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[Transcriber's note: The original text has no page
numbers. Page breaks have been marked with double
lines || like this. Three apparent typographic errors
were corrected and are listed at the end of this
text. All other spelling and punctuation are as in
the original.]

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                [C]Two dyaloges
                wrytten in laten
         by the famous clerke. D. Eras-
         mus of Roterodame/ one called
          Polyphemus or the gospeller/
         the other dysposyng of thynges
             and names/ translated
               in to Englyshe by
                    Edmonde
                     Becke.
           And prynted at Cantorbury
            in saynt Paules paryshe
                by Johñ Mychell.
                      [+]

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           The preface to the Reader.

  Lucius Anneus Seneca amonge many other pratie
  saienges (gentle reder) hathe this also, whiche in
  my iudgement is as trew as it is wittie. Rogãdo
  cogit qui rogat superior. And in effecte is thus
  moch to say, yf a mãnes superior or his better
  desyre any thige, he might aswell cõmãde it by
  authoritie as ones to desyre it.

  A gentleman a nere cosyn of myne, but moch nerer
  in fryndshyp, eftesones dyd instant and moue me to
  translate these two dyaloges folowynge, to whose
  getlenes I am so moch obliged, indetted and
  bounde, that he myght well haue cõmaunded me to
  this and more paynes: to whome I do not onely owe
  seruyce, but my selfe also. And in accõplysshynge
  of his most honest request (partly by cause I
  wolde not the moost inhumane fawte of Ingratitude
  shuld wor||thely be imputed to me, & that I
  might in this thynge also (accordynge to my
  bounden dutie) gratifie my frende) I haue hassard
  my selfe in these daungerous dayes, where many
  are so capcyous, some prone and redy to malygne &
  depraue, and fewe whose eares are not so
  festidious, tendre, and redy to please, that in
  very tryfles & thynges of small importaunce, yet
  exacte dylygence and exquisite iudgement is loked
  for and requyred, of them whiche at this present
  wyll attempte to translate any boke be it that the
  matter be neuer so base. But what diligence I have
  enployed in the translaciõ hereof I referre it to
  the iudgement of the lerned sort, whiche cõferynge
  my translacion with the laten dyaloges, I dowte
  not wyl condone and pardone my boldnesse, in that
  that I chalenge the semblable lybertie whiche the
  translatours of this tyme iustlie chalenge. For
  some heretofore submytting them selfe to
  seruytude, haue lytle ||respecte to the
  obseruaciõ of the thyng which in translacyõ is of
  all other most necessary and requisite, that is to
  saye, to rendre the sence & the very meanyng of
  the author, not so relygyouslie addicte to
  translate worde for worde, for so the sence of the
  author is oftentimes corrupted & depraued, and
  neyther the grace of the one tonge nor yet of the
  other is truely observed or aptlie expressed. The
  lerned knoweth that euery tonge hathe his peculyer
  proprietie, phrase, maner of locucion, enargies
  and vehemêcie, which so aptlie in any other tõg
  can not be expressed. Yf I shal perceyue this my
  symple doinge to be thankefully taken, and in good
  parte accepted, it shall encorage me hereafter to
  attempte the translaciõ of some bokes dysposing of
  matters bothe delectable, frutefull, & expedient
  to be knowen, by the grace of God, who gyuynge me
  quyetnes of mynde, lybertie, and abylytie, shall
  not desyste to communicat the frute of my
  ||spare howers, to such as are not lerned in
  the laten tonge: to whome I dedycat the fyrste
  frutes of this my symple translacyon.


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          A declaracion of the names.

        Poliphemus sygnifieth, valyant
      or noble, and in an other sygnifi-
   cacion, talcatyfe or clybbe of tong. The
      name of a Gyant called Cyclops, ha-
     uynge but one eye in his forhed, of a
     huge stature and a myghtie personage.
    And is aplyed here to sygnifie a great
     freke or a lubber, as this Poliphemus
      was, whiche beynge a man of warre or
     a courtyer, had a newe testament in his
       hande, and loked buselie for some
        sentence or text of scrypture
              and that Cannius his
                companyõ espyed
                  and sayd to
                   hî as fo-
                    loweth.


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  [C]The parsons names are Cannius and Poliphemus.

