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[Transcriber's Note: Every effort has been made to replicate this text
as faithfully as possible, including obsolete and variant spellings and
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error is noted at the end of this ebook.

This reprinted by D. A. Talboys, Oxford, 1841.]




SECOND

THOUGHTS ARE BEST:

OR A

FURTHER IMPROVEMENT

Of a Late

SCHEME

TO PREVENT

_STREET ROBBERIES_:

BY WHICH

Our Streets will be strongly guarded, and so gloriously illuminated,
that any part of London will be as safe and pleasant at Midnight as at
Noonday; and Burglary totally impracticable:

With

_Some Thoughts for suppressing Robberies in all the Public Roads of
England, &c._

Humbly

Offered for the Good of his Country, submitted to the Consideration of
the Parliament, and dedicated to his sacred Majesty King GEORGE II.



By ANDREW MORETON, Esq.



_LONDON._


Printed for W. MEADOWS, at the _Angel_ in _Cornhill_; and sold by J.
ROBERTS, in _Warwick-Lane_. 1729. [_Price Six Pence._




TO THE

KING'S

Most Excellent

MAJESTY,

SACRED AND MOST AUGUST!


Permit a loyal subject, in the sincerity of his heart, to press through
the crowds of courtiers who surround your royal person, and lay his
little mite, humbly offered for the public welfare, at your majesty's
feet.

Happy is it for me, as well as the whole kingdom, we have a king of such
humanity and affability; a king naturalized to us, a king who loves us,
a king in whose person as well as mind, the whole hero appears: the king
of our hearts; the king of our wishes!

Those who are dissatisfied with such a monarch, deserve to be abandoned
of God, and have the devil sent to reign over them. Yet such there are,
(pity they should wear human forms, or breathe the free air of Britain!)
who are so scandalously fickle, that if God himself was to reign, they
would yearn after their darling monarch the prince of darkness.

These are they who fly in the face of majesty, who so abuse the liberty
of the press, that from a benefit it becomes an evil, and demands
immediate regulation.

Not against your majesty only, but against many of your loyal subjects,
are arrows shot in the dark, by lurking villains who wound the
reputations of the innocent in sport. Our public newspapers, which ought
to contain nothing but what is instructive and communicative, being now
become public nuisances, vehicles of personal, private slander, and
scandalous pasquins.

Let the glory be yours, most gracious sovereign! to suppress this
growing evil; and if any hints from your most faithful subject can be of
the least use, I live but to serve, to admire, and pray for your
majesty.

               Who am,
        Most gracious Sovereign,
            Your Majesty's
  Most loyal, most dutiful, most obedient
                 subject and servant,

                             ANDREW MORETON.




THE PREFACE.


Nothing is more easy than to discover a thing already found out. This is
verified in me and that anonymous gentleman, whom the public prints have
lately complimented with a Discovery to Prevent Street Robberies;
though, by the by, we have only his vain _ipse dixit_, and the
ostentatious outcry of venal newswriters in his behalf.

But to strip him of his borrowed plumes, these are to remind the public,
that about six months ago, in a treatise, entituled, Augusta Triumphans:
or, the Way to make London the most flourishing City in the Universe, I
laid down a plain and practicable scheme for the total suppression and
prevention of street robberies, which scheme has been approved of by
several learned and judicious persons.

Oh! but say the advocates of this second-hand schemist, our project is
to be laid before the parliament. Does that make his better, or mine
worse? Have not many silly projects been laid before parliaments ere
now? Admit it be not the same (as I have but too much reason to fear it
is,) cannot the members of both houses read print as well as written
hand? Or does he think they are so prejudiced to dislike a thing the
worse for being offered without view of gain? I trust Andrew Moreton's
scheme, generously offered for the public good, will meet with as fair a
reception as that of this hireling projector.

Mine is already published; let him generously follow my example, and no
doubt, if his scheme be preferred, the government will reward him.

