Title: Works of George W. Peck
Author: George W. Peck
Editor: David Widger
Release date: May 25, 2009 [eBook #28970]
Most recently updated: November 12, 2023
Language: English
Credits: Produced by David Widger
DETAILED CONTENTS:
CHAPTER I.
THE BOY WITH A LAME BACK—THE BOY COULDN'T SIT DOWN—A PRACTICAL JOKE ON
THE OLD MAN—A LETTER FROM "DAISY "—GUARDING THE FOUR CORNERS—THE OLD
MAN IS UNUSUALLY GENEROUS—MA ASKS AWKWARD QUESTIONS—THE BOY TALKED TO
WITH A BED SLAT—NO ENCOURAGEMENT FOR A BOY
CHAPTER II.
THE BOY AT WORK AGAIN—THE BEST BOYS FULL OF TRICKS—THE OLD MAN
LAYS DOWN THE LAW ABOUT JOKES—RUBBER HOSE MACARONI—THE OLD MAS's
STRUGGLES—CHEWING VIGOROUSLY BUT IN VAIN—AN INQUEST HELD—REVELRY BY
NIGHT—MUSIC IN THE WOODSHED—"'twas ever thus."
CHAPTER III.
THE BAD BOY GIVES HIS PA AWAY—PA IS A HARD CITIZEN—DRINKING
SOZODONT—MAKING UP THE SPARE BED—THE MIDNIGHT WAR DANCE—AN
APPOINTMENT BY THE COAL-BIN.
CHAPTER IV.
THE BAD BOY'S FOURTH OF JULY.—PA IS A POINTER, NOT A SETTER—SPECIAL
ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY—A GRAND SUPPLY OF FIREWORKS—THE
EXPLOSION—THE AIR FULL OF PA AND DOG AND ROCKETS—THE NEW HELL—A SCENE
THAT BEGGARS DESCRIPTION.
CHAPTER V.
THE BAD BOY'S MA COMES HOME.—DEVILTRY, ONLY A LITTLE FUN—THE BAD
BOY'S CHUM—A LADY'S WARDROBE IN THE OLD MAN'S ROOM—MA's UNEXPECTED
ARRIVAL—WHERE IS THE HUZZY?—DAMFINO!—THE BAD BOY WANTS TO TRAVEL WITH
A CIRCUS
CHAPTER VI.
HIS PA IS A DARN COWARD—HIS PA HAS BEEN A MAJOR—HOW HE WOULD DEAL WITH
BURGLARS—HIS BRAVERY PUT TO THE TEST—THE ICE REVOLVER—HIS PA BEGINS
TO PRAY—TELLS WHERE THE CHANGE IS—"PLEASE MR. BURGLAR SPARE A POOR
MAN'S LIFE!"—MA WAKES UP—THE BAD BOY AND HIS CHUM RUN—FISH-POLE
SAUCE—MA WOULD MAKE A GOOD CHIEF OF POLICE
CHAPTER VII.
HIS PA GETS A BITE.—"HIS PA GETS TOO MUCH WATER"—THE DOCTOR'S
DISAGREE—HOW TO SPOIL BOYS—HIS PA GOES TO PEWAUKEE IN SEARCH OF HIS
SON—ANXIOUS TO FISH—"STOPER, I'VE GOT A WHALE!"—OVERBOARD—HIS PA IS
SAVED—A DOLLAR FOR HIS PANTS.
CHAPTER VIII.
HE IS TOO HEALTHY—AN EMPTY CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE AND A BLACK EYE—HE IS
ARRESTED—OCONOMOWOC FOR HEALTH—HIS PA. IS AN OLD MASHER—DANCED TILL
THE COWS CAME HOME—THE GIRL FROM THE SUNNY SOUTH—THE BAD BOY IS SENT
HOME
CHAPTER IX.
HIS PA HAS GOT 'EM AGAIN.—HIS PA IS DRINKING HARD—HE HAS BECOME A
TERROR—A JUMPING DOG——THE OLD MAN IS SHAMEFULLY ASSAULTED—"THIS IS
A HELLISH CLIMATE MY BOY!"—HIS PA SWEARS OFF—HIS MA STILL SNEEZING AT
LAKE SUPERIOR
CHAPTER X.
