The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Red Wallflower, by Susan Warner

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Title: A Red Wallflower

Author: Susan Warner

Release Date: October 7, 2008 [EBook #26828]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A RED WALLFLOWER ***




Produced by Daniel Fromont









[Transcriber's note: Susan Warner, _A red wallflower_, (1884), Nisbet
1913 edition]





A RED WALLFLOWER



BY SUSAN WARNER AUTHOR OF 'THE WIDE, WIDE WORLD,' 'QUEECHY,' ETC.


LONDON JAMES NISBET & CO. LIMITED 21 BERNERS STREET W



NOTE TO THE READER.


The story following is again in its whole chain of skeleton facts a
true story. I beg to observe, in particular, that the denominational
feeling described in both families, with the ways it showed itself, is
part of the truth of the story, and no invention of mine.


S. W.


MARTLAER'S ROCK, June 25, 1884.




CONTENTS.


CHAPTER

       I. AFTER DANDELIONS
      II. AT HOME
     III. THE BOX OF COINS
      IV. LEARNING
       V. CONTAMINATION
      VI. GOING TO COLLEGE
     VII. COMING HOME
    VIII. A NOSEGAY
      IX. WANT OF COMFORT
       X. THE BLESSING
      XI. DISSENT
     XII. THE VACATION
    XIII. LETTERS
     XIV. STRUGGLES
      XV. COMFORT
     XVI. REST AND UNREST
    XVII. MOVING
   XVIII. A NEIGHBOUR
     XIX. HAPPY PEOPLE
      XX. SCHOOL
     XXI. THE COLONEL'S TOAST
    XXII. A QUESTION
   XXIII. A DEBATE
    XXIV. DISAPPOINTMENT
     XXV. A HEAD OF LETTUCE
    XXVI. WAYS AND MEANS
   XXVII. ONIONS
  XXVIII. STRAWBERRIES
    XXIX. HAY AND OATS
     XXX. A HOUSE
    XXXI. MAJOR STREET
   XXXII. MOVING
  XXXIII. BETTY
   XXXIV. HOLIDAYS
    XXXV. ANTIQUITIES
   XXXVI. INTERPRETATIONS
  XXXVII. A STAND
 XXXVIII. LIFE PLANS
   XXXIX. SKIRMISHING
      XL. LONDON
     XLI. AN OLD HOUSE
    XLII. THE TOWER
   XLIII. MARTIN'S COURT
    XLIV. THE DUKE OF TREFOIL
     XLV. THE ABBEY
    XLVI. A VISIT
   XLVII. A TALK
  XLVIII. A SETTLEMENT




A RED WALLFLOWER.




CHAPTER I.

_AFTER DANDELIONS_.


It is now a good many years ago that an English family came over from
the old country and established itself in one of the small villages
that are scattered along the shore of Connecticut. Why they came was
not clearly understood, neither was it at all to be gathered from their
way of life or business. Business properly they had none; and their way
of life seemed one of placid contentment and unenterprising domestic
pleasure. The head of the family was a retired army officer, now past
the prime of his years; tall, thin, grey, and grave; but a gentleman
through and through. Everybody liked Colonel Gainsborough, although
nobody could account for a man of his age leading what seemed such a
profitless life. He was doing really nothing; staying at home with his
wife and his books. Why had he come to Connecticut at all? If he lived
for pleasure, surely his own country would have been a better place to
seek it. Nobody could solve this riddle. That Colonel Gainsborough had
anything to be ashamed of, or anything to be afraid of, entered
nobody's head for a moment. Fear or shame were unknown to that grave,
calm, refined face. The whisper got about, how, it is impossible to
say, that his leaving home had been occasioned by a disagreement with
his relations. It might be so. No one could ask him, and the colonel
never volunteered to still curiosity on the subject.

The family was small. Only a wife and one little girl came with the
colonel to America; and they were attended by only two old retainers, a
man and a woman. They hired no other servants after their arrival,
which, however, struck nobody as an admission of scantness of means.
According to the views and habits of the countryside, two people were
quite enough to look after three; the man outside and the woman inside
the house. Christopher Bounder took care of the garden and the cow, and
cut and made the hay from one or two little fields. And Mrs. Barker,
his sister, was a very capable woman indeed, and quite equal to the
combined duties of housekeeper, cook, lady's maid, and housemaid, which
she fulfilled to everybody's satisfaction, including her own. However,
after two or three years in Seaforth these duties were somewhat
lessened; the duties of Mrs. Barker's hands, that is, for her head had
more to do. Mrs. Gainsborough, who had been delicate and failing for
some time, at last died, leaving an almost inconsolable husband and
daughter behind her. I might with truth say quite inconsolable; for at
the time I speak of, a year later than Mrs. Gainsborough's death,
certainly comfort had come to neither father nor daughter.

It was one morning in spring-time. Mrs. Barker stood at the door of her
kitchen, and called to her brother to come in to breakfast. Christopher
slowly obeyed the summons, leaving his spade stuck upright in the bed
he was digging, and casting loving looks as he came at the budding
gooseberry bushes. He was a typical Englishman; ruddy, fair-skinned,
blue-eyed, of very solid build, and showing the national tendency to
flesh. He was a handsome man, and not without a sufficiency of
self-consciousness, both as regarding that and other things. Mrs.
Barker was a contrast; for she was very plain, some years older than
her brother, and of rather spare habit though large frame. Both faces
showed sense, and the manner of both indicated that they knew their own
minds.

'Season's late,' observed Mrs. Barker, as she stepped back from the
door and lifted her coffee-pot on the table.

'Uncommon late,' answered her brother. 'Buds on them gooseberry bushes
only just showin' green. Now everything will be coming all together in
a heap in two weeks more. That's the way o' this blessed climate! And
then when everything's started, maybe a frost will come and slap down
on us.'

'Peas in?'

'Peas in a fortnight ago. They'll be showin' their heads just now.'

'Christopher, can you get me some greens to day?'

'Greens for what?'

'Why, for dinner. Master likes a bit o' boiled beef now and again,
which he used to, anyway; and I thought greens is kind o' seasonable at
this time o' year, and I'd try him with 'em. But la! he don't care no
more what he eats.'

'How is the old gentleman?'

'Doin' his best to kill hisself, I should say.'

'Looks like it,' said Christopher, going on with a good breakfast the
while in a business manner. 'When a man don't care no more what he
eats, the next thing'll be that he'll stop it; and then there's only
one thing more he will do.'

'What's that?'

'Die, to be sure!'

'He ain't dyin' yet,' said Mrs. Barker thoughtfully, 'but he ain't
doin' the best he can wi's life, for certain. Can ye get me some
greens, Christopher?'

'Nothing in _my_ department. I can take a knife and a basket and find
you some dandelions.'

'Will ye go fur to find 'em?'

'No furder'n I can help, you may make your affidavit, with all there is
to do in the garden yet. What's about it?'

'If you're goin' a walk, I'd let Missie go along. She don't get no
chance for no diversion whatsomever when young Mr. Dallas don't come
along. She just mopes, she do; and it's on my mind, and master he don't
see it. I wish he would.'

'The little one does wear an uncommon solemn countenance,' said the
gardener, who was in his way quite an educated man, and used language
above his station.

'It do vex me,' repeated the housekeeper.

'But young Mr. Dallas comes along pretty often. If Miss Esther was a
little older, now, we should see no more of her solemnity. What 'ud
master say to that?'

'It's good things is as they be, and we've no need to ask. I don't want
no more complications, for my part. It's hard enough to manage as it
is.'

'But things won't stay as they be,' said the gardener, with a twinkle
of his shrewd blue eye as he looked at his sister. 'Do you expect they
will, Sarah? Miss Esther's growin' up fast, and she'll be an uncommon
handsome girl too. Do you know that?'

'I shouldn't say she was what you'd go fur to call handsome,' returned
the housekeeper.

'I doubt you haven't an eye for beauty. Perhaps one ought to have a bit
of it oneself to be able to see it in others.'

'Well I haven't it,' said Mrs. Barker; 'and I never set up to have it.
And I allays thought rosy cheeks went with beauty; and Missie has no
more colour in her cheeks, poor child, than well--than I have myself.'

'She's got two eyes, though.'

'Who hasn't got two eyes?' said the other scornfully.

'Just the folks that haven't an eye,' said the gardener, with another
twinkle of his own. 'But I tell you, there ain't two such eyes as Miss
Esther's between here and Boston. Look out; other folk will find it out
soon if you don't. There ain't but three years between twelve and
fifteen; and then it don't take but two more to make seventeen.'

'Three and two's five, though,' said Mrs. Barker; 'and five years is a
long time. And Miss Esther ain't twelve yet, neither. Then when'll ye
be goin' after the greens, Christopher?'

'It'll be a bit yet. I'll let you know.'

The fair spring morning was an hour or two farther on its way,
accordingly, when the gardener and the little girl set out on their
quest after greens. Yet it was still early, for the kitchen breakfast
was had betimes. The gardener carried a basket, and Esther too did the
like; in hers there was a small trowel, for 'she might find something,'
she said. Esther always said that, although hitherto her 'findings' had
amounted to nothing of any account; unless, indeed, I correct that, and
say, in any eyes but her own. For in Esther's eyes every insignificant
growth of the woods or the fields had a value and a charm
inexpressible. Nothing was 'common' to her, and hardly anything that
grew was relegated to the despised community of 'weeds.'

'What are you going for now, Christopher?' she asked as they trudged on
together.

'Well, miss, my old woman there has sent me for some greens. She has a
wild tooth for greens, she has,' he added, half to himself.

'What sort of greens can you get?'

'There's various sorts to be had, Miss Esther; a great variety of the
herbs of the field are good for eating, at the different times o' the
year; even here in this country; and I do suppose there ain't a poorer
on the face o' the earth!'

'Than _this_ country? than Seaforth? O Christopher!'

'Well, m'm, it beats all _I_ ever knew for poorness. You should see
England once, Miss Esther! That's the place for gardens; and the fields
is allays green; and the flowers do be beautiful; and when the sun
_shines_, it shines; here it burns.'

'Not to-day,' said Esther gleefully. 'How nice it is!'

She might say so, for if the spring is rough in New England, and there
is no denying it, there do nevertheless come days of bewitching,
entrancing, delicious beauty, in the midst of the rest. Days when the
air and sky and sunlight are in a kind of poise of delight, and earth
beneath them, is, as it were, still with pleasure. I suppose the spring
may be more glorious in other lands,--more positively glorious; whether
relatively, I do not know. With such contrasts before and behind
them,--contrasts of raw, chill air, and rough, cutting winds, with
skies of grey and gloom,--one of these perfect days of a lost Paradise
stands in a singular setting. It was such a day when Esther and
Christopher went after dandelions. Still, balmy air, a tender sky
slightly veiled with spring mistiness, light and warmth so gentle that
they were a blessing to a weary brain, yet so abundant that every bud
and leaf and plant and flower was unfolding and out-springing and
stretching upward and dispensing abroad all it had of sweetness. The
air was filled with sweetness; not the heavy odours of the blossoms of
summer, or the South, but a more delicate and searching fragrance from
resinous buds and freshly-opened tree flowers and the young green of
the shooting leaf. I don't know where spring gets it all, but she does
fling abroad her handfuls of perfume such as summer has no skill to
concoct, or perhaps she lacks the material. Esther drew in deep breaths
for the mere pleasure of breathing, and looked on all the world of
nature before her with an eye of quiet but intense content.

Christopher had been quite right in his hint about Esther's eyes. They
were of uncommon character. Thoughtful, grave, beautiful eyes; large,
and fine in contour and colour; too grave for the girl's years. But
Esther had lived all her life so far almost exclusively with grown
people, and very sober grown people too; for her mother's last years
had been dulled with sickness, and her father's with care, even if he
had not been--which he was--of a taciturn and sombre deportment in the
best of times. And this last year past had been one heavy with
mourning. So it was no wonder if the little girl's face showed undue
thoughtfulness, and a shade of melancholy all premature. And
Christopher was honestly glad to see the melancholy at least vanish
under the influence of the open earth and sky. The thoughtfulness, he
hoped, would go too some day.

The walk in itself offered nothing remarkable. Fields where the grass
was very green and fast growing; other fields that were rocky and
broken, and good for little except the sheep, and sometimes rose into
bare ridges and heights where spare savins were mingled with a variety
of deciduous trees; such was the ground the two went over this morning.
This morning, however, glorified everything; the fields looked soft,
the moss and lichens on the rocks were moist and fresh coloured, grey
and green and brown; the buds and young leafage of the trees were of
every lovely hue and shade that young vegetation can take; and here and
there Esther found a wild flower. When she found one, it was very apt
to be taken up by the roots with her little trowel, and bestowed in her
basket for careful transport home; and on the so endangered beauties in
her basket Esther looked down from time to time with fond and delighted
eyes.

'Are you going for cresses, Christopher?'

'No, Miss Esther, not at this time. Sarah has set her mind that she
must have boiled greens for dinner; and her will must be done. And here
is the article--not boiled yet, however.'

He stopped and stooped, and with a sharp knife cut a bunch of
stout-looking leaves growing in the grass; then made a step to another
bunch, a yard off, and then to another.

'What are they, Christopher?'

'Just dandelions, Miss Esther. _Leontodon taraxacum_.'

'Dandelions! But the flowers are not out yet.'

'No, Miss Esther. If they was out, Sarah might whistle for her greens.'

'Why? You could tell better where they are.'

'They wouldn't be worth the finding, though.'

Christopher went on busily cutting. He did not seem to need the yellow
blossoms to guide him.

'How can you be sure, Christopher, that you are always getting the
right ones?'

'Know the look o' their faces, Miss Esther.'

'The _flowers_ are their faces,' said the little girl.

Christopher laughed a little. 'Then what are the leaves?' said he.

'I don't know. The whole of them together show the _form_ of the plant.'

'Well, Miss Esther, wouldn't you know your father, the colonel, as far
off as you could see him, just by his figger?'

'But I know papa so well.'

'Not better than I know the _Leontodon_. See, Miss Esther, look at
these runcinate leaves.'

'Runcinate?'

'Toothed-pinnatifid. That's what it gets its name from; lion's tooth.
_Leontodon_ comes from two Greek words which mean a lion and a tooth.
See--there ain't another leaf like that in the hull meadow.'

'There are a great many kinds of leaves!' said Esther musingly.

'Like men's human figgers,' said the gardener sagely. 'Ain't no two on
'em just alike.'

Talking and cutting, they had crossed the meadow and came to a rocky
height which rose at one side of it; such as one is never very far from
in New England. Here there were no dandelions, but Esther eagerly
sought for something more ornamental. And she found it. With
exclamations of deep delight she endeavoured to dig up a root of
bloodroot which lifted its most delicate and dainty blossom a few
inches above the dead leaves and moss with which the ground under the
trees was thickly covered. Christopher came to her help.

'What are you goin' to do with this now, Miss Esther?'

'I want to plant it out in my garden. Won't it grow?'

Christopher answered evasively. 'These here purty little things is
freaky,' said he. 'They has notions. Now the _Sanguinaria_ likes just
what it has got here; a little bit of rich soil, under shade of woods,
and with covering of wet dead leaves for its roots. It's as dainty as a
lady.'

'_Sanguinaria?_' said Esther. 'I call it bloodroot.'

'_Sanguinaria canadensis_. That's its name, Miss Esther.'

'Why isn't the other its name?'

'That's its nickname, you may say. Look here, Miss Esther,--here's the
_Hepatica_ for you.'

Esther sprang forward to where Christopher was softly pushing dead
leaves and sticks from a little low bunch of purple flowers. She
stretched out her hand with the trowel, then checked herself.

'Won't that grow either, Christopher?'

'It'll grow _here_, Miss Esther. See,--ain't that nice?' he said, as he
bared the whole little tuft.

Esther's sigh came from the depths of her breast, as she looked at it
lovingly.

'This is _Hepatica acutiloba_. I dare say we'd find the other, if we
had time to go all over the other side of the hill.'

'What other?'

'The _americana_, Miss Esther. But I'm thinking, them greens must go in
the pot.'

'But what _is_ this lovely little thing? What's its name, I mean?'

'It's the _Hepatica_, Miss Esther; folks call it liverleaf. We ought to
find the _Aquilegia_ by this time; but I don't see it.'

'Have you got dandelions enough?'

'All I'll try for. Here's something for you, though,' said he, reaching
up to the branches of a young tree, the red blossoms of which were not
quite out of reach; 'here's something pretty for you; here's _Acer
rubrum_.'

'And what is _Acer rubrum?_'

'Just soft maple, Miss Esther.'

'Oh, that is beautiful! Do you know everything that grows, Christopher?'

'No, Miss Esther; there's no man living that does that. They say it
would take all one man's life to know just the orchids of South
America; without mentioning all that grows in the rest of the world.
There's an uncommon great number of plants on the earth, to be sure!'

'And trees.'

'Ain't trees plants, mum?'

'Are they? Christopher, are those dandelions _weeds?_'

'No, Miss Esther; they're more respectable.'

'How do you know they're not weeds?'

Christopher laughed a little, partly at his questioner, partly at the
question; nevertheless the answer was not so ready as usual.

'They ain't weeds, however, Miss Esther; that's all I can tell you.'

'What are weeds, then?'

'I don't know, mum,' said Christopher grimly. 'They're plants that has
no manners.'

'But some good plants have no manners,' said Esther, amused. 'I know
I've heard you say, they ran over everything, and wouldn't stay in
their places. You said it of moss pink, and lily of the valley. Don't
you remember?'

'Yes mum, I've cause to remember; by the same token I've been trimming
the box. That thing grows whenever my back is turned!'

'But it isn't a weed?'

'No mum! No mum! The _Buxus_ is a very distinguished family indeed, and
holds a high rank, it does.'

'Then I don't see what _is_ a weed, Christopher.'




CHAPTER II.

_AT HOME_.


Upon reaching home Esther sought to place her bloodroot in safety,
giving it a soft and well-dug corner in her little plot of garden
ground. She planted it with all care in the shadow of a rose-bush; and
then went in to put her other flowers in water.

The sitting-room, whither she went, was a large, low, pleasant place;
very simply furnished, yet having a cheerful, cosy look, as places do
where people live who know how to live. The room, and the house, no
doubt, owed its character to the rule and influence of Mrs.
Gainsborough, who was there no longer, and to a family life that had
passed away. The traces abode still. The chintz hangings and the carpet
were of soft colours and in good harmony; chairs and lounges were
comfortable; a great many books lined the walls, so many indeed that
the room might have been styled the library. A portfolio with
engravings was in one place; Mrs. Gainsborough's work-table in another;
some excellent bronzes on the bookcases; one or two family portraits,
by good hands; and an embroidery frame. A fine English mastiff was
sleeping on the rug before the fire; for the weather was still cold
enough within doors to make a fire pleasant, and Colonel Gainsborough
was a chilly man.

He lay on the couch when Esther came in with her flowers; a book in his
hand, but not held before his eyes. He was a handsome man, of a severe,
grave type; though less well-looking at this time because of the
spiritless, weary, depressed air which had become his habit; there was
a want of spring and life and hope in the features and in the manner
also of the occupant of the sofa. He looked at Esther languidly, as she
came in and busied herself with arranging her maple blossoms, her
Hepatica and one or two delicate stems of the bloodroot in a little
vase. Her father looked at the flowers and at her, in silence.

'Papa, aren't those _beautiful?_' she asked with emphasis, bringing the
vase, when she had finished, to his side.

'What have you got there, Esther?'

'Just some anemones, and liverleaf, and bloodroot, and maple blossoms,
papa; but Christopher calls them all sorts of big names.'

'They are very fragile blossoms,' the colonel remarked.

'Are they? They won't do in the garden, Christopher says, but they grow
nicely out there in the wood. Papa, what is the difference between a
weed and a flower?'

'I should think you were old enough to know.'

'I know them by sight--sometimes. But what is the _difference?_'

'Your eyes tell you, do they not?'

'No, papa. They tell me, sometimes, which is which; but I mean, why
isn't a flower a weed? I asked Christopher, but he couldn't tell me.'

'I do not understand the question. It seems to me you are talking
nonsense.'

The colonel raised his book again, and Esther took the hint, and went
back to the table with her flowers. She sat down and looked at them.
Fair they were, and fresh, and pure; and they bore spring's messages,
to all that could hear the message. If Esther could, it was in a
half-unconscious way, that somehow awakened by degrees almost as much
pain as pleasure. Or else, it was simply that the glow and stir of her
walk was fading away, and allowing the old wonted train of thought to
come in again. The bright expression passed from her face; the features
settled into a melancholy dulness, most unfit for a child and painful
to see; there was a droop of the corners of the mouth, and a lax fall
of the eyelids, and a settled gloom in the face, that covered it and
changed it like a mask. The very features seemed to grow heavy, in the
utter heaviness of the spirit.

She sat so for a while, musing, no longer busy with such pleasant
things as flowers and weeds; then roused herself. The weariness of
inaction was becoming intolerable. She went to a corner of the room,
where a large mahogany box was half-concealed beneath a table covered
with a cloth; with a good deal of effort she lugged the box forth. It
was locked, and she went to the sofa.

'Papa, may I look at the casts?'

'Yes.'

'You have got the key, papa.'

The key was fished out of the colonel's waistcoat pocket, and Esther
sat down on the floor and unlocked the box. It was filled with casts in
plaster of Paris, of old medals and bas-reliefs; and it had long been a
great amusement of Esther's to take them all out and look at them, and
then carefully pack them all away again between their layers of soft
paper and cotton batting. In the nature of the case, this was an
amusement that would pall if too often repeated; so it rarely happened
that Esther got them out more than three or four times a year. This
time she had hardly begun to take them out and place them carefully on
the table, when Mrs. Barker came in to lay the cloth for dinner. Esther
must put the casts back, and defer her amusement till another time in
the day.

Meals were served now for the colonel and his daughter in this same
room, which served for sitting-room and library. The dining-room was
disused. Things had come by degrees to this irregularity, Mrs. Barker
finding that it made her less work, and the colonel in his sorrowful
abstraction hardly knowing and not at all caring where he took his
dinner. The dinner was carefully served, however, and delicately
prepared; for there Barker's pride came in to her help; and besides,
little as Colonel Gainsborough attended now to the food he ate, it is
quite possible that he would have rebelled against any disorder in that
department of the household economy.

The meal times were sorrowful occasions to both the solitary personages
who now sat down to the table. Neither of them had become accustomed
yet to the empty place at the board. The colonel ate little and talked
none at all; and only Esther's honest childish appetite saved these
times from being seasons of intolerable gloom. Even so, she was always
glad when dinner was done.

By the time that it was over to-day, and the table cleared, Esther's
mood had changed; and she no longer found the box of casts attractive.
She had seen what was in it so often before, and she knew just what she
should find. At the same time she was in desperate want of something to
amuse her, or at least to pass away the time, which went so slowly if
unaided. She bethought her of trying another box, or series of boxes,
over which she had seen her father and mother spend hours together; but
the contents hitherto had not seemed to her interesting. The key was on
the same chain with the key of the casts; Esther sat down on the floor
by one of the windows, having shoved one of the boxes into that
neighbourhood, turned the key, and opened the cover. Her father was
lying on the couch again and gave her no attention, and Esther made no
call upon him for help.

An hour or two had passed. Esther had not changed her place, and the
box, which contained a quantity of coins, was still open; but the
child's hands lay idly in her lap, and her eyes were gazing into
vacancy. Looking back, perhaps, at the images of former days; smiling
images of light and love, in scenes where her mother's figure filled
all the foreground. Colonel Gainsborough did not see how the child sat
there, nor what an expression of dull, hopeless sorrow lay upon her
features. All the life and variety of which her face was abundantly
capable had disappeared; the corners of the mouth drawn down, the brow
rigid, the eyes rayless, she sat an image of childish desolation. She
looked even stupid, if that were possible to Esther's features and
character.

What the father did not see was revealed to another person, who came in
noiselessly at the open door. This new-comer was a young man, hardly
yet arrived at the dignity of young manhood; he might have been
eighteen, but he was really older than his years. His figure was well
developed, with broad shoulders and slim hips, showing great muscular
power and the symmetry of beauty as well. The face matched the figure;
it was strong and fine, full of intelligence and life, and bearing no
trace of boyish wilfulness. If wilfulness was there, which I think, it
was rather the considered and consistent wilfulness of a man. As he
came in at the open door, Esther's position and look struck him; he
paused half a minute. Then he came forward, came to the colonel's sofa,
and standing there bowed respectfully.

The colonel's book went down. 'Ah, William,' said he, in a tone of
indifferent recognition.

'How do you do, sir, to-day?'

'Not very well! my strength seems to be giving way, I think, by
degrees.'

'We shall have warm weather for you soon again, sir; that will do you
good.'

'I don't know,' said the colonel. 'I doubt it; I doubt it. Unless it
could give me the power of eating, which it cannot.

'You have no appetite?'

'That does not express it.'

There was an almost imperceptible flash in the eyes that were looking
down at him, the features, however, retaining their composed gravity.

'Perhaps shad will tempt you. We shall have them very soon now. Can't
you eat shad?'

'Shad,' repeated the colonel. 'That's your New England piscatory
dainty? I have never found out why it is so reckoned.'

'You cannot have eaten them, sir; that's all. That is, not cooked
properly. Take one broiled over a fire of corn cobs.'

'A fire of corn cobs!'

'Yes, sir; over the coals of such a fire, of course, I mean.'

'Ah! What's the supposed advantage?'

'Flavour, sir; gusto; a spicy delicacy, which from being the spirit of
the fire comes to be the spirit of the fish. It is difficult to put
anything so ethereal into words.' This was spoken with the utmost
seriousness.

'Ah!' said the colonel. 'Possibly. Barker manages those things.'

'You do not feel well enough to read to-day, sir?'

'Yes,' said the colonel, 'yes. One must do something. As long as one
lives, one must try to do something. Bring your book here, William, if
you please. I can listen, lying here.'

The hour that followed was an hour of steady work. The colonel liked
his young neighbour, who belonged to a family also of English
extraction, though not quite so recently moved over as the colonel's
own. Still, to all intents and purposes, the Dallases were English; had
English connections and English sympathies; and had not so long mingled
their blood with American that the colour of it was materially altered.
It was natural that the two families should have drawn near together in
social and friendly relations; which relations, however, would have
been closer if in church matters there had not been a diverging power,
which kept them from any extravagance of neighbourliness. This young
fellow, however, whom the colonel called 'William,' showed a
carelessness as to church matters which gave him some of the advantages
of a neutral ground; and latterly, since his wife's death, Colonel
Gainsborough had taken earnestly to the fine, spirited young man;
welcomed his presence when he came; and at last, partly out of
sympathy, partly out of sheer loneliness and emptiness of life, he had
offered to read the classics with him, in preparation for college. And
this for several months now they had been doing; so that William was a
daily visitor in the colonel's house.




CHAPTER III.

_THE BOX OF COINS_.


The reading went on for a good hour. Then the colonel rose from his
sofa and went out, and young Dallas turned to Esther. During this hour
Esther had been sitting still in her corner by her boxes; not doing
anything; and her face, which had brightened at William's first coming
in, had fallen back very nearly to its former heavy expression. Now it
lighted up again, as the visitor left his seat and came over to her. He
had not been so taken up with his reading but he had noticed her from
time to time; observed the drooping brow and the dull eye, and the sad
lines of the lips, and the still, spiritless attitude. He was touched
with pity for the child, whom he had once been accustomed to see very
different from this. He came and threw himself down on the floor by her
side.

'Well, Queen Esther!' said he. 'What have you got there?'

'Coins.'

'Coins! What are you doing with them?'

'Nothing.'

'So it seems. What do you want to do?'

'I wanted to amuse myself.'

'And don't succeed? Naturally. What made you think you would?
Numismatology isn't what one would call a _lively_ study. What were you
going to do with these old things, eh?'

'Nothing,' said Esther hopelessly. 'I used to hear papa talk about
them; and I liked to hear him.'

'Why don't you get him to talk to you about them again?'

'Oh, he was not talking to _me_.'

'To whom, then?'

Esther hesitated; the young man saw a veil of moisture suddenly dim the
grave eyes, and the lips that answered him were a little unsteady.

'It was mamma,' she breathed rather than spoke.

'And you liked to hear?' he went on purposely.

'Oh, yes. But now I can't understand anything by myself.'

'You can understand by yourself as much as most people I know. Let us
see what you have got here. May I look?'

He lifted a small piece of metal out of its nest, in a shallow tray
which was made by transverse slips of wood to be full of such nests, or
little square compartments. The trays were beautifully arranged, one
fitting close upon another till they filled the box to its utmost
capacity.

'What have we here? This piece has seen service. Here is a tree, Queen
Esther,--a flourishing, spreading tree,--and below it the letters, R.
E. P. F., if I read aright, and then the word "Reich." What is that,
now? "R. E. P. F. Reich." And here is a motto above, I am sorry to say,
so far worn that my reading it is a matter of question. "Er,"--that is
plain,--then a worn word, then, "das Land." Do you understand German?'

'No; I don't know anything.'

'Too sweeping, Queen Esther. But I wish I could read that word! Let us
try the other side. Ha! here we have it. "Lud. xvi."--two letters I
can't make out--then "Fr. and Nav. Rex." Louis the Sixteenth, king of
France and Navarre.'

'I know him, I believe,' said Esther. 'He was beheaded, wasn't he, in
the great French revolution?'

'Just that. He was not a wise man, you know.'

'If he had been a wise man, could he have kept his life?'

'Well, I don't know, Queen Esther, whether any wisdom would have been
wise enough for that. You see, the people of France were mad; and when
a people get mad, they don't listen to reason, naturally. Here's
another, now; what's this? "Zeelandia, 1792," not so very old. On the
other side--here's a shield, peculiar too; with the motto plain
enough,--"Luctor et emergo." A good motto that.'

'What does it mean?'

'It means, something like--"Struggle and come out," or "come
through,"--literally, "emerge." Our English word comes from it. Colonel
Gainsborough does not teach you Latin, then?'

'No,' said Esther, sighing. 'He doesn't teach me much lately, of
anything.'

Dallas cast a quick look at the girl, and saw again the expression of
quiet hopelessness that had moved him. He went on turning over the
coins.

'Do you want to learn Latin?'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'Why do _you_ want to learn it, Pitt?'