If my antagonist be necessitous, where is the merit? he does it for his
own sake, not for the public. If he be not necessitous, what a sordid
wretch is he to withhold his scheme for lucre? putting it up at public
sale; so that if you do not give him his price you shall not have it.

Some people, indeed, are so fond of mysteries they run down everything
that is plain and intelligible; they love darkness, whispers, and
freemasonry, despising whatever comes in the shape of a pamphlet, be it
never so useful or commendable. But in spite of prejudice, truth is the
standard by which I hope all honest and impartial men will judge me.

Though I must confess I am not a little piqued to be jockeyed out of my
labours, yet not to be behindhand with my gentleman in the clouds, who
would have the parliament buy his pig in a poke, and build up his
fortune at my expense, I have so amply enlarged and amended my scheme,
that it is now scarce like the same. I have taken in everything
possible of comprehension or practice; nor have I left him room to edge
in one single hint. I have debated the objections of divers wise and
learned men, and corrected my project accordingly; so that, on
comparison, my first thoughts will appear but as a rude and imperfect
sketch, only valuable in that it gave the idea of this more laboured and
finished performance, on which I pledge my whole reputation, being ready
to stand or fall by its success.

In order to which, I have presented copies of this book to the king and
queen's most excellent majesties, to several of the lords spiritual, and
divers honourable and worthy members of both houses, and time must show
whose scheme shall have the precedence.

In the mean time I stand prepared for the sneers of those who despise
everything and everybody but their own dear selves, as also the
objections of the puzzle causes, who will turry-lugg a thing out of all
sense and meaning, and by the cloudiness of their explanations darken
what is most plain and obvious. My business is to go straight forward,
and let the end crown the work. If men of sense approve me, I need not
value the laughter of fools, whose very approbation is scandal; for if a
thinking man is to be laughed out of every good intention or invention,
nothing will ever be done for the public good.




SECOND THOUGHTS, &c.


The principal encouragement and opportunity given to our street robbers
is, that our streets are so poorly watched; the watchmen, for the most
part, being decrepit, superannuated wretches, with one foot in the grave
and the other ready to follow; so feeble that a puff of breath can blow
them down. Poor crazy mortals! much fitter for an almshouse than a
watchhouse. A city watched and guarded by such animals is wretchedly
watched indeed.

Nay, so little terror do they carry with them, that hardy thieves make a
mere jest of them, and oftentimes oblige even the very watchman who
should apprehend, to light them in their roguery. And what can a poor
creature do, in terror of his life, surrounded by a pack of ruffians,
and no assistance near?

Add to this, that our rogues are grown more wicked than ever, and vice
in all kinds is so much winked at, that robbery is accounted a petty
crime. We take pains to puff them up in their villany, and thieves are
set out in so amiable a light in the Beggar's Opera, it has taught them
to value themselves on their profession rather than to be ashamed of it.

There was some cessation of street robberies, from the time of Bunworth
and Blewitt's execution, until the introduction of this pious opera. Now
we find the Cartouchian villanies revived, and London, that used to be
the most safe and peaceful city in the universe, is now become a scene
of rapine and danger. If some of Cartouch's gang be not come over hither
to instruct our thieves, we have, doubtless, a Cartouch of our own, and
a gang which, if not suppressed, may be full as pernicious as was ever
Cartouch's, and London may be as dangerous as Paris, if due care be not
taken.

Not content with the mischief done by the Beggar's Opera, we must have a
Quaker's Opera, forsooth, of much more evil tendency than the former;
for in this Jack Shepherd is made the hero of the drama, and runs
through such a scene of riot and success, that but too many weak minds
have been drawn away, and many unwary persons so charmed with his
appearance on the stage, dressed in that elegant manner, and his pockets
so well lined, they have forthwith commenced street-robbers or
housebreakers; so that every idle fellow, weary of honest labour, need
but fancy himself a Macheath or a Shepherd, and there is a rogue made at
once. Since, therefore, example, has such force, the stage ought to be
reformed, and nothing exhibited but what might be represented before a
bishop. They may be merry and wise: let them take the Provoked Husband
for a pattern.

