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GEORGE WASHINGTON'S
RULES OF CIVILITY


Traced to their Sources and Restored

BY
MONCURE D. CONWAY


1890



Inscribed

TO MY SON
_EUSTACE CONWAY_




THE RULES OF CIVILITY.


Among the manuscript books of George Washington, preserved in the State
Archives at Washington City, the earliest bears the date, written in it
by himself, 1745. Washington was born February 11, 1731 O.S., so that
while writing in this book he was either near the close of his
fourteenth, or in his fifteenth, year. It is entitled "Forms of
Writing," has thirty folio pages, and the contents, all in his boyish
handwriting, are sufficiently curious. Amid copied forms of exchange,
bonds, receipts, sales, and similar exercises, occasionally, in ornate
penmanship, there are poetic selections, among them lines of a religious
tone on "True Happiness." But the great interest of the book centres in
the pages headed: "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company
and Conversation." The book had been gnawed at the bottom by Mount
Vernon mice, before it reached the State Archives, and nine of the 110
Rules have thus suffered, the sense of several being lost.

The Rules possess so much historic interest that it seems surprising
that none of Washington's biographers or editors should have given them
to the world. Washington Irving, in his "Life of Washington," excites
interest in them by a tribute, but does not quote even one. Sparks
quotes 57, but inexactly, and with his usual literary manipulation;
these were reprinted (1886, 16°) by W.O. Stoddard, at Denver, Colorado;
and in Hale's "Washington" (1888). I suspect that the old biographers,
more eulogistic than critical, feared it would be an ill service to
Washington's fame to print all of the Rules. There might be a scandal in
the discovery that the military and political deity of America had, even
in boyhood, written so gravely of the hat-in-hand deference due to
lords, and other "Persons of Quality," or had concerned himself with
things so trivial as the proper use of the fork, napkin, and toothpick.
Something is said too about "inferiours," before whom one must not "Act
ag'tt y'e Rules Moral." But in 1888 the Rules were subjected to careful
and literal treatment by Dr. J.M. Toner, of Washington City, in the
course of his magnanimous task of preserving, in the Library of
Congress, by exact copies, the early and perishing note-books and
journals of Washington. This able literary antiquarian has printed his
transcript of the Rules (W.H. Morrison: Washington, D.C. 1888), and the
pamphlet, though little known to the general public, is much valued by
students of American history. With the exception of one word, to which
he called my attention, Dr. Toner has given as exact a reproduction of
the Rules, in their present damaged condition, as can be made in print.
The illegible parts are precisely indicated, without any conjectural
insertions, and young Washington's spelling and punctuation subjected to
no literary tampering.

Concerning the source of these remarkable Rules there have been several
guesses. Washington Irving suggests that it was probably his intercourse
with the Fairfax family, and his ambition to acquit himself well in
their society, that set him upon "compiling a code of morals and
manners." (Knickerbocker Ed. i. p. 30.) Sparks, more cautiously, says:
"The most remarkable part of the book is that in which is compiled a
system of maxims and regulations of conduct, drawn from miscellaneous
sources." (i. p. 7.) Dr. Toner says: "Having searched in vain to find
these rules in print, I feel justified, considering all the
circumstances, in assuming that they were compiled by George Washington
himself when a schoolboy. But while making this claim it is proper to
state, that nearly all the principles incorporated and injunctions,
given in these 110 maxims had been enunciated over and over again in the
various works on good behaviour and manners prior to this compilation
and for centuries observed in polite society. It will be noticed that,
while the spirit of these maxims is drawn chiefly from the social, life
of Europe, yet, as formulated here, they are as broad as civilization
itself, though a few of them are especially applicable to Society as it
then existed in America, and, also, that but few refer to women."

Except for the word "parents," which occurs twice, Dr. Toner might have
said that the Rules contain no allusion whatever to the female sex. This
alone proved, to my own mind, that Washington was in nowise responsible
for these Rules. In the school he was attending when they were written
there were girls; and, as he was rather precocious in his admirations, a
compilation of his own could hardly omit all consideration of conduct
towards ladies, or in their presence. There were other reasons also
which led me to dissent from my friend Dr. Toner, in this instance, and
to institute a search, which has proved successful, for the source of
the Rules of Civility.

While gathering materials for a personal and domestic biography of
Washington,[1] I discovered that in 1745 he was attending school in
Fredericksburg, Virginia. The first church (St. George's) of the infant
town was just then finished, and the clergyman was the Rev. James
Marye, a native of France. It is also stated in the municipal records of
the town that its first school was taught by French people, and it is
tolerably certain that Mr. Marye founded the school soon after his
settlement there as Rector, which was in 1735, eight years after the
foundation of Fredericksburg. I was thus led to suspect a French origin
of the Rules of Civility. This conjecture I mentioned to my friend Dr.
Garnett, of the British Museum, and, on his suggestion, explored an old
work in French and Latin in which ninety-two of the Rules were found.
This interesting discovery, and others to which it led, enable me to
restore the damaged manuscript to completeness.

[Footnote 1: George Washington and Mount Vernon. A collection of
Washington's unpublished agricultural and personal letters. Edited, with
historical and genealogical Introduction, by Moncure Daniel Conway.
Published by the L.I. Historical Society: Brooklyn, New York, 1889.]

The various intrinsic interest of these Rules is much enhanced by the
curious story of their migration from an old Jesuit College in France to
the copy-book of George Washington. In Backer's Jesuit Bibliography it
is related that the "pensionnaires" of the College of La Flèche sent to
those of the College at Pont-à-Mousson, in 1595, a treatise entitled:
"Bienseance de la Conversation entre les Hommes." The great Mussipontane
father at that time was Léonard Périn (b. at Stenai 1567, d. at
Besançon 1658), who had been a Professor of the Humanities at Paris. By
order of Nicolas François, Bishop of Toul, Father Périn translated the
La Flèche treatise into Latin, adding a chapter of his own on behaviour
at table. The book, dedicated to the Bishop of Toul, was first printed
(16°) at Pont-à-Mousson in 1617, (by Car. Marchand). It was printed at
Paris in 1638, and at Rouen in 1631; it was translated into Spanish,
German, and Bohemian. In 1629 one Nitzmann printed the Latin, German,
and Bohemian translations in parallel columns, the German title being
"Wolstand taglicher Gemainschafft mit dem Menschen." A comparison of
this with the French edition of 1663 in the British Museum, on which I
have had to depend, shows that there had been no alteration in Father
Périn's Latin, though it is newly translated. This copy in the library
of the British Museum was printed in Paris for the College of Clermont,
and issued by Pierre de Bresche, "auec privilege du Roy." It is
entitled: "Les Maximes de la Gentillesse et de l'Honnesteté en la
Conversation entre les Hommes. Communis Vitæ inter homines scita
urbanitas. Par un Père de la Compagnie de Jesus."

In dedicating this new translation (1663) to the youth of Clermont,
Pierre de Bresche is severe on the French of the La Flèche
pensionnaires. "It is a novelty surprising enough to find a very
unpolished French book translated into the most elegant Latin ever met
with." M. de Bresche declares that he was no longer able to leave so
beautiful a work in such "abjection," and had added a translation which
preserves the purity of the French tongue, and is proportioned to the
merit of the exquisite Latin expressions. We can hardly suppose that
Pierre de Bresche was eulogising his own work, but there is no other
name in the book. Possibly his criticism on the French of the original
edition was only that of an _editeur_ desiring to supplant it. At any
rate, as Father Périn wrote the elegant Latin we cannot doubt that the
chapter he added to the book was in scholarly French.

The old book of the Jesuit "pensionnaires,"--which, had they not ignored
woman, might be called the mother of all works on Civility,--is charming
as well as curious. It duly opens with a chapter of religious
proprieties, at mass, sacrament, sermon, and grace at meat. The Maxims
of secular civility open with the second chapter, and it will be seen
that they are for the gentry. They are mainly for youths whose
environments are portrayed in the interesting frontispiece of the work,
where they are seen in compartments,--at church, in college, in
conversation, at the fireside, in promenade, and at table. We have
already seen, from Backer's Jesuit bibliography, that Father Léonard
Périn added a chapter on "bienséance" at table; but after this there is
another chapter--a wonderful chapter--and it would be interesting to
learn whether we owe this also to Périn. This last chapter is
exquisitely epicurean, dealing with table-setting, table-service, and
the proper order of entrees, roasts, salads, and dessert. It closes--and
the book closes--with a sort of sugarplum paean, the sweets and spices
being in the end gracefully spiritualised. But this concluding passage
of Chapter XI. ("Des Services & honneurs de la Table") must be quoted:--

     "Sugar-plums complete the pleasantness and enjoyment of the
     dessert, and serve, as it were, to satisfy pleasure. They are
     brought, while the table is still laid, in a handsome box on a
     salver, like those given by the ancients to be carried home.[1]
     Sometimes, also, they are handed round after the hands have been
     washed in rose water, and the table covered with a Turkey cloth.

     "These are riches which we possess in abundance, and your feasts
     cannot terminate more agreeably in your quarters than with our
     Verdun sugar-plums. Besides the exquisite delicacy of their sugar,
     cinnamon and aniseed, they possess a sweet, fragrant odour like the
     breeze of the Canaries,--that is to say, like our sincerest
     attachment for you, of which you will also receive proof. Thus you
     see, then, the courteous advice we have undertaken to give you to
     serve for a profitable entertainment, If you please, then, we will
     bring it to a close, in order to devote ourselves more zealously to
     other duties which will contribute to your satisfaction, and prove
     agreeable to all those who truly esteem good-breeding and decent
     general conversation, as we ardently hope.

     "Praise be to God and to the glorious Virgin!"[2]

       *       *       *       *       *

[Footnote 1: This is not unknown at some of the civic banquets in
London.]

[Footnote 2: "Les dragées acheuent la douceur de la resjoüissance du
dessert & font comme l'assouuissement du plaisir. Elles sont portées
dans vne belle boêtte posées sur vn plat, les tables restans encore
dressées à la façon de celles que les Anciens donnoient à emporter en la
maison. Quelquefois aussi les mains estants desia lauées auec
l'eau-rose, & la table couuerte de son tapis de Turquie, elle sont
presentées.

"Ce sont des richesses que nous possedons en abondance & vos festins ne
se peuuent pas termíner plus agreablement que par nos dragées de Verdun
en vos quartiers. Elles ont parmy les charmantes delicatesses de leur
succre, de leur canelle, & de leur anis, vne douce & suaue odeur qui
égale celles de l'air de nos Canaries, c'est à dire de nos plus sinceres
inclinations en vostre endroit dont vous receuerez de mesme les
tesmoignages. Vous voyez donc icy les advis de la ciuilité que nous
auons entrepris de vous donner, pour vous servir d'vn fructueux
divertissement. Nous les finissons donc si vous le trouuiez agreable,
pour nous porter auec plus de zele aux autres deuoirs qui contribuëront
à vostre satisfaction, & qui seront agreables à touts les veritables
estimateurs de la bien-seance & de l'honnesteté de la conuersation
commune, comme nous le soutraitions auec passion.

"Loüange à Dieu & à la glorieuse Vierge."]

The earlier editions of the book do not appear to have been published
for the outer world, but were printed in the various colleges where they
were used. Another French work on the same subject, but including much
about ladies, published about the year 1773, plagiarises largely from
the Jesuit manual, but does not mention it. It is probable therefore
that the Périn volume was not then known to the general public. The
anonymous book just mentioned was translated into English.[1] Some of
the phraseology of the Perin book, and many of its ideas, appear in a
work of Obadiah Walker, Master of University College, Oxford, on
Education, but it is not mentioned.[2] Eighteen of the Washington Rules,
and an important addition to another, are not among the French Maxims.
Two of these Rules, 24 and 42, are more damaged than any others in the
Washington MS., and I had despaired of discovering their meaning. But
after my translations were in press I learned from Dr. W.C. Minor that
an early English version of the Maxims existed, and in this I have found
additions to the French, work which substantially include those of the
Washington MS. Through this fortunate discovery the Rules of Civility
are now completely restored.

[Footnote 1: "The Rules of Civility, or Certain Ways of Deportment
observed amongst all persons of Quality upon seueral Occasions." The
earliest edition I have found is that of 1678 (in the British Museum
Library), which is said to be "Newly revised and much Enlarged." The
work is assigned a French origin on internal evidence,--e.g., other
nations than France are referred to as "foreign," and "Monsieur" is used
in examples of conversation. The date is approximately fixed as 1673,
because it is said that while it was in press there had appeared "The
Education of a Young Prince." The latter work was a translation of "De
I'education d'un Prince. Par le Sieur de Chanteresne" [P. Nicole], by
Pierre du Moulin, the Younger, and published in London, 1673.]

[Footnote 2: Of Education. Especially of Young Gentlemen. In two Parts.
The Fifth Impression. Oxford: Published at the Theatre for Amos
Custeyne. 1887. [It was anonymous, but is known to be by Obadiah Walker,
Master of University College, Oxford.]]

The version just alluded to purports to be by a child in his eighth
year. It was first printed in 1640 (London), but the earliest edition in
the British Museum, where alone I have been able to find a copy, is that
of 1646, which is described as the fourth edition.[1] The cover is
stamped in gilt, "Gift of G. III." The translations are indeed rude, and
sometimes inaccurate as to the sense, but that they were the unaided
work of a child under eight is one of the "things hard to be believed"
which a Maxim admonishes us not to tell. In the edition of 1651 there is
a portrait of Master Hawkins at the age of eight, and the same picture
appears in 1672 as the same person at ten. Moreover, in an edition of
1663 the "Bookseller," in an address "to the reader," seems rather vague
in several statements. "A counsellor of the Middle Temple, in 1652,
added twenty-five new Precepts marked thus (*) at which time a Gentleman
of _Lincoln's_-Inn turned the Book into Latine." There are, however, in
this edition thirty-one Precepts not in the French work, and of these
twenty-six are in the edition of 1646. The Latin version appended
(signed H.B.) is exactly that of Father Périn, with the exception of a
few words, considerable omissions, and the additional Precepts. The
additions are all evidently by a mature hand.

[Footnote 1: "Youth's Behaviour, or Decency in Conversation amongst
men. Composed in French by grave persons for the Use and benefit of
their youth. Now newly translated into English by Francis Hawkins. The
fourth edition, with the addition of twenty-sixe new Precepts (which are
marked thus *) London. Printed by W. Wilson for W. Lee, and are to be
sold at the _Turks-head_ neere the _Miter Taverne_ in _Fleetstreet_.
1646." There are some lines "In laudem Authoris" by J.S., and the
following:--"Gentle Reader,--Thinke it not amisse to peruse this Peece,
yet connive at the Style: for it hath neede thereof, since wrought by an
uncouth and rough File of one greene in yeares; as being aged under
eight. Hence, worthy Reader, shew not thy self too-too-rigid a Censurer.
This his version is little dignified, and therefore likely will it
appears to thee much imperfect. It ought to be his own, or why under the
Title is his name written? Peradventure thou wilt say, what is it to me?
yet heare: Such is it really, as that I presume the Author may therein
be rendred faithfully: with this courteously be then satisfied.--This
small Treatise in its use, will evidently appear to redound to the
singular benefit of many a young spirit, to whom solely and purposely it
is addressed. Passe it therefore without mistake and candidly."]

With the Hawkins volume of 1663 is bound, in the British Museum Library,
a companion work, entitled, "The second Part of Youth's Behaviour, or
Decency in Conversation amongst Women. 1664." This little book is
apparently by Robert Codrington, whose name is signed to its remarkable
dedicatory letter: "To the Mirrour of her Sex Mrs. Ellinor Pargiter, and
the most accomplished with all reall Perfections Mrs. Elizabeth
Washington, her only Daughter, and Heiress to the truly Honourable
Laurence Washington Esquire, lately deceased."

This was Laurence Washington of Garsden, Wilts., who married Elianor.
second daughter of Wm. Gyse; their only child, a daughter, having
married Robert Shirley, Earl Ferrars. Laurence Washington died Jan. 17,
1662, and his widow married Sir William Pargiter.[1]

[Footnote 1: See "An Examination of the English Ancestry of George
Washington. By Henry F. Waters, A.M., Boston. New England Historic
Genealogical Society, 1889."]