HIS PA HAS GOT RELIGION—THE BAD BOY GOES TO SUNDAY SCHOOL—PROMISES
REFORMATION—THE OLD MAN ON TRIAL FOR SIX MONTHS—WHAT MA THINKS—ANTS
IN PA'S LIVER-PAD—THE OLD MAN IN CHURCH—RELIGION IS ONE THING, ANTS
ANOTHER
CHAPTER XI.
HIS PA TAKES A TRICK—JAMAICA RUM AND CARDS—THE BAD BOY POSSESSED OF
A DEVIL—THE KIND DEACON—AT PRAYER-MEETING—THE OLD MAN TELLS HIS
EXPERIENCE—THE FLYING CARDS—THE PRAYER-MEETING SUDDENLY CLOSED
CHAPTER XII.
HIS PA GETS PULLED—THE OLD MAN STUDIES THE BIBLE—DANIEL IN THE LIONS'
DEN—THE MULE AND THE MULE'S FATHER—MURDER IN THE THIRD WARD—THE OLD
MAN ARRESTED—THE OLD MAN FANS THE DUST OUT OF HIS SON'S PANTS
CHAPTER XIII.
HIS PA GOES TO THE EXPOSITION—THE BAD BOY ACTS AS GUIDE—THE CIRCUS
STORY—THE OLD MAN WANTS TO SIT DOWN—TRIES TO EAT PANCAKES—DRINKS SOME
MINERAL WATER—THE OLD MAN FALLS IN LOVE WITH A WAX WOMAN—A POLICEMAN
INTERFERES—THE LIGHTS GO OUT—THE GROCERY MAN DON'T WANT A CLERK
CHAPTER XIV.
HIS PA CATCHES ON—TWO DAYS AND NIGHTS IN THE BATHROOM—RELIGION CAKES
THE OLD MAN'S BREAST—THE BAD BOY'S CHUM DRESSED UP AS A GIRL—THE OLD
MAN DELUDED—THE COUPLE START FOR THE COURT HOUSE PARK—HIS MA APPEARS
ON THE SCENE—"IF YOU LOVE ME, KISS ME?"—MA TO THE RESCUE—"I AM DEAD
AM I?"—HIS PA THROWS A CHAIR THROUGH THE TRANSOM
CHAPTER XV.
HIS PA AT THE RE-UNION—THE OLD MAN IN MILITARY SPLENDOR—TELLS HOW HE
MOWED DOWN THE REBELS—"I AND GRANT"—WHAT IS A SUTLER.—TEN DOLLARS FOR
PICKLES!—"LET US HANG HIM!"—THE OLD MAN ON THE RUN—HE STANDS UP TO
SUPPER—THE BAD BOY IS TO DIE AT SUNSET
CHAPTER XVI.
THE BAD BOY IN LOVE—ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN?—NO GETTING TO HEAVEN ON SMALL
POTATOES—THE BAD BOY HAS TO CHEW COBS—MA SAYS IT'S GOOD FOR A BOY
TO BE IN LOVE—LOVE WEAKENS THE BAD BOY—HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO GET
MARRIED?—MAD DOG—NEVER EAT ICE CREAM
CHAPTER XVII.
HIS PA FIGHTS HORNETS—THE OLD MAN LOOKS BAD—THE WOODS OF
WAUWATOSA—THE OLD MAN TAKES A NAP—"HELEN DAMNATION!"—"HELL IS OUT
FOR NOON."—THE LIVER MEDICINE—ITS WONDERFUL EFFECTS—THE BAD BOY
IS DRUNK—GIVE ME A LEMON!—A SIGHT OF THE COMET!—THE HIRED GIRL'S
RELIGION
CHAPTER XVIII.
HIS PA GOES HUNTING—MUTILATED JAW—THE OLD MAN HAS TAKEN TO SWEARING
AGAIN—OUT WEST, DUCK SHOOTING—-HIS COAT TAIL SHOT OFF—SHOOTS AT A
WILD GOOSE—THE GUN KICKS!—THROWS A CHAIR AT HIS SON—THE ASTONISHED
SHE-DEACON
CHAPTER XIX.
