift away from me, when homesickness for the stables
gripped you--_la nostalgie de l'écurie_--at that moment I was done with
you.

MARG. Impossible.

GIL. You failed to notice the least sign in your characteristic way. I
was done with you. To be plain, I didn't need you any longer. What you
had to give you gave me. Your uses were fulfilled. In the depths of your
soul you knew, unconsciously you knew--

MARG. Please don't get so hot.

GIL. [_unruffled_]. That our day was over. Our relations had served
their purpose. I don't regret having loved you.

MARG. I do!

GIL. Capital! This measly outburst must reveal to a person of any
insight just one thing: the essential line of difference between the
artist and the dilettante. To you, Margaret, our _liaison_ means nothing
more than the memory of a few abandoned nights, a few heart-to-heart
talks in the winding ways of the English gardens. But _I_ have made it
over into a work of art.

MARG. So have I!

GIL. Eh? What do you mean?

MARG. I have done what you have done. I, too, have written a novel in
which our relations are depicted. I, too, have embalmed our love--or
what we thought was our love--for all time.

GIL. If I were you, I wouldn't talk of "for all time" before the
appearance of the second edition.

MARG. Your writing a novel and my writing a novel are two different
things.

GIL. Maybe.

MARG. You are a free man. You don't have to steal your hours devoted to
artistic labor. And your future doesn't depend on the throw.

GIL. And you?

MARG. That's what I've done. Only a half hour ago Clement left me
because I confessed to him that I had written a novel.

GIL. Left you--for good?

MARG. I don't know. But it isn't unlikely. He went away in a fit of
anger. What he'll decide to do I can't say.

GIL. So he objects to your writing, does he? He can't bear to see his
mistress put her intelligence to some use. Capital! And he represents
the blood of the country! H'm! And you, you're not ashamed to give
yourself up to the arms of an idiot of this sort, whom you once--

MARG. Don't you speak of him like that. You don't know him.

GIL. Ah!

MARG. You don't know why he objects to my writing. Purely out of love.
He feels that if I go on I will be living in a world entirely apart from
him. He blushes at the thought that I should make copy of the most
sacred feelings of my soul for unknown people to read. It is his wish
that I belong to him only, and that is why he dashed out--no, not dashed
out--for Clement doesn't belong to the class that dashes out.

GIL. Your observation is well taken. In any case, he went away. We will
not undertake to discuss the _tempo_ of his going forth. And he went
away because he could not bear to see you surrender yourself to the
creative impulse.

MARG. Ah, if he could only understand that! But, of course, that can
never be! I could be the best, the faithfulest, the noblest woman in the
world if the right man only existed.

GIL. At all events, you admit he is not the right man.

MARG. I never said that!

GIL. But you ought to realize that he's fettering you, undoing you
utterly, seeking through egotism, to destroy your inalienable self.
Look back for a moment at the Margaret you were; at the freedom that was
yours while you loved me. Think of the younger set who gathered about me
and who belonged no whit less to you? Do you never long for those days?
Do you never call to mind the small room with its balcony--Beneath us
plunged the Isar--[_He seizes her hand and presses her near._]

MARG. Ah!

GIL. All's not beyond recall. It need not be the Isar, need it? I have
something to propose to you, Margaret. Tell him, when he returns, that
you still have some important matters to arrange at Munich, and spend
the time with me. Margaret, you are so lovely! We shall be happy again
as then. Do you remember [_very near her_] "Abandoned on thy breast
and--"

MARG. [_retreating brusquely from him_]. Go, go away. No, no. Please go
away. I don't love you any more.

GIL. Oh, h'm--indeed! Oh, in that case I beg your pardon. [_Pause._]
Adieu, Margaret.

MARG. Adieu.

GIL. Won't you present me with a copy of your novel as a parting gift,
as I have done?

MARG. It hasn't come out yet. It won't be on sale before next week.

GIL. Pardon my inquisitiveness, what kind of a story is it?

MARG. The story of my life. So veiled, to be sure, that I am in no
danger of being recognized.

GIL. I see. How did you manage to do it?

MARG. Very simple. For one thing, the heroine is not a writer but a
painter.

GIL. Very clever.

MARG. Her first husband is not a cotton manufacturer, but a big
financier, and, of course, it wouldn't do to deceive him with a tenor--

GIL. Ha! Ha!

MARG. What strikes you so funny?

GIL. So you deceived him with a tenor? I didn't know that.

MARG. Whoever said so?

GIL. Why, you yourself, just now.

MARG. How so? I say the heroine of the book deceives her husband with a
baritone.

GIL. Bass would have been more sublime, mezzo-soprano more piquant.

MARG. Then she doesn't go to Munich, but to Dresden; and there, has an
affair with a sculptor.

GIL. That's me--veiled.

MARG. Very much veiled, I rather fear. The sculptor, as it happens, is
young, handsome and a genius. In spite of that she leaves him.

GIL. For--

MARG. Guess?

GIL. A jockey, I fancy.

MARG. Wretch!

GIL. A count, a prince of the empire?

MARG. Wrong. An archduke.

GIL. I must say you have spared no costs.

MARG. Yes, an archduke, who gave up the court for her sake, married her
and emigrated with her to the Canary Islands.

GIL. The Canary Islands! Splendid! And then--

MARG. With the disembarkation--

GIL. In Canaryland.

MARG. The story ends.

GIL. Good. I'm very much interested, especially in the veiling.

MARG. You yourself wouldn't recognize me were it not for--

GIL. What?

MARG. The third chapter from the end, where our correspondence is
published entire.

GIL. What?

MARG. Yes, all the letters you sent me and those I sent you are included
in the novel.

GIL. I see, but may I ask where you got those you sent me? I thought I
had them.

MARG. I know. But, you see, I had the habit of always making a rough
draft.

GIL. A rough draft?

MARG. Yes.

GIL. A rough draft? Those letters which seemed to have been dashed off
in such tremendous haste. "Just one word, dearest, before I go to bed.
My eyelids are heavy--" and when your eyelids were closed you wrote the
whole thing over again.

MARG. Are you piqued about it?

GIL. I might have expected as much. I ought to be glad, however, that
they weren't bought from a professional love-letter writer. Oh, how
everything begins to crumble! The whole past is nothing but a heap of
ruins. She made a rough draft of her letters!

MARG. Be content. Maybe my letters will be all that will remain immortal
of your memory.

GIL. And along with them will remain the fatal story.

MARG. Why?

GIL. [_indicating his book_]. Because they also appear in my book.

MARG. In _where_?

GIL. In my novel.

MARG. What?

GIL. Our letters--yours and mine.

MARG. Where did you get your own? I've got them in my possession. Ah, so
you, too, made a rough draft?

GIL. Nothing of the kind! I only copied them before mailing. I didn't
want to lose them. There are some in my book which you didn't even get.
They were, in my opinion, too beautiful for you. You wouldn't have
understood them at all.

MARG. Merciful heavens! If this is so--[_turning the leaves of Gilbert's
book_]. Yes, yes, it is so. Why, it's just like telling the world that
we two--Merciful heavens! [_Feverishly turning the leaves._] Is the
letter you sent me the morning after the first night also--

GIL. Surely. That was brilliant.

MARG. This is horrible. Why, this is going to create a European
sensation. And Clement--My God; I'm beginning to hope that he will not
come back. I am ruined! And you along with me. Wherever you are, he'll
be sure to find you and blow your brains out like a mad dog.

GIL. [_pocketing his book_]. Insipid comparison!

MARG. How did you hit upon such an insane idea? To publish the
correspondence of a woman whom, in all sincerity, you professed to have
loved! Oh, you're no gentleman.

GIL. Quite charming. Haven't you done the same?

MARG. I'm a woman.

GIL. Do you take refuge in that now?

MARG. Oh, it's true. I have nothing to reproach you with. We were made
for one another. Yes, Clement was right. We're worse than those women
who appear in flesh-colored tights. Our most sacred feelings, our
pangs--everything--we make copy of everything. Pfui! #Pfui!# It's
sickening. We two belong to one another. Clement would only be doing
what is right if he drove me away. [_Suddenly._] Come, Amandus.

GIL. What is it?

MARG. I accept your proposal.

GIL. What proposal?

MARG. I'm going to cut it with you. [_Looks for her hat and cloak._]

GIL. Eh? What do you mean?

MARG. [_very much excited; puts her hat on tightly_]. Everything can be
as it was. You've said it. It needn't be the Isar--well, I'm ready.

GIL. Sheer madness! Cut it--what's the meaning of this? Didn't you
yourself say a minute ago that he'd find me anywhere. If you're with me,
he'll have no difficulty in finding you, too. Wouldn't it be better if
each--

MARG. Wretch! Now you want to leave me in a lurch! Why, only a few
minutes ago you were on your knees before me. Have you no conscience?

GIL. What's the use? I am a sick, nervous man, suffering from
hypochondria. [_Margaret at the window utters a cry._]

GIL. What's up? What will the general's widow think?

MARG. It's he. He's coming back.

GIL. Well, then--

MARG. What? You intend to go?

GIL. I didn't come here to pay the baron a visit.

MARG. He'll encounter you on the stairs. That would be worse. Stay. I
refuse to be sacrificed alone.

GIL. Now, don't lose your senses. Why do you tremble like that? It's
quite absurd to believe that he's already gone through both novels. Calm
yourself. Remove your hat. Off with your cloak. [_Assists her._] If he
catches you in this frame of mind he can't help but suspect.

MARG. It's all the same to me. Better now than later. I can't bear
waiting and waiting for the horrible event. I'm going to tell him
everything right away.

GIL. Everything?

MARG. Yes. And while you are still here. If I make a clean breast of
everything now maybe he'll forgive me.

GIL. And me--what about me? I have a higher mission in the world, I
think, than to suffer myself to be shot down like a mad dog by a jealous
baron. [_The bell rings._]

MARG. It's he! It's he.

GIL. Understand, you're not to breathe a word.

MARG. I've made up my mind.

GIL. Indeed, have a care. For, if you do, I shall sell my hide at a good
price. I shall hurl such naked truths at him that he'll swear no baron
heard the like of them.

CLEM. [_entering, somewhat surprised, but quite cool and courteous_].
Oh, Mr. Gilbert! Am I right?

GIL. The very same, Baron. I'm traveling south, and I couldn't repress
the desire to pay my respects to madame.

CLEM. Ah, indeed. [_Pause._] Pardon me, it seems I've interrupted your
conversation. Pray, don't let me disturb you.

GIL. What were we talking about just now?

CLEM. Perhaps I can assist your memory. In Munich, if I recall
correctly, you always talked about your books.

GIL. Quite so. As a matter of fact, I was speaking about my new novel.

CLEM. Pray, continue. Nowadays, I find that I, too, can talk literature.
Eh, Margaret? Is it naturalistic? Symbolic? Autobiographical? Or--let me
see--is it distilled?

GIL. Oh, in a certain sense we all write about our life-experiences.

CLEM. H'm. That's good to know.

GIL. Yes, if you're painting the character of Nero, in my opinion it's
absolutely necessary that you should have set fire to Rome--

CLEM. Naturally.

GIL. From what source should a writer derive his inspiration if not from
himself? Where should he go for his models if not to the life which is
nearest to him? [_Margaret becomes more and more uneasy._]

CLEM. Isn't it a pity, though, that the models are so rarely consulted?
But I must say, if I were a woman, I'd think twice before I'd let such
people know anything--[_Sharply._] In decent society, sir, that's the
same as compromising a woman!

GIL. I don't know whether I belong to decent society or not, but, in my
humble opinion, it's the same as ennobling a woman.

CLEM. Indeed.

GIL. The essential thing is, does it really hit the mark! In a higher
sense, what does it matter if the public does know that a woman was
happy in this bed or that?

CLEM. Mr. Gilbert, allow me to remind you that you are speaking in the
presence of a lady.

GIL. I'm speaking in the presence of a comrade, Baron, who, perhaps,
shares my views in these matters.

CLEM. Oh!

MARG. Clement! [_Throws herself at his feet._] Clement.

CLEM. [_staggered_]. But--Margaret.

MARG. Your forgiveness, Clement!

CLEM. But, Margaret. [_To Gilbert._] It's very painful to me, Mr.
Gilbert. Now, get up, Margaret. Get up, everything's all right;
everything's arranged. Yes, yes. You have but to call up Künigel. I have
already arranged everything with him. We are going to put it out for
sale. Is that suitable to you?

GIL. What are you going to put out for sale, if I may be so bold as to
ask? The novel madame has written?

CLEM. Ah, so you know already. At all events, Mr. Gilbert, it seems that
your _camaraderie_ is not required any further.

GIL. Yes. There's really nothing left for me but to beg to be excused.
I'm sorry.

CLEM. I very much regret, Mr. Gilbert, that you had to witness a scene
which might almost be called domestic.

GIL. Oh, I do not wish to intrude any further.

GIL. Madame--Baron, may I offer you a copy of my book as a token that
all ill-feeling between us has vanished? As a feeble sign of my
sympathy, Baron?

CLEM. You're very good, Mr. Gilbert. I must, however, tell you that this
is going to be the last, or the one before the last, that I ever intend
to read.

GIL. The one before the last?

CLEM. Yes.

MARG. And what's the last going to be?

CLEM. Yours, my love. [_Draws an advanced copy from his pocket._] I
wheedled an advance copy from Künigel to bring to you, or, rather, to
both of us. [_Margaret and Gilbert exchange scared glances._]

MARG. How good of you! [_Taking the book._] Yes, it's mine.

CLEM. We will read it together.

MARG. No, Clement, no. I cannot accept so much kindness. [_She throws
the book into the fireplace._] I don't want to hear of this sort of
thing any more.

GIL. [_very joyful_]. But, dear madame--

CLEM. [_going toward the fireplace_]. Margaret, what have you done?

MARG. [_in front of the fireplace, throwing her arms about Clement_].
Now, do you believe that I love you!

GIL. [_most gleeful_]. It appears that I'm entirely _de trop_ here. Dear
Madame--Baron--[_To himself._] Pity, though, I can't stay for the last
chapter. [_Goes out._]


  [_Curtain._]




THE INTRUDER

  A PLAY

  BY MAURICE MAETERLINCK


  CHARACTERS

    THE GRANDFATHER [_blind_].
    THE FATHER.
    THE THREE DAUGHTERS.
    THE UNCLE.
    THE SERVANT.


  The present translation of THE INTRUDER is the anonymous version
  published by Mr. Heinemann in 1892, the editor having, however,
  made some slight alterations in order to bring it into conformity
  with the current French text. The particular edition used for this
  purpose was the 1911 (twenty-third) reprint of Vol. I of M.
  Maeterlinck's "Théâtre."
                                                          A. L. G.


  Reprinted from "A Miracle of St. Antony and Five Other Plays" in the
  Modern Library, by permission of Messrs. Boni & Liveright, Inc.



THE INTRUDER

A PLAY BY MAURICE MAETERLINCK


    [_A sombre room in an old Château. A door on the right, a door
    on the left, and a small concealed door in a corner. At the back,
    stained-glass windows, in which green is the dominant color, and
    a glass door giving on to a terrace. A big Dutch clock in one
    corner. A lighted lamp._]


THE THREE DAUGHTERS. Come here, grandfather. Sit down under the lamp.

THE GRANDFATHER. There does not seem to me to be much light here.

THE FATHER. Shall we go out on the terrace, or stay in this room?

THE UNCLE. Would it not be better to stay here? It has rained the whole
week, and the nights are damp and cold.

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. But the stars are shining.

THE UNCLE. Oh the stars--that's nothing.

THE GRANDFATHER. We had better stay here. One never knows what may
happen.

THE FATHER. There is no longer any cause for anxiety. The danger is
over, and she is saved....

THE GRANDFATHER. I believe she is not doing so well....

THE FATHER. Why do you say that?

THE GRANDFATHER. I have heard her voice.

THE FATHER. But since the doctors assure us we may be easy....

THE UNCLE. You know quite well that your father-in-law likes to alarm us
needlessly.

THE GRANDFATHER. I don't see things as you do.

THE UNCLE. You ought to rely on us, then, who can see. She looked very
well this afternoon. She is sleeping quietly now; and we are not going
to mar, needlessly, the first pleasant evening that chance has put in
our way.... It seems to me we have a perfect right to peace, and even to
laugh a little, this evening, without fear.

THE FATHER. That's true; this is the first time I have felt at home with
my family since this terrible confinement.

THE UNCLE. When once illness has come into a house, it is as though a
stranger had forced himself into the family circle.

THE FATHER. And then you understand, too, that you can count on no one
outside the family.

THE UNCLE. You are quite right.

THE GRANDFATHER. Why couldn't I see my poor daughter to-day?

THE UNCLE. You know quite well--the doctor forbade it.

THE GRANDFATHER. I do not know what to think....

THE UNCLE. It is useless to worry.

THE GRANDFATHER [_pointing to the door on the left_]. She cannot hear
us?

THE FATHER. We will not talk too loud; besides, the door is very thick,
and the Sister of Mercy is with her, and she is sure to warn us if we
are making too much noise.

THE GRANDFATHER [_pointing to the door on the right_]. He cannot hear
us?

THE FATHER. No, no.

THE GRANDFATHER. He is asleep?

THE FATHER. I suppose so.

THE GRANDFATHER. Some one had better go and see.

THE UNCLE. The little one would cause _me_ more anxiety than your wife.
It is now several weeks since he was born, and he has scarcely stirred.
He has not cried once all the time! He is like a wax doll.

THE GRANDFATHER. I think he will be deaf--dumb too, perhaps--the usual
result of a marriage between cousins.... [_A reproving silence._]

THE FATHER. I could almost wish him ill for the suffering he has caused
his mother.

THE UNCLE. Do be reasonable; it is not the poor little thing's fault. He
is quite alone in the room?

THE FATHER. Yes; the doctor does not wish him to stay in his mother's
room any longer.

THE UNCLE. But the nurse is with him?

THE FATHER. No; she has gone to rest a little; she has well deserved it
these last few days. Ursula, just go and see if he is asleep.

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. Yes, father. [_The Three Sisters get up, and go
into the room on the right, hand in hand._]

THE FATHER. When will your sister come?

THE UNCLE. I think she will come about nine.

THE FATHER. It is past nine. I hope she will come this evening, my wife
is so anxious to see her.

THE UNCLE. She is sure to come. This will be the first time she has been
here?

THE FATHER. She has never been in the house.

THE UNCLE. It is very difficult for her to leave her convent.

THE FATHER. Will she be alone?

THE UNCLE. I expect one of the nuns will come with her. They are not
allowed to go out alone.

THE FATHER. But she is the Superior.

THE UNCLE. The rule is the same for all.

THE GRANDFATHER. Do you not feel anxious?

THE UNCLE. Why should we feel anxious? What's the good of harping on
that? There is nothing more to fear.

THE GRANDFATHER. Your sister is older than you?

THE UNCLE. She is the eldest.

THE GRANDFATHER. I do not know what ails me; I feel uneasy. I wish your
sister were here.

THE UNCLE. She will come; she promised to.

THE GRANDFATHER. Ah, if this evening were only over!

    [_The three daughters come in again._]

THE FATHER. He is asleep?

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. Yes, father; he is sleeping soundly.

THE UNCLE. What shall we do while we are waiting?

THE GRANDFATHER. Waiting for what?

THE UNCLE. Waiting for our sister.

THE FATHER. You see nothing coming, Ursula?

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER [_at the window_]. Nothing, father.

THE FATHER. Not in the avenue? Can you see the avenue?

THE DAUGHTER. Yes, father; it is moonlight, and I can see the avenue as
far as the cypress wood.

THE GRANDFATHER. And you do not see any one?

THE DAUGHTER. No one, grandfather.

THE UNCLE. What sort of a night is it?

THE DAUGHTER. Very fine. Do you hear the nightingales?

THE UNCLE. Yes, yes.

THE DAUGHTER. A little wind is rising in the avenue.

THE GRANDFATHER. A little wind in the avenue?

THE DAUGHTER. Yes; the trees are trembling a little.

THE UNCLE. I am surprised that my sister is not here yet.

THE GRANDFATHER. I cannot hear the nightingales any longer.

THE DAUGHTER. I think some one has come into the garden, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. Who is it?

THE DAUGHTER. I do not know; I can see no one.

THE UNCLE. Because there is no one there.

THE DAUGHTER. There must be some one in the garden; the nightingales
have suddenly ceased singing.

THE GRANDFATHER. But I do not hear any one coming.

THE DAUGHTER. Some one must be passing by the pond, because the swans
are ruffled.

ANOTHER DAUGHTER. All the fishes in the pond are diving suddenly.

THE FATHER. You cannot see any one.

THE DAUGHTER. No one, father.

THE FATHER. But the pond lies in the moonlight....

THE DAUGHTER. Yes; I can see that the swans are ruffled.

THE UNCLE. I am sure it is my sister who is scaring them. She must have
come in by the little gate.

THE FATHER. I cannot understand why the dogs do not bark.

THE DAUGHTER. I can see the watchdog right at the back of his kennel.
The swans are crossing to the other bank!...

THE UNCLE. They are afraid of my sister. I will go and see. [_He
calls._] Sister! sister! Is that you?... There is no one there.

THE DAUGHTER. I am sure that some one has come into the garden. You will
see.

THE UNCLE. But she would answer me!

THE GRANDFATHER. Are not the nightingales beginning to sing again,
Ursula?

THE DAUGHTER. I cannot hear one anywhere.

THE GRANDFATHER. But there is no noise.

THE FATHER. There is a silence of the grave.

THE GRANDFATHER. It must be a stranger that is frightening them, for if
it were one of the family they would not be silent.

THE UNCLE. How much longer are you going to discuss these nightingales?

THE GRANDFATHER. Are all the windows open, Ursula?

THE DAUGHTER. The glass door is open, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. It seems to me that the cold is penetrating into the
room.

THE DAUGHTER. There is a little wind in the garden, grandfather, and the
rose-leaves are falling.

THE FATHER. Well, shut the door. It is late.

THE DAUGHTER. Yes, father.... I cannot shut the door.

THE TWO OTHER DAUGHTERS. We cannot shut the door.

THE GRANDFATHER. Why, what is the matter with the door, my children?

THE UNCLE. You need not say that in such an extraordinary voice. I will
go and help them.

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. We cannot manage to shut it quite.

THE UNCLE. It is because of the damp. Let us all push together. There
must be something in the way.

THE FATHER. The carpenter will set it right to-morrow.

THE GRANDFATHER. Is the carpenter coming to-morrow.

THE DAUGHTER. Yes, grandfather; he is coming to do some work in the
cellar.

THE GRANDFATHER. He will make a noise in the house.

THE DAUGHTER. I will tell him to work quietly.

    [_Suddenly the sound of a scythe being sharpened is heard outside._]

THE GRANDFATHER [_with a shudder_]. Oh!

THE UNCLE. What is that?

THE DAUGHTER. I don't quite know; I think it is the gardener. I cannot
quite see; he is in the shadow of the house.

THE FATHER. It is the gardener going to mow.

THE UNCLE. He mows by night?

THE FATHER. Is not to-morrow Sunday?--Yes.--I noticed that the grass was
very long round the house.

THE GRANDFATHER. It seems to me that his scythe makes as much noise....

THE DAUGHTER. He is mowing near the house.

THE GRANDFATHER. Can you see him, Ursula?

THE DAUGHTER. No, grandfather. He is standing in the dark.

THE GRANDFATHER. I am afraid he will wake my daughter.

THE UNCLE. We can scarcely hear him.

THE GRANDFATHER. It sounds as if he were mowing inside the house.

THE UNCLE. The invalid will not hear it; there is no danger.

THE FATHER. It seems to me that the lamp is not burning well this
evening.

THE UNCLE. It wants filling.

THE FATHER. I saw it filled this morning. It has burnt badly since the
window was shut.

THE UNCLE. I fancy the chimney is dirty.

THE FATHER. It will burn better presently.

THE DAUGHTER. Grandfather is asleep. He has not slept for three nights.

THE FATHER. He has been so much worried.

THE UNCLE. He always worries too much. At times he will not listen to
reason.

THE FATHER. It is quite excusable at his age.

THE UNCLE. God knows what we shall be like at his age!

THE FATHER. He is nearly eighty.

THE UNCLE. Then he has a right to be strange.

THE FATHER. He is like all blind people.

THE UNCLE. They think too much.

THE FATHER. They have too much time to spare.

THE UNCLE. They have nothing else to do.

THE FATHER. And, besides, they have no distractions.

THE UNCLE. That must be terrible.

THE FATHER. Apparently one gets used to it.

THE UNCLE. I cannot imagine it.

THE FATHER. They are certainly to be pitied.

THE UNCLE. Not to know where one is, not to know where one has come
from, not to know whither one is going, not to be able to distinguish
midday from midnight, or summer from winter--and always darkness,
darkness! I would rather not live. Is it absolutely incurable?

THE FATHER. Apparently so.

THE UNCLE. But he is not absolutely blind?

THE FATHER. He can perceive a strong light.

THE UNCLE. Let us take care of our poor eyes.

THE FATHER. He often has strange ideas.

THE UNCLE. At times he is not at all amusing.

THE FATHER. He says absolutely everything he thinks.

THE UNCLE. But he was not always like this?

THE FATHER. No; once he was as rational as we are; he never said
anything extraordinary. I am afraid Ursula encourages him a little too
much; she answers all his questions....

THE UNCLE. It would be better not to answer them. It's a mistaken
kindness to him.

    [_Ten o'clock strikes._]

THE GRANDFATHER [_waking up_]. Am I facing the glass door?

THE DAUGHTER. You have had a nice sleep, grandfather?

THE GRANDFATHER. Am I facing the glass door?

THE DAUGHTER. Yes, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. There is nobody at the glass door?

THE DAUGHTER. No, grandfather; I do not see any one.

THE GRANDFATHER. I thought some one was waiting. No one has come?

THE DAUGHTER. No one, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER [_to the Uncle and Father_]. And your sister has not
come?

THE UNCLE. It is too late; she will not come now. It is not nice of her.

THE FATHER. I'm beginning to be anxious about her. [_A noise, as of some
one coming into the house._]

THE UNCLE. She is here! Did you hear?

THE FATHER. Yes; some one has come in at the basement.

THE UNCLE. It must be our sister. I recognized her step.

THE GRANDFATHER. I heard slow footsteps.

THE FATHER. She came in very quietly.

THE UNCLE. She knows there is an invalid.

THE GRANDFATHER. I hear nothing now.

THE UNCLE. She will come up directly; they will tell her we are here.

THE FATHER. I am glad she has come.

THE UNCLE. I was sure she would come this evening.

THE GRANDFATHER. She is a very long time coming up.

THE UNCLE. It must be she.

THE FATHER. We are not expecting any other visitors.

THE GRANDFATHER. I cannot hear any noise in the basement.

THE FATHER. I will call the servant. We shall know how things stand.
[_He pulls a bell-rope._]

THE GRANDFATHER. I can hear a noise on the stairs already.

THE FATHER. It is the servant coming up.

THE GRANDFATHER. To me it sounds as if she were not alone.

THE FATHER. She is coming up slowly....

THE GRANDFATHER. I hear your sister's step!

THE FATHER. I can only hear the servant.

THE GRANDFATHER. It is your sister! It is your sister! [_There is a
knock at the little door._]

THE UNCLE. She is knocking at the door of the back stairs.

THE FATHER. I will go and open it myself. [_He opens the little door
partly; the Servant remains outside in the opening._] Where are you?

THE SERVANT. Here, sir.

THE GRANDFATHER. Your sister is at the door?

THE UNCLE. I can only see the servant.

THE FATHER. It is only the servant. [_To the Servant._] Who was that,
that came into the house?

THE SERVANT. Came into the house?

THE FATHER. Yes; some one came in just now?

THE SERVANT. No one came in, sir.

THE GRANDFATHER. Who is it sighing like that?

THE UNCLE. It is the servant; she is out of breath.

THE GRANDFATHER. Is she crying?

THE UNCLE. No; why should she be crying?

THE FATHER [_to the Servant_]. No one came in just now?

THE SERVANT. No, sir.

THE FATHER. But we heard some one open the door!

THE SERVANT. It was I shutting the door.

THE FATHER. It was open?

THE SERVANT. Yes, sir.

THE FATHER. Why was it open at this time of night?

THE SERVANT. I do not know, sir. I had shut it myself.

THE FATHER. Then who was it that opened it?

THE SERVANT. I do not know, sir. Some one must have gone out after me,
sir....

THE FATHER. You must be careful.--Don't push the door; you know what a
noise it makes!

THE SERVANT. But, sir, I am not touching the door.

THE FATHER. But you are. You are pushing as if you were trying to get
into the room.

THE SERVANT. But, sir, I am three yards away from the door.

THE FATHER. Don't talk so loud....

THE GRANDFATHER. Are they putting out the light?

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. No, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. It seems to me it has grown pitch dark all at once.

THE FATHER [_to the Servant_]. You can go down again now; but do not
make so much noise on the stairs.

THE SERVANT. I did not make any noise on the stairs.

THE FATHER. I tell you that you did make a noise. Go down quietly; you
will wake your mistress. And if any one comes now, say that we are not
at home.

THE UNCLE. Yes; say that we are not at home.

THE GRANDFATHER [_shuddering_]. You must not say that!

THE FATHER. ... Except to my sister and the doctor.

THE UNCLE. When will the doctor come?

THE FATHER. He will not be able to come before midnight. [_He shuts the
door. A clock is heard striking eleven._]

THE GRANDFATHER. She has come in?

THE FATHER. Who?

THE GRANDFATHER. The servant.

THE FATHER. No, she has gone downstairs.

THE GRANDFATHER. I thought that she was sitting at the table.

THE UNCLE. The servant?

THE GRANDFATHER. Yes.

THE UNCLE. That would complete one's happiness!

THE GRANDFATHER. No one has come into the room?

THE FATHER. No; no one has come in.

THE GRANDFATHER. And your sister is not here?

THE UNCLE. Our sister has not come.

THE GRANDFATHER. You want to deceive me.

THE UNCLE. Deceive you?

THE GRANDFATHER. Ursula, tell me the truth, for the love of God!

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. Grandfather! Grandfather! what is the matter with
you?

THE GRANDFATHER. Something has happened! I am sure my daughter is
worse!...

THE UNCLE. Are you dreaming?

THE GRANDFATHER. You do not want to tell me!... I can see quite well
there is something....

THE UNCLE. In that case you can see better than we can.

THE GRANDFATHER. Ursula, tell me the truth!

THE DAUGHTER. But we have told you the truth, grandfather!

THE GRANDFATHER. You do not speak in your ordinary voice.

THE FATHER. That is because you frighten her.

THE GRANDFATHER. Your voice is changed, too.

THE FATHER. You are going mad! [_He and the Uncle make signs to each
other to signify the Grandfather has lost his reason._]

THE GRANDFATHER. I can hear quite well that you are afraid.

THE FATHER. But what should we be afraid of?

THE GRANDFATHER. Why do you want to deceive me?

THE UNCLE. Who is thinking of deceiving you?

THE GRANDFATHER. Why have you put out the light?

THE UNCLE. But the light has not been put out; there is as much light as
there was before.

THE DAUGHTER. It seems to me that the lamp has gone down.

THE FATHER. I see as well now as ever.

THE GRANDFATHER. I have millstones on my eyes! Tell me, girls, what is
going on here! Tell me, for the love of God, you who can see! I am here,
all alone, in darkness without end! I do not know who seats himself
beside me! I do not know what is happening a yard from me!... Why were
you talking under your breath just now?

THE FATHER. No one was talking under his breath.

THE GRANDFATHER. You did talk in a low voice at the door.

THE FATHER. You heard all I said.

THE GRANDFATHER. You brought some one into the room!...

THE FATHER. But I tell you no one has come in!

THE GRANDFATHER. Is it your sister or a priest?--You should not try to
deceive me.--Ursula, who was it that came in?

THE DAUGHTER. No one, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. You must not try to deceive me; I know what I
know.--How many of us are there here?

THE DAUGHTER. There are six of us round the table, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. You are all round the table?

THE DAUGHTER. Yes, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. You are there, Paul?

THE FATHER. Yes.

THE GRANDFATHER. You are there, Oliver?

THE UNCLE. Yes, of course I am here, in my usual place. That's not
alarming, is it?

THE GRANDFATHER. You are there, Geneviève?

ONE OF THE DAUGHTERS. Yes, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. You are there, Gertrude?

ANOTHER DAUGHTER. Yes, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. You are here, Ursula?

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. Yes, grandfather; next to you.

THE GRANDFATHER. And who is that sitting there?

THE DAUGHTER. Where do you mean, grandfather?--There is no one.

THE GRANDFATHER. There, there--in the midst of us!

THE DAUGHTER. But there is no one, grandfather!

THE FATHER. We tell you there is no one!

THE GRANDFATHER. But you cannot see--any of you!

THE UNCLE. Pshaw! You are joking.

THE GRANDFATHER. I do not feel inclined for joking, I can assure you.

THE UNCLE. Then believe those who can see.

THE GRANDFATHER [_undecidedly_]. I thought there was some one.... I
believe I shall not live long....

THE UNCLE. Why should we deceive you? What use would there be in that?

THE FATHER. It would be our duty to tell you the truth....

THE UNCLE. What would be the good of deceiving each other?

THE FATHER. You could not live in error long.

THE GRANDFATHER [_trying to rise_]. I should like to pierce this
darkness!...

THE FATHER. Where do you want to go?

THE GRANDFATHER. Over there....

THE FATHER. Don't be so anxious.

THE UNCLE. You are strange this evening.

THE GRANDFATHER. It is all of you who seem to me to be strange!

THE FATHER. Do you want anything?

THE GRANDFATHER. I do not know what ails me.

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. Grandfather! grandfather! What do you want,
grandfather?

THE GRANDFATHER. Give me your little hands, my children.

THE THREE DAUGHTERS. Yes, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. Why are you all three trembling, girls?

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. We are scarcely trembling at all, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. I fancy you are all three pale.

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. It is late, grandfather, and we are tired.

THE FATHER. You must go to bed, and grandfather himself would do well to
take a little rest.

THE GRANDFATHER. I could not sleep to-night!

THE UNCLE. We will wait for the doctor.

THE GRANDFATHER. Prepare for the truth.

THE UNCLE. But there is no truth!

THE GRANDFATHER. Then I do not know what there is!

THE UNCLE. I tell you there is nothing at all!

THE GRANDFATHER. I wish I could see my poor daughter!

THE FATHER. But you know quite well it is impossible; she must not be
awakened unnecessarily.

THE UNCLE. You will see her to-morrow.

THE GRANDFATHER. There is no sound in her room.

THE UNCLE. I should be uneasy if I heard any sound.

THE GRANDFATHER. It is a very long time since I saw my daughter!... I
took her hands yesterday evening, but I could not see her!... I do not
know what has become of her.... I do not know how she is.... I do not
know what her face is like now.... She must have changed these weeks!...
I felt the little bones of her cheeks under my hands.... There is
nothing but the darkness between her and me, and the rest of you!... I
cannot go on living like this ... this is not living.... You sit there,
all of you, looking with open eyes at my dead eyes, and not one of you
has pity on me!... I do not know what ails me.... No one tells me what
ought to be told me.... And everything is terrifying when one's dreams
dwell upon it.... But why are you not speaking?

THE UNCLE. What should we say, since you will not believe us?

THE GRANDFATHER. You are afraid of betraying yourselves!

THE FATHER. Come now, be rational!

THE GRANDFATHER. You have been hiding something from me for a long
time!... Something has happened in the house.... But I am beginning to
understand now.... You have been deceiving me too long!--You fancy that
I shall never know anything?--There are moments when I am less blind
than you, you know!... Do you think I have not heard you whispering--for
days and days--as if you were in the house of some one who had been
hanged--I dare not say what I know this evening.... But I shall know the
truth!... I shall wait for you to tell me the truth; but I have known it
for a long time, in spite of you!--And now, I feel that you are all
paler than the dead!

THE THREE DAUGHTERS. Grandfather! grandfather! What is the matter,
grandfather?

THE GRANDFATHER. It is not you that I am speaking of, girls. No; it is
not you that I am speaking of.... I know quite well you would tell me
the truth--if they were not by!... And besides, I feel sure that they
are deceiving you as well.... You will see, children--you will see!...
Do not I hear you all sobbing?

THE FATHER. Is my wife really so ill?

THE GRANDFATHER. It is no good trying to deceive me any longer; it is
too late now, and I know the truth better than you!...

THE UNCLE. But _we_ are not blind; we are not.

THE FATHER. Would you like to go into your daughter's room? This
misunderstanding must be put an end to.--Would you?

THE GRANDFATHER [_becoming suddenly undecided_]. No, no, not now--not
yet.

THE UNCLE. You see, you are not reasonable.

THE GRANDFATHER. One never knows how much a man has been unable to
express in his life!... Who made that noise?

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. It is the lamp flickering, grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. It seems to me to be very unsteady--very!

THE DAUGHTER. It is the cold wind troubling it....

THE UNCLE. There is no cold wind, the windows are shut.

THE DAUGHTER. I think it is going out.

THE FATHER. There is no more oil.

THE DAUGHTER. It has gone right out.

THE FATHER. We cannot stay like this in the dark.

THE UNCLE. Why not?--I am quite accustomed to it.

THE FATHER. There is a light in my wife's room.

THE UNCLE. We will take it from there presently, when the doctor has
been.

THE FATHER. Well, we can see enough here; there is the light from
outside.

THE GRANDFATHER. Is it light outside?

THE FATHER. Lighter than here.

THE UNCLE. For my part, I would as soon talk in the dark.

THE FATHER. So would I. [_Silence._]

THE GRANDFATHER. It seems to me the clock makes a great deal of
noise....

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER. That is because we are not talking any more,
grandfather.

THE GRANDFATHER. But why are you all silent?

THE UNCLE. What do you want us to talk about?--You are really very
peculiar to-night.

THE GRANDFATHER. Is it very dark in this room?

THE UNCLE. There is not much light. [_Silence._]

THE GRANDFATHER. I do not feel well, Ursula; open the window a little.

THE FATHER. Yes, child; open the window a little. I begin to feel the
want of air myself. [_The girl opens the window._]

THE UNCLE. I really believe we have stayed shut up too long.

THE GRANDFATHER. Is the window open?

THE DAUGHTER. Yes, grandfather; it is wide open.

THE GRANDFATHER. One would not have thought it was open; there was not a
sound outside.

THE DAUGHTER. No, grandfather; there is not the slightest sound.

THE FATHER. The silence is extraordinary!

THE DAUGHTER. One could hear an angel tread!

THE UNCLE. That is why I do not like the country.

THE GRANDFATHER. I wish I could hear some sound. What o'clock is it,
Ursula?

THE DAUGHTER. It will soon be midnight, grandfather. [_Here the Uncle
begins to pace up and down the room._]

THE GRANDFATHER. Who is that walking round us like that?

THE UNCLE. Only I! only I! Do not be frightened! I want to walk about a
little. [_Silence._]--But I am going to sit down again;--I cannot see
where I am going. [_Silence._]

THE GRANDFATHER. I wish I were out of this place.

THE DAUGHTER. Where would you like to go, grandfather?

THE GRANDFATHER. I do not know where--into another room, no matter
where! no matter where!

THE FATHER. Where could we go?

THE UNCLE. It is too late to go anywhere else. [_Silence. They are
sitting, motionless, round the table._]

THE GRANDFATHER. What is that I hear, Ursula?

THE DAUGHTER. Nothing, grandfather; it is the leaves falling.--Yes, it
is the leaves falling on the terrace.

THE GRANDFATHER. Go and shut the window, Ursula.

THE DAUGHTER. Yes, grandfather. [_She shuts the window, comes back, and
sits down._]

THE GRANDFATHER. I am cold. [_Silence. The Three Sisters kiss each
other._] What is that I hear now?

THE FATHER. It is the three sisters kissing each other.

THE UNCLE. It seems to me they are very pale this evening. [_Silence._]

THE GRANDFATHER. What is that I hear now, Ursula?

THE DAUGHTER. Nothing, grandfather; it is the clasping of my hands.
[_Silence._]

THE GRANDFATHER. And that?...

THE DAUGHTER. I do not know, grandfather ... perhaps my sisters are
trembling a little?...

THE GRANDFATHER. I am afraid, too, my children. [_Here a ray of
moonlight penetrates through a corner of the stained glass, and throws
strange gleams here and there in the room. A clock strikes midnight; at
the last stroke there is a very vague sound, as of some one rising in
haste._]

THE GRANDFATHER [_shuddering with peculiar horror_]. Who is that who got
up?

THE UNCLE. No one got up!

THE FATHER. I did not get up!

THE THREE DAUGHTERS. Nor I!--Nor I!--Nor I!

THE GRANDFATHER. Some one got up from the table!

THE UNCLE. Light the lamp!... [_Cries of terror are suddenly heard from
the child's room, on the right; these cries continue, with gradations of
horror, until the end of the scene._]

THE FATHER. Listen to the child!

THE UNCLE. He has never cried before!

THE FATHER. Let us go and see him!

THE UNCLE. The light! The light! [_At this moment, quick and heavy steps
are heard in the room on the left.--Then a deathly silence.--They listen
in mute terror, until the door of the room opens slowly; the light from
it is cast into the room where they are sitting, and the Sister of Mercy
appears on the threshold, in her black garments, and bows as she makes
the sign of the cross, to announce the death of the wife. They
understand, and, after a moment of hesitation and fright, silently enter
the chamber of death, while the Uncle politely steps aside on the
threshold to let the three girls pass. The blind man, left alone, gets
up, agitated, and feels his way round the table in the darkness._]

THE GRANDFATHER. Where are you going?--Where are you going?--The girls
have left me all alone!


  [_Curtain._]




INTERLUDE

  BY FEDERICO MORE
  TRANSLATED FROM THE SPANISH BY AUDREY ALDEN.


  Copyright, 1920, by Stewart & Kidd Company. All rights reserved.


  PERSONS

    THE MARQUISE.
    THE POET.


  Application for permission to produce INTERLUDE must be addressed to
  Pierre Loving, in care of Messrs. Stewart & Kidd Co., Cincinnati,
  Ohio.



INTERLUDE

BY FEDERICO MORE


  _Scene:_ A Salon.


MARQUISE [_entering_].

  It is chic yet full of peril to be a marquise, betrothed
  And on the brim of nineteen, with two whole years'
  Devotion at the convent behind her. Well may the man
  I am to marry place his faith in me.
  And yet, I am obsessed with the sweet indecision
  Of having met a poet who will shrive me in verse,
  Drape my life with the vigor of his youth
  Yet never kiss me.

POET [_entering_].

  I was looking for you, madame.

MARQUISE.

  Well, here I am.

POET.

  Does the dance tire you or the music displease?

MARQUISE.

  It has never before displeased me, and yet--now--

POET.

                          In a life
  Happy as yours, joy is reborn,
  Your moods are versatile, and charming, marquise....
  Bad humor de luxe ... perhaps mere caprice....

MARQUISE.

  Perhaps mere caprice ... perhaps; but I am prey
  To something more profound, something warmer....

POET.

              Have I not told you
  That in happy lives such as your high-placed life
  There is nothing of ennui, nothing to lead astray,
  Nothing to spur you on, nothing to unfold,
  Nor any dim wraith stalking by your side?

MARQUISE.

  Ah, you have uttered my thought. I feel as though a ghost walked with
  me.

POET.

        And I could almost swear
  You do not feel your grief molded as the phantom wills.

MARQUISE.

  I do feel it. There is a spell,
  An echo from afar.

POET.

      Nerves ... the dance ... fatigue!
  Too many perfumes ... too many mirrors....

MARQUISE.

  And the lack of a voice I love.

POET.

  Oh do not be romantic. Don't distort life.
  Romance has always proved an evil scourge.

MARQUISE.

  But you, a poet ... are not you romantic?

POET.

  I? Never.

MARQUISE.

  Then how do you write your verse?

POET.

                    I make poems
  The way your seamstresses make your dresses.

MARQUISE.

  With a pattern and a measure?

POET.

  With a pattern and a measure.

MARQUISE.

  Impossible! Poets give tongue to truth sublime.

POET.

  Pardon, marquise, but it is folly
  To think that poems are something more than needles
  On which to thread the truth.

MARQUISE.

  Truly, are they no more than that?

POET.

  Ephemeral and vain, in this age
  Poetry is woven of agile thought.

MARQUISE.

  What of the sort that weeps and yearns most woe-begone?
  Poignancy that is the ending of a poem?

POET.

                          All that
  Is reached with the noble aid of a consonant
  As great love is reached with a kiss.

MARQUISE.

  And what of the void in which my soul is lost
  Since no one, poet ... no one cries his need for me....

POET.

  Do not say that, marquise. I can assure you....

MARQUISE.

  That I am a motif for a handful of consonants?

POET.

  Nonsense! I swear it by your clear eyes....

MARQUISE.

  Comparable, I suppose, in verse to two clear diamonds....

POET.

  You scoff, but love is very serious....

MARQUISE.

  Love serious, poet? A betrothal, it may be, is serious,
  Arranged by grave-faced parents with stately rites;
  Yawns are serious and so is repletion.

POET.

  But tell me, whence comes this deep cynicism?

MARQUISE.

  Oh, do not take it ill. I say it but in jest,
  Merely because I like to laugh at the abyss,
  What do you think, poet?

POET.

          Well, marquise, I must confess
  That I am capable of feeling various loves.

MARQUISE.

  Then you were born for various women.

POET.

  No, I was born for various sorrows.

MARQUISE.

  Or, by the same token, for various pleasures.

POET.

  Sheer vanity! Women always presume
  That their mere earthly presence gives men pleasure.

MARQUISE.

              You are clear-witted
  And a pattern of such good common-sense.
  Who would believe
  That a poet, dabbler in every sort of folly,
  May turn discreet when mysterious love beckons?

POET.

  Mysterious love? Marquise, that is not so.... Love has abandons
  Irrestrainable.

MARQUISE.

          And shame restrains them.

POET.

  But what has shame to do with poetry?
  It has no worth, it is a social value,
  Value of a marquise, par excellence.

MARQUISE.

  None the less, shame is a resigned and subtle justice,
  The justice of women, poet.

POET.

          Which is no justice at all.

MARQUISE.

  Poet, the stones you throw
  In your defeat, will fall upon your head.

POET.

  That is my destiny. Your rising sun
  Can never know the splendor of my sun that sets.

MARQUISE.

  The fault is nowise mine....

POET.

  True.... I am insane
  And a madman is insane, marquise, although he reason.

MARQUISE.

  Oh, reason, poet. I would convince you
  That even a marquise may be sincere.

POET.

  And I, my lady, I would fain believe it.

MARQUISE.

  Believe it then, I beg of you.

POET.

                  But there is this:
  A marquise might also lose her head.

MARQUISE.

  True she might lose her head ... but for a rhyme?

POET.

  Which, no matter how true, will always be a lie.

    [_Pause._]

MARQUISE.

  But why did you protest against my skepticism?

POET.

  I riddled your words, but protested for myself.

MARQUISE.

  So vain a reason, and so selfish?

POET.

  A prideful reason.... I stand aghast before the abyss.

MARQUISE.

  I see that all your love has been in verse.

POET.

            No, marquise, but life
  Cradles crude truths which the poet disdains.

MARQUISE.

  And amiable truths which passion passes by.

POET.

  But about which the dreamer's world revolves.

MARQUISE.

  I do not dream, I wish....

POET.

          I know well what I wish....

MARQUISE.

  Well then, we wish that it should not be merely a consonant.

POET.

  No, rather that it should be poetry.

MARQUISE.

  Suppose that it were so, would it content you?

POET.

  It is enough for me, and yet I fear
  That this pale poetry, untried, unlived,
  Can have no driving urge.

MARQUISE.

  Why then should we refuse to live it?

POET.

  I shall tell you. It is not in high-born taste
  To trifle with a heart.
  The love of a marquise is the problematic
  Love of elegance and froth,
  And like other love a sort of mathematic
  Love of addition, subtraction and division.
  It is not rude passion, fierce, emphatic,
  Song and orchestral counterpoint of life.
  It is what the world would name platonic,
  Love without fire, without virility,
  With nothing of creation, nothing tonic,
  One-step love, love of society.
  And I will have none of this love sardonic,
  None of its desperate futility.

MARQUISE.

  I do not fear you though you are a poet,
  And I say things to you, no other ears would endure.
  You were not born, poor anchorite,
  To say to a woman: "Be mine."
  And such is your secret vanity,
  You are a servile vassal of your own Utopia.
  You pretend to transform women
  Into laurel branches meaningless,
  And with your cynic's blare
  You thread upon the needle of your pride
  Dregs from the utter depths of the abyss.

POET.

  Marquise, a poet's love has led you astray.

MARQUISE.

  Oh, don't be vain and fanciful. I swear
  That in my placid life, happiness brings no joy.
  What I longed for was a love, profound and mature,
  The profound love of a poet come to being,
  And not the incongruities of adolescence in verse....
  The radiant synthesis of a pungent existence
  And not the disloyalties of a dispersed dream.
  What woman has not dreamed of loving a poet
  Who would be conqueror and conquered all in one?
  What woman has not wished to be humble and forgiving
  With the man who sings the great passions he has known?
  We need you poets.... We are tormented by the desire
  Of a harmonious life, filled with deep sound,
  With the vigor and strength of wine poured out
  Into bowls of truths, deep with the depth of death.
  We crave no water, lymphatic, pure,
  In glasses of wind, frail as life.
  Better the vintage of the rich
  Served in vile glasses of gold. And if the mind be coarse,
  Perchance the hands will glitter with many stones.
  And if I may not have a fragrant and well-ordered nest
  Filled with clear rhythm and little blond heads,
  Then let me have my palace where luxurious pleasure
  Lends to love of earth, grief and deep dismay.
  Why do you not love living, poets? Why is it,
  The dullard who nor loves nor lives poaches your kisses?

POET.

  I do not comprehend, marquise. Why love living,
  If that is to live loving? We know that life and love
  Are wings forever fledging out
  In a bird neither swan nor hawk.
  I am resigned to my unequal destiny, for I know
  That my two eyes cannot perceive the same color.
  For even when there is calm, anxiety arises
  And then, I am not master, not even of my pain.
  I would be your friend, but there are obstacles,
  Captious dynamics, that put a check upon my words.
  I yield to the dumb pride of my huge torment,
  The song without words, the sonorous silence,
  And I do not desire any one to penetrate
  The garden wherein flowers the mystery I adore.

MARQUISE.

  Conserve your mysteries, poet; they will have no heirs.

POET.

  Death is the heir of everything impenetrable.

MARQUISE.

  But only during life do the words of the sphinx
  Possess a meaning for our ears.

POET.

  I am terror-stricken by the sphinx.

MARQUISE.

  Coward! The sun blinds him who cannot hearken to the sphinx.

    [_Sounds of music in the distance._]

POET.

  Does not the music tempt you?

MARQUISE.

            It does, and I feel sure
  My lover must be waiting. Will you come with me?

POET.

  No, thanks. I shall remain and think of what has died.

MARQUISE.

  May you have the protection of my defunct illusion.

    [_She goes out._]


  [_Curtain._]




MONSIEUR LAMBLIN

  A COMEDY

  BY GEORGE ANCEY
  TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH BY BARRETT H. CLARK.


  CHARACTERS

    LAMBLIN.
    MARTHE.
    MADAME BAIL.
    MADAME COGÉ.
    SERVANT.


  First published in the _Stratford Journal_, March, 1917. Reprinted by
  permission of Mr. Barrett H. Clark.



MONSIEUR LAMBLIN

A COMEDY BY GEORGE ANCEY

Translated from the French by Barrett H. Clark.


    [_A stylish drawing-room. There are doors at the back, and on each
    side. Down-stage to the right is a window; near it, but protected
    by a screen, is a large arm-chair near a sewing-table. Down-stage
    opposite is a fire-place, on each side of which, facing it, are a
    sofa and another large arm-chair; next the sofa is a small table,
    and next to it, in turn, a stool and two chairs. This part of the
    stage should be so arranged as to make a little cozy-corner. The
    set is completed by various and sundry lamps, vases with flowers,
    and the like._

    _As the curtain rises, the servant enters to Lamblin, Marthe and
    Madame Bail, bringing coffee and cigarettes, which he lays on the
    small table._]


LAMBLIN [_settling comfortably into his chair_]. Ah, how comfortable it
is! Mm--! [_To Marthe._] Serve us our coffee, my child, serve us our
coffee.

MARTHE [_sadly_]. Yes, yes.

LAMBLIN [_aside_]. Always something going round and round in that little
head of hers! Needn't worry about it--nothing serious.--Well,
Mother-in-law, what do you say to the laces, eh?

MADAME BAIL. Delicious! It must have cost a small fortune! You have
twenty yards there!

LAMBLIN. Five thousand francs! Five thousand francs! [_To Marthe._] Yes,
madame, your husband was particularly generous. He insists upon making
his wife the most beautiful of women and giving her everything her heart
desires. Has he succeeded?

MARTHE. Thank you. I've really never seen such lovely malines. Madame
Pertuis ordered some lately and they're not nearly so beautiful as
these.

LAMBLIN. I'm glad to hear it. Well, aren't you going to kiss your
husband--for his trouble? [_She kisses him._] Good! There, now.

MADAME BAIL [_to Lamblin_]. You spoil her!

LAMBLIN [_to Marthe_]. Do I spoil you?

MARTHE. Yes, yes, of course.

LAMBLIN. That's right. Everybody happy? That's all we can ask, isn't
that so, Mamma Bail? Take care, I warn you! If you continue to look at
me that way I'm likely to become dangerous!

MADAME BAIL. Silly man.

LAMBLIN. Ha!

MADAME BAIL [_to Marthe_]. Laugh, why don't you?

MARTHE. I do.

LAMBLIN [_bringing his wife to him and putting her upon his knee_]. No,
no, but you don't laugh enough, little one. Now, to punish you, I'm
going to give you another kiss. [_He kisses her._]

MARTHE. Oh! Your beard pricks so! Now, take your coffee, or it'll get
cold, and then you'll scold Julie again. [_A pause._]

LAMBLIN. It looks like pleasant weather to-morrow!

MADAME BAIL. What made you think of that?

LAMBLIN. The particles of sugar have all collected at the bottom of my
cup. [_He drinks his coffee._]

MADAME BAIL. As a matter of fact, I hope the weather will be nice.

LAMBLIN. Do you have to go out?

MADAME BAIL. I must go to Argentuil.

LAMBLIN. Now, my dear mother-in-law, what are you going to do at
Argentuil? I have an idea that there must be some old general there--?

MADAME BAIL [_ironically_]. Exactly! How would you like it if--?

LAMBLIN. Don't joke about such things!

MADAME BAIL. You needn't worry! Catch me marrying again!

LAMBLIN [_timidly_]. There is a great deal to be said for the happiness
of married life.

MADAME BAIL. For the men!

LAMBLIN. For every one. Is not the hearth a refuge, a sacred spot, where
both man and woman find sweet rest after a day's work? Deny it, Mother.
Here we are, the three of us, each doing what he likes to do, in our
comfortable little home, talking together happily. The mind is at rest,
and the heart quiet. Six years of family life have brought us security
in our affection, and rendered us kind and indulgent toward one another.
It is ineffably sweet, and brings tears to the eyes. [_He starts to take
a sip of cognac._]

MARTHE [_preventing him_]. Especially when one is a little--lit up!

MADAME BAIL. Marthe, that's not at all nice of you!

LAMBLIN [_to Madame Bail_]. Ah, you're the only one who understands me,
Mother! Now, little one, you're going to give me a cigar, one of those
on the table.

MARTHE [_giving him a cigar_]. Lazy! He can't even stretch his arm out!

LAMBLIN. You see, I prefer to have my little wife serve me and be nice
to me.

MADAME BAIL [_looking at them both_]. Shall I go?

LAMBLIN. Why should you?

MADAME BAIL. Well--because--

LAMBLIN [_understanding_]. Oh! No, no, stay with us and tell us stories.
The little one is moody and severe, I don't dare risk putting my arm
around her. Her religion forbids her--expanding!

MADAME BAIL. Then you don't think I'll be in the way?

LAMBLIN. You, Mother! I tell you, the day I took it into my head to
bring you here to live with us, I was an extremely clever man. It's most
convenient to have you here. Men of business like me haven't the time to
spend all their leisure moments with their wives. Very often, after a
day's work at the office, I'm not at liberty to spend the evening at
home: I must return to the office, you know.

MARTHE. As you did yesterday!

LAMBLIN. As I did yesterday. And when I take it into my head to stroll
along the boulevard--

MADAME BAIL. Or elsewhere!

LAMBLIN. You insist on your little joke, Mother. If, I say, I take it
into my head to go out, there's the little one all alone. You came here
to live with us, and now my conscious is easy: I leave my little wife in
good hands. I need not worry. There were a thousand liberties I never
indulged in before you came. Now I take them without the slightest
scruple.

MADAME BAIL. How kind of you!

LAMBLIN. Don't you think so, little one?

MARTHE. I believe that Mamma did exactly the right thing.

LAMBLIN. You see, I want people to be happy. It is not enough that I
should be: every one must be who is about me. I can't abide selfish
people.

MADAME BAIL. You're right!

LAMBLIN. And it's so easy not to be! [_A pause._] There is only one
thing worrying me now: I brought a whole package of papers with me from
the office, which I must sign.

MARTHE. How is business now?

LAMBLIN. Not very good.

MARTHE. Did M. Pacot reimburse you?

MADAME BAIL. Yes, did he?

LAMBLIN. It's been pretty hard these past three days, but I am
reimbursed, and that's all I ask. Now I'm going to sign my papers. It
won't take me more than a quarter of an hour. I'll find you here when I
come back, shan't I? [_To Marthe._] And the little one will leave me my
cognac, eh? See you soon.

MADAME BAIL. Yes, see you soon.

LAMBLIN [_to Marthe_]. You'll let me have my cognac?

MARTHE. No! It's ridiculous! It'll make you ill. [_Lamblin goes out._]

MADAME BAIL. There's a good boy!

MARTHE. You always stand up for him. The world is full of "good boys" of
his sort. "Good boys"! They're all selfish!

MADAME BAIL. Don't get so excited!

MARTHE. I'm not in the least excited. I'm as calm now as I was excited a
year ago when I learned of Alfred's affair.

MADAME BAIL. I understand.

MARTHE. No, you don't understand.

MADAME BAIL. You didn't behave at all reasonably, as you ought to have
done long since. You still have absurd romantic ideas. You're not at all
reasonable.

MARTHE [_very much put out_]. Well, if I still have those absurd ideas,
if I rebel at times, if, as you say, I'm unreasonable, whom does it harm
but me alone? What do you expect? The bare idea of sharing him is
repulsive to me. Think of it a moment--how perfectly abominable it all
is! Why, we are practically accomplices! I thought we were going to
discuss it with him just now! It will happen, I know!

MADAME BAIL. What do you intend to do about it? You keep on saying the
same thing. I'm an experienced woman. Why don't you take my word, and be
a philosopher, the way all women are, the way I've had to be more than
once? If you think for one moment that your own father--! Well, we won't
say anything about him.

MARTHE. Philosopher, philosopher! A nice way to put it! In what way is
that Mathilde Cogé, who is his mistress, better than I? I'd like to know
that!

MADAME BAIL. In any event, he might have done much worse. She is a
widow, a woman of the world, and she isn't ruining him. I know her
slightly; I've seen her at Madame Parent's. She just seems a little mad,
and not in the least spiteful!

MARTHE [_raging_]. Ah!

MADAME BAIL. But what are you going to do about it?

MARTHE. It would be best to separate.

MADAME BAIL. Why didn't you think of that sooner? You know very well
you'd be sorry the moment you'd done it.

MARTHE. Don't you think that would be best for us all? What am I doing
here? What hopes have I for the future? Merely to complete the happiness
of Monsieur, who deigns to see in me an agreeable nurse, who
occasionally likes to rest by my side after his escapades elsewhere!
Thank you so much! I might just as well go!

MADAME BAIL. That would be madness. You wouldn't be so foolish as to do
it.

MARTHE. Yes--I know--society would blame me!

MADAME BAIL. That's the first point. We should submit to everything
rather than do as some others do and fly in the face of convention. We
belong to society.

MARTHE. In that case I should at least have peace.

MADAME BAIL. Peace! Nothing of the sort, my dear. You know very well,
you would have regrets.

MARTHE [_ironically_]. What regrets?

MADAME BAIL. God knows! Perhaps, though you don't know it, you still
love him, in some hidden corner of your heart. You may pity him. You can
go a long way with that feeling. Perhaps you have same vague
hope--[_Marthe is about to speak._] Well, we won't say any more about
that. And then you are religious, you have a big forgiving soul. Aren't
these sufficient reasons for waiting? You may regret it. Believe me, my
dear child. [_Marthe stands silent, and Madame Bail changes her attitude
and tone of voice._] Now, you must admit, you haven't so much to
complain of. Your husband is far from the worst; indeed, he's one of the
best. What would you do if you were in Madame Ponceau's position? Her
husband spends all their money and stays away for two and three months
at a time. He goes away, is not seen anywhere, and when he returns, he
has the most terrible scenes with poor Marie, and even beats her! Now,
Alfred is very good to you, pays you all sorts of attentions, he comes
home three evenings a week, gives you all sorts of presents. And these
laces! He never bothers you or abuses you. See how nice he was just a
few minutes ago, simple and natural! He was lovely, and said the
pleasantest imaginable things.

MARTHE [_bitterly_]. He flattered you!

MADAME BAIL. That isn't the reason!

MARTHE. That you say nice things about him? Nonsense! He pleases and
amuses you. You don't want me to apply for a separation because you want
him near you, and because you are afraid of what people will say. Be
frank and admit it.

MADAME BAIL. Marthe, that's not at all nice of you.

MARTHE. It's the truth.

MADAME BAIL. No, no, nothing of the sort.

MARTHE. Another thing that grates on me in this life we are leading is
to see the way my mother takes her son-in-law's part against me. You
find excuses for him on every occasion; and your one fear seems to be
that he should hear some random word that will wound him; and the proof
is that he never interrupts one of our conversations--which are always
on the same subject--but that you don't fail to make desperate signs to
me to keep still!

MADAME BAIL. What an idea! [_Marthe is about to reply, when Madame Bail
perceives Lamblin reëntering, and signs to Martha to say nothing more._]
It's he! [_Marthe shrugs her shoulders._]

    [_Enter Lamblin._]

LAMBLIN [_joyfully_]. There, that's done. One hundred and two
signatures. Kiss me, little one. In less than an hour I've earned a
thousand francs for us. Isn't that splendid?

    [_Enter a servant._]

SERVANT. Monsieur?

LAMBLIN. What is it?

SERVANT [_embarrassed_]. Some one--from the office--who wishes to speak
with Monsieur.

LAMBLIN. From the office? At this time?

SERVANT. Yes, Monsieur.

LAMBLIN. Say that I am with my family, and that I am not receiving any
one.

SERVANT. That is what I said, but the--person--insists.

LAMBLIN. How annoying!

MADAME BAIL. See him, dear, Marthe and I will go out and you may see him
here. No one will disturb you.

MARTHE. Yes, it's best to see him! [_They make ready to go out; pick up
their work, and so on._]

LAMBLIN [_to the servant_]. Tell him to come in. [_The servant goes
out._]

MARTHE [_to Madame Bail, as she points after the servant_]. Did you
notice? Adolphe was very embarrassed!

MADAME BAIL. Now what are you going to worry about?

MARTHE. I tell you, I saw it! [_The women go out._]

LAMBLIN. This is too much! Not a moment of peace!

    [_Enter Madame Cogé._]

You?

MADAME COGÉ. What do you think of my trick?

LAMBLIN. Detestable as well as dangerous.

MADAME COGÉ. Come, come. I wanted to go to the _Bouffes_, and I wanted
you to go with me. It's nine o'clock, but we'll be in time for the
principal play.

LAMBLIN. No, no, no, impossible. And what do you mean by falling upon me
this way without warning! My dear Mathilde, what were you thinking
about?

MADAME COGÉ. I decided this morning. You were so nice yesterday!

LAMBLIN. You must go at once! What if some one found you here?

MADAME COGÉ. Your wife? Quick, then, we must be going. Take your hat,
say good-by. I'll wait for you downstairs. I have a cab. [_A pause._]

LAMBLIN. I tell you, it's out of the question. Go alone. I have a
headache--I've smoked too much.

MADAME COGÉ. You refuse? And I was looking forward so--!

LAMBLIN. Now, listen to me, my dear: I have told you once for all, I'm
not a rounder. I like everything well regulated. I have my own little
habits, and I don't like something to come along and upset everything.
I'm very much of a family man, I've often impressed that fact upon you,
and I'm astonished, perfectly astonished, that you don't take that into
account.

MADAME COGÉ [_in a high voice_]. You make me tired. So there.

LAMBLIN. Don't scream so! I tell you, I wouldn't go out to-night for
anything under the sun. Yesterday, Heaven knows, I was only too happy to
be with you: we enjoyed ourselves; it was most pleasant. As for this
evening--no: to-morrow. We decided on Mondays, Wednesday, Fridays, and a
Sunday from time to time. I have no wish to alter that schedule. I'm
regulated like a cuckoo clock. You don't seem to believe that. I strike
when I'm intended to strike.

MADAME COGÉ. That is as much as to say that you like me three days a
week, and the rest of the time I mean as little to you as the Grand
Turk! That's a queer kind of love!

LAMBLIN. Not at all. I think of you very often, and if you were to
disappear, I should miss you a great deal. Only it's a long way between
that and disturbing my equilibrium.

MADAME COGÉ. And I suppose you love your wife?

LAMBLIN. Are you jealous?

MADAME COGÉ. I am, and I have reason to be be....

LAMBLIN. How childish of you! You know very well that you are the only
woman, only--

MADAME COGÉ. Ah, there is an "only"!

LAMBLIN. Yes,--only, just because I love you is no reason why I should
feel no affection for her, and that you should treat her as you do! She
is so devoted!

MADAME COGÉ. What is there so extraordinary about her?

LAMBLIN [_becoming excited_]. She does for me what others would not
do--you for instance! She has a steady affection for me; I keep it for
my bad moments; her action doesn't turn in every wind. You should see
her, so resigned, so anxious to do everything for my comfort and
convenience! She's worried when I have a headache, she runs for my
slippers when I come home in wet weather--from your house! [_Deeply
moved._] You see that cognac there? That was the second glass I poured
out for myself this evening; the moment I started to drink it her little
hand stretched forth and took it from me, because she said I would make
myself ill! [_He starts to weep._] You know, I poured it out just in
order that she should prevent my drinking it. These things stir the
heart! [_A pause._] Now you must go.

MADAME COGÉ. No, no. I love you, and I--

LAMBLIN. You are selfish. And you know I can't stand selfish people. You
want to deprive me of a quiet evening in the bosom of my family.

MADAME COGÉ. I want you to love me, and me alone. I want you to leave
your home if need be.

LAMBLIN. Yes, and if I were to fall sick--which might happen, though I
have a strong constitution, thank God!--I know you. You're the best
woman in the world, but that doesn't prevent your being a little
superficial!

MADAME COGÉ. Superficial!

LAMBLIN. Yes, you are, and you can't deny it! Your dropping in on me,
like a bolt from the blue, proves it conclusively. And when you once
begin chattering about yourself, about your dresses, oh, my! You never
stop. You can't be serious, your conversation is not the sort that
pleases a man, flatters and amuses him.

MADAME COGÉ. Oh!

LAMBLIN. You never talk about _him_! One night I remember, I was a
little sick and you sent me home. _There_ they made tea for me. The cook
was already in bed, and Marthe didn't hesitate an instant to go to the
kitchen and soil her hands!

MADAME COGÉ. When was that? When was that?

LAMBLIN. For God's sake, don't scream so! Not more than two weeks ago.

MADAME COGÉ. You didn't say what was the matter with you, that's all.

LAMBLIN. I complained enough, Heaven knows. [_A pause._]

MADAME COGÉ. Then you won't come?

LAMBLIN. No.

MADAME COGÉ [_resolutely_]. Very well, then, farewell.

LAMBLIN. Now, you mustn't get angry. [_He puts his arm round her
waist_]. You know I can't do without you. You are always my dear little
Mathilde, my darling little girl. Aren't you? Do you remember yesterday,
eh? You know I love you--deeply?

MADAME COGÉ. On Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and from time to time on
Sundays. Thanks! [_She starts to go._]

LAMBLIN. Mathilde!

MADAME COGÉ. Good evening. [_Returning to him._] Do you want me to tell
you something? Though I may be superficial, _you_ are a selfish egotist,
and you find your happiness in the tears and suffering of those who love
you! Good-by! [_She starts to go again._]

LAMBLIN. Mathilde, Mathilde, dear! To-morrow?

MADAME COGÉ [_returning_]. Do you want me to tell you something else?
When a man is married and wants to have a mistress, he would do much
better and act more uprightly to leave his wife!

LAMBLIN [_simply_]. Why?

MADAME COGÉ. Why?--Good evening! [_She goes out._]

LAMBLIN. Mathilde, Mathilde! Did I make her angry? Oh, she'll forget it
all in a quarter of an hour. My, what a headache! [_Catching sight of
Marthe, who enters from the right._] Marthe! She looks furious! She saw
Mathilde go out! What luck!

MARTHE [_furiously_]. Who was that who just left?

LAMBLIN. Why--

MARTHE. Who was that who just left? Answer me!

LAMBLIN. It was--

MARTHE. Madame Cogé, wasn't it? Don't lie, I saw her! What can you be
thinking of? To bring your mistress here! I don't know what's prevented
my going away before, and leaving you to your debauchery! This is the
end--understand? I've had enough. You're going to live alone from now
on. [_He starts to speak._] Alone. Good-by, monsieur!

LAMBLIN [_moved_]. Marthe! [_She dashes out. Lamblin goes to the door
through which Marthe has gone._] Marthe, Marthe, little one! Tell me
that you forgive me. [_Coming down-stage._] It's all up! Good Lord!

    [_Enter Madame Bail._]

LAMBLIN [_goes to her, nearly in tears_]. Oh, Mother, all is lost!

MADAME BAIL. No, no, you great child! I know everything, and I promise
it will be all right.

LAMBLIN. No, no, I tell you. Marthe told me she wanted to leave me.

MADAME BAIL. Now, don't carry on that way. I don't want to see you cry.

LAMBLIN. But how can I be calm when my whole future is ruined?

MADAME BAIL. Nothing of the sort. Don't you think I know my own
daughter? She is too well educated, she has too much common sense, to
leave you.

LAMBLIN [_a little consoled_]. You think so? Oh, if that were only true!

MADAME BAIL. But it is true! She's crying now; her tears will ease her,
and make her change her mind.

LAMBLIN. Yes, yes, let her cry, let her cry all she wants to!

MADAME BAIL. I tell you she is yours; she loves you.

LAMBLIN [_brightening_]. Is that true? [_Madame Bail nods._] How happy I
am! [_A pause. His attitude changes._] But there's one thing that
troubles me.

MADAME BAIL. What?

LAMBLIN [_embarrassed_]. No, nothing.

MADAME BAIL. Confide in me. Tell me. [_A pause._]

LAMBLIN. Well, that lady who came here this evening--I'm afraid I was a
little short with her. I think I offended her. I practically showed her
the door.

MADAME BAIL. Don't worry about that. Perhaps you weren't so rude as you
thought you were.

LAMBLIN. No, I'm sure. I know very well that--

MADAME BAIL. You mustn't worry and get all excited--

LAMBLIN. Do you know anything about it?

MADAME BAIL. No, nothing, only--as I rather suspected what was going on
in here--and was afraid--of a quarrel--I met her as she was going out,
and I--spoke to her.

LAMBLIN [_taking her hands--joyfully_]. I thank you! [_They are both
embarrassed for a moment, then sit down._] Ah, good. Well, and Marthe?

MADAME BAIL [_pointing to Marthe who enters_]. There she is. What did I
tell you? [_Marthe enters without saying a word. She brings her work,
Madame Bail takes up hers, and sits next her. A pause. Madame Bail
speaks to Marthe._] What a pretty design! Where did you find the
pattern?

MARTHE. I just picked it up at the store.

MADAME BAIL. It's charming. I must get one like it.

LAMBLIN [_ill at ease_]. May I see it, little one? [_Marthe unrolls the
embroidery for him and shows it._] Oh, it's perfectly lovely! We men
would be hard put to it to make anything half as beautiful! [_He laughs
awkwardly, and pours out some cognac, in full sight of Marthe._]

MARTHE [_quickly_]. That's ridiculous, Alfred. [_Then she says slowly,
as she lowers her eyes._] You'll make yourself ill!

LAMBLIN [_in perfect contentment_]. How charming she is!


  [_Curtain._]




FRANÇOISE' LUCK

  A COMEDY

  BY GEORGES DE PORTO-RICHE
  (La Chance de Françoise.)
  TRANSLATED BY BARRETT H. CLARK.


  Copyright, 1917, by Stewart & Kidd Company.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS REPRESENTED

    MARCEL DESROCHES.
    GUÉRIN.
    JEAN.
    FRANÇOISE.
    MADELEINE.

  SCENE: _Auteuil_.
  TIME: _Present_.

  Presented for the first time December 10,1888, in Paris, at the
  Théâtre Libre.


  FRANÇOISE' LUCK is reprinted from "Four Plays of the Free Theatre,"
  translated by Barrett H. Clark by permission of Messrs. Stewart & Kidd
  Company, Cincinnati, Ohio.



FRANÇOISE' LUCK

A COMEDY BY GEORGES DE PORTO-RICHE


    [_A studio. At the back is a door opening upon a garden; doors to
    the right and left; likewise a small inconspicuous door to the
    left. There are a few pictures on easels. The table is littered
    with papers, books, weapons, bric-a-brac. Chairs and sofas. It is
    eleven o'clock in the morning._]


FRANÇOISE [_a small, frail woman, with a melancholy look, at times
rather mocking. As the curtain rises she is alone. She raises and lowers
the window-blind from time to time_]. A little more! There! Oh, the
sunlight! How blinding! [_Glancing at the studio with satisfaction._]
How neat everything is! [_In attempting to take something from the
table, she knocks some papers to the floor._] Well! [_Seeing a letter,
among the papers she is picking up._] A letter! From Monsieur
Guérin--[_Reading._] "My dear friend, why do you persist in keeping
silence? You say very little of the imprudent woman who has dared to
become the companion of the handsome Marcel! Do you recompense her for
her confidence in you, for her courage? You are not at all like other
men: your frivolity, if you will permit the term, your--" [_Interrupting
herself._] He writes the word! [_Continuing._] "Your cynicism makes me
tremble for you. Absent for a year! How much friendship gone to waste!
Why were we thrust apart the moment you were married? Why did my wife's
health make sunlight an absolute necessity for her? We are now leaving
Rome; in a month I'll drop in on you at Auteuil--" [_Interrupting
herself again._] Very soon!

    [_Marcel appears at the back._]

"I am very impatient to see you, and Very anxious to see Madame
Desroches. I wonder whether she will take to me? I hope she will. Take
care, you villain, I shall cross-question her carefully, and if I find
the slightest shadow upon her happiness, her friend-to-be will be an
angry man." [_She stops reading and says to herself, sadly._] A
friend--I should like that!

MARCEL [_carelessly dressed. He is of the type that appeals to women_].
Ah, inquisitive, you read my letters?

FRANÇOISE. Oh, it's an old one--

MARCEL [_chaffing her_]. From Guérin?

FRANÇOISE. I found it there, when I was putting the studio in order.

MARCEL [_tenderly_]. The little romantic child is looking for a friend?

FRANÇOISE. I have so much to tell, so much about my recent happiness!

MARCEL. Am I not that friend?

FRANÇOISE. You are the man I love. Should I consult with you, where your
happiness is concerned?

MARCEL. Too deep for me! [_Yawning._] Oh, I'm tired!

FRANÇOISE. Did you come in late last night?

MARCEL. Three o'clock.

FRANÇOISE. You were very quiet, you naughty man!

MARCEL. Were you jealous?

FRANÇOISE. The idea! I am morally certain that you love no one except
your wife.

MARCEL [_sadly_]. It's true, I love no one except my wife.

FRANÇOISE [_chaffing him in turn_]. Poor Marcel!

MARCEL. I was bored to death at that supper; I can't imagine why.--They
all tell me I'm getting stout.

FRANÇOISE. That's no reason why you shouldn't please.

MARCEL. God is very unjust.

FRANÇOISE. So they say!

MARCEL [_stretching out on a sofa_]. Excuse my appearance, won't you,
Françoise? [_Making himself comfortable._] I can't keep my eyes open
any longer nowadays. The days of my youth--Why, I was--[_He stops._]

FRANÇOISE. You were just the right age for marriage.

MARCEL [_as if to banish the idea_]. Oh! [_A pause._] I'm sure you will
get along well with Guérin. Yours are kindred spirits--you're alike--not
in looks, however.

FRANÇOISE. Morally, you mean?

MARCEL. Yes, The comparison flatters him.

FRANÇOISE. He's like this, then; sentimental, a good friend, and a man
of honor. Yes, I think I shall get along nicely with him.

MARCEL. What a sympathetic nature you have! You've never seen him, and
you know him already.

FRANÇOISE. How long has he been married?

MARCEL. He was born married!

FRANÇOISE. Tell me.

MARCEL. Ten years, I think.

FRANÇOISE. He's happy.

MARCEL. Very.

FRANÇOISE. What sort of woman is she?

MARCEL. Lively.

FRANÇOISE. Though virtuous?

MARCEL. So they say.

FRANÇOISE. Then Madame Guérin and the handsome Martel--eh?

MARCEL. A friend's wife?

FRANÇOISE. It's very tempting--[_Marcel seems to take this with
ill-humor; he is about to put on his hat._] Are you going out?

MARCEL. I lunch at the club.

FRANÇOISE. Very well.

MARCEL. I'm--a little nervous; I need a breath of air.

FRANÇOISE. Paris air!

MARCEL. Precisely.

FRANÇOISE. And your work?

MARCEL. I'm not in the mood.

FRANÇOISE. It's only ten days before the Salon: you'll never be ready.

MARCEL. What chance have I, with my talent?

FRANÇOISE. You have a great deal of talent--it's recognized everywhere.

MARCEL. I did have.

    [_A pause._]

FRANÇOISE. Will you be home for dinner?

MARCEL [_tenderly_]. Of course! And don't allow any black suspicion to
get the better of you: I'm not lunching with anybody!

FRANÇOISE. I suspect you!

MARCEL [_gratefully_]. 'Til later, then! [_A pause. Frankly._] Of
course, I don't always go where I tell you I'm going. Why should I worry
you? But if you think I--do what I ought not to do, you are mistaken.
I'm no longer a bachelor, you know.

FRANÇOISE. Just a trifle, aren't you?

MARCEL. No jealousy, dear! The day of adventures is dead and buried.
Thirty-five mortal years, a scarcity of hair, a noticeable
rotundity--and married! Opportunities are fewer now!

FRANÇOISE [_playfully_]. Don't lose courage, your luck may return. A
minute would suffice.

MARCEL [_mournfully_]. I don't dare hope.

FRANÇOISE. Married! It was never your destiny to be a proprietor, you
are doomed to be a tenant.

MARCEL [_as he is about to leave, sees a letter on the table_]. Oh, a
letter, and you said nothing to me about it!

FRANÇOISE. I didn't see it. Jean must have brought it while you were
asleep.

MARCEL. From Passy! I know that hand! [_Aside, with surprise._] Madame
Guérin--Madeleine! Well! [_Reading._] "My dear friend I lunch to-day
with my aunt Madame de Monglat, at La Muette--as I used to. Come and see
me before noon, I have serious things to discuss with you." [_He stops
reading; aside, much pleased._] A rendezvous! And after three years!
Poor Guérin! No! It wouldn't be decent now! No!

FRANÇOISE [_aside_]. He seems to be waking up!

MARCEL [_aside_]. They must have returned! Françoise was right--a minute
would suffice! The dear girl!

FRANÇOISE. No bad news?

MARCEL [_in spite of himself_]. On the contrary!

FRANÇOISE. Oh!

MARCEL [_embarrassed_]. It's from that American woman who saw my picture
the other day--at Goupil's, you remember? She insists that I give it to
her for ten thousand francs. I really think I'll let her have it.
Nowadays you never can tell--

FRANÇOISE. I think you would be very wise to sell.

MARCEL [_handing her the letter_]. Don't you believe me?

FRANÇOISE. Absolutely.

    [_Marcel puts the letter in his pocket. A pause._]

MARCEL [_hesitating before he leaves; aside_]. She's a darling; a
perfect little darling.

FRANÇOISE. Then you're not going out?

MARCEL [_surprised_]. Do you want to send me away?

FRANÇOISE. If you're going out to lunch, you had better hurry--the train
leaves in a few minutes.

MARCEL [_suddenly affectionate_]. How can I hurry when you are so
charming? You're adorable this morning!

FRANÇOISE. D'you think so?

    [_A pause._]

MARCEL [_aside_]. Curious, but every time I have a rendezvous, she is
like that!

FRANÇOISE. Good-by, then; I've had enough of you! If you stay you'll
upset all my plans. I'd quite made up my mind to be melancholy and
lonely. It's impossible to be either gay or sad with you! Run along!

MARCEL [_taking off his hat, which he had put on some moments before_].
I tell you this is my house, and this my studio. Your house is there by
the garden.

FRANÇOISE. Yes, it's only there that you are my husband.

MARCEL. Oh! [_Reproachfully, and with tenderness._] Tell me, Françoise,
why don't you ever want to go out with me?

FRANÇOISE. You know I don't like society.

MARCEL. I'm seen so much alone!

FRANÇOISE. So much the better for you; you will be taken for a bachelor!

MARCEL. One might think the way you talk, that husband and wife ought
never to live together.

FRANÇOISE. Perhaps I'd see you oftener if we weren't married!

MARCEL. Isn't it a pleasure to you, Madame, to be in the arms of your
husband?

FRANÇOISE. Isn't it likewise a pleasure to be able to say, "He is free,
I am not his wife, he is not my husband; I am not his duty, a millstone
around his neck; I am his avocation, his love? If he leaves me, I know
he is tired of me, but if he comes back, then I know he loves me"?

MARCEL. Françoise, you are an extremist!

FRANÇOISE. You think so?

MARCEL. You are.

FRANÇOISE. Well?

MARCEL. I know your philosophy is nothing but love. [_A pause._] You cry
sometimes, don't you? When I'm not here?

FRANÇOISE. Just a little.

MARCEL. I make you very unhappy! When you are sad, don't conceal it from
me, Françoise; one of your tears would make me do anything in the world
for you.

FRANÇOISE. One, yes! But, many?

MARCEL. Don't make fun of me: I am serious. If I told you that my
affection for you is as great as yours, I--

FRANÇOISE. You would be lying.

MARCEL. Perhaps! But I think I adore you! Every time I leave you, I feel
so lonely; I wander about like a lost soul! I think something must be
happening to you. And when I come home at midnight, and open the door, I
feel an exquisite sensation--Is that love? You ought to know--you are an
adept!

FRANÇOISE. Perhaps.

MARCEL [_unthinkingly_]. You know, Françoise, one can never be sure of
one's self.

FRANÇOISE. Of course!

MARCEL. No one can say, "I love to-day, and I shall love to-morrow." You
or any one else.

FRANÇOISE [_offended_]. I?

MARCEL. How can you tell, whether in fifteen years--?

FRANÇOISE. Oh, I'm a little child--I'm different from the others: I
shall always love the same man all his life. But go on, you were saying?

MARCEL. Nothing. I want you to be happy, in spite of everything, no
matter what may happen--no matter what I may do.

FRANÇOISE. Even if you should deceive me?

MARCEL [_tenderly_]. Deceive you? Never! I care nothing about other
women! You are my happiness--not a mere pastime.

FRANÇOISE. Alas!

MARCEL. Why alas?

FRANÇOISE. Because it is easier to do without happiness than pleasure.

MARCEL [_tenderly_]. Oh, you are all that is highest and best in my
life. I prefer you to everything else! Let a woman come between us, and
she shall have me to deal with! Call it selfishness, if you will, or
egotism--but your peace of mind is an absolute necessity to me!

FRANÇOISE. You need not prepare me for the future, you bad boy: I
resigned myself to "possibilities" some time ago. I'm inexperienced and
young in years, but I'm older than you.

MARCEL. Shall I tell you something? I never deserved you!

FRANÇOISE. That's true.

MARCEL. When I think how happy you might have made some good and worthy
man, and that--

FRANÇOISE. Who then would have made me happy?

MARCEL. You are not happy now.

FRANÇOISE. I didn't marry for happiness; I married in order to have you.

MARCEL. I'm a fool! It would be nice, wouldn't it, if I were an
unfaithful husband!

FRANÇOISE. I'm sure you will never be that.

MARCEL. Do you really think so?

FRANÇOISE. I am positive. What would be the use in deceiving me? I
should be so unhappy, and you wouldn't be a bit happier.

MARCEL. You are right.

FRANÇOISE. No, you will not deceive me. To begin with, I have great
luck.

MARCEL [_gayly_]. Of course, you have; you don't know how much!

FRANÇOISE [_coquettishly_]. Tell me!

MARCEL. What a child you are!

MARCEL. I should think so! Sometimes I imagine that my happiness does
not lie altogether in those sparkling eyes of yours and I try to fall in
love with another woman; I fall in deeper and deeper for a week or two,
and think I am terribly infatuated. But just as I am about to take the
fatal leap, I fail: Françoise' luck, you see! At bottom, I'm a
commencer; I can't imagine what it is that saves me--and you. Sometimes
_she_ has done something to displease me, sometimes a divine word from
your lips--and a mere nothing, something quite insignificant! For
instance, Wednesday, I missed the train, and came back and had dinner
with you. You see, Françoise' luck!

FRANÇOISE. Then you're not going out to-day, are you?

MARCEL. Nor to-morrow; the whole day is yours. We'll close the door.

FRANÇOISE. Aren't you happy?

MARCEL [_kissing her behind the ear_]. Hurry up, you lazy child!

FRANÇOISE. I'm not pretty, but I have my good points.

MARCEL. Not pretty?

FRANÇOISE. No, but I deserve to be.

    [_Madeleine appears at the back._]

MADELEINE. I beg your pardon!

    [_Françoise gives an exclamation of surprise and escapes through
    the door to the right without looking again at the visitor._]

MARCEL [_surprised_]. Madeleine!

    [_A pause._]

MADELEINE [_stylishly dressed. With an air of bravura_]. So this is the
way you deceive me!

MARCEL [_gayly_]. My dear, if you think that during these three years--

MADELEINE. I beg your pardon for interrupting your little _tête-à-tête_,
Marcel, but your door was open, and there was no servant to announce me.

MARCEL. You know you are always welcome here.

MADELEINE. Your wife is very attractive.

MARCEL. Isn't she? Shall I introduce you?

MADELEINE. Later--I've come to see _you_.

MARCEL. I must confess your visit is a little surprising.

MADELEINE. Especially after my sending that note this morning. I thought
I should prefer not to trouble you.

MARCEL [_uncertain_]. Ah!

MADELEINE. Yes.

MARCEL. Well?

MADELEINE. Well, no!

MARCEL. I'm sorry. [_Kissing her hand._] Glad to see you, at any rate.

MADELEINE. Same studio as always, eh?

MARCEL. You are still as charming as ever.

MADELEINE. You are as handsome as ever.

MARCEL. I can say no less for you.

MADELEINE. I'm only twenty-eight.

MARCEL. But your husband is fifty: that keeps you young. How long have
you been back?

MADELEINE. A week.

MARCEL. And I haven't seen Guérin yet!

MADELEINE. There's no hurry.

MARCEL. What's the matter?

MADELEINE. He's a bit worried: you know how jealous he is! Well,
yesterday, when I was out, he went through all my private papers--

MARCEL. Naturally he came across some letters.

MADELEINE. _The_ letters, my dear!

MARCEL. Mine?

MADELEINE. Yes. [_Gesture from Marcel._] Old letters.

MARCEL. You kept them?

MADELEINE. From a celebrity? Of course!

MARCEL. The devil!

MADELEINE. Ungrateful!

MARCEL. I beg your pardon.

MADELEINE. You can imagine my explanation following the discovery. My
dear Marcel, there's going to be a divorce.

MARCEL. A--! A divorce?

MADELEINE. Don't feel too sorry for me. After all, I shall be free and
almost happy.

MARCEL. What resignation!

MADELEINE. Only--

MARCEL. Only what?

MADELEINE. He is going to send you his seconds.

MARCEL [_gayly_]. A duel? To-day? You're not serious?

MADELEINE. I think he wants to kill you.

MARCEL. But that affair was three years ago! Why, to begin with, he
hasn't the right!

MADELEINE. Because it was so long ago?

MARCEL. Three years is three years.

MADELEINE. You're right: _now_ you are not in love with his wife: you
love your own. Time has changed everything. Now your own happiness is
all-sufficient. I can easily understand your indignation against my
husband.

MARCEL. Oh, I--

MADELEINE. My husband is slow, but he's sure, isn't he?

MARCEL. You're cruel, Madeleine.

MADELEINE. If it's ancient history for you, it's only too recent for
him!

MARCEL. Let's not speak about him!

MADELEINE. But he ought to be a very interesting topic of conversation
just now!

MARCEL. I hadn't foreseen his feeling so keenly.

MADELEINE. You must tell him how sorry you are when you see him.

MARCEL. At the duel?

MADELEINE. Elsewhere!

MARCEL. Where? Here, in my house?

MADELEINE. My dear, he may want to tell you how he feels.

    [_A pause._]

MARCEL [_aside, troubled_]. The devil! And Françoise? [_Another pause._]
Oh, a duel! Well, I ought to risk my life for you; you have done the
same thing for me many times.

MADELEINE. Oh, I was not so careful as you were then.

MARCEL. You are not telling me everything, Madeleine. What put it into
your husband's head to look through your papers?

MADELEINE. Ah!

MARCEL. Well, evidently _I_ couldn't have excited his jealousy. For a
long time he has had no reason to suspect me! Were they my letters he
was looking for?

MADELEINE. That is my affair!

MARCEL. Then I am expiating for some one else?

MADELEINE. I'm afraid so.

MARCEL. Perfect!

MADELEINE. Forgive me!

MARCEL [_reproachfully_]. So you are deceiving him?

MADELEINE. You are a perfect friend to-day!

MARCEL. Then you really have a lover?

MADELEINE. A second lover! That would be disgraceful, wouldn't it?

MARCEL. The first step always brings the worst consequences.

MADELEINE. What are you smiling at?

MARCEL. Oh, the happiness of others! Well, let's have no bitterness.

MADELEINE. No, you might feel remorse!

MARCEL. Oh, Madeleine, why am I not the guilty one this time? You are
always so beautiful!

MADELEINE. Your fault! You should have kept what you had!

MARCEL. I thought you were tired of me.

MADELEINE. You will never know what I suffered; I cried like an
abandoned shopgirl!

MARCEL. Not for long, though?

MADELEINE. Three months. When I think I once loved you so much, and here
I am before you so calm and indifferent! You look like anybody else now.
How funny, how disgusting life is! You meet some one, do no end of
foolish and wicked and mean things in order to belong to him, and the
day comes when you don't know one another. Each takes his turn! I think
it would have been better--[_Gesture from Marcel._] Yes--I ought to try
to forget everything.

MARCEL. That's all buried in the past! Wasn't it worth the trouble, and
the suffering we have to undergo now?

MADELEINE. You, too! You have to recall--!

MARCEL. I'm sorry, but I didn't begin this conversation.

MADELEINE. Never mind! It's all over, let's say no more about it!

MARCEL. No, please! Let's--curse me, Madeleine say anything you like
about me: I deserve it all!

MADELEINE. Stop! Behave yourself, married man! What if your wife heard
you!

MARCEL. She? Dear child! She is much too afraid of what I might say to
listen.

MADELEINE. Dear child! You cynic! I'll wager you have not been a model
husband since your marriage!

MARCEL. You are mistaken this time, my dear.

MADELEINE. You are lying!

MARCEL. Seriously; and I'm more surprised than you at the fact--but it's
true.

MADELEINE. Poor Marcel!

MARCEL. I do suffer!

MADELEINE. Then you are a faithful husband?

MARCEL. I am frivolous and--compromising--that is all.

MADELEINE. It's rather funny: you seem somehow to be ready to belong to
some one!

MARCEL. Madeleine, you are the first who has come near tempting me.

MADELEINE. Is it possible?

MARCEL. I feel myself weakening.

MADELEINE. Thank you so much for thinking of me, dear; I appreciate it,
but for the time being, I'll--consider.

MARCEL. Have you made up your mind?

MADELEINE. We shall see later; I'll think it over--perhaps! Yet, I
rather doubt if--. You haven't been nice to me to-day, your open honest
face hasn't pleased me at all. You're so carelessly dressed! I don't
think you're interesting any more. No, I hardly think so!

MARCEL. But, Madeleine--

MADELEINE. Don't call me Madeleine.

MARCEL. Madame Guérin! Madame Guérin! if I told you how much your note
meant to me! How excited I was! I trembled when I read it!

MADELEINE. I'll warrant you read it before your wife?

MARCEL. It was so charming of you!

MADELEINE. How depraved you are!

MARCEL. How well you know me!

MADELEINE. Fool!

MARCEL. I adore you!

MADELEINE. That's merely a notion of yours! You imagine, since you
haven't seen me for so long--I've just come back from a long trip!

MARCEL. Don't shake my faith in you!

MADELEINE. Think of your duties, my dear; don't forget--

MARCEL. My children? I have none.

MADELEINE. Your wife.

MARCEL [_in desperation_]. You always speak of her!

MADELEINE. Love her, my friend, and if my husband doesn't kill you
to-morrow, continue to love her in peace and quiet. You are made for a
virtuous life now--any one can see that. I flatter you when I consider
you a libertine. You've been spoiled by too much happiness, that's the
trouble with you!

MARCEL [_trying to kiss her_]. Madeleine, if you only--!

MADELEINE [_evading him_]. Are you out of your wits?

MARCEL. Forgive me: I haven't quite forgotten! Well, if I am killed it
will be for a good reason.

MADELEINE. Poor dear!

MARCEL. It will! This duel is going to compromise you fearfully. Come
now, every one will accuse you to-morrow; what difference does it make
to you?

MADELEINE. I'm not in the mood!

MARCEL. Now _you_ are lying!

MADELEINE. I don't love you.

MARCEL. Nonsense! You're sulking!

MADELEINE. How childish! Don't touch me! You want me to be unfaithful to
everybody! Never! [_Changing._] Yet--! No; it would be too foolish!
Good-by.

MARCEL [_kissing her as she tries to pass him_]. Not before--

MADELEINE. Oh, you've mussed my hat; how awkward of you! [_Trying to
escape from Marcel's embrace._] Let me go!

MARCEL [_jokingly_]. Let you go? In a few days!

MADELEINE. Good-by. My husband may come any moment.

MARCEL. Are you afraid?

MADELEINE. Yes, I'm afraid he might forgive me!

MARCEL. One minute more!

MADELEINE. No! I have just time. I'm going away this evening--

MARCEL. Going away?

MADELEINE. To London.

MARCEL. With--_him_, the other?

MADELEINE. I hope so.

MARCEL. Who knows? He may be waiting for you this moment at Madame de
Montglat's, your aunt's--

MADELEINE. They are playing cards together.

MARCEL. The way we are! What a family!

MADELEINE. Impudent!

MARCEL. That's why you came.

MADELEINE [_about to leave_]. Shall I go out through the models' door,
as I used to?

MARCEL. If I were still a bachelor you wouldn't leave me this way! You
would miss your train this evening, I'll tell you that!

MADELEINE. You may very well look at that long sofa! No, no, my dear:
not to-day, thanks!

MARCEL. In an hour, then, at Madame de Montglat's!

MADELEINE. Take care, or I'll make you meet your successor!

MARCEL. Then I can see whether you are still a woman of taste.

MADELEINE. Ah, men are very--I'll say the word after I leave. [_She goes
out through the little door._]

MARCEL [_alone_]. "Men are very--!" If we were, the women would have a
very stupid time of it!

    [_He is about to follow Madeleine._]

    [_Enter Françoise._]

FRANÇOISE. Who was that stylish looking woman who just left, Marcel?

MARCEL [_embarrassed_]. Madame Jackson, my American friend.

FRANÇOISE. Well?

MARCEL. My picture? Sold!

FRANÇOISE. Ten thousand? Splendid! Don't you think so? You don't seem
very happy!

MARCEL. The idea!

    [_He picks up his hat._]

FRANÇOISE [_jealously_]. Are you going to leave me?

MARCEL. I am just going to Goupil's and tell him.

FRANÇOISE. Then I'll have to lunch all by myself! [_Marcel stops an
instant before the mirror._] You look lovely.

MARCEL [_turning round_]. I--

FRANÇOISE. Oh, you'll succeed!

    [_A pause._]

MARCEL [_enchanted, in spite of himself_]. What can you be thinking of!
[_Aside._] What if she were after all my happiness? [_Reproachfully._]
Now, Françoise--

FRANÇOISE. I was only joking.

MARCEL [_ready to leave_]. No moping, remember? I can't have that!

FRANÇOISE. I know!

MARCEL [_tenderly. He stands at the threshold. Aside_]. Poor child! Well
I may fail!

    [_He goes out, left._]

FRANÇOISE [_sadly_]. Where is he going? Probably to a rendezvous. Oh, if
he is! Will my luck fail me to-day? Soon he'll come back again, so well
satisfied with himself! I talk to him so much about my resignation, I
wonder whether he believes in it? Why must I be tormented this way
forever?

    [_Enter Jean, with a visiting-card._]

JEAN. Is Monsieur here?

FRANÇOISE. Let me see!

    [_She takes the card._]

JEAN. The gentleman is waiting, Madame.

FRANÇOISE. Ask him to come in. Quick, now!

    [_Jean goes out._]

    [_Enter Guérin, at the back. As he sees Françoise he hesitates
    before coming to her._]

FRANÇOISE [_cordially_]. Come in, Monsieur. I have never seen you, but I
already know you very well.

GUÉRIN [_a large, strong man, with grayish hair_]. Thank you, Madame. I
thought I should find Monsieur Desroches at home. If you will excuse
me--

FRANÇOISE. I beg you!

GUÉRIN. I fear I am intruding: it's so early.

FRANÇOISE. You intruding in Marcel's home?

GUÉRIN. Madame--

FRANÇOISE. My husband will return soon, Monsieur.

GUÉRIN [_brightening_]. Good!

FRANÇOISE. Will you wait for him here in the studio?

GUÉRIN [_advancing_]. Really, Madame, it would be most ungrateful of me
to refuse your kindness.

FRANÇOISE. Here are magazines and newspapers--I shall ask to be excused.
[_As she is about to leave._] It was rather difficult to make you stay!

GUÉRIN. Forgive me, Madame. [_Aside ironically._] Too bad! She's
decidedly charming!

    [_Having gone up-stage, Françoise suddenly returns._]

FRANÇOISE. It seems a little strange to you, Monsieur--doesn't it?--to
see a woman in this bachelor studio--quite at home?

GUÉRIN. Why, Madame--

FRANÇOISE. Before leaving you--which I shall do in a moment--you must
know that there is one woman who is very glad to know you have returned
to Paris!

GUÉRIN. We just arrived this week.

FRANÇOISE. Good!

GUÉRIN [_ironically_]. It's so long since I've seen Marcel.

FRANÇOISE. Three years.

GUÉRIN. So many things have happened since!

FRANÇOISE. You find him a married man, for one thing--

GUÉRIN. Happily married!

FRANÇOISE. Yes, happily!

GUÉRIN. Dear old Marcel! I'll be so glad to see him!

FRANÇOISE. I see you haven't forgotten my husband, Monsieur. Thank you!

GUÉRIN. How can I help admiring so stout and loyal a heart as his!

FRANÇOISE. You'll have to like me, too!

GUÉRIN. I already do.

FRANÇOISE. Really? Then you believe everything you write?

GUÉRIN. Yes, Madame.

FRANÇOISE. Take care! This morning I was re-reading one of your letters,
in which you promised me your heartiest support. [_Offering him her
hand._] Then we're friends, are we not?

GUÉRIN [_after hesitating, takes her hand_]. Good friends, Madame!

FRANÇOISE. Word of honor?

GUÉRIN. Word of honor!

FRANÇOISE [_sitting_]. Then I'll stay. Sit down, and let's talk.
[_Guérin is uncertain._] We have so much to say to each other! Let's
talk about you first.

GUÉRIN [_forced to sit down_]. About me? But I--

FRANÇOISE. Yes, about you.

GUÉRIN [_quickly_]. No, about _your_ happiness, your welfare.

FRANÇOISE. About my great happiness!

GUÉRIN [_ironically_]. Let us speak about your--existence--with which
you are so content. I must know all the happiness of this house!

FRANÇOISE. Happy people never have anything to say.

GUÉRIN. You never have troubles, I presume?

FRANÇOISE. None, so far.

GUÉRIN. But what might happen? To-day you are living peacefully with
Marcel, a man whose marriage was, it seems, strongly opposed. Life owes
you no more than it has already given you.

FRANÇOISE. My happiness is complete. I had never imagined that a man's
goodness could make a woman so happy!

GUÉRIN. Goodness?

FRANÇOISE. Of course!

GUÉRIN. Love, you mean Madame!

FRANÇOISE. Oh, Marcel's love for me--!

GUÉRIN. Something lacking?

FRANÇOISE. No!

GUÉRIN [_interested_]. Tell me. Am I not your friend?

FRANÇOISE. Seriously, Monsieur, you know him very well: how could he be
in love with me? Is it even possible? He allows one to love him, and I
ask nothing more.

GUÉRIN. Nothing?

FRANÇOISE. Only to be allowed to continue. [_Gesture from Guérin._] I am
not like other women. I don't ask for rights; but I do demand
tenderness, and consideration. He is free, I am not--I'll admit that.
But I don't mind, I only hope that we may continue as we are!

GUÉRIN. Have you some presentiment, Madame?

FRANÇOISE. I am afraid, Monsieur. My happiness is not of the proud,
demonstrative variety, it is a kind of happiness that is continually
trembling for its safety. If I told you--

GUÉRIN. Do tell me!

FRANÇOISE. Later! How I pity any one who loves and has to suffer for it!

GUÉRIN [_surprised_]. You--!

FRANÇOISE. I am not on the side of the jealous, of the betrayed--

GUÉRIN [_aside, sympathetically_]. Poor little woman! [_With great
sincerity._] Then you are not sure of him?

FRANÇOISE [_more and more excited_]. He is Marcel! Admit for a moment
that he loves me to-day--I want so to believe it! To-morrow will he love
me? Does he himself know whether he will love me then? Isn't he at the
mercy of a whim, a passing fancy--of the weather, or the appearance of
the first woman he happens to meet? I am only twenty, and I am not
always as careful as I might be. Happiness is so difficult!

GUÉRIN. Yes, it is. [_To himself._] It is! [_To Françoise._] Perhaps you
are conscientious, too sincere?

FRANÇOISE. I feel that; yes, I think I am, but every time I try to hide
my affection from him, he becomes indifferent, almost mean--as if he
were glad to be relieved of a duty--of being good!

GUÉRIN. So it's come to that!

FRANÇOISE. You see, Marcel can't get used to the idea that his other
life is over, dead and buried, that he's married for good--that he must
do as others do. I do my best and tell him, but my very presence only
reminds him of his duties as a husband. For instance [_interrupting
herself_]. Here I am telling you all this--

GUÉRIN. Oh!--Please.

FRANÇOISE [_bitterly_]. He likes to go out alone at night, without me.
He knows me well enough to understand that his being away makes me very
unhappy, and as a matter of form, of common courtesy, he asks me to go
with him. I try to reason and convince myself that he doesn't mean what
he says, but I can't help feeling sincerely happy when once in a while I
do accept his invitation. But the moment we leave the house I realize my
mistake. Then he pretends to be in high spirits, but I know all the time
he is acting a part; and when we come home again he lets drop without
fail some hint about having lost his liberty; he says he took me out in
a moment of weakness, that he really wanted to be alone.

GUÉRIN [_interrupting_]. And when he does go out alone?

FRANÇOISE. Then I am most unhappy; I'm in torment for hours and hours. I
wonder where he can be, and then I'm afraid he won't come back at all.
When the door opens, when I hear him come in, I'm so happy I pay no
attention to what he tells me. But I made a solemn vow never to show the
least sign of jealousy. My face is always tranquil, and what I say to
him never betrays what I feel. I never knowingly betray myself, but his
taking way, his tenderness, soon make me confess every fear; then he
turns round and, using my own confession as a weapon, shows me how wrong
I am to be afraid and suspicious. And when sometimes I say nothing to
him, even when he tries to make me confess, he punishes me most severely
by telling me stories of his affairs, narrow escapes, and all his
temptations. He once told me about an old mistress of his, whom he had
just seen, a very clever woman, who was never jealous! Or else he comes
in so late that I must be glad, for if he came in later, it would have
been all night! He tells me he had some splendid opportunity, and had to
give it up! A thousand things like that! He seems to delight in making
me suspect and doubt him!

GUÉRIN. Poor little woman!

FRANÇOISE. That's my life; as for my happiness, it exists from day to
day. [_With determination._] If I only had the right to be unhappy! But
I must always smile, I must be happy, not only in his presence, but to
the very depths of my soul! So that he may deceive me without the least
remorse! It is his pleasure!

    [_She bursts into tears._]

GUÉRIN [_rising_]. The selfish brute!

FRANÇOISE. Isn't my suffering a reproach to him?

GUÉRIN. I pity you, Madame, and I think I understand you better than any
one else. I have trouble not unlike your own; perhaps greater, troubles
for which there is no consolation.

FRANÇOISE. If you understand me, Monsieur, advise me! I need you!

GUÉRIN [_startled back into reality_]. Me, help you? I? [_Aside._] No!

FRANÇOISE. You spoke of your friendship. The time has come, prove that
it is genuine!

GUÉRIN. Madame, why did I ever see you? Why did I listen to you?

FRANÇOISE. What have you to regret?

GUÉRIN. Nothing, Madame, nothing.

FRANÇOISE. Explain yourself, Monsieur. You--you make me afraid!

GUÉRIN [_trying to calm her suspicions_]. Don't cry like that! There is
no reason why you should behave that way! Your husband doesn't love you
as he ought, but he does love you. You are jealous, that's what's
troubling you. But for that matter, why should he deceive you? That
would be too unjust.

FRANÇOISE [_excited_]. Too unjust! You are right, Monsieur! No matter
how cynical, how blasé a man may be, isn't it his duty, his sacred duty,
to say to himself, "I have found a good and true woman in this world of
deceptions; she is a woman who adores me, who is only too ready to
invent any excuse for me! She bears my name and honors it; no matter
what I do, she is always true, of that I am positive. I am always
foremost in her thoughts, and I shall be her only love." When a man can
say all that, Monsieur, isn't that real, true happiness?

GUÉRIN [_sobbing_]. Yes--that is happiness!

FRANÇOISE. You are crying! [_A pause._]

GUÉRIN. My wife--deceived me!

FRANÇOISE. Oh! [_A pause._] Marcel--

GUÉRIN. Your happiness is in no danger! Yesterday I found some old
letters, in a desk--old letters--that was all! You weren't his wife at
the time. It's ancient history.

FRANÇOISE [_aside_]. Who knows?

GUÉRIN. Forgive me, Madame; your troubles remind me of my own. When you
told of the happiness you still have to give, I couldn't help thinking
of what I had lost!

FRANÇOISE. So you have come to fight a duel with my husband?

GUÉRIN. Madame--

FRANÇOISE. You are going to fight him? Answer me.

GUÉRIN. My life is a wreck now--I must--

FRANÇOISE. I don't ask you to forget; Monsieur--

GUÉRIN. Don't you think I have a right?

FRANÇOISE. Stop!

GUÉRIN. I shall not try to kill him. You love him too much! I couldn't
do it now. In striking him I should be injuring you, and you don't
deserve to suffer; you have betrayed no one. The happiness you have just
taught me to know is as sacred and inviolable as my honor, my
unhappiness. I shall not seek revenge.

FRANÇOISE [_gratefully_]. Oh, Monsieur.

GUÉRIN. I am willing he should live, because he is so dear, so necessary
to you. Keep him. If he wants to spoil your happiness, his be the blame!
I shall not do it. It would be sacrilege. Good-by, Madame, good-by.

    [_Guérin goes out, back, Françoise falls into a chair, sobbing._]

    [_Enter Marcel by the little door._]

MARCEL [_aside, with a melancholy air_]. Refused to see me!

FRANÇOISE [_distinctly_]. Oh, it's you!

MARCEL [_good-humoredly_]. Yes, it's I. [_A pause. He goes toward her._]
You have been crying! Have you seen Guérin? He's been here!

FRANÇOISE. Marcel!

MARCEL. Did he dare tell you!

FRANÇOISE. You won't see any more of him.

MARCEL [_astounded_]. He's not going to fight?

FRANÇOISE. He refuses.

MARCEL. Thank you!

FRANÇOISE. I took good care of your dignity, you may be sure of that.
Here we were together; I told him the story of my life during the last
year--how I loved you--and then he broke down. When I learned the truth,
he said he would go away for my happiness' sake.

MARCEL. I was a coward to deceive that man! Is this a final sentence
that you pass on me?

FRANÇOISE. Marcel!

MARCEL. Both of you are big! You have big hearts. I admire you both more
than I can say.

FRANÇOISE [_incredulously_]. Where are you going? To get him to fight
with you?

MARCEL [_returning to her; angrily_]. How can I, now? After what you
have done, it would be absurd. Why the devil did you have to mix
yourself up in something that doesn't concern you? I was only looking
for a chance to fight that duel!

FRANÇOISE. Looking for a chance?

MARCEL. Oh, I--

FRANÇOISE. Why?

MARCEL [_between his teeth_]. That's my affair! Everybody has his
enemies--his insults to avenge. It was a very good thing that gentleman
didn't happen across my path!

FRANÇOISE. How dare you recall what he has been generous enough to
forget?

MARCEL. How do you know that I haven't a special reason for fighting
this duel? A legitimate reason, that must be concealed from you?

FRANÇOISE. You are mistaken, dear: I guess that reason perfectly.

MARCEL. Really?

FRANÇOISE. I know it.

MARCEL [_bursting forth_]. Oh! Good! You haven't always been so
frightfully profound.

FRANÇOISE. Yes, I have, and your irony only proves that I have not been
so much mistaken in what I felt by intuition.

MARCEL. Ah, marriage.

FRANÇOISE. Ah, duty!

MARCEL. I love Madame Guérin, don't I?

FRANÇOISE. I don't say that.

MARCEL. You think it.

FRANÇOISE. And if I do? Would it be a crime to think it? You once loved
her--perhaps you have seen her again, recently? Do I know where you go?
You never tell me.

MARCEL. I tell you too much!

FRANÇOISE. I think you do.

MARCEL. You're jealous!

FRANÇOISE. Common, if you like. Come, you must admit, Marcel, Madame
Guérin is in some way responsible for your excitement now?

MARCEL. Very well then, I love her, I adore her! Are you satisfied?

FRANÇOISE. You should have told me that first, my dear; I should never
have tried to keep you away from her.

    [_She breaks into tears._]

MARCEL. She's crying! Good, there's liberty for you!

FRANÇOISE [_bitterly_]. Liberty? I did not suffer when I promised you
your liberty.

MARCEL. That was your "resignation."

FRANÇOISE. You knew life, I did not. You ought never to have accepted
it!

MARCEL. You're like all the rest!

FRANÇOISE [_more excited_]. Doesn't unhappiness level us all?

MARCEL. I see it does!

FRANÇOISE. What can you ask for, then? So long as you have no great
happiness like mine you are ready enough to make any sacrifice, but when
once you have it, you never resign yourself to losing it.

MARCEL. That's just the difficulty.

FRANÇOISE. Be a little patient, dear: I have not yet reached that state
of cynicism and subtlety which you seem to want in your wife--I thought
I came near to your ideal once! Perhaps there's some hope for me yet: I
have promised myself to do my best to satisfy your ideal.

MARCEL [_moved_]. I don't ask that.

FRANÇOISE. You are right, I am very foolish to try to struggle. What is
the good? It will suffice when I have lost the dearest creature on
earth--through my foolishness, my blunders!

MARCEL. The dearest creature?

FRANÇOISE. I can't help it if he seems so to me!

MARCEL [_disarmed_]. You--you're trying to appeal to my vanity!

FRANÇOISE. I am hardly in the mood for joking.

MARCEL [_tenderly, as he kneels at her feet_]. But you make me say
things like that--I don't know what! I am not bad--really bad! No, I
have not deceived you! I love you, and only you! You! You know that,
Françoise! Ask--ask any woman! All women!

    [_A pause._]

FRANÇOISE [_smiling through her tears_]. Best of husbands! You're not
going out then? You'll stay?

MARCEL [_in Françoise's arms_]. Can I go now, now that I'm here? You are
so pretty that I--

FRANÇOISE. Not when I'm in trouble.

MARCEL. Don't cry!

FRANÇOISE. I forgive you!

MARCEL. Wait, I haven't confessed everything.

FRANÇOISE. Not another word!

MARCEL. I want to be sincere.

FRANÇOISE. I prefer you to lie to me!

MARCEL. First, read this note--the one I received this morning.

FRANÇOISE [_surprised_]. From Madame Guérin?

MARCEL. You saw her not long ago. Yes, she calmly told me--

FRANÇOISE. That her husband had found some letters!

MARCEL. And that she was about to leave for England with her lover.

FRANÇOISE. Then she is quite consoled?

MARCEL. Perfectly.

FRANÇOISE. Poor Marcel! And you went to see her and try to prevent her
going away with him?

MARCEL. My foolishness was well punished. She wouldn't receive me.

FRANÇOISE. Then I am the only one left who loves you? How happy I am!

MARCEL. I'll kill that love some day with my ridiculous philandering!

FRANÇOISE [_gravely_]. I defy you!

MARCEL [_playfully_]. Then I no longer have the right to provoke
Monsieur Guérin? Now?

FRANÇOISE [_gayly_]. You are growing old, Lovelace, his wife has
deceived you!

MARCEL [_lovingly_]. Françoise' luck! [_Sadly._] Married!


  [_Curtain._]




ALTRUISM

  A SATIRE

  BY KARL ETTLINGER
  TRANSLATED BY BENJAMIN F. GLAZER.


  Copyright, 1920, by Benjamin F. Glazer.
  All rights reserved.


  The first performance of ALTRUISM was given by The Stage Society of
  Philadelphia at the Little Theatre, Philadelphia, on January 28, 1916,
  with the following cast:

    A BEGGAR              _Henry C. Sheppard_
    A WAITER              _E. Ryland Carter_
    A YOUNG MAN           _William H. McClure_
    A COCOTTE             _Sylvia Loeb._
    A PARISIAN            _Edward B. Latimer_
    HIS WIFE              _Florence Bernstein_
    THEIR CHILD           _Jean Massey_
    AN ARTIST             _Theron J. Bamberger_
    AN AMERICAN           _William J. Holt_
    A GENTLEMAN           _Caspar W. Briggs_
    ANOTHER GENTLEMAN     _Norris W. Corey_
    A PICKPOCKET          _Walter E. Endy_
    A GENDARME            _William H. Russell_
    ANOTHER GENDARME      _Frederick Cowperthwaite_
    A WORKINGMAN          _Walter D. Dalsimer_
    A FLOWER GIRL         _Katherine Kennedy_
    A PASSING LADY        _C. Warren Briggs_
    A BYSTANDER           _Charles E. Sommer_
    AN OLD LADY           _Paulyne Brinkman_
    A GRISETTE            _Florence M. Lyman_

  [TIME: _The present_. PLACE: A Parisian Café by the Seine.]

  Produced under the direction of Benjamin F. Glazer. Scene designed by
  H. Devitt Welsh. Costumes designed by Martha G. Speiser.


  CHARACTERS

    A BEGGAR
    A TOWNSMAN
    A TOWNSWOMAN
    THEIR SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON
    AN ARTIST
    AN AMERICAN
    A COCOTTE
    A WAITER
    A WORKINGMAN
    A YOUNG MAN
    TWO OFFICERS
    THE CROWD

  PLACE: _Paris_.
  TIME: _Present_.
  _On the banks of the Seine._


  The play was later produced by the Washington Square Players, at the
  Comedy Theatre, New York City. The professional and amateur stage
  rights are reserved by the translator, Mr. Benjamin F. Glazer,
  Editorial Department, _The Press_, Philadelphia, Pa., to whom all
  requests for permission to produce the play should be made.



ALTRUISM

A SATIRE BY KARL ETTLINGER


    [_In the background the end of a pier. On a post hangs a rope and
    a life buoy. Close by the Beggar is sitting on the floor. At right
    a street café; two tables stand under the open sky on the street.
    At one of the tables sits the Waiter, reading a newspaper. At the
    other sits the Cocotte and the blond Young Man. At left on a
    public bench sits the Artist. He has a sketch book and pencil with
    which he is drawing the Cocotte, who has noticed it and is
    flirting with him._]


    [_Lady xes from Left to Right._]

    [_Man xes from Right to Left._]

BEGGAR [_sings_]:

  Kind sir, have pity while you can,
    Remember the old beggar man
      The poor beggar man.

WAITER [_sitting at table, R. C., looks up from his newspaper_]. Shut
up!

BEGGAR. Don't get fresh! I was once a _head_ waiter!

WAITER. That must have been a fine place.

BEGGAR. It was too. I traveled all around the world as a waiter. I saw
better days before I became a beggar.

YOUNG MAN [_at table Left, fondly to the Cocotte_]. Indeed if I were a
millionaire--my word of honor I would buy you an automobile. Nothing
would be too dear for you.

COCOTTE [_at table Left_]. My darling Kangaroo. How liberal you are. I
am sure I am your first love.

YOUNG MAN. Yes--you are--that is if I don't count the cook who has been
at our house for five years--yes, on my word of honor.

    [_He finishes in pantomime._]

BEGGAR [_to Waiter_]: Yes, yes, one goes down. Life is a tight rope
dance--before you look around you've lost your balance, and are lying in
the dirt.

WAITER [_laying aside the paper_]. You ought to go to work. That would
do you more good than talking.

BEGGAR. I've tried working too. But work for our kind is the surest way
to remain poor. And, do you know, begging is no pleasure either. To get
the money centime by centime and no rest from the police--well, well, if
I'm born into this world again I will become a government official.

    [_A man passes. Enter lady from Left. Stops lady Center. Sings and
    holds out his hat._]

  The rich man in his banquet hall,
    Has everything I long for!
  The poor man gets the scraps that fall;
    That's what I sing this song for.
  Kind sir, have pity while you can--

    [_Man exit Left._]

Do you see? he doesn't give me anything! (Social enlightenment ends with
the lower classes. That is where need is greatest and the police are
thickest.)

YOUNG MAN [_to the_ COCOTTE]. I would buy you a flying machine too, but
you shouldn't fly alone in it--Ah, to soar with you a thousand meters
above the earth--and far and wide nothing--only you and our love--

COCOTTE. What a wonderful boy you are.

    [_She flirts with the Artist._]

BEGGAR. How often have I wanted to commit suicide. But why should I
gratify my fellow man by doing that?--suicide is the one sin I can see
nothing funny in. I always say to myself, so long as there's a jail one
can never starve.

WAITER. You have no dignity.

BEGGAR. No. My dignity was taken away from me ten years ago by the law.
But I'm not so sure I want it back.

WAITER [_in disgust_]. I ought to call the cops and have them drive you
away from here.

BEGGAR [_confidentially_]. You wouldn't do that. Only yesterday I paid
my colleagues 20 francs for this place. [_Searches in his pockets._]
Here is a receipt. I won't go away from here unless the police carry me
away in their arms. The police seem to be the only people who make a
fuss over me these days. [_Laughs._]

WAITER. Disgusting old beggar. Why on earth such people--[_The rest is
lost in his teeth._]

    [_The Townsman, the Townswoman, and their child enter. The
    Townsman carries the child on his shoulder and is perspiring from
    the exertion._]

    [_Waiter X to Right of Table. Beggar goes up stage Center._]

TOWNSWOMAN [_center Left with boy; sighs_]. That is all I have to say,
just let me come to that. Just let me come to it. On the spot I'll get a
divorce.

TOWNSMAN [_following her_]. Give me your word of honor on it.

TOWNSMAN. Now I know what they mean when they say that all men were
polygamists.

TOWNSMAN. Calm yourself, old woman. It's all theoretical that married
women are good cooks and married men are polygamists.

BEGGAR.

  The rich man in his banquet hall
    Has everything I long for!
  The poor....

TOWNSMAN. Let him banquet in peace.

    [_They sit at the table from which the Waiter has just risen._]

CHILD. I want to give the poor man something. Papa! Money! Papa! Money!

TOWNSMAN [_kisses child_]. A heart of gold has my little Phillip. A
disposition like butter. He gets that from me.

TOWNSMAN. What? Asking for money or the oleo margerine disposition?

CHILD. When I give the poor man something he makes a funny face and I
have to laugh. Papa, money!

TOWNSMAN. Since I've been married I make all kinds of faces, but no one
gives me anything. [_Searches in his pocket book._] Too bad, I've
nothing smaller than a centime piece.

TOWNSMAN. Of course, you'd rather bring up our Phillip to have a heart
of stone. Children should be taught to love people. They must be brought
up in that way--to have regard and respect for the most unfortunate
fellow beings--How that woman is perfumed. Women like that shouldn't be
permitted in the city.

YOUNG MAN [_to the Cocotte_]. I would buy you two beautiful air ships, a
half moon for week days and a star for Sundays. All my millions I would
lay at your feet. [_Raising his hand._] Waiter--another glass of water,
please.

COCOTTE. I'd like to kiss you, my little wild horse.

    [_Waiter dusts table, Right Center. Flirts with the Artist._]

    [_Child, Man and Wife sit at table Right Center._]

WAITER [_to the Townsman_]. What can I bring you?

TOWNSMAN. For the child, a glass of milk, but be sure it's well cooked.
[_To the Child._] A little glass of good ninni for my darling, a glass
of ninni from the big moo cow.

TOWNSMAN [_mocking her_]. And for me a glass of red wine--a little glass
of good red wine for the big moo-ox.

TOWNSWOMAN [_angry_]. That's just like you. Begrudge a glass of milk to
your own child--naturally--so long as you have your cigar and your
wine--

TOWNSMAN. My dear, I hereby give little Phillip permission to drink
three cows dry. And of my next week's wages, you may buy him a whole
herd of cows.

CHILD. I want chocolate! Chocolate, mama!

TOWNSMAN. You shall have it. As much as you want. Wouldn't you perhaps
like to have a glass of champagne, little Phillip, and a Henry Clay
cigar and a salad made of a big moo-chicken?

YOUNG MAN [_getting up, x to Center. Jumps up and runs to the Artist_].
Sir! Sir! This is unheard of. You've been drawing this lady all the
time. She is a respectable lady, do you understand? For all you know she
may be my wife.

ARTIST [_phlegmatically_]. More than that--for all I know she may be
your mother.

YOUNG MAN [_stammering_]. My dear sir--I must call you to account--what
do you mean by--

ARTIST. Why are you so excited? Isn't it a good likeness?

YOUNG MAN [_confused_]. Of course, it's a good likeness, that is--I ask
you, sir, how dare you to draw a picture of my bride?

TOWNSMAN. These young people are quarreling. You always bring me to
places like this. We can never go out together but there's a scandal.

COCOTTE [_who has drawn near and is examining the drawing_]. I like
that. I'd like to own the drawing.

ARTIST. My dear lady, if it would give you any pleasure....

COCOTTE. I couldn't think of taking it. [_To the boy._] Buy me the
picture. Sweetheart, will you buy it for me?

YOUNG MAN. I don't think much of it. You are far, far prettier.

COCOTTE. You won't refuse me this one little request. How much do you
ask for the picture?

ARTIST. I hadn't thought of selling it--but because it is such a good
likeness of you, ten francs. But you must promise that in return you
will sit for me again--[_With emphasis._] perhaps at my studio.
To-morrow at noon?

COCOTTE. Gladly! Very gladly! [_The young man pays for the sketch._]
Would you care to sit down and have something with us?

ARTIST. If your fiancé doesn't object?

YOUNG MAN [_coldly_]. Charmed! [_The three sit._]

THE CHILD. The chocolate is no good. I want some moo milk.

TOWNSMAN. In a minute, I'll take my moo stick and tan your moo hide.

AMERICAN. [_Enters leading a dog on a leash._] [_From Left x Center._]

BEGGAR [_sings_].

  The rich man his banquet hall
    Has everything I long for,
  The poor man gets the crumbs that fall,
    That's what I sing this song for.
  Kind sir, have pity while you can,
  Remember the old beggar man,
  The poor beggar man.

AMERICAN. [_Has listened to the entire song impassively._] Are you
through? Waiter, put a muzzle on this man. [_x to Table Right._]

TOWNSWOMAN. That is what I call an elegant man. I have always wanted you
to have a suit made like that. Ask him where he got it and what it cost.

TOWNSMAN. I couldn't ask an utter stranger what his clothes cost.

TOWNSWOMAN. Of course not, but if it was a woman you would have been
over there long ago.

CHILD. Mama, the bow-wow dog is biting me.

TOWNSMAN. My dear sir, your dog is biting my son.

AMERICAN. You're mistaken, madame. My dog has been carefully trained to
eat none other than boiled meat.

ARTIST [_to the Young Man_]. Pardon me for asking--but is the lady your
wife or your fiancé?

AMERICAN [_sits, puts his legs on the two extra chairs_]. Waiter!
Garçon! Bring me a quart of Cliquot, and bring my dog a menu card.

    [_At the word "Cliquot" the Cocotte looks up and begins to flirt
    with the American._]

CHILD. The bow-wow dog is making faces at me.

TOWNSMAN. Look here, sir, your dog is certainly about to bite my child.

AMERICAN [_lights his pipe_]. How much does your child cost?

TOWNSMAN. Cost! My child! Did you ever hear of such a thing? I want you
to understand that my child p--

AMERICAN. Waiter! Tell this woman not to shout so!--How much does your
child cost?

TOWNSMAN. My child costs--nothing! Do you understand?

AMERICAN. Well, your child costs nothing--my dog costs eight dollars.
Think that over--is your son a thoroughbred? My dog is of the purest
breed--think that over--if your son hurts my dog I'll hold you
responsible. Think that over. [_Fills his glass._]

COCOTTE. What do you think that man to be, little mouse?

YOUNG MAN. A full blooded American.

ARTIST. I should say he's a German who has spent two weeks in New York.

TOWNSMAN. Aristide, are you going to sit there and permit your
defenseless wife to be insulted like that?

TOWNSMAN. As long as you have your tongue, my dear, you are not
defenseless.

TOWNSWOMAN. It is your business to talk to him. [_Kisses the Child._]
My poor little Phillip! Your father is no man.

TOWNSMAN. I was before I got married. [_Crosses to the American._] Sir,
my name is Aristide Beaurepard.

AMERICAN. Is that my fault?

TOWNSMAN. I am the father of a family.

AMERICAN. I am very sorry for you, indeed.

TOWNSMAN. I have a wife and children--

AMERICAN. You have only yourself to blame.

TOWNSMAN. Your dog--

AMERICAN. I have no desire to discuss dogs with you. I don't believe you
know anything about thoroughbred dogs. Waiter, sit this man down in his
place.

TOWNSMAN. This is I must say, this is--

WAITER. Monsieur, you must not make a racket around you. This is a first
class establishment. A real prince once dined here, I would have you
understand. Come on now, if you please. [_Leads Townsman back to his
seat._]

TOWNSMAN [_sits unwillingly_]. Not a centime tip will that fellow get
from me. Not a centime.

AMERICAN. Waiter, Waiter, bring my dog a portion of liver, and not too
fat. And a roast potato.

BEGGAR. [_Coming down C._] [_Jumps up, cries out wildly._] I can't stand
any more. For eight days I have not had a warm morsel of food in my
stomach. I am not a human being any more. I'll kill myself. [_Runs to
the edge of the dock and jumps overboard._] [_The splash of the water is
heard. The Townswoman and the Waiter call "help, help!" Whereupon, from
every side a crowd collects so that the entire background is filled with
people staring into the water._]

TOWNSWOMAN. For God's sake he has thrown himself into the Seine. Oh,
God! Oh, God!

OMNES. He's in the river!

AMERICAN. [_At table Right._] What a noisy place this is.

    [_Townsman at center throws off his coat and is unbuttoning his
    vest when his wife seizes him._]

TOWNSWOMAN. [_Center._] [_Whimpering._] Aristide, remember you have a
wife and children.

TOWNSMAN. That is why I want to do it.

TOWNSWOMAN. Aristide, I'll jump in after you--as true as I live I'll
jump in after you.

TOWNSMAN. [_Slowly puts his coat on again._] Then I won't do it. [_Goes
with her into the crowd._]

A VOICE. Get the life buoy. [_Willing hands try to unloosen the life
buoy, but it sticks._]

ANOTHER VOICE. Let that life buoy alone. Don't you see the sign "Do not
touch"?

A MAN. The buoy is no good. It will not work.

ANOTHER MAN. Of course not. It's city property.

COCOTTE [_shuddering_]. I can't look at it. [_Comes back to her table._]

A WOMAN. Look! He's come up! Over there!

CHILD. I can't see.

TOWNSWOMAN. My little heart of gold [_to her husband_]. Why don't you
lift him up? Don't you hear that the child can't see? [_Townsman takes
the child on his shoulder._]

YOUNG MAN [_coming back to table_]. These people are utterly heartless.
It is revolting.

AMERICAN [_loudly_]. I'll bet twenty dollars he drowns. Who'll take the
bet? Twenty dollars.

YOUNG MAN. Are you a man or a beast?

AMERICAN. Young man, better shut your mouth. [_Fills his glass._]

YOUNG MAN. Does no one hear know the meaning of Altruism?

ARTIST. Altruism! Ha, ha! [_Laughs scornfully._] Love of one's neighbor.
God preserve mankind from Altruism!

COCOTTE. What do you mean? You are not in earnest?

ARTIST. In dead earnest. [_Some one in the crowd brings a boat hook and
reaches down into the river._]

AMERICAN. I'll bet twenty-five dollars that he doesn't drown--thirty
dollars! [_Disgustedly, seeing that no one takes him up._] Tightwads!

ARTIST. Life is like that. One man's success is another man's failure.
He who sacrifices himself for an idea is a hero. He who sacrifices
himself for a fellow man is a fool.

YOUNG MAN [_theatrically_]. No, it is the highest, the noblest of
instincts. That is why my heart bleeds when I see all these people stand
indifferently by while a fellow man is drowning. No one jumps in after
him--

AMERICAN. Jump in yourself, young man, jump in yourself.

YOUNG MAN [_center_]. It is different with me, I am with a lady--it
wouldn't be right.

AMERICAN. Nobody will bet. This is a hell of a bunch. They ought to see
one of our nigger lynchings. [_Strokes the dog._] Poor Molly! She is so
nervous. Things like this get her all excited.

    [_Two Policemen enter._]

FIRST POLICEMAN. Look at the mob. Something is liable to happen there.

SECOND POLICEMAN. Isn't it forbidden for such a mob to gather on the
dock?

FIRST POLICEMAN. Sure, it's against the law. Why shouldn't it be?

SECOND POLICEMAN [_shaking their heads_]. This is no place for us.
[_Exit Left._]

ARTIST [_to the Young Man_]. Does it begin to dawn on you that true love
of one's neighbor would not only be monotonous but unbearable as well.

YOUNG MAN. Out there a man is drowning--and you stand there moralizing.

ARTIST. Why not? We read a dozen suicides every day. [_x to Chair
Left._] Yet we go home and eat our dinner with undiminished relish. Why
then sentimentalize over a drowning beggar? I wouldn't rescue a man who
had fallen into the water much less one who had jumped in.

YOUNG MAN [_passionately_]. Sir--I despise you! [_Goes into the crowd._]

    [_A man has succeeded in prying up the life buoy, now he throws it
    into the water with the warning cry "Look out."_]

ARTIST. Love of one's neighbor is a mask. A mask that people wear to
hide from themselves their real faces.

AMERICAN [_x to Artist Left_]. No, I don't agree with you. I am strong
for love of one's neighbor. Indeed, the Bible tells us to love our
neighbor as ourselves. Oh, I am very strong for it. I go to Church on
Sundays in the U. S. A. I never touch a drop--in the U. S. A.

VOICE. The life buoy is sinking.

ANOTHER VOICE. That's why they call it a _life buoy_. [_Laughter._]

COCOTTE [_sympathetically_]. How interestingly you talk. I love
Americans.

AMERICAN. We have two kinds of neighborly love back home. Neighborly
love that makes for entertaining and dancing, and neighborly love that
you read about next day in the newspapers.

OMNES [_Workingman who has just entered._] [_Right._] What's the matter
here? [_Elbows his way through the crowd._] Make way there! Let me
through! [_Throws off coat, tightens his belt, spits in his hand and
jumps into the water._] [_Great excitement._]

YOUNG MAN [_center_]. [_Ecstatically._] A hero! A hero!

AMERICAN [_loudly but indifferently_]. I'll bet sixty dollars that both
of them drown!--Seventy! Seventy-five! [_Contemptuously._] I can't get a
bet around here. I'm going back to America.

    [_The Artist goes into the crowd._]

COCOTTE [_at table Left, alone with American_]. Going back so soon?

AMERICAN. As soon as I have seen Paris. Wouldn't you like to show me the
town? I'll meet you to-morrow at four in front of the Opera House.

COCOTTE. I'll be there. I like Americans.

THE MOB [_cheering_]. He's got him! Hurrah! [_The pole is
outstretched._]

AMERICAN. I'd like to know how much longer that waiter means to keep my
dog waiting for her order of liver. [_x to table Right._]

YOUNG MAN [_comes down to table, joyfully_]. He is saved; thank God he
is saved. Weren't you sorry at all when that poor wretch jumped into the
river?

AMERICAN. Young man, is it my river?

THE MOB [_cheering again_]. Hurrah! [_Great excitement._]

    [_The Workingman and the Beggar are dragged dripping out of the
    water. They help the Beggar to a chair._]

WORKINGMAN [_center_]. [_Shaking himself._] That was no easy job.

A WOMAN [_left, center_]. Take care what you are doing. You are wetting
my whole dress.

BEGGAR. [_Left._] [_Whimpering._] Oh!--Oh!--Oh!--

YOUNG MAN [_left_]. [_Shaking the Workingman's hand._] You are a noble
fellow. I saw how brave you were.

WORKINGMAN [_business like_]. Did you? Then give me your name and
address.

YOUNG MAN [_gives him a card_]. Jules Leboeof, Rue d'Hauteville.

WORKINGMAN. Who else saw it?

BEGGAR. Oh! Oh! Oh!

WORKINGMAN. Shut your mouth. Your turn comes next. Who else saw me save
him?

TOWNSMAN. [_R. C._] Aristide Beaurepard, Rue de Lagny, a14.

TOWNSMAN. Must you mix in everything? This is nothing to you. Do you
want to get in trouble? You didn't see a thing. Why you just want to get
in trouble? You didn't see a thing. Why you just this moment came. What
do you want the address for, eh?

WORKINGMAN. Do you think I am taking cold baths for my health? I want to
get a medal for life saving.

A MAN. You have a chance to get an award from the Carnegie fund for life
saving.

WORKINGMAN. Don't I know it. I read all about it in "Humanitie"
yesterday. Do you think I'd have jumped in the water otherwise?

    [_A crowd has collected around the Beggar._]

BEGGAR. O God! O God! I'm soaking wet.

AMERICAN [_cold bloodedly._] Isn't that surprising?

BEGGAR. I am freezing. I am freezing to death.

COCOTTE. Waiter, bring him a glass of brandy and charge it to me.
[_Waiter exit Right._]

CHILD [_whimpering_]. I am freezing too, Mama, I'm cold.

TOWNSWOMAN. My poor little Phillip. [_To her husband._] You never think
of bringing a coat for the child. There, my darling, you shall have a
cup of hot coffee right away.

CHILD. Coffee is pfui. I want brandy!

TOWNSMAN [_sternly_]. Brandy is not for children. You'll drink coffee.

TOWNSWOMAN. Who says brandy is not for children? You get the most
foolish ideas in your head. Hush, hush, my baby, you shall have some
brandy.

AMERICAN. They ought to offer a medal for the murder of certain kinds of
wives.

BEGGAR. Oh! [_Whimpering._] Oh, what a life I lead! What a life!

A MAN [_feeding sugar to the dog_].

BEGGAR. I wish I were dead. Why did they pull me out? I want to die.
What does life mean to me? What joy is there in life for me?

ARTIST. There will be less joy for you in death. [_Laughter._]

BEGGAR. If I were only young. If I only had my two strong arms again. I
never dreamed I would come to this. I never would have believed
it--Forty years ago I was a workingman, yes, forty years until an
accident--

WORKINGMAN. Were you a Union man, brother?

BEGGAR. Certainly--certainly. [_Guardedly._] That is, I wasn't exactly a
Union man but--

WORKINGMAN. What! Not a Union man. [_Rushes at him._]

TOWNSMAN. What do you want to do to that poor man?

WORKINGMAN. Throw him back in the river. [_He is held back._]

BEGGAR. Forty years I worked at the machine--and now I have nothing to
show for it but diseased lungs.

TOWNSWOMAN [_decisively_]. Aristide, we are going home. Tuberculosis is
contagious.

WORKINGMAN. That's capital for you. The capitalist sucks the workingman
dry and then turns him out on the streets to starve. But we, the people,
shall have our day. When first the uprising of the masses--

AMERICAN. Oh, don't make a speech.

BEGGAR [_whining_]. And my military medal is gone. I must have lost it
in the water. You can still see the saber wound on my arm.

YOUNG MAN. Thus the Fatherland repays its valiant sons.

BEGGAR. Nobody knows what I suffered for France. Twenty years I served
in the foreign legion.

AMERICAN. This fellow ought to be celebrating his two hundredth birthday
soon.

BEGGAR. O God--my poor wife--my poor children--the youngest is just four
months old--

COCOTTE. Poor soul, here are two francs for you. [_Other people take out
their purses._]

BEGGAR. God bless you mademoiselle. [_Holds out his hat for the other
alms._]

    [_During the excitement the Beggar passes through the crowd
    begging and singing._]

BEGGAR.

  The rich man in his banquet hall,
    Has everything I long for.
  The poor man gets the crumbs that fall,
  That's what I sing this song for.
    Help a poor man, sir.

AMERICAN [_cries out in sudden alarm._] My dog! My Molly! She has jumped
into the river! [_The crowd is still and listening to him._] She will
drown! [_Runs to the edge of the dock._] There she is--swimming. Oh, my
Molly! She cost me eighty dollars. [_Desperately._] A hundred dollars to
the man that saves my dog. A hundred dollars.

A MAN. Do you mean that?

AMERICAN [_deaf to everything but his anxiety_]. A hundred dollars.
Here, I'll put it up with the Waiter--a hundred dollars for my poor dog.

VOICES IN THE CROWD. A hundred dollars! Five hundred francs!

    [_The Crowd moves, pushing and gesticulating to the water's edge.
    One by one they jump into the Seine with a great splashing. Only
    the American, the Young Man, the Cocotte and the Beggar remain._]

AMERICAN. My poor Molly! She loved me like a son! Where is that pole?
[_Gets pole and thrusts with it in the water._]

A VOICE. Hey! Oh! My head!

AMERICAN [_beside himself_]. There--over there--the poor dog never had a
swimming lesson. [_Sees the Young Man._] What are you standing there
for? You with your precious neighborly love! A hundred and fifty dollars
for my dog! Jump in! Here is a deposit. [_Pushes money in his hand._]

YOUNG MAN [_makes ready to jump, but stops at the edge and turns
around_]. No! For a dog? Never!

AMERICAN. It was a thoroughbred dog. Jump! I'll give you two
hundred--I'll take you back to the U. S. A. with me--I'll pay for your
musical education--anything--if you save my dog.

YOUNG MAN. Will you really pay for my musical education if I save your
dog?

AMERICAN [_on knees by wall_]. Every instrument there is--piano,
piccolo, cornet, bass drum--only jump!--jump!

YOUNG MAN [_upon wall throws a farewell kiss to the Cocotte, takes a
heroic posture_]. With God! [_Makes a perfect dive into the river._]

AMERICAN [_at the end of the dock, brokenly_]. Poor Molly! [_Dries his
eyes with handkerchief._] I'll endow a home for poor Parisians if she is
brought back to me alive. [_To the Cocotte._] Oh, dear lady, I don't
know whether I shall be able to meet you to-morrow at the Avenue de
l'Opera. I have had a bereavement. [_Comes down to the pavement._] I
must telephone to the lifeguard station. [_Exits into the café._] Poor
Molly! All the insurance I carried on her is three thousand dollars.
[_Exit with Artist into café, Right._] [_There is a brief pause._]

BEGGAR [_angrily_]. Damn his heart; the dog tender! I hope he drowns
himself. Just as I was doing the best business in weeks that damn dog
had to spoil everything. The scabby beast.

COCOTTE. How often have I asked you not to use those vulgar expressions.

BEGGAR. What! Is that how a daughter should speak to her father? You
shameless wench! I'll teach you. I'll be lame again hereafter. For when
I am lame I carry a stick and a stick is a good thing to have in your
hand to teach a daughter respect. Ten francs; you know for the picture.
[_While he speaks he is taking off his coat and vest, showing a cork
life belt beneath._] That suicide trick is getting played out
anyhow--hardly 50 francs--and I had to pay 20 for the place. Come my
daughter, we will go home. [_Calls._] Waiter--Waiter!

COCOTTE. He doesn't hear you, papa--Waiter if you don't come at once we
shall go without paying. [_The Waiter enters with hat wet._]

BEGGAR [_slips him a gold piece_]. Waiter, call a taxicab.

    [_The Waiter takes the coin with a respectful bow, blows his taxi
    whistle. As the answering whistle of the taxicab and the honk of
    the horn are heard the Beggar and Cocotte exit ceremoniously and
    the curtain falls._


  [_Curtain._]




THE TENOR

  A COMEDY

  BY FRANK WEDEKIND
  TRANSLATED BY ANDRÉ TRIDON.


  Copyright, 1913, by André Tridon.
  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    GERARDO [_Wagnerian tenor, thirty-six years old_].
    HELEN MAROVA [_a beautiful dark-haired woman of twenty-five_].
    PROFESSOR DUHRING [_sixty, the typical "misunderstood genius"_].
    MISS ISABEL COEHURNE [_a blonde English girl of sixteen_].
    MULLER [_hotel manager_].
    A VALET.
    A BELL BOY.
    AN UNKNOWN WOMAN.

  TIME: _The present_.
  PLACE: _A city in Austria_.


  THE TENOR was first produced in America by the Washington Square
  Players. Applications for permission to perform THE TENOR must be
  addressed to André Tridon, 121 Madison Avenue, New York.



THE TENOR

A COMEDY BY FRANK WEDEKIND


    [SCENE: _A large hotel room. There are doors at the right and in
    the center, and at the left a window with heavy portières. Behind
    a grand piano at the right stands a Japanese screen which conceals
    the fireplace. There are several large trunks, open; bunches of
    flowers are all over the room; many bouquets are piled up on the
    piano._]


VALET [_entering from the adjoining room carrying an armful of clothes
which he proceeds to pack in one of the trunks. There is a knock at the
door_]. Come in.

BELL BOY. There is a lady who wants to know if the Maestro is in.

VALET. He isn't in. [_Exit Bell Boy. The Valet goes into the adjoining
room and returns with another armful of clothes. There is another knock
at the door. He puts the clothes on a chair and goes to the door._]
What's this again? [_He opens the door and some one hands him several
large bunches of flowers, which he places carefully on the piano; then
he goes back to his packing. There is another knock. He opens the door
and takes a handful of letters. He glances at the addresses and reads
aloud:_ "Mister Gerardo. Monsieur Gerardo. Gerardo Esquire. Signor
Gerardo." [_He drops the letters on a tray and resumes his packing._]

    [_Enter Gerardo._]

GERARDO. Haven't you finished packing yet? How much longer will it take
you?

VALET. I'll be through in a minute, sir.

GERARDO. Hurry! I still have things to do. Let me see. [_He reaches for
something in a trunk._] God Almighty! Don't you know how to fold a pair
of trousers? [_Taking the trousers out._] This is what you call packing!
Look here! You still have something to learn from me, after all. You
take the trousers like this.... You lock this up here.... Then you take
hold of these buttons. Watch these buttons here, that's the important
thing. Then--you pull them straight.... There.... There.... Then you
fold them here.... See.... Now these trousers would keep their shape for
a hundred years.

VALET [_respectfully, with downcast eyes_]. You must have been a tailor
once, sir.

GERARDO. What! Well, not exactly.... [_He gives the trousers to the
Valet._] Pack those up, but be quick about it. Now about that train. You
are sure this is the last one we can take?

VALET. It is the only one that gets you there in time, sir. The next
train does not reach Brussels until ten o'clock.

GERARDO. Well, then, we must catch this one. I will just have time to go
over the second act. Unless I go over that.... Now don't let anybody....
I am out to everybody.

VALET. All right, sir. There are some letters for you, sir.

GERARDO. I have seen them.

VALET. And flowers!

GERARDO. Yes. all right. [_He takes the letters from the tray and throws
them on a chair before the piano. Then he opens the letters, glances
over them with beaming eyes, crumples them up and throws them under the
chair._] Remember! I am out to everybody.

VALET. I know, sir. [_He locks the trunks._]

GERARDO. To everybody.

VALET. You needn't worry, sir. [_Giving him the trunk keys._] Here are
the keys, sir.

GERARDO [_pocketing the keys_]. To everybody!

VALET. The trunks will be taken down at once. [_He goes out._]

GERARDO [_looking at his watch_]. Forty minutes. [_He pulls the score of
"Tristan" from underneath the flowers on the piano and walks up and down
humming._] "_Isolde! Geliebte! Bist du mein? Hab' ich dich wieder? Darf
ich dich fassen?_" [_He clears his throat, strikes a chord on the piano
and starts again._] "_Isolde! Geliebte! Bist du mein? Hab' ich dich
wieder?..._" [_He clears his throat._] The air is dead here. [_He
sings._] "_Isolde! Geliebte...._" It's oppressive here. Let's have a
little fresh air. [_He goes to the window at the left and fumbles for
the curtain cord._] Where is the thing? On the other side! Here! [_He
pulls the cord and throws his head back with an annoyed expression when
he sees Miss Coeurne._]

MISS COEURNE [_in three-quarter length skirt, her blonde hair down her
back, holding a bunch of red roses; she speaks with an English accent
and looks straight at Gerardo_]. Oh, please don't send me away.

GERARDO. What else can I do? God knows, I haven't asked you to come
here. Do not take it badly, dear young lady, but I have to sing
to-morrow night in Brussels. I must confess, I hoped I would have this
half-hour to myself. I had just given positive orders not to let any
one, whoever it might be, come up to my rooms.

MISS COEURNE [_coming down stage_]. Don't send me away. I heard you
yesterday in "Tannhäuser," and I was just bringing you these roses,
and--

GERARDO. And--and what?

MISS COEURNE. And myself.... I don't know whether you understand me.

GERARDO [_holding the back of a chair; he hesitates, then shakes his
head._] Who are you?

MISS COEURNE. My name is Miss Coeurne.

GERARDO. Yes.... Well?

MISS COEURNE. I am very silly.

GERARDO. I know. Come here, my dear girl. [_He sits down in an armchair
and she stands before him._] Let's have a good earnest talk, such as you
have never had in your life--and seem to need. An artist like
myself--don't misunderstand me; you are--how old are you?

MISS COEURNE. Twenty-two.

GERARDO. You are sixteen or perhaps seventeen. You make yourself a
little older so as to appear more--tempting. Well? Yes, you are very
silly. It is really none of my business, as an artist, to cure you of
your silliness.... Don't take this badly.... Now then! Why are you
staring away like this?

MISS COEURNE. I said I was very silly, because I thought you Germans
liked that in a young girl.

GERARDO. I am not a German, but just the same....

MISS COEURNE. What! I am not as silly as all that.

GERARDO. Now look here, my dear girl--you have your tennis court, your
skating club; you have your riding class, your dances; you have all a
young girl can wish for. What on earth made you come to me?

MISS COEURNE. Because all those things are awful, and they bore me to
death.

GERARDO. I will not dispute that. Personally, I must tell you, I know
life from an entirely different side. But, my child, I am a man; I am
thirty-six. The time will come when you, too, will claim a fuller
existence. Wait another two years and there will be some one for you,
and then you won't need to--hide yourself behind curtains, in my room,
in the room of a man who--never asked you, and whom you don't know any
better than--the whole continent of Europe knows him--in order to look
at life from his--wonderful point of view. [_Miss Coeurne sighs
deeply._] Now then.... Many thanks from the bottom of my heart for your
roses. [_He presses her hand._] Will this do for to-day?

MISS COEURNE. I had never in all my life thought of a man, until I saw
you on the stage last night in "Tannhäuser." And I promise you--

GERARDO. Oh, don't promise me anything, my child. What good could your
promise do me? The burden of it would all fall upon you. You see, I am
talking to you as lovingly as the most loving father could. Be thankful
to God that with your recklessness you haven't fallen into the hands of
another artist. [_He presses her hand again._] Let this be a lesson to
you and never try it again.

MISS COEURNE [_holding her handkerchief to her face but shedding no
tears_]. Am I so homely?

GERARDO. Homely! Not homely, but young and indiscreet. [_He rises
nervously, goes to the right, comes back, puts his arm around her waist
and takes her hand._] Listen to me, child. You are not homely because I
have to be a singer, because I have to be an artist. Don't misunderstand
me, but I can't see why I should simply, because I am an artist, have to
assure you that I appreciate your youthful freshness and beauty. It is a
question of time. Two hundred, maybe three hundred, nice, lovely girls
of your age saw me last night in the rôle of Tannhäuser. Now if every
one of those girls made the same demands upon me which you are
making--what would become of my singing? What would become of my voice?
What would become of my art?

    [_Miss Coeurne sinks into a seat, covers her face and weeps._]

GERARDO [_leaning over the back of her chair, in a friendly tone_]. It
is a crime for you, child, to weep over the fact that you are still so
young. Your whole life is ahead of you. Is it my fault if you fell in
love with me? They all do. That is what I am for. Now won't you be a
good girl and let me, for the few minutes I have left, prepare myself
for to-morrow's appearance?

MISS COEURNE [_rising and drying her tears_]. I can't believe that any
other girl would have acted the way I have.

GERARDO [_leading her to the door_]. No, dear child.

MISS COEURNE [_with sobs in her voice_]. At least, not if--

GERARDO. If my valet had stood before the door.

MISS COEURNE. If--

GERARDO. If the girl had been as beautiful and youthfully fresh as you.

MISS COEURNE. If--

GERARDO. If she had heard me only once in "Tannhäuser."

MISS COEURNE [_indignant_]. If she were as respectable as I am!

GERARDO [_pointing to the piano_]. Before saying good-by to me, child,
have a look at all those flowers. May this be a warning to you in case
you feel tempted again to fall in love with a singer. See how fresh they
all are. And I have to let them wither, dry up, or I give them to the
porter. And look at those letters. [_He takes a handful of them from a
tray._] I don't know any of those women. Don't worry; I leave them all
to their fate. What else could I do? But I'll wager with you that every
one of your lovely young friends sent in her little note.

MISS COEURNE. Well, I promise not to do it again, not to hide myself
behind your curtains. But don't send me away.

GERARDO. My time, my time, dear child. If I were not on the point of
taking a train! I have already told you, I am very sorry for you. But my
train leaves in twenty-five minutes. What do you expect?

MISS COEURNE. A kiss.

GERARDO [_stiffening up_]. From me?

MISS COEURNE. Yes.

GERARDO [_holding her around the waist and looking very serious_]. You
rob Art of its dignity, my child. I do not wish to appear an unfeeling
brute, and I am going to give you my picture. Give me your word that
after that you will leave me.

MISS COEURNE. Yes.

GERARDO. Good. [_He sits at the table and autographs one of his
pictures._] You should try to become interested in the operas themselves
instead of the men who sing them. You would probably derive much greater
enjoyment.

MISS COEURNE [_to herself_]. I am too young yet.

GERARDO. Sacrifice yourself to music. [_He comes down stage and gives
her the picture._] Don't see in me a famous tenor but a mere tool in the
hands of a noble master. Look at all the married women among your
acquaintances. All Wagnerians. Study Wagner's works; learn to understand
his _leit motifs_. That will save you from further foolishness.

MISS COEURNE. I thank you.

    [_Gerardo leads her out and rings the bell. He takes up his piano
    score again. There is a knock at the door._]

VALET [_coming in out of breath_]. Yes, sir.

GERARDO. Are you standing at the door?

VALET. Not just now, sir.

GERARDO. Of course not! Be sure not to let anybody come up here.

VALET. There were three ladies who asked for you, sir.

GERARDO. Don't you dare to let any one of them come up, whatever she may
tell you.

VALET. And then here are some more letters.

GERARDO. Oh, all right. [_The Valet places the letters on a tray._] And
don't you dare to let any one come up.

VALET [_at the door_]. No, sir.

GERARDO. Even if she offers to settle a fortune upon you.

VALET. No, sir. [_He goes out._]

GERARDO [_singing_]. _"Isolde! Geliebte! Bist du...."_ Well, if women
don't get tired of me--Only the world is so full of them; and I am only
one man. Every one has his burden to carry. [_He strikes a chord on the
piano._]

    [_Prof. Duhring, dressed all in black, with a long white beard, a
    red hooked nose, gold spectacles, Prince Albert coat and silk hat,
    an opera score under his arm, enters without knocking._]

GERARDO. What do you want?

DUHRING. Maestro--I--I--have--an opera.

GERARDO. How did you get in?

DUHRING. I have been watching for two hours for a chance to run up the
stairs unnoticed.

GERARDO. But, my dear good man, I have no time.

DUHRING. Oh, I will not play the whole opera for you.

GERARDO. I haven't the time. My train leaves in forty minutes.

DUHRING. You haven't the time! What should I say? You are thirty and
successful. You have your whole life to live yet. Just listen to your
part in my opera. You promised to listen to it when you came to this
city.

GERARDO. What is the use? I am not a free agent--

DUHRING. Please! Please! Please! Maestro! I stand before you an old man,
ready to fall on my knees before you; an old man who has never cared for
anything in the world but his art. For fifty years I have been a willing
victim to the tyranny of art--

GERARDO [_interrupting him_]. Yes, I understand; I understand, but--

DUHRING [_excitedly_]. No, you don't understand. You could not
understand. How could you, the favorite of fortune, you understand what
fifty years of bootless work means? But I will try to make you
understand it. You see, I am too old to take my own life. People who do
that do it at twenty-five, and I let the time pass by. I must now drag
along to the end of my days. Please, sir, please don't let these moments
pass in vain for me, even if you have to lose a day thereby, a week
even. This is in your own interest. A week ago, when you first came for
your special appearances, you promised to let me play my opera for you.
I have come here every day since; either you had a rehearsal or a woman
caller. And now you are on the point of going away. You have only to say
one word: I will sing the part of Hermann--and they will produce my
opera. You will then thank God for my insistance.... Of course you sing
Siegfried, you sing Florestan--but you have no rôle like Hermann in your
repertoire, no rôle better suited to your middle register.

    [_Gerardo leans against the mantelpiece; while drumming on the top
    with his right hand, he discovers something behind the screen; he
    suddenly stretches out his arm and pulls out a woman in a gray
    gown, whom he leads out of the room through the middle door; after
    closing the door, he turns to Duhring._]

GERARDO. Oh, are you still there?

DUHRING [_undisturbed_]. This opera is good; it is dramatic; it is a
financial success. I can show you letters from Liszt, from Wagner, from
Rubinstein, in which they consider me as a superior man. And why hasn't
any opera ever been produced? Because I am not crying wares on the
market-place. And then you know our directors: they will revive ten dead
men before they give a live man a chance. Their walls are well guarded.
At thirty you are in. At sixty I am still out. One word from you and I
shall be in, too. This is why I have come, and [_raising his voice_] if
you are not an unfeeling brute, if success has not killed in you the
last spark of artistic sympathy, you will not refuse to hear my work.

GERARDO. I will give you an answer in a week. I will go over your opera.
Let me have it.

DUHRING. No, I am too old, Maestro. In a week, in what you call a week,
I shall be dead and buried. In a week--that is what they all say; and
then they keep it for years.

GERARDO. I am very sorry but--

DUHRING. To-morrow perhaps you will be on your knees before me; you will
boast of knowing me ... and to-day, in your sordid lust for gold, you
cannot even spare the half-hour which would mean the breaking of my
fetters.

GERARDO. No, really, I have only thirty-five minutes left, and unless I
go over a few passages.... You know I sing Tristan in Brussels to-morrow
night. [_He pulls out his watch._] I haven't even half an hour....

DUHRING. Half an hour.... Oh, then, let me play to you your big aria at
the end of the first act. [_He attempts to sit down on the piano bench.
Gerardo restrains him._]

GERARDO. Now, frankly, my dear sir.... I am a singer; I am not a critic.
If you wish to have your opera produced, address yourself to those
gentlemen who are paid to know what is good and what is not. People
scorn and ignore my opinions in such matters as completely as they
appreciate and admire my singing.

DUHRING. My dear Maestro, you may take it from me that I myself attach
no importance whatever to your judgment. What do I care about your
opinions? I know you tenors; I would like to play my score for you so
that you could say: "I would like to sing the rôle of Hermann."

GERARDO. If you only knew how many things I would like to do and which I
have to renounce, and how many things I must do for which I do not care
in the least! Half a million a year does not repay me for the many joys
of life which I must sacrifice for the sake of my profession. I am not a
free man. But you were a free man all your life. Why didn't you go to
the market-place and cry your wares?

DUHRING. Oh, the vulgarity of it.... I have tried it a hundred times. I
am a composer, Maestro, and nothing more.

GERARDO. By which you mean that you have exhausted all your strength in
the writing of your operas and kept none of it to secure their
production.

DUHRING. That is true.

GERARDO. The composers I know reverse the process. They get their operas
written somehow and then spend all their strength in an effort to get
them produced.

DUHRING. That is the type of artist I despise.

GERARDO. Well, I despise the type of man that wastes his life in useless
endeavor. What have you done in those fifty years of struggle, for
yourself or for the world? Fifty years of useless struggle! That should
convince the worst blockhead of the impracticability of his dreams. What
have you done with your life? You have wasted it shamefully. If I had
wasted my life as you have wasted yours--of course I am only speaking
for myself--I don't think I should have the courage to look any one in
the face.

DUHRING. I am not doing it for myself; I am doing it for my art.

GERARDO [_scornfully_]. Art, my dear man! Let me tell you that art is
quite different from what the papers tell us it is.

DUHRING. To me it is the highest thing in the world.

GERARDO. You may believe that, but nobody else does. We artists are
merely a luxury for the use of the _bourgeoisie_. When I stand there on
the stage I feel absolutely certain that not one solitary human being in
the audience takes the slightest interest in what we, the artists, are
doing. If they did, how could they listen to "Die Walküre," for
instance? Why, it is an indecent story which could not be mentioned
anywhere in polite society. And yet, when I sing Siegmund, the most
puritanical mothers bring their fourteen-year-old daughters to hear me.
This, you see, is the meaning of whatever you call art. This is what you
have sacrificed fifty years of your life to. Find out how many people
came to hear me sing and how many came to gape at me as they would at
the Emperor of China if he should turn up here to-morrow. Do you know
what the artistic wants of the public consist in? To applaud, to send
flowers, to have a subject for conversation, to see and be seen. They
pay me half a million, but then I make business for hundreds of cabbies,
writers, dressmakers, restaurant keepers. It keeps money circulating; it
keeps blood running. It gets girls engaged, spinsters married, wives
tempted, old cronies supplied with gossip; a woman loses her pocketbook
in the crowd, a fellow becomes insane during the performance. Doctors,
lawyers made.... [_He coughs._] And with this I must sing Tristan in
Brussels to-morrow night! I tell you all this, not out of vanity, but to
cure you of your delusions. The measure of a man's worth is the world's
opinion of him, not the inner belief which one finally adopts after
brooding over it for years. Don't imagine that you are a misunderstood
genius. There are no misunderstood geniuses.

DUHRING. Let me just play to you the first scene of th second act. A
park landscape as in the painting, "Embarkation for the Isle of
Cythera."

GERARDO. I repeat to you I have no time. And furthermore, since Wagner's
death the need for new operas has never been felt by any one. If you
come with new music, you set against yourself all the music schools, the
artists, the public. If you want to succeed just steal enough out of
Wagner's works to make up a whole opera. Why should I cudgel my brains
with your new music when I have cudgeled them cruelly with the old?

DUHRING [_holding out his trembling hand_]. I am afraid I am too old to
learn how to steal. Unless one begins very young, one can never learn
it.

GERARDO. Don't feel hurt. My dear sir--if I could.... The thought of how
you have to struggle.... I happen to have received some five hundred
marks more than my fee....

DUHRING [_turning to the door_]. Don't! Please don't! Do not say that. I
did not try to show you my opera in order to work a touch. No, I think
too much of this child of my brain.... No, Maestro.

    [_He goes out through the center door._]

GERARDO [_following him to the door_]. I beg your pardon.... Pleased to
have met you.

    [_He closes the door and sinks into an armchair. A voice is heard
    outside: "I will not let that man step in my way." Helen rushes
    into the room followed by the Valet. She is an unusually beautiful
    young woman in street dress._]

HELEN. That man stood there to prevent me from seeing you!

GERARDO. Helen!

HELEN. You knew that I would come to see you.

VALET [_rubbing his cheek_]. I did all I could, sir, but this lady
actually--

HELEN. Yes, I slapped his face.

GERARDO. Helen!

HELEN. Should I have let him insult me?

GERARDO [_to the Valet_]. Please leave us.

    [_The Valet goes out._]

HELEN [_placing her muff on a chair_]. I can no longer live without
you. Either you take me with you or I will kill myself.

GERARDO. Helen!

HELEN. Yes, kill myself. A day like yesterday, without even seeing
you--no, I could not live through that again. I am not strong enough. I
beseech you, Oscar, take me with you.

GERARDO. I couldn't.

HELEN. You could if you wanted to. You can't leave me without killing
me. These are not mere words. This isn't a threat. It is a fact: I will
die if I can no longer have you. You must take me with you--it is your
duty--if only for a short time.

GERARDO. I give you my word of honor, Helen, I can't--I give you my
word.

HELEN. You must, Oscar. Whether you can or not, you must bear the
consequences of your acts. I love life, but to me life and you are one
and the same thing. Take me with you, Oscar, if you don't want to have
my blood on your hands.

GERARDO. Do you remember what I said to you the first day we were
together here?

HELEN. I remember, but what good does that do me?

GERARDO. I said that there couldn't be any question of love between us.

HELEN. I can't help that. I didn't know you then. I never knew what a
man could be to me until I met you. You know very well that it would
come to this, otherwise you wouldn't have obliged me to promise not to
make you a parting scene.

GERARDO. I simply cannot take you with me.

HELEN. Oh, God! I knew you would say that! I knew it when I came here.
That's what you say to every woman. And I am just one of a hundred. I
know it. But, Oscar, I am lovesick; I am dying of love. This is your
work, and you can save me without any sacrifice on your part, without
assuming any burden. Why can't you do it?

GERARDO [_very slowly_]. Because my contract forbids me to marry or to
travel in the company of a woman.

HELEN [_disturbed_]. What can prevent you?

GERARDO. My contract.

HELEN. You cannot....

GERARDO. I cannot marry until my contract expires.

HELEN. And you cannot....

GERARDO. I cannot travel in the company of a woman.

HELEN. That is incredible. And whom in the world should it concern?

GERARDO. My manager.

HELEN. Your manager! What business is it of his?

GERARDO. It is precisely his business.

HELEN. Is it perhaps because it might--affect your voice?

GERARDO. Yes.

HELEN. That is preposterous. Does it affect your voice?

    [_Gerardo chuckles._]

HELEN. Does your manager believe that nonsense?

GERARDO. No, he doesn't.

HELEN. This is beyond me. I can't understand how a decent man could sign
such a contract.

GERARDO. I am an artist first and a man next.

HELEN. Yes, that's what you are--a great artist--an eminent artist.
Can't you understand how much I must love you? You are the first man
whose superiority I have felt and whom I desired to please, and you
despise me for it. I have bitten my lips many a time not to let you
suspect how much you meant to me; I was so afraid I might bore you.
Yesterday, however, put me in a state of mind which no woman can endure.
If I didn't love you so insanely, Oscar, you would think more of me.
That is the terrible thing about you--that you must scorn a woman who
thinks the world of you.

GERARDO. Helen!

HELEN. Your contract! Don't use your contract as a weapon to murder me
with. Let me go with you, Oscar. You will see if your manager ever
mentions a breach of contract. He would not do such a thing. I know men.
And if he says a word, it will be time then for me to die.

GERARDO. We have no right to do that, Helen. You are just as little free
to follow me, as I am to shoulder such a responsibility. I don't belong
to myself; I belong to my art.

HELEN. Oh, leave your art alone. What do I care about your art? Has God
created a man like you to make a puppet of himself every night? You
should be ashamed of it instead of boasting of it. You see, I overlooked
the fact that you were merely an artist. What wouldn't I overlook for a
god like you? Even if you were a convict, Oscar, my feelings would be
the same. I would lie in the dust at your feet and beg for your pity. I
would face death as I am facing it now.

GERARDO [_laughing_]. Facing death, Helen! Women who are endowed with
your gifts for enjoying life don't make away with themselves. You know
even better than I do the value of life.

HELEN [_dreamily_]. Oscar, I didn't say that I would shoot myself. When
did I say that? Where would I find the courage to do that? I only said
that I will die, if you don't take me with you. I will die as I would of
an illness, for I only live when I am with you. I can live without my
home, without my children, but not without you, Oscar. I cannot live
without you.

GERARDO. Helen, if you don't calm yourself.... You put me in an awful
position.... I have only ten minutes left.... I can't explain in court
that your excitement made me break my contract.... I can only give you
ten minutes.... If you don't calm yourself in that time.... I can't
leave you alone in this condition. Think all you have at stake!

HELEN. As though I had anything else at stake!

GERARDO. You can lose your position in society.

HELEN. I can lose you!

GERARDO. And your family?

HELEN. I care for no one but you.

GERARDO. But I cannot be yours.

HELEN. Then I have nothing to lose but my life.

GERARDO. Your children!

HELEN. Who has taken me from them, Oscar? Who has taken me from my
children?

GERARDO. Did I make any advances to you?

HELEN [_passionately_]. No, no. I have thrown myself at you, and would
throw myself at you again. Neither my husband nor my children could keep
me back. When I die, at least I will have lived; thanks to you, Oscar! I
thank you, Oscar, for revealing me to myself. I thank you for that.

GERARDO. Helen, calm yourself and listen to me.

HELEN. Yes, yes, for ten minutes.

GERARDO. Listen to me. [_Both sit down on the divan._]

HELEN [_staring at him_]. Yes, I thank you for it.

GERARDO. Helen!

HELEN. I don't even ask you to love me. Let me only breathe the air you
breathe.

GERARDO[_trying to be calm_]. Helen--a man of my type cannot be swayed
by any of the bourgeois ideas. I have known society women in every
country of the world. Some made parting scenes to me, but at least they
all knew what they owed to their position. This is the first time in my
life that I have witnessed such an outburst of passion.... Helen, the
temptation comes to me daily to step with some woman into an idyllic
Arcadia. But every human being has his duties; you have your duties as I
have mine, and the call of duty is the highest thing in the world....

HELEN. I know better than you do what the highest duty is.

GERARDO. What, then? Your love for me? That's what they all say.
Whatever a woman has set her heart on winning is to her good; whatever
crosses her plans is evil. It is the fault of our playwrights. To draw
full houses they set the world upside down, and when a woman abandons
her children and her family to follow her instincts they call that--oh,
broad-mindedness. I personally wouldn't mind living the way turtle doves
live. But since I am a part of this world I must obey my duty first.
Then whenever the opportunity arises I quaff of the cup of joy. Whoever
refuses to do his duty has no right to make any demands upon another
fellow being.

HELEN [_staring absent-mindedly_]. That does not bring the dead back to
life.

GERARDO [_nervously_]. Helen, I will give you back your life. I will
give you back what you have sacrificed for me. For God's sake take it.
What does it come to, after all? Helen, how can a woman lower herself to
that point? Where is your pride? What am I in the eyes of the world? A
man who makes a puppet of himself every night! Helen, are you going to
kill yourself for a man whom hundreds of women loved before you, whom
hundreds of women will love after you without letting their feelings
disturb their life one second? Will you, by shedding your warm red
blood, make yourself ridiculous before God and the world?

HELEN [_looking away from him_]. I know I am asking a good deal,
but--what else can I do?

GERARDO. Helen, you said I should bear the consequences of my acts. Will
you reproach for not refusing to receive you when you first came here,
ostensibly to ask me to try your voice? What can a man do in such a
case? You are the beauty of this town. Either I would be known as the
bear among artists who denies himself to all women callers, or I might
have received you and pretended that I didn't understand what you meant
and then pass for a fool. Or the very first day I might have talked to
you as frankly as I am talking now. Dangerous business. You would have
called me a conceited idiot. Tell me, Helen--what else could I do?

HELEN [_staring at him with, imploring eyes, shuddering and making an
effort to speak_]. O God! O God! Oscar, what would you say if to-morrow
I should go and be as happy with another man as I have been with you?
Oscar--what would you say?

GERARDO [_after a silence_]. Nothing. [_He looks at his watch._] Helen--

HELEN. Oscar! [_She kneels before him._] For the last time, I implore
you.... You don't know what you are doing.... It isn't your fault--but
don't let me die.... Save me--save me!

GERARDO [_raising her up_]. Helen, I am not such a wonderful man. How
many men have you known? The more men you come to know, the lower all
men will fall in your estimation. When you know men better you will not
take your life for any one of them. You will not think any more of them
than I do of women.

HELEN. I am not like you in that respect.

GERARDO. I speak earnestly, Helen. We don't fall in love with one person
or another; we fall in love with our type, which we find everywhere in
the world if we only look sharply enough.

HELEN. And when we meet our type, are we sure then of being loved again?

GERARDO [_angrily_]. You have no right to complain of your husband. Was
any girl ever compelled to marry against her will? That is all rot. It
is only the women who have sold themselves for certain material
advantages and then try to dodge their obligations who try to make us
believe that nonsense.

HELEN [_smiling_]. They break their contracts.

GERARDO [_pounding his chest_]. When I sell myself, at least I am honest
about it.

HELEN. Isn't love honest?

GERARDO. No! Love is a beastly bourgeois virtue. Love is the last refuge
of the mollycoddle, of the coward. In my world every man has his actual
value, and when two human beings make up a pact they know exactly what
to expect from each other. Love has nothing to do with it, either.

HELEN. Won't you lead me into your world, then?

GERARDO. Helen, will you compromise the happiness of your life and the
happiness of your dear ones for just a few days' pleasure?

HELEN. No.

GERARDO [_much relieved_]. Will you promise me to go home quietly now?

HELEN. Yes.

GERARDO. And will you promise me that you will not die....

HELEN. Yes.

GERARDO. You promise me that?

HELEN. Yes.

GERARDO. And you promise me to fulfill your duties as mother and--as
wife?

HELEN. Yes.

GERARDO. Helen!

HELEN. Yes. What else do you want? I will promise anything.

GERARDO. And now may I go away in peace?

HELEN [_rising_]. Yes.

GERARDO. A last kiss?

HELEN. Yes, yes, yes. [_They kiss passionately._]

GERARDO. In a year I am booked again to sing here, Helen.

HELEN. In a year! Oh, I am glad!

GERARDO [_tenderly_]. Helen!

    [_Helen presses his hand, takes a revolver out of her muff, shoots
    herself and falls._]

GERARDO. Helen! [_He totters and collapses in an armchair._]

BELL BOY [_rushing in_]. My God! Mr. Gerardo! [_Gerardo remains
motionless; the Bell Boy rushes toward Helen._]

GERARDO [_jumping up, running to the door and colliding with the manager
of the hotel_]. Send for the police! I must be arrested! If I went away
now I should be a brute, and if I stay I break my contract. I still have
[_looking at his watch_] one minute and ten seconds.

MANAGER. Fred, run and get a policeman.

BELL BOY. All right, sir.

MANAGER. Be quick about it. [_To Gerardo._] Don't take it too hard, sir.
Those things happen once in a while.

GERARDO [_kneeling before Helen's body and taking her hand_]. Helen!...
She still lives--she still lives! If I am arrested I am not wilfully
breaking my contract.... And my trunks? Is the carriage at the door?

MANAGER. It has been waiting twenty minutes, Mr. Gerardo. [_He opens the
door for the porter, who takes down one of the trunks._]

GERARDO [_bending over her_]. Helen! [_To himself._] Well, after all....
[_To Muller._] Have you called a doctor?

MANAGER. Yes, we had the doctor called at once. He will be here at any
minute.

GERARDO [_holding her under the arms_]. Helen! Don't you know me any
more? Helen! The doctor will be here right away, Helen. This is your
Oscar.

BELL BOY [_appearing in the door at the center_]. Can't find any
policeman, sir.

GERARDO [_letting Helen's body drop back_]. Well, if I can't get
arrested, that settles it. I must catch that train and sing in Brussels
to-morrow night. [_He takes up his score and runs out through the center
door, bumping against several chairs._]


  [_Curtain._]




A GOOD WOMAN

  A FARCE

  BY ARNOLD BENNETT


  CHARACTERS

    JAMES BRETT [_a Clerk in the War Office_, 33].
    GERALD O'MARA [_a Civil Engineer_, 24].
    ROSAMUND FIFE [_a Spinster and a Lecturer on Cookery_, 28].


  Reprinted from "Polite Farces," published by George H. Doran Company,
  by special arrangement with Mr. Arnold Bennett.



A GOOD WOMAN

A FARCE BY ARNOLD BENNETT


    [SCENE: _Rosamund's Flat; the drawing-room. The apartment is
    plainly furnished. There is a screen in the corner of the room
    furthest from the door. It is 9 A. M. Rosamund is seated alone at
    a table. She wears a neat travelling-dress, with a plain straw
    hat. Her gloves lie on a chair. A small portable desk full of
    papers is open before her. She gazes straight in front of her,
    smiling vaguely. With a start she recovers from her daydreams, and
    rushing to the looking-glass, inspects her features therein. Then
    she looks at her watch._]


ROSAMUND. Three hours yet! I'm a fool [_with decision. She sits down
again, and idly picks up a paper out of the desk. The door opens,
unceremoniously but quietly, and James enters. The two stare at each
other, James wearing a conciliatory smile_].

ROSAMUND. You appalling creature!

JAMES. I couldn't help it, I simply couldn't help it.

ROSAMUND. Do you know this is the very height and summit of indelicacy?

JAMES. I was obliged to come.

ROSAMUND. If I had any relations--

JAMES. Which you haven't.

ROSAMUND. I say _if_ I had any relations--

JAMES. I say _which_ you haven't.

ROSAMUND. Never mind, it is a safe rule for unattached women always to
behave as if they had relations, especially female relations whether
they have any or not. My remark is, that if I had any relations they
would be absolutely scandalized by this atrocious conduct of yours.

JAMES. What have I done?

ROSAMUND. Can you ask? Here are you, and here am I. We are to be married
to-day at twelve o'clock. The ceremony has not taken place, and yet you
are found on my premises. You must surely be aware that on the day of
the wedding the parties--yes, the "parties," that is the word--should on
no account see each other till they see each other in church.

JAMES. But since we are to be married at a registry office, does the
rule apply?

ROSAMUND. Undoubtedly.

JAMES. Then I must apologize. My excuse is that I am not up in these
minute details of circumspection; you see I have been married so seldom.

ROSAMUND. Evidently. [_A pause, during which James at last ventures to
approach the middle of the room._] Now you must go back home, and we'll
pretend we haven't seen each other.

JAMES. Never, Rosamund! That would be acting a lie. And I couldn't dream
of getting married with a lie on my lips. It would be so unusual. No; we
have sinned, or rather I have sinned, on this occasion. I will continue
to sin--openly, brazenly. Come here, my dove. A bird in the hand is
worth two under a bushel. [_He assumes an attitude of entreaty, and,
leaving her chair, Rosamund goes towards him. They exchange an ardent
kiss._]

ROSAMUND [_quietly submissive_]. I'm awfully busy, you know, Jim.

JAMES. I will assist you in your little duties, dearest, and then I will
accompany you to the sacred ed--to the registry office. Now, what were
you doing? [_She sits down, and he puts a chair for himself close beside
her._]

ROSAMUND. You are singularly unlike yourself this morning, dearest.

JAMES. Nervous tension, my angel. I should have deemed it impossible
that an _employé_ of the War Office could experience the marvelous and
exquisite sensations now agitating my heart. But tell me, what are you
doing with these papers?

ROSAMUND. Well, I was just going to look through them and see if they
contained anything of a remarkable or valuable nature. You see, I hadn't
anything to occupy myself with.

JAMES. Was 'oo bored, waiting for the timey-pimey to come?

ROSAMUND [_hands caressing_]. 'Iss, little pet was bored, she was. Was
Mr. Pet lonely this morning? Couldn't he keep away from his little
cooky-lecturer? He should see his little cooky-lecturer.

JAMES. And that reminds me, hadn't we better lunch in the train instead
of at Willis's? That will give us more time?

ROSAMUND. Horrid greedy piggywiggy! Perhaps he will be satisfied if Mrs.
Pet agrees to lunch both at Willis's and in the train?

JAMES. Yes. Only piggywiggy doesn't want to trespass on Mrs. Pet's good
nature. Let piggywiggy look at the papers. [_He takes up a paper from
the desk._]

ROSAMUND [_a little seriously_]. No, Jimmy. I don't think we'll go
through them. Perhaps it wouldn't be wise. Just let's destroy them.
[_Takes papers from his hand and drops them in desk._]

JAMES [_sternly_]. When you have been the wife of a War Office clerk for
a week you will know that papers ought never to be destroyed. Now I come
to think, it is not only my right but my duty to examine this secret
_dossier_. Who knows--[_Takes up at random another document, which
proves to be a postcard. Reads._] "Shall come to-morrow night. Thine,
Gerald."

ROSAMUND [_after a startled shriek of consternation_]. There! There!
You've done it, first time! [_She begins to think, with knitted brows._]

JAMES. Does this highly suspicious postcard point to some--some episode
in your past of which you have deemed it advisable to keep me in
ignorance? If so, I seek not to inquire. I forgive you--I take you,
Rosamund, as you are!

ROSAMUND [_reflective, not heeding his remark_]. I had absolutely
forgotten the whole affair, absolutely. [_Smiles a little. Aside._]
Suppose he should come! [_To James._] Jim, I think I had better tell you
all about Gerald. It will interest you. Besides, there is no knowing
what may happen.

JAMES. As I have said, I seek not to inquire. [_Stiffly._] Nor do I
imagine that this matter, probably some childish entanglement, would
interest me.

ROSAMUND. Oh, wouldn't it! Jim, don't be absurd. You know perfectly well
you are dying to hear.

JAMES. Very well, save my life, then, at the least expense of words. To
begin with, who is this Gerald--"thine," thine own Gerald?

ROSAMUND. Don't you remember Gerald O'Mara? You met him at the Stokes's,
I feel sure. You know--the young engineer.

JAMES. Oh! _That_ ass!

ROSAMUND. He isn't an ass. He's a very clever boy.

JAMES. For the sake of argument and dispatch, agreed! Went out to Cyprus
or somewhere, didn't he, to build a bridge, or make a dock, or dig a
well, or something of that kind?

ROSAMUND [_nodding_]. Now, listen, I'll tell you all about it. [_Settles
herself for a long narration._] Four years ago poor, dear Gerald was
madly in love with me. He was twenty and I was twenty-four. Keep calm--I
felt like his aunt. Don't forget I was awfully pretty in those days.
Well, he was so tremendously in love that in order to keep him from
destroying himself--of course, I knew he was going out to Cyprus--I sort
of pretended to be sympathetic. I simply _had_ to; Irishmen are so
passionate. And he was very nice. And I barely knew you then. Well, the
time approached for him to leave for Cyprus, and two days before the
ship sailed he sent me that very postcard that by pure chance you picked
up.

JAMES. He should have written a letter.

ROSAMUND. Oh! I expect he couldn't wait. He was so impulsive. Well, on
the night before he left England he came here and proposed to me. I
remember I was awfully tired and queer. I had been giving a lecture in
the afternoon on "How to Pickle Pork," and the practical demonstration
had been rather smelly. However, the proposal braced me up. It was the
first I had had--that year. Well, I was so sorry for him that I
couldn't say "No" outright. It would have been too brutal. He might have
killed himself on the spot, and spoilt this carpet, which, by the way,
was new then. So I said, "Look here, Gerald--"

JAMES. You called him "Gerald"?

ROSAMUND. _Rather!_ "Look here, Gerald," I said; "you are going to
Cyprus for four years. If your feeling towards me is what you think it
is, come back to me at the end of those four years, and I will then give
you an answer." Of course I felt absolutely sure that in the intervening
period he would fall in and out of love half a dozen times at least.

JAMES. Of course, half a dozen times at least; probably seven. What did
he say in reply?

ROSAMUND. He agreed with all the seriousness in the world. "On this day
four years hence," he said, standing just there [_pointing_], "I will
return for your answer. And in the meantime I will live only for you."
That was what he said--his very words.

JAMES. And a most touching speech, too! And then?

ROSAMUND. We shook hands, and he tore himself away, stifling a sob.
Don't forget, he was a boy.

JAMES. Have the four years expired?

ROSAMUND. What is the date of that postcard? Let me see it. [_Snatches
it, and smiles at the handwriting pensively._] July 4th--four years ago.

JAMES. Then it's over. He's not coming. To-day is July 5th.

ROSAMUND. But yesterday was Sunday. He wouldn't come on Sunday. He was
always very particular and nice.

JAMES. Do you mean to imply that you think he will come to-day and
demand from you an affirmative? A moment ago you gave me to understand
that in your opinion he would have--er--other affairs to attend to.

ROSAMUND. Yes. I did think so at the time. But now--now I have a kind of
idea that he may come, that after all he may have remained faithful. You
know I was maddeningly pretty then, and he had my photograph.

JAMES. Tell me, have you corresponded?

ROSAMUND. No, I expressly forbade it.

JAMES. Ah!

ROSAMUND. But still, I have a premonition he may come.

JAMES [_assuming a pugnacious pose_]. If he does, I will attend to him.

ROSAMUND. Gerald was a terrible fighter. [_A resounding knock is heard
at the door. Both start violently, and look at each other in silence.
Rosamund goes to the door and opens it._]

ROSAMUND [_with an unsteady laugh of relief_]. Only the postman with a
letter. [_She returns to her seat._] No, I don't expect he will come,
really. [_Puts letter idly on table. Another knock still louder. Renewed
start._]

ROSAMUND. Now that _is_ he, I'm positive. He always knocked like that.
Just fancy. After four years! Jim, just take the chair behind that
screen for a bit. I _must_ hide you.

JAMES. No, thanks! The screen dodge is a trifle _too_ frayed at the
edges.

ROSAMUND. Only for a minute. It would be _such_ fun.

JAMES. No, thanks. [_Another knock._]

ROSAMUND [_with forced sweetness_]. Oh, very well, then....

JAMES. Oh, well, of course, if you take it in that way--[_He proceeds to
a chair behind screen, which does not, however, hide him from the
audience._]

ROSAMUND [_smiles his reward_]. I'll explain it all right. [_Loudly._]
Come in! [_Enter Gerald O'Mara._]

GERALD. So you are in! [_Hastens across room to shake hands._]

ROSAMUND. Oh, yes, I am in. Gerald, how are you? I must say you look
tolerably well. [_They sit down._]

GERALD. Oh, I'm pretty fit, thanks. Had the most amazing time in spite
of the climate. And you? Rosie, you haven't changed a little bit. How's
the cookery trade getting along? Are you still showing people how to
concoct French dinners out of old bones and a sardine tin?

ROSAMUND. Certainly. Only I can do it without the bones now. You see,
the science has progressed while you've been stagnating in Cyprus.

GERALD. Stagnating is the word. You wouldn't believe that climate!

ROSAMUND. What! Not had nice weather? What a shame! I thought it was
tremendously sunshiny in Cyprus.

GERALD. Yes, that's just what it is, 97° in the shade when it doesn't
happen to be pouring with malarial rain. We started a little golf club
at Nicosia, and laid out a nine-hole course. But the balls used to melt.
So we had to alter the rules, keep the balls in an ice-box, and take a
fresh one at every hole. Think of that!

ROSAMUND. My poor boy! But I suppose there were compensations? You
referred to "an amazing time."

GERALD. Yes, there were compensations. And that reminds me, I want you
to come out and lunch with me at the Savoy. I've got something awfully
important to ask you. In fact, that's what I've come for.

ROSAMUND. Sorry I can't, Gerald. The fact is, I've got something awfully
important myself just about lunch time.

GERALD. Oh, yours can wait. Look here, I've ordered the lunch. I made
sure you'd come. [_Rosamund shakes her head._] Why can't you? It's not
cooking, is it?

ROSAMUND. Only a goose.

GERALD. What goose?

ROSAMUND. Well--my own, and somebody else's. Listen, Gerald. Had you not
better ask me this awfully important question now? No time like the
present.

GERALD. I can always talk easier, especially on delicate topics, with a
pint of something handy. But if you positively won't come, I'll get it
off my chest now. The fact is, Rosie, I'm in love.

ROSAMUND. With whom?

GERALD. Ah! That's just what I want you to tell me.

ROSAMUND [_suddenly starting_]. Gerald! what is that dreadful thing
sticking out of your pocket, and pointing right at me?

GERALD. That? That's my revolver. Always carry them in Cyprus, you know.
Plenty of sport there.

ROSAMUND [_breathing again_]. Kindly take it out of your pocket and put
it on the table. Then if it does go off it will go off into something
less valuable than a cookery-lecturer.

GERALD [_laughingly obeying her_]. There. If anything happens it will
happen to the screen. Now, Rosie, I'm in love, and I desire that you
should tell me whom I'm in love with. There's a magnificent girl in
Cyprus, daughter of the Superintendent of Police--

ROSAMUND. Name?

GERALD. Evelyn. Age nineteen. I tell you I was absolutely gone on her.

ROSAMUND. Symptoms?

GERALD. Well--er--whenever her name was mentioned I blushed
terrifically. Of course, that was only one symptom.... Then I met a girl
on the home steamer--no father or mother. An orphan, you know, awfully
interesting.

ROSAMUND. Name?

GERALD. Madge. Nice name, isn't it? [_Rosamund nods._] I don't mind
telling you, I was considerably struck by her--still am, in fact.

ROSAMUND. Symptoms?

GERALD. Oh!... Let me see, I never think of her without turning
absolutely pale. I suppose it's what they call "pale with passion."
Notice it?

ROSAMUND [_somewhat coldly_]. It seems to me the situation amounts to
this. There are two girls. One is named Evelyn, and the thought of her
makes you blush. The other is named Madge, and the thought of her makes
you turn pale. You fancy yourself in love, and you wish me to decide for
you whether it is Madge or Evelyn who agitates your breast the more
deeply.

GERALD. That's not exactly the way to put it, Rosie. You take a fellow
up too soon. Of course I must tell you lots more yet. You should hear
Evelyn play the "Moonlight Sonata." It's the most marvelous thing....
And then Madge's eyes! The way that girl can look at a fellow.... I'm
telling you all these things, you know, Rosie, because I've always
looked up to you as an elder sister.

ROSAMUND [_after a pause, during which she gazes into his face_]. I
suppose it was in my character of your elder sister, that you put a
certain question to me four years ago last night?

GERALD [_staggered; pulls himself together for a great resolve; after a
long pause_]. Rosie! I never thought afterwards you'd take it seriously.
I forgot it all. I was only a boy then. [_Speaking quicker and
quicker._] But I see clearly now. I never _could_ withstand you. It's
all rot about Evelyn and Madge. It's you I'm in love with; and I never
guessed it! Rosie!... [_Rushes to her and impetuously flings his arms
around her neck._]

JAMES [_who, during the foregoing scene, has been full of uneasy
gestures; leaping with incredible swiftness from the shelter of the
screen_]. Sir!

ROSAMUND [_pushing Gerald quickly away_]. Gerald!