  Cannius. what hunt Polipheme for here? Poliphemus.
  Aske ye what I hunt for here, and yet ye se me
  haue neyther dogges, dart, Jauelyn, nor huntyng
  staffe. Cannius. Paraduenture ye hunt after some
  praty nymphe of the couert. Poliphemus. By my
  trouth and well coniectured, be holde what a
  goodly pursenet, or a hay I haue here in my hande.
  Cannius. Benedicite, what a straunge syght is
  this, me thinke I se Bachus in a lyons skin,
  Poliphemus with a boke in his hande. This is a
  dogge in a doblet, a sowe with a sadle, of all
  that euer I se it is a non decet. Poliphe. I haue
  not onely paynted and garnyshed my boke with
  saffron, but also I haue lymmed it withe Sinople,
  asaphetida, redleed, vermilõ, and byse. Can. It is
  a warlyke boke, for it is furnished with knottes,
  tassils ||plates, claspes, and brasen bullyons.
  Poliphe. Take the boke in your hand and loke
  within it. Canni. I se it wery well. Truly it
  is a praty boke, but me thynkes ye haue not yet
  trymmed it sufficiently for all your cost ye have
  bestowed upon it. Poliphe. Why what lackes  it?
  Canni. Thou shuldest haue set thyne armes upon it.
  Poliphemus. what armes I beseche the? Cãnius. Mary
  the heed of Silenus, an olde iolthed drunkard
  totynge out of a hoggeshed or a tunne, but in good
  ernest, wherof dothe your boke dyspose or
  intreate? dothe it teache the art and crafte to
  drynke a duetaunt? Poli. Take hede in goddes name
  what ye say lest ye bolt out a blasphemie before
  ye be ware. Cãnius. why bydde ye me take hede what
  I saye? is there any holy matter in the boke?
  Poli. what mã it is the gospell boke, I trow there
  is nothynge can be more holye. Cannius. God for
  thy grace what hathe Poliphemus to do withe the
  gospell? ||Poli. Nay why do ye not aske what a
  chrysten man hathe to do with christe? Cannius.
  I can not tell but me thynkes a rousty byll or a
  halbard wold become such a great lubber or a
  slouyn as thou arte a great deale better, for yf
  it were my chaûce to mete such one and knewe
  him not upon seeborde, and he loked so lyke a
  knaue and a ruffyã as thou dost I wolde take hym
  for a pirate or a rouer upon the see/ and if I met
  such one in the wood for an arrante thefe, and a
  man murderer. Poli. yea good syr but the gospell
  teache vs this same lesson, that we shuld not
  iudge any person by his loke or by his externall &
  outwarde apparaunce. For lyke wyse as many tymes
  vnder a graye freers coote a tyrannous mynde lyeth
  secretly hyd, eue so a polled heed, a crispe or a
  twyrled berde, a frowninge, a ferse, or a dogged
  loke, a cappe, or a hat with an oystrich fether, a
  soldyers cassocke, a payre of hoose all to cut and
  manglyd, may co||uer an euangelycall mynde.
  Cannius. why not, mary God forbyd elles, yea &
  many tymes a symple shepe lyeth hyd in a wolfes
  skynne, and yf a man maye credite and beleue the
  fables of Aesope, an asse maye lye secretely
  unknowen by cause he is in a lyons skynne.
  Poliphe. Naye I knowe hym whiche bereth a shepe
  vpon his heed, and a sore in his brest, to whome I
  wold wysshe with al my hart that he had as whyte
  and as fauorable frendes as he hathe blacke eyes.
  And I wolde wisshe also that he were as well guylt
  ouer and ouer as he hathe a colour mete to take
  guyltynge. Canni. Yf ye take hym to were a shepe
  vpon his heed, that weareth a cappe of woll, howe
  greuously than art thou lodyn, or what an
  excedynge heuy burdê bearest thou then I praye the
  whiche bearest a hoole shepe and an ostryche to
  vpon thy heed? But what saye ye to hî doth not
  he more folyssly which beareth a byrd vpon his
  heed, and an asse in his ||brest. Poliphemus.
  There ye nypped & taunted me in dede. Cannius. But
  I wolde saye this geere dyd wonderous wel yf this
  gospel boke dyd so adourne the with vertue as thou
  hast adourned lymmed, and gorgiously garnysshed it
  with many gay goodly glystryng ornamentes. Mary
  syr thou hast set it forth in his ryght colours in
  dede, wolde to god it might so adourne the with
  good cõdiciõs that thou myghtest ones lerne to be
  an honest man. Poli. There shall be no defaute in
  me, I tell you I wyll do my diligence. Can. Naye
  there is no doute of that, there shall be no more
  faute in you now I dare say then was wonte to be.
  Poli. Yea but (youre tarte tauntes, and youre
  churlysshe checkes, and raylynges set asyde) tell
  me I pray the this one thynge, do you thus
  disprayse, condempne, or fynde faute with them
  whiche caryeth aboute with them the newe testament
  or the gospel boke? Canni. No by my fayth do I not
  good ||praty man. Poliphe. Call ye me but a
  praty one and I am hygher then you by ye length
  of a good asses heed. Can. I thynke not fully so
  moche yf the asse stretch forth his eares, but go
  to it skyllis no matter of that, let it passe, he
  that bare Christ vpon his backe was called
  Christofer, and thou whiche bearest the gospell
  boke aboute with the shall for Poliphemus be
  called the gospeller or the gospell bearer. Polip.
  Do not you counte it an holy thynge to cary aboute
  with a man the newe testament? Cãni. why no syr by
  my trouth do I not, except thou graunte the very
  asses to be holy to. Poli. How can an asse be
  holy? Cannius. For one asse alone is able to beare
  thre hundreth suche bokes, and I thynke suche a
  great lubber as thou art were stronge inoughe to
  beare as great a burden, and yf thou had a hansome
  packesadle sette vpon thy backe. Poliphe. And yet
  for all your iestynge it is not agaynst good
  reason to saye ||that ye asse was holy which
  bore christ. Cannius. I do not enuye you man for
  this holynes for I had as lefe you had that