'Well, you see, it is different. I must, you know. But queens are not
expected to know the dead languages--not Queen Esther, at any rate.'

'Do you learn them because it is expected of you?'

The young man laughed a little.

'Well, there _are_ other reasons. Now here's a device. Two lions
rampant--shield surmounted by a crown; motto, "Sp. nos in Deo." _Let us
hope in God_.'

'Whose motto was that?'

'Just what I can't make out. I don't know the shield--which I ought to
know; and the reverse of the coin has only some unintelligible letters:
D. Gelriae, 1752. Let us try another, Queen Esther. Ha! here's a coin
of William and Mary--both their blessed heads and names; and on the
reverse a figure three, and the inscription claiming that over Great
Britain, _France_ and Ireland, they were "Rex and Regina." Why, this
box of coins is a capital place to study history.'

'I don't know history,' Esther said.

'But you are going to know it.'

'Am I? How can I?'

'Read.'

'I don't know what to read. I have just read a little history of
England--that's all. Mother gave me that. But when I read, there are so
many things I don't know and want to ask about.'

'Ask the colonel.'

'Oh, he doesn't care to be troubled,' the little girl said sadly.

'Ask me.'

'_You!_ But you are not here to ask.'

'True; well, we must see. Ah, here's a pretty thing! See, Esther,
here's an elegant crown, really beautiful, with the fleurs de lys of
France, and the name of the luckless Louis XVI. "Roi de France and de
Navarre" but no date. On the other side, "Isles de France and de
Bourbon." These coins seem to belong to European history.'

'There's another box with Greek and Roman coins, and, the names of
Roman emperors; but I know _them_ even less still than I do these,'
said Esther.

'Your want of knowledge seems to weigh upon your mind, Queen Esther.'

'I can't help it,' said the little girl resignedly.

'Are you sure of that? I am not. Well, I wish I knew who this is.'

He had taken up a very small coin, much less than a three-cent piece,
and with the help of a magnifying glass was studying it eagerly.

'Why?' said Esther.

'It is such a beautiful head! Wonderfully beautiful, and old. Crowned,
and with a small peaked beard; but the name is so worn off. On the
other side "Justitia." Queen Esther, this box is a first-rate place to
study history.'

'Is it?'

'It is. What do you say? Suppose you let me come here and study history
with you over these old coins; and then you come over to my house and
learn Latin with me. Hey?'

He glanced up, and Esther looked at him with a wondering, grave,
inquiring face. He nodded in answer and smiled, a little quizzically.

'What do you mean, Pitt?'

'There was a wise man once, who said, the use of language is to conceal
one's thoughts. I hope you are not labouring under the impression that
such is _my_ practice and belief?'

'But would you teach me?' said the girl gravely.

'If your majesty approves.'

'I think it would be very troublesome to you?'

'I, on the contrary, think it would not.'

'But it would after a little while?' said Esther.

'When I want to stop, I'll let you know.'

'Will you? Would you?'

'Both would and will.'

The girl's face grew intense with life, yet without losing its gravity.

'When, Pitt? When would you teach me, I mean?'

'I should say, every day; wouldn't you?'

'And you'll come here to study the coins?'

'And teach you what I learn.'

'Oh! And you'll give me Latin lessons? Lessons to study?'

'Certainly.'

'And we will study history over the coins?'

'Don't you think it will be a good way? Here's a coin of Maria Theresa,
now: 1745, Hungary and Böhmen, that is Bohemia. This old piece of
copper went through the Seven Years' war.'

'What war was that?'

'Oh, we'll read about it, Queen Esther. "Ad usum," "Belgae, Austria."
These coins are delightful. See here--don't you want to go for a walk?'

'Oh yes! I've had one walk to-day already, and it just makes me want
another. Did you see my flowers?'

She jumped up and brought them to him.

'Here's the liverleaf, and anemone, and bloodroot; and we couldn't find
the columbine, but it must be out. Christopher calls them all sorts of
hard names, that I can't remember.'

'_Anemone_ is anemone, at any rate. These two, Esther, this and the
_Hepatica_, belong to one great family, the family of the
Crowfoots--Ranunculaceae.'

'Oh, but that is harder and harder!'

'No it isn't; it is easier and easier. See, these belong to one family;
so you learn to know them as relations, and then you can remember them.'

'How do you know they are of the same family?'

'Well, they have the family features. They all have an acrid sap or
juice, exogenous plants, with many stamens. These are the stamens, do
you know? They have calyx and corolla both, and the corolla has
separate petals, see; and the Ranunculaceae have the petals and sepals
deciduous, and the leaves generally cut, as you see these are. They are
what you may call a bitter family; it runs in the blood, that is to
say, in the juice of them; and a good many of the members of the family
are downright wicked, that is, poisonous.'

'Pitt, you talk very queerly?'

'Not a bit more queer than the things are I am talking of. Now this
_Sanguinaria_ belongs to the Papaveraceae--the poppy family.'

'Does it! But it does not look like them, like poppies.'

'This coloured juice that you see when you break the stem, is one of
the family marks of this family. I won't trouble you with the others.
But you must learn to know them, Queen Esther. King Solomon knew every
plant from the royal cedar to the hyssop on the wall; and I am sure a
queen ought to know as much. Now the blood of the Papaveraceae has a
taint also; it is apt to have a narcotic quality.'

'What is narcotic?'

'Putting to sleep.'

'That's a good quality.'

'Hm!' said Dallas; 'that's as you take it. It isn't healthy to go so
fast asleep that you never can wake up again.'

'Can people do that?' asked Esther in astonishment.

'Yes. Did you never hear of people killing themselves with laudanum, or
opium?'

'I wonder why the poppy family was made so?'

'Why not?'

'So mischievous.'

'That's when people take too much of them. They are very good for
medicine sometimes, Queen Esther.'

The girl's appearance by this time had totally changed. All the dull,
weary, depressed air and expression were gone; she was alert and erect,
the beautiful eyes filled with life and eagerness, a dawning of colour
in the cheeks, the brow busy with stirring thoughts. Esther's face was
a grave face still, for a child of her years; but now it was a noble
gravity, showing intelligence and power and purpose; indicating
capacity, and also an eager sympathy with whatever is great and worthy
to take and hold the attention. Whether it were history that Dallas
touched upon, or natural science; the divisions of nations or the
harmonies of plants; Esther was ready, with her thoughtful, intent
eyes, taking in all he could give her; and not merely as a snatch-bite
of curiosity, but as the satisfaction of a good healthy mental appetite
for mental food.

Until to-day the young man had never concerned himself much about
Esther. Good nature had moved him to-day, when he saw the dullness that
had come over the child and recognised her forlorn solitude; and now he
began to be interested in the development of a nature he had never
known before. Young Dallas was a student of everything natural that
came in his way, but this was the first bit of human nature that had
consciously interested him. He thought it quite worth investigating a
little more.




CHAPTER IV.

_LEARNING_.


They had a most delightful walk. It was not quite the first they had
taken together; however, they had had none like this. They roved
through the meadows and over the low rocky heights and among the
copsewood, searching everywhere for flowers, and finding a good variety
of the dainty and delicate spring beauties. Columbine, most elegant,
stood in groups upon the rocks; _Hepatica_ hid under beds of dead
leaves; the slender _Uvularia_ was met with here and there; anemone and
bloodroot and wild geranium, and many another. And as they were
gathered, Dallas made Esther observe their various features and family
characteristics, and brought her away from Christopher's technical
phraseology to introduce her instead to the living and everlasting
relations of things. To this teaching the little girl presently lent a
very delighted ear, and brought, he could see, a quick wit and a keen
power of discrimination. It was one thing to call a delicate little
plant arbitrarily _Sanguinaria canadensis;_ it was another thing to
find it its place among the floral tribes, and recognise its kindred
and associations and family character.

On their way home, Dallas proposed that Esther should stop at his house
for a minute, and become a little familiar with the place where she was
to come to study Latin; and he led her in as he spoke.

The Dallases' house was the best in the village. Not handsome in its
exterior, which bore the same plain and somewhat clumsy character as
all the other buildings in its neighbourhood; but inside it was
spacious, and had a certain homely elegance. Rooms were large and
exceedingly comfortable, and furnished evidently with everything
desired by the hearts of its possessors. That fact has perhaps more to
do with the pleasant, _liveable_ air of a house than aesthetic tastes
or artistic combinations apart from it. There was a roomy verandah,
with settees and cane chairs, and roses climbing up the pillars and
draping the balustrade. The hall, which was entered next, was wide and
homelike, furnished with settees also, and one or two tables, for
summer occupation, when doors could be set open front and back and the
wind play through. Nobody was there to-day, and Dallas turned to a door
at the right and opened it. This let them into a large room where a
fire was burning, and a soft genial warmth met them, along with a
certain odour, which Esther noticed and felt without knowing what it
was. It was very faint, yet unmistakeable; and was a compound probably
made up from the old wood of the house, burning coals in the chimney,
great cleanliness, and a distant, hidden, secret store of all manner of
delicate good things, fruits and sweets and spices, of which Mrs.
Dallas's store closet held undoubtedly a great stock and variety. The
brass of the old-fashioned grate glittered in the sunlight, it was so
beautifully kept; between the windows hung a circular mirror, to the
frame of which were appended a number of spiral, slim, curling
branches, like vine tendrils, each sustaining a socket for a candle.
The rest of the furniture was good; dark and old and comfortable;
painted vases were on the mantelpiece, and an old portrait hung over
it. The place made a peculiar agreeable impression upon any one
entering it; ease and comfort and good living were so at home in it,
and so invited one to take part in its advantages. Esther had hardly
been in the house since the death of her mother, and it struck her
almost as a stranger. So did the lady sitting there, in state, as it
seemed to the girl.

For Mrs. Dallas was a stately person. Handsome, tall, of somewhat large
and full figure and very upright carriage; handsomely dressed; and with
a calm, superior air of confidence, which perhaps had more effect than
all the other good properties mentioned. She was sitting in an
easy-chair, with some work in her hands, by a little work-table on
which lay one or two handsomely bound books. She looked up and reviewed
Esther as her son and she came in.

'I have brought Esther Gainsborough, mother; you know her, don't you?'

'I know her, certainly,' Mrs. Dallas answered, holding out her hand to
the child, who touched it as somewhat embodying a condescension rather
than a kindness. 'How is your father, my dear?'

'He does not feel very well,' said Esther; 'but he never does.'

'Pity!' said the lady; but Esther could not tell what she meant. It was
a pity, of course, that her father did not feel well. 'Where have you
been all this while?' the lady went on, addressing her son.

'Where?--well, in reality, walking over half the country. See our
flowers! In imagination, over half the world. Do you know what a
collection of coins Colonel Gainsborough has?'

'No,' said the lady coldly.

'He has a very fine collection.'

'I see no good in coins that are not current.'

'Difference of opinion, you see, there, mother. An old piece, which
when it was current was worth only perhaps a farthing or two, now when
its currency is long past would sell maybe for fifty or a hundred
pounds.'

'That is very absurd, Pitt!'

'Not altogether.'

'Why not?'

'Those old coins are history.'

'You don't want them for history. You have the history in books.'

Pitt laughed.

'Come away, Esther,' he said. 'Come and let me show you where you are
to find me when you want me.'

'Find you for what?' asked the lady, before they could quit the room.

'Esther is coming to take lessons from me,' he said, throwing his head
back laughingly as he went.

'Lessons! In what?'

'Anything she wants to learn, that I can teach her. We have been
studying history and botany to-day. Come along, Esther. We shall not
take our lessons _here_.'

He led the way, going out into the hall and at the further end of it
passing into a verandah which there too extended along the back of the
house. The house on this side had a long offset, or wing, running back
at right angles with the main building. The verandah also made an angle
and followed the side of this wing, which on the ground floor contained
the kitchen and offices. Half way of its length a stairway ran up, on
the outside, to a door nearer the end of the building. Up this stair
young Dallas went, and introduced Esther to a large room, which seemed
to her presently the oddest and also the most interesting that she had
ever in her life seen. Its owner had got together, apparently, the old
bits of furniture that his mother did not want any longer; there was an
old table, devoid of all varnish, in the floor, covered, however, with
a nice green cloth; two or three chairs were the table's
contemporaries, to judge by their style, and nothing harder or less
accommodating to the love of ease ever entered surely a cabinetmaker's
brain. The wood of which they were made had, however, come to be of a
soft brown colour, through the influence of time, and the form was not
inelegant. The floor was bare and painted, and upon it lay here an old
rug and there a great thick bearskin; and on the walls there were
several heads of animals, which seemed to Esther very remarkable and
extremely ornamental. One beautiful deer's head, with elegant horns;
and one elk head, the horns of which in their sweep and extent were
simply enormous; then there were one or two fox heads, and a raccoon;
and besides all these, the room was adorned with two or three birds,
very well mounted. The birds, as the animals, were unknown to Esther,
and fascinated her greatly. Books were in this room too, though not in
large numbers; a flower press was in one place, a microscope on the
table, a kind of _étagère_ was loaded with papers; and there were
boxes, and glasses, and cases; and a general air of a place where a
good deal of business was done, and where a variety of tastes found at
least attempted gratification. It was a pleasant room, though the
description may not sound like it; the heterogeneous articles were in
nice order; plenty of light blazed in at the windows, and the bearskin
on the floor looked eminently comfortable. If that were luxurious, it
was the only bit of luxury in the room.

'Where will you sit?' asked its owner, looking round. 'There isn't
anything nice enough for you. I must look up a special chair for you to
occupy when you come here. How do you like my room?'

'I like it--very much,' said Esther slowly, turning her eyes from one
strange object to another.

'Nobody comes here but me, so we shall have no interruption to fear.
When you come to see me, Queen Esther, you will just go straight
through the house, out on the piazza, and up these stairs, with out
asking anybody; and then you will turn the handle of the door and come
in, without knocking. If I am here, well and good; if I am not here,
wait for me. You like my deer's horns? I got them up in Canada, where I
have been on hunting expeditions with my father.'

'Did _you_ kill them?'

'Some of them. But that great elk head I bought.'

'What big bird is that?'

'That? That is the white-headed eagle--the American eagle.'

'Did that come from Canada too?'

'No; I shot him not far from here, one day, by great luck.'

'Are they difficult to shoot?'

'Rather. I sat half a day in a booth made with branches, to get the
chance. There were several of them about that day, so I lay in wait.
They are not very plenty just about here. That other fellow is the
great European lammergeyer.'

Esther had placed herself on one of the hard wooden chairs, but now she
rose and went nearer the birds, standing before them in great
admiration. Slowly then she went from one thing in the room to another,
pausing to contemplate each. A beautiful white owl, very large and
admirably mounted, held her eyes for some time.

'That is the Great Northern Owl,' observed her companion. 'They are
found far up in the regions around the North Pole, and only now and
then come so far south as this.'

'What claws!' said Esther.

'Talons. Yes, they would carry off a rabbit very easily.'

'Do they!' cried Esther, horrified.

'I don't doubt that fellow has carried off many a one, as well as hosts
of smaller fry--squirrels, mice, and birds.'

'He looks cruel,' observed Esther, with an abhorrent motion of her
shoulders.

'He does, rather. But he is no more cruel than all the rest.'

'The rest of what?' said Esther, turning towards him.

'The rest of creation--all the carnivorous portion of it, I mean.'

'Are they all like that? they don't look so. The eyes of pigeons, for
instance, are quite different.'

'Pigeons are not flesh-eaters.'

'Oh!' said Esther wonderingly. 'No, I know; they eat bread and grain;
and canary birds eat seeds. Are there _many_ birds that live on flesh?'

'A great many, Queen Esther. All creation, nearly, preys on some other
part of creation--except that respectable number that are granivorous,
and herbivorous, and graminivorous.'

Esther stood before the owl, musing; and Dallas, who was studying the
child now, watched her.

'But what I want to know, is,' began Esther, as if she were carrying on
an argument, '_why_ those that eat flesh look so much more wicked than
the others that eat other things?'

'Do they?' said Dallas. 'That is the first question.'

'Why, yes,' said Esther, 'they do, Pitt. If you will think. There are
sheep and cows and rabbits, and doves and chickens'--

'Halt there!' cried Dallas. 'Chickens are as good flesh-eaters as
anybody, and as cruel about it, too. See two chickens pulling at the
two ends of one earthworm.'

'Oh, don't!' said Esther. 'I remember they do; and they haven't nice
eyes either, Pitt. But little turkeys have.'

Dallas burst out laughing.

'Well, just think,' Esther persisted. 'Think of horses' beautiful eyes;
and then think of a tiger.'

'Or a cat,' said Dallas.

'But why is it, Pitt?'

'Queen Esther, my knowledge, such as it is, is all at your majesty's
service; but the information required lies not therein.'

'Well, isn't it true, what I said?'

'I am inclined to think, and will frankly admit, that there is
something in it.'

'Then don't you think there must be a _real_ difference, to make them
look so different? and that I wasn't wrong when I called the owl cruel!'

'The study of animal psychology, so far as I know, has never been
carried into a system. Meanwhile, suppose we come from what I cannot
teach, to what I can? Here's a Latin grammar for you.'

Esther came to his side immediately, and listened with grave attention
to his explanations and directions.

'And you want me to learn these declensions?'

'It is a necessary preliminary to learning Latin.'

Esther took the book with a very awakened and contented face; then put
a sudden irrelevant question. 'Pitt, why didn't you tell Mrs. Dallas
what you were going to teach me?'

The young man looked at her, somewhat amused, but not immediately ready
with an answer.

'Wouldn't she like you to give me lessons?'

'I never asked her,' he answered gravely.

Esther looked at him, inquiring and uncertain.

'I never asked her whether I might take lessons from your father,
either.'

'No, of course not; but'--

'But what?'

'I don't know. I don't want to do it if she would not like it.'

'Why shouldn't she like it? She has nothing to do with it. It is I who
am going to give you the lessons, not she. And now for a lesson in
botany.'

He brought out a quantity of his dried flowers, beautifully preserved
and arranged; and showed Esther one or two groups of plants, giving her
various initiatory instruction by the way. It was a most delightful
half hour to the little girl; and she went home after it, with her
Latin grammar in her hands, very much aroused and wakened up and
cheered from her dull condition of despondency; just what Pitt had
intended.




CHAPTER V.

_CONTAMINATION_.


The lessons went on, and the interest on both sides knew no flagging.
Dallas had begun by way of experiment, and he was quite contented with
his success. In his room, over Latin and botany, at her own home, over
history and the boxes of coins, he and Esther daily spent a good deal
of time together. They were pleasant enough hours to him; but to her
they were sources of life-giving nourishment and delight. The girl had
been leading a forlorn existence; mentally in a desert and alone; and,
added to that, with an unappeased longing for her departed mother, and
silent, quiet, wearing grief for the loss of her. Even now, her
features often settled into the dulness which had so struck Dallas; but
gradually there was a lightening and lifting of the cloud: when
studying she was wholly intent on her business, and when talking or
reciting or examining flowers there was a play of life and thought and
feeling in her face which was a constant study to her young teacher, as
well as pleasure, for the change was his work. He read indications of
strong capacity; he saw the tokens of rare sensitiveness and delicacy;
he saw there was a power of feeling as well as a capacity for suffering
covered by the quiet composure and reserve of manner and habit which,
he knew, were rather signs of the depth of that which they covered.
Esther interested him. And then, she was so simply upright and honest,
and so noble in all her thoughts, so high-bred by nature as well as
education, that her young teacher's estimation constantly grew, and to
interest was soon added liking. He had half expected that when the
novelty was off the pleasure of study would be found to falter; but it
was no such matter. Esther studied as honestly as if she had been a
fifth form boy at a good school; with a delight in it which boys at
school, in any form, rarely bring to their work. She studied
absorbedly, eagerly, persistently; whatever pleasure she might get by
the way, she was plainly bent on learning; and she learned of course
fast. And in the botanical studies they carried on together, and in the
historical studies which had the coins for an illumination, the child
showed as keen enjoyment as other girls of her age are wont to feel in
a story-book or in games and plays. Of games and plays Esther knew
nothing; she had no young companions, and never had known any; her
intercourse had been almost solely with father and mother, and now only
the father was left to her. She would have been in danger of growing
morbid in her sorrow and loneliness, and her whole nature might have
been permanently and without remedy dwarfed, if at this time of her
life she had been left to grow like the wild things in the woods,
without sympathy or care. For some human plants need a good deal of
both to develop them to their full richness and fragrance; and Esther
was one of these. The loss of her mother had threatened to be an
irreparable injury to her. Colonel Gainsborough was a tenderly
affectionate father: still, like a good many men, he did not understand
child nature, could not adapt himself to it, had no sort of notion of
its wants, and no comprehension that it either needed or could receive
and return his sympathy. So he did not give sympathy to his child, nor
dreamed that she was in danger of starving for want of it. Indeed, he
had never in his life given much sympathy to anybody, except his wife;
and in the loss of his wife, Colonel Gainsborough thought so much of
himself was lost that the remainder probably would not last long. He
thought himself wounded to death. That it might be desirable, and that
it might be duty to live for his daughter's sake, was an idea that had
never entered his very masculine heart. Yet Colonel Gainsborough was a
good man, and even had the power of being a tender one; he had been
that towards his wife; but when she died he felt that life had gone
from him.

All this, more or less, young Dallas came to discern and understand in
the course of his associations with the father and daughter. And now it
was with a little pardonable pride and a good deal of growing
tenderness for the child, that he saw the change going on in Esther.
She was always, now as before, quiet as a mouse in her father's
presence; truly she was quiet as a mouse everywhere; but under the
outward quiet Dallas could see now the impulse and throb of the strong
and sensitive life within; the stir of interest and purpose and hope;
the waking up of the whole nature; and he saw that it was a nature of
great power and beauty. It was no wonder that the face through which
this nature shone was one of rare power and beauty too. Others could
see that, besides him.

'What a handsome little girl that is!' remarked the elder Dallas one
evening. Esther had just left the house, and his son come into the room.

'It seems to me she is here a great deal,' Mrs. Dallas said, after a
pause. The remark about Esther's good looks called forth no response.
'I see her coming and going pretty nearly every day.'

'Quite every day,' her son answered.

'And you go there every day!'

'I do. About that.'

'Very warm intercourse!'

'I don't know; not necessarily,' said young Dallas. 'The classics are
rather cool--and Numismatics refreshing and composing.'

'Numismatics! You are not teaching that child Numismatics, I suppose?'

'She is teaching me.'

Mrs. Dallas was silent now, with a dissatisfied expression. Her husband
repeated his former remark.

'She's a handsome little maid. Are you teaching her, Pitt?'

'A little, sir.'

'What, pray? if I may ask.'

'Teaching her to support existence. It about comes to that.'

'I do not understand you, I confess. You are oracular.'

'I did not understand _her_, until lately. It is what nobody else does,
by the way.'

'Why should not anybody else understand her?' Mrs. Dallas asked.

'Should,--but they do not. That's a common case, you know, mother.'

'She has her father; what's the matter with him?'

'He thinks a good deal is the matter with him.'

'Regularly hipped,' said the elder Dallas. 'He has never held up his
head since his wife died. He fancies he is going after her as fast as
he can go. Perhaps he is; such fancies are often fatal.'

'It would do him good to look after his child,' Mrs. Dallas said.

'I wish you would put that in his head, mother.'

'Does he _not_ look after her?'

'In a sort of way. He knows where she is and where she goes; he has a
sort of outward care of her, and so far it is very particular care; but
there it stops.'

'She ought to be sent to school.'

'There is no school here fit for her.'

'Then she should be sent away, where there _is_ a school fit for her.'

'Tell the colonel so.'

'I shall not meddle in Colonel Gainsborough's affairs,' said Mrs.
Dallas, bridling a little; 'he is able to manage them himself; or he
thinks he is, which comes to the same thing. But I should say, that
child might better be in any other hands than his.'

'Well, she is not shut up to them,' said young Dallas, 'since I have
taken her in hand.'

He strolled out of the room as he spoke, and the two elder people were
left together. Silence reigned between them till the sound of his steps
had quite ceased to be heard.

Mrs. Dallas was working at some wool embroidery, and taking her
stitches with a thoughtful brow; her husband in his easy-chair was
carelessly turning over the pages of a newspaper. They were a contrast.
She had a tall, commanding figure, a gracious but dignified manner, and
a very handsome, stately face. There was nothing commanding, and
nothing gracious, about Mr. Dallas. His figure was rather small, and
his manner insignificant. He was not a handsome man, either, although
he may be said to have but just missed it, for his features were
certainly good; but he did miss it. Nobody spoke in praise of Mr.
Dallas's appearance. Yet his face showed sense; his eyes were shrewd,
if they were also cold; and the mouth was good; but the man's whole air
was unsympathetic. It was courteous enough; and he was careful and
particular in his dress. Indeed, Mr. Dallas was careful of all that
belonged to him. He wore long English whiskers of sandy hair, the head
crop being very thin and kept very close.

'Hildebrand,' said Mrs. Dallas when the sound of her son's footsteps
had died away, 'when are you going to send Pitt to college?'

Mr. Dallas turned another page of his newspaper, and did not hurry his
answer.

'Why?'

'And _where_ are you going to send him?'

'Really,' said Mr. Dallas, without ceasing his contemplation of the
page before him, 'I do not know. I have not considered the matter
lately.'

'Do you remember he is eighteen?'

'I thought you were not ready to let him go yet?'

Mrs. Dallas stopped her embroidery and sighed.

'But he must go, husband.'

Mr. Dallas made no answer. He seemed not to find the question pressing.
Mrs. Dallas sat looking at him now, neglecting her work.

'You have got to make up your mind to it, and so have I,' she went on
presently. 'He is ready for college. All this pottering over the
classics with Colonel Gainsborough doesn't amount to anything. It keeps
him out of idleness,--if Pitt ever could be idle,--but he has got to go
to college after all, sooner or later. He must go!' she repeated with
another sigh.

'No special hurry, that I see.'

'What's gained by delay? He's eighteen. That's long enough for him to
have lived in a place like this. If I had my way, Hildebrand, I should
send him to England.'

'England!'  Mr. Dallas put down his paper now and looked at his wife.
What had got into her head?

'Oxford is better than the things they call colleges in this country.'

'Yes; but it is farther off.'

'That's not a bad thing, in some respects. Hildebrand, you don't want
Pitt to be formed upon the model of things in this country. You would
not have him get radical ideas, or Puritanical.'

'Not much danger!'

'I don't know.'

'Who's to put them in his head? Gainsborough is not a bit of a radical.'

'He is not one of us,' said Mrs. Dallas. 'And Pitt is very independent,
and takes his own views from nobody or from anybody. See his educating
this girl, now.'

'Educating her!'

'Yes, he is with her and her father a great piece of every day; reading
and talking and walking and drying flowers and giving lessons. I don't
know what all they are doing. But in my opinion Pitt might be better
employed.'

'That won't last,' said the father with a half laugh.

'What ought not to last, had better not be begun,' Mrs. Dallas said
sententiously.

There was a pause.

'What are you afraid of, wife?'

'I am afraid of Pitt's wasting his time.'

'You have never been willing to have him go until now. I thought you
stood in the way.'

'He was not wasting his time until lately. He was as well at home. But
there must come an end to that,' the mother said, with another slight
sigh. She was not a woman given to sighing; it meant much from her.

'But England?' said Mr. Dallas. 'What's your notion about England?
Oxford is very well, but the ocean lies between.'

'Where would _you_ send him?'

'I'd send him to the best there is on this side.'

'That's not Oxford. I believe it would be good for him to be out of
this country for a while; forget some of his American notions, and get
right English ones. Pitt is a little too independent.'

The elder Dallas caressed his whiskers and pondered. If the truth were
told, he had been about as unwilling to let his son go away from home
as ever his mother could be. Pitt was simply the delight and pride of
both their hearts; the one thing they lived for; the centre of all
hopes, and the end of all undertakings. No doubt he must go to college;
but the evil day had been pushed far off, as far as possible. Pitt was
a son for parents to be proud of. He had the good qualities of both
father and mother, with some added of his own which they did not share,
and which perhaps therefore increased their interest in him.

'I expect he will have a word to say about the matter himself,' the
father remarked. 'Oh, well! there's no raging hurry, wife.'

'Husband, it would be a good thing for him to see the English Church as
it is in England, before he gets much older.'

'What then?'

'He would learn to value it. The cathedrals, and the noble services in
them, and the bishops; and the feeling that everybody around him goes
the same way; there's a great deal of power in that. Pitt would be
impressed by it.'

'By the feeling that everybody around him goes that way? Not he. That's
quite as likely to stir him up to go another way.'

'It don't work so, Hildebrand.'

'You think he's a likely fellow to be talked over into anything?'

'No; but he would be influenced. Nobody would try to talk him over, and
without knowing it he would feel the influence. He couldn't help it.
All the influence at Oxford would be the right way.'

'Afraid of the colonel? I don't think you need. He hasn't spirit enough
left in him for proselyting.'

'I am not speaking of anybody in particular. I am afraid of the air
here.'

Mr. Dallas laughed a little, but his face took a shade of gravity it
had not worn. Must he send his son away? What would the house be
without him?




CHAPTER VI.

_GOING TO COLLEGE_.


Whatever thoughts were harboured in the elder heads, nothing was spoken
openly, and no steps were taken for some time. All through the summer
the pleasant intercourse went on, and the lessons, and the botanizing,
and the study of coins. And much real work was done; but for Esther one
invaluable and abiding effect of a more general character was gained.
She was lifted out of her dull despondency, which had threatened to
become stagnation, and restored to her natural life and energy and the
fresh spring of youthful spirits. So, when her friend really went away
to college in the fall, Esther did not slip back to the condition from
which he had delivered her.

But the loss of him was a dreadful loss to the child, although Pitt was
not going over the sea, and would be home at Christmas. He tried to
comfort her with this prospect. Esther took no comfort. She sat silent,
tearless, pale, in a kind of despair. Pitt looked at her, half amused,
half deeply concerned.

'And you must go on with all your studies, Esther, you know,' he was
saying. 'I will show you what to do, and when I come home I shall go
into a very searching examination to see whether you have done it all
thoroughly.'

'Will you?' she said, lifting her eyes to him with a gleam of sudden
hope.