JAMES. May I inquire, sir, what is the precise significance of this
attitudinising? [_Gerald has scarcely yet abandoned his amorous pose,
but now does so quickly_]. Are we in the middle of a scene from "Romeo
and Juliet," or is this 9:30 A. M. in the nineteenth century? If Miss
Fife had played the "Moonlight Sonata" to you, or looked at you as Madge
does, there might perhaps have been some shadow of an excuse for your
extraordinary and infamous conduct. But since she has performed neither
of these feats of skill, I fail to grasp--I say I fail to grasp--er--

GERALD [_slowly recovering from an amazement which has rendered him
mute_]. Rosie, a man concealed in your apartment! But perhaps it is the
piano-tuner. I am willing to believe the best.

ROSAMUND. Let me introduce Mr. James Brett, my future husband. Jim, this
is Gerald.

JAMES. I have gathered as much. [_The men bow stiffly._]

ROSAMUND [_dreamily_]. Poor, poor Gerald! [_Her tone is full of feeling.
James is evidently deeply affected by it. He walks calmly and steadily
to the table and picks up the revolver._]

GERALD. Sir, that tool is mine.

JAMES. Sir, the fact remains that it is an engine of destruction, and
that I intend to use it. Rosamund, the tone in which you uttered those
three words, "Poor, poor Gerald!" convinces me, a keen observer of
symptoms, that I no longer possess your love. Without your love, life to
me is meaningless. I object to anything meaningless--even a word. I
shall therefore venture to deprive myself of life. Good-by! [_To
Gerald._] Sir, I may see you later. [_Raises the revolver to his
temples._]

ROSAMUND [_appealing to Gerald to interfere_]. Gerald.

GERALD. Mr. Brett, I repeat that that revolver is mine. It would be a
serious breach of good manners if you used it without my consent, a
social solecism of which I believe you, as a friend of Miss Fife's, to
be absolutely incapable. Still, as the instrument happens to be in your
hand, you may use it--but not on yourself. Have the goodness, sir, to
aim at me. I could not permit myself to stand in the way of another's
happiness, as I should do if I continued to exist. At the same time I
have conscientious objections to suicide. You will therefore do me a
service by aiming straight. Above all things, don't hit Miss Fife. I
merely mention it because I perceive that you are unaccustomed to the
use of firearms. [_Folds his arms._]

JAMES. Rosamund, _do_ you love me?

ROSAMUND. My Jim!

JAMES [_deeply moved_]. The possessive pronoun convinces me that you do.
[_Smiling blandly._] Sir, I will grant your most reasonable demand.
[_Aims at Gerald._]

ROSAMUND [_half shrieking_]. I don't love you if you shoot Gerald.

JAMES. But, my dear, this is irrational. He has asked me to shoot him,
and I have as good as promised to do so.

ROSAMUND [_entreating_]. James, in two hours we are to be married....
Think of the complications.

GERALD. Married! To-day! Then I withdraw my request.

JAMES. Yes; perhaps it will be as well. [_Lowers revolver._]

GERALD. I have never yet knowingly asked a friend, even an acquaintance,
to shoot me on his wedding-day, and I will not begin now. Moreover, now
I come to think of it, the revolver wasn't loaded. Mr. Brett, I
inadvertently put you in a ridiculous position. I apologize.

JAMES. I accept the apology. [_The general tension slackens. Both the
men begin to whistle gently, in the effort after unconcern._]

ROSAMUND. Jim, will you oblige me by putting that revolver down
somewhere. I know it isn't loaded; but so many people have been killed
by guns that weren't loaded that I should feel safer.... [_He puts it
down on the table._] Thank you!

JAMES [_picking up letter_]. By the way, here's that letter that came
just now. Aren't you going to open it? The writing seems to me to be
something like Lottie Dickinson's.

ROSAMUND [_taking the letter_]. It isn't Lottie's; it's her sister's.
[_Stares at envelope._] I know what it is. I _know_ what it is. Lottie
is ill, or dead, or something, and can't come and be a witness at the
wedding. I'm sure it's that. Now, if she's dead we can't _be_ married
to-day; it wouldn't be decent. And it's frightfully unlucky to have a
wedding postponed. Oh, but there isn't a black border on the envelope,
so she can't be _dead_. And yet perhaps it was so sudden they hadn't
time to buy mourning stationery! This is the result of your coming here
this morning. I felt sure something would happen. Didn't I tell you so?

JAMES. No, you didn't, my dear. But why don't you open the letter?

ROSAMUND. I am opening it as fast as I can. [_Reads it hurriedly._]
There! I said so! Lottie fell off her bicycle last night, and broke her
ankle--won't be able to stir for a fortnight--in great pain--hopes it
won't _inconvenience_ us!

JAMES. Inconvenience! I must say I regard it as very thoughtless of
Lottie to go bicycling the very night before our wedding. Where did she
fall off?

ROSAMUND. Sloane Street.

JAMES. That makes it positively criminal. She always falls off in Sloane
Street. She makes a regular practice of it. I have noticed it before.

ROSAMUND. Perhaps she did it on purpose.

JAMES. Not a doubt of it!

ROSAMUND. She doesn't want us to get married!

JAMES. I have sometimes suspected that she had a certain tenderness for
me. [_Endeavoring to look meek._]

ROSAMUND. The cat!

JAMES. By no means. Cats are never sympathetic. She is. Let us be just
before we are jealous.

ROSAMUND. Jealous! My dear James! Have you noticed how her skirts hang?

JAMES. Hang her skirts!

ROSAMUND. You wish to defend her?

JAMES. On the contrary; it was I who first accused her. [_Gerald, to
avoid the approaching storm, seeks the shelter of the screen, sits down,
and taking some paper from his pocket begins thoughtfully to write._]

ROSAMUND. My dear James, let me advise you to keep quite, quite calm.
You are a little bit upset.

JAMES. I am a perfect cucumber. But I can hear you breathing.

ROSAMUND. If you are a cucumber, you are a very indelicate cucumber. I'm
not breathing more than is necessary to sustain life.

JAMES. Yes, you are; and what's more you'll cry in a minute if you don't
take care. You're getting worked up.

ROSAMUND. No, I shan't. [_Sits down and cries._]

JAMES. What did I tell you? Now perhaps you will inform me what we are
quarreling about, because I haven't the least idea.

ROSAMUND [_through her sobs_]. I do think it's horrid of Lottie. We
can't be married with one witness. And I didn't want to be married at a
registry office at all.

JAMES. My pet, we can easily get another witness. As for the registry
office, it was yourself who proposed it, as a way out of a difficulty.
I'm High and you're Low--

ROSAMUND. I'm not Low; I'm Broad, or else Evangelical.

JAMES [_beginning calmly again_]. I'm High and you're Broad, and there
was a serious question about candles and a genuflexion, and so we
decided on the registry office, which, after all, is much cheaper.

ROSAMUND [_drying her tears, and putting on a saintly expression_].
Well, anyhow, James, we will consider our engagement at an end.

JAMES. This extraordinary tiff has lasted long enough, Rosie. Come and
be kissed.

ROSAMUND [_with increased saintliness_]. You mistake me, James. I am not
quarreling. I am not angry.

JAMES. Then you have ceased to love me?

ROSAMUND. I adore you passionately. But we can never marry. Do you not
perceive the warnings against such a course? First of all you come
here--drawn by some mysterious, sinister impulse--in breach of all
etiquette. That was a Sign.

JAMES. A sign of what?

ROSAMUND. Evil. Then you find that postcard, to remind me of a forgotten
episode.

JAMES. Damn the postcard! I wish I'd never picked it up.

ROSAMUND. Hush! Then comes this letter about Lottie.

JAMES. Damn that, too!

ROSAMUND [_sighs_]. Then Gerald arrives.

JAMES. Damn him, too! By the way, where is he?

GERALD [_coming out from behind the screen_]. Sir, if you want to
influence my future state by means of a blasphemous expletive, let me
beg you to do it when ladies are not present. There are certain prayers
which should only be uttered in the smoking-room. [_The two men stab
each other with their eyes._]

JAMES. I respectfully maintain, Mr. O'Mara, that you had no business to
call on my future wife within three hours of her wedding, and throw her
into such a condition of alarm and unrest that she doesn't know whether
she is going to get married or not.

GERALD. Sir! How in the name of Heaven was I to guess--

ROSAMUND [_rising, with an imperative gesture_]. Stop! Sit down, both.
James [_who hesitates_], this is the last request I shall ever make of
you. [_He sits_]. Let me speak. Long ago, from a mistaken motive of
kindness, I gave this poor boy [_pointing to Gerald_] to understand that
I loved him; that any rate I should love him in time. Supported by that
assurance, he existed for four years through the climatic terrors of a
distant isle. I, pampered with all the superfluities of civilization,
forgot this noble youth in his exile. I fell selfishly in love. I
promised to marry ... while he, with nothing to assuage the rigors--

JAMES. Pardon me, there was Evelyn's "Moonlight Sonata," not to mention
Madge's eyes.

ROSAMUND. You jest, James, but the jest is untimely. Has he not himself
said that these doubtless excellent young women were in fact nothing to
him, that it was _my_ image which he kept steadfastly in his heart?

GERALD. Ye--es, of course, Rosie.

ROSAMUND [_chiefly to James_]. The sight of this poor youth fills me
with sorrow and compunction and shame. For it reminds me that four years
ago I lied to him.

GERALD. It was awfully good of you, you know.

ROSAMUND. That is beside the point. At an earlier period of this unhappy
morning, James, you asseverated that you could not dream of getting
married with a lie on your lips. Neither can I. James, I love you to
madness. [_Takes his inert hand, shakes it, and drops it again._]
Good-by, James! Henceforth we shall be strangers. My duty is towards
Gerald.

GERALD. But if you love _him_?

ROSAMUND. With a good woman, conscience comes first, love second. In
time I shall learn to love _you_. I was always quick at lessons. Gerald,
take me. It is the only way by which I can purge my lips of the lie
uttered four years ago. [_Puts her hands on Gerald's shoulders._]

JAMES. In about three-quarters of an hour you will regret this, Rosamund
Fife.

ROSAMUND. One never regrets a good action.

GERALD. Oh! well! I say.... [_inarticulate with embarrassment_].

ROSAMUND [_after a pause_]. James, we are waiting.

JAMES. What for?

ROSAMUND. For you to go.

JAMES. Don't mind me. You forget that I am in the War Office, and
accustomed to surprising situations.

GERALD. Look here, Rosie. It's awfully good of you, and you're doing me
a frightfully kind turn; but I can't accept it, you know. It wouldn't
do. Kindness spoils my character.

JAMES. Yes, and think of the shock to the noble youth.

GERALD. I couldn't permit such a sacrifice.

ROSAMUND. To a good woman life should be one long sacrifice.

GERALD. Yes, that's all very well, and I tell you, Rosie, I'm awfully
obliged to you. Of course I'm desperately in love with you. That goes
without saying. But I also must sacrifice myself. The fact is ...
there's Madge....

ROSAMUND. Well?

GERALD. Well, you know what a place a steamer is, especially in calm,
warm weather. I'm afraid I've rather led her to expect.... The fact is,
while you and Mr. Brett were having your little discussion just now, I
employed the time in scribbling out a bit of a letter to her, and I
rather fancy that I've struck one or two deuced good ideas in the
proposal line. How's this for a novelty: "My dear Miss Madge, you cannot
fail to have noticed from my behavior in your presence that I admire you
tremendously?" Rather a neat beginning, eh?

ROSAMUND. But you said you loved me.

GERALD. Oh, well, so I do. You see I only state that I "admire" her. All
the same I feel I'm sort of bound to her, ... you see how I'm fixed. I
should much prefer, of course....

JAMES. To a good man life should be one long sacrifice.

GERALD. Exactly, sir.

ROSAMUND [_steadying herself and approaching James_]. Jim, my sacrifice
is over. It was a terrible ordeal, and nothing but a strict sense of
duty could have supported me through such a trying crisis. I am yours.
Lead me to the altar. I trust Gerald may be happy with this person named
Madge.

JAMES. The flame of your love has not faltered?

ROSAMUND. Ah, no!

JAMES. Well, if my own particular flame hadn't been fairly robust, the
recent draughts might have knocked it about a bit. You have no more
sacrifices in immediate view?... [_She looks at him in a certain
marvelous way, and he suddenly swoops down and kisses her._] To the
altar! March! Dash; we shall want another witness.

GERALD. Couldn't I serve?

ROSAMUND. You're sure it wouldn't be too much for your feelings?

GERALD. I should enjoy it.... I mean I shan't mind very much. Let us
therefore start. If we're too soon you can watch the process at work on
others, and learn how to comport yourselves. By the way, honeymoon?

JAMES. Paris. Charing Cross 1:30. Dine at Dover.

GERALD. Then you shall eat that lunch I have ordered at the Savoy.

ROSAMUND. Er--talking of lunch, as I'm hostess here, perhaps I should
ask you men if you'd like a drink.

JAMES AND GERALD [_looking hopefully at each other_]. Well, yes.

ROSAMUND. I have some beautiful lemonade.

JAMES AND GERALD [_still looking at each other, but with a different
expression_]. Oh, that will be delightful! [_Lemonade and glasses
produced._]

GERALD. I drink to the happy pair.

ROSAMUND [_a little sinister_]. And I--to Madge.

JAMES. And I--to a good woman--Mrs. Pet [_looking at her fixedly_]. All
men like a good woman, but she shouldn't be too good--it's a strain on
the system. [_General consumption of lemonade, the men bravely
swallowing it down, Rosamund rests her head on James's shoulder._]

ROSAMUND. It occurs to me, Gerald, you only ordered lunch for two at the
Savoy.

GERALD. Well, that's right. By that time you and James, if I may call
him so, will be one, and me makes two.


  [_Curtain._]




THE LITTLE STONE HOUSE

  A PLAY

  BY GEORGE CALDERON


  Copyright, 1913, by Sidgwick & Jackson, Ltd.
  All rights reserved.


  THE LITTLE STONE HOUSE is founded on a story by the same author,
  published anonymously some years ago in _Temple Bar_.

  The agents for amateur rights in this play are Messrs. Samuel
  French, 28 West 38th Street, New York, and Joseph Williams, Ltd.,
  32 Great Portland Street, London, from whom a license to play it
  in public must be obtained.

  It was first performed for the Stage Society at the Aldwych
  Theatre, London, January 29, 1911, with the following cast:

    PRASKÓVYA, _a lodging-house keeper_      _Mrs. Saba Raleigh_
    VARVÁRA, _her servant_                   _Miss Eily Malyon_
    ASTÉRYI, _a lodger_                      _Mr. Franklin Dyall_
    FOMÁ, _a lodger_                         _Mr. Stephen T. Ewart_
    SPIRIDÓN, _a stonemason_                 _Mr. Leon M. Lion_
    A STRANGER                               _Mr. O. P. Heggie_
    A CORPORAL                               _Mr. E. Cresfan_

  Produced by MR. KENELM FOSS.

  SCENE: _Small provincial town in Russia._


  Reprinted by permission of, and special arrangement with, Messrs.
  Sidgwick and Jackson, Ltd., publishers of the English edition.



THE LITTLE STONE HOUSE

A PLAY BY GEORGE CALDERON


    [_Praskóvya's sitting-room. Street door in porch and a curtainless
    window at the back. It is night; the light of an oil-lamp in the
    street dimly shows snow-covered houses and falling snow. The room
    is plainly furnished: a bed, a curtain on a cord, some books,
    eikons on a shelf in the corner with a wick in a red glass bowl
    burning before them, paper flowers, and Easter eggs on strings. A
    photograph of a man of twenty hangs by the eikons. There are doors
    to kitchen and to the lodgers' rooms._

    _Varvára is discovered sitting by a lamp darning stockings._

    _There is an atmosphere of silence, solitude, and Russian
    monotony. The clock ticks. A man is seen passing in the street;
    his feet make no sound on the snowy ground. There is the sound of
    a concertina and a man who laughs in the distance out of doors.
    Then silence again._

    _Enter Astéryi, stout and lazy; gray hair thrown untidily back, a
    rough beard. He is in slippers and dirty dressing-gown, with a big
    case full of Russian cigarettes in his pocket._]


AST. Is Praskóvya Petróvna not at home?

VAR. [_rising_]. She is not at home, Astéryi Ivanovitch. She has gone to
Vespers at St. Pantaléimon's in the Marsh. It is the festival of the
translation of St. Pantaléimon's relics. [_Varvára sits again. Astéryi
walks to and fro smoking a cigarette._] Will you not have your game of
patience as usual?

AST. Without Praskóvya Petróvna?

VAR. She would be sorry if you missed your game because she was late.
You can play again when she returns; she likes to watch you.

AST. Very well.

    [_Varvára gets a pack of cards. Astéryi sits at a table at one
    side and plays._]

VAR. Shall I prepare the samovar?

AST. Not yet; I will wait. How greasy these cards are [_laying out a
patience_].

VAR. No wonder, Astéryi Ivanovitch. It is two years since you bought
this pack.

A VOICE [_without_]. Varvára! Varvára! There is no water in my jug.

AST. There is one of the lodgers calling you.

VAR. It is the schoolmaster.

AST. Better not keep him waiting; he is an angry man.

VAR. I will go. Excuse me, please.

    [_Exit Varvára. The clock ticks again. Astéryi pauses and
    meditates, then murmurs, "Oh, Hóspodi!" as if in surprise at being
    so terribly bored. The concertina plays a few notes. A knock at
    the street door._]

AST. Who's there? Come in, come in!

    [_Enter Spiridón, a man with a cringing, crafty manner, in a
    sheepskin coat with snow on it. He stands by the door, facing the
    eikon, crossing himself with large gestures and bowing very low
    towards it._]

SPIR. [_looking round_]. Good-day, sir, good-day. [_Crossing himself
again._] May the holy saints preserve all in this house.

AST. Ah! it's you, Spiridón?

SPIR. Yes, sir. It is Spiridón the stonemason.

AST. What brings you here, Spiridón?

SPIR. Is Praskóvya Petróvna not at home?

AST. No, she has gone to Vespers at St. Pantaléimon's in the Marsh.

SPIR. The service is late to-night.

AST. Yes.... You are a hard man, Spiridón.

SPIR. Me, sir!

AST. And you lose money by your hardness. Praskóvya Petróvna is a poor
woman. For years she has been saving up money to build a stone house
over the grave of her son in the Tróitski Cemetery. You say that you
will build it for 500 roubles, but you ask too much. By starving herself
and pinching in every way she has saved up 400 roubles at last, and if
you were a wise man you would accept it. For see, she is old; if she
starve herself to save up another 100 roubles she will be dead before
she has got it; her money will be sent back to her village or it will go
into the pocket of some official, and you will not have the tomb-house
to build at all.

SPIR. I have thought of all these things, Astéryi Ivanovitch, since you
last spoke to me about it. And I said to myself: Astéryi Ivanovitch is
perhaps right; it is not only Praskóvya Petróvna who is old; I myself am
old also, and may die before she has saved up money enough. But it is
very hard to work and be underpaid. Good Valdai stone is expensive and
hard to cut, and workmen nowadays ask for unholy wages. Still, I said to
myself, a tomb-house for her son--it is a God-fearing work: and I have
resolved to make the sacrifice. I have come to tell her I will consent
to build it for 400 roubles.

AST. You have done rightly. You are an honest man, and God and St.
Nicholas will perhaps save your soul.

    [_Enter Fomá in cap and great-coat from the door to the lodgers'
    rooms._]

FOMÁ. Good-evening, Astéryi Ivanovitch. Is Praskóvya not at home?

AST. No, she is at Vespers.

FOMÁ. I come in and find my stove smoking. [_Taking of his coat._] I
wished to ask her permission to sit here awhile to escape a headache.
Who is this? Ah, Spiridón. And by what miracle does Astéryi Ivanovitch
hope that God and St. Nicholas will save your soul?

AST. He has consented to build Praskóvya Petróvna the tomb-house over
Sasha's grave for 400 roubles instead of 500.

FOMÁ. That is good! She will be glad to hear the news, and shake hands
on the bargain, and christen the earnest-money with vodka.

SPIR. The earnest-money? Ah no, sir, there can be no earnest-money. The
whole sum of money must be paid at once. I am a poor man. I must pay the
quarryman for the stone; my workmen cannot live on air.

AST. If she has the money she will pay you.

FOMÁ. Well, if there is to be no earnest-money, at least we will have
the vodka. Vodka is always good.

AST. [_to Spiridón_]. Sit down and wait till she returns. She will not
be long.

SPIR. No, no; I will come again in an hour. I have to go to my
brother-in-law two streets away. [_Crossing himself before the eikons._]
I will come again as I return.

    [_The tap of drums in the street._]

AST. Why are they beating drums?

FOMÁ. It is a patrol passing.

SPIR. The soldiers are very watchful to-day.

FOMÁ. It is because the Empress comes this way to-morrow on her journey
to Smolensk.

SPIR. They have arrested many suspicious people. All those who have no
passports are being sent away to Siberia.

FOMÁ. Ah! poor creatures! [_A patrol of soldiers passes the window
quietly_].

SPIR. Why should you say "poor creatures"? If they were honest men they
would not be without passports. Good-evening.

FOMÁ. Wait till they have gone.

SPIR. We honest men have nothing to fear from them. Good-evening. I will
return again in an hour. [_Exit Spiridón._]

FOMÁ. How glad Praskóvya will be.

AST. Say nothing of this to any one. We will keep it as a surprise.

    [_Enter Varvára._]

FOMÁ. Varvára, my pretty child, fetch the bottle of vodka from my room.

VAR. Vodka in here? Praskóvya Petróvna will be angry.

FOMÁ. No, she will not be angry; she will be glad. [_Exit Varvára._] Do
you play patience here every night?

AST. Every night for more than twenty years.

FOMÁ. What is it called?

AST. It is called the Wolf!

FOMÁ. Does it ever come out?

AST. It has come out twice. The first time I found a purse in the street
which somebody had lost. The second time the man above me at the office
died, and I got his place.

FOMÁ. It brings good luck then?

AST. To me at least.

FOMÁ. How glad Praskóvya Petróvna will be!

    [_Enter Varvára with vodka bottle, which she sets on a table; no
    one drinks from it yet._]

VAR. Do you not want to drink tea?

FOMÁ. Very much, you rogue.

VAR. Then I will set the samovar for both of you in here. [_She gets out
tumblers, lemon and sugar._]

AST. I did wrong in moving the seven.

FOMÁ. Put it back then.

AST. It is too late. Once it has been moved, it must not be put back.

    [_Enter Praskóvya from the street hurriedly with a lantern._]

PRAS. [_crossing herself_]. Hóspodi Bózhe moy!

VAR. [_running to her, frightened_]. Have you seen him again?

PRAS. [_agitated_]. I do not know. There seemed to be men standing
everywhere in the shadows.... Good-evening, Fomá Ilyitch, good-evening,
Astéryi Ivanovitch.

    [_Varvára goes out, and brings in the samovar._]

FOMÁ. I have been making myself at home; my stove smoked.

PRAS. Sit down, sit down! What ceremony! Why should you not be here? And
vodka too? What is the vodka for?

AST. I will tell you when I have finished my patience. [_They all drink
tea._]

PRAS. So you are playing already.

AST. If it comes out, the good luck that it brings shall be for you!

PRAS. For me? [_They all watch Astéryi playing._] The knave goes on the
queen. [_A pause._]

FOMÁ. That is unfortunate.

VAR. You should not have moved the ten. [_A pause._]

AST. That will be better. [_A pause._]

PRAS. How brightly the eikon lamp burns before the portrait of my boy.

VAR. It does indeed.

PRAS. It is the new fire from the Candlemas taper.

FOMÁ. It is the new oil that makes it burn brightly.

PRAS. [_crossing herself_]. Nonsense! it is the new fire.

FOMÁ. Did ever one hear such stuff? She put out the lamp at Candlemas,
and lighted it anew from the taper which she brought home from the
midnight service, from the new fire struck by the priest with flint and
steel; and now she thinks that is the reason why it burns so brightly.

VAR. Is that not so then, Astéryi Ivanovitch?

AST. Oh, Fomá Ilyitch is a chemist; he can tell you what fire is made
of.

FOMÁ. So you have been all the way to St. Pantaléimon's in the Marsh?
Oh, piety, thy name is Praskóvya Petróvna! Not a person can hold the
most miserably little service in the remotest corner of the town but you
smell it out and go to it.

VAR. It is a Christian deed, Fomá Ilyitch.

AST. Now I can get at the ace.

VAR. [_to Praskóvya_]. I must get your supper. [_She gets a plate of
meat from a cupboard._]

FOMÁ. And on All Souls' Day she brought home holy water in a bottle and
sprinkled the rooms of all the lodgers. The schoolmaster was very angry.
You spotted the cover of his Greek Lexicon. He says it is a pagan
custom, come down to us from the ancient Scythians.

PRAS. I do not like to hear jokes about sacred things. One may provoke
Heaven to anger.

AST. Now I get all this row off.

FOMÁ. You are always afraid of offending Heaven.

PRAS. Of course I am. Think what I have at stake. For you it is only a
little thing. You have a life of your own on earth; I have none. I have
been as good as dead for twenty years, and the only thing that I desire
is to get safely to heaven to join my son who is there.

FOMÁ. We all wish to get to heaven.

PRAS. Not so much as I do. If I were in hell it is not the brimstone
that would matter; it would be to know that I should not see my son.
[_Fomá nods_].

AST. I believe it is coming out.

    [_They all concentrate their attention eagerly on the patience._]

VAR. The six and the seven go. Saints preserve us! and the eight. [_She
takes up a card to move it._]

AST. No, not that one; leave that.

VAR. Where did it come from?

AST. From here.

PRAS. No, from there.

VAR. It was from here.

AST. It is all the same.

FOMÁ. It will go.

PRAS. And the knave from off this row.

VAR. The Wolf is going out!

PRAS. It is seven years since it went out.

FOMÁ. Seven years?

AST. It is out!

PRAS. It is done!

VAR. [_clapping her hands_]. Hooray!

AST. [_elated_]. Some great good fortune is going to happen.

VAR. What can it be? [_A pause._]

PRAS. And what is the vodka for?

AST. The vodka?

PRAS. You promised to tell me when the patience was done.

AST. How much money have you saved up for the house on Sasha's tomb?

PRAS. Four hundred and six roubles and a few kopecks.

AST. And Spiridón asks for 500 roubles?

PRAS. Five hundred roubles.

AST. What if he should lower his price?

PRAS. He will not lower his price.

AST. What if he should say that he would take 450 roubles?

PRAS. Why, if I went without food for a year.... [_Laughing at
herself._] If one could but live without food!

AST. What if he should say that he would take 420 roubles?

PRAS. Astéryi Ivanovitch, you know the proverb--the elbow is near, but
you cannot bite it. I am old and feeble. I want it now, now, now. Shall
I outlive the bitter winter? A shelter to sit in and talk to my son. A
monument worthy of such a saint.

AST. Spiridón has been here.

PRAS. Spiridón has been here? What did he say? Tell me!

AST. He will build it for 400 roubles.

VAR. For 400 roubles!

AST. He will return soon to strike a bargain.

PRAS. Is it true?

AST. As true as that I wear the cross.

PRAS. Oh, all the holy saints be praised! Sláva Tebyé Hóspodi!
[_Kneeling before the eikons._] Oh, my darling Sasha, we will meet in a
fine house, you and I, face to face. [_She prostrates herself three
times before the eikons._]

VAR. Then this is the good luck.

AST. No, this cannot be what the cards told us; for this had happened
already before the Wolf came out.

VAR. Then there is something else to follow?

AST. Evidently.

VAR. What can it be?

AST. To-morrow perhaps we shall know.

PRAS. [_rising_]. And in a month I shall have my tomb-house finished,
for which I have been waiting twenty years! A little stone house safe
against the rain. [_Smiling and eager._] There will be a tile stove
which I can light: in the middle a stone table and two chairs--one for
me and one for my boy when he comes and sits with me, and....

VAR. [_at the window, shrieking_]. Ah! Heaven defend us!

PRAS. What is it?

VAR. The face! the face!

PRAS. The face again?

FOMÁ. What face?

VAR. The face looked in at the window!

AST. Whose face?

VAR. It is the man that we have seen watching us in the cemetery.

PRAS. [_crossing herself_]. Oh, Heaven preserve me from this man!

FOMÁ. [_opening the street door_]. There is nobody there.

AST. This is a false alarm.

FOMÁ. People who tire their eyes by staring at window-panes at night
often see faces looking in through them.

PRAS. Oh, Hóspodi!

AST. Spiridón will be returning soon. Have you the money ready?

PRAS. The money? Yes, yes! I will get it ready. It is not here. Come,
Varvára. [_They put on coats and shawls._]

AST. If it is in the bank we must wait till the daytime.

PRAS. My money in the bank? I am not so foolish. [_She lights the
lantern._] Get the spade, Varvára. [_Varvára goes out and fetches a
spade._] It is buried in the field, in a place that no one knows but
myself.

AST. Are you not afraid to go out?

PRAS. Afraid? No, I am not afraid.

FOMÁ. But your supper--you have not eaten your supper.

PRAS. How can I think of supper at such a moment?

FOMÁ. No supper? Oh, what a wonderful thing is a mother's love!

PRAS. [_to Astéryi and Fomá_]. Stay here till we return.

VAR. [_drawing back_]. I am afraid, Praskóvya Petróvna.

PRAS. Nonsense, there is nothing to fear.

FOMÁ. [_throwing his coat over his back_]. I will go with you to the
corner of the street.

AST. [_shuffling the cards_]. I must try one for myself.

FOMÁ. [_mockingly_]. What's the use? It will never come out.

AST. [_cheerfully_]. Oh, it never does to be discouraged.

    [_Exeunt Praskóvya, Varvára, and Fomá. Astéryi plays patience.
    Everything is silent and monotonous again. The clock ticks._]

FOMÁ. [_reënters, dancing and singing roguishly to the tune of the
Russian folksong, "Vo sadú li v vogoróde"_]:

  In the shade there walked a maid
    As fair as any flower,
  Picking posies all of roses
    For to deck her bower.

AST. Don't make such a noise.

FOMÁ. I can't help it. I'm gay. I have a sympathetic soul. I rejoice
with Praskóvya Petróvna. I think she is mad, but I rejoice with her.

AST. So do I; but I don't disturb others on that account.

FOMÁ. Come, old grumbler, have a mouthful of vodka.
[_Melodramatically._] A glass of wine with Cæsar Borgia! [_Singing._]

  As she went adown the bent
    She met a merry fellow,
  He was drest in all his best
    In red and blue and yellow.

So he was a saint, was he, that son of hers? Well, well, of what
advantage is that? Saints are not so easy to love as sinners. You and I
are not saints, are we, Astéryi Ivanovitch?

AST. I do not care to parade my halo in public.

FOMÁ. Oh, as for me, I keep mine in a box under the bed; it only
frightens people. Do you think he would have remained a saint all this
time if he had lived?

AST. Who can say?

FOMÁ. Nonsense! He would have become like the rest of us. Then why make
all this fuss about him? Why go on for twenty years sacrificing her own
life to a fantastic image?

AST. Why not, if it please her to do so?

FOMÁ. Say what you please, but all the same she is mad; yes, Praskóvya
is mad.

AST. We call every one mad who is faithful to their ideas. If people
think only of food and money and clothing we call them sane, but if they
have ideas beyond those things we call them mad. I envy Praskóvya.
Praskóvya has preserved in her old age what I myself have lost. I, too,
had ideas once, but I have been unfaithful to them; they have evaporated
and vanished.

FOMÁ. What ideas were these?

AST. Liberty! Political regeneration!

FOMÁ. Ah, yes; you were a sad revolutionary once, I have been told.

AST. I worshiped Liberty, as Praskóvya worships her Sasha. But I have
lived my ideals down in the dull routine of my foolish, aimless life as
an office hack, a clerk in the District Council, making copies that no
one will ever see of documents that no one ever wants to read....
Suddenly there comes the Revolution; there is fighting in the streets;
men raise the red flag; blood flows. I might go forth and strike a blow
for that Liberty which I loved twenty years ago. But no, I have become
indifferent. I do not care who wins, the Government or the
Revolutionaries; it is all the same to me.

FOMÁ. You are afraid. One gets timid as one gets older.

AST. Afraid? No. What have I to be afraid of? Death is surely not so
much worse than life? No, it is because my idea is dead and cannot be
made to live again, while Praskóvya, whose routine as a lodging-house
keeper is a hundred times duller than mine, is still faithful to her old
idea. Let us not call her mad; let us rather worship her as something
holy, for her fidelity to an idea in this wretched little town where
ideas are as rare as white ravens.

FOMÁ. She has no friends to love?

AST. She has never had any friends; she needed none.

FOMÁ. She has relatives, I suppose?

AST. None.

FOMÁ. What mystery explains this solitude?

AST. If there is a mystery it is easily guessed. It is an everyday
story; the story of a peasant woman betrayed and deserted by a nobleman.
She came with her child to this town; and instead of sinking, set
herself bravely to work, to win a living for the two of them. She was
young and strong then; her work prospered with her.

FOMÁ. And her son was worthy of her love?

AST. He was a fine boy--handsome and intelligent. By dint of the
fiercest economy she got him a nobleman's education; sent him to the
Gymnase, and thence, when he was eighteen, to the University of Moscow.
Praskóvya herself cannot read or write, but her boy ... the books on
that shelf are the prizes which he won. She thought him a pattern of all
the virtues.

FOMÁ. Aha! now we're coming to it! So he was a sinner after all?

AST. We are none of us perfect. His friends were ill-chosen. The
hard-earned money that Praskóvya thought was spent on University
expenses went on many other things--on drink, on women, and on gambling.
But he did one good thing--he hid it all safely from his mother. I
helped him in that. Together we kept her idea safe through a difficult
period. And before he was twenty it was all over--he was dead.

FOMÁ. Yes, he was murdered by some foreigner, I know.

AST. By Adámek, a Pole.

FOMÁ. And what was the motive of the crime?

AST. It was for money. By inquiries which I made after the trial I
ascertained that this Adámek was a bad character and an adventurer, who
used to entice students to his rooms to drink and gamble with him. Sasha
had become an intimate friend of his; and it was even said that they
were partners in cheating the rest. Anyhow, there is no doubt that at
one time or another they had won considerable sums at cards, and
disputed as to the ownership of them. The last thing that was heard of
them, they bought a sledge with two horses and set out saying they were
going to Tula. On the road Adámek murdered the unfortunate boy. The
facts were all clear and indisputable. There was no need to search into
the motives. The murderer fell straight into the hands of the police.
The District Inspector, coming silently along the road in his sledge,
suddenly saw before him the boy lying dead by the roadside, and the
murderer standing over him with the knife in his hand. He arrested him
at once; there was no possibility of denying it.

FOMÁ. And it was quite clear that his victim was Sasha?

AST. Quite clear. Adámek gave intimate details about him, such as only a
friend of his could have known, which put his identity beyond a doubt.
When the trial was over the body was sent in a coffin to Praskóvya
Petróvna, who buried it here in the Tróitski Cemetery.

FOMÁ. And the Pole?

AST. He was sent to penal servitude for life to the silver mines of
Siberia.

FOMÁ. So Praskóvya is even madder than I thought. Her religion is
founded on a myth. Her life is an absurd deception.

AST. No; she has created something out of nothing; that is all.

FOMÁ. In your place I should have told her the truth.

AST. No.

FOMÁ. Anything is better than a lie.

AST. There is no lie in it. Praskóvya's idea and Sasha's life are two
independent things. A statement of fact may be true or false; but an
idea need only be clear and definite. That is all that matters. [_There
is a tapping at the door; the latch is lifted, and the Stranger peeps
in._] Come in, come in!

    [_Enter the Stranger, ragged and degraded. He looks about the
    room, dazed by the light, and fixes his attention on Astéryi._]

Who are you? What do you want?

STRANGER. I came to speak to you.

AST. To speak to me?

FOMÁ. Take off your cap. Do you not see the eikons?

AST. What do you want with me?

STRANGER. Only a word, Astéryi Ivanovitch.

AST. How have you learnt my name?

FOMÁ. Do you know the man?

AST. No.

STRANGER. You do not know me?

AST. No.

STRANGER. Have you forgotten me, Astéryi Ivanovitch?

AST. [_almost speechless_]. Sasha!

FOMÁ. What is it? You look as if you had seen a ghost.

AST. A ghost? There are no such things as ghosts. Would that it were a
ghost. It is Sasha.

FOMÁ. Sasha?

AST. It is Praskóvya's son alive.

FOMÁ. Praskóvya's son?

SASHA. You remember me now, Astéryi Ivanovitch.

AST. How have you risen from the dead? How have you come back from the
grave--you who were dead and buried these twenty years and more?

SASHA. I have not risen from the dead. I have not come back from the
grave; but I have come a long, long journey.

AST. From where?

SASHA. From Siberia.

FOMÁ. From Siberia?

SASHA. From Siberia.

AST. What were you doing in Siberia?

SASHA. Do you not understand, Astéryi Ivanovitch? I am a criminal.

AST. Ah!

SASHA. A convict, a felon. I have escaped and come home.

AST. Of what crime have you been guilty?

SASHA. Do not ask me so many questions, but give me something to eat.

AST. But tell me this....

SASHA. There is food here. I smelt it as I came in. [_He eats the meat
with his fingers ravenously, like a wild beast._]

FOMÁ. It is your mother's supper.

SASHA. I do not care whose supper it is. I am ravenous. I have had
nothing to eat all day.

FOMÁ. Can this wild beast be Praskóvya's son?

SASHA. We are all wild beasts if we are kept from food. Ha! and vodka,
too! [_helping himself_].

AST. Are you a convict, a felon, Sasha? You who were dead? Then we have
been deceived for many years.

SASHA. Have you?

AST. Some other man was murdered twenty years ago. The murderer said
that it was you.

SASHA. Ah, he said that it was me, did he?

AST. Why did Adámek say that it was you?

SASHA. Can you not guess? Adámek murdered no one.

AST. He murdered no one? But he was condemned.

SASHA. He was never condemned.

AST. Never condemned? Then what became of him?

SASHA. He died.... Do you not understand? It was I who killed Adámek.

AST. You!

SASHA. We had quarreled. We were alone in a solitary place. I killed him
and stood looking down at him with the knife in my hand dripping scarlet
in the snow, frightened at the sudden silence and what I had done. And
while I thought I was alone, I turned and saw the police-officer with
his revolver leveled at my head. Then amid the confusion and black
horror that seized on me, a bright thought shot across my mind. Adámek
had no relatives, no friends; he was an outcast. Stained with his
flowing blood, I exchanged names with him; that's the old heroic custom
of blood-brotherhood, you know. I named myself Adámek; I named my victim
Sasha. Ingenious, wasn't it? I had romantic ideas in those days. Adámek
has been cursed for a murderer, and my memory has been honored.
Alexander Petróvitch has been a hero; my mother has wept for me. I have
seen her in the graveyard lamenting on my tomb; I have read my name on
the cross. I hardly know whether to laugh or to cry. Evidently she loves
me still.

AST. And you?

SASHA. Do I love her? No. There is no question of that. She is part of a
life that was ended too long ago. I have only myself to think of now.
What should I gain by loving her? Understand, I am an outlaw, an escaped
convict; a word can send me back to the mines. I must hide myself, the
patrols are everywhere.... Even here I am not safe. [_Locks the street
door._]

AST. Why have you returned? Why have you spoilt what you began so well?
Having resolved twenty years ago to vanish like a dead man....

SASHA. Ah! if they had killed me then I would have died willingly. But
after twenty years remorse goes, pity goes, everything goes; entombed in
the mines, but still alive.... I was worn out. I could bear it no
longer. Others were escaping, I escaped with them.

AST. This will break her heart. She has made an angel of you. The lamp
is always burning....

SASHA [_going to the eikon corner with a glass of vodka in his hand_].
Aha! Alexander Nevski, my patron saint. I drink to you, my friend: but I
cannot congratulate you on your work. As a guardian angel you have been
something of a failure. And what is this? [_taking a photograph_].
Myself! Who would have known this for my portrait? Look at the angel
child, with the soft cheeks and the pretty curly hair. How innocent and
good I looked! [_bringing it down_]. And even then I was deceiving my
mother. She never understood that a young man must live, he must live.
We are animals first; we have instincts that need something warmer,
something livelier, than the tame dull round of home. [_He throws down
the photograph; Fomá replaces it._] And even now I have no intention of
dying. Yet how am I to live? I cannot work; the mines have sucked out
all my strength. Has my mother any money?

AST. [_to Fomá_]. What can we do with him?

SASHA. Has my mother any money?

AST. Money? Of course not. Would she let lodgings if she had? Listen. I
am a poor man myself, but I will give you ten roubles and your railway
fare to go to St. Petersburg.

SASHA. St. Petersburg? And what shall I do there when I have spent the
ten roubles?

AST. [_shrugging his shoulders_]. How do I know? Live there, die there,
only stay away from here.

FOMÁ. What right have you to send him away? Why do you suppose that she
will not be glad to see him? Let her see her saint bedraggled, and love
him still--that is what true love means. You have regaled her with lies
all these years; but now it is no longer possible. [_A knocking at the
door._] She is at the door.

AST. [_to Sasha_]. Come with me. [_To Fomá._] He must go out by the
other way.

FOMÁ [_stopping them_]. No, I forbid it. It is the hand of God that has
led him here. Go and unlock the door. [_Astéryi shrugs his shoulders,
and goes to unlock the door._] [_To Sasha, hiding him._] Stand here a
moment till I have prepared your mother.

    [_Enter Praskóvya and Varvára, carrying a box._]

PRAS. Why is the door locked? Were you afraid without old Praskóvya to
protect you? Here is the money. Now let me count it. Have you two been
quarreling? There are fifty roubles in this bag, all in little pieces of
silver; it took me two years.

FOMÁ. How you must have denied yourself, Praskóvya, and all to build a
hut in a churchyard!

PRAS. On what better thing could money be spent?

FOMÁ. You are so much in love with your tomb-house, I believe that you
would be sorry if it turned out that your son was not dead, but alive.

PRAS. Why do you say such things? You know that I should be glad. Ah! if
I could but see him once again as he was then, and hold him in my arms!

FOMÁ. But he would not be the same now.

PRAS. If he were different, he would not be my son.

FOMÁ. What if all these years he had been an outcast, living in
degradation?

PRAS. Who has been eating here? Who has been drinking here? Something
has happened! Tell me what it is.

AST. Your son is not dead.

PRAS. Not dead? Why do you say it so sadly? No, it is not true. I do
not believe it. How can I be joyful at the news if you tell it so sadly?
If he is alive, where is he? Let me see him.

AST. He is here.

    [_Sasha comes forward._]

PRAS. No, no! Tell me that that is not him ... my son whom I have loved
all these years, my son that lies in the churchyard. [_To Sasha._] Don't
be cruel to me. Say that you are not my son; you cannot be my son.

SASHA. You know that I am your son.

PRAS. My son is dead; he was murdered. I buried his body in the Tróitski
Cemetery.

SASHA. But you see that I was not murdered. Touch me; feel me. I am
alive. I and Adámek fought; it was not Adámek that slew me, it was....

PRAS. No, no! I want to hear no more. You have come to torment me. Only
say what you want of me, anything, and I will do it, if you will leave
me in peace.

SASHA. I want food and clothing; I want shelter; I must have money.

PRAS. You will go if I give you money? Yes? Say that you will go, far,
far away, and never come back to tell lies.... But I have no money to
give; I am a poor woman.

SASHA. Come, what's all this?

PRAS. No, no! I need it; I can't spare it. What I have I have starved
myself to get. Two roubles, five roubles, even ten roubles I will give
you, if you will go far, far away....

FOMÁ. Before he can travel we must bribe some peasant to lend him his
passport.

PRAS. Has he no passport then?

FOMÁ. No.

    [_A knock. Enter Spiridón._]

SPIR. Peace be on this house. May the saints watch over all of you!
Astéryi Ivanovitch will have told you of my proposal.

PRAS. Yes, I have heard of it, Spiridón.

FOMÁ. Good-by, Spiridón; there is no work for you here. That is all
over.

PRAS. Why do you say that that is all over?

FOMÁ. There will be no tomb-house to build.

PRAS. No tomb-house? How dare you say so? He is laughing at us,
Spiridón. The tomb-house that we have planned together, with the table
in the middle, and the two chairs.... Do not listen to him, Spiridón. At
last I have money enough; let us count it together.

SASHA. Give me my share, mother!

PRAS. I have no money for you.

SASHA [_advancing_]. I must have money.

PRAS. You shall not touch it.

SASHA. I will not go unless you give me money.

PRAS. It is not mine. I have promised it all to Spiridón. Help me,
Astéryi Ivanovitch; he will drive me mad! Oh, what must I do? What must
I do? Is there no way, Varvára? [_Tap of drums without._] [_To Sasha._]
Go! go! go quickly, or worse will befall you.

SASHA. I will not go and starve while you have all this money.

PRAS. Ah! Since you will have it so.... It is you, not I! [_Running out
at the door and calling._] Patrol! Patrol!

FOMÁ. Stop her.

VAR. Oh, Hóspodi!

PRAS. Help! Help! Come here!

FOMÁ. What have you done? What have you done?

    [_Enter Corporal and Soldiers._]

PRAS. This man is a thief and a murderer. He is a convict escaped from
Siberia. He has no passport.

CORP. Is that true? Where is your passport?

SASHA. I have none.

CORP. We are looking for such men as you. Come!

SASHA. This woman is my mother.

CORP. That's her affair. You have no passport; that is enough for me.
You'll soon be back on the road to the North with the rest of them.

SASHA. Woman! woman! Have pity on your son.

CORP. Come along, lad, and leave the old woman in peace.

    [_Exit Sasha in custody._]

PRAS. The Lord help me!

    [_Praskóvya stumbles towards the eikons and sinks blindly before
    them._]

FOMÁ [_looking after Sasha_]. Poor devil!

ASTÉRYI. What's a man compared to an idea?

    [_Praskóvya rolls over, dead._]


  [_Curtain._]




MARY'S WEDDING

  A PLAY

  BY GILBERT CANNAN


  Copyright, 1913, by Sidgwick and Jackson.
  All rights reserved.


  MARY'S WEDDING was first produced at the Coronet Theatre, in
  May, 1912, with the following cast:

    MARY                       _Miss Irene Rooke_
    TOM                        _Mr. Herbert Lomas_
    ANN                        _Miss Mary Goulden_
    MRS. AIREY                 _Miss Muriel Pratt_
    BILL AIREY                 _Mr. Charles Bibby_
    TWO MAIDS.
    VILLAGERS AND OTHERS.

  SCENE: _The Davis's Cottage_.

  NOTE: There is no attempt made in the play to reproduce exactly
  the Westmoreland dialect, which would be unintelligible to ears
  coming new to it, but only to catch the rough music of it and the
  slow inflection of northern voices.

  Reprinted from "Four Plays," by permission of Mr. Gilbert Cannan.



MARY'S WEDDING

A PLAY BY GILBERT CANNAN


    [_The scene is the living-room in the Davis's cottage in the hill
    country. An old room low in the ceiling. Ann Davis is at the table
    in the center of the room untying a parcel. The door opens to
    admit Tom Davis, a sturdy quarryman dressed in his best and
    wearing a large nosegay._]


ANN. Well, 'ast seed un?

TOM. Ay, a seed un. 'Im and 'is ugly face--

ANN [_untying her parcel_].'Tis 'er dress come just in time an' no more
from the maker-up--

TOM. Ef she wouldna do it....

ANN. But 'tis such long years she's been a-waitin'.... 'Tis long years
since she bought t' dress.

TOM. An' 'tis long years she'll be a livin' wi' what she's been waitin'
for; 'tis long years she'll live to think ower it and watch the thing
she's taken for her man, an' long years that she'll find 'un feedin' on
'er, an' a dreary round she'll 'ave of et....

ANN. Three times she 'ave come to a month of weddin' an' three times 'e
'ave broke loose and gone down to the Mortal Man an' the woman that
keeps 'arf our men in drink.... 'Tis she is the wicked one, giving 'em
score an' score again 'till they owe more than they can ever pay with a
year's money.

TOM. 'Tis a fearful thing to drink....

ANN. So I telled 'er in the beginnin' of it all, knowin' what like of
man 'e was. An' so I telled 'er last night only.

TOM. She be set on it?

ANN. An', an' 'ere's t' pretty dress for 'er to be wedded in....

TOM. What did she say?

ANN. Twice she 'ave broke wi' 'im, and twice she 'ave said that ef 'e
never touched the drink fur six months she would go to be churched wi'
'im. She never 'ave looked at another man.

TOM. Ay, she be one o' they quiet ones that goes about their work an'
never 'as no romantical notions but love only the more for et. There've
been men come for 'er that are twice the man that Bill is, but she never
looks up from 'er work at 'em.

ANN. I think she must 'a' growed up lovin' Bill. 'Tis a set thing
surely.

TOM. An' when that woman 'ad 'im again an' 'ad 'im roaring drunk fur a
week, she never said owt but turned to 'er work agin an' set aside the
things she was makin' agin the weddin'....

ANN. What did 'e say to 'er?

TOM. Nowt. 'E be 'most as chary o' words as she. 'E've got the 'ouse an'
everything snug, and while 'e works 'e makes good money.

ANN. 'Twill not end, surely.

TOM. There was 'is father and two brothers all broken men by it.

    [_She hears Mary on the stairs, and they are silent._]

ANN. 'Ere's yer pretty dress, Mary.

MARY. Ay.... Thankye, Tom.

TOM. 'Twill be lovely for ye, my dear, an' grand. 'Tis a fine day fur
yer weddin', my dear....

MARY. I'll be sorry to go, Tom.

TOM. An' sorry we'll be to lose ye....

MARY. I'll put the dress on.

    [_She throws the frock over her arm and goes out with it._]

ANN. Another girl would 'a' wedded him years ago in the first
foolishness of it. But Mary, for all she says so little, 'as long, long
thoughts that never comes to the likes o' you and me.... Another girl,
when the day 'ad come at last, would 'a' been wild wi' the joy an' the
fear o' it.... But Mary, she's sat on the fells under the stars, an'
windin' among the sheep. D' ye mind the nights she's been out like an
old shepherd wi' t' sheep? D' ye mind the nights when she was but a lile
'un an' we found 'er out in the dawn sleepin' snug again the side o' a
fat ewe?

TOM. 'Tis not like a weddin' day for 'er.... If she'd 'ad a new dress,
now--

ANN. I said to 'er would she like a new dress; but she would have only
the old 'un cut an' shaped to be in the fashion.... Et 'as been a
strange coortin', an' 'twill be a strange life for 'em both, I'm
thinkin', for there seems no gladness in 'er, nor never was, for she
never was foolish an' she never was young; but she was always like there
was a great weight on 'er, so as she must be about the world alone, but
always she 'ave turned to the little things an' the weak, an' always she
'ad some poor sick beast for tendin' or another woman's babe to 'old to
'er breast, an' I think sometimes that 'tis only because Bill is a poor
sick beast wi' a poor sick soul that she be so set on 'im.

TOM. 'E be a sodden beast wi' never a soul to be saved or damned--

ANN. 'Cept for the drink, 'e've been a good son to 'is old mother when
the others 'ud 'a' left 'er to rot i' the ditch, an' 'e was the on'y one
as 'ud raise a finger again his father when the owd man, God rest him,
was on to 'er like a madman. Drunk or sober 'e always was on 'is
mother's side.

TOM. 'Twas a fearful 'ouse that.

ANN. 'Twas wonderful that for all they did to 'er, that wild old man wi'
'is wild young sons, she outlived 'em all, but never a one could she
save from the curse that was on them, an', sober, they was the likeliest
men 'n Troutbeck....

TOM. 'Tis when the rain comes and t' clouds come low an' black on the
fells and the cold damp eats into a man's bones that the fearful
thoughts come to 'im that must be drowned or 'im go mad--an' only the
foreigners like me or them as 'as foreign blood new in 'em can 'old out
again it; 'tis the curse o' livin' too long between two lines o' 'ills.

ANN. An' what that owd woman could never do, d'ye think our Mary'll do
it? 'Im a Troutbeck man an' she a Troutbeck girl?

TOM. She've 'eld to 'er bargain an' brought 'im to it.

ANN. There's things that a maid can do that a wife cannot an' that's
truth, an' shame it is to the men. [_Comes a knock at the door._]
'Tisn't time for t' weddin' folk.

    [_Tom goes to the window._]

TOM. Gorm. 'Tis Mrs. Airey.

ANN. T' owd woman. She that 'as not been further than 'er garden-gate
these ten years?

    [_She goes to the door, opens it to admit Mrs. Airey, an old gaunt
    woman just beginning to be bent with age._]

MRS. A. Good day to you, Tom Davis.

TOM. Good day to you, Mrs. Airey.

MRS. A. Good day to you, Ann Davis.

ANN. Good day to you, Mrs. Airey. Will ye sit down?

    [_She dusts a chair and Mrs. Airey sits by the fireside. She sits
    silent for a long while. Tom and Ann look uneasily at her and at
    each other._]

MRS. A. So 'tis all ready for Bill's wedding.

TOM. Ay. 'Tis a fine day, an' the folks bid, and the sharry-bang got for
to drive to Coniston, all the party of us. Will ye be coming, Mrs.
Airey?

MRS. A. I'll not. [_Mrs. Airey sits silent again for long._] Is Mary in
the 'ouse?

ANN. She be upstairs puttin' on 'er weddin' dress.

MRS. A. 'Tis the sad day of 'er life.... They're a rotten lot an' who
should know et better than me? Bill's the best of 'em, but Bill's
rotten.... Six months is not enough, nor six years nor sixty, not while
'er stays in Troutbeck rememberin' all that 'as been an' all the trouble
that was in the 'ouse along o' it, and so I've come for to say it.

ANN. She growed up lovin' Bill, and 'tis a set thing. She've waited long
years. 'Tis done now, an' what they make for theirselves they make, an'
'tis not for us to go speirin' for the trouble they may make for
theirselves, but only to pray that it may pass them by....

MRS. A. But 'tis certain.... Six months is not enough, nor six years,
nor sixty--

ANN. And are ye come for to tell Mary this...?

MRS. A. This and much more....

TOM. And what 'ave ye said to Bill?

MRS. A. Nowt. There never was a son would give 'eed to 'is mother....
'Tisn't for 'im I'm thinkin', but for t' children that she's bear 'im. I
'oped, and went on 'opin' till there was no 'ope left in me, and I lived
to curse the day that each one of my sons was born. John and Peter are
dead an' left no child behind, and it were better for Bill also to leave
no child behind. There's a day and 'alf a day o' peace and content for a
woman with such a man, and there's long, long years of thinkin' on the
peace and content that's gone. There's long, long years of watching the
child that you've borne and suckled turn rotten, an' I say that t'
birth-pangs are nowt to t' pangs that ye 'ave from the childer of such a
man as Bill or Bill's father.... She's a strong girl an' a good girl;
but there's this that is stronger than 'er.

    [_Mary comes again, very pretty in her blue dress. She is at once
    sensible of the strangeness in Tom and Ann. She stands looking
    from one to the other. Mrs. Airey sits gazing into the fire._]

MARY. Why, mother ... 'tis kind of you to come on this morning.

MRS. A. Ay, 'tis kind of me. [_Ann steals away upstairs and Tom, taking
the lead from her, goes out into the road._] Come 'ere, my pretty.

    [_Mary goes and stands by her._]

MARY. The sun is shining and the bees all out and busy to gather in the
honey.

MRS. A. 'Tis the bees as is t' wise people to work away in t' dark when
t' sun is hidden, and to work away in t' sun when 'tis bright and light.
'Tis the bees as is t' wise people that takes their men an' kills 'em
for the 'arm that they may do, and it's us that's the foolish ones to
make soft the way of our men an' let them strut before us and lie; and
'tis us that's the foolish ones ever to give a thought to their needs
that give never a one to ours.

MARY. 'Tis us that's t' glorious ones to 'elp them that is so weak, and
'tis us that's the brave and the kind ones to let them 'ave the 'ole
world to play with when they will give never a thought to us that gives
it t' 'em.

MRS. A. My pretty, my pretty, there's never a one of us can 'elp a man
that thinks 'isself a man an' strong, poor fool, an' there's never a one
of us can 'elp a man that's got a curse on 'im and is rotten through to
t' bone, an' not one day can you be a 'elp to such a man as this....

MARY. There's not one day that I will not try, and not one day that I
will not fight to win 'im back....

MRS. A. The life of a woman is a sorrowful thing....

MARY. For all its sorrow, 'tis a greater thing than t' life of a man ...
an' so I'll live it....

MRS. A. Now you're strong and you're young.--'Ope's with ye still and
life all before ye--and so I thought when my day came, and so I did.
There was a day and 'alf a day of peace and content, and there was long,
long years of thinking on the peace and content that are gone.... Four
men all gone the same road, and me left looking down the way that they
are gone and seeing it all black as the pit.... I be a poor old woman
now with never a creature to come near me in kindness, an' I was such a
poor old woman before ever the 'alf of life was gone, an' so you'll be
if you take my son for your man. He's the best of my sons, but I curse
the day that ever he was born....

MARY. There was never a man the like of Bill. If ye see 'un striding the
'ill, ye know 'tis a man by 'is strong, long stride; and if ye see 'un
leapin' an' screein' down th' 'ill, ye know 'tis a man; and if we see
'un in t' quarry, ye know 'tis a strong man....

MRS. A. An' if ye see 'un lyin' drunk i' the ditch, not roarin' drunk,
but rotten drunk, wi' 'is face fouled an' 'is clothes mucked, ye know
'tis the lowest creature of the world.

    [_Mary stands staring straight in front of her._]

MARY. Is it for this that ye come to me to-day?

MRS. A. Ay, for this: that ye may send 'un back to 'is rottenness, for
back to it 'e'll surely go when 'tis too late, an' you a poor old woman
like me, with never a creature to come near ye in kindness, before ever
the bloom 'as gone from your bonny cheeks, an' maybe childer that'll
grow up bonny an' then be blighted for all the tenderness ye give to
them; an' those days will be the worst of all--far worse than the day
when ye turn for good an' all into yourself from t' man that will give
ye nowt.... 'Tis truly the bees as is the wise people....

MARY. It's a weary waitin' that I've had, and better the day and 'alf a
day of peace and content with all the long years of thinking on it than
all the long, long years of my life to go on waitin' and waitin' for
what has passed me by, for if he be the rottenest, meanest man in t'
world that ever was made, there is no other that I can see or ever will.
It is no wild foolishness that I am doing: I never was like that; but
it's a thing that's growed wi' me an' is a part o' me--an' though every
day o' my life were set before me now so I could see to the very end,
an' every day sadder and blacker than the last, I'd not turn back. I
gave 'im the bargain, years back now, and three times e' 'as failed me;
but 'e sets store by me enough to do this for me a fourth time--'Twas
kind of ye to come....

MRS. A. You're strong an' you're young, but there's this that's stronger
than yourself--

MARY. Maybe, but 'twill not be for want o' fightin' wi' 't.

MRS. A. 'Twill steal on ye when you're weakest, an' come on ye in your
greatest need....

MARY. It 'as come to this day an' there is no goin' back. D' ye think
I've not seed t' soft, gentle things that are given to other women, an'
not envied them? D' ye think I've not seed 'em walkin' shut-eyed into
all sorts o' foolishness an' never askin' for the trewth o' it, an' not
envied 'em for doin' that? D' ye think I've not seed the girls I growed
wi' matin' lightly an' lightly weddin', an' not envied 'em for that,
they wi' a 'ouse an' babes an' me drudgin' away in t' farm, me wi' my
man to 'and an' only this agin 'im? D' ye think I've not been tore in
two wi' wantin' to close my eyes an' walk like others into it an' never
think what is to come? There's many an' many a night that I've sat there
under t' stars wi' t' three counties afore me an' t' sea, an' t' sheep
croppin', an' my own thoughts for all the comp'ny that I 'ad, an'
fightin' this way an' that for to take 'up an' let 'un be so rotten, as
ever 'e might be; an' there's many an' many a night when the thoughts
come so fast that they hurt me an' I lay pressed close to t' ground wi'
me 'ands clawin' at it an' me teeth bitin' into t' ground for to get
closer an' 'ide from myself; an' many a night when I sat there seein'
the man as t' brave lad 'e was when I seed 'un first leapin' down the
'ill, an' knowin' that nothin' in the world, nothin' that I could do to
'un or that 'e could do 'isself, would ever take that fro' me.... In all
my time o' my weary waitin' there 'as never been a soul that I told so
much to, an' God knows there never 'as been an' never will be a time
when I can tell as much to 'im....

MRS. A. My pretty, my pretty, 'tis a waste an' a wicked, wicked
waste....

MARY. 'Tis a day an' alf a day agin never a moment....

MRS. A. 'Tis that, and so 'tis wi' all o' us ... an' so 'twill be....
God bless ye, my dear....

    [_Ann comes down. Mary is looking out of the window._]

ANN. Ye forgot the ribbon for yer 'air, that I fetched 'specially fro'
t' town.

MARY. Why, yes. Will ye tie it, Ann?

    [_Ann ties the ribbon in her hair._]

MRS. A. Pretty, my dear, oh! pretty--

MARY. I'm to walk to t' church o' Tom's arm...?

ANN. An' I to Tom's left; wi' the bridesmaids be'ind, an' the rest a
followin'....

    [_Tom returns, followed by two girls bringing armfuls of flowers.
    With these they deck the room, and keep the choicest blooms for
    Mary. Ann and the three girls are busied with making Mary reach
    her most beautiful. Mrs. Airey goes. At intervals one villager and
    another comes to give greeting or to bring some small offering of
    food or some small article of clothing. Mary thanks them all with
    rare natural grace. They call her fine, and ejaculate remarks of
    admiration: "The purty bride...." "She's beautiful...." "'Tis a
    lucky lad, Bill Airey...." The church bell begins to ring.... All
    is prepared and all are ready.... Mary is given her gloves, which
    she draws on--when the door is thrown open and Bill Airey lunges
    against the lintel of the door and stands leering. He is just
    sober enough to know what he is at. He is near tears, poor
    wretch. He is not horribly drunk. He stands surveying the group
    and they him._]

BILL. I come--I come--I--c-come for to--to--to--show--to show myself....

    [_He turns in utter misery and goes. Mary plucks the flowers from
    her bosom and lets them fall to the ground; draws her gloves off
    her hands and lets them fall. The bell continues to ring._]


  [_Curtain._]




THE BABY CARRIAGE

  A PLAY

  BY BOSWORTH CROCKER


  Copyright, 1920, by Bosworth Crocker.
  All rights reserved.


  THE BABY CARRIAGE was originally produced by the Provincetown Players,
  New York, February 14, 1919, with the following cast:

    MRS. LEZINSKY       _Dorothy Miller._
    MRS. ROONEY         _Alice Dostetter._
    MR. ROSENBLOOM      _W. Clay Hill._
    SOLOMON LEZINSKY    _O. K. Liveright._

  PLACE: _The Lezinsky Tailor Shop_.
  TIME: _To-day_.


  Application for the right of performing THE BABY CARRIAGE must be made
  to Mr. Bosworth Crocker, in care of the Society of American Dramatists
  and Composers, 148 West 45th Street, New York, or The Authors' League,
  Union Square, New York.



THE BABY CARRIAGE

A PLAY BY BOSWORTH CROCKER


    [_THE SCENE is an ordinary tailor shop two steps down from the
    sidewalk. Mirror on one side. Equipment third rate. Mrs. Solomon
    Lezinsky, alone in the shop, is examining a torn pair of trousers
    as Mrs. Rooney comes in._]


MRS. LEZINSKY [_27 years old, medium height and weight, dark,
attractive. In a pleased voice with a slight Yiddish accent_]. Mrs.
Rooney!

MRS. ROONEY [_30 years old. A plump and pretty Irish woman_]. I only ran
in for a minute to bring you these. [_Holds up a pair of roller skates
and a picture book._] Eileen's out there in the carriage. [_Both women
look out at the baby-carriage in front of the window._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. Bring her in, Mrs. Rooney. Such a beautiful child--your
Eileen!

MRS. ROONEY. Can't stop--where's the kids?

MRS. LEZINSKY. The janitress takes them to the moving pictures with her
Izzy.

MRS. ROONEY. You wouldn't believe the things I've run across this day,
packing. [_Puts down the skates._] I'm thinking these skates'll fit one
of your lads. My Mickey--God rest his soul!--used to tear around great
on them.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Fine, Mrs. Rooney! [_Examines the skates._ But couldn't
you save them for Eileen?

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, she'd be long growing up to them and they be laying
by gathering the rust.

MRS. LEZINSKY. My David and Julius and Benny could die for joy with
these fine skates, I tell you, Mrs. Rooney.

MRS. ROONEY. Here's an old book [_hands Mrs. Lezinsky the book_], but
too good to throw away entirely.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_opens the book_]. Fine, Mrs. Rooney! Such a book with
pictures in it! My Benny's wild for picture books. Julius reads,
reads--always learning. Something wonderful, I tell you. Just like the
papa--my Solly ruins himself with his nose always stuck in the Torah.

MRS. ROONEY. The Toro? 'Tis a book I never heard tell of.

MRS. LEZINSKY. The law and the prophets--my Solly was meant to be a
rabbi once.

MRS. ROONEY. A rabbi?

MRS. LEZINSKY. You know what a rabbi is by us, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. Indeed, I know what a rabbi is, Mrs. Lezinsky--a rabbi is a
Jewish priest.

MRS. LEZINSKY. You don't hate the Jewish religion, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. Every one has a right to their own religion. Some of us are
born Jewish--like you, Mrs. Lezinsky, and some are born Catholics, like
me.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Catholics like you are fine, Mrs. Rooney. Such a good
neighbor! A good customer, too! Why should you move away now, Mrs.
Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. The air in the Bronx will be fine for Eileen. 'Tis a great
pity you couldn't be moving there, yourself. With the fresh air and the
cheap rent, 'twould be great for yourself and the boys--not to mention
the baby that's coming to you.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Thank God, that don't happen for a little while yet. But
in the hottest weather--maybe--some Septembers--even so late yet--ain't
it, Mrs. Rooney? Always trouble by us. Such expense, too. The agent
takes the rent to-day. With Solly's eyes so bad it's a blessing when we
can pay the rent even. And the gas bills! So much pants pressing! See?
They send us this already. [_Shows a paper._] A notice to pay right away
or they shut it off. Only ten days overdue. Would you believe it, Mrs.
Rooney? Maybe we catch up a little next month. It don't pay no longer,
this business. And soon now another mouth to feed, and still my Solly
sticks by his learning.

MRS. ROONEY. But he can't be a rabbi now, can he?

MRS. LEZINSKY. He can't be a rabbi now, no more, Mrs. Rooney, but such a
pious man--my Solly. He must be a poor tailor, but he never gives up his
learning--not for anything he gives that up. Learning's good for my
David and Julius and Benny soon, but it's bad for my Solly. It leaves
him no eyes for the business, Mrs. Rooney.

MRS. ROONEY. And are the poor eyes as bad as ever?

MRS. LEZINSKY. How should his eyes get better when he gives them no
chance? Always he should have an operation and the operation--it don't
help--maybe. [_Mrs. Rooney turns to the door._] Must you go so quick,
Mrs. Rooney? Now you move away, I never see you any more.

MRS. ROONEY. The subway runs in front of the house.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I tell you something, Mrs. Rooney: Solly couldn't keep
the shop open without me. Sometimes his eyes go back on him altogether.
And he should get an operation. But that costs something, I tell you,
Mrs. Rooney. The doctors get rich from that. It costs something, that
operation. And then, sometimes, may be it don't help.

MRS. ROONEY. 'Tis too bad, altogether. [_Looks at the baby-carriage._]
Wait a minute, Mrs. Lezinsky. [_Starts out._]

MRS. LEZINSKY [_as Mrs. Rooney goes_]. What is it, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY [_just outside the door, calls out_]. Something else--I
forgot. 'Tis out here in the carriage.

    [_Mrs. Lezinsky threads a needle and begins to sew buttons on a
    lady's coat. Mrs. Rooney comes back carrying a small square
    package wrapped in newspaper._]

MRS. ROONEY. Here's something. You'll like this, Mrs. Lezinsky. It
belongs to Eileen.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_looking out at the child in the carriage_]. Was her
collar stitched all right, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. It was that. Fits her coat perfect. See the new cap on her?
'Twas for her birthday I bought it. Three years old now. Getting that
big I can feel the weight of her.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Such a beautiful little girl, Mrs. Rooney! And such
stylish clothes you buy for her. My David should have a new suit from
his papa's right away now. Then we fix the old one over for Julius.
Maybe my Benny gets a little good out of that suit too, sometime. We
couldn't afford to buy new clothes. We should first get all the wear out
of the old ones. Yes, Mrs. Rooney. Anyhow, boys! It don't so much
matter. But girls! Girls is different. And such a beautiful little girl
like Eileen!

MRS. ROONEY. She'll be spoilt on me entirely--every one giving her her
own way. [_In a gush of mother-pride._] 'Tis the darling she is--anyhow.

MRS. LEZINSKY. O, Mrs. Rooney, I could wish to have one just like her, I
tell you, such a beautiful little girl just like her.

MRS. ROONEY. Maybe you will, Mrs. Lezinsky, maybe you will.

MRS. LEZINSKY. She sleeps nice in that baby-carriage.

MRS. ROONEY. 'Tis the last time she sleeps in it.

MRS. LEZINSKY. The last time, what?

MRS. ROONEY. Her pa'll be after buying me a go-cart for her now we're
moving. 'Tis destroying me--the hauling that up and down stairs.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Such a gorgeous baby-carriage--all fresh painted--white--

MRS. ROONEY. It's fine for them that likes it. As for me--I'm that tired
of dragging it, I'd rather be leaving it behind.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_her face aglow_]. What happens to that carriage, Mrs.
Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. I'll be selling it.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Who buys that carriage, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. More than one has their eye on it, but I'll get my price.
Mrs. Cohen has spoke for it.

MRS. LEZINSKY. How much you ask for that carriage, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, and I'd let it go for a $5 bill, Mrs. Lezinsky.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_her face falls_]. Maybe you get that $5 ... Mrs. Rooney.
Those Cohens make money by that stationery business.

MRS. ROONEY. And sure, the secondhand man would pay me as much.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_longingly_]. My David and Julius and Benny--they never
had such a baby-carriage--in all their lives they never rode in a
baby-carriage. My babies was pretty babies, too. And smart, Mrs. Rooney!
You wouldn't believe it. My Benny was the smartest of the lot. When he
was 18 months old, he puts two words together already.

MRS. ROONEY. He's a keener--that one. [_Unwraps the package._] I'm clean
forgetting the basket. [_Holds it out to Mrs. Lezinsky's delighted
gaze._] Now there you are--as good as new--Mrs. Lezinsky--and when you
do be sticking the safety pins into the cushion [_she points out the
cushion_] you can mind my Eileen. Some of the pinholes is rusty like,
but the pins'll cover it--that it was herself gave your baby its first
present.

MRS. LEZINSKY. O, Mrs. Rooney, such a beautiful basket! Such a
beautiful, stylish basket!

MRS. ROONEY. And here's a box for the powder. [_Opens a celluloid box
and takes out a powder puff._] And here's an old puff. Sure the puff
will do if you're not too particular.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_handling the things_]. Why should I be so particular? In
all their lives my David and Julius and Benny never had such a box and
puff, I tell you, Mrs. Rooney.

MRS. ROONEY [_points_]. Them little pockets is to stick things in.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Should you give away such a basket, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. What good is it but to clutter up the closet, knocking
about in my way.

MRS. LEZINSKY. My David and Julius and Benny, they never had such a
basket, but my cousin, Morris Schapiro's wife,--she had such a
basket--for her baby. All lined with pink it was.

MRS. ROONEY. Pink is for boys. I wanted a girl, having Mickey then.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Me, too, Mrs. Rooney. Three boys! Now it's time it should
be a little girl. Yes, Mrs. Rooney. A little girl like Eileen.

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, then, if you're going by the basket 'tis a little
girl you have coming to you. Blue's for girls.... A comb and a brush for
it--you can buy.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Combs and brushes! What should I do with combs and
brushes? My David and Julius and Benny are all born bald.

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, Eileen had the finest head of curls was ever seen on
a baby--little soft yellow curls--like the down on a bird.

MRS. LEZINSKY. If I should have a little girl--like your Eileen--my
David and Julius and Benny--they die for joy over their little sister, I
tell you, Mrs. Rooney. Yes, it should be a girl and I name her Eileen.
Such pretty names for girls: Eileen and Hazel and Gladys and Goldie.
Goldie's a pretty name, too. I like that name so much I call myself
Goldie when I go to school. Gietel's my Jewish name. Ugly? Yes, Mrs.
Rooney? Goldie's better--much better. But Eileen's the best of all.
Eileen's a gorgeous name. I name her Eileen, I do assure you. She should
have another name, too, for Solly. Zipporah, maybe--for her dead
grandmother.

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, Eileen has a second name: Bridget. 'Tis for my mother
in the old country. A saint's name. Her father chose it for her.
Bridget's a grand name--that--too.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Zipporah--that was Solly's mother.... But I call her
Eileen.

MRS. ROONEY. That's a grand compliment, Mrs. Lezinsky, and 'tis myself
would stand godmother for her should you be wanting me to.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I'm sorry, Mrs. Rooney, by our religion we don't have
such god-mothers.

MRS. ROONEY. I'll be running on now not to keep you from your work and
so much of it with your poor man and the drops in his sick eyes. Here!
[_She puts half a dollar into Mrs. Lezinsky's hand._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. For what?

MRS. ROONEY. For Mr. Lezinsky stitching the collar on Eileen's coat.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_trying to make Mrs. Rooney take it back_]. Mrs.
Rooney--if you wouldn't insult me--please--when you bring all these
lovely things.... [_Mrs. Rooney pushes the money away._] And so you sell
that fine baby-carriage.... That carriage holds my Benny, too, maybe?

MRS. ROONEY. Sure. Easy.

MRS. LEZINSKY. My David and Julius--they could wheel that carriage. The
little sister sleeps in it. And my Benny--he rides at the foot. $5 is
cheap for that elegant carriage when you should happen to have so much
money. I ask my Solly. Do me the favor, Mrs. Rooney--you should speak to
me first before you give it to Mrs. Cohen--yes?

MRS. ROONEY. Sure I will. I'll be leaving the carriage outside and carry
the child up. You and Mr. Lezinsky can be making up your minds. [_Mrs.
Rooney looks through the window at a man turning in from the street._]
Is it himself coming home?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Any time now, Mrs. Rooney, he comes from the doctor.

MRS. ROONEY. 'Tis not himself. 'Tis some customer.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_as the door opens_]. It's Mr. Rosenbloom.

MRS. ROONEY. See you later. [_Rushes out. Through the window Mrs.
Lezinsky watches her take the child out of the carriage._]

MRS. LEZINSKY [_sighs, turns to her customer_]. O, Mr. Rosenbloom! Glad
to see you, Mr. Rosenbloom. You well now, Mr. Rosenbloom?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Able to get around once more, Mrs. Lezinsky.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I hope you keep that way. You got thinner with your
sickness. You lose your face, Mr. Rosenbloom. [_He hands her a coat and
a pair of trousers._] Why should you bother to bring them in? I could
send my David or Julius for them.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Right on my way to the barber-shop. The coat's a little
loose now. [_Slips off his coat and puts on the other._] Across the
back. See?

MRS. LEZINSKY. He should take it in a little on the shoulders, Mr.
Rosenbloom?

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_considers_]. It wouldn't pay--so much alterations for
this particular suit.

MRS. LEZINSKY. It's a good suit, Mr. Rosenbloom.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. He should just shorten the sleeves. Those sleeves were
from the first a little too long.

    [_He slips the coat off. Mrs. Lezinsky measures coat sleeve
    against his bent arm._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. About how much, Mr. Rosenbloom? Say--an inch?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. An inch or an inch and a half--maybe.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_measures again_]. I think that makes them too short, Mr.
Rosenbloom. One inch is plenty.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. All right--one inch, then.

MRS. LEZINSKY. One inch.... All right, Mr. Rosenbloom--one inch.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. How soon will they be ready?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Maybe to-morrow. He lets all this other work
go--maybe--and sets to work on them right away when he gets back home.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. All right.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I send my David or Julius with them, Mr. Rosenbloom?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. I'll stop in the evening and try the coat on.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Maybe it wouldn't be ready to try on so soon--All right,
Mr. Rosenbloom, this evening you come in. [_She calls after him as he
goes out._] O, Mr. Rosenbloom! The pants? What should he do to the
pants?

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_from the doorway_]. Press them. [_He turns back._]
Press the--whole thing--suit.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Press them. Sure. Press the suit. A fine suit. Certainly
a fine piece of goods, Mr. Rosenbloom. Did my husband make it up for
you?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Yes.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I thought so. Wears like iron, too, this goods. Yes, Mr.
Rosenbloom? With one eye my husband picks the best pieces of goods I
tell you, Mr. Rosenbloom.... He should shorten the sleeves one inch....
All right, he fixes it to your satisfaction, Mr. Rosenbloom--

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Yes, yes. [_Impatiently edges toward the door._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. This evening you come for them?

    [_He nods and hurries out._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. Five dollars! [_Drops everything and stands looking
dreamily through the shop window at the baby-carriage. She takes a roll
of money from her bosom and counts it. Shakes her head dispiritedly and
sighs. She makes an estimate of the money coming in from the work on
hand. Pointing to Mr. Rosenbloom's suit._] Two dollars for that--[_Turns
from the suit to a pair of torn trousers._] Half a dollar,
anyhow--[_Points to the lady's coat on which she has been sewing
buttons._] A dollar--maybe--[_Hears some one coming, thrusts the roll of
money back into her bosom._]

LEZINSKY [_comes in. Spare. Medium height. Pronounced Semitic type. He
wears glasses with very thick lenses._] Where are the children?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Mrs. Klein takes them to the moving pictures with her
Izzy.

LEZINSKY. Always to the moving pictures! The children go blind, too,
pretty soon.

MRS. LEZINSKY. The doctor didn't make your eyes no better, Solly?

LEZINSKY. How should he make them better when he says all the time:
"Don't use them." And all the time a man must keep right on working to
put bread in the mouths of his children. And soon, now, another one
comes--nebbich!

MRS. LEZINSKY. Maybe your eyes get much better now when our little
Eileen comes.

LEZINSKY. Better a boy, Goldie: that helps more in the business.

MRS. LEZINSKY. It's time our David and Julius and Benny should have a
little sister now. They like that. Such another little girl like Mrs.
Rooney's Eileen. When it is, maybe, a girl, we call her Eileen--like
Mrs. Rooney's Eileen. Such a gorgeous name--that Eileen! Yes, Solly?

LEZINSKY. Eileen! A Goy name! She should be Rebecca for your mother or
Zipporah for mine.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Sure. Zipporah, too, Solly--Eileen Zipporah! When there
should be sometime--another boy, Solly, then you name him what you like.
When it a little girl--Eileen. I dress her up stylish. Such beautiful
things they have in Gumpertz's window. And--Mrs. Rooney sells her
baby-carriage. [_Both look out at the carriage._] She gives it away.

LEZINSKY. She gives you a baby-carriage?

MRS. LEZINSKY. For five dollars she gives me that lovely carriage good
as new--all fresh painted white--and the little Eileen Zipporah sleeps
at the head and Benny rides at the foot by his little sister. So
elegant--Solly!

LEZINSKY. I put my eyes out to earn the bread and this woman--she should
buy a baby-carriage. Oi! Oi!

MRS. LEZINSKY [_points to carriage_]. Such a baby-carriage what Mrs.
Rooney has--it only happens to us once, Solly. Only five
one-dollars--all fresh painted white--just like new--and such a cover to
keep out the sun. She gets a little new go-cart for Eileen. Otherwise
she don't give up such an elegant carriage what cost her more money than
we could even see at one time except for rents and gas-bills. Five
dollars is cheap for that carriage. Five dollars is nothing for that
carriage I tell you, Solly. Nothing at all. She sells it now before she
moves to the Bronx this afternoon. Such a bargain we shouldn't lose,
Solly--even if we don't pay all the money right away down. Yes, Solly?
And Mrs. Rooney--she gives our David and Julius and Benny skates and a
picture book--and their little sister this fine basket. [_Shows him the
basket._] Yes, Solly. Shouldn't we make sure to buy this baby-carriage?
Only five dollars, Solly, this baby-carriage--

LEZINSKY. Baby-carriage! Baby-carriage! If I had so much money for
baby-carriages I hire me a cutter here. This way I go blind.

MRS. LEZINSKY. No, but by reading the Torah! And that way you lose good
custom, too. [_Wheedling him again._] Maybe you get good business and
hire you a cutter when the little Eileen comes. Five dollars! Does that
pay wages to a cutter? Yes, Solly? But it buys once a beautiful
baby-carriage, and David and Julius go wild to ride their little sister
in it--and Benny at the foot.

LEZINSKY [_waving his arms_]. I should have a cutter not to lose my
customers--and this woman--she would have a baby-carriage. I lose my
eyes, but she would have a baby-carriage.

MRS. LEZINSKY. But it costs only five dollars. What costs a cutter?

LEZINSKY. At Union wages! I might as well ask for the moon, Goldie. Oi!
Oi! Soon we all starve together.

MRS. LEZINSKY. You hire you a cheap hand here, Solly. He does pressing
and all the dirty work. He works and you boss him around. That looks
good to the customers. Yes, Solly? And I save up that five dollars soon
and give it back to you. Yes, Solly? Business goes better now already
when people come back from the country and everything picks up a little.
I help now and we spare that five dollars. Mr. Rosenbloom brings us a
little work. See? [_She points to the coat._] You should make the
sleeves shorter--one inch. Mr. Rosenbloom gets thinner by his sickness.
His clothes hang a little loose on him.

LEZINSKY [_looks at the trousers_]. And the pants?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Mr. Rosenbloom didn't lose his stomach by his sickness.
He only loses his face.

LEZINSKY. Such a _chutzpah_!

MRS. LEZINSKY. Yes, nothing makes Mr. Rosenbloom to lose his cheek,
ain't it, Solly? And plenty roast goose has he to fill up his stomach.
By us is no more roast goose nowadays.

LEZINSKY. We make up what we didn't get here maybe in the world to come,
Goldie _leben_.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Roast goose in the world to come! Such a business! Angels
shouldn't eat, Solly. I take my roast goose now--then I sure get it....
How much you charge Mr. Rosenbloom for this [_points to the suit_],
Solly?

LEZINSKY. One dollar and a half--maybe.

MRS. LEZINSKY. For such a job my cousin Morris Schapiro gets three
dollars and not too dear then. Everything goes 'way up and you stay 'way
behind. You should raise your prices. No wonder we shall all starve
together. It's not baby-carriages what ruin us. Did our David or Julius
or Benny ever have such a baby-carriage? No. But it is that you let the
customers steal your work.

LEZINSKY. All right--I charge two dollars.

MRS. LEZINSKY. What good should half a dollar do? Three dollars, Solly.

LEZINSKY. Two dollars. Three dollars swindles him.

MRS. LEZINSKY. All right--then two dollars. Fifty cents is fifty cents
anyhow. [_She goes up to him and presses her face against his._] Solly,
leben, shouldn't our David and Julius and Benny have a baby-carriage for
their little sister?

LEZINSKY. Baby-carriage--Oi! Peace, Goldie, my head aches.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_picking up the trousers_]. How much for these, Solly?

LEZINSKY. One dollar.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_derisively_]. One dollar you say! And for the lady's
coat?

LEZINSKY. A couple of dollars, anyway.

MRS. LEZINSKY. A couple of dollars anyway! And he thinks he does good
business when he charges a couple of dollars anyway. And for that, my
cousin, Morris Schapiro charges three dollars each. A couple of dollars!
Your children will be left without bread. [_He mutters phrases from the
Torah._] You hear me, Solly? [_He goes on with his prayers._] Prayers
are what he answers me. Soon you pray in the streets.

LEZINSKY. Woe is me! Woe is me!

MRS. LEZINSKY. Could he even answer me? Yes, if it was roast goose I was
asking for or black satin for a decent _Shabbos_ dress. But no!
[_Satirically._] Maybe you even get roast goose from your learning....
Yes--on account of your praying we all have to go a begging yet.

LEZINSKY. To-morrow is _Rosch Hoschana_, Gietel.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Does _Rosch Hoschana_ mean a roast goose by us? Does it
even mean a baby-carriage what costs five dollars?

LEZINSKY. Roast goose and baby-carriage! You have no pious thoughts....
Go away.... My head swims.

MRS. LEZINSKY. That comes by fasting. Don't you fast enough every day?

LEZINSKY. She comes now to roast goose again.

MRS. LEZINSKY. What should I care for roast goose? _Rosch Hoschana_
comes next year again. But the baby-carriage--it never comes again.

LEZINSKY. Baby-carriage! Baby-carriage! When you should fast and
pray....

MRS. LEZINSKY. What! Should I fast and give our David and Julius and
Benny a shadow--maybe--for a little sister?... But--yes--I fast, too ...
that--even--for such a baby carriage. O, Solly--that much we all do--for
our little Eileen.

LEZINSKY [_wearily, putting his hands to his eyes_]. All right. How much
money have you got there--Gietel?

MRS. LEZINSKY [_sweetly_]. Now call me Goldie, Solly, so I know you
ain't mad.

LEZINSKY. Yes, yes.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Goldie--say it--Solly leben--Go on--count it--Goldie.
[_She takes the money out and they count it together._]

MR. AND MRS. LEZINSKY [_together_]. One.... [_Counting out
another dollar bill_]--Two.... [_Counting out a third dollar
bill_]--Three.... [_Counting out a two-dollar bill_]--Five dollars....
[_Another two-dollar bill_]--Seven dollars.... [_A ten-dollar
bill_]--Seventeen.... [_Another ten-dollar bill_]--Twenty-seven....
[_The last ten-dollar bill_]--Thirty-seven.

LEZINSKY. Thirty-seven dollars in all--the rent and the gas!

MRS. LEZINSKY. And a little over, Solly, to pay on the baby carriage.

LEZINSKY. And to-morrow _Rosch Hoschana_. Shall we starve the children
on Rosch Hoschana?

MRS. LEZINSKY. They could go a little hungry once for their little
sister, Eileen.

LEZINSKY. Don't be too sure, Goldie, maybe another boy comes.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Well, even if--it needs the fresh air, too.

LEZINSKY [_firmly after a moment's thought_]. No, Goldie, it couldn't be
done. In the spring we buy a baby-carriage.

MRS. LEZINSKY. You think she waits till spring to sell that
baby-carriage? She sells it now before she moves away--now, this
afternoon, I tell you.

LEZINSKY. Well, we buy another carriage, then.

MRS. LEZINSKY. You don't find such a bargain again anytime. She gives it
away.

LEZINSKY. My eyes get much better soon--now--by the operation.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Operation! Operation! Always operations! And the baby
comes. No carriage for our David and Julius to wheel her in--with our
Benny at the foot--in the fresh air--and she dies on us in the heat next
summer--maybe--and David and Julius and Benny--they lose their little
sister.

LEZINSKY. Didn't David and Julius and Benny live without a
baby-carriage?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Yes, a mile to the park, maybe, and I carry them to the
fresh air. And a baby-carriage for her costs five dollars. What time
shall I have for that with all the extra work and my back broken? In
such a baby-carriage the little sister sleeps from morning to night--on
the sidewalk by the stoop; she gets fat and healthy from that
baby-carriage.

LEZINSKY. When I could pay for the operation, maybe--then--

MRS. LEZINSKY [_despairingly_]. Operations again--always operations!

LEZINSKY. Go away, Goldie, I must work.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I advise you not to have that operation now. He steals
your money and don't help your eyes. Get another doctor. But
baby-carriages like this ain't so plenty.

LEZINSKY. God of Israel, shall I go blind because you would have a
baby-carriage for our unborn son?

MRS. LEZINSKY. No, but by reading the Torah--and that way you lose good
customers, too--and she shall die in the heat because David and Julius
cannot push her in that baby-carriage.

LEZINSKY. Go away, Gietel, I have work to do. Maybe you could rip out
the sleeves from Mr. Rosenbloom's coat?

MRS. LEZINSKY. I do anything--anything you like, Solly, for that
baby-carriage.... Yes, I rip out the sleeves when I finish sewing on the
buttons.... I do anything--anything--so we get this baby carriage. We
never get another such carriage.

LEZINSKY. God of Israel, will she never hear me when I say: No!

MRS. LEZINSKY. Then--Mrs. Cohen--she gets that baby carriage--and every
day of my life I see it go past my window--and the little sister--she
goes without. [_She picks up Mr. Rosenbloom's coat, looks it over and
finds a small wallet in the breast pocket. Tucks the wallet into her
bosom. Fiercely, half-aloud, but to herself._] No! No! Mrs. Cohen
shouldn't get that baby-carriage--whatever happens--she shouldn't get
it. [_She crosses to the mirror, pulls the wallet from her bosom,
hurriedly counts the money in it, glances at her husband, then takes out
a five-dollar bill. She hears a noise outside and makes a move as though
to restore the money to the wallet, but at the sound of steps on the
stoop, she thrusts the loose bill into her bosom. As Mr. Rosenbloom
comes in she has only time to stick the wallet back into the coat. Picks
up the lady's coat and sews on buttons vigorously._]

MR. ROSENBLOOM. I left my wallet in that coat.

LEZINSKY [_with a motion of his head toward the coat_]. Goldie.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_sewing the buttons onto the lady's coat_]. In which
pocket, Mr. Rosenbloom?

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_crosses to coat_]. You don't begin work on it, yet?

MRS. LEZINSKY [_slowly puts her work aside_]. I rip the sleeves out so
soon I sew these buttons on, Mr. Rosenbloom.

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_looks in breast pocket, draws back in astonishment to
find the wallet gone._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. In which pocket, Mr. Rosenbloom?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. I keep it always in that breast pocket.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_taking the wallet from an outside pocket_]. Why--here it
is, Mr. Rosenbloom.

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_suspiciously_]. From which pocket does it come?

MRS. LEZINSKY [_points_]. Right here, Mr. Rosenbloom.

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_shakes his head_]. I don't see how it got in that
pocket.

MRS. LEZINSKY. We didn't touch that coat, Mr. Rosenbloom--except Solly
looks when I told him what he should do to it--ain't it, Solly?
Otherwise we didn't touch it.

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_opens the wallet_]. Funny! It couldn't walk out of one
pocket into another all by itself.

MRS. LEZINSKY. We didn't touch it, Mr. Rosenbloom.

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_begins to count the bills_]. Maybe some customer--

MRS. LEZINSKY. That may be--all kinds of customers, Mr. Rosenbloom--

LEZINSKY [_as Mr. Rosenbloom goes over the money for the second time._]
But it hangs here always in our sight. Who has been here, Goldie?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. There's a bill missing here.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_pretending great astonishment_]. Mr. Rosenbloom!

LEZINSKY [_with an accusing note in his tone, meant for her only_].
Gietel?

MRS. LEZINSKY. How should I know? [_To Mr. Rosenbloom._] Maybe you
didn't count it right. [_He counts it again._]

MR. ROSENBLOOM. No--it's short--$5.

LEZINSKY [_under his breath, looking strangely at his wife._] Mr.
Rosenbloom, however that happens--I make up that $5. Such a thing
shouldn't happen in my business. I make it up right away.
Gietel!--Gietel--give me the money.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_in a trembling voice_]. I didn't--

LEZINSKY [_checks her_]. I pay you from my own money, Mr. Rosenbloom....
Gietel! [_He puts out his hand for the money._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. All right, Solly.... [_Turns her back to Mr. Rosenbloom
and pulls the roll of money from her bosom, thrusting the loose bill
back. Solomon, standing over her, sees this bill and puts out his hand
for it._]

LEZINSKY [_in a tense undertone_]. All--Gietel--all!

    [_Reluctantly she draws the $5 bill from her bosom and, seizing a
    moment when Mr. Rosenbloom is recounting his money, she thrusts it
    quickly into her husband's hand._]

LEZINSKY [_he crosses to Mr. Rosenbloom and counts out the five dollars
from the bills in the roll._] One dollar--two dollars--three
dollars--and two is five dollars. [_Hands it to Mr. Rosenbloom._]

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_hesitates_]. You shouldn't be out that $5, Mr.
Lezinsky. Anyhow--pay me the difference when you charge for the suit.

LEZINSKY. No, Mr. Rosenbloom--if you take the money now, please.... I
couldn't rest--otherwise. In all my life--this--never--happened--before.

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_takes the money_]. Well, if you want it that way, Mr.
Lezinsky.... You have the suit ready this evening anyhow?

LEZINSKY. You get the suit this evening, Mr. Rosenbloom. I stop
everything else.... And I don't charge you anything for this work, Mr.
Rosenbloom.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Of course, you charge. "Don't charge"! What kind of
business is that?

LEZINSKY. I make you a present, Mr. Rosenbloom--for your trouble.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. I pay you for these alterations, all right. [_He goes
out._]

LEZINSKY [_searches his wife's face, with ominous calm_]. Gietel!
Gietel!

MRS. LEZINSKY. You make presents, eh, Solly? Are you a rabbi or a poor
blind tailor--yes?

LEZINSKY [_bursts out_]. She makes a mock at me--this shameless one!

MRS. LEZINSKY. No, no, Solly--

LEZINSKY [_scathingly_]. Gietel!... [_His eyes never leave her face._]

MRS. LEZINSKY [_in a hushed voice_]. Why do you look at me like that,
Solly?

LEZINSKY. Blind as I am, I see too much, Gietel.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Listen, Solly--I tell you now--

LEZINSKY [_silences her with a wave of his hand._] What I get I
give--[_He takes the five-dollar bill from his pocket, smooths it out
and adds it to the roll._] I give my money. I give my eyes ... and this
woman--she sells me for a baby-carriage.

MRS. LEZINSKY. No, no, Solly, you shouldn't say such things before you
know--

LEZINSKY. Silence, woman! How should I not know? It is here in my
hand--the five-dollar bill--here in my hand. I have counted the money.
Thirty-seven dollars we had. I have given him back his five and
thirty-seven dollars remain. How is that, Gietel? What is the answer to
that?... She cheats the customer and she cheats me.... Rather should I
take my children by the hand and beg my bread from door to door.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Solly--Solly--I tell you--the baby-carriage--

LEZINSKY. Out of my sight, woman; I forbid you to come into this shop
again.

MRS. LEZINSKY. O, Solly _leben_, that couldn't be--

LEZINSKY. The mother of my children--she sins--for a baby-carriage.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Listen, Solly--I didn't mean to keep that money. As
there's a God of Israel I didn't mean to keep it. I should use it--just
this afternoon--to buy the baby-carriage--and when the customers pay
us--put the money back before he misses it.

LEZINSKY. Meshugge! So much money isn't coming to us. And why should you
use Mr. Rosenbloom's money? Why shouldn't you take it from the money you
had?

MRS. LEZINSKY. How could I use that money? Don't you pay the rent this
afternoon to the agent? And they shut off the gas when we don't settle:
by five o'clock they shut it off. And Mrs. Rooney moves away--[_Breaks
into sobbing._] and so--I thought I lose the baby-carriage.

LEZINSKY. Gietel--Gietel--you are a----. I can't speak the word,
Gietel--It sticks in my throat.

MRS. LEZINSKY. No, no, Solly, you shouldn't speak that word. If I took
it to keep it maybe. But--no. I couldn't do such a thing. Not for a
million baby-carriages could I do such a thing. Not for anything could I
keep what is not my own--I tell you, Solly.... [_Pleadingly._] But just
to keep it for a few hours, maybe? Why should a man with so much money
miss a little for a few hours? Then Mr. Rosenbloom--he comes back in. I
change my mind, but the door opens and it is too late already. Solly
leben, did I keep it back--the five dollars? I ask you, Solly? Didn't I
give it all into your hand? I ask you that, Solly?

LEZINSKY. Woe is me!--The mother of my children--and she takes what is
not her own!

MRS. LEZINSKY. So much money and not one dollar to pay Mrs. Rooney for
the baby-carriage! You see, Solly--always fine-dressed people
around--the mamas and the little children all dressed fine--with white
socks and white shoes. And our David--and our Julius--and our Benny,
even--what _must_ they wear? Old clothes! Yes. And to save the money
they should wear black stockings--and old shoes. Never no pretty things!
And it's all the time work--work--work and we never have nothing--no new
clothes--no pretty things--[_She breaks down completely._]

LEZINSKY. So our children grow up with the fear of God in their hearts--

MRS. LEZINSKY. What should little children know of all this pious
business when they must play alone on the stoop with Izzi Klein
together. For why? The Cohen children shouldn't play with our David and
Julius and Benny. They make a snout at them. The Cohens dress them up
stylish and they should play with Gentile children. They push my Benny
in the stomach when he eats an ice-cream cone, and they say--regular--to
my David and Julius: "Sheeny"--the same as if they wasn't Jewish,
too.... Just for once I wanted something lovely and stylish--like other
people have.... Then she asks--only five dollars for the
baby-carriage--and--[_Choking back a sob._] Mrs. Cohen--now, Mrs.
Cohen--she gets it. She gets it and I must want--and want. First
David--then Julius--then comes Benny--and now the little sister--and
never once a baby-carriage! [_Sobs._]

LEZINSKY. We should raise our children to be pious.

    [_There is the sound of trundling wheels. Mrs. Lezinsky looks out.
    The carriage is gone from the window._]

MRS. LEZINSKY [_as the door opens and Mrs. Rooney appears wheeling the
carriage in, low voices_]. Mrs. Rooney, Solly; she comes now to say
good-by. [_Mops her eyes, trys to put on a casual look._]

MRS. ROONEY. Now there you are, Mrs. Lezinsky, blanket and all.

    [_Lezinsky works feverishly without lifting his eyes._]

MRS. LEZINSKY [_low appealing voice_]. You should look at it once,
Solly. [_Lezinsky stops for a moment and lets his eyes rest on the
baby-carriage._] Ain't it a beautiful, stylish baby-carriage, Solly?

MRS. ROONEY. There it is now and I'll be running on for Mrs. Klein's
Anna's keeping Eileen and I have her to dress before her pa comes home.
He's getting off earlier for the moving.

MRS. LEZINSKY. The little Eileen! Why didn't you bring her along with
you, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. She went to sleep on me or I would that.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_her eyes on her husband's face in mute appeal_]. O, Mrs.
Rooney--so little business and so much expense--and my Solly has an
operation for his sick eyes soon--it breaks my heart--but--Mrs. Cohen
[_Shaking voice._] _she_ gets this lovely baby carriage.

MRS. ROONEY [_taking in the situation_]. Mrs. Cohen--_she_ gets it! Does
she now? Not if my name's Rooney does Mrs. Cohen get it and she only
after offering to raise me a dollar to make sure of the baby-carriage,
knowing your sore need of the same. Am I a lady or not, Mr. Lezinsky?
'Tis that I want to know. "I'll give you six dollars for it," says she
to me. Says I to her: "Mrs. Cohen--when I spoke to you of that
baby-carriage," says I, "it clean slipped me mind that I promised the
same to Mrs. Lezinsky. I promised it to Mrs. Lezinsky long ago," says
I--and so I did, though I forget to make mention of it to you at the
time, Mrs. Lezinsky. So here it is and here it stays or my name's not
Rooney.

MRS. LEZINSKY. But so much money we haven't got now--not even for the
operation, Mrs. Rooney.... [_Soft pleading undertone to her husband._]
Only five dollars, Solly!... [_Sinking her voice still lower._]
Anyhow--I don't deserve no baby-carriage--maybe--[_Lezinsky makes no
sign._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. If we could possibly pay for that baby-carriage we keep
it, Mrs. Rooney--[_Turns back to her husband, voice shakes._] for our
Benny and the little sister--yes, Solly? [_She waits and watches him
with mute appeal, then, forcing herself to speak casually._] But it
couldn't be done, Mrs. Rooney--[_Bravely._] Solly should have every
dollar for that operation.

MRS. ROONEY. There now--no more about it! 'Tis your own from this day
out.... You can take your own time to be paying for it.... I'll be
wanting some work done anyhow--when the cold weather sets in.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_between tears and laughter_]. Solly!... Ain't it
wonderful? Mrs. Rooney--she trusts us--for this beautiful
baby-carriage!... O, Mrs. Rooney!

MRS. ROONEY. 'Tis little enough to be doing for my godchild that could
be was she born a Catholic now.

MRS. LEZINSKY. O, Mrs. Rooney, dear Mrs. Rooney! Solly, Solly, we should
have a baby-carriage at last! At last we should have a baby-carriage. O,
Solly, Solly, what a mitzvah! Yes, Solly? [_As Mrs. Rooney starts to
leave._] But your blanket--Mrs. Rooney--

MRS. ROONEY. I'll be throwing that in--for good luck.

MRS. LEZINSKY. It breaks my heart you move away, Mrs. Rooney.

MRS. ROONEY. See you soon. [_Opens the door; looks up the street as she
stands in the doorway._] Here's the kids coming.

MRS. LEZINSKY. My David and Julius and Benny, they could die for joy to
wheel their little sister in this baby-carriage.

MRS. ROONEY. Well, good luck--the both of you--and good-by! [_With a
sense of pride in the greater prosperity which the new address means to
her._] Three thousand and thirty-seven Jerome Avenue--don't forget!

MRS. LEZINSKY [_bending over the baby-carriage_]. Good-by, Mrs.
Rooney--next time you come, maybe you see her in the baby-carriage.
[_Soothing the blanket_]--the little Eileen! [_Turns to her husband as
the door closes._] Yes, Solly?

    [_They look at each other in silence for a moment.--She puts out
    her hands imploringly. His face softens; he lays his hand on her
    shoulder as the three little boys, David, Julius and Benny pass by
    the window. As they come into the shop_


  _the Curtain Falls._]




THE PIERROT OF THE MINUTE

  A DRAMATIC FANTASY

  BY ERNEST DOWSON


  CHARACTERS

    A MOON MAIDEN.
    PIERROT.



THE PIERROT OF THE MINUTE

A DRAMATIC FANTASY BY ERNEST DOWSON


    [SCENE: _A glade in the Parc du Petit Trianon. In the center a
    Doric temple with steps coming down the stage. On the left a
    little Cupid on a pedestal. Twilight._

    _Enter Pierrot with his hands full of lilies. He is burdened with
    a little basket. He stands gazing at the Temple and the Statue._]


PIERROT.

  My journey's end! This surely is the glade
  Which I was promised: I have well obeyed!
  A clue of lilies was I bid to find,
  Where the green alleys most obscurely wind;
  Where tall oaks darkliest canopy o'erhead,
  And moss and violet make the softest bed;
  Where the path ends, and leagues behind me lie
  The gleaming courts and gardens of Versailles;
  The lilies streamed before me, green and white;
  I gathered, following: they led me right,
  To the bright temple and the sacred grove:
  This is, in truth, the very shrine of Love!

    [_He gathers together his flowers and lays them at the foot of
    Cupid's statue; then he goes timidly up the first steps of the
    temple and stops._]

  It is so solitary, I grow afraid.
  Is there no priest here, no devoted maid?
  Is there no oracle, no voice to speak,
  Interpreting to me the word I seek?

    [_A very gentle music of lutes floats out from the temple. Pierrot
    starts back; he shows extreme surprise; then he returns to the
    foreground, and crouches down in rapt attention until the music
    ceases. His face grows puzzled and petulant._]

  Too soon! too soon! in that enchanting strain
  Days yet unlived, I almost lived again:
  It almost taught me that I most would know--
  Why am I here, and why am I Pierrot?

    [_Absently he picks up a lily which has fallen to the ground, and
    repeats._]

  Why came I here, and why am I Pierrot?
  That music and this silence both affright;
  Pierrot can never be a friend of night.
  I never felt my solitude before--
  Once safe at home, I will return no more.
  Yet the commandment of the scroll was plain;
  While the light lingers let me read again.

    [_He takes a scroll from his bosom and reads._]

  "He loves to-night who never loved before;
  Who ever loved, to-night shall love once more."
  I never loved! I know not what love is.
  I am so ignorant--but what is this?

    [_Reads._]

  "Who would adventure to encounter Love
  Must rest one night within this hallowed grove.
  Cast down thy lilies, which have led thee on,
  Before the tender feet of Cupidon."
  Thus much is done, the night remains to me.
  Well, Cupidon, be my security!
  Here is more writing, but too faint to read.

    [_He puzzles for a moment, then casts the scroll down._]

  Hence, vain old parchment. I have learnt thy rede!

    [_He looks round uneasily, starts at his shadow; then discovers
    his basket with glee. He takes out a flask of wine, pours it into
    a glass, and drinks._]

  Courage _mon Ami_! I shall never miss
  Society with such a friend as this.
  How merrily the rosy bubbles pass,
  Across the amber crystal of the glass.
  I had forgotten you. Methinks this quest
  Can wake no sweeter echo in my breast.

    [_Looks round at the statue, and starts._]

  Nay, little god! forgive. I did but jest.

    [_He fills another glass, and pours it upon the statue._]

  This libation, Cupid, take,
    With the lilies at thy feet;
  Cherish Pierrot for their sake,
    Send him visions strange and sweet,
  While he slumbers at thy feet.
    Only love kiss him awake!
      _Only love kiss him awake!_

    [_Slowly falls the darkness, soft music plays, while Pierrot
    gathers together fern and foliage into a rough couch at the foot
    of the steps which lead to the Temple d'Amour. Then he lies down
    upon it, having made his prayer. It is night. He speaks softly._]

  Music, more music, far away and faint:
  It is an echo of mine heart's complaint.
  Why should I be so musical and sad?
  I wonder why I used to be so glad?
  In single glee I chased blue butterflies,
  Half butterfly myself, but not so wise,
  For they were twain, and I was only one.
  Ah me! how pitiful to be alone.
  My brown birds told me much, but in mine ear
  They never whispered this--I learned it here:
  The soft wood sounds, the rustling in the breeze,
  Are but the stealthy kisses of the trees.
  Each flower and fern in this enchanted wood
  Leans to her fellow, and is understood;
  The eglantine, in loftier station set,
  Stoops down to woo the maidly violet.
  In gracile pairs the very lilies grow:
  None is companionless except Pierrot.
  Music, more music! how its echoes steal
  Upon my senses with unlooked for weal.
  Tired am I, tired, and far from this lone glade
  Seems mine old joy in rout and masquerade.
  Sleep cometh over me, now will I prove,
  By Cupid's grace, what is this thing called love.

    [_Sleeps._]

    [_There is more music of lutes for an interval, during which a
    bright radiance, white and cold, streams from the temple upon the
    face of Pierrot. Presently a Moon Maiden steps out of the temple;
    she descends and stands over the sleeper._]

THE LADY.

      Who is this mortal
        Who ventures to-night
      To woo an immortal?
        Cold, cold the moon's light,
      For sleep at this portal,
        Bold lover of night.
      Fair is the mortal
        In soft, silken white,
      Who seeks an immortal.
        Ah, lover of night,
      Be warned at the portal,
        And save thee in flight!

    [_She stoops over him; Pierrot stirs in his sleep._]

PIERROT [_murmuring_].

  Forget not, Cupid. Teach me all thy lore:
  "_He loves to-night who never loved before._"

THE LADY.

  Unwitting boy! when, be it soon or late,
  What Pierrot ever has escaped his fate?
  What if I warned him! He might yet evade,
  Through the long windings of this verdant glade;
  Seek his companions in the blither way,
  Which, else, must be as lost as yesterday.
  So might he still pass some unheeding hours
  In the sweet company of birds and flowers.
  How fair he is, with red lips formed for joy,
  As softly curved as those of Venus' boy.
  Methinks his eyes, beneath their silver sheaves,
  Rest tranquilly like lilies under leaves.
  Arrayed in innocence, what touch of grace
  Reveals the scion of a courtly race?
  Well, I will warn him, though, I fear, too late--
  What Pierrot ever has escaped his fate?
  But, see, he stirs, new knowledge fires his brain,
  And cupid's vision bids him wake again.
  Dione's Daughter! but how fair he is,
  Would it be wrong to rouse him with a kiss?

    [_She stoops down and kisses him, then withdraws into the shadow._]

PIERROT [_rubbing his eyes_].

  Celestial messenger! remain, remain;
  Or, if a vision, visit me again!
  What is this light, and whither am I come
  To sleep beneath the stars so far from home?

    [_Rises slowly to his feet._]

  Stay, I remember this is Venus' Grove,
  And I am hither come to encounter--

THE LADY [_coming forward, but veiled_].

                                Love!

PIERROT [_in ecstasy, throwing himself at her feet_].

  Then have I ventured and encountered Love?

THE LADY.

  Not yet, rash boy! and, if thou wouldst be wise,
  Return unknowing; he is safe who flies.

PIERROT.

  Never, sweet lady, will I leave this place
  Until I see the wonder of thy face.
  Goddess or Naiad! lady of this Grove,
  Made mortal for a night to teach me love,
  Unveil thyself, although thy beauty be
  Too luminous for my mortality.

THE LADY [_unveiling_].

  Then, foolish boy, receive at length thy will:
  Now knowest thou the greatness of thine ill.

PIERROT.

  Now have I lost my heart, and gained my goal.

THE LADY.

  Didst thou not read the warning on the scroll?

    [_Picks up the parchment._]

PIERROT.

  I read it all, as on this quest I fared,
  Save where it was illegible and hard.

THE LADY.

  Alack! poor scholar, wast thou never taught
  A little knowledge serveth less than naught?
  Hadst thou perused--but, stay, I will explain
  What was the writing which thou didst disdain.

    [_Reads._]

  "_Au Petit Trianon_, at night's full noon,
  Mortal, beware the kisses of the moon!
  Whoso seeks her she gathers like a flower--
  He gives a life, and only gains an hour."

PIERROT [_laughing recklessly_].

  Bear me away to thine enchanted bower,
  All of my life I venture for an hour.

THE LADY.

  Take up thy destiny of short delight;
  I am thy lady for a summer's night,
  Lift up your viols, maidens of my train,
  And work such havoc on this mortal's brain
  That for a moment he may touch and know
  Immortal things, and be full Pierrot,
  White music, Nymphs! Violet and Eglantine!
  To stir his tired veins like magic wine,
  What visitants across his spirit glance,
  Lying on lilies, while he watch me dance?
  Watch, and forget all weary things on earth,
  All memories and cares, all joy and mirth,
  While my dance woos him, light and rhythmical,
  And weaves his heart into my coronal.
  Music, more music for his soul's delight:
  Love is his lady for a summer's night.

    [_Pierrot reclines, and gazes at her while she dances. The dance
    finished, she beckons to him: he rises dreamily, and stands at her
    side._]

PIERROT.

  Whence came, dear Queen, such magic melody?

THE LADY.

  Pan made it long ago in Arcady.

PIERROT.

  I heard it long ago, I know not where,
  As I knew thee, or ever I came here.
  But I forgot all things--my name and race,
  All that I ever knew except thy face.
  Who art thou, lady? Breathe a name to me,
  That I may tell it like a rosary.
  Thou, whom I sought, dear Dryad of the trees,
  How art thou designate--art thou Heart's-Ease?

THE LADY.

  Waste not the night in idle questioning,
  Since Love departs at dawn's awakening.

PIERROT.

  Nay, thou art right; what recks thy name or state,
  Since thou art lovely and passionate.
  Play out thy will on me: I am thy lyre.

THE LADY.

  I am to each the face of his desire.

PIERROT.

  I am not Pierrot, but Venus' dove,
  Who craves a refuge on the breast of love.

THE LADY.

  What wouldst thou of the maiden of the moon?
  Until the cock crow I may grant thy boon.

PIERROT.

  Then, sweet Moon Maiden, in some magic car,
  Wrought wondrously of many a homeless star--
  Such must attend thy journeys through the skies,--
  Drawn by a team of milk-white butterflies,
  Whom, with soft voice and music of thy maids,
  Thou urgest gently through the heavenly glades;
  Mount me beside thee, bear me far away
  From the low regions of the solar day;
  Over the rainbow, up into the moon,
  Where is thy palace and thine opal throne;
  There on thy bosom--

THE LADY.

              Too ambitious boy!
  I did but promise thee one hour of joy.
  This tour thou plannest, with a heart so light,
  Could hardly be completed in a night.
  Hast thou no craving less remote than this?

PIERROT.

  Would it be impudent to beg a kiss?

THE LADY.

  I say not that: yet prithee have a care!
  Often audacity has proved a snare.
  How wan and pale do moon-kissed roses grow--
  Does thou not fear my kisses, Pierrot?

PIERROT.

  As one who faints upon the Libyan plain
  Fears the oasis which brings life again!

THE LADY.

  Where far away green palm trees seem to stand
  May be a mirage of the wreathing sand.

PIERROT.

  Nay, dear enchantress, I consider naught,
  Save mine own ignorance, which would be taught.

THE LADY.

  Dost thou persist?

PIERROT.

              I do entreat this boon!

    [_She bends forward, their lips meet: she withdraws with a
    petulant shiver. She utters a peal of clear laughter._]

THE LADY.

  Why art thou pale, fond lover of the moon?

PIERROT.

  Cold are thy lips, more cold than I can tell;
  Yet would I hang on them, thine icicle!
  Cold is thy kiss, more cold than I could dream
  Arctus sits, watching the Boreal stream:
  But with its frost such sweetness did conspire
  That all my veins are filled with running fire;
  Never I knew that life contained such bliss
  As the divine completeness of a kiss.

THE LADY.

  Apt scholar! so love's lesson has been taught,
  Warning, as usual, has gone for naught.

PIERROT.

  Had all my schooling been of this soft kind,
  To play the truant I were less inclined.
  Teach me again! I am a sorry dunce--
  I never knew a task by conning once.

THE LADY.

  Then come with me! below this pleasant shrine
  Of Venus we will presently recline,
  Until birds' twitter beckon me away
  To my own home, beyond the milky-way.
  I will instruct thee, for I deem as yet
  Of Love thou knowest but the alphabet.

PIERROT.

  In its sweet grammar I shall grow most wise,
  If all its rules be written in thine eyes.

    [_The Lady sits upon a step of the temple, and Pierrot leans upon
    his elbow at her feet, regarding her._]

  Sweet contemplation! how my senses yearn to be thy scholar always,
    always learn.
  Hold not so high from me thy radiant mouth,
  Fragrant with all the spices of the South;
  Nor turn, O sweet! thy golden face away,
  For with it goes the light of all my day.
  Let me peruse it, till I know by rote
  Each line of it, like music, note by note;
  Raise thy long lashes, Lady; smile again:
  These studies profit me.

    [_Takes her hand._]

THE LADY.

                Refrain, refrain!

PIERROT [_with passion_].

  I am but studious, so do not stir;
  Thou art my star, I thine astronomer!
  Geometry was founded on thy lip.

    [_Kisses her hand._]

THE LADY.

  This attitude becomes not scholarship!
  Thy zeal I praise; but, prithee, not so fast,
  Nor leave the rudiments until the last,
  Science applied is good, but 'twere a schism
  To study such before the catechism.
  Bear thee more modestly, while I submit
  Some easy problems to confirm thy wit.

PIERROT.

  In all humility my mind I pit
  Against her problems which would test my wit.

THE LADY [_questioning him from a little book bound deliciously in
vellum_].

          What is Love?
      Is it folly,
      Is it mirth, or melancholy?
          Joys above,
      Are there many, or not any?
          What is love?

PIERROT [_answering in a very humble attitude of scholarship_].

          If you please,
      A most sweet folly!
      Full of mirth and melancholy:
          Both of these!
      In its sadness worth all gladness,
          If you please!

THE LADY.

          Prithee where,
      Goes Love a-hiding?
      Is he long in his abiding
          Anywhere?
      Can you bind him when you find him;
          Prithee, where?

PIERROT.

          With spring days
      Love comes and dallies:
      Upon the mountains, through the valleys
          Lie Love's ways.
      Then he leaves you and deceives you
          In spring days.

THE LADY.

  Thine answers please me: 'tis thy turn to ask.
  To meet thy questioning be now my task.

PIERROT.

      Since I know thee, dear Immortal,
      Is my heart become a blossom,
      To be worn upon thy bosom.
      When thou turn me from this portal,
      Whither shall I, hapless mortal,
      Seek love out and win again
      Heart of me that thou retain?

THE LADY.

      In and out the woods and valleys,
      Circling, soaring like a swallow,
      Love shall flee and thou shalt follow:
      Though he stops awhile and dallies,
      Never shalt thou stay his malice!
      Moon-kissed mortals seek in vain
      To possess their hearts again!

PIERROT.

      Tell me, Lady, shall I never
      Rid me of this grievous burden!
      Follow Love and find his guerdon
      In no maiden whatsoever?
      Wilt thou hold my heart forever?
      Rather would I thine forget,
      In some earthly Pierrette!

THE LADY.

      Thus thy fate, what'er thy will is!
      Moon-struck child, go seek my traces
      Vainly in all mortal faces!
      In and out among the lilies,
      Court each rural Amaryllis:
      Seek the signet of Love's hand
      In each courtly Corisande!

PIERROT.

  Now, verily, sweet maid, of school I tire;
  These answers are not such as I desire.

THE LADY.

  Why art thou sad?

PIERROT.

                    I dare not tell.

THE LADY [_caressingly_].

                          Come, say!

PIERROT.

  Is love all schooling, with no time to play?

THE LADY.

  Though all love's lessons be a holiday,
  Yet I will humor thee: what wouldst thou play?

PIERROT.

  What are the games that small moon-maids enjoy:
  Or is their time all spent in staid employ?

THE LADY.

  Sedate they are, yet games they much enjoy:
  They skip with stars, the rainbow is their toy.

PIERROT.

  That is too hard!

THE LADY.

        For mortal's play.

PIERROT.

                          What then?

THE LADY.

  Teach me some pastime from the world of men.

PIERROT.

  I have it, maiden.

THE LADY.

              Can it soon be taught?

PIERROT.

  A single game, I learnt it at the Court.

THE LADY.

          But, prithee, not so near.

PIERROT.

  That is essential, as will soon appear.
  Lay here thine hand, which cold night dews anoint,
  Washing its white--

THE LADY.

          Now is this to the point?

PIERROT.

  Prithee, forbear! Such is the game's design.

THE LADY.

  Here is my hand.

PIERROT.

              I cover it with mine.

THE LADY.

  What must I next?

    [_They play._]

PIERROT.

            Withdraw.

THE LADY.

                  It goes too fast.

    [_They continue playing, until Pierrot catches her hand._]

PIERROT [_laughing_].

  'Tis done. I win my forfeit at the last.

    [_He tries to embrace her. She escapes; he chases her round the
    stage; she eludes him._]

THE LADY.

  Thou art not quick enough. Who hopes to catch
  A moon-beam, must use twice as much dispatch.

PIERROT [_sitting down sulkily_].

  I grow aweary, and my heart is sore.
  Thou dost not love me; I will play no more.

    [_He buries his face in his hands. The Lady stands over him._]

THE LADY.

  What is this petulance?

PIERROT.

                'Tis quick to tell--
  Thou hast but mocked me.

THE LADY.

              Nay! I love thee well!

PIERROT.

  Repeat those words, for still within my breast
  A whisper warns me they are said in jest.

THE LADY.

  I jested not: at daybreak I must go,
  Yet loving thee far better than thou know.

PIERROT.

  Then, by this altar, and this sacred shrine,
  Take my sworn troth, and swear thee wholly mine!
  The gods have wedded mortals long ere this.

THE LADY.

  There was enough betrothal in my kiss.
  What need of further oaths?

PIERROT.

                That bound not thee!

THE LADY.

  Peace! since I tell thee that it may not be.
  But sit beside me whilst I soothe thy bale
  With some moon fancy or celestial tale.

PIERROT.

  Tell me of thee, and that dimy, happy place
  Where lies thine home, with maidens of thy race!

THE LADY [_seating herself_].

  Calm is it yonder, very calm; the air
  For mortals' breath is too refined and rare;
  Hard by a green lagoon our palace rears
  Its dome of agate through a myriad years.
  A hundred chambers its bright walls enthrone,
  Each one carved strangely from a precious stone.
  Within the fairest, clad in purity,
  Our mother dwelleth immemorially:
  Moon-calm, moon-pale, with moon stones on her gown,
  The floor she treads with little pearls is sown;
  She sits upon a throne of amethysts,
  And orders mortal fortunes as she lists;
  I, and my sisters, all around her stand,
  And, when she speaks, accomplish her demand.

PIERROT.

  Methought grim Clotho and her sisters twain
  With shriveled fingers spun this web of bane!

THE LADY.

  Theirs and my mother's realm is far apart;
  Hers is the lustrous kingdom of the heart,
  And dreamers all, and all who sing and love,
  Her power acknowledge, and her rule approve.

PIERROT.

  Me, even me, she hath led into this grove.

THE LADY.

  Yea, thou art one of hers! But, ere this night,
  Often I watched my sisters take their flight
  Down heaven's stairway of the clustered stars
  To gaze on mortals through their lattice bars;
  And some in sleep they woo with dreams of bliss
  Too shadowy to tell, and some they kiss.
  But all to whom they come, my sisters say,
  Forthwith forget all joyance of the day,
  Forget their laughter and forget their tears,
  And dream away with singing all their years--
  Moon-lovers always!

    [_She sighs._]

PIERROT.

            Why art sad, sweet Moon?

    [_Laughs._]

THE LADY.

  For this, my story, grant me now a boon.

PIERROT.

  I am thy servitor.

THE LADY.

                Would, then, I knew
  More of the earth, what men and women do.

PIERROT.

  I will explain.

THE LADY.

                Let brevity attend
  Thy wit, for night approaches to its end.

PIERROT.

  Once was I a page at Court, so trust in me:
  That's the first lesson of society.

THE LADY.

  Society?

PIERROT.

            I mean the very best
  Pardy! thou wouldst not hear about the rest.
  I know it not, but am a petit maître
  At rout and festival and bal champêtre.
  But since example be instruction's ease,
  Let's play the thing.--Now, Madame, if you please!

    [_He helps her to rise, and leads her forward: then he kisses her
    hand, bowing over it with a very courtly air._]

THE LADY.

  What am I, then?

PIERROT.

          A most divine Marquise!
  Perhaps that attitude hath too much ease.

    [_Passes her._]

  Ah, that is better! To complete the plan,
  Nothing is necessary save a fan.

THE LADY.

  Cool is the night, what needs it?

PIERROT.

                        Madame, pray
  Reflect, it is essential to our play.

THE LADY [_taking a lily_].

  Here is my fan!

PIERROT.

            So, use it with intent:
  The deadliest arm in beauty's armament!

THE LADY.

  What do we next?

PIERROT.

                We talk!

THE LADY.

                    But what about?

PIERROT.

  We quiz the company and praise the rout;
  Are polished, petulant, malicious, sly,
  Or what you will, so reputations die.
  Observe the Duchess in Venetian lace,
  With the red eminence.

THE LADY.

                      A pretty face!

PIERROT.

  For something tarter set thy wits to search--
  "She loves the churchman better than the church."

THE LADY.

  Her blush is charming; would it were her own!

PIERROT.

  Madame is merciless!

THE LADY.

                  Is that the tone?

PIERROT.

  The very tone: I swear thou lackest naught.
  Madame was evidently bred at Court.

THE LADY.

  Thou speakest glibly: 'tis not of thine age.

PIERROT.

  I listened much, as best becomes a page.

THE LADY.

  I like thy Court but little--

PIERROT.

                  Hush! the Queen!
  Bow, but not low--thou knowest what I mean.

THE LADY.

  Nay, that I know not!

PIERROT.

          Though she wears a crown,
  'Tis from La Pompadour one fears a frown.

THE LADY.

  Thou art a child: thy malice is a game.

PIERROT.

  A most sweet pastime--scandal is its name.

THE LADY.

  Enough, it wearies me.

PIERROT.

                Then, rare Marquise,
  Desert the crowd to wander through the trees.

    [_He bows low, and she curtsies; they move round the stage. When
    they pass before the Statue he seizes her hand and falls on his
    knee._]

THE LADY.

  What wouldst thou now?

PIERROT.

       Ah, prithee, what, save thee!

THE LADY.

  Was this included in thy comedy?

PIERROT.

  Ah, mock me not! In vain with quirk and jest
  I strive to quench the passion in my breast;
  In vain thy blandishments would make me play:
  Still I desire far more than I can say.
  My knowledge halts, ah, sweet, be piteous,
  Instruct me still, while time remains to us,
  Be what thou wist, Goddess, moon-maid, _Marquise_,
  So that I gather from thy lips heart's ease,
  Nay, I implore thee, think thee how time flies!

THE LADY.

  Hush! I beseech thee, even now night dies.

PIERROT.

  Night, day, are one to me for thy soft sake.

    [_He entreats her with imploring gestures, she hesitates: then
    puts her finger on her lip, hushing him._]

THE LADY.

  It is too late, for hark! the birds awake.

PIERROT.

  The birds awake! It is the voice of day!

THE LADY.

  Farewell, dear youth! They summon me away.

    [_The light changes, it grows daylight: and the music imitates the
    twitter of the birds. They stand gazing at the morning: then
    Pierrot sinks back upon his bed, he covers his face in his
    hands._]

THE LADY [_bending over him_].

  Music, my maids! His weary senses steep
  In soft untroubled and oblivious sleep,
  With Mandragore anoint his tired eyes,
  That they may open on mere memories,
  Then shall a vision seem his lost delight,
  With love, his lady for a summer night.
  Dream thou hast dreamt all this, when thou awake,
  Yet still be sorrowful, for a dream's sake.
  I leave thee, sleeper! Yea, I leave thee now,
  Yet take my legacy upon thy brow:
  Remember me, who was compassionate,
  And opened for thee once, the ivory gate.
  I come no more, thou shalt not see my face
  When I am gone to mine exalted place:
  Yet all thy days are mine, dreamer of dreams,
  All silvered over with the moon's pale beams:
  Go forth and seek in each fair face in vain,
  To find the image of thy love again.
  All maids are kind to thee, yet never one
  Shall hold thy truant heart till day be done.
  Whom once the moon has kissed, loves long and late,
  Yet never finds the maid to be his mate.
  Farewell, dear sleeper, follow out thy fate.

    [_The Moon Maiden withdraws: a song is sung from behind: it is
    full day._]


THE MOON MAIDEN'S SONG

      Sleep! Cast thy canopy
        Over this sleeper's brain,
      Dim grows his memory,
        When he awake again.

      Love stays a summer night,
        Till lights of morning come;
      Then takes her wingèd flight
        Back to her starry home.

      Sleep! Yet thy days are mine;
        Love's seal is over thee:
      Far though my ways from thine,
        Dim though thy memory.

      Love stays a summer night,
        Till lights of morning come;
      Then takes her wingèd flight
        Back to her starry home.

    [_When the song is finished, the curtain falls upon Pierrot
    sleeping._]


_EPILOGUE_

[_Spoken in the character of PIERROT_]

  _The sun is up, yet ere a body stirs,
  A word with you, sweet ladies and dear sirs,_

  [_Although on no account let any say
  That PIERROT finished Mr. Dowson's play_].

  _One night not long ago, at Baden Baden,--
  The birthday of the Duke,--his pleasure garden
  Was lighted gayly with_ feu d'artifice,
  _With candles, rockets, and a center-piece
  Above the conversation house, on high,
  Outlined in living fire against the sky,
  A glittering_ Pierrot, _radiant, white,
  Whose heart beat fast, who danced with sheer delight,
  Whose eyes were blue, whose lips were rosy red,
  Whose_ pompons _too were fire, while on his head
  He wore a little cap, and I am told
  That rockets covered him with showers of gold.
  "Take our applause, you well deserve to win it,"
  They cried: "Bravo! the_ Pierrot _of the minute!"_

  _What with applause and gold, one must confess
  That Pierrot had "arrived," achieved success,
  When, as it happened, presently, alas!
  A terrible disaster came to pass.
  His nose grew dim, the people gave a shout,
  His red lips paled, both his blue eyes went out.
  There rose a sullen sound of discontent,
  The golden shower of rockets was all spent;
  He left off dancing with a sudden jerk,
  For he was nothing but a firework.
  The garden darkened and the people in it
  Cried, "He is dead,--the_ Pierrot _of the minute!"_

  _With every artist it is even so;
  The artist, after all, is a_ Pierrot--
  _A_ Pierrot _of the minute, naïf, clever,
  But Art is back of him, She lives for ever!_

  _Then pardon my Moon Maid and me, because
  We craved the golden shower of your applause!
  Pray shrive us both for having tried to win it,
  And cry, "Bravo! The_ Pierrot _of the minute!"_




THE SUBJECTION OF KEZIA

  A PLAY

  BY MRS. HAVELOCK ELLIS


  Copyright, 1915, by Edith M. O. Ellis.
  As Author and Proprietor.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS IN THE PLAY.

    JOE PENGILLY.
    KEZIA [_Joe Pengilly's wife_].
    MATTHEW TREVASKIS [_a friend of the Pengillys_].

  THE SCENE _is laid in a Cornish village_.
  TIME: _The Present_.

  _The whole action of the play takes place between seven o'clock
  and nine o'clock on a Saturday evening._


  Reprinted from "Love in Danger" by permission of and special
  arrangements with, Houghton, Mifflin Company.

  The professional and amateur stage rights on this play are
  strictly reserved by the author, to whose dramatic agent, Miss
  Galbraith Welch, 101 Park Avenue, New York, applications for
  permission to produce it should be made.



THE SUBJECTION OF KEZIA

A PLAY BY MRS. HAVELOCK ELLIS


    [SCENE: _Interior of a cottage kitchen in a Cornish fishing
    village. The walls are distempered a pale blue; the ceiling wooden
    and beamed. Middle of back wall, a kitchen-range where fire is
    burning. At back R. is a door opening into an inner room. At back
    L. small cupboards. At side L. is a large kitchen-table laid for
    tea under a window facing sea. The floor is red brick. On
    mantelpiece, white china dogs, clock, copper candlesticks,
    tea-caddy, stirrups, and bits. On walls, family framed
    photographs, religious framed pictures. Below table is a door
    leading into street. Behind door, roller with hanging towel. Usual
    kitchen paraphernalia, chairs, pots and pans, etc. Cat basket with
    straw to R. of range. At back R. is a wooden settle with good
    upright sides. Joe Pengilly is wiping his face and hands, having
    just come in from the pump outside. He sighs and glances uneasily
    at Kezia, who has her back turned to him, and is frying mackerel
    at the stove. He rolls down his sleeves slowly and watches his
    wife uneasily. He is dressed as a laborer--corduroy trousers,
    hob-nailed boots, blue-and-white shirt, open throat. He takes down
    a sleeved waistcoat from a peg behind the door and puts it on. He
    is a slight man with thin light hair, gentle in manner, but with a
    strong keen face. Kezia is a little taller than Joe--slender and
    graceful, with a clean cotton dress fitting well to her figure; a
    clean apron, well-dressed and tidy hair; good-looking and
    energetic. Joe smiles to himself and crosses his arms and shuffles
    his feet as he looks towards Kezia. Kezia turns round suddenly and
    looks at him sideways, the cooking-fork in one hand and the handle
    of the frying-pan in the other. Joe sits down at table._]


KEZIA. Why didn't thee speak?

JOE. Nothin' to say, my dear.

KEZIA. Thee's not much company, for sure.

    [_Joe laughs and leans his arms on the table as he looks at Kezia;
    his face beams as he watches her landing the fish from the
    bubbling fat to a dish. She puts some on a plate in front of Joe,
    and pours out tea in a large cup. She suddenly looks at him as he
    begins picking off the tail of his mackerel with his fingers._]

KEZIA. Cain't thee answer?

JOE. To what?

KEZIA [_snappily_]. Why, to me, of course.

    [_Joe takes a long drink of tea and gazes at her over his cup._]

JOE. Thee'rt a great beauty, Kezia, sure enough!

    [_He puts the cup down and goes on picking his fish with the
    fingers of one hand, while the other holds bread and butter._]

KEZIA. There you are again; always either grumblin' or jeerin' at me.

JOE. I'm not doin' neither, woman. I'm tryin' for to make up for
thrawtin' of you this mornin' over they soaked crusties as I gave the
cat and ruined the nice clean floor.

KEZIA. Now [_angrily_], just when I were forgettin' all about it, of
course you must bring it all up again, and you're tryin' now [_pointing
at the fish_] all thee knows how, to make the tablecloth like a
dish-clout with thy great greasy fingers!

    [_Joe licks his fingers, one by one, and wipes them on his trousers,
    as he smiles into her cross face._]

KEZIA. Gracious! [_whimpering_] that's thee all over. Thee gives up one
dirty trick for another. I believe you only married me to clean and tidy
after you.

    [_Joe laughs heartily and looks up at her._]

JOE. Heart alive! I married you because you are the only woman I've ever
met in my life I could never weary of, not even if you tormented me
night and day. Love of 'e, my dear, seemly, makes a real fool of me most
of my time.

    [_His face becomes very grave, and Kezia's brow clears as she sits
    down and begins to eat._]

KEZIA. You was always one for pretty talk, Joe, but you're not a bit
what you were i' deeds lately.

    [_Joe hands his cup for more tea._]

JOE. 'Cause you snap me up so.

KEZIA. There you are again, tryin' to pick a quarrel.

    [_Joe pulls his chair away from the table and drags it nearer the
    grate. He takes his pipe from his pocket and blows into it._]

KEZIA. Now, Joe, you know I cain't abide that 'baccy smell: it gives me
a headache.

JOE. It gives me a headache to do without 'baccy.

    [_Joe polishes his pipe-bowl on his sleeve, puts the stem in his
    mouth, and takes out some shag. Kezia watches him as she removes
    the tea-things. Joe watches her out of the corner of his eye as he
    slowly fills his pipe._]

KEZIA. I'm fair wore out.

    [_Joe gets up, puts his pipe on the mantelpiece and his knife and
    shag in his pocket, and advances towards Kezia. He puts his hands
    on her shoulders and looks in her eyes._]

JOE. Kiss us, old girl!

KEZIA. Don't be so silly. I don't feel like it at all, and I want to be
with mother again.

JOE. And married only two years!

KEZIA. It seems like six to me.

JOE. What ails thee, lass?

KEZIA. Don't keep allus askin' questions and bein' so quarrelsome; I'm
mazed at the sight of 'e, sure enough. [_She folds the cloth, pokes the
fire, goes into the inner room, at back R., and comes in again with her
hat and shawl on and a basket in her hand. She looks at Joe, and wipes
her eyes._] You can sit there as long as you've a mind to, and smoke
insides black and blue. I'm going to market a bit, and then I shall go
into Blanch Sally and talk to she. She've got a bit of common sense.
It's just on eight o'clock, and I shan't be more nor an hour or so.

    [_Joe does not stir as Kezia goes out of the front door. Kezia
    looks back to see if he'll turn, but he does not move. He gazes
    into the fire with his hands clasped behind his head, and his
    chair tilted back._]

JOE. I'd as soon be a dog as a man, sure enough! They can sit by the
fire and be comfortable. [_He jumps up suddenly as he hears a knock at
the door._] Come in!

    [_The street door opens softly, and Matthew Trevaskis comes in
    very quietly. He is a stout, short man with bushy hair and a
    beard. He also is dressed as a laborer. He looks at Joe and gives
    a low whistle._]

MATTHEW. Hallo, mate!

JOE. Oh! you?

    [_Joe sits down again, points to another chair, and looks gloomily
    back into the fire._]

MATTHEW. Well, brother! Thee looks as if thee'd run out o' speerits and
'baccy both.

JOE. I'm moody, like a thing.

    [_Matthew laughs and draws his chair up close to Joe. He pulls
    down his waistcoat, and then puts his fingers in the arm-holes, as
    he contemplates Joe._]

MATTHEW. Got the hump, mate? Have 'e?

    [_Joe shakes his head dolefully from side to side and sighs._]

MATTHEW. Jaw, I suppose?

    [_Joe nods._]

MATTHEW. Thought so. I met the missus as I came along looking a bit
teasy. Women's the devil that way; it's in their breed and bone, like
fightin' in we. You began all wrong, like me, mate, and females always
takes advantage of honeymoon ways, and stamps on we if we don't take 'em
in hand at once.

    [_Joe sighs, crosses his legs and looks at his friend._]

JOE. Drat it all! I never began no different to what I am now. I cain't
make things up at all. I'm fairly mazed, never having had dealin's with
no female, except mother, who was mostly ill, and never in tantrums.

    [_Matthew rises, pokes Joe in the ribs and laughs._]

MATTHEW. Cheer up, brother, there's no bigger fool than a man as is sent
crazy with a woman.

JOE. Women is mazy things.

MATTHEW. There's allus 'baccy for to fortify us against them, thanks be.

    [_Matthew draws a little black clay pipe out of his waistcoat
    pocket and points to Joe's pipe on the mantelpiece as he sits
    down._]

JOE. Kezia 'ates 'baccy in the house.

MATTHEW. Smoke all the time then; it's the only way.

    [_Joe smiles and smoothes his thin straight hair._]

JOE. You allus forgets I'm bent on pleasin' of Kezia.

    [_Matthew stretches out his legs, and his face becomes calm and
    thoughtful. He speaks very deliberately._]

MATTHEW. The more thee tries to please women, mate, the more crotchety
they becomes. Within bounds I keep the peace in our place like a judge,
but she've learnt, Jane Ann have, that I'll put my foot down on any
out-of-the-way tantrums. Give them their heads and they'll soon have we
by the heels.

JOE. Sometimes I wonder if we give 'em their heads enough. Perhaps
they'd domineer less if we left 'em take their own grainy ways.

MATTHEW. You bet! If I gave in to Jane Ann entirely, where the devil do
'e think I should be at all?

    [_The two men laugh together and light their pipes and smoke hard._]

JOE. I've no notion.

MATTHEW. Well! I should be like a cat out in the rain, never certain
where to put my feet. As it is, as you do know, I cain't keep no dog for
fear of the mess its feet 'ud make on the floor; I cain't have a magpie
in a cage 'cause its seed 'ud 'appen fall on the table. I've got to walk
ginger like a rooster in wet grass for fear o' disturbin' the sand on
the clean floor, and I rubs my feet on the mat afore I goes in to my
meals enough to split it in half. I gives in to all things 'cause I was
took captive over them, in a manner of speaking, almost afore I'd
finished courting, and it takes years to understand women's fancies!
It's worse nor any book learnin', is understandin' women; and then, when
you think you've learnt 'em off by heart, any man 'ud fail under a first
standard examination on 'em. [_He gets up and shakes Joe by the
shoulder._] Listen to me, mate! Bein' a real pal to thee, Joe, I'm
warnin' of 'e now afore it's too late, for thee's only been wed two
years, and there's time to alter things yet.

    [_Joe suddenly gets up and goes to the door to see if it is
    fastened, and returns to face his friend. He takes off his
    long-sleeved waistcoat and throws it on a chair, after putting
    down his pipe._]

JOE. Matthey!

MATTHEW. Yes?

JOE. Don't you think it is too late even now?

MATTHEW. Fur what? It's no use speakin' i' riddles, man. Trust or no
trust--that's my plan. Thee's the only livin' man or woman, for the
matter of that, as I've blackened Jane Ann to, and if it'll ease thy
mind to tell what's worritin' of thee, you do know it's as safe as if
you'd dropt your secret into the mouth of a mine shaft.

JOE. Done! Give me a hearing and let's have finished with it.

    [_Matthew cleans out the bowl of his pipe and knocks the ashes out
    against the grate as he waits for his friend to begin. Joe stands
    first on one leg and then on the other and gives a long whistle._]

MATTHEW. Sling along. It won't get no easier wi' keeping.

    [_Joe wipes his forehead with a red handkerchief, which he takes
    out of his trouser pocket._]

JOE. Awkward kind o' work, pullin' your lawful wife to bits.

MATTHEW. It'll get easier as thee goes on, man. I'll help thee. What's
the row to-day?

JOE. Crusties.

    [_Matthew winks at Joe and lights his pipe again._]

MATTHEW. It's always some feeble thing like that as makes confusion in a
house. Jane Ann began just like that. Dirty boots in the best parlor was
my first offense, and it raised hell in our house for nigh on a whole
day.

JOE. Well, I never! It was just the same thing in a way with me. I
soaked the crusties in my tea this mornin' and threw 'em to the cat
under the table, and I suppose I must 'ave put my foot in 'em, for Kezia
went off like a thing gone mazy. She stormed and said--[_he sits down
and wipes his forehead again with his handkerchief as he pauses_]--as
she were a fool to take me, and all sorts, and then she cried fit to
kill herself, and when I spoke she told me to hold my noise, and when I
didn't speak she said I'd no feelin's, and was worse nor a stone. We
scarcely spoke at dinner-time. She said she wished she was dead, and
wanted her mother, and that, bein' a man, I was worse nor a devil; and
when I kept on eatin' she said she wondered the food didn't choke me,
and when I stopped eatin' she said I was never pleased wi' nothin' she'd
got ready for me. My head is sore with the clang of the teasy things she
drove into me, and I'm not good at replies, as you do know.

    [_Joe ends in a weary voice and pokes the fire listlessly. Matthew
    smokes hard and his eyes are on the ground._]

MATTHEW. Women be mysteries, and without little uns they'm worse nor
monsters. A child do often alter and soften 'em, but a childless woman
is as near a wolf as anything I do know.

    [_Joe's elbows sink on his knees and his hands support his
    woebegone face. When he next speaks he has a catch in his voice,
    and he speaks quickly._]

JOE. That's it, is it?

MATTHEW. Iss, mate! That's the mischief. Unless--[_he looks up suddenly
at Joe_]--perhaps she be goin' to surprise 'e by telling 'e she be going
to have a little one. That would account for her bein' teasy and moody.

    [_Joe laughs sorrowfully._]

JOE. Lor', I should be the first to know that, surely!

MATTHEW. Not a bit of it. Women loves secrets of that sort.

JOE. No; 'tain't that at all. I only wish it was, if what you say be
true of women.

MATTHEW. True enough, my son. I did the cutest day's work in my life
when I persuaded Jane Ann to take little Joe to help we. I watched the
two of 'em together and found he caught his tongueing, too, from she,
but it had a sort of nestle sound in it as if she were a-cuddlin' of
him. She've been gentler wi' me ever since Joe come back again after his
long bout at home.

    [_Joe scratches his head very thoughtfully; a pause, in which he
    seems to be thinking before speaking again._]

JOE. I don't know of no sister's child to take on for Kezia at all.
What's the next remedy, think you?

MATTHEW. A thrashin'.

    [_Joe jumps up and stares at Matthew._]

JOE. A what?

MATTHEW. Wallop her just once.

    [_Matthew looks on the ground and taps it with his foot, and he
    does not see that Joe is standing over him with his hands
    clenched._]

JOE. Shame on thee, mate! I feel more like strikin' thee nor a female.
I'm sorry I told thee, if thee can offer no more help than that. I'm not
much of a chap, but I've never struck a woman yet.

MATTHEW. Strike on principle, then.

    [_He still looks fixedly at the floor, and Joe stands glaring at
    him._]

JOE. How?

MATTHEW. Like the Almighty strikes when He've got a lesson for we to
learn, which we won't learn without strikes and tears. Nothin' is of no
avail to stop His chastisement if He do think it's goin' to work out His
plan for He and we, and that's what I'm wanting of you to do by your
wife for her sake more than for yours. Wives must learn to submit.
[_Harshly._] It's Divine Providence as 'ave ordered it, and women be
miserable, like ivy and trailers of all sorts, if they've no prop to
bear 'em up. Beat her once and it'll make a man of you and be a
life-long warnin' to she.

JOE. But I love her, man! [_Softly._] The very thought of hurting her
makes me creep.

    [_Joe shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head repeatedly._]

MATTHEW. Women likes bein' hurt. It's a real fondlin' to 'em at times.

    [_Joe sits down and folds his arms as he looks humbly at Matthew._]

JOE. Lor', I never heard that afore. How can you be sure of that at all?

MATTHEW. I've traveled, as you do knaw. I ain't been to Africa for
nothin', mate. I've seen a deal o' things, which if I'd happened on
afore I courted Jane Ann would have got me through the marriage
scrimmage wi' no tiles off of my roof. That's why I'm a warnin' of you
afore it's too late. Your woman be worth gettin' i' trim--[_with a
sigh_]--for she's--well--she's--

    [_Joe's eyes rest on his friend's face and his face suddenly
    lights up with a smile._]

JOE. She's the best sort of woman a man could 'ave for a sweetheart when
her moods is off, and it's only lately her 'ave altered so, and I expect
it's really all my fault.

MATTHEW. Certainly it is; you've never shown master yet, and you must
this very night.

JOE. [_Coughs nervously._] How?

MATTHEW. You must thrash her before it is too late. Have 'e a cane?

    [_Joe jumps up, twists round his necktie, undoes it, ties it
    again--marches up and down the little kitchen, and wheels round on
    Matthew._]

JOE. You'm a fair brute, Matthew Trevaskis.

MATTHEW. And you'm a coward, Joe Pengilly. [_Matthew clasps his hands
round his raised knee and nods at Joe, who sits._] I've given you golden
advice, and if only a pal had given it to me years ago I shouldn't be in
the place I'm in now, but be master of my own wife and my own
chimney-corner.

    [_Joe puts his hands in his pockets and tilts back his chair as he
    gazes up at the ceiling as if for inspiration._]

JOE. I cain't stomach the idea at all; it's like murderin' a baby,
somehow.

MATTHEW. Stuff! You needn't lay on too hard to make bruises nor nothin'.

    [_Joe goes pale and puts his head in his hands for a moment, and
    he almost whispers._]

JOE. Good Lord! Bruises! Why, man, she've got flesh like a flower!

    [_Matthew suddenly holds out his hand to Joe, who shakes it
    feebly._]

MATTHEW. I almost envies thee, mate. Why, thee's fair daft wi' love
still.

JOE. Of course I be! [_Sullenly._] She's more nor meat and drink to me;
allus have been since the first I took to she.

MATTHEW. All the more reason to beat her, and at once. [_Sternly._]
You'll lose her, sure enough, if you don't. It's the only chance for
thee now, and I do knaw I'm speaking gospel truth.

    [_A long pause, in which Joe meditates with a grave face. He
    suddenly snaps the fingers of his right hand as he says quickly._]

JOE. I'll do it. It'll nearly be the finish of me, but if you're certain
sure she'll love me more after it I'll shut my eyes and set my teeth
and--and--yes, upon my soul, I'll do it! She'm more to me than all the
world, and I'll save she and myself with her. But are you sure it will
do any good?

    [_Matthew wrings Joe's hands and then slaps him on the back._]

MATTHEW. I swear it, brother. [_Solemnly._] I've never once known it
fail.

JOE [_anxiously_]. Never once in all your travels?

    [_Matthew looks down._]

MATTHEW. Iss, mate, once, sure enough, but the woman had never cared
twopence for the man to start with. After it she left 'un altogether.

JOE [_with a groan_]. Oh! Good Lord!

MATTHEW. That was no fair start like a thing. See?

JOE. No, to be sure.

MATTHEW. Now! [_He strikes Joe's shoulder briskly._] Now for it!

    [_Joe twists round towards the door, and a miserable smile is on
    his lips._]

JOE. Well, what now?

    [_Matthew bends down to Joe's ear and whispers._]

MATTHEW. We must go and buy the cane.

JOE. Sakes!

MATTHEW. Bear up! It'll all be over by this time to-morrow night, and
that's a great stand by, isn't it?

JOE. I suppose it is. [_Gloomily._] Who'll be spokesman over the buyin'?

MATTHEW. Me, my son. How far will 'e go i' price?

    [_Joe shakes his head and looks wearily at Matthew._]

JOE. It's no odds to me, Matthey; I don't know and don't care!

MATTHEW. Will sixpence ruin 'e?

JOE. It's all ruin. I'm sweatin' like a bull with fear and shame, and
wish I was dead and buried.

    [_Matthew points to the door and the two men move slowly towards
    it._]

MATTHEW. It's just on nine o'clock. Kezia will be back afore we start if
we don't mind. Don't stop to think when you come back, but rush right in
and set at it at once, and she'll have time to come round before you
settle for the night. Bein' Saturday night, all the neighbors be mostly
i' town shoppin', and if there should be a scream I'll make up a yarn to
any one who comes near as 'll stop all gossip. I shan't be far off till
I reckon it's all over.

    [_Joe's teeth are set and his head down, and he gazes at the door
    and then at Matthew, irresolutely._]

MATTHEW. Thee deserves to lose her if thee be real chicken-hearted like
this 'ere.

    [_Joe makes a dart forward, unlatches the door, rushes out
    followed by Matthew._]

MATTHEW [_outside_]. Go round by the croft and then we shan't meet her
coming home.

    [_After a pause the door slowly opens and Kezia comes in. She has
    a basket in one hand and a string bag full of parcels in the
    other. She looks round, puts her parcels on the table and in the
    cupboards, pokes the fire, and then takes her basket in her hand
    again, looks at the clock and goes into the inner room. She comes
    back with her outdoor garments off and a loose dressing-jacket of
    white and blue linen over her arm. She goes to a drawer in the
    table and brings out a little comb and brush and stands
    thinking._]

KEZIA. I'll do my hair down here. He cain't be long, and it's cold
upstairs. Gone for tobacco, I suppose, and he'll want his tea when he
comes in.

    [_She puts the kettle on the fire. She undoes her hair,
    facing audience; shakes it about her shoulders, puts on her
    dressing-jacket and begins to brush and comb her hair before the
    fire, and near the settle she bends down and warms her hands,
    singing a lullaby as she does so. She then stands facing the
    fire, smiling to herself as she sings. So absorbed is she in her
    thoughts that she does not see the street-door open and the white,
    scared face of Joe appear. He puts his hands behind his back when
    he has softly shut the door, and tip-toes towards Kezia, who never
    sees him till he has sat down swiftly on the settle, the further
    corner to where she stands. His left hand, with the cane in it,
    is not visible to Kezia, as it is hidden by the end of the settle.
    Tying a large plait on one side of her head--the nearest to
    him--with pink ribbon, she suddenly turns round and sees him, and
    their eyes meet. She sits down by him. Kezia's face is very sweet
    and smiling as she tosses the plait over her shoulder._]

KEZIA. Seen a ghost, Joey, my dear, or is it Kezia come to her senses at
last, think you?

    [_Joe does not stir. He gazes at Kezia with a puzzled and tender
    expression._]

JOE. What's come to thee, lass?

KEZIA. Guess!

    [_Kezia clasps her hands behind her head and looks into Joe's face
    with a happy smile._]

JOE. Cain't at all.

KEZIA. Come close, sweetheart.

    [_She draws nearer to Joe, who does not move, and tries to keep
    the cane hidden. He suddenly draws her close to him with his right
    arm, and whispers._]

JOE. Kezia.

KEZIA [_softly_]. Joey, my dear! [_She nestles closer to him and puts
her head on his shoulder._] He'll be the dearest little thing a woman
ever bore.

    [_Joe laughs softly, kisses Kezia gently on the eyes, brow, and
    then month, and holds her closely to him._]

JOE. Heaven cain't be more desirable than this.

KEZIA. To think there'll be three of us soon. You see now why I've been
so teasy lately. Now I'll sing all day long so he'll be a happy boy.

    [_Joe does not move. He makes furtive attempts to hide the cane
    behind the settle, and moves a little as he continues to smile at
    Kezia._]

KEZIA. Thee'rt smiling, Joe! Thee and me 'ave both hungered for the same
thing. Did thee guess it at all, I wonder? I've kept it from thee a
while to make sure. But, lor'! my dear life! whatever be this that
you've got here? [_She pulls the long cane out of Joe's hands and holds
it in hers. They both look at it very solemnly for a few moments, and
Joe scratches his head sadly, unable to speak. She bursts into a merry
laugh and her lips tremble._] Eh! Joe! lad! [_softly._] Thee was always
unlike other chaps; that's why I do love thee so. Fancy thee guessing,
and going to buy him somethin' right away! [_She puts her face in her
hands and sobs and laughs together._] Oh! it brings it so near like.
Most men would have thought of a cradle or a rattle, but thee! Oh! my
dear! [_She throws her arms round his neck and kisses him on the
mouth._] Thee thought of the first beatin' we should be forced to give
him, for, of course, he'll be a lad of tremenjous spirit.

JOE [_suddenly, and snatching the cane from Kezia._] So he will. Both
his father and mother be folk of great spirit, and--the first time as he
dirts the tablecloth or frets his mother, I'll lay it on him as, thanks
be, I've never laid it on nobody yet.


  [_Curtain._]




THE CONSTANT LOVER

  A COMEDY OF YOUTH

  BY ST. JOHN HANKIN


  Copyright,
  All rights reserved.


  "_As of old when the world's heart was lighter._"


  THE CONSTANT LOVER was first produced at the Royalty Theatre,
  London, January 30, 1912, under the direction of Messrs. Vedrenne
  and Eadie, with the following cast:

    EVELYN RIVERS        _Miss Gladys Cooper._
    CECIL HARBURTON      _Mr. Dennis Eadie._


  Reprinted from "The Dramatic Works of St. John Hankin," by permission
  of, and by special arrangement with, Mr. Mitchell Kennerley.



THE CONSTANT LOVER

A COMEDY BY ST. JOHN HANKIN


    [_Before the curtain rises the orchestra will play the Woodland
    Music (cuckoo) from "Hansel and Gretel" and possibly some of the
    Grieg Pastoral Music from "Peer Gynt," or some Gabriél Fauré._

    SCENE: _A glade in a wood. About C. a great beech-tree, the
    branches of which overhang the stage, the brilliant sunlight
    filtering through them. The sky where it can be seen through the
    branches is a cloudless blue._

    _When the curtain rises Cecil Harburton is discovered sitting on
    the ground under the tree, leaning his back against its trunk and
    reading a book. He wears a straw hat and the lightest of gray
    flannel suits. The chattering of innumerable small birds is heard
    while the curtain is still down, and this grows louder as it
    rises, and we find ourselves in the wood. Presently a wood pigeon
    coos in the distance. Then a thrush begins to sing in the tree
    above Cecil's head and is answered by another. After a moment
    Cecil looks up._]


CECIL. By Jove, that's jolly! [_Listens for a moment, then returns to
his book._]

    [_Suddenly a cuckoo begins to call insistently. After a moment or
    two he looks up again._]

Cuckoo too! Bravo! [_Again he returns to his book._]

    [_A moment later enter Evelyn Rivers. She also wears the lightest
    of summer dresses, as it is a cloudless day in May. On her head is
    a shady straw hat. As she approaches the tree a twig snaps under
    her foot and Cecil looks up. He jumps to his feet, closing book,
    and advances to her, eagerly holding out his right hand, keeping
    the book in his left._]

[_Reproachfully._] Here you are at last!

EVELYN. At last?

CECIL. Yes. You're awfully late! [_Looks at watch._]

EVELYN. Am I?

CECIL. YOU know you are. I expected you at three.

EVELYN. Why? I never said I'd come at three. Indeed, I never said I'd
come at all.

CECIL. No.--But it's always been three.

EVELYN. Has it?

CECIL. And now it's half-past. I consider I've been cheated out of a
whole half-hour.

EVELYN. I couldn't help it. Mother kept me. She wanted the roses done in
the drawing-room.

CECIL. How stupid of Mrs. Rivers!

EVELYN. Mr. Harburton!

CECIL. What's the matter?

EVELYN. I don't think you _ought_ to call my mother stupid.

CECIL. Why not--if she is stupid? Most parents are stupid, by the way.
I've noticed it before. Mrs. Rivers ought to have thought of the roses
earlier. The morning is the proper time to gather roses. Didn't you tell
her that?

EVELYN. I'm afraid I couldn't very well. You see it was really I who
ought to have thought of the roses! I always do them. But this morning I
forgot.

CECIL. I see. [_Turning towards the tree._] Well, sit down now you are
here. Isn't it a glorious day?

EVELYN [_hesitating_]. I don't believe I ought to sit down.

CECIL [_turns to her_]. Why not? There's no particular virtue about
standing, is there? I hate standing. So let's sit down and be
comfortable.

    [_She sits, so does he. She sits on bank under tree, left of it.
    He sits below bank to right of tree._]

EVELYN. But _ought_ I to be sitting here with you? That's what I mean.
It's--not as if I really _knew_ you, is it?

CECIL. Not _know_ me? [_The chatter of birds dies away._]

EVELYN. Not properly--we've never even been introduced. We just met
quite by chance here in the wood.

CECIL. Yes. [_Ecstatically._] What a glorious chance!

EVELYN. Still, I'm sure mother wouldn't approve.

CECIL. And _you_ say Mrs. Rivers isn't stupid!

EVELYN [_laughing_]. I expect most people would agree with her. Most
people would say you oughtn't to have spoken to a girl you didn't know
like that.

CECIL. Oh, come, I only asked my way back to the inn.

EVELYN. There was no harm in asking your way, of course. But then we
began talking of other things. And then we sat down under this tree. And
we've sat under this tree every afternoon since. And that was a week
ago.

CECIL. Well, it's such an awfully jolly tree.

EVELYN. I don't know _what_ mother would say if she heard of it!

CECIL. Would it be something unpleasant?

EVELYN [_ruefully_]. I'm afraid it would.

CECIL. How fortunate you don't know it then.

EVELYN [_pondering_]. Still, if I really _oughtn't_ to be here.... Do
_you_ think I oughtn't to be here?

CECIL. I don't think I should go into that if I were you. Sensible
people think of what they want to do, not of what they _ought_ to do,
otherwise they get confused. And then of course they do the wrong thing.

EVELYN. But if I do what I oughtn't, I generally find I'm sorry for it
afterwards.

CECIL. Not half sorry as you would have been if you hadn't done it. In
this world the things one regrets are the things one hasn't done. For
instance, if I hadn't spoken to you a week ago here in the wood I should
have regretted it all my life.

EVELYN. Would you?

    [_He nods._]

Really and truly?

CECIL [_nods_]. Really and truly.

    [_He lays his hand on hers for a moment, she lets it rest there.
    Cuckoo calls loudly once or twice--she draws her hand away._]

EVELYN. There's the cuckoo.

    [_Cecil rises and sits up on bank R. of her, leaning against
    tree._]

CECIL. Yes. Isn't he jolly? Don't you love cuckoos?

EVELYN. They _are_ rather nice.

CECIL. Aren't they! And such clever beggars. Most birds are fools--like
most people. As soon as they're grown up they go and get married, and
then the rest of their lives are spent in bringing up herds of children
and wondering how on earth to pay their school-bills. Your cuckoo sees
the folly of all that. No school-bills for _her_! No nursing the baby!
She just flits from hedgerow to hedgerow flirting with other cuckoos.
And when she lays an egg she lays it in some one else's nest, which
saves all the trouble of housekeeping. Oh, a wise bird!

EVELYN [_pouting, looking away from him_]. I don't know that I _do_ like
cuckoos so much after all. They sound to me rather selfish.

CECIL. Yes. But so sensible! The duck's a wise bird too in her way.
[_She turns to him._] But _her_ way's different from the cuckoo's.
[_Matter-of-fact._] She always _treads_ on _her_ eggs.

EVELYN. Clumsy creature!

CECIL. Not a bit. She does it on purpose. You see, it's much less
trouble than _sitting_ on them. As soon as she's laid an egg she raises
one foot absent-mindedly and gives a warning quack. Whereupon the farmer
rushes up, takes it away, and puts it under some wretched hen, who has
to do the sitting for her. I call that genius!

EVELYN. Genius!

CECIL. Yes. Genius is the infinite capacity for making other people take
pains.

EVELYN. How can you say that?

CECIL. I didn't. Carlyle did.

EVELYN. I don't believe he said anything of the kind. And I don't
believe ducks are clever one bit. They don't look clever.

CECIL. That's part of their cleverness. In this world if one _is_ wise
one should look like a fool. It puts people off their guard. That's
what the duck does.

EVELYN. Well, I think ducks are horrid, and cuckoos, too. And I believe
most birds _like_ bringing up their chickens and feeding them and
looking after them.

CECIL. They do. That's the extraordinary part of it. They spend their
whole lives building nests and laying eggs and hatching them. And when
the chickens come out the father has to fuss round finding worms. And
the nest's abominably over-crowded and the babies are perpetually
squalling, and that drives the husband to the public house, and it's all
as uncomfortable as the Devil--

EVELYN. Mr. Harburton!

CECIL. Well, _I_ shouldn't like it. In fact, I call it fatuous.

[_Evelyn is leaning forward pondering this philosophy with a slightly
puckered brow--a slight pause_]. I say, _you_ don't look a bit
comfortable like that. Lean back against the tree. It's a first-rate
tree. That's why I chose it.

EVELYN [_tries and fails_]. I can't. My hat gets in the way.

CECIL. Take it off then.

EVELYN. I think I will. [_Does so._] That's better. [_Leans back
luxuriously against the trunk; puts her hat down on bank beside her._]

CECIL. Much better. [_Looks at her with frank admiration._] By Jove, you
_do_ look jolly without your hat!

EVELYN. Do I?

CECIL. Yes. Your hair's such a jolly color. I noticed it the first time
I saw you. You had your hat off then, you know. You were walking through
the wood fanning yourself with it. And directly I caught sight of you
the sun came out and simply flooded your hair with light. And there was
the loveliest pink flush on your cheeks, and your eyes were soft and
shining--

EVELYN [_troubled_]. Mr. Harburton, you mustn't say things to me like
that.

CECIL. Mustn't I? Why not? Don't you like being told you look jolly?

EVELYN [_naïvely_]. I do _like_ it, of course. But _ought_ you...?

CECIL [_groans_]. Oh, it's _that_ again.

EVELYN. I mean, it's not _right_ for men to say those things to girls.

CECIL. I don't see that--if they're true. You _are_ pretty and your eyes
_are_ soft and your cheeks--why, they're flushing at this moment!
[_Triumphant._] Why shouldn't I say it?

EVELYN. Please!... [_She stops, and her eyes fill with tears._]

CECIL [_much concerned_]. Miss Rivers, what's the matter? Why, I believe
you're crying!

EVELYN [_sniffing suspiciously_]. I'm ... not.

CECIL. You are, I can see the tears. Have I said anything to hurt you?
What is it? Tell me. [_Much concerned._]

EVELYN [_recovering herself by an effort_]. It's nothing, nothing
really. I'm all right now. Only you won't say things to me like that
again, will you? Promise. [_Taking out handkerchief._]

CECIL. I promise ... if you really wish it. And now dry your eyes and
let's be good children. That's what my nurse used to say when my sister
and I quarreled. Shall I dry them for you? [_Takes her handkerchief and
does so tenderly._]

EVELYN [_with a gulp_]. Thank you. [_Takes away handkerchief._] How
absurd you are! [_Puts it away._]

CECIL. Thank _you_!

    [_Evelyn moves down, sitting at bottom of bank, a little below
    him._]

EVELYN. Did you often quarrel with your sister?

CECIL. Perpetually. _And_ my brothers. Didn't you?

EVELYN. I never had any.

CECIL. Poor little kid. You must have been rather lonely.

EVELYN [_matter-of-fact_]. There was always Reggie.

CECIL. Reggie?

EVELYN. My cousin, Reggie Townsend. He lived with us when we were
children. His parents were in India.

CECIL [_matter-of-fact_]. So he used to quarrel with you instead.

EVELYN [_shocked_]. Oh no! We _never_ quarreled. At least, Reggie never
did. _I_ did sometimes.

CECIL. How dull! There's no good in quarreling if people won't quarrel
back.

EVELYN. I don't think there's any good in quarreling at all.

CECIL. Oh, yes, there is. There's the making it up again.

EVELYN. Was that why you used to quarrel with your sister?

CECIL. I expect so, though I didn't know it, of course--then. I used to
tease her awfully, I remember, and pull her hair. She had awfully jolly
hair. Like yours--oh! I forgot, I mustn't say that. Used you to pull
Reggie's hair?

EVELYN [_laughing_]. I'm afraid I did sometimes.

CECIL. I was sure of it. How long was he with you?

EVELYN. Till he went to Winchester. And of course he used to be with us
in the holidays after that. And he comes to us now whenever he can get
away for a few days. He's in his uncle's office in the city. He'll be a
partner some day.

CECIL. Poor chap!

EVELYN. _Poor_ chap! Mother says he's very _fortunate_.

CECIL. She would. Parents always think it very fortunate when young men
have to go to an office every day. I know mine do.

EVELYN. _Do_ you go to an office every day?

CECIL. No.

EVELYN [_with dignity_]. Then I don't think you can know much about it,
can you?

CECIL [_carelessly_]. I know too much. That's why I don't go.

EVELYN. What _do_ you do?

CECIL. I don't do anything. I'm at the Bar.

EVELYN. If you're at the Bar, why are you down here instead of up in
London working?

CECIL. Because if I were in London I might possibly get a brief. It's
not likely, but it's possible. And if I got a brief I should have to be
mugging in chambers, or wrangling in a stuffy court, instead of sitting
under a tree in the shade with you.

EVELYN. But _ought_ you to waste your time like that?

CECIL [_genuinely shocked_]. _Waste_ my time! To sit under a tree--a
really nice tree like this--talking to you. You can call that _wasting
time_!

EVELYN. Isn't it?

CECIL. No! To sit in a frowsy office adding up figures when the sky's
blue and the weather's heavenly, _that's_ wasting time. The only real
way in which one can waste time is not to enjoy it, to spend one's day
blinking at a ledger and never notice how beautiful the world is, and
how good it is to be alive. To be only making money when one might be
making love, _that_ is wasting time!

EVELYN. How earnestly you say that!

    [_Cecil leans forward--close to her._]

CECIL. Isn't it true?

EVELYN [_troubled_]. Perhaps it is. [_Looks away from him._]

CECIL. You know it is. Every one knows it. Only people won't admit it.
[_Leaning towards her and looking into her eyes._] You know it at this
moment.

EVELYN [_returning his gaze slowly_]. I think I do.

    [_For a long moment they look into each other's eyes. Then he
    takes her two hands, draws her slowly towards him and kisses her
    gently on the lips._]

CECIL. Ah! [_Sigh of satisfaction. He releases her hands and leans back
against the tree again._]

EVELYN [_sadly_]. Oh, Mr. Harburton, you _oughtn't_ to have done that!

CECIL. Why not?

EVELYN. Because.... [_Hesitates._] Because you _oughtn't_.... Because
men _oughtn't_ to kiss girls.

CECIL [_scandalized_]. Oughtn't to kiss girls! What nonsense! What on
earth were girls made for if not to be kissed?

EVELYN. I mean they _oughtn't_ ... unless.... [_Looking away._]

CECIL [_puzzled_]. Unless?

EVELYN [_looking down_]. Unless they _love_ them.

CECIL [_relieved_]. But I _do_ love you. Of course I love you. That's
why I kissed you.

    [_A thrush is heard calling in the distance._]

EVELYN. Really? [_Cecil nods. Evelyn sighs contentedly._] That makes it
all right then.

CECIL. I should think it did. And as it's all right I may kiss you
again, mayn't I?

EVELYN [_shyly_]. If you like.

CECIL. You darling! [_Takes her in his arms and kisses her long and
tenderly._] Lean your head on my shoulder, you'll find it awfully
comfortable. [_He leans back against the tree._] [_She does so._] There!
Is that all right?

EVELYN. Quite. [_Sigh of contentment._]

CECIL. How pretty your hair is! I always thought your hair lovely. And
it's as soft as silk. I always knew it would be like silk. [_Strokes
it._] Do you like me to stroke your hair?

EVELYN. Yes!

CECIL. Sensible girl! [_Pause; he laughs happily._] I say, what am I to
call you? Do you know, I don't even know your Christian name yet?

EVELYN. Don't you?

CECIL. No. You've never told me. What is it? Mine's Cecil.

EVELYN. Mine's Evelyn.

CECIL. Evelyn? Oh, I don't like Evelyn. It's rather a _stodgy_ sort of
name. I think I shall call you Eve. Does any one else call you Eve?

EVELYN. No.

CECIL. Then I shall certainly call you Eve. After the first woman man
ever loved. May I?

EVELYN. If you like--Cecil.

CECIL. That's settled then.

    [_He kisses her again. Pause of utter happiness, during which he
    settles her head more comfortably on his shoulder, and puts arm
    round her._]

Isn't it heavenly to be in love?

EVELYN. Heavenly!

CECIL. There's nothing like it in the whole world! Say so.

EVELYN. Love is the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

CECIL. Good girl! There's a reward for saying it right. [_Kisses her._]

    [_Pause of complete happiness for both._]

EVELYN [_meditatively_]. I'm afraid Reggie won't be pleased.

    [_The chatter of sparrows is heard._]

CECIL [_indifferently_]. Won't he?

EVELYN [_shakes her head_]. No. You see, Reggie's in love with me too.
He always has been in love with me, for years and years. [_Sighs._] Poor
Reggie!

CECIL. On the contrary. Happy Reggie!

EVELYN [_astonished_]. What _do_ you mean?

CECIL. To have been in love with you years and years. _I've_ only been
in love with you a week.... I've only known you a week.

EVELYN. I'm afraid Reggie didn't look at it like that.

CECIL [_nods_]. No brains.

EVELYN. You see, I always refused _him_.

CECIL. Exactly. And he always went on loving you. What more could the
silly fellow want?

EVELYN [_shyly, looking up at him_]. He _wanted_ me to accept him, I
suppose.

    [_The bird chatter dies away._]

CECIL. Ah!... Reggie ought to read Keats's "Ode to a Grecian Urn."... I
say, what jolly eyes you've got! I noticed them the moment we met here
in the wood. That was why I spoke to you.

EVELYN [_demurely_]. I thought it was to ask your way back to the inn.

CECIL. That was an excuse. I knew the way as well as you did. I'd only
just come from there. But when I saw you with the sunshine on your
pretty soft hair and lighting up your pretty soft eyes, I said I _must_
speak to her. And I did. Are you glad I spoke to you?

EVELYN. Yes.

CECIL. Glad and glad?

EVELYN. Yes.

CECIL. Good girl! [_Leans over and kisses her cheek._]

EVELYN [_sigh of contentment; sits up_]. And now we must go and tell
mother.

CECIL [_with a comic groan_]. Need we?

EVELYN [_brightly_]. Of course.

CECIL [_sigh_]. Well, if _you_ think so.

EVELYN [_laughing_]. You don't seem to look forward to it much.

CECIL. I don't. That's the part I always hate.

EVELYN. _Always?_ [_Starts forward and looks at him, puzzled._]

CECIL [_quite unconscious_]. Yes. The going to the parents and all that.
Parents really are the most preposterous people. They've no feeling for
_romance_ whatever. You meet a girl in a wood. It's May. The sun's
shining. There's not a cloud in the sky. She's adorably pretty. You fall
in love. Everything heavenly! Then--why, I can't imagine--she wants you
to tell her mother. Well, you do tell her mother. And her mother at once
begins to ask you what your profession is, and how much money you earn,
and how much money you have that you don't earn--and that spoils it all.

EVELYN [_bewildered_]. But I don't understand. You talk as if you had
actually done all this before.

CECIL. So I have. Lots of times.

EVELYN. Oh! [_Jumps up from the ground and faces him, her eyes flashing
with rage._]

CECIL. I say, don't get up. It's not time to go yet. It's only four. Sit
down again.

EVELYN [_struggling for words_]. Do you mean to say you've been in love
with girls before? _Other_ girls?

CECIL [_apparently genuinely astonished at the question_]. Of course I
have.

EVELYN. And been engaged to them?

CECIL. Not engaged. I've never been engaged so far. But I've been in
love over and over again.

    [_Evelyn stamps her foot with rage--turning away from him._]

My dear girl, what _is_ the matter? You look quite cross. [_Rises._]

EVELYN [_furious_]. And you're not even _ashamed_ of it?

CECIL [_roused to sit up by this question_]. Ashamed of it? Ashamed of
being in love? How can you say such a thing! Of course I'm not ashamed.
What's the good of being alive at all if one isn't to be in love? I'm
perpetually in love. In fact, I'm hardly ever out of love--with
somebody.

EVELYN [_still furious_]. Then if you're in love, why don't you get
engaged? A man has no business to make love to a girl and not be engaged
to her. It's not right.

CECIL [_reasoning with her_]. That's the parents' fault. I told you
parents were preposterous people. They won't allow me to get engaged.

EVELYN. Why not?

CECIL. Oh, for different reasons. They say I'm not _serious_ enough. Or
that I don't work enough. Or that I haven't got enough money. Or else
they simply say they "don't think I'm fitted to make their daughter
happy." Anyhow, they won't sanction an engagement. They all agree about
_that_. Your mother would be just the same.

    [_Impatient exclamation from Evelyn._]

I don't blame her. I don't say she's not right. I don't say they haven't
all been right. In fact, I believe they _have_ been right. I'm only
explaining how it is.

EVELYN [_savagely_]. I see how it is. You don't really want to be
married.

CECIL. Of course I don't _want_ to be married. Nobody does unless he's
perfectly idiotic. One wants to be in love. Being in love's splendid.
And I dare say being engaged isn't bad--though I've had no experience of
that so far. But being married must be simply hateful.

EVELYN [_boiling with rage_]. Nonsense! How can it be hateful to be
married if it's splendid to be in love?

    [_The cuckoo is heard._]

CECIL. Have you forgotten the cuckoo?

EVELYN. Oh!!!

CECIL. No ties, no responsibilities, no ghastly little villa with
children bellowing in the nursery. Just life in the open hedgerow. Life
and love. Happy cuckoo!

EVELYN [_furious_]. I think cuckoos detestable. They're mean, horrid,
_disgusting_ birds.

CECIL. No. No. I can't have you abusing cuckoos. They're particular
friends of mine. In fact, I'm a sort of cuckoo myself.

EVELYN [_turning on him_]. Oh, I hate you! I hate you! [_Stamps her
foot._]

CECIL [_with quiet conviction_]. You don't.

EVELYN. I do!

CECIL [_shaking his head_]. You don't. [_Quite gravely._] One never
really hates the people one has once loved.

    [_He looks into her eyes. For a moment or two she returns his gaze
    fiercely. Then her eyes fall and they fill with tears._]

EVELYN [_half crying_]. How horrid you are to say that!

CECIL. Why?

EVELYN. Because it's true, I suppose. Ah, I'm so unhappy! [_Begins to
cry._]

CECIL [_genuinely distressed_]. Eve! You're crying. You mustn't do that.
I can't bear seeing people cry. [_Lays hand on her shoulder._]

EVELYN [_shaking it off_]. Don't. I can't bear you to touch me. After
falling in love with one girl after another like that. When I thought
you were only in love with me.

CECIL. So I am only in love with you--now.

EVELYN [_tearfully_]. But I thought you'd never been in love with any
one else. And I let you call me Eve because you said she was the first
woman man ever loved.

CECIL. But I never said she was the only one, did I?
[_Argumentatively._] And one can't help being in love with people when
one _is_ in love, can one? I couldn't _help_ falling in love with you,
for instance, the moment I saw you. You looked simply splendid. It was
such a splendid day too. _Of course_ I fell in love with you.

EVELYN [_slightly appeased by his compliment, drying her eyes_]. But you
seem to fall in love with such a lot of people.

CECIL. I do. [_Mischievously._] But ought _you_ to throw stones at me?
After all, being in love with more than one person is no worse than
having more than one person in love with you. How about Reggie?

EVELYN. Reggie? [_The sparrows' chatter starts again._]

CECIL [_nods_]. Reggie's in love with you, isn't he? So am I. And both
at once too! I'm only in love with one person at a time.

EVELYN [_rebelliously_]. I can't help Reggie being in love with me.

CECIL. And I can't help _my_ being in love with you. That's just my
point. I knew you'd see it.

EVELYN. I don't see it at all. Reggie is quite different from you.
Reggie's love is true and constant....

CECIL. Well, I'm a _constant_ lover if you come to that.

EVELYN. You aren't. You know you aren't.

CECIL. Yes, I am. A constant lover is a lover who is constantly in love.

EVELYN. Only with the same person.

CECIL. It doesn't say so. It only says constant.

EVELYN [_half-laughing_]. How ridiculous you are! [_Turns away._]

CECIL [_sigh of relief_]. That's right. Now you're good-tempered again.

EVELYN. I'm not.

CECIL. What a story!

EVELYN. I'm not. I'm very, _very_ angry.

CECIL. That's impossible. You can't possibly be angry and laugh at the
same time, can you? No one can. And you _did_ laugh. You're doing it
now.

    [_She does so unwillingly._]

So don't let's quarrel any more. It's absurd to quarrel on such a fine
day, isn't it? Let's make it up, and be lovers again.

    [_The sparrows die away._]

EVELYN [_shaking her head_]. No.

CECIL. Please!

EVELYN [_shaking her head_]. No.

CECIL. Well, you're very foolish. Love isn't a thing to throw away. It's
too precious for that. Love is the most beautiful thing in the whole
world. You said so yourself not ten minutes ago.

EVELYN. I didn't. You said it. [_Looking down._]

CECIL. But you said it after me. [_Gently and gravely._] Eve, dear,
don't be silly. Let's be in love while we can. Youth is the time to be
in love, isn't it? Soon you and I will be dull and stupid and
middle-aged like all the other tedious people. And then it will be too
late. Youth passes so quickly. Don't let's waste a second of it. They
say the May-fly only lives for one day. He is born in the morning. All
the afternoon he flutters over the river in the sunshine, dodging the
trout and flirting with other May-flies. And at evening he dies. Think
of the poor May-fly who happens to be born on a wet day! The tragedy of
it!

EVELYN [_softly_]. Poor May-fly.

CECIL. There! You're sorry for the May-fly, you see. You're only angry
with me.

EVELYN. Because you're not a May-fly.

CECIL. Yes, I am. A sort of May-fly.

EVELYN [_with suspicion of tears in her voice_]. You aren't. How can you
be? Besides, you said you were a cuckoo just now.

CECIL. I suppose I'm a cuckoo-May-fly. For I _hate_ wet days. And if
you're going to cry again, it might just as well be wet, mightn't it? So
do dry your eyes like a good girl. Let me do it for you. [_Does it with
her handkerchief._]

    [_She laughs ruefully._]

There, that's better. And now we're going to be good children again,
aren't we?

CECIL [_holding out hand_]. And you'll kiss and be friends?

EVELYN. I'll be friends, of course. [_Sadly._] But you must never kiss
me again.

CECIL. What a shame! Why not?

EVELYN. Because you mustn't.

CECIL [_cheerfully_]. Well, you'll sit down again anyhow, won't you?
just to show we've made it up. [_Moves towards tree._]

EVELYN [_shakes head_]. No.

CECIL [_disappointed; turns_]. A.... Then you haven't really made it up.

EVELYN. Yes, I have. [_Picks up her hat._] But I must go now. Reggie's
coming down by the five o'clock train, and I want to be at the station
to meet him. [_Holds out hand._] Good-by, Mr. Harburton.

CECIL [_taking hand_]. Eve! You're going to accept Reggie! [_Pause._]

EVELYN [_half to herself_]. I wonder.

CECIL. And he'll have to tell your mother?

EVELYN. Of course.

CECIL [_drops her hand_]. Poor Reggie! So _his_ romance ends too!

EVELYN. It won't! If I marry Reggie I shall make him very happy.

CECIL. Very likely. Marriage may be happiness, but I'm hanged if it's
romance!

EVELYN. Oh! [_Exclamation of impatience._]

    [_She turns away and exits R._]

    [_Cecil watches her departure with a smile half-amused,
    half-pained, till she is long out of sight. Then with half a sigh
    turns back to his tree._]

CECIL [_re-seating himself_]. Poor Reggie! [_Re-opens his book and
settles himself to read again._]

    [_A cuckoo hoots loudly from a distant thicket and is answered by
    another. Cecil looks up from his book to listen as the curtain
    falls._]


  [_Curtain._]




THE JUDGMENT OF INDRA

  A PLAY
  BY DHAN GOPAL MUKERJI


  Copyright, 1920, by Stewart & Kidd Company.
  All rights reserved.


  The professional and amateur stage rights of this play are strictly
  reserved by the author, to whose dramatic representative, Frank Shay,
  in care Stewart & Kidd Co., Cincinnati, Ohio, applications for
  permission to produce it should be made.



THE JUDGMENT OF INDRA

A PLAY BY DHAN GOPAL MUKERJI


    [TIME: _The Fifteenth Century._]

    [PLACE: _A Monastery on one of the foothills of Himalaya._]

    [SCENE: _In the foreground is the outer court of a Monastery. In
    the center of the court is a sacred plant, growing out of a small
    altar of earth about two feet square. On the left of the court is
    a sheer precipice, adown which a flight of stone steps--only a few
    of which are visible--connects the Monastery with the village in
    the valley below._

    _To the right are the temple and the adobe walls and the roof of
    the monastery cells. There is a little space between the temple
    and the adobe walls, which is the passage leading to the inner
    recesses of the monastery. Several steps lead to the doors of the
    temple, which give on the court. In the distance, rear, are the
    snowy peaks of the Himalayas, glowing under the emerald sky of an
    Indian afternoon. To the left, the distances stretch into vast
    spaces of wooded hills. Long bars of light glimmer and die as the
    vast clouds, with edges of crimson, golden and silver, spread
    portentously over the hills and forest._

    _A roll of thunder in the distance, accompanies the rise of the
    curtain._]


SHANTA. [_He is reading a palm-leaf manuscript near the Sacred Plant. He
looks up at the sky._] It forbodes a calamity.

    [_Suddenly the Temple doors open. Shukra stands framed in the
    doorway. Seeing that Shanta is alone, Shukra walks down the steps
    toward him._]

SHUKRA. Are you able to make out the words?

SHANTA. Aye, Master.

SHUKRA. Where is Kanada?

SHANTA. He will be here presently. Listen, master: it sayeth: "Only a
hair's breadth divides the true from the false. Upon him who by thought,
word or deed confuses the two, will descend the Judgment of Indra."

SHUKRA. The thunder of Indra is just. It will strike the erring and the
unrighteous no matter where they hide themselves; in the heart of the
forest or in the silence of the cloisters, Indra's Judgment will descend
on them. Even the erring heart that knows not that it is erring will be
smitten and chastised by Indra. [_Thunder rumbles in the distance._]

SHANTA. Master, when you speak, you not only fill the heart with
ecstasy, but also the soul with the beauty of truth.

SHUKRA. To praise is good. But why praise me, who have yet to find God
and,--[_Shakes his head sadly._]

SHANTA. You will find Him soon; your time is nigh.

SHUKRA. I wish it were true.

SHANTA. Master, if there be anything that I can do for you. If I could
only lighten your burden a little,--

SHUKRA. Thou hast done that already. All the cares of the monastery thou
hast taken from me. Thou hast bound me to thee by bonds of gratitude
that can never break. [_Enter Kanada._] Ah, Kanada, how be it with you
to-day? [_Coming to him._]

KANADA. [_He is a lad of twenty and two._] By your blessing I am well
and at peace. Have you finished your meditation?

SHUKRA. [_Sadly._] Nine hours have I meditated, but--I shall say the
prayers now. [_Enters the temple and shuts the door._]

KANADA. He seems not to be himself.

SHANTA. When he is in meditation for a long time, he becomes another
being.

KANADA. There is sadness in his eyes.

SHANTA. How can he be sad,--he who has risen above joy and sorrow,
pleasure and pain, hate and love?

KANADA. Above love, too?

SHANTA. Yea, hate and love being opposite, are Maya, illusion!

KANADA. Yet we must love the world.

SHANTA. Yea, that we do to help the world.

KANADA. The Master is tender to the villagers even if they lead the
worldly life.

SHANTA. We be monks. We have broken all the ties of the world, even
those of family, so that we can bestow our thoughts, care and love upon
all the children of God. Our love is impartial. [_The thunder growls in
the distance._]

KANADA. Yea, that is the truth. Yet I think the Master loves thee more
than any other.

SHANTA. Nay, brother. He loves no one more than another. I have been
with him ten years; that makes him depend on me. But if the truth were
known,--he loves none. For he loves all. Indra, be my witness: the
Master loveth no one more than another.

KANADA. Ah, noble-souled Master! Yet I feel happy to think that he
loveth thee more than any.

SHANTA. He loves each living creature. He is not as the worldly ones who
love by comparison--this one more, the other less. Last night, as the
rain wailed without like a heart-broken woman, how his voice rose in
song of light and love! He is one of God's prophets, and a true singer
of His praise.

KANADA. I can hear him yet.

SHANTA. I will never forget the ineffable joy that glowed in his words.
Only he who has renounced all ties, can speak with such deep and undying
love. No anxiety--

KANADA. It was that of which I would speak to thee. Dost thou not see
sadness and anxiety in the Master's face?

SHANTA. He is deep in thought--naught else.

KANADA. Ever since that message was brought him the other day, he has
seemed heavy hearted. It was melancholy tidings.

SHANTA. Nay, that message had naught to do with him. [_Thunder growls.
The Temple doors open. Shukra comes out of the Temple and shuts the
doors behind him. Then he stands still in front of the Temple._]

SHUKRA. [_Calling._] Kanada.

KANADA. Yea, Master. [_He goes up to Shukra, who gives him some
directions. Kanada exits; Shukra stands looking at the sky._]

SHANTA. How wonderful a vision he is! As he stands at the threshold of
the temple he seems like a new God, another divinity come down to earth
to lead the righteous on to the realms celestial. Ah, Master, how
grateful am I to have thee as my teacher! I thank Brahma for giving thee
to me.

    [_Enter Kanada. Shukra then walks to Shanta, with Kanada following
    him._]

KANADA. Master, all is ready.

SHUKRA. Go ye to the village; ask them if all be well with them. When
the heavens are unkind--ah, if it rains another day all the crops will
be destroyed. What will they live on? No, no, it cannot be. Go ye both
down to them and take them my blessings: Tell them we will make another
offering to Indra to-night. It must not rain any more.

SHANTA. Bring out begging bowls, Kanada.

KANADA. Shall I bring the torches, too? [_Crossing._]

SHUKRA. The clouds may hide the moon; yea, the torches, too. [_Kanada
exits R._]

SHUKRA. Yea. [_Thunder growls above head._] The storm grows apace. I
hope thou wilt find shelter ere it breaks. [_A short silence._] The
world is growing darker and darker each day. Sin and Vice are gathering
around it like a vast coiling Serpent. We monks be the only ones that
can save it and set it free. Shanta, be steadfast; strengthen me. Help
me to bring the light to the world. Thou art not only my disciple, but
my friend and brother. [_He embraces Shanta._] Save me from the world.

KANADA. [_Entering._] Here be--[_Stops in surprise._]

SHUKRA. [_Releasing Shanta._] Come to me, Kanada. [_The latter does so,
Shukra putting an arm around Kanada's neck._] Little Brother--

KANADA. [_Radiantly._] Master--

SHUKRA. Be brave and free--free from the delusions of this world,
Sansara. Go yet to the village; take them our blessings! Hari be with
them all! May ye return hither safely. [_Thunder and lightning._] Ah,
Lord Indra!--Look, it is raining yonder. Go, hasten--

SHANTA. [_Taking a begging bowl and torch from Kanada._] Come!

SHUKRA. [_Putting his hands on their heads._] I bless ye both. May Indra
protect ye--[_the rest of his words are drowned by the lightning flash
and peal of thunder_].

    [_The two disciples intone_: "OM Shanti OM." _They go down the
    steps._]

SHUKRA. May this storm pass. OM Shiva. Shiva love you, my Shanta. For
ten long years he has been with me; he has greatly helped me in my
search after Him who is the only living Reality. To-day I am nearer
God--I stand at the threshold of realization. I seem to feel that it
will not be long before the Veil will be lifted and I shall press my
heart against the heart of the ultimate mystery--Who comes there?
[_Listens attentively_]. They cannot have gone and come back so soon.
Ha! another illusion! These days I am beset by endless illusions.
Perhaps that betokens the end of my search, as the gloom is always
thickest ere the dawn. Yea, after this will come the Light; I will see
God! [_Hears a noise; listens attentively._] Are they already returning?
[_Calling._] Shanta! [_He crosses and looks down. Thunder rolls very
loudly now. He does not heed that. Suddenly he recoils in agitation.
Footsteps are heard from below, rising higher and higher. Shukra rubs
his eyes to make sure that he has really seen something that is not an
illusion. He goes forward a few steps. The head of an old man rises into
view, Shukra is stupefied; walks backwards until his back touches the
Sacred plant. He stands still. The old man at last climbs the last step.
He has not noticed Shukra. He looks at the Himalayas in the rear. Then
his eyes travel over the monastery walls--Now suddenly they catch sight
of Shukra._]

SHUKRA. What seek ye here?

OLD MAN [_eyeing him carefully_]. Ah, Shukra! dost thou not recognize
thine aged father? [_He goes to Shukra with outstretched arms._]

SHUKRA. I have no father.

OLD MAN. But I am thy father. Did not my messenger come the other day?
[_Silence._] Did he lie to me? Dost thou not know thy mother is--

SHUKRA. Thy messenger came.

OLD MAN. Then come thou home at once. There is not time to be lost.
Come, my son, ere thy mother leaves this earth.

SHUKRA. I cannot go.