  holynes as I, and yf it please you to take it I
  wyll geue you an holy & a religious relyke of the
  selfe same asse whiche christ rode vpon, and whan
  ye haue it ye may kysse it lycke it and cull it as
  ofte as ye lyst. Poli. Mary syr I thanke you, ye
  can not gyue me a more thanckefull gyfte nor do me
  a greatter pleasure, for that asse withouten any
  tayle was made as holye as any asse could be by
  the touchynge of christes body. Cannius. Undouted
  they touched christes body also whiche stroke and
  buffeted christ. Poliphe. yea but tell me this one
  thynge I praye the in good ernest. Is it not a
  great sygne of holynes in a man to cary aboute the
  gospel boke or the newe testament? Cannius. It is
  a token of holynes in dede if it be done without
  hypocrysie, I meane if it be done without
  dissimulacion/ and for ||that end, intent &
  purpose, that it shuld be done for. Poliphe. What
  the deuyl & a morten tellest thou a man of warre
  of hypocrisie, away with hypocrisie to the monkes
  and the freers. Cannius. Yea but bycause ye saye
  so, tell me fyrste I praye you what ye call
  hypocrisie. Po. When a man pretendis another thyng
  outwardly then he meanis secretly in his mynde.
  Cannius. But what dothe the bearynge aboute of the
  newe testament sygnyfie. Dothe it not betoken that
  thy lyfe shulde be conformable to the gospell
  which thou carryest aboute with the. Poli.
  I thynke well it dothe. Cannius. Wel then when thy
  lyfe is not conformable to the boke, is not that
  playne hypocrisie. Poliph. Tell me thê  what you
  call the trewe carienge of the gospell boke aboute
  with a man. Cãni. Sõme men beare it aboute with
  them in theyr hãdes (as the gray freers were wonte
  to beare the rule of saynt Fraunces) and so the
  porters of Londõ, Asses ||& horses may beare
  it as well as they. And there be some other that
  carry the gospel in theyr mouthes onlie, and such
  haue no other talke but al of christ and his
  gospell, and that is a very poynt of a pharysey.
  And some other carrye it in theyr myndes. But in
  myne opynion he beares the gospell boke as he
  shuld do whiche bothe beares it in his hande,
  cõmunes of it with his mouth whan occasyon of
  edyfyenge of his neyghboure whan conuenyent
  oportunytie is mynystred to him, and also beares
  it in his mynde and thynkes vpon it withe his
  harte. Poli. Yea thou art a mery felow, where
  shall a man fynde suche blacke swãnes? Cannius. In
  euery cathedrall church, where there be any
  deacons, for they beare the gospel boke î theyr
  hãde, they synge the gospell aloude, somtyme in a
  lofte that the people may heare thê, althoughe
  they do not vnderstand it, and theyr myndes are
  vpõ it when they synge it. Polphe. And yet for all
  your ||sayenge all suche deacons are no saynttes
  that beare the gospell so in theyr myndes.
  Cannius. But lest ye play the subtyle and
  capcious sophystryar with me I wyll tell you this
  one thynge before. No man can beare the gospell in
  his mynde but he must nedes loue it from the
  bothum of his harte, no man loueth it inwardly and
  from the bothû of his harte but he must nedes
  declare and expresse the gospell in his lyuinge,
  outwarde maners, & behauour. Poli. I can not skyll
  of youre subtyle reasonynges, ye are to fyne for
  me. Can. Thê I wyll commune with you after a
  grosser maner, and more playnly. yf thou dyddest
  beare a tankard of good Reynyshe wyne vpon thy
  shulders onelye, what other thynge were it to the
  then a burden. Poliphe. It were none other thynge
  truly, it is no great pleasure so beare wyne.
  Cannius. What and yf thou dranke asmoche as thou
  coudest well holde in thy mouthe, after the manner
  of ||a gargarisme & spyt it out agayne. Po.
  That wolde do me no good at all, but take me not
  with suche a faute I trow, for the wyne is very
  bad and if I do so. Canni. But what and yf thou
  drynke thy skynne full as thou art wont to do, whê
  thou comest where good wyne is. Poliphe. Mary
  there is nothyng more godly or heuynly. Cannius.
  It warmes you at the stomacke, it settes your body
  in a heate, it makes you loke with a  ruddy face,
  and setteth your hart vpon a mery pynne. Poliphe.
  That is suerly so as ye saye in dede. Canni. The
  gospell is suche a lyke thynge of all this worlde,
  for after that it hathe ones persed & entered in
  the veynes of the mynd it altereth, transposeth,
  and cleane changeth vpsodowne the whole state of
  mã, and chaungeth hym cleane as it were into a
  nother man. Polip. Ah ha, nowe I wot wherabout ye
  be, belyke ye thîke that I lyue not accordynge to
  the gospell or as a good gospeller shulde do.
  ||Cannius. There is no man can dyssolue this
  questiõ better then thy selfe. Poli. Call ye it
  dissoluynge? Naye and yf a thynge come to
  dyssoluynge gyue me a good sharpe axe in my hande
  and I trow I shall dyssolue it well inoughe.
  Canni. What woldest thou do, I praye the, and yf a
  man shulde say to thy teth thou lyest falsely, or
  elles call the by thy ryght name knaue in
  englysshe. Poli. What wolde I do quod he, that is
  a question in dede, mary he shulde feele the
  wayghte of a payre of churlyshe fystes I warrant
  the. Canni. And what and yf a man gaue you a good
  cuffe vpon the eare that shulde waye a pounde?
  Poliphe. It were a well geuen blowe that wolde
  aduauntage hym. xx. by my trouthe and he escaped
  so he myght say he rose vpon his ryght syde, but
  it were maruayle & I cut not of his head harde by
  his shulders. Canni. Yea but good felowe thy
  gospell boke teacheth the to geue gentle answers,
  and fayre wordes ||agayne for fowle, and to
  hym that geueth the a blowe vpon the ryght cheke