In a letter to the New York _Nation_ (5th June 1890), I said: "Though my
theory, that the Rev. James Marye taught Washington these 'Rules,' has
done good service in leading to the discovery of their origin, it cannot
be verified, unless the clergyman's descendants have preserved papers
in which they can be traced." I have since learned from the family that
no such papers exist. The discovery just mentioned, that a Part Second
of Youth's Behaviour was published in 1664, and dedicated to two ladies
of the Washington family in England, lends force to Dr. Minor's
suggestion that Washington might have worked out his Rules from the
Hawkins version. It would be natural that Part II. so dedicated should
be preserved in the Virginia family, and should be bound up with Part
I., published the year before, as it is bound in the British Museum. It
is certain that one of the later editions of the Hawkins version was
used in the preparation of Washington's "Rules," for the eighteen Rules
not in the French book are all from "Youth's Behaviour" (1663).
Moreover, the phraseology is sometimes the same, and one or two errors
of translation follow the Hawkins version. _E.g._, Maxim ii. 16 begins:
"Prenez garde de vous échauffer trop au jeu, & aux emportements qui s'y
eleuet." The second clause, a warning against being too much carried
away by excitements of play, is rendered by Hawkins, "Contend not, nor
speake louder than thou maist with moderation;" and in the Washington
MS., "affect not to Speak Louder than ordenary."

A careful comparison, however, of Washington's Rules with the Hawkins
version renders it doubtful whether the Virginia boy used the work of
the London boy. The differences are more than the resemblances. If in
some cases the faults of the Washington version appear gratuitous, the
printed copy being before him, on the other hand it often suggests a
closer approach to the French--of which language Washington is known to
have been totally ignorant. As to the faults, where Hawkins says
ceremonies "are too troublesome," Washington says they "is troublesome;"
where the former translates correctly that one must not approach where
"another readeth a letter," Washington has "is writing a letter;" where
he writes "infirmityes" Washington has "Infirmaties;" the printed
"manful" becomes "manfull," and "courtesy" "curtesie." Among the
variations which suggest a more intimate knowledge of French idioms than
that of Hawkins the following may be mentioned. The first Maxim with
which both versions open is: "Que toutes actions qui se font
publiquement fassent voir son sentiment respectueux à toute la
compagnie." Hawkins: "Every action done in view of the world ought to be
accompanied with some signe of reverence which one beareth to all who
are present." Washington: "Every action done in company ought to be with
some sign of respect to those that are present." Here the restoration of
"respectueux," and the limitation of "publiquement" by "compagnie," make
the latter rendering much neater. In Maxim viii. 47, which admonishes
one not to be angry at table, it is said, "bien si vous vous fâchez,"
you are not to show it. Hawkins translates "if so bee thou bee vexed;"
but Washington more finely, "if you have reason to be so, Shew it not."
Or compare the following versions of "Si vous vous reposez chez vous,
ayãt quelque siege, faites en sorte de traiter chacun selõ son merite."
Hawkins: "if there be anything for one to sit on, be it a chair, be it a
stool, give to each one his due." Washington: "when you present seats
let it be to every one according to his degree." Rule 45, for
"moderation et douceur" has "Sweetness and Mildness," Hawkins only
"sweetness." Again: "si vous rencontrez ioliment, si vous donnez quelque
bon-mot, en faisant rire les autres, empeschez-vous-en, le plus qu'il
vous sera possible." Hawkins: "When so it falleth out that thou deliver
some happy lively an jolly conceit abstaine thou, and let others laugh."
Washington: "if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain from
laughing thereat yourself."

Yet how curt is the version last quoted, and how blundering the
sentence! Washington's spelling was always faulty, but it is not
characteristic of him to write "abtain" for "abstain." This is one of
many signs of haste, suggesting that his pen was following oral
instruction. The absence of punctuation is normal; in some cases words
have dropped out: such clerical mistakes occur as "eys," "but" for
"put," "top" for "of," "whth" for "without," and "affection" for
"affectation"--the needed letters being in the last case interlined.
Except as regards punctuation, no similar errors occur in any manuscript
from Washington's hand, either in youth or age. Another reason for
supposing that he may have been following an instructor is the excessive
abbreviation. It was by no means characteristic of Washington to
suppress details, but here his condensation sometimes deprives maxims of
something of their force, if not of their sense. _E.g._, Rule 59: "Never
express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral before your
inferiours." _Cf._ Hawkins: "Never expresse anything unbeseeming, nor
act against the Rules morall, before thy inferiours, for in these
things, thy own guilt will multiply Crimes by example, and as it were,
confirme Ill by authority." And "Shift not yourself in the sight of
others" hardly does duty for the precept, "It is insufferable
impoliteness to stretch the body, extend the arms, and assume different
postures." There are, however, but few instances in which the sense of
the original has been lost; indeed, the rendering of the Washington MS.
is generally an improvement on the original, which is too diffuse, and
even more an improvement on the Hawkins version.

Indeed, although Washington was precocious,--a surveyor at
seventeen,--it would argue qualities not hitherto ascribed to him were
we to suppose that, along with his faulty grammar and spelling, he was
competent at fourteen for such artistic selection and prudent omission
as are shown by a comparison of his 110 Rules with the 170 much longer
ones of the English version. The omission of religious passages, save
the very general ones with which the Rules close, and of all scriptural
ones, is equally curious whether we refer the Rules to young Washington
or to the Rector who taught him. But it would be of some significance if
we suppose the boy to have omitted the precept to live "peeceably in
that vocation unto which providence hath called thee;" and still more
that he should have derived nothing from the following: "Do not think
thou canst be a friend to the King whilst thou art an enemy to God: if
thy crying iniquity should invite God's judgments to the Court, it would
cost thy Soveraigne dear, to give them entertainment." If Washington was
acquainted with Part II. of "Youth's Behaviour," relating to women and
dedicated to ladies of the Washington race, it is remarkable that no
word relating to that sex is found among his Rules.[1]

[Footnote 1: In the edition of Hawkins (1663) bound up with Part II. in
the British Museum (bearing on the cover the name and arms of the
"Hon'ble Thos. Greville") there is just one precept concerning women:
"If thou art yet unmarried, but intendest to get thee a wife modest,
rather than beautiful, meddle not with those Ladies of the Game, who
make pageants of their Cheeks, and Shops of their Shoulders, and
(contrary to all other Trades) keep open their Windows on the
Sabbath-day, impudently exposing their nakedness to the view of a whole
Congregation," &c. There are, in an appendix, pictures of a
puritanically shrouded "Virtue," and a "Vice" who, apart from the
patches on her face, singularly resembles a portrait of pretty Lady
Ferrars in Codrington's book (_ante_, p. 21) ed. 1672.]

On the whole, though it is very uncertain, the balance of probabilities
seems to favour the theory that the Rules of Civility, found in a
copy-book among school exercises, exceedingly abbreviated, and marked by
clerical errors unusual with Washington, were derived from the oral
teachings of his preceptor; that this Frenchman utilised (and was once
or twice misled by) the English version along with the original, which
had been used as a manual in his Rouen College.

The Marie family of Rouen,--from which came the Maryes of Virginia,--is
distinguished both in Catholic and Huguenot annals. Among the eminent
Jesuit authors was Pierre Marie, who was born at Rouen, 1589, and died
at Bourges, 1645. He was author of "La Sainte Solitude; ou les
Entretiens solitaires de l'ame," and of "La Science du Crucifix: en
forme de méditations." The family was divided by the Huguenot movement,
and a Protestant branch took root in England. Concerning the latter,
Agnew (_French Protestant Exiles_, i. p. 100) gives the following
information:--

     "Jean Marie, pasteur of Lion-sur-mer, was a refugee in England from
     the St. Bartholomew massacre. He is supposed to have belonged to
     the same family as the Huguenot martyr, Marin Marie, a native of
     St. George in the diocese of Lisieux. It was in the year 1559 that
     that valiant man, who had become a settler in Geneva, was arrested
     at Sens when on a missionary journey to France, laden with a bale
     of Bibles and New Testaments, and publications for the promotion of
     the Protestant Reformation; he was burnt at Paris, in the place
     Maubert, on the 3d of August of that year. Our pasteur was well
     received in England, and was sent to Norwich, of which city he
     appears to have been the first French minister. He was lent to the
     reformed churches of France when liberty of preaching revived, and
     so returned to Normandy, where we find him in 1583. The first
     National Synod of Vitré held its meetings in that year, between the
     15th and 27th of May. Quick's 'Synodicon' (vol. i. p. 153) quotes
     the following minute:--'Our brother, Monsieur Marie, minister of
     the church of Norwich in England, but living at present in
     Normandy, shall be obliged to return unto his church upon its first
     summons; yet, because of the great success of his ministry in these
     parts, his church may be entreated to continue for some longer time
     his absence from it.' He certainly did return to Norwich, because
     on 29th April 1589 the manuscript Book of Discipline was submitted
     to the consistory for signature; and Jan Marie signed first, and
     his colleague M. Basnage, second. One of his sons, Nathaniel Marie,
     became one of the pasteurs of the London French Church, and married
     1st, Ester, daughter of the pasteur Guillaume De Laune, and 2dly
     (in 1637), Ester le Hure, widow of André Joye. The Norwich pasteur
     had probably another son named after himself, a commercial
     residenter in his native city; for two sons of a Jan Marie were
     baptized in Norwich French Church: (1) Jan on 3d February 1600, and
     (2) Pierre, on 6th July 1602. Madame Marie, probably the pasteur's
     widow, was a witness at the first baptism."

James Marye, with whom we are particularly concerned, sprang from the
Catholic family, and was born at Rouen near the close of the seventeenth
century. He was educated for the priesthood, no doubt at the Jesuit
College in Rouen,--where, as we have seen, Father Périn's book on
manners was printed in 1651. However, James Marye abjured the Catholic
religion in 1726. This caused a breach between himself and the family,
which consisted of a widowed mother and her two other sons,--Peter and
William (the latter an officer), both of whose names however, reappeared
in their protestant brother's family. In consequence of this alienation
James migrated to England, where he pursued his studies, and was
ordained by the Bishop of London. In 1728 he married Letitia Maria Anne
Staige. She was a sister of the Rev. Theodosius Staige, who was already
in Virginia. For that colony the Rev. James Marye also embarked, in
1729, with his bride. Their first child (Lucy) was born during the
voyage.

It would appear that the purpose of this emigration was to minister to a
settlement of French Huguenots at Monacan (or Manakintown, as it was
called) on James River. The first band of these refugees had gone over
in 1690, under the leadership of Olivier de la Muce, and 600 others had
followed in 1699, with their clergyman, Phillipe de Richebourg. The
Assembly of Virginia gave them a large tract of land in Henrico
County--not far from where Richmond now stands--exempting them from
taxation. The name of James Marye first appears in Virginia (1730) as
christening a child in King William Parish, as it was called,--after the
King who had favoured this Huguenot colony.

In 1727 the town of Fredericksburg was founded. In I732 Col. Byrd
visited the place, and wrote: "Besides Col. Willis, who is the top man
of the place, there are only one merchant, a tailor, a smith, an
ordinary keeper, and a lady who acts both as a doctress and
coffeewoman." This "Col. Willis" had married Washington's aunt (and
godmother), and there were other families of the neighbourhood connected
with the Washingtons. It was not until 1739 that Captain Augustine
Washington (the General's father) went to reside near Fredericksburg.
Soon after the birth of George (Feb. 11, 1731 Old Style) the family left
their homestead in Westmoreland county, Virginia, and resided on their
farm, now known as "Mount Vernon." (It was so named by Washington's
elder half-brother, Lawrence, who built the mansion, in 1743-5, in
honour of the English Admiral Vernon, with whom he served as an officer
at Carthagena.) Although he nowhere alludes to the fact, George
Washington's earliest memories, as I have elsewhere shown[1], were
associated with the estate on which he lavished so much devotion, and
which the Ladies' Mount Vernon Association has made his most
characteristic monument. The Rev. Jonathan Boucher, teacher of Mrs.
George Washington's son John Custis, says that Washington was "taught by
a convict servant whom his father had bought for a schoolmaster." This
was probably one of a shipload of convicts brought by Captain Augustine
Washington from England in 1737. When the family removed to the
neighbourhood of Fredericksburg (from which, however, they were
separated by the Rappahannock river), the children went to school
(probably) at Falmouth,--a village fifty years older than
Fredericksburg, and about two miles above, on the opposite side of the
river. A church had been erected in Falmouth (Brunswick parish), but that
in Fredericksburg was not completed until some years later. After the
death of his father (April 12, 1743) George was sent to reside with his
half-brother Augustine, at "Wakefield," the old homestead in
Westmoreland where he was born. He returned to live with his mother near
Fredericksburg, in 1715. That he then went to school in Fredericksburg
appears by a manuscript left by Col. Byrd Willis, grandson of Col. Harry
Willis, founder of the town, in which he states that his father, Lewis
Willis was Washington's schoolmate. The teachers name is not given, but
there can be little doubt that it was James Marye.

[Footnote 1: George Washington and Mount Vernon. Introduction, p.
xxvii.]

The Rev. James Marye's brother-in-law, Rev. Theodosius Staige, had for a
time preached in the temporary structure in which the congregation of
St. George's, Fredericksburg, met before the church was completed. It
was probably during a visit to Mr. Staige that Mr. Marye made an
impression on the people of that place. At any rate the early
Vestry-book shows that, in 1735, the churchwardens, after the colonial
custom, asked leave of the Governor of Virginia to call James Marye to
their pulpit, and it was granted. He is described as "Mr. Marie of St.
James," being then officiating at St James Church, Northam Parish
(Goochland county, Virginia). At what time and why he left Manakintown
is not clear. He fixed his first abode eight miles out of
Fredericksburg, in a place which he called "Fayetteville;" and it is not
improbable that some of his Huguenot congregation had come with him, and
attempted to found there a village. Several infant churches in the
county (Spottsylvania), besides that of Fredericksburg, were under
supervision of the Rector of St. George's Parish.

The Rev. James Marye remained in active and successful ministry at
Fredericksburg from 1735 until his death, in 1767. He founded the large
Virginia family which bears his name, and which has always had eminent
representatives. On his death he was succeeded in St. George's Church,
Fredericksburg, by his son of the same name, whose honourable tradition
was maintained. His great-grandson, John L. Marye,--whose mansion,
"Brompton," stood on "Marye's Heights," so famous in the Civil War,--was
an eminent lawyer; as also is a son of the latter, John L. Marye Jr.,
former Lieutenant-Governor of Virginia.[1]

The founder of the Virginia Maryes, who should be ranked among American
worthies, was an eloquent clergyman, and built up a noble congregation
in Fredericksburg. He was also an accomplished gentleman and a scholar.
That he founded and taught the school is tolerably certain. The
Municipal Records, as we have seen, ascribe the school a French origin.
The name and condition of every respectable resident of Fredericksburg,
at the time of his settling there, when it was little more than a "paper
town" (in colonial phrase), is known. There was in the place no
one--certainly no "Frenchman"--except Marye who could have taught a
school of such importance as that at Fredericksburg. For it presently
became known throughout Virginia as the chief Academy, especially for
classical education, and its reputation continued for more than a
hundred years.[2]

[Footnote 1: For valuable information concerning the Marye family and
its descendants, see Brock's "Huguenot Emigration to Virginia."
(Virginia Hist. Soc., Richmond, 1886.)]

[Footnote 2: In a note I have from John L. Marye (sometime
Lieutenant-Governor of Virginia), he says: "As to the habit of the
Parish Minister to conduct or overlook the schools, it would appear must
probable that this was the case in 1745, when we remember how destitute
at that era colonial society was of well-organized public or private
schools (save the Tutors in families). When I entered Mr. Hanson's
school in 1834, it was the custom of Parson McGuire and some of the
Vestry to attend the annual Examinations."]

Some of the Rules may strike the modern reader as snobbish, even for the
observance of youth. But the originals are in that respect toned down in
Washington's MS. Rule 9 takes no cognizance of the principle of the
original, that to approach nearer the fire than others, and to turn
one's back to it are privileges of persons of rank. The 17th Maxim of
chapter iii., which directed certain kissings of the hands of superiors,
or of the robe, and other abasements, is entirely omitted. Where the
original commands that we should never dispute in any fashion with our
superiors in rank, Rule 34 says we ought not to "begin" with them. The
only thing clear about which is that the instructor did not wish to
admit authority so absolutely into the realm of argument. Rule 46 omits
so much of the original as counsels grateful acceptance of reproof from
another "the more if you depend on his authority." Other instances of
this more liberal tendency will be noticed by those who make a careful
comparison of the Rules and the French Maxims.