HIS PA IS "NISHIATED"—ARE YOU A MASON?—NO HARM TO PLAY AT LODGE—WHY
GOATS ARE KEPT IN STABLES—THE BAD BOY GETS THE GOAT UPSTAIRS—THE GRAND
DUMPER DEGREE—KYAN PEPPER ON THE GOAT'S BEARD—"BRING FORTH THE ROYAL
BUMPER"—THE GOAT ON THE RAMPAGE
CHAPTER XX.
HIS GIRL GOES BACK ON HIM. THE GROCERY MAN IS AFRAID—BUT THE BAD BOY IS
A WRECK—"MY GIRL, HAS SHOOK ME!"—THE BAD BOY'S HEART IS BROKEN—STILL
HE ENJOYS A BIT OF FUN—COD LIVER OIL ON THE PANCAKES—THE HIRED GIRLS
MADE VICTIMS—THE BAD BOY VOWS VENGEANCE ON HIS GIRL AND THE TELEGRAPH
MESSENGER
CHAPTER XXI.
HE AND HIS PA IN CHICAGO—NOTHING LIKE TRAVELING TO GIVE TONE—LAUGHING
IN THE WRONG PLACE—A DIABOLICAL PLOT—-HIS PA ARRESTED AS A
KIDNAPPER—-THE NUMBERS ON THE DOORS CHANGED—THE WRONG ROOM—"NOTHIN'
THE MAZZER WITH ME, PET!"—THE TELL-TALE HAT
CHAPTER XXII.
HIS PA IS DISCOURAGED—"I AIN'T NO JONER!"—THE STORY OF THE ANCIENT
PROPHET—THE SUNDAY SCHOOL FOLKS GO BACK ON THE BAD BOY:—CAGED
CATS—A COMMITTEE MEETING—A REMARKABLE CATASTROPHE!—"THAT BOY BEATS
HELL!"—BASTING THE BAD BOY—THE HOT WATER IN THE SPONGE TRICK
CHAPTER XXIII.
HE BECOMES A DRUGGIST—"I HAVE GONE INTO BUSINESS!"—-A NEW
ROSE-GERANIUM PERFUME—-THE BAD BOY IN A DRUGGIST'S STORE—PRACTICING
ON HIS PA—THE EXPLOSION—THE SEIDLETZ POWDER—HIS PA'S FREQUENT
PAINS—POUNDING INDIA-RUBBER—CURING A WART
CHAPTER XXIV. HE QUITS THE DRUG BUSINESS.
HE HAS DISSOLVED WITH THE DRUGGER—THE OLD LADY AND THE GIN—THE BAD BOY
IGNOMINIOUSLY FIRED—HOW HE DOSED HIS PA'S BRANDY—THE BAD BOY AS "HAWTY
AS A DOOK!"—HE GETS EVEN WITH HIS GIRL—-THE BAD BOY WANTS A QUIET
PLACE—THE OLD MAN THREATENS THE PARSON
CHAPTER XXV.
HIS PA KILLS HIM—A GENIUS AT WHISTLING—A FUR-LINED CLOAK A CURE CURE
FOR CONSUMPTION—ANOTHER LETTER SENT TO THE OLD MAN—HE RESOLVES ON
IMMEDIATE PUNISHMENT—THE BLADDER-BUFFER—THE EXPLOSION—A TRAGIC
SCENE—HIS PA VOWS TO REFORM
CHAPTER XXVI.
HIS PA MORTIFIED—SEARCHING FOR SEWER GAS—THE POWERFUL ODOR OF
LIMBURGER CHEESE AT CHURCH—THE AFTER MEETING—FUMIGATING THE HOUSE—THE
BAD BOY RESOLVES TO BOARD AT AN HOTEL.
CHAPTER XXVII.
HIS PA BROKE UP—THE BAD BOY DON'T THINK THE GROCER FIT FOR HEAVEN—HE
IS VERY SEVERE ON HIS OLD FRIEND—THE NEED OF A NEW REVISED EDITION—THE
BAD BOY TURNS REVISER—HIS PA REACHES FOR THE POKER—A SPECIAL
PROVIDENCE—THE SLED SLEWED!—HIS PA UNDER THE MULES
CHAPTER XXVIII.
HIS PA GOES SKATING—THE BAD BOY CARVES A TURKEY—HIS PA'S FAME AS A
SKATER—THE OLD MAN ESSAYS TO SKATE ON ROLLERS—HIS WILD CAPERS—HE
SPREADS HIMSELF—-HOLIDAYS A CONDEMNED NUISANCER—THE BAD BOY'S
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
CHAPTER XXIX.