  to holde forth the lyfte. Poliphe. I do remembre I
  haue red suche a thinge in my boke, but ye must
  pardone me for I had quyte forgotten it. Can. Well
  go to, what saye ye to prayer I suppose ye praye
  very ofte. Poli. That is euyn as very a touche of
  a pharesey as any can be. Cannius. I graunt it is
  no lesse thê a poynte of a pharesey to praye longe
  and faynedly vnder a colour or pretêce of holynes,
  that is to saye when a man prayeth not frõ the
  bothum of his hart but with the lyppes only and
  from the tethe outward, and that in opyn places
  where great resort of people is, bycause they wold
  be sene. But thy gospel boke teacheth the to praye
  contynually, but so that thy prayer come from the
  bothu of the hart. Poli. Yea but yet for all my
  sayenge I praye sumtyme. Can. When I beseche the
  when ye art a slepe? Poli. When it cometh in to
  my mynde, ones ||or twyse may chaunce in a weke.
  Can. what prayer sayst thou? Poliphe. The lordes
  prayer, the Pater noster. Canni. Howe many tymes
  ouer? Poli. Onis, & I trowe it is often inoughe,
  for the gospell forbyddeth often repetynge of
  one thynge. Canni. Can ye saye your pater noster
  through to an ende & haue youre mynde runnynge
  vpon nothynge elles in all that whyle? Poli.
  By my trouthe and ye wyll beleue me I neuer yet
  assayed nor proued whether I coulde do it or no.
  But is it not sufficient to saye it with my
  mouthe? Can. I can not tell whether it be or
  no. But I am sure god here vs not excepte we praye
  from the bothum of our harte. But tell me another
  thyng I wyll aske the. Doest thou not fast very
  often? Poli. No neuer in all my lyfe tyme and yf
  it were not for lacke of meate. Can. And yet thy
  boke alowes and commendes hyghly bothe fastynge
  and prayer. Polip. So coulde I alowe them but that
  my belly can ||not well affare nor a way with
  fastyng. Cannius. Yea but Paule sayth they are not
  the seruauntes of Iesus Christe whiche serue theyr
  belly & make it theyr god. Do you eate fleshe
  euery day? Po. No neuer when I haue none to eate,
  but I neuer refuse it when it is set before me,
  and I neuer aske question not for cõscience but
  for my belly sake. Can. Yea but these stronge
  sturdy sydes of suche a chuffe and a lobbynge
  lobye as thou arte wolde be fed well inoughe with
  haye and barke of trees. Poliphe. Yea but chryste
  sayd, that which entereth in at the mouthe
  defyleth not the man. Canni. That is to be
  vnderstand thus yf it be measurably taken, and
  without the offendinge of our christian brother.
  But Paule the disciple of chryst had rather
  peryshe & sterue with hunger then onys to offende
  his weyke brothren with his eatynge, and he
  exhorteth vs to followe his example that in all
  thynges we maye please all men. Poli. What tel
  ||ye me of Paule, Paule is Paule and I am I.
  Cannius. Do you gladly helpe to releue the poore
  and the indygent with your goodes? Poli. Howe can
  I helpe them whiche haue nothynge to gyue them,
  and scant inoughe for my selfe. Cannius. ye myght
  spare somthynge to helpe thê with yf thou woldest
  playe the good husband in lyuynge more warely, in
  moderatynge thy superfluous expenses, and in
  fallynge to thy worke lustely. Poliphemus. Nay
  then I were a fole in dede, a penyworth of ease is
  euer worth a peny, and nowe I haue found so moch
  pleasure in ease that I can not fall to no labour.
  Canni. Do you kepe the commaundementes of god?
  Polip. Nowe ye appose me, kepe the cõmaundementes
  quod he, that is a payne in dede. Cannius. Art
  thou sory for thy synnes and thyne offences, doest
  thou ernestly repent the for thê. Poliphemus.
  Christ hath payed the raunsome of synne and
  satisfied for it alredy. Cannius. Howe ||prouest
  thou then that thou louest the gospell and
  fauoris the word of god as thou bearest men in
  hande thou doest. Poliphemus. I wyll tell you that
  by & by, and I dare saye you wyl confesse no
  lesse your selfe then that I am an ernest
  fauorer of the worde then I haue told you ye
  tale. There was a certayne gray frere of the
  order of saynt Fraunces with vs whiche neuer
  ceased to bable and rayle agaynste the newe
  testament of Erasmus, I chaunsed to talke with the
  gêtylman pryuatly where no man was present but he
  and I, and after I had communed awhyle with hym I
  caught my frere by the polled pate with my left
  hande and with my right hãde I drew out my daggar
  and I pomelled the knaue frere welfauardly aboute
  his skonce that I made his face as swollen and as
  puffed as a puddynge. Cannius. what a tale is
  this that thou tellest me. Poliphemus. How say you
  is not this a good and a sufficient proue that I
  fa||uer the gospell. I gaue hym absolucion afore
  he departed out of my handes with this newe
  testament thryse layde vpon his pate as harde as I
  myght dryue yt I made thre bunches in his heed
  as bygge as thre egges in the name of the father,
  the sone, & the holy goost. Can. Now by my trouth
  this was well done & lyke a ryght gospeller of
  these dayes. Truly this is as they saye to
  dyffende the gospell with the gospell. Poliphe.
  I met another graye frere of the same curryshe
  couent, that knaue neuer had done in raylynge
  agaynst Erasmus, so sone as I had espyed hym I was
  styrred and moued with the brenninge zele of the
  gospell that in thretenyng of him I made hym knele
  downe vpon his knees and crye Erasmus mercie and
  desyred me to forgyue hym, I may saye to you it
  was hyghe tyme for hym to fall downe vpon his
  marybones, and yf he had not done it by and by I
  had my hal||barde vp redy to haue gyuen hym
  betwyxt the necke and the heade, I loked as grymme