A good physician seeks the cause, and weighs the symptoms before he
proceeds to prescribe; and if we trace this evil from its radix, we
shall find a cause antecedent to the two operas aforesaid: namely,
accursed Geneva, the bane and ruin of our lower class of people.

Those who deny an inferior class of people to be necessary in a body
politic, contradict reason and experience itself; since they are most
useful when industrious, and equally pernicious when lazy. By their
industry our manufactures, trade, and commerce, are carried on. The
merchant in his counting-house, and the captain in his cabin, would find
but little employment, were it not that many hands carried on the
different branches of the concerns they superintended.

But now so far are our common people infatuated with Geneva, that half
the work is not done now as formerly. It debilitates and enervates them,
nor are they near so strong and healthy as formerly.

So that if this abuse of Geneva be not stopped, we may go whoop for
husbandmen, labourers, &c.; trade must consequently stand still, and the
credit of the nation sink. Nor is the abatement of the excise, though
very considerable, and most worthy notice, any ways comparable to the
corruption of manners, destruction of health, and all the train of evils
we are threatened with from pernicious Geneva.

We will suppose a man able to maintain himself and family by his trade,
and at the same time to be a Geneva drinker. This fellow first makes
himself incapable of working by being continually drunk; which runs him
behindhand, so that he either pawns, or neglects his work, for which
reason nobody will employ him. At last, fear of arrests, his own hunger,
the cries of a family for bread, his natural desire to support an
irregular life, and a propense hatred to labour, turn but too many an
honest tradesman into an arrant desperate rogue. And these are commonly
the means that furnish us with thieves and villains in general.

Thus is a man, who might be useful in a body politic, rendered obnoxious
to the same: so that if this trade of wickedness goes on, they will
increase upon us so much that we shall not dare to stir out of our
habitations; nay, it will be well if they arrive not to the impudence of
plundering our houses at noonday.

Where is the courage of the English nation, that a gentleman, with six
or seven servants, shall be robbed by one single highwayman? Yet we have
lately had instances of this; and for this we may thank our effeminacy,
our toupee wigs, and powdered pates, our tea, and other scandalous
fopperies; and, above all, the disuse of noble and manly sports, so
necessary to a brave people, once in vogue, but now totally lost amongst
us.

Let not the reader think I run from my subject if I search the bottom of
the distemper before I propose a cure, which having done, though indeed
but slightly, for this is an argument could be carried to a much greater
length, I proceed to the purpose in manner following:--

Let the watch be composed of stout able-bodied men, and of those a
sufficient number, that is to say, a watchman to every forty houses,
twenty on one side of the way, and twenty on the other; for it is
observable that a man cannot well see distinctly beyond the extent of
twenty houses in a row; if it is a single row, and no opposite houses,
the charge must be greater, or their safety less.

This man should be elected and paid by the housekeepers themselves, to
prevent misapplication and abuse, so much complained of in the
distribution of the public money.

He should be allowed ten shillings per annum by each housekeeper, which
at forty houses, as above specified, amounts to 20_l._ per annum, almost
treble to what is at present allowed; and yet most housekeepers are
charged at least 2s. 6d. a quarter to the watch, whose beat is,
generally speaking, little less than the compass of half a mile.

What a shame it is that at least 100_l._ should be collected in some
beats, and the poor watchman should not have the one-tenth part of the
money? And this I leave to the consideration of any housekeeper who will
take the pains to inquire into the extent of a watchman's beat, and
after that cast up what is collected in the said beat, as they say for
the watch. But this is a small abuse in comparison of other parochial
misapplications, for a proof of which I refer my reader to a treatise of
mine, entituled, Parochial Tyranny.

This salary of 20_l._ per annum is something of encouragement, and a
pretty settlement for a poor man, who with frugality may live decently
thereon, and by due rest be enabled to give due and vigilant attendance;
that is to say, from evening dusk to morning light.