HIS PA GOES CALLING—HIS PA STARTS FORTH—A PICTURE OF THE OLD
MAN "FULL"—POLITENESS AT A WINTER PICNIC—ASSAULTED BY
SANDBAGGERS—RESOLVED TO DRINK NO MORE COFFEE—A GIRL FULL OF "AIG NOGG"
CHAPTER XXX.
HIS PA DISSECTED—THE MISERIES OF THE MUMPS—NO PICKLES, THANK
YOU—ONE MORE EFFORT To REFORM THE OLD MAN—THE BAD BOY PLAYS MEDICAL
STUDENT—PROCEEDS TO DISSECT HIS PA—"GENTLEMEN, I AM NOT DEAD!"—SAVED
FROM THE SCALPEL—"NO MORE WHISKY FOR YOU."
CHAPTER XXXI.
HIS PA JOINS A TEMPERANCE SOCIETY—THE GROCERY MAN SYMPATHISES WITH THE
OLD MAN—WARNS THE BAD BOY THAT HE MAY HAVE A STEP-FATHER!—THE BAD
BOY SCORNS THE IDEA—INTRODUCES HIS PA TO THE GRAND "WORTHY DUKE!"—THE
SOLEMN OATH—THE BRAND PLUCKED FROM THE BURNING
CHAPTER XXXII.
HIS PA'S MARVELOUS ESCAPE—THE GROCERY MAN HAS NO VASELINE—THE OLD
MAN PROVIDES THREE FIRE ESCAPES—ONE OF THE ESCAPES TESTED—HIS PA
SCANDALIZES THE CHURCH—"SHE'S A DARLING!"—WORLDLY MUSIC IN THE COURTS
OF ZION
CHAPTER XXXIII.
HIS PA JOKES HIM—THE BAD BOY CAUGHT AT LAST—HOW TO GROW A
MOUSTACHE—TAR AND CAYENNE PEPPER—THE GROCERY MAN'S FATE IS
SEALED—FATHER AND SON JOIN IN A PRACTICAL JOKE—SOFT SOAP ON THE
STEPS—DOWNFALL OF MINISTERS AND DEACONS—"MA TO THE RESCUE!"—THE BAD
BOY GETS EVEN WITH HIS PA
CHAPTER XXXIV.
HIS PA GETS MAD—A ROOM IN COURT-PLASTER—THE BAD BOY DECLINES BEING
MAULED!—THE OLD MAN GETS A HOT BOX—THE BAD BOY BORROWS A CAT!—THE
BATTLE!—"HELEN BLAZES!"—THE CAT VICTORIOUS!—THE BAD BOY DRAWS THE
LINE AT KINDLING WOOD!
CHAPTER XXXV.
HIS PA AN INVENTOR—THE BAD BOY A MARTYR—THE DOG-COLLAR IN
THE SAUSAGE—A PATENT STOVE—THE PATENT TESTED!—HIS PA A BURNT
OFFERING—EARLY BREAKFAST!
HIS PA GETS BOXED—PARROT FOR SALE—THE OLD MAN IS DOWN ON THE
GROCER—"A CONTRITE HEART BEATS A BOB-TAILED FLUSH!"—POLLY'S
RESPONSES—CAN A PARROT GO TO HELL?—THE OLD MAN GETS ANOTHER BLACK
EYE—DUFFY HITS FOR KEEPS!—NOTHING LIKE AN OYSTER FOR A BLACK EYE
|
Great God, Hanner, We Are Blowed Up The Old Man, the Hired Girl and The Goat The Minister and Deacons Salted |
CHAPTER I.
VARIEGATED DOGS—THE BAD BOY SLEEPS ON THE ROOF—A MAN DOESN'T
KNOW EVERYTHING AT FORTY-EIGHT—THE OLD MAN WANTS SOME POLLYNURIOUS
WATER—THE DYER'S DOGS—PROCESSION OF THE DOGS—PINK, BLUE, GREEN AND
WHITE—"WELL, I'M DEM'd"—HIS PA DON'T APPRECIATE.
CHAPTER II.