  as modie Mars when he is in furyous fume, it is
  trewe that I tell you, for there was inoughe sawe
  the frere and me yf I wolde make a lye. Cannius.
  I maruayle the frere was not out of his wyt. But
  to retourne to oure purpose agayne, dost thou lyue
  chastly? Poliphemus. Peraduenture I maye do here
  after when I am more stryken in age. But shall I
  confesse the trouthe to the? Canni. I am no preest
  man, therfore yf thou wylt be shryuen thou must
  seke a preest to whome thou maye be lawfully
  confessed. Poliphe. I am wont styl to cõfesse my
  selfe to god, but I wyl confesse thus moche to the
  at this tyme I am not yet become a perfyte
  gospeller or an euangelical man, for I am but yet
  as it were one of ye cõmune people, ye knowe wel
  perde we gospellers haue iiii. gospels wrytten by
  the .iiii. euange||lystes, & suche gospellers
  as I am hunt busely, and chefely for .iiii.
  thynges that we may haue. Unde. to prouyde dayntie
  fare for the bellie, that nothynge be lackynge to
  that parte of the body whiche nature hath placed
  vnder the belly, ye wote what I meane, and to
  obtayne and procure suche liuinge that we may lyue
  welthely and at pleasure without carke & care. And
  fynally that we maye do what we lyst without
  checke or controlment, yf we gospellars lacke none
  of all these thynges we crye and synge for ioye,
  amonge our ful cuppes Io Io we tryumphe and are
  wonderfull frolycke, we synge and make as mery as
  cup and can, and saye the gospell is a lyue agayne
  Chryst rayneth. Cannius. This is a lyfe for an
  Epycure or a god belly and for no euangelicall
  persone that professeth the gospell. Poli. I denye
  not but that it is so as ye saye, but ye knowe
  well that god is omnipotent and can do al thynges,
  he can turne vs ||whê his wyll is sodenly in
  to other maner of men. Cannius. So can he
  transforme you in to hogges and swyne, the whiche
  maye soner be done I iudge thê to chaunge you into
  good men for ye are halfe swynyshe & hoggyshe
  alredy, your lyuynge is so beastlie. Poliphe.
  Holde thy peas mã wolde to god there were no men
  that dyd more hurt in the world then swyne,
  bullockes, asses, and camelles. A mã may se many
  men now adayes more crueller then lyons, more
  rauenynge thê wolues, more lecherous then sparous,
  and that byte worse then mad dogges, more noysom
  thê snakes, vepers and adders. Cannius. But nowe
  good Polipheme remembre and loke vpon thy selfe
  for it is hyghe tyme for the to laye a syde thy
  beastly lyuynge, and to be tourned from a brute
  and a sauage beast in to a man. Poliphemus. I
  thanke you good neyghbour Cannius for by saynt
  Mary I thynke your counsayle is good/for the
  prophetes of this ||tyme sayth the worlde is
  almost at an end, and we shall haue domes daye
  (as they call it) shortely. Cannius. We haue
  therfore more nede to prepare our selues in a
  redines agaynst that day, and that with as moche
  spede as maye be possible. Poliphemus. as for my
  part I loke and wayte styll euery day for the
  myghty hande and power of christ. Cannius. Take
  hede therfore that thou, when christ shall laye
  his myghty hande vpon the be as tendre as waxe,
  that accordynge to his eternall wyll he maye
  frayme & fashyon the with his hande. But wherby I
  praye the dothe these prophetes coniecture &
  gather that the worlde is almost at an ende.
  Poliphe. Bycause men (they saye) do the selfe same
  thinge nowe adayes that they dyd, and were wont to
  do which were lyuynge in the worlde a lytle whyle
  before the deluge or Noyes floode. They make
  solempne feastes, they banket, they quaffe, they
  booll, they bybbe, they ryot men mary, ||wome
  are maryed, they go a catterwallynge and
  horehuntinge, they bye, they sell, they lend to
  vserie, and borowe vpon vserie, they builde, kîges
  keepe warre one agaynst another, preestes studie
  howe they maye get many benefyces and promociõs to
  make them selfe riche and increase theyr worldly
  substaunce, the diuynes make insolible sillogismus
  and vnperfyte argumêtes, they gather conclusyons,
  monkes and freers rûne, at rouers ouer all the
  world, the comyn people are in a mase or a hurle
  burle redy to make insurrections, and to conclude
  breuelie there lackes no euyll miserie nor
  myschefe, neyther hõger, thyrst fellonie,
  robberie, warre, pestilence, sediciõ, derth, and
  great scarsytie and lacke of all good thynges. And
  howe say you do not all these thynges argue and
  sufficientlie proue that the worlde is almost at
  an ende? Cannius. Yea but tell me I praye the of
  all thes hoole hepe of euyls and miseries whiche
  greueth the ||moste? Poliphemus. Whiche
  thynkes thou, tell me thy fansie and coniecture?
  Cannius. That the Deuyll (god saue vs) maye daunce
  in thy purse for euer a crosse that thou hast to
  kepe hî for the. Poliphe. I pray god I dye and yf
  thou haue not hyt the nayle vpon the head. Now as
  chaunceth I come newly from a knotte of good
  companye where we haue dronke harde euery man for
  his parte, & I am not behynde with myne, and
  therfore my wytte is not halfe so freshe as it
  wyll be, I wyll dyspute of the gospell with the
  whan I am sobre. Canni. When shal I se the sobre?
  Poli. When I shall be sobre. Cannius. Whê wyll
  that be? Poliph. When thou shalt se me, in the
  meane season god be with you gentle Cannius and
  well mot you do. Cannius. And I wyshe to you a
  gayne for my parte that thou ware in dede as
  valiaunt or pusaunt a felowe as thy name soundeth.
  Poliphe. And bycause ye shall lose nothynge at my
  ||hande with wyshynge I pray god that Cannius
  maye neuer lacke a good can or a stoope of wine or
  bere, wherof he had his name.