If a housekeeper break, or a house is empty, the poor watchman ought not
to suffer, the deficiency should be made up by the housekeepers
remaining.

The watch thus stationed, strengthened, and encouraged, let every
watchman be armed with firearms and sword; and let no watchman stand
above twenty doors distant from his fellow.

This has already been put in practice in the parish of St. Giles's in
the Fields, and has had so good an effect that it is hoped other
parishes will follow their example, which redounds not a little to the
credit of our project.

Let each watchman be provided with a horn, to sound an alarm, or in time
of danger; and let it be made penal, if not felony, for any but a
watchman to sound a horn in and about the city, from the time of their
going on, to that of their going off.

I know an objection will be here made on account of the postboys, to
obviate which, I had thoughts of a bell, but that would be too ponderous
and troublesome for a watchman to carry, besides his arms and lantern;
whereas a horn is portable, always ready, and most alarming.

Let the postboys therefore use some other signal, since this is most
convenient to this more material purpose. They may carry a bell in a
holster with ease, and give notice by that, as well as those who collect
the letters.

That the watchmen may see from one end of their walks to the other, let
a convenient number of lamps be set up, and those not of the convex
kind, which blind the eyes, and are of no manner of use; they dazzle,
but give no distinct light, and further, rather than prevent robberies.
Many persons, deceived and blinded by these _ignes fatui_, have been run
over by coaches, carts, &c., people stumbling more, even under these
very lamps, than in the dark. In short, they are most unprofitable
lights, and, in my opinion, rather abuses than benefits.

Besides, I see no reason why every ten housekeepers cannot find a lamp
among themselves, which would be four lamps in a beat, and let their
watchman dress it, rather than fatten a crew of directors.

But we are so fond of companies, it is a wonder we have not our shoes
blacked by one, and a set of directors made rich at the expense of our
very black-guards.

The watch ought to be in view, as well as in the hearing of each other,
or they may be overpowered, and much danger may happen.

The streets being thus gloriously illuminated, and so strongly guarded
by stout and able fellows, well armed and well paid, all within the view
of one another, proceed we to secure all by-turnings, courts, alleys,
lanes, &c., which may favour a street-robber's escape, and make our
project ineffectual.

A street, court, lane, alley, or other place, where the number of houses
or poverty of the inhabitants will not afford a watchman on the terms
before mentioned, should be gated in, and the inhabitants let in and out
by the watchman of the street.

Where there are even but twelve houses in a court, and the inhabitants
people of credit, they may have a separate watch to themselves, as is
practised in Boswell-court by Lincoln's-inn-fields, Angel-court in
Throckmorton-street, and many other places in London.

This I think an unexceptionable way to secure the cities and suburbs of
London and Westminster. The only difficulty I can conceive is, that
persons after dark may now and then go a little way round about by
keeping the street way, but the pleasantness and safety occasioned by
the lights and watch aforesaid, make ample amends. Let those go through
byways, and in the dark, whose deeds are so; I am for providing security
for honest men, and obstacle for rogues.

And now we have put a stop to their roguery, let us endeavour to
suppress the rogues themselves; in order to which I shall begin with
their harlots, who are, generally speaking, the first motives to their
villany, and egg them on to all manner of mischief.

And these are generally servant wenches, who stroll from place to place,
and at last, weary of working, throw themselves on the public. To
maintain these creatures, many a man turns rogue. It behoves the
government, therefore, to oblige all young wenches to keep in service.
Masters and mistresses ought likewise to see that servants of both sexes
go not a rambling when sent to church, but that they keep good hours;
for many have been ruined by junketing and staying out, instead of being
at church or at home.

Our common women ought to be restrained in the liberties they have
lately taken; they openly swear and talk so obscenely, it is a shame to
a Christian country.