OLD MAN. Thou canst not go? Dost thou not know that thy mother is on her
death-bed?

SHUKRA. I have renounced the world. For twelve years I have had no
father, nor mother.

OLD MAN. Thou didst leave us, but we did not renounce thee. And now thou
shouldst come.

SHUKRA. I told thy messenger that I have no father nor mother,--I cannot
come.

OLD MAN. I heard it all. If you art born of us, thou canst not have a
heart of stone? Come, my son: I, thy father, implore thee.

SHUKRA. Nay, nay; God alone is my father.

OLD MAN. Hath it not been said in the scriptures that thy parents are
thy God? Thy father should be obeyed.

SHUKRA. That was said by one who had not seen the Truth, the Light.

OLD MAN. I command thee in the name of the Scriptures.

SHUKRA. God alone can command me.

OLD MAN. Vishnu protect me! Art thou dreaming, my child? Yonder lies thy
mother, fighting death,--

SHUKRA. I have heard it all.

OLD MAN. And yet thou wilt not go?

SHUKRA. Nay, father, I cannot go. The day I took the vow of a monk, that
day I cut the bond that binds me to you all. I must be free of all ties.
I must love none for myself that I may love all for God. Here I must
remain where God has placed me, until He calls me elsewhere.

OLD MAN. But thy mother lies, fighting with each breath. She wishes to
see thee.

SHUKRA. I cannot come.

OLD MAN. But thou must.

SHUKRA. I would if I could; but my life is in the hands of God.

OLD MAN [_mocking_]. God! Thy life belongs to God? Who gave thee life?
Not God, but she who lies there dying; what ingratitude! This, indeed,
is the age of darkness; sons are turning against their fathers,--and
killing their own mother.

SHUKRA [_quietly_]. I may not love one more than another; my steps, as
my heart, go whither God guides them.

OLD MAN [_mocking_]. Truth is thy witness?

SHUKRA. May Indra himself punish me if I love one more than another.
Hear me, Indra. [_The roll of thunder above._]

OLD MAN [_in desperation_]. Come, my son, in the name of thine own God I
pray to thee, come to thy mother. I kneel at thy feet and beg for this
boon. [_He does so._]

SHUKRA [_raising him to his feet. He puts his own head down on the old
man's feet._]

OLD MAN. Then thou comest? [_Shukra rises to his feet._]

SHUKRA [_hesitating_]. There is a law in the Sacred books that says an
ascetic should see the place of his birth every twelfth year.

OLD MAN. And it is twelve years now since thou didst renounce us! Ah!
blessed be the law.

SHUKRA. Yet, father, if I go, I go not in obedience to the law, but
since the desire to see my mother is uppermost in me, I who dreamt not
of the law hitherto--yea, now I hasten to abide by the law. Ah, what
mockery! It is not the letter of the law, but the spirit in us that
judges us sinners or saints. Now if I go with thee to obey the law, that
would be betraying the law.

OLD MAN. Betraying the law!

SHUKRA. Thought alone is the measure of our innocence. He who thinks
evil is a doer of evil indeed. Nay, nay, tempt me not with the law. I
must remain here. I must keep my vow. [_He looks up to heaven; it is
covered with enormous black clouds._]

OLD MAN. The law is not written in the heavens. It is inscribed in the
heart of man. Obey the dictates of thy heart.

SHUKRA. God alone shall be obeyed. I cannot betray His command. I, who
am an ascetic, must not yield to the desire to see my mother--Nay!
God--

OLD MAN. What manner of God is He that deprives a dying mother of her
son? Such a God never was known in Hindu life. No such God lives, nor
breathes. [_Thunder and lightning._]

SHUKRA. Erring Soul, do not blaspheme your creator. He is the God of
Truth--God of Love.

OLD MAN [_disdainfully_]. God of Love,-- How can He be God of Love if
He dries up the stream of thy heart and blinds thy reason as the clouds
blind the eyes of the Sun? Nay, thou liest. It is not the God of Love,
but the God of thine insane self--self-love that makes thee rob thy
mother of her only joy in life. I--yea, I will answer to God for thee.
If, by coming to see thy mother, thou sinnest, I ask God to make me pay
for thy sin. Come, obey thy father,--I will take the burden of thy sin,
if sin it be.

SHUKRA. Nay, each man pays for his sins as each man reaps the harvest of
his own good deeds. None can atone for another. Ah, God! cursed be the
hour when I was born. Cursed,--

OLD MAN [_angrily_]. Thou cursest thy birth?

SHUKRA. Yea, to be born in this world of woe is a curse indeed.

OLD MAN. Then curse thy tormented mind and thy desolate heart; curse
not,--

SHUKRA. Nay, I curse the hour that saw me come to this earth of delusion
and Maya. I do curse,--

OLD MAN. Thou dost dare curse the hour when thou wert born! Ah, vile
sinner! To curse the hour of thy birth when thy mother is dying! God be
my witness, he has incurred his father's wrath. Now,--no God can save
thee.

SHUKRA. Nay, nay,--

OLD MAN. Shukra. I, thy father, thy God in life, curse thee. Thou hast
deprived thy mother of her child, and her death of its solace. Thou hast
incurred the wrath of the Spirits of all thy departed ancestors.

SHUKRA [_cries out_]. Not thus; not thus. [_Thunder and lightning, the
whole sky is swept by the clouds._]

OLD MAN. Not thus? Thus alone shall it be. Cursed be thou at night;
cursed be thou by day; cursed be thou going; cursed be thou coming. Thou
art cursed by the spirit of the race, by the spirit of God. [_Continued
thunder and lightning._]

SHUKRA [_falling at his father's feet_]. I beseech thee, my father,--

OLD MAN [_shrinking away_]. Touch me not. [_Going left._] Cursed art
thou in Life and Death forever.

SHUKRA. God!--Father, go not thus.

OLD MAN. I am not thy father. [_Deafening and blinding thunder and
lightning._]

SHUKRA. Father--

OLD MAN [_going down the steps_]. Pollute not my hearing by calling me
thy father. May the judgment of Indra be upon thee! [_He totters down
out of sight, left, in anger and horror._]

SHUKRA. Father, hear, oh hear! [_The rain comes down in a deluge;
thunder and lightning. The rain blots everything out of sight. It pours
in deep, dark sheets, through which the chains and sheets of lightning
burn and run. After raining awhile, the sky clears. In the pale
moonlight, Shukra is seen crouching near the Sacred plant. He is wet and
disheveled. He slowly rises, swaying in exhaustion. Voices are heard
below._]

SHUKRA. Can it be that it is over? Has Indra judged me and found me free
of error? Yea, were I in error, the lightning would have struck me. I
lay there blinded by rain awaiting my death. It did not come. Yea, Indra
has judged! [_Noises below; he does not hear._] O, thou shadowy world, I
am free of thee at last. Free of love and loving, free of all bondage. I
have no earthly ties,--I lean on God alone. At last, I am bound to no
earthly being, not even--[_strange pause_]--not even,--Shanta. [_He
becomes conscious of the noise of approaching footsteps and the light of
the torches from below._] Who is that? [_He goes forward a few steps.
Enter Kanada, torch in hand._]

KANADA. Master, Master.

SHUKRA. Kanada, thou,--[_a pause, very brief but poignant_]. Why this
agitation? Shanta, where is Shanta?

KANADA. Shanta is--

SHUKRA [_seeing the other torches rising suddenly_]. Speak! Who comes
hither?

KANADA. They bring a dead man.

SHUKRA. Who is he? [_As a premonition of the truth comes over him._]
Where is Shanta?

KANADA [_blurts out_]. At the foot of the hill the lightning struck him.

SHUKRA [_with a terrible cry_]. Shanta,--my Shanta! [_Two men carrying
torches with one hand, and dragging something white with the other, come
up the steps. This vision silences Shukra. A pause follows. Another
torch is seen rising behind them._]

SHUKRA [_slowly_], Shanta,--gone. [_Pause again, looking into the starry
heavens._] This is the Judgment of Indra!


  [_Curtain._]




THE WORKHOUSE WARD

  A PLAY

  BY LADY GREGORY


  Copyright, 1909, by Lady Gregory.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS

    MICHAEL MISKELL     } [_Paupers_].
    MIKE MCINERNEY      }
    MRS. DONOHOE          [_a Countrywoman_].


  Reprinted from "Seven Short Plays," by Lady Gregory, published by
  G. P. Putnam's Sons, by permission of Lady Gregory and Messrs.
  G. P. Putnam's Sons.

  All acting rights, both professional and amateur, are reserved in
  the United States, Great Britain, and all countries of the Copyright
  Union, by the author. Performances forbidden and right of presentation
  reserved.

  Application for the right of performing this play or reading it in
  public should be made to Samuel French, 28 West 38th Street, New York
  City, or 26 South Hampton Street, Strand, London.



THE WORKHOUSE WARD

A PLAY BY LADY GREGORY


    [SCENE: _A ward in Cloon Workhouse. The two old men in their
    beds_.]


MICHAEL MISKELL. Isn't it a hard case, Mike McInerney, myself and
yourself to be left here in the bed, and it the feast day of Saint
Colman, and the rest of the ward attending on the Mass.

MIKE MCINERNEY. Is it sitting up by the hearth you are wishful to be,
Michael Miskell, with cold in the shoulders and with speckled shins? Let
you rise up so, and you well able to do it, not like myself that has
pains the same as tin-tacks within in my inside.

MICHAEL MISKELL. If you have pains within in your inside there is no one
can see it or know of it the way they can see my own knees that are
swelled up with the rheumatism, and my hands that are twisted in ridges
the same as an old cabbage stalk. It is easy to be talking about
soreness and about pains, and they maybe not to be in it at all.

MIKE MCINERNEY. To open me and to analyze me you would know what sort of
a pain and a soreness I have in my heart and in my chest. But I'm not
one like yourself to be cursing and praying and tormenting the time the
nuns are at hand, thinking to get a bigger share than myself of the
nourishment and of the milk.

MICHAEL MISKELL. That's the way you do be picking at me and faulting me.
I had a share and a good share in my early time, and it's well you know
that, and the both of us reared in Skehanagh.

MIKE MCINERNEY. You may say that, indeed, we are both of us reared in
Skehanagh. Little wonder you to have good nourishment the time we were
both rising, and you bringing away my rabbits out of the snare.

MICHAEL MISKELL. And you didn't bring away my own eels, I suppose, I was
after spearing in the Turlough? Selling them to the nuns in the convent
you did, and letting on they to be your own. For you were always a
cheater and a schemer, grabbing every earthly thing for your own profit.

MIKE MCINERNEY. And you were no grabber yourself, I suppose, till your
land and all you had grabbed wore away from you!

MICHAEL MISKELL. If I lost it itself, it was through the crosses I met
with and I going through the world. I never was a rambler and a
card-player like yourself, Mike McInerney, that ran through all and
lavished it unknown to your mother!

MIKE MCINERNEY. Lavished it, is it? And if I did was it you yourself led
me to lavish it or some other one? It is on my own floor I would be
to-day and in the face of my family, but for the misfortune I had to be
put with a bad next door neighbor that was yourself. What way did my
means go from me is it? Spending on fencing, spending on walls, making
up gates, putting up doors, that would keep your hens and your ducks
from coming in through starvation on my floor, and every four footed
beast you had from preying and trespassing on my oats and my mangolds
and my little lock of hay!

MICHAEL MISKELL. O to listen to you! And I striving to please you and to
be kind to you and to close my ears to the abuse you would be calling
and letting out of your mouth. To trespass on your crops is it? It's
little temptation there was for my poor beasts to ask to cross the
mering. My God Almighty! What had you but a little corner of a field!

MIKE MCINERNEY. And what do you say to my garden that your two pigs had
destroyed on me the year of the big tree being knocked, and they making
gaps in the wall.

MICHAEL MISKELL. Ah, there does be a great deal of gaps knocked in a
twelve-month. Why wouldn't they be knocked by the thunder, the same as
the tree, or some storm that came up from the west?

MIKE MCINERNEY. It was the west wind, I suppose, that devoured my green
cabbage? And that rooted up my Champion potatoes? And that ate the
gooseberries themselves from off the bush?

MICHAEL MISKELL. What are you saying? The two quietest pigs ever I had,
no way wicked and well ringed. They were not ten minutes in it. It would
be hard for them to eat strawberries in that time, let alone
gooseberries that's full of thorns.

MIKE MCINERNEY. They were not quiet, but very ravenous pigs you had that
time, as active as a fox they were, killing my young ducks. Once they
had blood tasted you couldn't stop them.

MICHAEL MISKELL. And what happened myself the fair day of Esserkelly,
the time I was passing your door? Two brazened dogs that rushed out and
took a piece of me. I never was the better of it or of the start I got,
but wasting from then till now!

MIKE MCINERNEY. Thinking you were a wild beast they did, that had made
his escape out of the traveling show, with the red eyes of you and the
ugly face of you, and the two crooked legs of you that wouldn't hardly
stop a pig in a gap. Sure any dog that had any life in it at all would
be roused and stirred seeing the like of you going the road!

MICHAEL MISKELL. I did well taking out a summons against you that time.
It is a great wonder you not to have been bound over through your
lifetime, but the laws of England is queer.

MIKE MCINERNEY. What ailed me that I did not summons yourself after you
stealing away the clutch of eggs I had in the barrel, and I away in
Ardrahan searching out a clocking hen.

MICHAEL MISKELL. To steal your eggs is it? Is that what you are saying
now? [_Holds up his hands._] The Lord is in heaven, and Peter and the
saints, and yourself that was in Ardrahan that day put a hand on them as
soon as myself! Isn't it a bad story for me to be wearing out my days
beside you the same as a spancelled goat. Chained I am and tethered I am
to a man that is ram-shacking his mind for lies!

MIKE MCINERNEY. If it is a bad story for you, Michael Miskell, it is a
worse story again for myself. A Miskell to be next and near me through
the whole of the four quarters of the year. I never heard there to be
any great name on the Miskells as there was on my own race and name.

MICHAEL MISKELL. You didn't, is it? Well, you could hear it if you had
but ears to hear it. Go across to Lisheen Crannagh and down to the sea
and to Newtown Lynch and the mills of Duras and you'll find a Miskell,
and as far as Dublin!

MIKE MCINERNEY. What signifies Crannagh and the mills of Duras? Look at
all my own generations that are buried at the Seven Churches. And how
many generations of the Miskells are buried in it? Answer me that!

MICHAEL MISKELL. I tell you but for the wheat that was to be sowed there
would be more side cars and more common cars at my father's funeral (God
rest his soul!) than at any funeral ever left your own door. And as to
my mother, she was a Cuffe from Claregalway, and it's she had the purer
blood!

MIKE MCINERNEY. And what do you say to the banshee? Isn't she apt to
have knowledge of the ancient race? Was ever she heard to screech or to
cry for the Miskells? Or for the Cuffes from Claregalway? She was not,
but for the six families, the Hyneses, the Foxes, the Faheys, the
Dooleys, the McInerneys. It is of the nature of the McInerneys she is I
am thinking, crying them the same as a king's children.

MICHAEL MISKELL. It is a pity the banshee not to be crying for yourself
at this minute, and giving you a warning to quit your lies and your chat
and your arguing and your contrary ways; for there is no one under the
rising sun could stand you. I tell you you are not behaving as in the
presence of the Lord.

MIKE MCINERNEY. Is it wishful for my death you are? Let it come and meet
me now and welcome so long as it will part me from yourself! And I say,
and I would kiss the book on it, I to have one request only to be
granted, and I leaving it in my will, it is what I would request, nine
furrows of the field, nine ridges of the hills, nine waves of the ocean
to be put between your grave and my own grave the time we will be laid
in the ground!

MICHAEL MISKELL. Amen to that! Nine ridges, is it? No, but let the whole
ridge of the world separate us till the Day of Judgment! I would not be
laid anear you at the Seven Churches, I to get Ireland without a divide!

MIKE MCINERNEY. And after that again! I'd sooner than ten pound in my
hand, I to know that my shadow and my ghost will not be knocking about
with your shadow and your ghost, and the both of us waiting our time.
I'd sooner be delayed in Purgatory! Now, have you anything to say?

MICHAEL MISKELL. I have everything to say, if I had but the time to say
it!

MIKE MCINERNEY. [_Sitting up._] Let me up out of this till I'll choke
you!

MICHAEL MISKELL. You scolding pauper you!

MIKE MCINERNEY. [_Shaking his fist at him._] Wait a while!

MICHAEL MISKELL. [_Shaking his fist._] Wait a while yourself!

    [_Mrs. Donohoe comes in with a parcel. She is a countrywoman with
    a frilled cap and a shawl. She stands still a minute. The two old
    men lie down and compose themselves._]

MRS. DONOHOE. They bade me come up here by the stair. I never was in
this place at all. I don't know am I right. Which now of the two of ye
is Mike McInerney?

MIKE MCINERNEY. Who is it is calling me by my name?

MRS. DONOHOE. Sure amn't I your sister, Honor McInerney that was, that
is now Honor Donohoe.

MIKE MCINERNEY. So you are, I believe. I didn't know you till you pushed
anear me. It is time indeed for you to come see me, and I in this place
five year or more. Thinking me to be no credit to you, I suppose, among
that tribe of the Donohoes. I wonder they to give you leave to come ask
am I living yet or dead?

MRS. DONOHOE. Ah, sure, I buried the whole string of them. Himself was
the last to go. [_Wipes her eyes._] The Lord be praised he got a fine
natural death. Sure we must go through our crosses. And he got a lovely
funeral; it would delight you to hear the priest reading the Mass. My
poor John Donohoe! A nice clean man, you couldn't but be fond of him.
Very severe on the tobacco he was, but he wouldn't touch the drink.

MIKE MCINERNEY. And is it in Curranroe you are living yet?

MRS. DONOHOE. It is so. He left all to myself. But it is a lonesome
thing the head of a house to have died!

MIKE MCINERNEY. I hope that he has left you a nice way of living?

MRS. DONOHOE. Fair enough, fair enough. A wide lovely house I have; a
few acres of grass land ... the grass does be very sweet that grows
among the stones. And as to the sea, there is something from it every
day of the year, a handful of periwinkles to make kitchen, or cockles
maybe. There is many a thing in the sea is not decent, but cockles is
fit to put before the Lord!

MIKE MCINERNEY. You have all that! And you without e'er a man in the
house?

MRS. DONOHOE. It is what I am thinking, yourself might come and keep me
company. It is no credit to me a brother of my own to be in this place
at all.

MIKE MCINERNEY. I'll go with you! Let me out of this! It is the name of
the McInerneys will be rising on every side!

MRS. DONOHOE. I don't know. I was ignorant of you being kept to the bed.

MIKE MCINERNEY. I am not kept to it, but maybe an odd time when there is
a colic rises up within me. My stomach always gets better the time there
is a change in the moon. I'd like well to draw anear you. My heavy
blessing on you, Honor Donohoe, for the hand you have held out to me
this day.

MRS. DONOHOE. Sure you could be keeping the fire in, and stirring the
pot with the bit of Indian meal for the hens, and milking the goat and
taking the tacklings off the donkey at the door; and maybe putting out
the cabbage plants in their time. For when the old man died the garden
died.

MIKE MCINERNEY. I could to be sure, and be cutting the potatoes for
seed. What luck could there be in a place and a man not to be in it? Is
that now a suit of clothes you have brought with you?

MRS. DONOHOE. It is so, the way you will be tasty coming in among the
neighbors at Curranroe.

MIKE MCINERNEY. My joy you are! It is well you earned me! Let me up out
of this! [_He sits up and spreads out the clothes and tries on coat._]
That now is a good frieze coat ... and a hat in the fashion.... [_He
puts on hat._]

MICHAEL MISKELL [_alarmed_]. And is it going out of this you are, Mike
McInerney?

MIKE MCINERNEY. Don't you hear I am going? To Curranroe I am going.
Going I am to a place where I will get every good thing!

MICHAEL MISKELL. And is it to leave me here after you you will?

MIKE MCINERNEY [_in a rising chant_]. Every good thing! The goat and the
kid are there, the sheep and the lamb are there, the cow does be running
and she coming to be milked! Plowing and seed sowing, blossom at
Christmas time, the cuckoo speaking through the dark days of the year!
Ah, what are you talking about? Wheat high in hedges, no talk about the
rent! Salmon in the rivers as plenty as hurf! Spending and getting and
nothing scarce! Sport and pleasure, and music on the strings! Age will
go from me and I will be young again. Geese and turkeys for the hundreds
and drink for the whole world!

MICHAEL MISKELL. Ah, Mike, is it truth you are saying, you to go from me
and to leave me with rude people and with townspeople, and with people
of every parish in the union, and they having no respect for me or no
wish for me at all!

MIKE MCINERNEY. Whist now and I'll leave you ... my pipe [_hands it
over_]; and I'll engage it is Honor Donohoe won't refuse to be sending
you a few ounces of tobacco an odd time, and neighbors coming to the
fair in November or in the month of May.

MICHAEL MISKELL. Ah, what signifies tobacco? All that I am craving is
the talk. There to be no one at all to say out to whatever thought might
be rising in my innate mind! To be lying here and no conversible person
in it would be the abomination of misery!

MIKE MCINERNEY. Look now, Honor.... It is what I often heard said, two
to be better than one.... Sure if you had an old trouser was full of
holes ... or a skirt ... wouldn't you put another in under it that might
be as tattered as itself, and the two of them together would make some
sort of a decent show?

MRS. DONOHOE. Ah, what are you saying? There is no holes in that suit I
brought you now, but as sound it is as the day I spun it for himself.

MIKE MCINERNEY. It is what I am thinking, Honor.... I do be weak an odd
time.... Any load I would carry, it preys upon my side ... and this man
does be weak an odd time with the swelling in his knees ... but the two
of us together it's not likely it is at the one time we would fail.
Bring the both of us with you, Honor, and the height of the castle of
luck on you, and the both of us together will make one good hardy man!

MRS. DONOHOE. I'd like my job! Is it queer in the head you are grown
asking me to bring in a stranger off the road?

MICHAEL MISKELL. I am not, ma'am, but an old neighbor I am. If I had
forecasted this asking I would have asked it myself. Michael Miskell I
am, that was in the next house to you in Skehanagh!

MRS. DONOHOE. For pity's sake! Michael Miskell is it? That's worse
again. Yourself and Mike that never left fighting and scolding and
attacking one another! Sparring at one another like two young pups you
were, and threatening one another after like two grown dogs!

MIKE MCINERNEY. All the quarreling was ever in the place it was myself
did it. Sure his anger rises fast and goes away like the wind. Bring him
out with myself now, Honor Donohoe, and God bless you.

MRS. DONOHOE. Well, then, I will not bring him out, and I will not bring
yourself out, and you not to learn better sense. Are you making yourself
ready to come?

MIKE MCINERNEY. I am thinking, maybe ... it is a mean thing for a man
that is shivering into seventy years to go changing from place to place.

MRS. DONOHOE. Well, take your luck or leave it. All I asked was to save
you from the hurt and the harm of the year.

MIKE MCINERNEY. Bring the both of us with you or I will not stir out of
this.

MRS. DONOHOE. Give me back my fine suit so [_begins gathering up the
clothes_], till I go look for a man of my own!

MIKE MCINERNEY. Let you go so, as you are so unnatural and so
disobliging, and look for some man of your own, God help him! For I will
not go with you at all!

MRS. DONOHOE. It is too much time I lost with you, and dark night
waiting to overtake me on the road. Let the two of you stop together,
and the back of my hand to you. It is I will leave you there the same as
God left the Jews!

    [_She goes out. The old men lie down and are silent for a moment._]

MICHAEL MISKELL. Maybe the house is not so wide as what she says.

MIKE MCINERNEY. Why wouldn't it be wide?

MICHAEL MISKELL. Ah, there does be a good deal of middling poor houses
down by the sea.

MIKE MCINERNEY. What would you know about wide houses? Whatever sort of
a house you had yourself it was too wide for the provision you had into
it.

MICHAEL MISKELL. Whatever provision I had in my house it was wholesome
provision and natural provision. Herself and her periwinkles!
Periwinkles is a hungry sort of food.

MIKE MCINERNEY. Stop your impudence and your chat or it will be the
worse for you. I'd bear with my own father and mother as long as any man
would, but if they'd vex me I would give them the length of a rope as
soon as another!

MICHAEL MISKELL. I would never ask at all to go eating periwinkles.

MIKE MCINERNEY [_sitting up_]. Have you any one to fight me?

MICHAEL MISKELL [_whimpering_]. I have not, only the Lord!

MIKE MCINERNEY. Let you leave putting insults on me so, and death
picking at you!

MICHAEL MISKELL. Sure I am saying nothing at all to displease you. It is
why I wouldn't go eating periwinkles, I'm in dread I might swallow the
pin.

MIKE MCINERNEY. Who in the world wide is asking you to eat them? You're
as tricky as a fish in the full tide!

MICHAEL MISKELL. Tricky is it! Oh, my curse and the curse of the four
and twenty men upon you!

MIKE MCINERNEY. That the worm may chew you from skin to marrow bone!
[_Seizes his pillow._]

MICHAEL MISKELL [_seizing his own pillow_]. I'll leave my death on you,
you scheming vagabone!

MIKE MCINERNEY. By cripes! I'll pull out your pin feathers! [_throwing
pillow_].

MICHAEL MISKELL [_throwing pillow_]. You tyrant! You big bully you!

MIKE MCINERNEY [_throwing pillow and seizing mug_]. Take this so, you
stabbing ruffian you!

    [_They throw all within their reach at one another, mugs, prayer
    books, pipes, etc._]


  [_Curtain._]




LOUISE

  A PLAY

  BY J. H. SPEENHOFF
  TRANSLATED FROM THE DUTCH BY A. V. C. P. HUIZINGA AND PIERRE LOVING.


  Acting rights reserved by Pierre Loving.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS

    LOUISE.
    VAN DER ELST [_Notary_].
    VENNEMA [_Louise's Father_].
    SOPHIE [_Serving Maid_].


  Applications for permissions to produce LOUISE must be addressed to
  Pierre Loving, 240 W. 4.



LOUISE

A PLAY BY J. H. SPEENHOFF


    [SCENE: _A large fashionably appointed room with few decorations
    on the walls. The latter are papered in yellow with large black
    lilies. To the right, a tall broad window with heavy brown
    curtains. To the left, an old gold harp with a little footstool.
    Behind, to the right, a door with brown portières, affording a
    view of a vestibule and banister. To the left, down front, a broad
    couch with black head cushions. Next to it the end of a heavy
    broad oaken table, with the side turned toward the couch. Behind,
    the back wall has an open chimney with carved wood and ornaments
    on it. Beside the chimney, on both sides, are two large
    comfortable chairs and two others by the table and window
    respectively. On the table are the remains of breakfast: fruit
    glasses and two empty champagne bottles_.

    _As the curtain rises Louise is discovered lying on the couch with
    her feet extended toward the audience. She lies quietly and gazes
    blankly in the distance. Closer scrutiny reveals that she is in
    the last stage of intoxication. On the whole, it is rather a
    lady-like inebriety and expresses itself now and again by way of a
    heavy sigh, looseness of limb, a languid flutter of the eyelids
    and a disposition to be humorous. It is about three in the
    afternoon. As for the tone of the room, there are a lot of
    yellows, blacks and browns; the light is quite subdued. Soon after
    the rise of the curtain, Louise begins slowly and dreamily to hum
    a melody. She stops for a while, gazes blankly around and starts
    humming again. Then she raises herself, crosses her arms on the
    tables and rests her head on them. Her hair is loosely
    arranged--or disarranged. Her dressing gown is black and white._

    _A bell is rung downstairs. Louise does not seem to hear it.
    Another ting-a-ling. You can hear the maid going downstairs. The
    door opens and shuts. Two pairs of feet are heard climbing the
    stairs. The maid parts the portières, shows Van der Elst in and
    points Louise out to him, meanwhile remaining discreetly behind
    the portières._

    _The truth is that Sophie is very much embarrassed. She looks as
    if she has been called away from her proper duties. She is a
    healthy maid, with tousled blond hair, cotton dress, blue apron,
    maid's cap and is in her stocking feet. She goes toward Louise,
    then stops confusedly at a little distance from her. She moves a
    chair needlessly, in timid embarrassment, and wipes her lips with
    her apron._]


SOPHIE. Here's a gentleman to see you--to see--you, madam.

    [_Louise doesn't hear._]

SOPHIE [_approaches the end of table_]. A gentleman has come--come to
see--you.

LOUISE [_raising herself on her elbows; with her head on her hands_].
What are you doing?

SOPHIE [_confusedly_]. I--madam? Why, nothing. But there's a gentleman
... you see....

LOUISE. A gentleman? Very well, you may go. [_She closes her eyes._]

SOPHIE. But ... but ... he wishes to speak to you. A gray-haired
gentleman. He is standing by the portières ... over there. [_Indicates
Van Elst._]

    [_Louise does not pay any attention to Sophie or Van Elst, but
    composes herself for another nap on the couch._]

SOPHIE. May he come in? [_A long pause._] May he...? [_Louise does not
answer. Sophie waits a bit, then she beckons Van Elst into the room._]
She won't answer, sir. Maybe you'd better come back in an hour or
so....

VAN ELST. Hm! No. That's impossible. [_Looks at Louise._] What's the
matter with madam? Is she asleep?

SOPHIE. No ... you see ... she is, you know....

VAN ELST [_approaching_]. What?

SOPHIE. She isn't well....

VAN ELST. Ah, not well?

SOPHIE. Yes, from.... [_Hesitates._]

VAN ELST [_spying the bottles on the table_]. Has madam consumed those?

SOPHIE. Yes, yes. It's awful. [_Pause._]

VAN ELST. Does this happen very often?

SOPHIE. Yes. Oh, yes, quite often.

VAN ELST. Indeed!

SOPHIE. Hadn't you better go until ... for a while?

VAN ELST. No, no. I shall....

SOPHIE. Very well, sir, you know best. [_Sophie goes out of the room on
tiptoe._]

    [_Now that Sophie is out of the room, one has an opportunity to
    scrutinize Van Elst more closely. He is a prosperous-looking
    country gentleman about fifty years old. He wears a shining
    tophat, white vest with a gold chain across his stomach,
    tight-fitting blue trousers, low shoes, white socks and a short
    blue coat. He is clean-shaven and when he removes his hat, one
    observes that his hair is close-cropped. His walking-stick,
    contrary to expectations, is light and slim. He takes a chair near
    the window, directly behind the harp, puts his hat, cane and
    gloves beside him on the floor and looks around. He glances at
    Louise, shakes his head solemnly, coughs, wipes his forehead, puts
    his handkerchief carefully away, coughs again, moves his chair and
    after some signs of nervousness, says_]:

VAN ELST. Miss ... may I have a word with you? [_Louise doesn't hear._]

VAN ELST [_with growing embarrassment_]. I ... I should like to speak to
you.

LOUISE [_a little wildly_]. Are you there?

VAN ELST [_taken aback_]. Yes ... no ... yes.... I.... Whom do you mean?

LOUISE. Come here beside me.

VAN ELST [_astonished_]. Certainly, but....

LOUISE [_sighing_]. Come ... come.

VAN ELST. Aren't you making a mistake? I'm not....

LOUISE [_raising herself halfway, left elbow on table, head on hand, the
other arm outstretched on the table. She looks unseeingly at him_].
Don't you want to?

VAN ELST. But I'm not ... how shall I put it? I've come to speak with
you very seriously.

LOUISE [_has seated herself in the middle of the couch. She extends her
arms with a smiling invitation_]. Don't you dare?

VAN ELST [_very considerably embarrassed by this time. He coughs and
mops his face_]. It isn't quite necessary. We can talk this way.

LOUISE [_smiling_]. I will come to you, you know. Ah, you don't
realize....

VAN ELST [_rising, disturbed_]. No. Please stay where you are. Don't
trouble yourself. I can hear you from where you are, and you can hear
me.

LOUISE [_ignores his words completely, gets up dizzily and gropes with
the aid of the table toward the chair. She leans on the arm of the chair
and looks at Van Elst. She points out the small chair_]. Come here.

VAN ELST [_after some deliberation, sits at her side_]. We had
better.... [_His voice dies in a mutter._]

LOUISE [_insistent_]. No. Here at my side. Sit close to me, then I'll be
able to hear you better.

VAN ELST [_pulling his chair closer_]. I don't see why....

LOUISE. Don't you think I'm very beautiful and wise?

VAN ELST. I have very serious things to discuss with you. Will you
listen to me? [_He assumes an important pose._]

LOUISE. Why do you take on such a severe tone? You must be more
gentle--very gentle.

VAN ELST. Hm! Very well. First let me tell you who I am. My name is Van
der Elst. I'm the new attorney back home, and I am a friend of your
father's.

LOUISE. Well?

VAN ELST. I think a lot of your father. As you know, Mr. Degudo was your
father's lawyer; but he's gone away and I've taken his place.

LOUISE. Why am I honored with these confidences?

VAN ELST. You ought to know who I am.

LOUISE. Well, what's your name?

VAN ELST [_angrily_]. I told you that my name is Van der Elst,
attorney-at-law.

LOUISE [_smiling vapidly_]. Have you any bonbons with you?

VAN ELST. What sort of a question is that, madam? You're not listening
to me. [_He gets up angrily, about to collect his effects prior to
leaving._]

LOUISE. Are you leaving me so soon? If I were you, I wouldn't leave.

    [_Van Elst walks back and forth in annoyance, muttering all the
    while._]

LOUISE. What are you muttering about? Come here and sit by my side. Last
week I received flowers from an old gentleman, an old gentleman. At
least that is what the girl said. He sent them for my shoulders, mind
you. You see, he had seen my shoulders. Please sit down. That's why he
sent me flowers--[_extending her hand_] and this ring came with them.
Look! [_Van der Elst has taken a seat. She thrusts her hand before his
face._] It's the thin one.

VAN ELST. Madam, I didn't come for this frivolity.

LOUISE. What would you give if you could kiss me?

    [_Van Elst coughs and fumbles with his handkerchief._]

LOUISE. Do you know what I suspect? I suspect that you are the old
gentleman in question.

VAN ELST [_getting up in high dudgeon_]. Madam, I consider that
accusation entirely improper, in view of the fact that I am a
respectable married man. I want you to know that I keep out of these
things. My reputation is above reproach. Do you intend to listen to me
or not?

LOUISE. Don't shout so.

VAN ELST. Do you talk this way always? You amaze me.

LOUISE [_smiling_]. I suspect you are the gentleman with the pretty
touch about my shoulders. Well, sit down. Is he gone? Are you gone?

VAN ELST [_stepping forwardly boldly_]. I am still here. This is
positively the last time I'll ask you to listen to me. I assure you, my
patience is nearly exhausted. Your father and mother, your family have
asked me to bring the following to your notice. Your present conduct has
caused a great scandal. You've left your family for a man who is too far
above you socially ever to make you his wife. Consequently, you have
become his mistress.

LOUISE. Eh?

VAN ELST. I'm not through yet. Your father and mother have requested me
to ask you to come back home. They await you with open arms.

LOUISE. Don't be silly. Sit down.

VAN ELST. Oh, it's useless.

LOUISE [_incoherently_]. Will you promise to tell me?

VAN ELST. I suppose I'll have to wait. [_He sits down in utter
despair._]

LOUISE [_goes up to him unsteadily, groping for the arm of the chair.
With a laugh_]. Tell me, which one was it. This shoulder or this one?
Ah, aren't you clever! You're the old gentleman, aren't you, you old
duck?

VAN ELST. A useless commission. Poor parents!

LOUISE. What's that? The joke's on me.

VAN ELST. Next she'll ask me to dance with her, I suppose.

LOUISE. Dance? No dancing. Don't get up. You needn't get up. I don't
mean it ... really, I don't.

    [_Louise sits in front of the harp and runs her fingers idly over
    the strings. Then slowly, she plays the same melody she hummed
    previously. She hums it again dreamily. The music grows softer and
    softer. She sighs, stops playing, her head drops to her hands and
    she falls limply to the floor._]

VAN ELST. Good God, what's this? It wasn't my fault. I suppose I was
cruel to her. [_Walks excitedly back and forth. Sophie enters._]

SOPHIE. What's the matter?

VAN ELST. Look at your mistress. I can't make out what's wrong with her.

SOPHIE. Oh, that's nothing. It happens every day. Just a fainting fit.

VAN ELST. What a life! What a life! Why don't you do something? She
can't be allowed to lie there that way.

SOPHIE. Just a minute. [_She seizes Louise by the waist and lifts her
from the floor. Van Elst assists her._]

SOPHIE. Nothing to worry about [_arranging Louise's clothes_]. Now you
lie here and you'll be quite all right in a very short while. She gets
that way quite frequently.

VAN ELST [_sinks into a chair_]. This is frightful.

SOPHIE [_confidentially_]. Madam drinks heavily in the afternoons and in
the evening, too, when the master is here. Yes, and then they sing
together and madam plays on that thing there. [_Points to the harp._]
It's very nice sometimes.

VAN ELST. Who is the master?

SOPHIE. I don't know, sir. But that's what I've been told to call him.

VAN ELST. Are they happy together? Or do they sometimes quarrel?

SOPHIE. I don't know. I don't think so, for he's very good and likes her
very much.

VAN ELST. Madam never weeps or is sad? I ask these questions for madam's
sake.

SOPHIE. Oh, yes, she weeps sometimes. But it's mostly when she hasn't
had a drink and feels out of sorts. But it's soon cured when I fetch the
wine.

VAN ELST. Then she occasionally thinks of her home. That may help us.

SOPHIE. May I suggest something, sir? [_She busies herself clearing off
the table._] If I were you, I should go away quietly.

VAN ELST. Go away?

SOPHIE. For madam can't bear men folks around her when she sobers up. If
I were you, I'd go away.

VAN ELST. No, I'll stay. If she's sober after a while, perhaps she'll be
able to talk to me coherently.

SOPHIE. You must know best. But I warn you, madam can't bear to have
anybody else with her.

VAN ELST. What! Do you think I came for that purpose?

SOPHIE. Of course. You're not trying to tell me that you came to read
the newspaper with her.

VAN ELST. You keep your mouth shut. I've come to ask madam to return to
her parents.

SOPHIE. Oh, that's it, is it? You're from the family. I see. Of course
... but she won't go with you.

LOUISE [_dreaming aloud_]. William, William! He's bolting. Help! Help!
Oh, the brown mare! Look! [_Sighs._]

SOPHIE. She's delirious again. She goes on like that a lot. She was in a
carriage with the master the other day, when the horse bolted. That's
what she always dreams about these days.

LOUISE. Ah, wait. I left my earrings at the doctor's. Mother, mother, I
love you so. [_She sighs heavily. A ring is heard below._]

VAN ELST. Ah, that's Mr. Vennema. Open the door for him. It's her
father.

SOPHIE. Ought I let him in? He mustn't see her in that condition.

VAN ELST. Please open the door.

SOPHIE. Oh, all right. [_She goes out._]

    [_Van der Elst listens._]

LOUISE. Hopla, hopla, hopla....

    [_Vennema and Sophie mount the stairs._]

SOPHIE [_to Vennema behind the portières_]. Come this way, sir. You may
come in.

    [_Vennema comes in hesitating and stops at the door. He is a
    kindly country parson type, wholly gray, with a gray beard and
    mustache. He is wearing an ecclesiastical hat, a black coat and
    black trousers. He gazes about anxiously and finally his eyes
    light on Van der Elst. Van der Elst beckons to Vennema and
    indicates Louise on the couch. Sophie goes out._]

VAN ELST. There she is.

VENNEMA. Is she ill?

VAN ELST. No, that isn't it. She's dreaming. She's very nervous. She was
quite agitated a moment ago.

VENNEMA. What did she say?

VAN ELST. She wouldn't listen to me. She insisted on speaking of other
things. As a matter of fact; she acted very queerly.

LOUISE. First prize ... splendid.

VENNEMA. What's the matter with her?

VAN ELST. I don't know. Nerves perhaps.

VENNEMA. Has she had a fainting spell?

VAN ELST. Don't worry about it. She'll be better in a little while.

VENNEMA [_noticing the bottles_]. Is she...?

VAN ELST. I don't know.

VENNEMA. Couldn't you tell? You may tell me.

VAN ELST. Yes; I think a little.

VENNEMA. That hurts. I never thought she would allow herself to get into
such a state. Has she been this way for a long time?

VAN ELST. About ten minutes, I should say. But she'll be quite all right
in a little while.

VENNEMA. I can't help being distressed over it. That she should have
descended to this!

VAN ELST. Do you know what the maid told me? She said that they are
happy together, and that he is truly in love with her.

VENNEMA. Yes. But why did he allow her to go this far?

VAN ELST. She won't see anybody.

VENNEMA. Not even me? Her father?

VAN ELST. Perhaps you.

VENNEMA. What do you think? Will she come home with us? Have you found
out?

VAN ELST. She didn't pay any attention to me. She didn't quite
understand my mission. I don't know. Perhaps you had better speak to
her.

LOUISE [_calling_]. I.... Oh.... Help! [_She sits up in the middle of
the couch, with her hands to her face. She droops and seems to fall
asleep in a sitting posture._]

VENNEMA. Is she...?

VAN ELST. Yes, she's coming to.

LOUISE [_wakes with a start_]. Bah! [_She looks around, does not
recognize Van der Elst and Vennema. Then, peering closer, she registers
surprise, sudden fright and finally anger. Van der Elst is about to
speak, but she interrupts him._]

LOUISE. Who are you? [_Coughs._] Who are you and what is your business
here? Go away.... Go away.

VAN ELST. Madam.... I....

VENNEMA. Let me speak. [_He goes toward Louise._] Louise ... it is I.
Don't you recognize me? [_After a pause._] Louise!

LOUISE [_after a pause_]. Father!

VENNEMA. Aren't you glad to see your father?

LOUISE [_in a low tone of voice_]. Oh, father.

VENNEMA. You are not ill, my child?

LOUISE. No. Why have you come?

VENNEMA. I wanted to speak to you.

LOUISE. Why did you come? Why?

VENNEMA [_seating himself beside Louise on the couch_]. Listen to me, my
dear.

LOUISE. Yes.

VENNEMA. I came to find out whether you are happy or not.

LOUISE. I don't know. Happy ... that's a strange word.

VENNEMA. Why strange? Are you happier here than--with us.

LOUISE [_leaning forward on her hands_]. Than with you? [_Looking up._]
I prefer to be here.

VENNEMA. Don't you miss us all, just the least little bit?

LOUISE. Sometimes, when I'm alone. All the same, I'd rather be here.

VENNEMA. Aren't you deluding yourself? Wasn't your life with us at home
better?

LOUISE. Better? What do you mean, better?

VENNEMA. You know what I mean. Don't you regret running off with ... him
... and spreading sorrow in our hearts?

LOUISE. I loved him. And then I yearned for freedom, for the pleasures
of life and travel. At home everything was so dull and monotonous. I
couldn't stand the smug people at home. Their life is one round of lying
and gossiping, of scolding and backbiting.

VENNEMA. But what of this sort of existence? You don't quite appreciate
the damage you have done. How you have stained the fair reputation of
your parents. I wonder whether that has ever occurred to you? You say
that you do not like the people who are our neighbors back home, but it
is these very people who make and unmake reputations. We must live with
them. Can't you realize that?

LOUISE. Father, I'm sorry, but I couldn't go back to them. The
commonplace tattlers with their humdrum, uneventful lives scarcely exist
for me.

VENNEMA. They don't exist for you, you say. But, remember, that they
despise you. They and their contempt do not reach you, but they reach
us.

LOUISE [_almost inaudibly_]. Yes.

VENNEMA. But your future? Have you thought of that? What will it be?
Wretchedness and contempt. When I came in and saw you stretched out in
that condition, I....

LOUISE. Father, I want to forget. I don't want to think of the past.

VENNEMA. In order not to think of the past, you resort to drink?

LOUISE. Sometimes it is hard to forget.

VENNEMA. Tell me, Louise: does he love you, and do you love him? And
even if this be true, will he continue to love you always? Won't the
time come when he will grow indifferent to you?

LOUISE [_getting up_]. Never ... never. Not he. You don't believe that
such a thing is impossible? He cannot forget me. I have given him
everything ... my love, myself ... all that is truly myself.

VENNEMA. Aren't you a little too optimistic?

LOUISE. Not when it concerns him. He knows what I have sacrificed. He
knows what I have given him. There is no room for doubt, father.

VENNEMA. Very well, we will not speak of it again. But how about us,
Louise? Don't you ever think of us? Don't you ever long to come back to
us, to the old home where you were born? Wouldn't you like to see it
again?

LOUISE [_sadly_]. Yes.

VENNEMA [_anxious and excited_]. Then come back with me. Come back to
us. You know my motive for coming. Won't you come back home with me?
Everything is in perfect readiness for you: your little room, the
flowers, the trees ... everything. Louise....

LOUISE. Father, that can never be. Never.

VENNEMA. Why not? We have arranged everything. Nothing will be lacking
for your welcome, your comfort.

LOUISE. Why should I bring misfortune to you? It would simply add to
your unhappiness. Isn't it better now that I am away from home? Later
on, perhaps.

VENNEMA. Later on? Did it ever occur to you that there may be no later
on? You may not find us then. We are getting old, your mother and I.

LOUISE. Don't, please!

VENNEMA. Come, Louise. Come. Think of the happiness.

LOUISE. How about the townfolks? Would they accept me again, do you
think?

VENNEMA. Don't think of them. Those who are sincerely friendly to us,
will continue to be so. The rest don't count. Ah, if we only could have
you back, my child!

LOUISE [_after a pause_]. Father, I cannot go back. Don't you see that
it is utterly impossible? I am changed now. And then I am not strong
enough. Life is so long and I cannot bear to face it alone.

VENNEMA. But you will have us. You belong to us, and your place, if you
have a place in the world, is with your mother and father. Your old home
is waiting for you with welcoming arms. Summer is coming and you know
how splendid the garden and the orchard are when the lilac trees are in
bloom. Do you remember the little tree you planted once? Doesn't your
heart yearn to see the little flowers that have sprouted on its
branches? Everything is just waiting for you to come home.

LOUISE [_dreamily_]. Everything....

VENNEMA. You will come, won't you?

LOUISE. I cannot. I simply cannot. It is your happiness that I am
thinking of. The intrusion of my life would spoil everything. Everybody
will blame you.

VENNEMA. My child, I have long ago put behind me what the world says.

LOUISE [_suddenly_]. And William? What about William? What about him
when I go back? No, I can't do it. I cannot leave him.

VENNEMA. What about your mother, Louise? She is waiting for you. She
will be at the window to-night, waiting and peering out. Your chair is
ready for you and she herself will open the door to greet you, to take
you to her heart again. Do you know, Louise, she has been getting very
gray of late. Come.

LOUISE. Mother isn't ill?

VENNEMA. Your mother wants to see you before she....

LOUISE [_rising to her feet_]. I ... I will do it.

VENNEMA. Thank you, my child. [_He embraces her_]. We shall go at once.

LOUISE. Ring for Sophie, please. Yes, we will go at once. [_Close to
him._] Mother is not seriously ill?

VENNEMA. I am sure, your return will be her cure.

VAN ELST [_who has listened attentively throughout the whole
conversation_]. Madam, permit me also to thank you for this resolve to
return home. You are going to make many hearts joyful because of your
decision.

LOUISE. I hope so.

SOPHIE [_enters_]. Is there anything you wish, madam?

LOUISE. Pack my traveling bag. Get my black hat and gray coat. I am
leaving at once.

SOPHIE. Very well, madam, but....

LOUISE. Lose no time about it. I'm in a hurry.

SOPHIE. A lady called to see, madam, and I told her you were engaged.

LOUISE. What did she want? Did she say?

SOPHIE. She said she would come back. She insisted on speaking with you.

LOUISE. Do you know the lady?

SOPHIE. Yes ... no. That is, I don't know. I believe I've seen her
before.

LOUISE. Didn't she say what her errand was?

SOPHIE. No, madam, but she said she would come back soon.

LOUISE. When she comes, show her into the drawing room.

SOPHIE. Yes, madam.

LOUISE. Have everything ready at once.

SOPHIE. Yes, madam. [_She goes out._]

LOUISE. You will excuse me. I must change my clothes. I shall put my old
ones on. You see, I kept them. Then I must write to him. I must tell him
why I am going away. [_She goes out by the side door._]

VENNEMA. I feel as if I have never been as happy as this before.

VAN ELST. It will help your wife to get well. She hasn't been very well
these last few weeks.

VENNEMA. Yes, I know it will do her heaps of good. I am quite happy.

VAN ELST. Don't excite your wife unnecessarily to-night. Any shock may
be too much for her.

VENNEMA. Yes, we will postpone our rejoicing until to-morrow. You must
come to-morrow, but alone. Bring your wife Sunday evening. The process
of acclamation will be slow, of course. There is a train about six, I
believe.

VAN ELST. Yes, at five forty-five. We have an hour yet.

VENNEMA. The sooner the better. She must have a change at first. I
thought it mightn't be a bad idea if we paid my brother a visit at
Frezier. It might do her a lot of good. Yes, I think what she needs is a
change of scene.

VAN ELST. If I were you I would stay home the first week.

VENNEMA. We'll attend to that later. It is terrible when you think of
the condition she was in when we arrived.

VAN ELST. The maid said that it happened quite often, too.

VENNEMA. What do you think he will do when he learns that she is gone?

VAN ELST. If he is anything of a man, if he is a man of honor, then he
will stay away. If not, there is the law. But I believe it can be
arranged although she loves him very much.

VENNEMA. Let's not speak of it any more. She will change slowly, and so
the past will be forgotten.

SOPHIE [_enters with a traveling bag_]. Oh, isn't Madam here?

VENNEMA. She will be back very shortly.

SOPHIE. Here's the bag. Everything is ready. [_Puts Louise's things on
the table._]

LOUISE [_enters very simply dressed with a letter in her hand_]. Here I
am. [_To Sophie._] Have you packed everything?

SOPHIE. Yes, everything is ready.

LOUISE. Help me then.

    [_Sophie helps Louise with her coat._]

LOUISE. Mail this letter for me. [_The bell rings downstairs._] Go and
see who it is. I am not at home to anybody now.

SOPHIE. It may be the lady who was here before.

LOUISE. Heavens, I had almost forgotten her. If it's the lady--

SOPHIE. Yes?

LOUISE. See who it is.

SOPHIE [_going_]. Yes, madam.

VENNEMA. What is it, Louise? What does the lady wish?

LOUISE. Nothing, father [_with a forced laugh_]. Nothing at all.

VENNEMA. Must you see her? Can't you say that you are about to go away
on a trip and that you cannot see her? Say that, and let us go.

LOUISE. Oh, it's nothing. I will just speak to her, and then we will go
at once. [_She laughs again in a forced manner._]

VENNEMA. But why are you so excited?

SOPHIE [_entering_]. Madam, the lady has gone away. She left this. [_She
extends a visiting card._] But--

LOUISE. What is it, Sophie?

SOPHIE. She told me to tell you that you must think of the bay mare.
Here is her card.

LOUISE [_excitedly_]. Oh, a card [_tries to restrain herself_]. Give it
to me.

SOPHIE. Then she said nothing about Elsa and the race.

    [_Louise takes the card and goes a little to the side._]

VENNEMA. What's the matter, Louise? What ails you?

LOUISE [_deeply affected_]. Father, father! [_She looks from the card to
her father with tears in her eyes; then she goes mutely toward the
couch, sits down, and stares blankly in front of her._]

LOUISE [_sobbing_]. I can't do it!

VENNEMA [_takes the visiting card from her hands_]. Must you pay all
that? Have you lost all that money?

LOUISE. Yes.

VENNEMA. Through gambling?

LOUISE. Yes.

VENNEMA. Good God! Gambling, too? And to-night you must pay all that
money.

SOPHIE [_entering excitedly with a small bunch of flowers_]. Madam,
Madam.

LOUISE [_looks up slowly and sees the flowers_]. What is it?

SOPHIE. These are the compliments of Mr. De Brandeis.

LOUISE. Mr. De Brandeis?

SOPHIE. The gentleman is waiting below in a carriage.

VENNEMA. Tell that gentleman to go away.

LOUISE. It was too beautiful, too good to be true. Now it will never be.

VENNEMA. Why not? I shall give you the money.

LOUISE. Father, I tell you it can never be.

VENNEMA. What do you mean? What are you going to do, Louise?

LOUISE. Father, I can't go back home with you. [_To Sophie._] Take the
flowers and tell Mr. De Brandeis that--that--

    [_Vennema sinks into a chair. Sophie stands at the door with the
    flowers. Van der Elst stands listening anxiously._]

LOUISE [_with a sob in her throat_]. Tell him, that I am going to stand
by him.

    [_She stands looking at the door, twitching her handkerchief
    nervously._]


  [_Curtain._]




THE GRANDMOTHER

  A PLAY
  BY LAJOS BIRO


  Authorized Translation by Charles Recht.
  Copyright, 1920, by Charles Recht.
  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    THE GRANDMOTHER.
    HER GRANDCHILDREN:
      THE BLOND YOUNG LADY.
      THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY.
      THE BRIDE.
      THE VIVACIOUS GIRL.
      THE MELANCHOLY GIRL.
      THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL.
      THE JOVIAL YOUNG MAN.
      THE POLITE YOUNG MAN.
      THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN.


  All rights reserved by Charles Recht and John Biro, 47 West 42nd
  Street, New York. Applications for permission to produce THE
  GRANDMOTHER must be made to Mr. Charles Recht.



THE GRANDMOTHER

A PLAY BY LAJOS BIRO


    [_There is only this notable thing to be said about
    Grandmother--her hair is snow white, her cheeks rosy and her eyes
    violet blue. She is the most youthful and enthusiastic, best and
    most cordial grandmother ever beloved by her grandchildren._

    _The scene opens on a broad, sunny terrace furnished with garden
    furniture, chairs, small tables and chaises longues. Back of the
    terrace is the beautiful summer residence of Grandpa. Behind it is
    a large English garden in its lenten blossoms. The Disagreeable
    Young Man enters; yawns; stretches discontentedly; slouches here
    and there; picks up a volume from the table, then falls into a
    couch at right and, lighting a cigarette, begins to read. The
    other grandchildren enter in groups of two and three and seat
    themselves._]


THE JOVIAL YOUNG MAN. My word, children, I am too full for utterance.
What a spread! Now for a good cigar and a soft chair and I am as rich as
a king.

THE BLOND YOUNG LADY. We are having such charming weather. Is not this
park like a paradise?

THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY. How did you like the after-dinner speeches?

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. Uncle Heinrich was splendid. [_There is great
laughter._]

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Uncle Heinrich was never strong in speechmaking,
but in the beginning even Demosthenes stuttered.

THE JOVIAL YOUNG MAN. The trouble is that Uncle Heinrich stopped where
Demosthenes began. Besides a manufacturer has no time to parade on the
sea shore with pebbles under his tongue.

    [_There is more laughter._]

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Children, who wants a cigarette?

THE BLOND AND BRUNETTE YOUNG LADIES. I!

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN [_handing them cigarettes and lighting a match for
them. He speaks to the Bride_]. Aren't you going to smoke?

BRIDE. No, I thank you.

THE JOVIAL YOUNG MAN. Lord, no! She must not! The noble bride must not
permit tobacco smoke to contaminate her rosy lips. [_They all laugh._]

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. May I have a cigarette, too?

THE JOVIAL YOUNG MAN. You be careful or the same misfortune may happen
to you at any minute that happened to Lucy [_pointing to the Bride, he
hands the Vivacious Girl a cigarette._]

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. If my bridegroom shall object to tobacco smoke, he
can pack his things and--off.

THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY. Well, young people, what are we going to do
next?

THE MELANCHOLY YOUNG LADY. Let's remain here. The park looks so
beautiful.

THE BLOND YOUNG LADY. Oh, I object. We'll remain here until the sun goes
down a little and then we'll play tennis. [_They agree._]

THE MELANCHOLY YOUNG LADY. Can't we remain here? Let us enjoy the spring
in the garden.

THE JOVIAL YOUNG MAN. Let's play tennis. A little exercise is the best
cure for romance. And you can enjoy your spring out there as well--you
dreamer. [_They laugh._]

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. You are as loud as the besiegers of Jericho
in your planning.

THE JOVIAL YOUNG MAN. Behold! He speaketh. [_They laugh._]

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. You are so overbearing in your
jollifications that it is positively disgusting. For the past hour you
have been giggling away without the slightest reason. You have so much
leisure you do not know what to do with yourselves.

THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY. Curt, must you always be the killjoy in a
party!

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. If you would at least take yourselves off
from here.

THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY. But admit that to-day there is reason enough
for every kind of jollity.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Is there, indeed? You have finished a costly
banquet and now are enjoying a good digestion. You are young and have a
healthy animal appetite; but why deck sentimentalism on your horns?

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Your pardon! Do you suppose that all a person gets
out of this remarkable occasion is a good dinner? Have you no
appreciation? Do you realize what this day means to all of us?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Very well, my boy. Now tell me why you are
so over-filled with joy?

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Yes, I will. I am glad that I can celebrate the
golden wedding of my grandfather. I am glad that just thirty years ago
to-day grandfather founded his factory. I am glad because of our large
and happy family and that so many lovely and good and happy people have
come here to celebrate this remarkable event; all of them good and
prosperous.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Prosperous!

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Yes, I rejoice at their prosperity.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. The laborers down there in the foundry,
however, are not as over-joyed at this prosperity as you are. For this
prosperity of yours they have been starving these past thirty years.

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Grandfather was always good to his employees.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Indeed! Our grandfather has managed by hook
or by crook to amass an enormous fortune and you are glad that his
fortune is now made and you do not have to resort to questionable means.

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN [_hurt_]. Questionable means? You do not intend to
assert that our grandpapa....

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. I assert nothing. But mark you this. There
is only one honest way to gain a large fortune: inheriting it. You
cannot earn it without resorting to questionable means.

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Shame! to say a thing like that!

THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY. Shame to say that of grandfather.

    [_All of them are upset and disturbed. Grandmother appears on the
    balcony._]

GRANDMOTHER. Why, children, what is it? What's wrong?

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL. Why, grandma, just think of it! Curt
said that grandpa made his fortune by questionable means.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. I did not say exactly that--

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Yes, you did.

THE OTHERS [_chiming in_]. You said that. Yes, you said that.

GRANDMOTHER [_as energetically as possible for her_]. I think you are in
error, Curt. In the entire fortune of your grandpa there is not a single
copper that was not earned by him in the most honest way.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. But look, grandma,--what I said
was--generally in those cases no one--

GRANDMOTHER [_hurt_]. When I tell you this, boy, it _is so_. When I tell
you anything, my child, you should never doubt it.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Yes, grandma, you are quite right. But I
maintain that human learning and experience have proved--

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Why don't you stop? Do you perhaps want to insult
grandma? You are taking too great an advantage of our good nature--I'll
tell you that!

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. If you folks had any sense--

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Don't you know enough....

THE OTHER GRANDCHILDREN. ... to shut up. [_Attacks him._] Indeed. He's
right. Stop--shut up!

    [_The Disagreeable Young Man, in spite of this scene, wants to
    continue, but the protests of the others drown his voice. He casts
    a contemptuous look at them, shrugs his shoulders, throws himself
    on the sofa and begins to read._]

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Now don't trouble yourself about him any longer,
grandma dear. Here, rest yourself nicely in this chair among us.

THE JOVIAL YOUNG MAN. There, grandma! The old folks are there at table.
We young people are here in the fresh air. We lacked only the youngest
one of us all. And here you are.

    [_There is a glad assent as the Grandmother sits down._]

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. Are you quite comfortable, grandma dear? Would you
like something to rest your feet on?

GRANDMOTHER. Thanks, my child, I am quite all right, and I am very
happy.

THE BLOND YOUNG LADY. Yes, grandma, you ought to feel happy.

THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY. How young you look, and how lovely and rosy!

THE BRIDE. Grandma?

GRANDMOTHER. What is it, my angel?

THE BRIDE. Tell me, how does a woman manage so that she is admired by
her husband for full fifty years, as you are by grandfather?

THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY. Yes, how did you manage that?

GRANDMOTHER. You will all be loved and admired after fifty years as I
have been. A person must be good. We must love each other.

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. But, grandmother, is it not wonderful at seventy
and seventy-five to love so beautifully and purely as you and
grandfather have loved?

GRANDMOTHER. You must always be good and patient with each other, and
brave. Never lose courage.

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. But look, grandma, not even I could be as brave as
you have been. And no one can ever say that I lose courage. [_They all
laugh._] I still shudder when I think how in those days in March of
Forty-eight you had to run away! Or in the Sixties when the city was
bombarded, you with my mamma and Aunt Olga escaped from the burning
house....

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL. How interesting that was! Tell us
another story, grandma. [_There is loud assent._] Yes, yes, grandma
shall tell us another story!

GRANDMOTHER. But I have already told you so much. You heard all our
history.

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL. Not I, grandma; I have not heard the
story of when you got lost in the _Friedrichsrode_ forest.

GRANDMOTHER. That story I have told you so often, children. Ask your
mother about it; she'll tell you.

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. But, grandma, I haven't heard it, either. Just
tell us that one and we'll go to play tennis.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. If you'll pardon me, grandma, I believe you
ought to tell us a different incident to-day. I've heard that history so
often. Tell us something contemporaneous. Tell us about the first sewing
machine, or the first railroad, or about crinolines or contemporary
theater or art.

THE BLOND YOUNG LADY. No. Tell us about the woods.

THE OTHERS. Yes, yes, that's right,--the story of how you got lost.

    [_The Disagreeable Young Man shrugs his shoulder and buries his
    head in his book. Grandmother begins to narrate, and the circle of
    her admiring and attentive audience grows narrower._]

GRANDMOTHER. Well, my children, it happened in the year eighteen hundred
and forty, a year after grandfather was almost shot by error. In those
days the happenings took us quite far away from here to
_Friedrichsrode_, my dears, where you have never been. Your grandfather
had a small estate there, and that's how we made our livelihood. We
always wished and prayed to get the management of the large estate of
the Count of Schwanhausen. But we lived there humbly in the little
house.

THE BLOND YOUNG LADY. Was my mamma home then?

GRANDMOTHER. No, she was not in this world yet. But a year later she was
born. So your grandfather and I lived then in this little red-roofed
house. Your grandfather used to be busy with the land the entire day.
Those days I was taking on weight, and to reduce I would take long
walks through the country. One day in October--in the afternoon--it was
beautiful sunny autumn weather--as usual I went again on my long walk.
The country there is very beautiful--all hills--covered with dense
forests. This afternoon my way led into the famous forest of
_Friedrichsrode_. When there I kept on walking--here and there I would
stop to pick a flower.

THE BLOND YOUNG LADY. Don't forget, grandma, that it was quite late when
you left your house.

GRANDMOTHER. You are correct, my dear. After our dinner I had some
things to attend to in the house and that is why I started that day
later than usual. I was walking through the forest, going in deeper and
deeper and suddenly I began to realize that it was getting dark. It was
in the autumn and the days were getting short. When I saw how dark it
was I turned homeward. But in the meanwhile evening came sooner than I
counted, and suddenly it got dark altogether. Now, thought I, I must
hustle. I hurried, as well as I could, but as much as I hurried I did
not get home. Had I gone home the right way I would have reached it
then, and so it dawned on me that I had lost my way.

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL. Great Heavens....

GRANDMOTHER. Indeed, my child, I was really lost in the woods and in the
_Friedrichsrode_ forest, besides. What that meant you cannot now
realize. Since that time these woods have been considerably cleared.
Then also we live in a different world to-day. But in those days
_Friedrichsrode_ forest was a very, very dismal place. It spread away
into the outskirts of the Harz Mountains and was a wild, primæval,
godforsaken forest where highway robbers were hiding. And in the winter
it was full of the wolves from the mountains.

    [_There is a short pause._]

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. And what did you do, grandmother?

GRANDMOTHER. Really, my child, a great anxiety came upon me. I stood
still and tried to fix my direction. Then I turned to a path which I
figured ought to lead me home. After I walked a half hour, however, I
found that the forest instead of getting lighter was getting thicker and
thicker. Three or four times I changed the direction, but no matter what
I did I was walking deeper and deeper into the dark woods. Although the
moon was shining then, the branches of the trees were so thick that I
could see but little. And that which I saw only frightened me all the
more. Every tree stump, every overhanging bough excited my fear. My feet
were continuously caught in the roots of big trees and the undergrowth
tore my bleeding face and feet; and it was getting cold. I felt frozen.
And dismally quiet, terribly dark was the night in the forest.

    [_There is a pause and suspense._]

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL. Good heavens, how perfectly terrible!

GRANDMOTHER. Then I collected all my wits. I said to myself, if I keep
on walking I will lose my way all the more. I ought to remain where I am
and wait. When grandfather arrives at home and misses me he will start a
search with all the help and people. They will go into the woods with
torchlights--and then I will see the lights from the distance and hear
them call--and in that way I can get home.

THE MELANCHOLY GIRL. How clever of our grandma!

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. And how brave!

GRANDMOTHER. After I figured it out that way I looked about for a
sheltered nook. In between two great big tree trunks there was a cave,
like a little house, a place all filled with soft moss. A pleasant
camping place. I fell into this and prepared myself for a long wait. I
waited and waited. The night peopled the woods with every kind of sound.
There was whistling, whispering, humming, blowing, screeching and once
from a distance a long-drawn deep howling. This, undoubtedly, was the
wolves.

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL [_frightened_]. Merciful God!

GRANDMOTHER. Then even I lost my courage. I wanted to run, run as long
as my legs would carry me. But I realized that the wiser thing was to be
brave and to remain. So I set my teeth and kept on waiting. And then
gradually the howling ceased. So, I sat there on this moss bank gazing
before me and thought of many things. Suddenly I heard a noise. I
straightened up and listened. It was a breaking sound and a rustle as
though some one were brushing aside the underbrush.... The noise was
getting nearer and nearer.

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL. Oh!

GRANDMOTHER. I was all ears. I could clearly distinguish now that the
sound was the footstep of a human being. Frightened, I started through
the darkness and in the dull moonlight I saw that actually a man was
wading through the thick underbrush. What was I to do? I pressed against
the tree trunk and my fast and loud-beating heart seemed to be in my
throat. The man was coming directly toward me. When he was about three
paces away from me and I could distinguish his features, I felt like
fainting. It was "Red Mike," a very dangerous fellow from our
neighborhood; every one knew that he was a robber. Later on he was
imprisoned for murder, but he escaped from the prison. Now he was
there.... What should I do?

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL [_breathlessly_]. What did you do, grandma?

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL. Great heavens!

GRANDMOTHER. Frenzied, I pressed against the tree trunk. I wanted to
hide, but the robber came directly toward me. It was as though he could
see me even in this darkness and behind the tree trunk. Later on when he
was caught, I found out, that he had prepared this very place for his
night's resting place. He had brought all this soft moss there. Of
course, I did not know that he just came there to rest himself. All I
saw was that he was making directly for me. Then such a great fear
seized me that instead of pressing against the tree and letting him go
past me I shrieked just as he came within reaching distance and began to
run away.

    [_There is a pause and feverish suspense._]

THE MELANCHOLY YOUNG LADY. And what did the robber do?

GRANDMOTHER. My sudden outcry and quick dash and flight scared him for
the moment, but as soon as I appeared in the moonlight, he saw that it
was only a woman who had frightened him. He hesitated about a half a
minute and then started to pursue me. I flew. I was young then and I
could run fast. But it was dark and I did not know my way. As I pressed
forward I ran into a low branch and tore my cheek so that it bled. My
skirt was torn into shreds. Suddenly I stumbled and fell to the ground.
I hurt myself quite painfully, but in spite of that I rose quickly again
and commenced to run. And the robber after me all the time. I could
always hear his footsteps in my wake. My legs were about to give up
under me when I got an idea to hide behind a stout tree trunk. But the
robber began to look through the underbrush in the spot where he last
saw me and he finally found me. He came near me.

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. How terrible!

GRANDMOTHER. With one single leap I jumped aside and started to run
again. Once more I fell down and again I rose. Aimlessly I ran wildly
over roots and stones and the robber kept right on after me.... And the
distance between me and my pursuer was getting smaller and smaller. Then
all of a sudden I heard the sound of his footsteps close to me--to
escape him I tried to dash away to the side of him but with a sudden
leap he was by my side. Grabbing me by my shoulder he threw me on the
ground and I fell upon my back. He had run so fast that he dashed a
couple of paces past me. He turned about.... And then I saw that he had
a long knife in his hand.

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL [_horrified_]. Merciful heaven!

GRANDMOTHER. I could not budge.... And unspeakable fear seized me....
Then I uttered a piercing shriek.... The robber approached me.... I
cried out....

    [_There is a pause._]

THE MELANCHOLY GIRL. Then, then--

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. Well, what then? What?

GRANDMOTHER. I cried out like an insane person.... Now the robber was
near me.... He bent over me.... Suddenly a voice sounded,--"_who is
crying here?_" the voice seemed to be near--the footsteps were
audible--"who's crying here?" it asked the second time.... The branches
parted and a man in a hunting habit with a gun in his hand appeared. The
robber took to his heels and flew into the woods. The hunter now came
near me and called to a second man who followed. They helped me to rise
and they carried me over to a small clearing. There I saw a light buggy
into which they lifted me. Soon they fetched the horses and in a half
hour I was in the Schwanhausen castle sipping hot brandy which they had
prepared for me. The man in the hunting habit was the Count of
Schwanhausen, who had been hunting in the woods.

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL. How interesting!

GRANDMOTHER. In the castle I quite recovered. Then the Count ordered
another carriage to drive me home and at six in the morning I landed
safely in our house. Your grandpa was sick with worry.... He and his
people had searched for me in the woods for hours. And that's how I was
almost lost. A few days later grandpa went to thank the Count for my
rescue. The Count took a liking to him.

THE BLOND YOUNG LADY. That was the old Count?

GRANDMOTHER. Yes, it was the old Count. The benefactor of all of us.
Grandfather thanked him courteously for my rescue. The Count took a
liking to him and soon after that grandfather got the management of the
entire Schwanhausen estate, which proved the cornerstone of his good
fortune. And that, my dears, is the story of my night wander in the
forest of _Friedrichsrode_.

    [_Amid general approval, Grandma is surrounded. Everybody is
    indebted to her. They all speak at once, except the The
    Disagreeable Young Man._]

"We thank you cordially."

"It was wonderful, grandma, dear."

"Interesting."

"Beautiful."

THE VIVACIOUS GIRL. Grandma is a story-telling genius!

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. A most wonderful one!

GRANDMOTHER. Very well, my dears, but now run along to your tennis game.
I'll come over later to watch on. [_They all agree._]

THE POLITE YOUNG MAN. Three cheers for our very dear beloved charming
grandma.

    [_They all cheer three times, then they surround her, kiss her
    cheeks and head and stroke her hair._]

THE BLOND YOUNG LADY. _Adieu_--old sweetheart.

THE BRUNETTE YOUNG LADY. _Auf wiedersehen_--precious grandma!

THE SENTIMENTAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRL [_inspired_]. Grandma...! [_She rushes
over to her and covers her with kisses._]

    [_Grandma bears all these amiabilities with pleasurable tolerance.
    She strokes and pats the grandchildren and as they retire, she
    fondly gazes after them, nodding to them with laughter._]

GRANDMOTHER. Curt--are not you going with the others?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. No.

GRANDMOTHER. Why not, Curt? Why don't you follow the others?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. They think that I am bad, and I know that
they are stupid.

    [_Grandmother seats herself in silence. The Disagreeable Young Man
    continues to read. He lights a new cigarette. While lighting the
    cigarette--_]

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Grandma!

GRANDMOTHER. What is it, my child?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Whatever you say might, of course, never be
questioned....

GRANDMOTHER. No, my child.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. But do tell me, grandma, did that story
really happen in that way?

GRANDMOTHER. What story?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. The night wander through the
_Friedrichsrode_ forest.

GRANDMOTHER. Certainly it happened.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Exactly as you told it? Are you quite sure
that you remember all those details.

GRANDMOTHER. Yes. Why?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Oh, just so. I merely wanted to inquire,
grandma.

GRANDMOTHER. But why did you want to?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. I was just interested. Thank you very much.
Do not let me disturb you further, grandma.

    [_He takes up his book and continues to read. The Grandmother
    remains seated, but is greatly embarrassed. She would like to keep
    on gazing into the park and enjoying her quiet, but she is unable
    to concentrate her thoughts. She is getting more and more
    disturbed. There is a pause._]

GRANDMOTHER. Curt!

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Yes--grandma, dear.

GRANDMOTHER. Curt, why have you asked me if the forest incident happened
that way?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. I merely wanted to find out, grandma.

GRANDMOTHER. You just wanted to find out. But one does not ask such
things without some good reason.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. I was interested.

GRANDMOTHER. Interested, but why are you interested?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Just in general. But do not get disturbed on
account of that, grandma.

    [_The Grandmother is silent._]

    [_The Disagreeable Young Man picks up his book. The Grandmother
    wants to drop the subject at this point. She does not succeed, but
    continues to look over toward the young man. He reads on._]

GRANDMOTHER. Curt!

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Yes, grandma, dear.

GRANDMOTHER. Curt, you shall tell me this instant the reason you asked
if the incident really happened that way!

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. But, grandma ... I have already told you
that....

GRANDMOTHER. Don't you tell me again that you asked because the matter
interested you. You would have never asked such a question if you did
not have some special reason for it.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. But, grandma--

GRANDMOTHER. Curt, if you do not this moment tell me why you said that,
then I will never--[_her voice becomes unusually strong and shakes_] I
never in my life will speak to you again.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. But, grandma, I do not want to insult you.

GRANDMOTHER. You will not insult me if you will be sincere and open. Be
sincere always.... And you will not insult me. But when your trying to
hide something from me, that's when you insult me. This _cannot_ remain
in this way. I must know what you are thinking of. I must know that.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Grandma, I was afraid you would be angry
with me.

GRANDMOTHER. If you keep on concealing things I shall be angry. No
matter what you have to say I will not hold it against you.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Are you not angry now?

GRANDMOTHER. No. I promise you I will not be angry. Say whatever you
please.

    [_The Disagreeable Young Man hesitates._]

GRANDMOTHER. Well, then--out with it--speak up, my child--be it what it
may as long as it is frank and sincere. Speak up, now. Come!

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Very well then, grandma. It is impossible
that the story could happen in that manner.

GRANDMOTHER [_offended_]. You mean that I told an untruth?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Oh, no. I did not say that the incident did
not happen. I just maintain that it could not have happened in that
fashion.

GRANDMOTHER. But why not?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. On account of the details. Let us take it
for granted, grandma, that as you state you commenced your exercise walk
in the afternoon....

GRANDMOTHER. Yes.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Let's say that you had household duties and
started out quite late--about four o'clock.

GRANDMOTHER [_disturbed, but following the cross-examination intently_].
Yes.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Very well, you started at four o'clock. The
walk was a good one and consumed--let us say one hour and a half.

GRANDMOTHER. Yes.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Yes? This brings us to half-past five
o'clock. In October and in a dense forest besides at half-past five it
gets fairly dark at that hour. It was then that you lost your way?

THE GRANDMOTHER [_nods her head in assent_].

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Another hour and a half spent in
wandering--that brings us to seven o'clock. You now reached the night
lodging of the robber--here you were resting?

GRANDMOTHER. Exactly.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Quite right. Here you were waiting and
resting--now we want to allow a long time for it--three--let us
say--three and a half hours.

GRANDMOTHER [_involuntarily_]. Not that long....

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Oh, yes ... let us ... we'll then have
reached half-past ten o'clock. It could not have been later when this
forest bandit came. These pirates never go to their bed earlier. They
shun light and must get their sleep while the world is the darkest. He
could not sleep during the day even in the darkest forests. In short,
then, it was half-past ten?

GRANDMOTHER. Half-past ten.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. Now began the flight and the pursuit. You
ran--let us say--full twenty minutes. That is a great deal. I was a
track runner in college and I know what a twenty-minute stretch means.
Shall we say twenty minutes?

GRANDMOTHER. Twenty minutes....

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. In any circumstances it was not even eleven
when you were safely out of danger?

GRANDMOTHER. Yes.

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. And--and a half hour later you were sipping
hot brandy in the Schwanhausen castle?

GRANDMOTHER. Yes.

    [_The Disagreeable Young Man is silent._]

GRANDMOTHER [_shaking with excitement_]. And--what else?

    [_The Disagreeable Young Man is silent._]

GRANDMOTHER [_she shakes with fear as to what will follow, but forces
herself to face it_]. Well, say on ... what else?...

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. At six on the following morning you reached
your home and.... [_He pauses._]

GRANDMOTHER [_if her loud-speaking could be called an outcry, then she
cries out_]. Yes ... what else?... What happened then?... Go on ... say
it ... what else?

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN. [_He makes a new attempt to tell everything
bravely at once, but hesitates._] In the morning at six you arrived at
home. The others had no idea as to the distance between _Schwanhausen_
and _Friederichsrode_. But I wanted to see it myself, so last year with
a friend I made a walking trip through that country. I tried this
distance. In a half hour of slow walking I reached from one place to the
other, and the horses in the Count's stables and the state roads were
then in as good condition as to-day. Well, then you started from the
castle at half-past five in the morning; but you reached there at
half-past eleven the preceding night.... You spent six entire hours in
the castle.... Then, another point--they all speak of the count, the
"benefactor of us all," as the "old count."... When he died five years
ago he was, of course, an old count--an old man of seventy.... But
thirty-five years ago he was a young count of thirty years of age.

    [_The Grandmother stares blindly at The Disagreeable Young Man.
    Alarmed over Grandma's fright, he rises. He would very much like
    to make up to her, but he lacks words. The Grandmother rises. She
    is trembling. With a shaking hand she is nervously setting her
    dress to rights. Twice she turns to the young man to speak to him,
    but is unable to utter a word. Then she turns; she is about to
    return into the house, but remains near the doorstep. Again she
    turns; then she is about to go in, but turns again and remains
    standing._]

THE DISAGREEABLE YOUNG MAN [_frightened_]. Grandma, you gave me your
word that you would not be angry.

GRANDMOTHER [_she stumbles forward a few steps. She is disturbed,
shivering, beside herself, complaining, almost sobbing_]. You are an
evil child! You are a bad, bad and evil child! For fifty years I have
told the same story ... always the same, same way ... and that it
happened differently never, never even came into my mind.


  [_Curtain._]




THE RIGHTS OF THE SOUL

  A PLAY

  BY GIUSEPPE GIACOSA
  TRANSLATED BY THEODORA MARCONE.


  Copyright, 1920, by Stewart & Kidd Company.
  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    PAOLO.
    MARIO.
    ANNA.
    MADDALENA.

  PLACE: _A villa at Brianza_.
  TIME: _The Present_.


  Applications for the right of performing THE RIGHTS OF THE SOUL must
  be made to Frank Shay, who may be addressed in care of Stewart & Kidd
  Company.



THE RIGHTS OF THE SOUL

ONE ACT BY GIUSEPPE GIACOSA


    [SCENE: _A living-room well furnished in an old fashioned style
    but not shabbily. An open fire-place which is practical. A sofa. A
    writing desk. A closet at the back. Door leading into Anna's room
    at the left. Window at the right._

    _Paolo discovered seated at the writing desk upon which there is a
    confusion of papers._]


    [_Servant--Maddalena enters._]

PAOLO. Well, has he returned yet?

MADDALENA. Not yet.

PAOLO. He has taken a lot of time!

MADDALENA. I have been to look for him at the post-office café.

PAOLO. I told you to look in his room or in the garden. Was it necessary
to run all over the country?

MADDALENA. Well, he wasn't there. I thought--he wasn't at the café
either, but they told me where he was. He'll be back shortly. He went to
the station at Poggio to meet the engineer of the water-works. The tax
collector saw him walking in that direction. He always walks. But he
will return by the stage for the engineer's sake. The stage should be
here at any moment. It is sure though--but are you listening?

PAOLO. No, you may go.

MADDALENA. Yes, sir. But it is sure that if the engineer of the
water-works really has arrived, your brother will not go away to-morrow.
You and the Madame intend leaving to-morrow, don't you?

PAOLO. Yes, no. I don't know--yes, we will go to-morrow. Leave me alone.

MADDALENA. All right, but see if I'm wrong; I say that your brother will
not go to-morrow, nor the day after to-morrow. Here he is.

MARIO. Were you looking for me?

PAOLO. Yes, for the last hour.

MADDALENA. Mr. Paolo--here asked me--

PAOLO. I did not ask you anything. Go away. [_He takes her by the arm
and pushes her out._]

MARIO. What has happened?

PAOLO. She is insufferable. She isn't listening at the door, is she?

MARIO. No, be calm. I hear her in the garden. What has happened. You
look worried.

PAOLO. [_After a pause._] Do you know why Luciano killed himself?

MARIO. No.

PAOLO. He killed himself for love. For the love of Anna. I have the
proofs--they are there. I just found it out to-day, a moment ago. He has
killed himself for the love of my wife. You and I were his relatives; he
was a companion of my youth, my dearest friend. He tried to force her to
love him. Anna repulsed him. He insisted; Anna responded firmly. Highly
strung as he was, he killed himself.

MARIO. How did you find out?

PAOLO. I have the proofs, I tell you. I have been reading them for an
hour. I am still stunned! They have been there for a month. You know
that as soon as I received the telegram in Milan which announced his
suicide in London, I ran to Luciano's room and gathered all his papers,
made a packet of them, sealed it and brought them here.

MARIO. I told you to burn them.

PAOLO. I wanted to in fact, but afterward I thought it better to await
until the authorities of the hospital, to whom he left the estate, had
verified the accounts. The Syndic came here an hour ago, at the order of
the sub-Prefect, to give me the wallet which was found on the body and
which our Consul at London had sent to the Minister of Foreign Affairs.
I was just putting them away into the desk, when I felt the desire, I
don't know why, to look for the reason of his suicide which no one
seemed able to explain. [_Mario starts._] You know? You suspect the
reason?

MARIO. I suspected--

PAOLO. Suspected! You knew of this love?

MARIO. There, there--I will tell you, don't excite yourself!

PAOLO. No--answer me! You knew?

MARIO. I felt it--yes, that Luciano had lost his head.

PAOLO. And you never told me anything?

MARIO. What had I to tell you? Seen by others these things appear
greater and more offensive than they are. And then I might have been
wrong; I only see you and Anna during your short visits to the country.
If you, who are with her all the year, did not see anything--On the
other hand, Anna was always on her guard, she knew perfectly how to
defend herself.

PAOLO. Oh, Anna! Anna is a saint! I have always thought of her as one.
But now--

MARIO. GO on--tell me.

PAOLO. In the wallet I found a letter and noticed it was in Anna's
handwriting.

MARIO. It was perfectly natural that your wife should write to our
cousin.

PAOLO. Naturally. In fact I have read it. Here it is. [_Mario starts to
take the letter._] No, listen. [_Paolo reads._] "You write me--"
[_Speaking._] There is no heading. [_Reads._] "You write me that if I do
not respond you will return immediately. I love my husband, that is my
reply. This and only this forever. I beg you not to torment me. Anna."

MARIO. Of course.

PAOLO. The scoundrel.

MARIO. What date is that letter?

PAOLO. Luciano himself has noted the hour and date when he received it.
He has written here in pencil: "Received to-day, June 26th, 11 A.M." He
killed himself before noon.

MARIO. Poor devil! One can see it was a stroke of insanity; the writing
demonstrates that.

PAOLO. You understand of course, that I did not stop there. I opened the
wallet. I found four other letters from Anna all on the same subject and
in the same tone. The first is of three years ago. There are few words;
returning a letter Luciano had written. I looked for this letter of
Luciano--it is not here. He must have destroyed it. He kept only hers.
Then there is a little note from Rome; you know Anna visited her mother
in Rome for a month last winter. It is evident that our friend followed
her. Anna would not see him. Then there is a long one which must have
been written when he was recovering from that fall he had from his
horse. It is the only long one among the five--written in affectionate
terms, reasoning and begging; a wonderful letter, good, noble;
read--read.

MARIO [_turning away_]. No, no, no.

PAOLO. Listen, just a moment.

MARIO. I don't like to.

PAOLO. She does nothing but speak of me, of our brotherly youth. She
also speaks of you. She says--

MARIO. No, I beg of you. It is useless. I know what kind of a woman my
sister-in-law is and I do not need proofs of her virtue. Why do you
bother with those poor letters? Is it so painful that you have found
them?

PAOLO. Painful? It is painful that I am not able to weep for a false
relative who wished to rob--

MARIO. Let him alone. He is dead and he has not robbed you of anything.
If he had lived he would not have robbed you of anything, the same. Anna
knew how--

PAOLO. And this? And this? You count as little? Is this painful? I never
had the shadow of a doubt about Anna, but--nor has the thought even
passed through my mind--but it is different not to have doubted and not
to have thought, than to possess the palpable proof of her faith and
love. "I love my husband." It is the refrain of all her letters.

MARIO. Was it necessary that she tell you this?

PAOLO. She did not tell it to me, she told it to him. She told it to
him--do you understand? Luciano had all the qualities which attract a
woman. He was younger, better looking than I, well spoken, full of fire
and courage.

MARIO. How it pleases you, eh? To praise him now!

PAOLO. Painful? If I had burned, as you wished, those papers and then
one day I should have discovered this love, who could then have lifted
this suspicion from my mind?

MARIO. The certainty makes you suspicious!

PAOLO. What do you mean?

MARIO. If you had feared this a year ago, that which has happened would
not have occurred. I was wrong not to have opened your eyes. A long way
off, perhaps Luciano would not have killed himself.

PAOLO. But I would have lacked the proof.

MARIO. Your tranquility costs much--to the others.

PAOLO. You can't pretend that I should feel badly about the fate of
Luciano?

MARIO. I am not speaking of him.

PAOLO. Of whom?

MARIO. Of your wife. Think what she must be suffering!

PAOLO. Do you think she blames herself?

MARIO. Of course.

PAOLO. I have noticed that she was distressed but not agitated.

MARIO. You do not see the continuous things, you only see the
unexpected. Besides, Anna is mistress of herself.

PAOLO. And she has done her duty.

MARIO. It is a long time that she has done her duty.

PAOLO. I shall know how to comfort her, there, I shall know how to cheer
her. You shall see, Mario. I feel that we have returned to the first
days of our marriage, that I possess her only from to-day.

MARIO. Leave it to time. You have read--you have known. It is enough. It
is useless that Anna knows you know.

PAOLO. She was here when the Syndic gave me the wallet. But she went out
immediately.

MARIO. She does not know, then, that you have read?

PAOLO. She will have imagined it.

MARIO. No. And in any case she would be grateful if you pretended to
ignore....

PAOLO. Let us be frank. Don't let's argue. Nothing is more dreadful than
to plan out a line of conduct in these matters. What she has done, Anna
has done for me. I must think how to repay her. She has done this for
me, for me, do you understand?

MARIO. And who says the contrary? See how you excite yourself.

PAOLO. Excite myself! Certainly, I will not go and say: "I have read
your letters and I thank you very much!" One understands that when I
speak of comforting her and of cheering her I intend to do it with the
utmost tenderness, with the utmost confidence. I have always been like
that. That was why she loved me. There is no need to change even to
please you.

MARIO. How you take it!

PAOLO. It is you who take it badly. You have not said a just word to me.
I thought better of you. One would say, to hear you, that this discovery
was a disgrace. What has happened new from this discovery? Luciano is
dead a month ago, the first grief is passed. If I did continue to ignore
everything he would not return to life! He did not arrive to do me the
harm he wanted to; so peace be to his soul. There remains the certainty
of my wife's love and for this, think as you wish, I rejoice for the
best fortune which could befall me.

MARIO. Come here. [_He places an arm around Paolo's shoulders._] Are you
persuaded that I love you?

PAOLO. Yes.

MARIO. Well then, if you are content, so am I. Is it all right?

PAOLO. Yes. Now go and pack your bag.

MARIO. Ah, that reminds me, I cannot go to-morrow.

PAOLO. No!

MARIO. The engineer Falchi has arrived. The day after to-morrow there is
the meeting of the water-company.

PAOLO. Send it to the devil.

MARIO. I cannot, I am the president.

PAOLO. It was arranged that we were to leave to-day. We put it off on
your account.

MARIO. How could it be helped? I had to sell the hay. It is now a
question of three days, four at the most.

PAOLO. Suppose Anna and I go meanwhile? The rent of the chalet started
fifteen days ago. You can join us as soon as you are free.

MARIO. If you think so--

PAOLO. I'll tell you. The day after to-morrow is Anna's birthday. Until
the business kept me in Milan all of July, we always passed that day
together--just Anna and I. We did not do this on purpose, but things
turned out so. Last year I was able to be free early in July and we came
here to stay until September. Well, three days before her birthday, Anna
begged me to take her for a trip to Switzerland. She did not tell me,
you understand, the reason for her desire, but insisted upon leaving
immediately. We went to Interlaken and from there we went up to Murren.
The day of Saint Anna we were at Murren. The place was so lovely, Anna
liked it so much, that then and there I arranged for a chalet for this
year. Fifteen days ago you--who never go anywhere, proposed to accompany
us--

MARIO. Did you find it indiscreet of me?

PAOLO. No. You saw that Anna was pleased. She is very fond of you.

MARIO. I know.

PAOLO. When you had to postpone your leaving it was the same as to
propose that we wait for you. But the first delay would still have
allowed us to arrive in time; this second one will not and I, for my
part, now especially desire to be there at the date arranged. It is
childish if you wish--

MARIO. No. All right. I will join you there.

PAOLO. We postponed leaving until to-morrow to await you; but now that
you cannot come immediately we could leave this evening. [_Jumping up._]
I must go--to get out of here. Those letters--

MARIO. Burn them. Give them to me.

PAOLO. Ah, no. Not yet.

MARIO. Go. Go to-night; it is better. But will Anna be ready?

ANNA. [_Who has entered._] To do what?

MARIO. I was telling Paolo that I could not leave to-morrow; nor for
three or four days. It is useless that you two remain here in the heat
to wait for me. Paolo must be back in Milan at the beginning of
September; every day shortens his vacation. I am old enough to travel
alone; as soon as I am free I will join you. What do you say?

ANNA. As you wish.

MARIO. I also desire to thoroughly clean the house and garden. Your
presence would disturb me, and mine is necessary.

PAOLO. And as Mario cannot accompany us, we may as well leave this
evening.

ANNA. So soon?

PAOLO. Your luggage is almost finished.

MARIO. You will gain a day. At this season of the year it is better to
travel by night than by day. It is full moon now and the Gottard road is
charming.

ANNA [_distractedly_]. Yes. Yes.

MARIO [_to Paolo_]. Then you had better go immediately to the stable in
the piazza and tell them to hold a carriage in readiness. At what time
does the train leave from Poggio?

PAOLO. At seven-thirty.

MARIO. Tell him to be here at six. I would send Battista to order it,
but the engineer has taken him with him. On the other hand, it is better
that you see the carriage, they have some antediluvian arks!

PAOLO. And why don't you go? He knows you and you know his arsenal--you
could choose better.

MARIO. You are right. Anna, I will send Maddalena to help you with your
luggage?

ANNA. Yes, thank you, Mario. Send Maddalena to help me.

MARIO [_going off_]. And dinner is at five.

PAOLO. Yes.

    [_Mario exits. Silence. Anna takes a few steps toward the desk.
    Paolo goes impetuously to Anna and takes her in his arms and
    kisses her. She breaks away violently._]

ANNA. Oh--horrors! [_The words escape from her lips involuntarily._]

PAOLO [_drawing back_]. Anna!

ANNA. There was one of my letters in that wallet, wasn't there?

PAOLO. Yes, there was.

ANNA. You have read it?

PAOLO. Yes.

ANNA. I have killed a man and you embrace me for that?

PAOLO. I did not want to. I was tempted not to tell you. Mario advised
me not to. Then when I saw you--you filled me with tenderness! But what
did you say, Anna?

ANNA. Pardon me. And promise me that you will never speak of all this
again, either here or hereafter, directly or indirectly--never.

PAOLO. I promise.

ANNA. You will not keep your promise.

PAOLO. Oh!

ANNA. You will not keep it. I know you. What a misfortune that you
should have known it! I saw it in your eyes when I came in, that you
knew. I had hoped that you would always have ignored it. I prayed so.
But as soon as I entered I saw immediately. [_With imperceptible accent
of mocking pity._] You had a modest and embarrassed air. I know you so
well. Do you want to hear how well? When Mario proposed you go for the
carriage, I thought--he will not go. When you sent him instead, I
smiled.

PAOLO. I noticed it, but I did not understand.

PAOLO. That's nothing. That you should read me is natural.

ANNA. In exchange, eh? And listen--when Mario was leaving, I also
thought--now the minute we are alone--he will come to me and embrace me.

PAOLO. You imagine very well....

ANNA. This was also natural, wasn't it?

PAOLO. I love you so much, Anna. [_A long pause._] It is strange that in
your presence I have a sense of restraint. I tell you something and
immediately I think should I tell her? Was it better I kept silent? It
is the first time I have had this feeling toward you. We both need
distraction.

ANNA. Yes, but to-day I do not leave.

PAOLO. No? But you said--

ANNA. I have thought better. There is not the time to get ready.

PAOLO. Your luggage is ready.

ANNA. Oh, there is a lot to do.

PAOLO. We have eight hours yet.

ANNA. I am tired.

PAOLO. Mario has just gone to order the carriage.

ANNA. It can be for another day.

PAOLO. Perhaps to-morrow--

ANNA. Not to-day, certainly.

PAOLO. I do not know how to tell Mario. It looks like a whim.

ANNA. Oh, Mario will understand.

PAOLO. More than I do.

ANNA. I did not wish to say--

PAOLO. Anna, you do not pardon me for having read those letters.

ANNA. You see, you have already begun to speak of them again! Well, no,
no, no, poor Paolo, it is not that. I have nothing to pardon. Believe
me. I feel no wrath or bitterness. I would have given, I don't know
what, if you had ignored them; for you, for your own good, for your
peace, not for me. But I felt that some time or other--[_Pause._] It has
been a useless tragedy--you will see.

PAOLO. What do you mean?

ANNA. I don't know, don't mind me--excuse me--[_Moves up._]

PAOLO. Are you going?

ANNA. Yes.

PAOLO. So you won't tell me if we go to-morrow?

ANNA. We have time to decide.

PAOLO. Oh, rather. [_Anna exits. Silence._] A useless tragedy! [_Sits
with his elbows upon his knees and his head in his hands._]

MARIO [_coming in_]. There, that is done. And Anna?

PAOLO. She's there. [_Points off._]

MARIO. Maddalena will be here immediately, she was still at the
wash-house. Well? Come, come, shake yourself, throw off that fixed idea.
One knows that at the first opportunity--You do well to leave
immediately, the trip will distract you.

PAOLO. We do not go.

MARIO. What?

PAOLO. Anna does not want to.

MARIO. Why?

PAOLO [_shrugs his shoulders_].

MARIO. She said so?

PAOLO. She understood, she asked me.... I could not deny it.

MARIO. She asked of her own accord, without you saying anything?

PAOLO. Do me the favor of not judging me now. If you knew what I am
thinking!

MARIO. Do you wish that I speak to her? I am convinced that to remain
here is the worse thing to do.

PAOLO. Try it. Who knows? You understand her so well! She said so
herself.

MARIO. And you promise me not to worry meanwhile?

PAOLO. What is the use of promising? I wouldn't keep it. She said that
also. She knows me. Don't you know me?

MARIO. Is she in her room?

PAOLO. I think so.

MARIO. Leave it to me.

PAOLO. Look out. If--no, no, go--go--we shall see afterwards. [_Mario
exits. Paolo takes a letter from the wallet, reads it attentively,
accentuating the words._] "You write me that if I do not respond you
will return immediately." [_Speaks._] You write me! Where is that
letter? [_Reads._] "I love my husband, that is my response. This and
only this forever. I beg you not to torment me." [_Speaks._] I beg you
not to torment me. Ummm!

MADDALENA. Here I am.

PAOLO. I do not want you. It is not necessary now. If I need you I will
call you.

MADDALENA. Excuse me, Mr. Paolo, is it true what they say in the
village?

PAOLO. What?

MADDALENA. That the Syndic brought the wallet of Mr. Luciano this
morning with a lot of money in it for the poor!

PAOLO. Why--no.

MADDALENA. The servant of the Syndic said so just now at the wash-house.

PAOLO. There was nothing in it, the Syndic also knows that.

MADDALENA. Oh, it would not have been a surprise. Mr. Luciano came here
rarely, but when he did he spent.

PAOLO. I am glad to hear it.

MADDALENA. Last year, to Liberata, the widow of the miner who went to
America to join his son and to whom you gave fifty lire, well, Mr.
Luciano gave her a hundred.

PAOLO. What a story! He wasn't even here at that time.

MADDALENA. Wasn't even here? I saw him--

PAOLO. Nonsense. That woman received word that her husband was killed in
the mine and that the son wanted her to come to America, the day I left
for Switzerland, a year ago yesterday or to-day; I remember it because I
gave her a little money in gold which I had been able to procure. She
was to leave two days later....

MADDALENA. There you are.

PAOLO. There you are nothing. Luciano was not there. I know.

MADDALENA. He arrived the day Liberata started on the trip.

PAOLO. Oh, two days after we left.

MADDALENA. Yes it was. He arrived in the morning.

PAOLO. At his villa.

MADDALENA. No, no, here; but he found only Mr. Mario; he was annoyed,
poor man, and left immediately.

PAOLO. Ah, I did not know that.... Then you are right. Ah, so he came?
You are right. Oh, he was generous! He left all to the hospital.

MADDALENA. Yes, yes. But what hospital?

MARIO [_off stage calls_]. Maddalena!

MADDALENA. Here I am.

MARIO [_entering_]. Go to Madame, she needs you. [_Maddalena exits._]
[_To Paolo._] I have persuaded her.

PAOLO. How fortunate to have a good lawyer.

MARIO. And as you see, it did not take long.

PAOLO. Want to bet I know how you convinced her?

MARIO. Oh, it was very easy--I said....

PAOLO. No, let me tell you. I want my little triumph. You gave up the
business which held you here and decided to leave with us.

MARIO. Even that.

PAOLO. Eh? Didn't I know it? When you went away I was just about to tell
you and then I wanted to wait and see. So now Anna is disposed to go?

MARIO. Are you sorry?

PAOLO. I should say not! All the more as we are--are we not going to
amuse ourselves? The place, the trip, the hotels,--yes, it is better.
But the company! To run away there should be few of us.

MARIO. What are you saying?

PAOLO [_putting his two hands on Mario's shoulders and facing him._] To
run away--do you understand? We must be a few. To run away as Anna and I
did last year.

MARIO. I do not understand.

PAOLO. You did not tell me that Luciano had been here last year, nor
the day that he was here.

MARIO. I don't know. I do not remember....

PAOLO. There you are--there--there--I knew it! And you knew that Anna
went away from here to avoid him. And I went with her all unconscious.
You saw the husband take a train and run away before the other could
arrive!

MARIO. And if it is true. It does not tell you more or less than the
letters did.

PAOLO. No, a little more. Everything tells a little more. One grain of
sand piles up upon another, then another until it makes the mill-stone
which crushes you. It tells a little more. It is one thing to keep away
and another to run away. One can keep away a trouble without begging it
to keep its distance. But one runs away for fear.

MARIO. Uh-h!

PAOLO. And look here--look--look, let us examine the case. Let us see.
It is improbable that he wrote her he was coming. It is sure he did not
or she would have responded: "You write me that you are coming.... I
love my husband--I beg you to remain away."

MARIO. Oh!

PAOLO. So she, foreseeing his intentions, felt that he would come ... by
that divination....

MARIO. You are the first husband to get angry because a wife did her
duty.

PAOLO. Uhm! Duty--the ugly word!

MARIO. If there ever was a virtuous woman!

PAOLO. Woman or wife?

MARIO. It is the same.

PAOLO. No, no. A woman is for all; a wife for myself alone. Do you
believe one marries a woman because she is virtuous? Never! I marry her
because I love her and because I believe she loves me. There are a
thousand virtuous women, there is one that I love, one alone who loves
me ... if there is one....

MARIO. Paolo!

PAOLO. And if she loved him? Tell me--and if she loved him? And if she
repulsed him for virtue's sake, for duty's sake? Tell me. What remains
for me? If he was alive I could fight, I might win out. But he is
dead--and has killed himself for love of her. If she loved him no force
can tear him from her heart.

MARIO. You think--?

PAOLO. I do not know. It is that--I do not know. And I want to--I want
to hear her shout it to my face. And she shall tell me.... Oh, I had the
feeling the minute I had read the first letter. I did not then
understand anything, indeed, I believed; "I love my husband." But I
immediately felt a blow here--and it hurt me so! And I did not know what
it was. Oh, before some fears assume shape, it takes time. First they
gnaw, they gnaw and one does not know what they are. I was content.... I
told you I was content, I wanted to persuade myself, but you have seen
that fear gnaws at my heart. And if she loved him? Oh, surely! The more
admirable eh? All the world would admire her. I, myself, would admire
her upon my knees if she were the wife of another. But she is mine. I am
not the judge of my wife. I am too intimately concerned, I cannot judge,
I am the owner--she is mine--a thing of mine own. I must admire her
because, while she could have cheated me altogether, she has only
cheated me a little. I see that which she has robbed me of, not that
which remains.

MARIO. You are crazy!

PAOLO. Do you not see that I am odious to her?

MARIO. Oh, God!

PAOLO. Odious! You were not here a moment ago. Don't you see that it is
necessary that she have your help in order to support my presence?

MARIO. To-day. Because she knows that you have read--did I not tell you?
Because it is embarrassing.

PAOLO. Not only to-day. You never move from this place. For fifteen
years that you have played at being a farmer, you have not been away for
a week. And fifteen days ago you suddenly decided to make a tour of the
world. She begged you to.

MARIO. I swear--

PAOLO. I do not believe you. Anna shall have to tell me. [_Paolo starts
to exit._]

MARIO. What are you doing?

PAOLO. I am going to ask her.

MARIO. No, Paolo.

PAOLO. Let me go.

MARIO. No. Maddalena is also there.

PAOLO. Oh, as far as that's concerned--[_Calls._] Anna--Anna!

MARIO. You are very ungrateful.

PAOLO. If she loved me it did not come hard for her to repulse him. If
she loved him, I owe her no gratitude.

ANNA [_entering_]. Did you call me?

    [_Mario starts to exit._]

PAOLO. No, no. Remain. Yes, Anna. I wanted to ask you something.
Whatever you say, I shall believe you.

ANNA. Of that I am certain.

PAOLO. Was it you who begged Mario to come with us? Not to-day I don't
mean.

ANNA. Neither to-day nor before.

MARIO. You see!

ANNA. I did not beg him nor did I propose it to him. But I must say that
if Mario had not come I would not have gone either.

PAOLO. To-day. But fifteen days ago?

MARIO. Listen, this is ridiculous.

ANNA. It is natural that Paolo desires to know and he has the right to
question me.

PAOLO. I do not wish to impose my rights.

ANNA. There you are wrong. We must value our own and respect those of
the others. Fifteen days ago I would have gone with you alone.

MARIO. Oh, blessed God!

PAOLO. You were afraid that she would say no?

ANNA. But his consent to accompany us greatly relieved me.

PAOLO. Which is to say that my company would have weighed upon you.

ANNA. Not weighed. It would have annoyed me.

PAOLO. May one ask why?

ANNA. You may as well. Because I was shadowed by an unhappiness which
you ignored at the time, whereas now you know the reasons. Knowing them,
you will understand that I must be very worried, but for the sake of
your peace I must hide my unhappiness, seeing that I had nothing to
reproach myself with in relation to you. You understand that for two to
be together, always together, it would be more difficult to pretend all
the time--all the time! While the presence of a third person--

MARIO. But listen--listen--

ANNA. Mario had the good idea to accompany us.

PAOLO. Mario, who knew him!

ANNA. I ignore that.

PAOLO. Did he ever speak of it?

MARIO. Do not reply, Anna, do not answer, come away--he is ill, he does
not reason--poor devil--it will pass and he will understand then--

ANNA. No, it is useless.

PAOLO. A useless tragedy, isn't it, Anna?

ANNA. Do you require anything more of me?

PAOLO [_imperiously_]. Yes. I want the letters which you wrote to
Luciano.

ANNA. That is just. I will go and get them. [_Exits._]

PAOLO. All!

    [_Anna returns and hands Paolo a key._]

ANNA. They're in my desk, in the first drawer at the right. They are
tied with a black ribbon.

PAOLO. Very well. [_Exits._]

MARIO. Pardon him, Anna, he does not know what he is doing. He loves you
so much? He is rather weak.

ANNA. Oh, without pity!

MARIO. As are the weak. He loves you--he loves you.

ANNA. Worse for him that he loves me. He will lose.

MARIO. No, it is for you to help him.

ANNA. As long as I can.

    [_Paolo returns with the letters in his hand, goes to the desk and
    takes out the others, throws them all into the fire-place and
    lights them._]

MARIO. What are you doing? Look, Anna!

    [_Anna stands rigid, erect and watches the letters burn, and
    murmurs as though to herself._]

ANNA. Gone! Gone! Gone!

    [_Paolo comes to Anna with hands clinched as though in prayer,
    bursts into tears and kneels before her. Mario goes off half in
    contempt and half in despair._]

PAOLO [_on his knees_]. And now--can you pardon me?

    [_Anna reluctantly rests a hand upon his head, then indulgently
    and discouragingly._]

ANNA. Rise--rise.

PAOLO. Tell me that you pardon me. I swear that I want to die here and
now.

ANNA. Yes, yes. Arise; do not remain so. It hurts me.

PAOLO [_getting up_]. I do not know what got into my head--but I have
suffered a great deal.

ANNA. Yes, I see. Yes ... calm yourself.

PAOLO. Mario has no tact ... it was he who irritated me from the first.
[_Anna starts to go._] Do not go. Stay here a moment. [_Anna sits upon
the sofa._] You see the stroke of madness has passed. It was only
because Mario was here. Mario is good, judicious, but his presence
irritated me. Yes, yes, you were right. But you should also understand
the state of my mind. [_He walks up and down._] After all, what does all
this disturbance mean? It means that I love you--and it seems to me that
is the essential thing! One must consider the source of things. It is
five years that we are husband and wife and you cannot say I have ever
given you the slightest reason for regret. I do not believe so. Five
years are five years. I have worked up to a good position, you have
always figured in society; a pastime which I would never have enjoyed
alone. I had friends, the club, the other husbands after the first year
of marriage, in the evenings, I renounced everything. I do not wish to
praise myself, but--

ANNA. Please don't walk up and down so much!

PAOLO. Excuse me. Will you allow me to sit here next to you? [_Long
silence._] When shall I see you smile, Anna? No, do not get up. Then it
is not true that you have pardoned me!

ANNA. What do you wish, Paolo? What do you wish of me? Say it quickly!

PAOLO. You made me promise never to speak of it.

ANNA. Oh, but I said that you would break your promise immediately. You
are wrong though, believe me. Do not ask me anything. When there is no
more danger I promise you, and I will keep my promise. I promise that I
will tell you everything without your asking me. And it will be good for
both of us. But I wish to choose the moment.

PAOLO. All right then. Do not tell me anything, but come away with me,
with me alone. I will attend to Mario. He was coming to please you and
he will be much happier to see us leave together, as a sign of peace. I
understand that it is repulsive to you to re-awaken those memories; all
right, instead of awakening them I will make you forget them--I swear
it--I swear that I will never speak of them again, but come away with me
and you shall see how much love....

ANNA. Do not insist, Paolo. If you insist I shall come--but--

PAOLO. No, no, I do not insist. You see me here begging. I do not want
you by force. But listen once more, listen. I am grateful, you must
understand, for that which you have done. Oh, I shall recompense you for
it all my life. I realize there is not a more saintly woman in all the
world, but you must enter into my soul and feel a little pity also for
me.

ANNA. Ah, ah! [_Laughs bitterly._]

PAOLO. Why do you prolong this torment? You said when there is no more
danger! What danger is there? Upon whom depends this danger--from you or
from me? What can time change for us? I have always loved you, I love
you now, and in this moment I love you as I have never loved you! Give
me your hand--only your hand. God, Anna! You are beautiful! And you are
my wife--you are my wife and the oath which you took when we were
married, is not only one of faithfulness, but of love. Come away--come
away.

ANNA. No, no, no.

PAOLO. No? Are you afraid? Afraid of being unfaithful to him?

ANNA. Paolo--Paolo!

PAOLO. And if I wish it?

ANNA. You cannot wish it.

PAOLO. And if I want?

ANNA. Paolo!--

PAOLO. And if I command?

ANNA. You will, in one moment, destroy all my plan. Think--your violence
is a liberation for me.

PAOLO. Oh, come--or speak!

ANNA. Do you wish it so? We have come to that? I have done all that I
could.

PAOLO. Yes, go on. Speak!

ANNA. I loved Luciano and I love him still.

PAOLO. Oh!

ANNA. I loved him. I loved him--do you hear? I loved him and I feel an
immense joy to say it here and you did not see that I was dying to say
it--and when I saw you nearly stifling me with your ferocious curiosity,
I said to myself: "It will out--it will out"... And it has come. I loved
him, I love him and I have never loved any one in the world but him and
I feel only remorse for my virtue. Now do you know?

PAOLO. Very well! [_Starts to go._]

ANNA. Ah, no. Remain here--now you hear me. You wished that I speak, now
I do.... It is I now who command you to stay. You must understand very
well that after a scene such as this, everything is finished between us,
so I must tell you everything. I listened to you and will listen to you
again if you wish, but you also must listen to me. What have you ever
done for me? What help have you given me? Have you known how to see when
it was right that you should see? Have you known even how to suspect?
Was it necessary that a man die.... Not even that! When you were not
suffering, as you are suffering now, did you know how to see the way I
suffered? You thought that my sorrow was for a dead relative! You did
not understand that I was crazed; you slept next to me and yet you did
not realize that the first few nights I bit the covers so as not to cry
out. In a moment you realize all the facts. And what are these facts?
That I, your wife for many years, have defended your peace in silence. I
have fulfilled that which people call my duty. Then your curiosity is
awakened and to make up for lost time you wish to violate my soul and
penetrate down to its very depths. Ah--Paolo, no, no; one cannot do
this. No, it will not help to know everything. One does not enter into
the soul by the front door; one enters by stealth. You have tried to
force an entrance; now you see there is nothing more inside for you.

PAOLO. No? You think you are right, eh? You are right--it is true--I
admit that you are right. So I have never had your love, eh? You have
said so; that I never had your love! Then what? You are right. Still--do
you know what I shall do? I throw you out of my house!

ANNA [_happily_]. I go, I go, I go and I shall never come back! And do
not beg me and do not come after me. I have no more strength to have
pity, when I say good-by, I shall be as dead to you! [_Runs off into her
room. Paolo stunned, stares after her awaiting for her return. Anna
returns with her hat and cloak, crosses to exit._]

PAOLO. No, Anna, no, no, no. Anna, no. For pity's sake wait! We are both
mad. What will become of us? I need you. [_Paolo tries to get in her way
to stop her._] Do not go. I do not want you to--remain here. I was
crazy--do not go, you will see that--for all my life--[_Anna tries to
break away._] No, for pity's sake--if you go--if you break from me--if
you speak--I feel that this will be the end of everything! Remain!
Remain, Anna! [_She breaks away._]

ANNA. Good-by! [_Exits._]


  [_Curtain._]




LOVE OF ONE'S NEIGHBOR

  A COMEDY

  BY LEONID ANDREYEV
  TRANSLATED BY THOMAS SELTZER.


  Copyright, 1914, by Albert and Charles Boni.


  Reprinted from "The Plays of the Washington Square Players," published
  by Frank Shay.

  The professional and amateur stage rights on this play are strictly
  reserved by Mr. Thomas Seltzer. Applications for permission to produce
  the play should be made to Mr. Seltzer, 5 West 50th St., New York
  City.



LOVE OF ONE'S NEIGHBOR

A COMEDY BY LEONID ANDREYEV


    [SCENE: _A wild place in the mountains_.

    _A man in an attitude of despair is standing on a tiny projection
    of a rock that rises almost sheer from the ground. How he got
    there it is not easy to say, but he cannot be reached either from
    above or below. Short ladders, ropes and sticks show that attempts
    have been made to save the unknown person, but without success._

    _It seems that the unhappy man has been in that desperate position
    a long time. A considerable crowd has already collected, extremely
    varied in composition. There are venders of cold drinks; there is
    a whole little bar behind which the bartender skips about out of
    breath and perspiring--he has more on his hands than he can attend
    to; there are peddlers selling picture postal cards, coral beads,
    souvenirs, and all sorts of trash. One fellow is stubbornly trying
    to dispose of a tortoise-shell comb, which is really not
    tortoise-shell. Tourists keep pouring in from all sides, attracted
    by the report that a catastrophe is impending--Englishmen,
    Americans, Germans, Russians, Frenchmen, Italians, etc., with all
    their peculiar national traits of character, manner and dress.
    Nearly all carry alpenstocks, field-glasses and cameras. The
    conversation is in different languages, all of which, for the
    convenience of the reader, we shall translate into English._

    _At the foot of the rock where the unknown man is to fall, two
    policemen are chasing the children away and partitioning off a
    space, drawing a rope around short stakes stuck in the ground. It
    is noisy and jolly._]


POLICEMAN. Get away, you loafer! The man'll fall on your head and then
your mother and father will be making a hullabaloo about it.

BOY. Will he fall here?

POLICEMAN. Yes, here.

BOY. Suppose he drops farther?

SECOND POLICEMAN. The boy is right. He may get desperate and jump, land
beyond the rope and hit some people in the crowd. I guess he weighs at
least about two hundred pounds.

FIRST POLICEMAN. Move on, move on, you! Where are you going? Is that
your daughter, lady? Please take her away! The young man will soon fall.

LADY. Soon? Did you say he is going to fall soon? Oh, heavens, and my
husband's not here!

LITTLE GIRL. He's in the café, mamma.

LADY [_desperately_]. Yes, of course. He's always in the café. Go call
him, Nellie. Tell him the man will soon drop. Hurry! Hurry!

VOICES. Waiter!--Garçon--Kellner--Three beers out here!--No
beer?--What?--Say, that's a fine bar--We'll have some in a
moment--Hurry up--Waiter!--Waiter!--Garçon!

FIRST POLICEMAN. Say, boy, you're here again?

BOY. I wanted to take the stone away.

POLICEMAN. What for?

BOY. So he shouldn't get hurt so badly when he falls.

SECOND POLICEMAN. The boy is right. We ought to remove the stone. We
ought to clear the place altogether. Isn't there any sawdust or sand
about?

    [_Two English tourists enter. They look at the unknown man through
    field-glasses and exchange remarks._]

FIRST TOURIST. He's young.

SECOND TOURIST. How old?

FIRST TOURIST. Twenty-eight.

SECOND TOURIST. Twenty-six. Fright has made him look older.

FIRST TOURIST. How much will you bet?

SECOND TOURIST. Ten to a hundred. Put it down.

FIRST TOURIST [_writing in his notebook. To the policeman_]. How did he
get up there? Why don't they take him off?

POLICEMAN. They tried, but they couldn't. Our ladders are too short.

SECOND TOURIST. Has he been here long?

POLICEMAN. Two days.

FIRST TOURIST. Aha! He'll drop at night.

SECOND TOURIST. In two hours. A hundred to a hundred.

FIRST TOURIST. Put it down. [_He shouts to the man on the rock._] How
are you feeling? What? I can't hear you.

UNKNOWN MAN [_in a scarcely audible voice_]. Bad, very bad.

LADY. Oh, heavens, and my husband is not here!

LITTLE GIRL [_running in_]. Papa said he'll get here in plenty of time.
He's playing chess.

LADY. Oh, heavens! Nellie, tell him he must come. I insist. But perhaps
I had rather--Will he fall soon, Mr. Policeman? No? Nellie, you go. I'll
stay here and keep the place for papa.

    [_A tall, lanky woman of unusually independent and military
    appearance and a tourist dispute for the same place. The tourist,
    a short, quiet, rather weak man, feebly defends his rights; the
    woman is resolute and aggressive._]

TOURIST. But, lady, it is my place. I have been standing here for two
hours.

MILITARY WOMAN. What do I care how long you have been standing here. I
want this place. Do you understand? It offers a good view, and that's
just what I want. Do you understand?

TOURIST [_weakly_]. It's what I want, too.

MILITARY WOMAN. I beg your pardon, what do you know about these things
anyway?

TOURIST. What knowledge is required? A man will fall. That's all.

MILITARY WOMAN [_mimicking_]. "A man will fall. That's all." Won't you
have the goodness to tell me whether you have ever seen a man fall? No?
Well, I did. Not one, but three. Two acrobats, one rope-walker and three
aëronauts.

TOURIST. That makes six.

MILITARY WOMAN [_mimicking_]. "That makes six." Say, you are a
mathematical prodigy. And did you ever see a tiger tear a woman to
pieces in a zoo, right before your eyes? Eh? What? Yes, exactly. Now, I
did--Please! Please!

    [_The tourist steps aside, shrugging his shoulders with an air of
    injury, and the tall woman triumphantly takes possession of the
    stone she has won by her prowess. She sits down, spreading out
    around her her bag, handkerchief, peppermints, and medicine
    bottle, takes off her gloves and wipes her field-glass, glancing
    pleasantly on all around. Finally she turns to the lady who is
    waiting for her husband in the café_].

MILITARY WOMAN [_amiably_]. You will tire yourself out, dear. Why don't
you sit down?

LADY. Oh, my, don't talk about it. My legs are as stiff as that rock
there.

MILITARY WOMAN. Men are so rude nowadays. They will never give their
place to a woman. Have you brought peppermints with you?

LADY [_frightened_]. No. Why? Is it necessary?

MILITARY WOMAN. When you keep looking up a long time you are bound to
get sick. Sure thing. Have you spirits of ammonia? No? Good gracious,
how thoughtless! How will they bring you back to consciousness when he
falls? You haven't any smelling salts either, I dare say. Of course not.
Have you anybody to take care of you, seeing that you are so helpless
yourself?

LADY [_frightened_]. I will tell my husband. He is in the café.

MILITARY WOMAN. Your husband is a brute.

POLICEMAN. Whose coat is this? Who threw this rag here?

BOY. It's mine. I spread my coat there so that he doesn't hurt himself
so badly when he falls.

POLICEMAN. Take it away.

    [_Two tourists armed with cameras contending for the same
    position._]

FIRST TOURIST. I wanted this place.

SECOND TOURIST. You wanted it, but I got it.

FIRST TOURIST. You just came here. I have had this place for two days.

SECOND TOURIST. Then why did you go without even leaving your shadow?

FIRST TOURIST. I wasn't going to starve myself to death.

COMB-VENDER [_mysteriously_]. Tortoise-shell.

TOURIST [_savagely_]. Well?

VENDOR. Genuine tortoise-shell.

TOURIST. Go to the devil.

THIRD TOURIST, PHOTOGRAPHER. For heaven's sake, lady, you're sitting on
my camera!

LITTLE LADY. Oh! Where is it?

TOURIST. Under you, under you, lady.

LITTLE LADY. I am so tired. What a wretched camera you have. I thought
it felt uncomfortable and I was wondering why. Now I know; I am sitting
on your camera.

TOURIST [_agonized_]. Lady!

LITTLE LADY. I thought it was a stone. I saw something lying there and I
thought: A queer-looking stone; I wonder why it's so black. So that's
what it was; it was your camera. I see.

TOURIST [_agonized_]. Lady, for heaven's sake!

LITTLE LADY. Why is it so large, tell me. Cameras are small, but this
one is so large. I swear I never had the faintest suspicion it was a
camera. Can you take my picture? I would so much like to have my picture
taken with the mountains here for a background, in this wonderful
setting.

TOURIST. How can I take your picture if you are sitting on my camera?

LITTLE LADY [_jumping up, frightened_]. Is it possible? You don't say
so. Why didn't you tell me so? Does it take pictures?

VOICES. Waiter, one beer!--What did you bring wine for?--I gave you my
order long ago.--What will you have, sir?--One minute.--In a second.
Waiter!--Waiter--Toothpicks!--

    [_A fat tourist enters in haste, panting, surrounded by a numerous
    family._]

TOURIST [_crying_]. Mary! Aleck! Jimmie!--Where is Mary? For God's sake!
Where is Mary?

STUDENT [_dismally_]. Here she is, papa.

TOURIST. Where is she? Mary!

GIRL. Here I am, papa.

TOURIST. Where in the world are you? [_He turns around._] Ah, there!
What are you standing back of me for? Look, look! For goodness' sake,
where are you looking?

GIRL [_dismally_]. I don't know, papa.

TOURIST. No, that's impossible. Imagine! She never once saw a lightning
flash. She always keeps her eyes open as wide as onions, but the instant
it flashes she closes them. So she never saw lightning, not once. Mary,
you are missing it again. There it is! You see!

STUDENT. She sees, papa.

TOURIST. Keep an eye on her. [_Suddenly dropping into tone of profound
pity._] Ah, poor young man. Imagine! He'll fall from that high rock.
Look, children, see how pale he is! That should be a lesson to you how
dangerous climbing is.

STUDENT [_dismally_]. He won't fall to-day, papa!

SECOND GIRL. Papa, Mary has closed her eyes again.

FIRST STUDENT. Let us sit down, papa! Upon my word, he won't fall
to-day. The porter told me so. I can't stand it any more. You've been
dragging us about every day from morning till night visiting art
galleries.

TOURIST. What's that? For whose benefit am I doing this? Do you think I
enjoy spending my time with a dunce?

SECOND GIRL. Papa, Mary is blinking her eyes.

SECOND STUDENT. I can't stand it, either. I have terrible dreams.
Yesterday I dreamed of garçons the whole night long.

TOURIST. Jimmie.

FIRST STUDENT. I have gotten so thin I am nothing but skin and bones. I
can't stand it any more, father. I'd rather be a farmer, or tend pigs.

TOURIST. Aleck.

FIRST STUDENT. If he were really to fall--but it's a fake. You believe
every lie told you! They all lie. Baedeker lies, too. Yes, your Baedeker
lies!

MARY [_dismally_]. Papa, children, he's beginning to fall.

    [_The man on the rock shouts something down into the crowd.
    There is general commotion._ (_Voices._) _"Look, he's falling."
    Field-glasses are raised; the photographers, violently agitated,
    click their cameras; the policemen diligently clean the place
    where he is to fall._]

PHOTOGRAPHER. Oh, hang it! What is the matter with me? The devil! When a
man's in a hurry--

SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. Brother, your camera is closed.

PHOTOGRAPHER. The devil take it.

VOICES. Hush! He's getting ready to fall.--No, he's saying
something.--No, he's falling.--Hush!

UNKNOWN MAN ON THE ROCK [_faintly_]. Save me! Save me!

TOURIST. Ah, poor young man. Mary, Jimmie, there's a tragedy for you.
The sky is clear, the weather is beautiful, and has he to fall and be
shattered to death? Can you realize how dreadful that is, Aleck?

STUDENT [_wearily_]. Yes, I can realize it.

TOURIST. Mary, can you realize it? Imagine. There is the sky. There are
people enjoying themselves and partaking of refreshments. Everything is
so nice and pleasant, and he has to fall. What a tragedy! Do you
remember Hamlet?

SECOND GIRL [_prompting_]. Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, of Elsinore.

JAMES. Of Helsingfors, I know. Don't bother me, father!

MARY [_dismally_]. He dreamed about garçons all night long.

ALECK. Why don't you order sandwiches, father.

COMB-VENDER [_mysteriously_]. Tortoise-shell. Genuine tortoise-shell.

TOURIST [_credulously_]. Stolen?

VENDOR. Why, sir, the idea!

TOURIST [_angrily_]. Do you mean to tell me it's genuine if it isn't
stolen? Go on. Not much.

MILITARY WOMAN [_amiably_]. Are all these your children?

TOURIST. Yes, madam. A father's duty. You see, they are protesting. It
is the eternal conflict between fathers and children. Here is such a
tragedy going on, such a heart-rending tragedy--Mary, you are blinking
your eyes again.

MILITARY WOMAN. You are quite right. Children must be hardened to
things. But why do you call this a terrible tragedy? Every roofer, when
he falls, falls from a great height. But this here--what is it? A
hundred, two hundred feet. I saw a man fall plumb from the sky.

TOURIST [_overwhelmed_]. You don't say?

ALECK. Children, listen. Plumb from the sky.

MILITARY WOMAN. Yes, yes. I saw an aëronaut drop from the clouds and go
crash upon an iron roof.

TOURIST. How terrible!

MILITARY WOMAN. That's what I call a tragedy. It took two hours to bring
me back to consciousness, and all that time they pumped water on me, the
scoundrels. I was nearly drowned. From that day on I never step out of
the door without taking spirits of ammonia with me.

    [_Enter a strolling troop of Italian singers and musicians: a
    short, fat tenor, with a reddish beard and large, watery, stupidly
    dreamy eyes, singing with extraordinary sweetness; a skinny
    humpback with a jockey cap, and a screeching baritone; a bass who
    is also a mandolinist, looking like a bandit; a girl with a
    violin, closing her eyes when she plays, so that only the whites
    are seen. They take their stand and begin to sing: "Sul mare
    lucica--Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia--"_]

MARY [_dismally_]. Papa, children, look. He is beginning to wave his
hands.

TOURIST. Is that the effect the music has upon him?

MILITARY WOMAN. Quite possible. Music usually goes with such things. But
that'll make him fall sooner than he should. Musicians, go away from
here! Go!

    [_A tall tourist, with up-curled mustache, violently
    gesticulating, enters, followed by a small group attracted by
    curiosity._]

TALL TOURIST. It's scandalous. Why don't they save him? Ladies and
gentlemen, you all heard him shout: "Save me." Didn't you?

THE CURIOUS [_in chorus_]. Yes, yes, we heard him.

TALL TOURIST. There you are. I distinctly heard these words: "Save me!
Why don't they save me?" It's scandalous. Policemen, policemen! Why
don't you save him? What are you doing there?

POLICEMEN. We are cleaning up the place for him to fall.

TALL TOURIST. That's a sensible thing to do, too. But why don't you save
him? You ought to save him. If a man asks you to save him, it is
absolutely essential to save him. Isn't it so, ladies and gentlemen?

THE CURIOUS [_in chorus_]. True, absolutely true. It is essential to
save him.

TALL TOURIST [_with heat_]. We are not heathens, we are Christians. We
should love our neighbors. When a man asks to be saved every measure
which the government has at its command should be taken to save him.
Policemen, have you taken every measure?

POLICEMAN. Every one!

TALL TOURIST. Every one without exception? Gentleman, every measure has
been taken. Listen, young man, every measure has been taken to save you.
Did you hear?

UNKNOWN MAN [_in a scarcely audible voice_]. Save me!

TALL TOURIST [_excitedly_]. Gentlemen, did you hear? He again asked to
be saved. Policemen, did you hear?

ONE OF THE CURIOUS [_timidly_]. It is my opinion that it is absolutely
necessary to save him.

TALL TOURIST. That's right. Exactly. Why, that's what I have been saying
for the last two hours. Policemen, do you hear? It is scandalous.

ONE OF THE CURIOUS [_a little bolder_]. It is my opinion that an appeal
should be made to the highest authority.

THE REST [_in chorus_]. Yes, yes, a complaint should be made. It is
scandalous. The government ought not to leave any of its citizens in
danger. We all pay taxes. He must be saved.

TALL TOURIST. Didn't I say so? Of course we must put up a complaint.
Young man! Listen, young man. Do you pay taxes? What? I can't hear.

TOURIST. Jimmie, Katie, listen! What a tragedy! Ah, the poor young man!
He is soon to fall and they ask him to pay a domiciliary tax.

KATE [_the girl with glasses, pedantically_]. That can hardly be called
a domicile, father. The meaning of domicile is--

JAMES [_pinching her_]. Lickspittle.

MARY [_wearily_]. Papa, children, look! He's again beginning to fall.

    [_There is excitement in the crowd, and again a bustling and
    shouting among the photographers._]

TALL TOURIST. We must hurry, ladies and gentlemen. He must be saved at
any cost. Who's going with me?

THE CURIOUS [_in chorus_]. We are all going! We are all going?

TALL TOURIST. Policemen, did you hear? Come, ladies and gentlemen!

    [_They depart, fiercely gesticulating. The café grows more lively.
    The sound of clinking beer glasses and the clatter of steins is
    heard, and the beginning of a loud German song. The bartender, who
    has forgotten himself while talking to somebody, starts suddenly
    and runs off, looks up to the sky with a hopeless air and wipes
    the perspiration from his face with his napkin. Angry calls of
    Waiter! Waiter!_]

UNKNOWN MAN [_rather loudly_]. Can you let me have some soda water?

    [_The waiter is startled, looks at the sky, glances at the man on
    the rock, and pretending not to have heard him, walks away._]

MANY VOICES. Waiter! Beer!

WAITER. One moment, one moment!

    [_Two drunken men come out from the café._]

LADY. Ah, there is my husband. Come here quick.

MILITARY WOMAN. A downright brute.

DRUNKEN MAN [_waving his hand to the unknown man_]. Say, is it very bad
up there? Hey?

UNKNOWN MAN [_rather loudly_]. Yes, it's bad. I am sick and tired of it.

DRUNKEN MAN. Can't you get a drink?

UNKNOWN MAN. No, how can I?

SECOND DRUNKEN MAN. Say, what are you talking about? How can he get a
drink? The man is about to die and you tempt him and try to get him
excited. Listen, up there, we have been drinking your health right
along. It won't hurt you, will it?

FIRST DRUNKEN MAN. Ah, go on! What are you talking about? How can it
hurt him? Why, it will only do him good. It will encourage him. Listen,
honest to God, we are very sorry for you, but don't mind us. We are
going to the café to have another drink. Good-by.

SECOND DRUNKEN MAN. Look, what a crowd.

FIRST DRUNKEN MAN. Come, or he'll fall and then they'll close the café.

    [_Enter a new crowd of tourists, a very elegant gentleman, the
    chief correspondent of European newspapers at their head. He is
    followed by an ecstatic whisper of respect and admiration. Many
    leave the café to look at him, and even the waiter turns slightly
    around, glances at him quickly, smiles happily and continues on
    his way, spilling something from his tray._]

VOICES. The correspondent! The correspondent! Look!

LADY. Oh, my, and my husband is gone again!

TOURIST. Jimmie, Mary, Aleck, Katie, Charlie, look! This is the chief
correspondent. Do you realize it? The very highest of all. Whatever he
writes goes.

KATE. Mary, dear, again you are not looking.

ALECK. I wish you would order some sandwiches for us. I can't stand it
any longer. A human being has to eat.

TOURIST [_ecstatically_]. What a tragedy! Katie, dear, can you realize
it? Consider how awful. The weather is so beautiful, and the chief
correspondent. Take out your note-book, Jimmie.

JAMES. I lost it, father.

CORRESPONDENT. Where is he?

VOICES [_obligingly_]. There, there he is. There! A little higher.
Still higher! A little lower! No, higher!

CORRESPONDENT. If you please, if you please, ladies and gentlemen, I
will find him myself. Oh, yes, there he is. Hm! What a situation!

TOURIST. Won't you have a chair?

CORRESPONDENT. Thank you. [_Sits down._] Hm! What a situation! Very
interesting. Very interesting, indeed! [_Whisks out his note-book;
amiably to the photographers._] Have you taken any pictures yet,
gentlemen?

FIRST PHOTOGRAPHER. Yes, sir, certainly, certainly. We have photographed
the place showing the general character of the locality--

SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. The tragic situation of the young man--

CORRESPONDENT. Ye-es, very, very interesting.

TOURIST. Did you hear, Aleck? This smart man, the chief correspondent,
says it's interesting, and you keep bothering about sandwiches. Dunce!

ALECK. May be he has had his dinner already.

CORRESPONDENT. Ladies and gentlemen, I beg you to be quiet.

OBLIGING VOICES. It is quieter in the café.

CORRESPONDENT [_shouts to the unknown man_]. Permit me to introduce
myself. I am the chief correspondent of the European press. I have been
sent here at the special request of the editors. I should like to ask
you several questions concerning your situation. What is your name? What
is your general position? How old are you? [_The unknown man mumbles
something._]

CORRESPONDENT [_a little puzzled_]. I can't hear a thing. Has he been
that way all the time?

VOICE. Yes, it's impossible to hear a word he says.

CORRESPONDENT [_jotting down something in his note-book_]. Fine! Are you
a bachelor? [_The unknown man mumbles._]

CORRESPONDENT. I can't hear you. Are you married? Yes?

TOURIST. He said he was a bachelor.

SECOND TOURIST. No, he didn't. Of course, he's married.

CORRESPONDENT [_carelessly_]. You think so? All right. We'll put down,
married. How many children have you? Can't hear. It seems to me he said
three. Hm! Anyway, we'll put down five.

TOURIST. Oh, my, what a tragedy. Five children! Imagine!

MILITARY WOMAN. He is lying.

CORRESPONDENT [_shouting_]. How did you get into this position? What? I
can't hear? Louder! Repeat. What did you say? [_Perplexed, to the
crowd._] What did he say? The fellow has a devilishly weak voice.

FIRST TOURIST. It seems to me he said that he lost his way.

SECOND TOURIST. No, he doesn't know himself how he got there.

VOICES. He was out hunting.--He was climbing up the rocks.--No, no! He
is simply a lunatic!

CORRESPONDENT. I beg your pardon, I beg your pardon, ladies and
gentlemen! Anyway, he didn't drop from the sky. However--[_He quickly
jots down in his note-book._] Unhappy young man--suffering from
childhood with attacks of lunacy.--The bright light of the full
moon--the wild rocks.--Sleepy janitor--didn't notice--

FIRST TOURIST [_to the second, in a whisper_]. But it's a new moon now.

SECOND TOURIST. Go, what does a layman know about astronomy.

TOURIST [_ecstatically_]. Mary, pay attention to this! You have before
you an ocular demonstration of the influence of the moon on living
organisms. What a terrible tragedy to go out walking on a moonlit night
and find suddenly that you have climbed to a place where it is
impossible to climb down or be taken down.

CORRESPONDENT [_shouting_]. What feelings are you experiencing? I can't
hear. Louder! Ah, so? Well, well! What a situation!

CROWD [_interested_]. Listen, listen! Let's hear what his feelings are.
How terrible!

CORRESPONDENT [_writes in his note-book, tossing out detached remarks_].
Mortal terror, numbs his limbs.--A cold shiver goes down his spinal
column.--No hope.--Before his mental vision rises a picture of family
bliss: Wife making sandwiches; his five children innocently lisping
their love.--Grandma in the armchair with a tube to her ear, that is,
grandpa in the arm-chair, with a tube to his ear and grandma.--Deeply
moved by the sympathy of the public.--His last wish before his death
that the words he uttered with his last breath should be published in
our newspapers--

MILITARY WOMAN [_indignantly_]. My! He lies like a salesman.

MARY [_wearily_]. Papa, children, look, he is starting to fall again.

TOURIST [_angrily_]. Don't bother me. Such a tragedy is unfolding itself
right before your very eyes--and you--What are you making such big eyes
for again?

CORRESPONDENT [_shouting_]. Hold on fast. That's it! My last question:
What message do you wish to leave for your fellow citizens before you
depart for the better world?

UNKNOWN MAN. That they may all go to the devil.

CORRESPONDENT. What? Hm, yes--[_He writes quickly._] Ardent love--is a
stanch opponent of the law granting equal rights to negroes. His last
words: "Let the black niggers--"

PASTOR [_out of breath, pushing through the crowd_]. Where is he? Ah,
where is he? Ah, there! Poor young man. Has there been no clergyman here
yet? No? Thank you. Am I the first?

CORRESPONDENT [_writes_]. A touching dramatic moment.--A minister has
arrived.--All are trembling on the verge of suspense. Many are shedding
tears--

PASTOR. Excuse me, excuse me! Ladies and gentlemen, a lost soul wishes
to make its peace with God--[_He shouts._] My son, don't you wish to
make your peace with God? Confess your sins to me. I will grant you
remission at once! What? I cannot hear?

CORRESPONDENT [_writes_]. The air is shaken with the people's groans.
The minister of the church exhorts the criminal, that is, the
unfortunate man, in touching language.--The unfortunate creature with
tears in his eyes thanks him in a faint voice--

UNKNOWN MAN [_faintly_]. If you won't go away I will jump on your head.
I weigh three hundred pounds. [_All jump away frightened behind each
other._]

VOICES. He is falling! He is falling!

TOURIST [_agitatedly_]. Mary, Aleck, Jimmie.

POLICEMAN [_energetically_]. Clear the place, please! Move on!

LADY. Nellie, go quick and tell your father he is falling.

PHOTOGRAPHER [_in despair_]. Oh my, I am out of films [_tosses madly
about, looking pitifully at the unknown man_]. One minute, I'll go and
get them. I have some in my overcoat pocket over there. [_He walks a
short distance, keeping his eyes fixed on the unknown man, and then
returns._] I can't, I am afraid I'll miss it. Good heavens! They are
over there in my overcoat. Just one minute, please. I'll fetch them
right away. What a fix.

PASTOR. Hurry, my friend. Pull yourself together and try to hold out
long enough to tell me at least your principal sins. You needn't
mention the lesser ones.

TOURIST. What a tragedy?

CORRESPONDENT [_writes_]. The criminal, that is, the unhappy man, makes
a public confession and does penance. Terrible secrets revealed. He is a
bank robber--blew up safes.

TOURIST [_credulously_]. The scoundrel.

PASTOR [_shouts_]. In the first place, have you killed? Secondly, have
you stolen? Thirdly, have you committed adultery?

TOURIST. Mary, Jimmie, Katie, Aleck, Charlie, close your ears.

CORRESPONDENT [_writing_]. Tremendous excitement in the crowd.--Shouts
of indignation.

PASTOR [_hurriedly_]. Fourthly, have you blasphemed? Fifthly, have you
coveted your neighbor's ass, his ox, his slave, his wife? Sixthly--

PHOTOGRAPHER [_alarmed_]. Ladies and gentlemen, an ass!

SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. Where? I can't see it!

PHOTOGRAPHER [_calmed_]. I thought I heard it.

PASTOR. I congratulate you, my son! I congratulate you! You have made
your peace with God. Now you may rest easy--Oh, God, what do I see? The
Salvation Army! Policeman, chase them away!

    [_Enter a Salvation Army band, men and women in uniforms. There
    are only three instruments, a drum, a violin and a piercingly
    shrill trumpet._]

SALVATION ARMY MAN [_frantically beating his drum and shouting in a
nasal voice_]. Brethren and sisters--

PASTOR [_shouting even louder in a still more nasal voice in an effort
to drown the other's_]. He has already confessed. Bear witness, ladies
and gentlemen, that he has confessed and made his peace with heaven.

SALVATION ARMY WOMAN [_climbing on a rock and shrieking_]. I once
wandered in the dark just as this sinner and I lived a bad life and was
a drunkard, but when the light of truth--

A VOICE. Why, she is drunk now.

PASTOR. Policeman, didn't he confess and make his peace with heaven?

    [_The Salvation Army man continues to beat his drum frantically;
    the rest begin to drawl a song. Shouts, laughter, whistling.
    Singing in the café, and calls of "Waiter!" in all languages. The
    bewildered policemen tear themselves away from the pastor, who is
    pulling them somewhere; the photographers turn and twist about as
    if the seats were burning under them. An English lady comes riding
    in on a donkey, who, stopping suddenly, sprawls out his legs and
    refuses to go farther, adding his noise to the rest. Gradually the
    noise subsides. The Salvation Army band solemnly withdraws, and
    the pastor, waving his hands, follows them._]

FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST [_to the other_]. How impolite! This crowd doesn't
know how to behave itself.

SECOND ENGLISH TOURIST. Come, let's go away from here.

FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST. One minute. [_He shouts._] Listen, won't you
hurry up and fall?

SECOND ENGLISH TOURIST. What are you saying, Sir William?

FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST [_shouting_]. Don't you see that's what they are
waiting for? As a gentleman you should grant them this pleasure and so
escape the humiliation of undergoing tortures before this mob.

SECOND ENGLISH TOURIST. Sir William.

TOURIST [_ecstatically_]. See? It's true. Aleck, Jimmie, it's true. What
a tragedy!

SEVERAL TOURISTS [_going for the Englishman_]. How dare you?

FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST [_shoving them aside_]. Hurry up and fall! Do you
hear? If you haven't the backbone I'll help you out with a pistol shot.

VOICES. That red-haired devil has gone clear out of his mind.

POLICEMAN [_seizing the Englishman's hand_]. You have no right to do it,
it's against the law. I'll arrest you.

SOME TOURISTS. A barbarous nation!

    [_The unknown man shouts something. Excitement below._]

VOICES. Hear, hear, hear!

UNKNOWN MAN [_aloud_]. Take that jackass away to the devil. He wants to
shoot me. And tell the boss that I can't stand it any longer.

VOICES. What's that? What boss? He is losing his mind, the poor man.

TOURIST. Aleck! Mary! This is a mad scene. Jimmie, you remember Hamlet?
Quick.

UNKNOWN MAN [_angrily_]. Tell him my spinal column is broken.

MARY [_wearily_]. Papa, children, he's beginning to kick with his legs.

KATE. Is that what is called convulsions, papa?

TOURIST [_rapturously_]. I don't know. I think it is. What a tragedy?

ALECK [_glumly_]. You fool! You keep cramming and cramming and you don't
know that the right name for that is agony. And you wear eyeglasses,
too. I can't bear it any longer, papa.

TOURIST. Think of it, children. A man is about to fall down to his death
and he is bothering about his spinal column.

    [_There is a noise. A man in a white vest, very much frightened,
    enters, almost dragged by angry tourists. He smiles, bows on all
    sides, stretches out his arms, now running forward as he is
    pushed, now trying to escape in the crowd, but is seized and
    pulled again._]

VOICES. A bare-faced deception! It is an outrage. Policeman, policeman,
he must be taught a lesson!

OTHER VOICES. What is it? What deception? What is it all about? They
have caught a thief!

THE MAN IN THE WHITE VEST [_bowing and smiling_]. It's a joke, ladies
and gentlemen, a joke, that's all. The people were bored, so I wanted to
provide a little amusement for them.

UNKNOWN MAN [_angrily_]. Boss!

THE MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. Wait a while, wait a while.

UNKNOWN MAN. Do you expect me to stay here until the Second Advent? The
agreement was till twelve o'clock. What time is it now?

TALL TOURIST [_indignantly_]. Do you hear, ladies and gentlemen? This
scoundrel, this man here in the white vest hired that other scoundrel up
there and just simply tied him to the rock.

VOICES. Is he tied?

TALL TOURIST. Yes, he is tied and he can't fall. We are excited and
worrying, but he couldn't fall even if he tried.

UNKNOWN MAN. What else do you want? Do you think I am going to break my
neck for your measly ten dollars? Boss, I can't stand it any more. One
man wanted to shoot me. The pastor preached me for two hours. This is
not in the agreement.

ALECK. Father, I told you that Baedeker lies. You believe everything
anybody tells you and drag us about without eating.

MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. The people were bored. My only desire was to
amuse the people.

MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? I don't understand a thing. Why
isn't he going to fall? Who, then, is going to fall?

TOURIST. I don't understand a thing either. Of course he's got to fall!

JAMES. You never understand anything, father. Weren't you told that he's
tied to the rock?

ALECK. You can't convince him. He loves every Baedeker more than his own
children.

JAMES. A nice father!

TOURIST. Silence!

MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? He must fall.

TALL TOURIST. The idea! What a deception. You'll have to explain this.

MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. The people were bored. Excuse me, ladies and
gentlemen, but wishing to accommodate you--give you a few hours of
pleasant excitement--elevate your spirits--inspire you with altruistic
sentiments--

ENGLISHMAN. Is the café yours?

MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. Yes.

ENGLISHMAN. And is the hotel below also yours?

GENTLEMAN. Yes. The people were bored--

CORRESPONDENT [_writing_]. The proprietor of the café, desiring to
increase his profits from the sale of alcoholic beverages, exploits the
best human sentiments.--The people's indignation--

UNKNOWN MAN [_angrily_]. Boss, will you have me taken off at once or
won't you?

HOTEL KEEPER. What do you want up there? Aren't you satisfied? Didn't I
have you taken off at night?

UNKNOWN MAN. Well, I should say so. You think I'd be hanging here
nights, too!

HOTEL OWNER. Then you can stand it a few minutes longer. The people are
bored--

TALL TOURIST. Say, have you any idea of what you have done? Do you
realize the enormity of it? You are scoundrels, who for your own sordid
personal ends have impiously exploited the finest human sentiment, love
of one's neighbor. You have caused us to undergo fear and suffering. You
have poisoned our hearts with pity. And now, what is the upshot of it
all? The upshot is that this scamp, your vile accomplice, is bound to
the rock and not only will he not fall as everybody expects, but he
_can't_.

MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? He has got to fall.

TOURIST. Policeman! Policeman!

    [_The pastor enters, out of breath._]

PASTOR. What? Is he still living? Oh, there he is! What fakirs those
Salvationists are.

VOICES. Don't you know that he is bound?

PASTOR. Bound! Bound to what? To life? Well, we are all bound to life
until death snaps the cord. But whether he is bound or not bound, I
reconciled him with heaven, and that's enough. But those fakirs--

TOURIST. Policeman! Policeman, you must draw up an official report.
There is no way out of it.

MILITARY WOMAN [_going for the hotel owner_]. I will not allow myself to
be fooled. I saw an aëronaut drop from the clouds and go crash upon a
roof. I saw a tiger tear a woman to pieces--

PHOTOGRAPHER. I spoiled three films photographing that scamp. You will
have to answer for this, sir. I will hold you responsible.

TOURIST. An official report! An official report! Such a bare-faced
deception. Mary, Jimmie, Aleck, Charlie, call a policeman.

HOTEL KEEPER [_drawing back, in despair_]. But, I can't make him fall if
he doesn't want to. I did everything in my power, ladies and gentlemen!

MILITARY WOMAN. I will not allow it.

HOTEL KEEPER. Excuse me. I promise you on my word of honor that the next
time he will fall. But he doesn't want to, to-day.

UNKNOWN MAN. What's that? What did you say about the next time?

HOTEL KEEPER. You shut up there!

UNKNOWN MAN. For ten dollars?

PASTOR. Pray, what impudence! I just made his peace with heaven when he
was in danger of his life. You have heard him threatening to fall on my
head, haven't you? And still he is dissatisfied. Adulterer, thief,
murderer, coveter of your neighbor's ass--

PHOTOGRAPHER. Ladies and gentlemen, an ass!

SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. Where, where is an ass?

PHOTOGRAPHER [_calmed_]. I thought I heard one.

SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. It is you who are an ass. I have become cross-eyed
on account of your shouting: "An ass! An ass!"

MARY [_wearily_]. Papa, children, look! A policeman is coming.

    [_Excitement and noise. On one side a crowd pulling a policeman,
    on the other the hotel keeper; both keep crying: "Excuse me!
    Excuse me!"_]

TOURIST. Policeman, there he is, the fakir, the swindler.

PASTOR. Policeman, there he is, the adulterer, the murderer, the coveter
of his neighbor's ass--

POLICEMAN. Excuse me, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. We will bring him
to his senses in short order and make him confess.

HOTEL KEEPER. I can't make him fall if he doesn't want to.

POLICEMAN. Hey, you, young man out there! Can you fall or can't you?
Confess!

UNKNOWN MAN [_sullenly_]. I don't want to fall!

VOICES. Aha, he has confessed. What a scoundrel!

TALL TOURIST. Write down what I dictate, policeman--"Desiring--for the
sake of gain to exploit the sentiment of love of one's neighbor--the
sacred feeling--a-a-a--"

TOURIST. Listen, children, they are drawing up an official report. What
exquisite choice of language!

TALL TOURIST. The sacred feeling which--

POLICEMAN [_writing with painful effort, his tongue stuck out_]. Love of
one's neighbor--the sacred feeling which--

MARY [_wearily_]. Papa, children, look! An advertisement is coming.

    [_Enter musicians with trumpets and drums, a man at their head
    carrying on a long pole a huge placard with the picture of an
    absolutely bald head, and printed underneath: "I was bald."_]

UNKNOWN MAN. Too late. They are drawing up a report here. You had better
skidoo!

THE MAN CARRYING THE POLE [_stopping and speaking in a loud voice_]. I
had been bald from the day of my birth and for a long time thereafter.
That miserable growth, which in my tenth year covered my scalp was more
like wool than real hair. When I was married my skull was as bare as a
pillow and my young bride--

TOURIST. What a tragedy! Newly married and with such a head! Can you
realize how dreadful that is, children?

    [_All listen with interest, even the policeman stopping in his
    arduous task and inclining his ear with his pen in his hand._]

THE MAN CARRYING THE POLE [_solemnly_]. And the time came when my
matrimonial happiness literally hung by a hair. All the medicines
recommended by quacks to make my hair grow--

TOURIST. Your note-book, Jimmie.

MILITARY WOMAN. But when is he going to fall?

HOTEL KEEPER [_amiably_]. The next time, lady, the next time. I won't
tie him so hard--you understand?


  [_Curtain._]




THE BOOR

  A COMEDY

  BY ANTON TCHEKOFF
  TRANSLATED BY HILMAR BAUKAGE.


  Copyright, 1915, by Samuel French.


  CHARACTERS

    HELENA IVANOVNA POPOV [_a young widow, mistress of a country
        estate_].
    GRIGORJI STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV [_proprietor of a country estate_].
    LUKA [_servant of Mrs. Popov_].
    A GARDENER.
    A COACHMAN.
    _Several Workmen._

  PLACE: _The Estate of Mrs. Popov_.
  TIME: _The Present_.

  [_The stage shows an elegantly furnished reception room._]


  Reprinted from "The World's Best Plays by Celebrated European
  Authors," edited by Barrett H. Clark, and published by Samuel French,
  by permission of, and special arrangements with, Samuel French.



THE BOOR

A COMEDY BY ANTON TCHEKOFF


    [_Mrs. Popov discovered in deep mourning, sitting upon a sofa,
    gazing steadfastly at a photograph. Luka is also present._]


LUKA. It isn't right, ma'am--You're wearing yourself out! The maid and
the cook have gone looking for berries, everything that breathes is
enjoying life, even the cat knows how to be happy--slips about the
courtyard and catches birds; but you hide yourself here in the house as
though you were in a cloister and have no pleasures--Yes, truly, by
actual reckoning you haven't left this house for a whole year.

MRS. POPOV. And I shall never leave it--why should I? My life is over.
He lies in his grave, and I have buried myself within these four walls.
We are both dead.

LUKA. There you are again! It's too awful to listen to, so it is!
Nikolai Michailovitch is dead, it was the will of the Lord and the Lord
has given him eternal peace. You have grieved over it and that ought to
be enough. Now it's time to stop. One can't weep and wear mourning
forever! My wife died a few years ago, too. I grieved for her, I wept a
whole month--and then it was over. Must one be forever singing
lamentations? That would be more than your husband was worth! [_He
sighs._] You have forgotten all your neighbors. You don't go out and you
won't receive any one. We live,--you'll pardon me--like the spiders, and
the good light of day we never see. All the livery is eaten by the
mice--As though there weren't any more nice people in the world! But the
whole neighborhood is full of gentlefolk. In Riblov the regiment is
stationed, officers--simply beautiful! One can't see enough of them!
Every Friday a ball, and military music every day. Oh, my dear, dear
ma'am, young and pretty as you are, if you'd only let your spirits live!
Beauty can't last forever. When ten short years are over, then you'll be
glad enough to go out a bit! And meet the officers--and then it'll be
too late.

MRS. POPOV [_resolutely_]. Please, don't speak of these things to me
again. You know very well that since the death of Nikolai Michailovitch
my life is absolutely nothing to me. You think I live, but it only seems
that I live. Do you understand? Oh, that his departed soul may see how I
love him--Oh, I know, it's no secret to you; he was often unjust towards
me, cruel and--he wasn't faithful, but I shall be faithful to the grave
and prove to him how I am able to love. There, in the beyond, he'll find
me the same, as I was until his death.

LUKA. What is the use of all these words? When you'd so much rather go
walking in the garden or order Tobby or Welikan harnessed to the trap,
and visit the neighbors.

MRS. POPOV [_weeping_]. Oh!

LUKA. Madam, dear, dear Madam, what is it? In heaven's name?

MRS. POPOV. He loved Tobby so! He always took him when he drove to the
Kortschagins or the Vlassovs. What a wonderful horseman he was! How fine
he looked! When he pulled at the reins with all his might! Tobby, Tobby,
give him an extra measure of oats to-day!

LUKA. Yes, ma'am.

    [_A bell rings loudly._]

MRS. POPOV [_shudders_]. What's that? Say that I am receiving no one.

LUKA. Yes, ma'am. [_He goes out center._]

MRS. POPOV [_gazing at the photograph_]. You shall see, Nikol, how I can
love and forgive--My love will die only with me--when my poor heart
stops beating. [_She smiles through her tears._] And aren't you
ashamed? I have been a good, true wife, I have imprisoned myself and I
shall remain true until the grave, and you--you--you're not ashamed of
yourself, my dear monster! Betrayed me, quarreled with me, left me alone
for weeks--

    [_Luka enters in great excitement._]

LUKA. Oh, ma'am, some one is asking for you, insists on seeing you--

MRS. POPOV. You told him that since my husband's death I receive no one?

LUKA. I said so, but he won't listen, he says that it is a pressing
matter.

MRS. POPOV. I--re--ceive--no--one!

LUKA. I told him that, but he's a wild-man, he swore and pushed himself
into the room--he's in the dining room now.

MRS. POPOV [_excitedly_]. Good. Show him in. What an intruder!

    [_Luka goes out center._]

MRS. POPOV. What a bore people are! What can they want with me? Why do
they disturb my peace? [_She sighs._] Yes, it is clear I must go to a
cloister. [_Meditatively._] Yes, in a cloister--

    [_Smirnov enters followed by Luka._]

SMIRNOV [_to Luka_]. Fool, you make too much noise! You're an ass!
[_Discovering Mrs. Popov--politely._] Madam, I have the honor to
introduce myself; Lieutenant in the Artillery, retired, country
gentleman, Grigorji Stepanovitch Smirnov! I'm forced to bother you about
an exceedingly important matter.

MRS. POPOV [_without offering her hand_]. What is it you wish?

SMIRNOV. Your deceased husband, with whom I had the honor to be
acquainted, left me two notes amounting to about twelve hundred rubles.
Inasmuch as I have to meet the interest to-morrow on a loan from the
Agrarian Bank, I should like to request, madam, that you pay me the
money to-day.

MRS. POPOV. Twelve hundred--and for what was my husband indebted to you?

SMIRNOV. He had bought oats from me.

MRS. POPOV [_with a sigh to Luka_]. Don't forget to have Tobby given an
extra measure of oats.

    [_Luka goes out._]

MRS. POPOV [_to Smirnov_]. If Nikolai Michailovitch is indebted to you,
I will of course pay you, but, I am sorry, I haven't the money to-day.
To-morrow my manager will be back from the city and I shall notify him
to pay you what is due you, but until then I cannot satisfy your
request. Furthermore to-day it is just seven months since the death of
my husband and I am not in the mood to discuss money matters.

SMIRNOV. And I am in the mood to fly up the chimney with my feet in the
air if I can't lay hands on that interest to-morrow. They'll sequestrate
my estate!

MRS. POPOV. Day after to-morrow you will receive the money.

SMIRNOV. I don't need the money day after to-morrow, I need it to-day.

MRS. POPOV. I'm sorry I can't pay you to-day.

SMIRNOV. And I can't wait until day after to-morrow.

MRS. POPOV. But what can I do if I haven't it?

SMIRNOV. So you can't pay?

MRS. POPOV. I cannot.

SMIRNOV. Hm.--Is that your last word?

MRS. POPOV. My last.

SMIRNOV. Absolutely?

MRS. POPOV. Absolutely.

SMIRNOV. Thank you. We shan't forget it. [_He shrugs his shoulders._]
And then they expect me to stand for all that. The toll gatherer just
now met me in the road and asked, why are you always worrying, Grigorji
Stepanovitch? Why in heaven's name shouldn't I worry? I need money, I
feel the knife at my throat. Yesterday morning I left my house in the
early dawn and called on all my debtors. If even one of them had paid
his debt! I worked the skin off my fingers! The devil knows in what sort
of Jew-inn I slept, in a room with a barrel of brandy! And now at last I
come here, seventy versts from home, hope for a little money and all you
give me is moods. Why shouldn't I worry?

MRS. POPOV. I thought I made it plain to you that my manager will return
from town and then you will get your money?

SMIRNOV. I did not come to see the manager, I came to see you. What the
devil--pardon the language--do I care for your manager?

MRS. POPOV. Really, sir, I am neither used to such language nor such
manners. I shan't listen to you any further. [_She goes out left._]

SMIRNOV. What can one say to that? Moods! Seven months since her husband
died! And do I have to pay the interest or not? I repeat the question,
have I to pay the interest or not? Well yes, the husband is dead and all
that, the manager is--the devil with him--traveling somewhere. Now tell
me, what am I to do? Shall I run away from my creditors in a balloon? Or
push my head into a stone wall? If I call on Grusdev he chooses to be
"not at home," Iroschevitch has simply hidden himself, I have quarreled
with Kurzin until I came near throwing him out of the window, Masutov is
ill and this one in here has--moods! Not one of the crew will pay up!
And all because I've spoiled them all, because I'm an old whiner, an old
dish rag! I'm too tender hearted with them. But you wait! I'll show you!
I permit nobody to play tricks with me, the devil with 'em all! I'll
stay here and not budge from the spot until she pays! Brrr! How angry I
am, how terribly angry I am! Every tendon is trembling with anger and I
can hardly breathe--ah, I'm even growing ill. [_He calls out._] Servant!

    [_Luka enters._]

LUKA. What is it you wish?

SMIRNOV. Bring me Kvas or water! [_Luka goes out._] Well, what can we
do? She hasn't it on hand? What sort of logic is that? A fellow stands
with the knife at his throat, he needs money, he is just at the point of
hanging himself, and she won't pay because she isn't in the mood to
discuss money matters. See! Pure woman's logic. That's why I never liked
to talk to women and why I hate to do it now. I would rather sit on a
powder barrel than talk with a woman. Brr!--I'm getting cold as ice,
this affair has made me so angry. I only need to see such a romantic
creature from the distance to get so angry that I have cramps in the
calves? It's enough to make one yell for help!

    [_Enter Luka._]

LUKA [_hands him water_]. Madam is ill and is not receiving.

SMIRNOV. March! [_Luka goes out._] Ill and isn't receiving! All right,
it isn't necessary. I won't receive either. I'll sit here and stay until
you bring that money. If you're ill a week, I'll sit here a week. If
you're ill a year, I'll sit here a year. As heaven is a witness I'll get
my money. You don't disturb me with your mourning--or with your dimples.
We know these dimples! [_He calls out the window._] Simon, unharness. We
aren't going to leave right away. I am going to stay here. Tell them in
the stable to give the horses some oats. The left horse has twisted the
bridle again. [_Imitating him._] Stop. I'll show you how. Stop. [_Leaves
window._] It's awful. Unbearable heat, no money, didn't sleep well last
night and now mourning-dresses with moods. My head aches, perhaps I
ought to have a drink. Ye-s, I must have a drink. [_Calling._] Servant!

LUKA. What do you wish?

SMIRNOV. A little drink. [_Luka goes out. Smirnov sits down and looks at
his clothes._] Ugh, a fine figure! No use denying that. Dust, dirty
boots, unwashed, uncombed, straw on my vest--the lady probably took me
for a highwayman. [_He yawns._] It was a little impolite to come into a
reception room with such clothes. Oh well, no harm done. I'm not here as
guest. I'm a creditor. And there is no special costume for creditors.

LUKA [_entering with glass_]. You take a great deal of liberty, sir.

SMIRNOV [_angrily_]. What?

LUKA. I--I--I just--

SMIRNOV. Whom are you talking to? Keep quiet.

LUKA [_angrily_]. Nice mess! This fellow won't leave! [_He goes out._]

SMIRNOV. Lord, how angry I am! Angry enough to throw mud at the whole
world! I even feel ill--servant!

    [_Mrs. Popov comes in with downcast eyes._]

MRS. POPOV. Sir, in my solitude I have become unaccustomed to the human
voice and I cannot stand the sound of loud talking. I beg of you, please
to cease disturbing my quiet.

SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I'll leave.

MRS. POPOV. I told you once plainly in your native tongue that I haven't
the money on hand; wait until day after to-morrow.

SMIRNOV. And I also have the honor of informing you in your native
tongue that I need the money, not day after to-morrow, but to-day. If
you don't pay me to-day I shall have to hang myself to-morrow.

MRS. POPOV. But what can I do when I haven't the money? How strange!

SMIRNOV. So you are not going to pay immediately? You're not?

MRS. POPOV. I can't.

SMIRNOV. Then I'll sit here and stay until I get the money. [_He sits._]
You will pay day after to-morrow? Excellent! Here I stay until day after
to-morrow. [_Jumps up._] I ask you: do I have to pay that interest
to-morrow or not? Or do you think I'm joking?

MRS. POPOV. Sir, I beg of you, don't scream! This is not a stable.

SMIRNOV. I'm not asking you about a stable, I'm asking you whether I
have to pay that interest to-morrow or not?

MRS. POPOV. You have no idea how a lady should be treated.

SMIRNOV. Oh, yes, I know how to treat ladies.

MRS. POPOV. No, you don't. You are an ill-bred, vulgar
person--respectable people don't speak so with ladies.

SMIRNOV. Oh, how remarkable! How do you want one to speak with you? In
French perhaps. Madame, je vous prie--how fortunate I am that you won't
pay me my money! Pardon me for having disturbed you. What beautiful
weather we are having to-day. And how this mourning becomes you. [_He
makes an ironic bow._]

MRS. POPOV. Not at all funny--vulgar!

SMIRNOV [_imitating her_]. Not at all funny--vulgar. I don't understand
how to behave in the company of ladies. Madam, in the course of my life
I have seen more women than you have sparrows. Three times I have fought
duels over women, twelve women I threw over and nine threw me over.
There was a time when I played the fool, used honeyed language, bows and
scrapings. I loved, suffered, sighed to the moon, melted in love's
torments. I loved passionately, I loved to madness, in every key,
chattered like a magpie on emancipation, sacrificed half my fortune in
the tender passion until now the devil knows I've had enough of it. Your
obedient servant will let you lead him around by the nose no more.
Enough! Black eyes, passionate eyes, coral lips, dimples in cheeks,
moonlight whispers, soft, modest sighs,--for all that, madam, I wouldn't
pay a copper cent. I am not speaking of the present company but of women
in general; from the tiniest to the greatest, they are all conceited,
hypocritical, chattering, odious, deceitful from top to toe; vain,
petty, cruel with a maddening logic and [_he strikes his forehead_] in
this respect, please excuse my frankness, but one sparrow is worth ten
of the aforementioned petticoat-philosophers. When one sees one of the
romantic creatures before him he imagines that he is looking at some
holy being, so wonderful that its one breath could dissolve him in a sea
of a thousand charms and delights--but if one looks into the soul--it's
nothing but a common crocodile. [_He seizes the arm-chair and breaks it
in two._] But the worst of all is that this crocodile imagines that it
is a chef-d'oeuvre and that it has a monopoly on all the tender
passions. May the devil hang me upside down if there is anything to love
about a woman! When she is in love all she knows is how to complain and
shed tears. If the man suffers and makes sacrifices she trails her train
about and tries to lead him around by the nose. You have the misfortune
to be a woman and you naturally know woman's nature; tell me on your
honor, have you ever in your life seen a woman who was really true and
faithful? You never saw one. Only the old and the deformed are true and
faithful. It's easier to find a cat with horns or a white woodcock than
a faithful woman.

MRS. POPOV. But just allow me to ask, who is true and faithful in love?
The man, perhaps?

SMIRNOV. Yes, indeed! The man!

MRS. POPOV. The man! [_She laughs ironically._] The man is true and
faithful in love! Well, that is something new. [_She laughs bitterly._]
How can you make such a statement? Men true and faithful! As long as we
have gone as far as we have I may as well say that of all the men I have
known my husband was the best--I loved him passionately with all my
soul, as only a young, sensible woman may love, I gave him my youth, my
happiness, my fortune, my life. I worshiped him like a heathen. And what
happened? This best of all men betrayed me right and left in every
possible fashion. After his death I found his desk filled with a
collection of love letters. While he was alive he left me alone for
months--it is horrible to even think about it--he made love to other
women in my very presence, he wasted my money and made fun of my
feelings,--and in spite of all that I trusted him and was true to him.
And more than that, he is dead and I am still true to him. I have buried
myself within these four walls and I shall wear this mourning to my
grave.

SMIRNOV [_laughing disrespectfully_]. Mourning! What on earth do you
take me for? As if I didn't know why you wore this black domino and why
you buried yourself within these four walls. As if I didn't know! Such a
secret! So romantic! Some knight will pass the castle, will gaze up at
the windows and think to himself: "Here dwells the mysterious Tamara
who, for love of her husband, has buried herself within four walls." Oh,
I understand the art!

MRS. POPOV [_springing up_]. What? What do you mean by saying such
things to me?

SMIRNOV. You have buried yourself alive, but meanwhile you have not
forgotten to powder your nose!

MRS. POPOV. How dare you speak to me so?

SMIRNOV. Don't scream at me, please, I'm not the manager. Just let me
call things by their right names. I am not a woman and I am accustomed
to speak out what I think. So please don't scream.

MRS. POPOV. I'm not screaming. It is you who are doing the screaming.
Please leave me, I beg of you.

SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I'll leave.

MRS. POPOV. I won't give you the money.

SMIRNOV. You won't? You won't give me my money?

MRS. POPOV. I don't care what you do. You won't get a kopeck! Leave me
alone.

SMIRNOV. As I haven't the pleasure of being either your husband or your
fiancé please don't make a scene. [_He sits down._] I can't stand it.

MRS. POPOV [_breathing hard_]. You are going to sit down?

SMIRNOV. I already have.

MRS. POPOV. Kindly leave the house!

SMIRNOV. Give me the money.

MRS. POPOV. I don't care to speak with impudent men. Leave! [_Pause._]
You aren't going?

SMIRNOV. No.

MRS. POPOV. No?

SMIRNOV. No.

MRS. POPOV. Very well. [_She rings the bell._]

    [_Enter Luka._]

MRS. POPOV. Luka, show the gentleman out.

LUKA [_going to Smirnov_]. Sir, why don't you leave when you are
ordered? What do you want--

SMIRNOV [_jumping up_]. Whom do you think you are talking to? I'll grind
you to powder.

LUKA [_puts his hand to his heart_]. Good Lord! [_He drops into a
chair._] Oh, I'm ill, I can't breathe!

MRS. POPOV. Where is Dascha? [_Calling._] Dascha! Pelageja! Dascha!
[_She rings._]

LUKA. They're all gone! I'm ill. Water!

MRS. POPOV [_to Smirnov_]. Leave! Get out!

SMIRNOV. Kindly be a little more polite!

MRS. POPOV [_striking her fists and stamping her feet_]. You are vulgar!
You're a boor! A monster!

SMIRNOV. Wh--at did you say?

MRS. POPOV. I said you were a boor, a monster!

SMIRNOV [_steps toward her quickly_]. Permit me to ask what right you
have to insult me?

MRS. POPOV. Yes, I insult you. What of it? Do you think I am afraid of
you?

SMIRNOV. And you think that because you are a romantic creature that you
can insult me without being punished? I challenge you! Now you have it.

LUKA. Merciful heaven! Water!

SMIRNOV. We'll have a duel.

MRS. POPOV. Do you think because you have big fists and a steer's neck
that I am afraid of you?

SMIRNOV. That is the limit! I allow no one to insult me and I make no
exception because you are a woman, one of the "weaker sex"!

MRS. POPOV [_trying to cry him down_]. Boor, boor, boor!

SMIRNOV. It is high time to do away with the old superstition that it is
only a man who is forced to give satisfaction. If there is equity at all
let there be equity in all things. There's a limit!

MRS. POPOV. You wish to fight a duel? Very well.

SMIRNOV. Immediately.

MRS. POPOV. Immediately. My husband had pistols. I'll bring them. [_She
hurries away, then turns._] Oh, what a pleasure it will be to put a
bullet in your impudent head. The devil take you! [_She goes out._]

SMIRNOV. I'll shoot her down! I'm no fledgling, no sentimental, young
puppy. For me there is no weaker sex.

LUKA. Oh, sir. [_Falls to his knees._] Have mercy on me, an old man, and
go away. You have frightened me to death already and now you want to
fight a duel.

SMIRNOV [_paying no attention_]. A duel. That's equity, that's
emancipation. That way the sexes are made equal. I'll shoot her down as
a matter of principle. What can a person say to such a woman?
[_Imitating her._] "The devil take you. I'll put a bullet in your
impudent head." What can a person say to that? She was angry, her eyes
blazed, she accepted the challenge. On my honor it's the first time in
my life that I ever saw such a woman.

LUKA. Oh, sir. Go away. Go away from here.

SMIRNOV. That _is_ a woman. I can understand her. A real woman. No
shilly-shallying, but fire, powder, and noise! It would be a pity to
shoot a woman like that.

LUKA [_weeping_]. Oh, sir; go away.

    [_Enter Mrs. Popov._]

MRS. POPOV. Here are the pistols. But before we have our duel please
show me how to shoot. I have never had a pistol in my hand before!

LUKA. God be merciful and have pity upon us! I'll go and get the
gardener and the coachman. Why has this horror come to us! [_He goes
out._]

SMIRNOV [_looking at the pistols_]. You see there are different kinds of
pistols. There are special duelling pistols with cap and ball. But these
are revolvers, Smith & Wesson, with ejectors, fine pistols. A pair like
that cost at least ninety rubles. This is the way to hold a revolver.
[_Aside._] Those eyes, those eyes! A real woman!

MRS. POPOV. Like this?

SMIRNOV. Yes, that way. Then you pull the hammer back--so--then you
aim--put your head back a little--just stretch your arm out, please.
So--then press your finger on the thing like that, and that is all. The
chief thing is this: don't get excited, don't hurry your aim, and take
care that your hand doesn't tremble.

MRS. POPOV. It isn't as well to shoot inside, let's go into the garden.

SMIRNOV. Yes. I'll tell you now that I am going to shoot into the air.

MRS. POPOV. That is too much. Why?

SMIRNOV. Because--because--That's my business why.

MRS. POPOV. You are afraid. Yes. A-h-h-h. No, no, my dear sir, no
welching. Please follow me. I won't rest myself, until I've made a hole
in your head that I hate so much. Are you afraid?

SMIRNOV. Yes, I'm afraid.

MRS. POPOV. You are lying. Why won't you fight?

SMIRNOV. Because--because--I--like you.

MRS. POPOV [_with an angry laugh_]. You like me! He dares to say that he
likes me. [_She points to the door._] Go.

SMIRNOV [_laying the revolver silently on the table, takes his hat and
goes; at the door he stops a moment gazing at her silently, then he
approaches her undecidedly_]. Listen? Are you still angry? I was mad as
the devil, but please understand me--how can I express myself?--The
thing is like this--such things are--[_He raises his voice._] How is it
my fault that you owe me money? [_Grasps the chair back which breaks._]
The devil knows what breakable furniture you have! I like you! Do you
understand?--I--I'm almost in love!

MRS. POPOV. Leave. I hate you.

SMIRNOV. Lord! What a woman! I never in my life met one like her. I'm
lost, ruined! I've been caught like a mouse in a trap.

MRS. POPOV. Go, or I'll shoot.

SMIRNOV. Shoot! You have no idea what happiness it would be to die in
sight of those beautiful eyes, to die from the revolver in this little
velvet hand--I'm mad! Consider it and decide immediately for if I go
now; we shall never see each other again. Decide--speak--I am a noble, a
respectable man, have an income of ten thousand, can shoot a coin thrown
into the air--I own some fine horses. Will you be my wife?

MRS. POPOV [_swings the revolver angrily_]. Shoot!

SMIRNOV. My mind is not clear--I can't understand--servant--water! I
have fallen in love like any young man. [_He takes her hand and she
cries with pain._] I love you! [_He kneels._] I love you as I have never
loved before. Twelve women, I threw over, nine were untrue to me, but
not one of them all have I loved as I love you. I am conquered, lost, I
lie at your feet like a fool and beg for your hand. Shame and disgrace!
For five years I haven't been in love, I thanked the Lord for it and now
I am caught, like a carriage tongue in another carriage. I beg for your
hand! Yes or no? Will you?--Good! [_He gets up and goes to the door
quickly._]

MRS. POPOV. Wait a moment--

SMIRNOV [_stopping_]. Well?

MRS. POPOV. Nothing. You may go. But--wait a moment. No, go on, go on. I
hate you. Or no. Don't go. Oh, if you knew how angry I was, how angry!
[_She throws the revolver onto the chair._] My finger is swollen from
this thing. [_She angrily tears her handkerchief._] What are you
standing there for? Get out!

SMIRNOV. Farewell!

MRS. POPOV. Yes, go. [_Cries out._] What are you going for? Wait--no,
go!! Oh, how angry I am! Don't come too near, don't come too
near--er--come--no nearer.

SMIRNOV [_approaching her_]. How angry I am with myself. Fallen in love
like a school-boy, thrown myself on my knees. I've got a chill!
[_Strongly._] I love you. This is fine,--all I needed was to fall in
love. To-morrow I have to pay my interest, the hay harvest has begun and
then you appear. [_He takes her in his arms._] I can never forgive
myself.

MRS. POPOV. Go away! Take your hands off me! I hate you--you--this
is--[_A long kiss._]

    [_Enter Luka with an ax, the gardener with a rake, the coachman
    with a pitch-fork, workmen with poles._]

LUKA [_staring at the pair_]. Merciful Heavens! [_A long pause._]

MRS. POPOV [_dropping her eyes_]. Tell them in the stable that Tobby
isn't to have any oats.


  [_Curtain._]




HIS WIDOW'S HUSBAND

  A COMEDY

  BY JACINTO BENEVENTE
  TRANSLATED BY JOHN GARRETT UNDERHILL.


  Copyright, 1917, by John Garrett Underhill.
  All rights reserved.


  First presented at the Teatro Principe Alfonso, Madrid, on the evening
  of the nineteenth of October, 1908.

  CHARACTERS

    CAROLINA.
    EUDOSIA.
    PAQUITA.
    FLORENCIO.
    CASALONGA.
    ZURITA.
    VALDIVIESO.

  THE SCENE _is laid in a provincial capital_.


  Reprinted from "Plays: First Series," by permission of, and special
  arrangements with, Mr. John Garrett Underhill and Charles Scribner's
  Sons. Applications for permission to produce HIS WIDOW'S HUSBAND
  should be addressed to the Society of Spanish Authors, 20 Nassau
  Street, New York.



HIS WIDOW'S HUSBAND

A COMEDY BY JACINTO BENEVENTE


    [_Carolina is seated as Zurita enters._]

ZURITA. My friend!

CAROLINA. My good Zurita, it is so thoughtful of you to come so
promptly! I shall never be able to repay all your kindness.

ZURITA. I am always delighted to be of service to a friend.

CAROLINA. I asked them to look for you everywhere. Pardon the
inconvenience, but the emergency was extreme. I am in a terrible
position; all the tact in the world can never extricate me from one of
those embarrassing predicaments--unless you assist me by your advice.

ZURITA. Count upon my advice; count upon me in anything. However, I
cannot believe that you are really in an embarrassing predicament.

CAROLINA. But I am, my friend; and you are the only one who can advise
me. You are a person of taste; your articles and society column are the
standard of good form with us. Everybody accepts and respects your
decisions.

ZURITA. Not invariably, I am sorry to say--especially now that I have
taken up the suppression of the hips, which are fatal to the success of
any _toilette_. Society was formerly very select in this city, but it is
no longer the same, as you no doubt have occasion to know. Too many
fortunes have been improvised, too many aristocratic families have
descended in the scale. There has been a great change in society. The
_parvenus_ dominate--and money is so insolent! People who have it
imagine that other things can be improvised--as education, for example,
manners, good taste. Surely you must realize that such things cannot be
improvised. Distinction is a hothouse plant. We grow too few gardenias
nowadays--like you, my friend. On the other hand, we have an abundance
of sow-thistles. Not that I am referring to the Nuñez family.... How do
you suppose those ladies enliven their Wednesday evenings? With a
gramophone, my friend, with a gramophone--just like any vulgar café;
although I must confess that it is an improvement upon the days when the
youngest sang, the middle one recited, and all played together.
Nevertheless it is horrible. You can imagine my distress.

CAROLINA. You know, of course, that I never take part in their
Wednesdays. I never call unless I am sure they are not at home.

ZURITA. But that is no longer a protection; they leave the gramophone.
And the maid invites you to wait and entertain yourself with the
_Mochuelo_. What is a man to do? It is impossible to resent the records
upon the maid. But we are wandering from the subject. You excite my
curiosity.

CAROLINA. You know that to-morrow is the day of the unveiling of the
statue of my husband, of my previous husband--

ZURITA. A fitting honor to the memory of that great, that illustrious
man. This province owes him much, and so does all Spain. We who enjoyed
the privilege of calling ourselves his friends, should be delighted to
see justice done to his deserts at last, here where political jealousies
and intrigues have always belittled the achievements of our eminent men.
But Don Patricio Molinete could have no enemies. To-morrow will atone
for much of the pettiness of the past.

CAROLINA. No doubt. I feel I ought to be proud and happy, although you
understand the delicacy of my position. Now that I have married again,
my name is not the same. Yet it is impossible to ignore the fact that
once it was mine, especially as everybody knows that we were a model
couple. I might perhaps have avoided the situation by leaving town for
a few days on account of my health, but then that might have been
misinterpreted. People might have thought that I was displeased, or that
I declined to participate.

ZURITA. Assuredly. Although your name is no longer the same, owing to
circumstances, the force of which we appreciate, that is no reason why
you should be deprived of the honor of having borne it worthily at the
time. Your present husband has no right to take offense.

CAROLINA. No, poor Florencio! In fact, he was the first to realize that
I ought to take a leading part in the rejoicing. Poor Florencio was
always poor Patricio's greatest admirer. Their political ideas were the
same; they agreed in everything.

ZURITA. Apparently.

CAROLINA. As I have reason to know. Poor Patricio loved me dearly;
perhaps that was what led poor Florencio to imagine that there was
something in me to justify the affection of that great-hearted and
intellectual man. It was enough for me to know that Florencio was
Patricio's most intimate friend in order to form my opinion of him. Of
course, I recognize that Florencio's gifts will never enable him to
shine so brilliantly, but that is not to say that he is wanting in
ability. He lacks ambition, that is all. All his desires are satisfied
at home with me, at his own fireside. And I am as well pleased to have
it so. I am not ambitious myself. The seasons which I spent with my
husband in Madrid were a source of great uneasiness to me. I passed the
week during which he was Minister of Agriculture in one continual state
of anxiety. Twice he nearly had a duel--over some political question. I
did not know which way to turn. If he had ever become Prime Minister, as
was actually predicted by a newspaper which he controlled, I should have
been obliged to take to my bed for the week.

ZURITA. You are not like our senator's wife, Señora Espinosa, nor the
wife of our present mayor. They will never rest, nor allow others to do
so, until they see their husbands erected in marble.

CAROLINA. Do you think that either Espinosa or the mayor are of a
caliber to deserve statues?

ZURITA. Not publicly, perhaps. In a private chapel, in the class of
martyrs and husbands, it might not be inappropriate. But I am growing
impatient.

CAROLINA. As you say, friend Zurita, it might seem marked for me to
leave the city. Yet if I remain I must attend the unveiling of the
monument to my poor Patricio; I must be present at the memorial
exercises to-night in his honor; I must receive the delegations from
Madrid and the other cities, as well as the committees from the rest of
the province. But what attitude ought I to assume? If I seem too sad,
nobody will believe that my feeling is sincere. On the other hand, it
would not be proper to appear altogether reconciled. Then people would
think that I had forgotten too quickly. In fact, they think so already.

ZURITA. Oh, no! You were very young when you became a widow. Life was
just beginning for you.

CAROLINA. It is a delicate matter, however, to explain to my
sisters-in-law. Tell me, what ought I to wear? Anything severe, an
attempt at mourning, would be ridiculous, since I am going with my
husband; on the other hand, I should not like to suggest a festive
spirit. What do you think, friend Zurita? Give me your advice. What
would you wear?

ZURITA. It is hard to say; the problem is difficult. Something rich and
black, perhaps, relieved by a note of violet. The unveiling of a
monument to perpetuate the memory of a great man is not an occasion for
mourning. Your husband is partaking already of the joys of immortality,
in which no doubt, he anticipates you.

CAROLINA. Thank you so much.

ZURITA. Do not thank me. You have done enough. You have been faithful to
his memory. You have married again, but you have married a man who was
your husband's most intimate friend. You have not acted like other
widows of my acquaintance--Señora Benitez, for example. She has been
living for two years with the deadliest enemy her husband had in the
province, without any pretense at getting married--which in her case
would have been preposterous.

CAROLINA. There is no comparison.

ZURITA. No, my friend; everybody sympathizes with your position, as they
ought.

CAROLINA. The only ones who worry me are my sisters-in-law. They insist
that my position is ridiculous, and that of my husband still more so.
They do not see how we can have the effrontery to present ourselves
before the statue.

ZURITA. Señora, I should not hesitate though it were that of the
Commander. Your sisters-in-law exaggerate. Your present husband is the
only one you have to consider.

CAROLINA. I have no misgivings upon that score. I know that both will
appreciate that my feelings are sincere, one in this world, and the
other from the next. As for the rest, the rest--

ZURITA. The rest are your friends and your second husband's friends, as
we were of the first. We shall all take your part. The others you can
afford to neglect.

CAROLINA. Thanks for those words of comfort. I knew that you were a good
friend of ours, as you were also of his.

ZURITA. A friend to both, to all three; _si, señora_, to all three. But
here is your husband.

    [_Don Florencio enters._]

ZURITA. Don Florencio! My friend!

FLORENCIO. My dear Zurita! I am delighted to see you! I wish to thank
you for that charming article in memory of our never-to-be-forgotten
friend. It was good of you, and I appreciate it. You have certainly
proved yourself an excellent friend of his. Thanks, my dear Zurita,
thanks! Carolina and I are both indebted to you for your charming
article. It brought tears to our eyes. Am I right, Carolina?

CAROLINA. We were tremendously affected by it.

FLORENCIO. Friend Zurita, I am deeply gratified. For the first time in
the history of the province, all parties have united to do honor to this
region's most eminent son. But have you seen the monument? It is a work
of art. The statue is a perfect likeness--it is the man, the man
himself! The allegorical features are wonderfully artistic--Commerce,
Industry, and Truth taken altogether in the nude. Nothing finer could be
wished. You can imagine the trouble, however, we had with the nudes. The
conservative element opposed the nudes, but the sculptor declined to
proceed if the nudes were suppressed. In the end we won a decisive
victory for Art.

CAROLINA. Do you know, I think it would have been just as well not to
have had any nudes? What was the use of offending anybody? Several of
our friends are going to remain away from the ceremonies upon that
account.

FLORENCIO. How ridiculous! That only shows how far we are behind the
times. You certainly have no feeling of that sort after having been the
companion of that great, that liberal man. I remember the trip we took
to Italy together--you surely recollect it, Carolina. I never saw a man
so struck with admiration at those marvelous monuments of pagan and
Renaissance art. Oh, what a man! What a wonderful man! He was an artist.
Ah! Before I forget it, Carolina, Gutiérrez asked me for any pictures
you have for the special edition of his paper, and I should like to have
him publish the verses which he wrote you when you were first engaged.
Did you ever see those verses? That man might have been a poet--he might
have been anything else for that matter. Talk about letters! I wish you
could see his letters. Carolina, let us see some of those letters he
wrote you when you were engaged.

CAROLINA. Not now. That is hardly the time....

FLORENCIO. Naturally. In spite of the satisfaction which we feel, these
are trying days for us. We are united by our memories. I fear I shall
never be able to control myself at the unveiling of the statue.

CAROLINA. Florencio, for heaven's sake, you must! You must control
yourself.

ZURITA. Yes, do control yourself. You must.

FLORENCIO. I am controlling myself.

ZURITA. If there is nothing further that I can do....

CAROLINA. No, thank you, Zurita. I am awfully obliged to you. Now that I
know what I am to wear, the situation does not seem half so
embarrassing.

ZURITA. I understand. A woman's position is never so embarrassing as
when she is hesitating as to what to put on.

CAROLINA. Until to-morrow then?

ZURITA. Don Florencio!

FLORENCIO. Thank you again for your charming article. It was admirable!
Admirable!

    [_Zurita retires._]

FLORENCIO. I see that you feel it deeply! you are touched. So am I. It
is foolish to attempt to conceal it.

CAROLINA. I don't know how to express it, but--I am upset.

FLORENCIO. Don't forget the pictures, however, especially the one where
the three of us were taken together on the second platform of the Eiffel
tower. It was particularly good.

CAROLINA. Yes, something out of the ordinary. Don't you think, perhaps,
that our private affairs, our family life.... How do we know whether at
this time, in our situation....

FLORENCIO. What are you afraid of? That is the woman of it. How
narrow-minded! You ought to be above such pettiness after having been
the wife of such an intelligent man. Every detail of the private life of
the great has its interest for history. Those of us who knew him, who in
a certain sense were his colaborers--you will not accuse me of
immodesty--his colaborers in the great work of his life, owe it to
history to see that the truth be known.

CAROLINA. Nevertheless I hardly think I would print those letters--much
less the verses. Do you remember what they said?

FLORENCIO. Of course, I remember:

  "Like a moth on a pin I preserve all your kisses!..."

Everybody makes allowances for poetry. Nobody is going to take seriously
what he reads in a poem. He married you anyway. Why should any one
object?

CAROLINA. Stop, Florencio! What are you talking about? We are making
ourselves ridiculous.

FLORENCIO. Why should we make ourselves ridiculous? Although I shall
certainly stand by you, whatever you decide, if for no other reason than
that I am your husband, his widow's husband. Otherwise people might
think that I wanted you to forget, that I was jealous of his memory; and
you know that is not the case. You know how I admired him, how I loved
him--just as he did me. Nobody could get along with him as well as I
could; he was not easy to get along with, I do not need to tell you
that. He had his peculiarities--they were the peculiarities of a great
man--but they were great peculiarities. Like all great men, he had an
exaggerated opinion of himself. He was horribly stubborn, like all
strong characters. Whenever he got on one of his hobbies no power on
earth could pry him off of it. It is only out of respect that I do not
say he was pig-headed. I was the only one who had the tact and the
patience to do anything with him; you know that well enough. How often
you said to me: "Oh, Florencio! I can't stand it any longer!" And then I
would reason with you and talk to him, and every time that you had a
quarrel I was the one who consoled you afterward.

CAROLINA. Florencio, you are perfectly disgusting! You have no right to
talk like this.

FLORENCIO. Very well then, my dear. I understand how you feel. This is a
time when everybody is dwelling on his virtues, his good qualities, but
I want you to remember that that great man had also his faults.

CAROLINA. You don't know what you are talking about.

FLORENCIO. Compare me with him--

CAROLINA. Florencio? You know that in my mind there has never been any
comparison. Comparisons are odious.

FLORENCIO. Not necessarily. But of course you have not! You have never
regretted giving up his distinguished name, have you, Carolina, for this
humble one of mine? Only I want you to understand that if I had desired
to shine, if I had been ambitious.... I have talent myself. Now admit
it!

CAROLINA. Of course I do, my dear, of course! But what is the use of
talking nonsense?

FLORENCIO. What is the matter with you, anyway? You are nervous to-day.
It is impossible to conduct a sensible conversation.--Hello! Your
sisters-in-law! I am not at home.

CAROLINA. Don't excite yourself. They never ask for you.

FLORENCIO. I am delighted!... Well, I wish you a short session and
escape.

CAROLINA. I am in a fine humor for this sort of thing myself.

    [_Florencio goes out. Eudosia and Paquita enter._]

EUDOSIA. I trust that we do not intrude?

CAROLINA. How can you ask? Come right in.

EUDOSIA. It seems we find you at home for once.

CAROLINA. So it seems.

PAQUITA. Strange to say, whenever we call you always appear to be out.

CAROLINA. A coincidence.

EUDOSIA. The coincidence is to find you at home. [_A pause._] We passed
your husband on the street.

CAROLINA. Are you sure that you would recognize him?

PAQUITA. Oh! he was not alone.

CAROLINA. Is that so?

EUDOSIA. Paquita saw him with Somolino's wife, at Sanchez the
confectioner's.