                 F  I  N  I  S

       *       *       *       *       *

          [C]The dialoge of thynges
                  and names.


           A declaracion of the names.

         Beatus, is he whiche hathe abun
        dance of al thinges that is good,
      and is parfyte in all thynges commen-
     dable or prayseworthy or to be desyred
        of a good man. Somtyme it is ta-
          ken for fortunate, ryche, or
            noble. Bonifacius, fayre,
              full of fauor or well
                    fauored.
                      [+]


       *       *       *       *       *

  [C]The parsons names are Beatus and Bonifacius.

  _Beatus._ God saue you mayster Boniface.
  _Bonifacius._ God saue you & god saue you agayne
  gêtle _Beatus._ But I wold god bothe we were such,
  and so in very dede as we be called by name, that
  is to say thou riche & I fayre. _Beatus._ Why do
  you thynke it nothynge worth at al to haue a goodly
  glorious name. _Bonifacius._ Truely me thynke it is
  of no valure or lytle good worthe, onles a man
  haue the thynge itselfe whiche is sygnified by the
  name. _Beatus._ Yea you maye well thynke your
  pleasure, but I am assured that the most part of
  all mortall men be of another mynde. _Bonifa._ It
  may wel be I do not denye that they are mortal,
  but suerly I do not byleue that they are me, which
  are so beastly mynded. _Bea._ Yes good syr and they
  be men to laye ||your lyfe, onlesse ye thynke
  camels and asses do walke about vnder the fygure
  and forme of men. _Boni._ Mary I can soner beleue
  that then that they be men whiche esteme and passe
  more vpon the name, then the thynge. _Bea._
  I graunte in certayne kyndes of thinges moost men
  had rather haue the thynge then the name, but in
  many thynges it is otherwyse and cleane cõtrary.
  _Bo._ I can not well tell what ye meane by that.
  _Bea._ And yet the example of this matter is
  apparant or sufficiently declared in vs two. Thou
  arte called Bonifacius and thou hast in dede the
  thynge wherby thou bearest thy name. Yet if there
  were no other remedy but eyther thou must lacke
  the one or the other, whether had you rather haue
  a fowle and deformed face or elles for Boniface be
  called Maleface or horner? _Boni._ Beleue me I had
  rather be called fowle Thersites then haue a
  monstrous or a deformyed face, whether I haue a
  good face or no ||I can not tell. _Bea._ And
  euen so had I for yf I were ryche and there were
  no remedy but that I must eyther forgoo my
  rychesse, or my name I had rather be called Irus
  whiche was a poore beggers name then lacke my
  ryches. _Boni._ I agree to you for asmoch as ye
  speake the trouth, and as you thynke. _Bea._ Iudge
  all them to be of the same mynde that I am of
  whiche are indued with helthe or other commodities
  and qualities appartaynynge to the body. _Boni._
  That is very trewe. _Bea._ Yea but I praye the
  cõsyder and marke howe many men we se whiche had
  rather haue the name of a lerned and a holy man,
  then to be well lerned, vertuous, & holy in dede.
  _Boni._ I knowe a good sorte of suche men for my
  part. _Bea._ Tell me thy fãtasie I pray the do not
  suche men passe more vpon the name then the
  thinge? _Boni._ Methynke thy do. _Bea._ Yf we had a
  logician here whiche could well and clarkelie
  defyne what were a kynge, what a bysshoppe,
  ||what a magistrate, what a philosopher is,
  paduêture we shuld find som amõg these iolly
  felowes whiche had rather haue the name then the
  thynge. _Boni._ Surely & so thynke I. Yf he be a
  kinge whiche by lawe and equyte regardes more the
  commoditie of his people then his owne lucre/yf he
  be a bisshop which alwayes is careful for the
  lordes flocke cõmytted to his pastorall charge/yf
  he be a magistrate which frankelie and of good
  wyll dothe make prouysyon, and dothe all thinge
  for the comyn welthes sake/and yf he be a
  phylosopher whiche passynge not vpon the goodes of
  this worlde, only geueth hym selfe to attayn to a
  good mynde, and to leade a vertuous lyfe. _Bea._
  Lo thus ye may perseyue what a nombre of semblable
  exãples ye may collecte & gether. _Boni._ Undouted
  a great sorte. _Bea._ But I pray the tel me wyll
  you saye that all these are no men. _Boni._ Nay I
  feare rather lest in so sayenge it shulde cost vs
  our lyues, and ||so myght we our selues shortelye
  be no men. _Bea._ Yf man be a resonable creature,
  howe ferre dyffers this from all good reason, that
  in cõmodities apertayning to the body (for so
  they deserue rather to be called then goodnes) and
  in outwarde gyftes whiche dame fortune geues and
  takes awaye at her pleasure, we had rather haue
  the thynge then the name, and in the true and only
  goodnes of the mynd we passe more vpon the name
  then the thynge. _Boni._ So god helpe me it is a
  corrupte and a preposterours iudgement, yf a man
  marke and consyder it wel. _Bea._ The selfe same
  reason is in contrarie thinges. _Boni._ I wolde
  gladly knowe what ye meane by that. _Bea._ We maye
  iudge lykewyse the same of the names of thynges to
  be eschued, and incommodites which was spoken of
  thynges to be diffyred and cõmodites. _Boni._ Nowe
  I haue considered the thynges well, it apereth to
  be euen so as ye saye in dede. __Bea.__ It
  shulde be ||more feared of a good prynce to be
  a tyraunt in dede then to haue the name of a
  tyraunt. And yf an euyll bysshop be a thefe and a
  robber, then we shulde not so greatly abhorre and
  hate the name as the thynge. _Boni._ Eyther so it
  is or so it shuld be. _Bea._ Nowe gather you of the
  rest as I haue done of the prynce & the bysshop.
  _Boni._ Me thynkes I vnderstande this gere
  wonderouse well. _Bea._ Do not all men hate the
  name of a fole or to be called a moome, a sotte,
  or an asse? _Boni._ Yeas as moche as they do any
  one thynge. _Bea._ And how saye you were not he a
  starke fole that wold fishe with a goldê bayte,
  that wolde preferre or esteme glasse better then
  precious stones, or whiche loues his horse or
  dogges better then his wyfe and his chyldrê?
  _Boni._ He were as wyse as waltoms calfe, or
  madder then iacke of Redyng. _Bea._ And be not
  they as wyse whiche not assygned, chosen, nor yet
  ones appoynted by the magistrates, but vpon ||theyr
  owne heed aduenture to runne to the warres for
  hoope of a lytle gayne, ieoperdynge theyr bodyes
  and daungerynge theyr soules? Or howe wyse be
  they which busie thê selfe to get, gleyne, and
  reepe to gyther, goodes and ryches when they haue