Here then are rules of conduct, taught, if my theory be correct, by a
French protestant pilgrim, unknown to fame, in the New World. They were
taught to a small school of girls and boys, in a town of hardly a
hundred inhabitants. They are maxims partly ethical, but mainly relate
to manners and civility; they are wise, gentle, and true. A character
built on them would be virtuous, and probably great. The publisher of
the English version (1665) says that "Mr. Pinchester, a learned scholar
of Oxford," bought 250 copies for a great school he was about to open in
London. Probably the school founded by James Marye was the first in the
New World in which good manners were seriously taught.[1] Nay, where is
there any such school to day?

[Footnote 1: It is probable that Mr. Marye's fine precedent was
followed, to some extent, in the Fredericksburg Academy. The present
writer, who entered it just a hundred years after George Washington
recorded the "Rules," recalls, as his first clear remembrance of the
school, some words of the worthy Principal, Thomas Hanson, on
gentlemanly behaviour. Alluding to some former pupil, who had become
distinguished, he said, "I remember, on one occasion, in a room where
all were gathered around the fire--the weather being very cold--that
some one entered, and this boy promptly arose and gave the new-comer his
seat at the fire. It made an impression on me which I have never
forgotten." And how long have lasted in the memory of the writer hereof
the very words of our teacher's homage to the considerate boy who obeyed
Washington's eighth Rule!]

Just this one colonial school, by the good fortune of having for its
master or superintendent an ex-jesuit French scholar, we may suppose
instructed in civility; and out of that school, in what was little more
than a village, came an exceptionally large number of eminent men. In
that school three American Presidents received their early
education,--Washington, Madison, and Monroe.

It may be pretty confidently stated that both Madison and Monroe owed
their success and eminence more to their engaging manners than to great
intellectual powers. They were even notably deficient in that oratorical
ability which counted for so much in the political era with which they
were connected. They rarely spoke in Congress. When speaking, Madison
was hesitating, and was heard with difficulty; but his quietness and
modesty, his consideration for others, made the eloquent speak for him
Whether these two statesmen were personally taught by James Marye is
doubtful, for he was getting old when they were at school in
Fredericksburg; but we may feel sure that civility was still taught
there in their time, as, indeed it was within the memory of many now
living.

George Washington, though even less able than the two others to speak in
public, had naturally a strong intellect. But in boyhood he had much
more against him than most of his young comrades,--obstructions that
could be surmounted only by character. His father had much land but
little money; at his death (1743,) the lands were left chiefly to his
sons by the first wife. His widow was left poor, and her eldest son,
George, had not the fair prospect of most of his schoolmates. Instead of
being prepared for William and Mary College, he was prepared only for
going into some business as soon as possible, so as to earn support for
his mother and her four younger children. In his old book of
school-exercises, the "Rules of Civility" are found in proximity to
business forms that bear pathetic testimony to the severe outlook of
this boy of fourteen. In the MS. of Col. Byrd Willis, already referred
to (loaned me by his granddaughter, Mrs. Tayloe, of Fredericksburg), he
says: "My father, Lewis Willis, was a schoolmate of General Washington,
his cousin, who was two years his senior. He spoke of the General's
industry and assiduity at school as very remarkable. Whilst his brother
and other boys at playtime were at bandy and other games, he was behind
the door ciphering. But one youthful ebullition is handed down while at
that school, and that was romping with one of the largest girls; this
was so unusual that it excited no little comment among the other lads."
It is also handed down that in boyhood this great soldier, though never
a prig, had no fights, and was often summoned to the playground as a
peacemaker, his arbitration in disputes being always accepted.

Once more it may be well enough to remind the reader that it may yet be
found that Washington, in his mother's humble home on the Rappahannock,
read and pondered "Youth's Behaviour," wrote out what it held for him,
and himself became an instructor of his schoolmates in rules of
civility. It would be wonderful, but not incredible.

Although Washington became a fine-looking man, he was not of
prepossessing appearance in early life; he was lank and hollow-chested.
He was by no means a favourite with the beauties for which
Fredericksburg was always famous, and had a cruel disappointment of his
early love for Betsy Fauntleroy. In his youth he became pitted by
smallpox while attending his invalid half-brother, Lawrence, on a visit
to the Barbadoes.

But the experienced eye of Lord Fairfax, and of other members of the
Fairfax family, had discovered beneath the unattractive appearance of
George Washington a sterling character. Their neighbourhood, on the
upper Potomac, was much less civilised and refined than Fredericksburg,
and this young gentleman, so well instructed in right rules of behaviour
and conduct, won their hearts and their confidence. It had been
necessary that he should leave school at the age of sixteen to earn a
living. At seventeen he was appointed by Lord Fairfax surveyor of his
vast estates in Virginia, and for a time he resided with his lordship at
Greenway Court. There can be little doubt that it was partly through the
training in manners which Washington gained from the old French maxims
that he thus made headway against circumstances, and gained the
friendship of the highly-educated and powerful Fairfax family.

It should be mentioned, however, that young Washington's head was not in
the least turned by this intimacy with the aristocracy. He wrote letters
to his former playmates in which no snobbish line is discoverable. He
writes to his "Dear friend Robin": "My place of residence is at present
at his lordship's where I might, was my heart disengaged, pass my time
very pleasantly, as there's a very agreeable young lady lives in the
same house (Col. George Fairfax's wife's sister). But as that's only
adding fuel to fire, it makes me the more uneasy, for by often and
unavoidably being in company with her revives my former passion for your
Lowland beauty; whereas, was I to live more retired from young women, I
might eleviate in some measure my sorrows by burying that chaste and
troublesome passion in the grave of oblivion or etearnall forgetfulness,
for as I am very well assured, that's the only antidote or remedy that I
ever shall be relieved by or only recess that can administer any cure or
help to me, as I am well convinced, was I ever to attempt anything, I
should only get a denial which would be only adding grief to
uneasiness."

The young lady at Greenway Court was Mary Gary, and the Lowland beauty
was Betsy Fauntleroy, whose hand Washington twice sought, but who became
the wife of the Hon. Thomas Adams. While travelling on his surveys,
often among the red men, the youth sometimes gives vent to his feelings
in verse.

  "Oh Ye Gods why should my Poor resistless Heart
    Stand to oppose thy might and Power
  At last surrender to Cupid's feather'd Dart
    And now lays bleeding every Hour
  For her that's Pityless of my grief and Woes,
    And will not on me Pity take.
  I'll sleep among my most inveterate Foes
    And with gladness never wish to wake,
  In deluding sleepings let my Eyelids close
    That in an enraptured dream I may
  In a rapt lulling sleep and gentle repose
    Possess those joys denied by Day."

And it must also be recorded that if he had learned how to conduct
himself in the presence of persons superior to himself in position, age,
and culture,--and it will be remembered that Lord Fairfax was an able
contributor to the "Spectator" (which Washington was careful to study
while at Greenway,)--this youth no less followed the instruction of his
108th rule: "Honour your natural parents though they be poor." His
widowed mother was poor, and she was ignorant, but he was devoted to
her; being reverential and gracious to her even when with advancing age
she became somewhat morose and exacting, while he was loaded with public
cares.

I am no worshipper of Washington. But in the hand of that man of strong
brain and powerful passions once lay the destiny of the New World,--in a
sense, human destiny. But for his possession of the humility and
self-discipline underlying his Rules of Civility, the ambitious
politicians of the United States might to-day be popularly held to a
much lower standard. The tone of his character was so entirely that of
modesty, he was so fundamentally patriotic, that even his faults are
transformed to virtues, and the very failures of his declining years are
popularly accounted successes. He alone was conscious of his mental
decline, and gave this as a reason for not accepting a third nomination
for the Presidency. This humility has established an unwritten law of
limitation on vaulting presidential ambitions. Indeed, intrigue and
corruption in America must ever struggle with the idealised phantom of
this grand personality.

These Rules of Civility go forth with the hope that they will do more
than amuse the reader by their quaintness, and that their story will
produce an impression beyond that of its picturesqueness. The strong
probabilities that they largely moulded the character of Washington, and
so influenced the human race, may raise the question, whether the old
French Jesuits, and the pilgrim, James Marye, did not possess more truly
than our contemporary educators, the art and mystery of moral education.
In these days, when ethical is replacing theological instruction, in the
home and in the school, there appears danger that it may repeat some of
the mistakes of its predecessor. The failure of what was called
Religion to promote moral culture is now explicable: its scheme of
terror and hope appealed to and powerfully stimulated selfishness, and
was also fundamentally anti-social, cultivating alienation of all who
did not hold certain dogmas. The terrors and hopes having faded away,
the selfishness they developed remains, and is only unchained by the
decay of superstition. On the other hand, the social sentiment has
thrown off sectarian restrictions, and an enthusiasm of humanity has
succeeded. It is now certain that the social instinct is the only one
which can be depended on to influence conduct to an extent comparable
with the sway once exercised by superstitious terrors and expectations
of celestial reward. The child is spiritually a creation of the commune;
there can be no other motive so early responsive as that which desires
the approval and admiration of those by whom it is surrounded.

To attempt the training of human character by means of ethical
philosophy or moral science--as it used to be called--appears to be
somewhat of a theological "survival." When the sanctions of authority
were removed from the pagan deities they were found to have been long
reduced in the nursery to the dimensions of fairies. The tremendous
conceptions of Christian theology may some day be revealed as similarly
diminished in the catechised mind of childhood. And the abstract
principles of ethical philosophy cannot hope for any better fate. The
child's mind cannot receive the metaphysics of virtue. It is impossible
to explain to a child, for instance, the reasons for truthfulness,
which, indeed, have grown out of the experience of the human race as
matured by many ages. And so of humanity to animals, which is mainly a
Darwinian revival of Buddhist sentiment based on a doctrine of
transmigration. And the same may be said of other virtues. We must not
suppose that a child has no scepticism because he cannot express or
explain it in words; it will appear in the sweetness to him of stolen
apples, in the fact that to label a thing "naughty" may only render it
more tempting to a healthy boy. A philosopher said, "A fence is the
temptation to a jump."

Our ethical teaching is vitiated by, an inheritance from theology of a
superstition which subordinates conduct to its motives. Really, if
conduct be good, the motive (generally too complex for even
consciousness to analyse) is of least importance. Motives are important
as causing conduct, but the Law is just in assuming good or bad motives
for the corresponding actions. The world does not depend on a man's
inner but on his outer life. Emerson once scandalised some of his
admirers by saying that he preferred a person who did not respect the
truth to an unpresentable person. But, no doubt, he would regard the
presentable person as possessing virtues of equal importance. The
nurture of "civility and decent behaviour in company and conversation,"
is not of secondary, but primary, importance.

For what does it imply? If the Rules about to be submitted are examined,
it will be found that their practice draws on the whole moral world, as
in walking every step draws on the universal gravitation. Scarcely one
Rule is there that does not involve self-restraint, modesty, habitual
consideration of others, and, to a large extent, living for others. Yet
other Rules draw on the profounder deeps of wisdom and virtue, under a
subtle guise of handsome behaviour. If youth can be won to excellence by
love of beauty, who shall gainsay?

It may occur to the polished reader that well-bred youths know and
practise these rules of civility by instinct. But the best bred man's
ancestors had to learn them, and the rude progenitors of future
gentlemen have to learn them. Can it be said, however, that those deemed
well-bred do really know and practise these rules of civility
instinctively? Do they practise them when out of the region of the
persons or the community in whose eyes they wish to find approval? How
do they act with Indians, Negroes, or when travelling amongst those to
whose good opinion they are indifferent? In a Kentucky court a witness
who had spoken of a certain man as "a gentleman," was pressed for his
reasons, and answered, "If any man goes to his house he sets out the
whisky, then goes and looks out of the window." It is doubtful if what
commonly passes for politeness in more refined regions is equally
humanised with that of the Kentuckian so described. Indeed the only
difficulty in the way of such teaching as is here suggested, is the
degree to which the words "lady" and "gentleman" have been lowered from
their original dignity.

The utilization of the social sentiment as a motive of conduct in the
young need not, however, depend on such terms, though these are by no
means beyond new moralization in any home or school. An eminent
Englishman told me that he once found his little son pointing an old
pistol at his sister. The ancient pistol was not dangerous, but the
action was. "Had I told him it was dangerous," he said, "it might only
have added spice to the thing, but I said, 'I am surprised. I thought
you were a little gentleman, but that is the most ungentlemanly thing
you could do.' The boy quickly laid aside the pistol, with deep shame. I
have found nothing so restraining for my children as to suggest that any
conduct is ungentlemanly or unladylike." And let my reader note well the
great moral principles in these rules of civility and decent behaviour.
The antithesis of "sinfull" is "manfull." Washington was taught that all
good conduct was gentlemanly, all bad conduct ill-bred.

It is to be hoped that the time is not far distant when in every school
right rules of civility will be taught as a main part of the curriculum.
Something of the kind was done by the late Bronson Alcott, in the school
he founded in Boston, Massachusetts, near fifty years ago, for children
gathered from the street. The school was opened every morning with a
"conduct lesson," as it was called. It will be seen by Miss Elizabeth
Peabody's "Records of a School" that the children crowded to the door
before it was, opened in their anxiety not to lose a word of this
lesson. And, rude as most of the children were, this instruction,
consisting of questions and answers, gradually did away with all
necessity for corporal punishments.

It were a noble task for any competent hand to adapt the Rules given in
this volume, and those of the later French work, and still more those of
Master Obadiah Walker's book on "Education," to the conditions and ideas
of our time, for the use of schools. From the last-named work, that of a
Master of University College, Oxford, I will take for my conclusion a
pregnant passage.

     "The greatest _Magnetismes_ in the World are _Civility_, Conforming
     to the innocent humours, and infirmities, sometimes, of others,
     readiness to do courtesies for all, Speaking well of all behind
     their backs. And sly _Affability_, which is not only to be used in
     common and unconcerning speech, but upon all occasions. A man may
     deny a request, chide, reprehend, command &c. _affably_, with good
     words, nor is there anything so harsh which may not be
     inoffensively represented."


NOTE.

There has been no alteration of the original French and English
documents in the pages following. The spelling, punctuation, use of
small or capital letters, italics, etc., whether faults or archaisms,
are strictly preserved.

The word 'Maxim' refers to the early French work (of the Jesuit
Fathers). 'Rule' refers to Washington's MS.

'Hawkins' indicates the English version of the Maxims, chiefly the
anonymous additions thereto. See p. 19.

'Walker' refers to Obadiah Walker's work on Education, spoken of on p.
18.

'The later French book' refers to the anonymous work of 1673, translated
into English, mentioned on p. 17.




1st. Every Action done in Company ought to be with Some Sign of Respect,
to those that are Present.

MAXIMES, CHAP. II.

     Chapter ii. 1. Que toutes actions qui se font publiquement fassent
     voir son sentiment respectueux à toute la compagnie.

     All actions done before others should be with some sign of
     respectful feeling to the entire company.


2d. When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body not
usually Discovered.

     Chapter ii. 3. Gardez-vous bien de toucher de la main aucune partie
     de vostre corps, de celles qui ne sont point en veuë, en la
     presence d'aucune autre personne. Pour les mains, & le visage, cela
     leur est ordinaire. Et afin de vous y accoustumer pratiquez ce
     poinct de ciuilité mesme en vostre particulier.

     In the presence of any one, never put your hand to any part of the
     person not usually uncovered. As for the hands and face they are
     usually visible. In order to form a habit in this point of decency,
     practise it even when with your intimate friend.


3d. Shew Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.

     Chapter ii. 4. Ne faites pas voir a vostre compagnon, ce qui luy
     pourroit faire mal au coeur.

     Show nothing to your companion that may grieve him.


4th. In the Presence of Others sing not to yourself with a humming
Noise, nor Drum, with your Fingers or Feet.

     Chapter ii. 5. Ne vous amusez pas à chanter en vous mesme, si vous
     ne vous rencontrez si fort à l'écart qu'aucun autre ne vous puisse
     entendre, non plus qu'à contre-faire le son du tambour par
     l'agitation des pieds ou des mains.

     Do not seek amusement in singing to yourself, unless beyond the
     hearing of others, nor drum with your hands or feet.


5th. If you Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud, but Privately;
and Speak not in your Yawning, but put your handkerchief or Hand before
your face and turn aside.

     Chapter ii. 8. Quand vous toussez ou quand vous esternuez, si vous
     pouuez estre le maistre de ces efforts de nature, n'éclatez pas si
     hautement & si fort. Ne poussez soûpirs si aigres que les autres
     les puissent entendre.