CAROLINA. Very possibly.

PAQUITA. I should not make light of it, if I were you. You know what
Somolino's wife is, to say nothing of Sanchez the confectioner.

CAROLINA. I didn't know about the confectioner.

EUDOSIA. No respectable woman, no woman who even pretends to be
respectable, would set foot in his shop since he married that French
girl.

CAROLINA. I didn't know about the French girl.

EUDOSIA. Yes, he married her--I say married her to avoid using another
term. He married her in Bayonne--if you call such a thing
marriage--civilly, which is the way French people marry. It is a land of
perdition.

CAROLINA. I am very sorry to hear it because I am awfully fond of
sweetmeats. I adore _bonbons_ and _marrons glacés_, and nobody here has
as good ones as Sanchez, nor anywhere else for that matter.

PAQUITA. In that case you had as well deny yourself, unless you are
prepared to invite criticism. Somolino's wife is the only woman who
enters the shop and faces the French girl, who gave her a receipt for
dyeing her hair on the spot. You must have noticed how she is doing it
now.

CAROLINA. I hadn't noticed.

EUDOSIA. It is not jet-black any more; it is baby-pink--so she is having
the Frenchwoman manicure her nails twice a week. Have you noticed the
condition of her nails? They are the talk of the town.

    [_A pause._]

PAQUITA. Well, I trust he is satisfied.

CAROLINA. Who is he?

PAQUITA. I do not call him your husband. Oh, our poor, dear brother!

CAROLINA. I have not the slightest idea what you are talking about.

EUDOSIA. So he has had his way at last and desecrated the statue of our
poor brother with the figures of those naked women?

PAQUITA. As large as life.

CAROLINA. But Florencio is not responsible. It was the sculptor and the
committee. I cannot see anything objectionable in them myself. There are
such figures on all monuments. They are allegorical.

EUDOSIA. I could understand, perhaps, why the statue of Truth should be
unclothed. Something of the sort was always expected of Truth. But I
must say that Commerce and Industry might have had a tunic at least.
Commerce, in my opinion, is particularly indecent.

PAQUITA. We have declined the seats which were reserved for us. They
were directly in front and you could see everything.

EUDOSIA. I suppose you still intend to be present? What a pity that
there is nobody to give you proper advice!

CAROLINA. As I have been invited, I judge that I shall be welcome as I
am.

PAQUITA. Possibly--if it were good form for you to appear at all. But
when you exhibit yourself with that man--who was his best friend--after
only three short years!

CAROLINA. Three long years.

EUDOSIA. No doubt they seemed long to you. Three years, did I say? They
were like days to us who still keep his memory green!

PAQUITA. Who still bear his name, because no other name sounds so noble
in our ears.

EUDOSIA. Rather than change it, we have declined very flattering
proposals.

CAROLINA. I am afraid that you have made a mistake. You remember that
your brother was very anxious to see you married.

PAQUITA. He imagined that all men were like him, and deserved wives like
us, our poor, dear brother! Who would ever have dreamed he could have
been forgotten so soon? Fancy his emotions as he looks down on you from
the skies.

CAROLINA. I do not believe for one moment that he has any regrets. If he
had, then what would be the use of being in paradise? Don't you worry
about me. The best thing that a young widow can do is marry at once. I
was a very young widow.

EUDOSIA. You were twenty-nine.

CAROLINA. Twenty-six.

EUDOSIA. We concede you twenty-six. At all events, you were not a
child--not to speak of the fact that no widow can be said to be a child.

CAROLINA. No more than a single woman can be said to be old. However, I
fail to see that there would be any impropriety in my being present at
the unveiling of the statue.

EUDOSIA. Do you realize that the premature death of your husband will be
the subject of all the speakers? They will dwell on the bereavement
which we have suffered through the loss of such an eminent man. How do
you propose to take it? When people see you standing there, complacent
and satisfied, alongside of that man, do you suppose they will ever
believe that you are not reconciled?

PAQUITA. What will your husband do while they are extolling the genius
of our brother, and he knows that he never had any?

CAROLINA. That was not your brother's opinion. He thought very highly of
Florencio.

EUDOSIA. Very highly. Our poor, dear brother! Among his other abilities
he certainly had an extraordinary aptitude for allowing himself to be
deceived.

CAROLINA. That assumption is offensive to me; it is unfair to all of us.

EUDOSIA. I hope you brought it with you, Paquita?

PAQUITA. Yes; here it is.

    [_Taking out a book._]

EUDOSIA. Just look through this book if you have a moment. It arrived
to-day from Madrid and is on sale at Valdivieso's. Just glance through
it.

CAROLINA. What is the book? [_Reading the title upon the cover._] "Don
Patricio Molinete, the Man and His Work. A Biography. Together with His
Correspondence and an Estimate of His Life." Why, thanks--

PAQUITA. No, do not thank us. Read, read what our poor brother has
written to the author of this book, who was one of his intimate friends.

CAROLINA. Recaredo Casalonga. Ah! I remember--a rascal we were obliged
to turn out of the house. Do you mean to say that scamp Casalonga has
any letters? Merely to hear the name makes me nervous.

EUDOSIA. But go on! Page two hundred and fourteen. Is that the page,
Paquita?

PAQUITA. It begins on page two hundred and fourteen, but before it
amounts to anything turn the page.

CAROLINA. Quick, quick! Let me see. What does he say? What are these
letters? What is this? He says that I.... But there is not a word of
truth in it. My husband could never have written this.

EUDOSIA. But there it is in cold type. You don't suppose they would dare
to print--

CAROLINA. But this is outrageous; this book is a libel. It invades the
private life--the most private part of it! It must be stopped.

EUDOSIA. It cannot be stopped. You will soon see whether or not it can
be stopped.

PAQUITA. Probably the edition is exhausted by this time.

CAROLINA. Is that so? We shall see! We shall see!--Florencio! Florencio!
Come quickly! Florencio!

EUDOSIA. Perhaps he has not yet returned.

PAQUITA. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

CAROLINA. Nonsense! He was never out of the house. You are two old
busybodies!

EUDOSIA. Carolina! You said that without thinking.

PAQUITA. I cannot believe my ears. Did you say busybody.

CAROLINA. That is exactly what I said. Now leave me alone. I can't stand
it. It is all your fault. You are insupportable!

EUDOSIA and PAQUITA. Carolina!

CAROLINA. Florencio! Florencio!

    [_Florencio enters._]

FLORENCIO. What is it, my dear? What is the matter? Ah! You? I am
delighted....

EUDOSIA. Yes, we! And we are leaving this house, where we have been
insulted--forever!

PAQUITA. Where we have been called busybodies!

EUDOSIA. Where we have been told that we were insupportable!

PAQUITA. And when people say such things you can imagine what they
think!

FLORENCIO. But Eudosia, Paquita.... I do not understand. As far as I am
concerned....

EUDOSIA. The person who is now your wife will make her explanations to
you.

PAQUITA. I never expected to be driven out of our brother's house like
this!

EUDOSIA. Our poor, dear brother!

FLORENCIO. But, Carolina--

CAROLINA. Let them go! Let them go! They are impossible.

PAQUITA. Did you hear that, Eudosia? We are impossible!

EUDOSIA. I heard it, Paquita. There is nothing left for us to hear in
this house.

CAROLINA. Yes there is! You are as impossible as all old maids.

EUDOSIA. There was something for us to hear after all! Come, Paquita.

PAQUITA. Come, Eudosia.

    [_They go out._]

FLORENCIO. What is this trouble between you and your sisters-in-law?

CAROLINA. There isn't any trouble. We were arguing, that was all. There
is nothing those women like so much as gossip, or making themselves
disagreeable in any way they can. Do you remember Casalonga?

FLORENCIO. Recaredo Casalonga? I should say I did remember him! That man
was a character, and strange to say, a profound philosopher with it all.
He was quite a humorist.

CAROLINA. Yes, he was. Well, this philosopher, this humorist, has
conceived the terribly humorous idea of publishing this book.

FLORENCIO. Let me see. "Don Patricio Molinete, the Man and His Work. A
Biography. Together with His Correspondence and an Estimate of His
Life." A capital idea! They were great friends, you know, although I
don't suppose that there can be anything particular in this book. What
could Casalonga tell us anyway?

CAROLINA. Us? Nothing. But go on, go on.

FLORENCIO. You don't say! Letters of Patricio's. Addressed to whom?

CAROLINA. To the author of the book, so it seems. Personal letters, they
are confidential. Go on, go on.

FLORENCIO. "Dear Friend: Life is sad. Perhaps you ask the cause of my
disillusionment. How is it that I have lost my faith in the future, in
the future of our unfortunate land?" I remember that time. He was
already ill. This letter was written after he had liver complaint and
took a dark view of everything. Ah! What a pity that great men should be
subject to such infirmities! Think of the intellect being made the slave
of the liver! We are but dust. "The future of this unfortunate land...."

CAROLINA. No, that doesn't amount to anything. Lower down, lower down.
Go on.

FLORENCIO. "Life is sad!"

CAROLINA. Are you beginning all over again?

FLORENCIO. No, he repeats himself. What is this? "I never loved but once
in my life; I never loved but one woman--my wife." He means you.

CAROLINA. Yes. Go on, go on.

FLORENCIO. "I never trusted but one friend, my friend Florencio." He
means me.

CAROLINA. Yes, yes; he means you. But go on, go on.

FLORENCIO. I wonder what he can be driving at. Ah! What does he say?
That you, that I....

CAROLINA. Go on, go on.

FLORENCIO. "This woman and this man, the two greatest, the two pure, the
two unselfish passions of my life, in whom my very being was
consumed--how can I bring myself to confess it? I hardly dare admit it
to myself! They are in love--they love each other madly--in
secret--perhaps without even suspecting themselves."

CAROLINA. What do you think of that?

FLORENCIO. Suspecting themselves.... "They are struggling to overcome
their guilty passion, but how long will they continue to struggle? Yet I
am sorry for them both. What ought I to do? I cannot sleep."

CAROLINA. What do you say?

FLORENCIO. Impossible! He never wrote such letters. Besides, if he did,
they ought never to have been published.

CAROLINA. But true or false, they have been published, and here they
are. Ah! But this is nothing! You ought to see what he says farther on.
He goes on communicating his observations, and there are some, to be
perfectly frank, which nobody could have made but himself.

FLORENCIO. You don't mean to tell me that you think these letters are
genuine?

CAROLINA. They might be for all we know. He gives dates and details.

FLORENCIO. And all the time we thought he suspected nothing!

CAROLINA. You do jump so at conclusions, Florencio. How could he
suspect? You know how careful we were about everything, no matter what
happened, so as not to hurt his feelings.

FLORENCIO. This only goes to show all the good that it did us.

CAROLINA. He could only suspect--that it was the truth; that we were
loving in silence.

FLORENCIO. Then perhaps you can explain to me what was the use of all
this silence? Don't you see that what he has done now is to go and blurt
the whole thing out to this rascal Casalonga?--an unscrupulous knave
whose only interest in the matter is to turn these confidences to his
own advantage! It is useless to attempt to defend it. Such foolishness
was unpardonable. I should never have believed it of my friend. If he
had any doubts about me--about us--why didn't he say so? Then we could
have been more careful, and have done something to ease his mind. But
this notion of running and telling the first person who happens
along.... What a position does it leave me in? In what light do we
appear at this time? Now, when everybody is paying respect to his
memory, and I have put myself to all this trouble in order to raise
money for this monument--what are people going to think when they read
these things?

CAROLINA. I always said that we would have trouble with that monument.

FLORENCIO. How shall I have the face to present myself to-morrow before
the monument?

CAROLINA. My sisters-in-law were right. We are going to be conspicuous.

FLORENCIO. Ah! But this must be stopped. I shall run at once to the
offices of the papers, to the judicial authorities, to the governor, to
all the booksellers. As for this Casalonga--Ah! I will settle with him!
Either he will retract and confess that these letters are forgeries from
beginning to end, or I will kill him! I will fight with him in earnest!

CAROLINA. Florencio! Don't forget yourself! You are going too far. You
don't mean a duel? To expose your life?

FLORENCIO. Don't you see that it is impossible to submit to such an
indignity? Where is this thing going to stop? Is nobody's private life
to be secure? And this goes deeper than the private life--it impugns the
sanctity of our intentions.

CAROLINA. No, Florencio!

FLORENCIO. Let me go!

CAROLINA. Florencio! Anything but a duel! No, no!

FLORENCIO. Ah! Either he will retract and withdraw the edition of this
libel or, should he refuse....

CAROLINA. Zurita!

FLORENCIO. My friend.... You are just in time!

    [_Zurita enters._]

ZURITA. Don Florencio.... Carolina.... Don't say a word! I know how you
feel.

FLORENCIO. Did you see it? Did you hear it? Is this a civilized country
in which we live?

CAROLINA. But surely he has not heard it already?

ZURITA. Yes, at the Club. Some one had the book; they were passing it
around....

FLORENCIO. At the Club?

ZURITA. Don't be alarmed. Everybody thinks it is blackmail--a case of
_chantage_. Don Patricio could never have written such letters.

FLORENCIO. Ah! So they think that?

ZURITA. Even if he had, they deal with private matters, which ought
never to have been made public.

FLORENCIO. Exactly my idea--with private matters; they are confidential.

ZURITA. I lost no time, as you may be sure, of hurrying to Valdivieso's
shop, where the books are on sale. I found him amazed; he was entirely
innocent. He bought the copies supposing that the subject was of timely
importance; that it was of a serious nature. He hurried at once to
withdraw the copies from the window, and ran in search of the author.

FLORENCIO. Of the author? Is the author in town?

ZURITA. Yes, he came with the books; he arrived with them this morning.

FLORENCIO. Ah! So this scamp Casalonga is here, is he? Tell me where I
can find him!

ZURITA. At the Hotel de Europa.

CAROLINA. Florencio! Don't you go! Hold him back! He means to challenge
him.

ZURITA. Never! It is not worth the trouble. Besides, you ought to hold
yourself above such things. Your wife is above them.

FLORENCIO. But what will people say, friend Zurita? What will people
say?

ZURITA. Everybody thinks it is a huge joke.

FLORENCIO. A joke? Then our position is ridiculous.

ZURITA. I did not say that. What I do say....

FLORENCIO. No, no, friend Zurita; you are a man of honor, you know that
it is necessary for me to kill this man.

CAROLINA. But suppose he is the one who kills you? No, Florencio, not a
duel! What is the use of the courts?

FLORENCIO. No, I prefer to fight. My dear Zurita, run in search of
another friend and stop at the Hotel de Europa as my representatives.
Seek out this man, exact reparation upon the spot--a reparation which
shall be resounding, complete. Either he declares over his own signature
that those letters are impudent forgeries or, should he refuse....

CAROLINA. Florencio!

FLORENCIO. Stop at nothing! Do not haggle over terms. Let it be pistols
with real bullets, as we pace forward each to each!

ZURITA. But, Don Florencio!

CAROLINA. Don't go, I beg of you! Don't leave the house!

FLORENCIO. You are my friend--go at once!

CAROLINA. No, he will never go!

ZURITA. But, Don Florencio! Consider.... The situation is serious.

FLORENCIO. When a man is made ridiculous the situation ceases to be
serious! How shall I have the face to show myself before the monument!
I--his most intimate friend! She, my wife, his widow! And everybody
thinking all the while of those letters, imagining that I, that she....
No, no! Run! Bring me that retraction at once.

ZURITA. Not so fast! I hear the voice of Valdivieso.

FLORENCIO. Eh? And Casalonga's! Has that man the audacity to present
himself in my house?

ZURITA. Be calm! Since he is here, perhaps he comes to explain. Let me
see--

    [_He goes out_.]

CAROLINA. Florencio! Don't you receive him! Don't you have anything to
do with that man!

FLORENCIO. I am in my own house. Never fear! I shall not forget to
conduct myself as a gentleman. Now we shall see how he explains the
matter; we shall see. But you had better retire first. Questions of
honor are not for women.

CAROLINA. You know best; only I think I might remain within earshot. I
am nervous. My dear!--Where are your arms?

FLORENCIO. What do I need of arms?

CAROLINA. Be careful just the same. Keep cool! Think of me.

FLORENCIO. I am in my own house. Have no fear.

CAROLINA. It upsets me dreadfully to see you in such a state.

FLORENCIO. What are you doing now?

CAROLINA. Removing these vases in case you should throw things. I should
hate awfully to lose them; they were a present.

FLORENCIO. Hurry, dear!

CAROLINA. I am horribly nervous. Keep cool, for heavens' sake! Control
yourself.

    [_Carolina goes out. Zurita reënters._]

ZURITA. Are you calmer now?

FLORENCIO. Absolutely. Is that man here?

ZURITA. Yes, Valdivieso brought him. He desires to explain.

FLORENCIO. Who? Valdivieso? Naturally. But that other fellow, that
Casalonga--what does he want?

ZURITA. To have a few words with you; to offer a thousand explanations.

FLORENCIO. No more than one explanation is possible.

ZURITA. Consider a moment. In my opinion it will be wiser to receive
him. He appears to be innocent.

FLORENCIO. Of the first instincts of a gentleman.

ZURITA. Exactly. I did not venture to put it so plainly. He attaches no
importance to the affair whatever.

FLORENCIO. Of course not! It is nothing to him.

ZURITA. Nothing. However, you will find him disposed to go to any
length--retract, make a denial, withdraw the book from circulation. You
had best have a few words with him. But first promise to control
yourself. Shall I ask them to come in?

FLORENCIO. Yes ... yes! Ask them to come in.

ZURITA. Poor Valdivieso is awfully put out. He always had such a high
opinion of you. You are one of the two or three persons in this town who
buy books. It would be a tremendous relief to him if you would only tell
him that you knew he was incapable....

FLORENCIO. Thoroughly! Poor Valdivieso! Ask him to come in; ask them
both to come in.

    [_Zurita retires and returns presently with Valdivieso and
    Casalonga._]

VALDIVIESO. Señor Don Florencio! I hardly know what to say. I am sure
that you will not question my good faith in the matter. I had no
idea ... in fact, I never suspected....

FLORENCIO. I always knew you were innocent! but this person....

CASALONGA. Come, come now! Don't blame it on me. How the devil was I to
know that you were here--and married to his widow! Sport for the gods!

FLORENCIO. Do you hear what he says?

ZURITA. I told you that he appeared to be innocent.

FLORENCIO. And I told you that he was devoid of the first instincts of a
gentleman; although I failed to realize to what an extent. Sir--

CASALONGA. Don't be absurd! Stop making faces at me.

FLORENCIO. In the first place, I don't recall that we were ever so
intimate.

CASALONGA. Of course we were! Of course! Anyhow, what difference does it
make? We were together for a whole season; we were inseparable. Hard
times those for us both! But what did we care? When one of us was out of
money, all he had to do was to ask the other, and be satisfied.

FLORENCIO. Yes; I seem to recall that the other was always I.

CASALONGA. Ha, ha, ha! That might be. Stranger things have happened. But
you are not angry with me, are you? The thing is not worth all this
fuss.

FLORENCIO. Do you hear what he says?

VALDIVIESO. You may be sure that if I had had the slightest idea.... I
bought the books so as to take advantage of the timeliness of the
monument. If I had ever suspected....

CASALONGA. Identically my position--to take advantage of the monument.
Life is hard. While the conservatives are in power, I am reduced to
extremities. I am at my wit's end to earn an honest penny.

FLORENCIO. I admire your colossal impudence. What are you going to do
with a man like this?

ZURITA. Exactly the question that occurred to me. What are you going to
do?

CASALONGA. For a time I was reduced to writing plays--like everybody
else--although mine were better. That was the reason they did not
succeed. Then I married my last landlady; I was obliged to settle with
her somehow. A little difference arose between us, so we agreed to
separate amicably after smashing all the furniture. However, that will
be of no interest to you.

FLORENCIO. No, no, it is of no interest to me.

CASALONGA. A novel, my boy! A veritable work of romance! I wandered all
over the country explaining views for the cinematograph. You know what a
gift I have for talk? Wherever I appeared the picture houses were
crowded--even to the exits. Then my voice gave out. I was obliged to
find some other outlet for my activities. I thought of my friends. You
know what friends are; as soon as a man needs them he hasn't any
friends. Which way was I to turn? I happened to hear that you were
unveiling a monument to the memory of friend Patricio. Poor Patricio!
That man was a friend! He could always be relied upon. It occurred to me
that I might write out a few pages of reminiscences--preferably
something personal--and publish any letters of his which I had chanced
to preserve.

FLORENCIO. What luck!

CASALONGA. Pshaw! Bread and butter--bread and butter, man! A mere
pittance. It occurred to me that they would sell better here than
anywhere else--this is where he lived. So I came this morning third
class--think of that, third class!--and hurried at once to this fellow's
shop. I placed two thousand copies with him, which he took from me at a
horrible discount. You know what these booksellers are....

VALDIVIESO. I call you to witness--what was customary under the
circumstances. He was selling for cash.

CASALONGA. Am I the man to deny it? You can divide mankind into two
classes--knaves and fools.

VALDIVIESO. Listen to this--

CASALONGA. You are not one of the fools.

VALDIVIESO. I protest! How am I to profit by the transaction? Do you
suppose that I shall sell a single copy of this libel now that I know
that it is offensive to my particular, my excellent friend, Don
Florencio, and to his respected wife?

FLORENCIO. Thanks, friend Valdivieso, thanks for that.

VALDIVIESO. I shall burn the edition, although you can imagine what that
will cost.

FLORENCIO. The loss will be mine. It will be at my expense.

CASALONGA. What did I tell you? Florencio will pay. What are you
complaining about?--If I were in your place, though, I'd be hanged if I
would give the man one penny.

VALDIVIESO. What? When you have collected spot cash?

CASALONGA. You don't call that collecting? Not at that discount. The
paper was worth more.

FLORENCIO. The impudence of the thing was worth more than the paper.

CASALONGA. Ha, ha, ha! Really, I cannot find it in my heart to be angry
with you. You are too clever! But what was I to do? I had to find some
outlet for my activities. Are you going to kill me?

FLORENCIO. I have made my arrangements. Do you suppose that I will
submit meekly to such an indignity? If you refuse to fight, I will hale
you before the courts.

CASALONGA. Drop that tragic tone. A duel? Between us? Over what? Because
the wife of a friend--who at the same time happens to be your wife--has
been intimate with you? Suppose it had been with some one else!

FLORENCIO. The supposition is improper.

CASALONGA. You are the first man I ever heard of who was offended
because it was said that he had been intimate with his wife. The thing
is preposterous. How are we ever going to fight over it?

ZURITA. I can see his point of view.

FLORENCIO. Patricio could never have written those letters, much less to
you.

CASALONGA. Talk as much as you like, the letters are genuine. Although
it may have been foolish of Patricio to have written them--that is a
debatable question. I published them so as to enliven the book. A little
harmless suggestion--people look for it; it adds spice. Aside from that,
what motive could I have had for dragging you into it?

FLORENCIO. I admire your frankness at least.

ZURITA. What do you propose to do with this man?

FLORENCIO. What do you propose?

CASALONGA. You know I was always fond of you. You are a man of ability.

FLORENCIO. Thanks.

CASALONGA. You have more ability than Patricio had. He was a worthy
soul, no doubt, but between us, who were in the secret, an utter
blockhead.

FLORENCIO. Hardly that.

CASALONGA. I need not tell you what reputations amount to in this
country. If he had had your brains, your transcendent ability....

FLORENCIO. How can I stop this man from talking?

CASALONGA. You have always been too modest in my opinion; you have
remained in the background in order to give him a chance to shine, to
attract attention. Everybody knows that his best speeches were written
by you.

FLORENCE. You have no right to betray my confidence.

CASALONGA. Yes, gentlemen, it is only just that you should know. The
real brains belonged to this man, he is the one who should have had the
statue. As a friend he is wonderful, unique!

FLORENCIO. How am I going to fight with this man?

CASALONGA. I will give out a statement at once--for public
consumption--declaring that the letters are forgeries--or whatever you
think best; as it appeals to you. Fix it up for yourself. It is of no
consequence anyhow. I am above this sort of thing. I should be sorry,
however, to see this fellow receive more than his due, which is two
_reals_ a copy, or what he paid me.

VALDIVIESO. I cannot permit you to meddle in my affairs. You are a rogue
and a cheat.

CASALONGA. A rogue and a cheat? In that case you are the one I will
fight with. You are no friend of mine. You are an exploiter of other
men's brains.

VALDIVIESO. You are willing to fight with me, are you--a respectable
man, the father of a family? After swindling me out of my money!

CASALONGA. Swindling? That is no language to use in this house.

VALDIVIESO. I use it where I like.

FLORENCIO. Gentlemen, gentlemen! This is my house, this is the house of
my wife!

ZURITA. Valdivieso!

CASALONGA [_to Florencio_]. I choose you for my second. And you too, my
friend--what is your name?

VALDIVIESO. But will you listen to him? Do you suppose that I will fight
with this rascal, with the first knave who happens along? I, the father
of a family?

CASALONGA. I cannot accept your explanation. My friends will confer with
yours and apprise us as to the details. Have everything ready for this
afternoon.

VALDIVIESO. Do you stand here and sanction this nonsense? You cannot
believe one word that he says. No doubt it would be convenient for you
to retire and use me as a Turk's head to receive all the blows, when you
are the one who ought to fight!

FLORENCIO. Friend Valdivieso, I cannot permit reflections upon my
conduct from you. After all, you need not have purchased the book, which
you did for money, knowing that it was improper, since it contained
matter which was offensive to me.

VALDIVIESO. Are you speaking in earnest?

FLORENCIO. I was never more in earnest in my life.

CASALONGA. Yes, sir, and it is high time for us all to realize that it
is in earnest. It was all your fault. Nobody buys without spending the
wares. It was your business to have pointed out to me the indiscretion I
was about to commit. [_To Florencio._] I am perfectly willing to
withdraw if you wish to fight him, to yield my place as the aggrieved
party to you. I should be delighted to act as one of your seconds, with
our good friend here--what is your name?

ZURITA. Zurita.

CASALONGA. My good friend Zurita.

VALDIVIESO. Am I losing my mind? This is a trap which you have set for
me, a despicable trap!

FLORENCIO. Friend Valdivieso, I cannot tolerate these reflections. I am
incapable of setting a trap.

ZURITA. Ah! And so am I! When you entered this house you were familiar
with its reputation.

CASALONGA. You have forgotten with whom you are speaking.

VALDIVIESO. Nonsense! This is too much. I wash my hands of the whole
business. Is this the spirit in which my advances are received? What I
will do now is sell the book--and if I can't sell it, I will give it
away! Everybody can read it then--and they can talk as much as they want
to. This is the end! I am through.

FLORENCIO. Wait? What was that? I warn you not to sell so much as one
copy?

ZURITA. I should be sorry if you did. Take care not to drag me into it.

CASALONGA. Nor me either.

VALDIVIESO. Enough! Do as you see fit--and I shall do the same. This is
the end--the absolute end! It is the finish!

    [_Rushes out._]

FLORENCIO. Stop him!

CASALONGA. It won't be necessary. I shall go to the shop and take back
the edition. Whatever you intended to pay him you can hand directly to
me. I am your friend; besides I need the money. This man shall not get
the best of me. Oh! By the way, what are you doing to-night? Have dinner
with me. I shall expect you at the hotel. Don't forget! If you don't
show up, I may drop in myself and have dinner with you.

FLORENCIO. No! What would my wife say? She has trouble enough.

CASALONGA. Nonsense! She knows me, and we should have a good laugh. Is
she as charming, as good-looking, as striking as ever? I am keen for
her. I don't need to ask whether she is happy. Poor Patricio was a
character! What a sight he was! What a figure! And age doubled him for
good measure. I'll look in on you later. It has been a rare pleasure
this time. There are few friends like you. Come, shake hands! I am
touched; you know how it is. See you later! If I don't come back, I have
killed my man and am in jail for it. Tell your wife. If I can help out
in any way.... Good-by, my friend--ah, yes! Zurita. I have a terrible
head to-day. See you later!

    [_Goes out._]

FLORENCIO. Did you ever see anything equal of it? I never did, and I
knew him of old. But he has made progress.

ZURITA. His assurance is fairly epic.

FLORENCIO. What are you going to do with a man who takes it like this?
You cannot kill him in cold blood--

    [_Carolina reënters._]

FLORENCIO. Ah! Carolina! Were you listening? You heard everything.

CAROLINA. Yes, and in spite of it I think he is fascinating.

FLORENCIO. Since Carolina feels that way it simplifies the situation.

ZURITA. Why not? She heard the compliments. The man is irresistible.

FLORENCIO. Carolina, it comes simply to this: nobody attaches any
importance to the matter. Only two or three copies have been sold.

CAROLINA. Yes, but one of them was to my sisters-in-law, which is the
same as if they had sold forty thousand. They will tell everybody.

FLORENCIO. They were doing it anyhow; there is no further cause for
worry.

CAROLINA. At all events, I shall not attend the unveiling to-morrow, and
you ought not to go either.

FLORENCIO. But, wife!

ZURITA. Ah! The unveiling.... I had forgotten to mention it.

CAROLINA. To mention what?

ZURITA. It has been postponed.

FLORENCIO. How?

ZURITA. The committee became nervous at the last moment over the
protests against the nudes. After seeing the photographs many ladies
declined to participate. At last the sculptor was convinced, and he has
consented to withdraw the statue of Truth altogether, and to put a tunic
upon Industry, while Commerce is to have a bathing-suit.

CAROLINA. That will be splendid!

ZURITA. All this, however, will require several days, and by that time
everything will have been forgotten.

    [_Casalonga reënters with the books. He is completely out of
    breath and drops them suddenly upon the floor, where they raise a
    tremendous cloud of dust._]

CAROLINA. _Ay!_

CASALONGA. I had you scared! At your service.... Here is the entire
edition. I returned him his thousand pesetas--I declined to make it
another penny. I told you that would be all that was necessary. I am a
man of my word. Now it is up to you. No more could be asked! I am your
friend and have said enough. I shall have to find some other outlet for
my activities. That will be all for to-day.

FLORENCIO. I will give you two thousand pesetas. But beware of a second
edition!

CASALONGA. Don't begin to worry so soon. With this money I shall have
enough to be decent at least--at least for two months. You know me,
señora. I am Florencio's most intimate friend, as I was Patricio's most
intimate friend, which is to say one of the most intimate friends you
ever had.

CAROLINA. Yes, I remember.

CASALONGA. But I have changed since that time.

FLORENCIO. Not a bit of it! He is just the same.

CASALONGA. Yes, the change is in you. You are the same, only you have
improved. [_To Carolina._] I am amazed at the opulence of your beauty,
which a fortunate marriage has greatly enhanced. Have you any children?

CAROLINA. No....

CASALONGA. You are going to have some.

FLORENCIO. Flatterer!

CASALONGA. But I must leave before night: there is nothing for me to do
here.

FLORENCIO. No, you have attended to everything. I shall send it after
you to the hotel.

CASALONGA. Add a little while you are about it to cover expenses--by way
of a finishing touch.

FLORENCIO. Oh, very well!

CASALONGA. That will be all. Señora, if I can be of service.... My good
Zurita! Friend Florencio! Before I die I hope to see you again.

FLORENCIO. Yes! Unless I die first.

CASALONGA. I know how you feel. You take the worst end for yourself.

FLORENCIO. Allow me that consolation.

CASALONGA. God be with you, my friend. Adios! Rest in peace. How
different are our fates! Life to you is sweet. You have
everything--love, riches, satisfaction. While I--I laugh through my
tears!

    [_Goes out._]

CAROLINA. That cost you money.

FLORENCIO. What else did you expect? I gave up to avoid a scandal upon
your account. I could see that you were nervous. I would have fought if
I could have had my way; I would have carried matters to the last
extreme. Zurita will tell you so.

CAROLINA. I always said that monument would cost us dear.

FLORENCIO. Obviously! Two thousand pesetas now, besides the twenty-five
thousand which I subscribed for the monument, to say nothing of my
uniform as Chief of Staff which I had ordered for the unveiling. Then
there are the banquets to the delegates....

ZURITA. Glory is always more expensive than it is worth.

FLORENCIO. It is not safe to be famous even at second hand.

CAROLINA. But you are not sorry?

FLORENCIO. No, my Carolina, the glory of being your husband far
outweighs in my eyes the disadvantages of being the husband of his
widow.


  [_Curtain._]




A SUNNY MORNING

  A COMEDY

  BY SERAFIN AND JOAQUIN ALVAREZ QUINTERO
  TRANSLATED FROM THE SPANISH BY LUCRETIA XAVIER FLOYD.


  Copyrighted, 1914, by Lucretia Xavier Floyd under the title of
  "A Morning of Sunshine."

  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    DOÑA LAURA.
    PETRA [_her maid_].
    DON GONZALO.
    JUANITO [_his servant_].

  TIME: _The Present_.


  Published by special arrangement with Mrs. Lucretia Xavier Floyd
  and Mr. John Garrett Underhill, the Society of Spanish Authors.
  Applications for permission to produce this play must be made to the
  Society of Spanish Authors, Room 62, 20 Nassau Street, New York.



A SUNNY MORNING

A COMEDY BY SERAFIN AND JOAQUIN ALVAREZ QUINTERO


    [_Scene laid in a retired part of a park in Madrid, Spain. A bench
    at right. Bright, sunny morning in autumn. Doña Laura, a handsome
    old lady of about 70, with white hair and of very refined
    appearance, although elderly, her bright eyes and entire manner
    prove her mental facilities are unimpaired. She enters accompanied
    by her maid Petra, upon whose arm she leans with one hand, while
    the other holds a parasol which she uses as a cane._]


DOÑA LAURA. I am so glad we have arrived. I feared my seat would be
occupied. What a beautiful morning!

PETRA. The sun is rather hot.

DOÑA LAURA. Yes, to you who are only 20 years old. [_She sits down on
the bench._] Oh, I feel more tired to-day than usual. [_Noticing Petra,
who seems impatient._] Go, if you wish to chat with your guard.

PETRA. He is not my guard, Señora; he belongs to the park.

DOÑA LAURA. He belongs more to you than to the park. Go seek him, but
remain within calling distance.

PETRA. I see him over there waiting for me.

DOÑA LAURA. Do not remain away more than ten minutes.

PETRA. Very well, Señora. [_Walks toward right, but is detained._]

DOÑA LAURA. Wait a moment.

PETRA. What does the Señora wish?

DOÑA LAURA. You are carrying away the bread crumbs.

PETRA. Very true. I don't know where my head is.

DOÑA LAURA [_smiling_]. I do. It is where your heart is--with your
guard.

PETRA. Here, Señora. [_She hands Doña Laura a small bag. Exit Petra._]

DOÑA LAURA. Adios. [_Glancing toward trees._] Here come the rogues. They
know just when to expect me. [_She rises, walks toward right, throws
three handfuls of bread crumbs._] These are for the most daring, these
for the gluttons, and these for the little ones which are the biggest
rogues. Ha, ha. [_She returns to her seat and watches with a pleased
expression, the pigeons feeding._] There, that big one is always the
first. That little fellow is the least timid. I believe he would eat
from my hand. That one takes his piece and flies to that branch. He is a
philosopher. But from where do they all come? It seems as if the news
had been carried. Ha, ha. Don't quarrel. There is enough for all.
To-morrow I'll bring more.

    [_Enter Don Gonzalo and Juanito. Don Gonzalo is an old gentleman
    over 70, gouty and impatient. He leans upon Juanito's arm and
    drags his feet along as he walks. He displays ill temper._]

DON GONZALO. Idling their time away. They should be saying Mass.

JUANITO. You can sit here, Señor. There is only a lady.

    [_Doña Laura turns her head and listens to the dialogue._]

DON GONZALO. I won't, Juanito. I want a bench to myself.

JUANITO. But there is none.

DON GONZALO. But that one over there is mine.

JUANITO. But there are three priests sitting there.

DON GONZALO. Let them get up. Have they gone, Juanito?

JUANITO. No, indeed. They are in animated conversation.

DON GONZALO. Just as if they were glued to the seat. No hope of their
leaving. Come this way, Juanito. [_They walk toward birds._]

DOÑA LAURA [_indignantly_]. Look out!

DON GONZALO [_turning his head_]. Are you talking to me, Señora?

DOÑA LAURA. Yes, to you.

DON GONZALO. What do you wish?

DOÑA LAURA. You have scared away the birds who were feeding on bread
crumbs.

DON GONZALO. What do I care about the birds.

DOÑA LAURA. But I do.

DON GONZALO. This is a public park.

DOÑA LAURA. Then why do you complain that the priests have taken your
bench?

DON GONZALO. Señora, we have not been introduced to each other. I do not
know why you take the liberty of addressing me. Come, Juanito. [_Both
exit._]

DOÑA LAURA. What an ill-natured old man. Why must some people get so
fussy and cross when they reach a certain age? I am glad. He lost that
bench, too. Serves him right for scaring the birds. He is furious. Yes,
yes; find a seat if you can. Poor fellow! He is wiping the perspiration
from his face. Here he comes. A carriage would not raise more dust than
he does with his feet.

    [_Enter Don Gonzalo and Juanito._]

DON GONZALO. Have the priests gone yet, Juanito?

JUANITO. No, indeed, Señor. They are still there.

DON GONZALO. The authorities should place more benches here for these
sunny mornings. Well, I suppose I must resign myself and sit on the same
bench with the old lady. [_Muttering to himself, he sits at the extreme
end of Doña Laura's bench and looks at her indignantly. Touches his hat
as he greets her._] Good morning.

DOÑA LAURA. What, you here again?

DON GONZALO. I repeat that we have not been introduced.

DOÑA LAURA. I am responding to your greeting.

DON GONZALO. Good morning should be answered by good morning, and that
is what you should have said.

DOÑA LAURA. And you should have asked permission to sit on this bench
which is mine.

DON GONZALO. The benches here are public property.

DOÑA LAURA. Why, you said the one the priests occupied was yours.

DON GONZALO. Very well, very well. I have nothing more to say. [_Between
his teeth_.] Doting old woman. She should be at home with her knitting
and counting her beads.

DOÑA LAURA. Don't grumble any more. I'm not going to leave here just to
please you.

DON GONZALO [_brushing the dust from his shoes with his handkerchief_].
If the grounds were sprinkled more freely it would be an improvement.

DOÑA LAURA. What an idea, to brush your shoes with your handkerchief.

DON GONZALO. What?

DOÑA LAURA. Do you use a shoe brush as a handkerchief?

DON GONZALO. By what right do you criticize my actions?

DOÑA LAURA. By the rights of a neighbor.

DON GONZALO. Juanito, give me my book. I do not care to hear any more
nonsense.

DOÑA LAURA. You are very polite.

DON GONZALO. Pardon me, Señora, but if you did not interfere with what
does not concern you.

DOÑA LAURA. I generally say what I think.

DON GONZALO. And say more than you should. Give me the book, Juanito.

JUANITO. Here it is, Señor. [_Juanito takes book from pocket, hands it
to Don Gonzalo; then exits._]

    [_Don Gonzalo, casting indignant glances at Doña Laura, puts on an
    enormous pair of glasses, takes from his pocket a reading-glass,
    adjusts both to suit him, opens his book._]

DOÑA LAURA. I thought you were going to take out a telescope now.

DON GONZALO. What, again?

DOÑA LAURA. Your sight must be fine.

DON GONZALO. Many times better than yours.

DOÑA LAURA. Yes, it is very evident.

DON GONZALO. Many hares and partridges could bear testimony to my words.

DOÑA LAURA. Do you hunt?

DON GONZALO. I did, and even now--

DOÑA LAURA. Oh, yes, of course.

DON GONZALO. Yes, Señora. Every Sunday I take my gun and dog, you
understand, and go to one of my properties near Aravaca, just to kill
time.

DOÑA LAURA. Yes, to kill time. That is all you can kill.

DON GONZALO. Do you think so? I could show you a wild boar's head in my
study--

DOÑA LAURA. Yes, and I could show you a tiger's skin in my boudoir. What
an argument!

DON GONZALO. Very well, Señora, please allow me to read. I do not feel
like having more conversation.

DOÑA LAURA. Well, keep quiet then.

DON GONZALO. But first I shall take a pinch of snuff. [_Takes out snuff
box._] Will you have some? [_Offers box to Doña Laura._]

DOÑA LAURA. If it is good?

DON GONZALO. It is of the finest. You will like it.

DOÑA LAURA [_taking pinch of snuff_]. It clears my head.

DON GONZALO. And mine.

DOÑA LAURA. Do you sneeze?

DON GONZALO. Yes, Señora, three times.

DOÑA LAURA. And so do I. What a coincidence!

    [_After taking the snuff, they await the sneezes, making grimaces,
    and then sneeze alternately three times each._]

DON GONZALO. There, I feel better.

DOÑA LAURA. So do I. [_Aside._] The snuff has made peace between us.

DON GONZALO. You will excuse me if I read aloud?

DOÑA LAURA. Read as you please; you will not disturb me.

DON GONZALO [_reading_]. "All love is sad, but sad and all, it is the
best thing that exists." That is from Campoamor.

DOÑA LAURA. Ah!

DON GONZALO [_reading_]. "The daughters of the mothers I once loved,
kiss me now as they would kiss a wooden image." Those lines are in the
humorous vein.

DOÑA LAURA [_laughing_]. So I see.

DON GONZALO. There are some beautiful poems in this book. Listen:
"Twenty years have passed. He returns."

DOÑA LAURA. You cannot imagine how it affects me to see you reading with
all those glasses.

DON GONZALO. Can it be possible that you read without requiring any?

DOÑA LAURA. Certainly.

DON GONZALO. At your age? You must be jesting.

DOÑA LAURA. Pass me the book, please. [_takes book, reads aloud._]
"Twenty years have passed. He returns. And each upon beholding the other
exclaims--Can it be possible that this is he? Merciful heavens, can this
be she?"

    [_Doña Laura returns book to Don Gonzalo._]

DON GONZALO. Indeed, you are to be envied for your wonderful eyesight.

DOÑA LAURA [_aside_]. I knew the lines from memory.

DON GONZALO. I am very fond of good verse, very fond. I even composed
some in my youth.

DOÑA LAURA. Good ones?

DON GONZALO. Of all kinds. I was a great friend of Espronceda, Zorrilla,
Becquer and others. I first met Zorrilla in America.

DOÑA LAURA. Why, have you been in America?

DON GONZALO. Several times. The first time I went I was only six years
old.

DOÑA LAURA. Columbus must have carried you in one of his caravels.

DON GONZALO [_laughing_]. Not quite as bad as that. I am old, I admit,
but I did not know Ferdinand and Isabella. [_They both laugh._] I was
also a great friend of Campoamor. I met him in Valencia. I am a native
of that city.

DOÑA LAURA. You are?

DON GONZALO. I was brought up there and there I spent my early youth.
Have you ever visited that city?

DOÑA LAURA. Yes, Señor. Not far from Valencia there was a mansion that
if still there, should retain memories of me. I spent there several
seasons. This was many, many years ago. It was near the sea, concealed
among lemon and orange trees. They called it--let me see, what did they
call it?--"Maricela."

DON GONZALO [_startled_]. Maricela?

DOÑA LAURA. Maricela. Is the name familiar to you?

DON GONZALO. Yes, very familiar. If my memory serves me right, for we
forget as we grow old, there lived in that mansion the most beautiful
woman I have ever seen, and I assure you I have seen a few. Let me
see--what was her name? Laura--Laura--Laura Lorente.

DOÑA LAURA [_startled_]. Laura Lorente?

DON GONZALO. Yes. [_They look at each other strangely._]

DOÑA LAURA [_recovering herself_]. Nothing. You reminded me of my best
friend.

DON GONZALO. How strange!

DOÑA LAURA. It is strange. She was called "The Silver Maiden."

DON GONZALO. Precisely, "The Silver Maiden." By that name she was known
in that locality. I seem to see her as if she were before me now, at
that window of the red roses. Do you remember that window?

DOÑA LAURA. Yes, I remember. It was that of her room.

DON GONZALO. She spent many hours there. I mean in my days.

DOÑA LAURA [_sighing_]. And in mine, too.

DON GONZALO. She was ideal. Fair as a lily, jet black hair and black
eyes, with a very sweet expression. She seemed to cast a radiance
wherever she was. Her figure was beautiful, perfect. "What forms of
sovereign beauty God models in human sculpture!" She was a dream.

DOÑA LAURA [_aside_]. If you but knew that dream was now by your side,
you would realize what dreams are worth. [_Aloud_.] She was very
unfortunate and had a sad love affair.

DON GONZALO. Very sad. [_They look at each other._]

DOÑA LAURA. You know of it?

DON GONZALO. Yes.

DOÑA LAURA [_aside_]. Strange are the ways of Providence! This man is my
early lover.

DON GONZALO. The gallant lover, if we refer to the same affair--

DOÑA LAURA. To the duel?

DON GONZALO. Precisely, to the duel. The gallant lover was--my cousin,
of whom I was very fond.

DOÑA LAURA. Oh, yes, a cousin. My friend told me in one of her letters
the story of that love affair, truly romantic. He, your cousin, passed
by on horseback every morning by the rose path under her window, and
tossed up to her balcony a bouquet of flowers which she caught.

DON GONZALO. And later in the afternoon, the gallant horseman would
return by the same path, and catch the bouquet of flowers she would toss
him. Was it not so?

DOÑA LAURA. Yes. They wanted to marry her to a merchant whom she did not
fancy.

DON GONZALO. And one night, when my cousin watched under her window to
hear her sing, this new lover presented himself unexpectedly.

DOÑA LAURA. And insulted your cousin.

DON GONZALO. There was a quarrel.

DOÑA LAURA. And later a duel.

DON GONZALO. Yes, at sunrise, on the beach, and the merchant was badly
wounded. My cousin had to conceal himself for a few days and later to
fly.

DOÑA LAURA. You seem to know the story perfectly.

DON GONZALO. And so do you.

DOÑA LAURA. I have told you that my friend related it to me.

DON GONZALO. And my cousin to me. [_Aside._] This woman is Laura. What a
strange fate has brought us together again.

DOÑA LAURA [_aside_]. He does not suspect who I am. Why tell him? Let
him preserve his illusion.

DON GONZALO [_aside_]. She does not suspect she is talking to her old
lover. How can she? I will not reveal my identity.

DOÑA LAURA. And was it you, by chance, who advised your cousin to forget
Laura?

DON GONZALO. Why, my cousin never forgot her for one instant.

DOÑA LAURA. How do you account, then, for his conduct?

DON GONZALO. I will explain. The young man first took refuge in my
house, fearful of the consequences of his duel with that man, so much
beloved in that locality. From my home he went to Seville, then came to
Madrid. He wrote to Laura many letters, some in verse. But, undoubtedly,
they were intercepted by her parents, for she never answered them.
Gonzalo then, in despair, and believing his loved one lost to him
forever, joined the army, went to Africa, and there, in a trench, met a
glorious death, grasping the flag of Spain and repeating the name of his
beloved--Laura--Laura--Laura.

DOÑA LAURA [_aside_]. What an atrocious lie!

DON GONZALO [_aside_]. I could not have killed myself in a more glorious
manner.

DOÑA LAURA. Such a calamity must have caused you the greatest sorrow.

DON GONZALO. Yes, indeed, Señora. As great as if it were a brother. I
presume though, that on the contrary, Laura in a short time was chasing
butterflies in her garden, indifferent to everything.

DOÑA LAURA. No, Señor, no indeed.

DON GONZALO. It is usually a woman's way.

DOÑA LAURA. Even if you consider it a woman's way, the "Silver Maiden"
was not of that disposition. My friend awaited news for days, months, a
year, and no letter came. One afternoon, just at sunset, and as the
first stars were appearing, she was seen to leave the house, and with
quick steps, wend her way toward the beach, that beach where her beloved
had risked his life. She wrote his name on the sand, then sat upon a
rock, her gaze fixed upon the horizon. The waves murmured their eternal
monologue and slowly covered the rock where the maiden sat. Shall I tell
you the rest?--The tide rose and carried her off to sea.

DON GONZALO. Good heavens!

DOÑA LAURA. The fishermen of that sea-coast who tell the story, affirm
that it was a long time before the waves washed away that name written
on the sand. [_Aside._] You will not get ahead of me in inventing a
romantic death.

DON GONZALO [_aside_]. She lies more than I do.

DOÑA LAURA. Poor Laura!

DON GONZALO. Poor Gonzalo!

DOÑA LAURA [_aside_]. I will not tell him that in two years I married
another.

DON GONZALO [_aside_]. I will not tell her that in three months I went
to Paris with a ballet dancer.

DOÑA LAURA. What strange pranks Fate plays! Here you and I, complete
strangers, met by chance, and in discussing the romance of friends of
long ago, we have been conversing as we were old friends.

DON GONZALO. Yes, it is strange, considering we commenced our
conversation quarreling.

DOÑA LAURA. Because you scared away the birds.

DON GONZALO. I was in a bad temper.

DOÑA LAURA. Yes, that was evident. [_Sweetly._] Are you coming
to-morrow?

DON GONZALO. Most certainly, if it is a sunny morning. And not only will
I not scare away the birds, but will also bring them bread crumbs.

DOÑA LAURA. Thank you very much. They are very interesting and deserve
to be noticed. I wonder where my maid is? [_Doña Laura rises; Don
Gonzalo also rises._] What time can it be? [_Doña Laura walks toward
left._]

DON GONZALO. It is nearly twelve o'clock. Where can that scamp Juanito
be? [_Walks toward right._]

DOÑA LAURA. There she is talking with her guard. [_Signals with her hand
for her maid to approach._]

DON GONZALO [_looking at Laura, whose back is turned. Aside_]. No, no, I
will not reveal my identity. I am a grotesque figure now. Better that
she recall the gallant horseman who passed daily under her window and
tossed her flowers.

DOÑA LAURA. How reluctant she is to leave him. Here she comes.

DON GONZALO. But where can Juanito be? He has probably forgotten
everything in the society of some nursemaid. [_Looks toward right and
signals with his hand._]

DOÑA LAURA [_looking at Gonzalo, whose back is turned. Aside_]. No, I
will not tell him I am Laura. I am too sadly altered. It is better he
should remember me as the blackeyed girl who tossed him flowers as he
passed through the rose path in that garden.

    [_Juanito enters by right: Petra by left. She has a bunch of
    violets in her hand._]

DOÑA LAURA. Well, Petra, I thought you were never coming.

DON GONZALO. But, Juanito, what delayed you so? It is very late.

PETRA [_handing violets to Doña Laura_]. My lover gave me these violets
for you, Señora.

DOÑA LAURA. How very nice of him. Thank him for me. They are very
fragrant. [_As she takes the violets from her maid, a few loose ones
drop to the ground._]

DON GONZALO. My dear Señora, this has been a great honor and pleasure.

DOÑA LAURA. And it has also been a pleasure to me.

DON GONZALO. Good-by until to-morrow.

DOÑA LAURA. Until to-morrow.

DON GONZALO. If it is a sunny day.

DOÑA LAURA. If it is a sunny day. Will you go to your bench?

DON GONZALO. No, Señora, I will come to this, if you do not object?

DOÑA LAURA. This bench is at your disposal. [_Both laugh._]

DON GONZALO. And I will surely bring the bread crumbs. [_Both laugh
again._]

DOÑA LAURA. Until to-morrow.

DON GONZALO. Until to-morrow.

    [_Laura walks away on her maid's arm toward right. Gonzalo, before
    leaving with Juanito, trembling and with a great effort, stoops to
    pick up the violets Laura dropped. Just then, Laura turns her head
    and sees him pick up flowers._]

JUANITO. What are you doing, Señor?

DON GONZALO. Wait, Juanito, wait.

DOÑA LAURA [_aside_]. There is no doubt. It is he.

DON GONZALO [_walks toward left. Aside_]. There can be no mistake. It is
she.

    [_Doña Laura and Don Gonzalo wave farewells to each other from a
    distance._]

DOÑA LAURA. Merciful heavens! This is Gonzalo.

DON GONZALO. And to think that this is Laura.

    [_Before disappearing they give one last smiling look at each
    other._]


  [_Curtain._]




THE CREDITOR

  A PLAY

  BY AUGUST STRINDBERG


  PERSONS

    THELKA.
    ADOLF [_her husband, a painter_].
    GUSTAV [_her divorced husband_].
    TWO LADIES, A WAITER.



THE CREDITOR

A PLAY BY AUGUST STRINDBERG


    [SCENE: _A small watering-place. Time, the present. Stage
    directions with reference to the actors._

    _A drawing-room in a watering-place; furnished as above._

    _Door in the middle, with a view out on the sea; side doors right
    and left; by the side door on the left the button of an electric
    bell; on the right of the door in the center a table, with a
    decanter of water and a glass. On the left of the door in the
    center a what-not; on the right a fireplace in front; on the right
    a round table and arm-chair; on the left a sofa, a square table, a
    settee; on the table a small pedestal with a draped
    figure--papers, books, arm-chairs. Only the items of furniture
    which are introduced into the action are referred to in the above
    plan. The rest of the scenery remains unaffected. It is summer,
    and the day-time._]


SCENE I.

    [_Adolf sits on the settee on the left of the square table; his
    stick is propped up near him._]

ADOLF. And it's you I've got to thank for all this.

GUSTAV [_walks up and down on the right, smoking a cigar_]. Oh,
nonsense.

ADOLF. Indeed, I have. Why, the first day after my wife went away, I lay
on my sofa like a cripple and gave myself up to my depression; it was as
though she had taken my crutches, and I couldn't move from the spot. A
few days went by, and I cheered up and began to pull myself together.
The delirious nightmares which my brain had produced, went away. My head
became cooler and cooler. A thought which I once had came to the surface
again. My desire to work, my impulse to create, woke up. My eye got back
again its capacity for sound sharp observation. You came, old man.

GUSTAV. Yes, you were in pretty low water, old man, when I came across
you, and you went about on crutches. Of course, that doesn't prove that
it was simply my presence that helped so much to your recovery: you
needed quiet, and you wanted masculine companionship.

ADOLF. You're right in that, as you are in everything else you say. I
used to have it in the old days. But after my marriage it seemed
unnecessary. I was satisfied with the friend of my heart whom I had
chosen. All the same I soon got into fresh sets, and made many new
acquaintances. But then my wife got jealous. She wanted to have me quite
to herself; but much worse than that, my friends wanted to have her
quite to themselves--and so I was left out in the cold with my jealousy.

GUSTAV. You were predisposed to this illness, you know that.

    [_He passes on the left behind the square table and comes to
    Adolf's left._]

ADOLF. I was afraid of losing her--and tried to prevent it. Are you
surprised at it? I was never afraid for a moment that she'd be
unfaithful to me.

GUSTAV. What husband ever was afraid?

ADOLF. Strange, isn't it? All I troubled about was simply this--about
friends getting influence over her and so being able indirectly to
acquire power over me--and I couldn't bear that at all.

GUSTAV. So you and your wife didn't have quite identical views?

ADOLF. I've told you so much, you may as well know everything---my wife
is an independent character. [_Gustav laughs._] What are you laughing
at, old man?

GUSTAV. Go on, go on. She's an independent character, is she?

ADOLF. She won't take anything from me.

GUSTAV. But she does from everybody else?

ADOLF [_after a pause_]. Yes. And I've felt about all this, that the
only reason why my views were so awfully repugnant to her, was because
they were mine, not because they appeared absurd on their intrinsic
merits. For it often happened that she'd trot out my old ideas, and
champion them with gusto as her own. Why, it even came about that one of
my friends gave her ideas which he had borrowed direct from me. She
found them delightful; she found everything delightful that didn't come
from me.

GUSTAV. In other words, you're not truly happy.

ADOLF. Oh yes, I am. The woman whom I desired is mine, and I never
wished for any other.

GUSTAV. Do you never wish to be free either?

ADOLF. I wouldn't like to go quite so far as that. Of course the thought
crops up now and again, how calmly I should be able to live if I were
free--but she scarcely leaves me before I immediately long for her
again, as though she were my arm, my leg. Strange. When I'm alone I
sometimes feel as though she didn't have any real self of her own, as
though she were a part of my ego, a piece out of my inside, that stole
away all my will, all my _joie de vivre_. Why, my very marrow itself, to
use an anatomical expression, is situated in her; that's what it seems
like.

GUSTAV. Viewing the matter broadly, that seems quite plausible.

ADOLF. Nonsense. An independent person like she is, with such a
tremendous lot of personal views, and when I met her, what was I then?
Nothing. An artistic child which she brought up.

GUSTAV. But afterwards you developed her intellect and educated her,
didn't you?

ADOLF. No; her growth remained stationary, and I shot up.

GUSTAV. Yes; it's really remarkable, but her literary talent already
began to deteriorate after her first book, or, to put it as charitably
as possible, it didn't develop any further. [_He sits down opposite
Adolf on the sofa on the left._] Of course she then had the most
promising subject-matter--for of course she drew the portrait of her
first husband--you never knew him, old man? He must have been an
unmitigated ass.

ADOLF. I've never seen him. He was away for more than six months, but
the good fellow must have been as perfect an ass as they're made,
judging by her description--you can take it from me, old man, that her
description wasn't exaggerated.

GUSTAV. Quite; but why did she marry him?

ADOLF. She didn't know him then. People only get to know one another
afterwards, don't you know.

GUSTAV. But, according to that, people have no business to marry
until--Well, the man was a tyrant, obviously.

ADOLF. Obviously?

GUSTAV. What husband wouldn't be? [_Casually._] Why, old chap, you're as
much a tyrant as any of the others.

ADOLF. Me? I? Well, I allow my wife to come and go as she jolly well
pleases!

GUSTAV [_stands up_]. Pah! a lot of good that is. I didn't suppose you
kept her locked up. [_He turns round behind the square table and comes
over to Adolf on the right._] Don't you mind if she's out all night?

ADOLF. I should think I do.

GUSTAV. Look here. [_Resuming his earlier tone._] Speaking as man to
man, it simply makes you ridiculous.

ADOLF. Ridiculous? Can a man's trusting his wife make him ridiculous?

GUSTAV. Of course it can. And you've been so for some time. No doubt
about it.

    [_He walks round the round table on the right._]

ADOLF [_excitedly_]. Me? I'd have preferred to be anything but that. I
must put matters right.

GUSTAV. Don't you get so excited, otherwise you'll get an attack again.

ADOLF [_after a pause_]. Why doesn't she look ridiculous when I stay out
all night?

GUSTAV. Why? Don't you bother about that. That's how the matter stands,
and while you're fooling about moping, the mischief is done.

    [_He goes behind the square table, and walks behind the sofa._]

ADOLF. What mischief?

GUSTAV. Her husband, you know, was a tyrant, and she simply married him
in order to be free. For what other way is there for a girl to get free,
than by getting the so-called husband to act as cover?

ADOLF. Why, of course.

GUSTAV. And now, old man, you're the cover.

ADOLF. I?

GUSTAV. As her husband.

ADOLF [_looks absent_].

GUSTAV. Am I not right?

ADOLF [_uneasily_]. I don't know. [_Pause._] A man lives for years on
end with a woman without coming to a clear conclusion about the woman
herself, or how she stands in relation to his own way of looking at
things. And then all of a sudden a man begins to reflect--and then
there's no stopping. Gustav, old man, you're my friend, the only friend
I've had for a long time, and this last week you've given me back all my
life and pluck. It seems as though you'd radiated your magnetism over
me. You were the watchmaker who repairs the works in my brain, and
tightened the spring. [_Pause._] Don't you see yourself how much more
lucidly I think, how much more connectedly I speak, and at times it
almost seems as though my voice had got back the timbre it used to have
in the old days.

GUSTAV. I think so, too. What can be the cause of it?

ADOLF. I don't know. Perhaps one gets accustomed to talk more softly to
women. Thekla, at any rate, was always ragging me because I shrieked.

GUSTAV. And then you subsided into a minor key, and allowed yourself to
be put in the corner.

ADOLF. Don't say that. [_Reflectively._] That wasn't the worst of it.
Let's talk of something else--where was I then--I've got it. [_Gustav
turns round again at the back of the square table and comes to Adolf on
his right._] You came here, old man, and opened my eyes to the mysteries
of my art. As a matter of fact, I've been feeling for some time that my
interest in painting was lessening, because it didn't provide me with a
proper medium to express what I had in me; but when you gave me the
reason for this state of affairs, and explained to me why painting could
not possibly be the right form for the artistic impulse of the age, then
I saw the true light and I recognized that it would be from now onwards
impossible for me to create in colors.

GUSTAV. Are you so certain, old man, that you won't be able to paint any
more, that you won't have any relapse?

ADOLF. Quite. I have tested myself. When I went to bed the evening after
our conversation I reviewed your chain of argument point by point, and
felt convinced that it was sound. But the next morning, when my head
cleared again, after the night's sleep, the thought flashed through me
like lightning that you might be mistaken all the same. I jumped up, and
snatched up a brush and palette, in order to paint, but--just think of
it!--it was all up. I was no longer capable of any illusion. The whole
thing was nothing but blobs of color, and I was horrified at the
thought. I could never have believed I could convert any one else to the
belief that painted canvas was anything else except painted canvas. The
scales had fallen from my eyes, and I could as much paint again as I
could become a child again.

GUSTAV. You realized then that the real striving of the age, its
aspiration for reality, for actuality, can only find a corresponding
medium in sculpture, which gives bodies extension in the three
dimensions.

ADOLF [_hesitating_]. The three dimensions? Yes--in a word, bodies.

GUSTAV. And now you want to become a sculptor? That means that you were
a sculptor really from the beginning; you got off the line somehow, so
you only needed a guide to direct you back again to the right track. I
say, when you work now, does the great joy of creation come over you?

ADOLF. Now, I live again.

GUSTAV. May I see what you're doing?

ADOLF [_undraping a figure on the small table_]. A female figure.

GUSTAV [_probing_]. Without a model, and yet so lifelike?

ADOLF [_heavily_]. Yes, but it is like somebody; extraordinary how this
woman is in me, just as I am in her.

GUSTAV. That last is not so extraordinary--do you know anything about
transfusion?

ADOLF. Blood transfusion? Yes.

GUSTAV. It seems to me that you've allowed your veins to be opened a bit
too much. The examination of this figure clears up many things which I'd
previously only surmised. You loved her infinitely?

ADOLF. Yes; so much that I could never tell whether she is I, or I am
her; when she laughed I laughed; when she cried I cried, and when--just
imagine it--our child came into the world I suffered the same as she
did.

GUSTAV [_stepping a little to the right_]. Look here, old chap, I am
awfully sorry to have to tell you, but the symptoms of epilepsy are
already manifesting themselves.

ADOLF [_crushed_]. In me? What makes you say so.

GUSTAV. Because I watched these symptoms in a younger brother of mine,
who eventually died of excess.

    [_He sits down in the arm-chair by the circular table._]

ADOLF. How did it manifest itself--that disease, I mean?

    [_Gustav gesticulates vividly; Adolf watches with strained
    attention, and involuntarily imitates Gustav's gestures._]

GUSTAV. A ghastly sight. If you feel at all off color, I'd rather not
harrow you by describing the symptoms.

ADOLF [_nervously_]. Go on; go on.

GUSTAV. Well, it's like this. Fate had given the youngster for a wife a
little innocent, with kiss-curls, dove-like eyes, and a baby face, from
which there spoke the pure soul of an angel. In spite of that, the
little one managed to appropriate the man's prerogative.

ADOLF. What is that?

GUSTAV. Initiative, of course; and the inevitable result was that the
angel came precious near taking him away to heaven. He first had to be
on the cross and feel the nails in his flesh.

ADOLF [_suffocating_]. Tell me, what was it like?

GUSTAV [_slowly_]. There were times when he and I would sit quite
quietly by each other and chat, and then--I'd scarcely been speaking a
few minutes before his face became ashy white, his limbs were paralyzed,
and his thumbs turned in towards the palm of the hand. [_With a
gesture._] Like that! [_Adolf imitates the gesture._] And his eyes were
shot with blood, and he began to chew, do you see, like this. [_He moves
his lips as though chewing; Adolf imitates him again._] The saliva stuck
in his throat; the chest contracted as though it had been compressed by
screws on a joiner's bench; there was a flicker in the pupils like gas
jets; foam spurted from his mouth, and he sank gently back in the chair
as though he were drowning. Then--

ADOLF [_hissing_]. Stop!

GUSTAV. Then--are you unwell?

ADOLF. Yes.

GUSTAV [_gets up and fetches a glass of water from the table on the
right near the center door_]. Here, drink this, and let's change the
subject.

ADOLF [_drinks, limp_]. Thanks; go on.

GUSTAV. Good! When he woke up he had no idea what had taken place. [_He
takes the glass back to the table._] He had simply lost consciousness.
Hasn't that ever happened to you?

ADOLF. Now and again I have attacks of dizziness. The doctor puts it
down to anæmia.

GUSTAV [_on the right of Adolf_]. That's just how the thing starts, mark
you. Take it from me, you're in danger of contracting epilepsy; if you
aren't on your guard, if you don't live a careful and abstemious life,
all round.

ADOLF. What can I do to effect that?

GUSTAV. Above all, you must exercise the most complete continence.

ADOLF. For how long?

GUSTAV. Six months at least.

ADOLF. I can't do it. It would upset all our life together.

GUSTAV. Then it's all up with you.

ADOLF. I can't do it.

GUSTAV. You can't save your own life? But tell me, as you've taken me
into your confidence so far, haven't you any other wound that hurts
you?--some other secret trouble in this multifarious life of ours, with
all its numerous opportunities for jars and complications? There is
usually more than one _motif_ which is responsible for a discord.
Haven't you got a skeleton in the cupboard, old chap, which you hide
even from yourself? You told me a minute ago you'd given your child to
people to look after. Why didn't you keep it with you?

    [_He goes behind the square table on the left and then behind the
    sofa._]

ADOLF [_covers the figure on the small table with a cloth_]. It was my
wife's wish to have it nursed outside the house.

GUSTAV. The motive? Don't be afraid.

ADOLF. Because when the kid was three years old she thought it began to
look like her first husband.

GUSTAV. Re-a-lly? Ever seen the first husband?

ADOLF. No, never. I just once cast a cursory glance over a bad
photograph, but I couldn't discover any likeness.

GUSTAV. Oh, well, photographs are never like, and besides, his type of
face may have changed with time. By the by, didn't that make you at all
jealous?

ADOLF. Not a bit. The child was born a year after our marriage, and the
husband was traveling when I met Thekla, here--in this
watering-place--in this very house. That's why we come here every
summer.

GUSTAV. Then all suspicion on your part was out of the question? But so
far as the intrinsic facts of the matter are concerned you needn't be
jealous at all, because it not infrequently happens that the children of
a widow who marries again are like the deceased husband. Very awkward
business, no question about it; and that's why, don't you know, the
widows are burned alive in India. Tell me, now, didn't you ever feel
jealous of him, of the survival of his memory in your own self? Wouldn't
it have rather gone against the grain if he had just met you when you
were out for a walk, and, looking straight at Thekla, said "We," instead
of "I"? "We."

ADOLF. I can't deny that the thought has haunted me.

GUSTAV [_sits down opposite Adolf on the sofa on the left_]. I thought
as much, and you'll never get away from it. There are discords in life,
you know, which never get resolved, so you must stuff your ears with
wax, and work. Work, get older, and heap up over the coffin a mass of
new impressions, and then the corpse will rest in peace.

ADOLF. Excuse my interrupting you--but it is extraordinary at times how
your way of speaking reminds me of Thekla. You've got a trick, old man,
of winking with your right eye as though you were counting, and your
gaze has the same power over me as hers has.

GUSTAV. No, really?

ADOLF. And now you pronounce your "No, really?" in the same indifferent
tone that she does. "No, really?" is one of her favorite expressions,
too, you know.

GUSTAV. Perhaps there is a distant relationship between us: all men and
women are related of course. Anyway, there's no getting away from the
strangeness of it, and it will be interesting for me to make the
acquaintance of your wife, so as to observe this remarkable
characteristic.

ADOLF. But just think of this, she doesn't take a single expression from
me; why, she seems rather to make a point of avoiding all my special
tricks of speech; all the same, I have seen her make use of one of my
gestures; but it is quite the usual thing in married life for a husband
and a wife to develop the so-called marriage likeness.

GUSTAV. Quite. But look here now. [_He stands up._] That woman has never
loved you.

ADOLF. Nonsense.

GUSTAV. Pray excuse me, woman's love consists simply in this--in taking
in, in receiving. She does not love the man from whom she takes nothing:
she has never loved you.

    [_He turns round behind the square table and walks to Adolf's
    right._]

ADOLF. I suppose you don't think that she'd be able to love more than
once?

GUSTAV. No. Once bit, twice shy. After the first time, one keeps one's
eyes open, but you have never been really bitten yet. You be careful of
those who have; they're dangerous customers.

    [_He goes round the circular table on the right._]

ADOLF. What you say jabs a knife into my flesh. I've got a feeling as
though something in me were cut through, but I can do nothing to stop
it all by myself, and it's as well it should be so, for abscesses will
be opened in that way which would otherwise never be able to come to a
head. She never loved me? Why did she marry me, then?

GUSTAV. Tell me first how it came about that she did marry you, and
whether she married you or you her?

ADOLF. God knows! That's much too hard a question to be answered
offhand, and how did it take place?--it took more than a day.

GUSTAV. Shall I guess?

    [_He goes behind the round table, toward the left, and sits on the
    sofa._]

ADOLF. You'll get nothing for your pains.

GUSTAV. Not so fast! From the insight which you've given me into your
own character, and that of your wife, I find it pretty easy to work out
the sequence of the whole thing. Listen to me and you'll be quite
convinced. [_Dispassionately and in an almost jocular tone._] The
husband happened to be traveling on study and she was alone. At first
she found a pleasure in being free. Then she imagined that she felt the
void, for I presume that she found it pretty boring after being alone
for a fortnight. Then he turned up, and the void begins gradually to be
filled--the picture of the absent man begins gradually to fade in
comparison, for the simple reason that he is a long way off--you know of
course the psychological algebra of distance? And when both of them,
alone as they were, felt the awakening of passion, they were frightened
of themselves, of him, of their own conscience. They sought for
protection, skulked behind the fig-leaf, played at brother and sister,
and the more sensual grew their feelings the more spiritual did they
pretend their relationship really was.

ADOLF. Brother and sister! How did you know that?

GUSTAV. I just thought that was how it was. Children play at mother and
father, but of course when they grow older they play at brother and
sister--so as to conceal what requires concealment; they then discard
their chaste desires; they play blind man's bluff till they've caught
each other in some dark corner, where they're pretty sure not to be seen
by anybody. [_With increased severity._] But they are warned by their
inner consciences that an eye sees them through the darkness. They are
afraid--and in their panic the absent man begins to haunt their
imagination--to assume monstrous proportions--to become
metamorphosed--he becomes a nightmare who oppresses them in that love's
young dream of theirs. He becomes the creditor [_he raps slowly on the
table three times with his finger, as though knocking at the door_] who
knocks at the door. They see his black hand thrust itself between them
when their own are reaching after the dish of pottage. They hear his
unwelcome voice in the stillness of the night, which is only broken by
the beating of their own pulses. He doesn't prevent their belonging to
each other, but he is enough to mar their happiness, and when they have
felt this invisible power of his, and when at last they want to run
away, and make their futile efforts to escape the memory which haunts
them, the guilt which they have left behind, the public opinion which
they are afraid of, and they lack the strength to bear their own guilt,
then a scapegoat has to be exterminated and slaughtered. They posed as
believers in Free Love, but they didn't have the pluck to go straight to
him, to speak straight out to him and say, "We love each other." They
were cowardly, and that's why the tyrant had to be assassinated. Am I
not right?

ADOLF. Yes; but you're forgetting that she trained me, gave me new
thoughts.

GUSTAV. I haven't forgotten it. But tell me, how was it that she wasn't
able to succeed in educating the other man--in educating him into being
really modern?

ADOLF. He was an utter ass.

GUSTAV. Right you are--he was an ass; but that's a fairly elastic word,
and according to her description of him, in her novel, his asinine
nature seemed to have consisted principally in the fact that he didn't
understand her. Excuse the question, but is your wife really as deep as
all that? I haven't found anything particularly profound in her
writings.

ADOLF. Nor have I. I must really own that I too find it takes me all my
time to understand her. It's as though the machinery of our brains
couldn't catch on to each other properly--as though something in my head
got broken when I try to understand her.

GUSTAV. Perhaps you're an ass as well.

ADOLF. No, I flatter myself I'm not that, and I nearly always think that
she's in the wrong--and, for the sake of argument, would you care to
read this letter which I got from her to-day?

    [_He takes a letter out of his pocketbook._]

GUSTAV [_reads it cursorily_]. Hum, I seem to know the style so well.

ADOLF. Like a man's, almost.

GUSTAV. Well, at any rate I know a man who had a style like that.
[_Standing up._] I see she goes on calling you brother all the time--do
you always keep up the comedy for the benefit of your two selves? Do you
still keep on using the fig leaves, even though they're a trifle
withered--you don't use any term of endearment?

ADOLF. No. In my view, I couldn't respect her quite so much if I did.

GUSTAV [_hands back the letter_]. I see, and she calls herself "sister"
so as to inspire respect.

    [_He turns around and passes the square table on Adolf's right._]

ADOLF. I want to esteem her more than I do myself. I want her to be my
better self.

GUSTAV. Oh, you be your better self; though I quite admit it's less
convenient than having somebody else to do it for you. Do you want,
then, to be your wife's inferior?

ADOLF. Yes, I do. I find pleasure in always allowing myself to be beaten
by her a little. For instance, I taught her swimming, and it amuses me
when she boasts about being better and pluckier than I am. At the
beginning I simply pretended to be less skillful and courageous than she
was, in order to give her pluck, but one day, God knows how it came
about, I was actually the worse swimmer and the one with less pluck. It
seemed as though she's taken all my grit away in real earnest.

GUSTAV. And haven't you taught her anything else?

ADOLF. Yes--but this is in confidence--I taught her spelling, because
she didn't know it. Just listen to this. When she took over the
correspondence of the household I gave up writing letters, and--will you
believe it?--simply from lack of practice I've lost one bit of grammar
after another in the course of the year. But do you think she ever
remembers that she has to thank me really for her proficiency? Not for a
minute. Of course, I'm the ass now.

GUSTAV. Ah, really? You're the ass now, are you?

ADOLF. I'm only joking, of course.

GUSTAV. Obviously. But this is pure cannibalism, isn't it? Do you know
what I mean? Well, the savages devour their enemies so as to acquire
their best qualities. Well, this woman has devoured your soul, your
pluck, your knowledge.

ADOLF. And my faith. It was I who kept her up to the mark and made her
write her first book.

GUSTAV [_with facial expression_]. Re-a-lly?

ADOLF. It was I who fed her up with praise, even when I thought her work
was no good. It was I who introduced her into literary sets, and tried
to make her feel herself in clover; defended her against criticism by my
personal intervention. I blew courage into her, kept on blowing it for
so long that I got out of breath myself. I gave and gave and gave--until
nothing was left for me myself. Do you know--I'm going to tell you the
whole story--do you know how the thing seems to me now? One's
temperament is such an extraordinary thing, and when my artistic
successes looked as though they would eclipse her--her prestige--I tried
to buck her up by belittling myself and by representing that my art was
one that was inferior to hers. I talked so much of the general
insignificant rôle of my particular art, and harped on it so much,
thought of so many good reasons for my contention, that one fine day I
myself was soaked through and through with the worthlessness of the
painter's art; so all that was left was a house of cards for you to blow
down.

GUSTAV. Excuse my reminding you of what you said, but at the beginning
of our conversation you were asserting that she took nothing from you.

ADOLF. She doesn't--now, at any rate; now there is nothing left to
take.

GUSTAV. So the snake has gorged herself, and now she vomits.

ADOLF. Perhaps she took more from me than I knew of.

GUSTAV. Oh, you can reckon on that right enough--she took without your
noticing it. [_He goes behind the square table and comes in front of the
sofa._] That's what people call stealing.

ADOLF. Then what it comes to is that she hasn't educated me at all?

GUSTAV. Rather you her. Of course she knew the trick well enough of
making you believe the contrary. Might I ask how she pretended to
educate you?

ADOLF. Oh--at first--hum!

GUSTAV. Well? [_He leans his arms on the table._]

ADOLF. Well, I--

GUSTAV. No; it was she--she.

ADOLF. As a matter of fact I couldn't say which it was.

GUSTAV. You see.

ADOLF. Besides, she destroyed my faith as well, and so I went backward
until you came, old chap, and gave me a new faith.

GUSTAV [_he laughs_]. In sculpture?

    [_He turns round by the square table and comes to Adolf's right._]

ADOLF [_hesitating_]. Yes.

GUSTAV. And you believed in it?--in that abstract, obsolete art from the
childhood of the world. Do you believe that by means of pure form and
three dimensions--no, you don't really--that you can produce an effect
on the real spirit of this age of ours, that you can create illusions
without color? Without color, I say. Do you believe that?

ADOLF [_tonelessly_]. No.

GUSTAV. Nor do I.

ADOLF. But why did you say you did?

GUSTAV. You make me pity you.

ADOLF. Yes, I am indeed to be pitied. And now I'm bankrupt,
absolutely--and the worst of it is I haven't got her any more.

GUSTAV [_with a few steps toward the right_]. What good would she be to
you? She would be what God above was to me before I became an atheist--a
subject on which I could lavish my reverence. You keep your feeling of
reverence dark, and let something else grow on top of it--a healthy
contempt, for instance.

ADOLF. I can't live without some one to reverence.

GUSTAV. Slave!

    [_He goes round the table on the right._]

ADOLF. And without a woman to reverence, to worship.

GUSTAV. Oh, the deuce! Then you go back to that God of yours--if you
really must have something on which you can crucify yourself; but you
call yourself an atheist when you've got the superstitious belief in
women in your own blood; you call yourself a free thinker when you can't
think freely about a lot of silly women. Do you know what all this
illusive quality, this sphinx-like mystery, this profundity in your
wife's temperament all really comes to? The whole thing is sheer
stupidity; why, the woman can't distinguish between A.B. and bull's foot
for the life of her. And look here, it's something shoddy in the
mechanism, that's where the fault lies. Outside it looks like a
fifty-guinea hunting watch, open it and you find it's tuppenny-halfpenny
gun-metal. [_He comes up to Adolf._] Put her in trousers, draw a
mustache under her nose with a piece of coal, and then listen to her in
the same state of mind, and then you'll be perfectly convinced that it
is quite a different kettle of fish altogether---a gramaphone which
reproduces, with rather less volume, your words and other people's
words. Do you know how a woman is constituted? Yes, of course you do. A
boy with the breasts of a mother, an immature man, a precocious child
whose growth has been stunted, a chronically anæmic creature that has a
regular emission of blood thirteen times in the year. What can you do
with a thing like that?

ADOLF. Yes--but--but then how can I believe--that we are really on an
equality?

GUSTAV [_moves away from him again towards the right_]. Sheer
hallucination! The fascination of the petticoat. But it is so; perhaps,
in fact you have become like each other, the leveling has taken place.
But I say. [_He takes out his watch._] We've been chatting for quite
long enough. Your wife's bound to be here shortly. Wouldn't it be better
to leave off now, so that you can rest for a little?

    [_He comes nearer and holds out his hand to say good-by. Adolf
    grips his hand all the tighter._]

ADOLF. NO, don't leave me. I haven't got the pluck to be alone.

GUSTAV. Only for a little while. Your wife will be coming in a minute.

ADOLF. Yes, yes--she's coming. [_Pause._] Strange, isn't it? I long for
her and yet I'm frightened of her. She caresses me, she is tender, but
her kisses have something in them which smothers one, something which
sucks, something which stupefies. It is as though I were the child at
the circus whose face the clown is making up in the dressing-room, so
that it can appear red-cheeked before the public.

GUSTAV [_leaning on the arm of Adolf's chair_]. I'm sorry for you, old
man. Although I'm not a doctor I am in a position to tell you that you
are a dying man. One only has to look at your last pictures to be quite
clear on the point.

ADOLF. What do you say--what do you mean?

GUSTAV. Your coloring is so watery, so consumptive and thin, that the
yellow of the canvas shines through. It is just as though your hollow
ashen white cheeks were looking out at me.

ADOLF. Ah!

GUSTAV. Yes, and that's not only my view. Haven't you read to-day's
paper?

ADOLF [_he starts_]. No.

GUSTAV. It's before you on the table.

ADOLF [_he gropes after the paper without having the courage to take
it_]. Is it in here?

GUSTAV. Read it, or shall I read it to you?

ADOLF. No.

GUSTAV [_turns to leave_]. If you prefer it, I'll go.

ADOLF. NO, no, no! I don't know how it is--I think I am beginning to
hate you, but all the same I can't do without your being near me. You
have helped to drag me out of the slough which I was in, and, as luck
would have it, I just managed to work my way clear and then you knocked
me on the head and plunged me in again. As long as I kept my secrets to
myself I still had some guts--now I'm empty. There's a picture by an
Italian master that describes a torture scene. The entrails are dragged
out of a saint by means of a windlass. The martyr lies there and sees
himself getting continually thinner and thinner, but the roll on the
windless always gets perpetually fatter, and so it seems to me that you
get stronger since you've taken me up and that you're taking away now
with you, as you go, my innermost essence, the core of my character, and
there's nothing left of me but an empty husk.

GUSTAV. Oh, what fantastic notions; besides, your wife is coming back
with your heart.

ADOLF. No; no longer, after you have burnt it for me. You have passed
through me, changing everything in your track to ashes--my art, my love,
my hope, my faith.

GUSTAV [_comes near to him again_]. Were you so splendidly off before?

ADOLF. No, I wasn't, but the situation might have been saved; now it's
too late. Murderer!

GUSTAV. We've wasted a little time. Now we'll do some sowing in the
ashes.

ADOLF. I hate you! I curse you!

GUSTAV. A healthy symptom. You've still got some strength, and now I'll
screw up your machinery again. I say. [_He goes behind the square table
on the left and comes in front of the sofa._] Will you listen to me and
obey me?

ADOLF. Do what you will with me, I'll obey.

GUSTAV. Look at me.

ADOLF [_looks him in the face_]. And now you look at me again with that
other expression in those eyes of yours, which draws me to you
irresistibly.

GUSTAV. Now listen to me.

ADOLF. Yes, but speak of yourself. Don't speak any more of me: it's as
though I were wounded, every movement hurts me.

GUSTAV. Oh no, there isn't much to say about me, don't you know. I'm a
private tutor in dead languages and a widower, that's all. [_He goes in
front of the table._] Hold my hand.

    [_Adolf does so._]

ADOLF. What awful strength you must have, it seems as though a fellow
were catching hold of an electric battery.

GUSTAV. And just think, I was once quite as weak as you are.
[_Sternly._] Get up.

ADOLF [_gets up_]. I am like a child without any bones, and my brain is
empty.

GUSTAV. Take a walk through the room.

ADOLF. I can't.

GUSTAV. You must; if you don't I'll hit you.

ADOLF [_stands up_]. What do you say?

GUSTAV. I've told you--I'll hit you.

ADOLF [_jumps back to the circular table on the right, beside himself._]
You!

GUSTAV [_follows him_]. Bravo! That's driven the blood to your head, and
woken up your self-respect. Now I'll give you an electric shock. Where's
your wife?

ADOLF. Where's my wife?

GUSTAV. Yes.

ADOLF. At--a meeting.

GUSTAV. Certain?

ADOLF. Absolutely.

GUSTAV. What kind of a meeting?

ADOLF. An orphan association.

GUSTAV. Did you part friends?

ADOLF [_hesitating_]. Not friends.

GUSTAV. Enemies, then? What did you say to make her angry?

ADOLF. You're terrible. I'm frightened of you. How did you manage to
know that?

GUSTAV. I've just got three known quantities, and by their help I work
out the unknown. What did you say to her, old chap?

ADOLF. I said--only two words--but two awful words. I regret them--I
regret them.

GUSTAV. You shouldn't do that. Well, speak!

ADOLF. I said, "Old coquette."

GUSTAV. And what else?

ADOLF. I didn't say anything else.

GUSTAV. Oh yes, you did; you've only forgotten it. Perhaps because you
haven't got the pluck to remember it. You've locked it up in a secret
pigeonhole; open it.

ADOLF. I don't remember.

GUSTAV. But I know what it was--the sense was roughly this: "You ought
to be ashamed of yourself to be always flirting at your age. You're
getting too old to find any more admirers."

ADOLF. Did I say that--possibly? How did you manage to know it?

GUSTAV. On my way here I heard her tell the story on the steamer.

ADOLF. To whom?

GUSTAV [_walks up and down on the left_]. To four boys, whom she
happened to be with. She has a craze for pure boys, just like--

ADOLF. A perfectly innocent _penchant_.

GUSTAV. Quite as innocent as playing brother and sister when one is
father and mother.

ADOLF. You saw her, then?

GUSTAV. Yes, of course; but you've never seen her if you didn't see her
then--I mean, if you weren't present--and that's the reason, don't you
know, why a husband can never know his wife. Have you got her
photograph?

ADOLF [_takes a photo out of his pocketbook. Inquisitively_]. Here you
are.

GUSTAV [_takes it_]. Were you present when it was taken?

ADOLF. No.

GUSTAV. Just look at it? Is it like the portrait you painted? No, the
features are the same, but the expression is different. But you don't
notice that, because you insist on seeing in it the picture of her which
you've painted. Now look at this picture as a painter, without thinking
of the original. What does it represent? I can see nothing but a
tricked-out flirt, playing the decoy. Observe the cynical twist in the
mouth, which you never managed to see. You see that her look is seeking
a man quite different from you. Observe the dress is _décolleté_, the
coiffure titivated to the last degree, the sleeves finished high up. You
see?

ADOLF. Yes, now I see.

GUSTAV. Be careful, my boy.

ADOLF. Of what?

GUSTAV [_gives him back the portrait_]. Of her revenge. Don't forget
that by saying she was no longer attractive to men you wounded her in
the one thing which she took most seriously. If you'd called her
literary works twaddle she'd have laughed, and pitied your bad taste,
but now--take it from me--if she hasn't avenged herself already it's not
her fault.

ADOLF. I must be clear on that point.

    [_He goes over to Gustav, and sits down in his previous place.
    Gustav approaches him._]

GUSTAV. Find out yourself.

ADOLF. Find out myself?

GUSTAV. Investigate. I'll help you, if you like.

ADOLF [_after a pause_]. Good. Since I've been condemned to death
once--so be it--sooner or later it's all the same what's to happen.

GUSTAV. One question first. Hasn't your wife got just one weak point?

ADOLF. Not that I know of. [_Adolf goes to the open door in the
center_]. Yes. You can hear the steamer in the Sound now--she'll be here
soon. And I must go down to meet her.

GUSTAV [_holding him back_]. No, stay here. Be rude to her. If she's got
a good conscience she'll let you have it so hot and strong that you
won't know where you are. But if she feels guilty she'll come and caress
you.

ADOLF. Are you so sure of it?

GUSTAV. Not absolutely. At times a hare goes back in the tracks, but I'm
not going to let this one escape me. My room is just here. [_Points to
the door on the right and goes behind Adolf's chair._] I'll keep this
position, and be on the look-out, while you play your game here, and
when you've played it to the end we'll exchange parts. I'll go in the
cage and leave myself to the tender mercies of the snake, and you can
stand at the keyhole. Afterwards we'll meet in the park and compare
notes. But pull yourself together, old man, and if you show weakness
I'll knock on the floor twice with a chair.

ADOLF [_getting up_]. Right. But don't go away: I must know that you're
in the next room.

GUSTAV. You can trust me for that. But be careful you aren't afraid when
you see later on how I can dissect a human soul and lay the entrails
here on the table. It may seem a bit uncanny to beginners, but if you've
seen it done once you don't regret it. One thing more, don't say a word
that you've met me, or that you have made any acquaintance during her
absence--not a word. I'll ferret out her weak point myself. Hush! She's
already up there in her room. She's whistling--then she's in a temper.
Now stick to it. [_He points to the left._] And sit here on this chair,
then she'll have to sit there [_He points to the sofa on the left._],
and I can keep you both in view at the same time.

ADOLF. We've still got an hour before dinner. There are no new visitors,
for there has been no bell to announce them. We'll be alone
together--more's the pity!

GUSTAV. You seem pretty limp. Are you unwell?

ADOLF. I'm all right; unless, you know, I'm frightened of what's going
to happen. But I can't help its happening. The stone rolls, but it was
not the last drop of water that made it roll, nor yet the
first--everything taken together brought it about.

GUSTAV. Let it roll, then; it won't have any peace until it does.
Good-by, for the time being.

    [_Exit on the right. Adolf nods to him, stands up for a short
    time, looking at the photograph, tears it to pieces, and throws
    the fragments behind the circular table on the right; he then sits
    down in his previous place, nervously arranges his tie, runs his
    fingers through his hair, fumbles with the lapels of his coat,
    etc. Thekla enters on the left._]


SCENE II.

THEKLA [_frank, cheerful and engaging, goes straight up to her husband
and kisses him_]. Good-day, little brother; how have you been getting
on?

    [_She stands on his left._]

ADOLF [_half overcome but jocularly resisting_]. What mischief have you
been up to, for you to kiss me?

THEKLA. Yes, let me just confess. Something very naughty--I've spent an
awful lot of money.

ADOLF. Did you have a good time, then?

THEKLA. Excellent. [_She goes to his right._] But not at the Congress.
It was as dull as ditch-water, don't you know. But how has little
brother been passing the time, when his little dove had flown away?

    [_She looks around the room, as though looking for somebody or
    scenting something, and thus comes behind the sofa on the left._]

ADOLF. Oh, the time seemed awfully long.

THEKLA. Nobody to visit you?

ADOLF. Not a soul.

THEKLA [_looks him up and down and sits down on the sofa_]. Who sat
here?

ADOLF. Here? No one.

THEKLA. Strange! The sofa is as warm as anything, and there's the mark
of an elbow in the cushion. Have you had a lady visitor?

    [_She stands up._]

ADOLF. Me? You're not serious?

THEKLA [_turns away from the square table and comes to Adolf's right_].
How he blushes! So the little brother wants to mystify me a bit, does
he? Well, let him come here and confess what he's got on his conscience
to his little wife.

    [_She draws him to her. Adolf lets his head sink on her breast;
    laughing._]

ADOLF. You're a regular devil, do you know that?

THEKLA. No, I know myself so little.

ADOLF. Do you never think about yourself?

THEKLA [_looking in the air, while she looks at him searchingly_]. About
myself? I only think about myself. I am a shocking egoist, but how
philosophical you've become, my dear.

ADOLF. Put your hand on my forehead.

THEKLA [_playfully_]. Has he got bees in his bonnet again? Shall I drive
them away? [_She kisses him on the forehead._] There, it's all right
now? [_Pause, moving away from him to the right._] Now let me hear what
he's been doing to amuse himself. Painted anything pretty?

ADOLF. No; I've given up painting!

THEKLA. What, you've given up painting!

ADOLF. Yes, but don't scold me about it. How could I help it if I wasn't
able to paint any more?

THEKLA. What are you going to take up then?

ADOLF. I'm going to be a sculptor. [_Thekla passes over in front of the
square table and in front of the sofa._] Yes, but don't blame me--just
look at this figure.

THEKLA [_unwraps the figure on the table_]. Hallo, I say. Who's this
meant to be?

ADOLF. Guess!

THEKLA [_tenderly_]. Is it meant to be his little wife? And he isn't
ashamed of it, is he?

ADOLF. Hasn't he hit the mark?

THEKLA. How can I tell?--the face is lacking.

    [_She drapes the figure._]

ADOLF. Quite so--but all the rest? Nice?

THEKLA [_taps him caressingly on yhe cheek_]. Will he shut up? Otherwise
I'll kiss him.

    [_She goes behind him; Adolf defending himself._]

ADOLF. Look out, look out, anybody might come.

THEKLA [_nestling close to him_]. What do I care! I'm surely allowed to
kiss my own husband. That's only my legal right.

ADOLF. Quite so; but do you know the people here in the hotel take the
view that we're not married because we kiss each other so much, and our
occasional quarreling makes them all the more cocksure about it, because
lovers usually carry on like that.

THEKLA. But need there be any quarrels? Can't he always be as sweet and
good as he is at present. Let him tell me. Wouldn't he like it himself?
Wouldn't he like us to be happy?

ADOLF. I should like it, but--

THEKLA [_with a step to the right_]. Who put it into his head not to
paint any more?

ADOLF. You're always scenting somebody behind me and my thoughts. You're
jealous.

THEKLA. I certainly am. I was always afraid some one might estrange you
from me.

ADOLF. You're afraid of that, you say, though you know very well that
there isn't a woman living who can supplant you--that I can't live
without you.

THEKLA. I wasn't frightened the least bit of females. It was your
friends I was afraid of: they put all kinds of ideas into your head.

ADOLF [_probing_]. So you were afraid? What were you afraid of?

THEKLA. Some one has been here. Who was it?

ADOLF. Can't you stand my looking at you?

THEKLA. Not in that way. You aren't accustomed to look at me like that.

ADOLF. How am I looking at you then?

THEKLA. You are spying underneath your eyelids.

ADOLF. Right through. Yes, I want to know what it's like inside.

THEKLA. I don't mind. As you like. I've nothing to hide, but--your very
manner of speaking has changed--you employ expressions. [_Probing._] You
philosophize. Eh? [_She goes toward him in a menacing manner._] Who has
been here?

ADOLF. My doctor--nobody else.

THEKLA. Your doctor! What doctor?

ADOLF. The doctor from Strömastad.

THEKLA. What's his name?

ADOLF. Sjöberg.

THEKLA. What did he say?

ADOLF. Well--he said, among other things--that I'm pretty near getting
epilepsy.

THEKLA [_with a step to the right_]. Among other things! What else did
he say?

ADOLF. Oh, something extremely unpleasant.

THEKLA. Let me hear it.

ADOLF. He forbade us to live together as man and wife for some time.

THEKLA. There you are. I thought as much. They want to separate us. I've
already noticed it for some time.

    [_She goes round the circular table toward the right._]

ADOLF. There was nothing for you to notice. There was never the
slightest incident of that description.

THEKLA. What do you mean?

ADOLF. How could it have been possible for you to have seen something
which wasn't there if your fear hadn't heated your imagination to so
violent a pitch that you saw what never existed? As a matter of fact,
what were you afraid of? That I might borrow another's eye so as to see
you as you really were, not as you appeared to me?

THEKLA. Keep your imagination in check, Adolf. Imagination is the beast
in the human soul.

ADOLF. Where did you get this wisdom from? From the pure youths on the
steamer, eh?

THEKLA [_without losing her self-possession_]. Certainly--even youth can
teach one a great deal.

ADOLF. You seem for once in a way, to be awfully keen on youth?

THEKLA [_standing by the door in the center_]. I have always been so,
and that's how it came about that I loved you. Any objection?

ADOLF. Not at all. But I should very much prefer to be the only one.

THEKLA [_coming forward on his right, and joking as though speaking to a
child_]. Let the little brother look here. I've got such a large heart
that there is room in it for a great many, not only for him.

ADOLF. But little brother doesn't want to know anything about the other
brothers.

THEKLA. Won't he just come here and let himself be teased by his little
woman, because he's jealous--no, envious is the right word.

    [_Two knocks with a chair are heard from the room on the right._]

ADOLF. No, I don't want to fool about, I want to speak seriously.

THEKLA [_as though speaking to a child_]. Good Lord! he wants to speak
seriously. Upon my word! Has the man become serious for once in his
life? [_Comes on his left, takes hold of his head and kisses him._]
Won't he laugh now a little?

    [_Adolf laughs._]

THEKLA. There, there!

ADOLF [_laughs involuntarily_]. You damned witch, you! I really believe
you can bewitch people.

THEKLA [_comes in front of the sofa_]. He can see for himself, and
that's why he mustn't worry me, otherwise I shall certainly bewitch him.

ADOLF [_springs up_]. Thekla! Sit for me a minute in profile, and I'll
do the face for your figure.

THEKLA. With pleasure.

    [_She turns her profile toward him._]

ADOLF [_sits down, fixes her with his eyes and acts as though he were
modeling_]. Now, don't think of me, think of somebody else.

THEKLA. I'll think of my last conquest.

ADOLF. The pure youth?

THEKLA. Quite right. He had the duckiest, sweetest little mustache, and
cheeks like cherries, so delicate and soft, one could have bitten right
into them.

ADOLF [_depressed_]. Just keep that twist in your mouth.

THEKLA. What twist?

ADOLF. That cynical insolent twist which I've never seen before.

THEKLA [_makes a grimace_]. Like that?

ADOLF. Quite. [_He gets up._] Do you know how Bret Harte describes the
adulteress?

THEKLA [_laughs_]. No, I've never read that Bret What-do-you-call-him.

ADOLF. Oh! she's a pale woman who never blushes.

THEKLA. Never? Oh yes, she does; oh yes, she does. Perhaps when she
meets her lover, even though her husband and Mr. Bret didn't manage to
see anything of it.

ADOLF. Are you so certain about it?

THEKLA [_as before_]. Absolutely. If the man isn't able to drive her
very blood to her head, how can he possibly enjoy the pretty spectacle?

    [_She passes by him toward the right._]

ADOLF [_raving_]. Thekla! Thekla!

THEKLA. Little fool!

ADOLF [_sternly_]. Thekla!

THEKLA. Let him call me his own dear little sweetheart, and I'll get red
all over before him, shall I?

ADOLF [_disarmed_]. I'm so angry with you, you monster, that I should
like to bite you.

THEKLA [_playing with him_]. Well, come and bite me; come.

    [_She holds out her arms towards him._]

ADOLF [_takes her by the neck and kisses her_]. Yes, my dear, I'll bite
you so that you die.

THEKLA [_joking_]. Look out, somebody might come.

    [_She goes to the fireplace on the right and leans on the
    chimneypiece._]

ADOLF. Oh, what do I care if they do. I don't care about anything in the
whole world so long as I have you.

THEKLA. And if you don't have me any more?

ADOLF [_sinks down on the chair on the left in front of the circular
table_]. Then I die!

THEKLA. All right, you needn't be frightened of that the least bit; I'm
already much too old, you see, for anybody to like me.

ADOLF. You haven't forgotten those words of mine?--I take them back.

THEKLA. Can you explain to me why it is that you're so jealous, and at
the same time so sure of yourself?

ADOLF. No, I can't explain it, but it may be that the thought that
another man has possessed you, gnaws and consumes me. It seems to me at
times as though our whole love were a figment of the brain--a passion
that had turned into a formal matter of honor. I know nothing which
would be more intolerable for me to bear, than for him to have the
satisfaction of making me unhappy. Ah, I've never seen him, but the very
thought that there is such a man who watches in secret for my
unhappiness, who conjures down on me the curse of heaven day by day, who
would laugh and gloat over my fall--the very idea of the thing lies like
a nightmare on my breast, drives me to you, holds me spellbound,
cripples me.

THEKLA [_goes behind the circular table and comes on Adolf's right_]. Do
you think I should like to give him that satisfaction, that I should
like to make his prophecy come true?

ADOLF. No, I won't believe that of you.

THEKLA. Then if that's so, why aren't you easy on the subject?

ADOLF. It's your flirtations which keep me in a chronic state of
agitation. Why do you go on playing that game?

THEKLA. It's no game. I want to be liked, that's all.

ADOLF. Quite so; but only liked by men.

THEKLA. Of course. Do you suggest it would be possible for one of us
women to get herself liked by other women?

ADOLF. I say. [_Pause._] Haven't you heard recently--from him?

THEKLA. Not for the last six months.

ADOLF. Do you never think of him?

THEKLA [_after a pause, quickly and tonelessly_]. No. [_With a step
toward the left._] Since the death of the child there is no longer any
tie between us. [_Pause._]

ADOLF. And you never see him in the street?

THEKLA. No; he must have buried himself somewhere on the west coast. But
why do you harp on that subject just now?

ADOLF. I don't know. When I was so alone these last few days, it just
occurred to me what he must have felt like when he was left stranded.

THEKLA. I believe you've got pangs of conscience.

ADOLF. Yes.

THEKLA. You think you're a thief, don't you?

ADOLF. Pretty near.

THEKLA. All right. You steal women like you steal children or fowl. You
regard me to some extent like his real or personal property. Much
obliged.

ADOLF. No; I regard you as his wife, and that's more than property: it
can't be made up in damages.

THEKLA. Oh yes, it can. If you happen to hear one fine day that he has
married again, these whims and fancies of yours will disappear. [_She
comes over to him._] Haven't you made up for him to me?

ADOLF. Have I?--and did you use to love him in those days?

THEKLA [_goes behind him to the fireplace on the right_]. Of course I
loved him--certainly.

ADOLF. And afterwards?

THEKLA. I got tired of him.

ADOLF. And just think, if you get tired of me in the same way?

THEKLA. That will never be.

ADOLF. But suppose another man came along with all the qualities that
you want in a man? Assume the hypothesis, wouldn't you leave me in that
case?

THEKLA. No.

ADOLF. If he riveted you to him so strongly that you couldn't be parted
from him, then of course you'd give me up?

THEKLA. No; I have never yet said anything like that.

ADOLF. But you can't love two people at the same time?

THEKLA. Oh yes. Why not?

ADOLF. I can't understand it.

THEKLA. Is anything then impossible simply because you can't understand
it? All men are not made on the same lines, you know.

ADOLF [_getting up a few steps to the left_]. I am now beginning to
understand.

THEKLA. No, really?

ADOLF [_sits down in his previous place by the square table_]. No,
really? [_Pause, during which he appears to be making an effort to
remember something, but without success._] Thekla, do you know that your
frankness is beginning to be positively agonizing? [_Thekla moves away
from him behind the square table and goes behind the sofa on the left._]
Haven't you told me, times out of number, that frankness is the most
beautiful virtue you know, and that I must spend all my time in
acquiring it? But it seems to me you take cover behind your frankness.

THEKLA. Those are the new tactics, don't you see.

ADOLF [_after a pause_]. I don't know how it is, but this place begins
to feel uncanny. If you don't mind, we'll travel home this very night.

THEKLA. What an idea you've got into your head again. I've just arrived,
and I've no wish to travel off again.

    [_She sits down on the sofa on the left._]

ADOLF. But if I want it?

THEKLA. Nonsense! What do I care what you want? Travel alone.

ADOLF [_seriously_]. I now order you to travel with me by the next
steamer.

THEKLA. Order? What do you mean by that?

ADOLF. Do you forget that you're my wife?

THEKLA [_getting up_]. Do you forget that you're my husband?

ADOLF [_following her example_]. That's just the difference between one
sex and the other.

THEKLA. That's right, speak in that tone--you have never loved me.

    [_She goes past him to the right up to the fireplace._]

ADOLF. Really?

THEKLA. No, for loving means giving.

ADOLF. For a man to love means giving, for a woman to love means
taking--and I've given, given, given.

THEKLA. Oh, to be sure, you've given a fine lot, haven't you?

ADOLF. Everything.

THEKLA [_leans on the chimneypiece_]. There has been a great deal
besides that. And even if you did give me everything, I accepted it.
What do you mean by coming now and handing the bill for your presents?
If I did take them, I proved to you by that very fact that I loved you.
[_She approaches him._] A girl only takes presents from her lover.

ADOLF. From her lover, I agree. There you spoke the truth. [_With a step
to the left._] I was just your lover, but never your husband.

THEKLA. A man ought to be jolly grateful when he's spared the necessity
of playing cover, but if you aren't satisfied with the position you can
have your _congé_. I don't like a husband.

ADOLF. No, I noticed as much, for when I remarked, some time back, that
you wanted to sneak away from me, and get a set of your own, so as to be
able to deck yourself out with my feathers, to scintillate with my
jewels, I wanted to remind you of your guilt. And then I changed from
your point of view into that inconvenient creditor, whom a woman would
particularly prefer to keep at a safe distance from one, and then you
would have liked to have canceled the debt, and to avoid getting any
more into my debt; you ceased to pilfer my coffers and transferred your
attention to others. I was your husband without having wished it, and
your hate began to arise; but now I'm going to be your husband, whether
you want it or not. I can't be your lover any more, that's certain!

    [_He sits down in his previous place on the right._]

THEKLA [_half joking, she moves away behind the table and goes behind
the sofa_]. Don't talk such nonsense.

ADOLF. You be careful! It's a dangerous game, to consider every one else
an ass and only oneself smart.

THEKLA. Everybody does that more or less.

ADOLF. And I'm just beginning to suspect that that husband of yours
wasn't such an ass after all.

THEKLA. Good God! I really believe you're beginning to have
sympathy--for him?

ADOLF. Yes, almost.

THEKLA. Well, look here. Wouldn't you like to make his acquaintance, so
as to pour out your heart to him if you want to? What a charming
picture! But I, too, begin to feel myself drawn to him somehow. I'm
tired of being the nurse of a baby like you. [_She goes a few steps
forward and passes by Adolf on the right._] He at any rate was a man,
even though he did make the mistake of being my husband.

ADOLF. Hush, hush! But don't talk so loud, we might be heard.

THEKLA. What does it matter, so long as we're taken for man and wife.

ADOLF. So this is what it comes to then? You are now beginning to be
keen both on manly men and pure boys.

THEKLA. There are no limits to my keenness, as you see. And my heart is
open to the whole world, great and small, beautiful and ugly. I love the
whole world.

ADOLF [_standing up_]. Do you know what that means?

THEKLA. No, I don't know, I only feel.

ADOLF. It means that old age has arrived.

THEKLA. Are you starting on that again now? Take care!

ADOLF. You take care!

THEKLA. What of?

ADOLF. Of this knife.

    [_Goes towards her._]

THEKLA [_flippantly_]. Little brother shouldn't play with such dangerous
toys.

    [_She passes by him behind the sofa._]

ADOLF. I'm not playing any longer.

THEKLA [_leaning on the arm of the sofa_]. Really, he's serious, is he,
quite serious? Then I'll jolly well show you--that you made a mistake. I
mean--you'll never see it yourself, you'll never know it. The whole
world will be up to it, but you jolly well won't, you'll have suspicions
and surmises and you won't enjoy a single hour of peace. You will have
the consciousness of being ridiculous and of being deceived, but you'll
never have proofs in your hand, because a husband never manages to get
them. [_She makes a few steps to the right in front of him and toward
him._] That will teach you to know me.

ADOLF [_sits down in his previous place by the table on the left_]. You
hate me.

THEKLA. No, I don't hate you, nor do I think that I could ever get to
hate you. Simply because you're a child.

ADOLF. Listen to me! Just think of the time when the storm broke over
us. [_Standing up._] You lay there like a new-born child and shrieked;
you caught hold of my knees and I had to kiss your eyes to sleep. Then I
was your nurse, and I had to be careful that you didn't go out into the
street without doing your hair. I had to send your boots to the
shoe-maker. I had to take care there was something in the larder. I had
to sit by your side and hold your hand in mine by the hour, for you were
frightened, frightened of the whole world, deserted by your friends,
crushed by public opinion. I had to cheer you up till my tongue stuck to
my palate and my head ached; I had to pose as a strong man, and compel
myself to believe in the future, until at length I succeeded in
breathing life into you while you lay there like the dead. Then it was I
you admired, then it was I who was the man; not the athlete like the man
you deserted, but the man of psychic strength, the man of magnetism, who
transferred his moral force into your enervated muscles and filled your
empty brain with new electricity. And then I put you on your feet again,
got a small court for you, whom I jockeyed into admiring you, as a sheer
matter of friendship to myself, and I made you mistress over me and my
home. I painted you in my finest pictures, in rose and azure on a ground
of gold, and there was no exhibition in which you didn't have the place
of honor. At one moment you were called St. Cecelia, then you were Mary
Stuart, Karm Mansdotter, Ebba Brahe, and so I succeeded in awakening and
stimulating your interests and so I compelled the yelping rabble to look
at you with my own dazzled eyes. I impressed your personality on them by
sheer force. I compelled them until you had won their overwhelming
sympathy--so that at last you have the free _entrée_. And when I had
created you in this way it was all up with my own strength--I broke
down, exhausted by the strain. [_He sits down in his previous place.
Thekla turns toward the fireplace on the right._] I had lifted you up,
but at the same time I brought myself down; I fell ill; and my illness
began to bore you, just because things were beginning to look a bit rosy
for you--and then it seemed to me many times as though some secret
desire were driving you to get away from your creditor and accomplice.
Your love became that of a superior sister, and through want of a better
part I fell into the habit of the new rôle of the little brother. Your
tenderness remained the same as ever, in fact it has rather increased,
but it is tinged with a grain of pity which is counterbalanced by a
strong dose of contempt, and that will increase until it becomes
complete, even as my genius is on the wane and your star is in the
ascendant. It seems, too, as though your source were likely to dry up,
when I leave off feeding it, or, rather, as soon as you show that you
don't want to draw your inspiration from me any longer. And so we both
go down, but you need somebody you can put in your pocket, somebody new,
for you are weak and incapable of carrying any moral burden yourself. So
I became the scapegoat to be slaughtered alive, but all the same we had
become like twins in the course of years, and when you cut through the
thread of my longing, you little thought that you were throttling our
own self. You are a branch from my tree, and you wanted to cut yourself
free from your parent stem before it had struck roots, but you are
unable to flourish on your own, and the tree in its turn couldn't do
without its chief branch, and so both perish.

THEKLA. Do you mean, by all that, that you've written my books?

ADOLF. No; you say that so as to provoke me into a lie. I don't express
myself so crudely as you, and I've just spoken for five minutes on end
simply so as to reproduce all the nuances, all the half-tones, all the
transitions, but your barrel organ has only one key.

THEKLA [_walking up and down on the right_]. Yes, yes; but the gist of
the whole thing is that you've written my books.

ADOLF. No, there's no gist. You can't resolve a symphony into one key;
you can't translate a multifarious life into a single cipher. I never
said anything so crass as that I'd written your books.

THEKLA. But you meant it all the same.

ADOLF [_furious_]. I never meant it.

THEKLA. But the result--

ADOLF [_wildly_]. There's no result if one doesn't add. There is a
quotient, a long infinitesimal figure of a quotient, but I didn't add.

THEKLA. You didn't, but I can.

ADOLF. I quite believe you, but I never did.

THEKLA. But you wanted to.

ADOLF [_exhausted, shutting his eyes_]. No, no, no--don't speak to me
any more, I'm getting convulsions--be quiet, go away! You're flaying my
brain with your brutal pinchers--you're thrusting your claws into my
thoughts and tearing them.

    [_He loses consciousness, stares in front of him and turns his
    thumbs inwards._]

THEKLA [_tenderly coming towards him_]. What is it, dear? Are you ill?
[_Adolf beats around him. Thekla takes her handkerchief, pours water on
to it out of the bottle on the table right of the center door, and cools
his forehead with it._] Adolf!

ADOLF [_he shakes his head_]. Yes.

THEKLA. Do you see now that you were wrong?

ADOLF [_after a pause_]. Yes, yes, yes--I see it.

THEKLA. And you ask me to forgive you?

ADOLF. Yes, yes, yes--I ask you to forgive me; but don't talk right into
my brain any more.

THEKLA. Now kiss my hand.

ADOLF. I'll kiss your hand, if only you won't speak to me any more.

THEKLA. And now you'll go out and get some fresh air before dinner.

ADOLF [_getting up_]. Yes, that will do me good, and afterwards we'll
pack up and go away.

THEKLA. No.

    [_She moves away from him up to the fireplace on the right._]

ADOLF. Why not? You must have some reason.

THEKLA. The simple reason that I've arranged to be at the reception this
evening.

ADOLF. That's it, is it?

THEKLA. That's it right enough. I've promised to be there.

ADOLF. Promised? You probably said that you'd try to come; it doesn't
prevent you from explaining that you have given up your intention.

THEKLA. No, I'm not like you: my word is binding on me.

ADOLF. One's word can be binding without one being obliged to respect
every casual thing one lets fall in conversation; or did somebody make
you promise that you'd go? In that case, you can ask him to release you
because your husband is ill.

THEKLA. No, I've no inclination to do so. And, besides, you're not so
ill that you can't quite well come along too.

ADOLF. Why must I always come along too? Does it contribute to your
greater serenity?

THEKLA. I don't understand what you mean.

ADOLF. That's what you always say when you know I mean something which
you don't like.

THEKLA. Re-a-lly? And why shouldn't I like it?

ADOLF. Stop! stop! Don't start all over again--good-by for the
present--I'll be back soon; I hope that in the meanwhile you'll have
thought better of it.

    [_Exit through the central door and then toward the right. Thekla
    accompanies him to the back of the stage. Gustav enters, after a
    pause, from the right._]


SCENE III.

    [_Gustav goes straight up to the table on the left and takes up a
    paper without apparently seeing Thekla._]

THEKLA [_starts, then controls herself_]. You?

    [_She comes forward._]

GUSTAV. It's me--excuse me.

THEKLA [_on his left_]. Where do you come from?

GUSTAV. I came by the highroad, but--I won't stay on here after seeing
that--

THEKLA. Oh, you stay--Well, it's a long time.

GUSTAV. You're right, a very long time.

THEKLA. You've altered a great deal, Gustav.

GUSTAV. But you, on the other hand, my dear Thekla, are still quite as
fascinating as ever--almost younger, in fact. Please forgive me. I
wouldn't for anything disturb your happiness by my presence. If I'd
known that you were staying here I would never have--

THEKLA. Please--please, stay. It may be that you find it painful.

GUSTAV. It's all right as far as I'm concerned. I only thought--that
whatever I said I should always have to run the risk of wounding you.

THEKLA [_passes in front of him toward the right_]. Sit down for a
moment, Gustav; you don't wound me, because you have the unusual
gift--which always distinguished you--of being subtle and tactful.

GUSTAV. You're too kind; but how on earth can one tell if--your husband
would regard me in the same light that you do.

THEKLA. Quite the contrary. Why, he's just been expressing himself with
the utmost sympathy with regard to you.

GUSTAV. Ah! Yes, everything dies away, even the names which we cut on
the tree's bark--not even malice can persist for long in these
temperaments of ours.

THEKLA. He's never entertained malice against you--why, he doesn't know
you at all--and, so far as I'm concerned, I always entertained the
silent hope that I would live to see the time in which you would
approach each other as friends--or at least meet each other in my
presence, shake hands, and part.

GUSTAV. It was also my secret desire to see the woman whom I loved more
than my life in really good hands, and, as a matter of fact, I've only
heard the very best account of him, while I know all his work as well.
All the same, I felt the need of pressing his hand before I grew old,
looking him in the face, and asking him to preserve the treasure which
providence had entrusted to him, and at the same time I wanted to
extinguish the hate which was burning inside me, quite against my will,
and I longed to find peace of soul and resignation, so as to be able to
finish in quiet that dismal portion of my life which is still left me.

THEKLA. Your words come straight from your heart; you have understood
me, Gustav--thanks.

    [_She holds out her hand._]

GUSTAV. Ah, I'm a petty man. Too insignificant to allow of your thriving
in my shadow. Your temperament, with its thirst for freedom, could not
be satisfied by my monotonous life, the slavish routine to which I was
condemned, the narrow circle in which I had to move. I appreciate that,
but you understand well enough--you who are such an expert
psychologist--what a struggle it must have cost me to acknowledge that
to myself.

THEKLA. How noble, how great to acknowledge one's weaknesses so
frankly--it's not all men who can bring themselves to that point.
[_She sighs._] But you are always an honest character, straight and
reliable--which I knew how to respect,--but--

GUSTAV. I wasn't--not then, but suffering purges, care ennobles
and--and--I have suffered.

THEKLA [_comes nearer to him_]. Poor Gustav, can you forgive me, can
you? Tell me.

GUSTAV. Forgive? What? It is I who have to ask you for forgiveness.

THEKLA [_striking another key_]. I do believe that we're both
crying--though we're neither of us chickens.

GUSTAV [_softly sliding into another tone_]. Chickens, indeed! I'm an
old man, but you--you're getting younger every day.

THEKLA. Do you mean it?

GUSTAV. And how well you know how to dress!

THEKLA. It was you and no one else who taught me that. Do you still
remember finding out my special colors?

GUSTAV. No.

THEKLA. It was quite simple, don't you remember? Come, I still remember
distinctly how angry you used to be with me if I ever had anything else
except pink.

GUSTAV. I angry with you? I was never angry with you.

THEKLA. Oh yes, you were, when you wanted to teach me how to think.
Don't you remember? And I wasn't able to catch on.

GUSTAV. Not able to think, everybody can think, and now you're
developing a quite extraordinary power of penetration--at any rate in
your writings.

THEKLA [_disagreeably affected, tries to change the subject quickly_].
Yes, Gustav dear, I was really awfully glad to see you again, especially
under circumstances so unemotional.

GUSTAV. Well, you can't say at any rate that I was such a cantankerous
cuss: taking it all round, you had a pretty quiet time of it with me.

THEKLA. Yes; if anything too quiet.

GUSTAV. Really? But I thought, don't you see, that you wanted me to be
quiet and nothing else. Judging by your expressions of opinion as a
bride, I had to come to that assumption.

THEKLA. How could a woman know then what she really wanted? Besides,
mother had always drilled into me to make the best of myself.

GUSTAV. Well, and that's why it is that you're going as strong as
possible. There's such a lot always doing in artist life--your husband
isn't exactly a home-bird.

THEKLA. But even so one can have too much of a good thing.

GUSTAV [_suddenly changing his tone_]. Why, I do believe you're still
wearing my earrings.

THEKLA [_embarrassed_]. Yes, why shouldn't I? We're not enemies, you
know--and then I thought I would wear them as a symbol that we're not
enemies--besides, you know that earrings like this aren't to be had any
more.

    [_She takes one off._]

GUSTAV. Well, so far so good; but what does your husband say on the
point?

THEKLA. Why should I ask him?

GUSTAV. You don't ask him? But that's rubbing it in a bit too much--it
could quite well make him look ridiculous.

THEKLA [_simply--in an undertone_]. If it only weren't so pretty.

    [_She has some trouble in adjusting the earring._]

GUSTAV [_who has noticed it_]. Perhaps you will allow me to help you?

THEKLA. Oh, if you would be so kind.

GUSTAV [_presses it into the ear_]. Little ear! I say, dear, supposing
your husband saw us now.

THEKLA. Then there'd be a scene.

GUSTAV. Is he jealous, then?

THEKLA. I should think he is--rather!

    [_Noise in the room on the right._]

GUSTAV [_passes in front of her toward the right_]. Whose room is that?

THEKLA [_stepping a little toward the left_]. I don't know--tell me how
you are now, and what you're doing.

    [_She goes to the table on the left._]

GUSTAV. You tell me how you are. [_He goes behind the square table on
the left, over to the sofa.--Thekla, embarrassed, takes the cloth off
the figure absent-mindedly._] No! who is that? Why--it's you!

THEKLA. I don't think so.

GUSTAV. But it looks like you.

THEKLA [_cynically_]. You think so?

GUSTAV [_sits down on the sofa_]. It reminds one of the anecdote: "How
could your Majesty say that?"

THEKLA [_laughs loudly and sits down opposite him on the settee_]. What
foolish ideas you do get into your head. Have you got by any chance some
new yarns?

GUSTAV. No; but you must know some.

THEKLA. I don't get a chance any more now of hearing anything which is
really funny.

GUSTAV. Is he as prudish as all that?

THEKLA. Rather!

GUSTAV. Never different?

THEKLA. He's been so ill lately.

    [_Both stand up._]

GUSTAV. Well, who told little brother to walk into somebody else's
wasps' nest.

THEKLA [_laughs_]. Foolish fellow, you!

GUSTAV. Poor child! do you still remember that once, shortly after our
engagement, we lived in this very room, eh? But then it was furnished
differently, there was a secretary for instance, here, by the pillar,
and the bed [_With delicacy._] was here.

THEKLA. Hush!

GUSTAV. Look at me!

THEKLA. If you would like me to.

    [_They keep their eyes looking into each other's for a minute._]

GUSTAV. Do you think it is possible to forget a thing which has made so
deep an impression on one's life?

THEKLA. No; the power of impressions is great, particularly when they
are the impressions of one's youth.

    [_She turns toward the fireplace on her right._]

GUSTAV. Do you remember how we met for the first time? You were such an
ethereal little thing, a little slate on which your parents and
governess had scratched some wretched scrawl, which I had to rub out
afterwards, and then I wrote a new text on it, according to what I
thought right, till it seemed to you that the slate was filled with
writing. [_He follows her to the circular table on the right._] That's
why, do you see, I shouldn't like to be in your husband's place--no,
that's his business. [_Sits down in front of the circular table._] But
that's why meeting you has an especial fascination for me. We hit it off
together so perfectly, and when I sit down here and chat with you it's
just as though I were uncorking bottles of old wine which I myself have
bottled. The wine which is served to me is my own, but it has mellowed.
And now that I intend to marry again, I have made a very careful choice
of a young girl whom I can train according to my own ideas. [_Getting
up._] For woman is man's child, don't you know; if she isn't his child,
then he becomes hers, and that means that the world is turned upside
down.

THEKLA. You're going to marry again?

GUSTAV. Yes. I'm going to try my luck once more, but this time I'll
jolly well see that the double harness is more reliable and shall know
how to guard against any bolting.

THEKLA [_turns and goes over toward him to the left_]. Is she pretty?

GUSTAV. Yes, according to my taste, but perhaps I'm too old, and
strangely enough--now that chance brings me near to you again--I'm now
beginning to have grave doubts of the feasibility of playing a game like
that twice over.

THEKLA. What do you mean?

GUSTAV. I feel that my roots are too firmly embedded in your soil, and
the old wounds break open. You're a dangerous woman, Thekla.

THEKLA. Re-a-lly? My young husband is emphatic that is just what I'm
not--that I can't make any more conquests.

GUSTAV. That means he's left off loving you.

THEKLA. What he means by love lies outside my line of country.

    [_She goes behind the sofa on the left. Gustav goes after her as
    far as the table on the left._]

GUSTAV. You've played hide and seek so long with each other that the
"he" can't catch the she, nor the she the "he," don't you know. Of
course it's just the kind of thing one would expect. You had to play the
little innocent, and that makes him quite tame. As a matter of fact a
change has its disadvantages--yes, it has its disadvantages.

THEKLA. You reproach me?

GUSTAV. Not for a minute. What always happens, happens with a certain
inevitability, and if this particular thing hadn't happened something
else would, but this did happen, and here we are.

THEKLA. You're a broad-minded man. I've never yet met anybody with whom
I liked so much to have a good straight talk as with you. You have so
little patience with all that moralizing and preaching, and you make
such small demands on people, that one feels really free in your
presence. Do you know I'm jealous of your future wife?

    [_She comes forward and passes by him toward the right._]

GUSTAV. And you know I'm jealous of your husband.

THEKLA. And now we must part! Forever!

    [_She goes past him till she approaches the center door._]

GUSTAV. Quite right, we must part--but before that, we'll say good-by to
each other, won't we?

THEKLA [_uneasily_]. No.

GUSTAV [_dogging her_]. Yes, we will; yes, we will. We'll say good-by;
we will drown our memories in an ecstasy which will be so violent that
when we wake up the past will have vanished from our recollection
forever. There are ecstasies like that, you know. [_He puts his arm
around her waist._] You're being dragged down by a sick spirit, who's
infecting you with his own consumption. I will breathe new life into
you. I will fertilize your genius, so that it will bloom in the autumn
like a rose in the spring, I will--

    [_Two lady visitors appear on the right behind the central door._]


SCENE IV.

    [_The previous characters; the Two Ladies._]

    [_The ladies appear surprised, point, laugh, and exeunt on the
    left._]


SCENE V.

THEKLA [_disengaging herself_]. Who was that?

GUSTAV [_casually, while he closes the central door_]. Oh, some visitors
who were passing through.

THEKLA. Go away! I'm afraid of you.

    [_She goes behind the sofa on the left._]

GUSTAV. Why?

THEKLA. You've robbed me of my soul.

GUSTAV [_comes forward_]. And I give you mine in exchange for it.
Besides, you haven't got any soul at all. It's only an optical illusion.

THEKLA. You've got a knack of being rude in such a way that one can't be
angry with you.

GUSTAV. That's because you know very well that I am designated for the
place of honor--tell me now when--and where?

THEKLA [_coming toward him_]. No. I can't hurt him by doing a thing like
that. I'm sure he still loves me, and I don't want to wound him a second
time.

GUSTAV. He doesn't love you. Do you want to have proofs?

THEKLA. How can you give me them?

GUSTAV [_takes up from the floor the fragments of photograph behind the
circular table on the right_]. Here, look at yourself!

    [_He gives them to her._]

THEKLA. Oh, that is shameful!

GUSTAV. There, you can see for yourself--well, when and where?

THEKLA. The false brute!

GUSTAV. When?

THEKLA. He goes away to-night by the eight-o'clock boat.

GUSTAV. Then--

THEKLA. At nine. [_A noise in the room on the right._] Who's in there
making such a noise?

GUSTAV [_goes to the right at the keyhole_]. Let's have a look--the
fancy table has been upset and there's a broken water-bottle on the
floor, that's all. Perhaps some one has shut a dog up there. [_He goes
again toward her._] Nine o'clock, then?

THEKLA. Right you are. I should only like him to see the fun--such a
piece of deceit, and what's more, from a man that's always preaching
truthfulness, who's always drilling into me to speak the truth. But
stop--how did it all happen? He received me in almost an unfriendly
manner--didn't come to the pier to meet me--then he let fall a remark
over the pure boy on the steam-boat, which I pretended not to
understand. But how could he know anything about it? Wait a moment. Then
he began to philosophize about women--then you began to haunt his
brain--then he spoke about wanting to be a sculptor, because sculpture
was the art of the present day--just like you used to thunder in the old
days.

GUSTAV. No, really?

    [_Thekla moves away from Gustav behind the sofa on the left._]

THEKLA. "No, really?" Now I understand. [_To Gustav._] Now at last I see
perfectly well what a miserable scoundrel you are. You've been with him
and have scratched his heart out of his body. It's you--you who've been
sitting here on the sofa. It was you who've been suggesting all these
ideas to him: that he was suffering from epilepsy, that he should live a
celibate life, that he should pit himself against his wife and try to
play her master. How long have you been here?

GUSTAV. Eight days.

THEKLA. You were the man, then, I saw on the steamer?

GUSTAV [_frankly_]. It was I.

THEKLA. And did you really think that I'd fall in with your little game?

GUSTAV [_firmly_]. You've already done it.

THEKLA. Not yet.

GUSTAV [_firmly_]. Yes, you have.

THEKLA [_comes forward_]. You've stalked my lamb like a wolf. You came
here with a scoundrelly plan of smashing up my happiness and you've been
trying to carry it through until I realize what you were up to and put a
spoke in your precious wheel.

GUSTAV [_vigorously_]. That's not quite accurate. The thing took quite
another course. That I should have wished in my heart of hearts that
things should go badly with you is only natural. Yet I was more or less
convinced that it would not be necessary for me to cut in actively;
because, I had far too much other business to have time for intrigues.
But just now, when I was loafing about a bit, and happened to run across
you on the steamer with your circle of young men, I thought that the
time had come to get to slightly closer quarters with you two. I came
here and that lamb of yours threw himself immediately into the wolf's
arms. I aroused his sympathy by methods of reflex suggestion, into
details of which, as a matter of good form, I'd rather not go. At first
I experienced a certain pity for him, because he was in the very
condition in which I had once found myself. Then, as luck would have it,
he began unwittingly to probe about in my old wound--you know what I
mean--the book--and the ass--then I was overwhelmed by a desire to pluck
him to pieces and to mess up the fragments in such a tangle that they
could never be put together again. Thanks to the conscientious way in
which you have cleared the ground, I succeeded only too easily, and then
I had to deal with you. You were the spring in the works that had to be
taken to pieces. And, that done, the game was to listen for the
smash-up. When I came into this room I had no idea what I was to say. I
had a lot of plans in my head, like a chess player, but the character of
the opening depended on the moves you made; one move led to another,
chance was kind to me. I soon had you on toast--and now you're in a nice
mess.

THEKLA. Nonsense.

GUSTAV. Oh yes; what you'd have prayed your stars to avoid has happened:
society, in the persons of two lady visitors--I didn't commandeer their
appearance because intrigue is not in my line--society, I say, has seen
your pathetic reconciliation with your first husband, and the penitent
way in which you crawled back into his faithful arms. Isn't that enough?

THEKLA [_she goes over to him toward the right_]. Tell me--you who make
such a point of being so logical and so intellectual--how does it come
about that you, who make such a point of your maxim that everything
which happens happens as a matter of necessity, and that all our actions
are determined--

GUSTAV [_corrects her_]. Determined up to a certain extent.

THEKLA. It comes to the same thing.

GUSTAV. No.

THEKLA. How does it come about that you, who are bound to regard me as
an innocent person, inasmuch as nature and circumstances have driven me
to act as I did, could regard yourself as justified in revenging
yourself on me.

GUSTAV. Well, the same principle applies, you see--that is to say, the
principle that my temperament and circumstances drove me to revenge
myself. Isn't it a case of six of one and half-a-dozen of the other? But
do you know why you've got the worst of it in this struggle? [_Thekla
looks contemptuous._] Why you and that husband of yours managed to get
downed? I'll tell you. Because I was stronger than you, and smarter. It
was you, my dear, who was a donkey--and he as well! So you see that one
isn't necessarily bound to be quite an ass even though one doesn't write
any novels or paint any pictures. Just remember that!

    [_He turns away from her to the left._]

THEKLA. Haven't you got a grain of feeling left?

GUSTAV. Not a grain--that's why, don't you know, I'm so good at
thinking, as you are perhaps able to see by the slight proofs which I've
given you, and can play the practical man equally well, and I've just
given you something of a sample of what I can do in that line.

    [_He strides round the table and sofa on the left and turns again to
    her._]

THEKLA. And all this simply because I wounded your vanity?

GUSTAV [_on her left_]. Not that only, but you be jolly careful in the
future of wounding other people's vanity--it's the most sensitive part
of a man.

THEKLA. What a vindictive wretch! Ugh!

GUSTAV. What a promiscuous wretch. Ugh!

THEKLA. Do you mean that's my temperament?

GUSTAV. Do you mean that's my temperament?

THEKLA [_goes over toward him to the left_]. You wouldn't like to
forgive me?

GUSTAV. Certainly, I have forgiven you.

THEKLA. You?

GUSTAV. Quite. Have I ever raised my hand against you two in all these
years? No. But when I happened to be here I favored you two with scarce
a look and the cleavage between you is already there. Did I ever
reproach you, moralize, lecture? No. I joked a little with your husband
and the accumulated dynamite in him just happened to go off, but I, who
am defending myself like this, am the one who's really entitled to stand
here and complain. Thekla, have you nothing to reproach yourself with?

THEKLA. Not the least bit--the Christians say it's Providence that
guides our actions, others call it Fate, aren't we quite guiltless?

GUSTAV. No doubt we are to a certain extent. But an infinitesimal
something remains, and that contains the guilt, all the same, and the
creditors turn up sooner or later! Men and women may be guiltless, but
they have to render an account. Guiltless before Him in whom neither of
us believes any more, responsible to themselves and to their fellow-men.

THEKLA. You've come, then, to warn me?

GUSTAV. I've come to demand back what you stole from me, not what you
had as a present. You stole my honor, and I could only win back mine by
taking yours--wasn't I right?

THEKLA [_after a pause, going over to him on the right_]. Honor! Hm! And
are you satisfied now?

GUSTAV [_after a pause_]. I am satisfied now.

    [_He presses the bell by the door L. for the Waiter._]

THEKLA [_after another pause_]. And now you're going to your bride,
Gustav?

GUSTAV. I have none--and shall never have one. I am not going home
because I have no home, and shall never have one.

    [_Waiter comes in on the lef._]


SCENE VI.

    [_Previous characters--Waiter standing back._]

GUSTAV. Bring me the bill--I'm leaving by the twelve-o'clock boat.

    [_Waiter bows and exit left._]


SCENE VII.

THEKLA. Without a reconciliation?

GUSTAV [_on her left_]. Reconciliation? You play about with so many
words that they've quite lost their meaning. We reconcile ourselves?
Perhaps we are to live in a trinity, are we? The way for you to effect a
reconciliation is to put matters straight. You can't do that alone. You
have not only taken something, but you have destroyed what you took, and
you can never put it back. Would you be satisfied if I were to say to
you: "Forgive me because you mangled my heart with your claws; forgive
me for the dishonor you brought upon me; forgive me for being seven
years on end the laughing-stock of my pupils, forgive me for freeing you
from the control of your parents; for releasing you from the tyranny of
ignorance and superstition; for making you mistress over my house; for
giving you a position and friends, I, the man who made you into a woman
out of the child you were? Forgive me like I forgive you? Anyway, I now
regard my account with you as squared. You go and settle up your
accounts with the other man.

THEKLA. Where is he? What have you done with him? I've just got a
suspicion--a--something dreadful!

GUSTAV. Done with him? Do you still love him?

THEKLA [_goes over to him toward the left_]. Yes.

GUSTAV. And a minute ago you loved me? Is that really so?

THEKLA. It is.

GUSTAV. Do you know what you are, then?

THEKLA. You despise me?

GUSTAV. No, I pity you. It's a characteristic--I don't say a defect, but
certainly a characteristic--that is very fatal, by reason of its
results. Poor Thekla! I don't know--but I almost think that I'm sorry
for it, although I'm quite innocent--like you. But anyway it's perhaps
all for the best that you've now got to feel what I felt then. Do you
know where your husband is?

THEKLA. I think I know now. [_She points to the right._] He's in your
room just here. He has heard everything, seen everything, and you know
they say that he who looks upon his vampire dies.


SCENE VIII.

    [_Adolf appears on the right, deadly pale, a streak of blood on
    his left cheek, a fixed expression in his eyes, white foam on his
    mouth._]

GUSTAV [_moves back_]. No, here he is--settle with him now! See if he'll
be as generous to you as I was. Good-by.

    [_He turns to the left, stops after a few steps, and remains
    standing._]

THEKLA [_goes toward Adolf with outstretched arms_]. Adolf! [_Adolf
sinks down in his chair by the table on the left. Thekla throws herself
over him and caresses him._] Adolf! My darling child, are you alive?
Speak! Speak! Forgive your wicked Thekla! Forgive me! Forgive me!
Forgive me! Little brother must answer. Does he hear? My God, he doesn't
hear me! He's dead! Good God! O my God! Help! Help us!

GUSTAV. Quite true, she loves him as well--poor creature!


  [_Curtain._]




AUTUMN FIRES

  A COMEDY

  BY GUSTAV WIED
  TRANSLATED BY BENJAMIN F. GLAZER.


  Copyright, 1920, by Benjamin F. Glazer.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS

    HELMS,     }
    KRAKAU,    }
    HANSEN,    }
    JOHNSTON,  } [_Old Men, inmates of an old men's home_].
    HAMMER,    }
    BUFFE,     }
    BOLLING,   }
    KNUT [_An eighteen-year-old boy_].


  The professional and amateur stage rights are reserved by the
  translator, Mr. Benjamin F. Glazer, Editorial Department, _The Press_,
  Philadelphia, Pa., to whom all requests for permission to produce the
  play should be made.



AUTUMN FIRES

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT BY GUSTAV WIED


    [_The room of Helms and Krakau in the Old Men's Home. The time
    is afternoon of a late September day. There is a window at right
    looking out on the street and another at left overlooking a
    courtyard. There is a single door back center which opens into a
    corridor on both sides of which are similar doors in long regular
    rows and at the end of which is a stairway from the lower floors._

    _An imaginary line divides the room into two equal parts. Helms
    lives on the street side and Krakau on the side nearest the
    courtyard. In each division there is a bed, chiffonier, a
    cupboard, a table, a sofa and several chairs. The stove is on
    Krakau's side, but by way of compensation Helms has an upholstered
    arm chair with a tall back. A lamp hangs in the exact center of
    the ceiling._

    _Though there is a low screen which can be used as partial
    partition between the two divisions it is now folded and standing
    against the back wall, and the two tables are placed down center,
    end to end, so that the place is for all present purposes a single
    room._

    _Helms' side is conspicuously ill kept and in disorder; Krakau's
    side is spick and span. On Helms' table there is a vase filled
    with flowers and near it a pair of gray woolen socks and a pair of
    heavy mittens. There is also a photograph of a boy in a polished
    nickel standing-frame._

    _Helms, his spectacles on his nose, sits in his great arm chair at
    the table and reads a newspaper._

    _Krakau sits next to him working out a problem on a chess board._

    _There is a short pause after the curtain rises._]


KRAKAU. There, I've done it again.

HELMS [_without looking up from his paper_]. It's easy enough if one
cheats.

KRAKAU. Who cheats?

HELMS. Well, year after year you work out the same problem. Anybody can
do that.

KRAKAU [_rearranging the chessmen_]. You can't.

HELMS. Just try another problem once, then see how smart you are.

KRAKAU. I'm quite satisfied with this one. [_Moves a piece._] Going to
have chocolate to-day?

HELMS [_contemptuously_]. Chocolate! What for?

KRAKAU. I thought on account of it being your birthday--

HELMS. Chocolate! That's a drink for women. On my birthday I serve wine.

KRAKAU. Hmmm! Wine, eh? Who's coming?

HELMS. Just one floor.

KRAKAU. Bolling too?

HELMS. I suppose Buffe will bring him along.

KRAKAU. And he won't have a word to say.

HELMS. He never has a word to say.

KRAKAU. No, never.

HELMS. Must you rattle those pieces like that?

KRAKAU. Can I help it if they are heavy? [_Moves them more carefully._]
You are always complaining about noise. You only do it to remind me how
well you can hear.

HELMS. Your hearing has gotten a good deal worse this year, hasn't it?
Hansen says so, too.

KRAKAU. Hansen! A lot he knows! [_Moves a piece._] Is there anything
about you in the paper?

HELMS. Nonsense! What should there be?

KRAKAU. Your eightieth birthday. They put all kinds of foolishness in
the papers these days.

HELMS. Didn't you hear what I said? There is nothing.

KRAKAU. I heard you.

HELMS [_regards him distrustfully over his spectacles_]. Have you been
reading this paper while I was out?

KRAKAU [_loftily_]. I always read the paper at night, you know.
Newspaper ought to be read by lamplight.

HELMS. Boasting about your eyesight again.

KRAKAU. Yes, I have excellent eyes. [_Knocks solemnly on wood._]

HELMS. Did you read the "personal notes"?

KRAKAU [_indignantly_]. I told you I haven't touched your old paper.

HELMS. My son-in-law has been appointed postal inspector.

KRAKAU. Postal Inspector! That's not a very high office. I suppose that
is why Knut hasn't turned up to-day.

HELMS [_resentfully_]. You haven't congratulated me.

KRAKAU. Because he's a postal inspector? Hump! Congratulations. [_Pushes
aside the chessboard and rises._]

HELMS [_ironically_]. Thanks. Ah, if my daughter had lived, she would be
proud.

KRAKAU [_over his shoulder_]. If Mary's gray cat had been a horse she
could have gone riding in the park.

HELMS [_regarding him sharply over his glasses_]. Do you know what I
have noticed, Krakau? [_Krakau does not answer._] I have noticed that
whenever I mention my son-in-law you get mad.

KRAKAU. So?

HELMS [_querulously_]. Yes you do. I noticed it long ago. I don't see
what you've got against him. His son Knut is your godson, too.

KRAKAU. We'll not talk about that, Helms.

HELMS. But I want to talk about it. We have been friends for sixty
years, you and me, and--

KRAKAU [_suddenly_]. Why didn't Knut send regards to me in his birthday
letter?

HELMS. Ha, you're jealous, that's what you are. After all, it's my
birthday, not yours.

KRAKAU. He never forgot to send regards to _you_ on _my_ birthday.

HELMS [_beating his breast_]. Well, he's my grandson and he's only your
godson.

KRAKAU [_incredulously_]. So--e?

HELMS. Well, isn't he your godson?

KRAKAU. Yes.

HELMS. Then why do you say so--e like that?

KRAKAU [_restraining himself_]. We'd better not talk about that. I told
you so before.

HELMS. But, damn it, I insist upon talking about it. I want to know what
you mean.

KRAKAU. That's all right.

HELMS. It isn't the first time you've made the same stupid remark.... Do
you mean to insinuate that he isn't my grandson? Is that what you're
driving at?

KRAKAU. For the third time, let's drop the subject. [_Down in the
courtyard a hand organ begins to play._] There's the old organ
grinder.... This is Thursday.

HELMS. You needn't tell me. I can hear for myself.

KRAKAU. It's your turn to give him something.

HELMS. I have no small change. Lay it out for me.

KRAKAU. Remember you owe me for the pack of matches.

HELMS. This will make seventeen.

KRAKAU. [_Wraps a coin in a bit of paper._] I just want to make sure
you've got it right. You always argue about it afterwards.

HELMS. Hmm!

KRAKAU. [_Opens the window, throws out the coin. The music plays more
vigorously, then suddenly stops._] The porter is chasing him away.... I
suppose it's because Larsen is sick downstairs.

HELMS [_laughs angrily_]. Huh! You were in an awful hurry about throwing
that money down, weren't you? Well, I won't pay you for that.

KRAKAU [_hastily closing the window_]. What kind of a way is that?

HELMS. You should have waited until he'd played a few tunes.

KRAKAU. How was I going to know the porter would chase him away?

HELMS. That's your lookout. You should have waited, then you would have
seen, I won't pay you back.

KRAKAU. You're a damned old swindler, Helms, and you always were.
[_Turns away and pulls out his pipe._]

HELMS [_sees the pipe_]. I can't bear tobacco smoke to-day; my throat's
too bad.

KRAKAU. Let me tell you something; I take no orders from you.

HELMS. I'll complain to the superintendent. Smoke hurts my throat, and
you know it.

KRAKAU. Huh! Won't you complain to your postal clerk son-in-law, too?

HELMS. No, but I'll tell Knut when he comes. I don't see why I let you
be his godfather anyway. They wanted some one else, but I said: "No,
let's ask Krakau; it will please him." I was a fool.

KRAKAU. You asked me because you knew I'd give him a handsome present.
Old miser that you are!

HELMS. But you've always been jealous because I am his grandfather while
you are only his godfather.

KRAKAU. So--!

HELMS [_furious_]. Don't you dare to smoke, do you hear!

KRAKAU. Who's smoking? [_Puts the pipe back in his pocket._]

HELMS. You needn't pretend you are not jealous. Why, when my daughter
was alive and came to visit me here you used to crawl over to your own
side and hide your envious face.

KRAKAU. She didn't come to see me.

HELMS. Well, you might at least have been polite.... But you were always
a false friend. You never forgave me for having a wife and family while
you were a lonely old bachelor.

KRAKAU. So--e!

HELMS. Don't make that nasty noise! It's true; you know it's true. To
this day I remember how angry you were when Andrea was born. For two
years you didn't set foot in my house. You said you couldn't bear
children about.... But if she had been your own child--

KRAKAU. Can't you talk about anything else?

HELMS. And you wouldn't come to my wife's funeral either. I shall never
forgive you that, Krakau,--the wife of your best friend--and now you
want to smoke though you know I have a weak throat.

KRAKAU. Why will you talk like an idiot? Don't you see the pipe is in my
pocket.

HELMS. Well, you were going to smoke, weren't you? And there's another
thing: It never occurred to you to congratulate me when I told you my
son-in-law had been made a postal clerk.

KRAKAU [_ironically_]. I do congratulate you. But you needn't be so
stuck up about it. He's not the only postal inspector in the world.

HELMS. Who's stuck up? Not a bit of it! I was thinking of Knut. He'll be
better provided for now his father has a good position. Isn't it natural
for me to think of Knut's welfare? I am his grandfather.

KRAKAU. So--o?

HELMS. There you go again with your So--o! My daughter's son is my
grandson. Any fool knows that.

KRAKAU. Many a fool has believed he was a daughter's father--and wasn't.

HELMS. What's that? My daughter...? You are an idiot.

KRAKAU. Do you remember what happened to Adam Harbee?

HELMS. That has nothing to do with the case. My wife was not that sort
of a woman. You'll concede that.

KRAKAU. Ye-es.

HELMS. Well, then--but what can an innocent old bachelor like you know
of such things.

KRAKAU. Are you going to talk stuck up again, Helms?

HELMS. Sure I will: I am too stuck up to let an ignorant bachelor like
you teach me what's what about married life. What do you know about it?
Virgin!

KRAKAU [_infuriated_]. I'll tell you what I know about it. You are not
Andrea's father at all.

HELMS [_laughs incredulously_]. Ain't I? Well, if I may take the liberty
to ask, who is her father?

KRAKAU. That's all right. We'll not talk about it any more.

HELMS. Oh yes, we will! Who is her father, if I am not?

KRAKAU. That's all right.

HELMS. Just empty talk, eh? I might have known it. You just say such
things because I owe you seventeen pfennig.

KRAKAU. Twenty-seven! I laid out ten for cake last Friday.

HELMS. Twenty-seven, then. And that's why you make up these stories to
annoy me.

KRAKAU.. Have it your way.

HELMS [_whimpering_]. Why don't you speak out, then? If I am not
Andrea's father, who is? You can't leave it like this. Who is the man
you accuse, eh? Was it Axel?

KRAKAU [_scornfully_]. No.

HELMS. Or Summensen?

KRAKAU. Do you suppose Caroline would mix up with a couple of swine like
that?

HELMS. Of course I don't. It's you that's been putting such things in my
head. You don't know what you are talking about.

KRAKAU. I know what I know.

HELMS [_pounds on the table_]. Who was he then? Speak up or admit that
you are a filthy liar.

KRAKAU [_with sudden determination_]. I was her father. Now you know it.

HELMS [_derisively_]. You!... Ha, ha, ha!... You! God knows how you hit
on that idea. Do tell us about it.

KRAKAU [_savagely; he is on his own side of the room now_]. Yes, I'll
tell you about it.... With pleasure, my dear Helms!... I had made up my
mind to carry the secret with me to the grave ... but I can't stand your
overbearing ways any more.... Now it comes out.... And thank God for
it.... You were a devil to your wife and you have been a devil to me,
Helms, all the fifteen years we have lived in this room.

HELMS. Ha, ha! So I've been a devil, eh? The things one lives and
learns!

KRAKAU. Yes, a devil--a devil on wheels. You whine and crow and fuss and
scold ... nothing suits you ... no matter how hard I try ... and you are
mean and niggardly.... Every pfennig must be pulled out of you like a
tooth.

HELMS. I don't throw my money in the street.

KRAKAU. Nobody throws his money in the street, but you can't get along
without spending money, can you?

HELMS. No.

KRAKAU. No, but you expected Caroline to. Instead of money you gave her
compliments. Naturally she came to me for help. She had to have pin
money and clothes.

HELMS. And you gave her money.

KRAKAU. Of course I did.

HELMS. Yes, what then?

KRAKAU. Of course it was humiliating to her. She was very unhappy. I did
my best to console her.

HELMS. And then Andrea was born.

KRAKAU. Yes.

HELMS [_bitterly_]. That was ... that was powerful consolation, Krakau,
I must say.... But tell me how you are so sure that Andrea was your
daughter.

KRAKAU. Caroline told me herself. Besides, didn't I know that she had
lived with you ten years before and never had a child.

HELMS [_pathetically_]. No. [_With a flash of anger._] Why didn't you
tell me this before?

KRAKAU [_who is half sorry now_]. Why should I have told you?

HELMS [_without heeding him; mumbles half to himself, shaking his
head_]. And if she was your daughter, then Knut is your grandson and you
are also his godfather ... and to me he is nothing [_bows his head_]. I
am eighty years old to-day, Krakau.... It is hard to be told such a
thing when you are eighty....

KRAKAU [_has gone over to him, sympathetically touching his shoulder_].
I'm sorry, Helms. I wish I hadn't told you. But you made me so angry it
just popped out.... But don't worry ... everything will be just the same
as before--

HELMS [_shakes his head mournfully_]. No.

KRAKAU. But yes! I don't want him all for myself. We can share him,
can't we?

HELMS. Share him?

KRAKAU. Of course. Instead of being your grandson Knut will be _our_
grandson, that's all.

HELMS [_sits up proudly_]. Knut is nothing to me.

KRAKAU. But nobody knows that.

HELMS. He is a perfect stranger.

KRAKAU. But nobody knows it except you and me--don't you see?

HELMS. You would throw it up to me every day.

KRAKAU. Never! We should be equal partners. And oh, the long talks we
could have about him!... Before it was different ... you were so stuck
up about your grandson, I couldn't bear it any longer.... But now we can
both be stuck up.

HELMS [_hotly_]. No.... Go over on your own side. I don't want you
here.... I want to be alone.

KRAKAU. Helms....

HELMS. Get out of here, I say.... And take your flowers with you. I
accept no presents from the like of you.

KRAKAU. The flowers--?

HELMS. Yes, take them away. And take [_chokes over the word_] take
Knut's picture, too, and the stockings his father sent.... I guess
they're yours by right.

KRAKAU [_indignantly_]. I'll do nothing of the kind. My name's not Carl
Helms.

HELMS. Well, take the flowers then.

KRAKAU [_takes the flowers_]. I can do that, all right.

HELMS. And see that you don't come on my side again without asking
permission.

KRAKAU [_walks a few paces; turns around_]. Hadn't I better straighten
up a bit before your guests come?

HELMS. You leave my things alone ... and mind your business.

    [_Krakau goes with the flowers to his own side._]

HELMS. You've got the best of everything anyhow. The stove is on your
side and the morning sun. Wouldn't you like to take my arm chair too,
and my pictures? Don't mind me, you know.

    [_Krakau does not answer. There is a pause. A clock outside
    strikes five._]

KRAKAU. The clock's striking five.

HELMS. Let it strike.

    [_There is another pause. A knock on the door is heard. Neither
    answers it. There is a louder knock._]

KRAKAU. [_Impatiently._] Why don't you answer the door?

HELMS. I'm not in the humor for company.

KRAKAU. But some one is knocking.

HELMS. What's that to me? [_There is a third knock._]

KRAKAU. Obstinate old fool. [_Loudly._] Come in.

    [_Hansen and Johnston enter. Behind them in the hallway Buffe can
    be seen with Bolling on his arm. Farther back Hammer is seen._

    [_Krakau rises, goes to the window and stands there, looking
    gloomily out into the courtyard._]

HANSEN [_leaving the door open_]. The others are coming. Well,
congratulations, Helms.

HELMS. Thank you.

JOHNSTON. Many happy returns. [_They shake hands._]

BUFFE [_entering with Bolling_]. I'll have to put him in your arm chair.

HELMS. Right over there.

BUFFE. [_Helping Bolling to the chair._] Our heartiest congratulations,
eh, Bolling?

BOLLING. Hey?

BUFFE [_speaking close to his ear_]. I say we congratulate Helms on his
birthday.

BOLLING. No. It's nothing to boast about.

HAMMER [_entering_]. Congratulations!

HANSEN. Now we're all here.

HELMS. Make yourselves comfortable. [_They all take seats._]

    [_Bolling sits rigid in the arm chair absently twirling his
    fingers._

    _Krakau, who has once or twice shown the impulse to go over to
    Helms, stirs uneasily but turns his back to his window._

    _A silence falls._

    _Suddenly Hansen begins to whistle, a tuneless mournful strain._]

JOHNSTON [_whispering confidentially_]. My dear Peter, one doesn't
whistle at a birthday party.

HANSEN [_mocking him_]. My dear Henry, mind your own affairs.

JOHNSTON. You have the soul of a greengrocer.

HANSEN. You have the manners of a barber.

BUFFE [_laughing_]. Those boys are always fighting.

HAMMER. But they can't live without each other.

BUFFE [_to Hammer_]. Aren't you lonely since Kruger died?

HAMMER. It is lonesome sometimes, but I have more room now.

BUFFE. My wrists are so full of rheumatism I can hardly bend them any
more.

HAMMER. There's something the matter with all of us. How is your throat,
Helms?

HELMS. Pretty good. [_There is silence again._]

HANSEN. Fine weather to-day.

JOHNSTON. Regular birthday weather.

HAMMER. On my birthday it always rains.

HANSEN [_points to the window_]. You can see the sun from here.

BUFFE. I read in the papers about your son-in-law's appointment.

HELMS [_shortly_]. Yes?

JOHNSTON. Yes, we must congratulate you over again.

HANSEN. Helms is the luckiest man in the place.

HAMMER. Has your grandson been here yet?

HELMS. No.

BUFFE. Of course he's coming.

HELMS. I don't know.

JOHNSTON. Of course he'll come on your birthday. He's a fine young
fellow.

HANSEN. Yes, indeed, Helms, you should be proud of him.

HAMMER [_sees Knut's portrait_]. There he is. [_All except Helms and
Bolling look at the picture._]

HANSEN. Looks something like his grandfather.

JOHNSTON. Yes, it's a striking resemblance.

HAMMER. The nose.

JOHNSTON. And the eyes--look at the eyes.

HANSEN. Yes.

BUFFE. We are looking at his grandson's picture, Bolling.

    [_Bolling stares indifferently. Helms casts apprehensive glances
    at Krakau._]

HAMMER. Look at the gifts.

HANSEN. He's a lucky man.

JOHNSTON [_with a sigh_]. Ah yes, when you have your family--

BUFFE [_showing the stockings_]. Helms got some wonderful birthday
presents, Bolling.

BOLLING [_feeling them_]. Good wool.

HANSEN [_suddenly_]. What is Krakau doing over there?

HELMS [_angrily_]. Yes, why don't you stop skulking over there like a
homeless dog.

BUFFE [_to Hammer_]. They have quarreled.

HAMMER. I guess so. [_To Hansen._] Have they had a fight?

HANSEN. I don't know.

JOHNSTON. That's right, be sociable, Krakau.

HELMS [_irritably_]. Why don't you get the wine, Krakau?

KRAKAU. How should I know--

HELMS [_interrupts_]. You know it is in the closet. [_Krakau takes
bottle and glasses from the cupboard._]

HAMMER [_delighted_]. Did you say wine?

BUFFE. Wine! Did you hear?

HANSEN. You might think Helms was a postal inspector himself.

JOHNSTON. More than that! He's a millionaire in disguise. Krakau can
tell you--he has stockings full of good red gold.

    [_Krakau pours the wine. All watch with eager eyes. The sun now
    shines full in the room._]

KRAKAU. Hadn't we better push the tables together.

HELMS [_petulantly_]. No. It's my birthday. And we can do very well
without your table.

HAMMER. There'd be more room with both tables.

BUFFE. We can't all sit around one table.

HELMS. All right--push them together. [_They do so._]

JOHNSTON. We must fix our tables this way, too, Peter.

HANSEN. All right.

BUFFE [_to Bolling_]. Come over to the table; we are going to have wine.

    [_Bolling stands up. They move his chair to the table. He sits
    again._]

HANSEN. Why are you so quiet, Bolling?

BOLLING. Everything there is to say has been said.

JOHNSTON. He's a smart man. [_Nods admiringly._]

HANSEN. Ha, ha, ha!

BOLLING [_suddenly to Krakau_]. What's that you are pouring?

KRAKAU. Sherry.

BOLLING [_angrily_]. I can't stand port wine.

KRAKAU. Yes, but this is sherry.

BOLLING. Port wine is poison.

HAMMER. But this is sherry.

BOLLING. Port wine is poison.

BUFFE. Yes, Bolling; but this is sherry; it won't hurt you.

BOLLING. Poison--port wine is.

JOHNSTON [_raising his glass._] Many happy returns!

HAMMER. Many future birthdays!

HANSEN. Happy ones!

BUFFE. Bolling, we are drinking to Helms.

BOLLING. It isn't port wine, is it?

BUFFE. No, indeed,--sherry.

BOLLING. I da'sn't drink port.

BUFFE. It's a toast to Helms.

BOLLING. Why?

BUFFE. He's eighty years old to-day.

BOLLING. I am ninety-two. That's nothing to be glad about.

    [_All except Bolling raise their glasses. They utter cheery
    exclamations and drink._]

HELMS. Thanks; thank you!

BOLLING [_raising his glass_]. Congratulations, Helms. I hope you never
get as old as me.

HAMMER [_angrily_]. That's no way to talk, Bolling.

HANSEN. He's spoiling the whole party.

BUFFE [_apologetically_]. Bolling's tired of living.

JOHNSTON. You're joking.

BUFFE. No; really he is. He wants to die.

JOHNSTON. Nonsense! How can any one _want_ to die? It's against human
nature.

KRAKAU [_who has taken cigars from the cupboard_]. Who wants to smoke?

HANSEN [_with delight._] Cigars too!

    [_Krakau passes the cigars. Hansen, Hammer and Johnston each take
    one. The sun now shines on the table and men._]

BUFFE. The sun is as red as wine.

HANSEN [_with a sigh_]. Autumn is coming.

HANSEN. We've had Autumn weather for two weeks past.

HELMS. Unseasonable weather! I hate it. [_During the entire scene he has
been ill at ease, casting frequent apprehensive glances at Krakau, who
avoids his gaze._]

BUFFE. It isn't like it used to be.

HAMMER. No. When the calendar said _Summer_ we _had_ Summer.

BOLLING [_apropos of nothing_]. I am ninety-two.

BUFFE [_explaining apologetically_]. He always says that. It's on his
mind.

KRAKAU. I hear that the nurse downstairs is engaged to be married.

HANSEN. Yes, with the doctor.

JOHNSTON. The hospital doctor?

KRAKAU. Yes; he's a sick man himself.

HAMMER. Then it's a good thing she's a nurse.

HELMS. Every young woman ought to be trained as a nurse.

BUFFE [_to Bolling_]. The nurse in the hospital is going to marry the
doctor.

BOLLING. I was married, too.

HELMS. Fill the glasses, Krakau. [_Krakau does._]

BUFFE. How is Larsen's brain fever getting along?

HANSEN. He must be worse. The porter chased the organ grinder away.

HAMMER. I thought I heard the organ. Is this Thursday?

KRAKAU. Thursday, September twentieth.

HELMS [_testily_]. Don't show off, Krakau.

JOHNSTON [_raises his glass_]. Here's health. Splendid sherry.

KRAKAU [_to Buffe_]. Why aren't you drinking?

BUFFE. Thanks. I never take more than one glass. This sunshine warms you
as much as wine.

HAMMER. I have the morning sun in my window.

HANSEN. So have I. It wakes me up every morning. It's supposed to be
healthy.

HELMS. Krakau stole it from me.

KRAKAU. You know very well that--

HELMS. Yes you did. And the stove, too.

KRAKAU. The stove--

HELMS. Isn't the morning sun on your side?

KRAKAU. Yes, but--

HELMS. And the stove, too?

KRAKAU. Didn't you--

HELMS. Nothing of the kind. You live on the east side, and the morning
sun is healthiest.

KRAKAU. We can change, for my part.

HELMS. Do you hear that? Now he wants to steal my view of the street,
too?

HAMMER. What do you old friends want to quarrel for?

JOHNSTON. And on your birthday.

HELMS. Who is quarreling?

BUFFE. You may be well satisfied with the afternoon sun, Helms. See how
beautifully it shines in the window. Look at the sun, Bolling.

BOLLING. I've seen it before.

BUFFE [_explaining with pride_]. Bolling used to be a carpenter, you
know. He traveled all over the world.

BOLLING. I have seen everything.

    [_There is a rap at the door. Silence. Krakau opens it, Knut
    enters._]

KNUT [_to Krakau_]. Hello, Grandpop! [_To Helms, shaking his hand._]
Congratulations, grandfather. [_To the others._] Hello, everybody.

    [_The old men nod their heads, delighted. Buffe whispers to
    Bolling._]

BUFFE. It's Knut. The son of Helms' daughter.

BOLLING. I had a son.

HELMS. I'm glad you came my--my son [_glares at Krakau defiantly._]

KNUT. I can only stay a minute. Have you heard about father's
appointment?

JOHNSTON. He's been bragging to us about it, sonny.

HAMMER. And treated us to sherry.

BOLLING. Port wine is poison.

HANSEN. And cigars.

KNUT. Not really!

HELMS. Why don't you hang up your cap?

KNUT. I must be off in a minute. Back to school. I had only an hour's
leave, and it takes half an hour to ride each way.

BUFFE. How old are you, my boy?

KNUT. Seventeen.

BUFFE. It's sixty-one years since I was that young. He's only seventeen,
Bolling.

BOLLING. I was seventeen--once. Now I'm ninety-two.

HAMMER. I am seventy-three.

KNUT. Let's add up the number of years in this room.

HELMS. There's too many. It can't be done.

KNUT [_with a laugh_]. Let's try. [_Rapidly._] Mr. Bolling is 92 and
grandfather is 80; that's 172.

HELMS. There's quick counting for you!

KNUT. How old are you, Mr. Buffe?

BUFFE. Seventy-eight.

KNUT. That's 250.

HAMMER [_in wonderment_]. Two hundred and fifty!

KNUT. And you, grandpop?

KRAKAU. Seventy.

KNUT. 320. And you, Mr. Hammer?

HAMMER. Seventy-three.

KNUT. 393.

JOHNSTON. Think of that!

KNUT. And Mr. Hansen?

    [_All the old people except Bolling and Hansen, snigger. Hansen
    turns away, offended._]

KNUT. Don't you know how old you are, sir?

HANSEN. Of course, I know.

HELMS. He's ashamed to tell you. Ha, ha!

BUFFE. He's afraid. Ha, ha!

HANSEN. Who's afraid? [_Reluctantly._] I'm only sixty.

THE OLD PEOPLE. "Only a boy." "Not dry behind the ears." "He'll grow."
"Poor child."

KNUT. That makes 453.

JOHNSTON [_beats his chest_]. I am seventy-five.

KNUT. That gives us 528 altogether.

HAMMER. Five hundred and twenty-eight! What a head the boy has on him.

BUFFE [_to Bolling_]. All together we are 528 years old.

BOLLING. What does it matter?

HELMS. We'd be older still if there weren't a boy among us.

JOHNSTON. Yes, Hansen spoils it by being so young.

KRAKAU. You'll have to hurry, Hansen.

HAMMER. Yes, so you will.

BUFFE. Why don't you take something to make you grow?

HANSEN. Oh, let me alone!

KNUT. Well, I must be going.

THE OLD PEOPLE. "What a pity." "Can't you be late for once?" "The
teacher won't mind."

KNUT. I really must. Good-by, grandfather.... Hope you live eighty years
more.... Good-by, grandpop.... Good-by, everybody. Good luck! [_He
exits._]

HAMMER. You can see him go from here. [_Goes to the window._]

HANSEN. Can you? [_Joins him._]

    [_All go to the window except Bolling, who sits stiff and
    abstracted in his chair._]

HELMS. Open it. [_He helps Johnston do so._]

JOHNSTON. There he goes.

KRAKAU. He is waving to us. [_All wave back._]

BUFFE. What a fine lad!

KRAKAU. Good-by. [_All shout good-by. Bolling does not stir._]

BUFFE [_turning away from the window, with a sigh_]. He's gone.

HANSEN [_low_]. Yes, he's gone.

JOHNSTON. It's nice to have young people around once in a while.

BUFFE [_nods sadly_]. Yes.

JOHNSTON. You have a fine young grandson, Helms.

HELMS [_with an uneasy glance at Krakau_]. Yes, I can't complain of him.

BUFFE. It's good to have a family that look after you.

HANSEN. It's good to have a family at all. Many people haven't.

HAMMER. No.

BOLLING. No. They die.

HELMS [_sharply_]. Close the window, Krakau. There's a draught. [_Krakau
closes the window._]

HAMMER. Yes, the sun is down.

BUFFE. Yes.

HANSEN. Isn't it time we were going?

JOHNSTON. These _young_ people should be early to bed. [_Laughter._]

BUFFE. It really is time to go. Thank you, Helms. It was a nice party.

HELMS. Going already? [_Glances uneasily at Krakau._]

BUFFE. It's near supper time, you know. We are going, Bolling.

HAMMER. Then we'll go too.... We enjoyed your party, Helms.

HELMS. The pleasure was mine.

JOHNSTON. Good night, Helms. Next time it's my party.

HELMS. When?

JOHNSTON. October 23rd.

HANSEN. Good-by--and many thanks.

HELMS. Not at all, not at all.

BUFFE. Are you ready, Bolling?

BOLLING. Hum! [_He rises._]

BUFFE. Good-by, everybody. [_To Bolling._] Say good-by.

BOLLING. Good-by.

    [_Krakau holds open the door. The guests file out talking gayly.
    He closes the door and their voices are faintly heard outside._]

    [_Helms bustles about uneasily._]

KRAKAU [_on his own side_]. Well, it went off very nicely.

HELMS. Yes, very well--very well.

KRAKAU. Want me to help you straighten up?

HELMS. No--I can do it myself.

    [_There is a pause. Krakau takes back his chairs._]

KRAKAU. We'll want to move my table back.

HELMS [_seizing one end of it_]. Well, come on! Where are you?

KRAKAU [_taking the other end hastily_]. Coming, coming!

    [_The table moved, there is another pause. Each is on his own
    side. Helms potters helplessly with the bottles and glasses._]

KRAKAU. Need any help?

HELMS. You stand there doing nothing and you ask me-- [_The rest is
a sullen growl._]

    [_Krakau takes the glasses, puts them on a tray and carries them
    across to left._]

HELMS. Where are you going with my glasses?

KRAKAU [_stops_]. I was going to wash them.

HELMS. Well, don't forget whom they belong to.

KRAKAU. Don't worry. [_Puts the glasses on the wash stand._] Shall I
light the lamp?

HELMS. You can't see in the dark, can you?

KRAKAU [_lighting the hanging lamp_]. Knut behaved very nicely, didn't
he?

HELMS [_moodily_]. Yes.

KRAKAU. He made everybody happy with his high spirits.

HELMS. Not me.

KRAKAU [_hastily changing the subject_]. It's funny about old Bolling.
How he's changed in the last year! He never talks any more.

HELMS. When you get to be ninety-two and not a relation in the
world--[_His voice breaks in self-pity._]

KRAKAU [_finished with the lamp, makes a little solicitous gesture
behind his friend's back, but immediately busies himself with putting
things to right_]. Where do you want these things to go?

HELMS. On the chiffonier ... next to the other.... Bolling is so old he
feels superfluous.... I am getting like that--

KRAKAU [_hastily_]. Where do these stockings and things go?

HELMS. Next to the last drawer.

KRAKAU. I guess you are all fixed now.... There's nothing else? [_Turns
from the chiffonier, having closed the drawer, and starts for his own
side of the room._]

HELMS [_suddenly_]. It's a terrible thing you've done to me, Krakau!

KRAKAU [_in surprise_]. What now?

HELMS [_his voice trembling_]. You have made my dead wife a strumpet and
my dead daughter a bastard. [_Krakau bridles and turns to him with
clenched fists. Helms continues pitifully._] And you have robbed me in
my old age of a grandson ... all I have in the world. [_Querulously
musing._] When men are young they see red and kill for that sort of
thing ... yes ... they kill.... But when you are old it's different....
I can't even be very angry with you, Krakau.... Isn't it queer?... It's
all so far back ... in the past ... impersonal ... and blurred like a
half-remembered dream.

KRAKAU [_with contrition_]. I shouldn't have told you.

HELMS. You shouldn't have told me.... No ... but you did ... and I can't
be angry with you.... I am an old fool.... After all ... honor ...
fidelity ... marriage vows ... what do they matter when there is nothing
to do but to sit and count the days until you die?

KRAKAU [_chokingly_]. Helms!

HELMS [_with a flash of anger_]. But Knut matters. He _is_ my grandson
... in spite of you.... You shan't take him away from me.

KRAKAU. I don't want to take him away from you.

HELMS. Your blood ... perhaps ... but _my grandson_--

KRAKAU [_eagerly_]. Of course, he is, Helms. We can share him between
us. Don't you see? He need never know. No one need know ... just you
and I.... We can have him together ... our own little secret.

HELMS [_looks at him_]. Nobody else will know?

KRAKAU [_solemnly_]. Not a soul. I swear it.

HELMS. Nobody?

KRAKAU. Nobody.

HELMS [_a faint smile dispels his frown_]. And when we talk about Knut
you won't say "So-o" any more?

KRAKAU. Never ... for hereafter he'll be _our_ Knut ... just as if you
were his father and I his mother.

HELMS [_the idea pleases him, considers it, then gives his assent like a
child playing a game_]. No, I'll be the mother. And we can quarrel about
him ... of course, in a friendly way.

KRAKAU. Always friendly.

HELMS. And just think--we shall have something to talk about all the
time.

KRAKAU. Especially at night ... after supper ... under the lamp.

HELMS. And when we are in bed in the dark and cannot sleep.

KRAKAU. Always about our Knut.

HELMS. Ha, ha.... Do you know, Krakau, I think you should have told me
long ago.

KRAKAU. I was afraid.

HELMS. Afraid! Absurd. What was there to be afraid about? You can see
for yourself that we are better friends since you told me. [_Goes to the
chiffonier and gets the photograph._] He does look something like you.

KRAKAU [_magnanimously_]. Oh, no! He's your wife's son all over.

HELMS [_with equal magnanimity_]. He looks a good deal like you just the
same.... Don't you want to borrow this for a few days?

KRAKAU. Why, you only got it this morning.

HELMS. Never mind. Take it.... Saturday I'll get it back from you. Then
in a few days I'll lend it to you again.

KRAKAU. Thanks. [_Takes the photograph_]. Can I borrow the paper, too?

HELMS. Sure, take it with you.... And lend me your chess men, will you?

KRAKAU [_with animation_]. I'll get it for you. [_Goes to his own
chiffonier for it._]

HELMS. We might as well move the tables together. It's more comfortable
that way.

KRAKAU. Certainly. [_Comes down with the chessboard and helps move the
tables._]

HELMS. Now you take my arm chair and read your paper. I'll play over
here.

KRAKAU. I wouldn't think of taking your chair.

HELMS. You do as you are told. [_Sits on an ordinary chair._] I can
reach better from one of these anyway.

KRAKAU. Oh, well. [_Sits in the arm chair and unfolds the newspaper.
There is a pause._]

HELMS. Why don't you light your pipe?

KRAKAU. Your throat--

HELMS. My throat is all right. Go on and smoke.

KRAKAU [_comfortably lights his pipe, relaxes_]. Well, now we'll see how
good you are at working out problems.

HELMS. I don't think I can do it.

KRAKAU [_reading_]. Sure you can.

HELMS. Look here. Would you check with the bishop?

KRAKAU [_studies the board_]. No ... that loses you the queen.... Hum
... you've sort of mixed it up.... Back with that rook.

HELMS. How's that?

KRAKAU. Brilliant!

HELMS. Knut is back at school by this time.

KRAKAU. Yes, probably studying his lessons.

HELMS. He's a boy.

KRAKAU. None better.

HELMS. Isn't it nice to talk about him like this ... calm and
friendly?... You have no cause to be jealous any more, ha, ha!

KRAKAU. And you needn't be stuck up any more, ha, ha!

HELMS. No, ha, ha! There, I've muddled it again.

KRAKAU. No, you haven't.... Just move here ... and here.

HELMS [_suddenly takes out his purse_]. By the way, I owe you
twenty-seven pfennig.

KRAKAU. There's no hurry.

HELMS. Take it!

KRAKAU. All right. [_He rises._]

HELMS. Where are you going?

KRAKAU [_at the chiffonier_]. We forgot the flowers.

HELMS. Oh, yes!

KRAKAU. They smell so fragrant. [_Puts them on the table._]

HELMS [_takes a flower and puts it in Krakau's buttonhole_]. You must
wear one.

KRAKAU [_overcome_]. Thank you, Helms, thank you. [_They bend over the
chessboard again._]

HELMS [_rubs his hands with delight_]. Now white moves.

KRAKAU [_considering_]. White moves.... I should say ... there ... that
pawn ... I'd sacrifice it.

HELMS [_picks it up with playful tenderness_]. Poor little white pawn!
[_Places it on the board._]

    [_They study the next move absorbedly as the curtain falls._]


  [_Curtain._]




BROTHERS

  A SARDONIC COMEDY

  BY LEWIS BEACH


  Copyright, 1920, by Frank Shay.
  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    SETH.
    LON.
    PA.


  BROTHERS was first presented by the Provincetown Players, New York.

  Applications for permission to produce BROTHERS should be addressed to
  Frank Shay, Four Christopher Street, New York City. No performance may
  take place without his consent.



BROTHERS

A SARDONIC COMEDY BY LEWIS BEACH


    [SCENE: _A very small room in a tar-papered shanty, reeking
    poverty. The entrance is center-back,--a few boards nailed
    together for a door. A similar door, opening into the bedroom of
    the shack, upstage right. Downstage left, a broken window. Left
    center, a rusty cooking stove. Above it, a series of shelves
    holding a few dishes and cooking utensils. Rough board table in
    the center of the room. A kitchen chair at the right of the table.
    A large wooden rocker near the stove; rope and wire hold it
    together. An arm-chair, below the bedroom door is full of
    newspapers. Several heterogeneous colored prints culled from
    out-of-date newspapers and calendars are tacked on the
    rain-stained walls. When the entrance door is open we see a
    cleared, sandy spot with a background of scrub oaks and jack
    pines._

    _The curtain rises on the late afternoon of a spring day._

    _A man of forty enters, leaving the bedroom door open behind him.
    His small head and childish face, on a tall, thin, and extremely
    erect body, resemble those of a species of putty-like rubber doll
    whose head may be reshaped by the hand. He wears a winter cap,
    blue flannel shirt, well-worn trousers with suspenders, and
    sneakers that were once white. Outside shirt sleeves are rolled to
    the elbow; undershirt sleeves are not. His shoes make no noise;
    nevertheless, he comes on tiptoe, his eyes fixed on the shelves.
    For a moment he stops and glances into the room he has just
    quitted. Satisfied, he squats before the shelves. He hesitates,
    then quickly lifts from a lower shelf an inverted cooking vessel,
    and grasps a small tin box which was hidden under it. He inspects
    the box, trying to decide whether he can pry open its lock._]


[_The voice of an old, infirm man in the adjoining room_]: Seth?

SETH [_alarmed; starts to return the box to the shelf_]. Yes, Pa? [_His
voice is pitched high._]

PA [_querulously_]. What yuh doin'?

SETH. Jest settin'.

PA. Don't yuh go near my tin box 'til I'm dead.

    [_Seth makes no answer._]

PA. D'yuh hear?

SETH. I hear.

PA. I won't heve no one know nothin' 'bout my last will an' testament
'til I'm dead.

    [_There is a pause. Seth is regarding the box intently._]

PA. Seth?

SETH [_peevishly_]. What d'yuh want?

PA. Bring me a drink.

SETH. There ain't no more water in the pail.

PA. There's lots in the well this spring.

    [_A pause. Seth continues his scrutiny of the lock._]

PA. My throat's burnin' up.

SETH. Well, maybe I kin find a drop. [_Puts the box on the shelf and
re-covers it; in doing so makes a slight noise._]

PA. What's that noise?

SETH. I'm gettin' yuh a drink!

    [_Seth strolls to the stove, lifts the top from the kettle, and
    looks inside. He finds a tin cup and fills it with water. Looking
    into the kettle again, he sees there is little water left. Why
    make a trip to the pump necessary? Back into the kettle goes some
    of the water. Cup in hand, he moves toward the bedroom. He reaches
    the door when a sagging bellied man enters from the yard. It is
    Lon, the elder, shorter brother. His face has become molded into
    an expressionless stare, and his every movement seems to be made
    with an effort. An abused man, Lon, the most ill-treated fellow
    in the world. At least, so he is ever at pains to have all
    understand. He wears an old felt hat, cotton shirt, badly patched
    trousers, suspenders attached to the buttons of his trousers with
    string, and shoes that are almost soleless. His shirt, stained
    with sweat, is opened at the throat, revealing red flannel
    underwear. When Seth sees Lon he immediately closes the bedroom
    door, silently turns the key in the lock, and puts the key in his
    pocket. For a moment the men stand looking at each other,
    reminding one of two roosters. Then Seth strolls to the stove,
    pours the water into the kettle, and planks himself down in the
    rocker. Lon glances once or twice at the bedroom door, but moves
    not to it. He watches Seth suspiciously. Finally he speaks._]

LON [_in an expressionless drawl_]. I hear Pa's dyin'.

SETH. Yuh hear right.

LON [_with a motion of his head toward the bedroom_]. Is he in there?

SETH. Yes.

    [_Lon hesitates, then moves slowly toward Pa's room. An idea
    strikes Seth suddenly and he interrupts Lon's progress._]

SETH. He's asleep.

    [_Lon stops. Seth fills his pipe and lights it. Lon takes his
    corncob from his pocket and coughs meaningly. Seth looks at Lon,
    sees what he wants, but does not offer him tobacco. Lon puts his
    pipe back in his pocket, moves to the table, sits, and sighs. He
    crosses his right foot so Seth sees what was once the sole of his
    shoe._]

SETH. What did yuh come here fur?

LON. 'Cause Pa's dyin'.

SETH. Yuh never come when he was about.

LON. Wall, no one ever seed yuh a settin' here much.

SETH [_fleeringly_]. Suppose yuh want t' know what he's left yuh.

LON. Wall, ... it warn't comfortable comin' three miles an' a quarter on
a day like this un.

SETH [_cackles_]. Sand's hot on yer bare naked feet, ain't it?

LON [_moves his feet_]. Yuh kin talk about my holey boots. If I didn't
heve no mouths but my own t' feed I guess I could buy new ones too. So
there, Seth Polland!

SETH. Jacobs offered yuh a job at the fisheries same as me.

LON. It's too fur t' hoof it twict a day.

SETH. Yuh could sleep at the fisheries.

LON. I got t' look after my kids.

SETH [_grins_]. 'Tain't my fault yuh've kids.

LON [_threateningly_]. Don't yuh talk 'bout that! [_Pause._] Yer woman
had t' leave yuh. [_Laughs._] Yuh didn't give her 'nough t' eat.

SETH [_indifferently_]. She warn't no good.

LON. She had t' leave yuh same as Ma left Pa twenty years ago. Pa's
dyin' fur sure?

SETH. Who told yuh?

LON. Ma.

SETH [_greatly surprised_]. Ma? [_suspiciously._] What you got t' do
with her?

LON. I was passin' her place this mornin'. Furst time I spoke t' her in
a year.

SETH. I ain't in two.

LON [_in despair_]. Seth, she's cut twenty cords o' wood t' sell.

SETH [_shaking his head_]. An' me without a roof o' my own.

LON. Me an' the kids wonder sometimes where our next meal's comin' from.

SETH [_as though there were something better in store for him_]. Oh,
wall.

LON [_pricks up his ears; coughs_]. If I had this house I could work at
the fisheries.

SETH. But yuh ain't a goin' t' git it.

LON [_alarmed_]. Pa ain't gone an' left it t' yuh?

SETH. Pa deeded this t' Doc last winter.

LON [_amazed and angered_]. He did?

SETH. Doc said he could live here 'till he died. But it's Doc's.

LON. It warn't right.

SETH. Wall, he had t' pay fur his physics some way. He told me yuh
wouldn't help him out.

LON. And Pa told me yuh wouldn't. An' yuh ain't got two kids t' feed.
[_Pause._] There's Pa's old shanty down the road. If I had that I could
work at the fisheries.

    [_Seth's smile is his only response._]

Pa still owns it, don't he?

SETH. There warn't no call fur him t' make his last will an' testament
if he don't.

LON [_brightens_]. He's left his last will an' testament?

SETH. Yes. I'm figgerin' on sellin' the place t' Doc.

LON [_emphatically_]. Pa ain't a left it t' yuh!

SETH. Doc'll want it.

LON [_forcefully_]. Where's the will an' testament?

SETH [_with a gesture_]. In the tin box under that there kittle.

    [_Lon hurries to the shelves, picks up the dish, and grasps the
    box._]

LON [_disappointed_]. It's locked.

SETH. An' the key's round Pa's neck.

LON. Let's git it.

SETH. Pa won't give it t' us.

LON. Yuh said he was sleepin'.

SETH. I mean--he might wake up.

    [_Lon inspects the box further._]

LON. I think I could open it.

SETH. Pa might ask t' see it.

LON. Hell. [_Puts the box back on the shelf._]

SETH. Doc'll want the place seein' as how it's right next t' this un.

    [_Lon is very nervous._]

Yuh might jest as wall go home.

LON. No, yuh don't! Yuh can't make me believe Pa's left it t' yuh.
[_Takes off his hat and mops his brow with his sleeve. The top of his
head is very bald._]

SETH. Then what yuh gettin' so excited 'bout?

LON. I ain't excited. [_Puts his hat on._] It jest makes me mad 'cause
yuh say Pa's left it t' yuh, an' I know he ain't. See? There warn't no
call fur him t' heve willed an' testamented it t' yuh. Yuh've only
yerself t' look after an' I've two motherless kids.

SETH. Every one knows how much Pa thought o' them.

LON. It warn't my fault if they thumbed their noses at him.

SETH. Yuh could o' basted 'em.

LON. They's like their Ma. Bastin' never done her no good, God rest her
soul. All the same, Pa knowd how hard it is fur me t' keep their bellies
full. Why, when we heve bread Alexander never wants less than half the
loaf! An' all the work I gits t' do is what the city folks who come t'
the Beach in the summer gives me.

SETH. Huh! Jest as though I didn't know 'bout yuh. Mr. Breckenridge told
me yuh wouldn't even contract t' chop his wood fur him. An' there yuh
sits all winter long in that God-fursaken shanty o' yourn, with trees
all round yuh, an' yuh won't put an ax t' one 'til yer own fires dies
out.

LON. My back ain't never been strong. Choppin' puts the kinks in it. Yuh
kin talk, yuh kin, Seth Polland, with a soft job at the fisheries an'
three squares a day which yuh don't heve t' cook yourself. Nothin' t' do
all winter but walk round them cottages an' see that no one broke in.
An' I'm the one who knows how often yuh walk round them cottages. I wish
I hed yer snap. [_Sits._] But I ain't never had no luck.

SETH [_defending himself_]. I walk round them cottages jest as often as
I need t' walk round them cottages.

LON. Huh! I could tell a tale. Who was it set with his feet in the oven
last winter, an' let Jack Tompkins break into them cottages--_with
keys_? [_Seth does not answer._] I could tell, I could. But I ain't a
goin' t' 'til they put me on the witness-stand. [_Pause._] But the furst
initials o' his name is Seth Polland.

SETH [_rising instantly_]. Lon Polland, yuh ever tell an' I'll skin yuh
alive.

LON. Huh!

SETH. Skin yuh like a pole-cat.

LON. Huh!

    [_Seth turns, knocks the ashes from his pipe into the stove. Lon
    rises; takes Seth's chair and rocks vigorously._]

SETH. Yuh know what I got on yuh.

    [_Lon's bravado is short-lived. He rocks less strenuously._]

SETH. Yuh thought I didn't see yuh, but I was right on the spot when yuh
set fire t' Mr. Rogers' bath-house.

    [_Lon stops rocking._]

SETH. Right behind a jack pine I was an' seed yuh do it. An' yuh done it
'cause Mr. Rogers leaved Jessup paint the house when yuh thought yuh
ought t' had the job.

LON [_rises_]. I got t' be a gettin' home a fore dark an' tend t' my
stock.

SETH. Stock? [_Cackles. Pulls out his tobacco-pouch and fills his pipe.
Lon shows his pipe again._] A blind mare an' a rooster. [_Drops pouch on
the table as he lights his pipe._]

LON. Rooster's dead. [_Moves stealthily toward the table._]

SETH. What of?

LON. Pip.

SETH. Starvation.

LON. I would a killed him this long time, but Victoria howled so when I
threatened. The fowl used t' wake me in winter same as summer with his
crowin'.

    [_As Lon finishes his speech he reaches for the pouch. But Seth's
    hand is quicker. Seth moves to the rocker and sits, dangling the
    pouch temptingly by one finger. Lon puts his pipe in his pocket._]

SETH. Should think yuh'd want t' set round 'til Pa dies, bein' as yer so
sure he's left yuh his property.

LON. He oughter a left it t' me.

SETH. Well, I'm a tellin' yuh it's mine.

LON. Yuh ain't got no right t' it. [_Mops his head again._] Pa begged
yuh t' come an' live with him, offered yuh this fine roof over yer head,
an' yuh was too cussed even t' do that fur him. An' now yuh expect he's
made yuh his heir.

SETH. I've treated him righter 'an yuh.

LON. Yuh ain't.

    [_Suddenly something seems to snap in Seth's brain. He looks as
    though he were in intense pain._]

SETH [_gasping_]. Maybe he's left it t' the two o' us!

LON. _What?_

SETH. Maybe he's divided the place a 'tween us.

LON [_shakes his head_]. Oh, he wouldn't be so unhuman as that.

SETH. He would. He was always settin' one agin' t' other.

LON. He used t' tell me I had t' figger how t' git the best o' yuh or
he'd baste me.

SETH. He was all the time whettin' us on when we was kids.

LON. It was him showed me how t' shake my old clock so it'd run fur five
minutes, an' then you'd swop that pail yuh found fur it.

SETH. Huh! He give me his gum t' stop up the hole in that pail. Yuh
wouldn't know it leaked an' we could laugh at yuh when you had t' carry
water in it.

LON [_pathetically_]. There warn't never more 'an a pint left when I got
t' the house. An' Pa always hed such a thirst.

SETH. He'd like t' laugh at us in his grave.

LON. It jest tickled him t' raise hell a 'tween us.

SETH [_rises_]. I'll take my oath he's divided the old shanty an' the
two acres a 'tween us. [_Drops into his chair like a condemned man._]
An' I figgered I'd be sellin' them t' Doc t'morrow.

LON. Me an' the kids was a goin' t' heve a garden on the cleared spot.

SETH. A garden in that sand?

LON. Radishes an' rutabagas.

SETH [_persuasively; his manner becomes kind_]. Lon, what yuh need is
the shanty.

LON [_droning_]. The shanty ain't no good t' me without I hes the ground
fur it t' set on.

SETH. Yuh can tear it down an' use the lumber t' mend yer old leaky one.

LON. I want the shanty t' live in so I kin git a soft job at the
fisheries. [_Sympathetically._] You ought t' have a shanty, Seth.
Supposin' yuh was t' take sick. They wouldn't keep yuh at the fisheries
then. Yuh take my place an' give me Pa's.

SETH [_flashing into anger_]. I want the two acres t' sell Doc. Yer old
place leaks like a net! [_Then, fearing he has been too disparaging:_]
But yuh could make it real comfortable with the lumber in--

LON [_cutting in_]. I'll make a bargain. I'll leave yuh a bed-stead an'
a table if yuh'll take my place.

SETH. I don't want it! I want Pa's old place.

LON. An' I want it. I'm older 'an yuh.

SETH. I got the best claim t' it.

LON. Yuh ain't. We with three mouths t' feed. Yer a swindler, yuh are.
Yuh always tried t' cheat me.

SETH. No one kin say that t' me. I'm an honest man. But I'm a goin' 't
heve the two acres if I heve t' go t' law.

LON. Wall, yuh ain't a goin' t' wreck me.

SETH [_calmly; philosophically again_]. Maybe yer right, Lon, when yuh
say I ought t' have a roof. I'll tell yuh what I'll do, seein' as how
yer my brother. Yuh give me the ground an' the house on it, an' I'll
make yuh a present o' twenty-five dollars.

LON. That's a lie! Yuh ain't got twenty-five dollars t' yer name.

SETH. Yuh think so.

LON. Every one in these parts knows yuh owes Hawkins forty-three dollars
an twenty-nine cents he kin't collect. Give me the house an' ground, an'
I'll give yuh my own house an' my note fur twenty-five dollars.

SETH. Yer note! I'm a goin' t' heve Pa's old place.

LON. An' I say that yuh or no swindler like yuh is a goin' t' cheat me
out o' it.

SETH. I ain't a swindler, yuh wall-eyed son--

LON [_advancing_]. Take it back. Don't yuh call me dissipated names.

SETH. I'll never take it back!

    [_Lon doubles his fists and strikes; but the blow lands in the air
    as Seth grabs Lon. They fight furiously and in dead earnest,
    though there is no ethics to the struggle. The rickety furniture
    trembles as they advance and retreat. Seth is quicker and lighter
    and less easily winded; but Lon's bulk is not readily moved, and,
    despite his "weak back," he can still wield his arms. It looks
    like a fight to the finish. Isn't their future at stake? And they
    are giving vent to a hatred bred by their father. But suddenly
    Pa's voice is heard, calling wildly to Seth. The men do not move:
    the voice seems to have paralyzed their muscles. For a moment they
    stand dazed. Then consciousness comes to them: they realize that
    the waiting is over. They tear to the bedroom. A silence follows.
    They must be fascinated by the ghost of the old man._]

SETH [_in the bedroom; quietly_]. He's gone, Lon.

LON [_in the bedroom_]. Yer right, Seth.

    [_Then their voices rise in dispute._]

Don't yuh take it!