  a mynde destitute and lackyng all goodness? Are
  not they also euen as wyse that go gorgyously
  apparylled, and buyldes goodly sumptuous houses,
  when theyr myndes are not regarded but neglect
  fylthye and with all kynde of vyce fowle
  corrupted? And how wyse are they whiche are
  carefull diligent and busie, about the helthe of
  theyr body neglectynge and not myndynge at all
  theyr soule, in daunger of so many deedly synnes?
  And fynally to conclude howe wyse be they whiche
  for a lytle shorte transytorye pleasure of this
  lyfe deserue euerlastynge tormentes and
  punyshementes? _Boni._ Euen reason forseth me to
  graunt that they are more then frãtyke and
  folyshe. _Bea._ Yea ||but althoughe all the
  whole worlde be full of suche fooles, a man can
  scaselye fynde one whiche can abyde the name of a
  foole, and yet they deserue to be called so for
  asmoche as they hate not the thynge. _Boni._ Suerly
  it is euen so as ye seye. _Bea._ Ye knowe also howe
  the names of a lyar and a thefe are abhorred and
  hated of all men. _Boni._ They are spyteful and
  odious names, and abhorred of all men, and not
  withe out good cause why. _Bea._ I graunte that,
  but althoughe to commyt adulterie be a more wycked
  synne then thefte yet for al that some men reioyse
  and shewe them selfe glad of that name, whiche
  wolde be redy by and by to drawe theyr swerdes and
  fyghte withe a man that wolde or durst call them
  theues. _Boni._ It is true there are many wolde
  take it euyll as you saye in dede. _Bea._ And nowe
  it is commyn to that poynt that thoughe there are
  many vnthryftes and spêdals whiche consume theyr
  substaunce at the ||wyne and vpon harlottes,
  and yet so wyllynge to continewe openly that all
  the worlde wonders at them, yet they wyll be
  offended and take peper in the noose yf a man
  shulde call them ruffyans or baudy knaues. _Boni._
  Suche fellowes thynke they deserue prayse for the
  thynge, and yet for all that they can not abyde
  the name dewe to the thinge whiche they deserue.
  _Bea._ There is scarslye any name amonges vs more
  intollerable or worse can be abydden then to be
  called a lyar or a lyeng fellowe. _Boni._ I haue
  knowen some or this whiche haue kylled men for
  suche a spytefull worde as that is. _Bea._ Yea yea
  but wolde god suche hasty fellowes dyd as well
  abhorre the thinge and hate lienge as well as to
  be called lyers, was it neuer thy chaunce to be
  dysceyued of any man whiche borowinge mony of the
  appoyntynge the a certayne daye to repaye the sayd
  money and so performyd not his appoyntment nor
  kept his day? ||_Boni._ Yeas many tymes (god
  knoweth) and yet hath he sworne many a greuous
  othe and that not one tyme but many tymes. _Bea._
  Peraduenture he wolde haue ben so honest as to
  haue payed it and yf he had had wherwith. _Boni._
  Naye that is not so for he was able inoughe, but
  as he thought it better neuer to paye his dettes.
  _Bea._ And what call you this in englyshe, is it
  not playne lyenge? _Boni._ Yes as playne as
  Dunstable way, there can not be a lowder lye then
  this is. _Bea._ Durste you be so bolde to pulle
  one of these good detters of yours by the sleue and
  saye thus to hym, why hast thou dysceyued me so
  many tymes and broken promyse with me, or to talke
  to hym in playne englyshe, why doest thou make me
  so many lyes? _Boni._ Why no syr by my trouthe
  durst I not, excepte I were mynded before to chaûge
  halfe a dosen drye blowes with hym. _Bea._ Dothe
  not masons Brekelayers, Carpenters, Smy||thes,
  Goldsmithes, Taylours, disceyue and disapoynt vs
  after the lyke maner daylye promysynge to do youre
  worke suche a daye and suche a daye without any
  fayle, or further delaye, and yet for all that
  they parforme not theyr promesse althoughe it
  stande the neuer somoche vpon hande, or that thou
  shuldest take neuer so moche profyte by it. _Boni._
  This is a wonderous and strange vnshamefast
  knauerye of all that euer I hard of. But and ye
  speake of breakers of promyse then ye maye reken
  amongest them lawyers and atturneys at the lawe,
  which wyl not stycke to promyse or beare you in
  hande that they wyll be diligent and ernest in the
  furtheraûce and spedie expedicion of your sute.
  _Bea._ Reken quod he, naye ye maye reken fyve
  hundreth mennes names besyde these of sundrye
  faculties and occupacions whiche wyll promyse more
  by an ynch of a candle then they wyll performe by
  a whole pounde. _Boni._ Why ||and ye call this
  lyenge all the worlde is full of suche lyenge.
  _Bea._ Ye se also lykewyse that no man can abyde to
  be called thefe, and yet all men do not abhorre
  the thynge so greatly. _Boni._ I wolde gladly haue
  you to declare your mynde in this more playnlye &
  at large. _Bea._ What difference is there betwene
  hym whiche stealeth thy money forthe of thy cofer,
  and hym whiche forsweareth and falsely denyeth
  that whiche thou cõmytted to his custodie to be
  reserued and safely kept for thy vse only, or to
  suche tyme as thou arte mynded to call for it
  agayne. _Boni._ There is as they say neyther
  barrell better hearing, but that in my iudgement
  he is the falser knaue of the twayne whiche robbes
  a man that puttes his confidence and trust in hym.
  _Bea._ yea but howe fewe men are there nowe adayes
  lyuynge whiche are contente to restore agayne that
  whiche they were put in truste to kepe, or yf they
  deluer it agayne it is ||so dymynysshed,
  gelded, nypped, and pynched, that it is not
  delyuered whollye, but some thinge cleues in theyr
  fyngers, that the prouerbe may haue place where
  the horse walloweth there lyeth some heares.
  _Boni._ I thynke but a fewe that dothe otherwyse.
  _Bea._ And yet for all that there is none of al
  these that cã abyde it ones to be called thefe,
  and yet forsothe they hate not the thing so
  greatly. _Boni._ That is as trewe as the gospell.
  _Bea._ Consyder me nowe and marke I beseche the
  howe the goodes of orphanes, pupylls, wardes, and
  fatherlesse chyldren be cõmunely ordered and vsed,
  how wylles and testamentes be executed and
  performed, how legacyes and bequethes be communelye
  payde, Naye howe moche cleueth and hangeth fast in
  the fyngers of the executors or with them that
  mynyster and intermedle with the goodes of the
  testatours. _Boni._ Many tymes they retayne and
  kepe in theyr handes all togy||ther. _Bea._ Yea
  they loue to playe the thefe well inoughe, but they
  loue nothynge worse then to here of it. _Boni._