     9. Ne soufflez pas si asprement, faisant des hurlements en
     baaillant. Et s'il vous est possible, empeschez vous absolum[=e]t
     de baailler; mais ayez en un bien plus soin, quand vous entretenez
     avec quelqu'vn, ou dans quelque conuersation. Car c'est un signe
     manifest d'un certain dégoust de ceux avec qui vous vivez. Si vous
     ne pouvez pas empescher de baailler, du moins gardez vous bien de
     parler en cet instant mesme, & d'ouurir extraordinairem[=e]t la
     bouche; mais pressez la sagement, ou en détournant tant soi peu la
     face de la cõpagnie.

[Sidenote: The later French book advises one, in sneezing, not to shake
the foundations of the house.]

     Whenever you cough or sneeze, if you can control these efforts of
     nature, do not let the sound be high or strong. Do not heave sighs
     so piercing as to attract attention. Do not breathe heavily, or
     make noises in yawning. If you can, abstain from yawning,
     especially while with any one, or in conversation. For it is a
     plain sign of a certain dislike of those with whom you dwell. If
     you cannot keep from yawning, at least be careful not to speak
     while doing so, and not to gape excessively; press your mouth
     adroitly or n turning a little from the company.


6th. Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not
when you should hold your Peace, walk not when others Stop

     Chapter ii. 11. C'est vne inciuilité & vne impertinence de dormir,
     pendant que la cõpagnie s'entretient de discours; de se tenir assis
     lors que tout le monde est debout, de se promener lors que personne
     ne branle, & de parler, quãd il est temps de se taire ou d'écouter.
     Pour celuy toutesfois qui a l'authorité, il y a des temps & des
     lieux où il luy est permis de se promener seul, comme à un
     Precepteur qui est dans la classe.

     It is an incivility and an impertinence to doze while the company
     is conversing, to be seated while the rest stand, to walk on when
     others pause, and to speak when you should be silent, or listen.
     For those in authority, as a Master in school, there are times and
     places when it is admissible to walk alone.


7th. Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out of
your Chamber half Drest.

     Chapter ii. 12. Il n'est pas seant d'auoir son liet en mauuais
     ordre dans sa chambre, non plus que de s'habiller en la presence
     des autres, ou de s'y dépoüiller, ou de sortir de sa mesme chambre
     à demy habillé, couuert de sa coiffe, ou bonnet-de-nuiet, de rester
     debout en sa chãbre ou estre attaché à son pulpitre auec sa robe
     ouverté. Et quoy que vous ne manquiez pas de serviteur qui prenne
     le soin de faire vostre liet; toutesfois en sortant, prenez garde
     de le laisser découvert.

     It is not seemly to leave your bed disarranged, to dress or undress
     before others, or to leave your chamber half-dressed, covered with
     a hood, or night-cap, or to remain standing in your room or at your
     desk with open gown. And although you have a servant to make your
     bed, nevertheless, take care when you go out to leave it uncovered.


8th. At Play and at Fire its Good manners to give Place to the last
Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than ordenary.

     Chapter ii. 15. Il est mal-seant, dans le jeu, ou aupres du feu de
     faire attendre trop long-temps ceux qui viennent à s'y presenter.

     It is impolite at play, or at the fireside, to make the new-comers
     wait for places too long.

     _(In the second clause, "affect not" &c., the Washington MS.
     follows Hawkins in misunderstanding a phrase of the next Maxim:
     "Prenez garde de vous échauffer trop au jeu, & aux emportements qui
     s'y eleu[~e]t,"--a warning against being overheated at play, and
     "carried away by its excitements.")_


10th. When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting
one on the other or Crossing them

     Chapter ii. 18. Pour l'ordre que l'on doit tenir étant assis, c'est
     de placer bien ses pieds à terre en égale distance que les cuisses,
     non pas de croiser vne cuisse ou vn pied sur l'autre.

     When seated, the feet should be placed well on the ground, in even
     distance with the legs, and neither a leg or a foot should be
     crossed on the other.


11th. Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.

     Chapter ii. 7. C'est vne inciuilité insupportable d'allonger son
     corps en estendant les bras, ou de faire differents postures.

     Chapter iii. 19. Il ne faut iamais rogner ses ongles dans le
     public, & bien moins les prendre à beiles dents.

     It is insufferably impolite to stretch the body, extend the arms,
     or to assume different postures.

     Do not pare your nails in public, much less gnaw them.


12th. Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eys, lift not one
eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face
with your Spittle, by appr[oaching too nea]r [when] you Speak.

     Chapter ii. 21. Vous ne hocherez la teste, vous ne remuerez point
     les jambes, ny ne roüillerez les yeux, ne froncerez point les
     sourcils, ou tordrez la bouche. Vous vous garderez de laisser aller
     auec vos paroles de la saliue, ou du crachat aux visages de ceux,
     auec qui vous conversez. Pour obvier à cét accident, vous ne vous
     en approcherez point si prés; mais vous les entretiendrez dans vne
     distãce raisonnable.

     Shake not the head, nor fidget the legs, nor roll the eyes, nor
     frown, nor make mouths. Be careful not to let saliva escape with
     your words, nor any spittle fly into the faces of those with whom
     you converse. To avoid such accident do not approach them too near,
     but keep at a reasonable distance.


13th Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if
you See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it if
it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if
it be upon your own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off

     Chapter ii. 22. Gardez vous bié de vous arrester à tuër vne puce,
     ou quelque sale bestiole de cette espece, en presence de qui que a
     puisse estre. Que si quelque chose d'immòde vient à vous offenser
     la veuë, en regardant à terre, comme quelque crachat infect, ou
     quelque autre chose semblable, mettez le pied dessus. S'il en
     attache quelque'vne aux habits de celuy à qui vous parlez, ou
     voltige dessus, gardez vouz bien de la luy monstrer, ou à
     quelqu'autre personne; mais trauaillez autant que vous pourrez à
     l'oster adroitement. Et s'il arriue que quelqu'vn vous oblige tant
     que de vous défaire de quelque chose de semblable, faites luy
     paroistre vostre reconnoissance.

     Do not stop to kill a flea, or other disgusting insect of the kind,
     in the presence of any one. If anything disgusting offends the
     sight on the ground, as phlegm, etc., put your foot on it. If it be
     on any garment of one to whom you are talking, do not show it to
     him or another, but do your best to remove it unobserved. If any
     one oblige you in a thing of that kind make him your
     acknowledgments.


14th. Turn not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the
Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes lean not upon any one.

     Chapter ii. 24. En la rencontre que l'on fait des personnes, quand
     on les entretient, c'est une chose malseante de leur tourner le dos
     & les épaules. C'est vne action impertinente de heurter la table ou
     d'ébranler le pupitre, dont vn autre se sert pour lire, ou pour
     écrire. C'est vne inciuilité de s'appuyer sur quelqu'vn, de tirer
     sa robbe, lors que l'on luy parle ou que l'on le peut entretenir.

     When one meets people, it is very unbecoming in speaking to them to
     turn one's back and shoulders to them. It is an impertinent action
     to knock against the table, or to shake the desk, which another
     person is using for reading or writing. It is uncivil to lean
     against any one, or to pluck his dress when speaking to him, or
     while entertaining him in conversation.


15th. Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean,
yet without Shewing any great Concern for them

     Chapter ii. 25. Gardez vous bien de vous arrester en toute sorte de
     conuersation, à rajuster vostre rabat, ou à rehausser vos chausses
     pour les faire ioindre & en paroitre plus galaud. Que vos ongles ne
     soient point replis d'ordures, ny trop longs. Ayez grand soin de la
     netteté de vos mains; mais n'y recherchez point la volupté.

[Sidenote: Hawkins: "without overmuch attendance thereon or curiosity."]

     Take good care not to stop, in any sort of conversation, to adjust
     your bands, or to pull up your stockings to make them join so as to
     look more gallant. Do not let your nails be full of dirt or too
     long. Have a great regard for the cleanliness of your hands, but do
     not be finikin about it.


16th. Do not puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands,
or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the lips too open or
too close.

     Chapter ii. 26. C'est une vilainie de s'enfler les joües, de tirer
     la langue, de se manier la barbe, se frotter les mains, d'estendre
     ses levres ou les mordre, de les tenir trop serrées ou trop
     entrouuertes.

     It is very low to puff out the cheeks, to put out the tongue, to
     pull one's beard, rub one's hands, poke out or bite the lips, or to
     keep them too tightly closed or too open.


17th. Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be
Play'd Withal.

     Chapter ii. 27. Ne flattez & n'amadoüez personne par belles
     paroles, car celui qui pretend d'en gagner un autre par les
     discours emmiellez, fait voir qu'il n'en a pas grande estime, &
     qu'il le tient pour peu sensé & adroit, dés qu'il le prend pour vn
     hõme que l'on peut ioüer en cette maniere: n'usez point de
     gausseries auprés d'vne personne qui s'en offense.

     Do not flatter or wheedle any one with fair words, for he who
     aspires to gain another person by his honied words shows that he
     does not hold him in high esteem and that he deems him far from
     sensible or clever, in taking him for a man who may be tricked in
     this manner: do not play practical jokes on those who do not like
     it.


18th. Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a
Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the
Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give
your opinion of them unask'd also look not nigh when another is writing
a Letter

     Chapter ii. 28. C'est vne action directement opposée à la
     bien-séance, de lire quelque livre, quelques lettres ou autres
     choses semblables dans vne conversation ordinaire, si ce n'est en
     vne affaire pressante, ou pour quelque peu de moments; & mesme
     encore en ce cas, est-il à propos d'en demander la permission, si
     vous n'estes, possible, le Superieur de la compagnie. C'est encore
     pis de manier les ouvrages des autres, leurs livres, & d'autres
     choses de cette nature, de s'y attacher, d'en approcher la veuë de
     plus prés, sans la permission de celuy à qui la chose appartient,
     aussi bien que de leur donner des loüanges, ou les censurer, auant
     que l'on vous en demande vostre sentiment; de s'approcher trop
     prés, & d'incommoder celuy de qui ou est voisin, lors qu'il prend
     la lecture de ses lettres ou de quelqu'-autre chose.

     It is an act directly opposed to politeness to read a book, letters
     or anything else during ordinary conversation, if it be not a
     pressing matter, or only for a few moments, and even in that case
     it is proper to ask leave unless you are, possibly, the highest in
     rank of the company. It is even worse to handle other people's
     work, their books or other things of that nature, to go close to
     them, to look at them closely without the permission of the owner,
     and also to praise or find fault with them before your opinion has
     been asked; to come too close to any one near by, when he is
     reading his letters or anything else.


19th let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat
grave

     Chapter ii. 29. Que le visage ne paroisse point fantastique,
     changeant, égaré, rauy en admiration, couuert de tristesse, divers
     & volage, & ne fasse paroître aucun signe d'vn esprit inquiet: Au
     contraire, qu'il soil ouuert & tranquille, mais qu'il ne soit pas
     trop épanoüy de joye dans les affaires serieuses, ny trop retiré
     par vne grauité affectée dans la conversation ordinaire & familiere
     de la vie humaine.

     The face should not look fantastic, changeable, absent, rapt in
     admiration, covered with sadness, various and volatile, and it
     should not show any signs of an unquiet mind. On the contrary, it
     should be open and tranquil, but not too expansive with joy in
     serious affairs, nor too self-contained by an affected gravity in
     the ordinary and familiar conversation of human life.


20th The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are
upon

     Hawkins i. 30. Let the gestures of thy body, be agreeable to the
     matter of thy discourse. For it hath been ever held a solaesime in
     oratory, to poynt to the Earth, when thou talkest of Heaven.

     _(The nearest Maxim to this is one directed against excessive and
     awkward gesticulation in speaking, in which it is said: "Parmy les
     discours regardez à mettre vostre corps en belle posture" (While
     speaking be careful to assume an elegant posture)._ 21st. Reproach
     none for the Infirmaties of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that
     have in mind thereof.)

     Chapter iv. 6. Ne reprochez les défauts à personne, non pas mesme
     de la nature, & ne prenez plaisir à faire confusion à qui que ce
     soit, par vos paroles.

[Sidenote: Hawkins adds: "which by no Art can be amended."]

     Reproach none for their Infirmities--avoid it equally when they are
     natural ones--and do not take pleasure in uttering words that cause
     any one shame, whoever it may be.


22d. Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were
your enemy

     Hawkins i. 32. When thou shalt heare the misfortunes of another,
     shew not thy selfe gladed for it, though it happ to thy enemy, for
     that will argue a mind mischievous, and will convict thee of a
     desire to have executed it thy selfe, had either power or
     opertunity seconded thy will.

     _(Nothing corresponding to Rule 22 is found among the Maxims of the
     Jesuit fathers; but the later French book has the following: "Shew
     not your self joyful and pleased at the misfortunes that have
     befallen another, though you hated him, it argues a mischievous
     mind, and that you had a desire to have done it your self, if you
     had had the power or opportunity to your will.")_ 23d. When you see
     a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew
     Pity to the Suffering Offender.

     Hawkins i. 33. When thou seest justice executed on any, thou maist
     inwardly take delight in his vigilancy, to punish offenders,
     because it tends to publique quiet, yet shew pity to the offender,
     and ever Constitute the defect of his morality, thy precaution.


[Sidenote: This Rule has been nearly destroyed by mice.]

[24th. Do not laugh too loud or] too much at any Publick [spectacle,
lest you cause yourself to be laughed at.]

     Hawkins i. 34. Laugh not too much or too Loud, in any publique
     spectacle least for thy so doing, thou present thy selfe, the only
     thing worthy to be laughed at.


25th. Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremony are to be
avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected

     Chapter iii. 1. Quoy qu'il soit bon de s'épargner vn trop grand
     soing de pratiquer vne ciuilité affectée, il faut pourtant estre
     exact à en obseruer ce qui est necessaire & auantageux pour faire
     paroistre une belle éducation, & ce qui ne se peut obmettre sans
     choquer ceux auec qui l'on converse.

     Though it is right to avoid too great care in practising an
     affected civility, yet one must be exact in observing what is
     necessary and advantageous in order to show a good education, and
     all that cannot be omitted without shocking those with whom one is
     conversing.


26th. In pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen,
Justices, Churchmen, &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less according
to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Persons. Amongst
your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but
to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner
of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.

     Chapter iii. 2. Témoignez vos respects aux hommes illustres &
     honorables, le chappeau en la main, comme aux Ecclesiastiques, ou
     aux Magistrats, ou à quelques autres personnes qualifiées; en
     tenant vers vous le dedans du chappeau que vous aurez osté: Faites
     leur aussi la reverence par quelque inclination de corps, autant
     que la dignité de chacun d'eux, & la belle coûtume des enfants bien
     nourris, le semble exiger. Et comme c'est vne chose fort inciuile
     de ne se pas découurir devant ceux à qui l'on doit ce respect, pour
     les saluër, ou d'attendre que vostre égal vous rend le premier ce
     deuoir; aussi de le faire, quand il n'est pas à propos, ressent sa
     ciuilité affectée: mais c'est vne honteuse impertinence de prendre
     garde si l'on vous rend vostre salutation. Au reste pour saluër
     quelqu'vn de parole, ce compliment semble le plus propre, qui est
     vsité par personnes le plus polies.

     Show your respect for illustrious and honourable men,--such as
     Ecclesiastics, Magistrates, or other persons of quality,--hat in
     hand, holding the inside of the removed hat towards you; make your
     reverence to them by inclining your body as much as the dignity of
     each and the custom of well-bred youth seems to demand. And, as it
     is very rude not to uncover the head before those to whom one owes
     such respect, in order to salute them, or to wait till your equal
     should perform this duty towards you first, so also, to do it when
     it is not fitting savours of affected politeness: but it is
     shameful impertinence to be anxious for the return of one's salute.
     Finally, it seems most fitting to salute any one in words, a
     compliment which the politest persons are in the habit of using.


27th. Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered
as well as not to do it to whom it's due. Likewise he that makes too
much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at
the first, or at most the Second time of being ask'd; now what is herein
Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be
observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without
Bounds is troublesome.

     Chapter iii. 3. C'est une grande inciuilité d'entreprendre de prier
     vn superieur de se couurir, aussi bien que de n'en pas supplier
     celuy à qui cela se peut faire. Et celuy qui se haste trop de se
     couurir, particulierement en parlant à quelque personne qualifiée,
     ou qui pressé par plusieurs fois de ce faire, le refuse, choque la
     bienscéance; c'est pour cela qu'à la 1. ou 2. fois il est permis de
     se couurir, si l'vsage ne se trouue contraire en quelque Prouince
     ou Royaume. Et en effet entre les égaux, ou auec de plus âgez, soit
     Religieux, ou domestiques, il est permis d'accorder cette requeste
     à vn égal ou à vn plus ieune, dés la 1. fois. Toutefois ceux qui
     sõt égaux, ou fort péu differents les vns des autres, ont coustume
     de se faire cette priere, & de se couurir tout ensemble. Toutes les
     remarques donc qui se sont faites icy de la bonne conduite, doiuent
     estre aussi entenduës de l'ordre qu'il faut tenir à prendre place,
     & à s'asseoir: car le plaisir que l'on prend aux ciuilitez & aux
     complimens, est tout à fait importun.

