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  [Illustration]




  AN =A=LPHA=B=ET
  OF =C=ELEBRITIES

  Oliver Herford




  BOSTON
  SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY
  =1899=


  COPYRIGHT 1899 BY
  =SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY=
  =(INCORPORATED)=
  ENTERED AT STATIONERS' HALL


  =THE HEINTZEMANN PRESS=
  BOSTON U.S.A.


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  |Transcriber's note:                                           |
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  |In this text = has been used to indicate text coloured orange.|
  +--------------------------------------------------------------+


  An Alphabet
  of Celebrities




  =A='s =A=lbert Edward, well meaning but flighty,
  Who invited King =A=rthur, the blameless and mighty,
  To meet =A=lcibiades and =A=phrodite.

  [Illustration]

  =B= is for =B=ernhardt, who fails to awaken
  Much feeling in =B=ismarck, =B=arabbas, and =B=acon.

  [Illustration]

  =C= is =C=olumbus, who tries to explain
  How to balance an egg--to the utter disdain
  Of =C=onfucius, =C=arlyle, =C=leopatra, and =C=ain.

  [Illustration]

  =D='s for =D=iogenes, =D=arwin, and =D=ante,
  Who delight in the dance Of a =D=arling Bacchante.

  [Illustration]

  =E= is for =E=dison, making believe
  He's invented a clever contrivance for =E=ve,
  Who complained that she never could laugh in her sleeve.
  [Illustration]

  =F= is for =F=ranklin, who fearfully shocks
  The feelings of =F=enelon, =F=aber, and =F=ox.

  [Illustration]

  =G= is =G=odiva, whose great bareback feat
  She kindly but firmly declines to repeat,
  Though =G=ounod and =G=oldsmith implore and entreat.

  [Illustration]

  =H= is for =H=andel, who pours out his soul
  Through the bagpipes to =H=owells and =H=omer, who roll
  On the floor in an ecstasy past all control.

  [Illustration]

  =I= is for =I=bsen, reciting a play
  While =I=rving and =I=ngersoll hasten away.

  [Illustration]

  =J= is for =J=ohnson, who only says "Pish!"
  To =J=onah, who tells him his tale of a fish.

  [Illustration]

  =K= is the =K=aiser, who kindly repeats
  Some original verses to =K=ipling and =K=eats.

  [Illustration]

  =L= is =L=afontaine, who finds he's unable
  To interest =L=uther and =L=iszt in his fable,
  While =L=oie continues to dance on the table.

  [Illustration]

  =M= is =M=acduff, who's prevailed upon =M=ilton
  And =M=ontaigne and =M=anon to each try a kilt on.

  [Illustration]

  =N= is =N=apoleon, shrouded in gloom,
  With =N=ero, =N=arcissus, and =N=ordau, to whom
  He's explaining the manual of arms with a broom.

  [Illustration]

  =O= is for =O=liver, casting aspersion
  On =O=mar, that awfully dissolute Persian,
  Though secretly longing to join the diversion.

  [Illustration]

  =P= is for =P=eter, who hollers "No! No!"
  Through the keyhole to =P=aine, =P=aderewski, and =P=oe.

  [Illustration]

  =Q= is the =Q=ueen, so noble and free--
  _For further particulars look under V._

  [Illustration]

  =R='s =R=ubenstein, playing that old thing in F
  To =R=ollo and =R=embrandt, who wish they were deaf.

  [Illustration]

  =S= is for =S=winburne, who, seeking the true, the good, and the beautiful, visits the Zoo,
  Where he chances on =S=appho and Mr. =S=ardou,
  And =S=ocrates, all with the same end in view.

  [Illustration]

  =T= is for =T=alleyrand toasting Miss =T=ruth,
  By the side of her well, in a glass of vermouth,
  And presenting Mark =T=wain as the friend of his youth.

  [Illustration]

  =U= is for =U=ndine, pursuing =U=lysses
  And =U=mberto, who flee her damp, death-dealing kisses.

  [Illustration]

  =V= is =V=ictoria, noble and true--
  _For further particulars look under Q._

  [Illustration]

  =W='s =W=agner, who sang and played lots for =W=ashington, =W=esley, and good Doctor =W=atts.
  His prurient plots pained =W=esley and =W=atts,
  But =W=ashington said he "enjoyed them in spots."

  [Illustration]

  =X= is =X=antippe, who's having her say,
  And frightening the army of =X=erxes away.

  [Illustration]

  =Y= is for =Y=oung, the great Mormon saint,
  Who thinks little =Y=um =Y=um and =Y=vette so quaint,
  He has to be instantly held in restraint.

  [Illustration]

  =Z= is for =Z=ola, presenting _La Terre_
  To =Z=enobia the brave and =Z=uleika the fair,
  Whose blushes they artfully conceal with their hair.

  [Illustration]


    This =Alphabet of Celebrities= written & pictured by Oliver
    Herford with a border & initial letters by Bertram Grosvenor Goodhue
    and end papers & cover design by E. B. Bird is printed for Small
    Maynard & Company at the Heintzemann Press in Boston U. S. A. in the
    month of November =MDCCCXCIX=

  [Illustration]

  [Illustration]





End of Project Gutenberg's An Alphabet of Celebrities, by Oliver Herford