HIS PA PLAYS JOKES—A MAN SHOULDN'T GET MAD AT A JOKE—THE MAGIC
BOUQUET—THE GROCERY MAN TAKES A TURN—HIS PA TRIES THE BOUQUET AT
CHURCH—ONE FOR THE OLD MAID—A FIGHT ENSUES—THE BAD BOY THREATENS THE
GROCERY man—A COMPROMISE.
CHAPTER III.
HIS PA STABBED—THE GROCERY MAN SETS A TRAP IN VAIN—A BOOM IN
LINIMENT—HIS PA GOES TO THE LANGTRY SHOW—THE BAD BOY TURNS
BURGLAR—THE OLD MAN STABBED—HIS ACCOUNT OF THE FRAY—A GOOD SINGLE
HANDED LIAR.
CHAPTER IV.
HIS PA BUSTED—THE CRAZE FOR MINING STOCK—WHAT'S A BILK?—THE PIOUS
BILK—THE OLD MAN INVESTS—THE DEACONS AND EVEN THE HIRED GIRLS
INVEST—HOT MAPLE SYRUP FOR ONE—GETTING A MAN'S MIND OFF HIS TROUBLES.
CHAPTER V.
HIS PA AND DYNAMITE—THE OLD MAN SELLING SILVER STOCK—FENIAN
SCARE—"DYNAMITE" IN MILWAUKEE—THE FENIAN BOOM—"GREAT GOD, MANNER!
WE ARE BLOWED UP!"—HIS MA HAS LOTS OF SAND—THE OLD MAN USELESS IN
TROUBLE—THE DOG AND THE FALSE TEETH
CHAPTER VI.
HIS PA AN ORANGEMAN—THE GROCERY MAN SHAMEFULLY ABUSED—HE GETS
HOT—BUTTER, OLEOMARGARINE AND AXLE GREASE—THE OLD MAN WEARS ORANGE
ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY—HE HAS TO RUN FOR HIS LIFE—THE BAD BOY AT SUNDAY
SCHOOL—INGERSOLL AND BEECHER VOTED OUT—MARY HAD A LAMB
CHAPTER VII.
HIS MA DECEIVES HIM—THE BAD BOY IN SEARCH OF SAFFRON—"WELL, IT'S A
GIRL, IF YOU MUST KNOW"—THE BAD BOY IS GRIEVED AT HIS MA'S DECEPTION—
"SH-H-H TOOTSY GO TO SLEEP"—"BY LOW, BABY"—THAT SETTLED IT WITH
THE CAT—A BABY! BAH! IT MAKES ME TIRED
CHAPTER VIII.
THE BABY AND THE GOAT. THE BAD BOY THINKS HIS SISTER WILL BE A FIRE
ENGINE—"OLD NUMBER TWO"—BABY REQUIRES GOAT MILK—? THE GOAT IS
FRISKY—TAKES TO EATING ROMAN CANDLES—THE OLD MAN, THE HIRED GIRL, AND
THE GOAT—THE BAD BOY BECOMES TELLER IN A LIVERY STABLE
CHAPTER IX.
A FUNERAL PROCESSION—THE BAD BOY ON CRUTCHES—"YOU OUGHT TO SEE THE
MINISTER"—AN ELEVEN DOLLAR FUNERAL—THE MINISTER TAKES THE LINES—AN
EARTHQUAKE—AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE WAS OVER—THE POLICEMAN FANS THE
MINISTER—A MINISTER SHOULD HAVE SENSE
CHAPTER X.
THE OLD MAN MAKES A SPEECH. THE GROCERY MAN AND THE BAD BOY HAVE
A FUSS—THE BOHEMIAN BAND—THE BAD BOY ORGANIZES A SERENADE—"BABY
MINE"—THE OLD MAN ELOQUENT—THE BOHEMIANS CREATE A FAMINE—THE Y. M. C.
A. ANNOUNCEMENT
CHAPTER XI.
GARDENING UNDER DIFFICULTIES—THE GROCERY MAN IS DECEIVED—THE BAD
BOY DON'T LIKE MOVING—GOES INTO THE COLORING BUSINESS—THE OLD MAN
THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED—UNCLE TOM AND TOPSY—THE OLD MAN ARRESTED—WHAT
THE GROCERY MAN THINKS—THE BAD BOY MORALIZES ON HIS FATE—RESOLVES TO
BE GOOD
CHAPTER XII.