     It is very impolite to ask a superior to be covered, as it is not
     to do so in the case of one with regard to whom it is proper. And
     the man who is in haste to put his hat on, especially in talking to
     a person of quality, or who, having been urged several times to do
     so, refuses, shocks good manners; for this reason, after the first
     or second request, it is allowable to put the hat on, unless in
     some province or kingdom where the usage is otherwise. In fact,
     amongst equals, or with those who are older, or who belong to
     religious orders, or domestics, it is allowable to grant that
     request to one's equal or to a younger man, at the very first time.
     However, those of equal rank, or between whom there is little
     difference of rank, usually make the request and put on their hats
     at the same time. All the remarks here made on polite conduct, must
     also be extended to the order to be observed in taking places, and
     in sitting down; for the pleasure taken in ceremonies and
     compliments is really irksome.


28th. If any one come to Speak to you while you are Sitting Stand up tho
he be your Inferiour, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one
according to his Degree.

     Chapter iii. 5. Si vous estes assis, lors que quelq'vn vous vient
     rendre visite, leuez-vous dés qu'il approche; si la dignité de la
     personne demande cette deference, comme s'il a quelque aduantage
     sur vous, s'il vous est égal, ou inferieur; mais non pas fort
     familier. Si vous vous reposez chez vous, ayant quelque siege,
     faites en soite de traiter chacun selon son merite.

     If you are sitting down when any one pays you a call rise as soon
     as he comes near; whether his position demands that deference, as
     having precedence over you, or if he be your equal, or inferior;
     but not if he is on very intimate terms with you. If you are in
     your own house, having any seat to offer, manage to treat each
     guest according to his station.


29th. When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and
retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way
for him to Pass

     Chapter iii. 6. Quand vous rencontrez des personnes à qui vous
     deuez du respect, outre les devoirs d'vne salutation ordinaire,
     vous estes obligé de vous arrester quelque peu de temps, ou de
     rebrousser chemin jusqu'à l'entrée des portes, ou aux coins des
     ruës, pour leur donner passage.

[Sidenote: Walker says, "If you meet a superior in a narrow way, stop,
and press to make him more room."]

     In meeting those to whom you should shew respect beyond the
     salutations which are their due, you should stop a little, or
     retreat to a threshold, or to the corner of the street, so as to
     make way for them.


30th. In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the
right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire
to Honour: but if three walk together the middle Place is the most
Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk
together.

     Chapter iii. 7. S'il arriue que vous faciez la promenade auec eux,
     vous leur laisserez tousiours la place honorable, qui est celle qui
     sera marquée par l'vsage. A parler generalement, il semble que
     plusieurs Nations ont passé en coustume que la droite soit tenuë
     pour vne marque de reuerence, de telle soit, que quand quelq'vn
     veut deferer à un autre, il le mette à sa droicte, en prenant sa
     gauche. Lors que trois hommes se promenent ensemble, le plus
     qualifié a tousiours le milieu: Celuy qui tient la droite, a le
     second lieu, & l'autre qui reste à la gauche, n'a que le troisiéme.
     Mais en France, quand l'on se promene au long d'vn mur; par ce que
     ce lieu est presque toujours plus eleué & plus net à cause de sa
     pente, la coûtume porte presque par tout qu'elle soit laissée au
     plus qualifié, & particulierement quand deux personnes marchent
     ensemble.

     If you happen to take a walk with them, always give them the place
     of honour, which is that pointed out by usage. To speak generally,
     it appears that several nations have made it a custom that the
     right should always be held as a mark of esteem, so that, when any
     one wishes to honour another, he will put him on his right, himself
     taking the left. When three are walking together, he of the highest
     quality always has the middle: he who takes the right has the
     second place, and the other who remains on the left has the third.
     But in France, when walking by the side of a wall, that place being
     almost always higher and cleaner because of the slope, the custom
     almost always is that it be yielded to the man of the highest
     quality, and particularly when two are walking together.


31st. If any one far Surpasses others, either in age Estate, or Merit
[yet, in any particular instance,] would give Place to a meaner than
himself [in his own house or elsewhere] the one ought not to except it,
So [the other, for fear of making him appear uncivil, ought not to
press] it above once or twice.

     Chapter iii. 9. Si celuy qui se trouuera beaucoup plus avancé en
     âge, ou auantagé en dignité, soit en sa maison ou en quelqu'autre
     lieu, veut honorer son inferieur, comme il n'est pas à propos que
     cet inferieur s'en estime digne, de mesme aussi ne faut-il pas que
     celuy qui est superieur, l'en presse auec trop de soin, ou luy
     témoigne sa deference plus d'vne ou deux fois, de crainte que
     l'assiduité de sa supplication reïterée ne rabatte quelque chose de
     la bonne opinion que celuy qui le refuse, avoit conceu de son
     addresse & de sa courtoisie, ou qu'il luy fasse commettre enfin une
     inciuilité.

     If he who is much the older, or has the advantage of rank, wishes,
     in his house or elsewhere, to honour his inferior, as it is not
     fitting that such inferior should think himself worthy, so also the
     superior must not press him too much or show such deference more
     than once or twice, lest the assiduity of his reiterated requests
     lower somewhat the good opinion which he who refuses, had conceived
     of his tact and courtesy, or lest, at last, it cause him to be
     guilty of some incivility.


32d. To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the
chief Place in your Lodging and he to who 'tis offered ought at the
first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without
acknowledging his own unworthiness

     Chapter iii. 10. Mais entre les égaux, il est bien à propos en
     receuant quelqu'vn dans sa maison, de luy donner la place la plus
     honnorable. Et celuy à qui l'on fait un sì bon accueil, en doit
     faire quelque refus d'abord, mais à la seconde instance de son amy,
     il luy doit obeyr.

[Sidenote: Maxim iii. 8, which says that acceptance of a first place
should be accompanied by an acknowledgement of unworthiness, is
represented in the last words of Rule 32.]

     But amongst equals, it is quite right, in receiving any one into
     one's house, to give him the most honourable place; and the person
     to whom one accords such a good reception ought at first rather to
     refuse it, but, when his friend insists a second time, he ought to
     obey him.


33d. They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places
Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that
are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick
charge.

     Chapter iii. 12. A ceux qui out le cõmandement, & qui sont dans le
     pouuoir, ou qui exercent les Charges de Judicature, l'on donne
     tousiours les premieres places en toute sorte de compagnie. Mais
     qu'ils sçachent eux-mesmes que s'ils sont jeunes, ils sont obligez
     de respecter ceux qui sont d'aussi noble maison qu'eux, on qui les
     deuancent de beaucoup en âge, & sont honorez du degré de Doctorat;
     quoy qu'ils n'exercent aucune charge publique; Et bien plus, ils
     leur doiuent d'abord remettre la premiere place qu'il leur auoient
     deferé, & en suitte auec modestie, receuoir cest honneur comme une
     grace.

[Sidenote: The second clause is not in the French Maxims.]

     In every company the first place is always given to those in
     command, or in power, or who exercise judicial charges. But these,
     if young, should realise that they ought to respect those who
     belong to houses as noble as their own, or who are much older, and
     those honoured with the degree of Doctor, though not exercising any
     public function; and moreover they ought, at first, to return an
     offer of the highest place, and afterwards receive that honour
     modestly, as a favour.


34th. It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we speak before
ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought
to begin.

     Chapter iii. 13. Il est de la derniere ciuilité de parler tousiours
     mieux de ceux auec qui nous avons à conuerser, que de vous mesmes:
     Et particulieremet quãd ce sont des personnes éleuées audessus de
     nous, auec qui il ne faut iamais contester en aucune maniere.

[Sidenote: Compare the last clause of this Maxim with Rule 40.]

     It is the height of politeness always to speak better of those with
     whom we have to converse than of ourselves. And particularly when
     they are persons of a superior rank to ourselves, with whom we
     ought never to dispute in any fashion.


35th. Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and
Comprehensive.

     Chapter iii. 15. Le temps & le lieu, l'âge & la difference des
     personnes doivent regler tout cét vsage de compliments qui se fait
     parmy les plus polis, & particulierement ceux qui consistent dans
     les paroles. Mais l'on doit trancher court auec les personnes
     affairées & ne leur presenter plus aux nez toutes ses agreables
     fleurettes: il les faut épargner, & se faire entendre plustost par
     mines, qu'auec des paroles.

     Time and place, age and the difference between persons, ought to
     regulate the whole custom of compliments as is done amongst the
     most polite, especially compliments that consist in words. But one
     should cut matters short with men of business, and not put one's
     fine flowerets under their nose; one should spare them, and make
     himself understood rather by looks than words.


36th. Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many
ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly
Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with
affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy

     Chapter iii. 16. Comme le soin de la ciuilité la plus raffinée ne
     doit pas beaucoup trauailler les esprits des Artisants & de la lie
     du peuple enuers les Grands & les Magistrats; aussi est-il
     raisonnable qu'ils ayent soin de leur rendre de l'honneur: de mesme
     il est à propos que la Noblesse les traitte [_sic_] doucement & les
     épargne, & qu'elle éuite toute sorte de superbe.

     As the care for the most refined politeness ought not to trouble
     much the minds of artizans and of the dregs of the people, as
     regards Nobles and Magistrates, while it is reasonable that they
     should take care to honour such, so it is also right that the
     nobility should treat them gently, spare them, and avoid all manner
     of arrogance.


37th. In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in
the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.

     Chapter iii. 18. En parlant aux personnes qualifiées, ne vous
     appuyez point le corps; ne leuez point vos yeux iusques sur leur
     visage; ne vous en approchez pas trop prés, & faites en sorte que
     ce ne soit iamais qu'à vn grãd pas de distance.

     In speaking to persons of quality, do not lean your body on any
     thing; do not raise your eyes to their face; do not go too near,
     and manage to keep a full step from them.


38th. In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you
be not Knowing therein.

     Chapter iii. 19. Quãd vous visiterez quelque malade, ne faites pas
     aussi-tost le Medicin, si vous n'estes point experimenté en cette
     science.

     When you go to see any sick person do not immediately act the
     physician if you are not experienced in that science.


39th. In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title
According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.

     Chapter iii. 20. Lors que vous addresserez des lettres à des
     personnes qui seront dans l'estime publique; vous vous gouuernerez
     aupres d'eux, selon la coustume du pays & le degré de leur dignité.
     Quand vous aurez acheué vos lettres, relisez-les, pour en oster les
     fautes; mettez de la poudre sur l'escriture, lors qu'il en sera
     besoin & ne pliez iamais vostre papier que les characteres ne
     soient bien desechez, de crainte qu'ils ne s'effacent.

     In addressing letters to persons held in public esteem, you will be
     regulated by the Customs of the country and the degree of their
     dignity. When you have finished your letters, read them over again
     so as to correct mistakes; sand the writing, when necessary, and
     never fold your paper until the letters are quite dry, lest they be
     effaced.


40th. Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your
Judgment to others with Modesty

     Hawkins ii. 20. Strive not with thy Superiours, in argument or
     discourse, but alwayes submit thy opinion to their riper judgment,
     with modesty; since the possibility of Erring, doth rather
     accompany greene than gray hairs.


41st. Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself Professes; it
flavours of arrogancy.

     Hawkins ii. 21. Doe not undertake to teach thy equal, in the Art
     himself professeth, for that will savour of Arrogancy, and serve
     for little other than to brand thy judgment with Rashnesse.

     _(Nothing has been found in the French Maxims resembling Rule 41.
     Walker has the following: "Cautious also must be he who discourseth
     even of that he understands amongst persons of that profession: an
     affectation that more Scholars than wise men are guilty of; I mean
     to discourse with every man in his own faculty; except it be by
     asking questions and seeming to learn" (p. 266))._


[42d. Let your ceremonies in] curtesie be proper to the Dignity of his
place [with whom you converse; it is absurd to ac]t ye same with a Clown
and a Prince.

     Hawkins ii. 22. Let thy Seremonyes in Courtesy be proper to the
     dignity and place, of him with whom thou conversest. For it is
     absurd to honour a Clown with words courtly and of magnificence.


43d. Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary
Passion will aggravate his Misery

     Hawkins ii. 23. Do not thou expresse joy before one sick, or in
     paine; for that contrary passion, will aggravate his misery. But do
     thou rather sympathize his infirmityes, for that will afford a
     gratefull easement, by a seeming participation.


44th. When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not
him that did it.

     Chapter iv. 3. Celui qui fait tout ce qui luy est possible, pour
     auancer vostre affaire, quoy qu'il ne la meine pas, & n'en puisse
     auoir le succez cõme vous l'esperez, ne doit point entendre de
     reprimãde; puis qu'il est plus digne de loüange que de blâme.

     The man who does all he can to advance your business, even though
     he should not bring it about, and may not be able to obtain the
     success you hoped for, ought not to hear reproaches, since he is
     more worthy of praise than of blame.


[Sidenote: Hawkins has only 'sweetness,' Washington being here closer
to the French.]

45th. Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to
be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what
terms to do it & in reproving Shew no signs of Cholar but do it with all
Sweetness and Mildness

     Chapter iv. 4. Si vous auez à exhorter ou reprendre quelqu'vn,
     prenez bien garde, s'il est plus à propos de le faire en
     particulier ou en public, en ce temps ou en vn autre, bien plus,
     quelles paroles vous y deuez employer: Et particulierement lors que
     quelqu'vn ayãt esté desia reprimãdé d'autres fois, ne se corrige
     point des fautes passées, & ne promet point d'amandement. Et soit
     que vous donniez quelques auis, ou que vous fassiez quelque
     reprimande, donnez-vous de garde de vous mettre en cholere, au
     contraire pratiquez ces actions auec moderation & douceur.

     If you have to exhort or to reproach any one, consider whether it
     be better to do so in private or in public; at this time or another
     and, above all, what words you should use: and particularly when
     some one having been already reprimanded at other times does not
     correct himself of his past faults, and does not promise any
     amendment. And if you give any advice, or impart any reprimand,
     carefully avoid anger; on the contrary, do such acts with
     moderation and sweetness.


46th. Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given
but afterwards not being culpable take a Time or Place Convenient to let
him know it that gave them.

     Chapter iv. 5. Aussi quiconque se donnera la peine de vous
     remonstrer de quelque façõ, en quelque lieu, & en quelque temps
     qu'il le fasse, qu'il soit écouté de vostre part auec beaucoup de
     ressentiment de bienueillance & de reconnoissance. Et apres cela,
     si vous vous sentez innocent, & qu'il vous semble à propos de vous
     prouuer tel, il vous sera bien permis de le faire; mais auec ce
     soin de predre bien vostre temps, & plustost pour luy en faire voir
     la verité, & le tirer de peine, & plus si vous estes en sa charge,
     ou si vous releuez de son pouuoir, que pour vous appuyer de quelque
     excuse.

     Also when any one takes the trouble to rebuke you, no matter how,
     where, or when he does it, hear him for your part with much feeling
     of goodwill and acknowledgment. And after that, if innocent, and it
     seems right to prove yourself so, you will be quite at liberty to
     do so; being careful, however, to choose a proper time, and rather
     to make him see the truth, and relieve him from anxiety,--the more
     if you are in his charge or depend on his authority--than to defend
     yourself with some excuse.


[4]7th. Mock not nor Jest at anything of Importance break no Jest that
are Sharp Biting, and if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain
from Laughing thereat yourself.

     Chapter iv. 7. Ne vous amusez point aux equiuoques ny en matiere
     importante, ny en choses honteuses. Si vous trouuez bon de railler,
     gardez vous bien de mordre, & bien plus de déchirer comme un chien.
     Que les bons-mots & les rencontres soient tirées du suiet, que les
     vns & les autres ayent leur gentillesse & leur pointe, sans attirer
     l'indignation de personne. Que les plaisanteries ne soient point
     comme celles des bouffons, qui font rire par des representations
     extrauagantes, & des actions deshonnestes: si vous rencontrez
     ioliment, si vous donnez quelque bon-mot, en faisant rire les
     autres, empeschez-vous-en, le plus qu'il vous sera possible.