SETH. I've got it!

LON. It's mine!

SETH. It ain't!

LON. Yuh kin't--

SETH. Shut up!

    [_They rush into the kitchen, Seth in advance, Lon close on his
    heels. The younger throws the cooking-dish to the floor, grabs the
    box, and hurries to the table. As though they were about to
    discover a world's secret, they unlock the box, each as near to it
    as possible, his arms tense, fingers itching, ready to ward off a
    blow or seize the treasure. From the box, Seth takes an old
    tobacco-pouch, a jack-knife, a bit of heavy cord, a couple of
    letters. These are contemptuously thrown on the table. The will
    lies at the bottom of the box. Lon snatches it. Seth would take it
    from him._]

LON. Hold off! I'm jest a goin' t' read it.

    [_Seth curbs his impatience. Lon opens the document and reads,
    slowly and haltingly._]

"I, Nathaniel Polland, o' Sandy Point in the County o' Rhodes an' State
o' Michigan, bein' o' sound mind an' memory, do make, publish, an'
declare this t' be my last Will an' Testament in manner followin',
viz--." What does "viz" mean?

    [_Unable to bear the suspense longer, Seth seizes the paper. He
    scans it until his eyes catch the all-important paragraph._]

SETH. "--Bequeath all my earthly possessions to my wife, Jennie
Polland."

    [_Their thunderbolt has descended. They stand like two men
    suddenly deprived of thought and motion. Medusa's victims could
    not have been more pitiable. They have been hurled from their El
    Dorado, which, at the worst, was to have been their common
    property._

    _Then Seth's voice comes to him, and sufficient strength to drop
    into a chair._]

SETH. The damned old critter.

LON. I'll be swaned.

SETH [_blazing out_]. That's gratitude.

LON. After all we done fur him.

SETH [_pathetically_]. An' me a plannin' these last five years on
gettin' that house an' ground.

LON. My kids are packin' our furniture this afternoon, gettin' ready t'
move in.

SETH [_with supreme disgust_]. Leavin' it t' Ma.

LON. Her who he ain't hardly spoke t' in twenty years.

SETH. Jest as though yuh an' me wasn't alive.

LON. We'd a given him our last pipeful.

SETH. His own flesh an' blood.

LON. Why, he told me more 'an a thousand times he hated Ma.

SETH. She don't need it.

LON. She's ready fur the grave-yard.

SETH. She's that stingy, cuttin' an' choppin' wood, sellin it t' the
city folks. We might a knowd.

LON. An' me a comin' all the three miles an' a quarter t' see him a fore
he died.

SETH. I been settin' here two days a waitin'.

LON. An' then t' treat us like that. [_Wipes his mouth._] Why, the hull
place ain't worth a damn!

SETH. A cavin'-in shanty an' two acres yuh couldn't grow weeds on.

LON. A pile o' sand.

SETH [_rising; bursting into fire like an apparently dead rocket_]. She
ain't a goin' t' heve it!

LON. What?

SETH. I won't let Ma heve it!

LON. But how yuh goin' t' stop her? 'Twon't do no good t' tear up the
will an' testament. It's rec-ord-ed.

SETH. Don't make no difference. She ain't a goin' t' heve that place.

LON [_eagerly_]. But how yuh goin'--?

SETH. I don't know. But I'm a goin' t'.

LON. It ain't hers by rights.

SETH. Didn't she leave him twenty years ago?

LON. Why, she ain't even expectin' it!

SETH. She'll never miss it if she don't git it.

LON [_shaking his head_]. Me an' the kids packed up, ready t' move in.

    [_There is a silence. Lon deep in his disappointment, Seth making
    his brain work as it has never worked before. And he is rewarded
    for his diligence. A suggestion of his sneering smile comes to his
    face._]

SETH. Lon?

LON. Yes?

SETH [_looks about, making sure that only his brother is listening_].
Yuh 'member what yuh done t' Rogers when he didn't leave yuh paint his
bath-house?

LON [_his eyes open wide_]. Burn it?

SETH. Sh!

LON. Oh, no!

SETH. Yuh don't want Ma t' heve it, does yuh?

LON. When I burned that bath-house I didn't sleep good fur a couple o'
nights. I dreamed o' the sheriff.

SETH. Nobody knows but me. An' nobody'll know yuh an' me set fire t'
Pa's old place.

LON. Yuh swear yuh won't never tell?

SETH [_raising his right hand_]. I swear.

LON. Yuh won't never try an' make out I done it next time we run agin
each other fur district school-inspector?

SETH [_raising his right hand_]. I swear. 'Cause if I kin't have Pa's
old place, no one kin.

LON. Got matches?

SETH. Yes. An' Pa's kerosene-can's got 'bout a pint in it. [_Takes the
can from the bottom shelf._]

LON. I may as wall take these papers along with me. [_Picks up the
newspapers._]

    [_Seth moves to the table. Begins to fill his pipe. Lon takes his
    corncob from his pocket and coughs. Seth looks at Lon, meditates,
    then speaks._]

SETH. Heve a smoke, Lon?

LON. Maybe I will.

    [_Lon fills his pipe.--Seth strikes a match, lights his own pipe
    first, then hands the match to Lon._]

SETH. We're brothers.

LON. The same flesh an' blood has got t' treat each other right.

    [_Lon starts to put Seth's tobacco-pouch in his pocket, but Seth
    stops him._]

SETH. An' we wouldn't be treatin' each other right if we let Pa's
property come into Ma's hands.

    [_Seth carries the kerosene, Lon the papers. They go out the back
    door and disappear. Thus, in disgust and rage, the brothers are
    united. Then Seth's voice is heard._]

SETH [_in the yard_]. Wait a minute, Lon.

    [_Seth returns. He picks up Pa's tobacco-pouch, knife and
    scissors, glances toward the door to see that Lon isn't watching,
    and sticks them into his pocket._]

LON [_in the yard_]. What yuh doin', Seth? [_Appears at the door._]

SETH. I thought I left somethin' valuable. But I ain't. [_He leaves._]

    [_Lon and Seth pass out of sight._]


  [_Curtain._]




IN THE MORGUE

  A PLAY

  BY SADA COWAN


  Copyright, 1920, by Stewart & Kidd Company.
  All rights reserved.


  IN THE MORGUE is reprinted from "The Forum" by special permission of
  Miss Sada Cowan. Application for right of performing IN THE MORGUE
  must be made to Miss Sada Cowan, The Authors' League, New York City.



IN THE MORGUE

A PLAY BY SADA COWAN


    [PLACE: _In the morgue of a foreign city_.]

    [SCENE: _A small almost empty room with the rear wall of glass.
    Before this glass black curtains are drawn. An old man ... Caren
    ... sits at a low table, well forward, sorting and arranging
    papers, writing from time to time. A lamp upon the table, is so
    shaded as to concentrate the light and throws Caren's wicked face
    into sharp relief. The room conveys a feeling of unfriendliness,
    coldness and gloom. Caren is old, so old he is somewhat decrepit
    ... hard, shrill and tottering. His features are sharp, his
    fingers are as talons. He seems almost as a vulture ... perhaps
    for hovering too long among the unbeloved dead._]

CAREN [_calling to some one behind the black curtain_]. What was the
number of that last one?

HELPER [_putting out his head_]. Thirteen. [_He disappears._]

CAREN [_writes and repeats_]. Thirteen....

VOICES [_are heard, rough and harsh, from in back of the curtains_].
Shove that stiff up! He's got more room than what's coming to him.

CAREN [_calling, without rising_]. Who is it you're moving?

VOICE. Thirteen. Any reason why he should sprawl?

CAREN. Not a bit. Shove him along.

    [_The curtains part. There is a swift vision of brilliant light
    within, and bodies laid out upon tables of ice._]

KRAIG [_a man, scarcely more than a boy, over-wrought and hysterical,
with his hands pressed close to his throbbing temples, bursts out_].
Oh.... Oh! Let me stay here just a moment away from that horror.

CAREN [_glancing up from his writing and smiles_]. You're all the same
the first day.

KRAIG. Oh.... Oh!

CAREN. That last one got you ... eh?

KRAIG [_bitterly_]. So young ... so young!

CAREN. Must have been a good looker. Much as you can tell the way his
face is banged up. I'll bet his own mother wouldn't know him.

KRAIG [_turning aside_]. Don't!

CAREN [_titters_]. He ... he ... he! Number thirteen...! I hope he ain't
superstitious.

KRAIG. He has nothing more to fear.

CAREN [_with dread_]. There's no tellin'.

KRAIG. He's dead.... [_Enviously._] ... Dead!

CAREN [_angry_]. Fool!

KRAIG [_watching through the glass at the placid figure, enviously_].
Dead!

CAREN [_exasperated_]. Bah!

KRAIG [_suddenly has a hideous thought and turns swiftly to Caren_]. You
think it was fair...? He went of his own free will?

CAREN. Eh...? What put that into your head?

KRAIG. No clothes ... naked!

CAREN. A lot of them do that when they take the plunge. It ain't so easy
to identify them. It saves a lot of bother, too. We stick 'em on the
slabs a while and then....

KRAIG [_shuddering_]. Don't! It makes me cold ... cold! [_Again he parts
the curtains and looks through the glass._] He's so calm ... so still. I
wonder if he suffered first! [_With a clutch of hatred in his voice._] I
wonder if--he starved!

CAREN. That soft white kitten? Not much. Did you get a squint at his
hands? He's never even tied his own tie.

KRAIG [_laughs_]. And he's here!

CAREN [_looking at Kraig_]. This is a funny job for a kid like you to
pick.

KRAIG [_turning away_]. I'm not as young as I look. I've got three
little ones already. [_With deep anguish._] And another on the way.

CAREN. It's a queer hang out for a kid like you, just the same.

KRAIG [_hysterically, almost beside himself_]. I tell you ... there's
another on the way.

CAREN. What do you mean by that?

KRAIG. Nothing! [_A pause, then bitterly._] Oh there's one joy down
here. You can burrow and hide like a rat from it all. The damn carriages
don't roll by before your eyes. The women don't!... Oh, those women, how
I hate them. Their silks, their jewels, their soft white skins. Fed!
Clothed! Housed!... [_Clenching his fists._] While Martha starves! Oh,
God! They drive by laughing and I could choke them! Listen what
happened. [_He comes closer to Caren and speaks fanatically._] Yesterday
in the park I stood there ... shivering ... wondering! And all at once
the mad hate came into my heart and I felt that I could kill. [_Caren
looks alarmed._] And then.... Ha ... ha ... ha! Then.... The King....
The King drove by. [_Laughing bitterly, and with a great flourish._] And
off came my hat! [_Making fun of himself._] My hat came off my head, Old
Man, and I bowed and cringed [_vehemently_] WITH THE HATE IN MY HEART. I
could have torn the warm furs from his throat and wrapped my fingers in
their place [_his hands clench spasmodically_]. Ugh!

CAREN [_thoroughly alarmed_]. Hush.... Hush! You mustn't talk so of our
King. A nice young boy he is.

KRAIG. Oh the hate ... the hate. Perhaps it will leave me here in this
hall of the dead. [_Glancing about._] It all seems so level here. So
level.

CAREN [_with the first faint touch of sympathy_]. You're right. Here's
the one spot on earth where you get fair play. That's what I like. There
ain't no rich and there ain't no poor. And there ain't no class nor
nothing. Every man gets a square deal here ... a square deal.

KRAIG. Perhaps that's worth dying for--a square deal.

CAREN. Dying ... bah! Wait until you've seen a few more of them slung on
the slabs. You'll lose your longing for death. I'm an old man, but....

KRAIG. If only I can see more of it. If only I can bear it.

CAREN. The pay's not bad?

KRAIG. It would be bad at any price.

CAREN [_shaking his finger childishly_]. Tut ... tut! We're fair here
... fair. There ain't no flowers ... he ... he ... he ... and there
ain't no song [_he chuckles_], but....

KRAIG [_with intense passion, pacing to and fro, and never pausing,
while he speaks very rapidly_]. If only the living could have what is
spent on the dead. All the waste ... the hateful waste. Flowers wilting
in dead hands. Stones weighing down dead hearts. While living bodies
famish and living eyes burn for the sight of beauty. Oh, I wonder the
dead don't scream out at our madness. I wonder the graves don't burst
with the pain of it all.

CAREN. Have they shut me up with a maniac? Have you gone stark out of
your mind?

    [_There is a loud knocking on the door, to the right._]

CAREN [_opens it a crack and peeps out cautiously_]. What do you want?

VOICE. Let me in.

CAREN. Get away.

VOICE [_piteously, clamoring_]. Let me look once ... just once.

CAREN [_harshly_]. Got a pass?

VOICE. No ... no. Oh, let me in.

CAREN [_bangs the door shut_]. Get away.

VOICE [_brokenly_]. Let me look once ... just once. [_Caren opens the
door a crack._] Are there any ... women?

CAREN. Women? Of course, there's women ... always women. What is it
you've craving? The sight of the beauties or the smell of their stinking
flesh? Go on ... get out. This isn't a bawdy house. [_He slams the door
to and walks away._]

KRAIG. What is it he wants?

CAREN. A peep at the stiffs. Probably looking for his girl. [_He passes
out of sight, behind the black curtain._]

KRAIG. Oh! [_Cautiously he peeps after Caren, then opens the door a
crack and calls in a whisper_]. Man!... You can see the new ones
through the panel there. Lift up the curtain. There's two. A blond
haired girl and a boy. [_He turns swiftly as the curtains part and Caren
reënters. Softly he shuts the door, then stands watching into the
hallway through a glass partition._] Poor soul!

CAREN [_mumbles as he returns_]. There's something queer about that last
young stiff.

KRAIG. Number thirteen?

CAREN. Yes, number thirteen. You may have been right after all. Perhaps
it wasn't fair play to put him in the river. There's some mystery ...
something wrong. [_Tittering._] He ... he ... he! Not number thirteen
for nothing.

KRAIG [_watching outside_]. How do you know there's anything wrong?

CAREN. That's telling, Sonny. [_With deep meaning._] But you get wise
quick ... looking at the dead.

KRAIG. Ugh!

CAREN. People are telephoning and messengers are on the way. Pah ...
things like this are a nuisance. They keep one late. What are you
watching?

KRAIG. That man who was here at the door. He doesn't go away. I wonder
what keeps him here.

CAREN. Conscience! Scared to death he'll find his girl. Afraid not to
look for her.

KRAIG. You mean?...

CAREN. Oh, there's just two things drives people into the water. The
men ... 'cause they've got too little inside 'em.... The women....

KRAIG [_furious_]. Stop!

CAREN [_alarmed, yet brazen ... scratching his head_]. He ... he ... he!
Pretty clever little joke. He ... he!

    [_Kraig begins to pace the room, his hands pressed to his temples._]

CAREN. I must tell that to the boys inside. [_He starts to go._] Pretty
clever little joke!...

KRAIG [_watching, excitedly_]. There's something wrong with the fellow.
I'd better see.

CAREN [_pausing_]. You'd better shut your eyes and see nothing.

KRAIG. He is staggering.

CAREN. Let him stagger.

KRAIG. He may be ill. He may be--starving.

CAREN. He's come to a good place to lose his appetite.

KRAIG. Oh, let me see what's wrong with him ... please.

CAREN. You go out that door and you don't come back. [_A pause._] I
guess you'll stay.

KRAIG [_looks his hatred_]. Just as you say.

    [_Outside the door there is a short, sharp scream._]

VOICE. Maria!

KRAIG. He's fallen.

CAREN. He'll get up.

KRAIG. I wonder what happened.

CAREN. Perhaps he got a peep at the new blonde. [_There is now a violent
banging on the door._]

KRAIG. He's here.

    [_Caren opens the door cautiously a crack._]

VOICE [_outside_]. My woman!... Maria!

CAREN. If you can identify her shut up your racket. Go to the first door
at the right and make arrangements to take her away.

VOICE [_crushed and broken_]. Maria.

CAREN. Shut up! Bottle the tears until you get home. The first door to
the right.

VOICE [_pleading_]. Cover her. For the love of the Lord ... cover her.
Don't let her lie like that.

CAREN. Ain't she covered enough to suit you?

VOICE. Cover her ... cover her.

CAREN. Afraid she'll catch cold? Go on ... get out! [_He slams the
door._]

KRAIG [_walks to the black curtains and parts them slightly_]. His woman
... his LOVE. [_Sighing and glancing towards the door_.] Poor devil!

CAREN. What's the matter with you, Softy?

KRAIG. Nothing. I was just thinking.

CAREN. Don't be a fool.

KRAIG [_again walking back and looking at the woman_]. Couldn't we cover
her just a little? The sheet seems to have slipped.

CAREN. And no harm done. Meat's meat.

KRAIG [_dreamily_]. Her hair would cover her like a mantle. How soft and
white she is. And how happy she seems. I wonder just when that look came
into her face. It surely wasn't there when she plunged into the river.

CAREN [_annoyed_]. You ought to be nurse maid to a doll baby. What are
you anyway?

KRAIG [_indifferently_]. A dreamer ... a creator ... a starver!

CAREN. Well, you're the wrong sort for in here. This is one place where
you get down to facts; truth. No lies, no frills, no dreams. Dreams
don't count [_banging his fist for emphasis_]. Money don't count. Power
don't count ... beauty don't count. Nothing counts.

KRAIG [_hotly_]. Then it's not truth if beauty and dreams don't count.
That's what we starved for, Martha and I.

CAREN [_softening a little_]. Well, you won't starve here. It's a fair
place ... fair. The King himself wouldn't be treated no different than a
beggar. The man with brains and the man without.... [_The curtains part
and a helper enters._]

HELPER. Some one wants to blink at number thirteen. He's got two swell
dames with him. Can they go in?

CAREN. If their permit's all right. Yes. Bring them in.

HELPER. They won't come in here. They want to go in the private way.

CAREN. I know there's some mystery about number thirteen....

HELPER. Yes, there is. He's a swell ... a big one. I shouldn't wonder
if....

CAREN. Go on. Get out. [_The helper goes._]

KRAIG. Aren't you going to cover the boy before you let them enter?

CAREN. If they can't see him how are they going to know him? He ain't a
tailor's dummy.

KRAIG. It all seems horrible.

CAREN. I guess you'll never see a second day at this.

KRAIG. Oh.... Oh, I don't know.

CAREN. You think I'm going to tuck on a few extras just because he's a
swell. [_Yelling._] Don't I keep telling you 'til there's not a breath
left in my body, that there ain't no class here? [_The helper reënters
and hears the last words. He stands breathless._] Tramp or gentleman,
they're all alike. Now get that into your head and let it grow.

HELPER [_has been stammering trying to speak_]. I oughtn't to tell.
They'd kill me if they knew. It's to be kept a secret, but....

CAREN. What's the matter?

HELPER. Number thirteen.... [_Stammering._] He ... he....

CAREN. Well, what about him?

HELPER. He ain't a loafer. He ain't a tramp. He ain't even a gentleman.
He....

CAREN. Who is he? Quick!

HELPER. Our.... [_Exultantly._] Our King!

CAREN [_open-mouthed, aghast_]. Our ... King!

KRAIG [_laughing triumphantly_]. Ha ... ha ... ha ... ha--HERE! [_He
clasps his hands together._]

CAREN [_excited_]. Are you mad, Boy, mad? Our King! Oh!

    [_Kraig laughs. Both men stare at him horrified._]

HELPER [_to Caren_]. Ain't you got a flag or something ... some little
mark of respect to cover his nibs?

CAREN [_to Kraig_]. Run upstairs and get that big silk flag that....
[_as Kraig does not move_]. Go.

KRAIG [_immovable, abruptly ceasing to laugh_]. No.

CAREN [_threateningly_]. What do you mean? No?

KRAIG [_hysterically_]. This is one place in the world where all are
treated fair. Dreams don't count. POWER don't count. There's no rich, no
poor....

CAREN. Shut up and get that flag.

KRAIG. You're going to cover him ... but she.... Oh! [_Both men
disappear behind the curtains, cringing and bowing to people within.
Caren, with his back to the curtains, does not realize that he is
alone._] Even death can't level. No ... not even death. [_For a second
he stares ahead of him piercingly into space, standing taut and rigid.
Then commences to laugh in pure hysteria as_


  [_The Curtain Slowly Falls._]




A DEATH IN FEVER FLAT

  A PLAY

  BY GEORGE W. CRONYN


  Copyright, 1919, by Shadowland.
  Copyright, 1920, by George W. Cronyn.

  All rights reserved.


  Reprinted from _Shadowland_, a magazine, by permission of the
  publishers and the author. The professional and amateur stage rights
  of this play are strictly reserved by the author. Applications for
  permission to produce this play should be made to Frank Shay, Care
  Stewart & Kidd Company, Cincinnati, Ohio.

  SCENE: _In the great Far West, i. e., far from the "Movie" West_.

  CHARACTERS

    HANK [_proprietor of the Good Hope Roadhouse_].
    LON PURDY [_about whom the play is concerned_].
    MIZPAH [_his wife, called "Padie"_].
    THE STAGE DRIVER.
    THE GHOST OF HARVEY MACE.
    THE GHOST OF THE OTHER MAN.

  THE TIME _is the present, about 11 P. M._


  This is not a Bret Harte play, nor is it designed for W. S. Hart.
  And it should be performed with none of that customary and specious
  braggadoccio of western plays.



A DEATH IN FEVER FLAT

A PLAY BY GEORGE W. CRONYN


    [_THE SCENE is laid in the so-called dining-room of one of those
    forlorn hostelries of the great Plains, which goes by the name of
    Mace's Good Hope Roadhouse, a derisive title evidently intended to
    signify the traveler's hope of early escape from its desiccated
    hospitality._

    _This room is sometimes reluctantly frequented by a rare guest,
    usually a passenger on his way via auto stage, to some place else,
    whom delays en route have reduced to this last extremity of
    lodging for the night. The room is a kind of lumber yard of
    disused cheap hotel furniture._

    _Nothing can be drearier._

    _Most of this junk is heaped along the left (stage) wall, and it
    has a settled look of confusion which the processes of gradual
    decay will, apparently, never disturb. Tables tip crazily against
    the plaster of the greasy wall. Chairs upturned on these, project
    thin legs, like the bones of desert places, toward a ceiling
    fantastically stained. One table smaller than the rest, sees
    occasional use, for it stands somewhat out of the débris and has
    about it three chairs reasonably intact. A pack of cards and
    several dirty glasses adorn the top._

    _A stairway rises along the right wall, beginning at the rear, and
    attaining to a rickety landing, supported by a single post of
    doubtful strength, to which is affixed a glass lamp in a bracket.
    (Inasmuch as the stairway is turned away from the audience, those
    who ascend are completely hidden until their heads top the last
    riser.) At the right front, between the landing and the
    proscenium, a door (now shut) leads to the Bar, the one spot of
    brightness in this lump, the shining crack at its sill bespeaking
    the good cheer beyond. And that crack is the only illumination to
    this morgue of defunct appetites, for the moonlight, which enters
    by way of a small window at the right, is rather an obscuration,
    inasmuch as it heightens the barren mystery of the room's
    entombing shadows._

    _Double doors center of rear wall lead to the outside. A window on
    either side of the door._

    _So much for the melancholy set._

    _From the Bar percolates the lubricated melodiousness of the few
    regular customers who constitute the population of Fever Flat,
    with the exception of three worn-out women folks, two haggard cows
    and three hundred or so variegated dogs. The female element are to
    home, the dogs, astray and astir, with lamentable choruses._

    _Sounds from the Bar, samples only._]


A JOLLY SOUL [_hoarsely_]. Pitch into her, boys! Tune up your gullets!
[_With quavering pathos._] "She was born in old Kentucky"--

ANOTHER SUCH [_with peeve_]. Aw, shet up, that's moldy! Giv's that
Tennessee warble, Hank!

VOICE OF HANK [_rather rich and fine_].

  "When your heart was mine, true love,
  And your head lay on my breast,
    You could make me believe
    By the falling of your arm
  That the sun rose up in the west--"

    [_There is a momentary pause, filled in by--_

A VOICE. Y'oughter go courtin' with that throat o' yourn, Hank.

Mace [_as if misanthrope_]. Aw, women--

    [_During the laugh that follows, an auto horn blares outside and a
    bright shaft is visible through the rear windows._]

VOICES. Stage's come! Stage's come!

    [_There are sounds indicating the rapid evacuation of the Bar,
    and a moment later one of the rear doors is jerked open and the
    Stage Driver enters, dragging in two heavy suitcases which he
    deposits near the small table with appropriate grunts, meanwhile
    encouraging the passengers to enter._]

STAGE DRIVER. Uh! perty lumpy bags--come in, folks, come in! Seems like
you might be carryin' all your b'longings.

    [_The two passengers enter; the man, quickly, nervously, almost
    furtively; the woman, with that weariness which ignores everything
    except its own condition._]

STAGE DRIVER. Come in and set, lady; don't be skeered. Looks a little
spooky, but Hank'll have a glim fer ye in two shakes. [_Places a chair
for her._] Here, I know you're plumb tuckered. Make y'self t'home.
[_Looking around at the drear surroundings._] 'S fer 's yer able.

THE MAN. I thought the stage went through to Hollow Eye to-night?

DRIVER. Well, sir, she do, but this time she don't. I've been havin' to
run ten miles on low already and I jest don't _dast_ take her across
that thirty miles of sand the way she is. She'll drink water like a
thusty hoss and like as not lay down and die on us half way out. Then
where'd we be? No sir; you folks'll just have to camp here at Fever Flat
till I kin do a tinkerin' job to-morrow mornin'. So I'll step into the
Bar and tell Hank you're here. [_At the door to the Bar._] Hank'll do
the best he kin fer ye. He's a squ'ar man. Good-night to ye! [_Goes out,
leaving the door half open._]

THE MAN [_briefly_]. Good-night. [_Looking about._] What a hole! Like
somebody died here and they'd gone off and left it all stand just the
way it was. [_He goes to the open door at the rear and stares at the
naked moonlit buttes._] Them hills gits my goat. They're nothin' but
blitherin skeletons, and this bunch of shacks they call Fever Flat looks
like no more'n a damn bone yard to me. [_Shutting the door._] Ugh! it's
cold in here. Feel like I was sittin' on my own grave's edge.

THE WOMAN [_scarcely raising her head, and speaking with no emotion, in
a dead dry voice._] You didn't use to be so pernickety, when you was
punchin' on the range, Lon.

LON [_waspishly_]. And you didn't use to look like a hag, neither,
Padie.

PADIE [_with a momentary flash_]. Drink's poisoning your tongue, too.

LON [_viciously_]. Who's drinking? Cain't I take a thimbleful now'n then
without all this jawin'?

PADIE. You ain't takin' thimblefuls. You're just soakin' it up. You'll
be gettin' snakes if you keep on. 'n then, what'll _I_ do? [_Resuming
her air of weary indifference._] Not that I care so much what you do
with yourself--or what becomes of me. Nothing matters.

LON [_petulent and aggrieved_]. There you go, actin' abused. How 'bout
_my_ rights 'n pleasures? Ain't got none, I s'pose.

PADIE. Oh, shut up, you make me sick.

    [_Hank enters; a ruddy, vigorous, young man, strangely out of
    place among all this rubbish. He wears a barkeeper's apron and
    speaks cordially._]

HANK. Howdyedo, folks! Howdye do! Well, this is a kinda rough lay-out
fer you-all. Y'see the Stage is due here at five, and stops fer grub,
then makes Hollow Eye by about nine, but here 'tis ... [_pulls out
watch_] half an hour of midnight an' I s'pose you ain't et, yet, eh?
[_Lights the glass lamp._]

PADIE. Thanks. We've had sandwiches, but maybe my husband'd like
something.

LON [_significantly_]. Wet.

    [_Padie shrugs indifferently, and fixes her hair. As she turns
    toward Hank, the light for the first time falls full on his face.
    Padie stares fixedly at him, and half rises, with a little cry._]

LON [_with a quick, startled glance at Hank, speaks to her in a sharp,
threatening voice_]. Padie! Sit down! Are you gittin' plumb loco drivin'
out so late in autymobiles? [_To Hank, apologetically._] You kinda
flustered us, mister, cause you have a little the look a friend of ourn
that died suddint. Mournful case. Pardner o'mine. No, you're not much
like. He was tall, heavy-built and lighter complected. Must a been
consid'ble older, too.

PADIE [_almost in a whisper_]. No.

LON. Older, I say. My wife's kinda wrought up by this here little spell
of travelin'.

HANK [_sympathetically_]. Oh, you're not used to it, eh?

PADIE [_slowly and deliberately_]. We've been at it--[_draws out the
word into a burden_] years.

LON [_impatiently_]. That is, off'n on, m'dear. Only off'n on.

PADIE [_monotonously_]. All the time.

HANK [_trying to be a little jocose to break the oppressive
atmosphere_]. Should think you might hanker after yer own nest, lady.

PADIE [_rising rudely_]. Well, just keep your thoughts!

HANK [_completely abashed_]. Yes, ma'am. Your room is just at the top of
the landin'. I'll make ye a light. [_He hustles away upstairs to cover
his embarrassment, taking the suitcases with him._]

LON [_irritably_]. You're always tryin' to belittle me in public. Is
that any way fer a wife to act? I wanta know.

PADIE. What do you always lie so fer?

LON [_with rising voice_]. That's my business. I'll do as I damn please.
And don't you go too fer, crossin' me. I won't stand it. Some day I'll
up, an--

PADIE [_contemptuously_]. Beat me. That's all that's left to _you_,
wife-beater.

    [_Lon raises his hand as though to strike her, but lets it fall as
    Hank reappears on the landing._]

HANK. Excuse me, m'am. Have you your own towels by you? Ourn is pretty
scaly. It's been so long since we've had in women folks, at least,
ladies.

PADIE [_moving toward the stair_]. Thanks, we have some.

    [_Lon to Padie as Hank, hidden from audience, descends._]

LON. You might as well be decent, Padie. You ain't got none other but
me.

PADIE [_bitterly_]. Yes, you've took me from 'em. We've been trapsin and
trapsin till I'm plumb sick. Yes, I'm--

    [_Her voice breaks and she runs blindly toward the stair,
    almost into the arms of Hank, which further increases his
    consternation._]

HANK [_holding her off_]. Stidy, stidy. There's the ladder, m'am. Can't
I fetch you somethin'? Toddy?

    [_Padie shakes her head, runs up, and slams her door._]

HANK [_to Lon in friendly fashion_]. Women folks is cur'us, cur'us.

LON [_surlily_]. Take my advice and keep free from 'em.

HANK. It was a woman did fer my brother.

LON [_with increased interest_]. Oh, you've got a brother, eh?

HANK [_simply_]. Had.

LON. Where is he?

HANK. Down at Laguna Madre, Arizony.

LON [_leaning forward and gripping the edge of the table_]. Ranchin'?

HANK. Buried.

LON [_haltingly_]. How--what were you saying--about a woman?

HANK. A woman done fer him. That's what they said, I don't know. I
didn't git there fer a long time. There was a mix-up.

LON. Well, well. That's strange.

HANK [_eagerly_]. I s'pose you heard of it? It was in all the papers. It
even got as fer as Denver.

LON. No, I don't remember. But I've read of similar cases.

HANK. You've been to Arizony, I s'pose.

LON. No, not quite. I've been all around them parts, but never Arizony.

HANK. 'Tain't what you'd call a perty country, but it's mighty
satisfyin'. Too blame cold up here.

LON. Why don't you move?

HANK. I'm agoin' to, but you see my brother had half interest in this
here tavern and there was some litigation about it. Case's just
finished. I been here three years, ever since he went. But I'm pullin'
my stakes, you bet. I wouldn't be _buried_ here! Would you?

LON [_dryly_]. I'd rather not.

HANK. So she took me fer a friend that'd croaked, eh? That's cur'us.

LON. Eh? What's that? Who?

HANK. Your wife.

LON. Oh, yes. Well, he was a good ten years older. And dark-complected.

HANK. Thought you said he was light.

LON. Mebbe I did. Well, he mought have been a trifle lighten'n you, but
then, size him up by the average, he was dark. Let's fergit him. Bring
us a bottle of your best--and see that the glass is clean.

HANK. To be sure. [_Goes out._]

    [_Lon sits with his head between his hands, brooding. The voice of
    Hank rises from the Bar, rendering the second verse of the
    Tennessee "warble."_]

HANK [_in the Bar_].

  There's many a girl can go all round about
  And hear the small birds sing.
  And many a girl that stays at home alone,
  And rocks the cradle and spins.

    [_As the song ends, the door at the rear opens soundlessly,
    revealing the vast expanse of moonlit plains and desolate buttes.
    Lon shivers and turns up his coat collar, finally facing about to
    discover the cause of the chill. Observing the open door, he goes
    to it, closes and locks it, the click of the key being distinctly
    audible. He then returns and sits as before, and again the song
    comes._]

HANK [_in the Bar_].

  There's many a star shall jangle in the west;
  There's many a leaf below.
  There's many a damn that will light upon the man
  For treating a poor girl so.

    [_Now both of the double doors swing open, without sound. Lon
    shivers, then, looking over his shoulder, suddenly gets up, glares
    about him and makes hastily for the door to the Bar, where he
    almost collides with Hank entering with bottle and glass._]

HANK. Here, mister, I was just comin'.

LON. What the devil's the matter with your doors?

HANK. Them? Oh, the lock's no good. When the wind's southwest they fly
right open. Got to be wedged with a shingle.

    [_He goes over to the doors, slams them shut, picks up a shingle
    from the floor and inserts firmly between them._]

LON [_relieved_]. H'm. Well, that's all right.

HANK. Now it's blame cur'us the way old places gits. You'll hear these
floor boards creak at times like as if som'un was sneakin' over 'em
b'ar-foot. Feller told me onct it was made by contrapshun and
temper'ture. Mebbe so, but I reckon [_knowingly_] there's more goes on
around than we give credit fer.

    [_Hank dusts off the table and puts bottle and glass down. Lon
    seizes them eagerly and begins drinking._]

LON [_after a couple of glasses_]. You mean--spirits?

HANK. Well, I dunno as you'd call 'em that. But it's a fact, there's
more liquor goes over the Bar than gits paid for. 'Tain't _stole_
either. It just _goes_.... As old Pete Gunderson used to say, "I'm a
hell of a th'usty p'uson, and when I croak I'll be a hell of a th'usty
spirit." I sometimes wonder--

    [_Padie appears above, in a loose dressing sack, her hair hanging
    in a great wavy mass, and holding a pitcher._]

PADIE. Lon, please fetch some water.

LON [_not moving_]. I don't dast go out in the night. I've caught a kind
of chill from to-day's drive.

HANK [_going up the stairs_]. I'll fetch it you, m'am.

    [_She comes down to meet him and the two are momentarily hidden
    from the audience. Lon continues to drink steadily, pouring down
    one glass after another. Hank reappears, treading with a certain
    gayety, and goes out rear, whistling the Tennessee "warble."_]

PADIE [_leaning out of the shadow of the stairway toward her husband_].
Ain't you comin' up soon, Lon?

LON [_ignoring the query_]. Scarcely no resemblance whatever.

PADIE [_with sudden fierceness_]. You lie!

    [_She ascends to the top of the landing. Outside a pump cranks
    dismally._]

PADIE [_relenting a little_]. You'll be seein' things, Lon, if you keep
it up.

LON [_rising, perfectly steady_]. Mind your business. Wish to hell I had
a newspaper.

    [_He goes out through the door to the Bar, while Padie runs a comb
    reflectively through the exuberant tumult of her dark hair. Hank
    enters and stops a moment, half blinded by the light, then looks
    up, and shading his eyes, smiles._]

PADIE [_coyly_]. Is it the light in your eyes, mister?

HANK [_daringly_]. It's you, ma'am, are blinding them. [_He runs up the
stairs with the pitcher._]

PADIE [_bending toward him as he comes near the top steps_]. You'd
better reach it to me. Maybe the landing'll not hold the two of us.

HANK. It'll hold two that have such light hearts as we.

PADIE. Ah, you don't know mine, mister.

HANK [_reaching her the pitcher_]. There, the clumsy mut I am! Spillt
the cold water on your pretty bare toes!

    [_As she leans over to take the pitcher her hair falls suddenly
    about his head, almost covering his face._]

PADIE [_drawing it back, with a deft twirl_]. I've most smothered you!

HANK. I wouldn't want a sweeter death.

PADIE [_looking down into his eyes_]. Indeed, you're the picture of--an
old lover of mine.

HANK. I'd rather be the picture of the new.

    [_He makes as if to clasp her about the ankles, but she puts a
    hand on his shoulder and pushes him gently back._]

PADIE. You've been very kind to a wanderer--from Arizony. Don't spoil
it. Good-night!

HANK [_turning about, mutters_]. Good-night.

    [_He clatters loudly down the stairs as Lon reënters, studying a
    newspaper. Lon seats himself, still absorbed. Hank favors him with
    a glare of positive hatred._]

HANK [_with a sneer_]. All fixed fer the night, eh?

LON [_grunting_]. G'night.

HANK. Well, I hope you like this country better'n Arizony.

LON [_starting out of the news_]. The hell you say!

HANK. Your wife was wishing herself back there.

LON [_settling back to his paper and bottle_]. Well, that's where she
come from. I don't. Women allus want what they ain't got.

HANK [_retiring_].

  When your heart was mine, true love,
  And your head lay on my breast,

    [_He goes out, closing the door._]

  You could make me believe by the falling of your arm
  That the sun rose in the west.

    [_During the singing of this last stanza, the double doors swing
    wide as before, revealing a Figure standing motionless outside,
    bathed in moonlight. At the same time the flame in the glass lamp
    begins to flicker and wane. Lon holds the paper closer to his
    face, finally almost buries his nose in it, as if conscious of the
    Presence, but stubbornly resolved to ignore it. The Figure moves,
    and as it crosses the threshold the feeble light expires. Lon,
    however, still sits, as if absorbed in the newspaper, pretending
    to sip from the glass. The Figure in a thin mocking voice, echoes
    the song of the other, standing just behind Lon's chair._]

THE FIGURE [_a thin echo_].

  You could make me believe by the falling of your arm
  That the sun rose up in the west.--

    [_Lon picks up the soiled pack of cards from the table and begins
    to shuffle them mechanically, nor does he once turn toward the
    apparition._]

LON [_in a hoarse whisper_]. And what'r _you_ doin' here?

    [_The Figure sits down nonchalantly in a chair a little to one
    side of Lon's. He is dressed in the western style, that is,
    without style, corduroys, heavy boots, flannel shirt. In fact, he
    looks almost natural. But there is a curious dark mark in the
    center of his forehead--or is it a round, dark hole?_]

LON [_petulantly_]. Cain't you stay where you was put--with a heap o'
rocks on top o' ye?

THE FIGURE [_thinly ironical_]. Can't seem to give up the old habits, y'
know.

LON [_thickly, tossing the pack down_]. What's the hell's a corpse got
to do with habits?

GHOST [_unmoved_]. You pore fool, you'll _learn_ when you come over.

LON [_huskily_]. Come over--wh'ar?

GHOST [_significantly_]. Where I am. [_Sings in a quavering voice._]

  There's many a girl can go all round about
  And hear the small birds sing--

LON [_snarling_]. Dry up on them corpse tunes o' yourn, Harvey Mace.

GHOST [_leering_]. Oh, you recognize me, eh? You recognize your old
friend and pardner, do you, Lon Purdy?

LON [_sullenly_]. I _knowed_ you'd come.

GHOST [_triumphantly_]. And you believe in me, eh? Well, that's good,
too.

LON [_stubbornly_]. Believe? Well! I knowed I'd be seein' things soon,
what with the booze. I knowed it'd be the snakes or you. Padie told me
I'd be seein' things.

GHOST [_maliciously_]. So you believe in _her_, anyway. Well, how's
Padie--and the children?

LON. You know damn well we ain't had none.

GHOST. What, no children! How unfortunate! The house of love not to be
graced with fruit ... sterile, sterile.

LON [_belligerently_]. Er you referrin' to me?

GHOST. To your spiritual union only, my friend. Physically, I know,
nothing was wanting for a perfect match,--female form divine to mate
with big blond beast. A race of superpeople!

LON. What the hell 'r' you gabbin'? You allus had a lot of talky-talk.
That's what made a hit with Padie, before, before--

GHOST. Before the Other Man came along and cut us both out. [_Sings._]

  And many a girl that stays at home alone
  And rocks the cradle and spins.

GHOST [_reflectively_]. Yes, I'm afraid we both stood up pretty poorly
alongside him. I had the words, the brain, the idea. I could charm her,
tantalize her, quicken her mind, arouse her imagination. That's why I
cut you out with her.

LON [_sneeringly_]. Gab!

GHOST. Yes, gab. It was one better to her than mere brute--guts! You
personified strength. You didn't have nerves enough to be afraid of
anything. You had endurance, cheek, deviltry, and a kind of raw good
nature. These took with the gay, immature girl she was, until I came.
You had--Guts; I had--Gab.

LON. And the Other Feller?

GHOST. He had the Gift.

LON. What you mean?

GHOST. He was a full man. His personality exuded from him like incense.
It wrapped and enfolded you and warmed you, and yet it was not a grain
feminine, but deeply, proudly masculine. You tolerated him, I--loved
him. I had the fine passion for Padie, but when I first saw the two of
them together I _knew_ she was his, or [_with a keen, stern look at
Lon_] _ought_ to be ... and she _has_ been, always.

LON [_jumping to his feet, and knocking over his chair_]. You lie like
hell! She's mine! She's been mine all these three years! I won her and I
own her! What little of love she ever had fer you or him is buried down
in Laguna Madre with the bones of both of ye! And all hell can't take
her from me!

GHOST [_rising tall and pale_]. _He_ kin, and he's done it! You
_thought_ you'd got her. But he's had her, or rather, she's had _him_ in
her heart ever since they took the rope from his neck and pronounced him
legally dead, and justice vindicated, and laid him away in the desert.
All that time since, he's belonged to her. When you laid by her side
nights, it was _his_ arm she felt about her waist, not yours; his breath
was on her cheek, and his heart was beating against hers. Oh you poor,
poor fool!

LON [_throwing his glass straight at the ghost_]. You lyin' pup!

GHOST [_bursting into a gale of eerie laughter_]. Ha! ha! ha! you _poor_
fool! _Now_ you believe in me!

    [_Lon whips out his revolver and aims at the ghost, then slowly
    returns it to the holster, as he realizes the futility of the
    move._]

GHOST. Go on, my boy! Let's have another one here. [_He points to the
dark hole in his forehead._]

    [_Lon, wiping his own face with the back of his hand, and
    shuddering, slumps down into his seat and stares vacantly at the
    table._]

GHOST. Another one, just like the last--for your friend and pardner.
[_He stresses the words with intense irony._] Do you remember the
_last_ time you pulled that trick? What a foxy one it was! How astutely
planned! _Planned_, my friend. I remember when we two went up the canyon
together, just such a shining night as this, I asked you why you had
borrowed--the Other Man's horse, and you said, yours was a little lame.
Oh! excellent dissembler! Most crafty of liars! You _stole_ that horse.
You stole that horse to put a rope around the Other Man's neck! You knew
the pinto was shod different from any pony in those parts. You knew
where they'd track him to, when they found the job you'd done. Then we
sat down to smokes and cards. And I remember the curious glitter in your
eyes. I was dealing. [_The Ghost shuffles the cards on the table, then
lays down the pack in front of Lon._] Cut!

    [_Lon mechanically obeys._]

GHOST [_dealing_]. And after several hands, you brought up the subject
of Padie. And I told you I was out of the race--and that you'd better
get out too, because the best man already had her. And then--and then I
sensed you were going to draw, and when I had my gun out, it was empty.
Clever boy! You had it fixed right. And so you plugged me square. And
the moon and stars went out for me and I dropped into the black gulf.

    [_Lon, throwing his hand down, buries his face in his hands,
    groaning._]

GHOST [_pitilessly_]. You left me with my face to the stars for the
coyotes to find. Then, very coolly, you turned the Other Man's horse
toward home and sent him off cracking. And you jumped to a piñon log
that led off to a ledge of lava where your footprints wouldn't show. And
you turned up in half an hour with the boys in town. Then you inquired
casually where the Other Man was. You _knew_, you devil! You knew they'd
never get an alibi from him for that night, 'cause--Padie was with him.
Padie had her dear arms about his neck while you, clever dog! were out
fixing to put a rope there. And you done it, too! _Won_ her? Yes, you
did--like hell! After the trial was all over, and the dead buried, me
and him, you passed a dirty whisper around town about her, and then
married her, to save her good name. That's how you won her.

    [_There is an immense silence, broken only by the heavy breathing of
    Lon, which comes in rattling gasps._]

GHOST [_sings_].

  There's many a star shall jangle in the west,
  There's many a leaf below,
  There's many a damn that will light upon the man
  For treating a poor girl so.

GHOST. But I ain't forgot all you done for me. Neither has the Other
Man, [_with deep solemnity_] and he's come--to settle too--

LON [_staggering up_]. No! I don't believe in you! You're nothin' at
all! There ain't no--

    [_Lon sways and catches at the table; as he swings around, the
    figure of Another stands outside the door, a tall figure with
    something white twisted about its neck. Lon with a cry of horror
    puts out his arms as if to ward off the apparition and backs
    slowly toward the left wall._]

FIRST GHOST [_coming toward him_]. Murderer! betrayer! We've come to
settle!

LON [_screaming_]. No! no! no! I don't believe--

    [_He falls, and the pile of rubbishy furniture topples over on to
    him with a crash. The two apparitions vanish. The door to the bar
    is flung open and Hank leaps in, at the same moment that Padie
    appears above, whitely clad._]

PADIE. Lon! Lon! What's the matter?

HANK [_going toward the pile of stuff_]. Go back! It's something
terrible.

    [_He heaves the heavy pieces from the body and drags it out, as
    Padie, with a long cry, flies down the stairs. He feels the breast
    quickly and rises before Padie reaches the table._]

HANK. I'm afraid he's done for.

PADIE [_drawing a deep quivering breath_]. Oh.

HANK. He must 'a' fell.

PADIE. I knew--drink'd do fer him.

HANK. Did you--love him--so much?

PADIE [_very low_]. Once--a little. [_With sudden, fierce joy._] I don't
care! Now--I kin--live!

HANK [_looking out over the desert where the dawn begins to show_]. Both
of us.


  [_Curtain._]




THE SLAVE WITH TWO FACES

  AN ALLEGORY

  BY MARY CAROLYN DAVIES


  Copyright, 1918, by Egmont Arens.
  All rights reserved.

  Reprinted from No. 6, of the "Flying Stag Plays," published by Egmont
  Arens, by special permission of Miss Davies. The professional and
  amateur stage rights on this play are strictly reserved by the author.
  Applications for permission to produce this play should be made to
  Egmont Arens, 17 West 8th Street, New York.

  THE SLAVE WITH TWO FACES was first produced in New York City by the
  Provincetown Players, on January 25th, 1918, with the following cast:

    LIFE, THE SLAVE                             _Ida Rauh._
    FIRST GIRL                                  _Blanche Hays._
    SECOND GIRL                                 _Dorothy Upjohn._
    A WOMAN                                     _Alice MacDougal._
    A MAN                                       _O. K. Liveright._
    A YOUNG MAN                                 _Hutchinson Collins._
    A WORKMAN                                   _O. K. Liveright._
                            _And Others._


  Scene designed by Norman Jacobsen. Produced under the direction of
  Nina Moise. Incidental music written by Alfred Kreymborg.



THE SLAVE WITH TWO FACES

AN ALLEGORY BY MARY CAROLYN DAVIES


    [_THE SCENE is a wood through which runs a path. Wild rose bushes
    and other wood-things border it. On opposite sides of the path
    stand two girls waiting. They have not looked at each other. The
    girls wear that useful sort of gown which, with the addition of a
    crown, makes a queen--without, makes a peasant. The first girl
    wears a crown. The second carries one carelessly in her hand._]


FIRST GIRL [_looking across at the other_]. For whom are you waiting?

SECOND GIRL. I am waiting for Life.

FIRST GIRL. I am waiting for Life also.

SECOND GIRL. They said that he would pass this way. Do you believe that
he will pass this way?

FIRST GIRL. He passes all ways.

SECOND GIRL [_still breathing quickly_]. I ran to meet Life.

FIRST GIRL. Are you not afraid of him?

SECOND GIRL. Yes. That is why I ran to meet him.

FIRST GIRL [_to herself_]. I, too, ran to meet him.

SECOND GIRL. Ah! he is coming!

FIRST GIRL. No. It is only the little quarreling words of the leaves,
and the winds that are always urging them to go away.

SECOND GIRL. The leaves do not go.

FIRST GIRL. Some day they will go. And that the wind knows.

FIRST GIRL. Why are you not wearing your crown?

SECOND GIRL. Why should we wear crowns? [_She places the crown upon her
head._]

FIRST GIRL. Do you not know?

SECOND GIRL. No.

FIRST GIRL. That is all of wisdom--the wearing of crowns before the eyes
of Life.

SECOND GIRL. I do not understand you.

FIRST GIRL. Few understand wisdom--even those who need it most--

SECOND GIRL. He is coming! I heard a sound.

FIRST GIRL. It was only the sound of a petal dreaming that it had fallen
from the rose-tree.

SECOND GIRL. I have waited--

FIRST GIRL. We all long for him. We cry out to him. When he comes, he
hurts us, he tortures us. He kills us, unless we know the secret.

SECOND GIRL. What is the secret?

FIRST GIRL. That he is a slave. He pretends! He pretends! But always he
knows in his heart that he is a slave. Only of those who have learned
his secret is he afraid.

SECOND GIRL. Tell me more!

FIRST GIRL. Over those who are afraid of him he is a tyrant. He
obeys--Kings and Queens!

SECOND GIRL. Then that--

FIRST GIRL. --Is why we must never let him see us without our crowns!

SECOND GIRL. How do you know these things?

FIRST GIRL. They were told me by an old wise man, who sits outside the
gate of our town.

SECOND GIRL. How did he know? Because he was one of those who are kings?

FIRST GIRL. No. Because he was one of those who are afraid.

SECOND GIRL [_dreamily_]. I have heard that Life is very beautiful. Is
he so? I have heard also that he is supremely ugly; that his mouth is
wide and grinning, that his eyes slant, and his nostrils are thick. Is
he so?--or is he--very beautiful?

FIRST GIRL. Perhaps you will see--for yourself--Ah!

SECOND GIRL.

    [_As Life saunters into view at the farthest bend of the path. He
    walks like a conqueror. But there is something ugly in his
    appearance. Life sees the girls just as a sudden sun-ray catches
    the jewels of their crowns. He cringes and walks like a hunchback
    slave. He is beautiful now._]

FIRST GIRL. He has seen our crowns!

SECOND GIRL. Ah!

FIRST GIRL. Remember! You are only safe--as long as you remain his
master. Never forget that he is a slave, and that you are a queen.

SECOND GIRL [_to herself_]. I must never let him see me without my
crown.

FIRST GIRL. Hush! He is coming!

SECOND GIRL. He is very beautiful--

FIRST GIRL. While he is a slave.

SECOND GIRL [_not hearing_]. He is--very beautiful--

FIRST GIRL. Life!

    [_Life bows to the ground at her feet._]

SECOND GIRL [_in delight_]. Ah!

FIRST GIRL. Life, I would have opals on a platter.

    [_Life bows in assent._]

SECOND GIRL. Oh-h!

FIRST GIRL. And pearls!

    [_Life bows._]

SECOND GIRL. Ah!

FIRST GIRL. And a little castle set within a hedge.

    [_Life bows._]

SECOND GIRL. Yes--

FIRST GIRL. I would have a fair prince to think tinkling words about me.
And I would have a strawberry tart, with little flutings in the crust.
Go, see that these things are made ready for me.

    [_Life bows in assent and turns to go._]

SECOND GIRL. Ah!

FIRST GIRL. See? It is so that one must act. It is thus one must manage
him. So and not otherwise it is done. Now--do you try. [_She plucks a
rose from a bush beside her, and twirls it in her fingers._]

SECOND GIRL. Life! [_Life kneels._] I have a wish for a gown of gold.
[_Life bows._]

FIRST GIRL. Yes!

    [_And over his bowed head, the two laugh gayly at the ease of his
    subjection._]

SECOND GIRL. And a little garden where I may walk and think of trumpets
blowing.

    [_Life bows._]

SECOND GIRL. It is a good rule.

FIRST GIRL [_calling slave back as he is leaving_]. I have a wish for a
gray steed. [_Life bows._] Bring me a little page, too. With golden
hair. And with a dimple.

    [_Life acquiesces, and starts to leave._]

FIRST GIRL [_calling him back with a gesture_]. Life! [_An important
afterthought._] With two dimples!

SECOND GIRL. And an amber necklace! Bring me an amber necklace!

FIRST GIRL [_tossing away the rose she has just plucked_]. And a fresh
rose.

    [_Life bows; turns to obey. The two are convulsed with mirth at the
    adventure and its success._]

FIRST GIRL. Life!

    [_Life halts._]

SECOND GIRL. What are you going to do?

FIRST GIRL. Come here!

    [_Life comes to her. With a quick movement she snatches one of the
    gold chains from about his neck._]

SECOND GIRL [_frightened_]. How can you dare?

FIRST GIRL. What you see you must take. [_She seizes his wrist and pulls
from it a bracelet._]

SECOND GIRL [_frightened_]. Ah!

FIRST GIRL. Go!

    [_Exit Life._]

SECOND GIRL. But why--

FIRST GIRL. He does not like beggars, Life. You see, he is a slave
himself.

SECOND GIRL. He is so beautiful.

FIRST GIRL. Do not forget that he is your slave.... This rosebush
[_touches it_] is a queen who forgot.

SECOND GIRL. Ah!

FIRST GIRL [_pointing to bones that seemed part of bushes along
roadside_]. Those are the bones of others who forgot.

SECOND GIRL. But he is beautiful!

FIRST GIRL. Only so long as you are his master.

SECOND GIRL. But he is kind!

FIRST GIRL. Only so long as you are not afraid of him.

SECOND GIRL. But you snatched--

FIRST GIRL. Life is the only person to whom one should be rude.

    [_They hear sounds of moaning and cries and a harsh voice menacing
    some unseen crowd._]

SECOND GIRL. What is that?

FIRST GIRL. Come! We must not be seen! [_Pulls her companion behind bush
at side of stage._]

SECOND GIRL. What will be done to us?

FIRST GIRL. Hush! If he should see you! He is always watching for the
first sign of fear.

SECOND GIRL. What is the first sign of fear?

FIRST GIRL. It is a thought--

SECOND GIRL. But can he see one's thoughts--

FIRST GIRL. Only thoughts of fear.

SECOND GIRL. If one hides them well even from oneself?

FIRST GIRL. Even then. But words are more dangerous still. If we say we
are afraid we will be more afraid, because whatever we make into words
makes itself into our bodies.

VOICES OFF STAGE. Oh, master! Mercy, master!

FIRST GIRL. It spoils him, this cringing. It spoils a good servant. As
long as he is kept in his place--

    [_A man enters and kneels, looking at Life off stage, in fear._]

FIRST GIRL [_steals to man and says_]. But he is only a slave. Do you
not see that he is a slave?

MAN. How can you say that? Look at his terrible face. Who that has seen
his face can doubt that he is a master, and a cruel one?

FIRST GIRL. He cannot be a master unless you make him so.

MAN. What is this that you are saying? Is it true?

FIRST GIRL. Yes, it is true. Even though it can be put into words it is
true.

MAN [_starts to rise, sinks to knees again_]. Yes. I see that it is
true. But go away.

FIRST GIRL [_crouching behind bush again_]. Ah!

    [_Life crosses the stage, with a whip of many thongs driving a
    huddled throng of half crouching men and women. They kneel and
    kiss his robe. His mouth is wide and grinning, his eyes slant, his
    nostrils are thick. He is hideous._]

LIFE. You! Give me your ideals. Three ideals! Is that all you have?

YOUNG MAN. Life has robbed me of my ideals.

WORKMAN. He robbed me too.

YOUNG MAN. But I had so few.

WORKMAN. When you have toiled to possess more, he will take those from
you also.

LIFE [_to an old woman_]. For twelve hours you shall toil at what you
hate. For an hour you shall work at what you love, to keep the wound
fresh, to make the torture keener.

OLD MAN. Ah, pity! Do not be so cruel! Let me forget the work I love!

LIFE. Dog! Take what I give you! It is not by begging that you may win
anything from me!

A VOICE. Give me a dream! A dream to strengthen my hands!

ANOTHER VOICE. A little love to make the day less terrible!

THIRD VOICE. Only rest, a little rest! Time to think of the sea, and of
grasses blowing in the wind.

A WOMAN. Master!

    [_Life lashes her with his whip. The woman screams. Life draws
    back from them, and dances a mocking dance, dancing himself into
    greater fury, laughing terribly, he lashes out at them. Several
    fall dead. He chokes a cripple with his hands. Finally he drives
    them off the stage before him, several furtively dragging the
    bodies with them._]

SECOND GIRL [_as the two emerge from their hiding place_]. Oh! I wish
never to see his face as they saw it!

FIRST GIRL. You will not, unless you kneel--never kneel, little queen.

SECOND GIRL. I shall never kneel to Life. I shall stand upright, as you
have taught me, and I shall say, "Bring me another necklace, Life--"

FIRST GIRL. I must go now for a little while. I shall come back. Do not
forget. [_She goes out._]

SECOND GIRL. I shall say--

    [_Life's voice is heard off stage. Second Girl cowers. Life
    enters._]

SECOND GIRL. Slave! I would have the chain with the red stone! [_As Life
submissively approaches, she snatches it from his neck._] And this!

    [_Snatching at his hand and pulling the ring from a finger. The
    slave bows. She happens to look toward the spot where the bodies
    were, and shivers._]

LIFE [_raising his head in time to see the look of horror. From this
moment his aspect gradually changes until from the slave he becomes a
tyrant_]. Are you afraid of me?

SECOND GIRL. No.

LIFE. There are many who are afraid of me.

SECOND GIRL. You are a slave.

LIFE. There are many who are afraid.

SECOND GIRL. You are only a slave.

LIFE. A slave may become a master.

SECOND GIRL. No.

LIFE. I may become--

SECOND GIRL. You are my slave.

LIFE. If I were your master--

SECOND GIRL. You are a slave.

LIFE. If I were your master, I would be kind to you. You are beautiful.

SECOND GIRL. Ah!

LIFE. You are very beautiful.

SECOND GIRL. It is my crown that makes me beautiful.

LIFE. If you should take your crown from your head, you would still be
beautiful.

SECOND GIRL. That I will not do.

LIFE. You are beautiful as the slight burning of the apple-petal's cheek
when the sun glances at the great flowers near it. You are beautiful as
the little pool far in the forest which holds lily-buds in its hands.
You are beautiful--

SECOND GIRL [_aside_]. I think he wants me to be afraid, so I will say
it. I have heard that men are like that. I am not afraid, but I will say
it to please him.

LIFE. Are you afraid of me?

SECOND GIRL. Yes.

LIFE. Are you afraid?

SECOND GIRL. Yes, I am afraid.

LIFE. Ah, that pleases me.

SECOND GIRL [_aside_]. I knew that I would be able to please him!
Whatever I make into words makes itself into my body, she said, like
fear--but she does not know everything! It is impossible that she should
know everything! And it is so pleasant to please him--And so easy! I am
not afraid of him. I have only _said_ that I am afraid.

LIFE. Will you not take your crown from your head?

SECOND GIRL. No.

LIFE. There is nothing so beautiful as a woman's hair flying in the
wind. I can see your hair beneath your crown. Your hair would be
beautiful flying in the wind.

SECOND GIRL [_removes crown_]. It is only for a moment.

LIFE. Yes, you are beautiful.

SECOND GIRL [_to herself_]. It may be that I was not wise--

LIFE. You are like a new flower opening, and dazzling a passing bird
with sudden color.

SECOND GIRL. She said that I must not--

LIFE. You are like the bird that passes. Your hair lifts like winks in
the sun.

SECOND GIRL. He has not harmed me.

LIFE. Your crown is like jewels gathered from old galleons beneath the
sea. May I see your crown?

SECOND GIRL [_holds it out cautiously toward him, then changes her
mind_]. No--

LIFE. Let me hold it in my fingers. I shall give it back to you.

SECOND GIRL. No.

LIFE. I shall give it back.

SECOND GIRL. If you will surely give it back to me--

LIFE [_takes crown_]. But your hair is lovelier without a crown.
[_Flings it from him._]

SECOND GIRL. What have you done?

LIFE. It was only in jest.

SECOND GIRL. But you promised--

LIFE. In jest.

SECOND GIRL. But--

LIFE. Ho-ho! Laugh with me. What a jest!

SECOND GIRL [_laughs, then shivers_].

LIFE [_in high good humor with himself_]. Dance for me. You are young.
You are happy. Dance!

SECOND GIRL. What shall my dance say?

LIFE. That it is Spring, and that there are brooks flowing, newly
awakened and mad to be with the sea. That there is a white bud widening
under the moon, and in a curtained room a young girl sleeping. That the
sun has wakened her--

SECOND GIRL [_dances these things. At first she is afraid of him, then
she forgets and dances with abandon_]. And now give me back my crown.

LIFE. You do not need a crown, pretty one.

SECOND GIRL. I am afraid of you!

LIFE. Afraid of me! What have I done?

SECOND GIRL. I do not know.

LIFE. Do not be afraid.

SECOND GIRL. I am afraid.

LIFE. I shall be a kind master to you.

SECOND GIRL. Master?

LIFE. A kind master.

SECOND GIRL. You are my slave.

LIFE. I shall never be your slave again.

SECOND GIRL. And if she were right? If it is true?

LIFE. What are you saying?

SECOND GIRL. Nothing--

LIFE. You must call me master.

SECOND GIRL. No. That I will not do.

LIFE [_leering at her_]. Call me master. Then I shall be kind to you.

SECOND GIRL. No. I can not.

LIFE [_picks up his whip from the path, toying with the whip but
laughing at her_]. Then I shall be kind.

SECOND GIRL. Master--

LIFE. It has a good sound.

SECOND GIRL. You will give me--

LIFE. Greedy one! Be grateful that I do not punish you.

SECOND GIRL. You would not strike me?

LIFE. If you do not obey--

SECOND GIRL [_whispering_]. You would not strike--

LIFE. You must kneel.

SECOND GIRL [_repeating_]. Never kneel, little queen--

LIFE. You must kneel to me.

SECOND GIRL. No.

LIFE [_raising the whip as if to strike_]. On your knees! Slave!

SECOND GIRL. You were kind! Life, you were kind! You said beautiful
words to me.

LIFE. Kneel.

SECOND GIRL. You would be always kind, you said--

LIFE. Will you obey?

SECOND GIRL. I shall never--

    [_Life curls his whip around her shoulders._]

SECOND GIRL [_screams_]. Do not flog me. I will kneel. [_Kneels_.]

LIFE. So? In that way I can win obedience.

SECOND GIRL. Master!

LIFE. It has a good sound.

SECOND GIRL. Pity! Have pity!

LIFE. Do not whine. [_Kicks her._]

SECOND GIRL [_rises staggering_]. Spare me!

LIFE. I shall beat you, for the cries of those who fear me are sweet in
my ears. [_Beats her._]

SECOND GIRL. Master!

LIFE [_flinging aside whip_]. But sweeter yet are stilled cries--[_He
seizes her, they struggle._]

SECOND GIRL. He is too strong--I can struggle no longer!

    [_They struggle. Life chokes her to death and flings her body from
    him. Then laughing horribly he goes off the stage._]

FIRST GIRL [_enters skipping merrily. Singing_].

  Heigho, in April,
    Heigho, heigho,
  All the town in April
    Is gay, is gay!

    [_She plucks rose from bush._]

  Heigho, in April,
    In merry, merry April,
  Love came a-riding
    And of a sunny day
    I met him on the way!
  Heigho, in April,
    Heigho, heigho--

    [_Suddenly seeing the body, she breaks the song, and stares
    without moving. Then she goes very slowly toward it, smooths down
    the dead girl's dress, and kneels beside the body. Whispers._]

She was young ... he was cruel.... [_Touches the body._] She also was a
queen. She snatched his trinkets. See, there on her dead neck is his
chain with the red fire caught in gold. And on her finger his ring. But
he was too strong ... too strong.... [_She stands, trembles, cowering in
terror._] Life has broken her.... Life has broken them all.... Some
day.... I am afraid....

    [_Life enters, still the ugly tyrant. She remains cowering. His
    eyes rove slowly over the stage, but she sees him a second before
    he discovers her. She straightens up just in time to be her
    scornful self before his eyes light upon her. As she speaks Life
    becomes the slave again._]

FIRST GIRL [_carelessly flings rose down without seeing that it has
fallen upon the body_]. Life! Bring me a fresh rose!

    [_The slave bows abjectly and goes to do her bidding._]


  [_Curtain._]




THE SLUMP

  A PLAY

  BY FREDERIC L. DAY


  Copyright, 1920, by Frederic L. Day.
  All rights reserved.


  The Slump was first produced February 5, 1920, by "The 47 Workshop"
  with the following cast:

    FLORENCE MADDEN  _Miss Ruth Chorpenning_.
    JAMES MADDEN     _Mr. Walton Butterfield_.
    EDWARD MIX       _Mr. W. B. Leach, Jr_.


  Permission to reprint, or for amateur or professional performances
  of any kind must first be obtained from "The 47 Workshop," Harvard
  College, Cambridge, Mass. Moving picture rights reserved.

  TIME: _The Present. About four o'clock on a Saturday afternoon in
  December._



THE SLUMP

A PLAY BY FREDERIC L. DAY


    [SCENE: _A dingy room showing the very worst of contemporary lower
    middle-class American taste. The dining table in the center is of
    "golden oak"; and a sideboard at the left, a morris chair at the
    right and front, and three dining-room chairs (one of which is in
    the left rear corner, the others at the table) are all of this
    same finish. The paper on the walls is at once tawdry and faded. A
    tarnished imitation brass gas jet is suspended from the right
    wall, just over the morris chair. In the back wall and to the left
    is a door leading outside. Another door, in the left wall, leads
    to the rest of the house. A low, rather dirty window in the back
    wall, to the right of the center, looks out on a muddy river with
    the dispiriting houses of a small, grimy manufacturing city
    beyond. On the back wall are one or two old-fashioned engravings
    with sentimental subjects, and several highly-colored photographs
    of moving picture stars, each of them somewhat askew. A few
    pictures on the other walls are mostly cheap prints cut out of the
    rotogravure section of the Sunday paper. In the right-hand rear
    corner is an air-tight stove. The whole room has an appearance of
    hopeless untidiness and slovenliness. Close by the morris chair,
    at its right, is a phonograph on a stand. Outside it is a dull
    gray day. The afternoon light is already beginning to wane._

    _As the curtain rises, James Madden is sitting behind the table in
    the center of the room. He is a rather small man of thirty-five,
    his hair just beginning to turn gray at the temples. Spectacles, a
    peering manner, and the sallow pallor of his face all suggest the
    man of a sedentary mode of life. His clothes are faded and of a
    poor cut, but brushed and neat. There is something ineffectual but
    distinctly appealing about the little man. Madden is working on a
    pile of bills which are strewn over the top of the table. He picks
    up a bill, looks at it, and draws in his under lip with an
    expression of dismay. He writes down the amount of the bill on a
    piece of paper, below six or seven other rows of figures. He looks
    at another bill, and his expression becomes even more
    distracted._]


MADDEN [_with exasperation_]. Oh!

    [_He brings his fist down on the table with a limp whack, then
    turns and looks helplessly toward the door at the left. After a
    moment this door starts to open. Madden turns quickly to the
    front, trying to compose his face and busying himself with the
    bills. The door continues to open, and Mrs. Madden now issues from
    it lazily. She is thirty-two years old, and a good half head
    taller than her husband. Where he is thin and bony, she has
    already begun to lose her figure. Her yellow hair, the color of
    molasses kisses, is at once greasy and untidy, and seems ready to
    come to pieces. Her face is beginning to lose its contour--the
    uninspired face of a lower middle-class woman who has once been
    pretty in a rather cheap way. She is sloppily dressed in showy
    purple silk. Her skirt is short, and she wears brand new, high,
    shiny, mahogany-colored boots. She has powdered her nose._]

MRS. MADDEN [_uninterestedly, in a slow, flat, nasal voice_]. How long
y' been home? Yer pretty late f'r Sat'rdy.

MADDEN [_still looking down and trying to control his feelings_]. The
head bookkeeper kept me, checkin' up the mill pay roll. I been here
[_consulting his watch_] just seven minutes.

MRS. MADDEN [_yawning_]. Thanks. Yer s' darn acc'rate, Jim. I didn'
really wanta know.

    [_He looks at another bill and writes down the amount on the same
    piece of paper as before, keeping his head averted so that she may
    not see his face._]

MRS. MADDEN. Jim. [_With lazy self-satisfaction._] Look up an' glimpse
yer wifey in 'r new boots. [_She draws up her skirts sufficiently to
show the boots._]

    [_He looks up unwillingly and makes a movement of exasperation._]

MADDEN. Oh, Florrie!

MRS. MADDEN. W'at's a matter? Don'choo like 'em?

MADDEN. You didn't need another pair, Florrie.

MRS. MADDEN [_on the defensive_]. Y' wouldn' have me look worse 'n one
o' these furriners, would y'? There's Mrs. Montanio nex' door; she's
jus' got a pair o' mahogany ones an' a pair o' lemon colored ones. An'
_her_ husban's on'y a "slasher."

MADDEN. Slashers get a big sight more pay than under bookkeepers these
days, Florrie.

MRS. MADDEN [_persuasively_]. Got 'em at a bargain, anyways. Jus' think,
Jim. On'y twelve, an' they _was_ sixteen. [_Madden groans audibly. She
changes the subject hastily._] W'at's a news down town?

MADDEN [_seriously_]. Florrie-- [_He hesitates and then seems to change
his mind. He relaxes and speaks wearily, trying to affect an off-hand
manner._] Nothin' much. [_Struck by an unpleasant recollection._] Comin'
home by Market Wharf I saw 'em pull a woman out o' the river.

MRS. MADDEN [_interested_]. Y' don' say, Jim. Was she dead?

MADDEN [_nervously_]. I ... I don't know. I didn't stop. [_He passes his
hand across his face with a sudden gesture of horror._] You know,
Florrie, I hate things like that!

MRS. MADDEN. Well--y' poor boob! Not t' find out if she was dead!

    [_She gives an impatient shrug of the shoulders and passes behind
    him, going over to the back window and looking out aimlessly.
    Madden picks up another bill, regarding it malevolently. After a
    moment she turns carelessly toward him._]

MRS. MADDEN. Jim. [_He does not look up._] Say, Jim. I'm awful tired o'
cookin'. There ain't a thing t' eat in th' house. Le's go down t'
Horseman's f'r a lobster supper t'night, an' then take in a real show.
Mrs. Montanio's tol' me--

MADDEN [_interrupting very gravely_]. Florrie. [_He rises to his feet._]

MRS. MADDEN [_continuing without a pause_]. There's an awful comical
show down t' th' Hyperion. Regal'r scream, they say. Mrs. Montanio--

MADDEN [_breaking in_]. Florrie, there's somethin' I got to say to you.

MRS. MADDEN [_a little sulky_]. I got lots I'd like t' say t' _you_.
On'y I ain't sayin' it.

MADDEN [_more quietly_]. I wasn't goin' to say it now ... not 'till I
finished goin' through these. [_He makes a gesture toward the bills._]
But when I saw your new shoes, an' specially when you spoke o' goin' out
to-night....

MRS. MADDEN. Well, why shouldn' I? I got t' have _some_ fun.

MADDEN [_keeping his self-control_]. Look here, Florrie. D'you know what
I was doin' when you came in?

MRS. MADDEN. I didn't notice. Figgerin' somethin', I s'pose. Y' always
are.

MADDEN. This mornin' at the office I got called to the phone. The
Excelsior Shoe Comp'ny said you cashed a check there yesterday for
fifteen dollars. Said you bought a pair o' shoes ... those, I suppose
[_He looks at her feet. She turns away sulkily._] ... an' had some money
left over. Check came back to 'em this mornin' from the bank.--"No
funds."

MRS. MADDEN [_with righteous but lazy indignation_]. How'd I know there
wasn't no money in th' bank?

MADDEN. If you kept your check book up to date you'd know.

MRS. MADDEN. W'at right they got not t' cash my check?

MADDEN [_still controlling himself_]. The bank don't let you overdraw
any more. [_He glances back at the bills._] D'you know, I'm wonderin'
why you didn't charge those boots.

MRS. MADDEN. I ain't got any account at th' Excelsior.

MADDEN. I guess it's the only place in town you haven't got one.--You
don't seem to remember what salary I get.

MRS. MADDEN. Sure--I know. Ninety-five a month. Y' know mighty well I'm
ashamed o' you f'r not gettin' more. Mrs. Montanio's husban'--

MADDEN [_breaking in_]. Hang the Montanios! [_More quietly._] Don't you
see what I'm gettin' at? Here it is the twelfth o' December; you know my
pay don't come in till the end o' the month; an' here you go an' draw
all our money out o' the bank ... an' more. [_Turning toward the
table._] An' _look_ at these bills!

MRS. MADDEN. James Madden, I like t' know w'at right you got t' talk t'
me like that.

MADDEN [_thoughtfully_]. I've always argued it's the woman's job to run
the house. [_He walks around the table from front to rear, passing to
its left, and looking down at the bills. With conviction._] It's no
use!--I don't just see how we're goin' to get out of this mess; but I do
know one thing. [_Advancing toward her from the rear of the table._]
After this _I'm_ goin' to spend our money, even if I have to buy your
dresses.

MRS. MADDEN [_with rising anger_]. If you say I've been extrav'gant,
James Madden, yer a plain liar!

MADDEN [_biting his lip and stepping back a pace_]. Easy, Florrie!--I
know you don't mean that, or--

MRS. MADDEN [_interrupting viciously_]. I do!

MADDEN [_persuasively_]. Look here, Florrie. We got to work this out
together. There's no use gettin' mad. Prob'ly you aren't
extravagant--really. Just considerin' the size o' my salary.

MRS. MADDEN. A pig couldn' live decent on _your_ salary!

MADDEN. Other folks seem to get on, even in these times. What would you
do if we had kids?

MRS. MADDEN. Thank the Lord we ain't got _them_ t' think about.

MADDEN [_shocked_]. Florence!

MRS. MADDEN. Well, I guess anybody'd be glad not t' have kids with _you_
f'r a husban'. Y' don't earn enough money t' keep a cat--let alone kids!
An' jus' t' think they'd be like you!

MADDEN [_more surprised than angry_]. Florence--you're talking like a
street woman.

MRS. MADDEN. Oh, I am, am I? Well, I guess you treat me like a street
woman. Y' don' deserve t' have a wife.

MADDEN. Well, I don't guess I do. Not one like you!

MRS. MADDEN. That's right! That's right! You don' know how t' treat a
lady.

MADDEN [_controlling himself_]. Look here, Florrie. Don't let's get all
het up over this.

MRS. MADDEN. Who's gettin' het up? [_Bursting past him toward the door
at the left._] I wish t' God you was a gen'leman!

MADDEN. Florrie--_don't_!

MRS. MADDEN [_turning on him from the other side of the table_]. W'y
don't y' go out an' dig in th' ditch? Y'd earn a damn sight more money
th'n--

MADDEN [_with angry impatience_]. You _know_ I'm not strong enough.

MRS. MADDEN. Bony little shrimp! Not even pep enough t' have kids!

MADDEN [_beside himself_]. Florence! [_Going toward her._] I'm goin' to
tell you some things I never thought I would. You're just a plain,
common, selfish, vulgar woman! You don't care one penny for anybody
except yourself. You an' your clothes an' your movies an' your sodas an'
your candy! [_Mrs. Madden is glowering at him across the table. She is
beginning to weep with rage.--Two or three times she opens her mouth as
if to speak, but each time he cuts her short._] Look at the way you been
leavin' this house lately. [_He makes an inclusive gesture toward the
room._] The four years I've lived with you would drive a saint to Hell!
[_Mrs. Madden marches furiously by him and over to her hat and coat,
which are hanging from pegs at the right, just in front of the stove._]
I wish I'd never seen you!

MRS. MADDEN [_getting her coat and hat_]. D' y' think I'm goin' t' stay
in this house t' be talked to like that? [_Putting on her hat
viciously._] D' y' think I'm goin' t' stand that kind of a thing?
[_Putting on her coat.--Sobbing angrily._] I guess ... you'll be ...
pretty sorry when I've ... gone. [_Coming closer to him on her way to
the outside door._] If ... if I _did_ somethin' ... if somethin' ...
_happened_ t' me ... I guess you ... you wouldn't never ... f'give
yerself! [_She is at the door._]

MADDEN. I don't worry about you. [_She turns on him at the door._] You
wouldn't do anything like that. You're too _yellow_!

MRS. MADDEN [_at the door. Sobbing, in a fury_]. You'll ... see!

    [_With one last glare at him, she turns, opens the door and goes
    outside, slamming the door behind her. Madden stares after her,
    almost beside himself. He takes several steps across the room,
    then crosses and recrosses it, trying to regain control of
    himself. Little by little his anger fades; the energy goes out of
    his pacing, and finally he approaches the table and sits down in
    his old place with a hopeless droop of the shoulders. He takes up
    another bill and looks at its amount helplessly, finally writing
    it down on the same piece of paper as before. He starts to add up
    the total of the bills he has already set down on the piece of
    paper. His hand moves mechanically. Suddenly a shadow crosses his
    face, as an idea begins to form itself in his mind. He looks
    straight ahead, his eyes opening wide with horror. With a sudden
    movement he springs up from the table and goes quickly to the
    window, where he looks out anxiously at the river. He turns back
    into the room, and passes his hand across his face with the same
    gesture of horror he used earlier in speaking to Mrs. Madden of
    the woman who had fallen into the river._]

MADDEN. Ugh!

    [_He returns to the table, his face dark with the fear that has
    seized him. At the table, he stands a moment, thinking. Once again
    he passes his hand across his forehead with the same gesture of
    horrified fear. He drops into the chair behind the table, still
    thoughtful. After a moment his face clears, and he shakes his head
    with an expression of disbelief. He bends again over the bills,
    and once more takes up his work of going over them. From outside
    comes the faint sound of some one whistling "Tell Me." Gradually
    the whistle grows louder and louder, as if the whistler were
    coming nearer up the street. There is a sharp rap at the door.
    Madden starts violently, and, jumping up, he goes quickly to the
    door. He opens it eagerly and slumps with obvious disappointment
    as Edgar Mix enters breezily. Mix is about twenty-five; a loosely
    put together, thin faced youth in a new suit of readymade clothes
    which are of too blatant a pattern and much too extreme a cut to
    be in really good taste. He is whistling the refrain of "Tell
    Me."_]

MIX [_as he passes_]. H'llo, James. [_Without stopping for an answer, he
crosses the room and starts to remove his hat and coat._] Where's the
sister?

MADDEN [_he has closed the door. Dully._] She's gone out.

    [_As if struck by an idea, Madden reopens the door and goes
    outside. He can be seen, looking first to the left, then to the
    right, and finally down at the river before him. Mix finishes
    taking off his outer garments, which he hangs with a flourish on
    pegs near the stove. He is still whistling the same refrain._]

MIX. W'at's a matter with you? Tryin' t' freeze me out? [_His voice has
the same flat quality as his sister's, but it is full of energy._]

    [_Madden does not appear to hear him. He now comes back into the
    house, shutting the door behind him. His face is anxious, a fact
    he tries to hide._]

MADDEN. Did you want to see Florence? [_Mix pauses in his whistling._]

MIX. Sure. Nothin' important, though. Just about a little party she said
you an' she was goin' t' take me on t'night. [_He commences whistling
cheerily the opening bars of his refrain._]

MADDEN [_dully_]. Sorry. I don't know anythin' about it.

    [_Mix stops whistling suddenly and looks down with dismay. Then,
    with his hands in his pockets, he slowly whistles the four
    descending notes at the end of the third bar and the beginning of
    the fourth. He stops and shakes his head, then slowly whistles a
    few more bars of the refrain, starting where he just left off, and
    letting himself drop into the morris chair on the descending note
    in the fifth bar. After another brief silence he finishes the
    refrain, but with a sudden return of the same quick, light mood in
    which he entered. The refrain over, he begins again at the
    beginning and whistles two or three more bars. Madden has
    meanwhile sat down at the table and is again going over the
    bills._]

MIX. Jim--ever get a piece runnin' in yer head so y' can't get it out?
[_Madden is looking vacantly down at the bills._] I s'pose I been
w'istlin' that tune steady f'r three whole weeks. [_He whistles three or
four more bars of the same refrain._] Like it? [_Madden does not appear
to have heard him._] P'raps Florrie's got th' record f'r that on th'
phornograph. Has she, Jim? It ain't been out long.

MADDEN [_impatiently_]. Oh, I don't know, Ed.

MIX [_after whistling very softly a bar or two more_]. I see some girl
fell in the river.

MADDEN [_startled_]. What?

MIX. Yep. They was tryin' t' make her come to. No use. She was a goner
all right.

MADDEN [_rising from his chair. Trying to control himself._] Where was
this?

MIX. Oh, not s' far below here. Saw her m'self, I did.

MADDEN [_with increasing fear. Taking a step or two toward Mix._] Did
you see her face?

MIX. Nope. Somethin' 'd struck her face. Y'd hardly know she was a
woman, 'cept f'r her clothes.

MADDEN [_wildly. Coming closer_]. How long ago?

MIX. W'at y' gettin' s' het up about? [_Madden is almost frantic._]
Oh ... 'bout 'n hour.

    [_Madden relaxes suddenly. The reaction is almost too much for
    him. He slowly goes back to the table._]

MADDEN [_nervously_]. Oh ... down by Market Wharf?

MIX. Sure. Did y' see her? [_Madden sits down heavily._]

MADDEN. Uhuh.

    [_For a second or two there is silence. Madden rearranges the
    bills in front of him. Mix lolls in the armchair, whistling very
    softly._]

MADDEN. Ed.

MIX. Uhuh.

MADDEN. Would you call Florrie a ... a ... well one o' them high-strung
girls?

MIX. Gosh, no!

MADDEN. You don't think she'd be the sort to fly off the handle an' do
... well, somethin' desp'rate?

MIX. Come off. You know's well's I do, Florrie's nothin' but a big jelly
fish.

MADDEN. Ed--I don't want you to talk that way about Florrie. You don't
'preciate her.

MIX. Well, w'at's bitin' _you_? W'at y' askin' all these questions f'r,
anyways?

MADDEN [_dully_]. Oh, nothin'.

    [_Madden looks down uneasily at the bills, but without giving them
    any real attention. Mix yawns and lazily shifts his position in
    the armchair._]

MADDEN. Ed--I do want to ask you somethin'.

MIX [_indifferently_]. Shoot.

MADDEN. I want you to tell the truth about this, Ed. Even if you think
it will hurt my feelings. It won't.

MIX. Spit it out.

MADDEN. Just what sort of a chap do you think I am?

MIX [_considering_]. Huh! That's easy. D' y' really wanta know w'at I
think?

MADDEN [_gravely_]. I cert'nly do.

MIX. Well--if you really wanta know, I think yer a damn good kid
[_Madden looks suddenly grateful_] ... but a bit weak on th' pep.

MADDEN [_a trifle dubiously_]. Thanks. [_Thoughtfully._] You don't
think I'm unfair?

MIX. Unfair? Why, no. How d' y' mean?

MADDEN. Well ... here in the house, f'r instance.

MIX. Lord, no, Jim! Yer s' easy goin' it'd be a holy shame f'r any one
t' slip anythin' over on y'. [_After a short pause. Suspiciously._] W'at
y' askin' all these questions f'r, anyways?

MADDEN. Oh--nothin'.

MIX [_struck with an idea.--Starting up from his chair_]. _I_ know
w'at's bitin' you. You an' Florrie's had a row. [_He walks up to Madden
and taps his arm familiarly with the back of his hand._] Come on. Own
up! [_He passes around behind Madden until he stands behind the chair at
the left of the table._]

MADDEN. Well ... we did have a ... a sort of a ... disagreement.

MIX. I bet y' did. Look here, Jim. W'at's a use o' takin' it s' hard?

MADDEN [_gravely_]. The trouble is----[_He breaks off_] I guess I was
mostly in the wrong.

MIX [_sitting down vehemently_]. Tell that to a poodle! I know you an' I
know Florrie. I guess I know who'd be in the wrong, all right. She was
bad enough w'en y' firs' got sweet on 'r--jus' a lazy fool, ev'n if she
did have a pretty face. Gee, how you did fall f'r her face! Moonin'
round an' sayin' how _wonderful_ she was! [_He chuckles._] An' Florrie
twenty-eight years old ... an' jus' waitin' t' fall into yer arms.

MADDEN. Ed--don't say things like that, even in fun.

MIX. Hell! It's the truth.... But lately Florrie's jus' plain slumped.
She's nothin' now but a selfish, lazy pig.

MADDEN [_angrily_]. I won't have you talk that way about Florrie. She's
made me a good wife ... on the whole. She don't go trapesin' off like
some o' your fly by nights. She's affection'te ... an' good tempered ...
an'----[_Mix is grinning incredulously._]

MIX. Rats! Yer havin' a damn hard time t' say anythin' real nice about
'r. I wouldn' stretch th' truth s' far 's _that_ [_snapping his
fingers._] f'r her, ev'n if she is m' sister.

MADDEN [_vehemently_]. Ed--if you can't talk decently about a nice girl
like Florrie, I guess you better get out.

MIX [_slowly rising from his chair_]. Well I'll be damned! All right, I
_will_ go.... Yer crazy, Jim!

MADDEN [_rising and putting a restraining arm on Mix's shoulder.
Nervously_]. Don't mind me, Ed. I didn't really mean what I said. I'm
all upset.

MIX. Sh'd think y' were. [_After a slight hesitation, he sits down
again._] W'at y' quarrelin' 'bout? Money?

MADDEN [_sitting down again_]. Uhuh.

MIX. Huh! Thought as much.... As I was sayin', I know Florrie.

MADDEN. It really wasn't her fault.

MIX [_slowly and emphatically_]. Well, you are sappy. Ever'body knows
Florrie spends more money th'n you an' all my family put t'gether.

MADDEN. You wouldn't have me deny her _ev'rythin'_?... She's got to have
_some_ fun.

MIX. But, Lord, man, y' don't earn th' income of a John D. Rockefeller.

MADDEN [_somberly_]. I know.... I ought to do much better. But that
isn't _her_ fault. Besides, she's learned her lesson.

MIX. Well, I'll be damned! T' hear you talk this way. O' course, y' kep'
yer mouth pretty well shut. But we all figgered you was havin' th'
devil's own time with Florrie!

MADDEN [_rising from his seat. With deep feeling_]. Ed----[_He turns and
goes over to the window, looks out and then faces around_]. I never knew
... till just now ... how fond I was of her.

    [_Mix regards him with a puzzled expression. Madden begins to walk
    up and down the floor, at first slowly and thoughtfully, then more
    and more nervously. The light outside begins to fade._]

MIX [_after a pause. Looking up at Madden_]. Jim. Y' never c'n tell w'at
these women 're goin' t' do--can yer?

MADDEN [_stopping abruptly. Intensely_]. I s'pose not, Ed. [_He goes on
a few steps and then stops again._] Even ... even when they're not ...
high strung.

    [_Madden continues his nervous pacing of the floor. Mix watches
    him with increasing annoyance._]

MADDEN [_suddenly_]. Was that a footstep?

    [_Mix shakes his head. Madden goes quickly to the window and looks
    out. From there he rushes to the door and peers out, first to one
    side and then to the other. He shuts the door, and with a hopeless
    look on his face comes back into the room. Outside the light is
    steadily fading._]

MIX [_slowly rising from his chair, a look of still greater annoyance on
his face_]. I guess Florrie ain't comin' f'r some time. I'll be goin'.
[_He goes over toward his coat and hat._]

MADDEN [_nervously_]. Why don't you drop into Smith's soda parlor?
That's where she always is, this time o' the afternoon.

MIX. She ain't there, I don't guess.... I jus' come from there m'self.

MADDEN [_intensely_]. You did?

MIX. Sure.

MADDEN [_wildly_]. Ed--I can't stand this waitin' f'r her any more. [_He
goes quickly and gets his hat and coat from a peg near the stove._] I'm
goin' out.

    [_Madden goes swiftly across the room to the door at the back and
    goes out. He is seen to pass outside in front of the back window.
    Mix takes a few involuntary steps after him toward the door, then
    stops and gives a low whistle of astonishment. After a moment he
    turns and starts back toward his hat and coat._]

MIX [_half aloud_]. Poor ol' Jim.

    [_He gets his hat and coat, and puts them on. In the course of a
    few seconds the reflective look has gone from his face; he begins
    to whistle softly the same refrain as before. From his pocket
    he produces a cigarette, which he places in his mouth. He is
    preparing to light it when a thought strikes him. He goes quickly
    over to the phonograph and, bending down, takes a record and
    examines it. It has become so dark that he is unable to read the
    title; so he lights the neighboring gas jet. He then examines two
    or three records in quick succession, finally producing one which
    causes a smile to spread over his face._]

MIX. Ah!

    [_He places his find on the phonograph, winds the machine, and
    starts his record playing. The tune is the same one he has been
    whistling the whole afternoon. With an expression of great
    pleasure he hears the record start, at the same time producing a
    huge nickel watch from his pocket and glancing at it casually. As
    he sees the time, his whole expression changes._]

MIX [_throwing his cigarette impatiently on the floor_]. Hell!

    [_He stops the phonograph and tilts back the playing arm. He
    buttons up his overcoat, turns up his collar and adjusts his hat.
    Then, his whistle suddenly breaking out again loudly into his
    favorite refrain, he marches quickly across the room to the door
    at the back, and goes out. He is seen to pass by the window, and
    his whistling is heard to die away gradually down the street._

    _Stillness has hardly fallen when the door at the back opens, and
    Mrs. Madden enters. She appears a trifle chilly, but seems
    otherwise to have recovered her composure. Closing the door behind
    her, she comes forward lazily to the table. She looks down at the
    piles of bills before her with a perfectly vacant stare, and
    taking from her pocket a pound box of candy she tosses it down on
    the papers. She opens the cover and extracts a large chocolate
    cream, which she eats indolently and with evident pleasure. Next,
    she removes her hat and coat, throwing them carelessly on the
    table beside the candy. She walks, with a lazy, flat-footed step,
    over to the gas jet at the right, and turns up the gas
    sufficiently for reading. Looking down, she notices the record
    left on the phonograph._]

MRS. MADDEN [_with slow pleasure_]. Hm!

    [_Without bothering to find out whether or not the phonograph is
    wound up, she starts it going and places the playing arm with
    apparent carelessness so that the record begins playing about a
    third of the way through. She listens to the music for three or
    four seconds with an expression of indolent appreciation, then she
    crosses the floor to the door at the left, always moving with the
    same flat-footed walk. Opening the door, she peers through it._]

MRS. MADDEN [_calling, her flat voice rising above the sound of the
phonograph_]. Oh Ji--im!

    [_She listens a moment for an answer; but as there is none, she
    closes the door and turns around. Once again the music catches and
    holds her attention. She listens for an instant and then goes back
    to the table, making a heavy attempt at a dance step or two. From
    the pocket of her overcoat she extracts a new cheap novel, whose
    content is well advertised by a lurid colored cover. This she
    takes over to the morris chair. Another thought strikes her; she
    tosses the novel into the chair and goes back to the table, where
    she gets five or six chocolate creams from the candy box,
    depositing them in a row on the right arm of the morris chair.
    Then she takes up her book and sits down. For a moment she tries
    to read, but all is not comfortable yet. She changes her position
    two or three times in the chair. At last she rises, heaving a
    disgusted sigh. Dropping her book into the chair she walks with
    flat, heavy steps across the room and out of the door at the left,
    leaving it open. She returns almost instantly, dragging two greasy
    looking sofa pillows after her. She kicks the door to, and crosses
    to the morris chair. Here she places one of the pillows on the
    ground for her feet, the other at the back of the chair. Picking
    up her book once more, she settles back into the chair with an
    expression of perfect animal contentment. She puts another
    chocolate cream in her mouth, and finds her place in the book.
    Then the music again engages her attention; she leans back with a
    foolish smile on her face as she listens. Constantly chewing the
    piece of candy, she hums a bar or two of the tune which is still
    being played by the phonograph. Then she settles down to her
    reading, eating candy as she feels inclined. The phonograph
    reaches the end of the record and makes that annoying clicking
    noise which shows it should be shut off. For two or three seconds
    Mrs. Madden pays no attention to it. Finally she raises herself in
    the chair, and without getting up she reaches over and switches
    off the phonograph, then settles back again to her reading._

    _Some one goes swiftly by the window outside. After a moment the
    door at the back opens, and Madden stands in the doorway._]

MADDEN [_in the doorway, catching sight of Mrs. Madden. With pathetic
eagerness_]. _Florrie!_ [_He closes the door._]

MRS. MADDEN [_without looking up. In lazy, matter of fact tones_]. 'Lo,
Jim.

MADDEN [_coming forward toward his wife_]. Are you _really_ safe,
Florrie?

    [_She looks up with a glance of feeble annoyance._]

MRS. MADDEN. Sure. I'm all right. [_She looks down again._]

MADDEN [_coming still closer_]. Oh, I'm so _thankful_!... I ... I been
lookin' for you, Florrie.--Where you been?

MRS. MADDEN [_without looking up_]. Wat d' y' say?

MADDEN. Where you been, Florrie? [_With even greater anxiety._] You
didn't go down by the river?

MRS. MADDEN [_looking up_]. Lord no! W'atev'r made y' think that? [_She
takes up a chocolate cream and bites off half of it._] I jus' took Mrs.
Montanio over t' Brailey's new place f'r a couple o' ice cream sodas.
[_She looks down again._]

MADDEN [_softly_]. Oh. [_A shadow passes over his face and vanishes._]
Florrie. [_He sits down on the left arm of the morris chair and puts his
arm affectionately about her shoulders._] I didn't know what I was
sayin'.

MRS. MADDEN [_puzzled. Without looking up_]. W'at y' talkin' 'bout?

MADDEN [_pathetically_]. I guess I ought not to ask you to forgive me.

MRS. MADDEN [_looking up_]. F'give y'? [_Remembering._] Oh, yes--y'
_did_ call me some darn hard names.

MADDEN. I know. [_Slowly. Looking into her face._] D' you think you
_could_ forgive me?

MRS. MADDEN [_lazily_]. Sure. I guess so. Glad t' see y' got over yer
pet.

    [_He smiles a pathetic, eager smile, and takes her left hand,
    which is lying in her lap. With an impatient movement, she
    stretches her left arm out and back, carrying his left hand with
    it and forcing him off the arm of the chair._]

MRS. MADDEN. Say, Jim--look w'at's on th' table.

    [_Madden sighs softly and takes a few steps toward the table. He
    sees the candy box; a darker shadow appears on his face for a
    second or two, and is gone._]

MRS. MADDEN. Have a chocklick, Jim.

    [_She herself picks one up from the arm of the chair; then she
    looks down again at her book, eating the candy as she reads._]

MADDEN [_unheeding.--Taking a step or two back toward her from the
table. With deep feeling_]. Florrie. I got somethin' I want to tell you.
[_She does not look up. He takes another step toward her._] After you'd
gone out, I kept thinkin' ... thinkin' what mighta happened to you.

MRS. MADDEN [_with a short chuckle_]. Y' poor boob!

MADDEN. Florrie--look at me. [_She looks up with an expression of lazy
annoyance._] Out there--[_He gestures toward the door_] the river looked
so cold an' black--An' I couldn't find you-- ... I knew all of a sudden
I ... I hadn't really meant what I said to you.

MRS. MADDEN [_impatiently_]. That's all right. [_She looks down again at
her book._]

MADDEN [_with increasing emotion. Going to the arm chair and looking
down at her tenderly from behind it_]. I kept thinkin' ... thinkin' how
pretty an' how ... how good natured you are. [_With some
embarrassment._] I thought how we used to walk ... down by the river.
Four years ago ... you know--just before we was married.

MRS. MADDEN [_with growing annoyance_]. Don' choo want 'nuther
choclick, Jim?

MADDEN [_unheeding_]. Florrie--d'you remember that time ... the first
time you let me hold your hand?

MRS. MADDEN [_looking up impatiently_]. W'at's bitin' you? Don't y' see
I'm readin'? [_He steps back and to the left a pace or two. She looks
down again._]

MADDEN [_humbly_]. Scuse me, Florrie. I just wanted to tell you. [_With
great earnestness._] You know, I'd forgotten.... I mean I didn't
realize ... till just now--[_Awkwardly._] how fond ... how much I ... I
love you.

MRS. MADDEN [_thickly, through a chocolate cream which she is eating.
Without looking up._] Tha's ... nice.

    [_He looks at her pathetically, waiting, hoping that she will look
    up. His face is intense with longing. After a short interval he
    gives it up. He turns sadly and goes toward the door at the left,
    passing in back of the table._]

MRS. MADDEN [_taking another chocolate and looking after him. He has
almost reached the door_]. Jim. [_He stops and turns eagerly._] You
ain't such a bad ol' boy. [_His face is suddenly radiant. He takes
several steps back toward her, bringing him behind the table. She has
looked down at her book again. Coaxingly._] Goin' t' take me t'
Horseman's t'night f'r lobster?

    [_All the eagerness, the radiance, vanishes from his face.--He
    sits down heavily in the chair behind the table. He looks at her,
    uncomprehending, hurt, disillusionized._]

MRS. MADDEN [_without looking up_]. An' say--[_She puts another
chocolate in her mouth. Speaking through it thickly._] I'm jus' _dyin'_
t' see a real ... comical ... show.

    [_Madden's head droops. He looks at his wife dumbly, then back at
    the table. His left hand goes out toward the bills; then he drops
    both elbows limply on the table, resting his weight on them. Mrs.
    Madden does not look up, but continues to read and munch a
    chocolate cream. Madden stares in front of him miserably,
    hopelessly as_


  _The Curtain Falls._]




MANSIONS

  A PLAY

  BY HILDEGARDE FLANNER


  Copyright, 1920, by Hildegarde Flanner.
  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    HARRIET WILDE.
    LYDIA WILDE [_her niece_].
    JOE WILDE [_her nephew_].

  TIME: _Yesterday_.


  MANSIONS is an original play. The editors are indebted to Mr. Sam
  Hume for permission to include it in this volume. Applications for
  permission to produce this play must be made to Frank Shay, care
  Stewart & Kidd Company, Cincinnati, Ohio.



MANSIONS

A PLAY BY HILDEGARDE FLANNER


    [_In a small town on the southern border of a Middle-Western
    state, stands an old brick house. The town is sufficiently near
    the Mason and Dixon line to gather about its ankles the rustle of
    ancient petticoats of family pride and to step softly lest the
    delicate sounds should be lost in a too noisy world. Even this old
    brick house seems reticent of the present, and gazing aloofly from
    its arched windows, barely suffers the main street to run past its
    gate. Many of the blinds are drawn, as if the dwelling and its
    inhabitants preferred to hug to themselves the old strength of the
    past rather than to admit the untried things of the present._

    _The scene of the play is laid in the living-room. At the back is
    a wide door leading into the hallway beyond. At the left are
    French doors opening upon steps which might descend into the
    garden. At the right side of the room, and opposite the French
    doors, is a marble fireplace, while on either side of the
    fireplace and a little distant from it, is a tall window. To the
    left of the main door is a lounge upholstered in dark flowered
    tapestry, and to the right of the door is a mahogany secretary.
    Before the secretary and away from the hearth, an old-fashioned
    grand piano is placed diagonally, so that any one seated at the
    instrument would be partially facing the audience. To the left of
    the French doors is a lyre table, on which stands a bowl of
    flowers. Above the rear door hangs the portrait of a man._

    _When the curtain rises Harriet Wilde is discovered standing
    precisely in the middle of her great-grandfather's carpet which is
    precisely in the middle of the floor. To Harriet, ancestors are a
    passion, the future an imposition. Added to this, she is in her
    way, intelligent. Therefore even before she speaks, you who are
    observant know that she is a formidable person. Her voice is low,
    even, and--what is the adjective? Christian. Yes, Harriet is a
    good woman. But don't let that mislead you._]


HARRIET [_calling_]. Lydia!

    [_Lydia comes into the room from the garden. In fact, she has been
    coming and going for more than fifteen years at the word of her
    aunt, although she is now twenty-seven. Her hands appear sensitive
    and in some way, deprived and restless. She is dressed in a slim
    black gown which could be worn gracefully by no one else, although
    Lydia is not aware of this fact. In one hand she carries a pair of
    garden shears with handles painted scarlet; in the other, a bright
    spray of portulaca; while over her wrist is slung a garden hat.
    During their conversation Lydia moves fitfully about the room. Her
    manner changes from bitter drollery to a lonely timidness and from
    timidness to something akin to sulkiness. Harriet, whether seated
    or standing, gives the impression of having been for a long hour
    with dignity in the same position. She has no sympathy for Lydia
    nor any understanding of her. There is a wall of mistrust between
    the two. Both stoop to pick up stones, not to throw, but to build
    the wall even higher. Lydia employs by turns an attitude of
    cheerful cynicism and one of indifference, both planned to annoy
    her aunt, though without real malice. But this has become a
    habit._]

HARRIET. What are you doing, Lydia?

LYDIA. I had been trimming the rose hedge along the south garden, Aunt
Harriet.

HARRIET. But surely you can find something better to do than that, my
dear. [_She cannot help calling people "my dear." It is because she is
so superior._] Some one might see in if you trim it too much. We want a
bit of privacy in these inquisitive times.

LYDIA. The young plants on the edge of the walk needed sun.

HARRIET. Move the young plants. Don't sacrifice the rose hedge.
[_Pausing as she straightens the candle in an old brass candlestick on
the mantel._] I--it seems to me that the furniture has been disarranged.

LYDIA. I was changing it a little this morning.

HARRIET. May I ask why?

LYDIA [_eagerly_]. Oh, just--just to be changing. Don't you think it is
an improvement?

HARRIET [_coldly_]. It does very well. But I prefer it as it was. You
know yourself that this room has never been changed since your
grandfather died. [_Piously._] And as long as I am mistress in this
house, it shall remain exactly as he liked it.

    [_Lydia looks spitefully at the portrait over the rear door._]

HARRIET [_stepping to the window to the left of the fire-place and
lowering the curtain to the middle of the frame._] The court house will
be done before your brother is well enough to come downstairs, Lydia.
How astonished he will be to see it completed.

LYDIA. Yes. But he would much rather watch while it is being done.

HARRIET. Well naturally. But from upstairs you can't see through the
leaves of the maple tree. Why, Lydia, there isn't another tree for miles
around with such marvelous foliage. Great-grandfather Wilde did not
know, when he set out a sapling, that the county court house was to be
built--almost in its very shadow.

LYDIA. You always did admire any kind of a family tree.

HARRIET [_as if speaking to an unruly child_]. If Great-grandfather
Wilde heard you say that--

LYDIA [_with a sudden flash of spirit which dies almost before she
ceases to speak_]. If Great-grandfather Wilde heard me say that. It may
be he would have the excellent sense to come back and chop off a limb or
two, so that Joe could have sunlight in that little dark room up there,
and see out.

HARRIET [_lifting her left hand and letting it sink upon her knee with
the air of one who has suffered much, but can suffer more_]. Lydia, my
dear child, I am not responsible for your disposition this lovely
morning. Moreover, this is a fruitless--

LYDIA. Fruitless, fruitless! _Why_ couldn't he have planted an apple
tree? [_Throwing her head back slightly._] With blossoms in the spring
and fruit in the summer--

HARRIET. I beg your pardon?

LYDIA [_wearily_]. With blossoms in the spring and fruit in the summer.
[_Slowly and gazing toward the window._] Sounds rather pretty, doesn't
it?

HARRIET [_unsympathetically_]. I do not understand what you are talking
about.

LYDIA [_shortly_]. No.

HARRIET. It is always a source of sorrow to me, Lydia, that you show so
little pride in any of the really noble men in the Wilde family.

LYDIA. I never knew them.

HARRIET. But you could at least reverence what I tell you.

LYDIA [_cheerfully_]. Well, I do think great-great-grandfather must have
been a gay old person.

HARRIET. Gay old person!

LYDIA. Yes. The portulaca blooms so brightly on his grave. It's really
not bad, having your family buried in the front yard, if its dust
inspires a flower like this.

HARRIET. I don't see why you insist upon picking those. They wilt
immediately.

LYDIA [_looking appealingly at her aunt_]. Oh, but they're so bright and
gay! I can't keep my hands from them.

HARRIET [_scornfully smoothing her lace cuff_]. Really?

LYDIA [_for the moment a trifle lonely_]. Aunt Harriet, tell me why
these dead old men mean so much to you?

HARRIET [_breathlessly_]. Dead--old--men--? Why, Lydia? The Wildes came
up from Virginia and were among the very first pioneers, in this
section. They practically made this town and there is no better known
name here in the southern part of the state than ours. We--

LYDIA. Oh, yes. Of course, I've heard all that ever since I can
remember. [_Assuming an attitude of pride._] We have the oldest and most
aristocratic-looking house for miles around; the rose-hedge has bloomed
for fifty years--it's very nearly dead, too; General Someone drank out
of our well, or General Some-One-Else drowned in it, I always forget
which.

HARRIET. Lydia!

LYDIA [_soothingly_]. Oh, it doesn't make much difference which. That
doesn't worry me. But what does, is how you manage to put a halo around
all your fathers and grandfathers and--

HARRIET [_piously_]. Because they represent the noble traditions of a
noble past.

LYDIA. What about the noble present?

HARRIET [_looking vaguely about the room_]. I have not seen it.

LYDIA [_bitterly_]. No, you have not seen it. [_Turning to go._]

HARRIET. Just one moment, Lydia. I want to speak to you about your
brother.

LYDIA [_quickly_]. Did the doctor say that Joe is worse?

HARRIET. No. In fact, the doctor won't tell me anything. He and Joe seem
to have a secret. I can get nothing definite from the doctor at all. But
what I feel it my duty to ask you, Lydia, is this: Tell me truthfully.
Have you been speaking to Joe about--Heaven?

LYDIA. No. What a dreadful thing to even mention to a sick boy.

HARRIET. My dear, you are quite wrong. But some one has been
misinforming him.

LYDIA. Really?

HARRIET. Lydia, I am very distressed. [_Slowly._] Your young brother
holds the most unusual and sacrilegious ideas of immortality.

LYDIA [_indifferently_]. So?

HARRIET. No member of the Wilde family has ever held such ideas. It is
quite irregular.

LYDIA. What does he think?

HARRIET. I don't know that I can tell you clearly. It is all so
distasteful to me. But he declares--even in contradiction to my
explanation--that after death we continue our earthly occupations,--that
is, our studies, our ambitions--

LYDIA. That is a wonderful idea.

HARRIET [_not noticing_]. That if we die before accomplishing anything
on earth, we have a chance in the after-life to work. Work! Imagine! In
fact he pictures Heaven as a place where people are--doing things.

LYDIA [_lifting her head and smiling_]. Oh, that is beautiful--I mean,
what did you tell him?

HARRIET [_reverently_]. I explained very carefully that Heaven is peace,
peace. That the first thing we do when a dear one dies, is to pray for
the eternal rest of his soul.

LYDIA [_dully_]. Oh.

HARRIET. Yes, Lydia, I am glad to see that you share my distress.
Why--he desecrates the conception of Heaven with workmen, artists,
inventors, musicians--anything but angels.

LYDIA. Anything but angels. [_Smiles._] That is quite new, is it not? At
least in this little town. Does Joe see himself building houses in
Heaven?

HARRIET. That is the worst of it. Why, Lydia, even after I told him
patiently that there were no such things as architects in Heaven, he
still insists that if he dies, he is going to be one.

LYDIA [_startled_]. If he should die?

HARRIET [_decidedly_]. That is simply another foolish fancy. He has been
confined so long, that he gets restless and imagines these strange
things.

LYDIA. Poor Joe.

HARRIET. Don't sympathize with him, please. I can't possibly allow him
to become an architect.

LYDIA. Why not?

HARRIET. When the men in our family have been clergymen for four
generations?

LYDIA. Yes, but they're dead now.

HARRIET. All the more reason for continuing the tradition.

LYDIA. There isn't one bit of money in it.

HARRIET [_proudly_]. When was a Wilde ever slave to money?

LYDIA [_sulkily_]. Certainly not since my day, and for a very, very good
reason.

HARRIET. Well, at least we have sufficient to send Joe to college--and
as a divinity student. And some day we will hear him preach in the house
of the Lord.

LYDIA. He would rather build houses himself.

HARRIET. Simply a boyish whim. He's too young to really have a mind of
his own. [_Confidently._] He will do what I tell him to.

LYDIA. He is very nearly nineteen, Aunt Harriet. Didn't you have a mind
of your own when you were nineteen?

HARRIET. Certainly not. Yes, of course.

    [_Lydia laughs._]

HARRIET [_the hem of her skirt bellowing with dignity._] This is
entirely different. If you can't be polite, Lydia, you might at least
stop laughing.

LYDIA [_still laughing_]. Oh, no--oh, no--I take after my
great-great-grandfather. I've just discovered it. At last I'm interested
in the noble men of the Wilde family. I know he liked to laugh. Look at
the pertness of that! [_Holding up the portulaca._]

HARRIET [_ignoring the flower_]. Please give me your sun-hat, Lydia.

LYDIA [_demurely_]. Oh, are you going to look at the portulaca?

HARRIET. No. I am going to see what you have done to the rose-hedge.
[_Going out through the French door._]

LYDIA [_suddenly furious_]. Go look at your decrepit old rose-hedge! Go
look at it! And I hope you get hurt on a thorn and bleed, yes,
bleed--the way you make me bleed. I did cut a hole in it. I don't care
who sees in--I want to see out! [_Looking toward the portrait and
throwing the flowers on the floor._] Take your stupid flowers--take
them. They don't do me any good. They're withering, they're withering!

    [_She goes to lean against the window and look toward the court
    house. As she stands there, the door opens slowly and Joe, with
    blankets wrapped about him and trailing from his shoulders, comes
    unsteadily into the room. He carries paper and drawing materials.
    He is an eager boy, who seems always afraid of being overtaken.
    Lydia turns suddenly and starts toward the door. She stops in
    surprise as she sees her brother._]

LYDIA. Joe! My goodness! Whatever made you come downstairs? Aunt Harriet
will be angry. Why this might be awfully dangerous for you, Joe. How did
you come to do such a thing?

    [_She helps him toward the lounge and arranges a cushion for him._]

JOE [_sinking back, but facing the window_]. I wanted to see how the
court house was getting on. I can't see out of my window, you know.

LYDIA. Well, you see [_Raising the blind._] they will soon have it done.

JOE [_delightedly_]. Yes, won't they, though. Look at those white
pillars! That's worth something, I tell you. I'm glad I saw it.

LYDIA. What do you mean?

JOE. Just what I said.

LYDIA. Yes, but, Joe--coming down stairs this way, when you have been
really ill--

JOE. Oh, don't argue, Lydia. I have just been arguing with Aunt Harriet.

LYDIA. You'd better rest then. You will have to, anyway, before you go
back to your room. I see you plan to draw.

JOE. Yes, I've been lazy for so long. It's driving me crazy, never doing
anything. I thought I'd copy some Greek columns this morning. Could you
give me a large book to work on?

LYDIA. I'll look for one. [_Hunting._] Joe, what were you and Aunt
Harriet arguing about?

JOE. Oh, nothing.

LYDIA. Yes, I've heard her do that before. But won't you tell me?

JOE. It wasn't anything, Lydia.

LYDIA. Here is what you want.

    [_She brings a large bound volume from the piano and places it
    upon his knees._]

JOE. Thank you. [_Settling himself to draw._] Where is she, by the way?

LYDIA. Out looking at the rose-hedge, where I cut a hole in it.

JOE. A hole in the sacred rose-hedge! Where did you suddenly get the
courage? I've heard you talk about doing such things before, but you
never really did them.

LYDIA [_timidly_]. I don't know, Joe, where I got my courage. I think
it's leaving me, too.

    [_She puts out her hand as if trying to detain some one._]

JOE [_cheerfully_]. Come stand by me. I have--I have a great deal of
courage this morning.

    [_Lydia stands behind Joe and looks over his shoulder._]

JOE [_turning to her affectionately_]. It's good I have you, Lydia. Aunt
Harriet has a fit every time she sees me doing this.

LYDIA. Having them is part of her religion.

JOE. Well, this is mine. What is yours, Lydia? I don't believe I ever
heard you say.

LYDIA [_shortly_]. I haven't any.

JOE. Sure enough?

LYDIA [_nodding, then speaking quite slowly_]. I never did anything for
any one out of love, and I was never allowed to do anything I wanted to
for joy. So I know that I have no religion.

JOE [_embarrassed_]. Never mind. Perhaps that will all come to you some
day. [_Joe suddenly sits erect and looks first toward the French door
and then toward the window._] I wonder what you will do when I go?

LYDIA [_following the direction of his gaze_]. Where?

JOE. Oh--to college.

LYDIA. Perhaps when you go to college I'll do something Aunt Harriet
doesn't think is regular.

JOE. What will it be?

LYDIA. How can I know now? How should I want to know?

    [_Joe looks over his shoulder toward the rear door of the room._]

LYDIA [_nervously_]. What do you see?

JOE. Nothing--nothing.

LYDIA. Then please stop looking at it.

JOE [_meeting her eyes for the fraction of a moment and then holding up
the sheet of paper._] I am actually getting some form into this column.
If I could only learn to design beautiful buildings--

    [_He puts his hand to his side in sudden pain._]

LYDIA [_not noting his action_]. Why, of course you will some day.

JOE. I don't know. Sometimes I'm afraid I won't get the chance.

LYDIA. Oh, you'll be a man. You can ride over Aunt Harriet.

    [_Joe looks at his copy and crumples it savagely. Suddenly he
    holds up his hand and listens._]

JOE. What was that bell?

LYDIA. I did not hear any.

JOE. I did.

LYDIA. It must have been the side door. Some one will answer it.

JOE. Do people often come by the side door?

LYDIA. Why, Joe, you know very well that the delivery boy always comes
there.

JOE. Delivery?--I wonder--will it be delivery?

LYDIA. Joe, you're even odder than I am. Stop it. It doesn't do to have
two in the family.

JOE [_laughing_]. Oh, just as you say. [_Looking at the book on his
knee_.] What is this big book?

LYDIA. Music.

JOE [_opening the book_]. Why, it has your name in it.

LYDIA. It is my book.

JOE [_in surprise_]. Did you ever play the piano?

LYDIA [_turning aside_]. Yes.

JOE [_his face lighting up_]. Play something now, please.

LYDIA. That piano has been locked for fifteen years.

JOE. Ever since mother died and you and I came here to live?

LYDIA. Yes. Haven't you ever wondered why it was never open?

JOE. I certainly have. But Aunt Harriet always avoided the subject and I
could never get you to say anything about it.

LYDIA. By the time I had tried it for two years, I knew better.

JOE. But why is it locked?

LYDIA. Because I neglected my duties. I played the piano when I should
have been studying, and I played when I should have been hemming linen,
and I played when I should have been learning psalms.

JOE. But surely when you grew older--when you were through school--

LYDIA. No. I lied to her once about it. She made me promise not to
touch the piano, and left it open on purpose to see what I would do.
And I played and she heard me. So when I denied it--[_Shrugging her
shoulders._] You see, after that, to have let me go on, playing and
undisciplined--why, it would have meant the loss of my soul. [_Very
pleasantly._] It would have meant hell, at least, Joe dear, and I don't
know what else. Aunt Harriet has always been so careful about what I
learned.

JOE [_angrily_]. But surely you are old enough now to do what you want
to! I'll ask her myself if--

LYDIA [_alarmed_]. Oh, no, Joe! Please, please don't do that. I should
be frightened, really. It is a matter of religion with her.

JOE. And don't you know how to play any longer?

LYDIA. Yes, some. I sneak into the church when no one is there and play
on that piano. [_She walks to the instrument, and sitting down before
it, rubs her palms lovingly across the closed lid._] When you were away
six months ago, this was opened to be tuned for those young cousins of
hers who visited. They were lively young girls, and the first thing they
did every morning was to go to the piano. They would have asked
questions if it had been locked, and Aunt Harriet hates inquisitiveness
like poison.

JOE. Where is the key?

LYDIA. I don't know where it is now. She has probably thrown it away. It
would be just like her to do it. [_Changing her manner suddenly and
rising._] Joe, wouldn't you like a cup of tea?

JOE [_earnestly_]. No, I wouldn't. Sit down, Lydia.

    [_Lydia sits down again. Joe starts to speak, but stops to look
    about the room._]

LYDIA. Joe, what are you looking for?

JOE [_slowly and reluctantly_]. I can't get over the feeling that I am
expecting some one.

LYDIA. Who is it?

JOE [_evasively_]. I don't know. Some one I never saw before.

LYDIA [_laughing_]. An unknown visitor knocks before he comes in the
door.

JOE. I'm not sure that this one will.

    [_He closes his eyes wearily and puts his palms before them._]

LYDIA [_gently_]. Joe, you're tired. Please go upstairs.

JOE. Not quite yet. [_Eagerly._] Lydia, you know what Aunt Harriet and I
were arguing about. I saw it in your eyes.

LYDIA. Of course. It's a beautiful idea.

JOE [_excitedly_]. Then you think I'm right.

LYDIA [_looking at the piano_]. I hope to Heaven you are.

JOE [_pleading_]. Then do something for me, Lydia, please.

LYDIA. What?

JOE. I've been so worried lately to think--how awful it is if a person
dies without accomplishing anything.

LYDIA. I wish you wouldn't talk like that.

JOE [_hastily_]. I wasn't speaking for myself. I meant, just generally,
you know. But what I have been figuring out, is this--so long as you
believe that you can go on working after you leave here, it's all right,
isn't it?

LYDIA [_hesitant_]. Yes.

JOE [_thoughtfully and as though on unaccustomed ground_]. But when you
first go over, you are rather weak--

LYDIA. You mean your soul?

JOE [_speaking hurriedly_]. Yes, that's it. And you mustn't be worried
by grief or any force working against you from the people you've left
behind.

LYDIA. Yes, I follow you. Where did you learn all this?

JOE. In a book at the library.

LYDIA [_uncertainly_]. I think I have heard of some theory--

JOE [_impatiently_]. I'm not bothering about theories. I haven't got
time for them. In fact, I'd almost forgotten about the whole idea until
the other day. Something the doctor told me set me thinking. He is
really a splendid man, Lydia.

LYDIA [_indifferently_]. Yes, I've always thought so. But what is it you
want me to do for you, Joe? Aunt Harriet may come in any moment.

JOE [_looking at Lydia very fixedly and speaking slowly_]. Just this.
When I die, don't let Aunt Harriet pray for my soul.

LYDIA. Joe!

JOE. Yes, I mean it. She has a powerful mind. And she would pray for my
eternal rest and I might not be strong enough to stand against her.

LYDIA [_starting toward the rear door_]. I won't listen to you any
longer. It is wrong to talk and think about death.

JOE. Lydia, please! It means so much to me. Listen just one second. I
know I'm not very good, but Aunt Harriet would be sure to try to make an
angel out of me. And if I thought I had to sit on those everlasting gold
steps and twang an everlasting gold harp forever and forever--Lydia, I'd
go crazy, I'd go crazy!

    [_His voice rises to a scream and he sinks back gasping._]

LYDIA [_rushing to his side_]. I promise anything. Only don't excite
yourself this way. For Heaven's sake, Joe, be quiet.

JOE [_insisting_]. But don't let her pray. And make her give you the key
to the piano, and you play something so I can go out in
harmony.--Harmony--do you understand that, Lydia? Harmony. That's the
word they used so often in the book. Do you promise surely?

LYDIA [_tearfully_]. Yes, but, Joe, you're not going to die. You're not!
The doctor would have told us something about it.

JOE. Of course, I'm not going to. Not until I get good and ready. Don't
be silly. But remember, when it does happen, you must not cry. That is
very hard on souls that are just starting out.

LYDIA. I--I can see how it might be.

JOE. You won't forget to smile?

LYDIA. No.

JOE. But smile now, for practice.

LYDIA [_trying to smile, but failing_]. Oh, I can smile for you easily
enough; but don't frighten me like that again.

JOE. I'll try not to.

LYDIA [_suddenly facing him_]. Do you expect Aunt Harriet to live as
long as you do?

JOE [_with a second's hesitation_]. Yes, I'm quite sure she will. The
Wildes have the habit of living long, you know.

LYDIA. But why shouldn't you live longer than she, since you are
younger?

JOE. Oh, I don't know. I'd rather like to get ahead of her in something,
though.

LYDIA. Well, you do believe in preparation. I can't see why you are
being so beforehanded, but if it gives you any pleasure to scare me to
death----

JOE. It certainly does, Lydia. And just one thing more, I want of you.

LYDIA. What?

JOE [_rather shyly_]. Take the Bible and read something to bind the
promise. Just any verse.

LYDIA. This is becoming too solemn. I don't care for it.

    [_She approaches the lyre table, upon which, of course, is a Bible,
    and opens the book._]

JOE. Then I'll be ready to go.

LYDIA [_looking at him sharply_]. Go?

JOE. Upstairs.

    [_Lydia turns the leaves of the Bible._]

JOE. This will be our secret, Lydia. [_He leans forward and looks out
the French door, then turns to her impatiently._] What are you waiting
for?

LYDIA. Yes, Joe, our secret. Let me see. Mother was always very fond of
John. [_Joe makes a movement of pain, which Lydia does not see._] Oh, I
have the very thing to read you. How strange! It sounds like a prophecy
for you.

JOE. Read it. [_Steps are heard in the garden. Joe looks up in alarm._]
Who is that coming?

LYDIA. Only Aunt Harriet.

    [_Harriet Wilde comes in through the French door._]

HARRIET. I managed, Lydia, to some extent, to repair the damage which
you----[_Seeing Joe, she stops in surprise._] Actually, Joe downstairs!
But I felt certain this morning, my dear, when you were arguing in that
unheard-of fashion, that you must be better.

LYDIA [_hastily_]. I don't think it has hurt him to come down, Aunt
Harriet.

HARRIET. On the contrary, I think it has done him good.

JOE. I should say it did, Aunt Harriet,--you don't know how much.
[_Again he looks toward the rear door._]

HARRIET. What is it, Joe dear? Is the doctor coming again?

JOE. No, I hardly think the doctor will need to come again.

HARRIET. Why, how gratifying. I am so glad.

    [_Joe closes his eyes wearily._]

LYDIA. Aunt Harriet, Joe was just about to go up to his room, but he
asked me to read something to him from the Bible first. I opened to this
passage. Won't you read it to him?

HARRIET. Yes, I will indeed. It gives me great happiness, Joe, to see
you really showing a desire for the holy word of the Scripture.

    [_Harriet takes the Bible from Lydia and stands in the light by
    the French door. She faces slightly away from Joe. Lydia walks to
    the rear door and stands directly beneath the portrait. She
    conceals a smile and looks expectantly toward her aunt._]

[_Reading_]: Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe
also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I
would have told you. I----

JOE [_sitting erect and interrupting_]. Many mansions--many
mansions--Lydia, Aunt Harriet--who said I couldn't build
hou--houses--in----

    [_He sinks back. Harriet does not look at him, but shuts the Bible
    with displeasure and moves forward to place it on the table._]

HARRIET [_coldly_]. That is positive sacrilege, Joe.

    [_Lydia laughs triumphantly and steps to Joe's side, walking on
    her tip-toes and pretending to dance, pleased at her aunt's
    discomfiture._]

LYDIA [_stopping by Joe and bending over him_]. Didn't I say it was a
prophecy?

    [_Joe does not answer nor open his eyes. Lydia takes his hand and
    then drops it in fear._]

LYDIA. Aunt Harriet, come here quickly!

    [_Harriet comes swiftly and stoops over Joe. She feels of his
    pulse and lays her hand against his heart._]

HARRIET. Joe, Joe!

LYDIA [_moving distractedly toward the door_]. I'll call the doctor.

HARRIET [_standing very straight and twisting her handkerchief_]. It
will do no good, Lydia. Joe has gone. This is the way your father went
and your grandfather--all the men in the Wilde family. But this is
irregular. They never died so young.

    [_Lydia covers her face with her hands._]

HARRIET. And he seems so well. Why didn't the doctor--Lydia! This was
their secret--this is what they wouldn't tell me!

LYDIA. Secret? Which secret?

    [_She looks at Joe and clasps her hands in anguish. Harriet kneels
    by the lounge and begins to pray._]

HARRIET. Dear Lord, I do beseech thee to grant peace and eternal rest to
thy child come home to thee. Grant that he may forever sit in thy
presence----

    [_Lydia, slowly realizing what her aunt is saying, runs to her
    side and makes her rise._]

LYDIA. Stop that! Stop it, I say! You worried him enough when he was
alive. Now that he's dead, let him do what he wants to.

HARRIET. Lydia! You have lost your senses. Be calm, be calm. [_Harriet
crosses to the table and picks up the Bible._] Come. We will read a few
verses and have faith that--

LYDIA [_snatching the Bible from her aunt_]. No you shan't! Let him
alone. Oh, Joe, Joe, I'm trying. Be brave! You knew, all along. You were
watching, you were expecting. Why didn't you tell me? [_Lydia looks from
Joe to the piano and back to Joe. She composes herself and puts her
hands on her aunt's shoulders._] Where is the key to the piano?

HARRIET [_horrified_]. You wouldn't touch the piano in the presence of
death!

LYDIA. Where is the key?

HARRIET [_unable to fathom Lydia's strange demand_]. It is gone. I don't
know where it is.

LYDIA. Don't you? Don't you? [_Sliding her hands toward her aunt's
throat and turning toward Joe._] Be brave, Joe. [_Speaking to her
aunt._] Then if the key is gone, I shall have to take the fire-tongs.

    [_Lydia steps toward the fire-place._]

HARRIET. Lydia! Don't touch them! What are you about?

LYDIA [_coming again to her aunt and placing her hands on her
shoulders_]. I want--that--key. And I want it quickly.

    [_They look squarely into one another's eyes._]

HARRIET [_uncertainly_]. I can't give it to you now. I will never give
it to you.

LYDIA. No? [_Almost breaking down._] Joe, why didn't you tell me?
[_Walking toward the hearth._] Very well, Aunt Harriet.

HARRIET [_passing her hand over her eyes in terror_]. Wait! Look in that
old vase on the mantel. No--the one that we never use--with the crack in
it--

    [_Lydia takes down the vase and tilts it. A key falls on the
    hearth with a ringing sound. She picks it up and quickly opens the
    piano._]

HARRIET. To think that this should happen in my house. Lord, what have I
done to deserve it?

LYDIA [_seating herself at the piano_]. Joe, this sounds like wind
blowing through willow trees. [_She plays softly._] Good-by, Joe,
good-by, dear. Good luck!

HARRIET [_pulling down the blinds on either side of the fire-place_].
Lydia, have you no religion?

LYDIA [_controlling her agitation_]. Yes--I have.

HARRIET [_looking from Lydia to Joe_]. I can't understand. Joe, poor
Joe.

LYDIA. Let not your heart be troubled.... [_Continuing to play._] I'm
smiling, Joe. I'm laughing, Joe! Be strong....

    [_Harriet is stupefied. She starts toward Lydia, but stops. She
    lifts the Bible from the table, but replaces it hastily, as Lydia
    looks across at her._]

LYDIA [_dreamily_]. In my Father's house are many mansions.

    [_Harriet looks to the portrait above the door, as if for help._]

LYDIA. If it were not so--I would have told you--

    [_And Lydia looks mystically out into space and continues to play
    while_


  _The Curtain Falls._]




TRIFLES

  A PLAY

  BY SUSAN GLASPELL


  Copyright, 1920, by Small, Maynard & Company.
  All rights reserved.


  TRIFLES was first produced by the Provincetown Players, at the Wharf
  Theatre, Provincetown, Mass., on August 8th, 1916, with the following
  cast:

    GEORGE HENDERSON    _Robert Rogers_.
    HENRY PETERS        _Robert Conville_.
    LEWIS HALE          _George Cram Cook_.
    MRS. PETERS         _Alice Hall_.
    MRS. HALE           _Susan Glaspell_.

  It was later produced by the Washington Square Players at the Comedy
  Theatre, New York City, on the night of November 15th, 1916, with the
  following cast:

    GEORGE HENDERSON    _T. W. Gibson_.
    HENRY PETERS        _Arthur E. Hohl_.
    LEWIS HALE          _John King_.
    MRS. PETERS         _Marjorie Vonnegut_.
    MRS. HALE           _Elinor M. Cox_.


  Reprinted from "Plays" by Susan Glaspell, published by Small, Maynard
  & Company, by permission of Miss Susan Glaspell and Messrs. Small,
  Maynard & Company. The professional and amateur stage rights on this
  play are strictly reserved by the author. Applications for permission
  to produce this play must be made to Miss Susan Glaspell, care of
  Small, Maynard & Company, 41 Mt. Vernon Street, Boston, Mass.



TRIFLES

A PLAY BY SUSAN GLASPELL


    [SCENE: _The kitchen in the now abandoned farm-house of John
    Wright, a gloomy kitchen, and left without having been put in
    order--unwashed pans under the sink, a loaf of bread outside the
    bread-box, a dish-towel on the table--other signs of incompleted
    work. At the rear the outer door opens and the Sheriff comes in
    followed by the County Attorney and Hale. The Sheriff and Hale are
    men in middle life, the County Attorney is a young man; all are
    much bundled up and go at once to the stove. They are followed by
    the two women--the Sheriff's wife first; she is a slight wiry
    woman, a thin nervous face. Mrs. Hale is larger and would
    ordinarily be called more comfortable looking, but she is
    disturbed now and looks fearfully about as she enters. The women
    have come in slowly, and stand close together near the door._]


COUNTY ATTORNEY [_rubbing his hands_]. This feels good. Come up to the
fire, ladies.

MRS. PETERS [_after taking a step forward_]. I'm not--cold.

SHERIFF [_unbuttoning his overcoat and stepping away from the stove as
if to mark the beginning of official business_]. Now, Mr. Hale, before
we move things about, you explain to Mr. Henderson just what you saw
when you came here yesterday morning.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. By the way, has anything been moved? Are things just as
you left them yesterday?

SHERIFF [_looking about_]. It's just the same. When it dropped below
zero last night I thought I'd better send Frank out this morning to make
a fire for us--no use getting pneumonia with a big case on, but I told
him not to touch anything except the stove--and you know Frank.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Somebody should have been left here yesterday.

SHERIFF. Oh--yesterday. When I had to send Frank to Morris Center for
that man who went crazy--I want you to know I had my hands full
yesterday. I knew you could get back from Omaha by to-day and as long as
I went over everything here myself--

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Well, Mr. Hale, tell just what happened when you came
here yesterday morning.

HALE. Harry and I had started to town with a load of potatoes. We came
along the road from my place and as I got here I said, "I'm going to see
if I can't get John Wright to go in with me on a party telephone." I
spoke to Wright about it once before and he put me off, saying folks
talked too much anyway, and all he asked was peace and quiet--I guess
you know about how much he talked himself; but I thought maybe if I went
to the house and talked about it before his wife, though I said to Harry
that I didn't know as what his wife wanted made much difference to
John--

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Let's talk about that later, Mr. Hale. I do want to
talk about that, but tell now just what happened when you got to the
house.

HALE. I didn't hear or see anything; I knocked at the door, and still it
was all quiet inside. I knew they must be up, it was past eight o'clock.
So I knocked again, and I thought I heard somebody say "Come in." I
wasn't sure, I'm not sure yet, but I opened the door--this door
[_indicating the door by which the two women are still standing_] and
there in that rocker--[_pointing to it_] sat Mrs. Wright.

    [_They all look at the rocker._]

COUNTY ATTORNEY. What--was she doing?

HALE. She was rockin' back and forth. She had her apron in her hand and
was kind of--pleating it.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. And how did she--look?

HALE. Well, she looked queer.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. How do you mean--queer?

HALE. Well, as if she didn't know what she was going to do next. And
kind of done up.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. How did she seem to feel about your coming?

HALE. Why, I don't think she minded--one way or other. She didn't pay
much attention. I said, "How do, Mrs. Wright, it's cold, ain't it?" And
she said "Is it?"--and went on kind of pleating at her apron. Well, I
was surprised; she didn't ask me to come up to the stove, or to set
down, but just sat there, not even looking at me, so I said, "I want to
see John." And then she--laughed. I guess you would call it a laugh. I
thought of Harry and the team outside, so I said a little sharp: "Can't
I see John?" "No," she says, kind o' dull like. "Ain't he home?" says I.
"Yes," says she, "he's home." "Then why can't I see him?" I asked her,
out of patience. "'Cause he's dead," says she. "_Dead_?" says I. She
just nodded her head, not getting a bit excited, but rockin' back and
forth. "Why--where is he?" says I, not knowing what to say. She just
pointed upstairs--like that [_himself pointing to the room above_]. I
got up, with the idea of going up there. I walked from there to
here--then I says, "Why, what did he die of?" "He died of a rope round
his neck," says she, and just went on pleatin' at her apron. Well, I
went out and called Harry. I thought I might--need help. We went
upstairs and there he was lyin'----

COUNTY ATTORNEY. I think I'd rather have you go into that upstairs,
where you can point it all out. Just go on now with the rest of the
story.

HALE. Well, my first thought was to get that rope off. It looked....
[_Stops, his face twitches._] ... but Harry, he went up to him, and he
said, "No, he's dead all right, and we'd better not touch anything." So
we went back down stairs. She was still sitting that same way. "Has
anybody been notified?" I asked. "No," says he, unconcerned. "Who did
this, Mrs. Wright?" said Harry. He said it business-like--and she
stopped pleatin' of her apron. "I don't know," she says. "You don't
_know_?" says Harry. "No," says she. "Weren't you sleepin' in the bed
with him?" says Harry. "Yes," says she, "but I was on the inside."
"Somebody slipped a rope round his neck and strangled him and you didn't
wake up?" says Harry. "I didn't wake up," she said after him. We must 'a
looked as if we didn't see how that could be, for after a minute she
said, "I sleep sound." Harry was going to ask her more questions, but I
said maybe we ought to let her tell her story first to the coroner, or
the sheriff, so Harry went fast as he could to Rivers' place, where
there's a telephone.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. And what did Mrs. Wright do when she knew that you had
gone for the coroner?

HALE. She moved from that chair to this over here.... [_Pointing to a
small chair in the corner._] ... and just sat there with her hands held
together and looking down. I got a feeling that I ought to make some
conversation, so I said I had come in to see if John wanted to put in a
telephone, and at that she started to laugh, and then she stopped and
looked at me--scared. [_The County Attorney, who has had his notebook
out, makes a note._] I dunno, maybe it wasn't scared. I wouldn't like to
say it was. Soon Harry got back, and then Dr. Lloyd came, and you, Mr.
Peters, and so I guess that's all I know that you don't.

COUNTY ATTORNEY [_looking around_]. I guess we'll go upstairs first--and
then out to the barn and around there. [_To the Sheriff._] You're
convinced that there was nothing important here--nothing that would
point to any motive?

SHERIFF. Nothing here but kitchen things.

    [_The County Attorney, after again looking around the kitchen,
    opens the door of a cupboard closet. He gets up on a chair and
    looks on a shelf. Pulls his hand away, sticky._]

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Here's a nice mess.

    [_The women draw nearer._]

MRS. PETERS [_to the other woman_]. Oh, her fruit; it did freeze. [_To
the Lawyer._] She worried about that when it turned so cold. She said
the fire'd go out and her jars would break.

SHERIFF. Well, can you beat the women! Held for murder and worryin'
about her preserves.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. I guess before we're through she may have something
more serious than preserves to worry about.

HALE. Well, women are used to worrying over trifles.

    [_The two women move a little closer together._]

COUNTY ATTORNEY [_with the gallantry of a young politician_]. And yet,
for all their worries, what would we do without the ladies? [_The women
do not unbend. He goes to the sink, takes a dipperful of water from the
pail and pouring it into a basin, washes his hands. Starts to wipe them
on the roller-towel, turns it for a cleaner place._] Dirty towels!
[_Kicks his foot against the pans under the sink._] Not much of a
housekeeper, would you say, ladies?

MRS. HALE [_stiffly_]. There's a great deal of work to be done on a
farm.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. To be sure. And yet.... [_With a little bow to
her._] ... I know there are some Dickson county farmhouses which do
not have such roller towels.

    [_He gives it a pull to expose its full length again._]

MRS. HALE. Those towels get dirty awful quick. Men's hands aren't always
as clean as they might be.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Ah, loyal to your sex, I see. But you and Mrs. Wright
were neighbors. I suppose you were friends, too.

MRS. HALE [_shaking her head_]. I've not seen much of her of late years.
I've not been in this house--it's more than a year.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. And why was that? You didn't like her?

MRS. HALE. I liked her all well enough. Farmers' wives have their hands
full, Mr. Henderson. And then--

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Yes--?

MRS. HALE [_looking about_]. It never seemed a very cheerful place.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. No--it's not cheerful. I shouldn't say she had the
homemaking instinct.

MRS. HALE. Well, I don't know as Wright had, either.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. You mean that they didn't get on very well?

MRS. HALE. No, I don't mean anything. But I don't think a place'd be any
cheerful for John Wright's being in it.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. I'd like to talk more of that a little later. I want to
get the lay of things upstairs now.

    [_He goes to the left, where three steps lead to a stair door._]

SHERIFF. I suppose anything Mrs. Peters does'll be all right. She was to
take in some clothes for her, you know, and a few little things. We left
in such a hurry yesterday.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Yes, but I would like to see what you take, Mrs.
Peters, and keep an eye out for anything that might be of use to us.

MRS. PETERS. Yes, Mr. Henderson.

    [_The women listen to the men's steps on the stairs, then look
    about the kitchen._]

MRS. HALE. I'd hate to have men coming into my kitchen, snooping around
and criticizing.

    [_She arranges the pans under sink which the Lawyer had shoved out
    of place._]

MRS. PETERS. Of course it's no more than their duty.

MRS. HALE. Duty's all right, but I guess that deputy sheriff that came
out to make the fire might have got a little of this on. [_Gives the
roller towel a pull._] Wish I'd thought of that sooner. Seems mean to
talk about her for not having things slicked up when she had to come
away in such a hurry.

MRS. PETERS [_who has gone to a small table in the left rear corner of
the room, and lifted one end of a towel that covers a pan_]. She had
bread set. [_Stands still._]

MRS. HALE [_eyes fixed on a loaf of bread beside the bread-box, which is
on a low shelf at the other side of the room. Moves slowly toward it._]
She was going to put this in there. [_Picks up loaf, then abruptly
drops it. In a manner of returning to familiar things._] It's a shame
about her fruit. I wonder if it's all gone. [_Gets up on the chair and
looks._] I think there's some here that's all right, Mrs. Peters.
Yes--here; [_Holding it toward the window._] this is cherries, too.
[_Looking again._] I declare I believe that's the only one. [_Gets down,
bottle in her hand. Goes to the sink and wipes it off on the outside._]
She'll feel awful bad after all her hard work in the hot weather. I
remember the afternoon I put up my cherries last summer.

    [_She puts the bottle on the big kitchen table, center of the
    room, front table. With a sigh, is about to sit down in the
    rocking-chair. Before she is seated realizes what chair it is;
    with a slow look at it, steps back. The chair which she has
    touched rocks back and forth._]

MRS. PETERS. Well, I must get those things from the front room closet.
[_She goes to the door at the right, but after looking into the other
room, steps back._] You coming with me, Mrs. Hale? You could help me
carry them.

    [_They go in the other room; reappear, Mrs. Peters carrying a
    dress and skirt, Mrs. Hale following with a pair of shoes._]

MRS. PETERS. My, it's cold in there.

    [_She puts the cloth on the big table, and hurries to the stove._]

MRS. HALE [_examining the skirt_]. Wright was close. I think maybe
that's why she kept so much to herself. She didn't even belong to the
Ladies' Aid. I suppose she felt she couldn't do her part, and then you
don't enjoy things when you feel shabby. She used to wear pretty clothes
and be lively, when she was Minnie Foster, one of the town girls singing
in the choir. But that--oh, that was thirty years ago. This all you was
to take in?

MRS. PETERS. She said she wanted an apron. Funny thing to want, for
there isn't much to get you dirty in jail, goodness knows. But I suppose
just to make her feel more natural. She said they was in the top drawer
in this cupboard. Yes, here. And then her little shawl that always hung
behind the door. [_Opens stair door and looks._] Yes, here it is.

    [_Quickly shuts door leading upstairs._]

MRS. HALE [_abruptly moving toward her_]. Mrs. Peters?

MRS. PETERS. Yes, Mrs. Hale?

MRS. HALE. Do you think she did it?

MRS. PETERS [_in a frightened voice_]. Oh, I don't know.

MRS. HALE. Well, I don't think she did. Asking for an apron and her
little shawl. Worrying about her fruit.

MRS. PETERS [_starts to speak, glances up, where footsteps are heard in
the room above. In a low voice_]. Mr. Peters says it looks bad for her.
Mr. Henderson is awful sarcastic in a speech and he'll make fun of her
sayin' she didn't wake up.

MRS. HALE. Well, I guess John Wright didn't wake when they was slipping
that rope under his neck.

MRS. PETERS. No, it's strange. It must have been done awful crafty and
still. They say it was such a--funny way to kill a man, rigging it all
up like that.

MRS. HALE. That's just what Mr. Hale said. There was a gun in the house.
He says that's what he can't understand.

MRS. PETERS. Mr. Henderson said coming out that what was needed for the
case was a motive; something to show anger, or--sudden feeling.

MRS. HALE [_who is standing by the table_]. Well, I don't see any signs
of anger around here. [_She puts her hand on the dish towel which lies
on the table, stands looking down at table, one half of which is clean,
the other half messy._] It's wiped here. [_Makes a move as if to finish
work, then turns and looks at loaf of bread outside the bread-box. Drops
towel. In that voice of coming back to familiar things._] Wonder how
they are finding things upstairs? I hope she had it a little more red-up
up there. You know, it seems kind of _sneaking_. Locking her up in town
and then coming out here and trying to get her own house to turn against
her!

MRS. PETERS. But, Mrs. Hale, the law is the law.

MRS. HALE. I s'pose 'tis. [_Unbuttoning her coat._] Better loosen up
your things, Mrs. Peters. You won't feel them when you go out.

    [_Mrs. Peters takes off her fur tippet, goes to hang it on hook at
    back of room, stands looking at the under part of the small corner
    table._]

MRS. PETERS. She was piecing a quilt.

    [_She brings the large sewing basket and they look at the bright
    pieces._]

MRS. HALE. It's log cabin pattern. Pretty, isn't it? I wonder if she was
goin' to quilt it or just knot it?

    [_Footsteps have been heard coming down the stairs. The Sheriff
    enters, followed by Hale and the County Attorney._]

SHERIFF. They wonder if she was going to quilt it or just knot it.

    [_The men laugh, the women look abashed._]

COUNTY ATTORNEY [_rubbing his hands over the stove_]. Frank's fire
didn't do much up there, did it? Well, let's go out to the barn and get
that cleared up.

    [_The men go outside._]

MRS. HALE [_resentfully_]. I don't know as there's anything so strange,
our takin' up our time with little things while we're waiting for them
to get the evidence. [_She sits down at the big table smoothing out a
block of decision._] I don't see as it's anything to laugh about.

MRS. PETERS [_apologetically_]. Of course they've got awful important
things on their minds.

    [_Pulls up a chair and joins Mrs. Hale at the table._]

MRS. HALE [_examining another block_]. Mrs. Peters, look at this one.
Here, this is the one she was working on, and look at the sewing! All
the rest of it has been so nice and even. And look at this! It's all
over the place! Why, it looks as if she didn't know what she was about!

    [_After she has said this they look at each other, then start to
    glance back at the door. After an instant Mrs. Hale has pulled at
    a knot and ripped the sewing._]

MRS. PETERS. Oh, what are you doing, Mrs. Hale?

MRS. HALE [_mildly_]. Just pulling out a stitch or two that's not sewed
very good. [_Threading a needle._] Bad sewing always made me fidgety.

MRS. PETERS [_nervously_]. I don't think we ought to touch things.

MRS. HALE. I'll just finish up this end. [_Suddenly stopping and leaning
forward._] Mrs. Peters?

MRS. PETERS. Yes, Mrs. Hale?

MRS. HALE. What do you suppose she was so nervous about?

MRS. PETERS. Oh--I don't know. I don't know as she was nervous. I
sometimes sew awful queer when I'm just tired. [_Mrs. Hale starts to say
something, looks at Mrs. Peters, then goes on sewing._] Well, I must get
these things wrapped up. They may be through sooner than we think.
[_Putting apron and other things together._] I wonder where I can find a
piece of paper, and string.

MRS. HALE. In that cupboard, maybe.

MRS. PETERS [_looking in cupboard_]. Why, here's a bird-cage. [_Holds it
up._] Did she have a bird, Mrs. Hale?

MRS. HALE. Why, I don't know whether she did or not--I've not been here
for so long. There was a man around last year selling canaries cheap,
but I don't know as she took one; maybe she did. She used to sing real
pretty herself.

MRS. PETERS [_glancing around_]. Seems funny to think of a bird here.
But she must have had one, or why should she have a cage? I wonder what
happened to it?

MRS. HALE. I s'pose maybe the cat got it.

MRS. PETERS. No, she didn't have a cat. She's got that feeling some
people have about cats--being afraid of them. My cat got in her room and
she was real upset and asked me to take it out.

MRS. HALE. My sister Bessie was like that. Queer, ain't it?

MRS. PETERS [_examining the cage_]. Why, look at this door. It's broke.
One hinge is pulled apart.

MRS. HALE [_looking too_]. Looks as if some one must have been rough
with it.

MRS. PETERS. Why, yes.

    [_She brings the cage forward and puts it on the table._]

MRS. HALE. I wish if they're going to find any evidence they'd be about
it. I don't like this place.

MRS. PETERS. But I'm awful glad you came with me, Mrs. Hale. It would be
lonesome for me sitting here alone.

MRS. HALE. It would, wouldn't it? [_Dropping her sewing._] But I tell
you what I do wish, Mrs. Peters. I wish I had come over some times when
_she_ was here. I--[_Looking around the room._]--wish I had.

MRS. PETERS. But of course you were awful busy, Mrs. Hale--your house
and your children.

MRS. HALE. I could've come. I stayed away because it weren't
cheerful--and that's why I ought to have come. I--I've never liked this
place. Maybe because it's down in a hollow and you don't see the road. I
dunno what it is, but it's a lonesome place and always was. I wish I had
come over to see Minnie Foster sometimes. I can see now--

    [_Shakes her head._]

MRS. PETERS. Well, you mustn't reproach yourself, Mrs. Hale. Somehow we
just don't see how it is with other folks until--something comes up.

MRS. HALE. Not having children makes less work--but it makes a quiet
house, and Wright out to work all day, and no company when he did come
in. Did you know John Wright, Mrs. Peters?

MRS. PETERS. Not to know him; I've seen him in town. They say he was a
good man.

MRS. HALE. Yes--good; he didn't drink, and kept his word as well as
most, I guess, and paid his debts. But he was a hard man, Mrs. Peters.
Just to pass the time of day with him. [_Shivers._] Like a raw wind that
gets to the bone. [_Pauses, her eye falling on the cage._] I should
think she would 'a wanted a bird. But what do you suppose went with it?

MRS. PETERS. I don't know, unless it got sick and died.

    [_She reaches over and swings the broken door, swings it again,
    both women watch it._]

MRS. HALE. You weren't raised round here, were you? [_Mrs. Peters shakes
her head._] You didn't know--her?

MRS. PETERS. Not till they brought her yesterday.

MRS. HALE. She--come to think of it, she was kind of like a bird
herself--real sweet and pretty, but kind of timid and--fluttery.
How--she--did--change. [_Silence; then as if struck by a happy thought
and relieved to get back to every day things._] Tell you what, Mrs.
Peters, why don't you take the quilt in with you? It might take up her
mind.

MRS. PETERS. Why, I think that's a real nice idea, Mrs. Hale. There
couldn't possibly be any objection to it, could there? Now, just what
would I take? I wonder if her patches are in here--and her things.

    [_They look in the sewing basket._]

MRS. HALE. Here's some red. I expect this has got sewing things in it.
[_Brings out a fancy box._] What a pretty box. Looks like something
somebody would give you. Maybe her scissors are in here. [_Opens box.
Suddenly puts her hand to her nose._] Why--[_Mrs. Peters bends nearer,
then turns her face away._] There's something wrapped up in this piece
of silk.

MRS. PETERS. Why, this isn't her scissors.

MRS. HALE [_lifting the silk_]. Oh, Mrs. Peters--it's--

    [_Mrs. Peters bends closer._]

MRS. PETERS. It's the bird.

MRS. HALE [_jumping up_]. But, Mrs. Peters--look at it. Its neck! Look
at its neck! It's all--other side _to_.

MRS. PETERS. Somebody--wrung--its neck.

    [_Their eyes met. A look of growing comprehension of horror. Steps
    are heard outside. Mrs. Hale slips box under quilt pieces, and
    sinks into her chair. Enter Sheriff and County Attorney. Mrs.
    Peters rises._]

COUNTY ATTORNEY [_as one turning from serious things to little
pleasantries_]. Well, ladies, have you decided whether she was going to
quilt it or knot it?

MRS. PETERS. We think she was going to--knot it.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Well, that's interesting, I'm sure. [_Seeing the
bird-cage._] Has the bird flown?

MRS. HALE [_putting more quilt pieces over the box_]. We think the--cat
got it.

COUNTY ATTORNEY [_preoccupied_]. Is there a cat?

    [_Mrs. Hale glances in a quick covert way at Mrs. Peters._]

MRS. PETERS. Well, not now. They're superstitious, you know. They leave.

COUNTY ATTORNEY [_to Sheriff Peters, continuing an interrupted
conversation_]. No sign at all of any one having come from the outside.
Their own rope. Now let's go up again and go over it piece by piece.
[_They start upstairs._] It would have to have been some one who knew
just the----

    [_Mrs. Peters sits down. The two women sit there not looking at
    one another, but as if peering into something and at the same time
    holding back. When they talk now it is in the manner of feeling
    their way over strange ground, as if afraid of what they are
    saying, but as if they can not help saying it._]

MRS. HALE. She liked the bird. She was going to bury it in that pretty
box.

MRS. PETERS [_in a whisper_]. When I was a girl--my kitten--there was a
boy took a hatchet, and before my eyes--and before I could get
there----[_Covers her face an instant._] If they hadn't held me back I
would have--[_Catches herself, looks upstairs where steps are heard,
falters weakly_]--hurt him.

MRS. HALE [_with a slow look around her_]. I wonder how it would seem
never to have had any children around. [_Pause._] No, Wright wouldn't
like the bird--a thing that sang. She used to sing. He killed that, too.

MRS. PETERS [_moving uneasily_]. We don't know who killed the bird.

MRS. HALE. I knew John Wright.

MRS. PETERS. It was an awful thing was done in this house that night,
Mrs. Hale. Killing a man while he slept, slipping a rope around his neck
that choked the life out of him.

MRS. HALE. His neck. Choked the life out of him.

    [_Her hand goes out and rests on the bird-cage._]

MRS. PETERS [_with rising voice_]. We don't know who killed him. We
don't _know_.

MRS. HALE [_her own feeling not interrupted_]. If there'd been years and
years of nothing, then a bird to sing to you, it would be awful--still,
after the bird was still.

MRS. PETERS [_something within her speaking_]. I know what stillness is.
When we homesteaded in Dakota, and my first baby died--after he was two
years old, and me with no other then----

MRS. HALE [_moving_]. How soon do you suppose they'll be through,
looking for the evidence?

MRS. PETERS. I know what stillness is. [_Pulling herself back._] The law
has got to punish crime, Mrs. Hale.

MRS. HALE [_not as if answering that_]. I wish you'd seen Minnie Foster
when she wore a white dress with blue ribbons and stood up there in the
choir and sang. [_A look around the room._] Oh, I _wish_ I'd come over
here once in a while? That was a crime! That was a crime! Who's going to
punish that?

MRS. PETERS [_looking upstairs_]. We mustn't--take on.

MRS. HALE. I might have known she needed help! I know how things can
be--for women. I tell you, it's queer, Mrs. Peters. We live close
together and we live far apart. We all go through the same things--it's
all just a different kind of the same thing. [_Brushes her eyes,
noticing the bottle of fruit, reaches out for it._] If I was you I
wouldn't tell her her fruit was gone. Tell her it _ain't_. Tell her it's
all right. Take this in to prove it to her. She--she may never know
whether it was broke or not.

MRS. PETERS [_takes the bottle, looks about for something to wrap it in;
takes petticoat from the clothes brought from the other room, very
nervously begins winding this around the bottle. In a false voice_]. My,
it's a good thing the men couldn't hear us. Wouldn't they just laugh!
Getting all stirred up over a little thing like a--dead canary. As if
that could have anything to do with--with--wouldn't they _laugh_!

    [_The men are heard coming down stairs._]

MRS. HALE [_under her breath_]. Maybe they would--maybe they wouldn't.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. No, Peters, it's all perfectly clear except a reason
for doing it. But you know juries when it comes to women. If there was
some definite thing. Something to show--something to make a story
about--a thing that would connect up with this strange way of doing it.

    [_The women's eyes meet for an instant. Enter Hale from outer
    door._]

HALE. Well, I've got the team around. Pretty cold out there.

COUNTY ATTORNEY. I'm going to stay here a while by myself. [_To the
Sheriff._] You can send Frank out for me, can't you? I want to go over
everything. I'm not satisfied that we can't do better.

SHERIFF. Do you want to see what Mrs. Peters is going to take in?

    [_The Lawyer goes to the table, picks up the apron, laughs._]

COUNTY ATTORNEY. Oh, I guess they're not very dangerous things the
ladies have picked out. [_Moves a few things about, disturbing the quilt
pieces which cover the box. Steps back._] No, Mrs. Peters doesn't need
supervising. For that matter, a sheriff's wife is married to the law.
Ever think of it that way, Mrs. Peters?

MRS. PETERS. Not--just that way.

SHERIFF [_chuckling_]. Married to the law. [_Moves toward the other
room._] I just want you to come in here a minute, George. We ought to
take a look at these windows.

COUNTY ATTORNEY [_scoffingly_]. Oh, windows!

SHERIFF. We'll be right out, Mr. Hale.

    [_Hale goes outside. The Sheriff follows the County Attorney into
    the other room. Then Mrs. Hale rises, hands tight together,
    looking intensely at Mrs. Peters, whose eyes make a slow turn,
    finally meeting Mrs. Hale's. A moment Mrs. Hale holds her, then
    her own eyes point the way to where the box is concealed. Suddenly
    Mrs. Peters throws back quilt pieces and tries to put the box in
    the bag she is wearing. It is too big. She opens box, starts to
    take bird out, cannot touch it, goes to pieces, stands there
    helpless. Sound of a knob turning in the other room. Mrs. Hale
    snatches the box and puts it in the pocket of her big coat. Enter
    County Attorney and Sheriff._

COUNTY ATTORNEY [_facetiously_]. Well, Henry, at least we found out that
she was not going to quilt it. She was going to--what is it you call it,
ladies?

MRS. HALE [_her hand against her pocket_]. We call it--knot it, Mr.
Henderson.


  [_Curtain._]




THE POT BOILER

  A SATIRE

  BY ALICE GERSTENBERG


  Copyright, 1916, by Alice Gerstenberg.
  All rights reserved.


  THE POT BOILER was first produced by the Players' Workshop, Chicago,
  Ill., on the night of November 20th, 1916, with the following cast:

    THOMAS PINIKLES SUD [_the playwright_]   _William Ziegler Nourse_.
    WOULDBY [_the novice_]                   _Morton Howard, Jr_.
    MR. IVORY [_the financier_]              _Henry Ryan_.
    MR. RULER [_the hero_]                   _Donovan Yeuell_.
    MISS IVORY [_the heroine_]               _Caroline Kohl_.
    MR. INKWELL [_the villain_]              _H. C. Swartz_.
    MRS. PENCIL [_the woman_]                _Anna Buxton_.


  THE POT BOILER is published for the first time. The editors are
  indebted to Miss Gerstenberg for permission to include it in this
  volume. The professional and amateur stage rights on this play are
  strictly reserved by the author. Applications from amateurs to
  produce the play should be addressed to Norman Lee Swartout,
  24 Blackburn Road, Summit, N. J. Professionals should address
  Miss Alice Gerstenberg, 539 Deming Place, Chicago, Ill.



THE POT BOILER

A SATIRE BY ALICE GERSTENBERG


    [SCENE: _A stage only half set for a morning rehearsal and dimly
    lighted. Sud, a successful playwright, enters in a hurry carrying
    a leather bag of manuscripts._]


STAGE HAND. Good morning, Mr. Sud.

SUD. Good morning, Gus. Just set two doors; that'll be all I'll need
this morning. We're rehearsing for lines. [_Steps down stage and calls
front._] Joe, I'm expecting a young man, it's all right, let him in.

WOULDBY [_from auditorium back_]. I'm here now, Mr. Sud.

SUD. Come up, Mr. Wouldby. Some more border lights, please.

WOULDBY. It's very good of you to let me in.

SUD. I was fond of your father. I am glad to see his son.

WOULDBY. I have written a play, too.

SUD. Too bad, too bad, you make the price of paper go up.

WOULDBY. It must be wonderful to be the master playwright of our day.
Everybody knows Mr. Thomas Pinikles Sud.

SUD [_setting stage_]. Yes, it is a privilege to be a friend of mine!

WOULDBY [_pursuing Sud_]. Will you read my manuscript, sir?

SUD. Never roll a manuscript. I see very well you don't even know the
first principles.

WOULDBY. How can I learn the first principles? No one will tell me.

SUD. Wait, I will do a great thing for you, let you stay and see a dress
rehearsal of my latest play, "The Pot Boiler." In it I have used all
dramatic principles.

WOULDBY. What are they?

SUD. Well, for instance, this pencil is the woman in the case.

WOULDBY. Pencil!

SUD. This inkwell is the villain, although that's really too dark for
him. Deep-eyed villains are out of fashion.

WOULDBY. Inkwell!

SUD. The heroine is Miss Ivory paper cutter.

WOULDBY. Ivory!

SUD. Mr. Ruler is the hero.

WOULDBY. Ruler!

    [_Other characters enter from stage door._]

SUD. I haven't finished writing it, but we're going through it this
morning as far as I have written, then I shall see how to go on. Here
are the players now. Line up, please, and let me see your costumes. [_He
studies them._] Now to work--[_Rubbing his hands._] to work--clear the
stage!

    [_Mrs. Pencil and Ruler go out left; Mr. and Miss Ivory and
    Inkwell go out right and close the door._]

SUD. Mr. Wouldby, if you sit down here with me, we'll be out of the way.
[_Sud and Wouldby sit on two stools way down right._] You must imagine
that this room is the library in Mr. Ivory's house. [_Sud claps his
hands and calls._] Ready.

    [_There is a pause, then the door up left opens and Mrs. Pencil
    comes in; her pantomime is as Sud explains it to Wouldby._]

SUD [_in stage whisper to Wouldby_]. The adventuress--she comes in--she
has been cut--she is worried--that nervous twitching of lips and
narrowing of eyes are always full of suspense--she takes off her gloves,
her hat--that's good business. A door opens--she starts--by starting she
shows you she is guilty of something--

MISS IVORY [_without hat or gloves enters from right_]. Oh, there you
are, Mrs. Pencil.

MRS. PENCIL. Yes, I'm back.

MISS IVORY. I thought I should have to drink my tea without you.

    [_They sit down to tea--Miss Ivory back of table center. Mrs.
    Pencil left of table._]

SUD [_in stage whisper to Wouldby_]. That tells the audience what time
of the day it is; besides, drinking afternoon tea shows Miss Ivory is in
society.

MRS. PENCIL. Isn't your father going to join us?

SUD [_aside_]. That's merely to show the girl has a father.

MISS IVORY. No, he is talking business with Mr. Inkwell.

MRS. PENCIL [_starting_]. Inkwell!

MISS IVORY. Yes, do you know him?

MRS. PENCIL [_evasively_]. I? Oh--no.

MISS IVORY. You've heard of him?

MRS. PENCIL. Yes--of course----

SUD [_aside_]. Do you catch it? Do you see how her nervousness and her
few words at once suggest that there is a link between Mrs. Pencil and
Inkwell? That's where I show my technique.

WOULDBY [_scratching his head_]. Technique! How can I learn it?

SUD. It is the secret that every playwright locks in his breast. Keep
the young ones out! _Mum_ is the word!

MISS IVORY. I am so sorry father has all this trouble with the
brick-layers. They shouldn't have gone on a strike--just now--when you
are visiting us.

SUD [_to Wouldby_]. That tells that Mrs. Pencil is a guest in Miss
Ivory's house.

MISS IVORY. When you were here last year my mother----

SUD [_aside_]. The girl hesitates--they both look sorrowful; we had to
cut down the cast, so I killed off her mother.

MRS. PENCIL [_sadly, with foreign accent_]. Ah, my dear--we were such
close friends--since my arrival in this country----

SUD [_aside_]. You see, I had to make her a foreigner. A villainess
always talks with a foreign accent.

MRS. PENCIL. I haven't had much time to read particulars about the
strike. Does your father still refuse to arbitrate?

MISS IVORY [_haughtily_]. What right have brick-layers to make rules for
my father? He would show his weakness if he gave in--I have faith that
what he does is right.

SUD [_to Wouldby_]. The innocent heroine, so cool and pure and white.

    [_The right door opens and Inkwell enters--he starts as he sees
    Mrs. Pencil; there is a straight look of recognition between them
    which Miss Ivory does not see._]

SUD [_aside_]. That's a dramatic scene. Doesn't it thrill your spine?

MISS IVORY. Mrs. Pencil, may I introduce Mr. Inkwell--[_Inkwell and Mrs.
Pencil bow slightly._] Will you have a dish of tea?

SUD. Cup, cup of tea.

MISS IVORY. Dish; _dish_ of tea, or I quit. [_Pause._] Which is it?

SUD. Oh, very well, dish if you like.

    [_Sud's manner indicates he gives in simply to let the rehearsal
    progress, but that he will settle with Miss Ivory later._]

MISS IVORY. Please tell me that you have ordered the strikers to come to
father's terms?

MR. INKWELL [_at right of table_]. He is looking through his safe for
more papers so he asked me to wait in here.

SUD. That's an explanation why he came in.

MISS IVORY [_offering cup_]. How many lumps?

SUD [_aside_]. That question of the number of lumps is very important;
it gives a natural air to the scene.

MISS IVORY. I am going to the dining-room to get some arrack for your
tea.

MR. INKWELL [_nervously_]. Oh, please don't trouble----

MISS IVORY. No trouble at all.

    [_Exit right._]

SUD. When you want to get a character out, you've got to get 'em out.

MR. INKWELL [_at right of table, to Mrs. Pencil_]. You here!

MRS. PENCIL [_at left of table_]. Sch! I had to come! I couldn't live
without you any longer----

INKWELL. But in this house?

MRS. PENCIL. I was her mother's friend.

INKWELL. You are indiscreet----

MRS. PENCIL. I was desperate for you! You kept putting me off--when I
read about this strike I had to come.

SUD. Mrs. Pencil is the dreadful woman! A play can't exist without
her----

WOULDBY. You mean she was his----

SUD [_seriously_]. Oh, yes--the more fuss we make about her the better.

MRS. PENCIL. Oh! Clem! You aren't glad to see me! Oh! that I have lived
for this!!!

    [_She tears around the stage waving her hands in grief--making
    faces of agony. Sud rises in astonishment and follows her left._]

SUD [_shrieks in anger_]. Idiot! Can't you talk! Do you think I write
lines to be cut? How dare you cut my lines!!!

MRS. PENCIL. I've done just what it says. [_She takes her part from
table, reads from it and shows it to him._] "Mrs. Pencil shows extreme
despair and passionately----"

SUD. That's not the play! That's the moving picture version!!! Come
here.

    [_He fumbles with his papers. Takes blue pencil to her part,
    changes his mind and uses red pencil--and puts them back of
    different ears._]

WOULDBY. Oh! Have you the same play ready for the movies?

SUD. I write in columns--alongside of each other. Dramatic version,
moving picture, novelization--for magazines--newspapers and books.

WOULDBY. All _at once_!

SUD. Yes!

WOULDBY. What are all the pins for?

SUD. When I cut out a line one place--I keep it until I find a place
somewhere else to patch it in.

    [_Hands new lines to Mrs. Pencil, who is back of table center._]

WOULDBY. A great playwright has to be economical with his great ideas!

SUD. Yes, if he wants a yacht.

MRS. PENCIL [_studying her book_]. Now I see, now I see--Mr. Sud. Shall
I go on?

SUD. Yes, go on!

    [_Sud comes down right to Wouldby._]

MRS. PENCIL. Oh! Clem--I was so frightened when I heard about the
strikers. Even if you are their leader now, they might turn and murder
you.

    [_Mrs. Pencil and Inkwell play center, front of table._]

INKWELL. Nonsense, I control the strikers, they come to me for orders.
I'll stop this strike as soon as old Ivory gives me my price.

MRS. PENCIL. What do the brick-layers want?

INKWELL. They want shorter hours, more pay, better light--better air----

    [_Inkwell stops and looks at Sud._]

SUD. Go on--go on--don't glare at me!

INKWELL. Pardon me, Mr. Sud--but you have me say the brick-layers want
better air. It doesn't sound right. You see brick-layers work out of
doors and the air there is--I beg your pardon--it's in no way of
criticism, sir----

SUD. Come here. [_He cuts the line, using wrong colored pencil first._]
Leave out "light and air." That's a confusion from bad typing in the
serial version. Go on, Mr. Inkwell.

INKWELL [_sits right of table and Mrs. Pencil left_]. See here, Kate,
you keep out of this business--I'm not going to be spied on by any
woman.

MRS. PENCIL [_in whisper_]. Who is spying on you?

INKWELL [_in whisper_]. You!!

MRS. PENCIL. I?

SUD [_smacks his lips_]. Now we are coming to a big scene! There is
nothing so effective as the repetition of the same words brought up to a
climax. Begin again, Mrs. Pencil. "Who is spying on you?"

MRS. PENCIL. Who is spying on you?

INKWELL. You!

MRS. PENCIL. I?

INKWELL. You!

MRS. PENCIL. I?

INKWELL. You!

MRS. PENCIL. I?

SUD [_tearing his hair--going to them_]. Parrots! Nothing but parrots!
Increase the stress--build up the scene--build--build!

INKWELL. How can we build when you don't give us any lines?

SUD. What do you call yourselves actors for if you can't supply acting
when the playwright uses dashes!--This is the biggest scene in the play.
[_Crosses to lower left._] The very fact that I don't give you a lot of
literary lines puts me in the class of the most forceful dramatists of
the day! My plays are not wishy-washy lines! They are full of
action--red-blood--of flesh and blood! Now you do _your_ part--bing-bang
stuff!--shake them in their chairs out there--make shivers run up their
spines! Make 'em _feel_ you! Compel their applause! Now go to _it!_ Go
to it!!!

    [_Sud sets the tempo, repeating their words._]

INKWELL. You!

MRS. PENCIL. I?

INKWELL. You!

MRS. PENCIL. I?

SUD [_shouts_]. Get it over! Get it over!

INKWELL. You!

MRS. PENCIL. I?

SUD [_shouts_]. Get it over! Mr. Wouldby, is it getting over?

WOULDBY [_looks at footlights_]. I don't see anything get over.

SUD. He doesn't see it! You hear? He doesn't see it! Begin again! And
please, please, please--get it over--over!!

    [_He motions violently with his arms during following scene as if
    to help them raise the vitality of the scene. Sud sets tempo
    again._]

MRS. PENCIL. Who is spying on you?

INKWELL. You!

MRS. PENCIL. I?

INKWELL. You!!

MRS. PENCIL. I??

INKWELL. You!!!

MRS. PENCIL. I???

INKWELL. You!!!!!

MRS. PENCIL. I??????

INKWELL [_fiercely_]. You!!!!!!!

MRS. PENCIL. I???????

INKWELL. What do you call it then, coming here after me like this?

MRS. PENCIL. What do you mean--like this?

SUD [_shrieks--beside himself_]. Like what?

MRS. PENCIL. Like this?

SUD. Accent it--stress it--increase it! Like _what_?

MRS. PENCIL. Like this!

SUD. Like what?

MRS. PENCIL. Like this!

SUD [_rushes around circuit of stage and ends near Wouldby_]. The best
scene in the play--ruined--ruined! I'm noted for my strong, laconic
scenes and you make me suffer like this. Perfectly hopeless--I say
increase--you decrease; nothing but animal sounds! Nothing but a
machine! Oh! What's the use! Go on, go on--now you see, Mr. Wouldby, how
actors can make plays fail--

MRS. PENCIL. If you'd write us a decent play once we might--

SUD. No back-talk, madam! I haven't engaged you yet. If you can't play
it any better, I'll let you out! Show us what you can do with the rest
of the scene! By Heaven--if you can't pound his chest right the box
office will lose money on you!

WOULDBY [_his eyes popping_]. Oh! Must she pound him?

SUD. Seeing a woman pounding a man's chest and hearing her scream is
worth two dollars to anybody. Go on, Mrs. Pencil.

MRS. PENCIL. You are keeping something from me? You have deceived me!
You dog! Tell me! Tell me! Who is she? Where is she? You are keeping
something from me!

    [_She pounds Inkwell in a rage._]

WOULDBY [_in innocent wonderment_]. Is she trying to yank it out of his
chest?

SUD. Pound! Pound! Get it over! [_Sud rushes back between Mrs. Pencil
and Inkwell, pushes her down left, drags Inkwell to center, grasps his
coat lapel, shakes him violently and shouts her lines: "You are keeping
something from me." and pushes Inkwell to right. Sud turns quickly to
left and shows her his manuscript._] I wrote "applause" here. You've got
to get applause here--so pound!

INKWELL. Would you mind skipping the scene to-day? I'll wear a foot-ball
suit to-morrow.

SUD [_in scorn_]. Just like an actor to have a personal prejudice
against a part.

INKWELL. I'm not "suited" to it yet--but with the proper costume--

SUD [_in scorn_]. You must not rely on costume! Think of your art!

WOULDBY. But why must she pound him so hard?

SUD [_down left_]. Because he is the villain and the audience likes to
see him get it.

MRS. PENCIL [_at right and Inkwell to her left_]. Who is she? You are
keeping something from me!

WOULDBY. What has he done to make him the villain?

SUD. I didn't want an explanation here, so I had to interrupt
them--sch--here comes Miss Ivory.

    [_Miss Ivory enters._]

SUD. Such interruptions reek with dramatic intensity.

MISS IVORY. Here is the arrack for you, Mr. Inkwell--

INKWELL [_accepting it_]. Thank you.

MRS. PENCIL [_nervously_]. I think I'll take my hat to my room--

    [_Inkwell gives her her hat. She goes out._]

SUD [_aside_]. Not a bad excuse, the hat! Eh? I had to get her out.

WOULDBY. Very natural--yes--indeed--

MISS IVORY [_seated at right of table. Inkwell stands back of
table--center_]. Well, Mr. Inkwell, I hope we may yet succeed in
claiming you as a friend--instead of coddling you as an enemy.

INKWELL. If you treat all your enemies so well--what must you do for
your friends?

MISS IVORY. We abuse those we love.

SUD [_nudging Wouldby--aside_]. Quite epigrammatic, eh?

INKWELL. Even abuse at such fair hands could only please.

SUD [_aside_]. Did you catch the subtlety of that line?

MISS IVORY [_nervously_]. Wi--wi--will you have some more tea?

INKWELL [_coming left of table--to be opposite her--catching her hand._]
I don't want tea--I want you! I love you!

SUD. Wait a moment! That's too abrupt! I've some more lines here
somewhere. [_Looks through slips pinned in manuscript._] I cut some out
of the beginning of the act. When the first curtain went up and the maid
was discovered dusting the room I had the Irish butler make love to her.
[_To Wouldby._] [_Handing Inkwell a paragraph._] There, Inkwell, are the
love lines I was looking for. Proceed, please.

MISS IVORY. Shall I go back?

INKWELL. To tea.

MISS IVORY. Wi--will--will you have some m--more--t--tea?

INKWELL [_catching her hand and bringing her forward, he gives speech
with Irish accent_]. I don't want tea--I want you! I love you! Oh! My
darlint, it is a terrible sensation I'ave for you, I'ave--'and me your
little 'and in moine, for the loikes of you I never--[_As all look dazed
and Inkwell has trouble twisting his tongue._] I beg pardon, Mr. Sud,
but this is a butler making love--I am playing the part of a gentleman--

SUD [_has dropped from his stool and retired in tears and rage up
right_]. Haven't you any brains of your own? If a musician can transpose
music by sight, can't you do the same to dialogue?

INKWELL. But a gentleman doesn't make love like a--

SUD [_goes up stage again--ends at his stool by Wouldby_]. He means the
same--now go on--I can't stand these arguments. They will give me
apoplexy!

MISS IVORY. Oh! Come on, Robert, say anything.

    [_They sit at table again._]

INKWELL. Ahem!

MISS IVORY. Wi--wi--will you have some more t--tea?

INKWELL. I don't want tea! I want you! I love you! Oh! My darling--it is
a wonderful feeling--this one--that--which I have for you--indeed--that
one which I have for you--put your hand in mine--for a woman like you
never before fr--fr--never before have I seen a woman such as you--

    [_Again he has brought Miss Ivory down center._]

SUD. My stars! Leave out the h's. That--which--such!--Get it clear for
to-morrow's rehearsal.

INKWELL [_puts paragraph in his pocket--hesitatingly, doubtfully,
sarcastically_]. I ought to have my name on the program as co-author.

    [_Exit left._]

SUD [_jumps forward_]. You ought to have it cut out of the program when
you forget to act! [_Raps on floor and cries out._] Mr. Ruler--Mr.
Ruler--Pay some attention to your cues, please!--

    [_Sud goes off stage center over bridge into pit._]

RULER [_pokes head in from left_]. Beg pardon, sir--I didn't hear my
cue!

SUD [_at right of center_]. It's your business to listen for it.

RULER. But they didn't give me the cue!

SUD. Well, what is your cue?

RULER [_not seen_]. What is it?

SUD. I asked you what your cue was?

RULER [_appears_]. What is it?

SUD. Is your hearing perfectly clear?

RULER. Perfectly.

SUD. Then will you kindly tell me what your cue is?

RULER. What is it?

SUD. I shall go mad! I'm dealing with lunatics! Lunatics--Once again I
ask you, Mr. Ruler--if you can _hear_--[_Yells._] Kindly read from your
book and tell me what your cue is--

RULER [_yells furiously and is now down stage_]. I've been trying to
tell you my cue is "WHAT IS IT!"

    [_During this scene all the other players come in to see the fight
    and grin._]

SUD [_wipes perspiration from brow_]. Heart disease! Heart disease--I
shall die of it! That line was cut long ago!!! [_Sud walks back and
forth across the pit._] The trouble with you actors is you can't forget.
Oh! If you could only forget!

WOULDBY [_meekly_]. I always thought actors had to remember.

SUD. Any fool can remember--

RULER. See here, Mr. Sud--I don't take abuse! In fact, it's my first
experience taking it from authors. In all the other companies I've been
in the manager kept the playwright out. He wouldn't have him meddling
about!

    [_Sud stops short during this speech--turns--straightens up--buttons
    coat--adjusts tie--faces Ruler._]

SUD. Mr. Ruler, I am backing the show. I haven't engaged you because you
can act, but because you were born good-looking, which is scarcely a
compliment to your own efforts. [_Other players retire now laughing at
Ruler._] If you please we will proceed. I'll find a line here somewhere
in my treasure note books.

    [_He goes upstairs and stands near border lights aside to hunt
    through many books he has in his pockets. Ruler sits left of table
    to rest and smoke. Mr. Ivory and Mrs. Pencil play cards out of
    character up stage._]

MISS IVORY [_talks out of character and gets light from Ruler for her
cigarette_]. Did you see the advance notices in the paper this morning,
Jack--saying the Pot-Boiler is sold out three weeks in advance?

RULER. Bill told me there's a steady line outside of the box office.

MISS IVORY. I have visions of rehearsing all night outside the night
before the opening.

RULER. I'm used to doing that, my dear. What gets me is the story of the
plot the Sunday edition printed. How can the newspaper know the plot
before the playwright does?

MISS IVORY. Doesn't Mr. Sud know his own plot?

RULER. Why! No, my part's not written after the second act.

MISS IVORY. My part isn't either, but it doesn't worry me. These
authors--[_She points to her forehead._] I don't memorize until dress
rehearsal night. What's the _use_. _They don't know themselves_ by that
time what lines they told you to keep in or put in or take out. The next
morning the critics re-write it _anyway_ for the manager--_I_ don't
begin to memorize really--until we're settled for a _run_.

RULER [_worried_]. You'll throw me all out if you give wrong cues--

MISS IVORY [_rises and strolls about_]. Oh! When I can't use my tongue,
I let my eyes talk. The public doesn't know the difference. _I_ don't
have to act, just be myself. They engage _me_ for my _eyes_.

SUD. Ah! Here's a precious line [_Goes up to Ruler._], take it down, Mr.
Ruler. "I was in the neighborhood looking for some real estate." [_All
the players suppress a laugh._] Now, Mr. Ruler, you enter in time--[_Sud
goes down the stairs again._] You enter in time to interrupt Mr.
Inkwell's declaration of love to Miss Ivory. They spring apart--spring!
Mr. Inkwell! [_Inkwell springs._] No, the house is not on fire!--I
didn't say jump.

INKWELL. Spring is the same as jump!

    [_Ruler enters from left. Inkwell goes right, Miss Ivory comes
    center._]

SUD. There is no time to discuss synonyms. Go on, Miss Ivory.

MISS IVORY. Oh! Jack--hello!--where'd _you_ come from?

RULER. I was in the neighborhood looking at some real estate--Hello,
Inkwell--how's the strike?

    [_Miss Ivory and Ruler cross to give Ruler the center._]

INKWELL. If you could persuade Mr. Ivory to--

RULER. No--Inkwell--I'm not converted to your view! I have my own
theories!

SUD [_at left speaks across in delight to Wouldby_]. Now we are coming
to the kernel of the play's success. The new viewpoint--Use all the
stock character and situations you want, but add a new twist.

WOULDBY. What does Ruler think?

SUD. Listen.

RULER. I believe sternly in justice--righteous expiation of sin--only in
that way can we progress to higher things.

SUD. Forms, not things.

RULER. Beg pardon, forms--the position I hold to-day is the result of my
desires in my previous life--when the trumpet calls me into the
next--there I shall reap the harvest of what I have sown here. Why
should we help the brick-layers?

    [_Miss Ivory interrupts, "Mr. Sud."_]

SUD [_waves her silent_]. Sch!

RULER. If they chose in their past life to be born brick-layers here,
have we the right--

    [_Miss Ivory interrupts several times. Miss Ivory is on stage
    left._]

SUD. Sch!!

RULER. I ask you--have we the right to tear down the building they
designed when they were here before? Have we the right to say to them
how they shall lay the bricks in the foundation for their next life?
Have we the right--

MISS IVORY. Mr. Sudd!!!

SUD [_at last in desperation_]. Well, what is it, Miss Ivory?

MISS IVORY. Excuse me, Mr. Sud--but all this time--while Ruler is
talking--I don't know what to do with my _hands_! Couldn't you _cut_ his
lines?

RULER. I protest! Mr. Sud, I would resent having a part shortened on me
because the leading lady doesn't know what to do with her hands. I
really think in this speech of mine you have shown your talent. To cut
one word of it would do you a great injustice!

SUD [_smiles at Ruler_]. Thank you! Quite so! Quite so! Miss Ivory,
during this scene you might be--you might be--be--fanning yourself--to
keep yourself the heroine, cool and white.

WOULDBY. How well you understand human nature. The play is really more
important than the players--isn't it?

SUD [_aside. Goes back on stage and sits next to Wouldby_]. Of course,
but actors are so superbly conceited.

WOULDBY. I know--poor things!

SUD. Mr. Ivory's entrance.

WOULDBY. The girl's father?

IVORY [_enters_]. I could not find the papers in the safe, Inkwell.
Ah--how-do-you-do, Jack.

             POSITIONS

    _Inkwell_          _Miss Ivory_
  _Mr. Ivory_               _Ruler_

    [_Ivory has crossed to Ruler and is between Miss Ivory and Ruler._]

RULER. Good morning, Mr. Ivory.

IVORY. Daughter, dear--do you know anything about the papers in the
safe?

SUD. Keep up the suspense--Inkwell.

INKWELL. I have no lines here.

SUD. A villain should sustain the suggestion of villainy whether he has
lines or not. Look uneasy--tremble--

    [_Inkwell looks uneasy and trembles._]

IVORY. But if I see him tremble, Mr. Sud, wouldn't I ask him if he had a
chill?

SUD. It's not your business to be looking his way just then. Again,
Inkwell.

    [_Inkwell trembles, etc._]

SUD [_yells to Ivory_]. Don't catch his eye!

IVORY [_to Inkwell_]. Will you tremble again please?

    [_Inkwell does so patiently._]

SUD. Count five for the tremble. Again please, "Daughter dear, do you
know anything about the papers in the safe?"

IVORY. Daughter, dear, do you know anything about the papers in the
safe?

SUD [_excitedly_]. Everybody look away. Tremble, Inkwell--Now, Inkwell,
count five--now look at Inkwell--Again, please.

IVORY. Daughter, dear, do you know anything about the papers in the
safe?

SUD [_claps his hands_]. One--two--three--four--five--

IVORY. Those valuable papers!

SUD. That's it, go ahead!

MISS IVORY. I don't even know the combination, father. Could they have
been stolen?

WOULDBY. Did Inkwell really take them?

SUD. He's the villain, isn't he? I couldn't let the hero do it.

IVORY. What shall I do? Where shall I look? Where, oh where?

    [_Ivory goes up stage back of Miss Ivory to table and knocks off a
    revolver._]

MISS IVORY. Oh! Revolvers!

RULER. Let me, sir. [_Picks them up._]

MISS IVORY [_in terror_]. Where did they come from?

WOULDBY [_hands to ears_]. Are they going to use them?

SUD. Of course. I had to show the audience the revolvers are there, so
Ivory had to knock them down.

IVORY [_is up stage. Places one revolver on table_]. I have to have
these near by when a strike is on, one never knows what to expect.

RULER [_places other revolver on table_]. Even I have one in my pocket.

INKWELL [_slaps his side pocket_]. And I in mine--

MISS IVORY. Oh! dear, how dreadful! Suppose one of them should go off!
Oh! Do be careful!

INKWELL [_insinuatingly_]. Have you changed your mind, Mr. Ivory? Have
you decided to accept my proposition?

MISS IVORY. What is your proposition, Mr. Inkwell?

INKWELL [_goes left to Ruler_]. I believe your father wishes to discuss
it with you. Mr. Ruler, will you have a smoke with me in the orangerie?

SUD [_corrects him with great disgust_]. Orangerie!!!

    [_Inkwell and Ruler exeunt right._]

MISS IVORY [_crosses right--anxiously_]. What does he want to know--

IVORY [_almost breaking down. Sinks into chair left of table_]. Oh! My
daughter--how can I tell you--how can I--I am ruined--ruined!

    [_Sud rises, and beats time in rhythm like a conductor to their
    "Ohs."_]

MISS IVORY [_a little up and left of table_]. _You_--_ruined_--_Oh!_--

IVORY. Oh!

MISS IVORY. Oh!

SUD [_turning to Wouldby and whispering audibly_]. When you are hard up
for conversation use Oh's--

    [_Sits quickly._]

IVORY. We have lived beyond our means--Oh!--my child--I have only
brought you misery--

MISS IVORY [_goes to father, stands back of his chair and caresses
him_]. Poor father--don't take it that way--I _love_ you--we must live
differently--anything you say--

WOULDBY [_to Sud_]. How sweet and sacrificial!

SUD [_enthusiastically_]. Ah! She's pure Ivory--a chip off the old
block!

IVORY. That is not all. Inkwell represents the brick-layers; he will
continue the strike unless I can buy him off.

    [_Sud goes up right, to be behind them. Faces them. Follows every
    line in his manuscript._]

MISS IVORY. And you can't raise the money?

IVORY. He doesn't want money. He wants to marry you! He will stop at
nothing to get me into prison--any place to crush me--he has power. I
have cause to fear him.

    [_Ivory at right._]

MISS IVORY [_at left. In distress_]. Oh! Oh!--How terrible--how
terrible--what am I to say! Oh--father--and I can save you? And I
hesitate? Yes--yes--I will--father!

    [_Rushes to Ivory's arms._]

IVORY. Oh! My daughter! My child! My child!

MISS IVORY. Yes, father, I will, cost me what it may. I will.

    [_She reads last line flatly._]

SUD. Miss Ivory! Show some feeling! Think how you feel when you read
those lines!

MISS IVORY. I know how I feel [_impudently. Then with some feeling._]
Yes, father, I will. Cost me what it may, I will, Mr. Inkwell!

SUD. Abandonment, Miss Ivory--abandonment--

MISS IVORY [_nods intelligently_]. Mr. Inkwell! Mr. Ink--we--all--!

IVORY [_rushing after Miss Ivory_]. Wait--think--consider--

    [_Inkwell and Ruler enter right._]

INKWELL [_takes her hand_]. Ah, My dear!

IVORY [_with bowed head_]. Oh!

RULER [_in alarm, to Miss Ivory_]. My dear--what is it?

SUD. Now, there's your line of "what is it?" I tucked it in there.

MISS IVORY [_goes left to Mr. Ruler. Ivory is up center. Inkwell is
right_]. I can't keep my promise to you--Mr. Ruler--please don't ask for
an explanation.

RULER [_excited, rushing up to Mr. Ivory_]. What is it, Mr. Ivory?

IVORY [_in despair, taking Ruler's arm for support_]. Oh--I--am
broken-hearted--she is going to marry Inkwell!

RULER. No!--no!--not while I live!

IVORY. It must be! Come with me--I'll tell you--alone!

RULER. Not while I live!

SUD [_excitedly_]. Mr. Ruler! Mr. Ruler! You go out too easily! Wait! I
remember a precious line I cut out of one of my last year's plays. It is
perfectly fresh! No novelty worn off and incontestably original! "I am
coming back."

RULER [_deferentially Ruler writes the line_]. I am coming back--yes,
sir. I am coming back.

SUD. There is no, "yes, sir," in it.

RULER. No, sir.

SUD. Do you wish to retire for a few minutes and commit to memory?
[_Ruler repeats the line._] Now that we are reaching the climax I want
as few interruptions and references to the book as possible--

RULER. I think I have it. [_All resume former positions. Sud climbs on
his stool._] Cue please, Mr. Ivory.

IVORY [_drags Ruler across to go out right_]. Come with me--I'll tell
you!--alone!

RULER. Not while I live! I am coming back! I am coming back!!!--I am
coming back!

    [_Exeunt Ivory and Ruler right. Sud tiptoes up center to make sure
    Mrs. Pencil is ready for her cue._]

INKWELL [_to Miss Ivory_]. Now that they have left us alone--my
darling--let me tell you how I have waited for this moment--

MISS IVORY [_in despair and tears she tries to rush by to right, but he
catches her_]. No, let me pass--now, now. I have said yes, let it go at
that--I cannot talk now--not now--

    [_Exit right weeping._]

MRS. PENCIL [_in fury of jealousy opens door and enters in rage_].
Coward! Villain!--I have been listening behind that door--all your false
vows to me!

INKWELL [_he tries to choke her_]. Don't yell so!

MRS. PENCIL [_in ordinary tone_]. I will yell!

SUD [_delighted_]. Of course, she will! Shriek good, Mrs. Pencil.

MRS. PENCIL [_shrieks_]. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

INKWELL [_they struggle. Grabs Mrs. Pencil to put his hand over her
mouth_]. Stop--! Stop!

SUD. Tussle! Tussle! The audience loves it!

    [_They fight._]

WOULDBY. But what did Inkwell do?

SUD [_talks fast over shoulder to Wouldby like a man in a fast auto
talks to another passing_]. Can't you tell. Haven't decided yet!
Explanation in last act. No time now. Reaching climax of play. Keep it
up! Keep it up!

MRS. PENCIL [_yelling_]. Oh! The treachery--perjury--You are not fit to
live! I'll have my revenge--Revenge! Bing! Bang! [_She grabs revolver
from table and shoots Inkwell. He falls back and obligingly lies upon
the table._] I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

MISS IVORY [_having heard the shot and shrieks, runs in from the wing_].
Oh--who's hurt?