  That is very trewe. _Bea._ Howe lytle dyffers he
  from a thefe whiche boroweth money of one and other
  and so runneth in dette, with this intent and
  purpose that yf he maye escape so or fynde suche a
  crafty colour or a subtyle shyft, he intendeth
  neuer to paye that he oweth. _Boni._ Paraduenture
  he maye be called warer or more craftier thê a
  thefe is in dede but no poynt better, for it is
  hard chosyng of a better where there is neuer a
  good of them bothe. _Bea._ yea but althoughe there
  be in euery place a great nombre of such
  makeshyftes and slypper marchauntes yet the
  starkest knaue of thê all can not abyde to be
  called thefe. _Boni._ God onely knoweth euery mãnes
  hart and mynd, and therfore they are called of vs
  men that are runne in dette or fer behynde the
  hande, but not theues for that soun||deth vnswetely
  and lyke a playne song note. _Bea._ What skyllys it
  howe they be called amõge men yf they be theues
  afore god. And where you say that god onely knoweth
  euery mannes hart and mynde, euen so euery man
  knoweth his owne mynde, whether in his wordes &
  doynges he entende fraude, couyn, dysceyte, and
  thefte or no. But what say ye by hym whiche when he
  oweth more then he is worthe, wyll not stycke to
  lashe prodygallye and set the cocke vpon the hoope,
  and yet yf he haue any money at all lefte to spende
  that a waye vnthryftely, and when he hathe played
  the parte of a knauyshe spendall in one cytie
  deludinge and disceyuyng his creditours, ronnes
  out of this countre and getteth hym to some other
  good towne, and there sekynge for straûgers and
  newe acquayntaûce whom he may lykewyse begyle, yea
  and playeth many suche lyke partes and shameful
  shiftes. I praye the tell me dothe not suche a
  ||greke declare euydentlye by his crafty
  dealynge and false demeanour, what mynde is he of?
  _Boni._ yes suerly as euydentlye as can be
  possible. But yet suche felowes are wonte to
  colour and cloke theyr doynges vnder a craftie
  pretence. _Bea._ With what I beseche the? _Boni._
  They saye to owe moche and to dyuers persones is
  communely vsed of great men, yea and of kynges
  also as well as of them, and therfore they that
  intende to be of that disposycyon wyll beare out
  to the harde hedge the porte of a gentylman and
  soo they wyll be taken and estemed for gentilmen
  of the commune people. _Bea._ A gentylman and why
  or to what entent and purpose a gentylman? _Boni._
  It is a straunge thynge to be spoken howe moche
  they thynke it is mete for a gentylman or a
  horseman to take vpon hym. _Bea._ By what equytie,
  authoritie, or lawes. _Boni._ By none other but by
  the selfe same lawes that the Admiralles of the
  ||sees chalenge a proprietie in all suche thynges
  as are cast vpon the shoore by wracke, althoughe
  the ryghte owner come forthe and chalenge his owne
  goodes. And also by the same lawes that some other
  men saye all is theyrs what soeuer is founde
  aboute a thefe or a robber whê he is takê. _Boni._
  Such lawes as these are the arrantest theues that
  are myght make them selues. _Bea._ yea and ye may
  be sure they wold gladly with al theyr harts î
  their bodies make suche lawes yf they coulde
  mayntayne them or were of power to se them
  executed, and they myght haue some thynge to laye
  for theyr excuse if they could proclayme opyn warre
  before they fell to robbynge. _Boni._ But who gaue
  that pryuylege rather to a horseman then to a
  foteman, or more to a gentylman thê to a good
  yeman. _Bea._ The fauoure that is shewed to men of
  warre, for by suche shyftes and thus they practyse
  before to be good men of warre that they ||maye be
  more redy & hansome to spoyle theyr enemyes when
  they shall encounter with thê. _Boni._ I thynke
  Pyrhus dyd so exercyse and breake his yonge
  souldyers to the warres. _Bea._ No not Pyrrhus but
  the Lacedemonians dyd. _Boni._ Mary syr hange vp
  suche practysers or soldyers and theyr practisyng
  to. But howe come they by the name of horsemen or
  gentylmen that they vsurpe suche a great
  prerogatyue? _Bea._ Some of them are gentylmê borne
  and it cometh to them by auncestrie, some bye it
  by the meanes of maystrys money, and other some
  gette it by certayne shyftes. _Boni._ But maye
  euery man that wyl and lyst come by it by shyftes?
  _Bea._ Yea why not, euery man maye be a gentylman
  nowe adayes very well and yf theyr condicions and
  maners be accordynge. _Boni._ What maners or
  condicions must suche one haue I beseche the?
  _Bea._ Yf he be occupyed aboute no goodnesse, yf he
  can ruffle it ||and swashe in his satens and his
  silkes and go gorgiously apparelled, yf he can
  ratle in his rynges vpon the fyngers endes, yf he
  can playe the ruffyan and the horemonger and kepe
  a gaye hoore gallantlye, yf he be neuer well at
  ease but when he is playenge at the dyse, yf he be
  able to matche as moche an vnthryfte as hym selfe
  with a newe payre of cardes, yf he spende his tyme
  lyke an epycure vpon bankettinge, sumptuous fare,
  and all kynde of pleasures, yf he talke of no
  rascalles nor beggars, but bragge, bost, face,
  brace, and crake of castelles, towers, and
  skyrmysshes, and yf all his talke be of the warres
  and blody battels, and playe the parte of
  crackinge Thraso throughly, such gaye grekes,
  lusty brutes and ionkers may take vpon them to be
  at defyaunce withe whome they wyll and lyst,
  thoughe the gentylman haue neuer a fote of lande
  to lyue vpon. _Boni._ Call ye them horsmen. Mary
  syr suche horsemen are wel ||worthy to ryde vpõ
  the gallowes, these are gentylmen of the Iebet of
  all that euer I haue harde of. _Bea._ But yet there
  be not afewe suche in that parte of Germany called
  Nassen or Hessen.


                 F  I  N  I  S

          Trãslated by Edmonde Becke
           And prynted at Cantorbury
            in saynt Paules parishe
                by Johñ Mychell.
                      [+]

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[Transcriber's note: The following typographical
errors were corrected.
  "soldyers cassocke, a payre of hoose all to cut and
  manglyd, may co||uer an euangelycall mynde."
      hoose _was_ hoofe
  "Poliphe. Naye I knowe hym whiche bereth a shepe
  vpon his heed, and a sore in his brest"
      sore _was_ fore
  "orphanes, pupylls, wardes, and fatherlesse
  chyldren be cõmunely ordered and vsed, how wylles"
      cõmunely _was_ cõmuuely ]





End of Project Gutenberg's Two Dyaloges (c. 1549), by Desiderius Erasmus