'Certainly! I shall give you lessons just as usual whenever I come
home; indeed, I expect I shall do it all your life. I think I shall
always be teaching and you always be learning. Don't you think that is
how it will be, Queen Esther?' he said kindly.

'You cannot give me lessons when you are away.'

'But when I come back!'

There was a very faint yet distinct lightening of the gloom in her
face. Yet it was plain Esther was not cheated out of her perception of
the truth. She was going to lose her friend; and his absence would be
very different from his presence; and the bits of vacation time would
not help, or help only by anticipation, the long stretches of months in
which there would be neither sight nor sound of him. Esther's looks had
brightened for a moment, but then her countenance fell again and her
face grew visibly pale. Pitt saw it with dismay.

'But Esther!' he said, 'this is nothing. Every man must go to college,
you know, just as he must learn swimming and boating; and so I must go;
but it will not last for ever.'

'How long?' said she, lifting her eyes to him again, heavy with their
burden of sorrow.

'Well, perhaps three years; unless I enter Junior, and then it would be
only two. That isn't much.'

'What will you do then?'

'Then? I don't know. Look after you, at any rate. Let us see. How old
will you be in two years?'

'Almost fourteen.'

'Fourteen. Well, you see you will have a great deal to do before you
can afford to be fourteen years old; so much that you will not have
time to miss me.'

Esther made no answer.

'I'll be back at Christmas anyhow, you know; and that's only three
months away, or a little more.'

'For how long?'

'Never mind; we will make a little do the work of a great deal. It will
seem a long time, it will be so good.'

'No,' said Esther; 'that will make it only the shorter.'

'Why, Esther,' said he, half laughing, 'I didn't know you cared so much
about me. I don't deserve all that.'

'I am not crying,' said the girl, rising with a sort of childish
dignity; 'but I shall be alone.'

They had been sitting on a rock, resting and talking, and now set out
again to go home. Esther spoke no more; and Pitt was silent, not
knowing what to say; but he watched her, and saw that if she had not
been crying at the time she had made that declaration, the tears had
taken their revenge and were coming now. Yet only in a calm, repressed
way; now and then he saw a drop fall, or caught a motion of Esther's
hand which could only have been made to prevent a drop from falling.
She walked along steadily, turning neither to the right hand nor the
left; she who ordinarily watched every hedgerow and ran to explore
every group of plants in the corner of a field, and was keen to see
everything that was to be seen in earth or heaven. Pitt walked along
silently too. He was at a careless age, but he was a generous-minded
fellow; and to a mind of that sort there is something exceedingly
attractive and an influence exceedingly powerful in the fact of being
trusted and depended on.

'Mother,' he said when he got home, 'I wish you would look after that
little girl now and then.'

'What little girl?'

'You must know whom I mean; the colonel's daughter.'

'The colonel is sufficient for that, I should say.'

'But you know what sort of a man he is. And she has no mother, nor
anybody else, except servants.'

'Isn't he fond of her?'

'Very fond; but then he isn't well, and he is a reserved, silent man;
the child is left to herself in a way that is bad for her.'

'What do you suppose I can do?'

'A great deal; if you once knew her and got fond of her, mother.'

Mrs. Dallas made no promise; however, she did go to see Esther. It was
about a week after Pitt's departure. She found father and daughter very
much as her son had found them the day he was introduced to the box of
coins. Esther was on the floor, beside the same box, and the colonel
was on his sofa. Mrs. Dallas did take the effect of the picture for
that moment before the colonel sprang up to receive her. Then she had
to do with a somewhat formal but courtly host, and the picture was
lost. The lady sat there, stately in her silks and laces, carrying on a
stiff conversation; for she and Colonel Gainsborough had few points of
sympathy or mutual understanding; and for a while she forgot Esther.
Then her eye again fell upon the child in her corner, sitting by her
box with a sad, uninterested air.

'And how is Esther?' she said, turning herself a little towards that
end of the room. 'Really I came to see Esther, colonel. How does she
do?'

'She is much obliged to you, and quite well, madam, I believe.'

'But she must want playmates, colonel. Why don't you send her to
school?'

'I would, if there were a good school at hand.'

'There are schools at New Haven, and Hartford, and Boston,--plenty of
schools that would suit you.'

'Only that, as you observe, they are at New Haven, and Hartford, and
Boston; out of my reach.'

'You couldn't do without her for a while?'

'I hardly think it; nor she without me. We are all, each of us, that
the other has.'

'Pitt used to give you lessons, didn't he?' the lady went on, turning
more decidedly to Esther. Esther rose and came near.

'Yes, ma'am.'

'What did he teach you?'

Now Esther felt no more congeniality than her father did with this
handsome, stately, commanding woman. Yet it would have been impossible
to the girl to say why she had an instant unwillingness to answer this
simple question. She did not answer it, except under protest.

'It began with the coins,' she said vaguely. 'He said we would study
history with them.'

'And did you?'

'Yes, ma'am.'

'How did you manage it? or how did he? He has original ways of doing
things.'

'Yes, ma'am. We used to take only one or two of the coins at once, and
then Pitt told me what to read.'

'What did he tell you to read?'

'A great many different books, at different times.'

'But tell Mrs. Dallas what books, Esther,' her father put in.

'There were so many, papa. Gibbon's History, and Plutarch's Lives, and
Rollin, and Vertot and Hume, and I--forget some of them.'

'How much of all these did you really read, Esther?'

'I don't know, ma'am. I read what he told me.'

The lady turned to Colonel Gainsborough with a peculiar smile. 'Sounds
rather heterogeneous!' she said.

It was on Esther's lips to justify her teacher, and say how far from
heterogeneous, how connected, and how thorough, and how methodical, the
reading and the study had been; and how enriched with talk and
explanations and descriptions and discussions. How delightful those
conversations were, both to herself and Pitt; how living the truth had
been made; how had names and facts taken on them the shape and
colouring of nature and reality. It rushed back upon Esther, and her
lips opened; and then, an inexplicable feeling of something like
caution came down upon her, and she shut her lips again.

'It was harmless amusement,' remarked the colonel carelessly.

Whether the mother thought that, may be questioned. She looked again at
the child standing before her; a child truly, with childlike innocence
and ignorance in her large eyes and pure lips. But the eyes were eyes
of beauty; and the lips would soon and readily take to themselves the
sweetness and the consciousness of womanhood, and a new bloom would
come upon the cheek. The colonel had never yet looked forward to all
that; but the wise eyes of the matron saw it as well as if already
before her. This little girl might well by and by be dangerous. If Mrs.
Dallas had come as a friend, she went away, in a sort, as an enemy, in
so far, at least, as Esther's further and future relations with her son
were concerned.

The colonel went back to his sofa. Esther sat down again by the coins.
She was not quite old enough to reflect much upon the developments of
human nature as they came before her; but she was conscious of a
disagreeable, troubled sensation left by this visit of Mrs. Dallas. It
had not been pleasant. It ought to have been pleasant: she was Pitt's
mother; she came on a kind errand; but Esther felt at once repelled and
put at a distance.

The child had not gone back to the dull despondency of the time before
Pitt busied himself with her; she was striving to fulfil all his
wishes, and working hard in order to accomplish more than he expected
of her. With the cherished secret hope of doing this, Esther was
driving at her books early and late. She went from the coins to the
histories Pitt had told her would illustrate them; she fagged away at
the dry details of her Latin grammar; she even tried to push her
knowledge of plants and see further into their relations with each
other, though in this department she felt the want of her teacher
particularly. From day to day it was the one pressing desire and
purpose in Esther's mind, to do more, and if possible much more, than
Pitt wanted her to do; so that she might surprise him and win his
respect and approbation. She thought, too, that she was in a fair way
to do this, for she was gaining knowledge fast, she knew; and it was a
great help towards keeping up spirit and hope and healthy action in her
mind. Nevertheless, she missed her companion and friend, with an
intense longing want of him which nobody even guessed. All the more
keen it was, perhaps, because she could speak of it to nobody. It
consumed the girl in secret, and was only saved from being disastrous
to her by the transformation of it into working energy, which
transformation daily went on anew. It did not help her much, or she
thought so, to remember that Pitt was coming home at the end of
December. He would not stay; and Esther was one of those thoughtful
natures that look all round a subject, and are not deceived by a first
fair show. He could not stay; and what would his coming and the delight
of it do, after all, but renew this terrible sense of want and make it
worse than ever? When he went away again, it would be for a long, long
time,--an absence of months; how was it going to be borne?

The problem of life was beginning early for Esther. And the child was
alone. Nobody knew what went on in her; she had nobody to whom she
could open her heart and tell her trouble; and the troubles we can tell
to nobody else somehow weigh very heavy, especially in young years. The
colonel loved his child with all of his heart that was not buried in
his wife's grave; still, he was a man, and like most men had little
understanding of the workings of a child's mind, above all of a girl's.
He saw Esther pale, thoughtful, silent, grave, for ever busy with her
books; and it never crossed his thoughts that such is not the natural
condition and wholesome manner of life for twelve years old. He knew
nothing for himself so good as books; why should not the same be true
for Esther? She was a studious child; he was glad to see her so
sensible.

As for Pitt, he had fallen upon a new world, and was busily finding his
feet, as it were. Finding his own place, among all these other
aspirants for human distinction; testing his own strength, among the
combatants in this wrestling school of human life; earning his laurels
in the race for learning; making good his standing and trying his power
amid the waves and currents of human influence. Pitt found his standing
good, and his strength quite equal to the call for it, and his power
dominating. At least it would have been dominating, if he had cared to
rule; all he cared for, as it happened, in that line, was to be
independent and keep his own course. He had done that always at home,
and he found no difficulty in doing it at college. For the rest, his
abilities were unquestioned, and put him at once at the head of his
fellows.




CHAPTER VII.

_COMING HOME_.


Without being at all an unfaithful friend, it must be confessed Pitt's
mind during this time was full of the things pertaining to his own new
life, and he thought little of Esther. He thought little of anybody; he
was not at a sentimental age, nor at all of a sentimental disposition,
and he had enough else to occupy him. It was not till he had put the
college behind him, and was on his journey home, that Esther's image
rose before his mental vision; the first time perhaps for months. It
smote him then with a little feeling of compunction. He recollected the
child's sensitive nature, her clinging to him, her lonely condition;
and the grave, sad eyes seemed to reproach him with having forgotten
her. He had not forgotten her; he had only not remembered. He might
have taken time to write her one little letter; but he had not thought
of it. Had she ceased to think of _him_ in any corresponding way? Pitt
was very sure she had not. Somehow his fancy was very busy with Esther
during this journey home. He was making amends for months of neglect.
Her delicate, tender, faithful image seemed to stand before
him;--forgetfulness would never be charged upon Esther, nor
carelessness of anything she ought to care for;--of that he was sure.
He was quite ashamed of himself, that he had sent her never a little
token of remembrance in all this time. He recalled the girl's eagerness
in study, her delight in learning, her modest, well-bred manner; her
evident though unconscious loving devotion to himself, and her profound
grief at his going away. There were very noble qualities in that young
girl that would develop--into what might they develop? and how would
those beautiful thoughtful eyes look from a woman's soul by and by? Had
his mother complied with his request and shown any kindness to the
child? Pitt had no special encouragement to think so. And what a life
it must be for such a creature, at twelve years old, to be alone with
that taciturn, reserved, hypochondriac colonel?

It was near evening when the stage-coach brought Pitt to his native
village and set him down at home. There was no snow on the ground yet,
and his steps rang on the hard frozen path as he went up to the door,
giving clear intimation of his approach. Within there was waiting. The
mother and father were sitting at the two sides of the fireplace, busy
with keeping up the fire to an unmaintainable standard of brilliancy,
and looking at the clock; now and then exchanging a remark about the
weather, the way, the distance, and the proper time of the expected
arrival,--till that sharp sound of a step on the gravel came to their
ears, and both parents started up and rushed to the door. There was a
general confusion of kisses and hand-clasps and embraces, from which
Pitt at last emerged.

'Oh, my boy, how late you are!'

'Not at all, mother; just right.'

'A tedious, cold ride, hadn't you?'

'No, mother; not at all. Roads in capital order; smooth as a plank
floor; came along splendidly; but there'll be snow to-morrow.'

'Oh, I hope not, till you get the greens!'

'Oh, I'll get the greens, never fear; and put them up, too.'

Wherewith they entered the brilliantly-lighted room, where the supper
table stood ready, and all eyes could meet eyes, and read tokens each
of the other's condition.

'He looks well,' said Mrs. Dallas, regarding her son.

'Why shouldn't I look well?'

'Hard work,' suggested the mother.

'Work is good for a fellow. I never got hard work enough yet. But home
is jolly, mother. That's the use of going away, I suppose,' said the
young man, drawing a chair comfortably in front of the fire; while Mrs.
Dallas rang for supper and gave orders, and then sat down to gaze at
him with those mother's eyes that are like nothing else in the world.
Searching, fond, proud, tender, devoted,--Pitt met them and smiled.

'I am all right,' he said.

'Looks so,' said the father contentedly. 'Hold your own, Pitt?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Ahead of everybody?'

'Yes, sir,' said the young man, a little more reservedly.

'I knew it!' said the elder man, rubbing his hands; 'I thought I knew
it. I made sure you would.'

'He hasn't worked too hard either,' said the mother, with a careful eye
of examination. 'He looks as he ought to look.'

A bright glance of the eye came to her. 'I tell you I never had enough
to do yet,' he said.

'And, Pitt, do you like it?'

'Like what, mother?'

'The place, and the work, and the people?--the students and the
professors?'

'That's what I should call a comprehensive question! You expect one yes
or no to cover all that?'

'Well, how do you like the people?'

'Mother, when you get a community like that of a college town, you have
something of a variety of material, don't you see? The people are all
sorts. But the faculty are very well, and some of them capital fellows.'

'Have you gone into society much?'

'No, mother. Had something else to do.'

'Time enough for that,' said the elder Dallas contentedly. 'When a man
has the money you'll have, my boy, he may pretty much command society.'

'Some sorts,' said Pitt.

'All sorts.'

'Must be a poor kind of society, I should say, that makes money the
first thing.'

'It's the best sort you can get in this world,' said the elder man,
chuckling. 'There's nothing but money that will buy bread and butter;
and they all want bread and butter. You'll find they all want bread and
butter, whatever else they want,--or have.'

'Of course they want it; but what has that to do with society?'

'You'll find out,' said the other, with an unctuous kind of complacency.

'But there's no society in this country,' said Mrs. Dallas. 'Now, Pitt,
turn your chair round,--here's the supper,--if you want to sit by the
fire, that is.'

The supper was a royal one, for Mrs. Dallas was a good housekeeper; and
the tone of it was festive, for the spirits of them all were in a very
gay and Christmas mood. So it was with a good deal of surprise as well
as chagrin that Mrs. Dallas, after supper, saw her son handling his
greatcoat in the hall.

'Pitt, you are not going out?'

'Yes, mother, for a little while.'

'Where can you be going?'

'I want to run over to Colonel Gainsborough's for a minute or two.'

'Colonel Gainsborough! You don't want to see him to-night?'

'Neither to-night nor any time--at least I can live without it; but
there's somebody else there that would like to see me. I'll be back
soon, mother.'

'But, Pitt, that is quite absurd! That child can wait till morning,
surely; and I want you myself. I think I have a better claim.'

'You have had me a good while already, and shall have me again,' said
Pitt, laughing. 'I am just going to steal a little bit of the evening,
mother. Be generous!'

And he opened the hall door and was off, and the door closed behind
him. Mrs. Dallas went back to the supper room with a very discomfited
face.

'Hildebrand,' she said, in a tone that made her husband look up, 'there
is no help for it! We shall have to send him to England.'

'What now?'

'Just what I told you. He's off to see that child. Off like the North
wind!--and no more to be held.'

'That's nothing new. He never could be held. Pity we didn't name him
Boreas.'

'But do you see what he is doing?'

'No.'

'He is off to see that child.'

'That child to-day, and another to-morrow. He's a boy yet.'

'Hildebrand, I tell you there is danger.'

'Danger of what?'

'Of what you would not like.'

'My dear, young men do not fall dangerously in love with children. And
that little girl is a child yet.'

'You forget how soon she will be not a child. And she is going to be a
very remarkable-looking girl, I can tell you. And you must not forget
another thing, husband; that Pitt is as persistent as he is wilful.'

'He's got a head, I think,' said Mr. Dallas, stroking his whiskers
thoughtfully.

'_That_ won't save him. It never saved anybody. Men with heads are just
as much fools, in certain circumstances, as men without them.'

'He might fancy some other child in England, if we sent him there, you
know.'

'Yes; but at least she would be a Churchwoman,' said Mrs. Dallas, with
her handsome face all cloudy and disturbed.

Meanwhile her son had rushed along the village street, or road rather,
through the cold and darkness, the quarter of a mile to Colonel
Gainsborough's house. There he was told that the colonel had a bad
headache and was already gone to his room.

'Is Miss Esther up?'

'Oh yes, sir,' said Mrs. Barker doubtfully, but she did not invite the
visitor in.

'Can I see her for a moment?'

'I haven't no orders, but I suppose you can come in, Mr. Dallas. It is
Mr. Dallas, ain't it?'

'Yes, it's I, Mrs. Barker,' said Pitt, coming in and beginning at once
to throw off his greatcoat. 'In the usual room? Is the colonel less
well than common?'

'Well, no, sir, not to call less well, as I knows on. It's the time o'
year, sir, I make bold to imagine. He has a headache bad, that he has,
and he's gone off to bed; but Miss Esther's well--so as she can be.'

Pitt got out of his greatcoat and gloves, and waited for no more. He
had a certain vague expectation of the delight his appearance would
give, and was a little eager to see it. So he went in with a bright
face to surprise Esther.

The girl was sitting by the table reading a book she had laid close
under the lamp; reading with a very grave face, Pitt saw too, and it a
little sobered the brightness of his own. It was not the dulness of
stagnation or of sorrow this time; at least Esther was certainly busily
reading; but it was sober, steady business, not the absorption of happy
interest or excitement. She looked up carelessly as the door opened,
then half incredulously as she saw the entering figure, then she shut
her book and rose to meet him. But then she did not show the lively
pleasure he had expected; her face flushed a little, she hardly smiled,
she met him as if he were more or less a stranger,--with much more
dignity and less eagerness than he was accustomed to from her. Pitt was
astonished, and piqued, and curious. However, he followed her lead, in
a measure.

'How do you do, Queen Esther?' he said, holding out his hand.

'How do you do, Pitt?' she answered, taking it; but with the oddest
mingling of reserve and doubt in her manner; and the great grave eyes
were lifted to his face for a moment, with, it seemed to him, something
of inquiry or questioning in them.

'Are you not glad to see me?'

'Yes,' she said, with another glance.

'Then _why_ are you not glad to see me?' he asked impetuously.

'I am glad to see you, of course,' she said. 'Won't you sit down?'

'This won't do, you know,' said the young man, half-vexed and
half-laughing, but wholly determined not to be kept at a distance in
this manner. 'I am not going to sit down, if you are going to treat me
like that.'

'Treat you how?'

'Why, as if I were a stranger, that you didn't care a pin about. What's
the matter, Queen Esther?'

Esther was silent. Pitt was half-indignant; and then he caught the
shimmer of something like moisture in the eyes, which were looking away
from him to the fire, and his mood changed.

'What is it, Esther?' he said kindly. 'Take a seat, your majesty, and
I'll do the same. I see there is some talking to be done here.'

He took the girl's hand and put her in her chair, and himself drew up
another near. 'Now what's the matter, Esther? Have you forgotten me?'

'No,' she said. 'But I thought--perhaps--you had forgotten me.'

'What made you think that?'

'You were gone away,' she said, hesitating; 'you were busy; papa said'--

'What did he say?'

'He said, probably I would never see you much more.'

But here the tears came to view undeniably; welled up, and filled the
eyes, and rolled over. Esther brushed them hastily away.

'And I hadn't the decency to write to you? Had that something to do
with it?'

'I thought--if you _had_ remembered me, you would perhaps have written,
just a little word,' Esther confessed, with some hesitation and
difficulty. Pitt was more touched and sorry than he would have supposed
before that such a matter could make him.

'Look here, Esther,' he said. 'There are two or three things I want you
to take note of. The first is, that you must never judge by
appearances.'

'Why not?' asked Esther, considering him and this statement together.

'Because they are deceptive. They mislead.'

'Do they?'

'Very frequently.'

'What is one to judge by, then?'

'Depends. In this case, by your knowledge of the person concerned.'

Esther looked at him, and a warmer shine came into her eye.

'Yes,' she said, 'I thought it was not like you to forget. But then,
papa said I would not be likely to see much more of you--ever'--(Esther
got the words out with some difficulty, without, however, breaking
down)--'and I thought, I had to get accustomed to doing without
you--and I had better do it.'

'_Why_ should you not see much more of me?' Pitt demanded energetically.

'You would be going away.'

'And coming back again!'

'But going to England, perhaps.'

'Who said that?'

'I don't know. I think Mrs. Dallas told papa.'

'Well, now look here, Queen Esther,' Pitt said, more moderately: 'I
told you, in the first place, you are not to judge by appearances. Do
you see that you have been mistaken in judging me?'

She looked at him, a look that moved him a good deal, there was so much
wistfulness in it; so much desire revealed to find him what she had
found him in times past, along with the dawning hope that she might.

'Yes,' said he, nodding, 'you have been mistaken, and I did not expect
it of you, Queen Esther. I don't think I am changeable; but anyhow, I
haven't changed towards you. I have but just got home this evening; and
I ran away from home and my mother as soon as we had done supper, that
I might come and see you.'

Esther smiled: she was pleased, he saw.

'And in the next place, as to that crotchet of your not seeing much
more of me, I can't imagine how it ever got up; but it isn't true,
anyhow. I expect you'll see an immense deal of me. I may go some time
to England; about that I can't tell; but if I go, I shall come back
again, supposing I am alive. And now, do you see that it would be very
foolish of you to try to get accustomed to doing without me? for I
shall not let you do it.'

'I don't want to do it,' said Esther confidingly; 'for you know I have
nobody else except you and papa.'

'What put such an absurd notion in your head! You a Stoic, Queen
Esther! You look like it!'

'What is a Stoic?'

'The sort of people that bite a nail in two, and smile as if it were a
stick of peppermint candy.'

'I didn't know there were any such people.'

'No, naturally. So it won't do for you to try to imitate them.'

'But I was not trying anything like that.'

'What were you trying to do, then?'

Esther hesitated.

'I thought--I must do without you; and so--I thought I had better not
think about you.'

'Did you succeed?'

'Not very well. But--I suppose I could, in time.'

'See you don't! What do you think in that case _I_ should do?'

'Oh, you!' said Esther; 'that is different. I thought you would not
care.'

'Did you! You did me honour. Now, Queen Esther, let us understand this
matter. I do care, and I am going to care, and I shall always care. Do
you believe it?'

'I always believe what you say,' said the girl, with a happy change in
her face, which touched Pitt again curiously. Somehow, the contrast
between his own strong, varied, rich, and active life, with its
abundance of resources and enjoyments, careless and satisfied,--and
this little girl alone at home with her cranky father, and no variety
or change or outlook or help, struck him painfully. It would hardly
have struck most young men; but Pitt, with all his rollicking
waywardness and self-pleasing, had a fine fibre in him which could feel
things. Then Esther's nature, he knew, was one rich in possibilities;
to which life was likely to bring great joy or great sorrow; more
probably both.

'What book have you got there?' he asked suddenly.

'Book?--Oh, the Bible.'

'The Bible! That's something beyond your comprehension, isn't it?'

'No,' said Esther. 'What made you think it was?'

'Always heard it wasn't the thing for children. What set you at that,
Queen Esther? Reading about your namesake?'

'I have read about her. I wasn't reading about her to-night.'

'What were you after, then?'

'It's mamma's Bible,' said Esther rather slowly; 'and she used to say
it was the best place to go for comfort.'

'Comfort! What do you want comfort for, Esther?'

'Nothing, now,' she said, with a smile. 'I am so glad you are come!'

'What _did_ you want comfort for, then?' said he, taking her hand, and
holding it while he looked into her eyes.

'I don't know--papa had gone to bed, and I was alone--and somehow it
seemed lonesome.'

'Will you go with me to-morrow after Christmas greens?'

'Oh, may I?' cried the girl, with such a flush of delight coming into
eyes and cheeks and lips, that Pitt was almost startled.

'I don't think I could enjoy it unless you came. And then you will help
me dress the rooms.'

'What rooms?'

'Our rooms at home. And now, what have you been doing since I have been
away?'

All shadows were got rid of; and there followed a half-hour of most
eager intercourse, questions and answers coming thick upon one another.
Esther was curious to hear all that Pitt would tell her about his life
and doings at college; and, nothing loath, Pitt gave it her. It
interested him to watch the play of thought and interest in the child's
features as he talked. She comprehended him, and she seemed to take in
without difficulty the strange nature and conditions of his college
world.

'Do you have to study hard?' she asked.

'That's as I please. One must study hard to be distinguished.'

'And you will be distinguished, won't you?'

'What do you think? Do you care about it?'

'Yes, I care,' said Esther slowly.

'You were not anxious about me?'

'No,' she said, smiling. 'Papa said you would be sure to distinguish
yourself.'

'Did he? I am very much obliged to Colonel Gainsborough.'

'What for?'

'Why, for his good opinion.'

'But he couldn't help his opinion,' said Esther.

'Queen Esther,' said Pitt, laughing, 'I don't know about that. People
sometimes hold opinions they have no business to hold, and that they
would not hold, if they were not perverse-minded.'

Esther's face had all changed since he came in. The premature gravity
and sadness was entirely dispersed; the eyes were full of beautiful
light, the mouth taking a great many curves corresponding to as many
alternations and shades of sympathy, and a slight colour of interest
and pleasure had risen in the cheeks. If Pitt had vanity to gratify, it
was gratified; but he had something better, he had a genuine kindness
and liking for the little girl, which had suffered absolute pain, when
he saw how his absence and silence had worked. Now the two were in full
enjoyment of the old relations and the old intercourse, when the door
opened, and Mrs. Barker's head appeared.

'Miss Esther, it's your time.'

'Time for what?' asked Pitt.

'It's my time for going to bed,' said Esther, rising. 'I'll come, Mrs.
Barker.'

'Queen Esther, does that woman say what you are to do and not do?' said
Pitt, in some indignation.

'Oh no; but papa. He likes me not to be up later than nine o'clock.'

'What has Barker to do with it? I think she wants putting in her place.'

'She always goes with me and attends to me. Yes, I must go,' said
Esther.

'But the colonel is not here to be disturbed.'

'He would be disturbed, if I didn't go at the right time. Good-night,
Pitt.'

'Well, till to-morrow,' said the young man, taking Esther's hand and
kissing it. 'But this is what I call a very summary proceeding. Queen
Esther, does your majesty always do what you are expected to do, and
take orders from everybody!'

'No; only from papa and you. Good-night, Pitt. Yes, I'll be ready
to-morrow.'




CHAPTER VIII.

_A NOSEGAY_.


Pitt walked home, half amused at himself that he should take so much
pains about this little girl, at the same time very firmly resolved
that nothing should hinder him. Perhaps his liking for her was deeper
than he knew; it was certainly real; while his kindly and generous
temper responded promptly to every appeal that her affection and
confidence made upon him. Affection and confidence are very winning
things, even if not given by a beautiful girl who will soon be a
beautiful woman; but looking out from Esther's innocent eyes, they went
down into the bottom of young Dallas's heart. And besides, his nature
was not only kind and noble; it was obstinate. Opposition, to him, in a
thing he thought good to pursue, was like blows of a hammer on a nail;
drove the purpose farther in.

So he made himself, it is true, very pleasant indeed to his parents at
home, that night and the next morning; but then he went with Esther
after cedar and hemlock branches. It may be asked, what opposition had
he hitherto found to his intercourse with the colonel's daughter? And
it must be answered, none. Nevertheless, Pitt felt it in the air, and
it had the effect on him that the north wind and cold are said to have
upon timber.

It was a day of days for Esther. First the delightful roving walk, and
cutting the greens, which were bestowed in a cart that attended them;
then the wonderful novelty of dressing the house. Esther had never seen
anything of the kind before, which did not hinder her, however, from
giving very good help. The hall, the sitting-room, the drawing-room,
and even Pitt's particular, out-of-the-way work-room, all were wreathed
and adorned and dressed up, each after its manner. For Pitt would not
have one place a repetition of another. The bright berries of the
winterberry and bittersweet were mingled with the dark shade of the
evergreens in many ingenious ways; but the crowning triumph of art,
perhaps, to Esther's eyes, was a motto in green letters, picked out
with brilliant partridge berries, over the end of the
sitting-room,--'Peace on earth.' Esther stood in delighted admiration
before it, also pondering.

'Pitt,' she said at last, 'those partridge berries ought not to be in
it.'

'Why not?' said Pitt, in astonishment. 'I think they set it off
capitally.'

'Oh, so they do. I didn't mean that. They are beautiful, very. But you
know what you said about them.'

'What did I say?'

'You said they were poison.'

'Poison! What then, Queen Esther? they won't hurt anybody up there. No
partridge will get at them.'

'Oh no, it isn't that, Pitt; but I was thinking--Poison shouldn't be in
that message of the angels.'

Pitt's face lighted up.

'Queen Esther,' said he solemnly, 'are you going to be _that_ sort of
person?'

'What sort of person?'

'One of those whose spirits are attuned to finer issues than their
neighbours? They are the stuff that poets are made of. You are not a
poet, are you?'

'No, indeed!' said Esther, laughing.

'Don't! I think it must be uncomfortable to have to do with a poet. You
may notice, that in nature the dwellers on the earth have nothing to do
with the dwellers in the air.'

'Except to be food for them,' said Esther.

'Ah! Well,--leaving that,--I should never have thought about the
partridge berries in that motto, and my mother would never have thought
of it. For all that, you are right. What shall we do? take 'em down?'

'Oh, no, they look so pretty. And besides, I suppose, Pitt, by and by,
poison itself will turn to peace.'

'What?' said Pitt. 'What is that? What can you mean, Queen Esther?'

'Only,' said Esther a little doubtfully, 'I was thinking. You know,
when the time comes there will be nothing to hurt or destroy in all the
earth; the wild beasts will not be wild, and so I suppose poison will
not be poison.'