MRS. PENCIL [_turning and aiming revolver at Miss Ivory_]. Don't come
near him or I'll shoot you!

RULER [_enters from right_]. What's the matter?

MISS IVORY [_screams at Ruler_]. _Don't_ move or she'll shoot _you_.

RULER [_taking a revolver out of his pocket aims it at Mrs. Pencil_].
Harm her and I'll shoot _you_!

INKWELL [_who has come to in the meantime, manages to get his own
revolver out of his pocket, he half raises himself from his lying
position on the table and aims at Ruler, crying hoarsely_]. You thought
you could be my rival--the girl said she would be mine! If you shoot the
woman she'll kill the girl. I'm going to save the girl. Shoot and I'll
kill _YOU_!

MR. IVORY [_he enters from right and, hearing these desperate
words--takes revolver from his pocket and aims at Inkwell! Screams in
fear and rage_]. Stop! Save him or I'll shoot to kill! I'll shoot to
kill! I'll shoot to kill!

WOULDBY [_thrilled and excited, cries out_]. Who shoots?

SUD [_overcome with sudden realization, jumps up, grabs his forehead_].
My God! It's a deadlock!!! I don't know who shoots!

OTHERS. Oh! Shoot the _AUTHOR_!!


  [_Curtain._]




ENTER THE HERO

  A COMEDY

  BY THERESA HELBURN



  Copyright, 1916, by Theresa Helburn.
  Copyright, 1918, by Egmont Arens.

  All rights reserved.


  ENTER THE HERO was first produced in San Francisco by the St. Francis
  Little Theater Players, on January 16th, 1918, with the following
  cast:

    RUTH CAREY    _Ruth Hammond_.
    ANNE CAREY    _Helene Sullivan_.
    HAROLD LAWSON _Arthur Maitland_.
    MRS. CAREY    _Julia Deane_.


  Reprinted from No. 4, of the "Flying Stag Plays," published by Egmont
  Arens, by special permission of Miss Helburn. The professional and
  amateur stage rights on this play are strictly reserved by the author.
  Applications for permission to produce the play should be made to
  Egmont Arens, 17 West 8th St., New York.



ENTER THE HERO

A COMEDY BY THERESA HELBURN


    [_The scene presents an upstairs sitting room in a comfortable
    house in a small city. The wall on the spectator's left is broken
    by a fireplace, and beyond that a door leading into the hall. At
    the back of the stage is a deep bay window from which one may have
    a view up and down the street. A door in the right wall leads to
    Anne Carey's bedroom. The sitting room, being Anne's particular
    property, is femininely furnished in chintz. A table desk with
    several drawers occupies an important place in the room, which is
    conspicuously rich in flowers._

    _The curtain rises on an empty stage. Ruth Carey, a pretty girl of
    eighteen years, enters hurriedly, carrying a large box; she wears
    a hat and coat._]


RUTH. Oh, Anne, here's _another_ box of flowers! Anne, where are you?

VOICE FROM ANNE'S BEDROOM. In here. I thought you had gone out.

RUTH [_opening door left_]. I was just going when the expressman left
these--and I wanted to see them. [_Looking into the bedroom._] Oh, how
pretty your dress is. Turn round. Just adorable! May I open these?

THE VOICE. Yes, but hurry. It's late.

RUTH [_throwing her sister a kiss_]. You dear! It's almost like having a
fiancé of my own. Three boxes in two days! He's adorably extravagant.
Oh, Anne, exquisite white roses! Come, look!

    [_Anne Carey appears in the bedroom door. She is a girl of
    twenty-two. Her manner in this scene shows nervousness and
    suppressed excitement._]

ANNE. Yes, lovely. Get a bowl, Ruth. Quickly.

RUTH. I will. Here's a card. [_She hands Anne an envelope, goes to the
door, then stops._] What does he say, Anne? May I see?

    [_Anne, who has read the card quickly with a curious little smile,
    hands it back to her without turning._]

RUTH [_reading_]:

  "The red rose whispers of passion
  And the white rose breathes of love;
  Oh, the red rose is a falcon,
  And the white rose is a dove.

  "But I send you a cream-white rosebud
  With a flush on its petal tips,
  For the love that is purest and sweetest
  Has a kiss of desire on the lips.

Oh, how beautiful! Did he make that up, do you suppose? I didn't know he
was a real poet.

ANNE [_who has been pinning some of the roses on her dress_]. Any one in
love is a poet.

RUTH. It's perfectly beautiful! [_She takes a pencil and little notebook
out of her pocket._] May I copy it in my "Harold Notebook"?

ANNE. Your _what_?

RUTH. I call it my "Harold Notebook." I've put down bits of his letters
that you read me, the lovely bits that are too beautiful to forget. Do
you mind?

ANNE. You silly child!

RUTH. Here, you may see it.... That's from the second letter he wrote
you from Rio Janeiro. I just couldn't get over that letter. You know I
made you read it to me three times. It was so--so delicate. I remembered
this passage--see. "A young girl seems to me as exquisite and frail as a
flower, and I feel myself a vandal in desiring to pluck and possess one.
Yet, Anne, your face is always before me, and I know now what I was too
stupid to realize before, that it was you and you only, who made life
bearable for me last winter when I was a stranger and alone." Oh,
Anne--[_Sighing rapturously._] that's the sort of love letters I've
dreamed of getting. I don't suppose I ever shall.

ANNE. [_still looking over the notebook with her odd smile_]. Have you
shown this to any one?

RUTH. Only to Caroline--in confidence. [_Pauses to see how Anne will
take it._] But really, Anne, every one knows about Harold. You've told
Madge and Eleanor, and I'm sure they've told the others. They don't say
anything to us, but they do to Caroline and she tells me. [_Watching
Anne's face._] You're not angry, are you, Anne?

ANNE. Yes, rather. [_Then eagerly._] What do they say?

RUTH. Oh, all sorts of things. Some of them horrid, of course! You can't
blame them for being jealous. Here you are having just the sort of
experience that any one of them would give their eye teeth to have.
_I'd_ be jealous if you weren't my sister. As it is, I seem to get some
of the glory myself.

ANNE [_pleads, but disparaging_]. But every girl has this experience
sooner or later.

RUTH. Oh, not in this way. Everything that Harold does is beautiful,
ideal. Jane Fenwick showed me some of Bob's letters. They were so dull,
so prosaic! All about his salary and the corn crop. I was disgusted with
them. So was she, I think, when she saw Harold's letters.

ANNE. Oh, you showed them to Jane, too?

RUTH [_a bit frightened_]. No, really I didn't. Caroline did. I lent her
my notebook once overnight, and she gave Jane a peek--in the _strictest_
confidence. Jane really needed it. She was getting so cocky about Bob.
Girls are funny things, aren't they?

ANNE [_who has been keenly interested in all of Ruth's gossip_]. What do
you mean?

RUTH. It isn't so much the man, as the idea of a man--some one to dream
about, and to talk about. When I think of getting engaged--I suppose I
shall get engaged some day--I never think of being really, really kissed
by a man--

ANNE. What do you think of?

RUTH. I always think of telling Caroline about it, showing my ring to
her and to Madge. Oh, Madge is green with envy. I believe she thought
Harold sort of liked her. [_Anne turns away._] She was so excited when
she saw him in New York. She said she would have got off the bus and
chased him, but he went into a house.... Anne, why didn't you tell
us--me, at least--that Harold was back from South America, before we
heard it from Madge?

ANNE. Just because.... I wanted to avoid all this.... It was hard enough
to have him within a few hours' distance and know he could not get to
me. But it was easier when no one else knew. Don't you understand?

RUTH. Yes, dear, of course I do--but still--

ANNE [_impatiently_]. Now, Ruth, it's quarter past four. You promised--

RUTH. I'm going ... right straight off ... unless--Oh, Anne, mayn't I
stay and have just one peek. I won't let him see me, and then I'll run
straight away?

ANNE. Oh, for heaven's sake, don't be naughty and silly! Clear out now,
quickly, or--[_Changing her tone suddenly._] Ruth, dear, put yourself
in my place. Think how you would feel if you were going to see the man
you loved for the first time. That's what it really is. Think of it! Two
years ago when he went away we were just the merest friends--and now--

RUTH. And now you're engaged to be married! Oh, isn't it the most
romantic thing! Of course you want to be alone. Forgive me. Oh, Anne,
how excited you must be!

ANNE [_with rather histrionic intensity_]. No, I'm strangely calm. And
yet, Ruth, I'm afraid, terribly afraid.

RUTH. Why, what of?

ANNE [_acting_]. I don't know ... of everything ... of the unknown. All
this has been so wonderful, if anything should happen I don't think I
could bear it. I think I should die.

RUTH. Nonsense, dear, what can happen? You're just on edge. Well, I'll
be off. I'll join Mother at Aunt Nellie's. Give my love to Harold. You
know I've never called him anything but Mr. Lawson to his face. Isn't
that funny? Good-by, dear. [_Throwing Anne a kiss._] You look so sweet.

ANNE [_her hands on Ruth's shoulders for an impressive moment_].
Good-by, Ruth. Good-by.

    [_They kiss. Ruth goes. Left alone, a complete change comes over
    Anne. She drops the romantic attitude. She is nervously
    determined. She quickly arranges the flowers, takes out the box,
    etc., straightens the room, and surveys herself rapidly in the
    mirror. There is a sound of wheels outside. Anne goes to the bay
    window and looks out. Then she stands erect in the grip of an
    emotion that is more like terror than anticipation. Hearing the
    sound of footsteps on the stair she is panic-stricken and about to
    bolt, but at the sound of voices she pulls herself together and
    stands motionless._]

MAN'S VOICE [_outside_]. In here? All right!

    [_Harold Lawson enters, a well set up, bronzed, rather commonplace
    young man of about twenty-eight. He sees no one on his entry, but
    as he advances into the room, Anne comes down from the bay
    window._]

HAROLD. Hello, Miss Carey, how are you? Splendid to see you again, after
all this time. [_Anne looks at him without speaking, which slightly
embarrasses him._] You're looking fine. How's your mother--and little
Ruth?

ANNE [_slowly_]. Welcome home.

HAROLD. Oh, thanks. It's rather nice to be back in God's country. But
it's not for long this time.

ANNE. Are you going away again?

HAROLD. Yes. I've another appointment. This one in India, some big salt
mines. Not bad, eh? I made pretty good in Brazil, they tell me.

ANNE [_nervously_]. Sit down.

HAROLD. Thanks. Hot for September, isn't it? Though I ought to be used
to heat by this time. Sometimes the thermometer would run a hundred and
eight for a week on end. Not much fun, that.

ANNE. No, indeed.

HAROLD [_settling back comfortably to talk about himself_]. You know I
loathed it down there at first. What with all the foreigners and the
rotten weather and the bugs--thought I'd never get into the swing.
Wanted to chuck engineering for any old job that was cool, but after a
while--

ANNE. How long have you been home?

HAROLD. About three weeks. I'd really been meaning to come out here and
have a look round my old haunts, but there was business in New York, and
I had to go South and see my family--you know how time flies. Then your
note came. It was mighty jolly of you to ask me out here. By the way,
how did you know I was back?

ANNE [_after a pause_]. Madge Kennedy caught sight of you in New York.

HAROLD. Did she really? How is little Madge? And that odd brother of
hers. Is he just as much of a fool as ever? I remember once he said to
me--

ANNE. Oh, I didn't ask you here to talk about Madge Kennedy's family.

HAROLD [_taken aback_]. No ... no, of course, not. I--I've been
wondering just why you did ask me. You said you wanted to talk to me
about something.

ANNE [_gently_]. Weren't you glad to come?

HAROLD. Why, of course I was. Of course. And then your note fired my
curiosity--your asking me to come straight to you before seeing any one
else.

ANNE. Aren't you glad to be here with me?

HAROLD. Why surely, of course, but--[_Pause._]

ANNE. You see, people seemed to expect you would come to see me first of
all. I rather expected it myself. Don't you understand?

HAROLD [_very uncomfortably_]. No.... I'm afraid I don't....

ANNE. From the way you acted before you went away I thought you,
yourself, would want to see me first of all.

HAROLD. Before I went away? What do you mean?

ANNE. You know well enough what I mean. The parties those last
weeks--the theater we went to--the beautiful flowers you sent
Mother--the letter--

HAROLD. But--but--why, I was going away. You and your people had been
awfully nice to me, a perfect stranger in town. I was simply trying to
do the decent thing. Good Lord! You don't mean to say you thought--

ANNE [_watching him very closely_]. Yes, it's true, I thought--and every
one else thought--I've been waiting these two years for you to come
back.

    [_She drops her face into her hands. Her shoulders shake._]

HAROLD [_jumping up_]. Great Heavens! I never imagined--Why, Miss Carey,
I--oh, I'm terribly sorry! [_She continues to sob._] Please don't do
that--please! I'd better go away--I'll clear out--I'll go straight off
to India--I'll never bother you again.

    [_He seized his hat, and is making, in a bewildered way, for the
    door, when she intercepts him._]

ANNE. No. You mustn't go away!

HAROLD. But what can I do?

ANNE [_striking a tragic attitude_]. You mean to say you don't care at
all--that you have never cared?

HAROLD. Really, Miss Carey, I--

ANNE. For heaven's sake, don't call me Miss Carey. Call me Anne.

HAROLD. Miss Carey.... Anne.... I.... Oh, you'd better let me go--let me
get away before any one knows I'm here--before they think--

ANNE. It's too late. They think already.

HAROLD. Think what? What do you mean?

ANNE. Oh, this is terrible! Sit down, Harold, and listen to me. [_She
pushes him into a chair and begins to talk very rapidly, watching
intently the effect of her words upon him._] You see, when you went
away, people began to say things about us--you and me--about your
caring. I let them go on. In fact I believed them. I suppose it was
because I wanted so much to believe them. Oh, what a fool I've been!
What a fool!

    [_She covers her face with her hands. He gets up intending vaguely
    to comfort her, but she thinks he is making another move to go,
    and jumps to her feet._]

ANNE. And now you want to clear out like a thief in the night, and leave
me to be laughed at! No, no, you can't do that! You must help me. You've
hurt me to the very soul. You mustn't humiliate me before the world.

HAROLD. I'll do anything I can, Miss Carey.

ANNE. Anne!

HAROLD. Anne, I mean. But how?

ANNE [_after a moment's thought, as if the idea had just come to her_].
You must stay here. You must pretend for a few days--for a week at most,
that we're engaged.

HAROLD. I can't do that, you know. Really, I can't.

ANNE [_going to him_]. Why not? Only a little while. Then you'll go away
to India. We'll find it's been a mistake. I'll break it off,--it will
only be a pretense, of course, but at least no one will know what a fool
I've been.

HAROLD [_after a moment's hesitation_]. Miss Carey--Anne, I mean, I'll
do anything I can, but not that! A man can't do that. You see, there's a
girl, an English girl, down in Brazil, I--

ANNE. Oh, a girl! Another! Well, after all, what does that matter?
Brazil is a long way off. She need never know.

HAROLD. She might hear. You can't keep things like this hid. No. I
wouldn't risk that. You'd better let me clear out before your family
gets home. No one need ever know I've been here.

    [_Again he makes a move toward the door. Anne stands motionless._]

ANNE. You can't go. You can't. It's more serious than you imagine.

HAROLD. Serious? What do you mean?

ANNE. Come here. [_He obeys. She sits in a big chair, but avoids looking
at him. There is a delicate imitation of a tragic actress in the way she
tells her story._] I wonder if I can make you understand? It means so
much to me that you should--so much! Harold, you know how dull life is
here in this little town. You were glad enough to get away after a year
of it, weren't you? Well, it's worse for a girl, with nothing to do but
sit at home--and dream--of you. Yes, that's what I did, until, at last,
when I couldn't stand it any longer, I wrote you.

HAROLD [_quickly_]. I never got the letter, Miss Carey. Honor bright, I
didn't.

ANNE. Perhaps not, but you answered it.

HAROLD. Answered it? What are you talking about?

ANNE. Would you like to see your answer? [_She goes to the desk, takes a
packet of letters out of a drawer, selects one, and hands it to him._]
Here it is--your answer. You see it's post-marked Rio Janeiro.

HAROLD [_taking it wonderingly_]. This does look like my writing.
[_Reads._] "Anne, my darling--" I say, what does this mean?

ANNE. Go on.

HAROLD [_reading_]. "I have your wonderful letter. It came to me like
rain in the desert. Can it be true, Anne, that you do care? I ask myself
a hundred times what I have done to deserve this. A young girl seems to
me as exquisite and frail as a flower--" Great Scott! You don't think
_I_ could have written such stuff! What in the world!

ANNE [_handing over another letter_]. Here's the next letter you wrote
me, from the mine. It's a beautiful one. Read it.

HAROLD [_tears it open angrily, and reads_]. "I have been out in the
night under the stars. Oh, that you were here, my beloved! It is easy to
stand the dust and the turmoil of the mine without you, but beauty that
I cannot share with you hurts me like a pain--"

    [_He throws the letter on the table and turns toward her,
    speechless._]

ANNE [_inexorably_]. Yes, that's an exceptionally beautiful one. But
there are more--lots more. Would you like to see them?

HAROLD. But I tell you, I never wrote them. These aren't my letters.

ANNE. Whose are they, then?

HAROLD [_walking up and down furiously_]. God knows! This is some
outrageous trick. You've been duped, you poor child. But we'll get to
the bottom of this. Just leave it to me. I'll get detectives. I'll find
out who's back of it! I'll--

    [_He comes face to face with her and finds her looking quietly at
    him with something akin to critical interest._]

HAROLD. Good Lord. What's the matter with me! You don't believe those
letters. You couldn't think I wrote them, or you wouldn't have met me as
you did, quite naturally, as an old friend. _You understand!_ For
heaven's sake, make it clear to me!

ANNE. I am trying to.... I told you there had to be ... answers.... I
was afraid to send my letters to you, but there had to be answers.
[_Harold stares at her._] So I wrote them myself.

HAROLD. You wrote them yourself?!?

ANNE. Yes.

HAROLD. These? These very letters?

ANNE. Yes. I had to.

HAROLD. Good God! [_He gazes at the litter of letters on the desk in
stupefied silence._] But the handwriting.

ANNE. Oh, that was easy. I had the letter you wrote to Mother.

HAROLD. And you learned to imitate my handwriting?

ANNE [_politely_]. It was very good writing.

HAROLD [_in sudden apprehension_]. No one has seen these things,--have
they?

ANNE. They arrived by mail.

HAROLD. You mean people saw the envelopes. Yes, that's bad enough....
But you haven't shown them to any one? [_At her silence he turns
furiously upon her._] Have you?... Have you?

ANNE [_who enjoys her answer and its effect upon him_]. Only
parts--never a whole letter. But it was such a pleasure to be able to
talk about you to some one. My only pleasure.

HAROLD. Good heavens! You told people I wrote these letters? That we
were engaged?

ANNE. I didn't mean to, Harold. Really, I didn't. But I couldn't keep it
dark. There were your telegrams.

HAROLD. My telegrams?!?

    [_She goes to desk and produces a bundle of dispatches._]

ANNE [_brazen in her sincerity_]. You used to wire me every time you
changed your address. You were very thoughtful, Harold. But, of course,
I couldn't keep those secret like your letters.

HAROLD [_standing helplessly, with the telegrams loose in his fingers_].
My telegrams! Good Lord! [_He opens one and reads_.] "Leaving Rio for
fortnight of inspection in interior. Address care Señor Miguel--" _My_
telegrams!

    [_He flings the packet violently on the table, thereby almost
    upsetting a bowl of roses which he hastens to preserve._]

ANNE. And then there were your flowers. I see you are admiring them.

    [_Harold withdraws as if the flowers were charged with
    electricity._]

HAROLD. What flowers?

ANNE. These--these--all of them. You sent me flowers every week while
you were gone.

HAROLD [_overcome_]. Good God!

    [_He has now reached the apex of his amazement and becomes
    sardonic._]

ANNE. Yes. You were extravagant with flowers, Harold. Of course I love
them, but I had to scold you about spending so much money.

HAROLD. Spending so much money? And what did I say when you scolded me?

ANNE [_taken aback only for a moment by his changed attitude_]. You sent
me a bigger bunch than ever before--and--wait a minute--here's the card
you put in it.

    [_She goes to the same fatal desk and produces a package of
    florists' cards._]

HAROLD. Are all those my cards too?

ANNE. Yes.

HAROLD [_laughing a bit wildly_]. I'm afraid I was a bit extravagant!

ANNE. Here's the one! You wrote: "If all that I have, and all that I am,
is too little to lay before you, how can these poor flowers be much?"

HAROLD. I wrote that? Very pretty--very. I'd forgotten I had any such
knack at sentiments.

ANNE. And then, right away, you sent me the ring.

HAROLD [_jumps, startled out of his sardonic pose_]. Ring! What ring?

ANNE. My engagement ring. You really were very extravagant that time,
Harold.

HAROLD [_looking fearfully at her hands_]. But I don't see.... You're
not wearing...?

ANNE. Not there--here, next to my heart. [_She takes out a ring which
hangs on a chain inside her frock and presses it to her lips. Looking at
him deeply._] I adore sapphires, Harold.

    [_A new fear comes into Harold's eyes. He begins to humor her._]

HAROLD. Yes. Yes. Of course. Everyone likes sapphires, Anne. It is a
beauty. Yes. [_He comes very close to her, and speaks very gently, as if
to a child._] You haven't shown your ring to any one, have you, Anne?

ANNE. Only to a few people--One or two.

HAROLD. A few people! Good heavens! [_Then he controls himself, takes
her hands gently in his, and continues speaking, as if to a child._] Sit
down, Anne; we must talk this over a little,--very quietly, you
understand, very quietly. Now to begin with, when did you first--

ANNE [_breaks away from him with a little laugh_]. No, I'm not crazy.
Don't be worried. I'm perfectly sane. I had to tell you all this to show
how serious it was. Now you know. What are you going to do?

HAROLD. Do? [_He slowly straightens up as if the knowledge of her sanity
had relieved him of a heavy load._] I'm going to take the next train
back to New York.

ANNE. And leave me to get out of this before people all alone?

HAROLD. You got into it without my assistance, didn't you? Great Scott,
you forged those letters in cold blood--

ANNE. Not in cold blood, Harold. Remember, I cared.

HAROLD. I don't believe it. [_Accusingly._] You enjoyed writing those
letters!

ANNE. Of course I enjoyed it. It meant thinking of you, talking of--

HAROLD. Rot! Not of me, really. You didn't think I am really the sort of
person who could write that--that drivel!

ANNE [_hurt_]. Oh, I don't know. After a while I suppose you and my
dream got confused.

HAROLD. But it was the rankest--

ANNE. Oh, I'm not so different from other girls. We're all like that.
[_Repeating Ruth's phrase reminiscently._] We must have some one to
dream about--to talk about. I suppose it's because we haven't enough to
do. And then we don't have any--any real adventures like--shop girls.

HAROLD [_surprised at this bit of reality_]. That's a funny thing to
say!

ANNE. Well, it's true. I know I went rather far. After I got started I
couldn't stop. I didn't want to, either. It took hold of me. So I went
on and on and let people think whatever they wanted. But if you go now
and people find out what I've done, they'll think I'm really mad--or
something worse. Life will be impossible for me here, don't you
see--impossible. [_Harold is silent._] But if you stay, it will be so
easy. Just a day or two. Then you will have to go to India. Is that much
to ask? [_Acting._] And you save me from disgrace, from ruin!

    [_Harold remains silent, troubled._]

ANNE [_becoming impassioned_]. You must help me. You _must_. After I've
been so frank with you, you can't go back on me now. I've never in my
life talked to any one like this--so openly. You _can't_ go back on me!
If you leave me here to be laughed at, mocked at by every one, I don't
know what I shall do. I shan't be responsible. If you have any kindness,
any chivalry.... Oh, for God's sake, Harold, help me, help me!

    [_Kneels at his feet._]

HAROLD. I don't know.... I'm horribly muddled.... All right, I'll stay!

ANNE. Good! Good! Oh, you are fine! I knew you would be. Now everything
will be so simple. [_The vista opens before her._] We will be very quiet
here for a couple of days. We won't see many people, for of course it
isn't announced. And then you will go ... and I will write you a
letter....

HAROLD [_disagreeably struck by the phrase_]. Write me a letter? What
for?

ANNE [_ingenuously_]. Telling you that I have been mistaken. Releasing
you from the engagement ... and you will write me an answer ... sad but
manly ... reluctantly accepting my decision....

HAROLD. Oh, I am to write an answer, sad but manly--Good God! Suppose
you don't release me after all.

ANNE. Don't be silly, Harold. I promise. Can't you trust me?

HAROLD. Trust you? [_His eyes travel quickly from the table littered
with letters and dispatches to the flowers that ornament the room, back
to the table and finally to the ring that now hangs conspicuously on her
breast. She follows the look and instinctively puts her hand to the
ring._] Trust you? By Jove, no, I don't trust you! This is absurd, I
don't stay another moment. Say what you will to people. I'm off. This is
final.

ANNE [_who has stepped to the window_]. You can't go now. I hear Mother
and Ruth coming.

HAROLD. All the more reason. [_He finds his hat._] I bolt.

ANNE [_blocking the door_]. You can't go, Harold! Don't corner me. I'll
fight like a wildcat if you do.

HAROLD. Fight?

ANNE. Yes. A pretty figure you'll cut if you bolt now. They'll think you
a cad--an out and out cad! Haven't they seen your letters come week by
week, and your presents? And you have written to Mother, too--I have
your letter. There won't be anything bad enough to say about you.
They'll say you jilted me for that English girl in Brazil. It will be
true, too. And it will get about. She'll hear of it, I'll see to
that--and then--

HAROLD. But it's a complete lie! I can explain--

ANNE. You'll have a hard time explaining your letters and your
presents--and your ring. There's a deal of evidence against you--

HAROLD. See here, are you trying to blackmail me? Oh, this is too
ridiculous!

ANNE. They're coming! I hear them on the stairs! What are you going to
tell them?

HAROLD. The truth. I must get clear of all this. I tell you--

ANNE [_suddenly clinging to him_]. No, no, Harold! Forgive me, I was
just testing you. I will get you out of this. Leave it to me.

HAROLD [_struggling with her_]. No, I won't leave anything to you,
_ever_.

ANNE [_still clinging tightly_]. Harold, remember I am a woman--and I
love you.

    [_This brings him up short a moment to wonder, and in this moment
    there is a knock at the door._]

ANNE [_abandoning Harold_]. Come in. [_There is a discreet pause._]

MRS. CAREY'S VOICE [_off stage_]. May we come in?

ANNE [_angrily_]. Yes!

    [_Harold, who has moved toward the door, meets Mrs. Carey as she
    enters. She throws her arms about his neck and kisses him warmly.
    She is followed by Ruth._]

MRS. CAREY. Harold! My door boy!

RUTH [_clutching his arm_]. Hello, Harold. I am so glad.

    [_Harold, temporarily overwhelmed by the onslaught of the two
    women, is about to speak, when Anne interrupts dramatically._]

ANNE. Wait a moment, Mother. Before you say anything more I must tell
you that Harold and I are no longer engaged!

    [_Mrs. Carey and Ruth draw away from Harold in horror-struck
    surprise._]

MRS. CAREY. No longer engaged? Why.... What...?

HAROLD. Really, Mrs. Carey, I--

ANNE [_interrupts, going to her mother_]. Mother, dear, be patient with
me, trust me, I beg of you--and please, please don't ask me any
questions. Harold and I have had a very hard--a very painful hour
together. I don't think I can stand any more.

    [_She is visibly very much exhausted, gasping for breath._]

MRS. CAREY. Oh, my poor child, what is it? What has he done?

    [_She supports Anne on one side while Ruth hurries to the other._]

HAROLD. Really, Mrs. Carey, I think I can explain.

ANNE. No, Harold, there's no use trying to explain. There are some
things a woman feels, about which she cannot reason. I know I am doing
right.

HAROLD [_desperately_]. Mrs. Carey, I assure you--

ANNE [_as if on the verge of a nervous crisis_]. Oh, please, _please_,
Harold, don't protest any more. I am not blaming you. Understand,
Mother, I am not blaming him. But my decision is irrevocable. I thought
you understood. I beg you to go away. You have just time to catch the
afternoon express.

HAROLD. Nonsense, Anne, you must let me--

ANNE [_wildly_]. No, no, Harold, it is finished! Don't you understand?
Finished! [_She abandons the support of her mother and Ruth and goes to
the table._] See, here are your letters. I am going to burn them. [_She
throws the packet into the fire._] All your letters--[_She throws the
dispatches into the fire._] Don't, please, continue this unendurable
situation any longer. Go, I beg of you, go!

    [_She is almost hysterical._]

HAROLD. But I tell you I must--

ANNE [_falling back in her mother's arms_]. Make him go, Mother! Make
him go!

MRS. CAREY. Yes, go! Go, sir! Don't you see you are torturing the child.
I insist upon your going.

RUTH. Yes, she is in a dreadful state.

    [_Here Mrs. Carey and Ruth fall into simultaneous urgings._]

HAROLD [_who has tried in vain to make himself heard_]. All right, I'm
going, I give up!

    [_He seizes his hat and rushes out, banging the door behind him.
    Anne breaks away from her mother and sister, totters rapidly to
    the door and calls down gently._]

ANNE. Not in anger, I beg of you, Harold! I am not blaming you. Good-by.

    [_The street door is heard to bang. Anne collapses in approved
    tragedy style._]

ANNE [_gasping_]. Get some water, Ruth. I shall be all right in a
moment.

    [_Ruth rushes into the bedroom._]

MRS. CAREY. Oh, my dear child, calm yourself. Mother is here, dear. She
will take care of you. Tell me, dear, tell me.

    [_Ruth returns with the water. Anne sips a little._]

ANNE. I will, Mother--I will ... everything ... later. [_She drinks._]
But now I must be alone. Please, dear, go away ... for a little while. I
must be alone [_Rising and moving to the fire._] with the ruin of my
dreams.

    [_She puts her arms on the chimney shelf and drops her head on
    them._]

RUTH. Come, Mother! Come away!

MRS. CAREY. Yes, I am coming. We shall be in the next room, Annie, when
you want us. Right here.

ANNE [_as they go out, raises her head and murmurs_]. Dust and ashes!
Dust and ashes!

    [_As soon as they have gone, Anne straightens up slowly. She pulls
    herself together after the physical strain of her acting. Then she
    looks at the watch on her wrist and sighs a long triumphant sigh.
    Her eye falls on the desk and she sees the package of florists'
    cards still there. She picks them up, returns with them to the
    fire and is about to throw them in, when her eye is caught by the
    writing on one. She takes it out and reads it. Then she takes
    another--and another. She stops and looks away dreamily. Then
    slowly, she moves back to the desk, drops the cards into a drawer
    and locks it. She sits brooding at the desk and the open paper
    before her seems to fascinate her. As if in a dream she picks up a
    pencil. A creative look comes into her eyes. Resting her chin on
    her left arm, she begins slowly to write, murmuring to herself._]

ANNE [_reading as she writes_]. "Anne, my dearest.... I am on the train
... broken, shattered.... Why have you done this to me ... why have you
darkened the sun ... and put out the stars ... put out the stars?...
Give me another chance, Anne.... I will make good.... I promise you....
For God's sake, Anne, don't shut me out of your life utterly.... I
cannot bear it.... I...."


  [_The Curtain
  has fallen slowly as she writes._]




THE SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE

  A PANTOMIME

  BY HOLLAND HUDSON


  Copyright, 1920, by Frank Shay.
  All rights reserved.


  THE SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE was first produced by the Washington
  Square Players, at the Bandbox Theatre, New York City, on the night
  of March 26, 1915, with the following cast:

    THE PRINCESS                               _Frances Paine_.
    THE ATTENDANT                              _Beatrice Savelli_.
    THE SHEPHERD                               _Robert Locher_.
    THE WAZIR                                  _Arvid Paulson_.
    THE VIZIER                                 _John Alan Houghton_.
    GHURRI-WURRI [_the Beggar_}                _Harry Day_.
    THE GOAT                                   _E. J. Ballantine_.
    SLAVES OF THE PRINCESS                  {  _Josephine Niveson_.
                                            {  _Edwina Behre_.
    THE MAKER OF SOUNDS                        _Robert Edwards_.

  Produced under the direction of William Pennington. Scenes and
  costumes designed by Robert Locker.


  PROGRAM

  THE PERSONS:

    THE PRINCESS.
    THE ATTENDANT.
    THE SLAVES.
    THE WAZIR [_her guardian_].
    THE VIZIER.
    THE NUBIAN.
    THE SHEPHERD.
    THE GOAT.
    GHURRI-WURRI.
    THE MAKER OF SOUNDS.


  THE SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE is published for the first time. The
  editors are indebted to Mr. Holland Hudson for permission to include
  it in this volume. The professional and amateur stage rights on this
  pantomime are strictly reserved by the author. Applications for
  permission to produce the pantomime should be made to Frank Shay,
  Care Stewart & Kidd Company, Cincinnati, Ohio.


THE ACTION:

    I.  The Princess beholds The Shepherd in the Distance and goes in
          quest of him.
   II.  Ghurri-Wurri, enraged by the Princess' meager alms, swears
          vengeance.
  III. He reveals her destination to the Wazir.
   IV. Pursuit ensues.
    V. The Princess meets The Shepherd in the Distance. Her capture is
          averted by the faithful Goat.
   VI. The Goat's long head evolves a means of rescuing The Shepherd
          from the cruel Wazir.
  VII. The Princess joins The Shepherd in the Distance.


THE STORY.[1]

Of the Princess, we know only that she was fair and slender as the lily,
that somehow the fat and stupid Wazir became her guardian, and that he
neglected her utterly and played chess eternally in the garden with his
almost-equally-stupid Vizier. Is it any wonder she was bored?

One afternoon the Princess called for her ivory telescope, and, placing
it to her eye, sought relief from the deadly ennui which her guardian
caused. In the Distance she discerned a Shepherd, playing upon his pipe
for the dancing of his favorite Goat. While he played the Princess
marveled at his comeliness. She had never seen before a man so pleasing
in face and person. At the end of his tune it seemed to her that the
Shepherd turned and beckoned to her. She dared watch him no longer, lest
her guardian observe her.

When the Wazir, the Vizier and the Nubian were deep in their afternoon
siesta, the Princess stole out of the garden with her personal retinue
and her small, but precious hope chests, and set forth toward the
Distance.

Now on the highway between the foreground and the Distance lived a
wretched and worthless beggar who had even lost his name and was called
Ghurri-Wurri because he looked absolutely as miserable as that. He
pretended to be blind and wore dark spectacles. The greatest affliction
of his life was that his dark spectacles prevented him from inspecting
the coins that fell in his palm, and he received more than his share of
leaden counterfeits.

When Ghurri-Wurri observed the approach of the Princess and her retinue
he reasoned from the richness of their attire that alms would be
plentiful and large and he fawned and groveled before them. The Princess
was generous, but she was also in haste, so bade her attendant give him
the first coin that came to hand, and hurried on.

Ghurri-Wurri's rage knew no bounds. He wept, he stamped, he shook his
fists, he railed, and he cursed. Then, perceiving the Princess'
destination, he made haste to notify her guardian. The Wazir would not
believe him at first and the beggar would have lost his head if he had
not happened on the Princess' telescope and placed it in the Wazir's
hand.

Gazing toward the Distance, the Wazir saw the Princess and her retinue
nearing their destination. He lost his temper and did all of the
undignified things which Ghurri-Wurri had done. Then, with the Vizier
and the Nubian, he set forth in pursuit, forcing the reluctant
Ghurri-Wurri to guide them. They ran like the wind, till the beggar
gasped and staggered, only to be jerked to his feet and forced on by the
implacable Vizier, who was cruel as well as stupid.

Meanwhile the Princess arrived in the Distance. The Shepherd, who was as
wise as he was comely, had proper regard for her rank and danced in her
honor to his own piping. They had scarcely spoken to each other when the
faithful Goat warned them of the furious approach of the raging Wazir.
The Goat carried the Princess to a place of safety on his back while the
Shepherd stayed to delay her pursuers. Of the Nubian he made short work
indeed, but the Vizier overcame him with his great scimiter and they led
him captive to the garden, leaving Ghurri-Wurri cursing on the sands.

Arrived at the garden, the Wazir ordered the Shepherd bound in chains
and went on with his chess game. The Shepherd, in a gesture of despair,
came upon the Princess' telescope and, seeking some ray of hope, gazed
into the Distance. Here he saw the Princess and his faithful Goat, who,
he perceived, had invented a plan for his deliverance.

Soon the Princess returned to the garden, disguised as a wandering
dancer. She danced before the Wazir and pleased him so much that he bade
her come nearer. She did so, and bound the Vizier's arms with a scarf,
which so amused the Wazir that he laughed loud and long. Then she bound
the Wazir's arms in the same manner and it was the Vizier's turn to
laugh. Into their laughing mouths she thrust two poisoned pills so that
in another instant they fell over, quite dead, amongst the chessmen.

The omnivorous Goat delivered the Shepherd from his chains with his
strong teeth and they all returned to the Distance, where they still
dwell in more-than-perfect bliss and may be discerned through an ivory
telescope any fine afternoon.

  [1] A synopsis for readers only.


CONCERNING THE SCENERY.

In the original production by The Washington Square Players, THE
SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE was played in front of backgrounds of black
velvet. The garden scene consisted of a black velvet drop about half-way
between the curtain and back-wall, upon which a decorative white design
merely suggesting the garden and its gate was appliquéd. This drop was
made in three sections, the middle one hung on a separate set of lines
so that it could be raised to show the "Distance" (as seen through the
telescope) without disturbing the rest of the scene.

The "Distance" consisted of a velvet drop hung slightly behind the
middle section of the garden scene, on the middle of which two large,
white concentric circles were appliquéd around a circular opening about
five feet in diameter. The bottom of the opening was about eighteen
inches above the stage. Behind this stood a platform just large enough
to hold four characters at one time. Black masking drapes were provided
at both sides of the stage and behind the platform.

The Prologue, Scenes II, IV, V, the first part of Scene VII and the
Epilogue were all played before a plain velvet drop hung a few feet
upstage of the curtain line.

THE SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE has also been produced in colors very
effectively by the Hollywood Community Theatre, at Hollywood,
California. There is no reason why any highly decorative treatment of
scenery and costuming will not enhance the production if it be well
planned and consistent throughout.


IMPORTANT PROPERTIES.

The properties consist principally of a small chess table with most of
the chessmen glued on, two stools, a telescope, a balloon and papier
maché chain which are employed as a ball and chain, a very large Chinese
crash cymbal for the stage manager's use, and such personal properties
as occur in the text.


COSTUMES AND MAKE-UP.

Whatever scheme is selected for the scenery, the costumes and make-up
should be consistent with it. In the original production, all of the
characters but the Nubian were made up completely with clown white or
"Plexo," the eyebrows and eyes outlined in black and mouths rouged but
slightly. No unwhitened flesh was visible at all.

The Princess wore a white satin pseudo-Oriental costume with stiff ruffs
at the collar, wrists and knees, the trousers not gathered at the
ankles, a flat close-fitting turban with a number of ornaments and a
hanging veil, and white slippers. In the dance in Scene VI she used a
long black gauze scarf and a white one. Her attendant wore a similar
costume of cheaper material, an unornamented turban and black slippers.
Her slaves were also similarly garbed, in cotton, but with bulkier
turbans, and baggy trousers, gathered at the ankles.

The Wazir, armed with a preposterous "corporation," wore baggy white
trousers, gathered at the ankles, a sleeveless vest with wide,
horizontal black-and-white stripes, a white cloak hanging from his
shoulders which terminated in a large black tassel, a turban, a beard
made of several lengths of black portière cord sewed to white gauze, and
white pointed shoes. His bare arms were whitened, his eyebrows were
short, thick and high up on his forehead, and he carried a black
snuff-box.

The Vizier's white trousers were not so full as the Wazir's; his tight
white vest had tight white sleeves; his cloak was shorter and without a
tassel. His white turban, however, was decorated with antennæ of white
milliner's wire. He affected high arching eyebrows, a long pointed nose,
a drooping mustache, a disdainful mouth, carried a white wooden scimiter
about four feet long with a black handle and wore bells on his pointed
white shoes.

The Nubian wore black tights and shirt, black slippers and a white skull
cap and breech-clout. The rest of him, excepting his eyes and mouth,
which were whitened, was a symphony in burnt cork.

The Shepherd wore white, knee-length trunks, frayed at the ends, a
little drapery about the upper man, slippers and a cap. His body was
whitened profusely and he carried a tiny flute.

The Goat wore a white furry skin, horns, and foot and hand coverings
resembling hoofs. His make-up approached the animal's face as nearly as
possible.

Ghurri-Wurri wore tattered white baggy trousers, vest and cloak, a
turban and black goggles.

The Maker of Sounds was garbed in an all-enveloping white burnous and a
white skull cap.


A FEW STAGE DIRECTIONS.

Left and right, in this text, refer to the actor's, not the spectator's,
point of view. The action of the piece is meant to be two-dimensional;
the actors are to perform in profile as far as possible; except when
registry of facial expression is important the action should be parallel
with the back drop.

The entire action must be rhythmical and the rhythms should be used as
definite themes, one for the Princess and her retinue, another for the
Wazir, etc. The performance should be extremely rapid and must never
drag. The cast should direct special attention to the comic features,
and the director to the pictorial elements of the piece. The director
may consider the performance as an animated poster which moves rapidly
from design to design.



THE SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE

A PANTOMIME BY HOLLAND HUDSON


PROLOGUE.

    [_The curtain rises on a plain drop curtain. The Maker of Sounds
    enters with his arms full of instruments, crosses the scene and
    sits with his back against one side of the proscenium, outside the
    curtain line. He tries out all his instruments, wind, string,
    percussion and "traps." He yawns. He becomes impatient and raps on
    the stage._]

  Cymbal Crash              The lights go out
                            The drop is lifted in the darkness

  Cymbal Crash              The lights are turned on


SCENE I.

    [_The Wazir's garden. Discovered left to right, the Nubian,
    standing with folded arms, the Vizier, seated at the chess table,
    playing with the Wazir. At the other side of the stage, the
    Princess, her attendant, her two slaves. All stand motionless
    until set in action by the Maker of Sounds._]

    _The Music_                  _The Pantomime, etc._

  Tap--on Chinese wood      _Nubian_ unfolds his arms
  block

  Tap                       He salaams

  Tap                       Resumes original pose

  Tap                       _Vizier_ moves a chessman

  Tap                       _Wazir_ moves a chessman

  Tap                       _Vizier_ moves a chessman

  Tap                       _Wazir_ picks up snuff-box

  Tap                       Opens it

  Tap                       Offers Vizier snuff

  Tap                       _Vizier_ takes a pinch

  Sand blocks               Sniffs it

  Drum crash                _Vizier_ sneezes

  Drum crash                Sneezes again

  No sound                  Sneezes again
                            _Nubian_ sneezes synchronously with Vizier's
                              paroxysms

  Tap                       _Vizier_ returns snuff-box

  Tap                       _Wazir_ puts it away

  Bell                      _Princess_ yawns

  Tap                       Signals her attendant

  Tap                       _Attendant_ picks up telescope

  Tap                       Hands it to Princess

  Wind instrument           _Princess_ uses telescope
                                [The middle portion of the back drop is
                                  lifted to show the "Distance" in which
                                  the _Shepherd_ is discovered piping
                                  for the _Goat's_ dancing.]

  Stringed instrument       _The Shepherd_ sees the Princess, stops
                              piping, and declares his adoration across
                              the distance. He beckons her to join him.
                            _Princess_ promises to do so.
                                [The lifted portion of the drop is
                                  lowered again. The "Distance"
                                  vanishes.]

  Tap                       _Princess_ signals to her retinue

  Tap                       _Attendant_ relays the signal

  Tap                       _Slaves_ stoop.

  Tap                       Lift the hope chests to their shoulders

  Bass chord on             _Princess and retinue_ take one step
  stringed instrument         downstage

  Treble chord              All lean forward, watching Wazir

  Drum crash                _Wazir_ and _Vizier_ stand up

  Drum crash                They glare at Princess

  Tap on wood block         They sit

  Bass chord                _Vizier_ yawns

  Bass chord                _Wazir_ yawns

  Bass chord                _Nubian_ yawns

  Bass chord                _Vizier_ nods

  Bass chord                _Wazir_ nods

  Bass chord                _Nubian_ drops on one knee

  Treble chord              _Princess and retinue_ lean forward

  Bass chord                They take one step
                                [A continuation of this business takes
                                  them off at the left]
                            The lights go out

  Cymbal crash              [In the darkness. _Princess and retinue_
                              cross to right of stage, ready for
                              Scene II]
                            The plain drop is lowered

  Cymbal crash              The lights come up


SCENE II.

    _The Music_                  _The Pantomime, etc._

  Tambourine jingles        _Ghurri-Wurri_ discovered above at center,
                              with his dark glasses pushed up on his
                              forehead, counting his money.

  Tap on piece              He finds a bad coin
  of crockery

  Sand blocks               Bites it

  Tap crockery              Throws it away

  Begins the Princess       Hears the _Princess and retinue_ approaching
  rhythms on Chinese
  wood block

  [Telegraphically          He pulls glasses over his eyes
  expressed it is ... ...
  ... ... Musically,
  accented triplets,
  common time, _presto_]    He grovels

  Princess rhythm           _Princess and retinue_ enter from the right
  continues                 They pass by Ghurri-Wurri without pause

  Drum crash                _Ghurri-Wurri_ runs ahead and prostrates
                              himself before the Princess

  Tap                       _Princess' retinue_ halts

  Tap                       _Princess_ signals to attendant

  Tap                       _Attendant_ signals to nearest slave

  Tap                       _Slave_ proffers chest

  Tap, Tap, Tap             _Attendant_ opens it, takes coin, closes it

  Tap                       Gives coin to Princess

  Tap on crockery           _Princess_ drops coin in beggar's hand

  Princess rhythm           _Princess and retinue_ exit at the left

  Begin drum roll           _Ghurri-Wurri_ looks at coin, scrambles to
  _pp. cresc. to ff._         his feet, looks after Princess, shakes
                              his fists, starts to the right, turns,
                              shakes his fist again, exits at right,
                              raging

  Cymbal crash              Lights out
                            In the darkness Ghurri-Wurri crosses to
                              left of stage, ready for Scene III
                            The drop is lifted

  Cymbal crash              Lights up


SCENE III.

    [The Wazir's Garden as in Scene I]

    _The Music_                  _The Pantomime, etc._

  Bass chords             _Wazir_, _Vizier_ and _Nubian_ asleep as
                            before

  Tap on drum             _Ghurri-Wurri_ enters at the left

  Tap on drum             Prostrates himself before Wazir

  Bass chord              _Wazir and court_ sleep on

  Tap on drum             _Ghurri-Wurri_ again prostrates himself

  Bass chord              _The Court_ sleeps on

  Drum crash              _Ghurri-Wurri_ slams himself down hard

  Drum crash              _Wazir_, _Vizier_, _Nubian_ awake

  Drum roll               _Wazir_ shakes his fist at the beggar

  Wood-block tap          Signals Vizier

  Sand blocks             _Vizier_ runs thumb along his scimiter
                            blade

  Tap                     _Ghurri-Wurri_ retreats to the right

  Tap                     He stumbles over the telescope

  Tap, tap                He picks it up and hands it to the Wazir

  Tap                     _Ghurri-Wurri_ points to the "Distance."

  Tap                     _The Wazir_ uses the telescope

  Princess rhythm         The "Distance" is revealed as in Scene I
                          _Princess and retinue_ are seen traveling
                            [across the platform from right to left]

  Tap                     _The Wazir_ lowers the telescope
                          The "Distance" vanishes as in Scene I

  Drum crash              _Wazir_ stamps his foot

  Drum roll               He shakes his fists, first at the distance,
                            then off left

  Tap                     Points at Ghurri-Wurri

  Tap                     _Vizier_ seizes Ghurri-Wurri by the scruff
                            of the neck

  Tap                     _Vizier_ points off left with his scimiter

  Wazir rhythm on         _The Court_ _and_ _Ghurri-Wurri_ begin to
  wood-drum                 run, _Nubian_ first, then _Ghurri-Wurri_,
  [Telegraphically          then _Vizier_, then _Wazir_. The running
  stated ... ... etc.       is entirely vertical in movement, no
                            ground being covered at all.
  Musically, accented     Lights out
  eighth notes in 2/4     [In the darkness, the runners move downstage
  time, _presto_]           without losing step. A plain drop is lowered
                            behind them]

  Cymbal crash

  Cymbal crash            Lights on


SCENE IV.

    _The Music_                  _The Pantomime, etc._

  Wazir rhythm,       The runners increase their speed throughout the
  _crescendo_ and       scene
  _acceleramento_     _Ghurri-Wurri_ slips to his knees,
                      _Vizier_, without losing a step, jerks him back on
                        his feet
                      _Ghurri-Wurri_, pointing left, resumes running
                      _Wazir_ points left
                      When the runners have reached their maximum speed

  Cymbal crash        The lights go out
                      In the darkness the _Wazir's court_ and
                        _Ghurri-Wurri_ exit and take their places
                        at the right ready for Scene V
                      _The Shepherd_ and _Goat_ take their places

  Cymbal crash        Lights up


SCENE V.

    _The Music_                  _The Pantomime, etc._

  Wind instrument     [A plain drop]
                      _The Shepherd_ is discovered well to the left,
                        piping for the Goat
                      _Goat_ is dancing

  Begin Princess      _Goat_ stops to listen, looks off to the right
  rhythm              _Shepherd_ looks to the right
                      _Goat_ crosses to extreme right, bows
                      _Princess and retinue_ enter

  Tap                 They halt

  Tap                 _The Shepherd_ kneels to the Princess, then dances
                        for her

  Stringed instrument

  Drum roll _pp.      _The Goat_ becomes alarmed
  crescendo_          _All_ turn and look to the right
                      _Goat_, on all fours, offers his back to the
                        Princess
                      _Shepherd_ induces
                      _Princess_ to sit on Goat's back

  Princess rhythm     _Goat_ exits, followed by Princess and retinue

  Tap                 _Shepherd_ folds his arms

  Wazir rhythm        _Wazir's Court_ and _Ghurri-Wurri_ enter from the
                        right

  Tap                 They halt

  Tap                 _Wazir_ points to Shepherd

  Tap                 _Vizier_ brandishes his scimiter

  Drum roll           _Nubian_ approaches Shepherd

  Drum crash          _Nubian_ falls

  Drum roll           _Wazir_ shakes his fists
    _Crescendo_       Points at Shepherd
      to              _Vizier_ attacks Shepherd with scimiter
                      _Shepherd_ grasps scimiter
                      They struggle, conventionally, one, two, three,
                        four, five, six

  Drum crash          _The Shepherd_ falls

  Drum roll           _The Vizier_ waves his scimiter aloft

  Drum roll           _Wazir_ exults

  Tap                 _Nubian_ rises

  Tap                 _Wazir_ points to the right

  Tap                 _Vizier_ points at Shepherd with scimiter

  Tap                 _Nubian_ seizes the Shepherd

  Wazir rhythm        _Wazir's Court_ and _Shepherd_ exit at the right,
                        ignoring Ghurri-Wurri, Nubian and Shepherd
                        first, then Vizier, then Wazir. [All cross
                        behind the drop to left of stage ready for
                        Scene VI]

  Drum crash          _Ghurri-Wurri_ stamps his foot

  Drum roll           Shakes his fists after them

  Drum roll           Runs to left and shakes his fists at the Princess

  Drum roll           Runs to right and shakes them at the Wazir
                      Runs to center and shakes them at the audience

  Cymbal crash        Lights out
                      _Ghurri-Wurri_ exits
                      The drop is raised

  Cymbal crash        Lights on


SCENE VI.

    [The Wazir's garden. No characters on scene]

    _The Music_                  _The Pantomime, etc._

  Wazir rhythm        _Nubian_ enters from left, holding the Shepherd
                      The _Wazir_ and _Vizier_ follow

  Tap                 _Wazir_ takes his seat, smirking

  Tap                 _Wazir_ orders Shepherd thrown down at the right

  Drum crash          _Nubian_ complies

  Tap                 _Vizier_ orders Nubian off right

  Wazir rhythm, fast  _Nubian_ hurries out

  Wazir rhythm, slow  Reënters, staggering under a ball and chain [the
                        chain of papier maché and the ball a balloon]

  Drum crash          Drops these beside the Shepherd

  Clank, clank        Rivets chain to Shepherd's leg

  Tap                 Rises

  Tap                 _Vizier_ orders Nubian off, left

  Wazir rhythm        _Nubian_ exits left

  Tap                 _Vizier_ sits

  Tap                 _Wazir_ moves a chessman

  Tap                 _Vizier_ moves a chessman

  Tap                 _Shepherd_, in a gesture of despair, finds the
                        telescope
                      He looks into the "Distance"
                          [The "Distance" is shown as in Scene I]

  Stringed music      _Princess_ and _Goat_ discovered in conference.
                        Goat has an idea. He points to the Shepherd,
                        then to the Wazir, then to the Princess and
                        executes an ancient dance movement which is
                        contemporaneously described as the "shimmy"
                      _The Princess_ claps her hands and exits,
                        followed by the Goat

  Tap                 _Shepherd_ lowers the telescope
                          [The "Distance" vanishes]

  Tap                 _Shepherd_ is puzzled

  Stringed music      _Princess_ enters from the left, veiled and
                        carrying a scarf in her hands
                      _Goat_ enters with her, goes at once to the
                        Shepherd
                      _Princess_ poses at center
                      _Wazir_ and _Vizier_ turn, smirking
                      _Princess_ dances
                      _Wazir_ leers and strokes his beard
                      _Princess_ ends dance beside Vizier

  Chords, agitato     She ties his arms with her scarf

  Sand blocks         _Wazir_ is convulsed with laughter

  Chords              _Princess_ binds Wazir's arms with her veil

  Sand blocks         _Vizier_ is convulsed with laughter

  Princess rhythm on  _The Attendant_ enters from the left with a box
  wood drum             on which a skull and cross-bones are conspicuous

  Tap                 _Princess_ takes two pills from the box

  Tap                 She pops them into her prisoners' open mouths

  Princess rhythm     _The Attendant_ exits as she came

  Sand blocks         _Wazir_ and _Vizier_ swallow vigorously

  Drum crash          They lay their heads upon the chess table and die

  Tap                 _Princess_ beckons to the Shepherd

  Tap                 _Shepherd_ points to his fetters

  Tap                 _Goat_ attacks the ball and chain

  Drum crash          He "bites" the ball [bursts the balloon]

  Tap                 He "bites" the chain.

  String music        _Princess_, _Shepherd_ and _Goat_ dance in a
                        circle

  Cymbal crash        Lights out
                      _Princess_ and _Shepherd_ and _Goat_ ready at left
                        for next scene
                      The drop is lowered

  Cymbal crash        Lights up


SCENE VII.

    _The Music_                  _The Pantomime, etc._

  String music        _Princess_ and _Shepherd_ dance across followed
                        by the _Goat_, who is playing on the Shepherd's
                        pipe
                      _Princess_ and _Shepherd_, behind the drop take
                        their places on the platform

  Cymbal crash        Lights out
                          [The drop is lifted]

  Cymbal crash        Lights on
                          [The Wazir's garden with the middle
                            section of the drop lifted to show
                            the "Distance"]

  String music        _Shepherd_ and _Princess_ discovered in the
                        "Distance" posed in a kiss

  Cymbal crash        Lights out
                          [The drop is lowered]

  Cymbal crash        Lights on
                      The Maker of Sounds rises, yawns cavernously,
                        bows very slightly and exits


  [_Curtain._]




BOCCACCIO'S UNTOLD TALE

  A PLAY

  BY HARRY KEMP


  Copyright, 1920, by Stewart & Kidd Co.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS OF THE DRAMA.

    FLORIO [_a poet_].
    OLIVIA [_Florio's mistress_].
    VIOLANTE [_a Florentine noblewoman_].
    LIZZIA [_Florio's serving-woman_].
    DIONEO [_a member of Boccaccio's party_].
    ONE VOICE.
    ANOTHER VOICE.
    VARIOUS PROCESSIONS BEARING THE DEAD.

  TIME: _The year of the Great Plague, A. D. 1348_.
  PLACE: _Florence_.


  Published by permission of and special arrangement with Harry Kemp.
  Applications for the right of performing BOCCACCIO'S UNTOLD TALE must
  be made to Mr. Harry Kemp, in care of Brentano's, New York.



BOCCACCIO'S UNTOLD TALE

A PLAY BY HARRY KEMP


    [SCENE: _A lower room in Florio's house. It is wide and simply
    furnished._

    _In the center, at back, is a large doorway, hung with great black
    arras. In the right-hand extreme corner is a small altar to the
    Virgin._

    _In wall, at back, high up on left, a small window._

    _A smaller doorway, hung with arras of black, is on the left, well
    toward the front. This doorway gives on the study of the poet._

    _At rise of curtain the stage is lit with the uncertain light of
    tapers._

    _Lizzia, the old servant, is discovered kneeling at the altar._

    _Soon she rises, crossing herself devoutly._

    _Demurringly and with deprecating shakes of the head, she begins
    hanging wreaths about the walls of the room._

    _After the hanging of each wreath she crosses herself, and, with
    agitated piety verging on superstition, she bends the knee briefly
    before altar._

    _Now the wreaths are all in place.... Through the small window the
    grayness that comes before dawn begins to glimmer in._

    _One by one Lizzia snuffs out the tapers._

    _For a moment everything is left in the gray half-darkness._

    _But now Lizzia draws aside the large black arras in the back.
    There is revealed a magnificent panoramic view of medieval
    Florence, flushing gradually from pearl-gray to soft, delicate
    rose, then to the full gold of accomplished sunrise._

    _Again the old woman kneels at the altar._

    _Enter, through the open doorway at back, Violante--rather tall,
    good-looking, quite dark._

    _Violante stands silent for a moment. One can see that it is in
    her thought to wait till Lizzia finishes her devotions ... then
    she becomes impatient and breaks in on them._]


VIOLANTE

  Lizzia, where bides your master, Florio?
  I sped a servant hither yesterday,
  To bid him come to me, and now, this morning,
  I come myself.


LIZZIA

          For three days he has looked upon no one.
  Even I, who wait upon him, have not seen him.


VIOLANTE

  Where keeps he, then?


LIZZIA [_indicating the small doorway_].

                Yonder, within that arras.


VIOLANTE

  Summon him forth!
  Say the Lady Violante waits his presence.


LIZZIA

  He will grow wroth with me--nor will he greet you.


VIOLANTE

  Fears he, then, the Plague so? Is he too such
  As dare not walk abroad nor breathe the air
  Lest he should drink infection?


LIZZIA

  Not so, Lady, but he--


VIOLANTE

                        Tell him, then,
  Our friend Boccaccio, the story-teller,
  Has shaped a brave device against the Plague....
  Before the sun climbs higher into day
  And the night's Dead are heaped up in the streets
  For buriers and priests to draw away,
  A group of goodly ladies and gentlemen
  Go forth to a sequestered country place
  Remote from Florence and invisible Death.
  There, in green gardens full of birds and leaves,
  The blue, cloud-wandering heaven spread above,
  We shall beguile the time with merriment,
  Music and song and telling of many tales,
  Trusting that Death, glutted with multitudes,
  Will pass us by.... We need but Florio
  To bring our perfect pleasure to the brim.


LIZZIA [_obstinately_]

  But he will see no one, Lady, not even you.
  He is--he is--


VIOLANTE

            Not smitten by the Plague?


LIZZIA [_hesitating_]

  Nay, he has taken a vow of close seclusion.


VIOLANTE [_confidently_]

  But he knows not I am here--the Lady Violante! [_A pause_.]
  [_Impetuously_] Go, tell him it is I,--
  Nor take upon yourself such high command!


LIZZIA [_somewhat resentfully_]

  I am a servant,
  I only do as he commanded me....
    [_Barring way_.]


VIOLANTE [_distractedly_]

  Strange that he should so change in ten days' space.
    [_With passionate abandonment_]
  Old woman, go this instant--summon him!
  I will abide your crabbed ways no longer.


LIZZIA [_stung to retaliation_]

  Lady, he would not look upon your face
  If you made him ruler of the world for it.


VIOLANTE [_flaming_]

  What new freak of his is this?
  He is as full of moods as any woman....
  But I had never thought--
    [_Determined_]
  I will go to him!


LIZZIA [_again barring way_]

  I could tell you many things,
  But I would spare you.


VIOLANTE

  Spare me!... you insolent, presumptuous old woman,
  What have I,
  I, the Lady Violante Ugolini,
  To do with your good master, Florio,
  Beyond a fostering friendship for his song!
  Else he were nothing to me....
  You are presuming on your age and service--
  He shall rebuke you for this....


LIZZIA

  Very well, Lady, if you must know--
  He has sworn that he will look upon no one
  Till he behold--Olivia!


VIOLANTE [_startled_]

  Olivia!... who is Olivia?


LIZZIA

  She is a girl who came from Padua
  Hither, to flee the Plague ... and fled in vain.
  He has loved her just ten days ... since first she came....
  She came to him, a stranger, singing songs--
  His songs!


VIOLANTE

  And flattering him so--he loved her!


LIZZIA

  Nay, she was beautiful, my noble lady,--
  Surpassing wonderful.... "His shining dream
  Of ivory and gold," he called her....


VIOLANTE [_coldly_]

  What has all this to do with me?
    [_Relapsing into forgetful eagerness._]
  Tell me, where, then, is his Olivia now?


LIZZIA

  The Plague! He gave her to a doctor's care,
  Beggaring himself therefor, as one who loves!


VIOLANTE

  And now he shuts himself away for grief
  Because she died!... But, if she be dead,
  Wherefore these garlands?--
  Or does he think she will come back, alive?


LIZZIA

  The learned doctor swears if she survives
  Three days, she shall not die.


VIOLANTE

                    Not die, in sooth!
  Who is this man who resurrects the Dead?
  Why, folk whose nerves and sinews sing with life
  Sicken, fall down, and seethe with death and worms
  Within an hour, and they, the few who live,
  Living, curse God because they did not die....
  He would best think of the Living, and forget
  The Dead.


LIZZIA

  Half-crazed with love, he dreams she will return....
  This is the morning after the third day--
  This is the very hour she would return.
  Suppose the learned doctor keep his word?--
  Hence have I hung these garlands.

    [_The sounds of a funeral procession heard approaching.... The
    procession passes the large doorway, going by, along the street,
    without. The people bear candles.... They pass slowly by the open
    door ... bodies being carried in shrouds._]


ONE VOICE

  We bore the son ... and now we bear the father....


ANOTHER VOICE

  And I or you, mayhap, will be the next.


LIZZIA [_continuing_]

  These wreaths, they seem a mockery of Heaven.
  I pray that God will smite me not--I do
  What I am bid!...


VIOLANTE [_half to herself_]

  She will not come!...
    [_To Lizzia_]
  Is there nothing will cure his madness?


LIZZIA

  Even if she die they are to bring her hither....


VIOLANTE

  Hither? And all corrupt? Then Death will strike you both!


LIZZIA

  Lady, I am so old I'd rather sleep
  Than walk this sinful, weary world; and be--
  He will unshroud her, kiss her lips, and die!


VIOLANTE [_with great bitterness_]

  Fie, this our Florio--he has loved before,
  And he will love again, and yet again....
  Women's beauty he loves, not any woman!


LIZZIA

  What you have said were true ten days ago--
  Do I not know him, Lady?... But a change
  Has come upon him that I marvel at--
  So great a change in such a little while....
  Ah, looked you on them when they were together,
  Saw you how he is caught up in her face
  And all the beauty of her, you would say
  "Here is a love, at last, that climbs from earth to heaven!"


VIOLANTE [_laughing harshly_]

  It is her beauty he loved; not she
  The thing he loved! A poet, he!...
    [_A pause._]
  It were as well you tore these garlands down:
  If, by a miracle, she should return,
  The Plague will have marked her with such ugliness
  That even you will shine like Helen of Troy beside her!
  Much will he care, then, if she sing his songs!
  Had she a voice like a garden of nightingales
  He could not listen to her without loathing....

    [_Sounds of approach of another funeral procession._]


VIOLANTE [_continuing_]

  Pray draw the arras, Lizzia, and close out
  The things that they bring by.... They have begun
  To move the night's innumerable Dead.

    [_Lizzia draws the large arras.... From now on, till the very
    last, just before climax, sound and murmur of processions are
    continually heard._]


VIOLANTE [_persistently_]

  I think she will not come--
  But, if she does, she should be spared the cruelty
  Of his heart's change,
  And he, her marred, plague-broken face!
  Stand aside--let me pass....


LIZZIA [_barring way again_]

                          He took his oath
  Before that altar, to the most high God!
  You shall not break his vow....


VIOLANTE

  Let me go to him--here are my jewels!


FLORIO [_calling from within_]

  Who is it speaks without? Whose voice is this
  Wrangling and breaking in upon my peace?


LIZZIA

  The Lady Violante Ugolini!


FLORIO

  To-day, of all days, must I be alone....

    [_Florio pushes out arras from small doorway and stands before it,
    so that he remains unseen to Violante and Lizzia._]


FLORIO [_to Lizzia_]

  Go, Lizzia, I will speak with the Lady....
  Have you the wreaths hung, Lizzia?


LIZZIA

  Aye, master Florio!


FLORIO

  Have you the table heaped with delicacies
  In the green space by the fountain-shaken pool?


LIZZIA

  I go to set the viands now, my master.

    [_Lizzia goes out._]


FLORIO

  Violante, if you would speak with me,
  Stay where you are--I cannot look upon you.


VIOLANTE

  Not look upon me?


FLORIO

  Nor must you look on me.... I have vowed a vow!


VIOLANTE

  How strange you are!...
  I had thought to rush into your arms!...
  Have you forgotten so soon the oaths you took?

    [_She starts toward him._]


FLORIO [_hearing the rustle of her garment._]

  Move one step further and I draw the arras!


VIOLANTE [_halting and hesitating_]

  Have you forgotten the first time you saw my face
  And sent a sonnet to me?... It seems but a day
  Since you were awed by my nobility....
  And when I let you press your burning lips
  Against my hand, you swore it made you God!
      [_Sadly_]
  From that time it was not far to my mouth....
  And, after that, what with the shining moon,
  And nightingales beginning in the dusk,
  And songs and music that you made for me--
  In a little while I was entirely yours!...


FLORIO

  Remember that young nobleman who died
  For love of you?... I was your pastime, merely that!
  And so I sipped what honey came my way.
  But why do you come now?
  Did you not leave me without a word?


VIOLANTE

                          My father....
  [_Sombrely_] My father whom the Pestilence has smitten--


FLORIO [_quickly_]

  You sent me no message.


VIOLANTE

  Every door was watched ... he might have had you slain....
  He bore me off to Rome....


FLORIO

                        You loved me, then?


VIOLANTE

  And did not you love me?


FLORIO

  I could have sworn I did.


VIOLANTE

                            O Florio!...
  Where is my pride of rank, my woman's shame.
  That I should come like this to you!


FLORIO

  Speak not so, Violante--I pray you go!


VIOLANTE

  You love another, then?


FLORIO [_ecstatically_]

  I have loved beauty, beauty all my life!


VIOLANTE

  We are not metaphors and pale abstractions,
  We women ... nor would we be prized alone
  For smooth perfections.... [_Low and intense_] Say that you loved a
    woman
  Smitten with the Plague, say, further, that she lived--
  One among ten thousand--that she came back to you,
  [The one thing sure] hideous and marred--


FLORIO

  You try me sorely!
  Violante, I pray you, go!


VIOLANTE [_persistently_]

  I have come hither
  To bid you come away with me.


FLORIO

  It may not be.


VIOLANTE [_slowly_]

  The other one--there is another one!--
  I pity her!


FLORIO

  You need not.


VIOLANTE

                  Ah, then, there is another?


FLORIO

  Have you no pride, my Lady Violante?


VIOLANTE

  That I have not,
  For shameless is the heart that loves.


FLORIO

  Then shamelessly I love
  Another face, another heart and body,
  Another soul, unto eternity--
  She is all beauty to me, and all life--
  So shall she be forever!


VIOLANTE

  Forever? That is what you swore to me.


FLORIO

  I have not sworn a single oath to her,
  And yet she made earth heaven in a day,
  And earth continues heaven.... Go, noble Lady!


VIOLANTE

  You have no pity on me?...
  You see
  How humbly I've become....


FLORIO

  To pity you, Lady, would be cruel to her!...
  In a month you will be glad.


VIOLANTE

  You have slain me, Florio!


FLORIO

  Farewell, Violante!

    [_Violante affects to go. But she stops quickly at large door in
    back and reënters on tiptoe. Florio withdraws to his study again,
    after listening for a moment_.]


LIZZIA [_reëntering_]

    You have not gone, my Lady Violante?


VIOLANTE

  I will not go
  Till I have looked upon this woman's face!

    [_As she finishes these words, the great black arras in the back
    is listed and a hooded and veiled woman enters. She stands
    regarding the two other women in silence._]


VIOLANTE

  Ah!


LIZZIA

  The miracle has come to pass!

    [_Crosses herself._]


VIOLANTE

  Do they call you Olivia? Speak, woman!


OLIVIA

  Yea, I am she--but where is Florio?

    [_Violante straightens, proud and erect, as if she had been struck
    an invisible blow._]


LIZZIA

  He waits for you within.


OLIVIA

  So he had faith I would not die?


LIZZIA

  He had these garlands hung for your return.
  He has lived beneath a holy vow, the days
  You were not here: shut in his room,
  Yours must be the first face
  He sees, on his return to light and life.
  He must have fallen asleep from weariness
  Or he had heard your voice.
    [_To Violante._]
  Now, Lady Violante, you must go!


VIOLANTE [_indignant_]

  How? I must go?


LIZZIA

  You would not stay?


VIOLANTE

  Yea, I would stay to see this love grow dark
  And shrink to hate.


OLIVIA [_astonished_]

  And shrink to hate?


VIOLANTE

              When you remove your veil
  Behind which ugliness that beggars hell
  Lies hidden--


OLIVIA [_dazed_]

          Ugliness?


VIOLANTE

                Cast by your veil!...
  Well may you shrink from your own hideousness
  Since the foul plague has withered up your face
  And seared it till you die....
  There shines your mirror, wrought of polished brass--
  How many hours you have dallied at it
  Only the beauty that you once possessed
  Can tell.
  You will no longer find a use for it.


OLIVIA [_recovering herself_]

  I trust I shall!


LIZZIA [_to Olivia_]

  Alas, dear God! And is it true, Olivia?


OLIVIA [_to Lizzia_]

  Would he not love me still if it were true?


LIZZIA [_to Olivia_]

  I am old and wretched and full of woe.
  I have known life too long.


VIOLANTE [_to Olivia_]

  He whose one cry is beauty! How could _that_ be?


OLIVIA [_almost singing in speech_]

  Then, God be praised, I need not try him thus!
  For God has wrought two miracles with me:
  I live, and I am beautiful!


VIOLANTE

  Unveil your face, then--give yourself to sight.


OLIVIA

  His must be the first eyes that look on me.


VIOLANTE

  Ah, so you trust that you, with fond deceit,
  May find some magic way to cozen him?


LIZZIA [_with great emotion_]

  Go, Lady--I see darkness in the air,
  I thrill to some strange horror, yet unguessed....
  Go, Lady Violante, I pray you, go!

    [_Lizzia lifts arras in back for Violante's exit. Violante does
    not move from where she stands._]


VIOLANTE [_persistently, to Olivia_]

  Woman it is your beauty that he loved,
  And that alone ... just as he loves a flower
  Or sunset.... That gone, lo, his love is gone!


OLIVIA

  Strange woman, there is evil in your voice!
  And yet I know he loves me for myself,
  Taking my beauty, none the less, in gladness
  Like any transitory gift from God.


VIOLANTE

  And yet you dare not put him to the test?


OLIVIA

  What test?


VIOLANTE

                To make him first believe
  That you are ugly!


OLIVIA

  I would not toy with such a splendid gift
  As a man's love.


VIOLANTE [_mocking_]

  Ah ... in sooth?


OLIVIA

  How strange you look ... yet stranger is your speech.


VIOLANTE

  Before you came--whom loved he then?


OLIVIA

  I do not think he was like other men.


VIOLANTE

  Like other men he took and tossed aside,
  Deceived and lied and went from heart to heart
  Reaping the richness of each woman's soul.


OLIVIA

  Go, lest I strike you!


VIOLANTE

            Poor, fond, believing child--
  Now I would not have you test his love!


OLIVIA [_stirred_]

  By all the saints, I'll put him to the test!...
    [_As Violante steps closer to her_]
  Nay, I'll not let you look upon my face....
  He must, as I have vowed, look on it first,
  Nor will I break that vow--[_Her vanity conquering_]
  But lift yon mirror
  And you shall look in it and see me there
  Reflected!...

    [_Violante lifts mirror so she and Lizzia can see reflection_.]


OLIVIA [_with simplicity_]

  Keep your backs so!
    [_Unveiling briefly, then drawing veil again_.]
  There! Have I lied?


VIOLANTE

  He always worshiped beauty.... You are fair!


OLIVIA

  Soon will you know our love has mighty wings
  Outsoaring time into eternity!


VIOLANTE

  I'll have him forth--are you ready for the trial?


OLIVIA

  Do you persuade him of my ugliness....
  If he loves me not I shall go forth and die--
  Then life will be far too like death to live!


LIZZIA [_agonized_]

  My little children, you must not do this thing!
  Love is too high a gift to play with so.
  God only has the right to put the heart
  Of man to trial!


VIOLANTE [_to Lizzia_]

  Will you be quiet, old woman!


OLIVIA [_to Lizzia_]

  I would not hold him if he only loved
  My beauty, and not me. The test is just....


VIOLANTE [_to Lizzia_]

  Go you, inform him of her return....
  But tell him that that flower which was her face
  Is shriveled up and lean as any hag's.


LIZZIA

  Now God forbid I should deceive him so!


VIOLANTE

  Not even for gold?


LIZZIA

                Have you no fear of God?

    [_A stir is heard within._]


VIOLANTE

  Hush!... I will do it, then.
    [_Going up to small arras over study door, she calls._]
                Florio!... Florio!...


FLORIO [_from within, after a brief space_]

  Who is it calls me?


VIOLANTE

                        It is I, Violante!


FLORIO

  Why have you come again?


VIOLANTE

  I have returned, Florio,
  In strange times, bearing strange news.


FLORIO

  My soul is full of death--I pray you go!


VIOLANTE

  It could not be--aye, it is passing strange!--
  She said her name was "Olivia."


FLORIO

  Olivia, ah, she lives!


VIOLANTE

  Then, it is true? You love this shriveled woman?


FLORIO

  Shriveled woman?


VIOLANTE

  Ugly and bent and gray--a woman
  Who says in as few words she is your mistress.


FLORIO

  Has she come? Is she here?... Go, Violante--
  Go, leave us two alone!


VIOLANTE

  She walked as one bewitched in a dream.
  She seemed to fear.... I bade her wait without....
    Florio, could it be true you loved this woman?


FLORIO

  Has all the brightness fallen from her eyes,
  The glory and the wonder from her face?


VIOLANTE

  She _lives_! How few have had the plague and _lived_!


FLORIO

  Alas, woe, woe is me!


VIOLANTE [_triumphantly, to Olivia_]

  You heard?
    [_To Florio._]
  Come forth--she's at the threshold.


FLORIO

                          Bid her wait.
  Give me space for thought ... a little space....
  This is almost as horrible as her death....

    [_Long silence. The women wait.... Groaning within. Olivia starts
    forward to go to Florio._]


VIOLANTE [_to Olivia_]

  Do you flinch now? I knew you would not dare!

    [_Olivia stops. Proudly she remains still._]


VIOLANTE [_as arras stirs_]

  Now bear _your_ part--continue the deceit.


OLIVIA [_in a frightened voice_]

  I know he loves me. Yet a little while
  And I will draw my veil!
    [_Another groan. Olivia starts forward again._]
                            Oh, I cannot!


VIOLANTE [_mocking_]

  I knew you would not dare!

    [_Again Olivia stops still. Now, after a long pause, during which
    death processions are heard to pass, the arras over the smaller
    doorway is slowly put aside. Florio enters, swaying. He holds his
    cloak about his brow._]


FLORIO

  Where is Olivia?


OLIVIA [_feigning with an effort_]

  Florio, God pity you and me--
  I had rather died!...


FLORIO

                        Oh, speak not so!


OLIVIA

  My "beauty clean and golden as the sun,"
  As once you sang it, has become so gross
  And fearful, that I veil it, broken with shame,
  From eyes of men.... [_A pause._] 'Tis well you cloak your eyes,
  For should I drop my veil through which I glance--[_Another pause._]
  Shall I go?


FLORIO [_breathing heavily_]

  No ... for I love you ... bide with me....
  [_With great effort_] ... Though you be foul, Olivia!

    [_As he still stands muffled, Olivia grows more and more
    frightened at what she is doing, and now, in complete surrender to
    terror, gives over the deceit and speaks the truth._]


OLIVIA

  Florio, my Florio--draw down your arm....
  No longer need you fear to look on me--
  It was a test, my love, a cruel test!

    [_She draws aside her veil, the other women in back of her, Florio
    obliquely in front. Her face is seen to be one of surpassing
    loveliness._

    _Florio, groaning, keeps his face cloaked and does not speak._]


OLIVIA

  Look, my beloved, or I shall go mad!

    [_Olivia tugs at his arm. He lowers it. He exposes a sightless
    face._]


LIZZIA [_breaking in on the awful pause_].

  Self-blinded, my poor master!


VIOLANTE

  Oh, Florio, what is this that I have done!

    [_Olivia has dropped slowly back, stricken dumb with voiceless
    terror. Her throat works convulsively with a scream which now
    rushes forth._

    _Florio falls to his knees, again covering his face and bowing his
    head. Olivia comes and kneels, grief-stricken, beside him, putting
    one arm about him in support._]


OLIVIA [_sobbing_]

  There is ... no one ... that's ... uglier ... than I!


FLORIO [_convulsively_]

  You were the glory of the world, Olivia!...
  And now ... your beauty ... that is ... dead ... will always be ...
    to me ...
  The glory of ... the world!... forever and forever!...


OLIVIA

  Oh, if you could but see my ugliness--
  I think there's nothing like it in the world!
  O God, why did I not die an hour ago!


VIOLANTE [_crazed anew with jealousy_]

  Florio, Florio--Olivia lies!
  Her beauty floods the very room with light--
  You are deceived most horribly!


OLIVIA

  Command that woman hence;
  She is the source and cause of all our ill.


FLORIO

  What does this mean? My soul is sick to death!


VIOLANTE

  I tell you, Florio, that she lies to you.

    [_To Lizzia._]

  Tell him the truth, old woman, and beware,
  As you have fear of Hell, belief in God,
  And hope of Heaven, to perjure not your soul!


LIZZIA [_at first frightened and irresolute, then quietly determined._]

  God help me--she is surpassingly--ugly!

    [_Returning Violante glare for glare._]

  Her ugliness--!

    [_Breaking down, she goes to altar and drops on knees before it._]


FLORIO

  Go, Violante!


VIOLANTE

  I could curse God for this!

    [_Violante staggers toward the great black curtain in doorway,
    where she supports herself by clinging to it._]


FLORIO

  Olivia, come back to me from the great Dark--
  All life is but a ghost. Where are you, Olivia?


OLIVIA

  I am here--close to you, Florio!


FLORIO

  What have you women done to me!
    [_To Olivia._] Your face!
  An evil dream is in my heart!

    [_He gropes, catches her quickly on each side of the head with
    both hands. He draws her down to him. He runs his fingers
    flickeringly over the smooth, rosy beauty of her face...._

    _Then, with an eyeless, uplifted countenance which reveals
    complete understanding and an abyss of horror and madness, he
    slowly pushes Olivia away...._

    _He lifts his fingers up grotesquely in the air, each distinct and
    widespread--painfully, as if fire spurted out of the ends of them.
    Olivia weeps...._

    _Lizzia intones prayers...._

    _Violante holds herself erect and triumphant, clinging to the
    great arras in back, struggling for strength to go out._

    _At this moment another death-procession passes.... A Miserere is
    chanted...._

    _A dawn of horror breaks over Violante's face ... she shrinks
    inward from the passing procession, feeling the huge horror of the
    Pestilence._

    _Olivia gathers Florio's unresisting head to her bosom...._

    _The sound of the Miserere dies off...._

    _Into this tableau breaks Dioneo. Slowly he parts the arras._]


DIONEO [_grimacing, and seeing, at first, only Lizzia at the altar._]

  Bestir yourself, old woman--
  Where is your master, Florio,
  And Lady Violante Ugolini?...
  This is no time for lovers' dallying....
  Tell them that Seignior Boccaccio
  Sends word through me that we must wait no longer.
  And, furthermore, he bids me say--that

    [_Violante falls in a faint across his feet. Dioneo sees all.
    Shrinking back._]

  Merciful God!...


  [_Curtain._]




ANOTHER WAY OUT

  A COMEDY

  BY LAWRENCE LANGNER


  Copyright, 1916, by Lawrence Langner.
  All rights reserved.


  ANOTHER WAY OUT was originally produced by the Washington Square
  Players at the Comedy Theatre, New York, on November 13th, 1916,
  with the following cast:

    MARGARET MARSHALL            _Gwladys Wynne_.
    MRS. ABBEY                   _Jean Robb_.
    POMEROY PENDLETON            _Jose Ruben_.
    BARONESS DE MEAUVILLE        _Helen Westley_.
    CHARLES P. K. FENTON         _Robert Strange_.

  TIME: _The Present_.

  Produced under the direction of MR. PHILLIP MOELLER.


  Reprinted from "Plays of the Washington Square Players," published by
  Frank Shay, by permission of Mr. Lawrence Langner. Applications for
  permission to perform ANOTHER WAY OUT must be made to Lawrence
  Langner, 55 Liberty Street, New York.



ANOTHER WAY OUT

A COMEDY BY LAWRENCE LANGNER


    [SCENE: _The studio in Pendleton's apartment. A large room, with
    sky-light in center wall, doors right and left, table set for
    breakfast; a vase with red flowers decorates the table. Center
    back stage, in front of sky-light, modeling stand upon which is
    placed a rough statuette, covered by cloth. To one side of this is
    a large screen. The furnishings are many hued, the cushions a
    flare of color, and the pictures fantastically futuristic._

    _At Rise: Mrs. Abbey, a benevolent looking, middle-aged woman, in
    neat clothes and apron, is arranging some dishes on the table.
    Margaret, a very modern young woman, is exercising vigorously. She
    is decidedly good-looking. Her eyes are direct, her complexion
    fresh, and her movements free. Her brown hair is "bobbed," and she
    wears a picturesque Grecian robe._]


MRS. ABBEY. Breakfast is ready, ma'am.

    [_Margaret sits at table and helps herself. Exit Mrs. Abbey, left._]

MARGARET [_calling_]. Pommy dear. Breakfast is on the table.

PENDLETON [_from without_]. I'll be there in a moment.

    [_Margaret glances through paper; Pendleton enters, door right. He
    is tall and thin, and of æsthetic appearance. His long blond hair
    is brushed loosely over his forehead and he is dressed in a
    helitrope-colored dressing gown. He lights a cigarette._]

MARGARET. I thought you were going to stop smoking before breakfast.

PENDLETON. My dear, I can't possibly stand the taste of tooth paste in
my mouth all day.

    [_Pendleton sits at table. Enters Mrs. Abbey with tray. Pendleton
    helps himself, then drops his knife and fork with a clang. Mrs.
    Abbey and Margaret are startled._]

MRS. ABBEY. Anything the matter, sir?

PENDLETON. Dear, dear! My breakfast is quite spoiled again.

MRS. ABBEY [_concerned_]. Spoiled, sir?

PENDLETON [_pointing to red flowers on breakfast table_]. Look at those
flowers, Mrs. Abbey. Not only are they quite out of harmony with the
color scheme in this room, but they're positively red, and you know I
have a perfect horror of red.

MRS. ABBEY. But you like them that color sometimes, sir. What am I to do
when you're so temperamental about 'em.

MARGARET. Temperamental. I should say bad-tempered.

MRS. ABBEY [_soothingly_]. Oh no, ma'am. It isn't bad temper. I
understand Mr. Pendleton. It's just another bad night he's had, that's
what it is.

PENDLETON [_sarcastically polite_]. Mrs. Abbey, you appear to have an
intimate knowledge of how I pass the nights. It's becoming quite
embarrassing.

MRS. ABBEY. You mustn't mind an old woman like me, sir.

    [_The sound of a piano hopelessly out of tune, in the apartment
    upstairs, is heard, the player banging out Mendelssohn's Wedding
    March with unusual insistence._]

PENDLETON. There! That confounded piano again!

MARGARET. And they always play the Wedding March. There must be an old
maid living there.

MRS. ABBEY. They're doing that for a reason.

MARGARET. What reason?

MRS. ABBEY. Their cook tole me yesterday that her missus thinks if she
keeps on a-playing of the Wedding March, p'raps it'll give you an' Mr.
Pendleton the idea of getting married. She don't believe in couples
livin' to-gether, like you an' Mr. Pendleton.

MARGARET. No?

MRS. ABBEY. And I just said you an' Mr. Pendleton had been living
together so long, it was my opinion you might just as well be married
an' done with it.

MARGARET [_angrily_]. Your opinion is quite uncalled for, Mrs. Abbey.

PENDLETON. Why shouldn't Mrs. Abbey give us her opinion? It may be
valuable. Look at her experiences in matrimony.

MRS. ABBEY. In matrimony, and out of it, too.

MARGARET [_sitting_]. But Mrs. Abbey has no right to discuss our affairs
with other people's maids.

MRS. ABBEY. I'll be glad to quit if I don't suit the mistress.

MARGARET [_angrily_]. There! Mistress again! How often have I asked you
not to refer to me as the mistress?

MRS. ABBEY. No offense, ma'am.

PENDLETON. You'd better see if there's any mail, Mrs. Abbey, and take
those flowers away with you.

MRS. ABBEY. Very well, sir.

    [_Exit Mrs. Abbey door center._]

MARGARET. What an old-fashioned point of view Mrs. Abbey has.

    [_Pendleton takes up paper and commences to read._]

MARGARET. Pommy, why do you stoop so?

PENDLETON. Am I stooping?

MARGARET. I'm tired of telling you. You ought to take more exercise.

    [_Pendleton continues to read._]

MARGARET. One reason why the Greeks were the greatest of artists was
because they cultivated the body as carefully as the mind.

PENDLETON. Oh! Hang the Greeks!

    [_Enter Mrs. Abbey right, with letters._]

MRS. ABBEY. There are your letters, sir. [_Coldly._] And these are
yours, ma'am.

    [_Exit Mrs. Abbey left._]

MARGARET [_who has opened her letters meanwhile_]. How delightful! Tom
Del Valli has asked us to a party at his studio next Friday.

PENDLETON [_opening his letters_]. Both of us?

MARGARET [_giving him letter_]. Yes, and Helen Marsden wants us for
Saturday.

PENDLETON. Both of us?

MARGARET [_picking up another letter_]. Yes, and here's one from Bobby
Watson for Sunday.

PENDLETON. Both of us?

MARGARET. Yes.

PENDLETON. Really, Margaret, this is becoming exasperating. [_Holds up
letters._] Here are four more, I suppose for both of us. People keep on
inviting us out together time after time as though we were the most
conventional married couple on God's earth.

MARGARET. Do you object to going out with me?

PENDLETON [_doubtfully_]. No, it isn't that. But we're having too much
of a good thing. And I've come to the conclusion that it's your fault.

MARGARET [_indignantly_]. Oh! it's my fault? Of course you'd blame me.
Why?

PENDLETON. Because you have such an absurd habit of boasting to people
of your devotion for me, when we're out.

MARGARET. You surely don't expect me to quarrel with you in public?

PENDLETON. It isn't necessary to go to that extent. But then everybody
believes that we're utterly, almost stupidly in love with one another,
what can you expect?

MARGARET. You said once you never wanted me to suppress anything.

PENDLETON. That was before we began to live together.

MARGARET. What could I have done?

PENDLETON [_up right_]. Anything just so we could have a little more
freedom instead of being tied to one another the way we are. Never a
moment when we're not together, never a day when I'm not interviewed by
special article writers from almost every paper and magazine in the
country, as the only successful exponent of the theory that love can be
so perfect that the marriage contract degrades it. I put it to you,
Margaret, if this is a free union it is simply intolerable!

MARGARET. But aren't we living together so as to have more freedom?
Think of what it might be if we were married. Didn't you once write that
"When marriage comes in at the door, freedom flies out at the window"?

PENDLETON. Are we any better off, with everybody treating us as though
we were living together to prove a principle?

MARGARET. Well, aren't we incidently? You said so yourself. We can be a
beautiful example to other people, and show them how to lead the pure
natural lives of the later Greeks?

PENDLETON. Damn the later Greeks! Why do you always throw those
confounded later Greeks in my face? We've got to look at it from our
standpoint. This situation must come to an end.

MARGARET. What can we do?

PENDLETON. It rests with you.

MARGARET. With me?

PENDLETON. You can compromise yourself with somebody publicly. That'll
put an end to everything.

MARGARET. How will that end it?

PENDLETON. It'll break down the morally sanctified atmosphere in which
we're living. Then perhaps, people will regard us as immoral and treat
us like decent human beings again.

MARGARET. But I don't want to compromise myself.

PENDLETON. If you believe in your own ideas, you must.

MARGARET. But why should I have to do it?

PENDLETON. It will be so easy for you.

MARGARET. Why can't we both be compromised? That would be better still.

PENDLETON. I should find it a bore. You, unless my memory fails me,
would enjoy it.

MARGARET. You needn't be cynical. Even if you don't enjoy it, you can
work it into a novel.

PENDLETON. It's less exertion to imagine an affair of that sort, and the
result would probably be more saleable. Besides I have no interest
whatsoever in women, at least, in the women we know.

MARGARET. For that matter, I don't know any eligible men.

PENDLETON. What about Bob Lockwood?

MARGARET. But he's your best friend!

PENDLETON. Exactly--no man ever really trusts his best friend. He'll
probably compromise you without compunction.

MARGARET. I'm afraid he'd be too dangerous--he tells you all his
secrets. Whom will you choose?

PENDLETON. It's a matter of complete indifference to me.

MARGARET. I've heard a lot of queer stories about Jean Roberts. How
would she do?

PENDLETON [_firmly_]. Margaret, I don't mind being party to a
flirtation--but I draw the line at being the victim of a seduction.

MARGARET. Why not leave it to chance? Let it be the next interesting
woman you meet.

PENDLETON. That might be amusing. But there must be an age limit. And
how about you?

MARGARET [_takes cloth off statuette and discloses figure of Apollo in
rough modeling clay_]. Me! Why not the new model who is coming to-day to
pose for my Apollo?

PENDLETON. Well, if he's anything like that, you ought to be able to
create a sensation. Then, perhaps, we shall have some real freedom.

MARGARET. Pommy, do you still love me as much as you did?

PENDLETON. How you sentimentalize! Do you think I'd be willing to enter
into a flirtation with a strange woman, if I didn't want to keep on
living with you?

MARGARET. And we won't have to break up our little home, will we?

PENDLETON. No, anything to save the home. [_Catches himself._] My God!
If any of my readers should hear me say that! To think that I, Pomeroy
Pendleton, should be trying to save my own home. And yet, how
characteristically paradoxical.

MARGARET [_interrupting_]. You are going to philosophize! Give me a
kiss.

    [_She goes to him, sits on his lap, and places her arm on his
    shoulder; he takes out cigarette, she lights it for him._]

PENDLETON [_brought back to reality_]. I have some work to do--I must
go.

MARGARET. A kiss!

PENDLETON [_kisses her carelessly_]. There let me go.

MARGARET. I want a real kiss.

PENDLETON. Don't be silly, dear, I can't play this morning. I've simply
got to finish my last chapter.

    [_A bell rings, Mrs. Abbey enters and goes to door._]

MRS. ABBEY. There's a lady to see Mr. Pendleton.

MARGARET. Tell her to come in!

PENDLETON. But, Margaret!

MARGARET. Remember! [_Significantly._] The first woman you meet!

    [_Exit Margaret. Mrs. Abbey enters with Baroness de Meauville.
    Exit Mrs. Abbey._]

BARONESS DE MEAUVILLE [_speaking with a pronounced English accent_].
Good morning, Mr. Pendleton, I'm the Baroness de Meauville!

PENDLETON [_recalling her name_]. Baroness de Meauville? Ah, the
costumiere?

BARONESS. Not a costumiere, Mr. Pendleton, I am an artist, an artist in
modern attire. A woman is to me what a canvas is to a painter.

PENDLETON. Excuse me for receiving you in my dressing gown. I was at
work.

BARONESS. I like to see men in dressing gowns--yours is charming.

PENDLETON [_flattered and pleased_]. Do you like it? I designed it
myself.

BARONESS [_looking seductively into his eyes_]. How few really creative
artists there are in America.

PENDLETON [_modestly_]. You flatter me.

BARONESS. Not at all. You must know that I'm a great admirer of yours,
Mr. Pendleton. I've read every one of your books. I feel I know you as
an old friend.

PENDLETON. That's very nice of you!

    [_The Baroness reclines on couch; takes jeweled cigarette case
    from reticule and offers Pendleton a cigarette._]

BARONESS. Will you smoke?

PENDLETON. Thanks.

    [_Pendleton lights her cigarette, then his own. He draws his
    chair up to the couch. An atmosphere of mutual interest is
    established._]

BARONESS. Mr. Pendleton, I have a mission in life. It is to make the
American woman the best dressed woman in the world. I came here to-day
because I want you to help me.

PENDLETON. But I have no ambitions in that direction.

BARONESS. Why should you have ambitions? Only the bourgeoisie have
ambitions. We artists have inspirations. I want to breathe into you the
spirit of my great undertaking. Already I have opened my place in the
smartest part of the Avenue. Already I have drawn my assistants from all
parts of the world. Nothing is lacking to complete my plans but you.

PENDLETON. Me? Why me?

BARONESS [_endearingly_]. Are you not considered one of the foremost men
of letters in America?

PENDLETON [_modestly_]. Didn't you say you had read all my books?

BARONESS. Are you not the only writer who has successfully portrayed the
emotional side of American life?

PENDLETON [_decidedly_]. Yes.

BARONESS. Exactly. That is why I have chosen you to write my
advertisements.

PENDLETON [_aghast_]. But, Baroness!

BARONESS. You're not going to say that. It's so ordinary.

PENDLETON. But, but, you want me to write advertisements!

BARONESS. Please don't disappoint me.

PENDLETON. Yes, I suppose that's so. But one has a sense of pride.

BARONESS. Art comes before Pride. Consider my feelings, an aristocrat,
coming here to America and engaging in commerce, and advertising, and
other dreadful things, and all for the sake of Art!

PENDLETON. But you make money out of it!

BARONESS. Only incidentally. Just as you, in writing my advertisements,
would make, say ten thousand or so, as a sort of accident. But don't let
us talk of money. It's perfectly revolting, isn't it? Art is Life, and I
believe in Life for Art's sake. That's why I'm a success.

PENDLETON. Indeed? How interesting. Please go on.

BARONESS. When a woman comes to me for a gown, I don't measure body, why
should I? I measure her mind. I find her color harmony. In a moment I
can tell whether she ought to wear scarlet, mauve, taupe, magenta, or
any other color, so as to fall into her proper rhythm. Every one has a
rhythm, you know. [_Pendleton sits on sofa._] But I don't have to
explain all this to you, Mr. Pendleton. You understand it intuitively.
This heliotrope you are wearing shows me at once that you are in rhythm.

PENDLETON [_thinks of Margaret_]. I'm not so sure that I am. What you
say interests me. May I ask you a question?

BARONESS. Yes, but I may not answer it.

PENDLETON. Why do you wear heliotrope and the same shade as mine?

BARONESS [_with mock mystery_]. You mustn't ask me that.

PENDLETON. I'm all curiosity.

BARONESS. Curiosity is dangerous.

PENDLETON. Supposing I try to find out?

BARONESS. That may be even more dangerous.

PENDLETON. I'm fond of that kind of danger.

BARONESS. Take care! I'm very fragile.

PENDLETON. Isn't heliotrope in rhythm with the faint reflection of
passion?

BARONESS. How brutal of you to have said it.

PENDLETON [_coming closer to her_]. I, too, am in rhythm with
heliotrope.

BARONESS [_with joy_]. How glad I am. Thank God you've no desire to kiss
my lips.

PENDLETON. Only your finger-tips.

    [_They exchange kisses on finger-tips._]

PENDLETON. Your fingers are like soft, pale, waxen tapers!

BARONESS. Your kisses are the breathings that light them into quivering
flame!

PENDLETON. Exquisite--exquisite!

BARONESS [_withdrawing her hands_]. That was a moment!

PENDLETON. We must have many such.

BARONESS. Many? That's too near too much.

PENDLETON [_feverishly_]. We shall, dear lady.

BARONESS. How I adore your writings! They have made me realize the
beauty of an ideal union, the love of one man for one woman at a time.
Let us have such a union, you and me.

PENDLETON [_taken back_]. But I live in such a union already.

BARONESS [_rising in amazement_]. And only a moment ago you kissed me!

PENDLETON. Well--what of it?

BARONESS. Don't you see what we've done? You are living in one of those
wonderful unions you describe in your books--and I've let you kiss me.
I've committed a sacrilege.

PENDLETON. You're mistaken. It isn't a sacrilege. It's an opportunity.

BARONESS [_dramatically_]. How can you say that--you whose words have
inspired my deepest intimacies. No, I must go. [_Makes for the door._]
I--must--go.

PENDLETON. You don't understand. I exaggerated everything so in my
confounded books.

BARONESS. Please ask her to forgive me. Please tell her I thought you
were married, otherwise, never, never, would I have permitted you to
kiss me.

PENDLETON. What made you think I was married?

BARONESS. One often believes what one hopes.

PENDLETON. You take it too seriously. Let me explain.

BARONESS. What is there to explain? Our experience has been complete.
Why spoil it by anti-climax?

PENDLETON. Am I never to see you again?

BARONESS. Who knows? If your present union should end, and some day your
soul needs--some one?

    [_Exit door center, her manner full of promise._]

PENDLETON [_with feeling_]. Good-by--long, pale fingers.

    [_Enter Margaret, door right._]

MARGARET. Did you get a good start with the scandal?

PENDLETON. Not exactly. I may as well admit it was a failure through no
fault of mine, of course. And now, I simply must finish that last
chapter.

    [_He exits. Margaret rings. Mrs. Abby enters._]

MARGARET. You may clear, Mrs. Abbey.

MRS. ABBEY. Very well, ma'am.

    [_She attends to clearing the table._]

MARGARET. Mrs. Abbey, have you worked for many people living together,
like Mr. Pendleton and myself?

MRS. ABBEY. Lor', Ma'am, yes. I've worked in nearly every house on the
south side of Washington Square.

MARGARET. Mr. Pendleton says I'm as domestic as any wife could be. Were
the others like me?

MRS. ABBEY. Most of them, ma'am, but some was regular hussies; not only
a-livin' with their fellers--but havin' a good time, too. That's what I
call real immoral.

    [_Bell rings. Mrs. Abbey opens door center and passes out.
    Conversation with Fenton without is heard. Mrs. Abbey comes
    back._]

MRS. ABBEY. A young man wants to see you, ma'am.

MARGARET. That's the new model. I'll get my working apron.

    [_Exit Margaret, door right. Mrs. Abbey calls through door center._]

MRS. ABBEY. You c'n come in.

    [_Enter door left, Charles P. K. Fenton, dictionary salesman. He
    is a strikingly handsome young man, offensively smartly dressed in
    a black and white check suit, gaudy tie, and white socks. His hair
    is brushed back from his forehead like a glossy sheath. He carries
    a black bag. His manner is distinctly "male."_]

MRS. ABBEY [_points to screen_]. You can undress behind there.

FENTON. Undress? Say, what's this? A Turkish bath?

MRS. ABBEY. Did you expect to have a private room all to yourself?

FENTON [_looking around_]. What am I to undress for?

MRS. ABBEY. The missus will be here in a minute.

FENTON. Good night! I'm goin'.

    [_Makes for door._]

MRS. ABBEY. What's the matter? Ain't you the Missus' new model?

FENTON. A model! Ha! Ha! You've sure got the wrong number this time. I'm
in the dictionary line, ma'am.

MRS. ABBEY. Well, of all the impudence! You a book agent, and a-walkin'
in here.

FENTON. Well, you asked me in, didn't you? Can't I see the missus, jest
for a minute?

MRS. ABBEY [_good-naturedly_]. Very well. Here she is.
[_Confidentially._] And I advise you to remove that Spearmint from your
mouth, if you want to sell any dictionaries in this house.

FENTON [_placing hand to mouth_]. Where shall I put it?

MRS. ABBEY. You'd better swallow it!

    [_Fenton tries to do so, chokes, turns red, and places his hand to
    mouth._]

MARGARET [_to Fenton_]. I'm so glad to see you.

    [_Fenton is most embarrassed. Mrs. Abbey, in surprise, attempts to
    explain situation._]

MRS. ABBEY. But, ma'am--

MARGARET. You may go, Mrs. Abbey.

MRS. ABBEY. But, but, ma'am--

MARGARET [_severely_]. You may go, Mrs. Abbey. [_Exit Mrs. Abbey in a
huff._] I'm so glad they sent you up to see me. Won't you sit down?

    [_Fenton finds it a difficult matter to handle the situation. He
    adopts his usual formula for an "opening," but his speech is
    mechanical and without conviction. Margaret adds to the
    embarrassment by stepping around him and examining him with
    professional interest._]

FENTON. Madam, I represent the Globe Advertising Publishing Sales Co.,
the largest publishers of dictionaries in the world.

MARGARET [_continuing to appraise him_]. Then you're not the new model?

FENTON. No, ma'am.

MARGARET. What a pity! Never mind, go on.

FENTON. As I was saying, ma'am, I represent the Advertising Globe
Publishing--I mean the Globe Publishing Sales Publishing Co., the
largest publishers of dictionaries in the world. For some time past we
have felt there was a demand for a new Encyclopaedic Dictionary, madam,
one that would not only fill up a good deal of space in the bookshelf,
making an attractive addition to the home, but also containing the most
complete collection of words in the English language.

MARGARET [_who has taken a pencil and is measuring Fenton while he
speaks; Fenton's discomfort is obvious. He attempts to rearrange his tie
and coat, thinking she is examining him._] Please go on talking, it's so
interesting.

FENTON. Statistics show that the Woman of Average Education in America,
Madam, has command of but fifteen hundred words. This new dictionary,
Madam, [_Produces book from bag._] will give you command of over eight
hundred and fifty thousand.

MARGARET [_archly_]. So you are a dealer in words--how perfectly
romantic.

FENTON [_warming_]. Most of these words, madam, are not used more than a
dozen times a year. They are our Heritage from the Past. And all these
words, to say nothing of the fact that the dictionary fills five inches
in a bookshelf, making an attractive addition to the library, being
handsomely bound in half-cloth--all these are yours, ma'am, for the
price of one dollar.

    [_He places dictionary in her hand. She examines it._]

FENTON. If you have a son, madam, the possession of this dictionary will
give him an opportunity of acquiring that knowledge of our language
which made Abraham Lincoln the Father of our Country. Madam, opportunity
knocks at the door only once and _This_ is _your_ opportunity at one
dollar.

MARGARET [_meaningly_]. Yes, this is my opportunity! I'll buy the
dictionary and now [_sweetly_] won't you tell me your name?

FENTON [_pocketing dollar_]. My name is Charles P. K. Fenton.

MARGARET. Mr. Fenton, would you mind doing me a favor?

FENTON [_looking dubiously towards the screen_]. Why, I guess not,
ma'am.

MARGARET. I want you to take off your coat.

FENTON [_puzzled_]. You're not trying to kid me, ma'am?

MARGARET. I just want to see your development. Do you mind?

FENTON [_removes coat_]. Why, no, ma'am, if that's all you want.

MARGARET. Now, bring your arm up, tighten the muscles. [_Fenton does as
she bids; Margaret thumps his arm approvingly._] Splendid! You must take
lots of exercise, Mr. Fenton.

FENTON. Not me, ma'am. I never had no time for exercise; I got that
workin' in a freight yard.

Margaret. I suppose you think me rather peculiar, Mr. Fenton.

FENTON. You said it, Miss.

MARGARET. You see I'm a sculptress. [_Points to statuette._] This is my
work.

FENTON. You made that? Gee! that's great. [_Examines statuette._] Just
like them statues at the Metropolitan.

MARGARET. That figure is Apollo, Mr. Fenton.

FENTON. Oh, Apollo.

MARGARET. I was to engage a professional model for it, but I could never
hope to get a professional as fine a type as you. Will you pose for it?

FENTON [_aghast_]. Me? That feller there without any clothes.
[_Dubiously._] Well, I don't know. It's kind of chilly here.

MARGARET. If I draped you, it would spoil some of your lines. [_Seeing
his hesitation._] But I will if you like.

FENTON [_relieved_]. Ah, now you're talking.

MARGARET. So, you'll really come?

FENTON. How about this evening?

MARGARET. Splendid! Sit down. [_Fenton does so._] Mr. Fenton, you've
quite aroused my curiosity. I know so few business men. Is your work
interesting?

FENTON. Well, I can't say it was, until I started selling around this
neighborhood.

MARGARET. Is it difficult?

FENTON. Not if you've got personality, Miss. That's the thing,
personality. If a feller hasn't got personality, he can't sell goods,
that's sure.

MARGARET. What do you mean by personality, Mr. Fenton.

FENTON. Well, it's what sells the goods. I don't know how else to
explain it exactly. I'll look it up in the dictionary. [_Takes
dictionary and turns pages._] Here it is, ma'am. Per--per--why, it
isn't in here. I guess they don't put in words that everybody knows. We
all know what personality means. It's what sells the goods.

MARGARET. I adore a strong, virile, masculine personality.

FENTON. I don't quite get you, madam.

MARGARET. The men I know have so much of the feminine in them.

FENTON. Oh, "Cissies"!

MARGARET [_flirtingly_]. They lack the magnetic forcefulness which I
like so much in you.

FENTON. I believe you are kidding me. Does that mean you like me?

MARGARET. That's rather an embarrassing question.

FENTON. You must or you wouldn't let me speak to you this way.

MARGARET [_archly_]. Never mind whether I like you. Tell me whether you
like me?

FENTON [_feeling more at home_]. Gee! I didn't get on to you at first.
Sure I like you.

MARGARET. Then we're going to be good friends.

FENTON. You just bet we are. Say, got a date for to-morrow evening?

MARGARET. No.

FENTON. How about the movies? There's a fine feature film at the Strand.
Theda Bara in "The Lonesome Vampire," five reels. They say it's got
"Gloria's Romance" beat a mile.

MARGARET. I don't know that I'd care to go there.

FENTON. How about a run down to Coney?

MARGARET. Coney! I've always wanted to do wild Pagan things.

FENTON. Say, you'll tell me your name, won't you?

MARGARET. Margaret Marshall.

FENTON. Do you mind if I call you Margie?

MARGARET. If you do, I must call you--

FENTON. Charley. Gee, I like the name of Margie. Some class to that.

MARGARET. I'm glad you like it.

FENTON [_moving nearer_]. And some class to you!

MARGARET [_coyly_]. So you really like me?

FENTON. You bet. Say, before I go, you've got to give me a kiss, Margie.

MARGARET. Well, I don't know. Aren't you rather "rushing" me?

FENTON. Say, you are a kidder.

    [_He draws her up from her chair, and kisses her warmly on the
    lips._]

MARGARET [_ecstatically_]. You have the true Greek spirit! [_They kiss
again._] If only Pommy would kiss me that way!

FENTON. Pommy? Who's Pommy?

MARGARET. Pommy is the man I live with.

FENTON. Your husband!

MARGARET. No, we just live together. You see, we don't believe in
marriage.

FENTON [_pushing her away in horror_]. I thought there was something
queer about all this. Does he live here?

MARGARET. Yes. [_Points to door._] He's in there now.

FENTON [_excitedly_]. Good night! I'm goin'.

    [_Looks for hat._]

MARGARET [_speaking with real anguish_]. You're surely not going just on
that account.

FENTON [_taking hat and bag_]. Isn't that enough?

MARGARET [_emotionally_]. Please don't go. Listen, I can't suppress my
feeling for you; I never do with anybody. I liked you the moment I saw
you, I want you as a friend, a good friend. You can't go now, just when
everything's about to begin.

FENTON [_severely_]. Fair's fair, Miss. If he's keeping you, you can't
be taking up with me at the same time. That puts the finish on it.

MARGARET. But he doesn't keep me. I keep myself.

FENTON. Wait a minute. You support yourself, and live with him of your
own free will. Then you've got no excuse for being immoral; 'tisn't like
you had to make your living at it. [_At door._] Good-by.

MARGARET. But I can explain everything.

FENTON. It's no use, Miss. Even though I am a salesman, I've got a sense
of honor. I sized you up as a married woman when I came in just now, or
I never would have made love to you at all.

MARGARET. Oh--wait! Supposing I should want to buy some more
dictionaries.

FENTON [_returning_]. You've got my card, Miss. The 'phone number is on
it. Bryant 4253. [_Sees Margaret hang her head._] Don't feel hurt, Miss.
You'll get over these queer ideas some day, and when you do, well,
you've got my number. So long, kid.

    [_Exit Fenton, door, center._]

MARGARET [_taking his card from table and placing it to her lips
soulfully_]. My Apollo, Bryant 4253!

PENDLETON. Did you get a good start with your scandal. [_Margaret hangs
her head._] It's no use; I'm convinced we're in a hopeless muddle.

MARGARET. I heartily agree with you.

PENDLETON. You've changed your mind very suddenly.

MARGARET. I have my reasons.

PENDLETON. The fact is, Margaret, that so long as we live together we're
public figures, with everybody else as our jury.

MARGARET. But lots of people read your books and respect us.

PENDLETON. The people that respect us are worse than the people that
don't.

MARGARET. If they wouldn't always be bothering about our morals!

PENDLETON. If we continue living together, we shall simply be giving up
our freedom to prove we are free.

MARGARET [_faltering_]. I suppose we ought to separate.

PENDLETON. I believe we should.

MARGARET. We'll have to give up the studio.

PENDLETON [_regretfully_]. Yes.

MARGARET. It's taken a long time to make the place homelike.

PENDLETON. We've been very comfortable here.

MARGARET. I shall miss you at meals.

PENDLETON. I shall have to start eating at clubs and restaurants again,
no more good home cooking.

MARGARET. We're kind of used to one another, aren't we?

PENDLETON. It isn't an easy matter to break, after five years.

MARGARET. And there are mighty few studios with as good a light as this;
I don't want to separate if you don't.

PENDLETON. But, Margaret. [_Piano starts playing wedding march._] There,
that confounded piano again. [_Seized with an idea._] Margaret, there's
another way out!

MARGARET [_with same idea_]. You mean, we ought to marry!

PENDLETON. Yes, marry, and do it at once. That'll end everything.

MARGARET. Let's do it right away and get it over with; I simply must
finish my Apollo.

PENDLETON. I'm going to buy you a new gown to get married in, a wedding
present from Baroness de Meauville's.

MARGARET. I don't know that I want a De Meauville gown.

PENDLETON. Please let me. I want to give you something to symbolize our
new life together.

MARGARET. Very well. And in return, I'll buy you a dictionary, so that I
won't have to keep on correcting your spelling.

    [_Exit Pendleton. Margaret goes to 'phone, and consults Fenton's
    card._]

MARGARET. Bryant 4253? Can I speak to Mr. Fenton? [_Enter Mrs. Abbey._]
Mrs. Abbey. What do you think? We're going to get married!

MRS. ABBEY. Well, bless my soul! That's right. You can take it from me,
ma'am, you'll find that respectability pays.

MARGARET [_at 'phone_]. Bryant 4253? [_Sweetly._] Is that Mr. Fenton?
[_Pause._] Hello, Charley!


  [_Curtain._]




ARIA DA CAPO

  A PLAY

  BY EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY


  Copyright, 1920, by Edna St. Vincent Millay.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS

    PIERROT.
    COLUMBINE.
    COTHURNUS [_masque of tragedy_].
    THYRSIS [_shepherd_].
    CORYDON [_shepherd_].


  First printed in "Reedy's Mirror," St. Louis. Application to produce
  this play should be made to Edna St. Vincent Millay, in care of the
  Provincetown Players, 133 Macdougal Street, New York.



ARIA DA CAPO

A PLAY BY EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY


    [SCENE: _A Stage. The curtain rises on a stage set for a
    Harlequinade, a merry black and white interior. Directly behind
    the footlights, and running parallel with them, is a long table,
    covered with a gay black and white cloth, on which is spread a
    banquet. At the opposite ends of this table, seated on delicate
    thin-legged chairs with high backs, are Pierrot and Columbine,
    dressed according to the tradition, excepting that Pierrot is in
    lilac, and Columbine in pink. They are dining._]


  COLU.           Pierrot, a macaroon! I cannot _live_
  Without a macaroon!

  PIER.                     My only love,
  You are _so_ intense.... It is Tuesday, Columbine?----
  I'll kiss you if it's Tuesday.

  COLU.                 It is Wednesday,
  If you must know.... Is this my artichoke,
  Or yours?

  PIER.         Ah, Columbine,--as if it mattered!
  Wednesday.... Will it be Tuesday, then, to-morrow,
  By any chance?

  COLU.           To-morrow will be--Pierrot,
  That isn't funny!

  PIER.         I thought it rather nice.
  Well, let us drink some wine and lose our heads
  And love each other.

  COLU.           Pierrot, don't you love
  Me now?

  PIER.           La, what a woman!--How should I know?
  Pour me some wine: I'll tell you presently.

  COLU. Pierrot, do you know, I think you drink too much.

  PIER. Yes, I dare say I do.... Or else too little.
  It's hard to tell. You see, I am always wanting
  A little more than what I have,--or else
  A little less. There's something wrong. My dear,
  How many fingers have you?

  COLU.                   La, indeed,
  How should I know?--It always takes me one hand
  To count the other with. It's too confusing.
  Why?

  PIER.           Why?--I am a student, Columbine;
  And search into all matters.

  COLU.                   La, indeed?--
  Count them yourself, then!

  PIER.             No. Or, rather, nay.
  'Tis of no consequence.... I am become
  A painter, suddenly,--and you impress me--
  Ah, yes!--six orange bull's-eyes, four green pin-wheels,
  And one magenta jelly-roll,--the title
  As follows: _Woman Taking In Cheese From Fire-Escape_.

  COLU. Well, I like that! So that is all I've meant
  To you!

  PIER.             Hush! All at once I am become
  A pianist. I will image you in sound,...
  On a new scale ... without tonality....
  _Vivace senza tempo senza tutto_....
  Title: _Uptown Express at Six O'Clock_.
  Pour me a drink.

  COLU.       Pierrot, you work too hard.
  You need a rest. Come on out into the garden,
  And sing me something sad.

  PIER.       Don't stand so near me!
  I am become a socialist. I love
  Humanity; but I hate people. Columbine,
  Put on your mittens, child; your hands are cold.

  COLU.         My hands are _not_ cold.

  PIER.         Oh, I am sure they are.
  And you must have a shawl to wrap about you,
  And sit by the fire.

  COLU.     Why, I'll do no such thing!
  I'm hot as a spoon in a tea-cup!

  PIER.                     Columbine,
  I'm a philanthropist. I know I am,
  Because I feel so restless. Do not scream,
  Or it will be the worse for you!

  COLU.                       Pierrot,
  My vinaigrette: I cannot _live_ without
  My vinaigrette!

  PIER.           My only love, you are
  _So_ fundamental!... How would you like to be
  An actress, Columbine?--I am become
  Your manager.

  COLU.     Why, Pierrot, _I_ can't act.

  PIER. Can't act! Can't act! La, listen to the woman!
  What's that to do with the price of furs?--You're blonde,
  Are you not?--You have no education, have you?--
  Can't act! You under-rate yourself, my dear!

  COLU.           Yes, I suppose I do.

  PIER.               As for the rest,
  I'll teach you how to cry, and how to die,
  And other little tricks; and the house will love you.
  You'll be a star by five o'clock.... That is,
  If you will let me pay for your apartment.

  COLU. _Let_ you?--well, that's a good one! Ha! Ha! Ha!
  But why?

  PIER.     But why?--well, as to that, my dear,
  I cannot say. It's just a matter of form.

  COLU.         Pierrot, I'm getting tired of caviar
  And peacocks' livers. Isn't there something else
  That people eat?--some humble vegetable,
  That grows in the ground?

  PIER.       Well, there are mushrooms.

  COLU.                       Mushrooms!
  That's so! I had forgotten ... mushrooms ... mushrooms....
  I cannot _live_ with.... How do you like this gown?

  PIER. Not much. I'm tired of gowns that have the waist-line
  About the waist, and the hem around the bottom,--
  And women with their breasts in front of them!--
  _Zut_ and _ehé_! Where does one go from here!

  COLU. Here's a persimmon, love. You always liked them.

  PIER.       I am become a critic; there is nothing I can enjoy....
    However, set it aside;
  I'll eat it between meals.

  COLU.           Pierrot, do you know,
  Sometimes I think you're making fun of me.

  PIER. My love, by yon black moon, you wrong us both.

  COLU.       There isn't a sign of a moon, Pierrot.

  PIER.             Of course not.
  There never was. "Moon's" just a word to swear by,
  "Mutton!"--now _there's_ a thing you can lay the hands on,
  And set the tooth in! Listen, Columbine:
  I always lied about the moon and you.
  Food is my only lust.

  COLU.             Well, eat it, then,
  For heaven's sake, and stop your silly noise!
  I haven't heard the clock tick for an hour.

  PIER. It's ticking all the same. If you were a fly,
  You would be dead by now. And if I were a parrot,
  I could be talking for a thousand years!

    [_Enters Cothurnus._]

  PIER. Hello, what's this, for God's sake?--What's the matter?
  Say, whadda you mean?--get off the stage, my friend,
  And pinch yourself,--you're walking in your sleep!

  COTH.                   I never sleep.

  PIER.         Well, anyhow, clear out.
  You don't belong on here. Wait for your own scene!
  Whadda you think this is,--a dress-rehearsal?

  COTH.     Sir, I am tired of waiting. I will wait
  No longer.

  PIER.           Well, but what are you going to do?
  The scene is set for me!

  COTH.                   True, sir; yet I
  Can play the scene.

  PIER.           Your scene is down for later!

  COTH.     That, too, is true, sir; but I play it now.

  PIER.       Oh, very well!--Anyway, I am tired
  Of black and white. At least, I think I am.
    [_Exit Columbine._]
  Yes, I am sure I am. I know what I'll do!--
  I'll go and strum the moon, that's what I'll do....
  Unless, perhaps, ... you never can tell ... I may be,
  You know, tired of the moon. Well, anyway,
  I'll go find Columbine.... And when I find her,
  I will address her thus: "_Ehé_ Pierrette!"--
  There's something in that.

    [_Exit Pierrot._]

  COTH.         You, Thyrsis! Corydon!
  Where are you?

  THYR.     Sir, we are in our dressing-room!

  COTH.     Come out and do the scene.

  CORY.         You are mocking us!--
  The scene is down for later.

  COTH.               That is true;
  But we will play it now. I am the scene.

    [_Seats himself on high place in back of stage. Enter Corydon and
    Thyrsis._]

  CORY.   Sir, we were counting on this little hour.
  We said, "Here is an hour,--in which to think
  A mighty thought, and sing a trifling song,
  And look at nothing."--And, behold! the hour,
  Even as we spoke, was over, and the act begun,
  Under our feet!

  THYR.         Sir, we are not in the fancy
  To play the play. We had thought to play it later.

  CORY.     Besides, this is the setting for a farce.
  Our scene requires a wall; we cannot build
  A wall of tissue-paper!

  THYR.                 We cannot act
  A tragedy with comic properties!

  COTH. Try it and see. I think you'll find you can.
  One wall is like another. And regarding
  The matter of your insufficient wood,
  The important thing is that you speak the lines,
  And make the gestures. Wherefore I shall remain
  Throughout, and hold the prompt-book. Are you ready?

  CORY.-THYR. [_sorrowfully_]. Sir, we are always ready.

  COTH.                   Play the play!

    [_Corydon and Thyrsis move the table and chairs to one side out of
    the way, and seat themselves in a half-reclining position on the
    floor, left of the center of the stage, propped up by crepe paper
    pillows and bolsters, in place of rocks._]

  THYR.       How gently in the silence, Corydon,
  Our sheep go up the bank. They crop a grass
  That's yellow where the sun is out, and black
  Where the clouds drag their shadows.
  Have you noticed
  How steadily, yet with what a slanting eye
  They graze?

  CORY.       As if they thought of other things.
  What say you, Thyrsis, do they only question
  Where next to pull?--Or do their far minds draw them
  Thus vaguely north of west and south of east?

  THYR. One cannot say.... The black lamb wears its burdocks
  As if they were a garland,--have you noticed?--
  Purple and white--and drinks the bitten grass
  As if it were a wine.

  CORY.               I've noticed that.
  What say you, Thyrsis, shall we make a song
  About a lamb that thought himself a shepherd?

  THYR. Why, yes!--that is, why,--no. (I have forgotten
  My line.)

  CORY. [_prompting_]. "I know a game worth two of that."

  THYR. Oh, yes.... I know a game worth two of that:
  Let's gather rocks, and build a wall between us;
  And say that over there belongs to me,
  And over here to you!

  CORY.             Why,--very well.
  And say you may not come upon my side
  Unless I say you may!

  THYR.               Nor you on mine!
  And if you should, 'twould be the worse for you!

    [_They weave a wall of colored crepe paper ribbons from the
    center front to the center back of the stage, fastening the
    ends to Columbine's chair in front and to Pierrot's chair in
    the back._]

  CORY. Now there's a wall a man may see across,
  But not attempt to scale.

  THYR.               An excellent wall.

  CORY.           Come, let us separate, and sit alone
  A little while, and lay a plot whereby
  We may outdo each other.

    [_They seat themselves on opposite sides of the wall._]

  PIER. [_off stage_].      Ehé Pierrette!

  COLU. [_off stage_]. My name is Columbine!
  Leave me alone!

  THYR. [_coming up to the wall_].
  Corydon, after all, and in spite of the fact
  I started it myself, I do not like this
  So very much. What is the sense of saying
  I do not want you on my side the wall?
  It is a silly game. I'd much prefer
  Making the little song you spoke of making,
  About the lamb, you know, that thought himself
  A shepherd!--what do you say?

    [_Pause._]

  CORY. [_at wall_].    (I have forgotten
  The line)

  COTH. [_prompting_]. "How do I know this isn't a trick"

  CORY. Oh, yes.... How do I know this isn't a trick
  To get upon my land?

  THYR.                     Oh, Corydon,
  You _know_ it's not a trick. I do not like
  The game, that's all. Come over here, or let me
  Come over there.

  CORY.             It is a clever trick
  To get upon my land.

    [_Seats himself as before._]

  THYR. Oh, very well! [_Seats himself as before_] [_To himself._]
          I think I never knew a sillier game.

  CORY. [_coming to wall_].
  Oh, Thyrsis, just a minute!--all the water
  Is on your side the wall, and the sheep are thirsty.
  I hadn't thought of that.

  THYR.                 Oh, hadn't you?

  CORY.           Why, what do you mean?

  THYR.         What do I mean?--I mean
  That I can play a game as well as you can.
  And if the pool is on my side, it's on
  My side, that's all.

  CORY.     You mean you'd let the sheep
  Go thirsty?

  THYR.       Well, they're not my sheep. My sheep
  Have water enough.

  CORY. _Your_ sheep! You are mad, to call them.
  Yours--mine--they are all one flock! Thyrsis, you can't mean
  To keep the water from them, just because
  They happened to be grazing over here
  Instead of over there, when we set the wall up?

  THYR. Oh, can't I?--wait and see!--and if you try
  To lead them over here, you'll wish you hadn't!

  CORY.         I wonder how it happens all the water
  _Is_ on your side.... I'll say you had an eye out
  For lots of little things, my innocent friend,
  When I said, "Let us make a song," and you said,
  "I know a game worth two of that!"

  COLU. [_off stage_].

  D'you know, I think you must be getting old,
  Or fat, or something,--stupid, anyway!--
  Can't you put on some other kind of collar?

  THYR.       You know as well as I do, Corydon,
  I never thought of anything of the kind.
  _Don't_ you?

  CORY.                         I _do_ not.

  THYR.                       Don't you?

  CORY.                 Oh, I suppose so.
  Thyrsis, let's drop this,--what do you say?--it's only
  A game, you know ... we seem to be forgetting
  It's only a game ... a pretty serious game
  It's getting to be, when one of us is willing
  To let the sheep go thirsty, for the sake of it.

  THYR.             I know it, Corydon.

    [_They reach out their arms to each other across the wall._]

  COTH. [_prompting_].    "But how do I know?"

  THYR. Oh, yes.... But how do I know this isn't a trick
  To water your sheep, and get the laugh on me?

  CORY. You can't know, that's the difficult thing about it,
  Of course,--you can't be sure. You have to take
  My word for it. And I know just how you feel.
  But one of us has to take a risk, or else,
  Why don't you see?--the game goes on forever--
  It's terrible, when you stop to think of it....
  Oh, Thyrsis, now for the first time I feel
  This wall is actually a wall, a thing
  Come up between us, shutting me away
  From you.... I do not know you any more!

  THYR. No, don't say that! Oh, Corydon, I'm willing
  To drop it all, if you will! Come on over
  And water your sheep! It is an ugly game.
  I hate it from the first.... How did it start?

  CORY. I do not know.... I do not know.... I think
  I am afraid of you!--you are a stranger!
  I never set eyes on you before! "Come over
  And water my sheep," indeed!--They'll be more thirsty
  Then they are now, before I bring them over
  Into your land, and have you mixing them up
  With yours, and calling them yours, and trying to keep them!

    [_Enter Columbine._]

  COLU. [_to Cothurnus_]. Glummy, I want my hat.

  THYR.                     Take it, and go.

  COLU.       Take it and go, indeed! Is it my hat,
  Or isn't it? Is this my scene, or not?
  Take it and go! Really, you know, you two
  Are awfully funny!

    [_Exit Columbine._]

  THYR.               Corydon, my friend,
  I'm going to leave you now, and whittle me
  A pipe, or sing a song, or go to sleep.
  When you have come to your senses, let me know.

    [_Goes back to where he has been sitting, lies down and sleeps._]

    [_Corydon, in going back to where he has been sitting, stumbles
    over bowl, of colored confetti and colored paper ribbons._]

  CORY. Why, what is this?--Red stones--and purple stones--
  And stones stuck full of gold!--The ground is full
  Of gold and colored stones!... I'm glad the wall
  Was up before I found them!--Otherwise,
  I should have had to share them. As it is,
  They all belong to me.... Unless--

    [_He goes to wall and digs up and down the length of it, to see if
    there are jewels on the other side._]

  None here--
  None here--none here--They all belong to me!

    [_Sits._]

  THYR. [_awakening_]. How curious! I thought the little black lamb
  Came up and licked my hair! I saw the wool
  About its neck as plain as anything!
  It must have been a dream. The little black lamb
  Is on the other side of the wall, I'm sure.

    [_Goes to wall and looks over. Corydon is seated on the ground,
    tossing the confetti up into the air and catching it._]

  Hello, what's that you've got there, Corydon?

  CORY. Jewels.

  THYR. Jewels?--And where did you ever get them?

  CORY.               Oh, over here.

  THYR.     You mean to say you found them,
  By digging around in the ground for them?

  CORY. [_unpleasantly_].   No, Thyrsis.
  By digging down for water for my sheep.

  THYR. Corydon, come to the wall a minute, will you?
  I want to talk to you.

  CORY.                   I haven't time.
  I'm making me a necklace of red stones.

  THYR. I'll give you all the water that you want,
  For one of those red stones,--if it's a good one.

  CORY. Water?--what for?--what do I want of water?

  THYR.               Why, for your sheep.

  CORY.             My sheep?--I'm not a shepherd!

  THYR.             Your sheep are dying of thirst.

  CORY.             Man, haven't I told you
  I can't be bothered with a few untidy
  Brown sheep all full of burdocks?--I'm a merchant,
  That's what I am!--And I set my mind to it,
  I dare say I could be an emperor!
  [_To himself_.] Wouldn't I be a fool to spend my time
  Watching a flock of sheep go up a hill,
  When I have these to play with--when I have these
  To think about?--I can't make up my mind
  Whether to buy a city, and have a thousand
  Beautiful girls to bathe me, and be happy
  Until I die, or build a bridge, and name it
  The Bridge of Corydon,--and be remembered
  After I'm dead.

  THYR.       Corydon, come to the wall,
  Won't you?--I want to tell you something.

  CORY.                         Hush!
  Be off! Be off! Go finish your nap, I tell you!

  THYR. Corydon, listen: If you don't want your sheep,
  Give them to me.

  CORY.     Be off. Go finish your nap.
  A red one--and a blue one--and a red one--
  And a purple one--give you my sheep, did you say?--
  Come, come! What do you take me for, a fool?
  I've a lot of thinking to do,--and while I'm thinking,
  The sheep might just as well be over here
  As over there.... A blue one--and a red one--

  THYR.               But they will die!

  CORY. And a green one--and a couple
  Of white ones, for a change.

  THYR.                   Maybe I have
  Some jewels on my side.

  CORY.         And another green one--
  Maybe, but I don't think so. You see, this rock
  Isn't so very wide. It stops before
  It gets to the wall. It seems to go quite deep,
  However.

  THYR. [_with hatred_]. I see.

  COLU. [_off stage_]. Look, Pierrot, there's the moon!

  PIER. [_off stage_]. Nonsense!

  THYR.                             I see.

  COLU. [_off stage_]. Sing me an old song, Pierrot,--
  Something I can remember.

  PIER. [_off stage_].     Columbine,
  Your mind is made of crumbs,--like an escallop
  Of oysters,--first a layer of crumbs, and then
  An oystery taste, and then a layer of crumbs.

  THYR. I find no jewels ... but I wonder what
  The root of this black weed would do to a man
  If he should taste it.... I have seen a sheep die,
  With half the stalk still drooling from its mouth.
  'Twould be a speedy remedy, I should think,
  For a festered pride and a feverish ambition.
  It has a curious root. I think I'll hack it
  In little pieces.... First I'll get me a drink;
  And then I'll hack that root in little pieces
  As small as dust, and see what the color is
  Inside. [_Goes to bowl on floor._]
         The pool is very clear. I see
  A shepherd standing on the brink, with a red cloak
  About him, and a black weed in his hand....
  'Tis I. [_Kneels and drinks._]

  CORY. [_Coming to wall_]. Hello, what are you doing, Thyrsis?

  THYR. Digging for gold.

  CORY.         I'll give you all the gold
  You want, if you'll give me a bowl of water.
  If you don't want too much, that is to say.

  THYR. Ho, so you've changed your mind?--It's different,
  Isn't it, when you want a drink yourself?

  CORY. Of course it is.

  THYR.       Well, let me see ... a bowl
  Of water,--come back in an hour, Corydon. I'm busy now.

  CORY. Oh, Thyrsis, give me a bowl
  Of water!--and I'll find the bowl with jewels,
  And bring it back!

  THYR.           Be off, I'm busy now.

    [_He catches sight of the weed, picks it up and looks at it,
    unseen by Corydon._]

  Wait!--Pick me out the finest stones you have....
  I'll bring you a drink of water presently.

  CORY. [_goes back and sits down, with the jewels before him_].

  A bowl of jewels is a lot of jewels.

  THYR. [_chopping up the weed_]. I wonder if it has a bitter taste?

  CORY. There's sure to be a stone or two among them
  I have grown fond of, pouring them from one hand
  Into the other.

  THYR.             I hope it doesn't taste
  Too bitter, just at first.

  CORY.                 A bowl of jewels
  Is far too many jewels to give away....
  And not get back again.

  THYR.                     I don't believe
  He'll notice. He's thirsty. He'll gulp it down
  And never notice.

  CORY.       There ought to be some way
  To get them back again.... I could give him a necklace,
  And snatch it back, after I'd drunk the water,
  I suppose ... why, as for that, of course, a _necklace_....

    [_He puts two or three of the colored tapes together and tries
    their strength by pulling them, after which he puts them around
    his neck and pulls them, gently, nodding to himself. He gets up
    and goes to the wall, with the colored tapes in his hands._

    _Thyrsis in the meantime has poured the powdered root--black
    confetti--into the pot which contains the flower and filled it up
    with wine from the punch-bowl on the floor. He comes to the wall
    at the same time, holding the bowl of poison._]

  THYR. Come and get your bowl of water, Corydon.

  CORY. Ah, very good!--and for such a gift as that
  I'll give you more than a bowl of unset stones.
  I'll give you three long necklaces, my friend.
  Come closer. Here they are.

    [_Puts the ribbons about Thyrsis' neck._]

  THYR. [_putting bowl to Corydon's mouth_]. I'll hold the bowl
  Until you've drunk it all.

  CORY.           Then hold it steady.
  For every drop you spill I'll have a stone back
  Out of this chain.

  THYR.         I shall not spill a drop.

    [_Corydon drinks, meanwhile beginning to strangle Thyrsis._]

  THYR. Don't pull the string so tight.

  CORY.             You're spilling the water.

  THYR. You've had enough--you've had enough--stop pulling
  The string so tight!

  CORY.   Why, that's not tight at all....
  How's this?

  THYR. [_drops bowl_]. You're strangling me! Oh, Corydon!
  It's only a game!--and you are strangling me!

  CORY. It's only a game, is it?--Yet I believe
  You've poisoned me in earnest!

    [_Writhes and pulls the strings tighter, winding them about
    Thyrsis' neck._]

  THYR.               Corydon! [_Dies._]

  CORY. You've poisoned me in earnest.... I feel so cold....
  So cold ... this is a very silly game....
  Why do we play it?--let's not play this game
  A minute more ... let's make a little song
  About a lamb.... I'm coming over the wall,
  No matter what you say,--I want to be near you....

    [_Groping his way, with arms wide before him, he strides through
    the frail papers of the wall without knowing it, and continues
    seeking for the wall straight across the stage._]

  Where is the wall?

    [_Gropes his way back, and stands very near Thyrsis without
    knowing it; he speaks slowly._]

                    There isn't any wall,
  I think.

    [_Takes a step forward, his foot touches Thyrsis' body, and he
    falls down beside him._]

        Thyrsis, where is your cloak?--just give me
  A little bit of your cloak!...

    [_Draws corner of Thyrsis' cloak over his shoulders, falls across
    Thyrsis' body, and dies._

    _Cothurnus closes the prompt-book with a bang, arises
    matter-of-factly, comes down stage, and places the table over the
    two bodies, drawing down the cover so that they are hidden from
    any actors on the stage, but visible to the audience, pushing in
    their feet and hands with his boot. He then turns his back to the
    audience, and claps his hands twice._]

  COTH. Strike the scene!

    [_Exit Cothurnus. Enter Pierrot and Columbine._]

  PIER. Don't puff so, Columbine!

  COLU.             Lord, what a mess
  This set is in! If there's one thing I hate
  Above everything else,--even more than getting my feet wet--
  It's clutter!--He might at least have left the scene
  The way he found it.... don't you say so, Pierrot?

    [_She picks up punch bowl. They arrange chairs as before at ends
    of table._]

  PIER. Well, I don't know. I think it rather diverting
  The way it is.
    [_Yawns, picks up confetti bowl._]
                           Shall we begin?

  COLU. [_screams_].          My God!
  What's that there under the table?

  PIER.                 It is the bodies
  Of the two shepherds from the other play.

  COLU. [_slowly_]. How curious to strangle him like that,
  With colored paper ribbons!

  PIER.                 Yes, and yet
  I dare say he is just as dead.
    [_Pause. Calls Cothurnus._]
  Come drag these bodies out of here! We can't
  Sit down and eat with two dead bodies lying
  Under the table!... The audience wouldn't stand for it!

  COTH. [_off stage_]. What makes you think so?--Pull down the
    tablecloth
  On the other play, and hide them from the house,
  And play the farce. The audience will forget.

  PIER. That's so. Give me a hand there, Columbine.

    [_Pierrot and Columbine pull down the table cover in such a way
    that the two bodies are hidden from the house, then merrily set
    their bowls back on the table, draw up their chairs, and begin the
    play exactly as before, speaking even more rapidly and
    artificially._]

  COLU. Pierrot, a macaroon,--I cannot _live_
  Without a macaroon!

  PIER.                 My only love,
  You are _so_ intense!... Is it Tuesday, Columbine?--
  I'll kiss you if it's Tuesday.

    [_Curtains begin to close slowly._]

  COLU.               It is Wednesday,
  If you must know.... Is this my artichoke,
  Or yours?

  PIER.       Ah, Columbine, as if it mattered!
  Wednesday.... Will it be Tuesday, then to-morrow,
  By any chance?


  [_Curtain._]




HELENA'S HUSBAND

  AN HISTORICAL COMEDY

  BY PHILIP MOELLER


  Copyright, 1915, by Philip Moeller.
  Copyright, 1916, by Doubleday, Page & Co.
  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    HELENA, _the Queen_.
    TSUMU, _a black woman, slave to Helena_.
    MENELAUS, _the King_.
    ANALYTIKOS, _the King's librarian_.
    PARIS, _a shepherd_.


  HELENA'S HUSBAND was first produced by the Washington Square Players,
  under the direction of Mr. Moeller, at the Bandbox Theatre, New York,
  on the night of October 4, 1915, with the following cast:

    HELENA [_Queen of Sparta_]      _Noel Haddon_.
    TSUMU [_the slave_]             _Helen Westley_.
    MENELAUS [_the King_]           _Frank Conroy_.
    ANALYTIKOS [_his librarian_]    _Walter Frankl_.
    PARIS [_a shepherd_]            _Harold Meltzer_.

  The scene was designed by Paul T. Frankl and the costumes by Robert
  Locker.


  Reprinted from "Five Somewhat Historical Plays" published by Alfred
  A. Knopf, by special permission of Mr. Moeller. The professional and
  amateur stage rights on this play are strictly reserved by the author.
  Applications for permission to produce the play should be made to Mr.
  Philip Moeller, care Alfred A. Knopf, 220 West 42nd Street, New York.



HELENA'S HUSBAND

AN HISTORICAL COMEDY BY PHILIP MOELLER


    [_SCENE is that archaeological mystery, a Greek interior. A door
    on the right leads to the King's library, one on the left to the
    apartment of the Queen. Back right is the main entrance leading to
    the palace. Next this, running the full length of the wall, is a
    window with a platform, built out over the main court. Beyond is a
    view of hills bright with lemon groves, and in the far distance
    shimmers the sea. On the wall near the Queen's room hangs an old
    shield rusty with disuse. A bust of Zeus stands on a pedestal
    against the right wall. There are low coffers about the room from
    which hang the ends of vivid colored robes. The scene is bathed in
    intense sunlight. Tsumu is massaging the Queen._]


HELENA. There's no doubt about it.

TSUMU. Analytikos says there is much doubt about all things.

HELENA. Never mind what he says. I envy you your complexion.

TSUMU [_falling prostrate before Helena_]. Whom the Queen envies should
beware.

HELENA [_annoyed_]. Get up, Tsumu. You make me nervous tumbling about
like that.

TSUMU [_still on floor_]. Why does the great Queen envy Tsumu?

HELENA. Get up, you silly. [_She kicks her._] I envy you because you can
run about and never worry about getting sunburnt.

TSUMU [_on her knees_]. The radiant beauty of the Queen is unspoilable.

HELENA. That's just what's worrying me, Tsumu. When beauty is so perfect
the slightest jar may mean a jolt. [_She goes over and looks at her
reflection in the shield._] I can't see myself as well as I would like
to. The King's shield is tarnished. Menelaus has been too long out of
battle.

TSUMU [_handing her a hand mirror_]. The Gods will keep Sparta free from
strife.

HELENA. I'll have you beaten if you assume that prophetic tone with me.
There's one thing I can't stand, and that's a know-all.

    [_Flinging the hand mirror to the floor._]

TSUMU [_in alarm_]. Gods grant you haven't bent it.

HELENA. These little mirrors are useless. His shield is the only thing
in which I can see myself full-length. If he only went to war, he'd have
to have it cleaned.

TSUMU [_putting the mirror on a table near the Queen_]. The King is a
lover of peace.

HELENA. The King is a lover of comfort. Have you noticed that he spends
more time than he used to in the library?

TSUMU. He is busy with questions of State.

HELENA. You know perfectly well that when anything's the matter with the
Government it's always straightened out at the other end of the palace.
Finish my shoulder. [_She examines her arm._] I doubt if there is a
finer skin than this in Sparta.

    [_Tsumu begins to massage the Queen's shoulder._]

HELENA [_taking up a mirror_]. That touch of deep carmine right here in
the center of my lips was quite an idea.

TSUMU [_busily pounding the Queen_]. An inspiration of the Gods!

HELENA. The Gods have nothing to do with it. I copied it from a low
woman I saw at the circus. I can't understand how these bad women have
such good ideas.

    [_Helen twists about._]

TSUMU. If your majesty doesn't sit still, I may pinch you.

HELENA [_boxing her ears_]. None of your tricks, you ebony fiend!

TSUMU [_crouching_]. Descendant of paradise, forgive me.

HELENA. If you bruise my perfect flesh, the King will kill you. My
beauty is his religion. He can sit for hours, as if at prayer, just
examining the arch of my foot. Tsumu, you may kiss my foot.

TSUMU [_prostrate_]. May the Gods make me worthy of your kindness!

HELENA. That's enough. Tsumu, are you married?

TSUMU [_getting up_]. I've been so busy having babies I never had time
to get married.

HELENA. It's a great disillusionment.

TSUMU [_agast_]. What!

HELENA. I'm not complaining. Moo Moo is the best of husbands, but
sometimes being adored too much is trying. [_She sighs deeply._] I think
I'll wear my heliotrope this afternoon.

    [_A trumpet sounds below in the courtyard. Tsumu goes to the
    window._]

TSUMU. They are changing the guards at the gates of the palace. It's
almost time for your bath.

    [_She begins scraping the massage ointment back into the box._]

HELENA. You're as careful with that ointment as Moo Moo is with me.

TSUMU. Precious things need precious guarding.

HELENA. It's very short-sighted on Moo Moo's part to send everybody to
the galleys who dares lift a head when I pass by--and all these
nice-looking soldiers! Why--the only men I ever see besides Moo Moo are
Analytikos and a lot of useless eunuchs.

TSUMU. Oh, those eunuchs!

HELENA [_as she sits dreaming_]. I wish, I wish--

    [_She stops short._]

TSUMU. You have but to speak your desire to the King.

HELENA [_shocked_]. Tsumu! How can you think of such a thing? I'm not a
bad woman.

TSUMU. He would die for you.

HELENA [_relieved_]. Ah! Do you think so, Tsumu?

TSUMU. All Sparta knows that His Majesty is a lover of peace, and yet he
would rush into battle to save you.

HELENA. I should love to have men fighting for me.

TSUMU [_in high alarm_]. May Zeus turn a deaf ear to your voice.

HELENA. Don't be impertinent, Tsumu. I've got to have some sort of
amusement.

TSUMU. You've only to wait till next week, and you can see another of
the priestesses sacrificed to Diana.

HELENA. That doesn't interest me any longer. The girls are positively
beginning to like it. No! My mind is set on war.

TSUMU [_terrified_]. I have five fathers of my children to lose.

HELENA. War, or--or--

TSUMU [_hopefully_]. Have I been so long your slave that I no longer
know your wish?

HELENA [_very simply_]. Well, I should like to have a lover.

TSUMU [_springs up and rushes over in horror to draw the curtains across
the door of the library. All of a tremble_]. Gods grant they didn't hear
you.

HELENA. Don't be alarmed, Tsumu. Analytikos is over eighty.

    [_She bursts into a loud peal of laughter and Menelaus rushes into
    the room._]

MENELAUS [_in high irritation_]. I wish you wouldn't make so much noise
in here. A King might at least expect quiet in his own palace.

HELENA. Tsumu, see if my bath is ready. [_Tsumu exits._] You used not
speak like that to me, Moo Moo.

MENELAUS [_in a temper_]. How many times must I tell you that my name is
Menelaus and that it isn't "Moo Moo"?

HELENA [_sweetly_]. I'll never do it again, Moo Moo. [_She giggles._]

MENELAUS. Your laugh gets on my nerves. It's louder than it used to be.

HELENA. If you wish it, I'll never, never laugh again.

MENELAUS. You've promised that too often.

HELENA [_sadly_]. Things are not as they used to be.

MENELAUS. Are you going to start that again?

HELENA [_with a tinge of melancholy_]. I suppose you'd like me to be
still and sad.

MENELAUS [_bitterly_]. Is it too much to hope that you might be still
and happy?

HELENA [_speaking very quickly and tragically_]. Don't treat me cruelly,
Moo Moo. You don't understand me. No man ever really understands a
woman. There are terrible depths to my nature. I had a long talk with
Dr. Æsculapius only last week, and he told me I'm too introspective.
It's the curse of us emotional women. I'm really quite worried, but much
you care, much you care. [_A note of tears comes into her voice._] I'm
sure you don't love me any more, Moo Moo. No! No! Don't answer me! If
you did you couldn't speak to me the way you do. I've never wronged you
in deed or in thought. No, never--never. I've given up my hopes and
aspirations, because I knew you wanted me around you. And now,
NOW--[_She can contain the tears no longer._] Because I have neglected
my beauty and because I am old and ugly, you regret that Ulysses or
Agamemnon didn't marry me when you all wanted me, and I know you curse
the day you ever saw me.

    [_She is breathless._]

MENELAUS [_fuming_]. Well! Have you done?

HELENA. No. I could say a great deal more, but I'm not a talkative
woman.

    [_Analytikos comes in from the library._]

ANALYTIKOS. Your Majesty, are we to read no longer to-day?

HELENA. I have something to say to the King.

    [_Analytikos goes toward the library. Menelaus anxiously stops
    him._]

MENELAUS. No. Stay here. You are a wise man and well understand the
wisdom of the Queen.

ANALYTIKOS [_bowing to Helena_]. Helena is wise as she is beautiful.

MENELAUS. She is attempting to prove to me in a thousand words that
she's a silent woman.

ANALYTIKOS. Women are seldom silent. [_Helen resents this._] Their
beauty is forever speaking for them.

HELENA. The years have, indeed, taught you wisdom.

    [_Tsumu enters._]

TSUMU. The almond water awaits your majesty.

HELENA. I hope you haven't forgotten the chiropodist.

TSUMU. He has been commanded but he's always late. He's so busy.

HELENA [_in a purring tone to Menelaus_]. Moo Moo.

    [_Menelaus, bored, turns away._]

HELENA [_to Tsumu_]. I think after all I'll wear my Sicily blue.

    [_She and Tsumu go into the Queen's apartment._]

ANALYTIKOS. Shall we go back to the library?

MENELAUS. My mind is unhinged again--that woman with her endless
protestations.

ANALYTIKOS. I am sorry the poets no longer divert you.

MENELAUS. A little poetry is always too much.

ANALYTIKOS. To-morrow we will try the historians.

MENELAUS. No! Not the historians. I want the truth for a change.

ANALYTIKOS. The truth!

MENELAUS. Where in books can I find escape from the grim reality of
being hitched for life to such a wife? Bah!

ANALYTIKOS. Philosophy teaches--

MENELAUS. Why have the Gods made woman necessary to man, and made them
fools?

ANALYTIKOS. For seventy years I have been resolving the problem of woman
and even at my age--

MENELAUS. Give it up, old man. The answer is--don't.

ANALYTIKOS. Such endless variety, and yet--

MENELAUS [_with the conviction of finality_]. There are only two sorts
of women! Those who are failures and those who realize it.

ANALYTIKOS. Is not Penelope, the model wife of your cousin Ulysses, an
exception?

MENELAUS. Duty is the refuge of the unbeautiful. She is as commonplace
as she is ugly. [_And then with deep bitterness._] Why didn't _he_ marry
Helen when we all wanted her? He was too wise for that. He is the only
man I've ever known who seems able to direct destiny.

ANALYTIKOS. You should not blame the Gods for a lack of will.

MENELAUS [_shouting_]. Will! Heaven knows I do not lack the will to rid
myself of this painted puppet, but where is the instrument ready to my
hand?

    [_At this moment a Shepherd of Apollonian beauty leaps across the
    rail of the balcony and bounds into the room. Menelaus and
    Analytikos start back in amazement._]

ANALYTIKOS. Who are you?

PARIS. An adventurer.

ANALYTIKOS. Then you have reached the end of your story. In a moment you
will die.

PARIS. I have no faith in prophets.

ANALYTIKOS. The soldiers of the King will give you faith. Don't you know
that it means death for any man to enter the apartments of the Queen?

PARIS [_looking from one to the other_]. Oh! So you're a couple of
eunuchs.

    [_Though nearly eighty this is too much for Analytikos to bear. He
    rushes to call the guard, but Menelaus stops him._]

PARIS [_to Analytikos_]. Thanks.

ANALYTIKOS. You thank me for telling you your doom?

PARIS. No--for convincing me that I'm where I want to be. It's taken me
a long while, but I knew I'd get here. [_And then very intimately to
Menelaus._] Where's the Queen?

MENELAUS. Where do you come from?

PARIS. From the hills. I had come down into the market-place to sell my
sheep. I had my hood filled with apples. They were golden-red like a
thousand sunsets.

MENELAUS [_annoyed_]. You might skip those bucolic details.

PARIS. At the fair I met three ancient gypsies.

MENELAUS. What have they to do with you coming here?

PARIS. You don't seem very patient. Can't I tell my story in my own way?
They asked me for the apple I was eating and I asked them what they'd
give for it.

MENELAUS. I'm not interested in market quotations.

PARIS. You take everything so literally. I'm sure you're easily bored.

MENELAUS [_with meaning_]. I am.

PARIS [_going on cheerfully_]. The first was to give me all the money
she could beg, and the second was to tell me all the truth she could
learn by listening, and the third promised me a pretty girl. So I
chose--

    [_He hesitates._]

ANALYTIKOS. You cannot escape by spinning out your tale.

PARIS. Death is the end of one story and the beginning of another.

MENELAUS. Well! Well! Come to the point. Which did you choose?

PARIS [_smiling_]. Well, you see I'd been in the hills for a long while,
so I picked the girl.

ANALYTIKOS. It would have been better for you if you had chosen wisdom.

PARIS. I knew you'd say that.

ANALYTIKOS. I have spoken truly. In a moment you will die.

PARIS. It is because the old have forgotten life that they preach
wisdom.

MENELAUS. So you chose the girl? Well, go on.

PARIS. This made the other cronies angry, and when I tossed her the
apple one of the others yelped at me: "You may as well seek the Queen of
Sparta: she is the fairest of women." And as I turned away I heard their
laughter, but the words had set my heart aflame and though it cost me my
life, I'll follow the adventure.

ANALYTIKOS [_scandalized_]. Haven't we heard enough of this?

MENELAUS [_deeply_]. No! I want to hear how the story ends. It may amuse
the King.

    [_He makes a sign to Analytikos._]

PARIS. And on the ship at night I looked long at the stars and dreamed
of possessing Helen.

    [_Analytikos makes an involuntary movement toward the balcony, but
    Menelaus stops him._]

PARIS. Desire has been my guiding Mercury; the Fates are with me, and
here I am.

ANALYTIKOS. The wrath of the King will show you no mercy.

PARIS [_nonchalantly_]. I'm not afraid of the King. He's fat, and--a
fool.

ANALYTIKOS. Shall I call the guards?

    [_Menelaus stops him._]

MENELAUS [_very significantly_]. So you would give your life for a
glimpse of the Queen?

PARIS [_swiftly_]. Yes! My immortal soul, and if the fables tell the
truth, the sight will be worth the forfeit.

MENELAUS [_suddenly jumping up_]. It shall be as you wish!

PARIS [_buoyantly_]. Venus has smiled on me.

MENELAUS. In there beyond the library you will find a room with a bath.
Wait there till I call you.

PARIS. Is this some trick to catch me?

MENELAUS. A Spartan cannot lie.

PARIS. What will happen to you if the King hears of this?

MENELAUS. I will answer for the king. Go.

    [_Paris exits into the library._]

ANALYTIKOS [_rubbing his hands_]. Shall I order the boiling oil?

MENELAUS [_surprised_]. Oil?

ANALYTIKOS. Now that he is being cleaned for the sacrifice.

MENELAUS. His torture will be greater than being boiled alive.

ANALYTIKOS [_eagerly_]. You'll have him hurled from the wall of the
palace to a forest of waiting spears below?

MENELAUS. None is so blind as he who sees too much.

ANALYTIKOS. Your majesty is subtle in his cruelty.

MENELAUS. Haven't the years taught you the cheapness of revenge?

ANALYTIKOS [_mystified_]. You do not intend to alter destiny.

MENELAUS. Never before has destiny been so clear to me.

ANALYTIKOS. Then the boy must die.

MENELAUS [_with slow determination_]. No! He has been sent by the Gods
to save me!

ANALYTIKOS. Your majesty!

    [_He is trembling with apprehension._]

MENELAUS [_with unbudgeable conviction_]. Helena must elope with him!

ANALYTIKOS [_falling into a seat_]. Ye Gods!

MENELAUS [_quietly_]. I couldn't divorce the Queen. That would set a bad
example.

ANALYTIKOS. Yes, very.

MENELAUS. I couldn't desert her. That would be beneath my honor.

ANALYTIKOS [_deeply_]. Was there no other way?

MENELAUS [_pompously_]. The King can do no wrong, and besides I hate the
smell of blood. Are you a prophet as well as a scholar? Will she go?

ANALYTIKOS. To-night I will read the stars.

MENELAUS [_meaningfully_]. By to-night I'll not need you to tell me.
[_Analytikos sits deep in thought._] Well?

ANALYTIKOS. Ethics cite no precedent.

MENELAUS. Do you mean to say I'm not justified?

ANALYTIKOS [_cogitating_]. Who can establish the punctilious ratio
between necessity and desire?

MENELAUS [_beginning to fume_]. This is no time for language. Just put
yourself in my place.

ANALYTIKOS. Being you, how can I judge as I?

MENELAUS [_losing control_]. May you choke on your dialectics! Zeus
himself could have stood it no longer.

ANALYTIKOS. Have you given her soul a chance to grow?

MENELAUS. Her soul, indeed! It's shut in her rouge pot. [_He has been
strutting about. Suddenly he sits down crushing a roll of papyrus. He
takes it up and in utter disgust reads._] "The perfect hip, its
development and permanence." Bah! [_He flings it to the floor._] I've
done what I had to do, and Gods grant the bait may be sweet enough to
catch the Queen.

ANALYTIKOS. If you had diverted yourself with a war or two you might
have forgotten your troubles at home.

MENELAUS [_frightened_]. I detest dissension of any kind--my dream was
perpetual peace in comfortable domesticity with a womanly woman to warm
my sandals.

ANALYTIKOS. Is not the Queen--?

MENELAUS. No! No! The whole world is but her mirror. And I'm expected to
face that woman every morning at breakfast for the rest of my life, and
by Venus that's more than even a King can bear!

ANALYTIKOS. Even a King cannot alter destiny. I warn you, whom the Gods
have joined together--

MENELAUS [_in an outburst_]. Is for man to break asunder!

ANALYTIKOS [_deeply shocked_]. You talk like an atheist.

MENELAUS. I never allow religion to interfere with life. Go call the
victim and see that he be left alone with the Queen.

    [_Menelaus exits and Analytikos goes over to the door of the
    library and summons Paris, who enters clad in a gorgeous robe._]

PARIS. I found this in there. It looks rather well, doesn't it? Ah! So
you're alone. I suppose that stupid friend of yours has gone to tell the
King. When do I see the Queen?

ANALYTIKOS. At once.

    [_He goes to the door of the Queen's apartment and claps his hand.
    Tsumu enters and at the sight of her Paris recoils the full length
    of the room._]

PARIS. I thought the Queen was a blonde!

ANALYTIKOS. Tell Her Majesty a stranger awaits her here.

    [_Tsumu exits, her eyes wide on Paris._]

You should thank the Gods for this moment.

PARIS [_his eyes on the door_]. You do it for me. I can never remember
all their names.

    [_Helena enters clad in her Sicily blue, crowned with a garland of
    golden flowers. She and Paris stand riveted, looking at each
    other. Their attitude might be described as fantastic. Analytikos
    watches them for a moment and then with hands and head lifted to
    heaven he goes into the library._]

PARIS [_quivering with emotion_]. I have the most strange sensation of
having seen you before. Something I can't explain--

HELENA [_quite practically_]. Please don't bother about all sorts of
fine distinctions. Under the influence of Analytikos and my husband,
life has become a mess of indecision. I'm a simple, direct woman and I
expect you to say just what you think.

PARIS. Do you? Very well, then--[_He comes a step nearer to her._] Fate
is impelling me toward you.

HELENA. Yes. That's much better. So you're a fatalist. It's very Greek.
I don't see what our dramatists would do without it.

PARIS. In my country there are no dramatists. We are too busy with
reality.

HELENA. Your people must be uncivilized barbarians.

PARIS. My people are a genuine people. There is but one thing we
worship.

HELENA. Don't tell me it's money.

PARIS. It's--

HELENA. Analytikos says if there weren't any money, there wouldn't be
any of those ridiculous socialists.

PARIS. It isn't money. It's sincerity.

HELENA. I, too, believe in sincerity. It's the loveliest thing in the
world.

PARIS. And the most dangerous.

HELENA. The truth is never dangerous.

PARIS. Except when told.

HELENA [_making room on the couch for him to sit next to her_]. You
mustn't say wicked things to me.

PARIS. Can your theories survive a test?

HELENA [_beautifully_]. Truth is eternal and survives all tests.

PARIS. No. Perhaps, after all, your soul is not ready for the supremest
heights.

HELENA. Do you mean to say I'm not religious? Religion teaches the
meaning of love.

PARIS. Has it taught you to love your husband?

HELENA [_starting up and immediately sitting down again_]. How dare you
speak to me like that?

PARIS. You see. I was right.

    [_He goes toward the balcony._]

HELENA [_stopping him_]. Whatever made you think so?

PARIS. I've heard people talk of the King. You could never love a man
like that.

HELENA [_beautifully_]. A woman's first duty is to love her husband.

PARIS. There is a higher right than duty.

HELENA [_with conviction_]. Right is right.

PARIS [_with admiration_]. The world has libeled you.

HELENA. Me! The Queen?

PARIS. You are as wise as you are beautiful.

HELENA [_smiling coyly_]. Why, you hardly know me.

PARIS. I know you! I, better than all men.

HELENA. You?

PARIS [_rapturously_]. Human law has given you to Menelaus, but
divine law makes you mine.

HELENA [_in amazement_]. What!

PARIS. I alone appreciate your beauty. I alone can reach your soul.

HELENA. Ah!

PARIS. You hate your husband!

HELENA [_drawing back_]. Why do you look at me like that?

PARIS. To see if there's one woman in the world who dares tell the
truth.

HELENA. My husband doesn't understand me.

PARIS [_with conviction_]. I knew you detested him.

HELENA. He never listens to my aspirations.

PARIS. Egoist.

HELENA [_assuming an irresistible pose_]. I'm tired of being only
lovely. He doesn't realize the meaning of spiritual intercourse, of soul
communion.

PARIS. Fool!

HELENA. You dare call Moo Moo a fool?

PARIS. Has he not been too blind to see that your soul outshines your
beauty? [_Then, very dramatically._] You're stifling!

HELENA [_clearing her throat_]. I--I--

PARIS. He has made you sit upon your wings. [_Helena, jumping up, shifts
her position._] You are groping in the darkness.

HELENA. Don't be silly. It's very light in here.

PARIS [_undisturbed_]. You are stumbling, and I have come to lead you.

    [_He steps toward her._]

HELENA. Stop right there! [_Paris stops._] No man but the King can come
within ten feet of me. It's a court tradition.

PARIS. Necessity knows no tradition. [_He falls on his knees before
her._] I shall come close to you, though the flame of your beauty
consume me.

HELENA. You'd better be careful what you say to me. Remember I'm the
Queen.

PARIS. No man weighs his words who has but a moment to live.

HELENA. You said that exactly like an actor. [_He leans very close to
her._] What are you doing now?

PARIS. I am looking into you. You are the clear glass in which I read
the secret of the universe.

HELENA. The secret of the universe. Ah! Perhaps you could understand me.

PARIS. First you must understand yourself.

HELENA [_instinctively taking up a mirror_]. How?

PARIS. You must break with all this prose. [_With an unconscious gesture
he sweeps a tray of toilet articles from the table. Helena emits a
little shriek._]

HELENA. The ointment!

PARIS [_rushing to the window and pointing to the distance_]. And climb
to infinite poesie!

HELENA [_catching his enthusiasm, says very blandly_]. There is nothing
in the world like poetry.

PARIS [_lyrically_]. Have you ever heard the poignant breathing of the
stars?

HELENA. No. I don't believe in astrology.

PARIS. Have you ever smelt the powdery mists of the sun?

HELENA. I should sneeze myself to death.

PARIS. Have you ever listened to the sapphire soul of the sea?

HELENA. Has the sea a soul? But please don't stop talking. You do it so
beautifully.

PARIS. Deeds are sweeter than words. Shall we go hand in hand to meet
eternity?

HELENA [_not comprehending him_]. That's very pretty. Say it again.

PARIS [_passionately_]. There's but a moment of life left me. I shall
stifle it in ecstasy. Helena, Helena, I adore you!

HELENA [_jumping up in high surprise_]. You're not making love to me,
you naughty boy?

PARIS. Helena.

HELENA. You've spoken to me so little, and already you dare to do that.

PARIS [_impetuously_]. I am a lover of life. I skip the inessentials.

HELENA. Remember who I am.

PARIS. I have not forgotten, Daughter of Heaven. [_Suddenly he leaps to
his feet._] Listen!

HELENA. Shhh! That's the King and Analytikos in the library.

PARIS. No! No! Don't you hear the flutter of wings?

HELENA. Wings?

PARIS [_ecstatically_]. Venus, mother of Love!

HELENA [_alarmed_]. What is it?

PARIS. She has sent her messenger. I hear the patter of little feet.

HELENA. Those little feet are the soldiers below in the courtyard.

    [_A trumpet sounds._]

PARIS [_the truth of the situation breaking through his emotion_]. In a
moment I shall be killed.

HELENA. Killed?

PARIS. Save me and save yourself!

HELENA. Myself?

PARIS. I shall rescue you and lead you on to life.

HELENA. No one has even spoken to me like that before.

PARIS. This is the first time your ears have heard the truth.

HELENA. Was it of you I've been dreaming?

PARIS. Your dream was but your unrealized desire.

HELENA. Menelaus has never made me feel like this. [_And then with a
sudden shriek._] Oh! I'm a wicked woman!

PARIS. No! No!

HELENA. For years I've been living with a man I didn't love.

PARIS. Yes! Yes!

HELENA. I'm lost!

PARIS [_at a loss_]. No! Yes! Yes! No!

HELENA. It was a profanation of the most holy.

PARIS. The holiest awaits you, Helena! Our love will lighten the
Plutonian realms.

HELENA. Menelaus never spoke to me like that.

PARIS. 'Tis but the first whisper of my adoration.

HELENA. I can't face him every morning at breakfast for the rest of my
life. That's even more than a Queen can bear.

PARIS. I am waiting to release you.

HELENA. I've stood it for seven years.

PARIS. I've been coming to you since the beginning of time.

HELENA. There is something urging me to go with you, something I do not
understand.

PARIS. Quick! There is but a moment left us.

    [_He takes her rapturously in his arms. There is a passionate
    embrace in the midst of which Tsumu enters._]

TSUMU. The chiropodist has come.

HELENA. Bring me my outer garment and my purse.

    [_Tsumu exits, her eyes wide on Paris._]

PARIS. Helena! Helena!

    [_Helena looks about her and takes up the papyrus that Menelaus
    has flung to the floor._]

HELENA. A last word to the King. [_She looks at the papyrus._] No, this
won't do; I shall have to take this with me.

PARIS. What is it?

HELENA. Maskanda's discourse on the hip.

    [_A trumpet sounds below in the courtyard._]

PARIS [_excitedly_]. Leave it--or your hip may cost me my head. We
haven't a minute to spare. Hurry! Hurry!

    [_Helena takes up an eyebrow pencil and writes on the back of the
    papyrus. She looks for a place to put it and seeing the shield she
    smears it with some of the ointment and sticks the papyrus to
    it._]

PARIS [_watching her in ecstasy_]. You are the fairest of all fair women
and your name will blaze as a symbol throughout eternity.

    [_Tsumu enters with the purse and the Queen's outer robe._]

HELENA [_tossing the purse to Paris_]. Here, we may need this.

PARIS [_throwing it back to Tsumu_]. This for your silence, daughter of
darkness. A prince has no need of purses.

TSUMU [_looking at him_]. A prince!

HELENA [_gloriously_]. My prince of poetry. My deliverer!

PARIS [_divinely_]. My queen of love!

    [_They go out, Tsumu looking after them in speechless amazement.
    Suddenly she sees the papyrus on the shield, runs over and reads
    it and then rushes to the door of the library._]

TSUMU [_calling_]. Analytikos.

    [_She hides the purse in her bosom. Analytikos enters, scroll in
    hand._]

ANALYTIKOS. Has the Queen summoned me?

TSUMU [_mysteriously_]. A terrible thing has happened.

ANALYTIKOS. What's the matter?

TSUMU. Where's the King?

ANALYTIKOS. In the library.

TSUMU. I have news more precious than the gold of Midas.

ANALYTIKOS [_giving her a purse_]. Well! What is it?

TSUMU [_speaking very dramatically and watching the effect of her
words_]. The Queen has deserted Menelaus.

ANALYTIKOS [_receiving the shock philosophically_]. Swift are the ways
of Nature. The Gods have smiled upon him.

TSUMU. The Gods have forsaken the King to smile upon a prince.

ANALYTIKOS. What?

TSUMU. He was a prince.

ANALYTIKOS [_apprehensively_]. Why do you say that?

TSUMU [_clutching her bosom_]. I have a good reason to know. [_There is
a sound of voices below in the courtyard. Menelaus rushes in
expectantly. Tsumu falls prostrate before him._] Oh, King, in thy
bottomless agony blame not a blameless negress. The Queen has fled!

MENELAUS [_in his delight forgetting himself and flinging her a purse_].
Is it true?

TSUMU. Woe! Woe is me!

MENELAUS [_storming_]. Out of my sight, you eyeless Argus!

ANALYTIKOS [_to Tsumu_]. Quick, send a messenger. Find out who he was.

    [_Tsumu sticks the third purse in her bosom and runs out._]

MENELAUS [_with radiant happiness, kneeling before the bust of Zeus_].
Ye Gods, I thank ye. Peace and a happy life at last.

    [_The shouts in the courtyard grow louder._]

ANALYTIKOS. The news has spread through the palace.

MENELAUS [_in trepidation, springing up_]. No one would dare stop the
progress of the Queen.

TSUMU [_rushes in and prostrates herself before the King_]. Woe is me!
They have gone by the road to the harbor.

MENELAUS [_anxiously_]. Yes! Yes!

TSUMU. By the King's orders no man has dared gaze upon Her Majesty. They
all fell prostrate before her.

MENELAUS. Good! Good! [_Attempting to cover his delight._] Go! Go! You
garrulous dog.

    [_Tsumu gets up and points to shield. Analytikos and the King look
    toward it. Analytikos tears off the papyrus and brings it to
    Menelaus. Tsumu, watching them, exits._]

MENELAUS [_reading_]. "I am not a bad woman. I did what I had to do."
How Greek to blame fate for what one wants to do.

    [_Tsumu again comes tumbling in._]

TSUMU [_again prostrate before the King_]. A rumor flies through the
city. He--he--

ANALYTIKOS [_anxiously_]. Well? Well?

TSUMU. He--he--

MENELAUS [_furiously to Analytikos_]. Rid me of this croaking raven.

TSUMU. Evil has fallen on Sparta. He--

ANALYTIKOS. Yes--yes--

MENELAUS [_in a rage_]. Out of my sight, perfidious Nubian.

    [_Sounds of confusion in the courtyard. Suddenly she springs to
    her feet and yells at the top of her voice._]

TSUMU. He was Paris, Prince of Troy!

    [_They all start back. Analytikos stumbles into a seat. Menelaus
    turns pale. Tsumu leers like a black Nemesis._]

ANALYTIKOS [_very ominously_]. Who can read the secret of the Fates?

MENELAUS [_frightened_]. What do you mean?

ANALYTIKOS. He is the son of Priam, King of Troy.

TSUMU [_adding fuel_]. And of Hecuba, Queen of the Trojans.

    [_She rushes out to spread the news._]

ANALYTIKOS. That makes the matter international.

MENELAUS [_quickly_]. But we have treaties with Troy.

ANALYTIKOS. Circumstances alter treaties. They will mean nothing.

MENELAUS. Nothing?

ANALYTIKOS. No more than a scrap of papyrus. Sparta will fight to regain
her Queen.

MENELAUS. But I don't want her back.

ANALYTIKOS. Can you tell that to Sparta? Remember, the King can do no
wrong. Last night I dreamed of war.

MENELAUS. No! No! Don't say that. After the scandal I can't be expected
to fight to get her back.

ANALYTIKOS. Sparta will see with the eyes of chivalry.

MENELAUS [_fuming_]. But I don't believe in war.

ANALYTIKOS [_still obdurate_]. Have you forgotten the oath pledged of
old, with Ulysses and Agamemnon? They have sworn, if ever the time came,
to fight and defend the Queen.

MENELAUS [_bitterly_]. I didn't think of the triple alliance.

ANALYTIKOS. Can Sparta ask less of her King?

MENELAUS. Let's hear the other side. We can perhaps arbitrate. Peace at
any price.

ANALYTIKOS. Some bargains are too cheap.

MENELAUS [_hopelessly_]. But I am a pacifist.

ANALYTIKOS. You are Menelaus of Sparta, and Sparta's a nation of
soldiers.

MENELAUS [_desperately_]. I am too proud to fight!

ANALYTIKOS. Here, put on your shield. [_A great clamor comes up from the
courtyard, Analytikos steps out on the balcony and is greeted with
shouts of "The King! The King!" Addressing the crowd._] People of
Sparta, this calamity has been forced upon us. [_Menelaus winces._] We
are a peaceful people. But thanks to our unparalleled efficiency, the
military system of Sparta is the most powerful in all Greece and we can
mobilize in half an hour.

    [_Loud acclaims from the people. Menelaus, the papyrus still in
    hand, crawls over and attempts to stop Analytikos._]

ANALYTIKOS [_not noticing him_]. In the midst of connubial and communal
peace the thunderbolt has fallen on the King. [_Menelaus tugs at
Analytikos' robe._] Broken in spirit as he is, he is already pawing the
ground like a battle steed. Never will we lay down our arms! We and
Jupiter! [_Cheers._] Never until the Queen is restored to Menelaus.
Never, even if it takes ten years. [_Menelaus squirms. A loud cheer._]
Even now the King is buckling on his shield. [_More cheers. Analytikos
steps farther forward and then with bursting eloquence._] One hate we
have and one alone! [_Yells from below._]

  Hate by water and hate by land,
  Hate of the head and hate of the hand,
  Hate of Paris and hate of Troy
  That has broken the Queen for a moment's toy.

    [_The yells grow fiercer._]

  Zeus' thunder will shatter the Trojan throne.
  We have one hate and one alone!

    [_Menelaus sits on the floor dejectedly looking at the papyrus. A
    thunder of voices from the people._]

  We have one hate and one alone. Troy! Troy!

    [_Helmets and swords are thrown into the air. The cheers grow
    tumultuous, trumpets are blown, and the_


  _Curtain falls._]




THE SHADOWED STAR

  BY MARY MACMILLAN


  Copyright, 1913, by Stewart & Kidd Company.
  All rights reserved.


  CAST

    A WOMAN, _the mother_.
    AN OLD WOMAN, _the grandmother_.
    TWO GIRLS, _the daughters_.
    A MESSENGER BOY.
    A NEIGHBOR.
    ANOTHER NEIGHBOR.


  THE SHADOWED STAR is reprinted from "Short Plays" by Mary MacMillan by
  permission of Messrs. Stewart & Kidd Company, Cincinnati, Ohio. The
  acting rights of this play are reserved by the author. Address all
  correspondence to the author in regard to production.



THE SHADOWED STAR

BY MARY MACMILLAN


    [_A very bare room in a tenement house, uncarpeted, the boards
    being much worn, and from the walls the bluish whitewash has
    scaled away; in the front on one side is a cooking-stove, and
    farther back on the same side a window; on the opposite side is a
    door opening into a hallway; in the middle of the room there is a
    round, worn dining-room table, on which stands a stunted, scraggly
    bit of an evergreen-tree; at the back of the room, near the
    window, stands an old-fashioned safe with perforated tin front;
    next it a door opening into an inner room, and next it in the
    corner a bed, on which lies a pallid woman; another woman, very
    old, sits in a rocking-chair in front of the stove and rocks.
    There is silence for a long space, the old woman rocking and the
    woman on the bed giving an occasional low sigh or groan. At last
    the old woman speaks._]

    THE OLD WOMAN. David an' Michael might be kapin' the Christmas wid
    us to-morrow night if we hadn't left the ould counthry. They'd
    never be crossin' the sea--all the many weary miles o' wetness an'
    fog an' cold to be kapin' it wid us here in this great house o'
    brick walls in a place full o' strange souls. They would never be
    for crossin' all that weary, cold, green wather, groanin' an'
    tossin' like it was the grave o' sivin thousan' divils. Ah, but it
    would be a black night at sea! [_She remains silent for a few
    minutes, staring at the stove and rocking slowly._] If they hadn't
    to cross that wet, cold sea they'd maybe come. But wouldn't they
    be afeard o' this great city, an' would they iver find us here?
    Six floors up, an' they niver off the ground in their lives. What
    would ye be thinkin'? [_The other woman does not answer her. She
    then speaks petulantly._] What would ye be thinkin'? Mary, have ye
    gone clane to slape? [_Turns her chair and peers around the back
    of it at the pallid woman on the bed, who sighs and answers._]

    THE WOMAN. No, I on'y wisht I could. Maybe they'll come--I don't
    know, but father an' Michael wasn't much for thravel. [_After a
    pause and very wearily._] Maybe they'll not come, yet [_slowly_],
    maybe I'll be kapin' the Christmas wid them there. [_The Old Woman
    seems not to notice this, wandering from her question back to her
    memories._]


THE OLD WOMAN. No, they'll niver be lavin' the ould land, the green
land, the home land. I'm wishing I was there wid thim. [_Another pause,
while she stares at the stove._] Maybe we'd have a duck an' potatoes,
an' maybe something to drink to kape us warm against the cold. An' the
boys would all be dancin' an' the girls have rosy cheeks. [_There is
another pause, and then a knock at the door. "Come in," the two women
call, in reedy, weak voices, and a thin, slatternly Irish woman
enters._]

THE NEIGHBOR. God avnin' to ye; I came in to ask if I might borrow the
loan o' a bit o' tay, not havin' a leaf of it left.

THE WOMAN. We have a little left, just enough we was savin' for
ourselves to-night, but you're welcome to it--maybe the girls will bring
some. Will ye get it for her, mother? Or she can help herself--it's in
the safe. It's on the lower shelf among the cups an' saucers an' plates.
[_The Old Woman and Neighbor go to the safe and hunt for the tea, and do
not find it readily. The safe has little in it but a few cracked and
broken dishes._]

THE NEIGHBOR [_holding up a tiny paper bag with an ounce perhaps of tea
in it._] It's just a scrap!

THE OLD WOMAN. To be sure! We use so much tay! We're that exthravagant!

THE NEIGHBOR. It hurts me to take it from ye--maybe I'd better not.

THE OLD WOMAN. The girls will bring more. We always have a cupboard full
o' things. We're always able to lend to our neighbors.

THE NEIGHBOR. It's in great luck, ye are. For some of us be so poor we
don't know where the next bite's comin' from. An' this winter whin
iverything's so high an' wages not raised, a woman can't find enough to
cook for her man's dinner. It isn't that ye don't see things--oh,
they're in the markets an' the shops, an' it makes yer mouth wather as
ye walk along the sthrates this day before the Christmas to see the
turkeys an' the ducks ye'll niver ate, an' the little pigs an' the
or'nges an' bananies an' cranberries an' the cakes an' nuts an'--it's
worse, I'm thinkin', to see thim whin there's no money to buy than it
was in the ould counthry, where there was nothing to buy wid the money
ye didn't have.

THE WOMAN. It's all one to us poor folk whether there be things to buy
or not. [_She speaks gaspingly, as one who is short of breath._] I'm
on'y thinkin' o' the clane air at home--if I could have a mornin' o'
fresh sunshine--these fogs an' smoke choke me so. The girls would take
me out to the counthry if they had time an' I'd get well. But they
haven't time. [_She falls into a fit of coughing._]

THE OLD WOMAN. But it's like to be bright on Christmas Day. It wouldn't
iver be cloudy on Christmas Day, an' maybe even now the stars would be
crapin' out an' the air all clear an' cold an' the moon a-shinin' an'
iverything so sthill an' quiet an' bleamin' an' breathless [_her voice
falls almost to a whisper_], awaitin' on the Blessed Virgin. [_She goes
to the window, lifts the blind, and peers out, then throws up the sash
and leans far out. After a moment she pulls the sash down again and the
blind and turns to those in the room with the look of pathetic
disappointment in little things, of the aged._] No, there's not a sthar,
not one little twinklin' sthar, an' how'll the shepherds find their way?
Iverything's dull an' black an' the clouds are hangin' down heavy an'
sthill. How'll the shepherds find their way without the sthar to guide
thim? [_Then almost whimpering._] An' David an' Michael will niver be
crossin' that wet, black sea! An' the girls--how'll they find their way
home? They'll be lost somewhere along by the hedges. Ohone, ohone!

THE NEIGHBOR. Now, grannie, what would ye be sayin'? There's niver a
hedge anywhere but granite blocks an' electric light poles an' plenty o'
light in the city for thim to see all their way home. [_Then to the
woman._] Ain't they late?

THE WOMAN. They're always late, an' they kape gettin' lather an' lather.

THE NEIGHBOR. Yis, av coorse, the sthores is all open in the avnin's
before Christmas.

THE WOMAN. They go so early in the mornin' an' get home so late at
night, an' they're so tired.

THE NEIGHBOR [_whiningly_]. They're lucky to be young enough to work an'
not be married. I've got to go home to the childer an' give thim their
tay. Pat's gone to the saloon again, an' to-morrow bein' Christmas I
misdoubt he'll be terrible dhrunk again, an' me on'y jist well from the
blow in the shoulder the last time. [_She wipes her eyes and moves
towards the door._]

THE OLD WOMAN. Sthay an' kape Christmas wid us. We're goin' to have our
celebratin' to-night on Christmas Eve, the way folks do here. I like it
best on Christmas Day, the way 'tis in the ould counthry, but here 'tis
Christmas Eve they kape. We're waitin' for the girls to come home to
start things--they knowin' how--Mary an' me on'y know how to kape
Christmas Day as 'tis at home. But the girls'll soon be here, an'
they'll have the three an' do the cookin' an' all, an' we'll kape up the
jollity way into the night.

THE NEIGHBOR [_looks questioningly and surprised at the Woman, whose
eyes are on the mother._] Nay, if Pat came home dhrunk an' didn't find
me, he'd kill me. We have all to be movin' on to our own throubles.
[_She goes out, and the old woman leaves the Christmas-tree which she
has been fingering and admiring, and sits down in the rocking-chair
again. After a while she croons to herself in a high, broken voice. This
lasts some time, when there is the noise of a slamming door and then of
footsteps approaching._]

THE WOMAN. If I could on'y be in the counthry!

THE OLD WOMAN. Maybe that would be the girls! [_She starts tremblingly
to her feet, but the steps come up to the door and go by._] If David and
Michael was to come now an' go by--there bein' no sthar to guide thim!

THE WOMAN. Nay, mother, 'twas the shepherds that was guided by the sthar
an' to the bed o' the Blessed Babe.

THE OLD WOMAN. Aye, so 'twas. What be I thinkin' of? The little Blessed
Babe! [_She smiles and sits staring at the stove again for a little._]
But they could not find Him to-night. 'Tis so dark an' no sthars
shinin.' [_After another pause._] An' what would shepherds do in a
ghreat city? 'Twould be lost they'd be, quicker than in any bog. Think
ye, Mary, that the boys would be hootin' thim an' the p'lice, maybe,
would want to be aristin' thim for loitherin'. They'd niver find the
Blessed Babe, an' they'd have to be movin' on. [_Another pause, and then
there is the sound of approaching footsteps again. The Old Woman grasps
the arms of her chair and leans forward, intently listening._]--That
would sure be the girls this time! [_But again the footsteps go by. The
Old Woman sighs._] Ah, but 'tis weary waitin'! [_There is another long
pause._] 'Twas on that day that David an' me was plighted--a brave
Christmas Day wid a shinin' sun an' a sky o' blue wid fair, white
clouds. An' David an' me met at the early mass in the dark o' the frosty
mornin' afore the sun rose--an' there was all day good times an' a duck
for dinner and puddin's an' a party at the O'Brady's in the evenin',
whin David an' me danced. Ah, but he was a beautiful dancer, an' me,
too--I was as light on my feet as a fairy. [_She begins to croon an old
dance tune and hobbles to her feet, and, keeping time with her head,
tries a grotesque and feeble sort of dancing. Her eyes brighten and she
smiles proudly._] Aye, but I danced like a fairy, an' there was not
another couple so sprightly an' handsome in all the country. [_She
tires, and, looking pitiful and disappointed, hobbles back to her chair,
and drops into it again._] Ah, but I be old now, and the strength fails
me. [_She falls into silence for a few minutes._] 'Twas the day before
the little man, the little white dove, my next Christmas that Michael
was born--little son! [_There is a moment's pause, and then the pallid
woman on the bed has a violent fit of coughing._]

THE WOMAN. Mother, could ye get me a cup o' wather? If the girls was
here to get me a bite to ate, maybe it would kape the breath in me the
night.

THE OLD WOMAN [_starts and stares at her daughter, as if she hardly
comprehended the present reality. She gets up and goes over to the
window under which there is a pail full of water. She dips some out in a
tin cup and carries it to her bed._] Ye should thry to get up an' move
about some, so ye can enjoy the Christmas threat. 'Tis bad bein' sick on
Christmas. Thry, now, Mary, to sit up a bit. The girls'll be wantin' ye
to be merry wid the rest av us.

THE WOMAN [_looking at her mother with a sad wistfulness_]. I wouldn't
spoil things for the girls if I could help. Maybe, mother, if ye'd lift
me a little I could sit up. [_The Old Woman tugs at her, and she herself
tries hard to get into a sitting posture, but after some effort and
panting for breath, she falls back again. After a pause for rest, she
speaks gaspingly._] Maybe I'll feel sthronger lather whin the girls come
home--they could help me--[_with the plaint of longing in her voice_]
they be so late! [_After another pause._] Maybe I'll be sthrong again in
the mornin'--if I'd had a cup of coffee.--Maybe I could get up--an' walk
about--an' do the cookin'. [_There is a knock at the door, and again
they call, "Come in," in reedy, weak voices. There enters a little
messenger boy in a ragged overcoat that reaches almost to his heels. His
eyes are large and bright, his face pale and dirty, and he is fearfully
tired and worn._]

THE WOMAN. Why, Tim, boy, come in. Sit ye down an' rest, ye're lookin'
weary.

THE OLD WOMAN. Come to the stove, Timmie, man, an' warm yourself. We
always kape a warm room an' a bright fire for visitors.

THE BOY. I was awful cold an' hungry an' I come home to get somethin' to
eat before. I started out on another trip, but my sisters ain't home
from the store yit, an' the fire's gone out in the stove, an' the room's
cold as outside. I thought maybe ye'd let me come in here an' git warm.

THE OLD WOMAN. Poor orphan! Poor lamb! To be shure ye shall get warm by
our sthove.

THE BOY. The cars are so beastly col' an' so crowded a feller mostly has
to stand on the back platform. [_The Old Woman takes him by the shoulder
and pushes him toward the stove, but he resists._]

THE BOY. No, thank ye--I don't want to go so near yet; my feet's all
numb an' they allays hurt so when they warms up fast.

THE OLD WOMAN. Thin sit ye down off from the sthove. [_Moves the
rocking-chair farther away from the stove for him._]

THE BOY. If ye don't mind I'd rather stand on 'em 'til they gets a
little used to it. They been numb off an' on mos' all day.

THE WOMAN. Soon as yer sisters come, Timmie, ye'd betther go to
bed--'tis the best place to get warm.

THE BOY. I can't--I got most a three-hour trip yet. I won't get home any
'fore midnight if I don't get lost, and maybe I'll get lost--I did once
out there. I've got to take a box o' 'Merican Beauty roses to a place
eight mile out, an' the house ain't on the car track, but nearly a mile
off, the boss said. I wisht they could wait till mornin', but the orders
was they just got to get the roses to-night. You see, out there they
don' have no gas goin' nights when there's a moon, an' there'd ought to
be a moon to-night, on'y the clouds is so thick there ain't no light
gets through.

THE OLD WOMAN. There's no sthar shinin' to-night, Tim. [_She shakes her
head ominously. She goes to the window for the second time, opens it as
before, and looks out. Shutting the window, she comes back and speaks
slowly and sadly._] Niver a sthar. An' the shepherds will be havin' a
hard time, Tim, like you, findin' their way.

THE BOY. Shepherds? In town? What shepherds?

THE WOMAN. She means the shepherds on Christmas Eve that wint to find
the Blessed Babe, Jesus.

THE OLD WOMAN. 'Tis Christmas Eve, Timmie; ye haven't forgot that, have
ye?

THE BOY. You bet I ain't. I know pretty well when Christmas is comin',
by the way I got to hustle, an' the size of the boxes I got to carry.
Seems as if my legs an' me would like to break up pardnership. I got to
work till midnight every night, an' I'm so sleepy I drop off in the cars
whenever I get a seat. An' the girls is at the store so early an' late
they don't get time to cook me nothin' to eat.

THE WOMAN. Be ye hungry, Timmie?

THE BOY [_diffidently and looking at the floor_]. No, I ain't hungry
now.

THE WOMAN. Be ye shure, Timmie?

THE BOY. Oh, I kin go till I git home.

THE WOMAN. Mother, can't you find something for him to eat?

THE OLD WOMAN. To be shure, to be shure. [_Bustling about._] We always
kapes a full cupboard to thrate our neighbors wid whin they comes in.
[_She goes to the empty safe and fusses in it to find something. She
pretends to be very busy, and then glances around at the boy with a sly
look and a smile._] Ah, Timmie, lad, what would ye like to be havin',
now? If you had the wish o' yer heart for yer Christmas dinner an' a
good fairy to set it all afore ye? Ye'd be wishin' maybe, for a fine
roast duck, to begin wid, in its own gravies an' some apple sauce to go
wid it; an' ye'd be thinkin' o' a little bit o' pig nicely browned an' a
plate of potaties; an' the little fairy woman would be bringin' yer
puddin's an' nuts an' apples an' a dish o' the swatest tay. [_The Boy
smiles rather ruefully._]

THE WOMAN. But, mother, you're not gettin' Tim something to ate.

THE BOY. She's makin' me mouth water all right. [_The Old Woman goes
back to her search, but again turns about with a cunning look, and says
to the boy:_]

THE OLD WOMAN. Maybe ye'll meet that little fairy woman out there in
the counthry road where ye're takin' the roses! [_Nods her head
knowingly, turning to the safe again._] Here's salt an' here's
pepper an' here's mustard an' a crock full o' sugar, an', oh! Tim,
here's some fine cold bacon--fine, fat, cold bacon--an' here's half a
loaf o' white wheat bread! Why, Timmie, lad, that's just the food to
make boys fat! Ye'll grow famously on it. 'Tis a supper, whin ye add to
it a dhrop o' iligant milk, that's fit for a king. [_She bustles about
with great show of being busy and having much to prepare. Puts the plate
of cold bacon upon the table where stands the stunted bit of an
evergreen-tree, then brings the half-loaf of bread and cuts it into
slices, laying pieces of bacon on the slices of bread. Then she pours
out a glass of milk from a dilapidated and broken pitcher in the safe
and brings it to the table, the Boy all the while watching her hungrily.
At last he says rather apologetically to the woman._]

THE BOY. I ain't had nothin' since a wienerwurst at eleven o'clock.