THE OLD MAN SHOOTS THE MINISTER—THE BAD BOY TRIES TO LEAD A DIFFERENT
LIFE—MURDER IN THE AIR—THE OLD MAN AND HIS FRIENDS GIVE THEMSELVES
AWAY—DREADFUL STORIES OF THEIR WICKED YOUTH—THE CHICKEN COOP
INVADED—THE OLD MAN TO THE RESCUE—THE MINISTER AND THE DEACONS SALTED
CHAPTER XIII.
THE BAD BOY A THOROUGHBRED. THE BAD BOY WITH A BLACK EYE—A POOR
FRIENDLESS GIRL EXCITES HIS PITY—PROVES HIMSELF A GALLANT
KNIGHT—THE OLD MAN IS CHARMED AT HIS SON'S COURAGE—THE GROCERY MAN
MORALIZES—FIFTEEN CHRISTS IN MILWAUKEE—THE TABLES TURNED—THE OLD MAN
WEARS THE BOY'S OLD CLOTHES
CHAPTER XIV.
ENTERTAINING Y. M. C. A. DELEGATES—THE BAD BOY MINISTERS AT THE Y.
M. C. A. WATER FOUNTAIN—THE DELEGATES FLOOD THEMSELVES WITH SODA
WATER—TWO DELEGATES DEALT TO HIS MA—THE NIGHT KEY—THE FALL OF THE
FLOWER STAND—DELEGATES IN THE CELLAR ALL NIGHT—THE BAD BOY'S GIRL IS
WORKING HIS REFORMATION
CHAPTER XV.
HE TURNS SUPE. THE BAD BOY QUITS JERKING SODA—ENTERS THE DRAMATIC
PROFESSION—"WHAT'S A SUPER"—THE PRIVILEGES OF A SUPE'S FATHER—BEHIND
THE SCENES—THE BAD BOY HAS PLAYED WITH MC'CULLOUGH—"IWAS THE
POPULACE."—PLAYS IT ON HIS SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER—"I PRITHEE, AU
RESERVOIR, I GO HENS!"
CHAPTER XVI.
UNCLE EZRA PAYS A VISIT. UNCLE EZRA CAUSES THE BAD BOY TO
BACKSLIDE—UNCLE EZRA AND THE OLD MAN WERE BAD PILLS—THEIR RECORD IS
AWFUL—KEEPING UNCLE EZRA ON THE RAGGED EDGE—THE BED SLATS FIXED—THE
OLD MAN TANGLED UP—THIS WORLD IS NOT RUN RIGHT—UNCLE EZRA MAKES HIM
TIRED
CHAPTER XVII.
HE DISCUSSES THEOLOGY. MEDITATIONS ON NOAH'S ARK—THE GARDEN OF
EDEN—THE ANCIENT DUDE—ADAM WITH A PLUG HAT ON—"I'M A THINKER FROM
THINKERSVILLE"—THE APOSTLES IN A PATROL WAGON—ELIJAH AND ELISHA—THE
PRODIGAL SON—A VEAL POT PIE FOR DINNER
CHAPTER XVIII.
THE DEPARTED ROOSTER. THE GROCERY MAN DISCOURSES ON DEATH—THE DEAD
ROOSTER—A BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH—THE TENDERNESS BETWEEN THE ROOSTER
AND HIS FAITHFUL HEN—THE HEN RETIRES TO SET—THE CHICKENS—THE PROUD
ROOSTER DIES—THE FICKLE HEN FLIRTING IN INDECENT HASTE
CHAPTER XIX.
ONE MORE JOKE ON THE OLD MAN—UNCLE EZRA RETURNS—THE BASKET ON THE
STEPS—THE ANONYMOUS LETTER—"O, BROTHER THAT I SHOULD LIVE TO SEE THIS
DAY!"—AN UGLY DUTCH BABY—THE OLD MAN WHEELS THE BABY NOW—A FROG IN
THE OLD MAN'S BED
CHAPTER XX.