'The wild beasts will not be wild? What _will_ they be, then?'

'Tame.'

'Where did you get that idea?'

'It is in the Bible. It is not an idea.'

'Are you sure?'

'Certainly. Mamma used to read it to me and tell me about it.'

'Well, you shall show _me_ the place some time. How do you like it,
mother?'

This question being addressed to Mrs. Dallas, who appeared in the
doorway. She gave great approval.

'Do you like the effect of the partridge berries?' Pitt asked.

'It is excellent, I think. They brighten it up finely.'

'What would you say if you knew they were poison?'

'That would not make any difference. They do no hurt unless you swallow
them, I suppose.'

'Esther finds in them an emblem of the time when the message of peace
shall have neutralized all the hurtful things in the world, and made
them harmless.'

Mrs. Dallas's eye fell coldly upon Esther. 'I do not think the Church
knows of any such time,' she answered, as she turned away. Pitt
whistled for some time thereafter in silence.

The decorations were finished, and most lovely to Esther's eyes; then,
when they were all done, she went home to tea. For getting the greens
and putting them up had taken both the morning and the afternoon to
accomplish. She went home gaily, with a brisk step and a merry heart,
at the same time thinking busily.

Home, in its dull uniformity and stillness, was a contrast after the
stir and freshness and prettiness of life in the Dallases's house. It
struck Esther rather painfully. The room where she and her father took
their supper was pleasant and homely indeed; a bright fire burned on
the hearth, or in the grate, rather, and a bright lamp shone on the
table; Barker had brought in the tea urn, and the business of preparing
tea for her father was one that Esther always liked. But, nevertheless,
the place approached too nearly a picture of still life. The urn hissed
and bubbled, a comfortable sound; and now and then there was a falling
coal or a jet of gas flame in the fire; but I think these things
perhaps made the stillness more intense and more noticeable. The
colonel sat on his sofa, breaking dry toast into his tea and
thoughtfully swallowing it; he said nothing, unless to demand another
cup; and Esther, though she had a healthy young appetite, could not
quite stay the mental longing with the material supply. Besides, she
was pondering something curiously.

'Papa,' she said at last, 'are you busy? May I ask you something?'

'Yes, my dear. What is it?'

'Papa, what is Christmas?'

The colonel looked up.

'What is Christmas?' he repeated. 'It is nothing, Esther; nothing at
all. A name--nothing more.'

'Then, why do people think so much of Christmas?'

'They do not. Sensible people do not think anything of it. Christmas is
nothing to me.'

'But, papa, why then does anybody make much of it? Mrs. Dallas has her
house all dressed up with greens.'

'You had better keep away from Mrs. Dallas's.'

'But it looks so pretty, papa! Is there any harm in it?'

'Harm in what?'

'Dressing the house so? It is all hemlock wreaths, and cedar branches,
and bright red berries here and there; and Pitt has put them up so
beautifully! You can't think how pretty it all is. Is there any harm in
that, papa?'

'Decidedly; in my judgment.'

'Why do they do it then, papa?'

'My dear, they have a foolish fancy that it is the time when Christ was
born; and so in Romish times a special Popish mass was said on that
day; and from that the twenty-fifth of December got its present
name--Christ-mass; that is what it is.'

'Then He was not born the twenty-fifth of December?'

'No, nor in December at all. Nothing is plainer than that spring was
the time of our Lord's coming into the world. The shepherds were
watching their flocks by night; that could not have been in the depth
of winter; it must have been in the spring.'

'Then why don't they have Christmas in springtime?'

'Don't ask _me_, my dear; I don't know. The thing began in the ages of
ignorance, I suppose; and as all it means now is a time of feasting and
jollity, the dead of winter will do as well as another time. But it is
a Popish observance, my child; it is a Popish observance.'

'There's no harm in it, papa, is there? if it means only feasting and
jollity, as you say.'

'There is always harm in superstition. This is no more the time of
Christ's birth than any other day that you could choose; but there is a
superstition about it; and I object to giving a superstitious reverence
to what is nothing at all. Reverence the Bible as much as you please;
you cannot too much; but do not put any ordinance of man, whether it be
of the Popish church or any other, on a level with what the Bible
commands.'

The colonel had finished his toast, and was turning to his book again.

'Pitt has been telling me of the way they keep Christmas in England,'
Esther went on. 'The Yule log, and the games, and the songs, and the
plays.'

'Godless ways,' said the colonel, settling himself to his
reading,--'godless ways! It is a great deal better in this country,
where they make nothing of Christmas. No good comes of those things.'

Esther would disturb her father no more by her words, but she went on
pondering, unsatisfied. In any question which put Mrs. Dallas and her
father on opposite sides, she had no doubt whatever that her father
must be in the right; but it was a pity, for surely in the present case
Mrs. Dallas's house had the advantage. The Christmas decorations had
been so pretty! the look of them was so bright and festive! the walls
she had round her at home were bare and stiff and cold. No doubt her
father must be right, but it was a pity!

The next day was Christmas day. Pitt being in attendance on his father
and mother, busied with the religious and other observances of the
festival, Esther did not see him till the afternoon. Late in the day,
however, he came, and brought in his hands a large bouquet of hothouse
flowers. If the two had been alone, Esther would have greeted him and
them with very lively demonstrations; as it was, it amused the young
man to see the sparkle in her eye, and the lips half opened for a cry
of joy, and the sudden flush on her cheek, and at the same time the
quiet, unexcited demeanour she maintained. Esther rose indeed, but then
stood silent and motionless and said not a word; while Pitt paid his
compliments to her father. A new fire flashed from her eye when at last
he approached her and offered her the flowers.

'Oh, Pitt! Oh, Pitt!' was all Esther with bated breath could say. The
colonel eyed the bouquet a moment and then turned to his book. He was
on his sofa, and seemingly gave no further heed to the young people.

'Oh, Pitt, where _could_ you get these?' The girl's breath was almost
taken away.

'Only one place where I could get them. Don't you know old Macpherson's
greenhouse?'

'But he don't let people in, I thought, in winter?'

'He let _me_ in.'

'Oh, Pitt, how wonderful! What is this? Now you must tell me all the
names. This beautiful white geranium with purple lines?'

'It's a _Pelargonium;_ belongs to the Geraniaceae; this one they call
Mecranthon. It's a beauty, isn't it? This little white blossom is
myrtle; don't you know myrtle?'

'And this geranium--this purple one?'

'That is Napoleon, and this Louise, and this Belle. This red
magnificence is a _Metrosideros;_ this white flower, is--I forget its
name; but _this_, this sweet one, is Daphne. Then here are two heaths;
then this thick leaf is _Laurustinus_, and this other, with the red
bud, _Camellia japonica_.'

'Oh, how perfectly beautiful!' exclaimed the delighted child. 'Oh, how
perfectly beautiful! And this yellow flower?'

'_Coronilla_.'

'And this, is it a _red_ wallflower?'

'A red wallflower; you are right.'

'How lovely! and how sweet! And these blue?'

'These little blue flowers are _Lobelia;_ they are cousins of the
cardinal flower; _that_ is _Lobelia cardinalis;_ these are _Lobelia
erinus_ and _Lobelia gracilis_.'

He watched the girl, for under the surprise and pleasure of his gift
her face was itself but a nobler flower, all glowing and flashing and
fragrant. With eyes dewy with delight she hung over the bouquet, almost
trembling in her eagerness of joy. She set the flowers carefully in a
vase, with tender circumspection, lest a leaf might be wronged by
chance crowding or inadvertent handling. Pitt watched and read it all.
He felt a great compassion for Esther. This creature, full of life and
sensibility, receptive to every influence, at twelve years old shut up
to the company of a taciturn and melancholy father and an empty house!
What would ever become of her? There was the colonel now, on the sofa,
attending only to his book; caring nothing for what was so moving his
child. Nobody cared, or was anywhere to sympathize with her. And if she
grew up so, shut up to herself, every feeling and desire repressed for
want of expression or of somebody to express it to, how would her
nature ever develop? would it not grow stunted and poor, compared with
what it might be? He was sorry for his little playmate and friend; and
it did the young fellow credit, I think, for at his age boys are not
wont to be tenderly sympathetic towards anything, unless it be a
beloved mother or sister. Pitt silently watched the putting the flowers
in water, speculating upon the very unhopeful condition of this little
human plant, and revolving schemes in his mind.

After he had gone, Colonel Gainsborough bade Esther show him her
flowers. She brought the dish to his sofa. The colonel reviewed them
with a somewhat jealous eye, did not seem to perceive their beauty, and
told her to take them away again. But the next day, when Esther was not
in the room, he examined the collection carefully, looking to see if
there were anything that looked like contraband 'Christmas greens.'
There were some sprigs of laurel and holly, that served to make the
hues of the bouquet more varied and rich. _That_ the colonel did not
think of; all he saw was that they were bits of the objectionable
'Christmas.' Colonel Gainsborough carefully pulled them out and threw
them in the fire; and nothing, I fear, saved the laurustinus and
japonica from a like fate but their exquisite large blossoms. Esther
was not slow to miss the green leaves abstracted from her vase.

'Papa,' she said, in some bewilderment, 'I think somebody has been at
my flowers; there is some green gone.'

'I took out some sprigs of laurel and holly,' said her father. 'I
cannot have any Christmas decorations here.'

'Oh, papa, Pitt did not mean them for any such thing!'

'Whether he meant it or no, I prefer not to have them there.'

Esther was silenced, but she watched her vase with rather anxious eyes
after that time. However, there was no more meddling; the brilliant
blossoms were allowed to adorn the place and Esther's life as long as
they would, or could. She cherished them to the utmost of her
knowledge, all the rather that Pitt was gone away again; she gave them
fresh water, she trimmed off the unsightly dry leaves and withered
blossoms; but all would not do; they lasted for a time, and then
followed the law of their existence and faded. What Esther did then,
was to fetch a large old book and lay the different sprigs, leaves or
flowers, carefully among its pages and put them to dry. She loved every
leaf of them. They were associated in her mind with all that pleasant
interlude of Christmas: Pitt's coming, his kindness; their going after
greens together, and dressing the house. The bright interlude was past;
Pitt had gone back to college; and the little girl cherished the faded
green things as something belonging to that good time which was gone.
She would dry them carefully and keep them always, she thought.

A day or two later, her father noticed that the vase was empty, and
asked Esther what she had done with her flowers?

'They were withered, papa; they were spoilt; I could not keep them.'

'What did you do with them?'

'Papa, I thought I would try to dry them.'

'Yes, and what did you do with them?'

'Papa, I put them in that old, odd volume of the Encyclopaedia.'

'Bring it here and let me see.'

Much wondering and a little discomfited, Esther obeyed. She brought the
great book to the side of the sofa, and turned over the pages
carefully, showing the dried and drying leaves. She had a great love to
them; what did her father want with them?

'What do you propose to do with those things, when they are dry? They
are staining the book.'

'It's an old book, papa; it is no harm, is it?'

'What are you going to do with them? Are they to remain here
permanently?'

'Oh, no, sir; they are only put here to dry. I put a weight on the
book. They will be dry soon.'

'And what then?'

'Then I will take them out, papa. It's an old book.'

'And what will you do with them?'

'I will keep them, sir.'

'What is the use of keeping the flowers after their beauty is gone? I
do not think that is worth while.'

'_Some_ of their beauty is gone,' said Esther, with a certain
tenderness for the plants manifested in her manner,--'but I love them
yet, papa.'

'That is not wise, my child. Why should you love a parcel of dry
leaves? Love what is worthy to be loved. I think I would throw them all
in the fire.'

'Oh, papa!'

'That's the best, my dear. They are only rubbish. I object to the
hoarding of rubbish. It is a poor habit.'

The colonel turned his attention again to his book, and perhaps did not
even remark how Esther sat with a disconsolate face on the floor,
looking at her condemned treasures. He would not have understood it if
he had seen. In his nature there was no key to the feeling which now
was driving the tears into Esther's eyes and making her heart swell.
Like many men, and many women, for the matter of that, Colonel
Gainsborough had very little power of association. He would indeed have
regarded with sacred reverence anything that had once belonged to his
wife, down to her shoe; in that one instance the tension of feeling was
strong enough to make the chords tremble under the lightest touch. In
other relations, what did it matter? They were nothing to him; and if
Colonel Gainsborough made his own estimate the standard of the worth of
things, he only did what I am afraid we all do, more or less. At any
rate, his was not one of those finer strung natures which recognise the
possibility of worlds of knowledge and feeling not open to themselves.
It is also just possible that he divined his daughter's sentiment in
regard to the flowers enough to be jealous of it.

But Esther did not immediately move to obey his order. She sat on the
floor with the big book before her, the open page showing a half dry
blossom of the Mecranthon geranium which was still to her eyes very
beautiful. And all the associations of that pleasant Christmas
afternoon when Pitt had brought it and told her what its name was, rose
up before her. She was exceedingly unwilling to burn it. The colonel
perhaps had a guess that he had given a hard command; for he did not
look again at Esther or speak to her, or take any notice of her delay
of obedience. That she would obey he knew; and he let her take her
time. So he did not see the big tears that filled her eyes, nor the
quiet way in which she got rid of them; while the hurt, sorrowful,
regretful look on her face would have certainly moved Pitt to
indignation if he had been where he could see it. I am afraid, if the
colonel had seen it, _he_ would have been moved quite in a different
way. Not to anger, indeed; Colonel Gainsborough was never angry with
his child, as truly she never gave him cause; but I think he would
privately have applauded the wisdom of his regulation, which removed
such objects of misplaced sentiment out of the way of doing further
harm. And Esther sat and looked at the Mecranthon, brushed away her
tears softly, swallowed her regrets and unwillingness, and finally rose
up, carried her book to the fire, and one by one, turning the leaves,
took out her drying favourites and threw them into the glowing grate.
It was done; and she carried the book away and put it in its old place.

But a week later it happened that Esther bethought her to open the
Encyclopaedia again, to look at _the marks her flowers had left_ on the
pages. For they _had_ stained the book a little, and here and there she
could discern the outline of a sprig, and trace a faint dash of colour
left behind by the petals of some flower rich in its dyes. If it
appears from this that the colonel was right in checking the feeling
which ran to such extremes, I cannot help that; I am reporting the
facts. Esther turned over the book from one place to another where her
flowers had lain. Here had been heath; there coronilla; here--oh, here
was _still_ the wallflower! Dried beautifully; delicate and unbroken,
and perfect and sweet. There was nothing else left, but here was the
wallflower. A great movement of joy filled Esther's heart; then came a
doubt. Must this be burned too? Would this one little sprig matter? She
had obeyed her father, and destroyed all the rest of the bouquet; and
this wallflower had been preserved without her knowledge. Since it had
been saved, might it not be saved? Esther looked, studied, hesitated;
and finally could not make up her mind without further order to destroy
this last blossom. She never thought of asking her father's mind about
it. The child knew instinctively that he would not understand her; a
sorrowful thing for a child to know; it did not occur to her that if he
_had_ understood her feeling, he would have been still less likely to
favour it. She kept the wallflower, took it away from its exposed
situation in the Encyclopaedia, and put it in great safety among her
own private possessions.




CHAPTER IX.

_WANT OF COMFORT_.


The months were many and long before there came another break in the
monotony of Esther's life. The little girl was thrown upon her own
ressources, and that is too hard a position for her years, or perhaps
for any years. She had literally no companion but her father, and it is
a stretch of courtesy to give the name to him. Another child would have
fled to the kitchen for society, at least to hear human voices. Esther
did not. The instincts of a natural high breeding restrained her, as
well as the habits in which she had been brought up. Mrs. Barker waited
upon her at night and in the morning, at her dressing and undressing:
sometimes Esther went for a walk, attended by Christopher; the rest of
the time she was either alone, or in the large, orderly room where
Colonel Gainsborough lay upon the sofa, and there Esther was rather
more alone than anywhere else. The colonel was reading; reverence
obliged her to keep quiet; he drew long breaths of weariness or sadness
every now and then, which every time came like a cloud over such
sunshine as she had been able to conjure up; and besides all that,
notwithstanding the sighs and the reading, her father always noticed
and knew what she was doing. Now it is needless to say that Colonel
Gainsborough had forgotten what it was to be a child; he was therefore
an incompetent critic of a child's doings or judge of a child's wants.
He had an impatience for what he called a 'waste of time;' but Esther
was hardly old enough to busy herself exclusively with history and
geography; and the little innocent amusements to which she had recourse
stood but a poor chance under his censorship. 'A waste of time, my
daughter,' he would say, when he saw Esther busy perhaps with some
childish fancy work, or reading something from which she promised
herself entertainment, but which the colonel knew promised nothing
more. A word from him was enough. Esther would lay down her work or put
away the book, and then sit in forlorn uncertainty what she should do
to make the long hours drag less heavily. History and geography and
arithmetic she studied, in a sort, with her father; and Colonel
Gainsborough was not a bad teacher, so far as the progress of his
scholar was concerned. So far as her pleasure went, the lessons were
very far behind those she used to have with Pitt. And the recitations
were short. Colonel Gainsborough gave his orders, as if he were on a
campaign, and expected to see them fulfilled. Seeing them fulfilled, he
turned his attention at once to something else.

Esther longed for her former friend and instructor with a longing which
cannot be put into words. Yet longing is hardly the expression for it;
she was not a child to sit and wish for the unattainable; it was rather
a deep and aching sense of want. She never forgot him. If Pitt's own
mother thought of him more constantly, she was the only person in the
world of whom that was true. Pitt sometimes wrote to Colonel
Gainsborough, and then Esther treasured up every revelation and detail
of the letter and added them to what she knew already, so as to piece
out as full an image as possible of Pitt's life and doings. But how the
child wanted him, missed him, and wept for him! Though of the latter
not much; she was not a child given to crying. The harder for her,
perhaps.

The Dallases, husband and wife, were not much seen at this time in the
colonel's quiet house. Mr. Dallas did come sometimes of an evening and
sat and talked with its master; and he was not refreshing to Esther,
not even when the talk ran upon his absent son; for the question had
begun to be mooted publicly, whether Pitt should go to England to
finish his education. It began to be spoken of in Pitt's letters too;
he supposed it would come to that, he said; his mother and father had
set their hearts on Oxford or Cambridge. Colonel Gainsborough heartily
approved. It was like a knell of fate to Esther.

They were alone together one day, as usual, the father and daughter;
and silence had reigned a long while in the room, when Esther broke it.
She had been sitting poring over a book; now she looked up with a very
burdened brow and put her question.

'Papa, how do people get comfort out of the Bible?'

'Eh--what, my dear?' said the colonel, rousing his attention.

'What must one do, to get comfort out of the Bible?'

'Comfort?' repeated the colonel, now looking round at her. 'Are you in
want of comfort, Esther?'

'I would like to know how to find it, papa, if it is here.'

'Here? What have you got there? Come where I can see you.'

Esther drew near, unwillingly. 'It is the Bible, papa.'

'And _what_ is it you want from the Bible?--Comfort?'

'Mamma used to say one could get comfort in the Bible, and I wanted to
know how.'

'Did she?' said the colonel with grave thoughtfulness. But he said no
more. Esther waited. Her father's tone had changed; he seemed to have
gone back into regions of the past, and to have forgotten her. The
minutes ran on, without her daring to remind him that her question was
still unanswered. The colonel at last, with a long sigh, took up his
book again; then seemed to bethink him, and turned to Esther.

'I do not know, my dear,' he said. 'I never could get it there myself,
except in a very modified way. Perhaps it is my fault.'

The subject was disposed of, as far as the colonel was concerned.
Esther could ask him no more. But that evening, when Mrs. Barker was
attending upon her, she made one more trial.

'Barker, do you know the Bible much?'

'The Bible, Miss Esther!'

'Yes. Have you read it a great deal? do you know what is in it?'

'Well, Miss Esther, I ain't a heathen. I do read my Bible, to be sure,
more or less, all my life, so to speak; which is to say, ever since I
could read at all.'

'Did you ever find comfort in it?'

'Comfort, Miss Esther? Did I ever find _comfort_ in it, did ye ask?'
the housekeeper repeated, very much puzzled. 'Well, I can't just say.
Mebbe I never was just particlarly lookin' for that article when I went
to my Bible. I don't remember as I never was in no special want o'
comfort--sich as should set me to lookin' for it; 'thout it was when
missus died.'

'_She_ said, one could find comfort in the Bible,' Esther went on, with
a tender thrill in the voice that uttered the beloved pronoun.

'Most likely it's so, Miss Esther. What my mistress said was sure and
certain true; but myself, it is something which I have no knowledge of.'

'How do you suppose one could find comfort in the Bible, Barker? How
should one look for it?'

''Deed, Miss Esther, your questions is too hard for me. I'd ask the
colonel, if I was you.'

'But I ask you, if you can tell me.'

'And that's just which I ain't wise enough for. But when I don't know
where a thing is, Miss Esther, I allays begins at one end and goes
clean through to the other end; and then, if the thing ain't there, why
I knows it, and if it is there, I gets it.'

'It would take a good while,' said Esther musingly, 'to go through the
whole Bible from one end to the other.'

'That's which I am thinkin', Miss Esther. I'm thinkin' one might forget
what one started to look for, before one found it. But there! the Bible
ain't just like a store closet, neither, with all the things ticketed
on shelves. I'm thinkin' a body must do summat besides look in it.'

'What?'

'I don't know, Miss Esther; I ain't wise, no sort o' way, in sich
matters; but I was thinkin' the folks I've seen, as took comfort in
their Bibles, they was allays saints.'

'Saints! What do you mean by that?'

'That's what they was,' said Barker decidedly. 'They was saints. I
never was no saint myself, but I've seen 'em. You see, mum, I've allays
had summat else on my mind, and my hands, I may say; and one can't
attend to more'n one thing at once in this world. I've allays had my
bread to get and my mistress to serve; and I've attended to my business
and done it. That's which I've done.'

'Couldn't you do that and be a saint too?'

'There's no one can't be two different people at one and the same time,
Miss Esther. Which I would say, if there is, it ain't me.'

If this was not conclusive, at least it was unanswerable by Esther, and
the subject was dropped. Whether Esther pursued the search after
comfort, no one knew; indeed, no one knew she wanted it. The colonel
certainly not; he had taken her question to be merely a speculative
one. It did sometimes occur to Barker that her young charge moped; or,
as she expressed it to Mr. Bounder, 'didn't live as a child had a right
to;' but it was not her business, and she had spoken truly: her
business was the thing Mrs. Barker minded exclusively.

So Esther went on living alone, and working her way, as she could,
alone, out of all the problems that suggested themselves to her
childish mind. What sort of a character would grow up in this way, in
such a close mental atmosphere and such absence of all training or
guiding influences, was an interesting question, which, however, never
presented itself before Colonel Gainsborough's mind. That his child was
all right, he was sure; indeed how could she go wrong? She was her
mother's daughter, in the first place; and in the next place, his own;
_noblesse oblige_, in more ways than one; and then--she saw nobody!
That was a great safeguard. But the one person whom Esther did see, out
of her family, or I should say the two persons, sometimes speculated
about her; for to them the subject had a disagreeable practical
interest. Mr. Dallas came now and then to sit and have a chat with the
colonel; and more rarely Mrs. Dallas called for a civil visit of
enquiry; impelled thereto partly by her son's instances and reminders.
She communicated her views to her husband.

'She is living a dreadful life, for a child. She will be everything
that is unnatural and premature.'

Mr. Dallas made no answer.

'And I wish she was out of Seaforth; for as we cannot get rid of her,
we must send away our own boy.'

'Humph!' said her husband. 'Are you sure? Is that a certain necessity?'

'Hildebrand, you would like to have him finish his studies at Oxford?'
said his wife appealingly.

'Yes, to be sure; but what has that to do with the other thing? You
started from that little girl over there.'

'Do you want Pitt to make her his wife?'

'No!' with quiet decision.

'He'll do it; if you do not take all the better care.'

'I don't see that it follows.'

'You do not see it, Hildebrand, but I do. Trust me.'

'What do you reason from?'

'You won't trust me? Well, the girl will be very handsome; she'll be
_very_ handsome, and that always turns a young man's head; and then,
you see, she is a forlorn child, and Pitt has taken it in to his head
to replace father and mother, and be her good genius. I leave you to
judge if that is not a dangerous part for him to play. He writes to me
every now and then about her.'

Not very often; but Mrs. Dallas wanted to scare her husband. And so
there came to be more and more talk about Pitt's going abroad; and
Esther felt as if the one spot of brightness in her sky were closing up
for ever. If Pitt did go,--what would be left?

It was a token of the real strength and fine properties of her mental
nature, that the girl did not, in any true sense, _mope_. In want of
comfort she was; in sad want of social diversion and cheer, and of
variety in her course of thought and occupation; she suffered from the
want; but Esther did not sink into idleness and stagnation. She worked
like a beaver; that is, so far as diligence and purpose characterize
those singular animals' working. She studied resolutely and eagerly the
things she had studied with Pitt, and which he had charged her to go on
with. His influence was a spur to her constantly; for he had wished it,
and he would be coming home by and by for the long vacation, and then
he would want to see what she had done. Esther was not quite alone, so
long as she had the thought of Pitt and of that long vacation with her.
If he should go to England,--then indeed it would be loneliness. Now
she studied, at any rate, having that spur; and she studied things also
with which Pitt had had no connection; her Bible, for instance. The
girl busied herself with fancy work too, every kind which Mrs. Barker
could teach her, and her father did not forbid. And in one other
pleasure her father was helpful to her. Esther had been trying to draw
some little things, working eagerly with her pencil and a copy,
absorbed in her endeavours and in the delight of partial success; when
one day her father came and looked over her shoulder. That was enough.
Colonel Gainsborough was a great draughtsman; the old instinct of his
art stirred in him; he took Esther's pencil from her hand and showed
her how she ought to use it, and then went on to make several little
studies for her to work at. From that beginning, the lessons went
forward, to the mutual benefit of father and daughter. Esther developed
a great aptitude for the art, and an enormous zeal. Whatever her father
told her it would be good for her to do, in that connection, Esther did
untiringly--ungrudgingly. It was the one exquisite pleasure which each
day contained for her; and into it she gathered and poured her whole
natural, honest, childlike desire for pleasure. No matter if all the
rest of the day were work, the flower of delight that blossomed on this
one stem was sweet enough to take the place of a whole nosegay, and it
beautified Esther's whole life. It hardly made the child less sober
outwardly, but it did much to keep her inner life fresh and sound.

Pitt this time did not allow it to be supposed that he had forgotten
his friends. Once in a while he wrote to Colonel Gainsborough, and sent
a message or maybe included a little note for Esther herself. These
messages and notes regarded often her studies; but toward the end of
term there began to be mention made of England also in them; and
Esther's heart sank very low. What would be left when Pitt was gone to
England?




CHAPTER X.

_THE BLESSING_.


So spring came, and then high summer, and the time when the collegian
was expected home. The roses were blossoming and the pinks were sweet,
in the old-fashioned flower garden in front of the house; and the smell
of the hay came from the fields where mowers were busy, and the trill
of a bob-o'-link sounded in the meadow. It was evening when Pitt made
his way from his father's house over to the colonel's; and he found
Esther sitting in the verandah, with all this sweetness about her. The
house was old and country fashioned; the verandah was raised but a step
above the ground,--low, and with slim little pillars to support its
roof; and those pillars were all there was between Esther and the
flowers. At one side of the house there was a lawn; in front, the space
devoted to the flowers was only a small strip of ground, bordered by
the paling fence and the road. Pitt opened a small gate, and came up to
the house, through an army of balsams, hollyhocks, roses, and
honeysuckles, and balm and southernwood. Esther had risen to her feet,
and with her book in her hand, stood awaiting him. Her appearance
struck him as in some sense new. She looked pale, he thought, and the
mental tension of the moment probably made it true, but it was not
merely that. There was a refined, ethereal gravity and beauty, which it
is very unusual to see in a girl of thirteen; an expression too
spiritual for years which ought to be full of joyous and careless
animal life. Nevertheless it was there, and it struck Pitt not only
with a sense of admiration, but almost with compassion; for what sort
of apart and introverted life could it be which had called forth such a
look upon so young a face? No child living among children could ever be
like that; nor any child living among grown people who took proper care
of her; unless indeed it were an exceptional case of disease, which
sets apart from the whole world; but Esther was perfectly well.

'I've been watching for you,' she said as she gave him her hand, and a
very lovely smile of welcome. 'I have been looking for you ever so
long.'

I don't know what made Pitt do it, and I do not think he knew; he had
never done it before; but as he took the hand, and met the smile, he
bent down and pressed his lips to those innocent, smiling ones. I
suppose it was a very genuine expression of feeling; the fact that he
might not know _what_ feeling is nothing to the matter.

Esther coloured high, and looked at him in astonishment. It was a flush
that meant pleasure quite as much as surprise.

'I came as soon as I could,' he said.

'Oh, I knew you would! Sit down here, Pitt. Papa is sleeping; he had a
headache. I am so glad you have come!'

'How is the colonel?'

'He says he's not well. I don't know.'

'And, Queen Esther, how are you?'

'Oh, I'm well.'

'Are you sure?'

'Why, certainly, Pitt. What should be the matter with me? There is
never anything the matter with me.'

'I should say, a little too much thinking,' said Pitt, regarding her.

'Oh, but I have to think,' said Esther soberly.

'Not at all necessary, nor in my opinion advisable. There are other
people in the world whose business it is to do the thinking. Leave it
to them. You cannot do it, besides.'

'Who will do my thinking for me?' asked Esther, with a look and a smile
which would have better fitted twice her years; a look of wistful
inquiry, a smile of soft derision.

'I will,' said Pitt boldly.

'Will you? Oh, Pitt, I would like to ask you something! But not now,'
she added immediately. 'Another time. Now, tell me about college.'

He did tell her. He gave her details of things he told no one else. He
allowed her to know of his successes, which Pitt was too genuinely
modest and manly to enlarge upon even to his father and mother; but to
these childish eyes and this implicit trusting, loving, innocent
spirit, he gave the infinite pleasure of knowing what he had secretly
enjoyed alone, in the depths of his own mind. It pleased him to share
it with Esther. As for her, her interest and sympathy knew no bounds.