THE OLD WOMAN. Now, dhraw up, Timmie, boy, an' ate yer fill; ye're more
thin welcome. [_The boy does not sit down, but stands by the table and
eats a slice of bread and bacon, drinking from the glass of milk
occasionally._]

THE WOMAN. Don't they niver give ye nothin' to ate at the gran' houses
when ye'd be takin' the roses?

THE BOY. Not them. They'd as soon think o' feedin' a telephone or an
automobile as me.

THE WOMAN. But don't they ask ye in to get warm whin ye've maybe come so
far?

THE BOY. No, they don't seem to look at me 'zacly like a caller. They
generally steps out long enough to sign the receipt-book an' shut the
front door behin' 'em so as not to let the house get col' the length o'
time I'm standin' there. Well, I'm awful much obleeged to ye. Now, I got
to be movin' on.

THE OLD WOMAN. Sthop an' cilibrate the Christmas wid us. We ain't
started to do nothin' yet because the girls haven't come--they know how
[_nodding her head_]--an' they're goin' to bring things--all kinds o'
good things to ate an' a branch of rowan berries--ah, boy, a great
branch o' rowan wid scarlet berries shinin' [_gesticulating and with
gleaming eyes_], an' we'll all be merry an' kape it up late into the
night.

THE BOY [_in a little fear of her_]. I guess it's pretty late now. I got
to make that trip an' I guess when I get home I'll be so sleepy I'll
jus' tumble in. Ye've been awful good to me, an' it's the first time I
been warm to-day. Good-by. [_He starts toward the door, but the Old
Woman follows him and speaks to him coaxingly._]

THE OLD WOMAN. Ah, don't ye go, Michael, lad! Now, bide wid us a bit.
[_The Boy, surprised at the name, looks queerly at the Old Woman, who
then stretches out her arms to him, and says beseechingly:_] Ah, boy,
ah, Mike, bide wid us, now ye've come! We've been that lonesome widout
ye!

THE BOY [_frightened and shaking his head_]. I've got to be movin'.

THE OLD WOMAN. No, Michael, little lamb, no!

THE BOY [_almost terrified, watching her with staring eyes, and backing
out_]. I got to go! [_The Boy goes out, and the Old Woman breaks into
weeping, totters over to her old rocking-chair and drops into it, rocks
to and fro, wailing to herself._]

THE OLD WOMAN. Oh, to have him come an' go again, my little Michael, my
own little lad!

THE WOMAN. Don't ye, dearie; now, then, don't ye! 'Twas not Michael, but
just our little neighbor boy, Tim. Ye know, poor lamb, now if ye'll thry
to remember, that father an' Michael is gone to the betther land an' us
is left.

THE OLD WOMAN. Nay, nay, 'tis the fairies that took thim an' have thim
now, kapin' thim an' will not ever give thim back.

THE WOMAN. Whisht, mother! Spake not of the little folk on the Holy
Night! [_Crosses herself._] Have ye forgot the time o' all the year it
is? Now, dhry yer eyes, dearie, an' thry to be cheerful like 'fore the
girls be comin' home. [_A noise is heard, the banging of a door and
footsteps._] Thim be the girls now, shure they be comin' at last. [_But
the sound of footsteps dies away._] But they'll be comin' soon.
[_Wearily, but with the inveterate hope._]

    [_The two women relapse into silence again, which is undisturbed
    for a few minutes. Then there is a knock at the door, and together
    in quavering, reedy voices, they call, "Come in," as before. There
    enters a tall, big, broad-shouldered woman with a cold,
    discontented, hard look upon the face that might have been
    handsome some years back; still, in her eyes, as she looks at the
    pallid woman on the bed, there is something that denotes a
    softness underneath it all._]

THE OLD WOMAN. Good avnin' to ye! We're that pleased to see our
neighbors!

THE NEIGHBOR [_without paying any attention to the Old Woman, but
entirely addressing the woman on the bed._] How's yer cough?

THE WOMAN. Oh, it's jist the same--maybe a little betther. If I could
on'y get to the counthry! But the girls must be workin'--they haven't
time to take me. Sit down, won't ye? [_The Neighbor goes to the bed and
sits down on the foot of it._]

THE NEIGHBOR. I'm most dead, I'm so tired. I did two washin's
to-day--went out and did one this mornin' and then my own after I come
home this afternoon. I jus' got through sprinklin' it an' I'll iron
to-morrow.

THE WOMAN. Not on Christmas Day!

THE NEIGHBOR [_with a sneer_]. Christmas Day! Did ye hear 'bout the
Beckers? Well, they was all put out on the sidewalk this afternoon.
Becker's been sick, ye know, an' ain't paid his rent an' his wife's got
a two weeks' old baby. It sort o' stunned Mis' Becker, an' she sat on
one of the mattresses out there an' wouldn't move, an' nobody couldn't
do nothin' with her. But they ain't the only ones has bad luck--Smith,
the painter, fell off a ladder an' got killed. They took him to the
hospital, but it wasn't no use--his head was all mashed in. His wife's
got them five boys an' Smith never saved a cent, though he warn't a
drinkin' man. It's a good thing Smith's children is boys--they can make
their livin' easier!

THE WOMAN [_smiling faintly_]. Ain't ye got no cheerful news to tell?
It's Christmas Eve, ye know.

THE NEIGHBOR. Christmas Eve don't seem to prevent people from dyin' an'
bein' turned out o' house an' home. Did ye hear how bad the dipthery is?
They say as how if it gits much worse they'll have to close the school
in our ward. Two o' the Homan children's dead with it. The first one
wasn't sick but two days, an' they say his face all turned black 'fore
he died. But it's a good thing they're gone, for the Homans ain't got
enough to feed the other six. Did ye hear 'bout Jim Kelly drinkin'
again? Swore off for two months, an' then took to it harder'n
ever--perty near killed the baby one night.

THE WOMAN [_with a wan, beseeching smile_]. Won't you please not tell me
any more? It just breaks me heart.

THE NEIGHBOR [_grimly_]. I ain't got no other kind o' news to tell. I
s'pose I might's well go home.

THE WOMAN. No, don't ye go. I like to have ye here when ye're kinder.

THE NEIGHBOR [_fingering the bed clothes and smoothing them over the
woman_]. Well, it's gettin' late, an' I guess ye ought to go to sleep.

THE WOMAN. Oh, no, I won't go to slape till the girls come. They'll
bring me somethin' to give me strength. If they'd on'y come soon.

THE NEIGHBOR. Ye ain't goin' to set up 'til they git home?

THE OLD WOMAN. That we are. We're kapin' the cilebratin' till they come.

THE NEIGHBOR. What celebratin'?

THE OLD WOMAN. Why, the Christmas, to be shure. We're goin' to have high
jinks to-night. In the ould counthry 'tis always Christmas Day, but here
'tis begun on Christmas Eve, an' we're on'y waitin' for the girls,
because they know how to fix things betther nor Mary an' me.

THE NEIGHBOR [_staring_]. But ain't they workin' in the store?

THE OLD WOMAN. Yes, but they're comin' home early to-night.

THE NEIGHBOR [_laughing ironically_]. Don't ye fool yerselves. Why,
they've got to work harder to-night than any in the whole year.

THE WOMAN [_wistfully_]. But they did say they'd thry to come home
early.

THE NEIGHBOR. The store's all crowded to-night. Folks 'at's got money
to spend never remembers it till the last minute. If they didn't have
none they'd be thinkin' 'bout it long ahead. Well, I got to be movin'. I
wouldn't stay awake, if I was you.

THE OLD WOMAN. Sthay and kape the Christmas wid us! We'll be havin' high
jinks by an' by. Sthay, now, an' help us wid our jollity!

THE NEIGHBOR. Nay, I left my children in bed, an' I got to go back to
'em. An' I got to get some rest myself--I got that ironin' ahead o' me
in the mornin'. You folks better get yer own rest. [_She rises and walks
to the door._]

THE OLD WOMAN [_beamingly_]. David an' Michael's comin'. [_The Neighbor
stands with her back against the door and her hand on the knob, staring
at the Old Woman._]

THE OLD WOMAN [_smiling rapturously_]. Yis, we're goin' to have a gran'
time. [_The Neighbor looks puzzled and fearful and troubled, first at
the Woman and then at the Old Woman. Finally, without a word, she opens
the door and goes out._]

THE OLD WOMAN [_going about in a tottering sort of dance_]. David an'
Michael's comin' an' the shepherds for the fairies will show thim the
way.

THE WOMAN. If the girls would on'y come! If they'd give me somethin' so
as I wouldn't be so tired!

THE OLD WOMAN. There's niver a sthar an' there's nobody to give thim a
kind word an' the counthry roads are dark an' foul, but they've got the
little folk to guide thim! An' whin they reach the city--the poor,
lonesome shepherds from the hills!--they'll find naught but coldness an'
hardness an' hurry. [_Questioningly._] Will the fairies show thim the
way? Fairies' eyes be used to darkness, but can they see where it is
black night in one corner an' a blaze o' light in another? [_She goes to
the window for the third time, opens it and leans far out for a long
time, then turns about and goes on in her monotone, closing the
window.--She seems by this time quite to have forgotten the presence of
the pallid woman on the bed, who has closed her eyes, and lies like one
dead._]

THE OLD WOMAN. Nay, there's niver a sthar, an' the clouds are hangin'
heavier an' lower an' the flakes o' snow are fallin'. Poor little folk
guidin' thim poor lost shepherds, leadin' thim by the hand so gently
because there's no others to be kind to thim, an' bringin' thim to the
manger o' the Blessed Babe. [_She comes over to her rocking-chair and
again sits down in it, rocks slowly to and fro, nodding her head in time
to the motion._] Poor little mite of a babe, so cold an' unwelcome an'
forgotten save by the silly ould shepherds from the hills! The silly
ould shepherds from the strength o' the hills, who are comin' through
the darkness in the lead o' the little folk! [_She speaks slower and
lower, and finally drops into a quiet crooning--it stops and the Old
Woman has fallen asleep._]

    [_Curtain._]

    [_While the curtain is down the pallid, sick woman upon the bed
    dies, the Old Woman being asleep does not notice the slight
    struggle with death. The fire has gone out in the stove, and the
    light in the lamp, and the stage is in complete darkness when the
    two girls come stumbling in. They are too tired to speak, too
    weary to show surprise that the occupants of the room are not
    awake. They fumble about, trying to find matches in the darkness,
    and finally discover them and a candle in the safe. They light the
    candle and place it upon the table by the scraggy little
    evergreen-tree. They turn about and discern their grandmother
    asleep in the rocking-chair. Hurriedly they turn to the bed and
    discover their mother lying there dead. For a full minute they
    stand gazing at her, the surprise, wonder, awe, misery increasing
    in their faces; then with screams they run to the bed, throw
    themselves on their knees and bury their faces, sobbing, in the
    bedclothes at the Woman's feet._]


  [_Curtain._]




ILE

  A PLAY

  BY EUGENE G. O'NEILL


  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    BEN [_the cabin boy_].
    THE STEWARD.
    CAPTAIN KEENEY.
    SLOCUM [_second mate_].
    MRS. KEENEY.
    JOE [_a harpooner_].
    _Members of the crew of the Atlantic Queen._


  ILE was first produced by the Provincetown Players, New York City, on
  the night of November 30th, 1917, with the following cast:

    BEN [_the cabin boy_]            _Harold Conley_.
    THE STEWARD                      _Robert Edwards_.
    CAPTAIN KEENEY                   _H. Collins_.
    MR. SLOCUM [_second mate_]       _Ira Remsen_.
    MRS. KEENEY                      _Clara Savage_.
    JOE [_the harpooner_]            _Lewis B. Ell_.

  Produced under the direction of MISS NINA MOISE. Scenery by MR. LEWIS
  B. ELL.


  Reprinted from "The Moon of the Caribbees and Six Other Plays of the
  Sea" by special permission of Eugene O'Neill. The professional and
  amateur stage rights on this play are strictly reserved by the author.
  Applications for permission to produce the play should be made to Mr.
  Eugene G. O'Neill, Provincetown, Mass.



ILE

A PLAY BY EUGENE G. O'NEILL


    [_SCENE: Captain Keeney's cabin on board the steam whaling ship
    Atlantic Queen--a small, square compartment about eight feet high
    with a skylight in the center looking out on the poop deck. On the
    left (the stern of the ship) a long bench with rough cushions is
    built in against the wall. In front of the bench a table. Over the
    bench, several curtained port-holes._

    _In the rear left, a door leading to the captain's sleeping
    quarters. To the right of the door a small organ, looking as if it
    were brand new, is placed against the wall._

    _On the right, to the rear, a marble-topped sideboard. On the
    sideboard, a woman's sewing basket. Farther forward, a doorway
    leading to the companion-way, and past the officers' quarters to
    the main deck._

    _In the center of the room, a stove. From the middle of the
    ceiling a hanging lamp is suspended. The walls of the cabin are
    painted white._

    _There is no rolling of the ship, and the light which comes
    through the sky-light is sickly and faint, indicating one of those
    gray days of calm when ocean and sky are alike dead. The silence
    is unbroken except for the measured tread of some one walking up
    and down on the poop deck overhead._

    _It is nearing two bells--one o'clock--in the afternoon of a day
    in the year 1895._

       *       *       *       *       *

    _At the rise of the curtain there is a moment of intense silence.
    Then The Steward enters and commences to clear the table of the
    few dishes which still remain on it after the Captain's dinner. He
    is an old, grizzled man dressed in dungaree pants, a sweater, and
    a woolen cap with ear flaps. His manner is sullen and angry. He
    stops stacking up the plates and casts a quick glance upward at
    the skylight; then tiptoes over to the closed door in rear and
    listens with his ear pressed to the crack. What he hears makes his
    face darken and he mutters a furious curse. There is a noise from
    the doorway on the right and he darts back to the table._

    _Ben enters. He is an over-grown gawky boy with a long, pinched
    face. He is dressed in sweater, fur cap, etc. His teeth are
    chattering with the cold and he hurries to the stove where he
    stands for a moment shivering, blowing on his hands, slapping them
    against his sides, on the verge of crying._]


THE STEWARD [_in relieved tones--seeing who it is_]. Oh, 'tis you, is
it? What're ye shiverin' 'bout? Stay by the stove where ye belong and
ye'll find no need of chatterin'.

BEN. It's c-c-cold. [_Trying to control his chattering
teeth--derisively._] Who d'ye think it were--the Old Man?

THE STEWARD [_makes a threatening move--Ben shrinks away_]. None o' your
lip, young un, or I'll learn ye. [_More kindly._] Where was it ye've
been all o' the time--the fo'c's'tle?

BEN. Yes.

THE STEWARD. Let the Old Man see ye up for'ard monkeyshinin' with the
hands and ye'll get a hidin' ye'll not forget in a hurry.

BEN. Aw, he don't see nothin'. [_A trace of awe in his tones--he glances
upward._] He jest walks up and down like he didn't notice nobody--and
stares at the ice to the no'the'ard.

THE STEWARD [_the same tone of awe creeping into his voice_]. He's
always starin' at the ice. [_In a sudden rage, shaking his fist at the
skylight._] Ice, ice, ice! Damn him and damn the ice! Holdin' us in for
nigh on a year--nothin' to see but ice--stuck in it like a fly in
molasses!

BEN [_apprehensively_]. Ssshh! He'll hear ye.

THE STEWARD [_raging_]. Aye, damn, and damn the Arctic seas, and damn
this rotten whalin' ship of his, and damn me for a fool to ever ship on
it! [_Subsiding as if realizing the uselessness of this
outburst--shaking his head--slowly, with deep conviction._] He's a hard
man--as hard a man as ever sailed the seas.

BEN [_solemnly_]. Aye.

THE STEWARD. The two years we all signed up for are done this day! Two
years o' this dog's life, and no luck in the fishin', and the hands half
starved with the food runnin' low, rotten as it is; and not a sign of
him turnin' back for home! [_Bitterly._] Home! I begin to doubt if ever
I'll set foot on land again. [_Excitedly._] What is it he thinks he's
goin' to do? Keep us all up here after our time is worked out till the
last man of us is starved to death or frozen? We've grub enough hardly
to last out the voyage back if we started now. What are the men goin' to
do 'bout it? Did ye hear any talk in the fo'c's'tle?

BEN [_going over to him--in a half whisper_]. They said if he don't put
back south for home to-day they're goin' to mutiny.

THE STEWARD [_with grim satisfaction_]. Mutiny? Aye, 'tis the only thing
they can do; and serve him right after the manner he's treated them--'s
if they weren't no better nor dogs.

BEN. The ice is all broke up to s'uth'ard. They's clear water s'far 's
you can see. He ain't got no excuse for not turnin' back for home, the
men says.

THE STEWARD [_bitterly_]. He won't look nowheres but no'the'ard where
they's only the ice to see. He don't want to see no clear water. All he
thinks on is gettin' the ile--'s if it was our fault he ain't had good
luck with the whales. [_Shaking his head._] I think the man's mighty
nigh losin' his senses.

BEN [_awed_]. D'you really think he's crazy?

THE STEWARD. Aye, it's the punishment o' God on him. Did ye ever hear of
a man who wasn't crazy do the things he does? [_Pointing to the door in
rear._] Who but a man that's mad would take his woman--and as sweet a
woman as ever was--on a rotten whalin' ship to the Arctic seas to be
locked in by the ice for nigh on a year, and maybe lose her senses
forever--for it's sure she'll never be the same again.

BEN [_sadly_]. She useter be awful nice to me before--[_His eyes grow
wide and frightened._] she got--like she is.

THE STEWARD. Aye, she was good to all of us. 'Twould have been hell on
board without her; for he's a hard man--a hard, hard man--a driver if
there ever was one. [_With a grim laugh._] I hope he's satisfied
now--drivin' her on till she's near lost her mind. And who could blame
her? 'Tis a God's wonder we're not a ship full of crazed people--with
the ice all the time, and the quiet so thick you're afraid to hear your
own voice.

BEN [_with a frightened glance toward the door on right_]. She don't
never speak to me no more--jest looks at me 's if she didn't know me.

THE STEWARD. She don't know no one--but him. She talks to him--when she
does talk--right enough.

BEN. She does nothin' all day long now but sit and sew--and then she
cries to herself without makin' no noise. I've seen her.

THE STEWARD. Aye, I could hear her through the door a while back.

BEN [_tiptoes over to the door and listens_]. She's cryin' now.

THE STEWARD [_furiously--shaking his fist_]. God send his soul to hell
for the devil he is!

    [_There is the noise of some one coming slowly down the
    companion-way stairs. The Steward hurries to his stacked-up
    dishes. He is so nervous from fright that he knocks off the top
    one which falls and breaks on the floor. He stands aghast,
    trembling with dread. Ben is violently rubbing off the organ with
    a piece of cloth which he has snatched from his pocket. Captain
    Keeney appears in the doorway on right and comes into the cabin,
    removing his fur cap as he does so. He is a man of about forty,
    around five-ten in height but looking much shorter on account of
    the enormous proportions of his shoulders and chest. His face is
    massive and deeply lined, with gray-blue eyes of a bleak hardness,
    and a tightly-clenched, thin-lipped mouth. His thick hair is long
    and gray. He is dressed in a heavy blue jacket and blue pants
    stuffed into his sea-boots. He is followed into the cabin by the
    Second Mate, a rangy six-footer with a lean weather-beaten face.
    The Mate is dressed about the same as the captain. He is a man of
    thirty or so._]

KEENEY [_comes toward The Steward with a stern look on his face. The
Steward is visibly frightened and the stack of dishes rattles in his
trembling hands. Keeney draws back his fist and The Steward shrinks
away. The fist is gradually lowered and Keeney speaks slowly_]. 'Twould
be like hitting a worm. It is nigh on two bells, Mr. Steward, and this
truck not cleared yet.

THE STEWARD [_stammering_]. Y-y-yes, sir.

KEENEY. Instead of doin' your rightful work ye've been below here
gossipin' old women's talk with that boy. [_To Ben, fiercely._] Get out
o' this you! Clean up the chart room. [_Ben darts past the Mate to the
open doorway._] Pick up that dish, Mr. Steward!

THE STEWARD [_doing so with difficulty_]. Yes, sir.

KEENEY. The next dish you break, Mr. Steward, you take a bath in the
Behring Sea at the end of a rope.

THE STEWARD [_trembling_]. Yes, sir.

    [_He hurries out. The Second Mate walks slowly over to the
    Captain._]

MATE. I warn't 'specially anxious the man at the wheel should catch what
I wanted to say to you, sir. That's why I asked you to come below.

KEENEY [_impatiently_]. Speak your say, Mr. Slocum.

MATE [_unconsciously lowering his voice_]. I'm afeared there'll be
trouble with the hands by the look o' things. They'll likely turn ugly,
every blessed one o' them, if you don't put back. The two years they
signed up for is up to-day.

KEENEY. And d'you think you're tellin' me something new, Mr. Slocum?
I've felt it in the air this long time past. D'you think I've not seen
their ugly looks and the grudgin' way they worked?

    [_The door in rear is opened and Mrs. Keeney stands in the
    doorway. She is a slight, sweet-faced little woman, primly dressed
    in black. Her eyes are red from weeping and her face drawn and
    pale. She takes in the cabin with a frightened glance and stands
    as if fixed to the spot by some nameless dread, clasping and
    unclasping her hands nervously. The two men turn and look at
    her._]

KEENEY [_with rough tenderness_]. Well, Annie?

MRS. KEENEY [_as if awakening from a dream_]. David, I--

    [_She is silent. The Mate starts for the doorway._]

KEENEY [_turning to him--sharply_]. Wait!

MATE. Yes, sir.

KEENEY. D'you want anything, Annie?

MRS. KEENEY [_after a pause during which she seems to be endeavoring to
collect her thoughts_]. I thought maybe--I'd go up on deck, David, to
get a breath of fresh air.

    [_She stands humbly awaiting his permission. He and The Mate
    exchange a significant glance._]

KEENEY. It's too cold, Annie. You'd best stay below. There's nothing to
look at on deck--but ice.

MRS. KEENEY [_monotonously_]. I know--ice, ice, ice! But there's nothing
to see down here but these walls.

    [_She makes a gesture of loathing._]

KEENEY. You can play the organ, Annie.

MRS. KEENEY [_dully_]. I hate the organ. It puts me in mind of home.

KEENEY [_a touch of resentment in his voice_]. I got it jest for you!

MRS. KEENEY [_dully_]. I know. [_She turns away from them and walks
slowly to the bench on left. She lifts up one of the curtains and looks
through a porthole; then utters an exclamation of joy._] Ah, water!
Clear water! As far as I can see! How good it looks after all these
months of ice! [_She turns round to them, her face transfigured with
joy._] Ah, now I must go up on deck and look at it, David!

KEENEY [_frowning_]. Best not to-day, Annie. Best wait for a day when
the sun shines.

MRS. KEENEY [_desperately_]. But the sun never shines in this terrible
place.

KEENEY [_a tone of command in his voice_]. Best not to-day, Annie.

MRS. KEENEY [_crumbling before this command--abjectly_]. Very well,
David.

    [_She stands there, staring straight before her as if in a
    daze.--The two men look at her uneasily._]

KEENEY [_sharply_]. Annie!

MRS. KEENEY [_dully_]. Yes, David.

KEENEY. Me and Mr. Slocum has business to talk about--ship's business.

MRS. KEENEY. Very well, David.

    [_She goes slowly out, rear, and leaves the door three-quarters
    shut behind her._]

KEENEY. Best not have her on deck if they's goin' to be any trouble.

MATE. Yes, sir.

KEENEY. And trouble they's going to be. I feel it in my bones. [_Takes a
revolver from the pocket of his coat and examines it._] Got your'n?

MATE. Yes, sir.

KEENEY. Not that we'll have to use 'em--not if I know their breed of
dog--jest to frighten 'em up a bit. [_Grimly._] I ain't never been
forced to use one yit; and trouble I've had by land and by sea s'long as
I kin remember, and will have till my dyin' day, I reckon.

MATE [_hesitatingly_]. Then you ain't goin'--to turn back?

KEENEY. Turn back! Mr. Slocum, did you ever hear o' me pointin' s'uth
for home with only a measly four hundred barrel of ile in the hold?

MATE [_hastily_]. But the grub's gittin' low.

KEENEY. They's enough to last a long time yit, if they're careful with
it; and they's plenty of water.

MATE. They say it's not fit to eat--what's left; and the two years they
signed on fur is up to-day. They might make trouble for you in the
courts when we git home.

KEENEY. Let them make what law trouble they kin! I don't give a damn
'bout the money. I've got to git the ile! [_Glancing sharply at the
Mate._] You ain't turnin' no sea lawyer, be you, Mr. Slocum?

MATE [_flushing_]. Not by a hell of a sight, sir.

KEENEY. What do the fools want to go home fur now? Their share o' the
four hundred barrel wouldn't keep them in chewin' terbacco.

MATE [_slowly_]. They wants to git back to their old folks an' things, I
s'pose.

KEENEY [_looking at him searchingly_]. 'N you want to turn back too.
[_The Mate looks down confusedly before his sharp gaze._] Don't lie, Mr.
Slocum. It's writ down plain in your eyes. [_With grim sarcasm._] I
hope, Mr. Slocum, you ain't agoin' to jine the men agin me.

MATE [_indignantly_]. That ain't fair, sir, to say sich things.

KEENEY [_with satisfaction_]. I warn't much afeard o' that, Tom. You
been with me nigh on ten year and I've learned ye whalin'. No man kin
say I ain't a good master, if I be a hard one.

MATE. I warn't thinkin' of myself, sir--'bout turnin' home, I mean.
[_Desperately._] But Mrs. Keeney, sir--seems like she ain't jest
satisfied up here, ailin' like--what with the cold an' bad luck an' the
ice an' all.

KEENEY [_his face clouding--rebukingly, but not severely_]. That's my
business, Mr. Slocum. I'll thank you to steer a clear course o' that.
[_A pause._] The ice'll break up soon to no'the'ard. I could see it
startin' to-day. And when it goes and we git some sun Annie'll pick up.
[_Another pause--then he bursts forth._] It ain't the damned money
what's keepin' me up in the Northern seas, Tom. But I can't go back to
Homeport with a measly four hundred barrel of ile. I'd die fust. I ain't
never come back home in all my days without a full ship. Ain't that
true?

MATE. Yes, sir; but this voyage you been ice-bound, an'--

KEENEY [_scornfully_]. And d'you s'pose any of 'em would believe
that--any o' them skippers I've beaten voyage after voyage? Can't you
hear 'em laughin' and sneerin'--Tibbots n' Harris n' Simms and the
rest--and all o' Homeport makin' fun o' me? "Dave Keeney, what boasts
he's the best whalin' skipper out o' Homeport, comin' back with a measly
four hundred barrel of ile!" [_The thought of this drives him into a
frenzy and he smashes his fist down on the marble top of the
sideboard._] I got to git the ile, I tell you! How could I figger on
this ice? It's never been so bad before in the thirty year I been
acomin' here. And now it's breakin' up. In a couple o' days it'll be all
gone. And they's whale here, plenty of 'em. I know they is and I ain't
never gone wrong yit. I got to git the ile! I got to git it in spite of
all hell, and by God, I ain't agoin' home till I do git it!

    [_There is the sound of subdued sobbing from the door in rear. The
    two men stand silent for a moment, listening. Then Keeney goes
    over to the door and looks in. He hesitates for a moment as if he
    were going to enter--then closes the door softly. Joe, the
    harpooner, an enormous six-footer with a battered, ugly face,
    enters from right and stands waiting for the Captain to notice
    him._]

KEENEY [_turning and seeing him_]. Don't be standin' there like a hawk,
Harpooner. Speak up!

JOE [_confusedly_]. We want--the men, sir--they wants to send a
depitation aft to have a word with you.

KEENEY [_furiously_]. Tell 'em to go to--[_Checks himself and continues
grimly._] Tell 'em to come. I'll see 'em.

JOE. Aye, aye, sir.

    [_He goes out._]

KEENEY [_with a grim smile_]. Here it comes, the trouble you spoke of,
Mr. Slocum, and we'll make short shift of it. It's better to crush such
things at the start than let them make headway.

MATE [_worriedly_]. Shall I wake up the First and Fourth, sir? We might
need their help.

KEENEY. No, let them sleep. I'm well able to handle this alone, Mr.
Slocum.

    [_There is the shuffling of footsteps from outside and five of the
    crew crowd into the cabin, led by Joe. All are dressed
    alike--sweaters, sea boots, etc. They glance uneasily at the
    Captain, twirling their fur caps in their hands._]

KEENEY [_after a pause_]. Well? Who's to speak fur ye?

JOE [_stepping forward with an air of bravado_]. I be.

KEENEY [_eyeing him up and down coldly_]. So you be. Then speak your say
and be quick about it.

JOE [_trying not to wilt before the Captain's glance and avoiding his
eyes_]. The time we signed up for is done to-day.

KEENEY [_icily_]. You're tellin' me nothin' I don't know.

JOE. You ain't p'intin' fur home yit, far s'we kin see.

KEENEY. No, and I ain't agoin' to till this ship is full of ile.

JOE. You can't go no further no'the with the ice before ye.

KEENEY. The ice is breaking up.

JOE [_after a slight pause, during which the others mumble angrily to
one another_]. The grub we're gittin' now is rotten.

KEENEY. It's good enough fur ye. Better men than ye are have eaten
worse.

    [_There is a chorus of angry exclamations from the crowd._]

JOE [_encouraged by this support_]. We ain't agoin' to work no more less
you puts back for home.

KEENEY [_fiercely_]. You ain't, ain't you?

JOE. No; and the law courts'll say we was right.

KEENEY. To hell with your law courts! We're at sea now and I'm the law
on this ship! [_Edging up toward the harpooner._] And every mother's son
of you what don't obey orders goes in irons.

    [_There are more angry exclamations from the crew. Mrs. Keeney
    appears in the doorway in rear and looks on with startled eyes.
    None of the men notice her._]

JOE [_with bravado_]. Then we're agoin' to mutiny and take the old
hooker home ourselves. Ain't we, boys?

    [_As he turns his head to look at the others, Keeney's fist shoots
    out to the side of his jaw. Joe goes down in a heap and lies
    there. Mrs. Keeney gives a shriek and hides her face in her hands.
    The men pull out their sheath knives and start a rush, but stop
    when they find themselves confronted by the revolvers of Keeney
    and the Mate._]

KEENEY [_his eyes and voice snapping_]. Hold still! [_The men stand
huddled together in a sullen silence. Keeney's voice is full of
mockery._] You's found out it ain't safe to mutiny on this ship, ain't
you? And now git for'ard where ye belong, and--[_He gives Joe's body a
contemptuous kick._] drag him with you. And remember, the first man of
ye I see shirkin' I'll shoot dead as sure as there's a sea under us, and
you can tell the rest the same. Git for'ard now! Quick! [_The men leave
in cowed silence, carrying Joe with them. Keeney turns to the Mate with
a short laugh and puts his revolver back in his pocket._] Best get up on
deck, Mr. Slocum, and see to it they don't try none of their skulkin'
tricks. We'll have to keep an eye peeled from now on. I know 'em.

MATE. Yes, sir.

    [_He goes out, right. Keeney hears his wife's hysterical weeping
    and turns around in surprise--then walks slowly to her side._]

KEENEY [_putting an arm around her shoulder--with gruff tenderness_].
There, there, Annie. Don't be feared. It's all past and gone.

MRS. KEENEY [_shrinking away from him_]. Oh, I can't bear it! I can't
bear it any longer!

KEENEY [_gently_]. Can't bear what, Annie?

MRS. KEENEY [_hysterically_]. All this horrible brutality, and these
brutes of men, and this terrible ship, and this prison cell of a room,
and the ice all around, and the silence.

    [_After this outburst she calms down and wipes her eyes with her
    handkerchief._]

KEENEY [_after a pause during which he looks down at her with a puzzled
frown_]. Remember, I warn't hankerin' to have you come on this voyage,
Annie.

MRS. KEENEY. I wanted to be with you, David, don't you see? I didn't
want to wait back there in the house all alone as I've been doing these
last six years since we were married--waiting, and watching, and
fearing--with nothing to keep my mind occupied--not able to go back
teaching school on account of being Dave Keeney's wife. I used to dream
of sailing on the great, wide, glorious ocean. I wanted to be by your
side in the danger and vigorous life of it all. I wanted to see you the
hero they make you out to be in Homeport. And instead [_Her voice grows
tremulous_] all I find is ice and cold--and brutality! [_Her voice
breaks._]

KEENEY. I warned you what it'd be, Annie. "Whalin' ain't no ladies' tea
party," I says to you, "and you better stay to home where you've got all
your woman's comforts." [_Shaking his head._] But you was so set on it.

MRS. KEENEY [_wearily_]. Oh, I know it isn't your fault, David. You see,
I didn't believe you. I guess I was dreaming about the old Vikings in
the story books and I thought you were one of them.

KEENEY [_protestingly_]. I done my best to make it as cozy and
comfortable as could be. [_Mrs. Keeney looks around her in wild scorn._]
I even sent to the city for that organ for ye, thinkin' it might be
soothin' to ye to be playin' it times when they was calms and things was
dull like.

MRS. KEENEY [_wearily_]. Yes, you were very kind, David. I know that.
[_She goes to left and lifts the curtains from the porthole and looks
out--then suddenly bursts forth_]: I won't stand it--I can't stand
it--pent up by these walls like a prisoner. [_She runs over to him and
throws her arms around him, weeping. He puts his arm protectingly over
her shoulders._] Take me away from here, David! If I don't get away from
here, out of this terrible ship, I'll go mad! Take me home, David! I
can't think any more. I feel as if the cold and the silence were
crushing down on my brain. I'm afraid. Take me home!

KEENEY [_holds her at arm's length and looks at her face anxiously_].
Best go to bed, Annie. You ain't yourself. You got fever. Your eyes look
so strange like. I ain't never seen you look this way before.

MRS. KEENEY [_laughing hysterically_]. It's the ice and the cold and the
silence--they'd make any one look strange.

KEENEY [_soothingly_]. In a month or two, with good luck, three at the
most, I'll have her filled with ile and then we'll give her everything
she'll stand and p'int for home.

MRS. KEENEY. But we can't wait for that--I can't wait. I want to get
home. And the men won't wait. They want to get home. It's cruel, it's
brutal for you to keep them. You must sail back. You've got no excuse.
There's clear water to the south now. If you've a heart at all you've
got to turn back.

KEENEY [_harshly_]. I can't, Annie.

MRS. KEENEY. Why can't you?

KEENEY. A woman couldn't rightly understand my reason.

MRS. KEENEY [_wildly_]. Because it's a stubborn reason. Oh, I heard you
talking with the second mate. You're afraid the other captains will
sneer at you because you didn't come back with a full ship. You want to
live up to your silly reputation even if you do have to beat and starve
men and drive me mad to do it.

KEENEY [_his jaw set stubbornly_]. It ain't that, Annie. Them skippers
would never dare sneer to my face. It ain't so much what any one'd
say--but--[_He hesitates, struggling to express his meaning_] you
see--I've always done it--since my first voyage as skipper. I always
come back--with a full ship--and--it don't seem right not to--somehow. I
been always first whalin' skipper out o' Homeport, and--don't you see my
meanin', Annie? [_He glances at her. She is not looking at him, but
staring dully in front of her, not hearing a word he is saying._] Annie!
[_She comes to herself with a start._] Best turn in, Annie, there's a
good woman. You ain't well.

MRS. KEENEY [_resisting his attempts to guide her to the door in rear_].
David! Won't you please turn back?

KEENEY [_gently_]. I can't, Annie--not yet awhile. You don't see my
meanin'. I got to git the ile.

MRS. KEENEY. It'd be different if you needed the money, but you don't.
You've got more than plenty.

KEENEY [_impatiently_]. It ain't the money I'm thinkin' of. D'you think
I'm as mean as that?

MRS. KEENEY [_dully_]. No--I don't know--I can't understand.
[_Intensely._] Oh, I want to be home in the old house once more, and see
my own kitchen again, and hear a woman's voice talking to me and be able
to talk to her. Two years! It seems so long ago--as if I'd been dead and
could never go back.

KEENEY [_worried by her strange tone and the far-away look in her
eyes_.] Best go to bed, Annie. You ain't well.

MRS. KEENEY [_not appearing to hear him_]. I used to be lonely when you
were away. I used to think Homeport was a stupid, monotonous place. Then
I used to go down on the beach, especially when it was windy and the
breakers were rolling in, and I'd dream of the fine, free life you must
be leading. [_She gives a laugh which is half a sob._] I used to love
the sea then. [_She pauses; then continues with slow intensity._] But
now--I don't ever want to see the sea again.

KEENEY [_thinking to humor her_]. 'Tis no fit place for a woman, that's
sure. I was a fool to bring ye.

MRS. KEENEY [_after a pause--passing her hand over her eyes with a
gesture of pathetic weariness_]. How long would it take us to reach
home--if we started now?

KEENEY [_frowning_]. 'Bout two months, I reckon, Annie, with fair luck.

MRS. KEENEY [_counts on her fingers--then murmurs with a rapt smile_].
That would be August, the latter part of August, wouldn't it? It was on
the twenty-fifth of August we were married, David, wasn't it?

KEENEY [_trying to conceal the fact that her memories have moved
him--gruffly_]. Don't you remember?

MRS. KEENEY [_vaguely--again passes her hand over her eyes_]. My memory
is leaving me--up here in the ice. It was so long ago. [_A pause--then
she smiles dreamily._] It's June now. The lilacs will be all in bloom in
the front yard--and the climbing roses on the trellis to the side of the
house--they're budding--

    [_She suddenly covers her face with her hands and commences to
    sob._]

KEENEY [_disturbed_]. Go in and rest, Annie. You're all worn out cryin'
over what can't be helped.

MRS. KEENEY [_suddenly throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to
him_]. You love me, don't you, David?

KEENEY [_in amazed embarrassment at this outburst_]. Love you? Why d'you
ask me such a question, Annie?

MRS. KEENEY [_shaking him fiercely_]. But you do, don't you, David? Tell
me!

KEENEY. I'm your husband, Annie, and you're my wife. Could there be
aught but love between us after all these years?

MRS. KEENEY [_shaking him again--still more fiercely_]. Then you do love
me. Say it!

KEENEY [_simply_]. I do, Annie.

MRS. KEENEY [_gives a sigh of relief--her hands drop to her sides.
Keeney regards her anxiously. She passes her hand across her eyes and
murmurs half to herself_]: I sometimes think if we could only have had a
child--[_Keeney turns away from her, deeply moved. She grabs his arm and
turns him around to face her--intensely._] And I've always been a good
wife to you, haven't I, David?

KEENEY [_his voice betraying his emotion_]. No man has ever had a
better, Annie.

MRS. KEENEY. And I've never asked for much from you, have I, David? Have
I?

KEENEY. You know you could have all I got the power to give ye, Annie.

MRS. KEENEY [_wildly_]. Then do this, this once, for my sake, for God's
sake--take me home! It's killing me, this life--the brutality and cold
and horror of it. I'm going mad. I can feel the threat in the air. I
can't bear the silence threatening me--day after gray day and every day
the same. I can't bear it. [_Sobbing._] I'll go mad, I know I will. Take
me home, David, if you love me as you say. I'm afraid. For the love of
God, take me home!

    [_She throws her arms around him, weeping against his shoulder.
    His face betrays the tremendous struggle going on within him. He
    holds her out at arm's length, his expression softening. For a
    moment his shoulders sag, he becomes old, his iron spirit weakens
    as he looks at her tear-stained face._]

KEENEY [_dragging out the words with an effort_]. I'll do it, Annie--for
your sake--if you say it's needful for ye.

MRS. KEENEY [_with wild joy--kissing him_]. God bless you for that,
David!

    [_He turns away from her silently and walks toward the
    companion-way. Just at that moment there is a clatter of footsteps
    on the stairs and the Second Mate enters the cabin._]

MATE [_excitedly_]. The ice is breakin' up to no'the'ard, sir. There's a
clear passage through the floe, and clear water beyond, the lookout
says.

    [_Keeney straightens himself like a man coming out of a trance.
    Mrs. Keeney looks at the Mate with terrified eyes._]

KEENEY [_dazedly--trying to collect his thoughts_]. A clear passage? To
no'the'ard?

MATE. Yes, sir.

KEENEY [_his voice suddenly grim with determination_]. Then get her
ready and we'll drive her through.

MATE. Aye, aye, sir.

MRS. KEENEY [_appealingly_]. David! David!

KEENEY [_not heeding her_]. Will the men turn to willin' or must we drag
'em out?

MATE. They'll turn to willin' enough. You put the fear o' God into 'em,
sir. They're meek as lambs.

KEENEY. Then drive 'em--both watches. [_With grim determination._]
They's whale t'other side o' this floe and we're agoin' to git 'em.

MATE. Aye, aye, sir.

    [_He goes out hurriedly. A moment later there is the sound of
    scuffling feet from the deck outside and the Mate's voice shouting
    orders._]

KEENEY [_speaking aloud to himself--derisively_]. And I was agoin' home
like a yaller dog!

MRS. KEENEY [_imploringly_]. David!

KEENEY [_sternly_]. Woman, you ain't adoin' right when you meddle in
men's business and weaken 'em. You can't know my feelin's. I got to
prove a man to be a good husband for ye to take pride in. I got to git
the ile, I tell ye.

MRS. KEENEY [_supplicatingly_]. David! Aren't you going home?

KEENEY [_ignoring this question--commandingly_]. You ain't well. Go and
lay down a mite. [_He starts for the door._] I got to git on deck.

    [_He goes out. She cries after him in anguish, "David!" A pause.
    She passes her hand across her eyes--then commences to laugh
    hysterically and goes to the organ. She sits down and starts to
    play wildly an old hymn, "There is rest for the weary." Keeney
    reënters from the doorway to the deck and stands looking at her
    angrily. He comes over and grabs her roughly by the shoulder._]

KEENEY. Woman, what foolish mockin' is this? [_She laughs wildly and he
starts back from her in alarm._] Annie! What is it? [_She doesn't answer
him. Keeney's voice trembles._] Don't you know me, Annie?

    [_He puts both hands on her shoulders and turns her around so that
    he can look into her eyes. She stares up at him with a stupid
    expression, a vague smile on her lips. He stumbles away from her,
    and she commences softly to play the organ again._]

KEENEY [_swallowing hard--in a hoarse whisper, as if he had difficulty
in speaking_]. You said--you was agoin' mad--God!

    [_A long wail is heard from the deck above, "Ah, bl-o-o-o-ow!" A
    moment later the Mate's face appears through the skylight. He
    cannot see Mrs. Keeney._]

MATE [_in great excitement_]. Whales, sir--a whole school of 'em--off
the star-b'd quarter 'bout five miles away--big ones!

KEENEY [_galvanized into action_]. Are you lowerin' the boats?

MATE. Yes, sir.

KEENEY [_with grim decision_]. I'm acomin' with ye.

MATE. Aye, aye, sir. [_Jubilantly._] You'll git the ile now right
enough, sir.

    [_His head is withdrawn and he can be heard shouting orders._]

KEENEY [_turning to his wife_]. Annie! Did you hear him? I'll git the
ile. [_She doesn't answer or seem to know he is there. He gives a hard
laugh which is almost a groan._] I know you're foolin' me, Annie. You
ain't out of your mind--[_Anxiously._] be you? I'll git the ile now
right enough--jest a little while longer, Annie--then we'll turn
home'ard. I can't turn back now, you see that, don't you? I've got to
git the ile. [_In sudden terror._] Answer me! You ain't mad, be you?

    [_She keeps on playing the organ, but makes no reply. The Mate's
    face appears again through the skylight._]

MATE. All ready, sir.

    [_Keeney turns his back on his wife and strides to the doorway,
    where he stands for a moment and looks back at her in anguish,
    fighting to control his feelings._]

MATE. Comin', sir?

KEENEY [_his face suddenly grows hard with determination_]. Aye.

    [_He turns abruptly and goes out. Mrs. Keeney does not appear to
    notice his departure. Her whole attention seems centered in the
    organ. She sits with half-closed eyes, her body swaying a little
    from side to side to the rhythm of the hymn. Her fingers move
    faster and faster and she is playing wildly and discordantly as
    the_


  _Curtain falls._]




THE NURSERY MAID OF HEAVEN

  A MIRACLE PLAY

  BY THOMAS WOOD STEVENS


  Based on a story by Vernon Lee.
  Copyright, 1920, by Thomas Wood Stevens.
  All rights reserved.


  THE NURSERY MAID OF HEAVEN was first produced by the School of the
  Drama, Carnegie Institute of Technology, Pittsburgh, Pa., on the night
  of November 14, 1919, with the following cast:

    SISTER BENVENUTA                     _Hazel Beck_.
    SISTER GRIMANA                       _Alicia S. Guthrie_.
    SISTER ROSALBA                       _Grey McAuley_.
    THE ABBESS                           _Dorothy Rubinstein_.
    THE SISTER SACRISTAN                 _Inez D. R. Hazel_.
    ATALANTA BADOER [_a novice_]         _Carolyn McCampbell_.
    ABBE FILOSI                          _Wm. R. Dean_.
    THE PUPPET MAN                       _Lawrence Paquin_.
    BEELZEBUBB SATANASSO                 _James S. Church_.

  SCENE I:   The Chapter-Room of the Convent of Our Lady of the
               Rosebush, Cividale.
  SCENE II:  Benvenuta's cell.
  SCENE III: The Chapter-Room.

  TIME: _Early in the eighteenth century. Some days elapse between
  scenes_.

  Stage settings and properties by ALEXANDER WYCKOFF and DAVID S.
  GAITHER.

  Lightning by ARLEIGH B. WILLIAMSON.

  Costumes by SARA E. BENNETT and LELA MAY AULTMAN.

  Music by CHARLES PEARSON.


  The amateur and professional stage rights to THE NURSERY MAID OF
  HEAVEN are reserved by the author. Applications for permission to
  produce the play should be addressed to Frank Shay, Stewart & Kidd
  Company, Cincinnati, Ohio. No performance may be given without his
  consent.



THE NURSERY MAID OF HEAVEN

A MIRACLE PLAY BY THOMAS WOOD STEVENS


    [_SCENE I: Atalanta, the novice, sits, rebellious and sullen, on
    the steps of the Mother Superior's daïs. From time to time nuns
    and novices pass across the stage to the left, on their way to the
    refectory. Sister Grimana, an old nun, comes down to Atalanta
    purposefully._]


GRIMANA. Sulking again, are you? Waiting for Sister Benvenuta, are you?

    [_Atalanta is silent._]

Remembering things that are really no concern of yours; and thinking
they concern you because you remember them--doubtless quite
inaccurately. I know. It's a way of the Badoer family--and of the
Loredani, too, for that matter. When you were a child there was
confiture with the bread--and you threw away the crust; and they let you
do it, and now you can't find your vocation.

    [_She taps her foot impatiently._]

Well--well--will you come?

    [_Atalanta is still silent, her face hard with resolution._]

I might mention it to the Sister Sacristan. She'd fetch you.

    [_Atalanta gives her a look of scornful disgust._]

It's as well you didn't say that in so many words, Sister.

    [_Atalanta looks straight before her, a statue of silence._]

Perhaps there is some one you would prefer to have me call, before the
Sister Sacristan comes to fetch you? Sister Rosalba?

    [_No response._]

So it must be Sister Benvenuta, must it?

ATALANTA. I would speak with her.

GRIMANA. Oho! You would speak with her! And so you shall--for the love I
bore your mother when we were children together. But what good she can
do you, with her chatter and laughing--childish laughing and chatter--I
can't see. I'll send her to you. And meantime, count your buttons.
That's my advice. Count your buttons.

    [_She comes close and speaks more confidentially._]

That helps greatly--it did when I was your age.

    [_Grimana goes off. Atalanta mechanically runs her fingers over
    the buttons of her novice's cape; as she arrives at the end of the
    row, she mutters._]

ATALANTA. Even you, Benvenuta!

    [_At the second word she rises abruptly, her hands on the veil._]

Heaven forgive me!

    [_She tears off the veil just as Benvenuta enters from the left.
    Benvenuta limps down around the Mother Superior's throne, and on
    seeing Atalanta with her veil off, bursts into laughter._]

ATALANTA. Even you, Benvenuta! What amuses you so?

BENVENUTA. It's your hair. It's so funny--it's so long since I've seen
your hair, Atalanta, dear.

ATALANTA [_sullenly_]. It's not that I want to talk to you about. You
needn't have laughed.

BENVENUTA. I know, dear. I shouldn't have laughed, but I always do. I'm
so unworthy. I can't seem to help it, though I tell myself, often and
often, that it's trifling and worldly to laugh so much, and undignified,
too, before the children and novices. I will try not to laugh, Atalanta.
Sister Grimana said you wanted me. What is it, dear?

    [_She looks at Atalanta and smothers another laugh._]

Put on your veil, child.

ATALANTA. Don't call me child--I'm only three years younger than you,
and I'm taller.

    [_She puts on the veil again, still sullen._]

BENVENUTA. You're only a novice and I call you a child--very properly,
too. And if you want me to talk to you, you must listen--like a good
child.

    [_A step is heard approaching and a rattle of keys; Atalanta pulls
    at Benvenuta's dress as if to draw her down beside her._]

ATALANTA. It's the Sister Sacristan. Now she'll make me go, and there's
something you must tell me--you must--I beg of you.

    [_The Sister Sacristan comes in and goes straight to Atalanta,
    ignoring Benvenuta. Her keys are audible as she walks._]

THE SISTER SACRISTAN. Well, Mistress Perverse and Disobedient? Not come
to reason yet?

BENVENUTA. Pray you, Sister Sacristan, pardon her. Let me speak with her
a little while--only a little while. Her tasks can wait--

SISTER SACRISTAN. Her tasks! Praise the Blessed Mother, in this noble
house we need not depend on the novices for anything. It's not
that--it's the discipline in the pigeon cot. The Mother Abbess will be
displeased--

BENVENUTA. Pray you, Sister Sacristan. This novice has asked of me some
spiritual admonition. She is my kinswoman, and I cannot refuse it. So I
ask you for a little time with her, to speak to her of spiritual things,
and perhaps bring her some comfort, to the end that her holy vocation
may the sooner come. I ask it in humility, Sister Sacristan.

SISTER SACRISTAN [_crossing to the closet, which she unlocks_].
Admonition, eh?

    [_She takes out some vestments, which she hangs over her arm,
    closing the door._]

BENVENUTA. I ask you to remember, Sister, that last Thursday I took upon
myself the vexed matter of the hair of the two new novices, and that it
throve in my charge.

SISTER SACRISTAN. Yes--throve. You so coddled them that they cried for
you each night after, and are more trouble to the lay sisters than ever.
But since she's your kinswoman--have it as you will. I look for little
effect from your admonitions, I may as well tell you.

    [_She removes her keys and goes out, without locking the closet._]

ATALANTA. That was good of you, Benvenuta. Now, listen to me. I am
unworthy. I am unhappy. I feel no call. Tell me--tell me about the
world, Sister Benvenuta--I beg you, tell me--

BENVENUTA. I will tell you of God's love, and of this holy life--

ATALANTA [_leading her to the stairway, where she sits down_]. Yes--I
know. But first, tell me about the world.

BENVENUTA. I only tell you by way of admonition--that you may see how
hollow is the world, and full of delusion--

ATALANTA. I understand you. Go on.

    [_She draws Benvenuta down beside her._]

BENVENUTA. You must know then, that I--even I, Sister Benvenuta, was a
most worldly little girl. I can remember so clearly how I used to run
madly through the gardens, and roll on the grass like--like a wild
puppy, and bury my face in the roses--till they scratched my nose and
the warm scent made me dizzy. And then I would climb on the wall and
watch the barges go by, with the strong men sculling them, and the women
under the awnings sorting crabs and prawns.

ATALANTA. Tell me about the barge people.

BENVENUTA. That was all I saw of them. And then they would take me to my
lady mother, of a forenoon, while she was having her hair powdered and
curled; and there would be a black page bringing her chocolate, and her
serving cavalier would be leaning beside her mirror taking snuff.

ATALANTA. Yes--tell me about the cavalier servant.

BENVENUTA. That was all I ever saw of him. But he was very worldly, I am
sure.

ATALANTA. I wish you had seen more of him. And your mother? Did she have
little children?

BENVENUTA. You know well I was the youngest of our family. That was why
I was destined for the benefice we possessed in this high born convent.

ATALANTA. Tell me about your father?

BENVENUTA. I used only to see him once in a month, and I was much
frightened of him--he was so noble and so just.

ATALANTA. Oh, he was a father of that sort, was he?

BENVENUTA. And when he did receive me, he had a handkerchief like a
turban around his head, and horn spectacles on his nose, and he would be
making gold with an astrologer, or putting devils in retorts. That was
what he said he was doing, but I know now that he deceived me; he was a
very worldly man, though he was so noble and just.

ATALANTA. Tell me, Benvenuta, when you were in the world, did you ever
see mothers and babies--tiny babies--not old at all?

BENVENUTA. The only one was in the picture in our chapel--the panel in
the center with the Blessed Mother and the little Child Christ. He was
so sweet, and his eyes were as if they would open in a moment and then I
should know what color of eyes they were.

ATALANTA [_glancing toward the Sacristy closet_]. And that's why you so
love the Bambino they keep in the Sacristy closet?

BENVENUTA. Yes.

ATALANTA [_more passionately_]. And was it easy for you,
Benvenuta--always easy in your heart, to give up the world?

BENVENUTA. I was destined for this, dear.

ATALANTA [_rising_]. I am not sure. I was not destined. I am--

BENVENUTA. Ssh! Dear Atalanta. Be quiet. Be calm. Yes, I was worldly,
and I gave it up willingly--

ATALANTA. Yes, it was easy for you, and so you think it should be for
me. You never even saw a little baby with her mother. You were destined,
and you were the youngest--

BENVENUTA. It was for the best. I was unworthy, but I gave up the world
willingly--

ATALANTA [_bitterly_]. Willingly--you were lame, and--

    [_She stops, biting her lips. There is a pause._]

BENVENUTA. Yes. I was a little lame. But I was a worldly little girl.

ATALANTA. Forgive me, dear sister. I meant no hurt.

BENVENUTA. You did not hurt me. [_Another pause._]

ATALANTA. Dear Benvenuta, one thing I must tell you. I must. It happened
just before I came here.

    [_Benvenuta looks at her soberly._]

BENVENUTA. Are you sure it is to me you should tell it?

ATALANTA. It is not a sin--not something I could confess, dear. It was
this. Just as you looked over the wall at the barges, it was. In our
gardens there was a time when the old gardener brought a vinedresser to
help him. And the vinedresser's wife came with his dinner and their
baby. And I came on them eating under the ilex trees, very secretly, of
course. And the baby was clambering over her. She was no older than I am
now--the vinedresser's wife. And she fed the baby at her breast in the
deep shade under the ilexes. And I talked to her. Then the old gardener
came, and of course I walked away, very haughtily, as became a daughter
of the house. But hear me, sister. I cannot forget her, the
vinedresser's wife with the baby clambering over her, under the shade of
the ilex trees, I cannot put her out of my thoughts.

BENVENUTA. I understand you, dear. I cannot put out of my thoughts the
poor little Bambino in the Sacristy closet all the year around, shut up
with the saint's bones and the spare vestments, and he with only a piece
of stiff purple and gold stuff around his middle.

ATALANTA. I cannot think that the same. The vinedresser's baby was
alive--so alive.

BENVENUTA. It is much the same, I think.

ATALANTA. Anyway, I am glad I told you, Benvenuta. Why can I not forget
about it?

BENVENUTA [_laying her hand on Atalanta's head_]. It would be better if
you could forget it, Atalanta. You must go now.

ATALANTA. One moment--don't take your hand away. I had to tell somebody.

    [_Both look off in a sort of dreamy ecstasy, thinking of the two
    babies. Grimana enters again. Atalanta rises._]

ATALANTA. I am full of thankfulness, Sister Benvenuta. I will go to my
task.

    [_Atalanta bows her head and follows Grimana out. A muffled
    droning chorus is heard from the chapel. Benvenuta watches the
    others go off, and then speaks to the Bambino through the door of
    the Sacristy closet._]

BENVENUTA. My dear--my dear little Great One, can you hear my voice
through the door? Dear little child Christ, I am so sorry for you, alone
for days and days in the closet with the holy relics and the wax lights.
And at night it must be very cold for you. I wish I might touch you,
dear little Great One, with my hands.

    [_She tries the door and, finding it unfastened, draws back from it
    a moment._]

It is open; the Sister Sacristan has left it unlocked. For this I am
thankful, for I am sure you put it into her mind to leave it so--or that
you by your divine power and foresight put it out of her mind to lock it
as she intended.

    [_She opens the door and looks in._]

If only I could get appointed Sacristan! But I am too young and being
lame would prevent my getting on to the step-ladders, as a Sacristan
must. But I would never leave you alone among the relics in their
cotton-wool, little Great One. And now--just for a moment lest the
Sister Sacristan come back--I will take you out of the closet.

    [_She brings out the Bambino._]

I will show you the chapter room, for while you have seen all places,
and the high heavens and all the hells, it will be pleasant to you to
see the chapter room, after so long in the closet. See, yonder is the
seat of the Mother Abbess. She is very great, and very holy, and of the
high house of the Morosini. And that way is to the refectory and the
work room. And that way is to the chapel--up the stairs. And up that way
are our cells, where I sleep and where I pray to dream of you, little
Great One. Touch my cheek, I pray you.... How cold your hands are!...
Touch my cheek as she said the vinedresser's babe touched his mother's--

    [_She stops suddenly, and then reverently returns the Bambino to
    his place. She kneels before the open door._]

Forgive me, dear little Child Christ. I spoke not in vain glory. But all
my life I have waited, not knowing for what ... but happy ... dreaming
that sometime.... If it be a sin I will confess it--I will.

    [_Again the rattle of keys is heard. Benvenuta stands up hurriedly
    and speaks in a half whisper._]

She is coming back to lock the closet. But I will get you a coat for the
cold nights. Your hands were so cold. I will get you a warm coat--that I
promise, dear little Great One.

    [_She closes the door and stands before it looking consciously
    innocent, as the Sister Sacristan enters. The Sister Sacristan is
    not deceived, however._]

SISTER SACRISTAN. By your leave, Sister Benvenuta.

    [_She ostentatiously locks the closed door._]

BENVENUTA. Sister Sacristan, I trust the novice you left in my charge
has returned to her task.

SISTER SACRISTAN. I trust she has.

BENVENUTA [_after a pause_]. I wish I might help you with your duties
sometimes, Sister.

SISTER SACRISTAN. I do not need you, little sister.

BENVENUTA. I am sorry.

    [_Mechanically she counts her buttons._]

    [_Enter the Abbess._]

THE ABBESS [_to the Sacristan_]. Sister, go into the chapel and tell the
Reverend Father that the Bolognese puppet man is waiting, and say that I
wish to see him here; and bid the Reverend Father bring the manuscript
of his poem for Shrove Tuesday.

    [_The Sister Sacristan goes out. Benvenuta remains, waiting
    patiently for a word from the Abbess._]

Well, my little sister?

BENVENUTA. I pray you, Mother.

ABBESS. I listen, little sister.

BENVENUTA. It is about the little Child Christ. I pray you that a coat
may be made for him--a warm coat of soft silk; for at Christmas he lies
out in the draughty manger before the altar, and even at other times he
is very cold at night here in the Sacristy closet. And I pray you,
Mother?

ABBESS. I listen.

    [_Reënter the Sister Sacristan._]

BENVENUTA. That I may help with the making of the coat, for all that I
sew so badly.

ABBESS [_smiling_]. Truly, our little sister Benvenuta Loredan was born
to be the nursery-maid of Heaven.

SISTER SACRISTAN. Is it for me to know also, Mother?

ABBESS. Our little sister wishes that a coat of warm silk be made for
the little Bambino, against next Christmas in the cold of the chapel.

SISTER SACRISTAN. I suspected something of that kind.

ABBESS. You do not approve, sister?

SISTER SACRISTAN. No, mother. It would be taking the time and money from
the redressing of the skeleton of Saint Prosdoscimus, which is a most
creditable relic, of unquestioned authenticity, with real diamond loops
in his eye holes; this skeleton ought to be made fit to exhibit for
veneration. And besides, this Bambino never had any clothes, and so far
as I know never wanted any. The purple sash is only for modesty's sake.
And as for such a new-fangled proposal coming from Sister
Benvenuta--that alone--

ABBESS. That will do. Fie, fie, little sister. The Sacred Bambino is not
your serving Cavalier, that you should wish to cover him with silk and
velvet. Is the Reverend Father coming?

SISTER SACRISTAN. Immediately, mother. He only stayed to gather his
manuscript.

ABBESS. Call in the man with the puppets.

    [_Exit Sister Sacristan._]

And now, little sister, you may go. You see it is not wise, ... your
thought for the Bambino.

BENVENUTA. No, mother. I see it is not wise.

    [_Benvenuta goes up the staircase and off at the left.--The Abbess
    seats herself in the chair of State. The Father Confessor comes in
    from the Chapel._]

ABBESS. You are welcome, Father.

ABBE FILOSI [_bowing very low_]. Happy greetings, Reverendissima.

ABBESS. I have sent for you because the puppet man, the Bolognese one
you sent for, has come to make his bargain for the Shrove-tide play, and
I wished you to be present, lest he fail to serve your inspiration
worthily.

ABBE FILOSI. I am grateful for your care in the matter, Reverendissima.

    [_Enter Sister Sacristan._]

ABBESS. The fellow is waiting?

    [_The Sister Sacristan bows._]

Show him in.

    [_The Sister Sacristan goes out._]

And now, Father, I pray that you will make terms for your play, as you
please.

ABBE FILOSI. Perhaps I had better not do that, Reverendissima. Poets are
proverbially improvident--

ABBESS. That does not matter in the least. Whatever he charges, I shall
beat him down.

    [_The Sister Sacristan brings in the Puppet Man, who carries a bag
    of his puppets on his arm. He bows extravagantly to the Abbess._]

PUPPET MAN. Excellenza Reverendissima, my prayers shall in the future be
lightened by the memory of your presence. Reverend Father, I am humbly
your servant.

    [_The Abbess nods to Father Filosi._]

ABBE FILOSI. You have been summoned here, sir, with regard to the Shrove
Tuesday play which her Excellenza condescends to give for the
edification of the friends of this noble convent. She has commissioned
me to write the poem, and she graciously proposes to allow you to
perform it with your puppets.

PUPPET MAN. I am honored, and in me all my craft is honored.

ABBE FILOSI. I have here the manuscript of my poor device.

PUPPET MAN. I cannot have so excellent a work so slightly spoken of.

ABBE FILOSI. A trifle ... a trifle. But I trust, when you have done your
part, it may amuse the novices and the ladies--noble guests of Our Lady
of the Rosebush.

PUPPET MAN. Is it from the gospels, or a saint's story?

ABBE FILOSI. Humbly, it is the story of Judith.

PUPPET MAN. Humbly, as an artist, I am filled with delight. And I have
for it just the figures you could wish. A Judith, lovely beyond the
power of song, and a Prince, heavy with gold, and a cavalier for the
lady--

ABBE FILOSI. That will not serve. In my play she goes with only her
maid-servant to the tent of the Holophernes.

PUPPET MAN. It is not usual, in Venice. Will it not be deemed strange by
the ladies present?

ABBE FILOSI. Better so, than its author be deemed ignorant by the
learned Reverendissima, who will grace your performance personally.

PUPPET MAN [_stiffly_]. I bow to your learning, Reverend Father.

ABBE FILOSI. My poem will require of you some artistry, and not all of
the stale and accustomed sort.

    [_The Puppet Man bows._]

I shall require, for example, that the head of the Holophernes be
actually and visibly severed.

PUPPET MAN. I will undertake it, and moreover, I will promise a goodly
flow of red blood from the corpus of the Holophernes.

ABBE FILOSI. Excellent. Further, there is required a Triumph of Judith,
in a car of state, and a figure of Time, speaking, and a Religion, out
of the clouds, who speaks some verse in praise of the Reverendissima and
of the noble house of the Morosini. All this must be carried out
precisely.

PUPPET MAN. All this I undertake, seeing how famous is this convent, and
of how illustrious a house is its Abbessa. Suffer me to inquire if the
entire poem is of a lofty and tragic nature.

ABBE FILOSI. Certainly.

PUPPET MAN. This is a great honor to me, but a ruinous one as well. For
I see I shall have no opportunity to bring on my most potent figures--my
Harlequino with the seven wires, and--

ABBE FILOSI. Harlequino does not appear in the poem.

PUPPET MAN. But might he not appear in an interlude? Let me suggest, in
all humility, that I might perform an interlude between the Harlequino
and the serving-wench of Judith, after the death of the Holophernes?

ABBE FILOSI. Dio, dio--what a profanation!

ABBESS. Come, come, your Reverence, I see no profanation in it. We must
not be too severe--too lofty. Think of our guests, and of the novices,
mere children in heart--who will be witnessing our play. Let there be
something in it for the liking of all, I should say.

ABBE FILOSI. But, Reverendissima--

PUPPET MAN. I could assure you of the success of the poem, if you would
permit it.

ABBESS. I am sure it will be permitted. And now, sir, there are some
other matters to be settled. First, we shall require that you bring here
your puppets, in advance of the play, for our inspection, lest there be
anything ungodly and unfit about them.

PUPPET MAN. It is the custom. I have brought some; and you shall have
the others when I have conned the reverend Father's poem, and know which
ones shall be required.

    [_Opens his bag and takes out puppets._]

Here is a lady who might serve for Judith. And here a Prince, though I
have a richer one, better perhaps for the Holophernes. And here a
devil--a Satanasso, and here--

ABBESS. Leave them all on the table. I will have them examined at
leisure. Now, sir, tell me what you expect to be paid for this
performance?

PUPPET MAN [_fingering his manuscript_]. Reverendissima, considering the
difficulties of the poem, and the Holophernes to be visibly beheaded,
and the great fame of this convent, that is said to require of every
novice sixteen quarterings to her crest and a thousand ducats of dowry,
and considering the illustrious family of which the Abbessa herself
descends--I will perform the poem in the best manner for twelve ducats.

ABBESS. Considering just the matters you mention, and the honor to you
to bring your puppets into this convent at all, you shall have five
ducats.

PUPPET MAN. Five ducats--Reverendissima, I cannot have heard you
aright--five ducats.

ABBESS. Five ducats.

PUPPET MAN. Mercy of the Saints! Five ducats for Shrove Tuesday, and a
Holophernes to be visibly beheaded--in a most illustrious convent, too.
It is ruin to me, Reverendissima--black ruin.

ABBESS. Five ducats you shall have.

PUPPET MAN [_starting to put his puppets back in the bag_]. It is not
possible, Reverendissima. No one of my craft could do it--even the worst
of them would ask more than I have. Mere jugglers and bunglers from
Padua would ask twenty ducats. And the fame of this convent! I see I
have been deceived,--

ABBESS. Be silent, sir. You cannot trifle with me. Put down your
trinkets. Do you know who I am, and of what family in the world? Well,
sir?

PUPPET MAN [_slowly putting down his puppets again_]. Maybe it will
profit me in the sight of the Saints--

ABBESS. I need not warn you further. Be prepared for the performance in
the best style against Shrove Tuesday. And if all goes well, I may add a
ducat to your fee.

    [_She taps a gong on the table, and the Sister Sacristan enters.
    The Puppet Man, dismissed, bows himself out, clutching the
    manuscript to his breast. The Sacristan follows him out, returning
    at once._]

Now, Father, since the play is yours, it shall also be yours to pass on
the propriety of the figures.

ABBE FILOSI. I do not seek the responsibility, Reverendissima. Will you
not excuse me?

ABBESS. You have some intention in this, Father?

ABBE FILOSI. Will you not excuse me?

ABBESS [_smiling_]. Certainly not. What troubles you about it?

ABBE FILOSI. Reverendissima, I would gladly have passed it in silence.
Your wisdom in matters of the world--and of the Church--is greater than
mine. But look you now. This Judith I think shows more of her bosom than
is seemly.

ABBESS [_with asperity_]. I will instruct you. By the laws on the serene
Republic, a Venetian lady may show one-half of her bosom and no more,
and there is no immodesty in the proceeding. This law the lady Judith
obeys.

ABBE FILOSI. I do not dissent from your wisdom, nor from the law of
Venice. Still, it seems to me there would be more propriety in it if we
were to have a collarette of tissue pinned about her--the eyes of all
the novices, remember--

ABBESS. I remember also our guests, many of them ladies of the first
houses, who would certainly take it amiss, and as a reflection upon
themselves--

ABBE FILOSI. I wish with all my heart, Reverendissima, you had excused
me.

ABBESS [_turning to Sister Sacristan_]. I will ask the Sisters Grimana
Emo and Rosalba Foscarini to examine the puppets.

    [_The Sister Sacristan goes out._]

Their learning in theology may not be profound, but they know the
world's judgment, coming as they do of the first families.

    [_The Abbe Filosi bows low._]

ABBE FILOSI. I shall be at your service, Reverendissima.

ABBESS. I thank you enough for the poem. Farewell.

    [_He bows himself out, at right, as Sister Grimana and Sister
    Rosalba enter left._]

GRIMANA. You have sent for us, Mother?

ABBESS. In the matter of the Shrove Tuesday play--yes. The puppets will
be brought in advance, as usual. These few the show-man has already
left.

GRIMANA. You wish them to be looked over, as usual?

ABBESS. Not quite as usual. This year they are to appear in a play or
poem which the Father Confessor has written for us--dealing with the
story of Judith. Now the good Abbe, though a man of great learning and a
graceful poet withal, has not the advantage of family that some of our
sisters--

GRIMANA. And some of our guests--

ROSALBA. I remember once, at a fête in the gardens of my uncle, the
Doge--

ABBESS. I need instruct you no further. I do not wish anything ungodly
or unfit to appear; nor do I wish anything in the play to suggest that
there is any impropriety in the illustrious audience.

GRIMANA. I understand, Mother. It is chiefly a question of the dressing
of the ladies.

ABBESS. Precisely. I shall leave it in your charge. Remembering, Sister
Grimana, the laws of Venice and the customs of the house of your father,
the most illustrious Admiral, and you Sister Rosalba, the fêtes in the
gardens of your uncle, the Doge--surely it will be properly cared for.

    [_Exit the Abbess._]

GRIMANA. All this because we have been given a bourgeois Confessor--

ROSALBA. No matter for that, Sister. I love puppets. We had once a
puppet festival, when they played the whole history of the Serene
Republic, and there were great ships with puppet sailors--

    [_They begin to separate the puppets with their wires and strings.
    Enter Sister Benvenuta._]

BENVENUTA. Oh, the joy! Are these for the Shrove Tuesday play? If only
we could show them to--

    [_She glances toward the Sacristy closet, stops, and goes on._]

Sister Rosalba, can you make them dance?

GRIMANA. Dance, forsooth--to what music, sister?

ROSALBA. You might sing for them, Sister.

GRIMANA. Aye, so I might.--Time was when I knew tunes enough.

BENVENUTA. There is a lute in the cloister--left from the musical mass.
And my cousin Atalanta can play it--I should like to hear some music
here.

    [_She glances at the closet._]

I'll fetch her.

    [_She goes off to find Atalanta._]

GRIMANA. What personages have we here? This lady for Judith?

ROSALBA. That can scarcely be, Judith was black haired.

GRIMANA. Nothing of the sort. She had hair of a dark red--a smoldering
color.

ROSALBA. Was she not of the tribe?--

GRIMANA. What matters the tribe? In her picture by Titian, in the great
hall of my father's house--

ROSALBA. We had a Judith also--by Jacopo Bellini. He was Titian's
master. Her hair was black.

GRIMANA. You may be right. In our picture by Titian, now I remember it,
the head was so covered with a wonderful jeweled crown that we could see
little of the hair.

    [_Rosalba is somewhat put down by the splendor of Grimana's
    Titian. Benvenuta comes back with Atalanta, who carries a lute. As
    she appears Grimana untangles and holds up another puppet--the
    Beelzebubb._]

GRIMANA. Here's a personage of terror.

    [_She turns the figure and moves it threateningly toward
    Benvenuta, who looks at Beelzebubb and is instantly seized with a
    wild fit of laughter._]

Saint Mark preserve us! You are queerly pleased, Sister. It's not many
that laugh at this figure.

ROSALBA [_reading the figure's label_]. He's Beelzebubb Satanasso,
Prince of all Devils.

BENVENUTA. I pray your pardon. I could not keep from laughing. I can
never look at a devil without laughing. He seems so anxious to
understand, and so important with the responsibility of being Prince of
all Devils.

ROSALBA. You may laugh if you like, but you should remember how ready he
is to slip away with the unwary souls of people who laugh at him. How he
is always in wait, by day and by night, for a wavering thought or a rift
in one's faith--

GRIMANA. See here the pouch he carries to put your soul in. Truly,
Sister, he might pluck you off like a cherry.

ATALANTA [_shuddering_]. Dear Sister Grimana--I beg of you--

GRIMANA. And he comes at the call of the secret thought--that's what
makes him look so anxious--lest he should not be listening when you call
him, and the Saints come to your soul first, and warn it--

ATALANTA. Sister Grimana!

BENVENUTA. Still, I can never look at him without laughing. He is droll.
Atalanta, the lute.

    [_Atalanta brings forward the lute and tries the strings. Rosalba
    takes up the puppet of the lady._]

I saw the show-man. He was a most ill-favored man. Sister Rosalba, do
you think he was excommunicate.

ROSALBA. Of course not. And if he were, that would not make his puppets
excommunicate.

GRIMANA. What if it did? A noble convent has privileges. It would not
matter to us.

ATALANTA. What shall I play?

GRIMANA. Can you play? [_She sings_]:

  Go visto una colomba el cielo andare
  Che la svolava su per un giardino
  In mezzo 'l peto la gavea do ale
  E in boca la tegniva un zenzamino!

ATALANTA. I do not know the air. But I can play a furlana.

BENVENUTA. That will be gay, Atalanta. Play a furlana, I beg you.

GRIMANA. That will serve, Sister Rosalba, your prince.

    [_As Atalanta plays, Grimana manipulates the Judith and Rosalba
    the Prince. They are unskillful and the puppets dance crudely, but
    Benvenuta looks on in ecstasy, falling slowly back until she
    stands by the door of the closet. As she does so two or three more
    nuns and novices come furtively in at the back and stand watching
    the performance. As the dance of the puppets grows more animated
    the Abbess enters with the Sister Sacristan. For a moment the
    others do not see her, and the play continues. Then she speaks
    coldly and evenly._]

ABBESS. Sisters, is this the solemn judgment I bespoke on these
trinkets? Sister Grimana!

    [_Grimana lays down the puppets and comes forward._]

Sister Rosalba!

    [_Rosalba also comes forward._]

I will consider this, and will give out the penances in chapter.

GRIMANA. Yes, Mother.

    [_Rosalba stands with her head bowed and her fingers run along the
    buttons of her cape._]

ABBESS. There has been too much playing of lutes, too much worldly
anticipation and imagining among us. So I have decided that all the holy
relics shall be re-furbished, and all the vestments mended and cleaned,
against Shrove Tuesday. And all other work, whether of embroidery or of
whatever nature, shall wait till this be done. Sister Sacristan, let the
tasks be set at once.

    [_The sisters bow their heads and go out, the Sister Sacristan
    following Rosalba and Grimana off. Benvenuta stands still in an
    attitude of deep humility._]

Well, little Sister?

BENVENUTA. Holy Mother, I am waiting for my penance.

ABBESS. Your penance, Benvenuta?

BENVENUTA. The fault was mine. I brought Atalanta with her lute. I was
to blame for it all. I am heedless, and unworthy, and stained with
worldliness, Mother.

ABBESS. There, there, my child. I will overlook it.

    [_Benvenuta turns away, weeping furtively._]

Come here, little Sister. Why should you weep? I have said I will
overlook it.

BENVENUTA. I weep because I am unworthy to be penanced. I am nothing.

ABBESS. You are nothing? Is not this the very essence of humility?
Little Sister, when I forgave you your fault, did you doubt my wisdom?

BENVENUTA. Yes, holy Mother. Oh, I have sinned in vain glory. I doubted.
But I did not mean to doubt.

ABBESS [_smiling_]. Come hither, little Sister. If I must set you a
penance, what would you have it be?

BENVENUTA. I would have it ... no....

    [_She hesitates._]

ABBESS. Speak, Sister.

BENVENUTA. I would have you set me to the making of a coat for the Holy
Bambino, as I asked of you before.

ABBESS. That would hardly be a penance. And, besides, you sew so badly.

BENVENUTA. Yes, Mother. I sew badly. And it would not really be a
penance.

    [_The Sister Sacristan comes in and takes from the closet some
    cloth and a reliquary or two. She lays them on the table,
    preparing them for work._]

ABBESS. I will speak of this another time. Another time, little Sister.

    [_Benvenuta stands very still. The Abbess turns to the Sister
    Sacristan._]

What have you there?

SISTER SACRISTAN. The fine lawn for the surplices for His Eminence.

ABBESS. That can wait. I do not think it wise to leave the workroom
alone while the relics are being done over.

    [_She stands in the doorway. The Sister Sacristan is about to
    follow, but notices Benvenuta and goes over ostentatiously to lock
    the closet; then she goes out after the Abbess. Benvenuta stands
    still and her eyes go from the closet to the cloth and takes up a
    piece of lawn, and carries it with her to the closet door._]

BENVENUTA. Dear little Great One, I see no way but this to keep my
promise. I do not understand what the Holy Mother means. But I will do
my penance when she determines it. I do sew very badly, dear little
Great One, but I will make the stitches slowly, night by night in my
cell, and every one of them, no matter how far askew, shall have all the
love of my heart drawn tight in it. I have promised you a coat, little
Great One, and I will surely keep my promise.

    [_She steals upstairs in the gathering darkness. The organ in the
    chapel is heard, faintly at first, then swelling in exultation.
    Slowly, after she disappears, the door of the closet opens of
    itself, and from within a golden light glows across the room and
    up the stair. The Curtain Falls._]


    [_SCENE II. In her white-walled cell, with its one high window
    looking over the tree tops into the night sky, Benvenuta sits
    alone, sewing, with great labor and difficulty, by the light of a
    candle. There is a soft knock, and Atalanta slips in, bringing
    something concealed under her cape._]

BENVENUTA. Have you brought it, dear?

ATALANTA. I've got the coat of the gardener's child, but I fear it is
not what you wanted.

BENVENUTA. I'm sure it will serve. Why do you fear for it?

ATALANTA. Because it's the little girl's coat. The boy's I could not
get, for he has but the one, and the nights are so cold.

BENVENUTA. So they are--and we wouldn't have the poor lad shivering.
Perhaps the girl's will serve. Did you get the thread of gold?

ATALANTA. Yes, dear.

    [_There is a pause._]

You wouldn't be happier telling me all about it? Or letting me help you,
perhaps?

BENVENUTA. What good were there in that? You sew as badly as I do,
child.

ATALANTA. It's not kind of you to say so.

BENVENUTA. I'm sorry, Atalanta, dear. And it's most ungrateful of
me--for you are helping me--helping me very much. And as for my telling
you--it's a great secret, and you should be content to know as much as
you do of it.

ATALANTA. I'm afraid I know too much of it now. I'm afraid I ought to be
confessing what I know already.

BENVENUTA. Confessing it. Oh, no; Atalanta, dear--

ATALANTA. I'm afraid I ought--unless you tell me more.

BENVENUTA. Oh, I see. Now, listen, my child. This matter is one
concerning my devotions--a private matter surely, and needing no
confessions from you.

ATALANTA. Then why these secret messages, and the gold thread, and the
gardener's child's coat to be got by stealth?

BENVENUTA. For what I am doing, I would call for help from you--or from
any one--from the Evil One himself, if it would serve. But it is surely
no sin--though it might get you into trouble to help me with it,
Atalanta, dear.

ATALANTA. Prt! That's not what I mind.

BENVENUTA. You--you love me enough to be troubled for my sake, a little,
dear?

ATALANTA [_breaking out_]. I would flout the Mother Abbess to her face
for you, Benvenuta. It's that you try to keep me in the dark that I mind
about it. I'm going.

    [_Atalanta turns sharply and goes. Benvenuta lays out the little
    coat of the gardener's child, and lays her lawn, already cut, upon
    it. She seems discouraged, turns it over, and tries again. Then
    with an air of resolution, she takes it up and sews fiercely,
    pricking her fingers, stopping to put them to her mouth, and going
    on doggedly._]

BENVENUTA. I promised it, dear little Great One, and I would give my
soul to keep my promise, but I fear me it will never comfort you.

    [_She sews for a minute in silence. Then lifts her head with a
    sudden thought, and says aloud with a firm resolution_]:

  I would give my soul.

    [_She waits. After a moment there is a light tapping of footsteps;
    then a marked rapping, as of hoofs on a pavement; she shivers, and
    starts up in sudden terror, as Beelzebubb Satanasso confronts her.
    He is like the Devil Puppet in every respect, but the size of a
    small man. He bows low in a mechanical sort of way as if jointed.
    She gazes at him in wonder, laughs nervously and suppresses her
    laughter._]

BEELZEBUBB [_in a voice like a Jews' harp_]. Sister Benvenuta, did I
hear you call for me, or wish for me to come?

BENVENUTA. Yes, I called you.

BEELZEBUBB. You wished me to help you?

BENVENUTA. Yes.

BEELZEBUBB. You know who I am.

    [_He points to his label._]

BENVENUTA. I know. You are Beelzebubb Satanasso, Prince of all Devils.

    [_She suppresses a laugh._]

BEELZEBUBB. You have made a promise, and you cannot keep it, so you call
for help. I come, for I am always ready. Now tell me precisely what it
is you want.

BENVENUTA. I have promised a coat to the little Child--

BEELZEBUBB. That will do. It were better not to speak the name. What
sort of a coat do you wish?

BENVENUTA. May I have just what I like?

BEELZEBUBB. Certainly you may, my dear--if you are ready to pay for it.

BENVENUTA. I am ready. And I should like a little coat like the one on
the second of the Magi in the Adoration by Bellini that is over the
altar in our chapel at home--in the house of the Duke Loredano.

BEELZEBUBB. Let me understand exactly. The coat is to be like the coat
on the second figure to the left from the center of the picture?

BENVENUTA. Yes--no, there's a Saint Joseph also at the back. He would be
the third--from the Holy--

BEELZEBUBB. I pray you, keep the names of these people out of it.

BENVENUTA. These people!

    [_Benvenuta's hand moves as if she were about to cross herself._]

BEELZEBUBB. And let your hand fall. You were about to make--to make some
sort of sign with it. These practices are very distasteful to me. I
cannot help you--or even stay for an interview--if you persist in them.

BENVENUTA. I beg your forgiveness. I had no intention--

BEELZEBUBB. I believe that--it is merely a habit you have learned--but
it is distasteful to me.

BENVENUTA. I will not offend you again.

BEELZEBUBB. Now to business. You wish of me a coat, a rich coat like
that on the third figure from the center of the picture that is in your
father's chapel at Venice. And the size--

BENVENUTA. To fit the little Child--

BEELZEBUBB [_interrupting sharply_]. I beg of you! I understand. The
coat is of what color?

BENVENUTA. It is the coat of the second of the Magi--

    [_He puts up his hand, and she checks herself._]

It is of carmine silk damask with gold thread, and the inner vest is of
white lawn. I wish it precisely like the picture, since you promise so
much.

BEELZEBUBB. It shall be so. I will undertake to bring you the coat. And
in exchange I ask only that you sign your name here.

    [_He takes out a parchment contract, with a great red seal on it._]

I regret that ink will not do. You must prick one of your fingers. I am
very sorry, but there is no other way.

BENVENUTA. Prick my finger? Once?

BEELZEBUBB. Only once, to secure the drop of blood. I am sorry to ask
it, but--

BENVENUTA. As though it never happened to me before!

    [_She pricks her finger and squeezes out a drop of Blood. He
    whips out a quill pen, and deftly wets it with the blood._]

BEELZEBUBB. You will sign here.

BENVENUTA. And what does it say? I should be loath to sign anything
unworthy of my family, or of this noble convent--

BEELZEBUBB. There is nothing novel about it--the form is quite usual,
and has been signed, I assure you, by many of the highest families in
Venice. It merely binds me at once to furnish you the rich coat, and
you to give me your little flame of a soul--when I come for it. That is
all.

BENVENUTA. Give me the pen.

    [_She signs the contract. He passes his hand thrice across the
    pouch and then takes from it the coat, and lays it across her lap.
    He steps back and bows stiffly, folding the contract and
    smiling._]

BEELZEBUBB. My dear young lady--my dear little sister.

    [_He bows again, and vanishes; again the organ is heard, and
    Benvenuta is left, her face glowing in ecstasy, the carmine coat
    across her knees._]

  [_Curtain._]


    [SCENE III: _The Chapter Room. Night. The Abbess giving orders to
    Grimana, Rosalba, the Sister Sacristan and others, about the
    midnight office._]

ABBESS. All are to be present. None are to be indulged. I beg you, so
inform the sisters.

    [_Rosalba goes out._]

And the novices are all to be in their places. I know the hour is late
for them, and many are young, but this is an exceptional night.
Stay.--The novice Atalanta Badoer--I shall require her apart from the
others. She will be needed with her lute.

GRIMANA. I will look to it, Reverend Mother.

    [_She sets about to gather her embroidery._]

ABBESS. Now in the matter of the relics and vestments?

SISTER SACRISTAN. The relics are all re-furbished and repacked in new
cotton-wool, Reverend Mother.

ABBESS. And the vestments?

SISTER SACRISTAN. The vestments are all in order--

    [_She is about to mention something about the vestments, but stops
    herself._]

ABBESS. Go on.

SISTER SACRISTAN. I must report, as a matter of duty, Reverend Mother,
that certain goods--a piece of fine lawn--cannot be found. It was laid
out here to be used for the new surplice for His Eminence.

ABBESS. I do not like this. Tell me what you know of it.

SISTER SACRISTAN. This is all I know. Except that when I returned here,
the door to the Sacristy Closet was open--

ABBESS. Who was here at the time?

SISTER SACRISTAN. Sister Benvenuta was left here. When I returned she
was gone, and the closet was open, and the lawn--

GRIMANA [_interceding_]. I beg you, Reverend Mother--

ABBESS. Sister Grimana, I have given you your task. Be about it.

    [_Grimana touches the buttons of her cape one by one, and then turns
    and goes out._]

Sister, remember that the Sister Benvenuta comes of the noble house of
the Loredani. Guard your tongue.

    [_The Sister Sacristan stands gloomily biting her lips._]

If she has removed the cloth to some other place, it does not matter.
Remember who she is, and that she is after all a child in mind, in
heart. We will speak no more of this.

SISTER SACRISTAN. No, Reverend Mother.

ABBESS. Send Sister Rosalba to me.

SISTER SACRISTAN. She is coming now, Reverend Mother.

    [_Rosalba comes in and the Sister Sacristan goes out._]

ABBESS. I wish to speak with Benvenuta, Sister.

ROSALBA. I will fetch her, Reverend Mother.

ABBESS. One moment. You have observed her of late?

ROSALBA. Yes, Mother.

ABBESS. She seems pale, and not so strong as she was. And her mind--but
then she was always a simple child.

ROSALBA. Of course, I do not know the cause of her pallor. Perhaps a
penance she is undergoing secretly.

    [_The suggestion is half a question as are those of the Abbess as
    well._]

She is still very young, Reverend Mother.

ABBESS. She has confided nothing to you, nor to Grimana?

ROSALBA. Not to me, Mother. Shall I call Sister Grimana?

ABBESS. No. Send Benvenuta to me. And ask Grimana to send the novice
Atalanta also--a little later.

    [_Rosalba goes out. The Abbess goes over and examines the Sacristy
    Closet door, tries the lock, finds it fast, and returns to her
    chair. Benvenuta enters. She is more pale than before, and looks
    frailer, and her limp is more apparent, but her eyes are wide, and
    rove about the room, and her expression is of one who has found
    her happiness. The Abbess speaks to her kindly._]

ABBESS. My child, I have called you to me because you have seemed so
pale, and I fear you have burdened yourself beyond your strength.

BENVENUTA. No, Reverend Mother. I am not burdened.

ABBESS. You are not performing any secret penance?

BENVENUTA. None, Mother.

ABBESS. Answer me truly, Benvenuta. You have not been contemplating some
penance, and so been filled with anxiety.

BENVENUTA. I look for no penance in this life, Reverend Mother, beyond
such as may be imposed upon me.

ABBESS. Nothing beyond your strength will be imposed. If you have need
of more sleep, I would be willing to relax for you, for a time.

BENVENUTA. I do not need it, Reverend Mother.

    [_Atalanta enters, sees the Abbess, and stands waiting._]

ABBESS. If you should find yourself overburdened, little Sister, come to
me. That will do. Atalanta, one moment.

    [_Atalanta steps forward. Benvenuta starts to go, but lingers._]

I shall need your help with the lute to-night. I know you play it well.
The best lute player among the lay sisters is ill. You can play from
notes?

ATALANTA. If it be not too difficult, Reverend Mother.

ABBESS. It is simple. But I will have them give you the music, against
the time when you will be needed.

    [_The Abbess goes out toward the Chapel. Benvenuta comes down to
    Atalanta._]

BENVENUTA. Atalanta, dear!

ATALANTA. Yes, Benvenuta.

BENVENUTA. There is something I must talk to you about. I have put it
off because I have been deep in my own thoughts. You told me not so long
ago that you could not find your call, that the world still beckoned
you.

ATALANTA. Yes, it did. But I have been calmer since we spoke of it.
There was a thing in my heart that had to be spoken out--

BENVENUTA. Yes.

ATALANTA. I spoke it out to you, and since then it has not troubled me.

BENVENUTA. It was about the vinedresser's baby in your father's garden?

ATALANTA. Yes.

BENVENUTA. You told me about it here--in this room, was it not?

ATALANTA. Yes. Surely it was here. How strangely you speak, Benvenuta.
Have you forgotten? It was after that you asked me to get the gold
thread, and the child's coat.

BENVENUTA. So I did. I had almost forgotten it.

ATALANTA. It was a great comfort to me to tell you, Sister--and to serve
you. Why have you asked nothing more of me?

BENVENUTA. I have all the help I need, now.

    [_A pause. Atalanta looks at Benvenuta wonderingly._]

The vinedresser's baby--did you ever hold him in your arms?

ATALANTA. No.

BENVENUTA. Nor ever felt his lips soft and moist against your cheek, nor
his fingers warm on your neck?

ATALANTA. No. I only saw the child, as I told you.

BENVENUTA. I remember now. You only saw him.

    [_Another pause. Benvenuta is looking toward the Sacristy closet._]

Atalanta, dear, do you know that we can only be happy by pleasing those
we love most--that is what people live for, I think. And dear, remember
this: the happiness you saw on the face of the vinedresser's wife was as
torment beside the joy that is glowing in me.

    [_Her eyes meet Atalanta's for a moment._]

Don't, dear--don't think it too strange. Everything is strange, after
all.

ATALANTA. Your face was like hers, then.

BENVENUTA. Please don't say that, dear. It's--it's foolish--isn't it?
But I told you once I was waiting for something--all my life waiting.
And now--and now!

    [_She touches Atalanta's head, lightly, and goes off upstairs
    toward her cell. Atalanta is left looking after her. Grimana comes
    in._]

GRIMANA. Well, mistress. Prideful over not sitting with the novices this
night, eh? The lute-playing comes in well at last, does it?

ATALANTA. Oh, Sister Grimana, I--

    [_She stops, confused._]

GRIMANA. What is it, child?

ATALANTA. It's Benvenuta. Have you seen her? Have you?--

GRIMANA. Yes, dear, I've seen. She's young. These times come to all of
us, I suppose. But they pass. Calm, child. Count your buttons.

ATALANTA. I was frightened, Sister Grimana.

GRIMANA. Aye, you'll frighten the novices just so in your turn. But just
the same, I wish she wouldn't--

    [_The Abbess reënters, as a bell strikes from the chapel. Rosalba
    comes on from the left, with two or three sisters._]

ABBESS. It is time. Let us all proceed to the chapel.

    [_The Sister Sacristan carrying the lute and some music, enters
    from the chapel._]

Are all the sisters assembled?

SISTER SACRISTAN. All save those who are here, and Sister Benvenuta.

ABBESS. Please you, Sister Grimana, go for Benvenuta.

    [_Grimana goes up the stairs._]

SISTER SACRISTAN. Here is the lute, Atalanta Badoer. The notes are
clear, and the times you are to play them are written there.

ATALANTA. My hands tremble so. I'm afraid I shall fail in it.

ABBESS. Courage, child. I know it is the first time, but you will do
well--I am sure you will do well. Come, let us take our places.

    [_Grimana enters on the steps, in great trouble of mind. She
    carries in her hand the puppet of the Beelzebubb, twisted and
    shattered and singed with fire._]

GRIMANA. Reverend Mother, forgive me. I have seen--I have seen--

    [_She clasps and unclasps her hands, unable to speak._]

ABBESS. What was it, Grimana?

GRIMANA. I scarcely know, Mother. Mary be my shield!

ABBESS. Speak, Sister.

GRIMANA. There was a great light through every crevice of the door of
her cell. And music in the air--like harps and viols d'amour. And on the
floor outside I found this--shattered and half burnt--this puppet. And
from within, sounds--

ABBESS. Tell me all, Sister.

GRIMANA [_her fingers on the buttons of her cape_]. Sounds as of a
mother and her babe, cooing and kissing and caressing each other.

ABBESS. Call the Father Confessor.

    [_The Sister Sacristan goes out toward the chapel._]

We must look to this. If her mind have broken under some penance--

ATALANTA. Let me go--

ABBESS. No. She was so pale--

    [_The Sister Sacristan returns with the Abbe Filosi._]

Reverend Father, the little sister of the house of Loredan--

    [_Then, the upper corridor is filled with a growing light--the
    same radiant gold that streamed from the Sacristy closet. The
    sisters bless themselves and most of them fall on their knees. In
    the light Benvenuta appears walking erect, her lameness gone, and
    holding before her the Christ Child, in a wondrous robe of carmine
    silk damask. She laughs softly with the babe as she passes, and
    when she has passed off toward the chapel, whence the organ is
    again heard, the light fades._]

ABBE FILOSI [_in a hushed voice_]. A miracle!

ABBESS. She is healed! A miracle of the Holy Child. Blessed Mother--thy
Holy Child in our house.

    [_Atalanta goes swiftly up the steps and off after Benvenuta._]

ABBE FILOSI. Let there be a special service of thanksgiving.

ABBESS. Let all hearts be uplifted!

    [_Atalanta returns, trailing her lute behind her, and sinks down at
    the head of the stairway, sobbing._]


  [_Curtain._]




THREE TRAVELERS WATCH A SUNRISE

A PLAY

BY WALLACE STEVENS



Copyright, 1916, by Wallace Stevens.

All rights reserved.


Reprinted from "Poetry" (Chicago) by permission of Mr. Wallace Stevens
and Miss Harriet Monroe. Applications for permission to produce this
play should be addressed to Mr. Wallace Stevens, 125 Trumbull Street,
Hartford, Conn.



THREE TRAVELERS WATCH A SUNRISE

A PLAY BY WALLACE STEVENS


    [_The characters are three Chinese, two negroes and a girl._

    _The scene represents a forest of heavy trees on a hilltop in
    eastern Pennsylvania. To the right is a road, obscured by bushes.
    It is about four o'clock of a morning in August, at the present
    time._

    _When the curtain rises, the stage is dark. The limb of a tree
    creaks. A negro carrying a lantern passes along the road. The
    sound is repeated. The negro comes through the bushes, raises his
    lantern and looks through the trees. Discerning a dark object
    among the branches, he shrinks back, crosses stage, and goes out
    through the wood to the left._

    _A second negro comes through the bushes to the right. He carries
    two large baskets, which he places on the ground just inside of
    the bushes. Enter three Chinese, one of whom carries a lantern.
    They pause on the road,_]


  SECOND CHINESE. All you need,
  To find poetry,
  Is to look for it with a lantern. [_The
  Chinese laugh._]

  THIRD CHINESE. I could find it without,
  On an August night,
  If I saw no more
  Then the dew on the barns.

    [_The Second Negro makes a sound to attract their attention. The
    three Chinese come through the bushes. The first is short, fat,
    quizzical, and of middle age. The second is of middle height, thin
    and turning gray; a man of sense and sympathy. The third is a
    young man, intent, detached. They wear European clothes._]

  SECOND CHINESE [_glancing at the baskets_].
  Dew is water to see,
  Not water to drink:
  We have forgotten water to drink.
  Yet I am content
  Just to see sunrise again.
  I have not seen it
  Since the day we left Pekin.
  It filled my doorway,
  Like whispering women.

  FIRST CHINESE. And I have never seen it.
  If we have no water,
  Do find a melon for me
  In the baskets.

    [_The Second Negro, who has been opening the baskets, hands the
    First Chinese a melon._]

  FIRST CHINESE. Is there no spring?

    [_The negro takes a water bottle of red porcelain from one of the
    baskets and places it near the Third Chinese._]

  SECOND CHINESE [_to Third Chinese_].
  Your porcelain water bottle.

    [_One of the baskets contains costumes of silk, red, blue and
    green. During the following speeches, the Chinese put on these
    costumes, with the assistance of the negro, and seat themselves on
    the ground._]

  THIRD CHINESE. This fetches its own water.

    [_Takes the bottle and places it on the ground in the center of
    the stage._]

  I drink from it, dry as it is,
  As you from maxims, [_To Second Chinese._]
  Or you from melons. [_To First Chinese._]

  FIRST CHINESE. Not as I, from melons.
  Be sure of that.

  SECOND CHINESE. Well, it is true of maxims.

    [_He finds a book in the pocket of his costume, and reads from it._]

  "The court had known poverty and wretchedness; humanity had invaded
  its seclusion, with its suffering and its pity."

    [_The limb of the tree creaks._]

  Yes: it is true of maxims,
  Just as it is true of poets,
  Or wise men, or nobles,
  Or jade.

  FIRST CHINESE. Drink from wise men? From jade?
  Is there no spring?

    [_Turning to the negro, who has taken a jug from one of the
    baskets._]

  Fill it and return.

    [_The negro removes a large candle from one of the baskets and
    hands it to the First Chinese; then takes the jug and the lantern
    and enters the trees to the left. The First Chinese lights the
    candle and places it on the ground near the water bottle._]

  THIRD CHINESE. There is a seclusion of porcelain
  That humanity never invades.

  FIRST CHINESE [_with sarcasm_]. Porcelain!

  THIRD CHINESE. It is like the seclusion of sunrise,
  Before it shines on any house.

  FIRST CHINESE. Pooh!

  SECOND CHINESE. This candle is the sun;
  This bottle is earth:
  It is an illustration
  Used by generations of hermits.
  The point of difference from reality
  Is this:
  That, in this illustration,
  The earth remains of one color--
  It remains red,
  It remains what it is.
  But when the sun shines on the earth,
  In reality
  It does not shine on a thing that remains
  What it was yesterday.
  The sun rises
  On whatever the earth happens to be.

  THIRD CHINESE. And there are indeterminate moments
  Before it rises,
  Like this, [_With a backward gesture._]
  Before one can tell
  What the bottle is going to be--
  Porcelain, Venetian glass,
  Egyptian ...
  Well, there are moments
  When the candle, sputtering up,
  Finds itself in seclusion, [_He raises the candle in the air._]
  And shines, perhaps, for the beauty of shining.
  That is the seclusion of sunrise
  Before it shines on any house. [_Replacing the candle._]

  FIRST CHINESE [_wagging his head_]. As abstract as porcelain.

  SECOND CHINESE. Such seclusion knows beauty
  As the court knew it.
  The court woke
  In its windless pavilions,
  And gazed on chosen mornings,
  As it gazed
  On chosen porcelain.
  What the court saw was always of the same color,
  And well shaped,
  And seen in a clear light. [_He points to the candle._]
  It never woke to see,
  And never knew,
  The flawed jars,
  The weak colors,
  The contorted glass.
  It never knew
  The poor lights. [_He opens his book significantly._]
  When the court knew beauty only,
  And in seclusion,
  It had neither love nor wisdom.
  These came through poverty
  And wretchedness,
  Through suffering and pity. [_He pauses._]
  It is the invasion of humanity
  That counts.

    [_The limb of the tree creaks. The First Chinese turns, for a
    moment, in the direction of the sound._]

  FIRST CHINESE [_thoughtfully_]. The light of the most tranquil candle
  Would shudder on a bloody salver.

  SECOND CHINESE [_with a gesture of disregard_].
  It is the invasion
  That counts.
  If it be supposed that we are three figures
  Painted on porcelain
  As we sit here,
  That we are painted on this very bottle,
  The hermit of the place,
  Holding this candle to us,
  Would wonder;
  But if it be supposed
  That we are painted as warriors,
  The candle would tremble in his hands;
  Or if it be supposed, for example,
  That we are painted as three dead men,
  He could not see the steadiest light,
  For sorrow.
  It would be true
  If an emperor himself
  Held the candle.
  He would forget the porcelain
  For the figures painted on it.

  THIRD CHINESE [_shrugging his shoulders_].
  Let the candle shine for the beauty of shining.
  I dislike the invasion
  And long for the windless pavilions.
  And yet it may be true
  That nothing is beautiful
  Except with reference to ourselves,
  Nor ugly,
  Nor high, [_Pointing to the sky._]
  Nor low. [_Pointing to the candle._]
  No: not even sunrise.
  Can you play of this [_Mockingly to First Chinese._]
  For us? [_He stands up._]

  FIRST CHINESE [_hesitatingly_]. I have a song
  Called _Mistress and Maid_.
  It is of no interest to hermits
  Or emperors,
  Yet it has a bearing;
  For if we affect sunrise,
  We affect all things.

  THIRD CHINESE. It is a pity it is of women.
  Sing it.

    [_He takes an instrument from one of the baskets and hands it to
    the First Chinese, who sings the following song, accompanying
    himself, somewhat tunelessly, on the instrument. The Third Chinese
    takes various things out of the basket for tea. He arranges fruit.
    The First Chinese watches him while he plays. The Second Chinese
    gazes at the ground. The sky shows the first signs of morning._]

  FIRST CHINESE. The mistress says, in a harsh voice,
    "He will be thinking in strange countries
    Of the white stones near my door,
    And I--I am tired of him."
  She says sharply, to her maid,
    "Sing to yourself no more."

  Then the maid says, to herself,
    "He will be thinking in strange countries
    Of the white stones near her door;
    But it is me he will see
    At the window, as before.

    "He will be thinking in strange countries
    Of the green gown I wore.
    He was saying good-by to her."
  The maid drops her eyes and says to her mistress,
    "I shall sing to myself no more."

  THIRD CHINESE. That affects the white stones,
  To be sure. [_They laugh._]

  FIRST CHINESE. And it affects the green gown.

  SECOND CHINESE. Here comes our black man.

    [_The Second Negro returns, somewhat agitated, with water but
    without his lantern. He hands the jug to the Third Chinese. The
    First Chinese from time to time strikes the instrument. The Third
    Chinese, who faces the left, peers in the direction from which the
    negro has come._]

  THIRD CHINESE. You have left your lantern behind you.
  It shines, among the trees,
  Like evening Venus in a cloud-top.

    [_The Second Negro grins but makes no explanation. He seats
    himself behind the Chinese to the right._]

  FIRST CHINESE. Or like a ripe strawberry
  Among its leaves. [_They laugh._]
  I heard to-night
  That they are searching the hill
  For an Italian.
  He disappeared with his neighbor's daughter.

  SECOND CHINESE [_confidently_]. I am sure you heard
  The first eloping footfall,
  And the drum
  Of pursuing feet.

  FIRST CHINESE [_amusedly_]. It was not an elopement.
  The young gentleman was seen
  To climb the hill,
  In the manner of a tragedian
  Who sweats.
  Such things happen in the evening.
  He was
  _Un misérable_.

  SECOND CHINESE. Reach the lady quickly.

    [_The First Chinese strikes the instrument twice as a prelude to
    his narrative._]

  FIRST CHINESE. There are as many points of view
  From which to regard her
  As there are sides to a round bottle.

    [_Pointing to the water bottle._]

  She was represented to me
  As beautiful.

    [_They laugh. The First Chinese strikes the instrument, and looks
    at the Third Chinese, who yawns._]

  FIRST CHINESE [_reciting_]. She was as beautiful as a porcelain water
    bottle.

    [_He strikes the instrument in an insinuating manner._]

  FIRST CHINESE. She was represented to me
  As young.
  Therefore my song should go
  Of the color of blood.

    [_He strikes the instrument. The limb of the tree creaks. The
    First Chinese notices it and puts his hand on the knee of the
    Second Chinese, who is seated between him and the Third Chinese,
    to call attention to the sound. They are all seated so that they
    do not face the spot from which the sound comes. A dark object,
    hanging to the limb of the tree, becomes a dim silhouette. The sky
    grows constantly brighter. No color is to be seen until the end of
    the play._]

  SECOND CHINESE [_to First Chinese_]. It is only a tree
  Creaking in the night wind.

  THIRD CHINESE [_shrugging his shoulders_].
  There would be no creaking
  In the windless pavilions.

  FIRST CHINESE [_resuming_]. So far the lady of the present ballad
  Would have been studied
  By the hermit and his candle
  With much philosophy;
  And possibly the emperor would have cried,
  "More light!"
  But it is a way with ballads
  That the more pleasing they are
  The worse end they come to;
  For here it was also represented
  That the lady was poor--
  The hermit's candle would have thrown
  Alarming shadows,
  And the emperor would have held
  The porcelain in one hand ...
  She was represented as clinging
  To that sweaty tragedian,
  And weeping up the hill.

  SECOND CHINESE [_with a grimace_]. It does not sound like an
    elopement.

  FIRST CHINESE. It is a doleful ballad,
  Fit for keyholes.

  THIRD CHINESE. Shall we hear more?

  SECOND CHINESE. Why not?

  THIRD CHINESE. We came for isolation,
  To rest in sunrise.

  SECOND CHINESE [_raising his book slightly_]. But this will be a part
    of sunrise,
  And can you tell how it will end?--
  Venetian,
  Egyptian,
  Contorted glass ...

    [_He turns toward the light in the sky to the right, darkening the
    candle with his hands._]

  In the meantime, the candle shines, [_Indicating the sunrise._]
  As you say, [_To the Third Chinese._]
  For the beauty of shining.

  FIRST CHINESE [_sympathetically_]. Oh! it will end badly.
  The lady's father
  Came clapping behind them
  To the foot of the hill.
  He came crying,
  "Anna, Anna, Anna!" [_Imitating._]
  He was alone without her,
  Just as the young gentleman
  Was alone without her:
  Three beggars, you see,
  Begging for one another.

    [_The First Negro, carrying two lanterns, approaches cautiously
    through the trees. At the sight of him, the Second Negro, seated
    near the Chinese, jumps to his feet. The Chinese get up in alarm.
    The Second Negro goes around the Chinese toward the First Negro.
    All see the body of a man hanging to the limb of the tree. They
    gather together, keeping their eyes fixed on it. The First Negro
    comes out of the trees and places the lanterns on the ground. He
    looks at the group and then at the body._]

  First Chinese [_moved_]. The young gentleman of the ballad.

  THIRD CHINESE [_slowly, approaching the body_]. And the end of the
    ballad.
  Take away the bushes.

    [_The negroes commence to pull away the bushes._]

  SECOND CHINESE. Death, the hermit,
  Needs no candle
  In his hermitage.

    [_The Second Chinese snuffs out the candle. The First Chinese puts
    out the lanterns. As the bushes are pulled away, the figure of a
    girl, sitting half stupefied under the tree, suddenly becomes
    apparent to the Second Chinese and then to the Third Chinese. They
    step back. The negroes move to the left. When the First Chinese
    sees the girl, the instrument slips from his hands and falls
    noisily to the ground. The girl stirs._]

  SECOND CHINESE [_to the girl_]. Is that you, Anna?

    [_The girl starts. She raises her head, looks around slowly, leaps
    to her feet and screams._]

  SECOND CHINESE [_gently_]. Is that you, Anna?

    [_She turns quickly toward the body, looks at it fixedly and totters
    up the stage._]

  ANNA [_bitterly_]. Go.
  Tell my father:
  He is dead.

    [_The Second and Third Chinese support her. The First Negro
    whispers to the First Chinese, then takes the lanterns and goes
    through the opening to the road, where he disappears in the
    direction of the valley._]

  FIRST CHINESE [_to Second Chinese_].
  Bring up fresh water
  From the spring.

    [_The Second Negro takes the jug and enters the trees to the left.
    The girl comes gradually to herself. She looks at the Chinese and
    at the sky. She turns her back toward the body, shuddering, and
    does not look at it again._]

  ANNA. It will soon be sunrise.

  SECOND CHINESE. One candle replaces
  Another.

    [_The First Chinese walks toward the bushes to the right. He
    stands by the roadside, as if to attract the attention of any one
    passing._]

  ANNA [_simply_]. When he was in his fields,
  I worked in ours--
  Wore purple to see;
  And when I was in his garden
  I wore gold ear-rings.
  Last evening I met him on the road.
  He asked me to walk with him
  To the top of the hill.
  I felt the evil,
  But he wanted nothing.
  He hanged himself in front of me.

    [_She looks for support. The Second and Third Chinese help her
    toward the road.--At the roadside, the First Chinese takes the
    place of the Third Chinese. The girl and the two Chinese go
    through the bushes and disappear down the road. The stage is empty
    except for the Third Chinese. He walks slowly across the stage,
    pushing the instrument out of his way with his foot. It
    reverberates. He looks at the water bottle._]

  THIRD CHINESE. Of the color of blood ...
  Seclusion of porcelain ...
  Seclusion of sunrise ...

    [_He picks up the water bottle._]

  The candle of the sun
  Will shine soon
  On this hermit earth. [_Indicating the bottle._]
  It will shine soon
  Upon the trees,
  And find a new thing [_Indicating the body._]
  Painted on this porcelain, [_Indicating the trees._]
  But not on this. [_Indicating the bottle._]

    [_He places the bottle on the ground. A narrow cloud over the
    valley becomes red. He turns toward it, then walks to the right.
    He finds the book of the Second Chinese lying on the ground, picks
    it up and turns over the leaves._]

  Red is not only
  The color of blood,
  Or [_Indicating the body._]
  Of a man's eyes,
  Or [_Pointedly._]
  Of a girl's.
  And as the red of the sun
  Is one thing to me
  And one thing to another,
  So it is the green of one tree [_Indicating._]
  And the green of another,
  Which without it would all be black.
  Sunrise is multiplied,
  Like the earth on which it shines,
  By the eyes that open on it,
  Even dead eyes,
  As red is multiplied by the leaves of trees.

    [_Toward the end of this speech, the Second Negro comes from the
    trees to the left, without being seen. The Third Chinese, whose
    back is turned toward the negro, walks through the bushes to the
    right and disappears on the road. The negro looks around at the
    object on the stage. He sees the instrument, seats himself before
    it and strikes it several times, listening to the sound. One or
    two birds twitter. A voice, urging a horse, is heard at a
    distance. There is the crack of a whip. The negro stands up, walks
    to the right and remains at the side of the road._]


  [_The Curtain Falls Slowly._]




SHAM

  A SOCIAL SATIRE

  BY FRANK G. TOMPKINS


  Copyright, 1920, by Stewart & Kidd Co.
  All rights reserved.


  THREE PEOPLE

    CHARLES, _the Householder_.
    CLARA, _his Wife_.
    THE THIEF.


  Originally produced by Sam Hume as the dedicatory piece of the new
  Arts & Crafts Theater, Detroit, and by Maurice Browne of the Chicago
  Art Theater.


  Reprinted from "The Stewart-Kidd Modern Plays," edited by Frank Shay.
  The professional and amateur stage rights on this play are strictly
  reserved by the author. Applications for permission to produce this
  play should be made to Mr. Frank Shay, care Stewart & Kidd Co.,
  Cincinnati, U. S. A.



SHAM

A SOCIAL SATIRE BY FRANK G. TOMPKINS


    [_SCENE: A darkened room. After a moment the door opens, admitting
    a streak of light. A man peers in cautiously. As soon as he is
    sure that the room is unoccupied, he steps inside and feels along
    the wall until he finds the switch which floods the room with
    light. He is dressed in impeccable taste--evidently a man of
    culture. From time to time he bites appreciatively on a ham
    sandwich as he looks about him, apparently viewing the room for
    the first time. Nothing pleases him until a vase over the mantel
    catches his eye. He picks it up, looks at the bottom, puts it down
    hard, and mutters, "Imitation." Other articles receive the same
    disdainful verdict. The whole room is beneath his notice. He
    starts to sit down before the fire and enjoy his sandwich.
    Suddenly he pauses to listen, looks about him hurriedly for some
    place to hide, thinks better of it, and takes his stand opposite
    the door, smiling pleasantly and expectantly. The door opens and a
    young woman enters with a man at her heels. As she sees the thief
    she stifles a scream and retreats, backing the man out behind her.
    The thief smiles and waits. Soon the door opens again, and the man
    enters with the woman clinging to him. They stand opposite the
    thief and stare at him, not sure what they ought to say or do._]


THIEF [_pleasantly_]. Good evening! [_Pause._] Good evening, good
evening. You surprised me. Can't say I expected you home so soon. Was
the play an awful bore? [_Pause._] We-e-ell, can't one of you speak. I
CAN carry on a conversation alone, but the question-and-answer method is
usually preferred. If one of you will ask me how I do, we might get a
step farther.

CLARA [_breathlessly_]. You--you--[_With growing conviction._] You're a
thief!

THIEF. Exactly. And you, madame? The mistress of the house, I presume.
Or are you another thief? The traditional one that it takes to catch the
first?

CLARA. This--this is OUR house. Charles, why don't you do something?
Don't stand there like a--Make him go away! Tell him he mustn't take
anything. [_Advancing toward the thief and speaking all in one
sentence._] What have you taken? Give it to me instantly. How dare you!
Charles, take it away from him.

CHARLES [_apparently not afraid, a little amused, but uncertain what to
do, finally adopting the bullying tone._] I say, old man, you'd better
clear out. We've come home. You know you can't--come now, give it up. Be
sensible. I don't want to use force--

THIEF. I don't want you to.

CHARLES. If you've got anything of ours--We aren't helpless, you know.
[_He starts to draw something black and shiny from his overcoat pocket.
It might be a pistol, but he does not reveal its shape._]

THIEF. Let's see those glasses. Give them here. [_Takes them from the
uncertain Charles._] Perhaps they're better than mine. Fine cases.
[_Tries them._] Humph! Window glass! Take them back. You're not armed,
you know. I threw your revolver down the cold-air shaft. Never carry one
myself--in business hours. Yours was in the bottom of your bureau
drawer. Bad shape, those bureau drawers were in. Nice and neat on top;
rat's nest below. Shows up your character in great shape, old man.
Always tell your man by his bureau drawers. Didn't it ever occur to you
that a thief might drop in on you some night? What would he think of
you?

CHARLES. I don't think--

THIEF. You should. I said to myself when I opened that drawer: "They put
up a great surface, but they're shams. Probably streak that runs through
everything they do." You ought to begin with real neatness. This other
sort of thing is just a form of dishonesty.

CLARA. You! Talking to US about honesty--in our house!

THIEF. Just the place for honesty. Begin at home. Let's--

CLARA. Charles, I won't stand this? Grab hold of him. Search him. You
hold him. I'll telephone.

THIEF. You can't.

CLARA. You've cut the wires.

THIEF. Didn't have to. Your telephone service has been cut off by the
company. I found that out before I came. I suspect you neglected the
bill. You ought not to, makes no end of trouble. Inconvenienced me this
evening. Better get it put in right away.

CLARA. Charles, do I have to stand here and be insulted?

THIEF. Sit down. Won't you, please! This is your last ham-sandwich, so I
can't offer you any, but there's plenty of beer in the cellar, if you
care for it. I don't recommend it, but perhaps you're used to it.

CLARA [_almost crying_]. Charles, are you going to let him preach to us
all night! I won't have it. Being lectured by a thief!

CHARLES. You can't stop a man's talking, my dear, especially this sort
of man. Can't you see he's a born preacher? Old man, while advice is
going round, let me tell you that you've missed your calling. Why don't
you go in for reform? Ought to go big.

CLARA. Oh, Charles! Don't talk to him. You're a good deal bigger than he
is.

THIEF. Maybe I'll jiu-jitsu him.

CLARA. He's insulting you now, Charles. Please try. I'll hold his feet.

THIEF. No doubt you would. But that wouldn't stop my talking. You'd be
taking an unfair advantage, too; I couldn't kick a lady, could I?
Besides, there are two of you. You leave it to Charles and me. Let's
have fair play, at least.

CLARA. Fair play? I'd like to know--

THIEF. Ple-e-ase, don't screech! My head aches and your voice pierces
so. Let's sit down quietly and discuss the situation like well-bred
people, and when we've come to some understanding, I'll go.

CLARA. Yes, after you've taken everything in the house and criticized
everything else you can't take, our manners and our morals.

CHARLES. But he isn't taking anything now, is he? Let the poor chap
criticize, can't you? I don't suppose he often meets his--er--customers
socially. He's just dying for a good old visit. Lonesome profession,
isn't it, old man?

CLARA. If you WON'T do anything, I'll call the neighbors.

THIEF. No neighbors to call. Nearest one a block away, and he isn't at
home. That comes of living in a fashionable suburb. Don't believe you
can afford it, either. WON'T you sit down, madame? I can't till you do.
Well, then I shall have to stand, and I've been on my feet all day. It's
hardly considerate [_plaintively_]. I don't talk so well on my feet,
either. It will take me much longer this way. [_Clara bounces into a
chair, meaningfully._] Thank you, that's better [_sighs with relief as
he sinks into the easy chair_]. I knew I could appeal to your better
nature. Have a cigarette? [_Charles accepts one from his beautiful
case._] And you, madame?

CLARA [_puts out her hand, but withdraws it quickly_]. Thank you, I
don't care to smoke--with a thief.

THIEF. Right. Better not smoke, anyway. I'm so old-fashioned, I hate to
see women smoke. None of the women in my family do it. Perhaps we're too
conventional--

CLARA. I don't know that I care to be like the women of your family. I
_will_ have one, if you please. No doubt you get them from a man of
taste.

THIEF. Your next-door neighbor. This is--was--his case. Exquisite taste.
Seen this case often, I suppose? [_He eyes them closely._] Great
friends? Or perhaps you don't move in the same circles. [_Clara glares
at him._] Pardon me. Tactless of me, but how could I guess? Well,
here's your chance to get acquainted with his cigarettes. Will you have
one now?

CLARA. I don't receive stolen goods.

THIEF. That's a little hard on Charles, isn't it? He seems to be
enjoying his.

CHARLES. Bully cigarette. Hempsted's a connoisseur. Truth is--we don't
know the Hempsteds. They've never called.

THIEF. That's right, Charles. Tell the truth and shame [_with a jerk of
his head toward Clara_]--you know who.

CLARA. Charles, there isn't any reason, I'm sure--

THIEF. Quietly, please. Remember my head. I'm sorry, but I must decline
to discuss your social prospects with you, and also your neighbors'
shortcomings, much as we should all enjoy it. There isn't time for that.
Let's get down to business. The question we've got to decide and decide
very quickly is, What would you like to have me take?

CLARA [_aghast_]. What would we--what would we like to have you take?
Why--why--you can't take anything now; we're here. Of all the nerve!
What would we like--

THIEF. It gains by repetition, doesn't it?

CHARLES. You've got me, old man. You'll have to come again. I may be
slow, but I don't for the moment see the necessity for your taking
anything.

THIEF. I was afraid of this. I'll have to begin farther back. Look here
now, just suppose I go away and don't take anything [_with an air of
triumph_]. How would you like that?

CHARLES. Suits me to a "T." How about you, my dear? Think you can be
firm and bear up under it?

THIEF. Don't be sarcastic. You're too big. Only women and little men
should be sarcastic. Besides, it isn't fair to me, when I'm trying to
help you. Here am I, trying to get you out of a mighty ticklish
situation, and you go and get funny. It isn't right.

CHARLES. Beg pardon, old man. Try us in words of one syllable. You see
this is a new situation for us. But we're anxious to learn.

THIEF. Listen, then. See if you can follow this. Now there's nothing in
your house that I want; nothing that I could for a moment contemplate
keeping without a good deal of pain to myself.

CLARA. We're trying to spare you. But if you care to know, we had the
advice of Elsie de Wolfe.

THIEF [_wonderingly_]. Elsie de Wolfe? Elsie, how could you! Now, if you
had asked me to guess, I should have said--the Pullman Company. I
shudder to think of owning any of this bric-a-brac myself. But it must
be done. Here am I offering to burden myself with something I don't
want, wouldn't keep for worlds, and couldn't sell. [_Growing a little
oratorical._] Why do I do this?

CHARLES. Yes, why do you?

CLARA. Hush, Charles; it's a rhetorical question; he wants to answer it
himself.

THIEF. I do it to accommodate you. Must I be even plainer? Imagine that
I go away, refusing to take anything in spite of your protests. Imagine
it's to-morrow. The police and the reporters have caught wind of the
story. Something has been taken from every house in Sargent Road--except
one. The nature of the articles shows that the thief is a man of rare
discrimination. To be quite frank--a connoisseur.

CLARA. A connoisseur of what? Humph!

THIEF. And a connoisseur of such judgment that to have him pass your
Rubens by is to cast doubt upon its authenticity. I do not exaggerate.
Let me tell you that from the Hempsteds--[_Clara leans forward, all
interest._]--but that would take too long. [_She leans back._] The
public immediately asks, Why did the thief take nothing from 2819
Sargent Road? The answer is too obvious: There is nothing worth taking
at 2819 Sargent Road.

CHARLES [_comprehendingly_]. Um-hu-m!

THIEF. The public laughs. Worse still, the neighbors laugh. What becomes
of social pretensions after that? It's a serious thing, laughter is. It
puts anybody's case out of court. And it's a serious thing to have a
thief pass you by. People have been socially marooned for less than
that. Have I made myself clear? Are you ready for the question? What
would you like to have me take?

CHARLES. Now, old man, I say that's neat. Sure you aren't a lawyer?

THIEF. I have studied the law--but not from that side.

CLARA. It's all bosh. Why couldn't we claim we'd lost something very
valuable, something we'd never had?

THIEF [_solemnly_]. That's the most shameless proposal I've ever heard.
Yes, you could _lie_ about it. I can't conceal from you what I think of
your moral standards.

CHARLES. I can't imagine you concealing anything unpleasant.

CLARA. It's no worse than--

THIEF. Your moral sense is blunted. But I can't attend to that now.
Think of this: Suppose, as I said, I should take nothing and you should
publish that bare-faced lie, and then I should get caught. Would I
shield you? Never. Or suppose I shouldn't get caught. Has no one entered
your house since you have been here? Doesn't your maid know what you
have? Can you trust her not to talk? No, no, it isn't worth the risk. It
isn't even common sense, to say nothing of the moral aspects of the
case. Why do people never stop to think of the practical advantages of
having things stolen! Endless possibilities! Why, a woman loses a $5
brooch and it's immediately worth $15. The longer it stays lost, the
more diamonds it had in it, until she prays God every night that it
won't be found. Look at the advertising she gets out of it. And does she
learn anything from it? Never. Let a harmless thief appear in her room
and she yells like a hyena instead of saying to him, like a sensible
woman: "Hands up; I've got you right where I want you; you take those
imitation pearls off my dresser and get to hell out of here. If I ever
see you or those pearls around here again, I'll hand you over to the
police." That's what she ought to say. It's the chance of her life. But
unless she's an actress, she misses it absolutely. A thief doesn't
expect gratitude, but it seems to me he might at least expect
understanding and intelligent coöperation. Here are you facing disgrace,
and here am I willing to save you. And what do I get? Sarcasm, cheap
sarcasm!

CHARLES. I beg your pardon, old man. I'm truly sorry. You're just too
advanced for us. Clara, there's an idea in it. What do you think?

CLARA. It has its possibilities. Now if he'll let me choose--Isn't there
a joker in it somewhere? Let me think. We might let you have something.
What do you want?

THIEF [_indignantly_]. What do I want? I--don't want--anything. Can't
you see that? The question is, What do you want me to have? And please
be a little considerate. Don't ask me to take the pianola or the
ice-box. Can't you make up your minds? Let me help you. Haven't you got
some old wedding gifts? Everybody has. Regular white elephants, yet you
don't dare get rid of them for fear the donors will come to see you and
miss them. A discriminating thief is a godsend. All you have to do is
write: "Dear Maude and Fred: Last night our house was broken into, and
of course the first thing that was taken was that lovely Roycroft chair
you gave us." Or choose what you like. Here's opportunity knocking at
your door. Make it something ugly as you please, but something genuine.
I hate sham.

CLARA. Charles, it's our chance. There's that lovely, hand-carved--

THIEF. Stop! I saw it [_shuddering_]. It has the marks of the machine
all over it. Not that. I can't take that.

CLARA. Beggars shouldn't be--

THIEF. Where's my coat? That settles it.

CLARA. Oh, don't go! I didn't mean it. Honestly I didn't. It just
slipped out. You mustn't leave us like this--

THIEF. I don't have to put up with such--

CLARA. Oh, please stay, and take something! Haven't we anything you
want? Charles, hold him; don't let him go. No, that won't do any good.
Talk to him--

CHARLES. Don't be so sensitive, old man. She didn't mean it. You know
how those old sayings slip out--just say themselves. She only called you
a little beggar anyway. You ought to hear what she calls me sometimes.

THIEF. I don't want to. I'm not her husband. And I don't believe she
does it in the same way, either. But I'm not going to be mean about
this. I'll give you another chance. Trot out your curios.

CHARLES. How about this? Old luster set of Clara's grandmother's. I'm
no judge of such things myself, but if you could use it, take it.
Granddad gave it to her when they were sweethearts, didn't he, Clara?

THIEF. That! Old luster? That jug won't be four years old its next
birthday. Don't lay such things to your grandmother. Have some respect
for the dead. If you gave more than $3.98 for it, they saw you coming.

CLARA. You don't know anything about it. You're just trying to humiliate
us because you know you have the upper hand.

THIEF. All right. Go ahead. Take your own risks.

CLARA. There's this Sheffield tray?

THIEF. No.

CHARLES. Do you like Wedgewood?

THIEF. Yes, where is it? [_Looks at it._] No.

CLARA. This darling hawthorne vase--

THIEF. Please take it away. It isn't hawthorne.

CHARLES. I suppose Cloisonné--

THIEF. If they were any of them what you call them. But they aren't.

CHARLES. Well, if you'd consider burnt wood. That's a genuine burn.

THIEF. Nothing short of cremation would do it justice. Of course I've
got to take one of them, if they're all you've got. But honestly, there
isn't one genuine thing in this house, except Charles--and--and the ham
sandwich.

CLARA [_takes miniature from cabinet_]. I wonder if you would treasure
this as I do. It's very dear to me. It's grandmother--

THIEF [_suspiciously_]. Grandmother again?

CLARA. As a little girl. Painted on ivory. See that quaint old coral
necklace. And those adorable yellow curls. And the pink circle comb.
Would you like it?

THIEF. Trying to appeal to my sympathy. I've a good notion to take it to
punish you. I wonder if it IS your grandmother. There isn't the
slightest family resemblance. Look here!--it is!--it's a copy of the
Selby miniature! Woman, do you know who that IS? It's Harriet Beecher
Stowe at twelve. What have you done with my overcoat?

CHARLES. I give up. Here it is. Clara, that was too bad.

CLARA. I wanted to see if he'd know.

CHARLES. There's no use trying to save us after this. We'll just have to
bear the disgrace.

THIEF. Charles, you're a trump! I'll even take that old daub for YOU.
Give it to me.

CHARLES. Wait a minute. You won't have to. Say, Clara, where is that old
picture of Cousin Paul? It's just as bad as it pretends to be, if
genuineness is all you want.

THIEF [_suspiciously_]. Who is Cousin Paul? Don't try to ring in Daniel
Webster on me.

CHARLES. Cousin of mine. Lives on a farm near Madison, Wisconsin.

THIEF. You don't claim the picture is by Sargent or Whistler?

CLARA. It couldn't be--

THIEF [_ignoring her pointedly_]. Do you, Charles?

CHARLES. Certainly not. It's a water color of the purest water, and
almost a speaking likeness.

THIEF. I'll take Cousin Paul. Probably he has human interest.

CHARLES. That's the last thing I should have thought of in connection
with Cousin Paul.

THIEF. Bring him, but wrapped, please. My courage might fail me if I saw
him face to face.

CHARLES [_leaving room for picture_]. Mine always does.

THIEF. While Charles is wrapping up the picture, I want to know how you
got back so early. Your maid said you were going to the Garrick.

CLARA. We told her so. But we went to the moving pictures.

THIEF. You ought not to go to the movies. It will destroy your literary
taste and weaken your minds.

CLARA. I don't care for them myself, but Charles won't see anything
else.

THIEF. You ought to make him. Men only go to the theater anyway because
their wives take them. They'd rather stay at home or play billiards. You
have a chance right there. Charles will go where you take him. By and by
he will begin to like it. Now to-night there was a Granville Barker show
at the Garrick, and you went to the movies to see a woman whose idea of
cuteness is to act as if she had a case of arrested mental development.

CHARLES [_entering, doing up picture_]. Silly old films, anyway. But
Clara will go. Goes afternoons when I'm not here, and then drags me off
again in the evening. Here's your picture, as soon as I get it tied up.
Can't tell you how grateful we are. Shall we make it unanimous, Clara?

CLARA. I haven't the vote, you know. Clumsy! give me the picture.

THIEF. Don't try to thank me. If you'll give up this shamming I'll feel
repaid for my time and trouble [_looking at watch_]. By Jove! it's far
too much time. I must make tracks this minute. I'll feel repaid if
you'll take my advice about the theater for one thing, and--why don't
you bundle all this imitation junk together and sell it and get one
genuine good thing?

    [_Clara leaves, apparently for more string._]

CHARLES. Who'd buy them?

THIEF. There must be other people in the world with taste as infallibly
bad as yours.

CHARLES. Call that honest?

THIEF. Certainly. I'm not telling you to sell them as relics. You
couldn't in the first place, except to a home for the aged and indigent
blind. But I know a man who needs them. They'd rejoice his heart. They'd
be things of beauty to him. I wish I could help you pick out something
with your money. But I don't dare risk seeing you again.

CLARA [_reëntering, with the picture tied_]. Why not? There's honor
among thieves.

THIEF. There _is_. If you were thieves, I'd know just how far to trust
you. Now, I'd be willing to trust Charles as man to man. Gentleman's
agreement. But [_looking at Clara_] I don't know--

CHARLES. Clara is just as honest as we are--with her own class. But your
profession puts you outside the pale with her; you're her natural enemy.
You haven't any rights. But you've been a liberal education for us both.

THIEF. I've been liberal. You meet me--listen!--there are footsteps on
the porch. I--I've waited too long. Here I've stood talking--

CHARLES. Well, stop it now, can't you? I don't see how you've ever got
anywhere. Hide!

THIEF. No, it can't be done. If you'll play fair, I'm safe enough here
in this room, safer than anywhere else. Pretend I'm a friend of yours.
You will? Gentleman's agreement? [_He shakes hands with Charles._]

CHARLES. Gentleman's agreement. My word of honor.

CLARA [_offers her hand as Charles starts for the door_]. Gentleman's
agreement, but only in this. I haven't forgiven you for what you've
said. If I ever get you in a tight place--look out.

THIEF [_taking her hand_]. Don't tell more than one necessary lie. It's
so easy to get started in that sort of thing. Stick to it that I'm a
friend of the family and that I've been spending the evening. God knows
I have!

CLARA. I'll try to stick to that. But can't I improvise a little? It's
such fun!

THIEF. Not a bit. Not one little white lie.

CHARLES [_entering with a young man behind him_]. It's a man from the
_News_. He says he was out here on another story and he's got a big
scoop. There's been some artistic burglary in the neighborhood and he's
run onto it. I told him we hadn't lost anything and that we don't want
to get into the papers; but he wants us to answer a few questions.

REPORTER. Please do. I need some stuff about the neighborhood.

CLARA. I don't know, Charles, but that it's our duty. [_She smiles
wickedly at the thief._] Something we say may help catch the thieves.
Perhaps we owe it to law and order.

REPORTER. That's right. Would you object if I used your name?

    [_Charles and the thief motion to Clara to keep still, but
    throughout the rest of the conversation she disregards their
    frantic signals, and sails serenely on._]

CLARA. I don't know that we should mind if you mention us nicely. Will
the Hempsteds be in? I shan't mind it, if they don't.

REPORTER. Good for you. Now, have you--

CLARA. We have missed something. We haven't had time to look thoroughly,
but we do know that one of our pictures is gone.

    [_The men are motioning to her, but she goes on sweetly._]

REPORTER. A-a-ah! Valuable picture. He hasn't taken anything that wasn't
best of its class. Remarkable chap. Must be the same one that rifled the
Pierpont collection of illuminated manuscripts. Culled the finest pieces
without a mistake.

THIEF [_interested_]. He made one big mistake. He--[_stops short_].

REPORTER. Know the Pierponts?

THIEF. Er--ye-es. I've been in their house. [_Retires from the
conversation. Clara smiles._]

REPORTER. Well, believe me, if he's taken anything, your reputation as
collectors is made. Picture, eh? Old master, I suppose?

CLARA. A family portrait. We treasured it for that. Associations, you
know.

REPORTER. Must have been valuable, all right. Depend on him to know. He
doesn't run away with any junk. Who was the artist?

CLARA. We don't know--definitely.

REPORTER. Never heard it attributed to anybody?

CLARA. We don't care to make any point of such things. But there have
been people who have thought--it was not--a--a Gilbert Stuart.

CHARLES. Clara!

CLARA. I don't know much about such things myself. But our friend [_nods
toward the thief_], Mr.--Mr. Hibbard--who has some reputation as a
collector, has always said that it was--not. In spite of that fact, he
had offered to take it off our hands.

CHARLES. Clara, you're going too far--

REPORTER. She's quite right. You're wrong, Mr. Hibbard. You may be good,
but this fellow KNOWS. Too bad you didn't take it while the taking was
good. This fellow never sells. Of course he can't exhibit. Just loves
beautiful things. No, sir, it was real.

THIEF [_between his teeth_]. It wasn't. Of all the--

CLARA [_smiling_]. You take your beating so ungracefully, Mr. Hibbard.
The case, you see, is all against you.

THIEF. Be careful. The picture may be found at any minute. Don't go too
far.

CLARA. I hardly think it will be found unless the thief is caught. And I
have such perfect confidence in his good sense that I don't expect that.

REPORTER. Lots of time for a getaway. When was he here?

CLARA. He was gone when we came from the theater. But we must almost
have caught him. Some of our finest things were gathered together here
on the table ready for his flight. How he must have hated to leave them,
all the miniatures and the cloisonné. I almost feel sorry for him.

CHARLES. I do.

CLARA. You see, we went to the Garrick for the Granville Barker show.
Mr. Hibbard took us [_she smiles sweetly at him_]. I'm devoted to the
best in drama and I always insist that Charles and Mr. Hibbard shall
take me only to the finest things. And now we come home to find
our--you're sure it was a Gilbert Stuart?--gone.

THIEF. I've got to be getting out of here! Can't stay a minute longer!
Charles, I wish you luck in that reform we were speaking of, but I
haven't much hope [_looking at Clara_]. There is such a thing as total
depravity. Oh, here! [_taking package from under his arm_]. What am I
thinking of? I was running away with your package [_hands it to Clara_].

CLARA [_refusing it_]. Oh, but it's yours, Mr. Hibbard. I couldn't think
of taking it. Really, you must keep it to remember us by. Put it among
your art treasures at home, next to your lovely illuminated manuscripts,
and whenever you look at it remember us and this delightful evening,
from which we are all taking away so much. You must keep it--that's part
of the bargain, isn't it? And now are we even?

THIEF. Even? Far from it. I yield you your woman's right to the last
word, and I admit it's the best [_stoops and kisses her hand_].
Good-night, Clara. [_To the reporter._] May I give you a lift back to
town?

REPORTER. Thanks. As far as the Hempsteds' corner. Good-night. Thank
you for this much help. [_Exeunt._]

CHARLES. Thank goodness, they've gone. What relief! That pace is too
rapid for me. You had me running round in circles. But he's got the
picture, and we're safe at last. But don't you think, Clara, you took
some awful risks. You goaded him pretty far.

CLARA. I had to. Did you hear him call me Clara?

CHARLES [_chuckling_]. He doesn't know our name. But he wasn't a bad
fellow, was he? I couldn't help liking him in spite of his impudence.

CLARA. You showed it. You took sides with him against me all the time
the reporter was here. But, you know, he was right about our house. It's
all wrong. The Hempsteds would see it in a minute. I believe I'll clear
out this cabinet and have this room done over in mahogany.

CHARLES. Too expensive this winter.

CLARA. Birch will do just as well--nobody knows the difference. Listen!
is he coming back?

REPORTER [_in the doorway_]. Excuse me--listen. Mr. Hibbard says you've
given him the wrong package. He says you need this to go with the
picture of your grandmother. And he says, sir, that you need to get wise
to your own family. He's waiting for me. Good-night! [_Exit._]

CHARLES [_angrily_]. Get wise to my own family? He may know all about
art [_undoing the picture_], but I guess I know my own relatives.
[_Holds up picture so that audience can see it, but he can't._] And if
that isn't a picture of my own cousin Paul, I'll eat--[_sees Clara
laughing_]. What the devil! [_Looks at picture, which represents George
Washington._] Clara! you did that! [_laughs uproariously_]. You little
cheat!


  [_Curtain._]




THE MEDICINE SHOW

  A COMEDY

  BY STUART WALKER


  Copyright, 1917, by Stewart & Kidd Company.
  All rights reserved.


  THE MEDICINE SHOW was first produced by Stuart Walker's Portmanteau
  Theatre, with the following cast:

    LUT'ER                _Williard Webster_.
    GIZ                   _Edgar Stehli_.
    DR. STEV'N VANDEXTER  _Lew Medbury_.

  CHARACTERS

    LUT'ER.
    GIZ.
    DR. STEV'N VANDEXTER.


  _THE SCENE is on the south bank of the Ohio River. An old soap box,
  a log and a large stone are visible. The river is supposed to flow
  between the stage and the audience. In the background, at the lop of
  the "grade," is the village of Rock Springs._


  Reprinted from "Portmanteau Plays" published by Stewart & Kidd
  Company, Cincinnati, Ohio, by special permission of Stewart and Kidd.
  The professional and amateur stage rights are strictly reserved by
  Mr. Stuart Walker.



THE MEDICINE SHOW

A COMEDY BY STUART WALKER


    [_PROLOGUE: This is only a quarter of a play. Its faults are many.
    Come, glory in them with us._

    _You are a little boy once more lying on your rounded belly on the
    cool, damp sands beside the beautiful river. You are still young
    enough to see the wonder that everywhere touches the world; and
    men are in the world--all sorts of men. But you can still look
    upon them with the shining eyes of brotherhood. You can still feel
    the mystery that is true understanding. Everywhere about you men
    and things are reaching for the infinite, each in his own way, be
    it big or little, be it the moon or a medicine show; and you
    yourself are not yet decided whether to reach for the stars or go
    a-fishing. Brother!_

    _Lut'er enters or rather oozes in._

    _He is a tall, expressionless, uncoördinated person who might be
    called filthy were it not for the fact that the dirt on his skin
    and on his clothes seems an inherent part of him. He has a wan
    smile that--what there is of it--is not displeasing. Strangely
    enough, his face is always smooth-shaven. He carries a fishing
    pole made from a tree twig and equipped with a thread knotted
    frequently and a bent pin for hook._

    _Lut'er looks about and his eyes light on the stone. He attempts
    to move it with his bare foot to the water's edge, but it is too
    heavy for him. Next he looks at the log, raises his foot to move
    it, then abandons the attempt because his eyes rest on the lighter
    soap box. This he puts in position, never deigning to touch it
    with his hands. Then he sits calmly and drawing a fishing worm
    from the pocket of his shirt fastens it on the pin-hook and casts
    his line into the water. Thereafter he takes no apparent interest
    in fishing._

    _After a moment Giz enters._

    _Giz is somewhat dirtier than Lut'er but the dirt is less
    assimilated and consequently less to be condoned. Besides he
    is fuzzy with a beard of long standing. He may have been shaved
    some Saturdays ago--but quite ago._

    _Giz doesn't speak to Lut'er and Lut'er doesn't speak to Giz, but
    Lut'er suggests life by continued chewing and he acknowledges the
    proximity of Giz by spitting and wiping his lips with his hand.
    Giz having tried the log and the rock finally chooses the rock and
    acknowledges Lut'er's salivary greeting by spitting also; but he
    wipes his mouth on his sleeve._

    _After a moment he reaches forward with his bare foot and touches
    the water._]


GIZ. 'Tis warm as fresh milk.

    [_Lut'er, not to be wholly unresponsive, spits. A fresh silence
    falls upon them._]

GIZ. 'S Hattie Brown came in?

    [_Lut'er spits and almost shakes his head negatively._]

She's a mighty good little steam-boat.

LUT'ER. She's water-logged.

GIZ. She ain't water-logged.

LUT'ER. She is.

GIZ. She ain't.

LUT'ER. She is.

GIZ. She ain't.

    [_The argument dies of malnutrition. After a moment of silence Giz
    speaks._]

GIZ. 'S river raisin'?

LUT'ER. Nup!

    [_Silence._]

GIZ. Fallin'?

LUT'ER. Nup!

GIZ. Standin' still?

LUT'ER. Uh!

    [_The conversation might continue if Giz did not catch a mosquito on
    his leg._]

GIZ. Gosh! A galler-nipper at noonday!

    [_Lut'er scratches back of his ear warily._]

GIZ. An' look at the whelp!

    [_Giz scratches actively, examines the wound and anoints it with
    tobacco juice._

    _The Play would be ended at this moment for lack of varied action
    if Dr. Stev'n Vandexter did not enter._

    _He is an eager, healthy-looking man with a whitish beard that
    long washing in Ohio River water has turned yellowish. He wears
    spectacles and his clothes and general appearance are somewhat an
    improvement upon Lut'er and Giz. Furthermore he wears what were
    shoes and both supports of his suspenders are fairly intact. He is
    whittling a piece of white pine with a large jack-knife._

    _Seeing Lut'er and Giz he draws the log between them and sits._

    _After a moment in which three cuds are audibly chewed, Dr. Stev'n
    speaks._]

DOCTOR. What gits me is how they done it.

    [_For the first time Lut'er turns his head as admission that some
    one is there. Giz looks up with a dawn of interest under his
    beard. Silence._]

DOCTOR. I traded a two-pound catfish for a box of that salve: an' I
don't see how they done it.

    [_Lut'er having turned his head keeps it turned. Evidently Dr.
    Stev'n always has something of interest to say._]

GIZ. Kickapoo?

DOCTOR. Ye'. Kickapoo Indian Salve. I don't think no Indian never seen
it.

    [_He looks at Giz for acquiescence._]

GIZ. Y'ain't never sure about nothin' these days.

    [_Dr. Stev'n looks at Lut'er for acquiescence also, and Lut'er
    approving turns his head forward and spits assent._]

DOCTOR. I smelled it an' it smelled like ker'sene. I biled it an' it
biled over an' burnt up like ker'sene.... I don't think it was nothin'
but ker'sene an' lard.

GIZ. Reckon 't wuz common ker'sene?

DOCTOR. I don't know whether 't wuz common ker'sene but I know 't wuz
ker'sene.... An' I bet ker'sene'll cure heaps o' troubles if yer use it
right.

GIZ. That air doctor said the salve ud cure most anything.

LUT'ER [_as though a voice from the grave, long forgotten_]. Which
doctor?

GIZ. The man doctor--him with the p'inted musstash.

LUT'ER. I seen him take a egg outer Jimmie Weldon's ear--an' Jimmie
swore he didn't have no hen in his head.

DOCTOR. But the lady doctor said it warn't so good--effie-cacious she
called it--withouten you took two bottles o' the buildin' up medicine, a
box o' the liver pills an' a bottle o' the hair fluid.

GIZ. She knowed a lot. She told me just how I felt an' she said she
hated to trouble me but I had a internal ailment. An' she said I needed
all their medicine jus' like the Indians used it. But I told her I
didn't have no money so she said maybe the box o' liver pills would do
if I'd bring 'em some corn for their supper.

DOCTOR. Y' got the liver pills?

GIZ. Uh-huh.

LUT'ER. Took any?

GIZ. Nup, I'm savin' 'em.

LUT'ER. What fur?

GIZ. Till I'm feelin' sicker'n I am now.

DOCTOR. Where are they?

GIZ. In m' pocket.

    [_They chew in silence for a minute._]

DOCTOR. Yes, sir! It smelled like ker'sene ter me--and ker'sene 't
wuz.... Ker'sene'll cure heaps o' things if you use it right.

    [_He punctuates his talk with covert glances at Giz. His thoughts
    are on the pills._]

DOCTOR. Which pocket yer pills in, Giz?

GIZ [_discouragingly_]. M' hip pocket.

    [_Again they chew._]

DOCTOR. The Family Medicine Book where I learned ter be a doctor said
camphor an' ker'sene an' lard rubbed on flannel an' put on the chest 'ud
cure tizic, maybe. [_He looks at Giz._]

DOCTOR. An' what ud cure tizic ought ter cure anything, I think.... I'd
'a' cured m' second wife if the winder hadn't blowed out an' she got
kivered with snow. Atter that she jus' wheezed until she couldn't wheeze
no longer. An' so when I went courtin' m' third wife, I took a stitch
in time an' told her about the camphor an' ker'sene an' lard.
[_Ruefully._] She's a tur'ble healthy woman. [_His feelings and his
curiosity having overcome his tact, he blurts out._] Giz, why'n th' hell
don't yer show us yer pills!

GIZ. Well--if yer wanner see 'em--here they air.

    [_He takes the dirty, mashed box out of his hip pocket and hands
    it to the Doctor. The Doctor opens the box and smells the pills._]

DOCTOR. Ker'sene.... Smell 'em, Lut'er. [_He holds the box close to
Luter's nose._]

LUT'ER [_with the least possible expenditure of energy_]. Uh!

DOCTOR. Ker'sene!... Well, I guess it's good for the liver, too....
Gimme one, Giz?

GIZ. I ain't got so many I can be givin' 'em ter everybody.

DOCTOR. Jus' one, Giz.

GIZ. She said I ought ter take 'em all fer a cure.

LUT'ER. What yer got, Giz? [_Calling a man by name is a great effort for
Lut'er._]

GIZ. Mostly a tired feelin' an' sometimes a crick in th' back. [_Lut'er
displays a sympathy undreamed of._]

LUT'ER. Gimme one, Giz.

GIZ. Gosh! You want th' whole box, don't yer?

LUT'ER. Keep yer pills. [_He spits._]

DOCTOR. What's ailin' _you_, Lut'er?

LUT'ER. Oh, a tired feelin'. [_There is a long moment of suspended
animation, but the Doctor knows that the mills of the gods grind
slowly--and he waits for Lut'er to continue._] An' a crick in m' back.

DOCTOR. I'll cure yer, Lut'er. [_Lut'er just looks._] If that Kickapoo
doctor with the p'inted muss-tash kin cure yer, I guess I can.

GIZ [_who has been thinking pretty hard_]. Got any terbaccer, Doc?

DOCTOR. Yep.

GIZ. Well, here's a pill fer a chaw. [_He and the Doctor rise._]

    [_Giz takes a pill out of the box and the Doctor takes his tobacco
    from his pocket, reaches out his hand for the pill and holds out
    the tobacco, placing his thumb definitely on the plug so that Giz
    can bite off so much and no more. Giz bites and the Doctor takes
    over the pill. Lut'er not to be outdone takes a battered plug of
    tobacco from his pocket and bites of an unlimited "chaw." The
    Doctor takes his knife from his pocket and cuts the pill, smelling
    it._]

DOCTOR. Ker'sene! [_He tastes it._] Ker'sene! Now I been thinkin' things
over, Lut'er and Giz.... [_He tastes the pill again._] Ker'sene,
sure! [_He sits down on the log once more, spits carefully and crosses
his legs._] I got a business proposition to make. [_Silence. Lut'er
spits and crosses his legs, and Giz just spits._]

DOCTOR. There ain't enough home industry here in Rock Springs. We got a
canning fact'ry and a stea'mill; but here comes a medicine show from
Ioway--a Kickapoo Indian Medicine Show from Ioway! Now--what we need in
Rock Springs is a medicine show! [_He waits for the effect upon his
audience._]

LUT'ER [_after a pause_]. How yer goin' ter git it?

DOCTOR. Well, here's my proposition. Ain't we got as much horse sense as
them Ioway Indians?

LUT'ER. A damn sight more. [_That is the evident answer to the Doctor,
but Lut'er develops a further idea._] We got the country from the
Indians.

GIZ [_after a moment of accumulating admiration_]. By Golly, Lut'er, yer
right.

DOCTOR. Now, I got some medicine science. I'd 'a' cured my second wife
if it hadn't been for that busted winder.

GIZ. Yeh, but what come o' yer first wife?

DOCTOR. I could 'a' cured her, too, only I hadn't found the Family
Medicine Book then.

LUT'ER. Well, what I wanter know is--what's yer proposition.... I'm in a
hurry.... Here comes the Hattie Brown.

    [_The Hattie Brown and the whistle of the steam-mill indicate
    noon. Lut'er takes in the line--removes the fishing worm and puts
    it in his pocket._]

DOCTOR. Well, I'll make the salve an' do the talkin'; Giz'll sort o'
whoop things up a bit and Lut'er'll git cured.

LUT'ER. What'll I get cured of?

DOCTOR. Oh, lumbago an' tired feelin' ... crick in the back and tizic.

LUT'ER. But who'll take a egg out o' somebody's ear?

DOCTOR. Giz'll learn that.

LUT'ER [_with a wan smile that memory illuminates._] An' who'll play the
pianny?

DOCTOR. Besteena, my daughter.

LUT'ER. Where we goin'?

DOCTOR. We'll go ter Lavanny first.

LUT'ER. How'll we git there?

DOCTOR. Walk--unless somebody give us a tote.

GIZ. We kin go in my John-boat.

LUT'ER. Who'll row? [_There is fear in his voice._]

GIZ. We'll take turns. [_Lut'er looks with terror upon Giz._]

LUT'ER. How fur is it?

DOCTOR. Three an' a half mile.... Will you go, Lut'er?

LUT'ER [_evidently thinking deeply_]. How fur is it?

GIZ. Three an' a half mile.

DOCTOR. Will yer go, Lut'er?

LUT'ER. Uh-h.

DOCTOR. Huh?

GIZ. He said, uh-huh.

[_Lut'er chews in silence._]

DOCTOR. I thought he said uh-uh.

GIZ. He said uh-huh.

DOCTOR. He didn't say nothin' o' the sort--he said uh-uh.

[_They turn to Lut'er questioningly. He is chewing intensely._]

LUT'ER [_after a pause_]. How fur did yer say it wuz?

DOCTOR. Three an' a half mile.

[_Silence._]

GIZ. We'll each take a oar.

    [_Silence. A stentorian voice is heard calling "Stee'vun." The
    Doctor rises, hastily._]

DOCTOR. What d'yer say, Lut'er?

LUT'ER. It's three an' a half mile ter Lavanny--an' three an' a half
mile back.... Pretty fur.

DOCTOR. We kin come back on the current.

LUT'ER. Three an' a half mile air three an' a half mile--current or no
current.

    [_Again the masterful female voice calls "Stee'vun." There is no
    mistaking its meaning. The Doctor is torn between home and
    business. Lut'er takes up his rod, rebaits the hook with the
    fishing-worm from his pocket and casts his line into the river._]

LUT'ER. I'll think it over ... but I ain't givin' yuh no hope.... Three
an' a half mile one way air pretty fur ... but two ways--it's turruble.

DOCTOR. Come on, Giz. We'll talk it over.

    [_The Doctor and Giz leave Lut'er to his problem. Lut'er is
    undecided. He is at a crisis in his life. He spits thoughtfully
    and looks after the retreating Doctor and Giz._]

LUT'ER. Three an' a half mile.... [_He takes in his line and removes the
fishing-worm. He rises and looks again after the Doctor and Giz. He
hesitates._] ... two ways.... [_He starts in the opposite direction, as
he justifies himself to his inner self._] Rock Springs is fur enough fur
me! [_When he disappears the play is over._]


  [_Curtain._]




FOR ALL TIME

  A PLAY

  BY RITA WELLMAN


  Copyright, 1918, by Rita Wellman.
  All rights reserved.


  CHARACTERS

    MONSIEUR ROBERT.
    NANETTE.
    DIANE BERTRAL.
    MADAME LE BARGY.

  TIME: _France, 1915_.


  Dedicated to
  MAURICE MAETERLINCK,

    Whose essay in
    "The Wrack of the Storm"
    inspired this play.


  Application for the right of performing FOR ALL TIME must be
  made to Rita Wellman, 142 East 18th Street, New York.



FOR ALL TIME

A PLAY BY RITA WELLMAN


    [_SCENE: Sitting room in the house of Madame le Bargy. Furnished
    in excellent taste. Main entrance center, this leads into a hall.
    Another entrance left, back. French window right near back, near
    this stands a large wing chair. Couch left, well forward. Chairs
    near this. Nanette comes from the entrance left as Monsieur Robert
    comes into the room from entrance center. Nanette is a European
    old maid. Her dark eyes are full of fire and her lips are bitter.
    She speaks quickly and sharply and is always on the defensive.
    Monsieur Robert is well groomed, gentle, weak and likable. Nanette
    is in deep mourning. Monsieur Robert carries a small bunch of
    flowers which he holds awkwardly and fussily as if they
    embarrassed him._]


NANETTE. Monsieur Robert....

ROBERT [_coming forward_]. Nanette.... How are you, Nanette! You look
thinner.

NANETTE. Yes, it's the mourning. It's unbecoming.

ROBERT. I shouldn't say that, Nanette. How is Madame? Tell me. [_Nanette
gives an eloquent shrug._] I haven't dared to come before. You know how
I hate anything--anything like a scene.

NANETTE [_sitting left_]. Sit down, Monsieur Robert. [_He sits in a
chair forward right._] It was cowardly of you not to come to see Madame.

ROBERT. Yes, I know. I am such a coward. I cannot imagine how I came to
be such a coward, Nanette. I am afraid to do anything any more. Yet my
mind keeps so active. How do you account for that? It's my imagination.
It seems to run ahead and do things in my place. In these times I am all
over the world at once. Nanette, will you believe it, that I suffer
actually with every man in the trenches?

NANETTE [_contemptuously_]. Oh, I daresay.

ROBERT. You don't understand my case. I am fifty-five. I have lived for
my work always. Why should I give it up now that the world has gone mad?
Some one must stay behind and keep things together. Some one must
conduct the dull march of everyday life. We can't all be heroes.

NANETTE. Your work!

ROBERT. Well, to be at the head of a big charity. That is something.
Countless lives, numberless families are in my care. I am sort of a
father to them all, Nanette.

NANETTE. They could have a mother as well.

ROBERT [_with pained eagerness_]. Do you really think that?

NANETTE. I know it. There are many women as well fitted for your post as
you--better fitted, in fact.

ROBERT. Oh, surely not. I have had the experience of years. I love my
work so. I love my little people.

NANETTE. You have made a pleasure out of what should be only your duty.
It isn't the poor who couldn't get along without you, Monsieur Robert.
It's you who couldn't get along without the poor.

ROBERT. Well, are we all to live merely to do our duty? Is that what the
Germans are going to teach us--to be machines like themselves?

NANETTE. I suppose after all, you are better off where you are.

ROBERT. How do you mean, Nanette?

NANETTE. You are more of a woman than a man after all.

ROBERT. You were always bitter against me, Nanette.

NANETTE. You were always superior with me, because I was not beautiful
like Madame nor young like Maurice.

ROBERT. How did you say she was, Nanette?

NANETTE. You will find her greatly changed.

ROBERT. I wanted to come to her as soon as she came, from Aix les Bains.
When she went to recover the body.

NANETTE [_in a tone of deep feeling_]. Yes, when we went hoping to find
Maurice.

ROBERT [_softly_]. Tell me about his death.

NANETTE. There were terrible days in which we could learn nothing
certain. Several times they gave up hope. What hope! It only made
certainty more unbearable.

ROBERT. They found him at last.

NANETTE. Yes, they found Maurice.

ROBERT. The French. That was good.

NANETTE. No, the Germans.

ROBERT. But Madame wrote me....

NANETTE. That was a lie she told you. The Germans found him. It was they
who had the privilege of putting him away to his final rest. He had just
won his cross.

ROBERT. He won the cross!

NANETTE. Yes, didn't you hear? That very week. [_Almost overcome with
emotion she rises._] We have it now. [_She goes out back a moment and
returns with a small black box which she opens reverently._] Here is all
that we have left of Maurice. [_She hands him a picture post card._]
This was taken only the day before.... [_She hands him a letter._] This
was the last letter ... you can see the date.... He was never so
confident or full of life.... There is even a joke about me. He was
always making fun of me. I don't know why. [_She hands him a revolver._]
Here is his revolver. [_She takes out the small box with the cross of
war and hesitates to give it to him._] This--this is what we have left
in place of Maurice. [_With a violent look she opens the box and then
suddenly hands it to him._]

ROBERT. You mustn't look on it in that way, Nanette.

NANETTE. I can't help it.

ROBERT [_reading_]. Maurice Paul le Bargy. Little Maurice! He was never
meant for action either. Do you remember how we used to tease him? He
hated to make any decision. He loved life's dreams and nuances.

NANETTE. He was nothing but a dreamer. Madame and I were talking only
yesterday of his garden--did we ever tell you of the garden he had when
he was a boy?

ROBERT [_handing her the box very carefully_]. No. Tell me about the
garden.

NANETTE. He made himself a garden, everything in it was arranged as if
for people only an inch high.

ROBERT. But there are no such people.

NANETTE. Of course not. That is why every one made fun of him. But he
went on building it just the same. It was scaled so that he was a giant
in it. There were little houses and little walks and little boats
sailing on lakes two feet across. The geraniums were great trees, his
pet turtle was like a prehistoric monster, and the hollyhocks pierced
heaven itself. When people told him that no one could really enjoy such
a garden he said that the ants could, and they ought to appreciate a
little beauty because they were always so busy.

ROBERT. That was like Maurice. How vast the sky must have seemed to him
who loved minute shadowy things!

NANETTE. He was always timid. Everything violent frightened him. They
made him positively ill. And how he dreaded the sea! Do you remember how
Madame tried to get him to swim?

ROBERT. But he did learn to swim finally.

NANETTE. Yes. But he told me one day--"Nanette, when I hear the surf my
whole body shakes with fear. I feel as if some terrible giant were
calling me. I hate the great sea."

ROBERT. And he fell into the sea, didn't he?

NANETTE. Two thousand feet.

ROBERT. What he must have endured all alone!

NANETTE. No one can know.

    [_After a pause._]

ROBERT. You say Madame has changed?

NANETTE [_looking toward left before speaking_]. Yes.

ROBERT. Why do you look around like that? Is there anything wrong?

NANETTE. Yes, there is.

ROBERT. What do you mean? Is Madame very ill?

NANETTE. There has been a change.

ROBERT. What kind of a change?

NANETTE. Madame has changed. You wouldn't know her, Monsieur Robert.

ROBERT. You mean she has grown old? Madame was always so beautiful. Has
her hair turned white?

NANETTE. No, it isn't that.

ROBERT. You mean she is so stricken she can't talk with me? She won't
see me?

NANETTE. She will see you. But for your own peace of mind I advise you
to go away. I will tell her that you came. That will be the best way.

ROBERT. A change, you say? You mean she has altered so....

NANETTE. Yes. The truth is, it is Madame's mind.

ROBERT. Her mind! No, no, don't tell me that. That is the worst of all.
Do you mean that she is not clear in her mind? She wouldn't know me? She
wouldn't be able to remember? Nanette, I can't believe it. I can't
believe that this great and beautiful woman could give in like that.
Everywhere you see the small ones breaking down. But the great spirits
like hers--oh they must keep up. What else is there left for us if they
give up, too?

NANETTE. If you could hear her talk, Monsieur Robert. The things she
says.... Sometimes I have to run away and lock my door. I am afraid of
her.

ROBERT. I cannot stay now, Nanette. I couldn't bear it. It was hard
enough for me before. What can I say to her, Nanette, when my own grief
finds no comfort? Maurice was like my own son. He was the fruit of my
own soul. Into him went all the spiritual love I had for Madame, the
love which for fourteen years....

NANETTE. Monsieur Robert!

ROBERT. Oh, Nanette, forget your piety for once and let me speak my
heart out.

NANETTE [_with her strange, bitter coldness_]. No, Monsieur Robert, I
can never forget what you call my--piety.

ROBERT. No, you never can. That is why I have never been able to talk to
you. Your heart is closed to all but Maurice.

NANETTE. Yes, that is true. My heart has been like one of those vases of
domestic use which the ancients buried with the dead in their tombs. All
that was warm and beautiful in me is closed away forever with Maurice.
Although I was never more to him than a familiar object which was a part
of his everyday life. Only his old nurse.

ROBERT. How did he come to inspire such love in every one who came near
him?

NANETTE. Because he was young and beautiful.

ROBERT. But that is simply a temporary state.

NANETTE. Maurice would always have been young and beautiful.

ROBERT. Yes, he made you believe that. When he talked with you you felt
glad and young as if you'd heard music.

NANETTE. He loved life.

ROBERT. Yet he was a coward.

NANETTE. But he always dared to do what he was afraid to do.

ROBERT. Yes, that is where he was different from me. That is what I have
never been able to do--to dare as far as I could imagine.

    [_He goes slowly toward the back._]

NANETTE [_rising_]. You are going?

ROBERT. Yes. I can't see her. You see the state I am in. What could I
say to her? I had better go.

NANETTE. Yes, it is the best way for you both.

    [_Robert hesitates at the chair right. He tentatively puts a hand
    out to touch the arm of it, and regards it curiously._]

NANETTE [_unsteadily_]. What are you doing?

ROBERT. It is strange.... [_Suddenly he falls into the chair and buries
his head in the cushions, sobbing and calling._] Maurice! Maurice!

NANETTE [_hoarsely_]. Monsieur Robert. [_As he does not answer--sharply
and frightened._] Monsieur Robert!

ROBERT [_rises slowly, a little dazed, but calm_]. Yes, yes, I know. I
am trying your nerves. Forgive me. I am going now, Nanette. Here--I was
forgetting--The flowers I brought for Madame. You will give them to her,
Nanette.

NANETTE. Monsieur Robert, why did you act in that way just now? Why did
you go to that chair?

ROBERT. I don't know.

NANETTE. When we came home from Aix les Bains I thought Madame would go
wild. She tore her clothes. She went striding about the house from room
to room calling at the top of her voice--Maurice, Maurice. She went into
all the rooms, into his room, looking into the closets--everywhere--Then
she came running down here. She went back into the back sitting room
where she is now--then back into this room. At last she came to that
chair.

ROBERT. To that chair, Nanette? Are you sure?

NANETTE. To that very chair. Then she flung herself down into it and
cried. That was the first time she had cried. I went away. When I came
back she was still there. And then this strange and terrible change came
over her.

ROBERT. How do you mean?

NANETTE. A peculiar quiet, an awful calm like death--only more terrible.

ROBERT. Yes, that is how I felt.

NANETTE. Just now in that chair?

ROBERT. Yes, just now.

NANETTE. A calm, you say?

ROBERT. Yes, like a hand pressed over my heart.

NANETTE. But you seemed happier, Monsieur Robert.

ROBERT. I am happier, Nanette. [_He goes toward back._] I am going.

    [_He goes out at center. Nanette watches him dumbfounded. She then
    gets the black box, carefully puts away her keepsakes, and takes
    the box out center, returning almost at the same time that Diane
    Bertral enters. Diane Bertral is a beautiful woman of about
    twenty-eight. She is nervous and ill at ease, almost hysterical._]

DIANE. Does Madame le Bargy live here?

NANETTE. Yes, she does. Where can Julie be? Did the maid let you in?

DIANE. No, the gentleman who just went out ... he left the door open for
me. He evidently thought I was a friend.

NANETTE. Did you want to see Madame le Bargy?

DIANE. Yes, very much. Could I see her, do you think?

NANETTE. She is back in her own sitting room. She isn't to be disturbed.

DIANE. No, I suppose not. I shouldn't have come.

NANETTE. If you wished to speak with her about anything important I can
take the message.

DIANE [_absently_]. No--no....

NANETTE [_regarding her suspiciously_]. You know Madame le Bargy
personally?

DIANE. No, no, I don't.

NANETTE. I thought not.

    [_Sitting._]

DIANE. May I sit down here for a moment? I am so tired. I have walked
all the way, or rather I have run most of it. I am all out of breath.

NANETTE. If you will let me know your message at once.... Otherwise
there is a seat down at the concierge. I am very busy.

    [_She goes toward back, with her lips set._]

DIANE [_rising_]. The truth is.... I can't tell you. It is something
personal.

NANETTE. Something personal? Perhaps you are mistaken in the Madame le
Bargy ... this is Madame Jeanne le Bargy--the writer....

DIANE. Yes, yes, I know. Mightn't I speak with her for a moment?

NANETTE. That is impossible. Since the death of her son Madame le Bargy
has seen no one. No one at all.

DIANE. I might have known. Let me think. My mind has been so confused
lately. I have been in such a state of mind--I don't know what to do. I
came running here without any idea in my head. I felt that I would be
all right if I could only see Madame le Bargy.

NANETTE [_tersely_]. Perhaps Mademoiselle had better see the doctor. At
the end of the street--number 27--you will find an excellent physician.

DIANE. No physician on earth can cure me.

NANETTE [_after giving her an uneasy, distrustful look_]. Well, since
you cannot see Madame le Bargy, and since you have no message for her, I
must ask you please to excuse me. I am busy.

    [_She stands waiting for Diane to go, regarding her with undisguised
    hostility._]

DIANE. Yes, I will go. Why did I ever come? It was a mad idea. I see now
that the things which seem so simple and easy in the heat of your own
mind are the hardest of all to accomplish when you meet the coldness of
other minds. Don't trouble about me. I am going. I didn't come to harm
you or Madame in any way.

[_As she goes toward the door she passes the chair at right and stops.
She goes toward it curiously, then hopefully. Finally she flings herself
into it as Robert has done, and sobs the name--"Maurice! Maurice!"_]

NANETTE [_horrified_]. Mademoiselle!

    [_Diane rises slowly, looking about her in a dazed way. Then she
    suddenly leaves the chair._]

DIANE [_quietly_]. Forgive me. I will go quietly now.

NANETTE [_trembling_]. Mademoiselle. Just now--you spoke a name....

DIANE. Yes.

NANETTE. Was it--Maurice?

DIANE. Yes.

NANETTE [_drawing away, her face going black_]. I see.

DIANE [_going up to her curiously_]. Who are you?

NANETTE [_drawing herself up, showing the utmost contempt, hatred and
fear of Diane_]. Who are _you_?

DIANE. My name is Diane Bertral.

NANETTE. Who _are_ you?

DIANE. Just that.

NANETTE [_as before_]. I see.

DIANE [_passionately_]. Madame, listen to me....

NANETTE. Mademoiselle....

DIANE. Mademoiselle--are you--Nanette?

NANETTE [_who seems to grow small with dread_]. Those who know me well
call me that.

DIANE. He often spoke of you. He told me of you. You were his old nurse.
You were very dear to him. He always said he was the only person to
reach your heart. [_Seizing Nanette's hand._] Nanette! Let me call you
Nanette! Let me touch you. Let me know that heart which he could waken.
I am so in need of help. I am so in need of love.

NANETTE [_drawing away_]. Mademoiselle!

DIANE. You have lost Maurice. You know what I feel. Only you can know.
Help me. Let us help each other! We can never be strangers for our
hearts bear the same sorrow.

NANETTE. I don't understand. [_Growing stern with the realization._]
Maurice! Can it be that Maurice.... No, that is impossible. He was not
like that.

DIANE. Nanette. I loved Maurice. He loved me.

NANETTE [_recoiling as if at a great obscenity_]. Oh!

DIANE. Why do you speak like that? What could there be in our love for
each other that was wrong? If you only knew what we were to each other.
If you only knew, Nanette....

NANETTE [_hoarsely_]. Maurice.... I can scarcely believe it.

DIANE. Let me talk to you about him. Let me tell you about us. [_She
sits on the couch left, and feverishly begins to talk._] I am an
actress. We met at a supper party after the theater. You know how shy
Maurice was. He was afraid of most people. I saw that. I drew him to one
side and got him to talk. He was like a child when any one took a real
interest in him. He told me all about himself at once, about you, and
about Madame le Bargy....

NANETTE [_passionately_]. Oh, keep still!

DIANE [_not noticing Nanette's hostility_]. And about your house in the
country, and his garden and books and his piano and all the things he
loved. Then he went on and told me about his work, and how he wanted to
be a great writer, how he wanted to carry on what was best in the French
theater. He promised to show me his play.

NANETTE. His play!

DIANE. I told him to come to my house and read it to me. He came the
next day. It was the twenty-first of March. I remember the date
perfectly.

NANETTE. We always left town on that day, but we could not get Maurice
to go, so we had to leave him behind. Now I understand.

DIANE. Yes. He stayed to lunch with me, and that afternoon I had him
read his play to me. Do you remember how beautiful his voice was? It
started in a sort of sing song, like a child singing itself to sleep,
but as he went on his voice grew deeper and stronger, all your senses
melted into his voice and he carried you along as if on a great wave of
emotion, of ecstasy. Monsieur Laugier came later. He was my manager
then. I had Maurice read the play to him. And later some other people
came, and every one urged Monsieur Laugier to take the play. I begged
him to read it. I will never forget it. It seemed to me the most
important thing in the world. Well, as you know, Monsieur Laugier did
produce Maurice's play. And, although they wouldn't let me be in it, I
always considered it my play, too.

NANETTE. Then the story he told us of his meeting with Monsieur
Laugier--that wasn't true?

DIANE. No. I invented that for him to tell you.

NANETTE. He lied to us!

DIANE. You would never have understood.

NANETTE. Let me think--Maurice's play was produced in September, 1913.
That is two years ago. Two years.... Maurice lived here with us--day
after day--saying nothing--telling us nothing--We never suspected. We
never dreamed that he would deceive us.

DIANE. He did not deceive you. Not even the closest hearts can reveal
everything.

NANETTE. But to continue to see you ... all that time! It is
unthinkable.

DIANE. How could he explain what he didn't understand himself? How could
he tell you of what was a mystery to him? From the first moment we met
we lived and thought and felt as one being.

NANETTE [_vehemently_]. No! With us he was like that! He was like that
with us.

DIANE. With me!

NANETTE. To think of it! A common actress!

DIANE [_jumping up_]. How could you?

NANETTE. If I had known of this affair I would have gone straight to
you.

DIANE. And what could you have done?

NANETTE [_significantly_]. I could have found a way.

DIANE. You are a terrible old woman.

NANETTE. Am I terrible? I had to fight my way when I was your
age--because I was not pretty. I had the choice of being a free drudge
or some man's slave. So I chose to toil alone. In order to get along
alone I had to stifle every drop of humanity in my being. I had to bind
up my human instincts as they bind up the breasts of mothers who flow
too bounteously with life-blood long after their babes have need of it.
I had to become sharp and bitter because sweetness and softness get
crushed under in the battle to live. I learned to fight and I forgot to
feel. Then, when I was used up and hard I met Madame le Bargy and she
took me into her house because I had one valuable thing left. I had
learned that it is wiser to be honest. I was there when Maurice was
born.

DIANE. You were with him from the very beginning then.

NANETTE. I was an old maid of thirty-five. I had always lived alone. I
hadn't ever had a dog to care for. Then all at once I had this baby,
this little baby. I had his baby cries to call me. I had his tiny hands
to kiss. I used to press my lips against his throbbing head, against the
soft fissure where life and death meet, and I would say to myself,
"Here, with one pressure I can crush away life. Here, with one pressure
is where immortal life must have entered."

DIANE. Then later--when he grew up....

NANETTE. Day by day I watched over him. Madame was busy. Even after her
husband died she was in the world. She had her writing. She had her
friends. Her heart was fed in a hundred different ways. While I--I had
only Maurice.

DIANE. I understand.

NANETTE. I lived only for Maurice. When I saw that it was raining I
thought of Maurice. When I saw that the sun shone I thought of Maurice.
If I was awakened suddenly in the night his name was on my lips. It
seemed to me I could not take a deep breath for fear of disturbing his
image against my heart.

DIANE. Nanette! Can you believe that I have felt that way too?

NANETTE. You!

DIANE. Yes, yes, I have. Nanette, when he was little, when he was a boy
growing up, did you never think of me?

NANETTE. Of you!

DIANE. Yes, of the woman who would eventually take your place. Didn't
you think of what she would be like, didn't you plan her, didn't you
pray that she might be fine and great and beautiful? I know you did. You
must have! Well, I tried to mold myself that way. I tried to be worthy
of every dream you could have had for him, that his mother could have
had. That is how I loved him.

NANETTE. Do you know what I thought of when the idea of a woman for
Maurice came into my mind? I thought that when she came--if she ever
did--

    [_She pauses, looking ahead of her._]

DIANE. Yes?

NANETTE [_turning and looking at Diane vindictively_]. I would kill her!

DIANE. Nanette, I would have killed myself rather than harm Maurice.

NANETTE. Then why did you allow him to throw himself away?

DIANE. Throw himself away! Nanette, I never knew what love was until
Maurice came. I was older than he. I knew life better. I knew myself
better. I had struggled. You say that you had to struggle because you
weren't pretty. I had to struggle because I was. You can't know what it
is to have every other man you meet want to possess you, not because he
loves you, but because your face suggests love to him and he hasn't
learned to know the difference. He finds that out later, and then he
reproaches you for being beautiful.

NANETTE. To think that Maurice should fall so low!

DIANE. But I came to know things. I was determined to find love. From
man to man, Nanette, I climbed up and up, picking my way, falling and
getting up again. Only the truly educated can love. I loved Maurice with
all the wisdom I had accumulated in years of suffering. I gave him a
perfect gift I had molded in pain.

NANETTE. You! What had _you_ to give?

DIANE. Then the war broke out.

NANETTE. Yes, the war. Maurice was one of the first. He made up his mind
at once.

DIANE. No, he did _not_ make up his mind at once.

NANETTE [_with a dreadful realization_]. Then it was....

DIANE. I made up his mind for him.

NANETTE [_vehemently_]. You did it! It was you then! You sent Maurice to
war. After they excused him! After they gave him a post at home! You
sent him to his death. Oh, I hated you before, but now....

DIANE. His mother and you clung to him. There was one excuse after the
other. You made him believe that he was too delicate and sensitive. You
used all of your influence. Madame le Bargy tried in every way to keep
him. She even testified officially that Maurice was weak from birth and
had dizzy spells and an unaccountable fear of the sea. And you testified
under oath to a long and dangerous illness he had had in childhood.

NANETTE. I did that. And it was all a lie.

DIANE. But all the time I was urging him to go. We three women fought
for mastery. But you see who won! I did! When he came to me at
nights--in the country--to my little house where we had been so happy,
there, there, in the very room where we were nearest, then I persuaded
him. With my kisses, Nanette, with my arms, with all the power I had
over him--then was when I thrust him away.

NANETTE [_triumphantly_]. You didn't love him then!

DIANE [_passionately_]. Could I love Maurice and see him stay behind?
Could I really want him to save his body for me when thousands were
giving theirs for France?

NANETTE. For France.... But what of us?

DIANE. Oh, the selfishness of those who have never really loved!

NANETTE. Never loved! How can you say that I have never loved?

DIANE. What can you know of my loss? Your love was a habit. It was the
love you could have lavished on a dog, or a horse or anything. But with
me--now that he is gone, I have lost everything. I have no place to
turn. I haven't even memory, as you have. Your love always took on the
color of memory, but mine was a living, flaming thing, necessary as food
and drink--as life itself!

NANETTE [_white with passion_]. But my love was pure and yours was not.
[_She crosses the room._] Good God, to think that this thing should ever
have happened to us in this house! [_She covers her face with her hands
and runs out back._]

    [_After a moment Madame le Bargy enters, left. She is a handsome
    woman of fifty or more. She wears a long loose gown of white silk.
    Her voice is perfectly modulated and beautiful. There is about her
    a gentleness and nobility of perfect spiritual strength. She looks
    at Diane curiously for a moment, and then goes to her with hand
    outstretched. During the following the day is fast becoming dark,
    and the sun's setting is seen from the French window._]

MADAME LE BARGY. I heard Nanette's voice. She has a habit of keeping
people from me, although I am always glad to see any one. May I know
your name?

DIANE. My name is Diane Bertral.

MADAME LE BARGY. Diane Bertral. I have never heard of you.

DIANE. No. I am an actress. But I am not so very well known. Are you
Madame le Bargy?

MADAME LE BARGY. Yes. Won't you sit down on the couch there? Why did you
come to see me, Mademoiselle?

    [_She sits at right forward._]

DIANE [_embarrassed_]. I came.... I don't know why I came, Madame le
Bargy.

MADAME LE BARGY. You know some one I know, perhaps--some friend of us
both.

DIANE. Yes, that is it. Some one we have both--lost.

MADAME LE BARGY [_with a quick look at Diane_]. A _dear_ friend?

DIANE. Yes, a very dear friend.

MADAME LE BARGY. Do you mean--Maurice?

DIANE. Yes.

MADAME LE BARGY. You knew him well?

DIANE. I loved him.

MADAME LE BARGY. Yes, I know.

DIANE [_astonished_]. You know!

MADAME LE BARGY. Yes, Maurice has told me.

DIANE. No, no; that I am sure of. I am sure he never has. He has never
told a soul. That was our agreement. We were to keep it secret and
sacred. Not even you were to know, not as long as we lived.

MADAME LE BARGY [_gently_]. But after...?

DIANE [_puzzled_]. After?

MADAME LE BARGY. How long did you know Maurice?

DIANE. It would be two years this March.

MADAME LE BARGY. You loved each other all that time?

DIANE. From the very first. We never had any of those preliminaries in
which people have a chance to deceive each other. We came together
directly and frankly and we never regretted it.

MADAME LE BARGY. Maurice was very young.

DIANE. He was twenty-four. He was eager for life. But you two had kept
him back. You had warmed his heart with your kind of love until he had
begun to think it was the only love which is worthy.

MADAME LE BARGY. And you believe that that isn't so?

DIANE [_simply_]. I believe that there can be no flame like the love
between two young people who are one.

MADAME LE BARGY [_going to Diane and putting a hand on her shoulder_].
Poor little woman.

DIANE [_astounded_]. Madame!

MADAME LE BARGY. You have been suffering a great deal, Diane.

DIANE [_bursting into wild weeping_]. Oh, Madame, how good you are, how
kind you are! [_Grasping Madame's arms, she trembles and sobs._] Oh, how
can I ever tell you? Thank you, thank you! [_She jumps up and paces
about the room._] What am I going to do with myself? How can I go on? I
simply can't stand it. If I had only died with Maurice! If I could only
have died in his place! Oh, the cruelty of it! Why did they have to pick
out _my_ lover? Surely there are thousands of others. Why did it have to
be just mine? Mine--when I needed him so! He might have been spared a
little longer, to give me time to get used to it. That would have been
better. But now! Just as he was beginning to be of service, too. Why he
hadn't been there a year yet. Not even a year! [_Beating her hips
violently._] I could tear myself to pieces. I hate myself for going on
living. I detest myself for being alive when he is dead.

MADAME LE BARGY [_who has watched Diane with infinite pity--softly_].
Diane, do you think that I loved my son?

DIANE [_in surprise_]. Why, yes, Madame, I believe that you loved
Maurice.

MADAME LE BARGY. You think that my love was not as great as yours?

DIANE. No, I don't think so. You had had your life. Maurice and I were
only beginning ours.

MADAME LE BARGY. Which do you think is the greater love, Diane, the love
which endures for the moment, or the love which endures for all time?

DIANE [_puzzled_]. For all time...?

MADAME LE BARGY. For all time.

DIANE. We have the dear lips to kiss, the dear head to caress, but when
these are gone there is only memory--and that is torture.

MADAME LE BARGY. What if I should tell you that Maurice still lives,
Diane?

DIANE [_rushing to her_]. Madame! My God, is this true?

MADAME LE BARGY [_gently_]. Maurice still lives, Diane. He talks with me
every day.

DIANE [_slowly_]. He talks with you....

MADAME LE BARGY [_holding her gaze_]. Yes, Diane, he talks with me.

DIANE [_the hope dies out of her face and she turns away_]. I
understand.

MADAME LE BARGY. You see, you did not love Maurice.

DIANE. How can you tell me that--that I didn't love him?

MADAME LE BARGY. Because you don't continue to do so.

DIANE. But how can I love what no longer exists?

MADAME LE BARGY. Oh, the selfishness of those who have never really
loved!

DIANE. That is what I said to Nanette--and now you say the same thing to
me.

MADAME LE BARGY. Diane, when I knew for certain that Maurice had fallen
into the sea, that they had recovered his body, that he was buried in
German soil, then I felt that I should never live another moment. I felt
as you have felt. I wanted to die. I could not bear it. I came here to
this house. I was mad for the sight of him, for the things that he had
touched and loved. I flew into his room and dragged his clothes from the
pegs and crushed them to me, but even the odor and touch of his personal
belongings was not enough to calm me. I came into this room. Then I drew
near that chair. Something--I don't know what--drove me to sit in it. I
flung myself into it as if it were into his arms, and I wept out all my
grief. Then, all at once, a great calm came over me. I looked upon my
solemn black dress in amazement and distaste. I looked into my solemn
and black heart with surprise and shame. I felt that Maurice was
_alive_, that he was not _dead_, Diane. Then I remembered, as I sat
there, that it was in this chair that he had sat when he came to say
good-by. There he had sat talking happily and confidently--he had seemed
filled with radiance. And so he has talked to me again and again. Every
day, at the same time, at twilight, I have sat there and felt myself
with Maurice. We have talked together, just as we always did. There is
nothing weird or supernatural about it, Diane. He is just as we knew
him, as we knew him in those swift, strange moments when, in a flash,
the body seems to slip aside and spirit rushes out to meet spirit. That
is all. People see me cheerful and smiling and they say that I am mad.
The few to whom I have told of these talks pity me and are sure that I
have lost my reason. Perhaps, in a worldly sense, I am mad. But I know
this, Diane, that Maurice lives as usual, more truly, than he did six
weeks ago. I know that his youth has not been sacrificed in vain. As the
dead plant enriches the soil from which it grew and into which it
finally falls, so will this young soul in all its bloom enrich the life
out of which it sprang and from which it can never entirely disappear.

DIANE [_after a pause--rising_]. That is beautiful, but I cannot do it.
[_Stretching out her arms._] My arms are aching with emptiness.

MADAME LE BARGY. You see that you did not really love, Diane.

DIANE. Perhaps not. But it was the greatest I was capable of.

    [_She gets a scarf she has dropped and goes toward the back._]

MADAME LE BARGY [_softly_]. This is the time, Diane.

DIANE. When you talk with him?

MADAME LE BARGY. Yes.

    [_Diane goes slowly and sinks into the chair wearily. Suddenly she
    flings her arms out, crying "Maurice, Maurice." Madame le Bargy
    rises and goes to her._]

DIANE. Maurice, come back to me! Dear God, give him back to me!

    [_Nanette enters at back with her black box. She sees Diane in the
    chair. Suddenly she takes out the revolver and shoots Diane._]

NANETTE. Maurice! Forgive me!

MADAME LE BARGY. Nanette! Child! My child! [_She rushes to take Diane in
her arms._] Nanette, what have you done, what have you done?

NANETTE. I have rid Maurice of a stain.

DIANE [_calling softly_]. Maurice, Maurice.... Oh, I knew you couldn't
stay away. I knew you would come back to me. Now we will never be
separated. We will be together like this for always--for all time.

MADAME LE BARGY [_softly_]. For all time, Diane.

NANETTE [_kneeling beside Diane--crossing herself_]. For all time.


  [_Curtain._]




THE FINGER OF GOD

  A PLAY

  BY PERCIVAL WILDE


  Copyright, 1915, by Percival Wilde.
  Professional stage and motion picture rights reserved.


  THE FINGER OF GOD was produced by the Wisconsin Players at the
  Wisconsin Little Theatre, Milwaukee, Wis., March 28, 1916, and
  subsequently, with the following cast:

    STRICKLAND       _Frederick Irving Deakin_.
    BENSON           _Harry V. Meissner_.
    A GIRL           _Marjorie Frances Hollis_.

  Under the direction of FREDERIC IRVING DEAKIN.


  Reprinted from "Dawn, and Other One-Act Plays of Life To-day" by
  permission of, and special arrangement with, Mr. Wilde. The acting
  rights in this play are strictly reserved. Performances may be
  given by _amateurs_ upon payment to the author of a royalty of
  five dollars ($5.00) for each performance. Production by
  professional actors, without the written consent of the author, is
  forbidden. Persons who wish to produce this play should apply to
  Mr. Percival Wilde, in care of Walter H. Baker & Co., 5 Hamilton
  Place, Boston, Mass.



THE FINGER OF GOD

A PLAY BY PERCIVAL WILDE


    [_The living room of Strickland's apartment. At the rear, a
    doorway, heavily curtained, leads into another room. At the left
    of the doorway, a bay window, also heavily curtained, is set into
    the diagonal wall. Near the center, an ornate writing desk, upon
    which is a telephone. At the right, the main entrance. The
    furnishings, in general, are luxurious and costly._

    _As the curtain rises Strickland, kneeling, is burning papers in a
    grate near the main door. Benson, his valet, is packing a suitcase
    which lies open on the writing desk. It is ten-thirty; a bitterly
    cold night in winter._]


STRICKLAND. Benson!

BENSON. Yes, sir.

STRICKLAND. Close the window: it's cold.

BENSON [_goes to the window_]. The window _is_ closed, sir. It's been
closed all evening.

STRICKLAND [_shivers and buttons his coat tightly_]. Benson.

BENSON. Yes, sir?

STRICKLAND. Don't forget a heavy overcoat.

BENSON. I've put it in already, sir.

STRICKLAND. Plenty of fresh linen?

BENSON. Yes, sir.

STRICKLAND. Collars and ties?

BENSON. I've looked out for everything, sir.

STRICKLAND [_after a pause_]. You sent off the trunks this afternoon?

BENSON. Yes, sir.

STRICKLAND. You're sure they can't be traced?

BENSON. I had one wagon take them to a vacant lot, and another wagon
take them to the station.

STRICKLAND. Good!

BENSON. I checked them through to Chicago. Here are the checks. [_He
hands them over._] What train do we take, sir?

STRICKLAND. _I_ take the midnight. You follow me some time next week. We
mustn't be seen leaving town together.

BENSON. How will I find you in Chicago?

STRICKLAND. You won't. You'll take rooms somewheres, and I'll take rooms
somewheres else till it's all blown over. When I want you I'll put an ad
in the "Tribune."

BENSON. You don't know when that will be, sir?

STRICKLAND. As soon as I think it is safe. It may be two weeks. It may
be a couple of months. But you will stay in Chicago till you hear from
me one way or the other. You understand?

BENSON. Yes, sir.

STRICKLAND. Have you plenty of money?

BENSON. Not enough to last a couple of months.

STRICKLAND [_producing a large pocketbook_]. How much do you want?

BENSON. Five or six hundred.

STRICKLAND [_takes out a few bills. Stops_]. Wait a minute! I left that
much in my bureau drawer.

    [_He goes toward the door._]

BENSON. Mr. Strickland?

STRICKLAND. Yes?

BENSON. It's the midnight train for Chicago, isn't it?

STRICKLAND. Yes.

    [_He goes into the next room._]

BENSON [_waits an instant. Then he lifts the telephone receiver, and
speaks very quietly_]. Hello. Murray Hill 3500.... Hello. This Finley?
This is Benson.... He's going to take the midnight train for Chicago.
Pennsylvania. You had better arrest him at the station. If he once gets
to Chicago you'll never find him. And, Finley, you won't forget _me_,
will you?... I want five thousand dollars for it. Yes, five thousand.
That's little enough. He's got almost three hundred thousand on him, and
you won't turn in _all_ of that to Headquarters. Yes, it's cash. Large
bills. [_Strickland's step is heard._] Midnight for Chicago.