     Do not divert yourself with _equivoques_, either in important or in
     mean matters. If you find good occasion for a joke, be careful not
     to bite, still less to tear, like a dog. Witticisms and repartee
     should be to the point, and should have elegance and
     appropriateness without exciting the indignation of any. Do not let
     your pleasantries degenerate into those of buffoons, who raise
     laughter by extravagant representations and indecent action. If you
     are clever in repartee, if you say a good thing, manage if
     possible, in making others laugh, to abstain from it yourself.


48th. Wherein wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for
example is is more prevalent than Precepts

     Hawkins iii. 8. Be sure thy conversation be in that poynt vertuous,
     wherein thou art desirous to retaine another, least thy Actions
     render thy advice unprofitable. Since the ratification of any
     advice is the serious prosecution of that vertue. For example hath
     ever been more prevalent than precept.


49th. Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor
Revile

     Hawkins iii. 11. Use no reproachfull language against any man, nor
     Curse, or Revile. For improperations and imprecations will rather
     betray thy affections than in any manner, hurt him against whom
     thou utters them.


[5]0th. Be not hasty to believe flying Reports to the Disparagement of
any

     Hawkins iii. 10. Thou oughtest not too suddenly to believe a flying
     Rumour of a friend, or any other. But let charity guid thy
     judgment, untill more certainty: for by this meanes thou securest
     his Reputation, and frees thy self of rashness.


51st. Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be
Brush'd once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to
any Uncleanness

     Chapter v. 4. Que vos habits ne demeurent point sales, déchirez,
     couuerts de poussiere, ou pelez. Qu'ils soient tous les iours du
     moins vne fois nettoyez auec les époussettes. Et prenez bien garde
     aussi en quel lieu vous vous assoirez, où vous vous mettrez à
     genoux, où vous vous accouderez, que le lieu ne soit point
     malpropre, ny reply d'immondices. Ne portez point le manteau sur le
     bras, à l'imitation des Fanfarons. Et mettant bas ou vostre robbe,
     ou vôtre mãteau, pliez les bien proprement & adroitement, & prenez
     bien garde où vous les posez.

     Do not let your clothes be dirty, torn, covered with dust or
     threadbare. Have them brushed at least once a day. And take care
     also in what place you sit down, or kneel, or rest your elbows,
     that it be not unfit or filthy. Do not carry your cloak over your
     arm after the manner of swaggerers. And when you take off your coat
     or cloak, fold them neatly and carefully, and take care where you
     put them.


[Sidenote: 'Accomodate nature' is a phrase from a precept in Hawkins
concerning apparel.]

52nd. In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature,
rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals
Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places

     Chapter v. 5. Choisissez tousiours des habits semblables à ceux de
     vos compagnons qui passent pour les plus honnestes & moderez, en
     considerant les lieux & les temps auec discretion: & outre cela,
     faites qu'en ce poinct vous paroissiez souhaitter d'estre vestu le
     plus simplement & modestement de tous vos égaux, bien plustost que
     d'affecter les plus beaux vestements.

     Always choose clothes like those of your companions who pass for
     the most genteel and moderate, in discreet consideration of time
     and place: and more, make it a point to be the most simply and
     modestly dressed of all your equals, rather than to affect the
     finest raiment.


53d. Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open
go not Shaking y'r Arms [stamping, or shuffling; nor pull up your
stockings in the street. Walk] not upon the toes, nor in a Dancing [or
skipping manner, nor yet with measured steps. Strike not the heels
together, nor stoop when there is no occasion]

     Chapter vi. 1. Faites en sorte quand vous marchez, de ne pas faire
     des démarches precipitées, d'auoir la bouche ouuerte & comme
     beante, & de ne vous trop demener le corps, ou le pancher, ou
     laisser vos mains pendantes, ou remuer & secoüer les bras; sans
     frapper trop rudement la terre, ou letter à vos pieds de part &
     d'autre. Cette sorte d'action demande encore ces conditions, que
     l'on ne s'arreste pas à retirer ses chausses en haut, dans le
     chemin, que l'on ne marche sur les extremitez des pieds, ny en
     sautillant ou s'eleuant, comme il se pratique en la dance, que l'on
     ne courbe point le corps, que l'on ne baisse point la teste, qne
     l'on n'auance point à pas cõptez, que l'on ne se choque point les
     talons l'un contre l'autre en entrant dans l'Eglise, que l'on ne
     reste point teste nuë a la sortie. Si la deuotion n'y oblige, comme
     lors qu'il est question d'accompagner le Tres-sainct Sacrement.

     In walking guard against hurried steps, or having your mouth open
     and gaping; and do not move your body too much, or stoop, or let
     your hands hang down, or move and shake your arms; walk without
     striking the ground too hard or throwing your feet this way and
     that. That sort of action also demands these conditions,--not to
     stop to pull up one's stockings in the street, not to walk on the
     toes, or in a skipping rising as in dancing; do not stoop, nor bend
     the head; do not advance with measured steps; do not strike the
     heels against each other on entering church, nor leave it
     bareheaded, unless devotion requires it, as in accompanying the
     Holy Sacrament.


54th. Play not the Peacock, looking everywhere about you, to See if you
be well Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings Sit neatly, and
Cloths handsomely.

     Chapter vi. 2. Ne vous amusez pas à vous quarer comme vn Paon, &
     regarder superbement autour de vous, si vous estes bien mis, & bien
     chaussé, si vos hauts-dechausses & vos autres habits vous sont
     bienfaits. Ne sortez point de vostre chãbre, portant vostre plume à
     vostre bouche, ou sur vostre aureille. Ne vous amusez pas à mettre
     des fleurs à vos aureilles, à vostre bonnet, ou à vostre chappeau.
     Ne tenez point vostre mouchoir à la main, ou pendu à vostre bouche,
     ny à vostre ceinture, ny sous vostre aiselle, ny sur vostre
     espaule, ou caché sous vostre robbe. Mettez-le en lieu d'où il ne
     puisse être veu, & il puisse estre toutesfois cõmodément tiré, dez
     qu'il en sera besoin. Ne le presentez iamais à personne, s'il n'est
     tout blanc, ou presque pas deployé.

     Do not delight in strutting like a peacock, or look proudly around
     to see if you are well decked, if your breeches and other clothes
     fit well. Do not leave your room carrying your pen in your mouth or
     behind your ear. Do not indulge yourself by putting flowers in your
     ears, cap, or hat. Do not hold your pocket-handkerchief in your
     hand, hanging from your mouth, at your girdle, under your armpit,
     on your shoulder, or stuffed under your coat. Put it in some place
     where it cannot be seen, but from whence you may easily draw it
     when you want it. Never offer it to anybody unless it be quite
     clean, or hardly unfolded.


55th. Eat not in the Streets, nor in ye House, out of Season.

     Chapter vi. 3. Ne marchez jamais par les chemins, en mangeant, soil
     seul ou en compagnie, & particulierement parmy la foule de la
     ville. Ne vous mettez pas mesme à manger en la maison hors de temps
     du repas, & du moins abstenez vous en, quand il s'y rencontrera
     quelqu'vn.

     Never walk on the roads eating, whether alone or in company,
     especially amid the crowd in a town. Do not set to eating even in
     the house out of meal-times; at least abstain from it in the
     presence of others.


56th. Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own
Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company.

     Chapter vi. 5. Et si, vous voulez passer pour honneste, accostez
     vous tousiours des Gents-de-bien, si vous n'en trouuez pas la
     commodité, ou par ce que vous n'en connoissez point, ou pour
     quelqu'autre raison, il vaut tousiours mieux que vous alliez seul,
     qu'en mauuaise compagnie.

     If you wish to pass as genteel, always go with well-bred people; if
     you cannot get the chance,--from not knowing any, or any other
     reason,--it is always better to go alone than in bad company.


57th. In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he
be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop
not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn
let it be with your face towards him, it he be a Man of Great Quality,
walk not with him Cheek by Jowl but Somewhat behind him; but yet in such
a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

[Sidenote: The repetition of the feminine "Elle" refers to 'vne
personne,' in the first line, although the masculine ('qu'il' and
's'il') has twice followed it. There is no allusion to the female sex in
the French Maxims.]

     Chapter vi. 7. Si vous promenez auec vne personne seule dans la
     maison, & qu'il soil d'vne conditiõ qui luy fasse meriter quelque
     deference, dés le premier pas de la promenade, ne manquez pas de
     luy donner la droite: Ne cessez point de marcher, s'il ne vient à
     s'arrester: Ne changez pas le premier le diuertissement, & en vous
     tournant, ne luy montrez iamais les épaules; mais tousiours le
     visage. Si elle est dans vne charge releuée, gardez bien de marcher
     d'vn pas tout à fait égal; mais suiuez tant soit pen derriere, auec
     tant de iustesse pourtant & de moderatiõ, qu'elle vous puisse bien
     parler sans s'incõmoder. Si elle vous est égale allez d'un mesme
     pas tout le long de la promenade, & ne tournez pas tovsiours le
     premier, à chaque bout de champ; ne faites pas si souuent des
     pauses au milieu du chemin sans suiet. Car cette liberté ressent
     sa grandeur & donne du mécontentement. Celuy qui tient le milieu
     dans vne compagnie dont il est enuironné, si ceux qui la composent,
     sont égaux, ou presque égaux, il se doit tourner vne fois à droit
     dans la promenade, & s'ils se rencontrent notablement inegaux, il
     se doit plus souuent tourner vers le plus qualifié. Enfin que ceux
     qui l'enuironnent, viennent tousiours à se détourner de son costé &
     en mesme temps que luy, non point deuant ny apres; puis qu'il est
     comme le but de la promenade.

     If you are walking about the house alone with a person whose rank
     demands some deference, at the very first step be sure and give him
     the right hand: Do not stop walking if he does not wish to stop: Be
     not the first to change the diversion, and, in turning, never show
     him your shoulder but always your face. If he has a high public
     appointment take care not to walk quite side by side with him but a
     very little behind him with so much exactness and moderation that
     he may be able to speak to you without inconvenience. If he is your
     equal in rank, keep step with him during the whole walk, and do not
     always turn first at every end of the walk. Do not stop often
     midway without reason, such liberty touches his dignity and gives
     dissatisfaction. He who is the centre of the company by whom he is
     surrounded ought, if those of whom it consists are equal or nearly
     equal in rank, always to turn to the right once during the walk,
     and if they are manifestly unequal, he should oftenest turn towards
     the most distinguished. Lastly those who are about him should
     always turn round towards his side and at the same time as he,
     neither before nor after, as he is, so to say, the object of the
     walk.


58th. let your conversation be without malice or envy, for 'tis a sign
of a tractable and commendable nature: & in all causes of passion admit
reason to govern

     Hawkins v. 9. Let thy conversation be without malice or envye, for
     that is a signe of a tractable and commendable nature. And in all
     causes of passion, admit reason for thy governesse. So shall thy
     Reputation be either altogether inviolable, or at the least not
     stayned with common Tinctures.


59th. Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral
before your inferiours

[Sidenote: Walker: 'A man should not divertise himself with his
Inferiors, nor make his Servants privy to his infirmities and
failures.']

     Hawkins v. 10. Never expresse any thing unbeseeming, nor act
     against the Rules morall, before thy inferiours, For in these
     things, thy own guilt will multiply Crimes by example, and as it
     were, confirme Ill by authority.


60th. Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret

[Sidenote: Hawkins uses the word 'Farce' instead of 'Stuff.']

     Hawkins v. 11. Be not immodest in urging thy friend to discover his
     secrets; lest an accidentall discovery of them work a breach in
     your amitye.



61st. Utter not base and frivilous things amongst grave and Learn'd Men
nor very Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things
hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst
your Betters nor Equals

     Chapter vii. 1. dans la conuersation de gents doctes & habiles ne
     debitez pas des bagatelles, & n'auancez pas des discours trop
     releuez parmy les ignorants, qu'ils ne soient po[note: word missing
     here] capables d'entendre, ou qu'ils ne puissent pas croire fort
     facilement. ne debutez pas toûjours par des prouerbes,
     particulierement parmy vos égaux, & bien moins auec vos superieurs.
     ne parlez point de choses à cõtr[~e]teps, ou qui puissent choquer
     les esprits de vos auditeurs. parmy les banquets, & dans les iours
     de resioüissance ne mettez point sur le tapis de tristes nouuelles,
     point de recits de rudes calamitez, point d'ordures, point de
     deshõnestetez, point d'afflictions. bien au cõtraire si tels
     discours se trouuent entamez par quelqu'autre, faites vostre
     possible pour en détourner adroictement la suitte. ne contez iamais
     vos songes qu'à de vos confidents, & encore que ce soit pour
     profiter de leur interpretation; vous gardant bien d'y donner
     aucune croyance.

[Sidenote: Walker says--'nor tell your dreams when perhaps your best
waking actions are not worth the reciting.']

     When talking with learned and clever men, do not introduce trifles,
     and do not bring forward too advanced conversation before ignorant
     people which they cannot understand nor easily believe. Do not
     always begin with proverbs, especially among your equals, and still
     less with your superiors. Do not speak of things out of place, or
     of such as may shock your hearers. At banquets and on days of
     rejoicing do not bring up sorrowful news or accounts of sad
     calamities, no filth, nothing improper, nothing afflicting. On the
     contrary, if such conversation is begun by any one else, do your
     best adroitly to turn the subject. Never relate your dreams except
     to your confidants, and then only to profit by their
     interpretation, taking care not to put the least belief in it.


62d. Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table;
Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others
Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but
to your intimate Friend

     _(The substance of Rule 62 is in the French Maxim quoted under the
     previous Rule (61), beginning with the third sentence, 'Ne parlez
     point, etc.')_ 63d. A Man ought not to value himself of his
     Atchievements or rare Qua[lities, his Riches, Tit]les Virtue or
     Kindred[; but he need not speak meanly of himself.]

     Chapter vii. 2. Vne personne bien nourrie ne s'amuse iamais à faire
     parade de ses belles actions, de son esprit, de sa vertu, & de ses
     autres bonnes & loüables qualitez, au cõtraire il ne faut iamais
     s'entretenir auec les autres de sa haute naissance, ou de la
     Noblesse de ses parents, de ses richesses, ny de ses grandeurs, si
     l'on n'y est contrainct. II ne faut pas aussi se raualler
     entierement.

     A well-bred person never makes parade of his good actions, wit,
     virtue, and other good and praiseworthy qualities; on the contrary,
     one ought never to speak with another about his high birth, the
     nobility of his parents, his wealth or dignities, unless obliged to
     do so. But one need not efface himself altogether.


64'th Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not
aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no man's Misfortune, tho'
there seem to be Some cause

     Chapter vii. 3. Il ne faut pas se mettre sur la raillerie, quãd il
     n'est point temps de solastrer. Gardez-vous bien d'éclater en
     risées, d'y passer les bornes de la bienseance, & de le faire sans
     un suiet raisonnable, pour suiure l'inclinatiõ qui vous porte à
     rire. Ne prenez iamais suiet de rire du malheur d'autruy, quoy
     qu'il semble en quelque façon digne de risée.

     Jesting must be avoided when it is out of season. Beware of
     bursting out into laughter, beyond the limits of decorum, and of
     doing so without reasonable cause, merely from an inclination to
     laugh. Never laugh at the misfortunes of others, although they seem
     in some sort laughable


65th Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none
although they give Occasion

     Chapter vii. 4. Ne donnez iamais de sobriquet, soit dans le jeu, ou
     bien hors du jeu. Gardez vous bien de picquer qui que ce puisse
     estre; ne vous mocquez d'aucune personne, particulierement d'entre
     celles qui sont qualifiées, quoy qu'auec occasion.

     Never give nicknames, whether in fun or not. Take care not to hurt
     anybody, whoever it may be; do not mock any one, especially persons
     of distinction, although there be occasion.


66th Be not forward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear
and answer & be not Pensive when it's a time to converse.

     Chapter vii. 5. Ne vous rendez point morne & de fâcheux abord; mais
     affable & prompt à rendre de bons offices, & soyez toûjours le
     premier à saluër. Entendez bien ce que l'on vous dit & y respondez;
     Ne vous retirez point à l'écart, quand le deuoir vous engage à la
     conversation.

     Do not be glum and unfriendly of approach; but affable, prompt in
     rendering kind offices, and always the first to salute. Listen
     carefully to what is said and respond; do not keep aloof when duty
     requires you to take a share in the conversation.


67th. Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commending.

     Chapter vii. 6. Gardez vous bien de medire d'aucune personne ou de
     vous entretenir des affaires d'autruy. Et mesme souuenez vous de
     garder la moderation dans vos loüanges.

[Sidenote: Walker says: 'Carry even between adulation and soureness.']

     Take care not to speak ill of any one or to gossip of other
     people's affairs. At the same time do not forget moderation in your
     praises.