Pitt, however, while he was talking about his own doings and affairs,
was thinking about Esther. She had changed, somehow. That wonderful
stage of life, 'where the brook and river meet,' she had hardly yet
reached; she was really a little girl still, or certainly ought to be.
What was then this delicate, grave, spiritual look in the face, the
thoughtful intelligence, the refinement of perception, so beyond her
years? No doubt it was due to her living alone, with a somewhat gloomy
father, and being prematurely thrown upon a woman's needs and a woman's
resources. Pitt recognised the fact that his own absence might have had
something to do with it. So long as he had been with her, teaching her
and making a daily breeze in her still life, Esther had been in a
measure drawn out of herself, and kept from brooding. And then, beyond
all, the natural organization of this fine creature was of the rarest;
strong and delicate at once, of large capacities and with
correspondingly large requirements; able for great enjoyment, and open
also to keen suffering. He could see it in every glance of the big,
thoughtful eyes, and every play of the sensitive lips, which had,
however, a trait of steadfastness and grave character along with their
sensitiveness. Pitt looked, and wondered, and admired. This child's
face was taking on already a fascinating power of expression, quite
beyond her years; and that was because the inner life was developing
too soon into thoughtfulness and tenderness, and too early realizing
the meaning of life. Nothing could be more innocent of
self-consciousness than Esther; she did not even know that Pitt was
regarding her with more attention than ordinary, or, if she knew, she
took it as quite natural. He saw that, and so indulged himself. What a
creature this would be, by and by! But in the meantime, what was to
become of her? Without a mother, or a sister, or a brother; all alone;
with nobody near who even knew what she needed. What would become of
her? It was not stagnation that was to be feared, but too vivid life;
not that she would be mentally stunted, but that the growth would be to
exhaustion, or lack the right hardening processes, and so be unhealthy.

The colonel awoke after a while, and welcomed his visitor as truly, if
not as warmly, as Esther had done. He always had liked young Dallas;
and now, after so long living alone, the sight of him was specially
grateful. Pitt must stay and have tea; and the talk between him and the
colonel went on unflaggingly. Esther said nothing now; but Pitt watched
her, and saw how she listened; saw how her eyes accompanied him, and
her lips gave their silent tokens of understanding. Meanwhile she
poured out tea for the gentlemen; did it with quiet grace and neatness,
and was quick to see and attend to any little occasion for hospitable
care.

The old life began again now in good measure. Esther had no need to beg
Pitt to come often; he came constantly. He took up her lessons, as of
old, and carried them on vigorously; rightly thinking that good sound
mental work was wholesome for the child. He joined her in drawing, and
begged the colonel to give him instruction too; and they studied the
coins in the boxes with fresh zeal. And they had glorious walks, and
most delightful botanizing, in the early summer mornings, or when the
sun had got low in the western sky. Sometimes Pitt came with a little
tax-cart and took Esther a drive. It was all delight; I cannot tell
which thing gave her most pleasure. To study with Pitt, or to play with
Pitt, one was as good as the other; and the summer days of that summer
were not fuller of fruit-ripening sun, than of blessed, warm, healthy,
and happy influences for this little human plant. Her face grew bright
and joyous, though in moments when the talk took a certain sober tone
Pitt could see the light or the shadow, he hardly knew which to call
it, of that too early spiritual insight and activity come over it.

One day, soon after his arrival, he asked her what she had been
thinking about so much. They were sitting on the verandah again, to be
out of the way of the colonel; they were taking up lessons, and had
just finished an examination in history. Pitt let the book fall.

'You said the other day, Queen Esther, that you were under the
necessity of thinking. May I ask what you have been thinking about?'

'Did I say that?'

'Something like it.'

Esther's face became sober. 'Everybody must think, I suppose, Pitt?'

'That is a piece of your innocence. A great many people get along quite
comfortably without doing any thinking at all.'

'One might as well be a squash,' said Esther gravely. 'I don't see how
they can live so.'

'Some people think too much.'

'Why?'

'I don't know why, I am sure. It's their nature, I suppose.'

'What harm, Pitt?'

'You keep a fire going anywhere, and it will burn up what is next to
it.'

'Is thought like fire?'

'So far, it is. What were you thinking about, Queen Esther?'

'I had been wanting to ask you about it, Pitt,' the girl said, a little
with the air of one who is rousing herself up to give a confidence. 'I
was looking for something and I did not know where to find it.'

'Looking for what?'

'I remembered, mamma said people could always find comfort in the
Bible; but I did not know how to look for it.'

'Comfort, Queen Esther!' said Pitt, rousing himself now; 'you were not
in want of that article, were you?'

'After you were gone, you know--I hadn't anybody left. And oh, Pitt,
are you going to--England?'

'One thing at a time. Tell me about this extraordinary want of comfort,
at twelve years old. That is improper, Queen Esther!'

'Why?' she said, casting up to him a pair of such wistful, sensitive,
beautiful eyes, that the young man was almost startled.

'People at your age ought to have comfort enough to give away to other
people.'

'I shouldn't think they could, always,' said Esther quaintly.

'What is the matter with you?'

Esther looked down, a little uneasily. She felt that Pitt ought to have
known. And he did know; however, he thought it advisable to have things
brought out into the full light and put into form; hoping they might so
be easier dealt with. Esther's next words were hardly consecutive,
although perfectly intelligible.

'I know, of course, you cannot stay here always.'

'Of course. But then I shall always be coming back.'

Esther sighed. She was thinking that the absences were long and the
times of being at home short; but what was the use of talking about it?
That lesson, that words do not change the inevitable, she had already
learned. Pitt was concerned.

'Where did you say your highness went to look for comfort?'

'In the Bible. Oh, yes, that was what I wanted your help about. I did
not know how to look; and papa said he didn't; or I don't know if he
_said_ exactly that, but it came to the same thing. And then I asked
Barker.'

'Was she any wiser?'

'No. She said her way of finding anything was to begin at one end and
go through to the other; so I tried that. I began at the beginning; and
I read on; but I found nothing until--I'll show you,' she said,
suddenly breaking off and darting away; and in two minutes more she
came back with her Bible. She turned over the leaves eagerly.

'Here, Pitt,--I came to this. Now what does it mean?'

She gave him the volume open at the sixth chapter of Numbers; in the
end of which is the prescribed form for the blessing of the children of
Israel. Pitt read the words to himself.


'The Lord bless thee, and keep thee. 'The Lord make His face shine upon
thee, and be gracious unto thee. 'The Lord lift up His countenance upon
thee, and give thee peace.'


Esther waited till she saw he had read them through.

'Now, Pitt, what does that mean?'

'Which?'

'That last: "The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee
peace." What does "lift up his countenance upon thee" mean?'

What _did_ it mean? Pitt asked himself the question for the first time
in his life. He was quite silent.

'You see,' said Esther quaintly, after a pause,--'you see, _that_ would
be comfort.'

Pitt was still silent.

'Do you understand it, Pitt?'

'_Understand_ it, Esther!' he said, knitting his brows, 'No. Nobody
could do that, except--the people that had it. But I think I see what
it means.'

'The people "that had it"? That had what?'

'This wonderful thing.'

'What wonderful thing?'

'Queen Esther, you ought to ask your father.'

'I can't ask papa,' said the little girl. 'If ever I speak to him of
comfort, he thinks directly of mamma. I cannot ask him again.'

'And I am all your dependence?' he said half lightly.

'I mustn't depend upon you either. Only, now you are here, I thought I
would ask you.'

'You ought to have a better counsellor. However, perhaps I can tell
what you want to know, in part. Queen Esther, was your mother, or your
father, ever seriously displeased with you?'

Esther reflected, a little astonished, and then said no.

'I suppose not!' said Pitt. 'Then you don't know by experience what it
would be, to have either of them refuse to look at you or smile upon
you?--hide their face from you, in short?'

'Why, no! never.'

'You're a happy girl.'

'But what has that to do with it?'

'Nothing to do with it; it is the very contrast and opposite, in fact.
Don't you see? "Lift up the light of thy countenance;"--you know what
the "light" of a smiling, loving face of approval is? You know _that_,
Queen Esther?'

'That?' repeated Esther breathlessly. 'Yes, I know; but this is God.'

'Yes, and I do not understand; but that is what it means.'

'You don't understand!'

'No. How should I? But that is what it means. Something that answers to
what among us a bright face of love is, when it smiles upon us. That is
"light," isn't it?'

'Yes,' said Esther. 'But how can this be, Pitt?'

'I cannot tell. But that is what it means. "The Lord make His face to
shine upon thee." They are very fine words.'

'Then I suppose,' said Esther slowly, 'if anybody had _that_, he
wouldn't want comfort?'

'He wouldn't be without it, you mean? Well, I should think he would
not. "The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee peace."'

'But I don't understand, Pitt.'

'No, Queen Esther. This is something beyond you and me.'

'How can one come to understand?'

Pitt was silent a minute, looking down at the words. 'I do not know,'
he said. 'That is a question. It is a look of favour and love described
here; but of course it would not give peace, unless the person
receiving it knew he had it. How that can be, I do not see.'

Both were silent a little while.

'Well,' said Esther, 'you have given me a great deal of help.'

'How?'

'Oh, you have told me what this means,' said the child, hanging over
the words, which Pitt still held.

'That does not give it to you.'

'No; but it is a great deal, to know what it means,' said Esther, in a
tone which Pitt felt had a good element of hopefulness in it.

'What are you going to do about it?'

Esther lifted her head and looked at him. It was one of those looks
which were older than her years; far-reaching, spiritual, with an
intense mixture of pathos and hope in her eyes.

'I shall go on trying to get it,' she said. 'You know, Pitt, it is
different with you. You go out into the world, and you have everything
you want; but I am here quite alone.'




CHAPTER XI.

_DISSENT_.


The summer months were very rich in pleasure, for all parties; even
Colonel Gainsborough was a little roused by the presence of his young
friend, and came much more than usual out of his reserve. So that the
conversations round the tea-table, when Pitt made one of their number,
were often lively and varied; such as Esther had hardly known in her
life before. The colonel left off his taciturnity; waked up, as it
were; told old campaigning stories, and gave out stores of information
which few people knew he possessed. The talks were delightful, on
subjects natural and scientific, historical and local and picturesque.
Esther luxuriated in the new social life which had blossomed out
suddenly at home, perhaps with even an intensified keen enjoyment from
the fact that it was so transient a blossoming; a fact which the child
knew and never for a moment forgot. The thought was always with her,
making only more tender and keen the taste of every day's delights. And
Pitt made the days full. With a mixture of motives, perhaps, which his
own mind did not analyze, he devoted himself very much to the lonely
little girl. She went with him in his walks and in his drives; he sat
on the verandah with her daily and gave her lessons, and almost daily
he went in to tea with her afterwards, and said that Christopher grew
the biggest raspberries in 'town.' Pitt professed himself very fond of
raspberries. And then would come one of those rich talks between him
and the colonel; and when Pitt went home afterwards he would reflect
with satisfaction that he had given Esther another happy day. It was
true; and he never guessed what heart-aches the little girl went
through, night after night, in anticipation of the days that were
coming. She did not shed tears about it, usually; tears might have been
more wholesome. Instead, Esther would stand at her window looking out
into the moonlit garden, or sit on the edge of her bed staring down at
the floor; with a dry ache at her heart, such as we are wont to say a
young thing like her should not know. And indeed only one here and
there has a nature deep and fine-strung enough to be susceptible of it.

The intensification of this pain was the approaching certainty that
Pitt was going to England. Esther did not talk of it, rarely asked a
question; nevertheless she heard enough now and then to make her sure
what was corning. And, in fact, if anything had been wanting to sharpen
up Mrs. Dallas's conviction that such a step was necessary, it would
have been the experience of this summer. She wrought upon her husband,
till himself began to prick up his ears and open his eyes; and between
them they agreed that Pitt had better go. Some evils are easier nipped
in the bud; and this surely was one, for Pitt was known to be a
persistent fellow, if once he took a thing in his head. And though Mr.
Dallas laughed, at the same time he trembled. It was resolved that Pitt
should make his next term at Oxford. The thought was not for a moment
to be entertained, that all Mr. Dallas's money, and all the pretensions
properly growing out of it, should be wasted on the quite penniless
daughter of a retired army officer. For in this world the singular rule
obtaining is, that the more you have the more you want.

One day Pitt came, as he still often did, to read with the colonel;
more for the pleasure of the thing, and for the colonel's own sake,
than for any need still existing. He found the colonel alone. It was
afternoon of a warm day in August, and Esther had gone with Mrs. Barker
to get blackberries, and was not yet returned. The air came in faintly
through the open windows, a little hindered by the blinds which were
drawn to moderate the light.

'How do you do, sir, to-day?' the young man asked, coming in with
something of the moral effect of a breeze. 'This isn't the sort of
weather one would like for going on a forlorn-hope expedition.'

'In such an expedition it doesn't matter much what weather you have,'
said the colonel; 'and I do not think it matters much to me. I am much
the same in all weathers; only that I think I am failing gradually.
Gradually, but constantly.'

'You do not show it, colonel.'

'No, perhaps not; but I feel it.'

'You do not care about hearing me read to-day, perhaps?'

'Yes, I do; it distracts me; but first there is a word I want to say to
you, Pitt.'

He did not go on at once to say it, and the young man waited
respectfully. The colonel sighed, passed his hand over his brow once or
twice, sighed again.

'You are going to England, William?'

'They say so, sir. My father and mother seem to have set their minds on
it.'

'Quite right, too. There's no place in the world like Oxford or
Cambridge for a young man. Oxford or Cambridge,--which, William?'

'Oxford, sir, I believe.'

'Yes; that would suit your father's views best. How do you expect to
get there? Will you go this year?'

'Oh yes, sir; that seems to be the plan. My father is possessed with
the fear that I may grow to be not enough of an Englishman--or too much
of an American; I don't know which.'

'I think you will be a true Englishman. Yet, if you live here
permanently, you will have to be the other thing too. A man owes it to
the country of his adoption; and I think your father has no thought of
returning to England himself?'

'None at all, sir.'

'How will you go? You cannot take passage to England.'

'That can be managed easily enough. Probably I should take passage in a
ship bound for Lisbon; from there I could make my way somehow to
London.'

For, it may be mentioned, the time was the time of the last American
struggle with England, early in the century; and the high seas were not
safe and quiet as now.

The colonel sighed again once or twice, and repeated that gesture with
his hand over his brow.

'I suppose there is no telling how long you will be gone, if you once
go?'

'I cannot come home every vacation,' said Pitt lightly. 'But since my
father and mother have made up their minds to that, I must make up
mine.'

'So you will be gone years,' said the colonel thoughtfully. 'Years. I
shall not be here when you return, William.'

'You are not going to change your habitation, sir?' said the young man,
though he knew what the other meant well enough.

'Not for any other upon earth,' said the colonel soberly. 'But I shall
not be here, William. I am failing constantly. Slowly, if you please,
but constantly. I am not as strong as I look, and I am far less well
than your father believes. I should know best; and I know I am failing.
If you remain in England three years, or even two years, when you come
back I shall not be here.'

'I hope you are mistaken, colonel.'

'I am not mistaken.'

There was silence a few minutes. Pitt did not place unqualified trust
in this judgment, even although, as he could not deny, the colonel
might be supposed to know best. He doubted the truth of the
prognostication; yet, on the other hand, he could not be sure that it
was false. What if it were not false?

'I hope you are mistaken, colonel,' he said again; 'but if you are
right--if it should be so as you fear'--

'I do not fear it,' put in the colonel, interrupting him.

'Not for yourself; but if it should be so,--what will become of Esther?'

'It was of her I wished to speak. She will be here.'

'Here in this house? She would be alone.'

'I should be away. But Mrs. Barker would look after her.'

'Barker!' Pitt echoed. 'Yes, Mrs. Barker could take care of the house
and of the cooking, as she does now; but Esther would be entirely
alone, colonel.'

'I have no one else to leave her with,' said the colonel gloomily.

'Let my mother take charge of her, in such a case. My mother would take
care of her, as if Esther were her own. Let her come to my mother,
colonel!'

'No,' said the colonel quietly, 'that would not be best. I am sure of
Mrs. Dallas's kindness; but I shall leave Esther under the care of
Barker and her brother. Christopher will manage the place, and keep
everything right outside; and Barker will do her part faithfully.
Esther will be safe enough so, for a while. She is a child yet. But
then, William, I'll take a promise from you, if you will give it.'

'I will give any promise you like, sir. What is it?' said Pitt, who had
never been in a less pleasant mood towards his friend. In fact he was
entirely out of patience with him. 'What promise do you want, colonel?'
he repeated.

'When you come back from England, Will, if I am no longer here, I want
you to ask Esther for a sealed package of papers, which I shall leave
with her. Then open the package; and the promise I want from you is
that you will do according to the wishes you will find there expressed.'

Pitt looked at the colonel in much astonishment. 'May I not know what
those wishes regard, sir?'

'They will regard all I leave behind me.'

There was in the tone of the colonel's voice, and the manner of
utterance of his words, something which showed Pitt that further
explanations were not to be had from him. He hesitated, not liking to
bind himself to anything in the dark; but finally he gave the promise
as required. He went home, however, in a doubtful mood as regarded
himself, and a very impatient one as concerned the colonel. What
ridiculous, precise notion was this that had got possession of him? How
little was he able to comprehend the nature or the needs of his little
daughter; and what disagreeable office might he have laid upon Pitt in
that connection? Pitt revolved these things in a fever of impatience
with the colonel, who had demanded such a pledge from him, and with
himself, who had given it. 'I have been a fool for once in my life!'
thought he.

Mr. and Mrs. Dallas were in the sitting-room, where Pitt went in. They
had been watching for his return, though they took care not to tell him
so.

'How's your friend the colonel to-day?' his father asked, willing to
make sure where his son had been.

'He thinks he is dying,' Pitt answered, in no very good humour.

'He has been thinking that for the last two years.'

'Do you suppose there is anything in it?'

'Nothing but megrims. He's hipped, that's all. If he had some work to
do--that he _must_ do, I mean--it's my belief he would be a well man
to-day; and know it, too.'

'He honestly thinks he's dying. Slowly, of course, but surely.'

'Pity he ever left the army,' said Mrs. Dallas. 'He is one of those men
who don't bear to be idle.'

'That's all humankind!' said her husband. 'Nobody bears to be idle.
Can't do it without running down.'

'Still,' said Pitt thoughtfully, 'you cannot tell. A man ought to be
the best judge of his own feelings; and perhaps Colonel Gainsborough is
ill, as he says.'

'What are you going to do about it?' said his father with a half sneer.

'Nothing; only, _if_ he should turn out to be right,--if he should die
within a year or two, what would become of his little daughter?'

Mr. and Mrs. Dallas exchanged a scarcely perceptible glance.

'Send her home to his family,' answered the former.

'Has he a family in England?'

'So he says. I judge, not a small one.'

'Not parents living, has he?'

'I believe not; but there are Gainsboroughs enough without that.'

'What ever made him come over here?'

'Some property quarrel, I gather, though the colonel never told me in
so many words.'

'Then he might not like to send Esther to them. Property quarrels are
embittering.'

'Do you know any sort of quarrel that isn't? It is impossible to say
beforehand what Colonel Gainsborough might like to do. He's a fidgety
man. If there's a thing I hate, in the human line, it's a fidget. You
can't reason with 'em.'

'Then what would become of that child, mother, if her father were
really to die?'

Pitt spoke now with a little anxiety; but Mrs. Dallas answered coolly.

'He would make the necessary arrangements.'

'But they have no friends here, and no relations. It would be
dreadfully forlorn for her. Mother, if Colonel Gainsborough _should_
die, wouldn't it be kind if you were to take her?'

'Too kind,' said Mr. Dallas. 'There is such a thing as being too kind,
Pitt. Did you never hear of it?'

'I do not comprehend, sir. What objection could there be? The child is
not a common child; she is one that anybody might like to have in the
house. I should think you and my mother might enjoy it very much,
especially with me away.'

'Especially,' said the elder man drily. 'Well, Pitt, perhaps you are
right; but for me there is this serious objection, that she is a
dissenter.'

'A dissenter!' echoed Pitt in unfeigned astonishment. 'What is a
"dissenter," here in the new country?'

'Very much the same thing that he is in the old country, I suspect.'

'And what is that, sir?'

'Humph!--well, don't you know? Narrow, underbred, and pig-headed, and
with that, disgustingly radical. That is what it means to be a
dissenter; always did mean.'

'Underbred! You cannot find, old country or new country, a better-bred
man than Colonel Gainsborough; and Esther is perfect in her manners.'

'I haven't tried _her_,' said the other; 'but isn't he pig-headed? And
isn't he radical, think you? They all are; they always were, from the
days of Cromwell and Ireton.'

'But the child?--Esther knows nothing of politics.'

'It's in the blood,' said Mr. Dallas stroking unmoveably his long
whiskers. 'It's in the blood. I'll have no dissenters in my house. It
is fixed in the blood, and will not wash out.'

'I don't believe she knows what a dissenter means.'

'Your father is quite right,' put in Mrs. Dallas. 'I should not like a
dissenter in my family. I should not know how to get on with her. In
chance social intercourse it does not so much matter--though I feel the
difference even there; but in the family-- It is always best for like
to keep to like.'

'But these are only differences of form, mother.'

'Do you think so?' said Mrs. Dallas, drawing up her handsome person. 'I
believe in form, Pitt, for my part; and when you get to England you
will find that it is only the nobodies who dispense with it. But the
Church is more than form, I should think. You'll find the Archbishop of
Canterbury is something besides a form. And is our Liturgy a form?'

Pitt escaped from the discussion, half angry and half amused, but
seriously concerned about Esther. And meanwhile Esther was having her
own thoughts. She had come home from her blackberrying late, after Pitt
had gone home; and a little further on in the afternoon she had
followed him, to get her daily lesson. As the weather was warm all
windows were standing open; and the talkers within the house, being
somewhat eager and preoccupied in their minds, did not moderate their
voices nor pay any attention to what might be going on outside; and so
it happened that Esther's light step was not heard as it came past the
windows; and it followed very easily that one or two half sentences
came to her ear. She heard her own name, which drew her attention, and
then Mr. Dallas's declaration that he would have no dissenters in his
house. Esther paused, not certainly to listen, but with a sudden check
arising from something in the tone of the words. As she stood still in
doubt whether to go forward or not, a word or two more were spoken and
also heard; and with that Esther turned short about, left all thought
of her lesson, and made her way home; walking rather faster than she
had come.

She laid off her hat, went into the room where her father was, and sat
down in the window with a book.

'Home again, Esther?' said he. 'You have not been long away.'

'No, papa.'

'Did you have your lesson?'

'No, papa.'

'Why not?'

'Pitt was talking to somebody.'

The colonel made no further remark, and the room was very still for
awhile. Until after au hour or more the colonel's book went down; and
then Esther from her window spoke again.

'Papa, if you please, what is a "dissenter"?'

'A _what?_' demanded the colonel, rousing himself.

'A "dissenter," papa.'

'What do you know about dissenters?'

'Nothing, papa. What is it?'

'What makes you ask?'

'I heard the word, papa, and I didn't know what it meant.'

'There is no need you should know what it means. A dissenter is one who
dissents.'

'From what, sir?'

'From something that other people believe in.'

'But, papa, according to that, then, everybody is a dissenter; and that
is not true, is it?'

'What has put the question into your head?'

'I heard somebody speaking of dissenters.'

'Whom?'

'Mrs. Dallas.'

'Ah!' The colonel smiled grimly. 'She might be speaking of you and me.'

Esther knew that to have been the fact, but she did not say so. She
only asked,

'What do we dissent from, papa?'

'We dissent from the notion that form is more than substance, and the
kernel less valuable than the shell.'

This told Esther nothing. She was mystified; at the same time, her
respect for her father did not allow her to press further a question he
seemed to avoid.

'Is Pitt a dissenter, papa?'

'There is no need you should trouble your head with the question of
dissent, my child. In England there is an Established Church; all who
decline to come into it are there called Dissenters.'

'Does it tire you to have me ask questions, papa?'

'No.'

'Who established the Church there?'

'The Government.'

'What for?'

'Wanted to rule men's consciences as well as their bodies.'

'But a government cannot do that, papa?'

'They have tried, Esther. Tried by fire and sword, and cruelty, and
persecution; by fines and imprisonments and disqualifications. Some
submitted, but a goodly number dissented, and our family has always
belonged to that honourable number. See you do it no discredit. The
Gainsboroughs were always Independents; we fought with Cromwell, and
suffered under the Stuarts. We have an unbroken record of striving for
the right. Keep to your traditions, my dear.'

'But why should a Government wish to rule people's consciences, papa?'

'Power, my dear. As long as men's minds are free, there is something
where power does not reach.'

'I should think everybody would _like_ Dissenters, papa?' was Esther's
simple conclusion.

'Mrs. Dallas doesn't,' said the colonel grimly.




CHAPTER XII.

_THE VACATION_.


The days went too fast, as the last half of Pitt's vacation passed
away. Ay, there was no holding them, much as Esther tried to make each
one as long as possible. I think Pitt tried too; for he certainly gave
his little friend and playmate all he could of pleasure, and all he
could of himself. Esther shared everything he did, very nearly, that
was not done within his own home. Nothing could have been more
delightful than those days of August and September, if only the vision
of the end of them had not been so near. That vision did not hinder the
enjoyment; it intensified it; every taste of summer and social delight
was made keen with that spice of coming pain; even towards the very
last, nothing could prevent Esther's enjoyment of every moment she and
Pitt spent together. Only to be together was such pleasure. Every word
he spoke was good in her ears; and to her eyes, every feature of his
appearance, and every movement of his person was comely and admirable.
She gave him, in fact, a kind of grave worship, which perhaps nobody
suspected in its degree, because it was not displayed in the manner of
childish effusiveness. Esther was never effusive; her manner was always
quiet, delicate, and dignified, such as a child's can well be. And so
even Pitt himself did not fully know how his little friend regarded
him, though he had sometimes a queer approach to apprehension. It
struck him now and then, the grave, absorbed look of Esther's beautiful
eyes; occasionally he caught a flash of light in them, such as in
nature only comes from heavily-charged clouds. Always she liked to do
what he liked, and gave quick regard to any expressed wish of his;
always listened to him, and watched his doings, and admired his
successes, with the unconditional devotion of an unquestioning faith.
Pitt was half-aware of all this; yet he was at an age when speculation
is apt to be more busy with matters of the head than of the heart; and
besides, he was tolerably well accustomed to the same sort of thing at
home, and took it probably as very natural and quite in order. And he
knew well, and did not forget, that to the little lonely child his
going away would be, even more than it might be to his mother, the loss
of a great deal of brightness out of her daily life. He did even dread
it a little. And as the time drew near, he saw that his fears were
going to be justified.

Esther did not lament or complain; she never, indeed, spoke of his
going at all; but what was much more serious, she grew pale. And when
the last week came, the smile died out of her eyes and from her lips.
No tears were visible; Pitt would almost rather have seen her cry, like
a child, much as with all other men he hated tears; it would have been
better than this preternatural gravity with which the large eyes opened
at him, and the soft mouth refused to give way. She seemed to enter
into everything they were doing with no less interest than usual; she
was not abstracted; rather, Pitt got the impression that she carried
about with her, and brought into everything, the perfect recollection
that he was going away. It began to oppress him.

'I wish I could feel, mother, that you would look a little after that
motherless child,' he said, in a sort of despairing attempt one evening.

'She is not fatherless,' Mrs. Dallas answered composedly.

'No, but a girl wants a mother.'

'She is accustomed to the want now.'

'Mother, it isn't kind of you!'

'How would you have me show kindness?' Mrs. Dallas asked calmly. Now
that Pitt was going away and safe, she could treat the matter without
excitement. 'What would Colonel Gainsborough like me to do for his
daughter, do you think?'

Pitt was silent, and vexed.

'What do you want me to do for her?'

'I'd like you to be a friend to her. She will need one.'

'If her father dies, you mean?'

'If he lives. She will be very lonely when I am gone away.'

'That is because you have accustomed her so much to your company. I
never thought it was wise. She will get over it in a little while.'

Would she? Pitt studied her next day, and much doubted his mother's
assertion. All the months of his last term in college had not been
enough to weaken in the least Esther's love for him. It was real,
honest, genuine love, and of very pure quality; a diamond, he was ready
to think, of the first water. Only a child's love; but Pitt had too
fine a nature himself to despise a child's love; and full as his head
was of novelties, hopes and plans and purposes, there was space in his
heart for a very tender concern about Esther beside.

It came to the last evening, and he was sitting with her on the
verandah. It was rather cool there now; the roses and honeysuckles and
the summer moonshine were gone; the two friends chose to stay there
because they could be alone, and nobody overhear their words. Words for
a little while had ceased to flow. Esther was sitting very still, and
Pitt knew how she was looking; something of the dry despair had come
back to her face which had been in it when he was first moved to busy
himself about her.

'Esther, I shall come back,' he said suddenly, bending down to look in
her face.

'When?' she said, half under her breath. It was not a question; it was
an answer.

'Well, not immediately; but the years pass away fast, don't you know
that?'

'Are you sure you will come back?'

'Why, certainly! if I am alive I will. Why, if I came for nothing else,
I would come to see after you, Queen Esther.'

Esther was silent. Talking was not easy.

'And meanwhile, I shall be busy, and you will be busy. We have both a
great deal to do.'

'You have.'

'And I am sure you have. Now let us consult. What have you got to do,
before we see one an other again?'

'I suppose,' said Esther, 'take care of papa.'

She said it in a quiet, matter-of-course tone, and Pitt started a
little. It was very likely; but it had not just occurred to him before,
how large a part that care might play in the girl's life for some time
to come.

'Does he need so much care?' he asked.

'It isn't real _care_,' said Esther, in the same tone; 'but he likes to
have me about, to do things for him.'

'Queen Esther, aren't you going to carry on your studies for me, all
the same?'

'For you!' said she, lifting her heavy eyes to him. It hurt him to see
how heavy they were; weighted with a great load of sorrow, too mighty
for tears.

'For me, certainly. I expect everything to go on just as if I were here
to look after it. I expect everything to go on so, that when I come
again I may find just what I want to find. You must not disappoint me.'

Esther did not say. She made no answer at all, and after a minute put a
question which was a diversion.

'Where are you going first, Pitt?'

'To Lisbon.'