    [_Benson hangs up the receiver and is busy with the suitcase as
    Strickland enters._]

STRICKLAND. Here's your money, Benson. Count it.

BENSON [_after counting_]. Six hundred dollars, thank you, sir. [_He
picks up the closed suitcase._] Shall I go now?

STRICKLAND. No. Wait a minute. [_He goes to the telephone._] Hello,
Madison Square 7900 ... Pennsylvania? I want a stateroom for Chicago,
midnight train. Yes, to-night.

BENSON. Don't give your own name, sir.

STRICKLAND. No. The name is Stevens.... Oh, you have one reserved in
that name already? Well, this is _Alfred_ Stevens.... You have it
reserved in that name? Then give me another stateroom.... What? You
haven't any other? [_He pauses in an instant's thought. Then,
decisively_]: Never mind, then. Good-by. [_He turns to Benson._] Benson,
go right down to the Pennsylvania, and get the stateroom that is
reserved for Alfred Stevens. You've got to get there before he does.
Wait for me at the train gate.

BENSON. Yes, sir.

STRICKLAND. Don't waste any time. I'll see you later.

BENSON. Very well, sir.

    [_He takes up the suitcase, and goes._]

STRICKLAND [_left alone, opens drawer after drawer of the desk
systematically, dumping what few papers are still left into the fire.
Outside a wintry gale whistles, and shakes the locked window. Suddenly
there is a knock at the door. He pauses, very much startled. A little
wait, and then the knock, a single knock, is repeated. He rises, goes to
the door, opens it._] Who's there?

A GIRL. I, sir.

    [_She enters. She is young: certainly under thirty: perhaps under
    twenty-five: possibly still younger. A somewhat shabby boa of some
    dark fur encircles her neck, and makes her pallid face stand out
    with startling distinctness from beneath a mass of lustrous brown
    hair. And as she steps over the threshold she gives a little
    shiver of comfort, for it is cold outside, and her thin shoulders
    have been shielded from the driving snow by a threadbare coat. She
    enters the warm room gracefully, and little rivulets of melted ice
    trickle to the floor from her inadequate clothing. Her lips are
    blue. Her hands tremble in their worn white gloves. A seat before
    a blazing fire, or perhaps, a sip of some strong cordial--this is
    what she needs. But Strickland has no time for such things. He
    greets her with a volley of questions._]

STRICKLAND. Who are you?

THE GIRL. Who, don't you remember me, sir?

STRICKLAND. No.

THE GIRL. I'm from the office, sir.

STRICKLAND. The office?

THE GIRL. _Your_ office. I'm one of your personal stenographers, sir.

STRICKLAND. Oh. I suppose I didn't recognize you on account of the hat.
What do you want?

THE GIRL. There were some letters which came late this afternoon--

STRICKLAND [_interrupting harshly_]. And you're bothering me with them
now? [_He crosses to the door, and holds it open.]_ I've got no time.
Good night.

THE GIRL [_timidly_]. I thought you'd want to see these letters.

STRICKLAND. Plenty of time to-morrow.

THE GIRL. But you won't be here to-morrow, will you?

STRICKLAND [_starting violently_]. Won't be here? What do you mean?

THE GIRL. You're taking the train to Chicago to-night.

STRICKLAND. How did you know--[_He stops himself. Then, with forced
ease._] Taking a train to Chicago? Of course not! What put that in your
head?

THE GIRL. Why, you told me, sir.

STRICKLAND. _I_ told you?

THE GIRL. You said so this afternoon.

STRICKLAND [_harshly_]. I didn't see you this afternoon!

THE GIRL [_without contradicting him_]. No, sir? [_She produces a
time-table._] Then I found this time-table.

    [_She holds it out. He snatches it._]

STRICKLAND. Where did you find it?

THE GIRL. On your desk, sir.

STRICKLAND. On my desk?

THE GIRL. Yes, sir.

STRICKLAND [_suddenly and directly_]. You're lying!

THE GIRL. Why, Mr. Strickland!

STRICKLAND. That time-table never reached my desk! I lost it between the
railroad station and my office.

THE GIRL. Did you, sir? But it's the same time-table: you see, you
checked the midnight train. [_He looks at her suspiciously._] I reserved
a stateroom for you.

STRICKLAND [_astonished_]. You reserved a stateroom?

THE GIRL [_smiling_]. I knew you'd forget it. You have your head so full
of other things. So I telephoned as soon as you left the office.

STRICKLAND [_biting his lip angrily_]. I suppose you made the
reservation in my own name?

THE GIRL. No, sir.

STRICKLAND [_immensely surprised_]. What?

THE GIRL. I thought you'd prefer some other name: you didn't want your
trip to be known.

STRICKLAND. No, I didn't. [_A good deal startled, he looks at her as if
he were about to ask, "How did you know that?" She returns his gaze
unflinchingly. The question remains unasked. But a sudden thought
strikes him._] What name did you give?

THE GIRL. Stevens, sir.

STRICKLAND [_thunderstruck_]. Stevens?

THE GIRL. Alfred Stevens.

STRICKLAND [_gasping_]. What made you choose that name?

THE GIRL. I don't know, sir.

STRICKLAND. You don't _know_?

THE GIRL. No, sir. It was just the first name that popped into my head.
I said "Stevens," and when the clerk asked for the first name, I said
"Alfred."

STRICKLAND [_after a pause_]. Have you ever _known_ anybody of that
name?

THE GIRL. No, sir.

STRICKLAND [_with curious insistence_]. You are _sure_ you never knew
anybody of that name?

THE GIRL. How can I be sure? I may have; I don't remember it.

STRICKLAND [_abruptly_]. How old are you? [_He gives her no time to
answer._] You're not twenty, are you?

THE GIRL [_smiling_]. Do you think so?

STRICKLAND [_continuing the current of his thoughts_]. And I'm
forty-seven. It was more than twenty-five years ago.... You couldn't
have known.

THE GIRL [_after a pause_]. No, sir.

STRICKLAND [_looking at her with something of fear in his eye_]. What is
your name?

THE GIRL. Does it matter? You didn't recognize my _face_ a few minutes
ago; my _name_ can't mean much to you. I'm just one of the office force:
I'm the girl who answers when you push the button three times. [_She
opens a handbag._] These are the letters I brought with me.

STRICKLAND [_not offering to take them_]. What are they about?

THE GIRL [_opening the first_]. This is from a woman who wants to invest
some money.

STRICKLAND. How much?

THE GIRL. Only a thousand dollars.

STRICKLAND. Why didn't you turn it over to the clerks?

THE GIRL. The savings of a lifetime, she writes.

STRICKLAND. What of it?

THE GIRL. She wrote that she had confidence in you. She says that she
wants you to invest it for her yourself.

STRICKLAND. You shouldn't have bothered me with that. [_He pauses._] Did
she inclose the money?

THE GIRL. Yes. A certified check.

    [_She hands it over to him._]

STRICKLAND [_taking the check, and putting it in his pocketbook_]. Write
her--oh, you know what to write: that I will give the matter my personal
attention.

THE GIRL. Yes, sir. She says she doesn't want a big return on her
investment. She wants something that will be perfectly safe, and she
knows you will take care of her.

STRICKLAND. Yes. Of course. What else have you?

THE GIRL. A dozen other letters like it.

STRICKLAND. All from old women?

THE GIRL [_seriously_]. Some of them. Here is one from a young man who
has saved a little money. He says that when he gets a little more he's
going to open a store, and go into business for himself. Here is another
from a girl whose father was an ironworker. He was killed accidentally,
and she wants you to invest the insurance. Here is another from--but
they're all pretty much alike.

STRICKLAND. Why did you bring them here?

THE GIRL. Every one of these letters asks you to do the investing
yourself.

STRICKLAND. Oh!

THE GIRL. And you're leaving town to-night. Here are the checks. [_She
passes them over._] Every one of them is made out to you personally; not
to the firm.

STRICKLAND [_after a pause_]. You shouldn't have come here.... I haven't
time to bother with that sort of thing. Every man who has five dollars
to invest asks the head of the firm to attend to it himself. It means
nothing. I get hundreds of letters like those.

THE GIRL. Still--

STRICKLAND. What?

THE GIRL. You must do something to deserve such letters or they wouldn't
keep on coming in. [_She smiles._] It's a wonderful thing to inspire
such confidence in people?

STRICKLAND. Do you think so?

THE GIRL. It is more than wonderful! It is magnificent! These people
don't know you from Adam. Not one in a hundred has seen you: not one in
a thousand calls you by your first name. But they've all heard of you:
you're as real to them as if you were a member of their family. And what
is even more real than you is your reputation! Something in which they
rest their absolute confidence: something in which they place their
implicit trust!

STRICKLAND [_slowly_]. So you think there are few honest men?

THE GIRL. No: there are many of them. But there is something about you
that is different: something in the tone of your voice: something in the
way you shake hands: something in the look of your eye, that is
reassuring. There is never a doubt--never a question about you. Oh, it's
splendid! Simply splendid! [_She pauses._] What a satisfaction it must
be to you to walk along the street and know that every one you meet must
say to himself, "There goes an honest man!" It's been such an
inspiration to me!

STRICKLAND. To _you_?

THE GIRL. Oh, I know that I'm just one of the office force to you. You
don't even know my name. But you don't imagine that any one can see you
as I have seen you, can work with you as I have worked with you, without
there being _some_ kind of an effect? You know, in my own troubles--

STRICKLAND [_interrupting_]. So _you_ have troubles?

THE GIRL. You don't pay me a very big salary, and there are others whom
I must help. But I'm not complaining. [_She smiles._] I--I used to be
like the other girls. I used to watch the clock. I used to count the
hours and the minutes till the day's work was over. But it's different
now.

STRICKLAND [_slowly_]. How--different?

THE GIRL. I thought it over, and I made up my mind that it wasn't right
to count the minutes you worked for an honest man. [_Strickland turns
away._] And there is a new pleasure in my work: I do my best--that's all
I can do, but _you_ do your best, and it's the _least_ I can do.

STRICKLAND [_after a pause_]. Are you sure--I do my best? Are you sure I
am an honest man?

THE GIRL. Don't you know it yourself, Mr. Strickland?

STRICKLAND [_after another pause_]. You remember--a few minutes ago, you
spoke the name of Alfred Stevens?

THE GIRL. Yes.

STRICKLAND. Suppose I told you that there once _was_ an Alfred Stevens?
[_The girl does not answer._] Suppose I told you that Stevens, whom I
knew, stole money--stole it when there was no excuse for it--when he
didn't need it. His people had plenty, and they gave him plenty. But the
chance came, and he couldn't resist the temptation.... He was eighteen
years old then.

THE GIRL [_gently_]. Only a boy.

STRICKLAND. Only a boy, yes, but he had the dishonest streak in him!
Other boys passed by the same opportunity. Stevens didn't even know what
to do with the money when he had stolen it. They caught him in less than
twenty-four hours. It was almost funny.

THE GIRL. He was punished.

STRICKLAND [_nodding_]. He served a year in jail. God! What a year! His
folks wouldn't do a thing for him: they said such a thing had never
happened in the family. And they let him take the consequences. [_He
pauses._] When he got out--[_stopping to correct himself_]--when he was
_let_ out, his family offered him help. But he was too proud to accept
the help: it hadn't been offered when he needed it most. He told his
family that he never wanted to see them again. He changed his name so
they couldn't find him. He left his home town. He came here.

THE GIRL. And he has been honest ever since!

STRICKLAND. Ever since: for twenty-eight years! It was hard at times,
terribly hard! In the beginning, when he had to go hungry and cold, when
he saw other men riding around in carriages, he wondered if he hadn't
made a mistake. He had knocked about a good deal; he had learnt a lot,
and he wouldn't have been caught so easily the second time. It was
_almost_ worth taking the chance! It was _almost_ worth getting a foot
of lead pipe, and waiting in some dark street, waiting, waiting for some
sleek _honest_ man with his pockets full of money! It would have been so
simple! And he knew _how_! I don't know why he didn't do it.

THE GIRL. Tell me more.

STRICKLAND. He managed to live. It wasn't pleasant living. But he stayed
alive! I don't like to think of what he did to stay alive: it was
humiliating; it was shameful, because he hadn't been brought up to do
that kind of thing, but it was honest. Honest, and when he walked home
from his work at six o'clock, walked home to save the nickel, his
betters never crowded him because they didn't want to soil their clothes
with his _honest_ dirt! He had thought the year in jail was terrible.
The first year he was free was worse. He had never been hungry in jail.

THE GIRL. Then his chance came.

STRICKLAND. Yes, it _was_ a chance. He found a purse in the gutter, and
he returned it to the owner before he had made up his mind whether to
keep it or not. So they said he was honest! He knew he wasn't! He knew
that he had returned it because there was so much money in it that he
was afraid to keep it, but he never told them that. And when the man who
owned the purse gave him a job, he worked--worked because he was afraid
not to work--worked so that he wouldn't have any time to think, because
he knew that if he began to think, he would begin to steal! Then they
said he was a hard worker, and they promoted him: they made him manager.
That gave him more chances to steal, but there were so many men watching
him, so many men anxious for him to make a slip so that they might climb
over him, that he didn't dare.

    [_He pauses._]

THE GIRL. And then?

STRICKLAND. The rest was easy. Nothing succeeds like a good reputation,
and he didn't steal because he knew they'd catch him. [_He pauses
again._] But he wasn't honest at bottom! The rotten streak was still
there! After twenty-eight years things began to be bad. He speculated:
lost all the money he could call his own, and he made up his mind to
take other money that _wasn't_ his own, all he could lay his hands on,
and run off with it! It was wrong! It was the work of a lifetime gone to
hell! But it was the rottenness in him coming to the surface! It was the
thief he thought dead coming to life again!

THE GIRL [_after a pause_]. What a pity!

STRICKLAND. He had been honest so long--he had made other people think
that he was honest so long, that he had made _himself_ think that he was
honest!

THE GIRL. Was he wrong, Mr. Strickland?

STRICKLAND [_looking into her eyes; very quietly_]. Stevens, please.
[_There is a long pause._] I don't know what sent you: who sent you: but
you've come here to-night as I am running away. You're too late. You
can't stop me. Not even the finger of God Himself could stop me! I've
gone too far. [_He goes on in a voice which is low, but terrible in its
earnestness._] Here is money! [_He pulls out his pocketbook._] Hundreds
of thousands of it, not a cent of it mine! And I'm stealing it, do you
understand me? _Stealing_ it! To-morrow the firm will be bankrupt, and
there'll be a reward out for me. [_He smiles grimly, and bows._] Here,
if you please, is your honest man! What have you to say to him?

THE GIRL [_very quietly_]. The man who has been honest so long that he
has made _himself_ think that he is honest can't steal!

STRICKLAND [_hoarsely_]. You believe _that_?

THE GIRL [_opening her bag again_]. I was left a little money this week:
only a few hundred dollars, hardly enough to bother you with. Will you
take care of it for me--Alfred Stevens?

STRICKLAND. Good God!

    [_And utterly unnerved he collapses to a chair. There is a long
    pause._]

THE GIRL [_crossing slowly to the window, and drawing aside the
curtain_]. Look! What a beautiful night! The thousands of sleeping
houses! The millions of shining stars! And the lights beneath! And in
the distance, how the stars and the lights meet! So that one cannot say:
"Here Gods ends; Here Man begins."

    [_The telephone rings, harshly, and shrilly. Strickland goes to the
    receiver._]

STRICKLAND [_quietly_]. Yes?... You're afraid I'm going to miss the
train?... Yes? Well, I'm _going_ to miss the train!... I'm going to stay
and face the music! [_Hysterically._] I'm an honest man, d'ye hear me?
I'm an honest man. [_And furiously, he pitches the telephone to the
floor, and stands panting, shivering, on the spot. From the window a
soft radiance beckons, and trembling in every limb, putting out his
hands as if to ward off some unseen obstacle, he moves there slowly._]
Did you hear what I told him? I'm going to make good. I'm going to face
the music! Because I'm an honest man! An honest man!

    [_He gasps, stops abruptly, and in a sudden panic-stricken
    movement, tears the curtains down. The window is closed--has never
    been opened--but the girl has vanished. And as Strickland, burying
    his face in his hands, drops to his knees in awe,_


  _The Curtain Falls._]




NIGHT

  A PLAY

  BY SHOLOM ASCH


  Translated by Jack Robbins.
  Copyright, 1920, by Sholom Asch.
  All rights reserved.


  NIGHT was originally produced by the East-West Players, at the
  Berkeley Theatre, New York City, April 7, 1916, with the following
  cast:

    THE OUTCAST [_prostitute_]    _Miriam Reinhardt_.
    THE DRUNKARD                  _Mark Hoffman_.
    THE BEGGAR                    _Maxim Vodianoy_.
    THE BASTARD                   _Jack Dickler_.
    THE FOOL                      _Max Lieberman_.
    THE THIEF                     _Gustav Blum_.
    HELENKA                       _Elizabeth Meltzer_.
    THE DRUNKARD'S WIFE           _Bryna Zaranov_.

  Produced under the direction of GUSTAV BLUM.


  Applications for permission to produce NIGHT must be addressed to
  Mr. Sholom Asch, 3 Bank Street, New York.



NIGHT

A PLAY BY SHOLOM ASCH


    [_Night in a market place. A small fire burns near a well. On a
    bench near it sleeps the Beggar. The old Prostitute is warming
    herself. There is the sound of dogs barking in the distance. Vast
    shadows move about the market-place. The Drunkard emerges from the
    gloom of the night._]


DRUNKARD. Good evening, Madam Prostitute. [_Listens to the dogs._] Why
are the dogs whining like this to-night?

PROSTITUTE. They must be seeing things.

DRUNKARD. Yes, your black soul. Perhaps they think you a devil. That's
why they chase all over the butchers' stalls. No wonder. They've reason
to be afraid.

BEGGAR [_in his sleep_]. He-he-he. Ha-ha-ha.

PROSTITUTE. A drunkard and a prostitute are the same thing. None of us
is clean of sin.

BEGGAR [_sleepily_]. Don't take me for a "pal."

    [_Sleeps on._]

DRUNKARD. Leave him alone. He sings hymns the whole day long.

BEGGAR. Poverty is no sin.

DRUNKARD. Don't mix in. [_To the Prostitute._] What do dogs see at
night?

PROSTITUTE. They say that on the first of May the Holy Mother walks
through the market place, and gathers all the stray souls.

DRUNKARD. What have the dogs got to do with it?

PROSTITUTE. They are people laden with sins. People who died without the
Holy Sacrament, and who were buried outside of the fence. At night they
roam about the market in the shape of dogs. They run about in the stalls
of the butchers. The devil, too, stays there, but when the first of May
comes and the prayers begin, the Holy Mother walks through the
market-place. The souls of the damned cling to her dress, and she takes
them with her to Heaven.

    [_Pause for a minute._]

BEGGAR [_turning in his sleep_]. Strong vinegar bursts the cask. Her
soul must be black indeed.

DRUNKARD. It's awful to look into it. You'll be among them yet....

PROSTITUTE. I'm not afraid of that. The mercy of God is great. It will
reach even me. But all of you will be among the dogs too. Those who live
in the street come back to the street after death.

BEGGAR. The street is the home of the beggar. Poverty is no sin.

    [_Stretches himself and sleeps on. There is a pause. The Fool
    comes out of the darkness. He is tall, with a vacant, good-humored
    face, dressed in a soldier's hat, with a wooden toy-sword in his
    girdle. He grins kindly._]

DRUNKARD. Ah, good evening, Napoleon. [_He salutes the Fool._] Where do
you hail from?

FOOL [_grins and chuckles_]. From Turkey. I have driven out the Turk.

DRUNKARD. And where is your army?

FOOL. I have left it on the Vistula.

DRUNKARD. And when will you drive the Russians out of there?

FOOL. I have given my orders already.

DRUNKARD. Are they being carried out?

FOOL. I only need to draw my sword.

DRUNKARD. Your sword?

FOOL. Napoleon gave it to me.

PROSTITUTE. Leave him be. Every one is crazy in his way. [_To the
fool._] You are cold. Come to the fire. He wanders about the hollows the
whole night long.

FOOL [_smiles_]. I've quartered all of my soldiers, but I have no place
for myself to sleep in.

PROSTITUTE. A fool, and yet he knows what he says. [_Gives him bread._]
Do you want to eat?

FOOL. I get my dinner from the tables of Kings.

BEGGAR [_awaking_]. You've brought the fool here too? He's got the whole
market place to be crazy in, and he comes here, where honest people
sleep.

    [_Takes his stick and tries to reach the Fool._]

PROSTITUTE [_defending the Fool_]. Leave him alone I tell you. Crazy
though he be, he still wants to be among people. Like aches for like.

BEGGAR. Let him go to the graveyard, and yell his craziness out among
the graves;--and not disturb honest men in their sleep. The street is
the beggar's home, and I don't want to share it with madmen. All that
the people throw out of their homes, wanders into the street.

    [_He chases the Fool away, and lies down._]

DRUNKARD. Who made you boss here? The street belongs to all. Lie down in
the city hall, in the mayor's bed, if you want to have rest.

PROSTITUTE. Keep still. He has a right to the place. He's had it long
enough.

DRUNKARD. What kind of a right? Are you a newcomer? How long have you
been here?

PROSTITUTE. All my life. I was born in the street, there, behind the
fence near the church. My mother pointed out the place to me. I have
never known any other home, but the street. In the daytime it belongs to
all. When people open their shops, and peasants come in their wagons,
and trade begins, I feel a stranger here, and I hide in the fields near
the cemetery. But when night comes, and people retire into their holes,
then the street is mine. I know every nook and corner of the market
place. It is my home.

DRUNKARD. You've said it well. In that house there, I have a home, a
bed, and a wife. In the daytime I work there. I sit among boots, and
drive nails into heels and soles. And I bear my wife's nagging and
cursing patiently.... But when night comes I can't stand it any longer.
The house becomes too small for me. Something draws me into the street.

PROSTITUTE. It is the curse of the street that rests on you as it does
on the howling dogs. All of us are damned, and we are punished here for
our sins. And we will not be delivered, till the Holy Mother will come,
and we will take hold of her dress, and our souls will be freed.

BEGGAR [_in his sleep_]. He-he-he. Ha-ha-ha.

DRUNKARD [_becomes sad, bows his head_]. In the daytime I don't mind
it. Then I am like other people. I work like all do. But when night
comes....

PROSTITUTE. It's the curse of the street. Don't worry. God will pity all
of us. His mercy is great.

    [_The cry of a child comes from the distance. It resembles the
    howling of a dog._]

DRUNKARD. What's that?

PROSTITUTE. That's Manka's bastard. He strays the street. He wants to
come near the fire.

DRUNKARD. Call him here.

PROSTITUTE. Keep still. [_She points to the Beggar._] He will chase the
boy away. They believe the boy is born of the Devil.

DRUNKARD. Who made him boss here? All of us are children of the Devil.
[_He calls to the boy as one calls to a dog._] Come here, you.

    [_A dumb boy, all in rags, drags himself near. He makes noises
    like a little beast. He trembles with cold. The Prostitute tries
    to quiet him._]

PROSTITUTE. He lies the whole night behind his mother's doorstep. She is
afraid of her husband. Sometimes she gives him a piece of bread, when no
one looks. Thus he crawls like a worm in the street--human flesh and
blood.

DRUNKARD. Let him come near the fire--so. [_He pushes the boy nearer to
the fire._] Give him a piece of bread. I'll take care of any one who
tries to hurt him.

BEGGAR [_awaking_]. No. That's too much. Who brought this here? You know
that the Devil is in him?

    [_Tries to chase the boy away._]

PROSTITUTE [_hiding the boy in her shawl_]. Have pity.

BEGGAR. You're the Devil's wife. That's why you pity his child.

    [_Tries to reach the boy._]

DRUNKARD [_tears the stick from the Beggar's hand_]. We're all the
children of the Devil. You've no more on your hide than he has.

BEGGAR. Don't you start anything. I am a Christian, and believe in God.
I've no home. That's why I sleep on the street. Every dog finds his
hole. But I won't live together with the Devil. And I won't be the
neighbor of a harlot either. Nor was a drunkard ever a friend of mine.
[_He gathers his belongings._] What are you running after me for? This
whole street belongs to the Devil. Why are you trying to stop me?

    [_He tries to go away._]

PROSTITUTE [_detaining him_]. Don't leave us. Let him only warm himself.
He'll go away.

BEGGAR. It does me little honor to be with folk like you anyway.

    [_He goes away._]

DRUNKARD. Why do you hold him back? Let him go if he thinks us below his
dignity.

PROSTITUTE. And do you really think it an honor for one to remain with
you? That man is decent at least.

DRUNKARD. Ah, you grow pious as you grow old.

PROSTITUTE. I have always wanted to be in decent company.

    [_As the Beggar disappears, strange figures begin to show
    themselves in the darkness. Most of them are half-naked. The Fool
    also comes back. A dog comes wandering into the crowd._]

PROSTITUTE [_looking around in terror_]. It's awful to be with so many
sick people. Not one amongst them who is of sound mind. Not one who has
a clean conscience. The Beggar has gone away.

DRUNKARD [_with fear_]. The dogs have also come to the fire.

PROSTITUTE. Even they are drawn to people.

    [_There is a short pause. The Bastard begins to wail._]

DRUNKARD. What's the trouble with him? Take him away.

PROSTITUTE. That's the Devil in him crying--see him gazing at something.

    [_The day begins to grow gray in the east. Strange, awful light
    falls over all. Now one, now another corner of the street appears
    and disappears. All is covered with shadows as in twilight._]

DRUNKARD. Praised be God. The dawn.

PROSTITUTE. How different the light is to-day.

    [_The dogs begin to howl._]

DRUNKARD. What are the dogs howling about? Chase them away from the
fire.

PROSTITUTE. They are looking somewheres. They sniff at the air. They
must see something now.

    [_In the distance is heard the sound of beating against tin
    plates. The dogs howl with fright._]

PROSTITUTE. Something is coming near to us.

    [_The Fool laughs._]

DRUNKARD. What is the Fool laughing at? What is he gazing at? Chase him
away from the fire.

PROSTITUTE. They all see more clearly than we.

    [_The dogs howl again, and gather in one group. Footsteps
    approach._]

DRUNKARD [_frightened_]. Something is coming near to us.

    [_A minute's pause. All waiting in fear. The Thief appears. He
    carries a woman on his shoulders. The woman has a child in her
    arms. They are followed by small, poorly clad boys who hold
    trumpets and kettles in their hands, and make as much noise as
    they can._]

THIEF [_thunders_]. Fall on your knees. Draw off your hats! Do you see
who is coming? The queen! The queen! [_All grow pale, and move aside.
The Thief walks into their midst._] Who is there? Ah, the Fool. Well,
how are your armies getting along? Hold them in readiness. Hold them in
readiness. The Drunkard! Ah, the right man for the game. [_He bows._]
With awe do I kiss the little hand of Madame Prostitute. [_To the
Bastard_]: And your little heir is here also? [_To the woman_]: Take
them with you, oh, Queen. They too are dogs like us, thrown into the
street. Let them come with us, We have room for many, many.

WOMAN. Take them with us, my man. We will all go together.

THIEF [_letting the Woman down_]. Our company is growing big. Come with
us.

DRUNKARD [_awaking from his torpor and looking at the Thief_]. So you
are the thief they let out of prison not long ago. And I was afraid of
you a little while ago. [_He spits._] That's a fine joke. Always at your
play. Who's the woman, and the children? Where did you get them?

THIEF. Brother, this is not play. [_He points to the Woman._] She is a
queen. [_He points to the children._] And they are princes. Every one a
prince. At your knees before her! Take off your hat.

DRUNKARD. I know this gentleman quite well. He likes to joke.

    [_The Thief comes close to him._]

THIEF. To-night is the night when the dogs are delivered. Look at her.
[_He points at the Woman._] Look at us. We were locked in, and we have
come out. We are all one family--dogs. We wander on the street. Men have
shut their doors in our faces. Come, dogs. We will unite to-day. Throw
off your chains, and shake yourself as if you were shaking dust from
your shoulders. You are men after all. I have known you from childhood.
I knew your mother.

DRUNKARD [_wondering_]. I don't know what you mean.

THIEF. Look at yourself. What have they made of you? You walk the street
all night like an outcast. Your children are afraid of you. They hide
when they see you drunk on the street, and weep for you. Are you to
blame for it? You were made one with a mass of flesh you hate. You sit
bent over your boots the whole day long, and curses and blows are hurled
at your head. And when night comes you crawl in the gutter, and you will
crawl there till you will be freed from shame.

DRUNKARD. What are you telling me this for?

THIEF. And are you to blame for this? Have you had one minute of
happiness in your whole life? Who took care of you? You were raised by
your stepfather's cane. Show me the scars on your body. They beat you
from childhood on; first your stepfather, then your "step-wife." No one
ever spoke to you as to a friend. No one ever comforted you in your
grief.

    [_The Drunkard falls to the ground and weeps._]

THIEF [_to the Woman_]. And he is an honest man. I know him. We went to
the same school. He had an honest mother. She loved him only as a mother
can. [_Whispering to the Woman._] She brought him bread behind his
stepfather's back.

DRUNKARD. I will never drink again. I give my word of honor.

    [_He weeps._]

THIEF. Don't cry, brother. We are all dogs of the street. But we unite
to-day. Come with us, come. We will care for you. We will all be
together. Take the Prostitute, and come with us.

    [_The old Prostitute rises and looks amazed._]

PROSTITUTE. Me?

THIEF [_taking her hand_]. We will not turn you, nor avoid you. We know
what you are. You are not to blame. Who brought you up? Who was your
mother? You were born in the street like a goat. Every stone, every hole
in the earth caresses you like a mother. You were thrown into the street
at birth, and men ran from you as from a leper. Any wonder that this is
what became of you? You lay in the street like an old, dirty rag.

PROSTITUTE [_half-crying_]. I am not worthy of such comforting words by
a gentleman.

THIEF. You are worthy. You are like all of us. Your skin is dirty, but
your soul is clean. Wash your sins away, throw the curse from off your
shoulders, and you will become a human being like all of us. You too
long for people. I know you. You are good, you love humanity. It is they
who have cursed you so. You were always a clean child. Wait. Wait. [_He
takes water from the well, and pours it on her._] I wash your head, and
you are a human being like the rest of us. The curse is removed from
you. Look around yourself. Spring is here. Its fragrance is everywhere.
You are a girl yet, a mere child. You know no wickedness. You are in
your father's garden. Your mother sits near the window and looks at
you. You are walking with your beloved.

    [_He takes the Drunkard, puts him side by side with the
    Prostitute, joins their hands, and leads them back and forth._]

PROSTITUTE [_smiles_]. Don't talk to me like that.

THIEF. You are being married now. Virgins come and bring you your bridal
dress, your veil, your myrtle wreath. You are chaste. They lead you to
the altar. Your mother lays her hand on your head and blesses you. Sweet
harp music is heard. Your bridegroom takes his place beside you.

    [_The Prostitute breaks out into tears._]

DRUNKARD [_excited_]. I will be together with her. I will defend her. I
will not let them insult her. She is my sister. I will work for her.

THIEF. That's the way. The dogs unite to-day. [_He takes the Bastard in
his arms and kisses him on the forehead._] And, he, too, is our child.
All of us are dogs of the street. All of us unite to-day.

DRUNKARD [_takes the boy from the Thief_]. He is our child. He will be
with us. [_He takes the arm of the Prostitute._] Come, we will go
together. I will work for you. You will bring him up, and he will be our
child. [_He takes the shawl from the Prostitute, and wraps himself and
the boy in it._] What? You do not hear? Listen. I mean it with my whole
heart.

    [_The Prostitute does not hear. She looks with awe at the Woman._]

THIEF. That's the way. That's the way. That's the way. To-day we unite.
We go together. We will be one with the dogs. [_He caresses all he finds
on the street._] Blow the trumpets, boys. Beat the drums. We choose a
queen to-day. [_To the Fool._] The army waits for you, with swords in
their hands, with spears ready. Do you see the cannon all trained? All
wait for your command. Do you see the foe around you? [_He points to the
street with a broad majestic gesture._] Here stands the army.

FOOL [_happily_]. Yes, yes.

THIEF. Give your order, Napoleon. You are our general. Draw the sword,
and command!

FOOL [_draws his wooden sword and cries loudly as if he saw an army in
the market-place_]. Present arms!

THIEF [_loudly_]. That's the way. The dogs unite to-day. All will unite.
We choose a queen to-day. [_He points to the Woman._] She is worthy of
wearing the crown of the street. Come, queen. Mount to your throne. [_He
bends his back._] Boys, blow your trumpets. Beat your drums. At your
knees. All hats off. The queen comes. The queen comes. So will we go to
our land.

    [_It is grown lighter. The face of the Woman has grown young and
    beautiful, and begins to look like the face of the Holy Mother._]

PROSTITUTE [_who has looked at the Woman with awe, recognizes her in the
gray light, as she sits on the Thief's shoulders with the child in her
arms. She falls to her knees before her, and cries in an unearthly
voice_]. Oh, see, see. It is the Holy Mother. Look at her--her face. She
has come from the church. Oh, it is the holy picture before which I
always pray. I know her. Our Holy Mother in her very flesh. [_She gives
a great cry, and falls prostrate before the Woman._] Oh, Mother, Mother,
take me under Thy protection. [_She falls prostrate, unable to talk any
more. The others are infected with the spirit of her words. They look
with fear at the Woman's face. They recognize the Madonna. They bend
half-ways on their knees. The Thief, who has let her down from his
shoulders, takes off his hat and kneels with the rest. All prostrate
themselves. There is the sound of a church-bell. It is day. From the
open window of a house across the way, leans out the wife of the
Drunkard, and yells._] Ah, ah, what are you doing there. Come into the
house. There is work to be done.

DRUNKARD [_roused from his ecstasy, tears his hand away from that of the
Prostitute, and looks at the Woman with the Thief._] Ha-ha-ha. That's
Helenka, Andrey the Plasterer's wife. Ha-ha-ha. He's cracked a good
joke.

    [_He runs away. The others awake as if from sleep. The Prostitute
    suddenly rises. Helenka tries to escape from the Thief's hands._]

HELENKA. Why did you drag me into the street?

THIEF [_holding her hand_.] Come with me. Remember what we said. Come to
another land with me.

HELENKA [_weeping_]. What does he want with me? Why did he drag me into
the street? Come home, children.

    [_All run from him._]

THIEF [_stands near the well, and thunders after them_]. Dogs, where are
you running?... You dogs, you damned dogs.... [_Townspeople come to the
well with pails, grumbling._] Get out of the way....


  [_Curtain._]




FORGOTTEN SOULS

  A PLAY

  BY DAVID PINSKI
  TRANSLATED AND EDITED BY ISAAC GOLDBERG, PH.D.


  Copyright, 1916, by L. E. Bassett.
  All rights reserved.


  PERSONS

    FANNY SEGAL [_owner of a tailoring establishment_].
    LIZZIE EHRLICH [_a pianist_],     } [_Miss Segal's boarders_].
    HINDES [_a teacher_],             }

  PLACE: _A Russian Provincial Town_.
  TIME: _1916_.


  Reprinted from "Six Plays of the Yiddish Theatre" by permission of,
  and special arrangements with, Dr. Isaac Goldberg and David Pinski.



FORGOTTEN SOULS

A PLAY BY DAVID PINSKI


    [SCENE: _Workroom at Fanny Segal's. A door to the left of the
    spectator, another in the back. A large table, covered with
    various materials; at each side of the table a sewing machine. On
    the wall to the right, a three-panelled mirror; in the corner, a
    large wardrobe. Not far from the wardrobe two dressmaker's forms,
    covered with cloaks. In the middle a broad armchair. Evening._]


FANNY [_runs out through the rear door and soon returns with a letter in
her hand. She tears it nervously open and is absorbed in reading.
Suddenly she gives a scream of delight_]. Oh!--Oh! [_Passes her hand
over her face and through her hair, looks at the letter, cries out anew,
breathing with difficulty. Looks at the letter once more, and exclaims
heavily._] You! My love! My love! [_She is lost for a moment in thought,
then calls._] Lizzie! Lizzie! Lizzie!

LIZZIE [_enters, dressed up as if for a ball, sticking a pin in her hat.
Mocks Fanny's tone._] What's up? What's up? What's up?

FANNY. Read this! Quickly! It's from Berman!

LIZZIE [_takes the letter_]. Why see! We've just been talking about him.
And they really accepted his drama?

    [_Looks at the letter._]

FANNY [_looks on, too, in great excitement_].

LIZZIE [_as she reads_]. That's fine! [_Turns over a page and continues
reading._] Why! This is an actual proposal of marriage, Fanny, my dear!

FANNY [_her breath short from delight_]. Did you understand it that way,
too?

LIZZIE [_still looking at the letter_]. How can it be interpreted
otherwise? [_About to read the letter aloud._] Ahem! [_Reads with a
certain solemnity._] "My drama has been accepted and will be produced
this very winter. The conditions of the contract are first-rate, and the
director promises me a great success, and incidentally a great
reputation." [_Reads over some passages in an indistinct nasal monotone,
then continues._] "My! You ought to see me now.--I've sung and danced so
much that it'll be a wonder to me if I'm not asked to move. I feel so
strong. And now to write, to create, to do things!" [_Reads again in a
nasal monotone, and soon with greater solemnity than before, and a
certain tenderness._] "And now, I hope, better days are in store for us,
happiness of such a nature that you cannot be indifferent to it."
[_Stops reading._] That's a bit veiled, but it's plain talk just the
same. [_Gives Fanny the letter. Speaks lovingly._] Lucky woman! My
darling Fanny! [_Embraces her._] You dear! [_Kisses her._]

FANNY. So that's the way you understand it, too? [_Speaks in gasps,
trembling all over._] Oh! Oh!

    [_Covers her face with the letter, takes it to her lips and
    breathes with difficulty. She takes from her right sleeve a
    handkerchief and wipes her eyes._]

LIZZIE [_moved, embracing her with both arms_]. My dear Fanny! How happy
I am! You dear, you! [_Dreamily._] Now I know how I'll play at the
Ginsbergs' to-night! I'll put my whole soul into the music, and it will
be the merriest, cheeriest soul that ever lived in the world.

FANNY [_bends down and kisses her forehead_]. My faithful friend!

LIZZIE. At last! My dream's come true!

FANNY [_drops into the armchair_]. Your dream?

LIZZIE [_takes a piece of cloth from the table, spreads it out on the
floor, and kneels before Fanny_]. Listen. I dreamed for you a hero
before whom the world, even before seeing him, would bare its head. I
dreamed for you a triumphal march of powerful harmonies, a genius, a
superman, such as only you deserve.

FANNY. Sh! Sh! Don't talk like that!

LIZZIE. No, no. You can't take that away from me. As long as I shall
live I'll never cease admiring you. There aren't many sisters in the
world like you. Why, you never have given a thought to yourself, never a
look, but have worked with might and main to make a somebody out of your
sister. I'll tell you the truth. I've often had the most unfriendly
feelings toward your sister Olga. She takes it so easy there in
Petrograd, while you--

FANNY [_tenderly_]. You're a naughty girl.

LIZZIE. I simply couldn't see how things went on,--how you were working
yourself to death.

FANNY. But that was my happiness, and now I am amply repaid for it, to
see Olga placed upon an independent footing, with a great future before
her as a painter.

LIZZIE. That kind of happiness did not appeal very much to me. I wanted,
for you, a different kind of happiness,--the happiness of being a wife,
of being a mother, of loving and being loved.

FANNY [_in a reverie_]. I had already weaned my thoughts away from love
and family life as the only happiness.

LIZZIE. You poor soul!

FANNY. When my mother died, my road was clearly mapped out for me: to be
to my sister, who is eight years younger than I, both a father and a
mother. That purpose was great and holy to me. I never thought of
anything else. Only in the early twenties, between twenty-two and
twenty-five, a longing for something else came to me. Not that my sister
became a burden to me, God forbid, but I wanted something more, a full
life, happiness and--love. At that time I used to cry very much, and wet
my pillow with my tears, and I was very unhappy. And I was easily
angered then, too, so you see I was far from an angel.

LIZZIE [_draws Fanny nearer, and kisses her_]. You darling, you!

FANNY. But later the longing left me, as if it had been charmed away.
Olga grew older, and her talents began to ripen. Then I forgot myself
altogether, and she became again my sole concern.

LIZZIE. And is that all?

FANNY. What else can there be? Of course, when my sister went to
Petrograd she was no longer under my immediate care and I was left all
alone. The old longing re-awoke in my bosom but I told myself that one
of my years had no right to expect happiness and love? So I determined
to tear out, to uproot from my heart every longing. I tried to convince
myself that my goal in life had already been attained--that I had placed
a helpless child securely upon her feet--

LIZZIE. But you loved Berman all the time, didn't you?

FANNY. Yes, I loved him all the time, but I fought my feelings. Life had
taught me to restrain and to suppress my desires. I argued: He is too
far above me--

LIZZIE. Too far above you?

FANNY [_continuing_]. And I am too worn-out for him. And furthermore, I
tried to make myself believe that his daily visits here were accidental,
that they were not intended for me at all, but for his friend and nephew
Hindes, who happens to board with me.

LIZZIE. But how could you help perceiving that he was something more
than indifference to you? You must have been able to read it in his
eyes.

FANNY [_smiling_]. Well, you see how it is! And perhaps for the very
reason that I had abandoned all ideas of love, and had sought to deceive
myself into believing that I was a dried-up twig on the tree of live--

LIZZIE [_jumping up_]. My! How you sinned against yourself!

FANNY [_rising_]. But now the sap and the strength flow again within
me,--now I am young once more.--Ah! Life, life!--To enjoy it, to drink
it down in copious draughts, to feel it in every pulse-beat--Oh, Lizzie,
play me a triumphal march, a song of joy, of jubilation....

LIZZIE. So that the very walls will dance and the heavens join in the
chorus. [_Goes to the door at the left, singing._] "Joy, thou goddess,
fair, immortal, daughter of Elysium, Mad with rapture--" [_Suddenly
stops._] Sh! Hindes is coming!

    [_Listens._]

FANNY [_she has been standing as if entranced; her whole body trembles
as she awakens to her surroundings. She puts her finger to her nose,
warningly._] Don't say a word to him about it.

LIZZIE. I will! He must know it, he must be happy over it, too. And if
he truly loves you, he will be happy to learn it. And then, once for all
he'll get rid of his notions about winning you.

FANNY. Don't be so inconsiderate.

LIZZIE. Leave it to me!... Hindes! Hindes!

FANNY. It's high time you left for the Ginsbergs'.

LIZZIE. I've a few minutes yet.... Hindes! Hindes!

HINDES [_appears at the rear door. He wears spectacles; under his left
arm a crutch, under his right arm books, and in his hands various bags
of food_].

FANNY [_steals out through the door at the left_].

HINDES. Good evening. What's the news?

LIZZIE. Come here! Quick! Fa--

HINDES. Won't you give me time to carry my parcels into my room?

LIZZIE. Not even a second! Fanny has--

HINDES [_taking an apple from a bag_]. Have an apple.

LIZZIE [_refusing it_]. Let me speak, won't you! Fa--

HINDES. May I at least sit down?

LIZZIE [_loudly_]. Fanny has received a letter from Berman!

HINDES [_taking a seat_]. Saying that his drama has been accepted. I,
too, have received a letter from Berman.

LIZZIE. That's nothing. The point is that he is seeking to make a match
with her. He has practically proposed to her.

HINDES [_astonished_]. Practically proposed? To Fanny?

LIZZIE. Yes, and when Fanny comes back you just see to it that you wish
her a right friendly congratulation, and that you make no--[_Stops
suddenly._] Hm! I came near saying something silly.--Oh, I'm so happy,
and I'd just have the whole world happy with me. Do you hear? You must
help her celebrate, do you hear? And now, good night to you, for I must
run along to the Ginsbergs'.

    [_Turns to the door at the left singing: "Joy, thou goddess, fair,
    immortal...."_]

HINDES [_calling after her_]. But--the devil. Miss Ehrlich!

LIZZIE [_at the door_]. I haven't a single moment to spare for the
devil.

    [_She disappears._]

HINDES [_grunts angrily, throws his crutch to the ground, places his
books and his packages on a chair, and mumbles_]. What mockery is this!

    [_Takes out a letter from his inside pocket and reads it over
    several times. Grunts again. Rests his head heavily upon his
    hands, and looks vacantly forward, as if deeply puzzled._]

FANNY [_enters, embarrassed_]. Good evening, Hindes!

HINDES [_mumbles, without changing his position_]. Good evening!

FANNY [_looks at him in embarrassment, and begins to busy herself with
the cloaks on the forms._]

HINDES [_still in the same position. He taps his foot nervously. He soon
ceases this, and speaks without looking at Fanny_]. Miss Segal, will you
permit me to see Berman's letter?

FANNY [_with a nervous laugh_]. That's a bit indiscreet--not at all like
a cavalier.

HINDES [_same position and same tone_]. Will you permit me to see
Berman's letter?

FANNY [_with a laugh of embarrassment, throws him the letter, which she
has been holding in her sleeve_]. Read it, if that's how you feel.

HINDES [_bends slowly down, gets the letter, commences to read it, and
then to grumble_]. H'm! So! [_He lets the letter fall to his knee, and
stares vacantly before him. He shakes his foot nervously and mumbles as
if to himself._] To be such an idiot!

FANNY [_regards him with astonishment_].

HINDES [_somewhat more softly_]. To be such an idiot!

FANNY [_laughing, still embarrassed_]. Who?

HINDES. Not I.

    [_Picks up his crutch, the books and the parcels, arises, and
    gives the letter to Fanny._]

FANNY [_beseechingly_]. Hindes, don't take it so badly. You make me very
sad.

HINDES. I'm going to my room, so you won't see me.

FANNY [_as before_]. Don't speak to me like that, Hindes. Be my good
friend, as you always were. [_In a lower tone, embarrassed._] And be
good to Berman. For you know, between us, between you and me, there
could never have been anything more than friendship.

HINDES. There is no need of your telling me that. I know what I know and
have no fault to find with you.

FANNY. Then why are you so upset, and why do you reproach yourself?

HINDES. Because....

FANNY. Because what?

HINDES [_after an inner struggle, stormily_]. Because I am in a rage! To
think of a chap writing such a veiled, ambiguous, absolutely botched
sentence, and cooking up such a mess!

FANNY. What do you mean by all this?

HINDES. You know, Miss Segal, what my feelings are toward you, and you
know that I wish you all happiness. I assure you that I would bury deep
within me all my grief and all my longing, and would rejoice with a full
heart--if things were as you understood them from Berman's letter.

FANNY. As I understood them from Berman's letter?

HINDES. --And what rouses my anger and makes me hesitate is that it
should have had to happen to you and that I must be the surgeon to cut
the cataract from your eye.

FANNY [_astounded_]. Drop your rhetorical figures. End your work. Cut
away, since you've begun the cutting.

HINDES [_without looking at her, deeply stirred_]. Berman did not mean
you.

FANNY. Not me?

HINDES. Not you, but your sister.

FANNY [_with an outcry_]. Oh!--

HINDES. He writes me that his first meeting with her was as if the
splendor of God had suddenly shone down upon him,--that gradually he was
inflamed by a fiery passion, and that he hopes his love is returned,
that....

FANNY [_falls upon a chair, her face turned toward the table. She breaks
into moaning_]. She has taken from me everything!

    [_In deepest despair, with cries from her innermost being, she
    tears at her hair._]

HINDES [_drops his books and packages to the floor. Limps over to Fanny,
and removes her hands from her head_]. You have good reason to weep, but
not to harm yourself.

FANNY [_hysterically_]. She has taken from me everything! My ambition to
study, my youth, my fondest hopes, and now....

HINDES. And now?--Nothing. As you see, Berman never loved you. If it
hadn't been for that unfortunate, ambiguous, absolutely botched, simply
idiotic sentence....

FANNY [_softly_]. Hindes, I feel that I no longer care to live.

HINDES. Folly!

FANNY. I feel as if my heart had been torn in two. My soul is empty,
desolate ... as if an abyss had opened before me.... What have I now in
life for? I can live no longer!

HINDES. Folly! Nonsense!

FANNY. I have already lived my life....

HINDES. Absurd!

FANNY [_resolutely_]. I know what I'm talking about, and I know what to
do.

    [_Silence._]

HINDES [_regarding her closely. With blunt emphasis_]. You're thinking
now over what death you shall choose.

FANNY [_motionless_].

HINDES [_taking a seat_]. Let me tell you a story. There was once upon a
time a man who--not through doubt and misfortune, but rather through
good times and pleasures, came to the conclusion that life wasn't worth
living. So he went off to buy a revolver. On his way a great clamor
arose in the street. A house had caught fire and in a moment was in
flames. Suddenly, at one of the windows in the top story there appeared
a woman. The firemen had placed their highest ladders against the
building and a man began to climb up. That man was none other than our
candidate for suicide. He took the woman out of the window, gave her to
the firemen who had followed him up, and then went through the window
into the house. The surrounding crowd trembled with fear lest the house
should cave in at the very last moment. Flames already appeared at the
window, and people were sure that the hero had been burned to death
inside. But he had not been burned; he soon appeared on the roof, with a
small child in his arms. The ladders could not reach to this height, so
the firemen threw him a rope. He tied the rope about the child and
lowered it to the firemen. But he himself was beyond rescue. He folded
his hands over his heart, and tears trickled from his eyes. He, who but
a moment before had sought death, now desired not to die. No, he wanted
to live, for in that moment he had found a purpose: to live and to do
good.

FANNY [_angrily_]. To do good! I'm tired of doing good!

HINDES. Don't sin against yourself, Fanny!

FANNY. Do good! I have done good; I have lived for others, not myself;
and now you can see for yourself that I have not fulfilled my life. I
feel as wretched as the most miserable, as the most wicked, and I long
for death even as the most unhappy!

HINDES [_looking at her from under his spectacles_]. Does Olga know of
your feelings toward Berman?

FANNY [_angrily_]. I don't know what she knows.

HINDES. Can't you give me any better reply than that?

FANNY. What can I know? I used to write her letters just full of Berman.

HINDES. Could Olga have gathered from them that you were not
indifferently disposed toward him?

FANNY. What do you mean by this cross-examination?

HINDES. I have a notion that if you were to do what you have in your
mind at present,--a thing I cannot bring myself to name,--then Olga
would not accept Berman's love. Rather she would take her own life,
since she would look upon herself as the cause of your death.

FANNY. What's this you've thought up?

HINDES. Just what you heard.

FANNY. And you mean--?

HINDES. --That you know your sister and ought to realize what she's
liable to do.

FANNY [_in a fit of anger_]. First she takes away my life, and now she
will not let me die!

    [_Her head sinks to the table._]

HINDES. There spoke the true Fanny, the Fanny of yore.

FANNY [_weeps bitterly_].

HINDES. Well may you weep. Weep, Fanny, weep until the tears come no
more. But when that is over, then dry your eyes and never weep again.
Dry forever the source of all your tears. That's exactly what I did, do
you understand? Such people as you and I, robbed of personal happiness,
must either weep forever, or never weep at all. I chose the latter
course. Harden yourself, Fanny, and then fold your arms on your breast
and look fearlessly forward into life, fulfilling it as your heart
dictates.

FANNY [_continues weeping_].

HINDES [_noticing Berman's letter on the table, takes it up and throws
it down angrily_]. Such a botched, idiotic sentence! And he's a poet!

FANNY [_raising her head_]. If things are as you say, then Olga will in
any case reject Berman. She will imagine that she is taking him away
from me, and such a thing she would never do.

HINDES. Perhaps. [_Suddenly, bluntly._] And what will be the effect of
all this upon you?

FANNY [_brokenly_]. Who's thinking of self? I mean that I want her to
have him.

HINDES. There's the old Fanny again!

FANNY. Ah! Enough of that! Better help me with some suggestion.

HINDES. Some suggestion? Be her matchmaker.

FANNY. And suppose she should turn the tables and want to be my
matchmaker?

HINDES. We've got to think that over.

    [_Silence._]

FANNY [_brokenly_]. Hindes!

HINDES. What?

FANNY. I have an idea.

HINDES. Good.

FANNY. But I need your aid.

HINDES. Count on me, if I'm able.

FANNY. Do you promise?

HINDES. Blindly?

FANNY. Blindly.

HINDES [_looks at her_]. Why must I promise you blindly? If I'm able,
you may be sure I'll help.

FANNY [_brokenly, yet in embarrassment_]. Take me.... Marry me.

HINDES [_for a moment he looks at her, then picks up his crutch, his
books and the packages_].

FANNY [_beseechingly_]. Hindes! If I should marry, Olga wouldn't have
any obstacle in her way.

HINDES. Miss Segal, I have loved you, and still do. But I refuse to be
the altar upon which you shall sacrifice yourself.

FANNY. But a moment ago you dissuaded me from death. Will you now drive
me back to it?

HINDES. Your sister will be able to find happiness without Berman.

FANNY. But if she loves him?--

HINDES. Then she'll suffer, just as we do.

FANNY. No! Olga must not suffer! Do you hear! I'll not have it!

HINDES. That is very nice of you.

FANNY [_through her tears_]. Hindes, I no longer know you.

HINDES [_turns toward the door_]. Good night.

FANNY [_is overcome by sobbing_].

HINDES [_limps to the door, then stops. Looks downwards, then raises his
eyes toward Fanny_]. Miss Segal, why is it that during all the time that
I have boarded with you I have made no declaration of love, that I have
never proposed marriage?

FANNY [_weeps_].

HINDES. I'll tell you. Wasn't it because I knew that you didn't love me,
and because I wanted your love, not merely your respect?

FANNY [_firmly_]. No. You didn't do it simply because you knew that I
would refuse you.

HINDES. And suppose I expected "Yes" from you?

FANNY. Then you would have proposed.

HINDES. And married you without your love?

FANNY. Yes.

HINDES. But then I didn't know that you loved another.

FANNY [_brokenly_]. The other no longer exists for me.

HINDES [_looks again at the floor. Silence_].

FANNY. Hindes!

HINDES. Yes?

FANNY. Come nearer to me.

HINDES. I am lame.

FANNY. Put all your bundles aside.

HINDES [_hesitates for a moment, then puts down his books and
packages_].

FANNY [_as if in embarrassment_]. Everything.... Everything....

HINDES [_bluntly_]. Don't be ashamed. Say just what you mean: Lay aside
the crutch, too.

    [_He lays aside the crutch._]

FANNY [_arises, takes his hand_]. Hindes, you know my attitude toward
you. You know how highly I esteem you, how happy I've always been to
possess in you a good, true friend.... [_Nestles her head against him,
coyly._] Embrace me, and give me a kiss, a hot, passionate kiss. Put
into it your whole love, make it express your whole true soul.
[_Brokenly, and in tears._] I tell you, our life will be--happy. We
souls, forgotten by happiness, will yet find it--in our own way--as best
we can. [_Less tearfully._] You'll see how it'll soon be. Lizzie will
come home and she'll play us a march of jubilation, a march of joy....
[_Brokenly._] She owes it to me!... I'll dance, I tell you; I'll dance
for two. You'll see. And I'll sing. I'll turn things upside down.
Hindes, kiss me, hotly, hotly.

HINDES [_passionately, through tears_]. You.... You....

    [_He gives her a long kiss, as if entranced._]


  [_Slow Curtain._]


       *       *       *       *       *




BIBLIOGRAPHY

OF THE LITTLE THEATRE




FOREWORD


What is wanting in this list the reader will only too soon discover for
himself. I do not, however, wish to offer a faltering apology for the
incompleteness of the work. In truth, it needs none. Nevertheless, a
brief word of explanation may not be amiss.

The duties of the bibliographer are more or less mechanical. He merely
collects his data from the most available sources or from arcana known
only to a few, arranges his material alphabetically and sends his copy
to the printer.

The present list is an exception to the general practice. It will be
noted that the bibliographer has broken his traces, forsaken his
accustomed field and intruded, in some measure, upon the province of the
critic. From the great mass of plays accessible in English I have sought
to select only those which I hold best adapted to the little theater as
it is to-day constituted. On the whole, they are plays which have
encountered a certain measure of success or that I felt to be worthy of
production. Rigid care has been taken to exclude such dramatic pieces
which are fittingly described as "side-splitting farces." The latter
contribute nothing to the art theater. Box and Cox, I doubt not, may be
excruciatingly funny, but few would care to hear that Sam Hume, for
instance, was about to produce it. Not that genuine laughter hasn't its
place in the modern theater; but we cannot laugh to-day at the archaic
drolleries of yesterday. We cannot abandon ourselves to papier-maché
characterization in the theater. And this is what the art theater
accomplished in its brief stay with us.

                                                                 F. S.




THE BOOKS OF THE LITTLE THEATRE


  ANTHONY, Luther B.
    DRAMATOLOGY. A Manual of Craftsmanship

  APPIA, Adolphe
    DIE MUSIK UND DIE INSCENIERUNG

  ARCHER, William
    PLAY MAKING. A Manual of Craftsmanship
    ABOUT THE THEATRE

  ARCHER, William, and BARKER, Granville
    A NATIONAL THEATRE. Schemes and Estimates

  ARNOLD, Robert S.
    DAS MODERNE DRAMA

  AUSTIN, Stephen F.
    THE PRINCIPLES OF DRAMA-THERAPY


  BAKER, George Pierce
    THE TECHNIQUE OF THE DRAMA
    DRAMATIC TECHNIQUE

  BAKSHY, Alexander
    THE PATH OF THE MODERN RUSSIAN STAGE

  BICKLEY, Francis
    J. M. SYNGE AND THE IRISH DRAMATIC MOVEMENT

  BLEACKLEY, J. Arthur
    THE ART OF MIMICRY

  BOOTH, William Stone
    A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR AUTHORS AND PLAYWRIGHTS

  BOURGEOIS, Maurice
    JOHN MILLINGTON SYNGE AND THE IRISH THEATRE

  BOYD, Ernest A.
    THE CONTEMPORARY DRAMA OF IRELAND

  BROADBENT, R. J.
    A HISTORY OF PANTOMIME

  BROWNE, Maurice
    THE TEMPLE OF A LIVING ART

  BROWNE, Van Dyke
    SECRETS OF SCENE PAINTING AND STAGE EFFECTS

  BRUNETIERE, Ferdinand
    THE LAW OF THE DRAMA, with an introduction by Henry Arthur Jones.
      Translated by P. M. Hayden

  BURLEIGH, Louise
    THE COMMUNITY THEATRE

  BURTON, Richard
    HOW TO SEE A PLAY


  CALTHROP, Dion Clayton
    ENGLISH COSTUME. Four volumes

  CALVERT, Louis
    PROBLEMS OF THE ACTOR

  CANNAN, Gilbert
    THE JOY OF THE THEATRE

  CANNON, Fanny
    WRITING AND SELLING A PLAY

  CARTER, Huntley
    THE NEW SPIRIT IN DRAMA AND ART
    THE THEATRE OF MAX REINHARDT

  CHENEY, Sheldon
    THE OPEN AIR THEATRE
    THE THEATRE ARTS MAGAZINE
    THE NEW MOVEMENT IN THE THEATRE
    THE ART THEATRE

  CLARK, Barrett H.
    HOW TO PRODUCE AMATEUR PLAYS
    CONTINENTAL DRAMA OF TO-DAY
    BRITISH AND AMERICAN DRAMA OF TO-DAY
    EUROPEAN THEORIES OF THE DRAMA

  COLLES, W. M., and HARDY, H.
    PLAYWRIGHT AND COPYRIGHT IN ALL COUNTRIES

  COQUELIN, Constant
    ART AND THE ACTOR. Translated by A. L. Alger

  CRAIG, Gordon
    THE ART OF THE THEATRE
    ON THE ART OF THE THEATRE
    A LIVING THEATRE
    TOWARDS A NEW THEATRE
    THE THEATRE--ADVANCING


  DEAN, Basil
    THE REPERTORY THEATRE, 1911

  DICKINSON, Thomas H.
    THE CONTEMPORARY DRAMA OF ENGLAND
    THE INSURGENT THEATRE


  EDWARDS, O.
    JAPANESE PLAYS AND PLAYFELLOWS


  FENELLOSA, Ernest, and POUND, Ezra
    "NO"; or ACCOMPLISHMENT

  FRY, Emma Sheridan
    EDUCATIONAL DRAMATICS


  GILLETTE, William
    THE ILLUSION OF THE FIRST TIME IN ACTING

  GOLDMAN, Emma
    THE SOCIAL SIGNIFICANCE OF THE MODERN DRAMA

  GREGORY, Lady
    OUR IRISH THEATRE


  HAMILTON, Clayton
    THEORY OF THE THEATRE
    STUDIES IN STAGECRAFT
    PROBLEMS OF THE PLAYWRIGHT

  HASTINGS, Charles
    THE THEATRE. Its Development in France and England and a History
      of Its Greek and Latin Origins

  HENDERSON, Archibald
    THE CHANGING DRAMA
    EUROPEAN DRAMATISTS

  HENNEQUIN, Alfred
    THE ART OF PLAYWRITING

  HILLIARD, E., McCORMICK, T., and OGLEBAY, K.
    AMATEUR AND EDUCATIONAL DRAMATICS

  HORNBLOW, Arthur
    TRAINING FOR THE STAGE. Some Hints for Those About to Choose
      the Player's Career

  HORRWITZ, Ernest P.
    THE INDIAN THEATRE. A Brief Survey of the Sanskrit Drama

  HOWE, P. P.
    THE REPERTORY THEATRE

  HUBERT, Philip G.
    THE STAGE AS A CAREER

  HUNT, Elizabeth R.
    THE PLAY OF TO-DAY


  IZUMO, Takeda. Translated by M. C. Marcus
    THE PINE TREE. With an Introductory Causerie on the Japanese Theatre


  JONES, Henry Arthur
    RENASCENCE OF THE ENGLISH DRAMA
    FOUNDATIONS OF A NATIONAL DRAMA
    THE THEATRE OF IDEAS


  KROWS, Arthur Edwin
    PLAY PRODUCTION IN AMERICA


  LAWRENCE, W. J.
    THE ELIZABETHAN PLAYHOUSE

  LEWES, G. H.
    ON ACTORS AND THE ART OF ACTING

  LEWIS, B. Roland
    THE TECHNIQUE OF THE ONE-ACT PLAY: A Study in Dramatic Construction

  LEWISOHN, Ludwig
    THE MODERN DRAMA


  MACCARTHY, Desmond
    THE COURT THEATRE

  MACCLINTOCK, Lander
    THE CONTEMPORARY DRAMA OF ITALY

  MACKAY, Constance D'Arcy
    COSTUMES AND SCENERY FOR AMATEURS; A Practical Working Handbook
    THE LITTLE THEATRE IN THE UNITED STATES

  MACKAY, F. F.
    THE ART OF ACTING

  MACKAYE, Percy
    COMMUNITY DRAMA
    THE CIVIL THEATRE
    THE PLAYHOUSE AND THE PLAY
    PATRIOTIC DRAMA IN YOUR TOWN

  MACKINNON, Alan
    THE OXFORD AMATEURS

  MANTIZIUS, Karl
    HISTORY OF THEATRICAL ART IN ANCIENT AND MODERN TIMES. Five volumes

  McCLEOD, Addison
    PLAYS AND PLAYERS IN MODERN ITALY

  McEWEN, E. J.
    FREYTAG'S TECHNIQUE OF THE DRAMA

  MATTHEWS, Brander
    ON ACTING

  MODERWELL, Hiram Kelly
    THE THEATRE OF TO-DAY

  MONTAGUE, C. E.
    DRAMATIC VALUES

  MORSE, Elizabeth
    PRINCIPLES OF EXPRESSION: A Guide for Developing Readers, Speakers
      and Dramatic Artists


  NICHOLSON, Watson
    THE STRUGGLE FOR A FREE STAGE IN LONDON


  PALMER, John
    THE FUTURE OF THE THEATRE COMEDY
    THE CENSOR AND THE THEATRE

  PHELPS, William Lyon
    THE TWENTIETH CENTURY THEATRE

  POLLAK, Gustav
    FRANZ GRILLPARZAR AND THE AUSTRIAN DRAMA

  POLTI, George. Translated by Lucille Ray
    THE THIRTY-SIX DRAMATIC SITUATIONS

  PRICE, W. T.
    TECHNIQUE OF THE DRAMA
    ANALYSIS OF PLAY CONSTRUCTION AND DRAMATIC PRINCIPLE
    THE PHILOSOPHY OF DRAMATIC PRINCIPLE AND METHOD


  RENNERT, Hugo A.
    THE SPANISH STAGE

  RILEY, Alice C. D.
    THE ONE-ACT PLAY. A Study Course in Three Parts

  ROUCHE, Jacques
    L'ART THEATRAL MODERNE


  SACHS, Edward O.
    STAGE CONSTRUCTION

  SAYLER, Oliver M.
    THE RUSSIAN THEATRE UNDER THE REVOLUTION

  SEPET, Marius
    ORIGINES CATHOLIQUES DE THEATRE MODERNE

  SHAW, George Bernard
    DRAMATIC OPINIONS AND ESSAYS

  SHAY, Frank
    THE PLAYS AND BOOKS OF THE LITTLE THEATRE. A Listing of Over 1000
      One-Act Plays Available in Printed Form

  SMITH, Winifred
    THE COMMEDIA DELL'ARTE. A Study of Italian Popular Comedy

  STOPES, Marie C.
    THE PLAYS OF OLD JAPAN. The No.


  TAYLOR, Emerson
    PRACTICAL STAGE DIRECTING FOR AMATEURS

  THEATRICAL SCENE PAINTING: A Thorough and Complete Work on How to
      Sketch, Paint and Install Theatrical Scenery

  THE TRUTH ABOUT THE THEATRE

  TURRELL, Charles A.
    CONTEMPORARY SPANISH DRAMATISTS


  WAUGH, Frank A.
    OUTDOOR THEATRES

  WITKOWSKI, George. Translated by L. E. Horning
    THE GERMAN DRAMA OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY

  WOODBRIDGE, Elizabeth
    THE DRAMA. Its Law and Technique


       *       *       *       *       *




THE PLAYS OF THE LITTLE THEATRE


ABBREVIATIONS

  a--Allegory
  c--Comedy
  d--Drama
  m--Masque
  p--Play
  s--Satire
  m--Men, or Male Characters
  w--Women, or Female Characters
  j--Juvenile
  i--Characters played by either sex


  ABERCROMBIE, Lascelles
    THE ADDER

  AKINS, Zoe
    DID IT REALLY HAPPEN?
    THE MAGICAL CITY
    SUCH A CHARMING YOUNG MAN

  ALDRICH, Thos. Bailey
    SISTERS' TRAGEDY
      CORYDON, a Pastoral. 2m
      PAULINE PAVLOVNA. p. 1m 1w supers      _Houghton_

  ALDIS, Mary
    PLAYS FOR SMALL STAGES
      MRS. PAT AND THE LAW. p 2m 2w 1j
      THE DRAMA CLASS AT TANKAHA, NEV. c 2m 9w
      EXTREME UNCTION. d 1m 4w
      THE LETTER. p 2m 1j
      TEMPERAMENT. t 1m 2w
        Five plays in one volume             _Duffield_

  ANCEY, Georges.
    See "Four Plays for the Free Theatre."

  ANDREWS, K.
    AMERICA PASSES BY. p 2m 2w               _Baker_

  ANDREYEV, Leonid
    LOVE OF ONE'S NEIGHBOR. s 15m 7w 1j      _Shay_

  D'ANNUNZIO, Gabriele
    DREAM OF AN AUTUMN SUNSET. p 2m 4w       _Poet Lore_
    DREAM OF A SPRING MORNING. p 3m 4w       _Poet Lore_

  ARISTOPHANES
    LYSISTRATA. s 4m 5w 1j                   _French_

  ARKELL, Reginald
    COLUMBINE, a fantasy. 4m 1w              _S. & J._

  AUGIER, Emile
    THE POSTSCRIPT. c 1m 2w                  _French_

  AUGIER, Emile, and de MUSSET, Alfred
    THE GREEN COAT. c 3m 1w                  _French_

  AUSTEN, Alfred
    A LESSON IN HARMONY. p 3m 1w             _French_


  BACON, Mrs. Josephine Dodge
    THE TWILIGHT OF THE GODS. p 2 scenes     _Kennerley_

  BAKER, Elizabeth
    MISS TASSY. p                            _Sidgwick_

  BALLARD, J. Fred
    THE GOOD NEWS. d 3m 1w 1j                _Harvard_

  BANGS, John Kendrick
    THE REAL THING, etc.
      THE REAL THING. c 2m 5w
      THE BARRINGTONS' "AT HOME." c 2m 3w
      THE RETURN OF CHRISTMAS. c 4m 3w
      THE SIDE SHOW. c 8m 3w
        Four plays in one volume             _Harpers_
    THE BICYCLERS, etc.
      THE BICYCLERS. c 4m 3w
      A DRAMATIC EVENING. c 4m 3w
      THE FATAL MESSAGE. c 5m 4w
      A PROPOSAL UNDER DIFFICULTIES. c 3m 2w
        Four plays in one volume             _Harpers_

  BANNING, Kendall
    "Copy." p 7m                             _Clinic_

  DE BANVILLE, Theodore
    GRINGOIRE. c 4m 2w supers                _Poet Lore_
    GRINGOIRE. c 4m 2w                       _Dramatic_
    CHARMING LEANDRE. c 2m 1w                _French_

  BARBER, M. E.
    MECHANICAL JANE. c 3W                    _French_

  BARGATE, John
    THE PRIZE. p 4m 3w                       _French_

  BARKER, Granville
    ROCOCO. f m w
    VOTE BY BALLOT. p m w
    FAREWELL TO THE THEATRE. p m w
      Three plays in one volume              _Little_
    ANATOL. (_See_ Schnitzler.)

  BARRIE, James M.
    HALF HOURS
      PANTALOON. p 3m
      THE TWELVE POUND LOOK. c 2m 2w
      ROSALIND. p 1m 2w
      THE WILL. p 6m 1w
        Four plays in one vol.               _Scribner's_
      THE TRAGIC MAN                         _Scribner's_
    ECHOES OF WAR
      OLD LADY SHOWS HER MEDALS. p 1m 5w
      THE NEW WORLD. p 2m 2w
      BARBARA'S WEDDING. p 3m 1w
      A WELL-REMEMBERED VOICE. p 2m 2w
        Four plays in one vol.               _Scribner's_

  BATES, W. O.
    POLLY OF POGUE'S RUN. p 6m 2w            _Shay_

  BEACH, Lewis
    THE CLOD. p 4m 1w                        _Shay_
    BROTHERS. p 3m                           _Shay_
    A GUEST FOR DINNER                       _Shay_

  BECHHOFER, C. E.
    FIVE RUSSIAN PLAYS, etc.
      EVREINOV, N. A MERRY DEATH. c 5m
      EVREINOV, N. THE BEAUTIFUL DESPOT. c 5m 3w 1j
      VON VIZIN, D. THE CHOICE OF A TUTOR. c 5m 3w
      CHEKOV, A. THE WEDDING. c 9m 3w
      CHEKOV, A. THE JUBILEE. c 5m 1w
      UKRAINKA, L. THE BABYLONIAN CAPTIVITY. d 1m 7i
        Six plays in one vol.                _Dutton_

  BECQUE, Henri
    THE VULTURES, etc.
      THE MERRY-GO-ROUND. c 4m 1w            _Little_

  BELL, Mrs. Hugh, and CECIL, A.
    TIME IS MONEY. c 1m 2w                   _French_

  BELMONT, Mrs. O. H. P., and MAXWELL, Elsa
    MELINDA AND HER SISTERS. p 6m 12w        _Shores_

  BEITH, Ian Hay
    THE CRIMSON COCOANUT, etc.
      THE CRIMSON COCOANUT. c 4m 2w
      A LATE DELIVERY. p 3m 2w
      THE MISSING CARD. c 2m 2w
        Three plays in one vol.              _Baker_
      QUEEN OF HEARTS. c 2m 2w               _Penn_

  BENEDIX, Roderich
    THE LAW OF SUIT. c 5m                    _French_
    THE THIRD MAN. c 1m 3w                   _French_

  BENEVENTE, Jacinto. PLAYS
    HIS WIDOW'S HUSBAND. c 2m 5w
      With other plays in one vol.           _Scribner_
    THE SMILE OF THE MONA LISA. p 5m 1i      _Badger_
    NO SMOKING. c 2m 2w                      _Drama_, _Feb._, 1917
    IN THE PLACE OF DON JUAN. p 3m 2w        _Poet Lore_

  BENNETT, Arnold. POLITE FARCES
    THE STEPMOTHER. c 2m 1w
    A GOOD WOMAN. 3 cm 1w
    A QUESTION OF SEX. c 2m 2w
      Three plays in one volume              _Doran_

  BERINGER, Mrs. Oscar
    HOLLY TREE INN. p 4m 3w                  _French_

  BERNARD, Tristan
    FRENCH WITHOUT A MASTER. c 5m 2w         _French_
    I'M GOING! c 1m 1w                       _French_

  BIRO, Lajos
    THE BRIDEGROOM. p 5m 6w
    THE GRANDMOTHER. p 3m 8w
      Two plays in one number                _Drama_, _May_, 1918

  BLOCH, Bertram
    THE MAIDEN OVER THE WALL. f 2m 1w        _Drama_, _Aug._, 1918
    MORALS AND CIRCUMSTANCES. p 2m 3w        _Smart Set_, _April_, 1919

  BODENHEIM, Maxwell
    THE WANDERER. p 4m 2w                    _Seven Arts_
    THE MASTER POISONER.
      "In Minna and Myself"                  _Pagan_

  BONE, F. D.
    A DAUGHTER OF JAPAN. d                   _French_
    PRIDE OF THE REGIMENT. p 2m 1w           _French_

  BOTTOMLEY, Gordon
    LAODICE AND DANAE. p 1m 5w               _Four_
    KING LEAR'S WIFE. p                      _Reynolds_

  BOUCHOR, Maurice
    A CHRISTMAS TALE. p 2m 2w                _French_

  BOUCICAULT, Dion
    MY LITTLE GIRL. d 3m 2w                  _French_
    LOVER BY PROXY. c 6m 4w                  _French_

  BOYCE, Neith, and HAPGOOD, Hutchins
    ENEMIES. p 1m 1w                         _Shay_

  BOYCE, Neith
    THE TWO SONS. p 2m 2w                    _Shay_

  BRAGDON, Claude
    THE GIFT OF ASIA. p 2m                   _Forum_, _March_, 1913

  BRANCH, Anna Hempstead
    THE ROSE OF THE WIND. p 2m 2w            _Houghton_
    SHOES THAT DANCED. p 3m 5w 1j            _Houghton_

  BRETHERTON, Evangeline
    THE MINISTER'S MESSENGER. p 14w          _French_

  BRIDGHAM, G. R.
    EXCUSE ME! c Two acts. 4m 6w             _Baker_
    A MODERN CINDERELLA. Two acts. p 16w     _Baker_

  BRIEUX, Eugene
    SCHOOL FOR MOTHERS-IN-LAW. p 2m 4w       _Smart Set_, _Sept._, 1913

  BRIGHOUSE, Harold
    SCARING OFF OF TEDDY DAWSON. c 2m 2w     _French_
    LONESOME-LIKE. p 2m 2w                   _Phillips_
    THE PRICE OF COAL. p
    THE MAID OF FRANCE. p 3m 2w              _Phillips_
    THE DOORWAY. p                           _Joseph Williams_
    SPRING IN BLOOMSBURY. p                  _Joseph Williams_

  BRIGGS, Caroline
    ONE A DAY. c 5m                          _Shay_
    In "Morningside Plays."

  BROOKE, Rupert
    LITHUANIA. d 5m 2w                       _Chicago_

  BROWN, Alice
    JOINT OWNERS IN SPAIN. c 4w              _Baker_
    THE LOVING CUP. p 4m 9w                  _Baker_

  BROWNE, Maurice
    KING OF THE JEWS. p                      _Drama_, _Vol._ 6, 1916

  BROWNING, Robert
    IN A BALCONY. p 1m 2w                    _Dramatic_

  BRUNNER, Emma Beatrice. BITS OF BACKGROUND
    OVER AGE. p 1m 4w
    SPARK OF LIFE. p 2m 2w
    STRANGERS. p 2m 1w
    MAKING A MAN. p 2m 2w
      Four plays in one volume               _Knopf_

  BRYANT, E. M.
    THE PEACEMAKER. c 2m 3w                  _French_

  BRYANT, Louise
    THE GAME. p 2m 2w                        _Shay_

  BUCK, Gertrude
    MOTHER-LOVE. p 1m 3w                     _Drama_, _Feb._, 1919

  BUNNER, H. C.
    COURTSHIP WITH VARIATIONS. c 1m 1w       _Werner_

  BUNNER, H. C., and MAGNUS, J.
    A BAD CASE. c 1m 3w                      _Baker_

  BUSHIDO. _See_ IZUMO (TAKEDA)

  BUTLER, Ellis Parker
    THE REVOLT. p 8w                         _French_

  BYNNER, Witter
    THE LITTLE KING. p 3m 1w 1j              _Kennerley_
    TIGER. d 2m 3w                           _Kennerley_


  DECAULAVET, G. A.
    CHOOSING A CAREER. c                     _French_

  CALDERON, George
    THE LITTLE STONE HOUSE. p                _Sidgwick_

  CAMERON, Margaret. COMEDIES IN MINIATURE
    MISS DOULTON'S ORCHIDS. c 3m 3w
    THE BURGLAR. c 5w
    THE KLEPTOMANIAC. c 7w
    THE PIPE OF PEACE. c 1m 2w
    A CHRISTMAS CHIME. c 2m 2w
    COMMITTEE ON MATRIMONY. c 1m 1w
    HER NEIGHBOR'S CREED and FOUR MONOLOGUES. c 1m 1w
      Seven plays in one vol.                _Doubleday_
    PIPER'S PAY. c 7w      French
    THE TEETH OF THE GIFT HORSE. c 2m 3w     _French_
    THE WHITE ELEPHANT. c 2m 3w              _French_
    Published separately                     _French_

  CAMPBELL, M. D.
    A CHINESE DUMMY. c 6w                    _Baker_

  CANNAN, Gilbert. FOUR PLAYS
    JAMES AND JOHN. p 3m 1w
    MILES DIXON. Two acts, p 3m 2w
    MARY'S WEDDING. p 2m 3w
    SHORT WAY WITH AUTHORS. p 7m 1w
      Four plays in one volume               _Phillips_
    EVERYBODY'S HUSBAND. p 1m 5w             _Huebsch_

  CAPUS, Alfred
    MY TAILOR. c 1m 2w                       _Smart Set_, _Feb._, 1918

  CARMAN, Bliss, and KING, Mary. EARTH DEITIES, etc.
    THE DANCE DIURNAL. m 2m 3w i
    EARTH DEITIES. m 1m 10w i
    CHILDREN OF THE WAR. m 1m 1w 24j
    PAS DE TROIS. m 3m 1w
      Four masques in one vol.               _Kennerley_

  CARTER, Josephine Howell
    HILARION. c 2m 2w                        _Poet Lore_, _Summer_, 1915

  CARTHEW, L.
    THE AMERICAN IDEA. p 3m 2w               _Baker_

  CARTON, R. C.
    THE NINTH WALTZ. c 1m 1w                 _French_

  CHAMBERS, C. Haddon
    OPEN GATE. d 2m 2w                       _French_

  CHATTERJI, Tapanmohan
    THE LIGHT-BEARER. d 4m                   _Drama_, _Aug._, 1918

  CHURCH, Virginia
    PIERROT BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON. f 2m 3w      _Drama_, _Feb._, 1919

  CLEMENTS, Colin C., and SAUNDERS, John M.
    LOVE IN A FRENCH KITCHEN, a Mediæval Farce. 1m 2w      _Poet Lore_

  CLARK, Barrett H. FOUR PLAYS FOR THE FREE THEATRE
    DECUREL, F. THE FOSSILS. Four acts p 6m 4w
    JULIAN, J. THE SERENADE. Three acts. p 7m 6w
    PORTO-RICHE, G. FRANCOISE'S LUCK. c 3m 2w
    ANCEY, G. THE DUPE. c 1m 2w
      Four plays in one volume               _Stewart_

  COLQUHON, Donald. _See_ REPERTORY PLAYS
    CONFEDERATES. d 4m 1w                    _French_

  CONWAY, Ed. Harold
    THE WINDY SHOT. p 5m                     _Smart Set_, _April_, 1915

  CONRAD, Joseph
    ONE DAY MORE. d 4m 1w                    _Smart Set_, _Feb._, 1914

  CONVERSE, Florence
    THE BLESSED BIRTHDAY. A Christmas Miracle Play.
        19 Characters                        _Dutton_

  COOLIDGE, H. D.
    DEAD RECKONING. p 2m 1w                  _Baker_

  COPPEE, François
    THE VIOLIN MAKER OF CREMONA. c 3m 1w supers             _Dramatic_
    PATER NOSTER. p 3m 3w                    _French_

  COURTLELINE, Georges
    THE PITILESS POLICEMAN. c 3m             _Poet Lore_
    BLANK CARTRIDGE. p 1m 1w            _International_, _July_, 1914
    PEACE AT HOME. c 1m 1w              _International_, _Dec._, 1913
    PEACE AT HOME. c 1m 1w                   _Poet Lore_

  COURTSHIP OF MILES STANDISH. _See_ PRESBERY, E.

  COWAN, Sada
    THE STATE FORBIDS. d 1m 2w 2j            _Kennerley_
    IN THE MORGUE.                           _Forum_, _April_, 1916
    SINTRAM OF SKAGERRAK. p 1m 1w
      In Mayorga's "Representative One-Act Plays"      _Little_

  CRAIG, Marion Wentworth
    WAR BRIDES. d 3m 4w                      _Century_

  CRANDALL, Irene Jean
    BEYOND THE GATE. Two acts. p 7m 2w       _French_

  CRANE, Mabel H.
    THE GIRLS. p 9w                          _French_

  CROTHERS, Rachel
    THE RECTOR. p 1m 6w                      _French_


  DANE, Essex
    FLEURETTE & CO. p 2w                     _French_
    WRONG NUMBERS. c 3w                      _French_

  DANGERFIELD, Trelawney
    OLD STUFF. p 1m 2w                       _Smart Set_, _June_, 1917

  DARGAN, Olive Tilford. LORDS AND LOVERS
    LORDS AND LOVERS. p 18m 4w               _Scribner_
    WOODS OF IDA. m                          _Century_, _August_, 1907

  DAVIS, Richard Harding
    MISS CIVILIZATION. c 4m 1w               _French_
    PEACE MANOEUVERS. p 2m 1w                _French_
    THE ZONE POLICE. p 4m                    _French_
    ORATOR OF ZAPATA CITY. p 8m 1w           _Dramatic_

  DAVIES, Mary Carolyn
    SLAVE WITH TWO FACES. a 3m 4w            _Arens_

  DAVIS, Robert H.
    ROOM WITHOUT A NUMBER. c 3m 1w           _Smart Set_, _April_, 1917

  DAVIS, Robert H., and SHEEHAN, P. P.
    EFFICIENCY. d 3m                         _Doran_

  DELL, Floyd
    A LONG TIME AGO. f                       _Forum_, 1917
    KING ARTHUR'S SOCKS. c 1m 3w             _Shay_
    THE ANGEL INTRUDES. c 3m 1w              _Arens_

  DELAND, Margaret
    Dramatized by M. B. Vosburgh from "Old Chester Tales"
    MISS MARIA. c 2m 3w                      _French_

  DEMUTH, Charles
    THE AZURE ADDER. s 3m 4w                 _Shay_

  DENISON, Emily H.
    THE LITTLE MOTHER OF THE SLUMS
      Seven one-act plays                    _Badger_

  DENTON, Clara J.
    TO MEET MR. THOMPSON. c 8w               _Baker_

  DEPUE, Elva
    HATTIE. p 2m 3w                          _Shay_
    In "Morningside Plays"

  DICKENS, Charles
    BROWNE, H. B. Short Plays from Dickens. Contains 20 dramatized
        sketches from the work of Charles Dickens           _Scribner_
    BARDELL VS. PICKWICK. c 6m 2w            _Baker_
    A CHRISTMAS CAROL. p 6m 3w               _Baker_

  DICKINSON, C. H., and GRIFFITHS, Arthur
    THE RIFT WITHIN THE LUTE. p 4m 1w        _French_

  DIX, Beulah Marie
    THE GLORIOUS GAME. d 6w                  _A.S.P.L._
    THE ENEMY. d 5m                          _A.S.P.L._
    CLEMENCY. d 3m 1w                        _A.S.P.L._
    LEGEND OF ST. NICHOLAS. d                _Poet Lore_
    ALLISON'S LAD AND OTHER PLAYS
      ALLISON'S LAD. d 6m
      THE HUNDREDTH TRICK. d 4m
      THE WEAKEST LINK. d 4m
      THE SNARE AND THE FOWLER. d 3m
      THE CAPTAIN OF THE GATE. d 6m
      THE DARK OF THE DAWN. d 4m
        Six plays in one volume              _Holt_

  DONNAY, Maurice
    THE GIMLET. c 1m 1w                      _Stratford_, _Dec._, 1918

  DORAN, Marie
    THE GIRLS OVER HERE. p 8w                _French_

  DOREY, J. Milnor
    UNDER CONVICTION. d 2m 2w                _Drama_, _Feb._, 1919

  DOWSON, Ernest
    PIERROT OF THE MINUTE. f 1m 1w           _Baker_

  DOWN, Oliphant
    THE MAKER OF DREAMS. f 2m 1w             _Phillips_
    THE QUOD WRANGLE. c 5m 1w                _French_

  DOYLE, A. C.
    WATERLOO. p 3m 1w                        _French_
    A DUET. c 3m 1w                          _French_

  DRACHMAN, Holgar
    "RENAISSANCE." d 6m 2w                   _Poet Lore_

  DRAKE, Frank C.
    THE ROSEBERRY SHRUB. p 1m 3w             _French_

  DREISER, Theodore
    PLAYS OF THE NATURAL AND SUPERNATURAL
      THE GIRL IN THE COFFIN. p 4m 3w
      THE BLUE SPHERE. f 4m 2w 2j
      LAUGHING GAS. f 6m 2w
      IN THE DARK. f 11m 4w
      THE SPRING RECITAL. f 9m 9w
      LIGHT IN THE WINDOW. f 9m 7w
      OLD RAGPICKER. f 4m 1w
        Seven plays in one volume            _Lane_

  DREW, Sylvan
    THE NEW PYGMALION AND GALATEA. c 3m 6w   _French_

  DREYFUS, A.
    THE SILENT SYSTEM. c 1m 1w               _Baker_

  DRISCOLL, Louise
    THE POOR HOUSE. p 2m 2w                  _Drama_, _Aug._, 1917
    THE CHILD OF GOD. p 2m 3w                _Seven Arts_, _Nov._, 1916

  DUNSANY, Lord. FIVE PLAYS
    THE GODS OF THE MOUNTAIN. p 10i
    THE GOLDEN DOOM. p 11m 1w
    THE GLITTERING GATE. c 2m
    KING ARGIMENES. p 10m 4w
    THE LOST SILK HAT. c 5m
      Five plays in one volume               _Little_
    PLAYS OF GODS AND MEN
      A NIGHT AT AN INN. p 8m
      THE QUEEN'S ENEMIES. p 9m 2w
      THE TENTS OF THE ARABS. p 6m
      THE LAUGHTER OF THE GODS. p 9m 4w Three acts
        Four plays in one volume             _Luce_
    THE MURDERESS. In prep.
    FAME AND THE POET. c 2m 1w               _Atlantic_, _Aug._, 1919

  DYMOW, Ossip
    NJU. t 6m 3w 2j                          _Knopf_


  EARLE, Dorothy Kirchner
    YOU'RE SUCH A RESPECTABLE PERSON,
        MISS MORRISON. c 3m 2w               _Smart Set_, _Aug._, 1915

  EBNER-ESCHENBACH, Marie von
    A MAN OF THE WORLD. p 3m                 _Poet Lore_

  ECHEGARAY, Jose
    THE STREET SINGER. p 2m 2w               _Drama_, _Feb._, 1917
    MADMAN OR SAINT. p 7m 4w                 _Poet Lore_

  EDGERTON, Lady Alex.
    MASQUE OF THE TWO STRANGERS              _Gowans_

  ELDRIDGE, Paul
    THE JEST. p 4m 2w                        _Stratford_, _July_, 1918

  ELKINS, Felton B. THREE TREMENDOUS TRIFLES
    THE BELGIAN BABY. c 2m 2w
    THE QUICK AND THE DEAD. c 5m 1w
    FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING. c 3m 2w
      Three plays in one volume              _Duffield_

  ELLIS, Mrs. Havelock. LOVE IN DANGER
    THE SUBJECTION OF KEZIA. p 2m 1w
    THE PIXY. p 3m
    THE MOTHERS. p 1m 2w
      Three plays in one vol.                _Houghton_

  ENANDER, Hilma L.
    IN THE LIGHT OF THE STONE. p 3m 1w
    THE MAN WHO DID NOT UNDERSTAND. p 1m 2w
    ON THE TRAIL. p 4m 1w
      Three plays in one volume              _Badger_

  ERVINE, St. John. Four Irish Plays
    THE MAGNANIMOUS LOVER
    THE CRITICS
    MIXED MARRIAGE
    THE ORANGE MAN
      Four plays in one vol.                 _Macmillan_

  ESKIL, Ragna
    IN THE TRENCHES OVER THERE. c 10m 6w     _Dramatic_

  ESMOND, H. V.
    HER VOTE. c 1m 2w                        _French_

  ESTERBROOK, Anne L.
    THE CHRISTENING ROBE. p 1m 3w            _Baker_

  EURIPIDES
    ALKESTIS. Nine characters                _Baker_
    ELECTRA. Nine characters
    THE FROGS. Twelve characters
    IPHIGENIA IN TAURUS. Seven characters
      Translated by Gilbert Murray Allen

  EVANS, Florence Wilkinson. THE RIDE HOME
    THE MARRIAGE OF GUINETH. p 7m 3w         _Houghton_

  EVREINOV, Nicholas
    THEATRE OF THE SOUL. f 5m 4w             _Henderson_
    A MERRY DEATH. c 5m
    THE BEAUTIFUL DESPOT. c 5m 3w 1j
      Two plays; in Bechofer: Five Russian Plays


  FAYDON, Nita
    THE GREAT LOOK. c 2m 2w                  _French_

  FENN, Frederick
    THE NELSON TOUCH. c 2m 2w                _French_
    CONVICT ON THE HEARTH. c 6m 5w           _French_

  FERGUSON, J. A.
    CAMPBELL OF KILMHOR. p 4m 2w             _Phillips_

  FERRIER, Paul
    THE CODICIL. c 3m 1w                     _Poet Lore_

  FERRIS, E., and STUART, A.
    NICOLETE. p 2m 2w                        _French_

  FEUILLET, Octave
    THE FAIRY. c 3m 1w                       _French_
    THE VILLAGE. c 2m 2w                     _French_

  FIELD, Rachel L.
    RISE UP, JENNIE SMITH.

  FILLMORE, J. E.
    "WAR." p 2m 1w                           _Poet Lore_

  FITZMAURICE, George
    MAGIC GLASSES. p 3m 3w
    THE PIEDISH. p 4m 2w 3j
    THE DANDY DOLLS. p 4m 2w 3j
      With two long plays in one volume      _Little_

  FLANNER, Hildegarde
    MANSIONS. p 1m 2w                        _Stewart_

  FLANNER, Mary H.
    THE CHRISTMAS BURGLAR. p 3m 1w           _French_

  FLEXNER, Hortense
    VOICES. p 2w                             _Seven Arts_, _Dec._, 1916

  FLORIAN, J. P.
    THE TWINS OF BERGAMO. p 2m 2w            _Drama_, _Aug._, 1918

  FLYING STAG PLAYS. Arens, 1917-19
    CRONYN, G. THE SANDBAR QUEEN. d 6m 1w
    OPPENHEIM, J. NIGHT. d 4m 1w
    DELL, F. THE ANGEL INTRUDES. c 3m 1w
    HELBURN, T. ENTER THE HERO. c 1m 3w
    MOELLER, P. TWO BLIND BEGGARS AND ONE LESS BLIND. p 3m 1w
    O'BRIEN, S. BLIND. c 3m
    DAVIES, M. C. THE SLAVE WITH TWO FACES. a 3m 4w
    KEMP, H. THE PRODIGAL SON. c 3m 2w
    ROSTETTER, ALICE. THE WIDOW'S VEIL.

  FRANCE, Anatole
    THE MAN WHO MARRIED A DUMB WIFE. Two acts. c 14m 4w     _Lane_
    CRAINQUEBILLE. Three scenes. p 12m 6w                   _French_

  FRANK, Florence Kiper
    JAEL.                                    _Chicago_
    CINDERELLINE. p 1m 4w                    _Dramatic_
    THE GARDEN. p 3m 3w                      _Drama_, _Nov._, 1918

  FREDERICK, John T.
    THE HUNTER. p 2m 1w                      _Stratford_, _Sept._, 1917

  FREYBE, C. E.
    IN GARRISON. p 5m                        _Poet Lore_

  FROOME, John Redhead
    LISTENING. p 3w                                         _Poet Lore_
    MRS. MAINWARING'S MANAGEMENT. Two acts. c               _French_
    BILLY AND THE DIRECTING FATES. Two acts. p 3m           _Dramatic_

  FRY, Horace B.
    LITTLE ITALY. d 2m 1w 1j                 _Dramatic_

  FULDA, Ludwig
    BY OURSELVES. c 3m 2w                    _Badger_

  FURNISS, Grace L.
    A DAKOTA WIDOW. c 1m 2w                  _French_
    PERHAPS. c 2m 1w                         _French_


  GALBRAITH, Esther
    THE BRINK OF SILENCE. p 4m
    In Mayorga's "Representative One-Act Plays"   _Little_

  GALLON, Tom, and LION, L. M.
    MAN WHO STOLE THE CASTLE. p 4m 2w             _French_

  GALSWORTHY, John. THE LITTLE MAN, etc.
    THE LITTLE MAN. s 5m 2w
    HALLMARKED. s 3m 3w
      Two plays in one volume                     _Scribner_
    THE LITTLE DREAM. An allegory in six scenes   _Scribner_

  GARLAND, Robert
    AT NIGHT ALL CATS ARE GRAY. p 3m 1w      _Smart Set_, _March_, 1916
    THE DOUBLE MIRACLE. p 4m 1w              _Forum_, _April_, 1915

  GERSTENBERG, Alice
    OVERTONES. _See_ "Washington Square Plays."
    BYOND. p 1w
      In Mayorga's "Representative One-Act Plays" _Little_

  GIACOSA, Giuseppe. THE STRONGER, etc.
    SACRED GROUND. c 3m 1w                   _Little_
    THE WAGER. c 4m 1w                       _French_
    THE RIGHTS OF THE SOUL. p 2m 2w          _Stratford_, _Feb._, 1918

  GIBSON, Preston
    S.O.S. p 8m 2w                           _French_
    DERELICTS. p 2w                          _French_
    SUICIDES. p 2m                           _French_
    THE SECRET WAY. p 3m                     _French_
    THE VACUUM. p 2m 1w                      _French_
    CUPID'S TRICKS. c 3m 2w                  _French_

  GIBSON, Wilfred Wilson
    WOMENKIND. d 2m 3w                       _Macmillan_
      The following volumes of Mr. Gibson's are replete with short,
      intensely dramatic sketches of English labor folk.
    DAILY BREAD.                             _Macmillan_
    BORDERLANDS AND THOROUGHFARES.           _Macmillan_
    FIRES.                                   _Macmillan_

  GILBERT, W. S.
    SWEETHEARTS. Two acts. c 2m 2w           _French_
    ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN. c 5m 3w    _French_
    COMEDY AND TRAGEDY. d 14m 2w             _French_

  GLASPELL, Susan
    TRIFLES. p 3m 2w
    THE PEOPLE. p 10m 2w
    CLOSE THE BOOK. c 3m 5w
    THE OUTSIDE. p 3m 2w
    WOMAN'S HONOR. c 3m 6w
    BERNICE (3 Acts). p 2m 3w
    SUPPRESSED DESIRES. c 1m 2w
    TICKLESS TIME. c 2m 4w
      In One Vol.                            _Small_

  GLICK, Carl
    OUTCLASSED. c 4m 2w                      _Smart Set_, _Sept._, 1918

  GLICK, C., and HIGHT, M.
    THE POLICE MATRON. d 3m 2w               _Baker_

  GOLDBERG, Isaac
    THE BETTER SON. p 2m 1w                  _Stratford_, _Oct._, 1918

  GOODMAN, Kenneth Sawyer
    BACK OF THE YARDS. d 3m 2w               _Shay_
    DUST OF THE ROAD. d 4m 4w                _Shay_
    EPHRAIM AND THE WINGED BEAR. c 4m 3w     _Shay_
    GAME OF CHESS. d 4m                      _Shay_
    BARBARA. p 2m 1w                         _Shay_
    DANCING DOLLS. p 4m 7w                   _Shay_
    A MAN CAN ONLY DO HIS BEST. c 6m 2w      _Shay_

  GOODMAN, K. S.
    THE GREEN SCARF. c 1m 1w                 _Shay_

  GOODMAN, K. S., and HECHT, Ben
    THE HERO OF SANTA MARIA. c 4m 1w         _Shay_
    THE WONDER HAT. f 3m 2w                  _Shay_

  GOODMAN, K. S., and STEVENS, T. W.
    HOLBEIN IN BLACKFRIARS. c 6m 2w          _Shay_
    RYLAND. c 5m 2w                          _Shay_
    REINALD AND THE RED WOLF. m              _Shay_
    CAESAR'S GODS. m                         _Shay_
    THE DAIMIO'S HEAD. m                     _Shay_
    THE MASQUE OF QUETZAL'S BOWL. m          _Shay_
    MASQUE OF MONTEZUMA. m                   _Shay_

  GORDON, Leon. Three Plays                  _Four Seas_

  GOULD, Felix. THE MARSH MAIDEN, etc.
    THE MARSH MAIDEN. p 2m 2w supers
    THE STRANGER. p 3m 2w
    IN THE MARSHES. p 1w
      Three plays in one vol.                _Four Seas_

  DE GOURMONT, Remy
    THEODAT. p 7m 1w
    THE OLD KING. p 3m 3w
      Two plays in one number                _Drama_, _May_, 1916

  GRAHAM, Bertha M. SPOILING THE BROTH, etc.
    SPOILING THE BROTH. c 2m 2w
    THE LAND OF THE FREE. p 2m 3w
    OH, THE PRESS. c 1m 1w
    THE ROSE WITH A THORN. c 2m 2w
    TAFFY'S WIFE. p 2m 1w
      Five plays in one volume               _Chapman & Hall_

  GROSSMITH, Weedon
    COMMISSION. c 3m 2w                      _French_

  GRAY, Eunice T.
    WINNING OF FUJI. c 3 scenes 3m 3w        _Dramatic_

  GREENE, Clay M.
    THE DISPENSATION. p 4m
    THE STAR OF BETHLEHEM. p 5m
    THROUGH CHRISTMAS BELLS. p 4m 1w
    AWAKENING OF BARBIZON. c 4m 1w
      Four plays in one volume               _Doran_

  GREGORY, Lady
    SPREADING THE NEWS. c 7m 3w
    HYACINTH HALVEY. c 3m 3w
    RISING OF THE MOON. c 4m
    THE JACKDAW. c 4m 2w
    THE WORKHOUSE WARD. c 2m 1w
    THE TRAVELING MAN. p 1m 2w
    THE _GAOL_ GATE. p 1m 2w
      Seven plays in one volume              _Luce_
    THE IMAGE. Three acts. p 5m 2w           _Maunsel_
    GRANIA. Three acts. p 4m 1w
    KINCORA. Three acts. p 8m 3w
    DERVORGILLA. p 3m 3w
      Three plays in one volume              _Putnam_
    THE CANAVANS. Three acts. p 3m 2w
    THE WHITE COCKADE. Three acts. p 10m 2w
    THE DELIVERERS. p 6m 3w
      Three plays in one volume              _Putnam_
    THE BOGIE MAN. c 2m
    THE FULL MOON. c 2m
    COATS. c 4m 1w
    DAMER'S GOLD. c 4m 1w
    MCDONOUGH'S WIFE. c 1m 2w
      Five plays in one volume               _Putnam_

  GREGORY, Lady, and YEATS, Wm. B.
    THE UNICORN FROM THE STARS.              _Macmillan_

  GUIMERA, Angel
    THE OLD QUEEN. p 7m 7w                   _Poet Lore_

  GYALUI, Wolfgang
    AFTER THE HONEYMOON. c 1m 1w             _French_

  GYP
    THE LITTLE BLUE GUINEA-HEN. c 5m 4w      _Poet Lore_


  HAGEDORN, Herman
    MAKERS OF MADNESS. Five scenes. d 14m supers       _Macmillan_
    HORSE THIEVES. c 4m 2w                   _Harvard_
    HEART OF YOUTH.                          _Macmillan_

  HALE, Louise Closser
    THE OTHER WOMAN. p 2w                    _Smart Set_, _June_, 1911
    PASTE CUT PASTE. p 3w                    _Smart Set_, _Jan._, 1912

  HALMAN, Doris
    WILL 'O THE WISP. p 4w
      In Mayorga's "Representative One-Act Plays"      _Little_

  HALSEY, Forrest
    THE EMPTY LAMP. p 1m 1w 1j               _Smart Set_, _May_, 1911

  HAMILTON, Cicely
    JACK AND JILL AND A FRIEND. Two scenes. c 3m 1w    _French_

  HAMILTON, C., and ST. JOHN, Christopher
    HOW THE VOTE WAS WON. c 2m 8w            _Dramatic_

  HAMILTON, Cosmo. Short plays for small stages
    ST. MARTIN'S SUMMER. c 1m 2w
    SOLDIER'S DAUGHTERS. c 3w
    TOLLER'S WIFE. c 4m 1w
    WHY CUPID CAME TO EARL'S COURT. c 3m 4w
      Four plays in one vol.                 _Skeffington_
    JERRY AND A SUNBEAM. c 1m 1w             _French_
    AUBREY CLOSES THE DOOR. c 3m 1w          _French_

  HANKIN, St. John
    THE CONSTANT LOVER. p 1m 1w
      Vol. III. No. 2                        _Theatre Arts_

  HARE, W. B.
    ISOSCELES. p 2m 1w                       _Baker_

  HARVARD PLAYS. THE 47 WORKSHOP
    FIELD, R. L. THREE PILLS IN A BOTTLE. f 5m 3w
    OSBORNE, H. THE GOOD MEN DO. c 3m 5w
    PILLOT, E. TWO CROOKS AND A LADY. p 3m 3w
    PROSSER, W. FREE SPEECH. c 7m
      Four plays in one vol.                 _Brentano_
    THE HARVARD DRAMATIC CLUB
    HAWKBRIDGE, W. THE FLORIST SHOP. c 3m 2w
      BROCK, H. THE BANK ACCOUNT. p 1m 2w
      SMITH, R. C. THE RESCUE. p 3w
      ANDREWS, K. AMERICA PASSES BY. p 2m 2w
      Four plays in one volume               _Brentano_
    THE HARVARD DRAMATIC CLUB. 2nd Series
      BRAY, L. W. HARBOR OF LOST SHIPS. p 3m 1w
      BATES, E. W. GARAFELIA'S HUSBAND. p 4m 1w
      BISHOP, F. SCALES AND THE SWORD. d 6m 1w
      KINKEAD, C. THE FOUR FLUSHERS. c 4m 1w
      Four plays in one vol.                 _Brentano_

  HASLETT, H. H. DOLORES OF THE SIERRA, etc.
    DOLORES OF THE SIERRA. p 1m 1w
    THE SCOOP. p 2m 1w
    UNDERCURRENTS. p 4m 2w
    A MODERN MENACE. c 3m 1w 1j
    THE INVENTOR. p 2m 1w
    WHEN LOVE IS BLIND. c 1m 1w
      Six plays in one volume                _Elder_

  HASTINGS, Basil McDonald
    TWICE ONE. p 2m 2w                       _Smart Set_, _Jan._, 1913

  HAUPTMANN, Gerhart
    THE ASSUMPTION OF HANNELLE. Two parts. p 7m 3w     _Poet Lore_

  HAWKRIDGE, Winifred
    THE PRICE OF ORCHIDS. c 4m 2w            _Smart Set_, _Oct._, 1915

  HAY, Ian. _See_ BEITH, Ian Hay

  HEAD, Cloyd
    GROTESQUES                               _Poetry_

  HEIDENSTAM, Verner von. Translated by K. M. Knudsen
    THE SOOTHSAYER. In prep.                 _Four Seas_
    THE BIRTH OF GOD. In prep.               _Four Seas_

  HENNIQUE, Leon
    DEATH OF THE DUC D'ENGHIEN. d Three scenes. 22m 2w      _Poet Lore_

  HENRY, R.
    NORAH. p 2m 1w                           _Dramatic_

  HERTZ, H. Translated by T. Martin
    KING RENE'S DAUGHTER. d 6m 2w            _Baker_

  HERVIEU, Paul
    MODESTY. c 1m 2w                         _French_

  HENSLOWE, Leonard
    PERFIDIOUS MARRIAGE.
    A HERO FOR A HUSBAND.
    PEOPLE FROM THE PAST.
      Three plays in one vol.                _Stanley Paul_

  HELLEM, Valcos, and D'ESTOC
    SABOTAGE. d 2m 2w 1j                     _Dramatist_

  HICKS, Seymour
    NEW SUB. c 8m 1w                         _French_

  HILBERT, Jaroslav
    WHOM THE GODS DESTROY. d 12m 1w          _Poet Lore_

  HOFFMAN, Phoebe
    MARTHA'S MOURNING. p 3w                  _Drama_, _Feb._, 1918

  VON HOFMANNSTHAL, Hugo
    DEATH AND THE FOOL. d 4m 3w              _Four Seas_
    MADONNA DIANORA.                         _Four Seas_
    THE DEATH OF TITIAN. In prep.            _Four Seas_

  HOGG, C. W.
    MIRROR OF TIME. c 1m 1w                  _French_

  HOLLEY, Horace. Read aloud plays
    Nine short plays                         _Kennerley_
    ELLEN. p 2w                              _Stratford_, _March_, 1917

  HOLT, Florence Taber
    THEY THE CRUCIFIED. p 7m 2w
    COMRADES. p 7m 2w
      Two plays in one volume                _Houghton_

  HOME, Ian
    A DREAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE. 10j            _French_

  HOPKINS, Arthur
    MOONSHINE. p 2m Vol. III. No. 1          _Theatre Arts_

  HOUGHTON, Stanley. Five one-act plays
    THE DEAR DEPARTED. c 3m 3w
    FANCY FREE. c 2m 2w
    MASTER OF THE HOUSE. p 4m 2w
    PHIPPS. c 2m 1w
    THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT. p 2m 2w
      Five plays in one volume               _French_
    THE DEAR DEPARTED. c 3m 3w               _French_
    FANCY FREE. c 2m 2w                      _French_

  HOUSMAN, Lawrence
    AS GOOD AS GOLD. p 7m                    _French_
    BIRD IN HAND. c                          _French_
    A LIKELY STORY. c                        _French_
    LORD OF THE HARVEST. p 6m 1w             _French_
    NAZARETH. I 13m 3w                       _French_
    THE SNOW MAN. p 4m 3w                    _French_
    RETURN OF ALCESTIS. p 15m 20w            _French_

  HOWARD, Bronson
    OLD LOVE LETTERS. c 1m 1w                _French_

  HOWARD, Homer H.
    THE CHILD IN THE HOUSE. p 2m 2w          _French_

  HOWARD, Keble
    COMPROMISING MARTHA. c 1m 3w             _French_
    DRAMATIST AT HOME. p 1m 1w               _French_
    COME MICHAELMAS. p 2m 4w                 _French_
    MARTHA THE SOOTHSAYER. c 2m 3w           _French_

  HUDSON, Holland
    THE SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE. 10 characters        _Stewart_

  HUTCHINS, Will
    JEANNE D'ARC AT VAUCOULEURS. d 5m 3w     _Poet Lore_

  HYDE, Douglas
    THE TWISTING OF THE ROPE. c 2m 3w        _Poet Lore_


  IGLESIAS, Ignacio
    THE CEMETERY. p 2m 1w                    _Poet Lore_

  INDIAN PLAYS. By Helen P. Kane
    YOT-CHE-KE, THE ERIE. p 5j               _French_
    YAGOWANEA. p 4m 1w                       _French_
    CAPTURE OF OZAH. c 2m 2w                 _French_

  IRVING, Laurence
    PHOENIX. p 2m 2w                         _French_

  IZUMO, Takeda
    THE PINE TREE. d 4m 3w 4j                _Duffield_
      Sometimes called BUSHIDO, MATSUO, etc.


  JACOBS, W. W., and HUBBARD, P. E.
    A LOVE PASSAGE. c 3m 1w                  _French_

  JACOBS, W. W., and ROCK, Charles
    THE GHOST OF JERRY BUNDLER. p 7m         _French_
    GREY PARROT. p 4m 2w                     _French_

  JACOBS, W. W., and MILLS, Horace
    ADMIRAL PETERS. c 2m 1w                  _French_

  JACOBS, W. W., and PARKER, L. N.
    THE MONKEY'S PAW. d 4m 1w                _French_

  JACOBS, W. W., and SERGENT, H.
    THE CHANGELING. c 2m 1w                  _French_
    BOATSWAIN'S MATE. p 2m 1w                _French_
    IN THE LIBRARY. c                        _French_

  JAGENDORF, Moritz
    A BLUE MORNING GLORY. p 2m 1w            _International_, _Mar._,
                                               1914

  JAKOBI, Paula
    THE CHINESE LILY. p 8w                   _Forum_, _Nov._, 1915

  JAMACOIS, Eduardo. In "Contemporary Spanish Dramatists."
    THE PASSING OF THE MAGI. p 7m 5w         _Badger_

  JAPANESE PLAYS
    _See_ STOPES, MARIE C.
    IZUMO, TAKEDA
    POUND, EZRA, and FENOLLOSA, ERNEST
    NOGUCHI, YONE, TEN NOH DRAMAS

  JENKS, Tudor
    DINNER AT SEVEN SHARP. c 5m 3w           _Baker_

  JENNINGS, E. M.
    MRS. OAKLEY'S TELEPHONE. c 4w            _French_
    DINNER AT THE CLUB. c 9w                 _French_
    PRINZESSEN VON BARNHOF. c 8w             _French_
    TOM'S FIANCEE. Two acts. c 5w            _French_

  JENNINGS, Gertrude
    THE REST CURE. c 1m 4w
    BETWEEN THE SOUP AND THE SAVOURY. c 3w
    THE PROS AND CONS. c 1m 3w
    ACID DROPS. p 1m 6w
      Four plays in one volume               _Sidgwick_
    BETWEEN THE SOUP AND THE SAVOURY. c 3w   _French_

  JEROME, Jerome K.
    SUNSET. c 3m 4w                          _Dramatic_
    BARBARA. d 2m 2w                         _French_
    FENNEL. d 3m 1w                          _French_

  JEX, John. Passion playlets
    VIOLET SOULS. s 3m 2w
    THE NEST. p 2m 3w
    MR. WILLOUGHBY CALLS. p 3m 1w
    THE UNNECESSARY ATOM. p 3m 1w
      Four plays in one volume               _Cornhill_

  JOHNS, Orrick
    SHADOW. p 3w                             _Others_

  JOHNSON, Martyn
    MR. AND MRS. P. ROE. c 1m 3w             _Chicago_

  JONES, Henry Arthur. THE THEATRE OF IDEAS, etc.
    THE GOAL. 4m 2w
    HERR TONGUE. 3m 2w
    GRACE MARY. 6m 2w
      Three plays in one volume              _Doran_
    CLERICAL ERROR. c 3m 1w                  _French_
    SWEET WILL. p 1m 4w                      _French_
    DEACON. Two acts. c 2m 2w                _French_
    HARMONY. d 3m 1w                         _French_
    BED OF ROSES. c 4m 2w                    _French_
    ELOPEMENT. Two acts. c 4m 3w             _French_
    HEARTS OF OAK. Two acts. c 5m 2w         _French_


  KALLEN, Horace M.
    THE BOOK OF JOB. d                       _Moffatt Yard_

  KAUFMAN, S. Jay
    KISS ES. c 2m 4w                         _Smart Set_, _Nov._, 1915

  KEMP, Harry
    THE PRODIGAL SON. c 3m 2w                _Arens_

  KEMPER, S.
    MOTH BALLS. p 3w                         _Baker_

  KENNEDY, Charles Rann
    THE TERRIBLE MEEK. p                     _Harper_
    THE NECESSARY EVIL. p                    _Harper_

  KEYES, N. W.
    RED-CAP. Two acts. p 5m 10w              _Baker_

  KILMER, Joyce
    SOME MISCHIEF STILL. c 4m 1w             _Smart Set_, _Aug._, 1914

  KING, Pendleton
    COACAINE. p 1m 1w                        _Shay_

  KINGSBURY, Sara
    THE CHRISTMAS GUEST. p 1m 3w 1j          _Drama_, _Nov._, 1918

  KINGSLEY, Ellis
    THE OTHER WOMAN. d 2w                    _Baker_

  KNOBLAUCH, Edward
    A WAR COMMITTEE. p
    LITTLE SILVER RING. p
      Two plays in one volume                _French_

  KNOWLTON, A. R.
    WHY, JESSICA! c 1m 9w                    _Baker_

  KNOX, F. C.
    THE MATRIMONIAL FOG. d 3m 1w             _Baker_

  KRAFT, Irma
    THE POWER OF PURIN and other plays       _Jewish Publication Soc._,
                                                  1915

  KREYMBORG, Alfred
    SIX PLAYS FOR POEM-MIMES                 _Others_


  LABICHE
    GRAMMAR. c 4m 1w                         _French_
    THE TWO COWARDS. c 3m 2w                 _French_

  LAIDLAW, A. H.
    CAPTAIN WALRUS. p 1m 2w                  _French_

  LANGER, Lawrence
    ANOTHER WAY OUT. c 2m 2w                 _Shay_
    THE BROKEN IMAGE. d 7m                   _Arens_
    PATENT APPLIED FOR. c 3m 3w              _Arens_
    WEDDED. p                                _Little Review_, _No._ 8

  LAVEDAN, Henri. Five little plays
    ALONG THE QUAYS. p 2m
    FOR EVER AND EVER. p 1m 1w
    WHERE SHALL WE GO? p 1m 6w
    THE AFTERNOON WALK. p 1m 4j
    NOT AT HOME. p 2m 3w
      Five plays in one number               _Poet Lore_
    TWO HUSBANDS. p 2m                       _Poet Lore_
    SUNDAY ON SUNDAY GOES BY. p 3m           _Poet Lore_

  LAWS, Anna C.
    A TWICE TOLD TALE. p 1m 3w               _Drama_, _Aug._, 1918

  LEACOCK, Stephen, and HASTINGS, Basil
    "Q." Farce                               _French_

  LEE, Charles
    MR. SAMPSON. c 1m 2w                     _Dent_

  LEE, M. E.
    THE BLACK DEATH, or Ta un. A Persian
        Tragedy. 2m 2w                       _Poet Lore_

  LEFUSE, M.
    AT THE "GOLDEN GOOSE." d 2m 2w           _French_

  LEHMAN, Adolph
    THE TONGMAN. p 5m 1w                _Little Theatre_, _July_, 1917

  LELAND, Robert de Camp
    PURPLE YOUTH. p 2m 1w                    _Four Seas_
    BARBARIANS. p 6m                         _Poetry-Drama_

  LENNOX, Cosmo
    THE IMPERTINENCE OF THE CREATURE. c 1m 1w     _French_

  LENT, Evangeline M.
    LOVE IN IDLENESS. c 1m 3w                _French_

  LESAGE
    CRISPIN, HIS MASTER'S RIVAL. c 4m 3w     _French_

  LESLIE, Noel. Three plays
    FOR KING AND COUNTRY. In prep.
    WASTE.
    THE WAR FLY.
      Three plays in one vol.                _Four Seas_

  LEVICK, Milnes
    WINGS IN THE MESH. p 3w                  _Smart Set_, _July_, 1919

  LEVINGER, E. E.
    THE BURDEN. p 3m 1w                      _Baker_

  LEWISOHN, Ludwig
    THE LIE. p 2m 2w                         _Smart Set_, _Dec._, 1913

  LINCOLN, Florence
    A PIECE OF IVORY. p 3m 2w                _Harvard_, _April_, 1911

  LION, Leon M.
    THE TOUCH OF A CHILD. p                  _French_

  LION, L. M., and HALL, W. S.
    THE MOBSWOMAN. d 2m 2w                   _French_

  LITTLE THEATRE CLASSICS. Edited by SAMUEL A. ELIOT, JR.
    EURIPIDES: POLYXENA
    A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE PLAY
    MARLOWE: DOCTOR FAUSTUS
    BEAUMONT and FLETCHER: RICARDO and VIOLA
    SHERIDAN: THE SCHEMING LIEUTENANT
      Five plays in one volume               _Little_

  LITTLE THEATRE CLASSICS. Second Series
    ABRAHAM AND ISAAC
    MIDDLETON: THE LOATHED LOVER
    MOLIERE: SGANARELLE
    PICHEL, I. PIERRE PATHELIN
      Four plays in one volume               _Little_

  LONDON, Jack. TURTLES OF TASMAN
    THE FIRST POET. p                        _Macmillan_

  LOVE IN A FRENCH KITCHEN.
    A MEDIÆVAL FARCE. c 1m 2w                _Poet Lore_

  LUTHER, Lester
    LAW. 10 voices                           _Forum_, _June_, 1915


  M. J. W.
    A BROWN PAPER PARCEL. c 2w               _French_

  MACINTIRE, E., and CLEMENTS, C. C.
    THE IVORY TOWER. p 3m 1w                 _Poet Lore_

  MACDONALD, Zellah
    MARKHEIM. d 2m 1w
      In "Morningside Plays"                 _Shay_

  MACKAYE, Constance D'Arcy
    THE FOREST PRINCES AND OTHER MASQUES     _Holt_
    THE BEAU OF BATH AND OTHER ONE-ACT PLAYS _Holt_
    PLAYS OF THE PIONEERS                    _Harper_
    THE SILVER THREAD AND OTHER FOLK PLAYS   _Holt_

  MACKAYE, Percy. YANKEE FANTASIES
    CHUCK. 1m 3j
    GETTYSBURG. 1m 1j
    THE ANTICK. 2m 3w
    THE CAT BOAT. 1m 2w 1j
    SAM AVERAGE. 4m
      Five plays in one volume               _Duffield_

  McKINNEL, Norman
    THE BISHOP'S CANDLESTICKS. p 3m 2w       _French_

  MACMILLAN, Mary. Short plays
    THE SHADOWED STAR. p 3m 5w
    THE RING. c 7m 3w
    THE ROSE. p 1m 2w
    LUCK? p 6m 7w
    ENTR'ACTE. p 1m 2w
    A WOMAN'S A WOMAN FOR A' THAT. 2m 3w
    FAN AND TWO CANDLESTICKS. p 2m 1w
    A MODERN MASQUE. p 3m 1w
    THE FUTURISTS. p 8w
    THE GATE OF WISHES. p 1m 1w 1j
      Ten plays in one volume                _Stewart_
        MORE SHORT PLAYS.
    HIS SECOND GIRL. p 3m 3w
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    HONEY. c 2m 3w 1j
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    IN MENDELESIA, I. p 5w
    IN MENDELESIA, II. p 5w
    THE DRYAD. p 1m 2w
      Eight plays in one volume              _Stewart_
    THE GATE OF WISHES. p 1m 1w 1j           _Poet Lore_

  MAETERLINCK, Maurice
    THE INTRUDER. p 3m 5w                    _Phillips_
    INTERIOR. p 4m 5w 1j supers              _Phillips_
    DEATH OF TINTAGILES. d 1j 6w             _Phillips_
    HAPPINESS.                               _Phillips_
    SEVEN PRINCESSES. p 3m 8w                _Phillips_
    ALLADINE AND PALOMIDES. 2m 7w            _Phillips_
    THE MIRACLE OF ST. ANTHONY
    A MIRACLE OF ST. ANTHONY AND OTHER PLAYS
    A MIRACLE OF ST. ANTHONY. 15 characters
    PELLEAS AND MELISANDE. Five acts
    DEATH OF TINTAGILES. 7 Characters
    ALLADINE AND PALOMIDES. Five acts
    INTERIOR. 10 Characters
    THE INTRUDER. 7 Characters
      Six plays in one volume                _Boni & Liveright_

  MALLESON, Miles
    BLACK 'ELL. d 3m 4w                      _Shay_
    PADDY POOLS. f 19j                       _Henderson_
    LITTLE WHITE THOUGHT. f 9w               _Henderson_
    "D" COMPANY. p 6m                        _Henderson_
    YOUTH. Three acts. p 9m 2w               _Henderson_

  MANNERS, J. Hartley. HAPPINESS AND OTHER PLAYS
    HAPPINESS. p 2m 2w
    JUST AS WEL.L c 1m 3w
    DAY OF DUPES. c 5m 1w
      Three plays in one volume              _Dodd_
    QUEEN'S MESSENGER. d 1m 1w               _French_
    THE WOMAN INTERVENES. p 3m 1w            _French_
    JUST AS WELL. c 1m 1w                    _French_
    AS ONCE IN MAY. c 3m 2w                  _French_
    MINISTERS OF GRACE. p 3m 2w              _Smart Set_, _Sept._, 1914

  MAPES, Victor
    A FLOWER OF THE YEDDO. c 1m 3w           _French_

  MARBLE, T. L.
    GIUSEPPINA. p 3m 2w                      _Dramatic_

  MARIVAUX
    THE LEGACY. c 4m 2w                      _French_

  MARKS, Jeanette. Three Welsh Plays
    THE MERRY CUCKOO. p 3m 2w
    WELSH HONEYMOON. p 3m 2w
    THE DEACON'S HAT. c 3m 3w
      Three plays in one volume              _Little_
    THE HAPPY THOUGHT. p 4m 5w          _International_, _July_, 1912

  MARTIN, John Joseph
    THE WIFE OF USHER'S WELL. d 3m 3w        _Poet Lore_

  MASEFIELD, John
    THE LOCKED CHEST. p 3m 1w
    SWEEPS OF NINETY-EIGHT. p 5m 1w
      Two plays in one volume                _Macmillan_
    THE CAMPDEN WONDER. p 4m 2w
    MRS. HARRISON. p 3m 1w
      In "The Tragedy of Nan," etc.          _Macmillan_
    PHILIP THE KING. p 7m 1w                 _Macmillan_
    GOOD FRIDAY. p                           _Macmillan_

  MASSEY, Edward
    PLOTS AND PLAYWRIGHTS. c Nine scenes. 11m 6w  _Little_

  MATHER, C. C.
    DISPATCHES FOR WASHINGTON. p 3m 5w       _Baker_
    DOUBLE-CROSSED. c 3m 3w                  _Baker_

  MATSUO. _See_ IZUMO, Takeda

  MATTHEWS, Brander
    THE DECISION OF THE COURT. c 2m 2w       _Harpers_

  MAUREY, Max
    ROSALIE. c 1m 2w                         _French_

  McCONNILL, G. K.
    THE BONE OF CONTENTION. d 3m 8w          _Baker_

  McCOURT, Edna W.
    JILL'S WAY. p 3m 2w                      _Seven Arts_, _Feb._, 1917
    THE TRUTH. p 2m 4w                       _Seven Arts_, _Mar._, 1917

  McEVOY, Charles
    HIS HELPMATE
    DAVID BALLARD
    GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD
    LUCIFER
    WHEN THE DEVIL WAS ILL                   _Bullen_

  MCFADDEN, Elizabeth A.
    WHY THE CHIMES RANG. p 1m 1w 2j          _French_

  MEGRUE, Roi Cooper
    DOUBLE CROSS. p 3m                       _Smart Set_, _Aug._, 1911

  MEILHAC and HALEVY
    PANURGE'S SHEEP. c 1m 2w                 _French_
    INDIAN SUMMER. c 2m 2w                   _French_

  MICHELSON, Miriam
    BYGONES. p 2m 1w                         _Smart Set_, _March_, 1917

  MIDDLETON, George. EMBERS, etc.
    EMBERS. d 2m 1w
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    THE GARGOYLE. p 2m
    IN HIS HOUSE. p 2m 1w
    THE MAN MASTERFUL. d 2w
    MADONNA. d 3m 1w
      Six plays in one volume                _Holt_
    CRIMINALS. d 2m 2w                       _Huebsch_
    TRADITION, etc.
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        Six plays in one volume              _Holt_
    POSSESSION, etc.
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        Six plays in one volume              _Holt_
    BACK OF THE BALLOT. c 4m 1w              _French_
      Are published separately by Samuel French.
    AMONG THE LIONS. s 5m 3w                 _Smart Set_, _Feb._, 1917
    THE REASON. p 2m 2w                      _Smart Set_, _Sept._, 1917

  DE MILLE, William C.
    IN 1999. c 1m 2w                         _French_
    FOOD. c 2m 1w                            _French_
    POOR OLD JIM. p 2m 1w                    _French_
    DECEIVERS. p                             _French_

  MILTON, John. Adapted by L. Chater
    COMUS. m Nine characters                 _Baker_

  MOLIERE
    DOCTOR IN SPITE OF HIMSELF. c 6m 3w      _French_
    THE SICILIAN. Two scenes. c 4m 3w        _French_
    THE AFFECTED YOUNG LADIES. s 6m 3w       _French_
    SGANARELLE. _See_ Eliot: Little Theatre Classics
    GREGORY, LADY. The Kiltartan Moliere
    DOCTOR IN SPITE OF HIMSELF. 6m 3w
    THE MISER
    THE ROGUERIES OF SCAPIN
      Three plays in one volume              _Putnam_

  MOELLER, Philip. FIVE SOMEWHAT HISTORICAL PLAYS
    HELENA'S HUSBAND. c 3m 2w
    THE LITTLE SUPPER. c 3m 1w
    SISTERS OF SUSANNAH. c 5m 1w
    ROADHOUSE IN ARDEN. c 4m 2w
    POKEY. c 6m 3w
      Five plays in one volume               _Knopf_
    TWO BLIND BEGGARS AND ONE LESS BLIND. p 3m 1w      _Arens_

  MONTAGUE, Harold
    PROPOSING BY PROXY. c 1m 1w              _French_

  MONTOMASA
    SUMIDA GAWA. d 2m 1w 1j                  _Stratford_, _Jan._, 1918

  MORGAN, Charles D.
    SEARCH ME! c 1m 2w                       _Smart Set_, _Jan._, 1915

  MORNINGSIDE PLAYS, The
    DEPUE, ELVA. HATTIE. d 2m 3w
    BRIGGS, CAROLINE. ONE A DAY. c 5m
    MACDONALD, Z. MARKHEIM. d 2m 1w
    REIZENSTEIN, E. L. HOME OF THE FREE. c 2m 2w
      Four plays in one vol.                 _Frank Shay_

  MORRISON, Arthur
    THAT BRUTE SIMMONS. c 2m 1w              _French_

  MOSHER, John Chapin
    SAUCE FOR THE EMPEROR. c 5m 4w           _Shay_

  MOTHER, Charles C.
    DISPATCHES FOR WASHINGTON. p 4m 5w       _Baker_

  MOTHER GOOSE, A DREAM OF
    By J. C. MARCHANT, S. J. MAYHEW, H. WILBUR and others.
    Containing A Dream of Mother Goose;
    Scenes from Mother Goose;
    A Mother Goose Party;
    Two Mother Goose Operettas               _Baker_

  MOYLE, Gilbert
    THE TRAGEDY                              _Four Seas_

  MUGGERIDGE, Marie
    THE REST CURE. p 1m 1w                   _French_

  MURRAY, T. C.
    BIRTHRIGHT. Two acts. d 4m 1w            _Maunsel_

  MUSKERRY, William
    AN IMAGINARY AUNT. c 4w                  _French_

  DE MUSSET, Alfred. BARBERINE AND OTHER COMEDIES
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    FANTASIO. Two acts. 8m 2w
    NO TRIFLING WITH LOVE. Three acts. 4m 3w
    A DOOR MUST BE OPEN OR SHUT. 2m
    A CAPRICE. 1m 2w
    ONE CANNOT THINK OF EVERYTHING. 3m 2w
   Six plays in one volume                   _Sergel_

  DE MUSSET, A., and AUGIER, E.
     THE GREEN COAT. c 3m 1w                 _French_
     NAPOLEON AND THE SENTRY. p 3m 1w        _Dramatic_


  NARODNY, Ivan
    FORTUNE FAVORS FOOLS. c 4m 3w            _Poet Lore_

  NATHAN, George Jean
    THE ETERNAL MYSTERY. p 2m 1w 1j          _Smart Set_

  NATHAN, Robert G.
    THE COWARD. p 1m 2w                      _Harvard_, _March_, 1914
    ATOMS. p 2m 1w                           _Harvard_, _Nov._, 1913

  NEIHARDT, John G.
    EIGHT HUNDRED RUBLES. p 1m 2w            _Forum_, _Mar._, 1915

  NEVITT, Mary Ross
    THE ROSTOF PEARLS. p 7w                  _French_

  NEWTON, H. L.
    OUTWITTED. p 1m 1w                       _Baker_
    HER SECOND TIME ON EARTH. c 1m 1w        _Baker_

  NIRDLINGER, C. F. Four short plays
    LOOK AFTER LOUISE. d 3m 1w
    BIG KATE. d 4m 1w
    THE REAL PEOPLE. d 2m 1w
    AREN'T THEY WONDERS. d 2m 2w
      Four plays in one vol.                 _Kennerley_
    WASHINGTON'S FIRST DEFEAT. c 1m 2w       _French_

  NOGUCHI, Yone
    THE DEMON'S SHELL. p 2m                  _Poet Lore_
    TEN JAPANESE NOH PLAYS. In prep.         _Four Seas_

  NORMAND, Jacques
    A DROP OF WATER. c 2m 1w                 _Dramatic_

  NORTON, Harold F.
    THE WOMAN. p 1m 2w                       _Sheffield_, _June_, 1914


  O'BRIEN, Edward J.
    AT THE FLOWING OF THE TIDE. p 1m 1w      _Forum_, _Sept._, 1914

  O'BRIEN, Seumas. DUTY AND OTHER IRISH COMEDIES
    DUTY. c 5m 1w
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    MAGNANIMITY. c 5m
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    RETRIBUTION. c 3m 1w
      Five plays in one volume               _Little_

  OFFICER, Katherine
    ALL SOULS' EVE. p 3m 4w             _International_, _Jan._, 1913

  OLIVER, Mary Scott. SIX ONE-ACT PLAYS
    THE HAND OF THE PROPHET. p 5m 2w
    CHILDREN OF GRANADA. p 6m 4w
    THE TURTLE DOVE. p 5m 1w
    THIS YOUTH--GENTLEMEN! f 2m
    THE STRIKER. p 2m 3w
    MURDERING SELINA. c 5m 2w
      Six plays in one volume                _Badger_

  O'NEILL, Eugene. THIRST AND OTHER ONE-ACT PLAYS
    THIRST. p 2m 1w
    THE WEB. p 5m 1w
    WARNINGS. p 5m 4w
    FOG. p 3m 1w
    RECKLESSNESS. p 3m 2w
      Five plays in one volume               _Badger_
    BOUND EAST FOR CARDIFF. d 11m            _Shay_
    BEFORE BREAKFAST. d 1w                   _Shay_
  THE MOON OF THE CARIBBEES
    MOON OF THE CARIBBEES. p 17m 4w
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    IN THE ZONE. p 9m
    ILE. p 5m 1w
    WHERE THE CROSS IS MADE. p 6m 1w
    THE ROPE. p 3m 2w
      Seven plays in one volume              _Boni & Liveright_

  OPPENHEIM, James
    THE PIONEER. Two scenes. d 5m 2w         _Huebsch_
    NIGHT. p 4m 1w                           _Arens_

  O'SHEA, Monica Barrie
    THE RUSHLIGHT. p                         _Drama_

  OVERSTREET, H. A.
    HEARTS TO MEND. 2m 1w                    _Stewart_

  OWEN, Harold
    A LITTLE FOWL PLAY. c 3m 2w              _French_


  PAIN, Mrs. Barry. NINE OF DIAMONDS AND OTHER PLAYS
    THE NINE OF DIAMONDS
    HER LADYSHIP'S JEWELS. c 1m 2w
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      Three plays in one volume              _London, Chapman_
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    TRUST. c 1m 1w
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      Four plays in one volume               _Chapman_

  PALMER, John
    OVER THE HILLS. c 2m 2w                  _Smart Set_, _June_, 1915

  PARAMORE, E. E.
    ACROSS THE MARSH. p 2m                   _Sheffield_, _April_, 1917

  PARKER, Louis N. _See also_ JACOBS,W. W.
    MAN IN THE STREET. p 2m 1w               _French_

  PARKHURST, Winthrop.
    IT NEVER HAPPENS. c 2m 1w                _Smart Set_, _Dec._, 1918
    IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARLY. c 2m 2w       _Smart Set_, _Nov._, 1916
    MORRACA. p 7m 1w                         _Drama_, _Nov._, 1918
    THE BEGGAR AND THE KING. p 3m            _Drama_, _Feb._, 1919
    GETTING UNMARRIED. p 1m 1w               _Smart Set_, _April_, 1918

  PASTON, George
    FEED THE BRUTE. p 1m 2w                  _French_
    STUFFING. c 2m 2w                        _French_
    TILDA'S NEW HAT. c 1m 3w                 _French_
    PARENT'S PROGRESS. c 3m 3w               _French_

  PATRICK, A.
    JIMMY. p 2m

  PAULL, H. M.
    HAL, THE HIGHWAYMAN. p 4m 2w             _French_

  PEABODY, Josephine Preston
    FORTUNE AND MEN'S EYES. p 8m 2w i        _French_
    THE WINGS. p 3m 1w                       _French_

  PEARCE, Walter
    1588. c 4m 1w                            _French_

  PEMBERTON, Max
    PRIMA DONNA. c 3m 3w                     _French_
    LIGHTS OUT. c 3m 3w                      _French_

  PHELPS, P., and SHORT, M.
    SAINT CECILIA. p 1m 7w                   _French_

  PHILLPOTTS, Eden. CURTAIN RAISERS
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      Three plays in one volume              _Brentano_
    PAIR OF KNICKERBOCKERS. c 1m 1w          _French_
    BREEZY MORNING. c 1m 1w                  _French_

  PHILLPOTTS, Eden, and GROVES, Charles
    THEIR GOLDEN WEDDING. c 2m 1w            _French_

  PIAGGIO, E. E.
    AT THE PLAY. p                           _London_, _Williams_

  PICHEL, Irving
    TOM, TOM, THE PIPER'S SON. p 3m          _Harvard_, _Dec._, 1913

  PILLOT, E.
    HUNGER. f 4m 1w                          _Stratford_, _June_, 1918
    THE GAZING GLOBE. p 2m 1w                _Stratford_, _Nov._, 1918

  PINERO, Sir Arthur Wing
    PLAYGOERS. c 2m 6w                       _French_
    THE WIDOW OF WASDALE HEAD. d             _Smart Set_, _May_, 1914
    HESTER'S MYSTERY. c 3m 2w                _French_
    MONEY SPINNER.
      Two acts. d 5m 3w                      _French_

  PINSKI, David _See_ Six Plays for the Yiddish Theatre
    A DOLLAR. c 5m 3w                        _Stratford_, _June_, 1917
    MICHAEL. p 4m                            _Stratford_, _April_, 1918

  PORTMANTEAU PLAYS. See WALKER, Stuart

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  PLAUTUS
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  PICARD, L. B.
    THE ROSEBUD. c 5m 2w                     _French_

  POUND, Ezra, and FENOLLOSA, Ernest
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    SHOJO. 2m supers
    TAHURA. 3m i
      and others                             _Knopf_

  PRESBERY, Eugene
    COURTSHIP OF MILES STANDISH. p 2m 2w     _French_

  PRICE, Graham
    THE CAPTURE OF WALLACE. p 4m 1w          _Phillips_
    THE SONG OF THE SEAL.   p 2m 2w          _Phillips_
    THE ABSOLUTION OF BRUCE. p 10m           _Phillips_
    MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN.            _Phillips_

  PROVINCETOWN PLAYS. Edited by GEORGE CRAM COOK and FRANK SHAY
    ROSTETTER, ALICE. THE WIDOW'S VEIL
    OPPENHEIM, JAMES. NIGHT
    COOK AND GLASPELL. SUPPRESSED DESIRES
    O'NEILL, EUGENE. BOUND EAST FOR CARDIFF
    MILLAY, EDNA ST. VINCENT. ARIA DA CAPO
    WELLMAN, RITA. STRING OF THE SAMISEN
    STEELE, WILBUR DANIEL. NOT SMART
    HAPGOOD AND BOYCE. ENEMIES
    KING, PENDLETON. COACAINE
      In one volume                          _Stewart_

  PRYCE, Richard
    THE VISIT. p 2m 3w                       _French_

  PRYCE, R., and MORRISON A.
    DUMB-CAKE. p 1m 2w                       _French_

  PRYCE, R., and DRURY, W. P.
    THE PRIVY COUNCIL. c 3m 4w               _French_

  PRYDZ, Alvilde
    HE IS COMING. p 1m 5w                    _Poet Lore_

  PUTNAM, Nina Wilcox
    ORTHODOXY. p                             _Kennerley_


  QUINTERO, Serafino, and JOAQUIN, Alvarez
    A BRIGHT MORNING. c 2m 2w                _Poet Lore_
    BY THEIR WORDS YE SHALL KNOW THEM. c 2m 1w    _Drama_, _Feb._, 1917


  RANCK, Edwin C.
    THE YELLOW BOOTS. p 2m 1w                _Stratford_, _May_, 1919

  RANDALL, William R.
    THE GREY OVERCOAT. p 3m                  _French_

  REED, John
    FREEDOM. c 6m                            _Shay_
    MOONDOWN. p 2w                           _Masses_
    THE PEACE THAT PASSETH
        UNDERSTANDING. f 12 characters       _Liberator_, _March_, 1919

  REELY, Mary Katherine
    DAILY BREAD. p 1m 4w
    A WINDOW TO THE SOUTH. p 5m 3w
    THE LEAN YEARS. p 2m 2w
      Three plays in one vol.                _H. W. Wilson_

  REIZENSTEIN, Elmer L.
    HOME OF THE FREE. c 2m 2w
      In "Morningside Plays"                 _Shay_

  RENARD, Jules
    GOOD-BYE! c 1m 1w                        _Smart Set_, _June_, 1916

  RENARD, Jules. Translated by Alfred Sutro
    CARROTS. p 1m 2w                         _French_

  REPRESENTATIVE ONE-ACT PLAYS BY AMERICAN AUTHORS
    Selected, with biographical notes, by
        Margaret Gardiner Mayorga, M. A.     _Little_

  RICE, Cale Young. THE IMMORTAL LURE
    GIORGIONE. p
    ARDUIN. p
    O-UME'S GODS. p
    THE IMMORTAL LURE. p
      Four plays in one vol.                 _Doubleday_
    A NIGHT IN AVIGNON. p
      In "Collected Plays and Poems"         _Doubleday_

  RICHARDSON, Frank
    BONNIE DUNDEE. d 4m 2w                   _French_

  RIVOIRE, Andre
    THE LITTLE SHEPHERDESS. p 1m 2w          _French_

  ROBINS, Gertrude. LOVING AS WE DO, etc.
    LOVING AS WE DO
    THE RETURN
    AFTER THE CASE
    'ILDA'S HONOURABLE
      Four plays in one volume               _Werner Laurie_
    MAKESHIFTS. p
    REALITIES. p
      Two plays in one volume                _French_
    POT LUCK. c 3m 1w                        _French_

  ROGERS, Maude M.
    WHEN THE WHEELS RUN DOWN. p 3m            _French_

  ROGERS, Robert E.
    BEHIND A WATTEAU PICTURE. f 6m 2w        _Baker_

  ROOF, Katherine
    THE WORLD BEYOND THE
        MOUNTAIN. p 2m 2w               _International_, _Nov._, 1913

  ROSENBERG, James N.
    THE RETURN TO MUTTON.
      Two acts. c 2m 1w                      _Kennerley_

  ROSS, Clarendon
    THE AVENGER. f 2m                        _Drama_, _Aug._, 1918

  RUSCHKE, Edmont W. THE ECHO, etc.
    THE ECHO. c 5m 5w
    DEATH SPEAKS. f 2m
    THE INTANGIBLE. d 2m 2w
      Three plays in one vol                 _Stratford_

  RUSINOL, Santiago
    THE PRODIGAL DOLL. c 5m 6w               _Drama_, _Feb._, 1917


  SARDOU, Victorien
    THE BLACK PEARL. c 7m 3w                 _French_

  SARGENT, Frederick Leroy
    OMAR AND THE RABBI. In prep.             _Four Seas_

  SARKADI, Leo
    A VISION OF PAGANINI. p 2m 1w       _International_, _Feb._, 1916
    THE PASSING SHADOW. p 2m            _International_, _Aug._, 1916
    THE LINE OF LIFE. p 4m 3w           _International_, _Nov._, 1916

  SAWYER, Ruth
    THE SIDHE OF BEN-MOR. p 1m 6w            _Poet Lore_

  SCHMERTZ, John R.
    THE MARKSMAN. p 4m 1w                    _Sheffield_, _Feb._, 1917

  SCHNITZLER, Arthur. COMEDIES OF WORDS. Translated by Pierre Loving
    THE HOUR OF RECOGNITION. c 3m 2w
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    THE FESTIVAL OF BACCHUS. c 4m 2w
    LITERATURE. c 2m 1w
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    COUNTESS MIZZIE. c 7m 2w
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    LIVING HOURS
    THE WOMAN WITH THE DAGGER
    THE LAST MASKS
    LITERATURE
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    GALLANT CASSIAN. Puppet Play. 3m 1w      _Phillips_
    DUKE AND THE ACTRESS. c 16m 2w           _Badger_
    LADY WITH THE DAGGER. d 1m 1w            _Poet Lore_

  SCOTT, Clement
    CAPE MAIL. p 3m 4w                       _Dramatic_

  SCOTTISH REPERTORY PLAYS
    MAXWELL, W. B. THE LAST MAN IN. p 4m 1w
    BRIGHOUSE, H. THE PRICE OF COAL. p 1m 3w
    CHAPIN, H. AUGUSTUS IN SEARCH OF A FATHER. p 3m
    COLQUHON, D. JEAN. p 2m
    DOWN, O. THE MAKER OF DREAMS. f 2m 1w
    CHAPIN, H. DUMB AND THE BLIND. p 2m 1w 2j
    BRIGHOUSE, H. LONESOME-LIKE. p 2m 2w
    CHAPIN, H. AUTOCRAT OF THE COFFEE STALL. p
    CHAPIN, H. MUDDLE ANNIE. p
    FERGUSON, J. A. CAMPBELL OF KILMHOR. p 4m 2w
    KORI, TORAHIKO. KANAWA, the Incantation. 4m 1w
    BRIGHOUSE, H. MAID OF FRANCE. p 2m       _Phillips_

  SHAKESPEARE
    OBERON AND TITANIA, 12 characters        _French_

  SHAW, George Bernard
    HOW HE LIED TO HER HUSBAND. c 2m 1w      _Brentano_
    PRESS CUTTINGS. c 3m 3w                  _Brentano_
    DARK LADY OF THE SONNETS. c 1m 2w        _Brentano_
    OVERRULED. p                             _Brentano_
    HEARTBREAK HOUSE
    GREAT CATHERINE
    O'FLATHERTY, C. V.
    INCA OF PERUSALEM
    AUGUSTUS DOES HIS BIT
    THE BOLSHEVIK PRINCESS
      Six plays in one volume                _Brentano_

  SHAW, Mary
    THE PARROT CAGE. a 1m 7w                 _Dramatic_
    THE WOMAN OF IT. c 9w                    _Dramatic_

  SHORES, Elsa. _See_ BELMONT, Mrs.
    O. H. P.

  SIERRA, Gregorio Martinez
    THE LOVER. c 1m 2w                       _Stratford_, _July_, 1919
    LOVE MAGIC. c 4m 3w                      _Drama_, _Feb._, 1917
    THE CRADLE SONG. 3 Two acts. 4m 10w      _Poet Lore_

  SINCLAIR, Upton. Plays of Protest.
    THE SECOND STORY MAN. d 1m 1w            _Kennerley_

  SOLOGUB, Feodor
    THE TRIUMPH OF DEATH. Three short
        acts. d 4m 2w                        _Drama_, _Aug._, 1916

  SOPHOCLES
    ANTIGONE. 11 characters                  _Baker_

  SOTILLO, Antonio, and MICHO, Andres
    THE JUDGMENT OF POSTERITY. p 5m 1w       _Poet Lore_

  SPEYER, Lady
    LOVE ME, LOVE MY DOG. p 3m 1w            _Smart Set_, _Jan._, 1919

  SPRINGER, Thomas G.
    SECRETS OF THE DEEP. p 7m                _Smart Set_, _June_, 1914

  STEELL, W.
    p 6m 1w                                  _Baker_

  STERLING, George
    THE DRYAD. p 1m 2w                       _Smart Set_, _Feb._, 1919

  STEVENS, Henry Bailey. A CRY OUT IN THE DARK
    THE MEDDLER
    BOLO AND BABETTE. In prep.
    THE MADHOUSE
      Three plays in one vol.                _Four Seas_

  STEVENS, Wallace
    THREE TRAVELERS WATCH A SUNRISE. p 5m 1w i  _Poetry_, _July_, 1916

  STEWART, Anna B.
    BELLES OF CANTERBURY.

  STEWART-KIDD MODERN PLAYS. Edited by FRANK SHAY
    TOMPKINS, F. G. SHAM. c 3m 1w            _Stewart_
    HUDSON, HOLLAND. THE SHEPHERD IN THE
        DISTANCE. f 10 characters            _Stewart_
    FLANNER, HILDEGARDE. MANSIONS. p 1m 2w   _Stewart_
    OVERSTREET, H. A. HEARTS TO
        MEND. f 2m 1w                        _Stewart_

  ST. HILL, T. N.
    DUTY. p 2m                               _Sheffield_, _May_, 1916

  STRAMM, August
    THE BRIDE OF THE MOOR. p 4m 2w
    SANCTA SUSANNA. p 1m 3w
      Two plays in one number                _Poet Lore_

  STRATTON, Charles
    THE CODA. p 1m 2w                        _Drama_, _May_, 1918

  STRINDBERG, August
  PLAYS. First Series
    THE DREAM PLAY. THE LINK
    THE DANCE OF DEATH. Parts I and II
  PLAYS. Second Series
    CREDITORS. p 2m 1w
    PARIAH. p 2m
    MISS JULIA. p 3w
    THE STRONGER. p 2w
    THERE ARE CRIMES AND CRIMES
    LUCKY PEHR                               _Stewart_
    EASTER                                   _Stewart_
  PLAYS. Third Series
    SWANWHITE. A Fairy Play. p 10m 6w
    SIMOON. p 2m 1w
    DEBIT AND CREDIT. p 6m 3w
    ADVENT. Three acts. p 7m 3w
    THE THUNDERSTORM. p 8m 4w
    AFTER THE FIRE. p 11m 4w
  PLAYS. Fourth Series
    THE BRIDAL CROWN. Six scenes. p 12m 8w others
    THE SPOOK SONATA. p 7m 6w
    THE FIRST WARNING. c 1m 4w
    GUSTAVUS VASA. Five acts. d 20m 8w
      Four volumes                           _Scribners_
    THE STRONGER WOMAN. p 2w
    MOTHERLY LOVE. p 4w
      Two plays in one volume                _Henderson_
    PARIA. p 2m
    SIMOON. p 2m 1w
      Two plays in one volume                _Henderson_
    MISS JULIE. p 1m 2w                      _Henderson_
    THE CREDITOR. p 2m 1w                    _Henderson_
    THE OUTCAST.
    SIMOON. 2m 1w
    DEBIT AND CHRIST. p 6m 3w
      Three plays in one volume              _Badger_
    JULIE. p 2m 1w                           _Badger_
    THE CREDITORS. p 2m 1w                   _Badger_
    MOTHER LOVE. p 4w                        _Brown_

  SUBERT, Frantisek Adolf
    JAN VYRAVA. d 21m 11w                    _Poet Lore_

  SUDERMANN, Herman. ROSES
    STREAKS OF LIGHT. d 2m 1w
    MARGOT. d 4m 2w
    THE LAST VISIT. d 5m 3w
    FAR-AWAY PRINCESS. c 2m 7w
      Four plays in one volume               _Scribner_
  MORITURI
    TEJA. d 7m 2w
    FRITZCHEN. d 5m 2w
    ETERNAL MASCULINE. p 5m 2w
      Three plays in one volume              _Scribner_
    JOHANNES. p 40i                          _Poet Lore_

  SUTRO, Alfred. FIVE LITTLE PLAYS
    THE MAN IN THE STALLS. 2m 1w
    A MARRIAGE HAS BEEN ARRANGED. 1m 1w
    THE MAN ON THE KERB. 1m 1w
    THE OPEN DOOR. p 1m 1w
    THE BRACELET. c 5m 3w
      Five plays in one volume               _Brentano_
    THE BRACELET. c 5m 3w                    _French_
    A MARRIAGE HAS BEEN ARRANGED. 1m 1w      _French_
    THE CORRECT THING. p 1m 1w               _French_
    ELLA'S APOLOGY. p 1m 1w                  _French_
    A GAME OF CHESS. p 1m 1w                 _French_
    THE GUTTER OF TIME. p 1m 1w              _French_
    A MAKER OF MEN. p 1m 1w                  _French_
    THE MAN OF THE KERB. 1m                  _French_
    THE OPEN DOOR. p 1m 1w                   _French_
    MR. STEINMANN'S CORNER. p 2m 2w          _French_
    THE SALT OF LIFE. p 1m 1w                _French_
    THE MARRIAGE WILL NOT TAKE PLACE. c 2m 1w

  SYMONS, Arthur
    CLEOPATRA IN JUDEA. p 7m 3w              _Forum_, _June_, 1916

  SYNGE, John Millington
    THE SHADOW OF THE GLEN                   _Luce_
    RIDERS TO THE SEA                        _Luce_
    THE TINKER'S WEDDING                     _Luce_
    DEIRDRE OF THE SORROWS                   _Luce_


  TARKINGTON, Booth
    BEAUTY AND THE JACOBIN. c 3m 2w          _Harper_

  TERRELL, Maverick
    HONI SOIT.. s 1m 1w                      _Smart Set_, _Jan._, 1918
    TEMPERAMENT.. c 2m 2w                    _Smart Set_, _Sept._, 1916

  TERRELL, Maverick, and STECHHAN, H. O.
    THE REAL "Q." c 3m                       _Smart Set_, _Sept._, 1911

  TCHEKOFF, Anton.
  PLAYS. First Series
    THE SWAN SONG. p 2m                      _Scribner_
  PLAYS. Second Series
    ON THE HIGH ROAD. p 8m 3w
    THE PROPOSAL. c 2m 1w
    THE WEDDING. c 7m 3w
    THE BEAR. c 2m 1w
    TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF. c 2m
    ANNIVERSARY. c 2m 1w
      Six plays in one volume                _Scribner_
    A BEAR. c 2m 1w                          _French_
    THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. c 2m 1w           _French_
      _See_ BECHHOFER. Five plays
    ON THE HIGHMAY. d 6m 3w                  _Drama_, _May_, 1916

  TENNYSON, Alfred Lord
    THE FALCON. p 2m 2w                      _Collected Works_

  TERENCE
    PHORMIO. c 11m 2w                        _French_

  THEURIET, Jean
    JEAN MARIE. p 2m 1w                      _French_

  THOMAS, Brandon
    HIGHLAND LEGACY. c 5m 2w                 _French_
    LANCASHIRE SAILOR. p 3m 2w               _French_
    COLOUR SERGEANT. p 4m 1w                 _French_

  THOMAS, Kate
    AN EVENING AT HELEN'S. p 7m              _French_
    A BIT OF NONSENSE. c 8w                  _French_

  THOMPSON, Alice C. PLAYS FOR WOMEN CHARACTERS
    HER SCARLET SLIPPERS. p 4w               _Penn_
    AN IRISH INVASION. c 8w                  _Baker_
    A KNOT OF WHITE RIBBON. p 3w             _Penn_
    THE LUCKIEST GIRL. p 4w                  _Denison_
    MUCH TOO SUDDEN. p 7w                    _Baker_
    OYSTERS. c 6w                            _Baker_
    THE WRONG BABY. c 8w                     _Penn_

  THOMPSON, Harlan
    ONE BY ONE. 2m 2w                        _Smart Set_, _May_, 1919
    THE MAN HUNT. c 2m 1w                    _Smart Set_, _June_, 1919
    PANTS AND THE MAN. c 5m 2w               _Smart Set_, _Nov._, 1917
    GEOMETRICALLY SPEAKING. p 3m 1w          _Smart Set_, _Nov._, 1918

  TOMPKINS, Frank G.
    SHAM. c 3m 1w                            _Stewart_

  TORRENCE, Ridgely. THREE PLAYS FOR THE NEGRO THEATRE
    GRANNY MAUMEE. p 3w
    THE RIDER OF DREAMS. p 3m 1w
    SIMON THE CYRENIAN. p 10m 6w
      Three plays in one vol.                _Macmillan_

  TRADER, G. H.
    SHAKESPEARE'S DAUGHTERS. f 11w           _French_

  TREE, H. B.
    SIX AND EIGHTPENCE. c 2m 1w              _French_

  TREVOR, Philip
    UNDER THE GREENWOOD TREE. p 2m 5w        _French_
    THE LOOKING GLASS. p 7j                  _French_


  UKRAINKA, L.
    THE BABYLONIAN CAPTIVITY. d 1m 7i
      In Bechofer: Five Russian Plays.

  URCHLICKY, Jaroslav
    AT THE CHASM. p 2m 1w                    _Poet Lore_


  VIERECK, Geo. S.
    A GAME OF LOVE. p 1m 2w
    THE MOOD OF A MOMENT. p 2m 1w
    FROM DEATH'S OWN EYES. p 1m 2w
    QUESTION OF FIDELITY. p 1m 1w
    THE BUTTERFLY. p 2m 3w
      Five plays in one volume               _Moffat_

  Von VIZEN, D.
    THE CHOICE OF A TUTOR. c 5m 3w
    In Bechofer: Five Russian Plays.

  VAN ETTEN, G.
    THE VAMPIRE CAT. p 4m 2w                 _Dramatic_


  WALKER, Stuart. THE PORTMANTEAU PLAYS
    THE TRIMPLET. c 2m 4w
    NEVERTHELESS. c 2m 1w
    SIX WHO PASS WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL. c 5m 3w
    THE MEDICINE SHOW. c 3m
      Four plays in one volume               _Stewart_
    MORE PORTMANTEAU PLAYS
    THE LADY OF THE WEEPING WILLOW TREE
    THE VERY NAKED BOY
    JONATHAN MAKES A WISH
      Three in one volume                    _Stewart_
    PORTMANTEAU ADAPTATIONS
    GAMMER GURTON'S NEEDLE
    WILDE, O. THE BIRTHDAY OF THE INFANTA
    TARKINGTON, BOOTH. SEVENTEEN
      In one volume                          _Stewart_

  WALKER, W. R.
    A PAIR OF LUNATICS. c 1m 1w              _French_
    GENTLEMAN JIM. 1m 1w                     _French_

  WALLACE, A. C.
    CHRYSANTHEMUMS. c 2m 2w                  _French_

  WARE, J. Herbert
    THE MEASURE OF THE MAN. p 3m 1w          _Sheffield_, _June_, 1916

  WARREN, P., and HUTCHINS, W.
    THE DAY THAT LINCOLN DIED. p 5m 2w       _Baker_

  WASHINGTON SQUARE PLAYS, THE
    BEACH, L. THE CLOD. p 4m 1w
    GOODMAN, E. EUGENICALLY SPEAKING. c 3m 1w
    GERSTENBERG, A. OVERTONES. p 4w
    MOELLER, P. HELENE'S HUSBAND. c 3m 2w
      Four plays in one vol.                      _Doubleday_
    LANGER, L. ANOTHER WAY OUT. c 2m 3w           _Shay_
    GLASPELL, S. TRIFLES. d 3m 2w                 _Shay_
    CROCKER, B. THE LAST STRAW. d 2m 1w 2j        _Shay_
    ANDREYEV, L. LOVE OF ONE'S NEIGHBOR. s 15m 7w _Shay_
    CRONYN, G. THE SANDBAR QUEEN. p 6m 1w         _Arens_
    MOELLER, P. TWO BLIND BEGGARS, etc. p 3m 1w   _Arens_
    MAETERLINCK, M.
      INTERIOR
      MIRACLE OF ST. ANTHONY
      DEATH OF TINTAGILES. _See_ Author
    REED, J. MOONDOWN. p 2w                       _Masses_
    TCHEKOW, A. THE BEAR. c 2m 1w                 _French_
    MACKAYE, P. THE ANTICK. _See_ Author
    SCHNITZLER, A. LITERATURE. _See_ Author
    MOELLER, P.
      ROADHOUSE IN ARDEN
      SISTERS OF SUSANNA
      POKEY. _See_ Author
    WEDEKIND, F. THE TENOR. p 5m 3w          _Smart Set_, _June_, 1913
    AKINS, Z. THE MAGICAL CITY. p 7m 2w      _Forum_, _May_, 1914
    DE BRVEYS, D. A. PIERRE PATELIN. c 7m 2w _French_
    TCHEKOV, A. THE SEA GULL. _See_ Author
    EVREINOV, N. _See_ Bechofer: Five Russian Plays
    PORTO-RICHE. LOVERS' LUCK. _See_ Clark: Plays for the Free Theatre
    IZUMO, T. THE PINE TREE. Bushido. _See_ Author
    MASSAY, E. PLOTS AND PLAYWRIGHTS. c 11m 6w    _Little_
    MOLIERE. SGANARELLE. DOCTOR IN SPITE OF HIMSELF. _See_ Author
    STRINDBERG, A. PARIAH. _See_ Author

  WATTS, Mary S. THREE SHORT PLAYS
    AN ANCIENT DANCE. Two acts. p 6m 3w
    CIVILIZATION. p 5m 5w
    WEARIN' O' THE GREEN. c 8m 7w
      Three plays in one vol.                _Macmillan_

  WEDEKIND, Frank
    THE TENOR. p 5m 3w                       _Smart Set_, _June_, 1913

  WEIL, Percival L.
    THE CULPRIT. p 3m 1w                     _Smart Set_, _Feb._, 1913

  WELLMAN, Rita
    THE LADY WITH THE MIRROR. a 2m 2w        _Drama_, _Aug._, 1918
    DAWN. p 2m 1w                            _Drama_, _Feb._, 1919
    FUNICULI FUNICULI. In Mayorga's
        "Representative One-Act Plays"       _Little_

  WELSH, Robert Gilbert
    JEZEBEL. p 6m 3w                         _Forum_, _May_, 1915

  WENDT, Frederick W.
    DES IRAE. p 1m 1w                        _Smart Set_, _July_, 1911

  WHITE, Lucy
    THE BIRD CHILD. p 2m 2w 1j               _International_, _Nov._,
                                                  1914

  WILCOX, Constance
    TOLD IN A CHINESE
        GARDEN. p 10 characters              _Drama_, _May_, 1919

  WILDE, Oscar
    SALOME. d 11m 2w                         _Several editions_
    BIRTHDAY OF THE INFANTA

  WILDE, Percival. DAWN AND OTHER ONE-ACT PLAYS
    DAWN. d 2m 1w 1j
    THE NOBLE LORD. c 2m 1w
    THE TRAITOR. d 7m
    THE HOUSE OF CARDS. p 1m 1w
    PLAYING WITH FIRE. c 1m 2w
    FINGER OF GOD. p 2m 1w
      Six plays in one volume                _Holt_
    CONFESSIONAL. p 3m 3w
    ACCORDING TO DARWIN. p 3m 2w
    A QUESTION OF MORALITY. c 3m 1w
    THE BEAUTIFUL STORY. p 1m 1w 1j
    THE VILLAIN OF THE PIECE. c 2m 1w
       Five plays in one volume              _Holt_
    LINE OF NO RESISTANCE. c 1m 2w           _French_
    SAVED. p 9m 1w                           _Smart Set_, _July_, 1915

  WILEY, Sara King
    PATRIOTS. c 3m 2w                        _French_

  WISCONSIN PLAYS
    FIRST SERIES
      GALE, Z. THE NEIGHBORS. d 2m 6w
      DICKINSON, T. H. IN HOSPITAL. c 3m 2w
      LEONARD, W. E. GLORY OF THE MORNING. p 3m 2w
        Three plays in one vol.              _Huebsch_
    SECOND SERIES
      ILLSEY, S. M. FEAST OF THE HOLY INNOCENTS. p 5w
      SHERRY, L. ON THE PIER. p 1m 1w
      JONES, H. M. THE SHADOW. p 4m 2w
      GILMAN, T. WE LIVE AGAIN. p 6m 6w
        Four Plays in one volume             _Huebsch_

  WOLFF, Oscar M.
    WHERE BUT IN AMERICA. c 1m 2w            _Smart Set_, _March_, 1918

  WORLD'S BEST PLAYS, The. Edited by BARRETT H. CLARK
    COPPEE, FRANCOIS. PATER NOSTER. p 3m 3w
    MEILHAC AND HALEVY. INDIAN SUMMER. c 2m 2w
    MAUREY, MAX. ROSALIE. c 1m 2w
    HERVIEU, PAUL. MODESTY. c 2m 1w
    TCHEKOF, ANTON. A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. c 2m 1w
    DE MUSSET AND AUGIER. THE GREEN COAT. c 3m 1w
    GIACOSA, GIUSEPPE. THE WAGER. c 4m 1w
    TERRENCE. PHORMIO. c 11m 2w
    RIVOIRE, ANDRE. THE LITTLE SHEPERDESS. c 1m 2w
    PLAUTUS. THE TWINS. c 7m 2w
    SARDOU, VICTORIEN. THE BLACK PEARL. c 7m 3w
    TCHEKOF, ANTON. THE BOOR. c 2m 1w
    DE BANVILLE, THEO. CHARMING LEANDER. c 2m 1w
    AUGIER, EMILE. THE POST SCRIPTUM. c 1m 2w
    MOLIERE. THE DOCTOR IN SPITE OF HIMSELF. c 6m 3w
    DE CAILAVET, G. A. CHOOSING A CAREER. c
    BERNARD, TRISTAN. FRENCH WITHOUT A MASTER. c 5m 2w
    MEILHAC AND HALEVY. PANURGE'S SHEEP. c 1m 2w
    BENEDIX, RODERICK. THE LAW SUIT. c 5m
    BENEDIX, RODERICK. THE THIRD MAN. c 1m 3w
    MOLIERE. THE SICILIAN. Two scenes. c 4m 3w
    MOLIERE. THE AFFECTED YOUNG LADIES. s 6m 3w
    BERNARD, TRISTAN. I'M GOING! c 1m 1w
    FEUILLET, OCTAVE. THE FAIRY. c 3m 1w
    FEUILLET, OCTAVE. THE VILLAGE. c 2m 2w
    LABICHE. GRAMMAR. c 4m 1w
    LABICHE. THE TWO COWARDS. c 3m 2w
    LESAGE. CRISPIN, HIS MASTER'S RIVAL. c 4m 3w
    MARIVAUX. THE LEGACY. c 4m 2w
    GYALUI, WOLFGANG. AFTER THE HONEYMOON. c 1m 1w
    BOUCHOR, MAURICE. A CHRISTMAS TALE. p 2m 2w
    FRANCE, ANATOLE. CRAINQUEBILLE. 3 scenes. p 12m 6w
    THEURIET, ANDRE. JEAN MARIE. p 2m 1w
    PICARD, L. B. THE REBOUND. c 5m 2w
    ARISTOPHANES. LYSISTRATA. s 4m 5w 1j
                                             _Published by French_

  WYNNE, Anna
    THE BROKEN BARS. p 10m 10w               _French_


  YEATS, William Butler
    THE COUNTESS CATHLEEN
    THE LAND OF HEART'S DESIRE
    THE SHADOWY WATERS
    THE KING'S THRESHOLD
    ON BAILE'S STRAND
    DEIRDRE                                  _Macmillan_
    THE GREEN HELMET                         _Macmillan_
    WHERE THERE IS NOTHING                   _Macmillan_
    THE HOUR GLASS
    CATHLEEN IN HOULIHAN
    A POT OF BROTH                           _Macmillan_
    IN THE SEVEN WOODS                       _Macmillan_

  YEHOASH
    THE SHUNAMITE. p 3m 1w                   _Stratford_, _June_, 1919

  YIDDISH THEATRE: SIX PLAYS FOR
    FIRST SERIES
      PINSKI, D. ABIGAIL. 7m 1w
      PINSKI, D. FORGOTTEN SOULS. 1m 2w
      ALEICHEM, S. SHE MUST MARRY A DOCTOR. 3m 4w
      ASH, S. WINTER. 1m 6w
      ASH, S. THE SINNER. 9m 1w
      HIRSCHBEIN, P. IN THE DARK. 3m 2w
        Six plays in one volume.
    SECOND SERIES
      PINSKI, D. LITTLE HEROES. p 6j
      PINSKI, D. THE STRANGER. p 9m 6w
      HIRSCHBEIN, P. ON THE THRESHOLD. p 4m 2w
      LEVIN, Z. POETRY AND PROSE. p 1m 1w
      KOBRIN, L. BLACK SHEEP. p 3m 2w
      KOBRIN, L. THE SWEET OF LIFE. p 2m 1w
        Six plays in one volume              _Huebsch_

  YOUNG, Stark. AT THE SHRINE AND OTHER PLAYS
    ADDIO. p 3m 1w
    MADRETTA. p 2m 1w
    AT THE SHRINE. p 1m 1w
      Three plays in one volume              _Stewart_


  ZANGWILL, Israel
    SIX PERSONS. c 1m 1w                     _French_
    GREAT DEMONSTRATION. c 2m 1w             _French_




BIBLIOGRAPHIES


  ACTABLE ONE-ACT PLAYS                 _Chicago Public Library, 1916_

  PLAYS AND BOOKS OF THE LITTLE THEATRE. Compiled by Frank Shay.

  A LIST OF PLAYS AND PAGEANTS. Prepared by the Committee on Pageantry,
    War Work Council, Young Woman's Christian Associations. 1919.

  PLAYS FOR AMATEURS. Arranged by John Mantel Clapp. Drama League of
    America. Chicago. 1915.

  GUIDE TO SELECTING PLAYS for the use of professionals and amateurs.
    By Wentworth Hogg. _French._ 1916.

  THE DRAMATIC BOOKS AND PLAYS. An annual compilation by Henry Eastman
    Lower and George Heron Milne. Boston Book Co.


       *       *       *       *       *




A SELECTED LIST

OF

DRAMATIC

LITERATURE


  PUBLISHED BY
  STEWART & KIDD COMPANY
  CINCINNATI



_Plays and Players_

  LEAVES FROM A CRITIC'S SCRAPBOOK

  BY WALTER PRICHARD EATON

  PREFACE BY BARRETT H. CLARK

A new volume of criticisms of plays and papers on acting, play-making,
and other dramatic problems, by Walter Prichard Eaton, dramatic critic,
and author of "The American Stage of To-day," "At the New Theater and
Others," "Idyl of the Twin Fires," etc. The new volume begins with plays
produced as far back as 1910, and brings the record down to the current
year. One section is devoted to American plays, one to foreign plays
acted on our stage, one to various revivals of Shakespeare. These
sections form a record of the important activities of the American
theater for the past six years, and constitute about half of the volume.
The remainder of the book is given over to various discussions of the
actor's art, of play construction, of the new stage craft, of new
movements in our theater, such as the Washington Square Players, and
several lighter essays in the satiric vein which characterized the
author's work when he was the dramatic critic of the =New York Sun=.
Unlike most volumes of criticisms, this one is illustrated, the pictures
of the productions described in the text furnishing an additional
historical record. At a time when the drama is regaining its lost
position of literary dignity it is particularly fitting that dignified
and intelligent criticism and discussion should also find accompanying
publication.

=Toronto Saturday Night=:

    Mr. Eaton writes well and with dignity and independence. His book
    should find favor with the more serious students of the Drama of
    the Day.

=Detroit Free Press=:

    This is one of the most interesting and also valuable books on the
    modern drama that we have encountered in that period popularly
    referred to as "a dog's age." Mr. Eaton is a competent and
    well-esteemed critic. The book is a record of the activities of
    the American stage since 1910, down to the present. Mr. Eaton
    succinctly restores the play to the memory, revisualizes the
    actors, and puts the kernel of it into a nutshell for us to ponder
    over and by which to correct our impressions.

  _Large 12mo. About 420 pages, 10 full-page illustrations
        on Cameo Paper and End Papers_                       _Net_ $3.00
  _Gilt top. 3/4 Maroon Turkey Morocco_                      _Net_  8.50



_Four Plays of the Free Theater_

  Francois de Curel's _The Fossils_
  Jean Jullien's _The Serenade_
  Georges de Porto-Riche's _Françoise' Luck_
  Georges Ancey's _The Dupe_

_Translated with an introduction on Antoine and Theatre Libre by BARRETT
H. CLARK. Preface by BRIEUX, of the French Academy, and a Sonnet by
EDMOND ROSTAND._

=The Review of Reviews says=:

    "A lengthy introduction, which is a gem of condensed information."

=H. L. Mencken (in the Smart Set) says=:

    "Here we have, not only skilful playwriting, but also sound
    literature."

=Brander Matthews says=:

    "The book is welcome to all students of the modern stage. It
    contains the fullest account of the activities of Antoine's Free
    Theater to be found anywhere--even in French."

=The Chicago Tribune says=:

    "Mr. Clark's translations, with their accurate and comprehensive
    prefaces, are necessary to anyone interested in modern drama....
    If the American reader will forget Yankee notions of morality ...
    if the reader will assume the French point of view, this book will
    prove a rarely valuable experience. Mr. Clark has done this
    important task excellently."

  _Handsomely Bound. 12mo. Cloth_      _Net_, $2.50
  _3/4 Turkey Morocco_                         8.50



_Contemporary French Dramatists_

  By BARRETT H. CLARK

_In "Contemporary French Dramatists" Mr. Barrett H. Clark, author of
"The Continental Drama of Today," "The British and American Drama of
Today," translator of "Four Plays of the Free Theater," and of various
plays of Donnay, Hervieu, Lemaitre, Sardou, Lavedan, etc., has
contributed the first collection of studies on the modern French
theater. Mr. Clark takes up the chief dramatists of France beginning
with the Théâtre Libre: Curel, Brieux, Hervieu, Lemaître, Lavedan,
Donnay, Porto-Riche, Rostand, Bataille, Bernstein, Capus, Flers, and
Caillavet. The book contains numerous quotations from the chief
representative plays of each dramatist, a separate chapter on
"Characteristics" and the most complete bibliography to be found
anywhere._

_This book gives a study of contemporary drama in France which has been
more neglected than any other European country._

=Independent, New York=:

    "Almost indispensable to the student of the theater."

=Boston Transcript=:

    "Mr. Clark's method of analyzing the works of the Playwrights
    selected is simple and helpful. * * * As a manual for reference or
    story, 'Contemporary French Dramatists,' with its added
    bibliographical material, will serve well its purpose."

_Uniform with FOUR PLAYS. Handsomely bound._

  _Cloth_                  _Net_, $2.50
  _3/4 Turkey Morocco_             8.50



_"European Dramatists"_

  By ARCHIBALD HENDERSON

  _Author of_ "George Bernard Shaw: His Life and Works."

_In the present work the famous dramatic critic and biographer of Shaw
has considered six representative dramatists outside of the United
States, some living, some dead--Strindberg, Ibsen, Maeterlinck, Wilde,
Shaw, Barker, and Schnitzler._

=Velma Swanston Howard says=:

    "Prof. Henderson's appraisal of Strindberg is certainly the
    fairest, kindest and most impersonal that I have yet seen. The
    author has that rare combination of intellectual power and
    spiritual insight which casts a clear, strong light upon all
    subjects under his treatment."

=Baltimore Evening Sun=:

    "Prof. Henderson's criticism is not only notable for its
    understanding and good sense, but also for the extraordinary
    range and accuracy of its information."

Jeanette L. Gilder, in the =Chicago Tribune=:

    "Henderson is a writer who throws new light on old subjects."

=Chicago Record Herald=:

    "His essays in interpretation are welcome. Mr. Henderson has a
    catholic spirit and writes without parochial prejudice--a thing
    deplorably rare among American critics of the present day. * * *
    One finds that one agrees with Mr. Henderson's main contentions
    and is eager to break a lance with him about minor points, which
    is only a way of saying that he is stimulating, that he strikes
    sparks. He knows his age thoroughly and lives in it with eager
    sympathy and understanding."

=Providence Journal=:

    "Henderson has done his work, within its obvious limitations, in
    an exceedingly competent manner. He has the happy faculty of
    making his biographical treatment interesting, combining the
    personal facts and a fairly clear and entertaining portrait of the
    individual with intelligent critical comment on his artistic
    work."

  _Photogravure frontispiece, handsomely printed and bound,
        large 12mo_                                         _Net_, $3.00



_The Changing Drama_

  By ARCHIBALD HENDERSON, M.A. Ph.D.

  _Author of_ "European Dramatists," "George Bernard Shaw--His Life
  and Work." Etc.

A vital book, popular in style, cosmopolitan in tone, appraising the
drama of the past sixty years, its changes, contributions and
tendencies. Has an expression of the larger realities of the art and
life of our time.

    =E. E. Hale= in _The Dial_: "One of the most widely read dramatic
    critics of our day; few know as well as he what is 'up' in the
    dramatic world, what are the currents of present-day thought, what
    people are thinking, dreaming, doing, or trying to do."

    =New York Times=: "Apt, happily allusive, finely informed essays
    on the dramatists of our own time--his essay style is vigorous and
    pleasing."

    =Book News Monthly=: "Shows clear understanding of the evolution
    of form and spirit, and the differentiation of the
    forces--spiritual, intellectual and social--which are making the
    theatre what it is today ... we can recollect no book of recent
    times which has such contemporaneousness, yet which regards the
    subject with such excellent perspective ... almost indispensable
    to the general student of drama ... a book of rich perspective and
    sound analysis. The style is simple and direct."

    =Geo. Middleton= in _La Follette's_: "The best attempt to
    formulate the tendencies which the drama is now taking in its
    evolutionary course."

    =Argonaut=: "Marked by insight, discernment and enthusiasm."

  _Large 12mo. Dignified binding_           _Net_, $2.50



GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

  _HIS LIFE AND WORKS_
  A Critical Biography (Authorized)

  BY
  ARCHIBALD HENDERSON, M.A., Ph.D.

With two plates in color (one, the frontispiece, from an autochrome
by Alvin Langdon Coburn, the other from a water color by Bernard
Partridge), two photogravures, 26 plates on art paper, and numerous
illustrations in the text.

In one volume, demy 8vo., cloth and gilt top, net $7.50.

This remarkable book, upon which the author has been at work for more
than six years, is the authentic biography of the great Irish dramatist
and socialist. In order to give it the authority which any true
biography of a living man must possess, Mr. Shaw has aided the author in
every possible way. The book is based not only on the voluminous mass of
Mr. Shaw's works, published, uncollected in book form or unpublished,
but also on extensive data furnished the author by Mr. Shaw in person.

A masterly and monumental volume, it is a history of Art, Music,
Literature, Drama, Sociology, Philosophy, and the general development of
the Ibsen-Nietzschean Movement in Morals for the last thirty years. The
Press are unanimous in their praise of this wonderful work.

Opinions of the work and its author.

    _The Bookman_: "A more entertaining narrative whether in biography
    or fiction has not appeared in recent years."

    _The Independent_: "Whatever George Bernard Shaw may think of his
    Biography the rest of the world will probably agree that Dr.
    Henderson has done a good job."

    _Boston Herald_: "This is probably the most informing and
    satisfactory biography of this very difficult man that has
    been written. A thoroughly painstaking work."

                                           #European Dramatists#



_Short Plays_

  By MARY MAC MILLAN

_To fill a long-felt want. All have been successfully presented.
Suitable for Women's Clubs, Girls' Schools, etc. While elaborate enough
for big presentation, they may be given very simply._

=Review of Reviews=:

    "Mary MacMillan offers 'SHORT PLAYS,' a collection of pleasant one
    to three-act plays for women's clubs, girls' schools, and home
    parlor production. Some are pure comedies, others gentle satires
    on women's faults and foibles. 'The Futurists,' a skit on a
    woman's club in the year 1882, is highly amusing. 'Entr' Act' is a
    charming trifle that brings two quarreling lovers together through
    a ridiculous private theatrical. 'The Ring' carries us gracefully
    back to the days of Shakespeare; and 'The Shadowed Star,' the best
    of the collection, is a Christmas Eve tragedy. The Star is
    shadowed by our thoughtless inhumanity to those who serve us and
    our forgetfulness of the needy. The Old Woman, gone daft, who
    babbles in a kind of mongrel Kiltartan, of the Shepherds, the
    Blessed Babe, of the Fairies, rowan berries, roses and dancing,
    while her daughter dies on Christmas Eve, is a splendid
    characterization."

=Boston Transcript=:

    "Those who consigned the writer of these plays to solitude and
    prison fare evidently knew that 'needs must' is a sharp stimulus
    to high powers. If we find humor, gay or rich, if we find
    brilliant wit; if we find constructive ability joined with
    dialogue which moves like an arrow; if we find delicate and keen
    characterization, with a touch of genius in the choice of names;
    if we find poetic power which moves on easy wing--the gentle
    jailers of the writer are justified, and the gentle reader thanks
    their severity."

=Salt Lake Tribune=:

    "The Plays are ten in number, all of goodly length. We prophesy
    great things for this gifted dramatist."

=Bookseller, News Dealer & Stationer=:

    "The dialogue is permeated with graceful satire, snatches of wit,
    picturesque phraseology, and tender, often exquisite, expressions
    of sentiment."

  _Handsomely Bound. 12mo. Cloth_        _Net_, $2.50



_More Short Plays_

  BY MARY MacMILLAN

Plays that act well may read well. Miss MacMillan's plays are good
reading. Nor is literary excellence a detriment to dramatic performance.
They were put on the stage before they were put into print. They differ
slightly from those in the former volume. Two of them, "The Pioneers," a
story of the settlement of the Ohio Valley, and "Honey," a little
mountain girl cotton-mill worker, are longer. The other six, "In
Mendelesia," Parts I and II, "The Dryad," "The Dress Rehearsal of
Hamlet," "At the Church," and "His Second Girl," contain the spirit of
humor, something of subtlety, and something of fantasy.

    =Brooklyn Daily Eagle=: "Mary MacMillan, whose first volume of
    short plays proved that she possessed unusual gifts as a
    dramatist, has justified the hopes of her friends in a second
    volume, 'More Short Plays,' which reveal the author as the
    possessor of a charming literary style coupled with a sure
    dramatic sense that never leads her idea astray.... In them all
    the reader will find a rich and delicate charm, a bountiful
    endowment of humor and wit, a penetrating knowledge of human
    nature, and a deft touch in the drawing of character. They are
    delicately and sympathetically done and their literary charm is
    undeniable."

  _Uniform with "Short Plays"_      _Net_, $2.50



_Comedies of Words and Other Plays_

  BY ARTHUR SCHNITZLER

  TRANSLATED BY PIERRE LOVING

                   {"=The Hour of Recognition="
                   {"=Great Scenes="
  The contents are {"=The Festival of Bacchus="
                   {"=His Helpmate="
                   {"=Literature=."

In his "Comedies of Words," Arthur Schnitzler, the great Austrian
Dramatist, has penetrated to newer and profounder regions of human
psychology. According to Schnitzler, the keenly compelling problems of
earth are: the adjustment of a man to one woman, a woman to one man, the
children to their parents, the artist to life, the individual to his
most cherished beliefs, and how can we accomplish this adjustment when,
try as we please, there is a destiny which sweeps our little plans away
like helpless chessmen from the board? Since the creation of Anatol,
that delightful toy philosopher, so popular in almost every theater of
the world, the great Physician-Dramatist has pushed on both as
World-Dramatist and reconnoiterer beyond the misty frontiers of man's
conscious existence. He has attempted in an artistic way to get beneath
what Freud calls the "Psychic Censor" which edits all our suppressed
desires. Reading Schnitzler is like going to school to Life itself!

  _Bound uniform with the S & K Dramatic Series_,      _Net_ $2.50



_The Provincetown Plays_

  EDITED BY
  GEORGE CRAM COOK AND FRANK SHAY

  THE CONTENTS ARE:

    Alice Rostetter's comedy                    THE WIDOW'S VEIL
    James Oppenheim's poetic                    NIGHT
    George Cram Cook's and Susan Glaspell's     SUPPRESSED DESIRES
    Eugene O'Neill's play                       BOUND EAST FOR CARDIFF
    Edna St. Vincent Millay's                   ARIA DE CAPO
    Rita Wellman's                              STRING OF THE SAMISEN
    Wilbur D. Steele's satire                   NOT SMART
    Floyd Dell's comedy                         THE ANGEL INTRUDES
    Hutchin Hapgood's and Neith Boyce's play    ENEMIES
    Pendleton King's                            COCAINE

Every author, with one exception, has a book or more to his credit.
Several are at the top of their profession.

Rita Wellman, a Saturday Evening Post star, has had two or three plays
on Broadway, and has a new novel, THE WINGS OF DESIRE.

Cook and Glaspell are well known--he for his novels and Miss Glaspell
for novels and plays.

E. Millay is one of America's best minor poets. Steele, according to
O'Brien, is America's best short-story writer.

Oppenheim has over a dozen novels, books of poems and essays to his
credit.

O'Neill has a play on Broadway now, BEYOND THE HORIZON.

Hutch, Hapgood is author of the STORY OF A LOVER, published by Boni and
Liveright anonymously.

  _8vo. Silk Cloth, Gilt Top_      _Net_ $3.00



Portmanteau Plays

  BY STUART WALKER
  Edited and with an Introduction by EDWARD HALE BIERSTADT

This volume contains four One Act Plays by the inventor and director of
the Portmanteau Theater. They are all included in the regular repertory
of the Theater and the four contained in this volume comprise in
themselves an evening's bill.

There is also an Introduction by Edward Hale Bierstadt on the
Portmanteau Theater in theory and practice.

The book is illustrated by pictures taken from actual presentations of
the plays.

The first play, the "=Trimplet=", deals with the search for a certain
magic thing called a trimplet which can cure all the ills of whoever
finds it. The search and the finding constitute the action of the piece.

Second play, "=Six who Pass While the Lentils Boil=", is perhaps the
most popular in Mr. Walker's repertory. The story is of a Queen who,
having stepped on the ring-toe of the King's great-aunt, is condemned to
die before the clock strikes twelve. The Six who pass the pot in which
boil the lentils are on their way to the execution.

Next comes "=Nevertheless=", which tells of a burglar who oddly enough
reaches regeneration through two children and a dictionary.

And last of all is the "=Medicine-Show=", which is a character study
situated on the banks of the Mississippi. One does not see either the
Show or the Mississippi, but the characters are so all sufficient that
one does not miss the others.

All of these plays are fanciful--symbolic if you like--but all of them
have a very distinct raison d'être in themselves, quite apart from any
ulterior meaning.

With Mr. Walker it is always "the story first," and herein he is at one
with Lord Dunsany and others of his ilk. The plays have body, force, and
beauty always; and if the reader desires to read in anything else surely
that is his privilege.

Each play, and even the Theater itself has a prologue, and with the help
of these one is enabled to pass from one charming tale to the next
without a break in the continuity.

  _With five full-page illustrations on cameo paper._
        _12mo. Silk cloth_                                   $2.50



_More Portmanteau Plays_

  BY STUART WALKER
  Edited and with an Introduction by EDWARD HALE BIERSTADT

The thorough success of the volume entitled "=Portmanteau Plays=" has
encouraged the publication of a second series under the title "=More
Portmanteau Plays=". This continuation carries on the work begun in the
first book, and contains "=The Lady of the Weeping Willow Tree=", one of
the finest and most effective pieces Stuart Walker has presented under
his own name; "=The Very Naked Boy=", a slight, whimsical, and wholly
delightful bit of foolery; "=Jonathan Makes a Wish=", a truly strong
three-act work with an appeal of unusual vigor.

  _With Six full page illustrations on Cameo Paper._
        _12mo. Silk cloth_                                   $2.00



TO BE PUBLISHED IN 1920

_Portmanteau Adaptations_

  BY STUART WALKER
  Edited and with an Introduction by EDWARD HALE BIERSTADT

The third volume of the Portmanteau Series includes three of Stuart
Walker's most successful plays which are either adapted from or based on
works by other authors. The first is the ever wonderful "=Gammer
Gurton's Needle=", written some hundreds of years ago and now arranged
for the use of the modern theater goer. Next comes, "=The Birthday of
the Infanta=" from the poignant story of Oscar Wilde (used also by
Alfred Noyes in one of his most effective poems), and last of all the
widely popular "=Seventeen=" from the story of the same name by Booth
Tarkington.

  _12mo. Silk cloth_          _Net_, $2.50


       *       *       *       *       *




TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES:


1. Passages in italics are surrounded by _underscores_.

2. Passages in bold are indicated by =bold=.

3. Misprints in character names have been silently corrected.

4. Punctuation has been normalized for the stage directions and the play
listings in the Bibliography.

5. The following misprints have been corrected:
    "Is sounds as if" corrected to "It sounds as if" (page 31)
    "What should be" corrected to "What should we" (page 35)
    "Don't call be" corrected to "Don't call me" (page 60)
    "I don't now what!" corrected to "I don't know what!" (page 66)
    "want to see her" corrected to "went to see her" (page 66)
    "widly" corrected to "wildly" (page 72)
    "horried" corrected to "horrid" (page 96)
    "slindly" corrected to "blindly" (page 109)
    "accept" corrected to "accent" (page 121)
    "right. don't say" corrected to "right. I don't say" (page 162)
    "J. H. SPEENHOFF" corrected to "ST. JOHN HANKIN" (page 157)
    "SENE" corrected to "SCENE" (page 167)
    "stobbing" corrected to "stabbing" (page 179)
    "doube" corrected to "doubt" (page 204)
    "pursuade" corrected to "persuade" (page 209)
    "dring" corrected to "drink" (page 231)
    "sits on the soft." corrected to "sits on the sofa." (page 268)
    "lazzily" corrected to "lazily" (page 347)
    "rearlize" corrected to "realize" (page 347)
    "I sounds like" corrected to "It sounds like" (page 357)
    "come into see" corrected to "come in to see" (page 364)
    "ot do the decent" corrected to "to do the decent" (page 388)
    "For heaven't sake" corrected to "For heaven's sake" (page 388)
    "snuff-pox" corrected to "snuff-box" (page 400)
    "just bet me are" corrected to "just bet we are" (page 428)
    "ecstastically" corrected to "ecstatically" (page 428)
    "crépe" corrected to "crepe" (page 436)
    "paper ribbins." corrected to "paper ribbons." (page 437)
    "rupturously" corrected to "rapturously" (page 451)
    "palid" corrected to "pallid" (page 457)
    "the the" corrected to "the" (page 459)
    "port-hale" corrected to "porthole" (page 470)
    "fierecly" corrected to "fiercely" (page 473)
    "They why did" corrected to "Then why did" (page 525)
    "Wilwaukee" corrected to "Milwaukee" (page 530)
    "a few bille" corrected to "a few bills" (page 531)
    "if marriage," corrected to "of marriage," (page 547)
    "TREMENDOUR" corrected to "TREMENDOUS" (page 565)
    "Pheobe" corrected to "Phoebe" (page 568)
    "VON HOFFMANSTHALL" corrected to "VON HOFMANNSTHAL" (page 568)
    "The Legacy. 3 4m" corrected to "The Legacy. c 4m" (page 572)
    "MATUSO." corrected to "MATSUO." (page 572)
    "SHAKERPEARE'S" corrected to "SHAKESPEARE'S" (page 579)
    "volumn" corrected to "volume" (pages 561, 564, 565, 573)

6. Other than the corrections listed above, printer's inconsistencies
in spelling, punctuation, hyphenation, and ligature usage have been
retained.







End of Project Gutenberg's Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays, by Various