FOURTH OF JULY MISADVENTURES. TROUBLE IN THE PISTOL POCKET—THE GROCERY
MAN'S CAT THE BAD BOY A MINISTERING ANGEL—ASLEEP ON THE FOURTH OF
JULY—GOES WITH HIS GIRL TO THE SOLDIER'S HOME—TERRIBLE. FOURTH OF JULY
MISADVENTURES—THE GIRL WHO WENT OUT COMES BACK A BURNT OFFERING
CHAPTER XXI.
WORKING ON SUNDAY. TURNING A GRINDSTONE IS HEALTHY—"NOT ANY GRINDSTONE
FOR HENNERY!"—THIS HYPOCRISY IS PLAYED OUT—ANOTHER JOB ON THE OLD
MAN—HOW THE DAYS OF THE WEEK GOT MIXED—THE NUMEROUS FUNERALS—THE
MINISTER APPEARS—THE BAD BOY GOES OVER THE BACK FENCE
CHAPTER XXII.
THE OLD MAN AWFULLY BLOATED. THE OLD MAN BEGINS DRINKING AGAIN—THINKS
BETTING IS HARMLESS—HAD TO WALK HOME FROM CHICAGO—THE SPECTACLES
CHANGED—A SMALL SUIT OF CLOTHES—THE OLD MAN AWFULLY BLOATED—"HENNERY,
YOUR PA IS A MIGHTY SICK MAN"—THE SWELLING SUDDENLY GOES DOWN
CHAPTER XXIII.
THE GROCERY MAN AND THE GHOST. GHOSTS DON'T STEAL WORMY FIGS—A GRAND
REHEARSAL—THE MINISTER MURDERS HAMLET—THE WATER MELON KNIFE—THE OLD
MAN WANTED TO REHEARSE THE DRUNKEN SCENE IN RIP VAN WINKLE—NO HUGGING
ALLOWED—HAMLET WOULDN'T HAVE TWO GHOSTS—"HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE AN
IDIOT?"
CHAPTER XXIV.
THE CRUEL WOMAN AND THE LUCKLESS DOG—THE BAD BOY WITH A DOG AND A BLACK
EYE—WHERE DID YOU STEAL HIM?—ANGELS DON'T BREAK DOGS' LEGS—A WOMAN
WHO BREAKS DOGS' LEGS HAS NO SHOW WITH ST. PETER—ANOTHER BURGLAR
SCARE—THE GROCERY DELIVERY MAN SCARED
CHAPTER XXV.
THE BAD BOY GROWS THOUGHTFUL—WHY IS LETTUCE LIKE A GIRL?—KING SOLOMON
A FOOL—THINK OF ANY SANE MAN HAVING A THOUSAND WIVES—HE WOULD HAVE
TO HAVE TWO HOTELS DURING VACATION—300 BLONDES—600 BRUNETTES, ETC.—A
THOUSAND WIVES TAKING ICE CREAM—"I DON'T ENVY SOLOMON HIS THOUSAND"
CHAPTER XXVI.
FARM EXPERIENCES. THE BAD BOY WORKS ON A FARM FOR A DEACON—HE KNOWS
WHEN HE HAS GOT ENOUGH—HOW THE DEACON MADE HIM FLAX AROUND—AND HOW HE
MADE IT WARM FOR THE DEACON
DRINKING CIDER IN THE CELLAR—THE DEACON WILL NOT ACCEPT HENNERY'S
RESIGNATION—HE WANTS BUTTER ON HIS PANCAKES—HIS CHUM JOINS HIM—THE
SKUNK IN THE CELLAR—THE POOR BOY GETS THE "AGER."
CHAPTER I.
The Bad Boy and His Chum Call on the Old Groceryman After Being Away at
School—The Bad Boy's Dad in a Bad Way
CHAPTER II.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Ready for Their Travels—The Bad Boy Labels the
Old Man's Suit Case—How the Cowboys Made Him Dance Once
CHAPTER III.
The Bad Boy Writes About the Fun They Had Going to Washington—He
and His Dad Call on President Roosevelt—The Bad Boy Meets One of the
Children and They Disagree
CHAPTER IV.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Visit Mount Vernon—Dad Weeps at the Grave of
the Father of Our Country
CHAPTER V.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Have Dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria—The Bad Boy
Orders Dinner—The Old Man Gets Stuck—Tries to Rescue a Countess in
Distress
CHAPTER VI.