'Yes, I know that; but when you get to England?'

'London first. You know that is the great English centre?'

'Do you know any people there?'

'Not I. But I have a great-uncle there, living at Kensington. I believe
that is part of London, though really I don't know much about it. I
shall go to see him, of course.'

'Your great-uncle! That is, Mr. Dallas's own uncle?'

'No, my mother's. His name is Strahan.'

'And then you are going to Oxford? Why do you go there? Are not the
colleges in America just as good?'

'I can tell better after I've seen Oxford. But no, Queen Esther; that
is larger and older and richer than any college in America can be;
indeed it is a cluster of colleges--it is a University.'

'Will you study in them all?'

'No,' said Pitt, laughing, 'not exactly! But it is a fine place, by all
accounts--a noble place. And then, you know, we are English, and my
father and mother wish me to be as English as possible. That is
natural.'

'We are English too,' said Esther, sighing.

'Therefore you ought to be glad I am going.'

But Esther's cheek only grew a shade paler.

'Will you keep up your studies, like a good girl?'

'I will try.'

'And send me a drawing now and then, to let me see how you are getting
on?'

She lifted her eyes to him again, for one of those grave, appealing
looks. 'How could I get it to you?'

'Your father will have my address. I shall write to him, and I shall
write to you.'

She made no answer. The things filling her heart were too many for it,
and too strong; there came no tears, but her breathing was laboured;
and her brow was dark with what seemed a mountain of oppression. Pitt
was half-glad that just now there came a call for Esther from the room
behind them. Both went in. The colonel wanted Esther to search in a
repository of papers for a certain English print of some months back.

'Well, my boy,' said he, 'are you off?'

'Just off, sir,' said Pitt, eyeing the little figure that was busy in
the corner among the papers. It gave him more pain than he had thought
to leave it. 'I wish you would come over, colonel. Why shouldn't you?
It would do you good. I mean, when there is peace again upon the high
seas.'

'I shall never leave this place again till I leave all that is
earthly,' Colonel Gainsborough answered.

'May I take the liberty sometimes of writing to you, sir?'

'I should like it very much, William.'

'And if I find anything that would amuse Esther, sir, may I tell her
about it?'

'I have no objection. She will be very much obliged to you. So you are
going? Heaven be with you, my boy. You have lightened many an hour for
me.'

He rose up and shook Pitt's hand, with a warm grasp and a dignified
manner of leave-taking. But when Pitt would have taken Esther's hand,
she brushed past him and went out into the hall. Pitt followed, with
another bow to the colonel, and courteously shutting the door behind
him, wishing the work well over. Esther, however, made no fuss, hardly
any demonstration. She stood there in the hall and gave him her hand
silently, I might say coldly, for the hand was very cold, and her face
was white with suppressed feeling. Pitt grasped the hand and looked at
the face; hesitated; then opened his arms and took her into them and
kissed her. Was she not like a little sister? and was it possible to
let this heartache go without alleviation? No doubt if the colonel had
been present he would not have ventured such a breach of forms; but as
it was Pitt defied forms. He clasped the sorrowing little girl in his
arms and kissed her brow and her cheek and her lips.

'I'm coming back again,' said he. 'See that you have everything all
right for me when I come.'

Then he let her out of his arms and went off without another word. As
he went home, he was ready to smile and shake himself at the warmth of
demonstration into which he had been betrayed. He was not Esther's
brother, and had no particular right to show himself so affectionate.
The colonel would have been, he doubted, less than pleased, and it
would not have happened in his dignified presence. But Esther was a
child, Pitt said to himself, and a very tender child; and he could not
be sorry that he had shown her the feeling was not all on her side.
Perhaps it might comfort the child. It never occurred to him to
reproach himself with showing more than he felt, for he had no
occasion. The feeling he had given expression to was entirely genuine,
and possibly deeper than he knew, although he shook his head,
figuratively, at himself as he went home.

Esther, when the door closed upon Pitt, stood still for some minutes,
in the realization that now it was all over and he was gone. The hall
door was like a grim kind of barrier, behind which the light of her
life had disappeared. It remained so stolidly closed! Pitt's hand did
not open it again; the hand was already at a distance, and would maybe
never push that door open any more. He was gone, and the last day of
that summer vacation was over. The feeling absorbed Esther for a few
minutes and made her as still as a stone. It _did_ comfort her that he
had taken such a kindly leave of her, and at the same time it sealed
the sense of her loss. For he was the only one in the world in whose
heart it was to give her good earnest kisses like that; and he was
away, away! Her father's affection for her was undoubted, nevertheless
it was not his wont to give it that sort of expression. Esther was not
comparing, however, nor reflecting; only filled with the sense of her
loss, which for the moment chilled and stiffened her. She heard her
father's voice calling her, and she went in.

'My dear, you stay too long in the cold. Is William gone?'

'Oh yes, papa.'

'This is not the right paper I want; this is an August paper. I want
the one for the last week in July.'

Esther went and rummaged again among the pile of newspapers,
mechanically, finding it hard to command her attention to such an
indifferent business. She brought the July paper at last.

'Papa, do you think he will ever come back?' she asked, trembling with
pain and the effort not to show it.

'Come back? Who? William Dallas? Why shouldn't he come back? His
parents are here; if he lives, he will return to them, no doubt.'

Esther sat down and said no more. The earth seemed to her dreadfully
empty.




CHAPTER XIII.

_LETTERS_.


And so life seemed for many days to the child. She could not shake off
the feeling, nor regain any brightness of spirit. Dull, dull,
everything in earth and heaven seemed to be. The taste and savour had
gone out of all her pleasures and occupations. She could not read,
without the image of Pitt coming between her and the page; she could
not study, without an unendurable sense that he was no longer there nor
going to be there to hear her lessons. She had no heart for walks,
where every place recalled some memory of Pitt, and what they had done
or said there together; she shunned the box of coins, and hardly cared
to gather one of the few lingering fall flowers. And the last of them
were soon gone, for the pleasant season was ended. Then came rains and
clouds and winds, and Esther was shut up to the house.

I can never tell how desolate she was. Truly she was only a girl of
thirteen; she ought not to have been desolate, perhaps, for any no
greater matter. She had her father, and her books, and her youth. Bat
Esther had also a nature delicate and deep far beyond what is common;
and then she was unduly matured by her peculiar life. Intercourse with
light-hearted children like herself had not kept her thoughtless and
careless. At thirteen Esther was looking into life, and finding it
already confused and dark. At thirteen also she was learning and
practising self-command. Her father, not much of an observer unless in
the field of military operations, had no perception that she was
suffering; it never occurred to him that she might be solitary; he
never knew that she needed his tenderest care and society and guidance.
He might have replaced everything to Esther, so that she would have
found no want at all. He did nothing of the kind. He was a good man;
just and upright and highly honourable; but he was selfish, like most
men. He lived to himself in his own deprivation and sorrow, and never
thought but that Esther would in a few days get over the loss of her
young teacher and companion. He hardly thought about it at all. The
idea of filling Pitt's place, of giving her in his own person what left
her when Pitt went away, did not enter his head. Indeed, he had no
knowledge of what Pitt had done for her. If he had known it, there is
little doubt it would have excited his jealousy. For it is quite in
some people's nature to be jealous of another's having what they do not
want themselves.

And so Esther suffered in a way and to a degree that was not good for
her. Her old dull spiritless condition was creeping upon her again. She
realized, more than it is the way of thirteen years old to realize,
that something more than an ocean of waters--an ocean of
circumstances--had rolled itself between her and the one friend and
companion she had ever had. Pitt said he would return; but four or five
years, for all present purposes, is a sort of eternity at her age; hope
could not leap over it, and expectation died at the brink. Her want of
comfort came back in full force; but where was the girl to get it?

The sight of Mr. and Mrs. Dallas used to put her in a fever. Once in a
while the two would come to make an evening call upon her father; and
then Esther used to withdraw as far as possible into a corner of the
room and watch and listen; watch the looks of the pair with a kind of
irritated fascination, and listen to their talk with her heart jumping
and throbbing in pain and anxiety and passionate longing. For they were
Pitt's father and mother, and only the ocean of waters lay between him
and them, which they could cross at any time; he belonged to them, and
could not be separated from them. All which would have drawn Esther
very near to them and made them delightful to her, but that she knew
very well they desired no such approach. Whether it were simply because
she and her father were 'dissenters' Esther could not tell; whatever
the reason, her sensitive nature and discerning vision saw the fact.
They made visits of neighbourly politeness to the one English family
that was within reach; but more than politeness they desired neither to
give nor receive. I suppose it was this perception which made the sight
of the pair so irritating to Esther. _They_ were near Pitt, but they
did not wish that _she_ should be. Esther kept well at a distance. But
with all this they talked of their son perpetually: of his voyage, of
his prospects, of his grand-uncle at Kensington, of his career in
college, or at the University rather, and of his possible permanent
remaining in the old country; at any rate, of his studying there for a
profession. The colonel was only faintly interested, and would take up
his book with a sigh of relief when they were gone; but Esther would
sit in passionate misery, not shedding any tears; only staring with her
big eyes at the lire in a sort of fixed gravity most unfit for her
years.

The months went heavily. Winters were rather severe and very long at
Seaforth; Esther was much shut up to the house. It made things all the
harder for her. To the colonel it made no difference. He lay upon his
couch, summer or winter, and went on with his half-hearted
reading,--half a heart was all he brought to it; while Esther would
stand at the window, watching the snow drive past, or the beating down
of the rain, or the glitter of the sunbeams upon a wide white world,
and almost wonder at the thought that warm lights and soft airs and
flowers and walks and botanizing had ever been out there, where now the
glint of the sunbeams on the snow-crystals was as sharp as diamonds,
and all vegetable life seemed to be gone for ever.

Pitt had sailed in November, various difficulties having delayed his
departure to a month later than the time intended for it. Therefore
news from him could not be looked for until the new year was on its
way. Towards the end of January, however, as early as could possibly be
hoped, a letter came to Colonel Gainsborough, which he immediately knew
to be in Pitt's hand.

'No postmark,' he said, surveying it. 'I suppose it came by private
opportunity.'

'Papa, you look a long while at the outside!' said Esther, who stood by
full of excited impatience which she knew better than to show.

'The outside has its interest too, my dear,' said her father. 'I was
looking for the Lisbon postmark, but there is none whatever. It must
have come by private hand.'

He broke the seal, and found within an enclosure directed to Esther,
which he gave her. And Esther presently left the room. Her father, she
saw, was deep in the contents of his letter, and would not notice her
going, while if she stayed in the room she knew she would be called
upon to read her own letter or to show it before she was ready. She
wanted to enjoy the full first taste of it, slowly and thoroughly.
Meanwhile, the colonel never noticed her going. Pitt's letter was dated
'Lisbon, Christmas Day, 1813,' and ran as follows:--


'MY DEAR COLONEL,--I have landed at last, as you see, in this dirtiest
of all places I ever was in. I realize now why America is called the
New world; for everything here drives the consciousness upon me that
the world on this side is very old--so old, I should say, that it is
past cleansing. I do suppose it is not fair to compare it with
Seaforth, which is as bright in comparison as if it were an ocean shell
shining with pure lights; but I certainly hope things will mend when I
get to London.

'But I did not mean to talk to you about Lisbon, which I suppose you
know better than I do. My hope is to give you the pleasure of an early
piece of news. Probably the papers will already have given it to you,
but it is just possible that the chances of weather and ships may let
my letter get to you first, and in that case my pleasure will be gained.

'There is great news. Napoleon has been beaten, beaten! isn't that
great? He has lost a hundred thousand men, and is driven back over the
Rhine. Holland has joined the Allies, and the Prince of Orange; and
Lord Wellington has fought such a battle as history hardly tells of;
seven days' fighting; and the victory ranks with the greatest that ever
were gained.

'That is all I can tell you now, but it is so good you can afford to
wait for further details. It is now more difficult than ever to get
into France, and I don't know yet how I am going to make my way to
England; it is specially hard for Americans, and I must be reckoned an
American, you know. However, money will overcome all difficulties;
money and persistence. I have written to Esther something about my
voyage, which will, I hope, interest her. I will do myself the pleasure
of writing again when I get to London. Meanwhile, dear sir, I remain

'Ever your grateful and most obedient,

'WILM. PITT DALLAS.'


Esther, while her father was revelling in this letter, was taking a
very different sort of pleasure in hers. There was a fire up-stairs in
her room; she lit a candle, and, in the exquisite sense of having her
enjoyment all to herself, went slowly over the lines; as slowly as she
could.


'Lisbon, _Christmas Day_, 1813. 'MY DEAR LITTLE ESTHER,--If you think a
voyage over the sea is in anything like a journey by land, you are
mistaken. The only one thing in which they are alike, is that in both
ways you _get on_. But wheels go smoothly, even over a jolty road; and
waves do nothing but toss you. It was just one succession of rollings
and pitchings from the time we left New Bedford till we got sight of
the coast of Portugal. The wind blew all the time _almost_ a gale,
rising at different points of our passage to the full desert of the
name. One violent storm we had; and all the rest of the voyage we were
pitching about at such a rate that we had to fight for our meals;
tables were broken, and coffee and chocolate poured about with a
reckless disregard of economy. For about halt the way it rained
persistently; so altogether you may suppose, Queen Esther, that my
first experience has not made me in love with the sea. But it wasn't
bad, after all. The wind drove us along, that was one comfort; and it
would have driven us along much faster, if our sails had been good for
anything; but they were a rotten set, a match for the crew, who were a
rascally band of Portuguese. However, we drove along, as I said, seeing
nobody to speak to all the way except ourselves; not a sail in sight
nearer than eight or ten miles off.

'Well, the 23rd we sighted land, to everybody's great joy, you may
suppose. The wind fell, and that night was one of the most beautiful
and delicious you can imagine. A smooth sea without a ripple, a clear
sky without a cloud, stars shining down quietly, and air as soft as May
at Seaforth. I stood on deck half the night, enjoying, and thinking of
five hundred thousand things one after another. Now that I was almost
setting my foot on a new world, my life, past and future, seemed to
rise up and confront me; and I looked at it and took counsel with it,
as it were. Seaforth on one side, and Oxford on the other; the question
was, what should William Pitt be between them? The question never
looked so big to me before. Somehow, I believe, the utter perfection of
the night suggested to me the idea of perfection generally; what a
mortal may come to when at his best. Such a view of nature as I was
having puts one out of conceit, I believe, with whatever is out of
order, unseemly, or untrue, or what for any reason misses the end of
its existence. _Then_ rose the question, what is the end of
existence?--but I did not mean to give you my moralizings, Queen
Esther; I have drifted into it. I can tell you, though, that my
moralizing got a sharp emphasis the next day.

'I turned in at last, leaving the world of air and water a very image
of peace. I slept rather late, I suppose; was awakened by the hoarse
voice of the captain calling all hands on deck, in a manner that showed
me there must be urgent cause. I tumbled up as soon as possible. What
do you think I saw?

'The morning was as fair as the night had been. The sea was smooth, the
sun shining brilliantly. I suppose the colonel would tell you, that
seas may be _too_ smooth; anyhow I saw the fact now. There had been not
wind enough during the night to make our sails of any use; a current
had caught us, and we had been drifting, drifting, till now it appeared
we were drifting straight on to a line of rocks which we could see at a
little distance; made known both to eye and ear: to the former by a
line of white where the waves broke upon the rocks, and to the latter
by the thundering noise the breakers made. Now you know, where waves
break, a ship would stand very little chance of holding together; but
what were we to do? The only thing possible we did,--let out our
anchors; but the question was, would they hold? They did hold, but none
too soon; for we were left riding only about three times our ship's
length from the threatening danger. You see, we had a drunken crew; no
proper watch was kept; the captain was first roused by the thunder of
the waves dashing upon the rocks; and then nothing was ready or in
order, and before the anchors could be got out we were where I tell
you. The anchors held, but we could not tell how long they would hold,
nor how soon the force of the waves would drag us, cables and all, to
the rocks. There we sat and looked at the view and situation. We
hoisted a signal and fired guns of distress; but we were in front of a
rocky shore that gave us little hope of either being of avail. At last,
after three hours of this, the captain and some of the passengers got
into the yawl and went off to find help. We, left behind, stared at the
breakers. After three more hours had gone, I saw the yawl coming back,
followed by another small boat, and further off by four royal pilot
boats with sails. I saw them with the glass, that is, from my station
in the rigging. When they came up, all the passengers except half a
dozen, of whom I was one, were transferred to the pilot boats. You
should have heard the jabber of the Portuguese when they came on board!
But the captain had determined to try to save his brig, as by this time
a slight breeze had sprung up, and I stayed with some of the others to
help in the endeavour. When the rest of the passengers were safe on
board the pilot boats, we set about our critical undertaking. Sails
were spread, one anchor hoisted, the cable of the other cut, and we
stood holding our breath, to see whether wind or water would prove
strongest. But the sails drew; the brig slowly fell off before the
wind, and we edged away from our perilous position. Then, when we were
fairly off, there rose a roar of shouts that rent the air; for the
boats had all waited, lying a few rods off, to see what would become of
us. Queen Esther, I can tell you, if I had been a woman, I should have
sat down and cried; what _I_ did I won't say. As I looked back to the
scene of our danger, there was a most lovely rainbow spanning it,
showing in the cloud of spray that rose above the breakers.

'At six o'clock on Christmas eve I landed at Lisbon, where I got
comfortable quarters in an English boarding-house. When I can get to
London, I do not yet know. I am here at a great time, to see history as
it is taking shape in human life and experience; something different
from looking at it as cast into bronze or silver in former ages and
packed up in a box of coins; hey, Queen Esther? But that's good too in
its way. Your father will tell you the news.

'Your devoted subject,

'WILM. PITT DALLAS.'




CHAPTER XIV.

_STRUGGLES_.


Esther sat, swallowed up of excitement, poring over this letter, longer
than she knew; whether it gave her most pain or pleasure she could not
have told. Pleasure came in a great wave at first; and then pricks of
pain began to make themselves felt, as if the pleasure wave had been
full of sharp points. Her cheeks glowed, her eyes sent looks, or rather
one steady look, at the paper, which would certainly have bored it
through or set it on fire if moral qualities had taken to themselves
material power. At last, remembering that she must not stay too long,
she folded the letter up and returned to her father. He had taken _his_
letter coolly, she saw, and gone back to his book. How far his world
was from hers! Absolutely, Pitt's letter was nothing to him.

'Well, my dear,' said he, after a while observing her, 'what does he
say?'

'I suppose he told you, papa, what happened to him?'

'No, he did not; he only told me what is happening to the world. He has
gone to Europe at a grand time!'

'What is happening to the world, papa?'

'My dear, that arch-usurper and mischief-maker, Napoleon Buonaparte,
has been beaten by the allied armies at Leipzig--driven back over the
Rhine. It's glorious news! I wish I was with Lord Wellington.'

'To fight, papa?'

'Certainly. I would like to have a hand in what is going on. If I
could,' he added with a sigh.

'But papa, I should think fighting was not pleasant work?'

'Women's fighting is not.'

'Is men's fighting, papa? _Pleasant?_'

'It is pleasant to have a blow at a rascal. Ah, well! my fighting days
are over. What does Pitt tell you?'

'About his voyage, papa; nothing else.'

'Are you going to let me hear it?'

Esther would a little rather have kept it to herself, simply because it
was so precious to her. However, this question was a command, and she
read the letter aloud to her father. With that the matter was disposed
of, in all but her own mind. For the final result of the letter was to
stir up all the pain the writer's absence had caused, and to add to it
some new elements of aggravation. Esther had not realized, till those
letters came, how entirely the writer of them had gone out of her
world. In love and memory she had in a sort still kept him near;
without vision she had yet been not fully separated from him. Now these
pictures of the other world and of Pitt's life in it came like a
bright, sheer blade severing the connection which had until then
subsisted between her life and his. Yes, he was in another world! and
there was no connection any longer. He had not forgotten her yet, but
he would forget; how should he not? how could he help it? In the rich
sweep of variety and change and eager action which filled his
experience, what thought could he have any more for that quiet figure
on the sofa, or this lonely little child, whose life contained no
interest whatever! or how could his thoughts return at all to this dull
room, where everything remained with no change from morning to night
and from one week to another? Always Colonel Gainsborough there on the
sofa; always that same green cloth covering the table in the middle of
the floor, and the view of the snow-covered garden and road and fields
outside the windows, with those everlasting pollard poplars along the
fence. While Europe was in commotion, and armies rolling their masses
over it, and Napoleon fleeing and Lord Wellington chasing, and every
breath was full of eagerness and hope and triumph and purpose in that
world without.

Esther fell back into a kind of despair. Pitt was gone from her; now
she realized that fact thoroughly; not only gone in person, but moved
far off in mind. Maybe he might write again, once or twice; very likely
he would, for he was kind; but his life was henceforth separated from
Seaforth and from all the other life that had its home there. The old
cry for comfort began to sound in Esther's heart with a terrible
urgency. Where was it to come from? And as the child had only one
possible outlook for comfort, she began to set her face that way in a
kind of resolute determination. That is, she began to shut herself up
with her Bible and search it as a man who is poor searches for a hid
treasure, or as one who is starving looks for something to eat. Nobody
knew. She shut herself up and carried on her search alone, and troubled
nobody with questions. Nobody ever noticed the air of the child; the
grave, far-away look of her eyes; the pale face; the unnaturally quiet
demeanour. At least nobody noticed it to any purpose. Mrs. Barker did
communicate to Christopher her belief that that child was 'mopin'
herself into ninety years old;' and they were both agreed that she
ought to be sent to school. 'A girl don't grow just like one o' my
cabbages,' said Mr. Bounder; '_that_'ll make a head for itself.'

'Miss Esther's got a head,' put in Mrs. Barker.

''Twon't be solid and that, if it ain't looked after,' retorted her
brother. 'I don't s'pose you understand the natural world, though.
What's the colonel thinkin' about?'

'That ain't your and my business, Christopher. But I do worrit myself
about Miss Esther's face, the way I sees it sometimes.'

The colonel, it is true, did not see it as Mrs. Barker saw it. Not but
that he might, if he had ever watched her. But he did not watch. It
never occurred to him but that everything went right with Esther. When
she made him his tea, she was attentive and womanly; when she read
aloud to him, she read intelligently; and in the reciting of the few
lessons she did with her father, there was always no fault to find. How
could the colonel suppose anything was wrong? Life had become a dull,
sad story to him; why should it be different to anybody else? Nay, the
colonel would not have said that in words; it was rather the supine
condition into which he had lapsed, than any conclusion of his
intelligence; but the fact was, he had no realization of the fact that
a child's life ought to be bright and gay. He accepted Esther's sedate
unvarying tone and manner as quite the right thing, and found it suit
him perfectly. Nobody else saw the girl, except at church. The family
had not cultivated the society of their neighbours in the place, and
Esther had no friends among them.

There was a long succession of months during which things went on after
this fashion. Very weary months to Esther; indeed, months covered by so
thick a gloom that part of the child's life consisted in the struggle
to break it. Letters did not come frequently from Pitt, even to his
father and mother; he wrote that it was difficult to get a vessel to
take American letters at all, and that the chances were ten to one, if
accepted, that they would never get to the hands they were intended
for. American letters or American passengers were sometimes held to
vitiate the neutrality of a vessel; and if chased she would be likely
to throw them, that is, the former, overboard. Pitt was detained still
in Lisbon by the difficulty of getting passports, as late as the middle
of March, but expected then soon to sail for England. His passage was
taken. So Mr. and Mrs. Dallas reported on one of their evening visits.
They talked a great deal of politics at these visits, which sometimes
interested Esther and sometimes bored her excessively; but this last
bit of private news was brought one evening about the end of April.

'He has not gained much by his winter's work,' remarked the colonel.
'He might as well have studied this term at Yale.'

'He will not have lost his time,' said Mr. Dallas comfortably. 'He is
there, that is one thing; and he is looking about him; and now he will
have time to feel a little at home in England and make all his
arrangements before his studies begin. It is very well as it is.'

'If you think so, it is,' said the colonel drily.

The next news was that Pitt had landed at Falmouth, and was going by
post-chaise to London in a day or two. He reported having just got Lord
Byron's two last poems,--'The Corsair' and 'The Bride of Abydos';
wished he could send them home, but that was not so easy.

'He had better send them home, or send them anywhere,' said the
colonel; 'and give his attention to Sophocles and Euclid. Light poetry
does not amount to anything; it is worse than waste of time.'

'I don't want a man to be made of Greek and Latin,' said Mrs. Dallas.
'Do you think, only the Ancients wrote what is worthy to be read,
colonel?'

'They didn't write nonsense, my dear madam; and Byron does.'

'Nonsense!'

'Worse than nonsense.'

'Won't do to enquire too strictly into what the old Greeks and Romans
wrote, if folks say true,' remarked Mr. Dallas slyly.

'In the dead languages it won't do a young man so much harm,' said the
colonel. 'I hope William will give himself now to his Greek, since you
have afforded him such opportunity.'

Mrs. Dallas's air, as she rose to take leave, was inimitably expressive
of proud confidence and rejection of the question. Mr. Dallas laughed
carelessly and said, as he shook the colonel's hand, 'No fear!'

The next news they had came direct. Another letter from Pitt to the
colonel; and, as before, it enclosed one for Esther. Esther ran away
again to have the first reading and indulge herself in the first
impressions of it alone and free from question or observation. She even
locked her door. This letter was written from London, and dated May
1814.


'MY DEAR QUEEN ESTHER,--I wish you were here, for we certainly would
have some famous walks together. Do you know, I am in London? and that
means, in one of the most wonderful places in the world. You can have
no idea what sort of a place it is, and no words I can write will tell
you. I have not got over my own sense of astonishment and admiration
yet; indeed it is growing, not lessening; and every time I go out I
come home more bewildered with what I have seen. Do you ask me why? In
the first place, because it is so big. Next, because of the
unimaginable throng of human beings of every grade and variety. Such a
multitude of human lives crossing each other in an intraceable and
interminable network; intraceable to the human eye, but what a sight it
must be to the eye that sees all! All these people, so many hundreds of
thousands, acting and reacting upon one another's happiness,
prosperity, goodness, and badness. Now at such a place as Seaforth
people are left a good deal to their individuality, and are
comparatively independent of one another; but here I feel what a
pressure and bondage men's lives draw round each other. It makes me
catch my breath. You will not care about this, however, nor be able to
understand me.

'But another thing you would care for, and delight in; and that is the
historical associations of London. Queen Esther, it is delightful! You
and I have looked at coins and read books together, and looked at
history so; but here I seem to touch it. I have been to-day to Charing
Cross, standing and wandering about, and wondering at the things that
have happened there. Ask your father to tell you about Charing Cross. I
could hardly come away. If you ask me how _I_ know so well what
happened there, I will tell you. I have found an old uncle here. You
knew I had one? He lives just a little out of London, or out of the
thick of London, in a place that is called Kensington; in a queer old
house, which, however, I like very much, and that is filled with
curiosities. It is in a pleasant situation, not far from one of the
public parks,--though it is not called a park, but "Garden,"--and with
one or two palaces and a number of noble mansions about it. My uncle
received me very hospitably, and would have me come and make my home
with him while I am in London. That is nice for me, and in many ways.
He is a character, this old uncle of mine; something of an antiquary, a
good deal of a hermit, a little eccentric, but stuffed with local
knowledge, and indeed with knowledge of many sorts. I think he has
taken a fancy to me somehow, Queen Esther; at any rate, he is very
kind. He seems to like to go about with me and show me London, and
explain to me what London is. He was there at Charing Cross with me,
holding forth on history and politics--he's a great Tory; ask the
colonel what that is; and really I seemed to see the ages rolling
before me as he talked, and I looked at Northumberland House and at the
brazen statue of Charles I. If I had time I would tell you about them,
as Mr. Strahan told me. And yesterday I was in the House of Commons,
and heard some great talking; and to-morrow we are going to the Tower.
I think, if you were only here to go too, we should have a first-rate
sort of a time. But I will try and tell you about it.

'And talking of history,--Mr. Strahan has some beautiful coins. There
is one of Philip of Macedon, and two of Alexander; think of that, Queen
Esther; and some exquisite gold pieces of Tarentum and Syracuse. How
your eyes would look at them! Well, study up everything, so that when
we meet again we may talk up all the world. I shall be very hard at
work myself soon, as soon as I go to Oxford. In the meantime I am
rather hard at work here, although to be sure the work is play.

'This is a very miserable bit of a letter, and nothing in it, just
because I have so much to say. If I had time I would write it over, but
I have not time. The next shall be better. I am a great deal with Mr.
Strahan, in-doors as well as out. I wish I could show you his house,
Queen. It is old and odd and pretty. Thick old walls, little windows in
deep recesses; low ceilings and high ceilings, for different parts of
the house are unlike each other; most beautiful dark oaken
wainscotings, carved deliciously, and grown black with time; and big,
hospitable chimney-pieces, with fires of English soft coal. Some of the
rooms are rather dark, to me who am accustomed to the sun of America
pouring in at a wealth of big windows; but others are to me quite
charming. And this quaint old house is filled with treasures and
curiosities. Mr. Strahan lives in it quite alone with two servants, a
factotum of a housekeeper and another factotum of a man-servant. I must
say I find it intelligible that he should take pleasure in having me
with him. Good-bye for to-night. I'll write soon again.

'WM. PITT DALLAS.'


As on occasion of the former letter, Esther lingered long over the
reading of this; her uneasiness not appeased by it at all; then at last
went down to her father, to whom the uneasiness was quite unknown and
unsuspected.

'I think William writes the longest letters to you,' he remarked. 'What
does he say this time?'

Esther read her letter aloud.

'Will has fallen on his feet,' was the comment.

'What does he say to you, papa?'

'Not much; and yet a good deal. You may read for yourself.'

Which Esther did, eagerly. Pitt had told her father about his visit to
the House of Commons.