     _(Dr. Toner thinks the last word of Rule 67 is written
     'Commanding.' Sparks has 'commending.')_ 68th. Go not thither,
     where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not
     Advice whth being Ask'd & when desired do it briefly

     Chapter vii. 7. Ne vous ingerez pas dans les entretiens & les
     consultations, où vous ne serez pas asseuré d'estre le bien venu.
     Ne dites iamais vostre aduis des affaires que l'on ne vous l'ait
     demandé, si toutesfois vous n'estes le premier en authorité, & que
     ce ne soit point à contre-temps, ou sans apparence de quelque
     auantage. Quand vous en estes prié, abregez vostre discours, &
     prenez de bonne heure le noeud de l'affaire à demesler.

     Do not force yourself into interviews or consultations at which you
     are not sure of being welcome. Never give your advice on matters
     when it has not been asked, unless you happen to be the highest in
     authority; and do not let it be done out of place or without
     prospect of any benefit. When your opinion is requested, be brief,
     and reach quickly the knot of the matter under discussion.


69th If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained,
and be not obstinate in your Opinion, in Things indiferent be of the
Major side.

     Chapter vii. 8. Si deux personnes out quelque chose à decider
     ensemble, ne prenez le party ny de l'vn, ny de l'autre, si quelque
     grãde raison ne vous y oblige. Ne soustenez pas vos sentiments auec
     vne trop grande obstination. Dans les matieres où les opiniõs sont
     libres, prenez tousiours le party qui est le plus appuyé.

[Sidenote: Walker says: 'Thrust not your self to be Moderator or Umpire
in Controversies, till required']

     If two persons have anything to decide between themselves do not
     take the part of either unless some pressing reason obliges you to
     do so. Do not maintain your ideas too obstinately. In matters in
     which opinions are free, always take the side which has the most
     support.


70th Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to
Parents Masters and Superiors.

     Chapter vii. 9. Ne faites pas le censeur & le juge des fautes
     d'autruy, car cela n'appartient qu'aux maistres, aux peres, & à
     ceux qui out quelque superiorité. Il vous est toutesfois permis de
     faire paroistre l'auersion que vous en cõceuez. Et vous pouuez bien
     quelquesfois dõner aduis avantageux au defaillants.

     Do not be the censor and judge of other peoples' faults, for that
     only belongs to masters, fathers, and those who have some
     superiority. But it is nevertheless allowable for you to show an
     aversion you have conceived. And at times you may give advantageous
     advice to those who are in the wrong.


71st. Gaze not at the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they
came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before
others

     Chapter vii. 10. Ne vous amusez pas à considerer curieusement les
     defauts ou les taches, quoy que naturelles, particulierement si
     elles se rencontrent au visage, & ne vous enquerez pas d'où elles
     out precedé. Ce que vous diriez bien volontiers en l'oreille à vn
     amy, doit estre conserué sous la clef du sil[~e]ce, lors que vous
     vous trouuez en cempagnie

     Take no pleasure in examining curiously defects or blemishes,
     although natural, especially if they be in the face, nor enquire
     what they proceed from. What you would readily say in the ear of a
     friend ought to be preserved under the key of silence when you are
     in society.


72d. Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language
and that as those of Quality do and not as y'e Vulgar; Sublime matters
treat Seriously.

     Chapter vii. 11. Ne vous seruez iamais en vos discours & n'employez
     vne langue qui ne vous est pas bien cognuë & familiere, si ce n'est
     en vne occasion bien pressante, pour donner plus clairement à
     connoistre vostre pensée. Parlez tousiours en la vostre maternelle
     & natale, non pas grossierement, comme la lie du peuple, ou les
     pauures chambrieres; mais comme les plus delicats & les plus gros
     Bourgeois, auec erudition & auec elegance. Et prenez à tâche
     d'obseruer en vos discours les regles de l'honnesteté & de la
     modestie; & vous gardez bien de ces contes vn peu trop libres; ne
     les faites ny en l'oreille d'vn autre, ny ne les poussez par jeu
     auec profusion. N'employez point de termes bas & raualez ou
     populaires en des matieres hautes & reluées.

     In your conversation never use a language with which you are not
     thoroughly acquainted and familiar, unless in some very urgent case
     to render your idea more clearly. Always speak in your native and
     mother tongue, not coarsely like the dregs of the people, or poor
     chamber-maids, but like the most refined and well-to-do citizens,
     with erudition and elegance. And in your discourse take care to
     observe the rules of decorum and modesty, and be sure to avoid
     rather risky tales; do not whisper such to another, and do not
     indulge them too frequently in sport. Do not use low, base or
     vulgar expressions when treating of serious and sublime subjects.


73'd. Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out
your Words too hastily but orderly and Distinctly

     Chapter vii. 12. Ne vous mettez point à discourir, que vous ne vous
     y soyez bien preparé, & que vous n'ayez bien estudié vostre suiet.
     Dans l'entretien ordinaire, n'allez point chercher de periphrases,
     point de subtilitez, ny de figures. Ne confondez point vos paroles
     dans les coutumes d'vne langue trop brusque & begayante; mais
     aussi, ne parlez pas si lentement, & à tant de reprises, que vous
     donniez de l'ennuy.

     Do not begin speaking unless you are quite prepared, and have well
     studied your subject. In ordinary conversation do not seek
     periphrases, subtleties, or figures of speech. Do not let your
     words become confused by too abrupt or hesitating a delivery, and
     do not let your speech be so slow and broken as to become tedious.


74th When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the
Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him
without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be
ended


     Chapter vii. 13. Quand quelque autre parle, prenez garde de donner
     suiet à ses Auditeurs de s'en detourner; & pour vous, écoutez-le
     fauorablement & auec attention, sans destourner les yeux d'vn autre
     costé, ou vous arrester à quelqu'autre pensée. Si quelqu'vn a de la
     peine à tirer ses mots comme par force, ne vous amusez pas á luy en
     suggerer, pour faire paroistre quelque desir d'aider celuy qui
     parle, si'l ne vient à vous en prier, ou que le tout se passe dãs
     le particulier, & qu'encore cette persõne soit de vos plus intimes
     & familiers amis; & apres tout ne l'interrompez point, & ne luy
     repliquez en aucune maniere, iusques à ce que luy-mesme ait acheué.

[Sidenote: Hawkins: 'If any drawl forth his words, help him not']

[Sidenote: The later French book has: 'It is not Civil when a Person of
Quality hesitates or stops in his discourse for you to strike in, though
with pretence of helping his memory.']

     When another person is speaking, beware of drawing off the
     attention of his hearers; and as for yourself, listen to him
     favourably and attentively, without turning your eyes aside or
     directing your thoughts elsewhere. If any one finds difficulty in
     expressing himself, do not amuse yourself by suggesting words to
     him, so as to show a desire to assist the speaker unless he so
     requests or you are quite in private, and the person is also one of
     your most intimate and familiar friends. Above all, do not
     interrupt him, and in nowise reply to him until he has finished.


75th. In the midst of Discourse ask [not what it is about], but if you
Perceive any Stop because of [your arrival, rather request the speaker]
to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing its
handsome to Repeat what was said before

     Chapter vii. 14. Quand vous arriuez sur la moitié de quelque
     discours, ne vous enquerez pas du suiet de l'entretien; car cela
     est trop hardy & ressent l'homme d'authorité. Suppliez plûtost
     honnestement & courtoisement que l'on le poursuiue, si vous voyez
     qu'il se soir interronpu à vostre arriuée, parquel que sorte de
     deference. Au contraire s'il suruient quelqu'vn, lors que vous
     parlerez, & particulierement si c'est vne personne qualifiée & de
     merite, il est de la bien-seance de faire vne petite recapitulation
     de ce qui a esté auancé, & de poursuiure la deduction de tout le
     reste de la matiere.

[Sidenote: Hawkins: 'It is seemely to make a little Epilogue and
briefe collection of what thou deliveredst.]

     If you arrive in the middle of any discussion, do not ask what it
     is about; for that is too bold and savours of one in authority.
     Rather ask, genteelly and courteously, that it may be continued, if
     you see that the speaker has paused on your arrival, out of
     civility. On the other hand, if any one comes whilst you are
     speaking, and particularly if it be a person of quality or of
     merit, it is in accordance with good manners to give a slight
     recapitulation of what has been advanced, and then carry out the
     deduction of all the rest of the matter.


76th. While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom
you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to
his face

Chapter vi. 17. Ne montrez point au doigt la personne dont vous parlez,
& ne vous approchez point trop prés de celuy que vous entretenez, non
plus que de son visage, à qui il faut toûjours porter quelque reuerence.

Do not point your finger at the person of whom you are speaking, and do
not go too near any one with whom you are conversing, especially not
near his face, which should always be held in some reverence.


77th. Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the
Company of Others

     Chapter vi. 18. Si vous auez vne affaire particuliere à communiquer
     a l'vne de deux personnes ou de plusieurs qui s'entretiennent
     ensemble, expediez en trois mots, & ne luy dites pas en l'oreille
     ce que vous auez à proposer; mais si la chose est secrette,
     tirez-la tant soit peu à l'écart, s'il vous est possible, & que
     rien ne vous en empesche; parlez luy en la langue que les
     assistants entendent.

     If you have any particular matter to communicate to one of two
     persons or of several, who are talking together, finish it off in
     three words, and do not whisper in his ear what you have to say; if
     the matter be secret, take him aside a little, if possible, and
     nothing prevents; speak to him in the language which those present
     understand.


78th. Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any
brave act of Virtue, commend not another for the Same

     Chapter vii. 21. Abstenez vous de faire des comparaisons des
     personnes l'vne auec l'autre; Et partant si l'on donne des loüanges
     à quelqu'vn pour vne bonne action, ou pour sa vertu, gardez vous
     bien de loüer la mesme vertu en quelque autre. Car toute
     comparaison se trouue odieuse.

     Abstain from drawing comparisons between different persons; and if
     any one is praised for a good action, or for his virtue, do not
     praise another for the same. For all comparisons are odious.


79th. Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In
Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A
Secret Discover not

     Chapter vii. 22. Ne faites pas aisément dessein de redire aux
     autres les nouuelles & les rapports qui auront couru touchant les
     rencontres des affaires, si vous n'auez vn garant de leur verité.
     Et ne vous amusez pas en racontant ces vau-de-villes, d'en citer
     l'Autheur, que vous ne soyez bien asseuré qu'il ne le trouuera pas
     mauuais. Gardez tousiours bien le secret qui vous a esté confié &
     ne le ditez à personne, de crainte qu'il ne soit diuulgué.

[Sidenote: The later French book says: 'Discover not the secret of a
friend, it argues a shallow understanding and a weakness.']

     Be not apt to relate rumours of events, if you know not their
     truth. And in repeating such things do not mention your authority,
     unless you are sure he will like it. Always keep the secret
     confided to you; tell it to no one, lest it be divulged.


80th. Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the
Company pleased therewith

     Chapter vii. 23. Si vous racontez, ou lisez, ou entreprenez d'en
     prouuer par raisonnements quoy que ce soit, tranchez-le-court, &
     particulierement quand le suiet en est peu important, ou quand vous
     reconnoissez les dégousts qu'en ont les Auditeurs.

     If you are relating or reading anything, or arguing any point, be
     brief,--particularly when the subject is of small importance, or if
     you detect weariness in the listeners.


81st. Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach to
those that Speak in Private

     Chapter vii. 24. Ne témoignez pas de curiosité dans les affaires
     d'autruy, & ne vous approchez dé là où l'on parle en secret.

     Do not show any curiosity about other people's affairs, and do not
     go near the place where persons are talking in private.


82d. Undertake not what you cannot Perform but be Carefull to keep your
Promise

     Chapter vii. 25. Ne vous chargez point d'vne chose dont vous ne
     vous pouuez acquiter; maintenez ce que vous auez promis.

     Do not undertake anything that you cannot perform; keep your
     promise.


83d. When you deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion,
however mean y'e Person be you do it too

     Chapter vii. 27. Quand vous faites vne ambassade, vn rapport, ou
     donnez l'ouuerture de quelque affaire, taschez de le faire sans
     passion & auec discretion, soit que vous ayez à traitter auec
     personnes de peu, ou personnes de qualité.

     When you fulfil a mission, deliver a report, or undertake the
     opening of any matter, try to do it dispassionately and discreetly,
     whether those with whom you have to treat be of humble or high
     position.


84th. When your Superiours talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak
nor Laugh

     Chapter vii. 27. Quand ceux qui out sur vous commandement, parlent
     à quelqu'vn, gardez vous bien de parler, de rire, ou de les
     escouter.

     When your Superiors talk to any one, do not speak, laugh, or
     listen.


85th. In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not till
you are ask'd a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in
few words

     Chapter vii. 30. Estant auec de plus grands que vous,
     principalement s'ils ont du pouuoir sur vous, ne parlez pas deuant
     que d'estre interrogé, & alors leuez-vous debout, découurez-vous, &
     répondez en pen de mots, si toutesfois l'on ne vous donne congé de
     vous asseoir, ou de vous tenir couuert.

     Being with persons of higher position than yourself, and especially
     if they have authority over you, do not speak until you are
     interrogated; then rise, remove your hat, and answer in few
     words,--unless indeed you are invited to remain seated, or to keep
     your hat on.


86th. In Disputes, be not so Desirous to Overcome as not to give Liberty
to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to y'e Judgment of y'e
Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

     Chapter vii. 31. Dans les disputes qui arriuent, principalement en
     conuersation, ne soyez pas si desireux de gagner, que vous ne
     laissiez dire a chacun son aduis, & soit que vous ayez tort, ou
     raison, vous deuez acquiescer au jugement du plus grand nombre, ou
     mesme des plus fascheux, & beaucoup plus de ceux de qui vous
     dépendez, ou qui sont juges de la dispute.

     In disputes that arise, especially in conversation, be not so
     desirous to overcome as not to leave each one liberty to deliver
     his opinion; and whether you be wrong or right you should acquiesce
     in the judgment of the majority, or even of the most persistent,
     all the more if they are your masters or patrons, or judges of the
     discussion.


87th. [Let your bearing be such] as becomes a Man Grave Settled and
attentive [to what is said, without being too serious. Contra]dict not
at every turn what others Say

     Chapter vii. 35. Vostre maintien soit d'homme moderément graue,
     posé, & attentif a ce qui se dit, afin de n'auoir pas à dire à tout
     propos: _Comment ditez-vous? comment se passe cela? je ne vous ay
     pas entendu_, & d'autres semblables niaiseries.

     33. Ne contredictes pas a tout bout de champ, à ce que disent les
     autres, en contestant & disant: Il n'est pas ainsi, la chose est
     comme je la dy; mais rapportez-vous en à l'opinion des autres
     principalement dans les choses, qui sont de peu de consequence.

     35. Let your bearing be that of a moderately grave, serious man,
     and attentive to what is said so as to avoid having to say every
     moment: _'How did that happen? I did not understand you,'_--and
     other similar foolish remarks.

     33. Do not continually contradict what others say, by disputing and
     saying: 'That is not the case, it is as I say;' but defer to the
     opinion of others, especially in matters of small consequence.


88th. Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat
often the Same manner of Discourse

     Chapter vii. 39. N'employez pas vn an à vostre preface, & en
     certaines longues excuses ou ceremonies, en disant, _Monsieur:
     excusez-moy! si ie ne sçay pas si bien dire,_ &c., _toutesfois pour
     vous obeyr_, &c., & autres semblables ennuyeuses and sottes
     trainées de paroles; mais entrez promptement en matiere tant que
     faire se pourra auec vne hardiesse moderée: Et puis poursuiuez,
     sans vous troubler, iusques à la fin. Ne soyez pas long; sans
     beaucoup de digressions, ne reïterez pas souuent vne mesme façon de
     dire.

     Do not take a year in your preface, or in certain long apologies or
     ceremonies, such as: '_Pardon me Sir if I do not know how to
     express myself sufficiently well_, &.c.; _nevertheless in order to
     obey you_,' &c., and other similarly tedious and stupid
     circumlocutions; but enter promptly on the subject, as far as
     possible, with moderate boldness; then continue to the end without
     hesitation. Do not be prolix; avoid digressions; do not often
     reiterate the same expression.


89th. Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust

     Hawkins vi. 40. Speak not evill of one absent, for it is unjust to
     detract from the worth of any, or besmeare a good name by
     condemning, where the party is not present, to clear himselfe, or
     undergo a rationall conviction.