Having fully handled this topic in two treatises, viz., Everybody's
Business is Nobody's Business, and Parochial Tyranny, I shall not tire
my readers with repetition, but referring them to the treatises
themselves, return to my subject, which is,--

After we have reformed the ladies, let us take their sparks in hand. And
first, let all shoe-cleaners, I mean boys and sturdy vagrants, be
suppressed, according to my scheme in Everybody's Business, &c.; as for
link-boys, alias thieves with lights, there will be no need of them when
the streets are illuminated, according to my project.

That sailors as well as soldiers may not give cause of suspicion, it is
fit they should also be quartered after the same nature; and more to
enforce it, surveyors of quarters should have rounds allotted them.

These surveyors should call at the quarters of every soldier or sailor
at a limited hour, to see if they are there or no, and register them at
home or absent accordingly; absence to be penal.

Every soldier or sailor leaving his quarters till morning, after he has
been found at home and registered, should be punished.

I must be excused if I ward every obstacle, my design being to break up
street-robbers, nest and egg.

And that thieves may not stroll about, under pretence of being destitute
of lodging, barracks or barns should be built at convenient ends of the
town, where all vagrants should be obliged to render themselves at a
stated hour, where they should have clean straw allowed them, and be
kept orderly and out of harm's way; they may be let loose if they have
apparent means of honest livelihood, otherwise they should be sent to
the workhouse of their respective parish, or to a general workhouse, of
which there is great need; and of which more hereafter.

All publichouses and gin-shops, if they should be tolerated, should be
shut up at ten.

If the government should think fit to tolerate gin-shops, I see no
reason why they may not be subject to licenses, and come into the
pot-act as well as alehouses; especially considering there is as much
gin as ale consumed nowadays.

Night houses and cellars, above all, should be totally suppressed; these
are the harbours and refuge of villains and strumpets; these are their
houses of call where there hellish trade is carried on; it is here they
wait for the signal of their scouts; here they cast their schemes, and
bring in advices; here they encourage and initiate young thieves; here
they barter and sell their stolen goods; these are their exchanges and
asylums after mischief.

Hackney coach drivers next require our care; they are the scum of the
people, and, generally speaking, the worst of rogues.

So many and such frequent robberies can never be committed without the
connivance of these villains; and it is but too much to be feared, that
at the same time they take up a fare they take up a robber, who is ready
to mark his prey, and gets up either on the box or behind; and alights
at a convenient place to perpetrate his hellish design. As for a 'snack
of the coal' as they term it, no doubt but the coachman and he have
proper understanding and rendezvous.

Many who go to the coach-office nowadays, may be mistaken in their hopes
of redress, not but the commissioners to a man treat complainants with
the utmost civility; but the penalty, which used to be on the renter,
being now on the driver, the renter or owner of that figure is clear,
and the driver has nothing to do but to be absent and laugh at the
complainant, an instance of which take in the following case:--

A hackney coachman took eighteenpence of a gentleman for a twelvepenny
fare; the gentleman took his number and complained; the driver appeared,
and was fined fifteen shillings, but the renter escaped; what was the
result? The driver absconded, the gentleman sits down at his loss of
attendance and money; had robbery or assault been the complaint, the
consequence had been the same, the gentleman is but where he was. He has
since called several times at the office, but to no purpose; all the
answer he can get is, the fellow cannot be found. I write this therefore
to undeceive those persons, who think when they have taken the number of
a coach they can punish the driver for insolence or extortion.

The law in this case ought to be turned into its old channel, that is to
say, the owner of the figure should be answerable; he ought to employ a
driver he can answer for, or drive himself.

Every renter therefore should be obliged to register, and respond for
his driver; or commissioners, figures, and all other forms, are to
little purpose.

Beggars should next be suppressed, who lounge about all day, to see
where they can steal at night. It is a shame we should suffer real
objects of charity to beg; and for those who are not so, it is a shame
but they should work.