The Bad Boy Writes the Old Groceryman About Ocean Voyages—His Dad Has
an Argument Over a Steamer Chair.
CHAPTER VII.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Eat Fog—Call on Astor—A Dynamite Outrage
CHAPTER VIII.
The Bad Boy Writes About the Craze for Gin in the White-chapel
District—He Gives His Dad a Scare in the Tower of London
CHAPTER IX.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Call on King Edward and Almost Settle the Irish
Question
CHAPTER X.
The Bad Boy Writes of Ancient and Modern Highwaymen—¦ They Get a Taste
of High Life in London and Dad Tells the Story of the Picklemaker's
Daughter
CHAPTER XI.
The Bad Boy Writes About Paris—Tells About the Trip Across the English
Channel—Dad Feeds a Dog and Gets Arrested
CHAPTER XII.
The Bad Boy's Second Letter from Paris—Dad Poses as a Mormon Bishop
and Has to Be Rescued—They Climb the Eiffel Tower and the Old Man Gets
Converted
CHAPTER XIII.
The Bad Boy's Dad and a Man from Dakota Frame Up a Scheme to Break the
Bank, But They Go Broke—The Party in Trouble
CHAPTER XIV.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Have an Automobile Ride—They Run Over a
Peasant—Climb "Glaziers"—Dad Falls Over a Precipice, But Is Rescued by
the Guides After a Hard Time of It
CHAPTER XV.
Dad Plays He Is an Anarchist—They Give Alms to the Beggars and the Bad
Boy Ducks a Gondolier and His Dad in the Grand Canal
CHAPTER XVI.
The Bad Boy Writes from Naples—Dad Sees Vesuvius and Calls the Servants
to Put Out the Fire—They Have Trouble with a "Dago" in Pompeii
CHAPTER XVII.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Climb Vesuvius—A Chicago Lady Joins the Party
and Causes Trouble
CHAPTER XVIII.
The Bad Boy Makes Friends with Some Italian Children—Dad is Chased by
Lions from the Coliseum—" Not Any More Rome for Papa," says Dad
CHAPTER XIX.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Visit the Pope—They Bow to, the King of Italy
and His Nine Spots—Dad Finds That "The Catacombs" Is Not a Comic Opera
CHAPTER XX.
The Bad Boy Tells About the Land of the Czar and the Trouble They Had to
Get There—Dad Does a Stunt and Mixes It Up with the People and Soldiers
CHAPTER XXI.
Dad Sees a Russian Revolution and Faints—'The Bad Boy Arranges a Wolf
Hunt—Dad Threatens to Throw the Boy to the Wolves
CHAPTER XXII.
Dad Wears His Masonic Fez in Constantinople—They Find the Turks
Sensitive on the Dog Question—A College Yell for the Sultan Sends Him
Into a Fit
CHAPTER XXIII.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Meet the Cream of the Harem—"Little Egypt" Does
a Dancing Stunt—The Sultan Wants to Send Fifty Wives to the President
CHAPTER XXIV.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Arrive in Cairo—At the Hotel They Meet Some
Egyptian Princesses—Dad Rides a Camel to the Pyramids and Meets with
Difficulties
CHAPTER XXV.
The Bad Boy and His Dad Climb the Pyramids—The Bad Boy Lights a Cannon
Cracker in Rameses' Tomb—They Flee from Egypt in Disguise
CHAPTER XXVI.
The Bad Boy Writes About Gibraltar—The Irish-English Army—How He Would
Take the Fortress—Dad Wants to Buy the "Rock"
CHAPTER XXVII.
The Bad Boy Writes of Spain—They call On the King and the Bad Boy Is At
It Once More—They See a Bull Fight and Dad Does a Turn
CHAPTER XXVIII.
The Bad Boy and His Dad at Berlin—They Call On Emperor William and His
Family and the Bad Boy Plays a Joke on Them All
CHAPTER XXIX.
The Bad Boy Writes from Brussels—He and Dad See the Field of Waterloo
and Call on King Leopold, and Dad and the King Go in for a Swim—The Bad
Boy, a Dog and Some Goats Do the Rest
CHAPTER XXX.
The Bad Boy's Delayed Letter About Holland and Cuba—Dad and the Boy Go
for a Drive in a Dog-Cart—They Have a Great Time—Land in Cuba and See
the Island We Fought For