90th. Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose
except there's a Necessity for it

     Chapter viii. 2. Estant assis à table, ne vous grattez point, &
     vous gardez tant que vous pourrez, de cracher, de tousser, de vous
     moucher: que s'il y a necessité, faites-le adroitement, sans
     beaucoup de bruit, en tournant le visage de costé.

     Being seated at the table, do not scratch yourself, and if you can
     help it, do not spit, cough, or blow your nose; should either be
     necessary do it adroitly, with least noise, turning the face aside.

     _(In the Washington MS. there is a notable omission of all that is
     said in the French and English books concerning grace before meat.
     At Washington's table grace was never said.)_


91st. Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not
with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table
neither find fault with what you Eat.

     Chapter viii. 3. Ne prenez pas vostre repas en gourmand.

     4. Ne rompez point le pain auec les mains, mais auec le cousteau,
     si ce n'estoit vn pain fort petil & tout frais, & que tous les
     autres fissent de mesme, ou la pluspart.

     5. Ne vous iettez pas sur table, à bras estendus iusques aux
     coudes, & ne vous accostez pas indecemment les épaules ou les bras
     sur vostre siege.

     8. Ne monstrez nullement d'avoir pris plaisir à la viande, ou au
     vin; mais si celuy que vous traittez, vous en demande vostre goust,
     vous pourrez luy respondre avec modestie & prudence: beaucoup moins
     faut il blasmer les viandes, ou en demander d'autres, ny dauantage.

     3. Eat not like a glutton. (4.) Do not break the bread with your
     hands, but with a knife; unless, indeed, it is a small and quite
     fresh roll, and where the others present, or most of them, use
     their hands. (5.) Do not throw yourself on the table, as far as the
     elbows, nor unbecomingly rest shoulders or arms on your chair.
     (8.) Do not make a show of taking delight in your food, or in the
     wine; but if your host inquires your preference you should answer
     with modesty and tact: whatever you do, do not complain of the
     dishes, ask for others, or anything of that sort.

     _(At Washington's table it was a custom to invite each guest to
     call for the wine he preferred.)_


92d. Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

     Chapter viii. 9. Prenant du sel, gardez que le cousteau ne soit
     gras: quand il le faut nettoyer, ou la fourchette on le peut faire
     honnestement auec vn peu de pain, ou comme il se pratique en
     certains lieux, auec la serviette, mais iamais sur le pain entier.

     In taking salt be careful that the knife is not greasy: when
     necessary your knife or fork may with propriety be cleaned on a
     piece of bread,--or, as is done in some places, with the
     napkin,--but it must never be wiped on the whole loaf.


93d. Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him w't meat,
Undertake not to help others undesired by y'e Master

     Chapter viii. 10. Traittant quelqu'vn, il est de la bien-seance de
     le seruir en table, & luy presenter des viandes, voire mesme de
     celles qui sont proches de luy. Que si l'on estoit invité chez
     autruy, il est plus à propos d'attendre que le Maistre ou vn autre
     serue, que de prendre des viandes soy-mesme, si ce n'estoit que le
     Maistre priast les conuiez de prendre librement, ou que l'on fust
     en maison familiere. L'on se doit aussi peu ingerer à seruir les
     autres hors de sa maison, où l'on avoir peu de pouuoir, n'étoit que
     le nombre des conuiez fust grand, & que le Maistre de la maison ne
     peust pas avoir l'oeil sur tout; Et pour lors l'on peut seruir ceux
     qui sont proches de soy.

     When entertaining any one it is polite to serve him at table and to
     present the dishes to him, even such as are near him. When invited
     by another it is more seemly to wait to be served by the host, or
     some one else, than to take the dishes oneself, unless the host
     begs the guests to help themselves freely, or one is at home in the
     house. One ought also not to be officious in helping others when
     out of one's own house, where one has but little authority, unless
     the guests are very numerous and the host cannot attend to
     everything; in that case we may help those nearest us.


[9]4th. If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you
put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay
till Cools of it Self

     Chapter viii. 14. Si vous trempez en la saulce le pain ou la chair,
     ne les trempez pas derechef, apres y auoir mordu, trempez-y à
     chaque fois vn morceau mediocre, qui se puisse manger tout d'vne
     bouchée.

     11. Ne soufflez point sur les viandes; mais si elles sont chaudes,
     attendez qu'elles se refroidissent: le potage se pourra refroidir,
     le remuant modestement auec la cuilliere, mais il ne sied pas bien
     de humer son potage en table, il le faut prendre auec la cuilliere.

     If you dip bread or meat into the gravy, do not do so immediately
     after biting a piece off, but dip each time a moderately-sized
     morsel which can be eaten at one mouthful. (11.) Do not blow on the
     viands, but if they are hot, wait till they cool. Soup may be
     cooled by stirring it gently with a spoon, but it is not becoming
     to drink up the soup at table. It should be taken with a spoon.


95th. Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand
neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor cast
anything under the table

     Chapter viii. 17. Ne portez pas le morceau à la bouche, tenant le
     cousteau en la main, à la mode des villageois.

     16. Aussi ne semble-il bien seant de cracher les noyaux de prunes,
     cerises, ou autre chose semblable sur le plat; mais premierement on
     doit les recueiller decemment, comme il a esté dit, en la main
     gauche, l'approchant à la bouche, & puis les mettre sur le bord de
     l'assiette.

[Sidenote: Maxim 15 is much longer]

     15. L'on ne doit point jetter sous la table, ou par terre, les os,
     les écorces, le vin ou autre chose semblable.

     Do not carry a morsel to your mouth, knife in hand, like the
     rustics. (16.) Moreover, it does not seem well bred to spit out the
     kernels of prunes, cherries, or anything of the kind, on your
     plate, but, as already said, they should be decently collected in
     the left hand (raised to the mouth), and placed on the edge of the
     plate. (15.) Bones, peel, wine, and the like, should not be thrown
     under the table.


96th. Its unbecoming to Stoop much to one's Meat Keep your Fingers clean
& when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.

     Chapter viii. 21. Il est messeant de se baisser beaucoup sur son
     escuelle ou sur la viande, c'est assez de s'encliner vn peu lors
     que l'on porte le morceau trempé à la bouche, de crainte de se
     salir, & puis redresser la teste.

     25. Ne vous nettoyez pas les mains à vostre pain, s'il est entier;
     toutesfois les ayant fort grasses, il semble que vous les puissiez
     nettoyer premierement à vn morceau de pain que vous ayez à manger
     tout à l'heure & puis à la seruiette, afin de ne la point tant
     salir: ce qui vous arriuera rarement, si vous sçauez vous seruir de
     la cuilliere, & de la fourchette, selon le style des plus
     honnestes. Beaucoup moins deuez vous lêcher les doigts,
     principalement les sucçant auec grand bruit.

     It is ill-bred to stoop too close to one's porringer or the meat.
     It suffices to bend a little when conveying a soaked morsel to
     one's mouth, in order to avoid soiling oneself, then straighten up
     again. (25.) Do not clean your hands on a loaf; if very greasy you
     might, it would seem, partly clean them on a bit of bread you are
     about to eat, then on your napkin, so as not to soil the latter too
     much: this will rarely happen if you know how to use spoon and
     fork in the most approved manner. Much less should you lick your
     fingers, especially not suck them noisily.


[9]7th. Put not another bit into your Mouth till the former be Swallowed
let not your Morsels be too big for the jowls

     Chapter viii. 30. Ne portez pas le morceau à la bouche que l'autre
     ne soil auallé, & que tous soient tels qu'ils ne fassent pas enfler
     les jouës hors de mesure; ne vous seruez pas des deux mains pour
     vous mettre le morceau à la bouche, mais seruez vous d'ordinaire de
     la droite.

     Carry not another morsel to the mouth till the other be swallowed,
     and let each be such as will not stretch the jaws beyond measure;
     do not take both hands to raise a morsel to the mouth, but,
     usually, serve yourself with the right hand.


98th. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you
while you are a Drinking

     Chapter viii. 32. Ne boiuez ayant le morceau en la bouche, ne
     demandez point à boire, ne parlez, ne vous versez point à boire, &
     ne boiuez cependant que vostre voisin boit, ou celuy qui est au
     haut bout.

     33. En boiuant, ne regardez point çà & là.

[Sidenote: The later French book recommends keeping the eyes 'fixed at
the bottom of the glass' while drinking.]

     Do not drink with your mouth full of food; do not ask anything
     while drinking, nor talk, nor turn round; and do not drink because
     your neighbour does, or the head of the table. (33.) While
     drinking, gaze not here and there.


99th. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after
Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise,
for its uncivil

     Chapter viii. 34. Ne boiuez point trop lentement ny trop à la
     haste, ny comme en maschant le vin, ny trop souuent ny sans eau,
     car c'est à faire aux yvrognes. Deuant & apres que vous aurez beu,
     effuyez-vous les lévres, & ne respirez pas auec trop grand bruit,
     ny alors, ny iamais, car c'est vne chose bien inciuile.

     Drink neither too slowly nor too hastily, nor as if gulping the
     wine, nor too frequently, nor without water--as drunkards do.
     Wipe your lips before and after drinking, and do not breathe too
     loudly then or at any other time, for that is very inelegant.


100th. Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife
but if Others do it let it be done w't a Pick Tooth

     Chapter viii. 36. Ne vous nettoyez pas les dents auec la nappe, ou
     la seruiette, ny auec le doigt, la fourchette, ou le cousteau. Ce
     seroit faire pis de le faire auec les ongles, mais faites-le auec
     le curedent. Aussi ne semble-il estre bien-seant de se les nettoyer
     en table, si ce n'estoit que les autres le fissent, & que ce fust
     la coustume des mieux ciuilisez.

     Do not clean your teeth with the tablecloth, napkin, finger, fork,
     or knife. It were still more objectionable to do so with the
     nails. Use a toothpick. It also does not appear well-bred to pick
     them at table, unless others do so, and where such is a custom of
     the more gentlemanly.


101st. Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others

     Chapter viii. 37. Ne vous rincez point la bouche auec du vin, pour
     le reietter en presence des autres; mais sorty que vous serez de
     table, accoustumez vous à lauer les mains auec les autres. Quant à
     la bouche, il semble n'estre pas à propos de la lauer en presence
     des gens, & partant quand l'on donne à lauer, mesme en table, l'on
     doit seulement lauer les mains.

     Do not rinse your mouth with wine, to be rejected in the presence
     of others; but, having left the table, accustom yourself to wash
     your hands with the rest. As to the mouth, it does not appear
     proper to wash it in company at all, and consequently when an
     opportunity of washing is offered, even at the table, the hands
     only should be washed.


102d. It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need
you Drink to others every Time you Drink

     Chapter viii. 38. C'est chose peu loüable & presque aujourd'huy
     hors d'vsage, d'inuiter la compagnie à manger, principalement trop
     souuent & auec importunité, car il semble qu'on luy osté la
     liberté. Beaucoup moins deuez-vous boire à autruy toutes les fois
     que vous boiuez: que si l'on boit à vous, vous pouuez le refuser
     modestement, remerciant de bonne grace, & confessant de vous
     rendre; ou bien essayez vn peu le vin par courtoisie,
     principalement auec gens qui sont accoustumez. à cela, & prennent
     le refus à iniure.

     It is not commendable, and now almost out of fashion, to call on
     the company to eat, especially to invite them too often and
     urgently, for it appears to take away their freedom. Much less
     should you drink to others every time you drink: if one drinks to
     you, it is permissible to decline modestly, thanking him
     gracefully, and acknowledging your response; or you may well sip a
     little wine for courtesy, especially with people who are accustomed
     to it, and who are offended by refusal.


103d. In Company of your Betters be not [longer in eating] than they are
lay not your Arm but ar[ise with only a touch on the edge of the table.]

     Chapter viii. 42. Quand les autres ont acheué de manger, despechez
     vous aussi, & ne tenez pas les bras sur la table, mais posez les
     mains seulement sur le bout.

     When the rest have finished eating, you should do the same quickly;
     do not hold your arms on the table, but only place your hands on
     the edge of it.


104th. It belongs to y'e Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and
fall to Meat first, But he ought to begin in time & to Dispatch with
Dexterity that y'e Slowest may have time allowed him

     Chapter viii. 45. C'est à faire au plus honnorable de la compagnie
     de déplier le premier sa seruiette, & toucher aux viandes: &
     partant les autres doiuent attendre paisiblement sans mettre la
     main à chose aucune deuant lui.

     46. Et au contraire il doit estre soigneux de commencer en son
     temps, de pouruoir à tout, d'entretenir les conuiez, & finir le
     tout auec telle addresse; qu'il donne temps aux plus tardifs de
     manger à leur aise, s'entretenant, s'il est de besoin, à gouster
     legerement des viandes, ou quand il est loisible de discourir à
     table; entremesler auec le manger quelque petit discours, afin que
     les autres puissent auec loisir d'acheuer.

     It is for the most distinguished member of the company to unfold
     first his napkin and touch the food, and the rest should wait
     quietly, without laying hand on anything before he does. (46.) On
     the other hand, he ought in due time to commence, to consider
     everything, entertaining the guests, and managing all so adroitly
     as to give time to the more dilatory to eat at their leisure; if
     necessary for this, slowly tasting the viands, or, when table-talk
     is permissible, introducing a little chat during the meal, so that
     the others can finish at their ease.


[Sidenote: Toner has 'but' instead of 'put' in this Rule.]

105th. Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be
so, Shew it not put on a Chearfull Countenance especially if there be
Strangers for good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast

     Chapter viii. 47. Ne vous fâchez iamais en table, quoy qu'il
     aduienne, ou bien si vous vous fâchez, n'ent faites point de
     semblant, principalement y ayant des estrangers à table.

[Sidenote: Hawkins vii. 40. 'A cheerefull countenance makes one dish a
Feast.']

     Never be angry at table, no matter what may happen, or even if you
     have cause for anger, do not show it, especially if strangers are
     present.


[Sidenote: There is a blank in the MS. after upper.]

106th. Set not yourself at y'e upper [end] of y'e Table but if it be
your Due or that y'e Master of y'e house will have it so, Contend not
least you Should Trouble y'e company.

     Chapter viii. 48. Ne vous asséez point de vous mesme au haut-bout;
     miais s'il vous appartient, ou si le maistre du logis le veut
     ainsi, ne faites pas tant de resistance pour n'y point aller, que
     vous fachiez toute la compagnie.

[Sidenote: Walker: 'Desire not the highest place, nor be troublesome
with impertinent debasing yourself by refusing,' etc.]

     Seat not yourself voluntarily at the top; but if the place properly
     belongs to you, or the master of the house so wills, do not offer
     so much resistance to its acceptance as to annoy the company.


107th. If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in
your Mouth

     Chapter viii. 49. Si on lit ou deuise en table, soyez attentif, &
     s'il faut parler, ne parlez point auec le morceau en la bouche.

     If there be reading or chat at table, be attentive, and if you have
     to speak, do not speak with your mouth full.


108th. When you Speak of God or his Attributes, let it be Seriously &
[with words of] Reverence. Honour & obey your Natural Parents altho they
be Poor

     Hawkins vii. 43. Let thy speeches be seriously reverent when thou
     speakest of God or his Attributes, for to jest or utter thy selfe
     lightly in matters divine, is an unhappy impiety, provoking heaven
     to justice, and urging all men to suspect thy beliefe.--vii.
     _(unnumbered)_ Honour and obey thy natural parents although they be
     poor; for if thy earthly Parents cannot give thee riches and
     honour, yet thy heavenly Father hath promised thee length of days.

     _(There is nothing in the French Maxims corresponding to the second
     sentence of Rule 108. The Maxim nearest to the first sentence is
     the 9th of Chapter i.:--"Il se faut bien garder de prononcer aucuns
     nouueaux mots, quand l'on parle de Dieu ou des Saincts, & d'en
     faire de sots contes, soit tout bon, ou par raillerie." "Avoid
     irreverent words in speaking of God, or of the Saints, and of
     telling foolish stories about them, either in jest or earnest."
     Compare also the last sentence of Maxim vii, 11, ante, under Rule
     72.)_


109th. Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.

     Hawkins vii. _(unnumbered)._ Let thy recreations be manful not
     sinful; there is a great vanity in the baiting of Beasts, the Bears
     and Bulls lived quietly enough before the fall; it was our sin that
     set them together by the ears, rejoyce not therefore to see them
     fight, for that would be to glory in thy shame.


110th. Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of
Celestial fire called Conscience.

     Hawkins vii. _(unnumbered)._ Labour to keep alive in thy breast,
     that little sparke of Celestial fire called Conscience, for
     Conscience to an evil man is a never dying worm, but unto a good
     man its a perpetual feast.