'I had yesterday,' he wrote, 'a rare pleasure, which you, my dear
colonel, would have appreciated. Mr. Strahan took me to the House of
Commons; and I heard Mr. Canning, Mr. Whitbread, Mr. Wilberforce, Mr.
Ponsonby, and others, on what question, do you think? Nothing less than
the duty which lies upon England just at this moment, to use the
advantage of her influence with her allies in Europe to get them to
join with her in putting down the slave trade. It was a royal occasion;
and the enjoyment of it quite beyond description. To-day I have been
standing at Charing Cross, looking at the statue of Charles I., and
wondering at the world. My grand-uncle is a good Tory and held forth
eloquently as we stood there. Don't tell my mother! but privately, my
dear colonel, I seem to discover in myself traces of Whiggism. Whether
it be nature, or your influence, or the air of America, that has caused
it to grow, I know not; but there it is. My mother would be very
seriously disturbed if she suspected the fact. As to my father, I
really never discovered to my satisfaction what his politics are. To
Mr. Strahan I listen reverently. It is not necessary for me to say to
him all that comes into my head. _But_ it came into my head to-day, as
I stood gazing up at the equestrian statue at Charing Cross, that it
would better become the English people to have John Hampden there than
that miserable old trickster, Charles Stuart.'

Esther read and re-read.

'Papa,' she said at last, 'what is a Tory?'

'It is a party name, my dear; it is given to a certain political party.'

'You are not a Tory?'

'No! If I had been, I should never have found my way here.' The colonel
said it with a sigh.

'Then I suppose you are a Whig. And are Mr. and Mrs. Dallas Tories?'

'Humph!--Will says his mother is. He ought to know.'

'What is the difference, papa?'

'My dear, I don't know that you can understand. The names grew up in
the old days when the Stuarts were trying to get all the power of the
government into their own hands and to leave none to the people. Those
who stood by the king, through thick and thin, were called Tories;
those who tried to limit him and guard the people's liberties, were
Whigs.'

'What queer names! Papa, are there Whigs and Tories in England now?'

'What are called so.'

'Are the kings still trying to get away the liberties of the people?'

'No, my child. Those are pretty well secured.'

'And here we have no king at all. I don't see how you can be a Whig, or
Mrs. Dallas a Tory.'

'There are always the two parties. One, that sticks by the government
and aims to strengthen its hands, right or wrong; and the other, that
looks out for the liberties of the people and watches that they be not
infringed or tampered with.'

Esther thought a while, but not exclusively over the political
question. It might have occurred to an older person to wonder how
William Pitt had got his name from parents who were both Tories. The
fact was that here, as in many another case, money was the solution of
the difficulty. A rich relation, who was also a radical, had promised a
fine legacy to the boy if he were given the name of the famous Whig
statesman, and Mr. Mrs. and Dallas had swallowed the pill per help of
the sugar. About this Esther knew nothing.

'Papa,' she said, 'don't you think Pitt will get so fond of England
that he will never want to come back?'

'It would not be strange if he did.'

'Is England so much better than America, papa?'

'It is England, my dear!' the colonel said, with an expression which
meant, she could not tell what.




CHAPTER XV.

_COMFORT_.


These letters, on the whole, did not comfort Esther. The momentary
intense pleasure was followed by inevitable dull reaction and contrast;
and before she had well got over the effect of one batch of letters
another came; and she was kept in a perpetual stir and conflict. For
Pitt proved himself a good correspondent, although it was June before
the first letter from his parents reached him. So he reported, writing
on the third of that month; and told that the Allied Sovereigns were
just then leaving Paris for a visit to the British Capital, and all the
London world was on tiptoe. 'Great luck for me to be here just now,' he
wrote; and so everybody at home agreed. Mrs. Dallas grew more stately,
Esther thought, with every visit she made at the colonel's house; and
she and her husband made many. It was a necessity to have some one to
speak to about Pitt and Pitt's letters; and it was urgent likewise that
Mrs. Dallas should know if letters had been received by the same mail
at this other house. She always found out, one way or another; and then
she would ask, 'May I see?' and scan with eager eyes the sheet the
colonel generally granted her. Of the letters to Esther nothing was
said, but Esther lived in fear and trembling that some inadvertent word
might let her know of their existence.

Another necessity which brought the Dallases often to Colonel
Gainsborough's was the political situation. They could hardly discuss
it with anybody else in Seaforth, and what is the use of a political
situation if you cannot discuss it? All the rest of the families in the
neighbourhood were strong Americans; and even Pitt, in his letters, was
more of an American than anything else. Indeed, so much more, that it
gave his mother sad annoyance. He told of the temper of the English
people at this juncture; of the demands to be made by the English
government before they would hear of peace; of a strong force sent to
Canada, and the general indignant and belligerent tone of feeling and
speech among members of Parliament; but Pitt did not write as if he
sympathized with it. 'He has lived here too long already!' sighed his
mother.

'Not if he is destined to live here the rest of his life, my dear
madam,' said the colonel.

'He will not do that. He will end by settling in England.'

'Will may have his own views, on that as on some other things.'

'By the time he has gone through the University and studied for his
profession, he will be more of an Englishman than of an American,' Mr.
Dallas observed contentedly. 'He will choose for himself.'

'What profession? Have you fixed upon one? or has he?'

'Time enough yet for that.'

'But your property lies here.'

'I am here to take care of it,' said Mr. Dallas, laughing a little.

All this sort of talk, which Esther heard often, with variations, made
one thing clear to her, namely, that if it depended on his father and
mother, Pitt's return to his native country would be long delayed or
finally prevented. It did not entirely depend on them, everybody knew
who knew him; nevertheless it seemed to Esther that the fascinations of
the old world must be great, and the feeling of the distance between
her and Pitt grew with every letter. It was not the fault of the
letters or of the writer in any way, nor was it the effect the latter
were intended to produce; but Esther grew more and more despondent
about him. And then, after a few months, the letters became short and
rare. Pitt had gone to Oxford; and, from the time of his entering the
University, plunged head and ears into business, so eagerly that time
and disposition failed for writing home. Letters did come, from time to
time, but there was much less in them; and those for Colonel
Gainsborough were at long intervals. So, when the second winter of
Pitt's absence began to set in, Esther reckoned him, to all intents and
purposes, lost to her life.

The girl went with increased eagerness and intentness to the one
resource she had--her Bible. The cry for happiness is so natural to the
human heart, that it takes long oppression to stifle it. The cry was
strong in Esther's young nature--strong and imperative; and in all the
world around her she saw no promise of help or supply. The spring at
which she had slaked her thirst was dried up; the desert was as barren
to her eye as it had been to Hagar's; but, unlike Hagar, she sought
with a sort of desperate eagerness in one quarter where she believed
water might be found. When people search in _that_ way, unless they get
discouraged, their search is apt to come to something; unless, indeed,
they are going after a mirage, and it was no mirage that hovered before
Esther,--no vision of anything, indeed; she was searching into the
meaning of a promise.

And, as I said, nobody knew; nobody helped her; the months of that
winter rolled slowly and gloomily over her. Esther was between fourteen
and fifteen now; her mind just opening to a consciousness of its
powers, and a growing dawn of its possibilities. Life was unfolding,
not its meaning, but something of its extent and richness to her; less
than ever could she content herself to have it a desert. The study went
on all through the winter with no visible change or result. But with
the breaking spring the darkness and ice-bound state of Esther's mind
seemed to break up too. Another look came into the girl's face--a high
quiet calm; a light like the light of the spring itself, so gracious
and tender and sweet. Esther was changed. The duties which she had done
all along with a dull punctuality were done now with a certain blessed
alacrity; her eye got its life of expression again, and a smile more
sweet than any former ones came readily to the lips. I do not think the
colonel noticed all this; or if he noticed at all, he simply thought
Esther was glad of the change of season; the winter, to be sure, had
kept her very much shut up. The servants were more observing.

'Do you know, we're a-goin' to have a beauty in this 'ere house?'
inquired Christopher one evening of his sister, with a look of sly
search, as if to see whether she knew it.

'Air we?' asked the housekeeper.

'A beauty, and no mistake. Why, Sarah, can't you see it?'

'I sees all there is to see in the family,' the housekeeper returned
with a superior air.

'Then you see that. She's grown and changed uncommon, within a year.'

'She's a very sweet young lady,' Mrs. Barker agreed.

'And she's goin' to be a stunner for looks,' Christopher repeated, with
that same sly observation of his sister's face. 'She'll be
better-lookin' than ever her mother was.'

'Mrs. Gainsborough was a handsome woman too,' said the housekeeper.
'But Miss Esther's very promisin'--you're right there; she's very
promisin'. She's just beginnin' to show what she will be.'

'She's got over her dumps lately uncommon. I judged the dumps was
natural enough, sitiwated as she is; but she's come out of 'em. She's
openin' up like a white camellia; and there ain't anythin' that grows
that has less shadow to it; though maybe it ain't what you'd call a gay
flower,' added Christopher thoughtfully.

'Is that them stiff white flowers as has no smell to 'em?'

'The same, Mrs. Barker--if you mean what I mean.'

'Then I wouldn't liken Miss Esther to no sich. She's sweet, she is, and
she ain't noways stiff. She has just which I call the manners a young
lady ought to have.'

'Can't beat a white camellia for manners,' responded Christopher
jocularly.

So the servants saw what the father did not. I think he hardly knew
even that Esther was growing taller.

One evening in the spring, Esther was as usual making tea for her
father. As usual also the tea-time was very silent. The colonel
sometimes carried on his reading alongside of his tea-cup; at other
times, perhaps, he pondered what he had been reading.

'Papa,' said Esther suddenly,  'would it be any harm if I wrote a
letter to Pitt?'

The colonel did not answer at once.

'Do you want to write to him?'

'Yes, papa; I would like it--I would like to write once.'

'What do you want to write to him for?'

'I would like to tell him something that I think it would please him to
hear.'

'What is that?'

'It is just something about myself, papa,' Esther said, a little
hesitatingly.

'You may write, and I will enclose it in a letter of mine.'

'Thank you, papa.'

A day or two passed, and then Esther brought her letter. It was closed
and sealed. The colonel took it and turned it over.

'There's a good deal of it,' he remarked. 'Was it needful to use so
many words?'

'Papa,' said Esther, hesitating, 'I didn't think about how many words I
was using.'

'You should have had thinner paper. Why did you seal it up?'

'Papa, I didn't think about that either. I only thought it had got to
be sealed.'

'You did not wish to hinder my seeing what you had written?'

'No, papa,' said Esther, a little slowly.

'That will do.' And he laid the letter on one side, and Esther supposed
the matter was disposed of. But when she had kissed him and gone off to
bed, the colonel brought the letter before him again, looked at it, and
finally broke the seal and opened it. There was a good deal of it, as
he had remarked.


'Seaforth, _May_ 11, 1815. 'MY DEAR PITT,--Papa has given me leave to
write a letter to you; and I wanted to write, because I have something
to tell you that I think you will be glad to hear. I am afraid I cannot
tell it very well, for I am not much accustomed to writing letters; but
I will do as well as I can.

'I am afraid it will take me some time to say what I want to say. I
cannot put it in two or three sentences. You must have patience with me.

'Do you remember my telling you once that I wanted comfort? And do you
remember my asking you once about the meaning of some words in the
Bible, where I was looking for comfort, because mamma said it was the
best place? We were sitting in the verandah, one afternoon. You had
been away, to New Haven, and were home for vacation.

'Well, I partly forgot about it that summer, I was so happy. You know
what a good time we had with everything, and I forgot about wanting
comfort. But after you went away that autumn to Lisbon and to England,
then the want came back. You were very good about writing, and I
enjoyed your letters very much; and yet, somehow, every one seemed to
make me feel a little worse than I did before. That is, after the first
bit, you know. For an hour, perhaps, while I was reading it, and
reading it the second time, and thinking about it, I was almost
perfectly happy; the letters seemed to bring you near; but when just
that first hour was passed, they made you seem farther off than ever;
farther off every time. And then the want of comfort came back, and I
did not know where to get it. There was nobody to ask, and no help at
all, if I could not find it in the Bible. All that winter, and all the
summer, last summer that was, and all the first part of this last
winter, I did not know what to do, I wanted comfort so. I thought maybe
you would never come back to Seaforth again; and you know there is
nobody else here, and I was quite alone. I never do see anybody but
papa, except Mr. and Mrs. Dallas, who come here once in a while. So I
went to the Bible. I read, and I thought.

'Do you remember those words I once asked you about? Perhaps you do
not, so I will write them down here. "The Lord make His face shine upon
thee, and be gracious unto thee. The Lord lift up His countenance upon
thee, and give the peace." Those are the words.

'Do you remember what you said at that time, about the pleasure of
seeing a face that looks brightly and kindly upon one? only you did not
know how that could be true of God, because we cannot really _see_ His
face? Well, I thought a great deal about that. You see, there are the
words; and so, I thought, the thing must be possible somehow, and there
must be some way in which they can be true, or the Bible would not say
so. I began to pray that the Lord would make His face shine upon _me_.
Then I remembered another thing. It is only the faces we _love_ that we
care about seeing--I mean, that we care about so very much; and it is
only the faces that love us that _can_ "shine" upon us. But I did not
love God, for I did not know Him; and I knew He could not love me, for
He knew me too well. So I began to pray a different prayer. I asked
that God would teach me to love Him, and make me such a person that He
could love me. It was all very dark and confused before my mind; I
think I was like a person groping about and feeling for things he
cannot see. It was very miserable, for I had no comfort at all; and the
days and the nights were all sad and dark, only I kept a little bit of
hope.

'Then I must tell you another thing. I had been doing nothing but
praying and reading the Bible. But one day I came to these words, which
struck me very much. They are in the fourteenth chapter of John:--

'"He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth
me; and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father; and I will love
him, and will manifest myself to him."

'Do you notice those last words? That is like making the face shine, or
lifting up the countenance upon a person. But then I saw that to get
that, which I wanted. I must _keep His commandments_. I hardly knew
what they were, and I began to read to find out. I had been only
looking for comfort before. And as fast as I found out one of His
commands, I began to do it, as far as I could. Pitt, His commandments
are such beautiful things!

'And then, I don't know how it came or when it came, exactly, but I
began to _see His face_. And it began to shine upon me. And the
darkness began to go away, And now, Pitt, this is what I wanted to tell
you: I have found comfort. I am not dark, and I don't feel alone any
more. The promise is all true. I think He has manifested Himself to me;
for I am sure I know Him a little, and I love Him a great deal; and
everything seems changed. It is _so_ changed, Pitt. I am happy now, and
contented, and things seem beautiful to me again, as they used to do
when you were here, only even more, I think.

'I thought you would be glad to know it, and so I have written all this
long letter, and my fingers are really tired.

'Your loving friend,

'ESTHER GAINSBOROUGH.'


The colonel read this somewhat peculiar document with wondering
attention. He got to the end, and began again, with his mind in a good
deal of confusion. A second reading left him more confused than the
first, and he began the third time. What did Esther mean by this want
of comfort? How could she want comfort? And what was this strange thing
that she had found? And how came she to be pouring out her mind in this
fashion to Pitt, to him of all people? The colonel was half touched,
half jealous, half awed. What had his child learned in her strange
solitary Bible study? He had heard of religious ecstasies and religious
enthusiasts; devotees; people set apart by a singular experience; was
his Esther possibly going to be anything like that? He did not wish it.
He wanted her certainly to be a good woman, and a religious woman; he
did not want her to be extravagant. And this sounded extravagant, even
visionary. How had she got it? What had Pitt Dallas to do with it? Was
it for want of _him_ that Esther had set up such a cry for comfort? The
colonel liked nothing of all the questions that started up in his mind;
and the only satisfactory thing was that in some way Esther seemed to
be feeling happy. But her father did not want her to be given over to a
visionary happiness, which in the end would desert her. He sat up a
long time reading and brooding over the letter. Finally he closed it
and sealed it again, and resolved to let it go off, and to have a talk
with his daughter.




CHAPTER XVI.

_REST AND UNREST_.


It cost the colonel a strange amount of trouble to get to that talk.
For an old soldier and man of the world to ask a little innocent girl
about her meaning of words she had written, would seem a simple matter
enough; but there was something about it that tied the colonel's
tongue. He could not bring himself to broach the subject at breakfast,
with the clear homely daylight streaming upon the breakfast table, and
Esther moving about and attending to her usual morning duties; all he
could do was to watch her furtively. This creature was growing up out
of his knowledge; he looked to see what outward signs of change might
be visible. He saw a fair, slim girl, no longer a little girl
certainly, with a face that still was his child's face, he thought. And
yet, as he looked, he slowly came to the conviction that it was the
face of something more than a child. The old simplicity and the old
purity were there indeed; but now there was a blessed calm upon the
brow, and the calmness had a certain lofty quality; and the sweetness,
which was more than ever, was refined and deep. It was not the
sweetness of hilarious childhood, but something that had a more distant
source than childhood draws from. The colonel ate his breakfast without
knowing what he was eating; however, he could not talk to Esther at
that time. He waited till evening had come round again, and the lamp
was lit, and he was taking his toast and tea, with Esther ministering
to him in her wonted course.

'How old are you, Esther?' he began suddenly.

'Near fifteen, papa.'

'Fifteen! Humph!'

'Why, papa? Had you forgotten?'

'At the moment.' Then he began again. 'I sent your letter off.'

'Thank you, papa.'

'It was sealed up. Why did you seal it? Did you mean me not to read it?'

Esther's eyes opened. 'I never thought about it, papa. I didn't know
you would care to read it. I thought it must be sealed, and I sealed
it.'

'I did care to read it, so I opened it. Had you any objection?'

'No, papa!' said Esther, wondering.

'And having opened it, I read it. I did not quite understand it,
Esther.'

Esther made no reply.

'What do you want _comfort_ so much for, my child? I thought you were
happy--as happy as other children.'

'I _am_ happy now, papa; more happy than other children.'

'But you were not?'

'No, papa; for a while I was not.'

'Why? What did you want, that you had not?--except your mother,' the
colonel added, with a sigh of consciousness that there might be a
missing something there.

'I was not thinking of her, papa,' Esther said slowly.

'Of what, then?' The colonel was intensely curious.

'I was very happy, as long as Pitt was at home.'

'William Dallas! But what is he to you? he's a collegian, and you are a
little girl.'

'Papa, the collegian was very kind to the little girl,' Esther said,
with a smile that was very bright, and also merry with a certain sense
of humour.

'I grant it; still--it is unreasonable And was it because he was gone,
that you wanted comfort?'

'I didn't want it, or I didn't know that I wanted it, while he was
here.'

'People that don't know they need comfort, do _not_ need it, I fancy.
You draw fine distinctions. Well, go on, Esther. You have found it,
your letter says.'

'Oh yes, papa.'

'My dear, I do not understand you; and I should like to understand. Can
you tell me what you mean?'

As he raised his eyes to her, he saw a look come over her face that he
could as little comprehend as he could comprehend her letter; a look of
surprise at him, mingled with a sudden shine of some inner light. She
was moving about the tea-table; she came round and stood in front of
her father, full in view.

'Papa, I thought my letter explained it. I mean, that now I have come
to know the Lord Jesus.'

'_Now?_ My dear, I was under the impression that you had been taught
and had known the truths of the gospel all your life?'

'Oh, yes, papa; so I was. The difference'--

'Well?'

'The difference, papa, is, that now I know _Him_.'

'Him? Whom?'

'I mean Jesus, papa.'

'How do you know Him? Do you mean that lately you have begun to think
about Him?'

'No, papa, I had been thinking a great while.'

'And now?'--

'Now I have come to know Him.'

That Esther knew what she meant was evident; it was equally plain that
the colonel did not. He was puzzled, and did not like to show it too
fully. The one face was shining with clearness and gladness; the other
was dissatisfied and perplexed.

'My dear, I do not understand you,' the colonel said, after a pause.
'Have you been reading mystical books? I did not know there were any in
the house.'

'I have been reading only the Bible, papa; and _that_ is not mystical.'

'Your language sounds so.'

'Why, no, papa! I do not mean anything mystical.'

'Will you explain yourself?'

Esther paused, thinking how she should do this. When one has used the
simplest words in one's vocabulary, and is called upon to expound them
by the use of others less simple, the task is somewhat critical. The
colonel watched with a sort of disturbed pleasure the thoughtful, clear
brow, the grave eyes which had become so sweet. The intelligence at
work there, he saw, was no longer that of a child; the sweetness was no
longer the blank of unconscious ignorance, but the wisdom of some
blessed knowledge. What did she know that was hidden from his
experience?

'Papa, it is very difficult to tell you,' Esther began. 'I used to know
about the things in the Bible, and I had learned whole chapters by
heart; but that was all. I did not know much more than the name of
Christ,--and His history, of course, and His words.'

'What more could you know?' inquired the colonel, in increasing
astonishment.

'That's just it, papa; I did not know Himself. You know what you mean
when you say you don't know somebody. I mean just that.'

'But, Esther, that sounds to me very like--very like--an improper use
of language,' said the colonel, stammering. 'How can you _know Him_, as
you speak?'

'I can't tell you, papa. I think He showed Himself to me.'

'Showed Himself! Do you mean in a vision?'

'Oh no, papa!' said Esther, smiling. 'I have not seen His face, not
literally. But He has somehow showed me how good He is, and how
glorious; and has made me understand how He loves me, and how He is
with me; so that I do not feel alone any more. I don't think I ever
shall feel alone again.'

Was this extravagance? The colonel pondered. It seemed to him a thing
to be rebuked or repressed; he knew nothing of this kind in his own
religious experience; he feared it was visionary and fanciful. But when
he looked at Esther's face, the words died on his tongue which he would
have spoken. Those happy eyes were so strong in their wistfulness, so
grave in their happiness, that they forbade the charge of folly or
fancifulness; nay, they were looking at something which the colonel
wished he could himself see, if the sight brought such contentment.
They stopped his mouth. He could not say what he thought to say, and
his own eyes oddly fell before them.

'What does William Dallas know about all this?' he asked.

'Nothing, papa. I don't think he knows it at all.'

'Why did you write about it to him, then?'

'I was sure he would be glad for me, papa. Once, a good while ago, I
asked Pitt what could be the meaning of a verse in the Bible; that
beautiful verse in Numbers; and he could not tell me, though what he
said gave me a great help. So I knew he would remember, and he would be
glad. And I want him to know Jesus too.'

The colonel felt a little twinge of jealousy here; but Esther did not
know, he reflected, that her own father was in equal destitution of
that knowledge. Or was it all visionary that she had been saying, and
his view of religion the right one after all? It _must_ be the right
one. Yet his religion had never given his face the expression that
shone in Esther's now. It almost hurt him.

'And now you have comfort?' he said, after a moment's pause.

'Yes, papa. More than comfort.'

'Because you think that God looks upon you with favour.'

'Because I love Him, papa. I know Him and I love Him. And I know He
loves me, and will do everything for me.'

'How do you know it?' asked the colonel almost harshly. 'That sounds to
me rather presuming. You may hope it; but how can you know it?'

'He has made me know it, papa. And He has said it in the Bible. I just
believe what He says.'

Colonel Gainsborough gave up the argument. Before Esther's face of
quiet confidence he felt himself baffled. If she were wrong, he could
not prove her wrong. Uneasy and worsted, he gave up the discussion; but
thought he would not have any more letters go to William Dallas.

And as the days went on, he watched furtively his daughter. He had not
been mistaken in his observations that evening. A steadfastness of
sweet happiness was about her, beautifying and elevating all she did
and all she was. Fair quiet on the brow, loving gladness on the lips,
and hands of ready ministry. She had always been a dutiful child,
faithful in her ministering; but now the service was not of duty, but
of love, and gracious accordingly, as the service of duty can never be.
The colonel watched, and saw something of the difference, without being
able, however, to come at a satisfactory understanding of it. He saw
how, under this influence of love and gladness, his child was becoming
the rarest of servants to him; and more still, how under it she was
developing into a most exquisite personal beauty. He watched her, as if
by watching he might catch something of the secret mental charm by
virtue of which these changes were wrought. But 'the secret of the Lord
is with them that fear Him;' and it cannot be communicated from one to
another.

As has been mentioned, Pitt's letters after he got to work at Oxford
became much fewer and scantier. It was only at very rare intervals that
one came to Colonel Gainsborough; and Esther made no proposition of
writing to England again. On that subject the colonel ceased to take
any thought. It was otherwise with Pitt's family.

Mrs. Dallas sat one evening pondering over the last letter received
from her son. It was early autumn; a little fire burning in the
chimney, towards which the master of the house stretched out his legs,
lying very much at his ease in an old-fashioned chaise lounge, and
turning over an English newspaper. His attitude bespoke the comfortable
ease and carelessness of his mind, on which certainly nothing lay
heavy. His wife was in all things a contrast. Her handsome, stately
figure was yielding at the moment to no blandishments of comfort or
luxury; she sat upright, with Pitt's letter in her hand, and on her
brow there was an expression of troubled consideration.

'Husband,' she said at length, 'do you notice how Pitt speaks of the
colonel and his daughter?'

'No,' came slowly and indifferently from the lips of Mr. Dallas, as he
turned the pages of his newspaper.

'Don't you notice how he asks after them in every letter, and wants me
to go and see them?'

'Natural enough. Pitt is thinking of home, and he thinks of them;--part
of the picture.'

'That boy don't forget!'

'Give him time,' suggested Mr. Dallas, with a careless yawn.

'He has had some time,--a year and a half, and in Europe; and
distractions enough. But don't you know Pitt? He sticks to a thing even
closer than you do.'

'If he cares enough about it.'

'That's what troubles me, Hildebrand. I am afraid he does care. If he
comes home next summer and finds that girl-- Do you know how she is
growing up?'

'That is the worst of children,' said Mr. Dallas, in the same lazy way;
'they will grow up.'

'By next summer she will be--well, I don't know how old, but quite old
enough to take the fancy of a boy like Pitt.'

'I know Pitt's age. He will be twenty-two. Old enough to know better.
He isn't such a fool.'

'Such a fool as what?' asked Mrs. Dallas sharply. 'That girl is going
to be handsome enough to take any man's fancy, and hold it too. She is
uncommonly striking. Don't you see it?'

'Humph! yes, I see it.'

'Hildebrand, I do not want him to marry the daughter of a dissenting
colonel, with not money enough to dress her.'

'I do not mean he shall.'

'Then think how you are going to prevent it. Next summer, I warn you,
it may be too late.'

In consequence, perhaps, of this conversation, though it is by no means
certain that Mr. Dallas needed its suggestions, he strolled over after
tea to Colonel Gainsborough's. The colonel was in his usual place and
position; Esther sitting at the table with her books. Mr. Dallas eyed
her as she rose to receive him, noticed the gracious, quiet manner, the
fair and noble face, the easy movement and fine bearing; and turned to
her father with a strengthened purpose to do what he had come to do. He
had to wait a while. He told the news of Pitt's last letter; intimated
that he meant to keep him in England till his studies were all ended;
and then went into a discussion of politics, deep and dry. When Esther
at last left the room, he made a sudden break in the discussion.

'Colonel, what are you going to do with that girl of yours?'

'What am I going to do with her?' repeated the colonel, a little drily.

'Yes. Forgive me; I have known her all her life, you know, nearly. I am
concerned about Esther.'

'In what way?'

'Well, don't take it ill of me; but I do not like to see her growing up
so without any advantages. She is such a beautiful creature.'

Colonel Gainsborough was silent.

'I take the interest of a friend,' Mr. Dallas went on. 'I have a right
to so much. I have watched her growing up. She will be something
uncommon, you know. She ought really to have everything that can help
to make humanity perfect.'

'What would you have me do?' the colonel asked, half conscious and half
impatient.

'I would give her all the advantages that a girl of her birth and
breeding would have in the old country.'

'How is that possible, at Seaforth?'

'It is not possible at Seaforth. There is nothing here. But elsewhere
it is possible.'

'I shall never leave Seaforth,' said the colonel doggedly.

'But for Esther's sake? Why, she ought to be at school now, colonel.'

'I shall never quit Seaforth,' the other repeated. 'I do not expect to
live long anywhere; when I die, I will lie by my wife's side, here.'

'You are not failing in health,' Mr. Dallas persisted. 'You are
improving, colonel; every time I come to see you I am convinced of it.
We shall have you a long while among us yet; you may depend on it.'

'I have no particular reason to wish you may be right. And I see myself
no signs that you are.'

'You have your daughter to live for.'

'She will be taken care of. I have little fear.'

There was a somewhat grim set of Mr. Dallas's mouth in answer to this
speech; his words however were 'smoother than butter.'

'You need have no fear,' he said. 'Miss Gainsborough, with her birth
and beauty and breeding, will do--what you must wish her to do,--marry
some one well able to take care of her; but--you are not doing her
justice, colonel, in not giving her the education that should go with
her birth and breeding. I speak as a friend; I trust you will not take
it ill of me.'

'I cannot send her to England.'

'You do not need. There are excellent institutions of learning in this
country now.'

'I do not know where.'

'My wife can tell you. She has some knowledge of such things, through
friends who have daughters at school. She could tell you of several
good schools for girls.'

'Where are they?'

'I believe in or near New York.'

'I do not wish to leave Seaforth,' said the colonel gloomily.

'And I am sure we do not wish to have you leave it,' said the other,
rising. 'It would be a terrible loss to us. Perhaps, after all, I have
been officious; and you are giving Esther an education more than equal
to what she could get at school.'

'I cannot quit Seaforth,' the colonel repeated. 'All that I care for in
the world lies here. When I have done with the world, I wish to lie
here too; and till then I will wait.'

Mr. Dallas took his leave; and the set of his mouth was grim again as
he walked home.




CHAPTER XVII.

_MOVING_.


Mr. Dallas's visits became frequent. He talked of a great variety of
things, but never failed to bring the colonel's mind to the subject of
Esther's want of education. Indirectly or directly, somehow, he
presented to the colonel's mind that one idea: that his daughter was
going without the advantages she needed and ought to have. It was true,
and the colonel could not easily dispose of the thought which his
friend so persistently held up before him. Waters wear away stones, as
we know to a proverb; and so it befell in this case, and Mr. Dallas
knew it must. The colonel began to grow uneasy. He often reasserted
that he would never leave Seaforth; he began to think about it,
nevertheless.

'What should I do with this place?' he asked one evening when the
subject was up.

'What do you wish to do with it?'

'I wish to live in it as long as I live anywhere,' said the colonel,
sighing; 'but you say--and perhaps you are right--that I ought to be
somewhere else for my child's sake. In that case, what could I do with
my place here?'

'I ask again, what do you wish to do with it? Would you let it?'

'No,' said the colonel, sighing again; 'if I go I must sell. My means
will not allow me to do otherwise.'