I shall close all with these observations:--

That the extortions and cabals of tradesmen, by enhancing the prices of
provisions, is most detrimental to a state, and worthy the notice of its
legislature; for men not being able to support their families by honest
labour, and being made beggars by reason of the dearness of provisions,
ofttimes grow desperate and turn rogues. This assertion is but too true,
to prove which I appeal to the late conduct of

  The coal merchants,
  The bakers,
  The butchers,
  And, above all, the tallow chandlers.

The cabals of coal traders have for many years jockeyed us in the price
of coals; they have raised and fell them at pleasure, and made mere
stockjobbing work of it; but never so much as in his late majesty's
reign; on a great impress for seamen, they, in less than a fortnight,
raised the price of coals from twenty-three shillings to almost fifty.
What a pinch must this be on the poor, who live only from hand to mouth,
and buy their coals, poor souls! some by the half peck.

The bakers are yet more flagrant and vile; they turn plenty to famine,
and push up the price of bread without rule or reason; they have already
been detected in one bite, i.e., procuring some of the fraternity to buy
a small quantity of corn much above the market price, and then, by
making oath thereof, abuse a well-intended law, and raise the price of
bread accordingly.

Thus are the poor ground to dust, in order to fatten a pack of misers,
who know no mercy. But I hope the government will make them honest,
even against their will.

The butchers are now so extravagant in their way of living, that usual
and moderate profit will not content them; they cannot drink malt
liquor, and the poor must pay for the wine, which they swill down at an
unmerciful rate.

The price of meat should therefore be regulated according to the price
of cattle, but not according to the baker's rule afore mentioned.

But as for the tallow-chandlers, their oppressions call aloud for
redress. To what an exorbitant pitch have they raised candles; just
double what it was some years ago: nay, they threaten to have them at
tenpence per pound. How can the poor work when candles are so dear? But
we may thank our own luxury for these impositions. I see no reason why
we should not humble these upstarts by making our own candles; aye, and
our own bread too, as our forefathers have done before us.

The tallow-chandlers, to excuse themselves, lay the fault on the
melters. The melters shift it from themselves to the butchers; and so
the game goes round.

Oh but, say they, the government will lose part of its revenue: to which
I answer, that rather than they shall raise candles to double their
value, on pretence of paying a penny per pound excise; in case the
parliament will take off the duty on candles for the ease of the poor, I
will present them with a project gratis, which shall bring in almost
double the money now levied by candles, and that without the least
hardship on the subject.

Having, I hope, taken sufficient care of street-robbers, I proceed now
to clear the roads from highwaymen, footpads, &c.

Let parties of horse be stationed at all the outgoings from the city of
London; so that if a coach, wagon, &c., want a convoy, two, three, or
more may be detached by the commanding officer; these shall be
registered, and answerable for their charge; and for encouragement shall
receive so much per mile, or in the whole, convoy money.

This may be likewise practised from town to town all over England, so
that the roads will be as safe as the streets; and they who scruple the
trifle of convoy money above proposed, merit not safety.

For those who walk on foot to the adjacent villages, parties of foot may
be stationed in like manner; so that not only the subject will be free
from danger, but the soldier employed and prevented from corrupt
measures by this additional perquisite to his pay.

Nothing remains but that robbers be prosecuted at the public charge; the
trials fixed to respective days, that prosecutors may not lose so much
time, and the rewards paid in court without deduction or delay; nor
should any robber be admitted an evidence after he is taken, or pardoned
after conviction.

       *       *       *       *       *


[Transcriber's Note:

The transcriber made this change to the text to correct an obvious
error:

  1. p. 12,
       a watchman to every forty houses, twenty on
       it one side of the way, and twenty on the other; for
       is observable that a man cannot well see distinctly
       beyond the extent of twenty houses in a row;

       -->

       a watchman to every forty houses, twenty on
       one side of the way, and twenty on the other; for
       it is observable that a man cannot well see distinctly
       beyond the extent of twenty houses in a row;

End of Transcriber's Notes]