'I will buy it of you, if you wish to sell.'

'You! What would you do with the property?'

'Keep it for you, against a time when you may wish to buy it back. But
indeed it would come very conveniently for me. I should like to have
it, for my own purposes. I will give you its utmost value.'

The colonel pondered, not glad, perhaps, to have difficulties cleared
out of his way. Mr. Dallas waited, too keen to press his point unduly.

'I should have to go and reconnoitre,' the former said presently. 'I
must not give up one home till I have another ready. I never thought to
leave Seaforth. Where do you say this place is that Mrs. Dallas
recommends?'

'In New York. The school is said to be particularly good and thorough,
and conducted by an English lady; which would be a recommendation to
me, as I suppose it is to you.'

'I should have to find a house in the neighbourhood,' said the colonel,
musing.

Mr. Dallas said no more, and waited.

'I must go and see what I can find,' the colonel repeated. 'Perhaps
Mrs. Dallas will be so good as to give me the address of the school in
question.'

Mrs. Dallas did more than that. She gave letters to friends, and
addresses of more than one school teacher: and the end was, Colonel
Gainsborough set off on a search. The search was successful. He was
satisfied with the testimonials he received respecting one of the
institutions and respecting its head; he was directed by some of Mr.
Dallas's business friends to various houses that might suit him for a
residence; and among them made his choice, and even made his bargain,
and came home with the business settled.

Esther had spent the days of his absence in a very doubtful mood, not
knowing whether to be glad or sorry, to hope or to fear. Seaforth was
the only home she had ever known; she did not like the thought of
leaving it; but she knew by this time as well as Mr. Dallas knew that
she needed more advantages of education than Seaforth could give her.
On the whole, she hoped.

The colonel was absent several days. There was no telegraphing in those
times, and so the day of his return could not be notified; but when a
week had passed, Esther began to look for him. It was the first time he
had ever been away from her, and so, of course, it was the first coming
home. Esther felt it deserved some sort of celebration. The stage
arrived towards evening, she knew.

'I think maybe he will be here to-night, Barker,' she said. 'What is
there we could have for supper that papa likes particularly?'

'Indeed, Miss Esther, the colonel favours nothing more than another, as
I know. His toast and tea, that is all he cares for nights, mostly.'

'Toast and tea!' said Esther disparagingly.

'It's the most he cares for, as I know,' the housekeeper repeated.
'There's them quails Mr. Dallas sent over; they's nice and fat, and to
be sure quails had ought to be eaten immediate. I can roast two or
three of 'em, if you're pleased to order it; but the colonel, it's my
opinion he won't care what you have. The gentlemen learns it so in the
army, I'm thinkin'. The colonel never did give himself no care about
what he had for dinner, nor for no other time.'

Esther knew that; however, she ordered the quails, and watched eagerly
for her father. He came, too, that same evening. But the quails hardly
got their deserts, nor Esther neither, for that matter. The colonel
seemed to be unregardful of the one as much as of the other. He gave
his child a sufficiently kind greeting, indeed, when he first came in;
but then he took his usual seat on the sofa, without his usual book,
and sat as if lost in thought. Tea was served immediately, and I
suppose the colonel had had a thin dinner, for he consumed a quail and
a half; yet satisfactory as this was in itself, Esther could not see
that her father knew what he was eating. And after tea he still
neglected his book, and sat brooding, with his head leaning on his
hand. He had not said one word to his daughter concerning the success
or non-success of his mission; and eager as she was, it was not in
accordance with the way she had been brought up that she should
question him. She asked him nothing further than about his own health
and condition, and the length and character of his journey; which
questions were shortly disposed of, and then the colonel sat there with
his head in his hand, doing nothing that he was wont to do. Esther
feared something was troubling him, and could not bear to leave him to
himself. She came near softly, and very softly let her finger-tips
touch her father's brow and temples, and stroke back the hair from
them. She ventured no more.

Perhaps Colonel Gainsborough could not bear so much. Perhaps he was
reminded of the only other fingers which had had a right since his
boyhood to touch him so. Yet he would not repel the gentle hand, and to
avoid doing that he did another very uncommon thing; he drew Esther
down into his arms and put her on his knee, leaning his head against
her shoulder. It was exceeding pleasant to the girl, as a touch of
sympathy and confidence; however, for that night the confidence went no
further; the colonel said nothing at all. He was in truth overcome with
the sadness of leaving his home and his habits and the place of his
wife's grave. As he re-entered Seaforth and entered his house, this
sadness had come over him; he could not shake it off; indeed, he did
not try; he gave him self up to it, and forgot Esther, or rather forgot
what he owed her. And Esther, who had done what she could, sat still on
her father's knee till she was weary, and wished he would release her.
Yet perhaps, she thought, it was a pleasure to him to have her there,
and she would not move or speak. So they remained until it was past
Esther's bedtime.

'I think I will go now, papa,' she said. 'It is getting late.'

He kissed her and let her go.

But next morning the colonel was himself again,--himself as if he had
never been away, only he had his news to tell; and he told it in
orderly business fashion.

'I have taken a house, Esther,' he said; 'and now I wish to get moved
as soon as possible. You must tell Barker, and help her.'

'Certainly, papa. Whereabouts is the house you have taken?'

'On York Island. It is about a mile out of the city, on the bank of the
river; a very pretty situation.'

'Which river, papa?'

'The Hudson.'

'And am I to go to school?'

'Of course. That is the purpose of the movement. You are to enter Miss
Fairbairn's school in New York. It is the best there, by all I can
gather.'

'Thank you, papa. Then it is not near our new house?'

'No. You will have to drive there and back. I have made arrangements
for that.'

'Won't that cost a good deal, papa?'

'Not so much as to live in the city would cost. And we are accustomed
to the country; it will be pleasanter.'

'Oh, much pleasanter! What will be done with this house, papa?'

'Mr. Dallas takes it and the place off my hands.'

Esther did not like that; why, she could not possibly have told. For,
to be sure, what could be better?

'Will he buy it?'

'Yes, he buys it.'

Again a little pause. Then--'What will become of the furniture and
everything, papa?'

'That must be packed to go. The house I have taken is empty. We shall
want all we have got.'

Esther's eye went round the room. Everything to be packed! She stood
like a young general, surveying her battlefield.

'Then, papa, you never mean to come back to Seaforth again?'

The colonel sighed. 'Yes, when I die, Esther. I wish my bones to be
laid here.'

He said no more. Having made his communications, he took up his book;
his manner evidently saying to Esther that in what came next he had no
particular share. But could it be that he was leaving it all to her
inexperience? Was it to be her work, and depend on her wisdom?

'Papa, you said we were to move soon; do you wish me to arrange with
Barker about it?'

'Yes, my dear, yes; tell her, and arrange with her. I wish to make the
change as early as possible, before the weather becomes unfavourable;
and I wish you to get to school immediately. It cannot be too soon,
tell Barker.'

So he was going to leave it all to her! On ordinary occasions he was
wont to consider Esther a child still; now it was convenient to suppose
her a woman. He did not put it so to himself; it is some men's way.
Esther went slowly to the kitchen, and informed Barker of what was
before her.

'An' it's mor'n the middle of October,' was the housekeeper's comment.

'That's very good time,' said Esther.

'You're right, Miss Esther, and so it is, if we was all ready this
minute. All ain't done when you are moved, Miss Esther; there's the
other house to settle; and it'll take a good bit o' work before we get
so far as to that.'

'Papa wants us to be as quick as we can.'

'We'll be as quick as two pair o' hands is able for, I'll warrant; but
that ain't as if we was a dozen. There's every indiwiddle thing to put
up, Miss Esther, from our chairs to our beds; and books, and china, and
all  I'll go at the china fust of all, and to-day.'

'And what can I do, Barker?'

'I don' know, Miss Esther. You hain't no experience; and experience is
somethin' you can't buy in the shops--even if there was any shops here
to speak of. But Christopher and me, we'll manage it, I'll warrant. The
colonel's quite right. This ain't no place for you no longer. We'll see
and get moved as quick as we can, Miss Esther.'

Without experience, however, it was found that Esther's share of the
next weeks of work was a very important one. She packed up the clothes
and the books; and she did it 'real uncommon,' the housekeeper said;
but that was the least part. She kept her father comfortable, letting
none of the confusion and as little as possible of the dust come into
the room where he was. She stood in the gap when Barker was in the
thick of some job, and herself prepared her father's soup or got his
tea. Thoughtful, quiet, diligent, her head, young as it was, proved
often a very useful help to Barker's experience; and something about
her smooth composure was a stay to the tired nerves of her
subordinates. Though Christopher Bounder really had no nerves, yet he
felt the influence I speak of.

'Ain't our Miss Esther growed to be a stunner, though!' he remarked
more than once.

'I'm sure I don't rightly know what you mean, Christopher,' his sister
answered.

'Well, I tell you she's an uncommon handsome young lady, Sarah. An' she
has the real way with her; the real thing, she has.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'I'll wager a cucumber you can tell,' said Christopher, shutting up his
eyes slyly. 'There ain't no flesh and blood round in these parts like
that;--no mor'n a cabbage ain't like a camellia. An' _that_ don't tell
it. She's that dainty and sweet as a camellia never was--not as ever I
see; and she has that fine, soft way with her, that is like the touch
of a feather, and yet ain't soft neither if you come to go agin it. I
tell you what, Sarah, that shows blood, that does,' concluded
Christopher with a competent air. 'Our young lady, she's the real
thing. You and me, now, we couldn't be like that if we was to die for
it. That's blood, that is.'

'I don't know,' said the housekeeper. 'She _is_ sweet, uncommon; and
she is gentle enough, and she has a will of her own, too; but I don't
know--she didn't use for to be just so.'

''Cause she's growin' up to years,' said the gardener. 'La, Sally,
folks is like vegetables, uncommon; you must let 'em drop their rough
leaves, before you can see what they're goin' to be.'

'There warn't never no rough leaves nor rough anything about Miss
Esther. I can't say as I knows what you mean, Christopher.'

'A woman needn't to know everything,' responded her brother with
superiority; 'and the natural world, to be sure, ain't your department,
Sarah. You're good for a great deal where you be.'




CHAPTER XVIII.

_A NEIGHBOUR_.


The packing and sending off of boxes was ended at last; and the bare,
empty, echoing, forlorn house seemed of itself to eject its
inhabitants. When it came to that, everybody was ready to go. Mrs.
Barker lamented that she could not go on before the rest of the family,
to prepare the place a bit for them; but that was impossible; they must
all go together.

It was the middle of November when at last the family made their
flitting. They had no dear friends to leave, and nothing particular to
regret, except that one low mound in the churchyard; yet Esther felt
sober as they drove away. The only tangible reason for this on which
her thoughts could fix, was the fact that she was going away from the
place where Pitt Dallas was at home, and to which he would come when he
returned from England. She would then be afar off. Yet there would be
nothing to hinder his coming to see them in their new home; so the
feeling did not seem well justified. Besides that, Esther also had a
somewhat vague sense that she was leaving the domain of childhood and
entering upon the work and sphere of a woman. She was just going to
school! But perhaps the time of confusion she had been passing through
might have revealed to her that she had already a woman's life-work on
her hands. And the confusion was not over, and the work only begun. She
had perhaps a dim sense of this. However, she was young; and the
soberness was certainly mixed with gladness. For was she not going to
school, and so, on the way to do something of the work Pitt was doing,
in mental furnishing and improvement? I think, gladness had the upper
hand.

It took two days of stage travelling to get them to their destination.
They were days full of interest and novelty for Esther; eager
anticipation and hope; but the end of the second day found her well
tired. Indeed, it was the case with them all. Mrs. Barker had lamented
that she and Christopher were not allowed to go off some time before
'the family,' so as to have things in a certain degree of readiness for
them; the colonel had said it was impossible: they could not be spared
from Seaforth until the last minute. And now here they were 'all in a
heap,' as Mrs Barker expressed it, 'to be tumbled into the house at
once.' She begged that the colonel would stay the night over in the
city, and give her at least a few hours to prepare for him. The colonel
would not hear of it, however, but at once procured vehicles to take
the whole party and their boxes out to the place that was to be their
new home. It was then already evening; the short November day had
closed in.

'He's that simple,' Mrs. Barker confided to her brother, 'he expects to
find a fire made and a room ready for him! It's like all the gentlemen.
They never takes no a   'Thinks the furniture 'll hop out o' the boxes,
like, 'count of how things is done, if it ain't _their_ things.' and
stan' round,' echoed Christopher. 'I'm afeard they won't be so
obligin'.'

The drive was somewhat slower in the dark than it would have been
otherwise, and the stars were out and looking down brilliantly upon the
little party as they finally dismounted at their door. The shadow of
the house rising before them, a cool air from the river, the sparkling
stars above, the vague darkness around; Esther never forgot that
home-coming.

They had stopped at a neighbour's house to get the key; and now, the
front door being unlocked, made their way in, one after another. Esther
was confronted first by a great packing-case in the narrow hall, which
blocked up the way. Going carefully round this, which there was just
room to do, she stumbled over a smaller box on the floor.

'Oh, papa, take care!' she cried to her father, who was following her;
'the house is all full of things, and it is so dark. Oh, Barker, can't
you open the back door and let in a gleam of light?'

This was done, and also in due time a lantern was brought upon the
scene. It revealed a state of things almost as hopeless as the world
appeared to Noah's dove the first time she was sent out of the ark. If
there was rest for the soles of their feet, it was all that could be
said. There was no promise of a place to sit down; and as for _lying_
down and getting their natural rest, the idea was Utopian.

'Now look here,' said a voice suddenly out of the darkness outside:
'you're all fagged out, ain't ye? and there ain't nothin' on arth ye
kin du to-night; there's no use o' your tryin'. Jes' come over to my
house and hev some supper. Ye must want it bad. Ben travellin' all day,
ain't ye? Jes' come over to me; I've got some hot supper for ye. Lands
sakes! ye kin't do nothin' here to-night. It _is_ a kind of a turn-up,
ain't it? La, a movin's wuss'n a weddin', for puttin' everybody out.'

The voice, sounding at first from the outside, had been gradually
drawing nearer and nearer, till with the last words the speaker also
entered the back room, where Esther and her father were standing. They
were standing in the midst of packing-cases, of every size and shape,
between which the shadows lay dark, while the faint lantern light just
served to show the rough edges and angles of the boxes and the hopeless
condition of things generally. It served also now to let the new-comer
be dimly seen. Esther and her father, looking towards the door,
perceived a stout little figure, with her two hands rolled up in her
shawl, head bare, and with hair in neat order, for it glanced in the
lantern shine as only smooth things can. The features of the face were
not discernible.

'It's the cunnel himself, ain't it?' she said. 'They said he was a tall
man, and I see _this_ is a tall un. Is it the cunnel himself? I
couldn't somehow make out the name--I never kin; and I kin't _see_
nothin', as the light is.'

'At your service, madam,' said the person addressed. 'Colonel
Gainsborough.'

The visitor dropped a little dot of a curtsey, which seemed to Esther
inexpressibly funny, and went on.

'Beg pardon for not knowin'. Wall, cunnel, I'm sure you're tired and
hungry,--you and your darter, is it?--and I've got a hot supper for you
over to my house. I allays think there's nothin' like hevin' things
hot,--cold comfort ain't no comfort, for me,--and I've got everythin'
hot for you--hot and nice; and now, will you come over and eat it? You
see, you kin't do nothin' here to-night. I don't see how ever you're to
sleep, in this world; there ain't nothin' here but the floor and the
boxes, and if you'll take beds with me, I'm sure you're welcome.'

'I thank you, madam; you are very kind; but I do not think we need
trouble you,' the colonel said, with civil formality. Esther was
amused, but also a little eager that her father should accept the
invitation. What else would become of him? she thought. The prospect
was desolation. Truly they had some cooked provisions; but that was
only cold comfort, as their visitor had said; doubtful if the term
could be applied at all.

'Now you'd jes' best come right over!' the fluent but kind voice said
persuasively. 'It's all spilin' to be eat. An' what kin you do? There
ain't no fire here to warm you, and it'll take a bit of a while before
you kin get one; an' you're all tired out. Jes' come over and hev a cup
o' hot coffee, and get heartened up a bit, and then you'll know what to
do next. I allays think, one thing at a time.'

'Papa,' said Esther a little timidly, 'hadn't you better do it? There's
nothing but confusion here; it will be a long time before we can get
you even a cup of tea.'

'It's all ready,' their visitor went on,--'ready and spilin'; an' I got
it for you o' purpose. Now don't stan' thinkin' about it, but jes' come
right over; I'll be as glad to hev you as if you was new apples.'

'How far is it, ma'am?' Esther asked.

'Jes' two steps--down the other side o' the field; it's the very next
house to your'n. Oh, I've lived there a matter o' ten year; and I was
main glad to hear there was somebody comin' in here agin; it's so sort
o' lonesome to see the winders allays shut up; and your light looks
real cheery, if it is only a lantern light. I knowed when you was a
comin', and says I, they'll be real tired out when they gits there,
says I; and I'll hev a hot supper ready for 'em, it's all I kin du; but
I'm sure, if you'll sleep, you're welcome.'

'If you please, sir,' put in Mrs. Barker, 'it would be the most
advisedest thing you could do; for there ain't no prospect here, and if
you and Miss Esther was away for a bit, mebbe me and Christopher would
come to see daylight after a while; which it is what I don't do at
present.'

The good woman's voice sounded so thoroughly perturbed, and expressed
such an undoubted earnest desire, that the colonel, contrary to all his
traditions, gave in. He and Esther followed their new friend, ''cross
the field,' as she said, but they hardly knew where, till the light and
warmth of her hospitable house received them.

How strange it was! The short walk in the starlight; then the homely
hospitable room, with its spread table--the pumpkin pie, and the
sausage, and the pickles, and the cheese, and the cake! The very coarse
tablecloth; the little two-pronged forks, and knives which might have
been cut out of sheet iron, and singular ware which did service for
china. The extreme homeliness of it all would almost have hindered
Esther from eating, though she was very hungry. But there was good
bread and butter; and coffee that was hot, and not bad otherwise,
although assuredly it never saw the land of Arabia; certainly it seemed
very good to Esther that night, even taken from a pewter spoon. And the
tablecloth was clean, and everything upon it. So, with doubtful
hesitation at first, Esther found the supper good, and learned her
first lesson in the broadness of humanity and the wide variety in the
ways of human life.

Their hostess, seen by the light of her dip candles, was in perfect
harmony with her entertainment. A round little woman, very neat, and
terribly plain, with a full oval face, which had no other
characteristic of beauty; insignificant features, and a pale skin,
covered with freckles. Out of this face, however, looked a pair of
small, shrewd, and kind grey eyes; their owner could be no fool.

Esther was surprised to see that her father, who was, to be sure, an
old campaigner, made a very fair supper.

'In the darkness I could hardly see where we went,' he remarked. 'But I
suppose your husband is the owner of the neat gardens I observed
formerly near our house?'

'Wall, he would be if he was alive,' was the answer, 'but that's what
he hain't ben this five year.'

'Then, do _you_ manage them?'

'Wall, cunnel, I manage 'em better'n he did. Mr. Blumenfeld was an easy
kind o' man; easy to live with, tu; but when you hev other folks to see
to, it don't du no ways to let 'em hev their own head too much. An'
that's what he did. He was a fust-rate gardener and no mistake; he
knowed his business; but the thing he _didn't_ know was folks. So they
cheated him. La, folks ain't like flowers, not 'zactly; or if they be,
as he used to say, there's thorns among 'em now and then and a weed or
two!'

'Blumenfeld?' repeated the colonel. 'You are not German, surely?'

'Wall, I guess I ain't,' said the little woman, 'Not if I know myself.
I ain't sayin' nothin' agin what _he_ was; but la, there's different
naturs in the world, and I'm different. Folks doos say, his folks is
great for gittin' along; but _he_ warn't; that's all I hev to say. He
learned me the garden work, though; that much he did.'

'And now you manage the business?'

'I do so. Won't you hev another cup, cunnel?'

They went back to their disordered house, resisting all further offers
of hospitality. And in time, beds were got out and prepared; how,
Esther could hardly remember afterwards, the confusion was so great;
but it was done, and she lost every other feeling in the joy of repose.




CHAPTER XIX.

_HAPPY PEOPLE_.


At Esther's age nature does her work of recuperation well and fast. It
was early yet, and the dawn just breaking into day, when she woke; and,
calling to mind her purposes formed last night, she immediately got up.
The business of the toilet performed as speedily as possible, she stole
down-stairs and roused Mrs. Barker; and while waiting for her to be
ready, went to the back door and opened it. A fresh cool air blew in
her face; clouds were chasing over the sky before a brisk wind, and
below her rolled the broad Hudson, its surface all in commotion; while
the early light lay bright on the pretty Jersey shore. Esther stood in
a spell of pleasure. This was a change indeed from her Seaforth view,
where the eye could go little further than the garden and the road.
Here was a new scene opening, and a new chapter in life beginning;
Esther's heart swelled. There was a glad mental impulse towards growth
and developement, which readily connected itself with this outward
change, and with this outward stir also. The movement of wind and water
met a movement of the animal spirits, which consorted well with it; the
cool air breathed vigour into her resolves; she turned to Mrs. Barker
with a very bright face.

'Oh, Barker, how lovely it is!'

'If you please, which is it, Miss Esther?'

'Look at that beautiful river. And the light. And the air, Barker. It
is delicious!'

'I can't see it, mum. All I can see is that there ain't an indiwiddle
cheer standin' on its own legs in all the house; and whatever'll the
colonel do when he comes down? and what to begin at first, I'm sure I
don't know.'

'We'll arrange all that. Where is Christopher? We want him to open the
boxes. We'll get one room in some sort of order first, and then papa
can stay in it. Where is Christopher?'

They had to wait a few minutes for Christopher, and meanwhile Esther
took a rapid review of the rooms; decided which should be the
dining-room, and which the one where her father should have his sofa
and all his belongings. Then she surveyed the packing-cases, to be
certain which was which, and what ought to be opened first; examining
her ground with the eye of a young general. Then, when the lagging Mr.
Bounder made his appearance, there was a systematic course of action
entered upon, in which packing-cases were knocked apart and cleared
away; chairs, and a table or two, were released from durance and set on
their legs; a rug was found and spread down before the fireplace; the
colonel's sofa was got at, and unboxed, and brought into position; and
finally a fire was made. Esther stood still to take a moment's
complacent review of her morning's work.

'It looks quite comfortable,' she said, 'now the fire is burning up. We
have done pretty well, Barker, for a beginning?'

'Never see a better two hours' job,' said Christopher. ''Tain't much
more. That's Miss Esther. Sarah there, she wouldn't ha' knowed which
was her head and which was her heels, and other things according, if
she hadn't another head to help her. What o'clock is it now, Miss
Esther?'

'It is some time after eight. Papa may be down any minute. Now, Barker,
the next thing is breakfast.'

'Breakfast, Miss Esther?' said the housekeeper, standing still to look
at her.

'Yes. Aren't you hungry? I think we must all want it.'

'And how are we goin' to get it? The kitchen's all cluttered full o'
boxes and baggage and that; and I don' know where an indiwiddle thing
is, this minute.'

'I saw the tea-kettle down-stairs.'

'Yes 'm, but that's the sole solitary article. I don' know where
there's a pan, nor a gridiron; and there's no fire, Miss Esther; and
it'll take patience to get that grate agoin'.'

The housekeeper, usually so efficient, now looked helpless. It was
true, the system by means of which so much had been done that morning,
had proceeded from Esther's head solely. She was not daunted now.

'I know the barrel in which the cooking things were packed stands
there; in the hall, I think. Christopher, will you unpack it? But
first, fill the kettle and bring it here.'

'_Here_, Miss Esther?' cried the housekeeper.

'Yes; it will soon boil here. And, Barker, the hampers with the china
are in the other room; if you will unpack them, I think you can find
the tea-pot and some cups.'

'They'll all want washin', Miss Esther.'

'Very well; we shall have warm water here by that time. And then I can
give papa his tea and toast, and boil some eggs, and that will do very
well; everything else we want is in the basket, and plenty, as we did
not eat it last night.'

It was all done,--it took time, to be sure, but it was done; and when
Colonel Gainsborough came down, hesitating and somewhat forlorn, he
found a fire burning in the grate, Mrs. Barker watching over a skillet
in one corner, and Esther over a tea-kettle in the other. The room was
filled with the morning light, which certainly showed the bare floor
and the packing-boxes standing around; but also shone upon an unpacked
table, cups, plates, bread and butter. Esther had thought it was very
comfortable. Her father seemed not to take that view.

'What are you doing there?' he said. 'Is this to be the kitchen?'

'Only for this morning, papa,' said Esther cheerfully. 'This is just
the kettle for your tea, and Barker is boiling an egg for you; at least
she will as soon as the water boils.'

'All this should have been done elsewhere, my dear.'

'It was not possible, papa. The kitchen is absolutely full of boxes--it
will take a while to clear it; and I wanted first to get a corner for
you to be comfortable in. We will get things in order as fast as we
can. Now the kettle boils, Barker, don't it? You may put in the eggs.'

'My dear, I do not think this is the place for the sofa.'

'Oh no, papa, I do not mean it; the room looking towards the water is
the prettiest, and will be the pleasantest; that will be the
sitting-room, I think; but we could only do one thing at a time. Now,
you shall have your tea and toast in two minutes.'

'There is no doing anything well without system,' said the colonel.
'Arrange your work always, and then take it in order, the first thing
first, and so on. Now I should have said, the _first_ thing here was
the kitchen fire.'

Esther knew it was not, and that her doings had been with admirable
system; she was a little disappointed that they met with no
recognition. She had counted upon her father's being pleased, and even
a little surprised that so much had been done. Silently she made his
tea, and toasted him with much difficulty a slice of bread. Mrs. Barker
disappeared with her skillet. But the colonel was in the state of mind
that comes over many ease-loving men when their ease is temporarily
disturbed.

'How long is it going to take two people to get these things unboxed
and in their places?' he inquired, as his eye roved disconsolately over
the room and its packing-cases. 'This is pretty uncomfortable!'

'_Three_ people, papa. I shall do the very best I can. You would like
the sitting-room put in order first, where your sofa and you can be
quiet?'

'You are going to school.'

'Oh, papa! but I must see to the house first. Barker cannot get along
without me.'

'It is her business,' said the colonel. 'You are going to school.'

'But, papa, please, let me wait a few days. After I once begin to go to
school I shall be so busy with study.'

'Time you were. That's what we are come here for. The season is late
now.'

'But your comfort, and the house, papa?'

'My comfort must take its chance. I wish you to go to Miss Fairbairn on
Monday. Then Barker and Christopher can take the house between them.'

There was no gainsaying her father when once an order was given, Esther
knew; and she was terribly disappointed. Her heart was quite set on
this business of righting and arranging the new home; nobody could do
it as it should be done, she knew, except by her order; and her own
hand longed to be in the work. A sudden cloud came over the brightness
of her spirit. She had been very bright through all the strain and rush
of the morning; now she suddenly felt tired and dispirited.

'What is Christopher doing?'

'Papa, I do not know; he has been opening boxes.'

'Let him put the kitchen in order.'

'Yes, papa.' Esther knew it was impossible, however.

'And let Barker get the rooms up-stairs arranged.'

'Papa, don't you want your sitting-room prepared first?--just so that
you may have a corner of comfort?'

'I do not expect to see comfort, my dear, for many a day--to judge by
what I have around me.'

Esther swallowed a choking feeling in her throat, commanded back some
tears which had a mind to force their way, and presided over the rest
of the meal with a manner of sweet womanly dignity, which had a lovely
unconscious charm. The colonel did even become a little conscious of it.

'You are doing the best you know, my dear,' he condescended kindly. 'I
do not grudge any loss of comfort for your sake.'

'Papa, I think you shall not lose any,' Esther said eagerly; but then
she confined her energies to doing. And with nerves all strung up
again, she went after breakfast at the work of bringing order out of
disorder.

'The first thing for you to do, Barker,' she said, 'is to get papa's
sleeping-room comfortable. He will have the one looking to the west, I
think; that is the prettiest. The blue carpet, that was on his room at
Seaforth, will just do. Christopher will undo the roll of carpet for
you.'

'Miss Esther, I can't do nothing till I get the kitchen free. There'll
be the dinner.'

'Christopher will manage the kitchen.'

'He can't, mum. He don't know one thing that's to be done, no more'n
one of his spades. It's just not possible, Miss Esther.'

'I will oversee what he does. Trust me. I will not make any bad
mistakes, Barker. You put papa's room in order. He wishes it.'

What the colonel desired had to be done, Barker knew; so with a
wondering look at Esther's sweet, determined face, she gave in. And
that day and the next day, and the third, were days very full of
business, and in which a vast deal was accomplished. The house was
really very pretty, as Esther soon saw; and before Saturday night
closed in, those parts of it at least which the colonel had most to do
with were stroked into order, and afforded him all his wonted ease and
luxury. Esther had worked every hour of those days, to the admiration
of her subordinates; the informing spirit and regulating will of every
step that was taken. She never lost her head, or her patience, or her
sweet quiet; though she was herself as busy as a bee and at the same
time constantly directing the activity of the others. Wise, and
quick-witted, and quick to remember, her presence of mind and readiness
of resource seemed unfailing. So, as I said, before Saturday night
came, an immense deal of work was accomplished, and done in a style
that needed not to be done over again. All which, however, was not
finished without some trace of the strain to which the human instrument
had been put.

The sun had just set, and Esther was standing at the window of her
father's room, looking out to the west. She had been unpacking his
clothes and laying them in the drawers of his bureau and press.

'Miss Esther, you're tired, bad!' said the housekeeper wistfully,
coming up beside her. 'There's all black rings under your eyes; and
your cheeks is pale. You have worked too hard, indeed.'

'Never mind,' said Esther cheerfully; 'that will pass. How pretty it
is, Barker! Look out at that sky.'

'Yes 'm, it's just the colour from that sky that keeps your cheeks from
showin' how white they be. Miss Esther, you've just done too much.'

'Never mind,' said the girl again. 'I wanted to have papa comfortable
before I went to school. I am going to school Monday morning, Barker.
Now I think he'll do very nicely.' She looked round the room, which was
a pattern of neatness and of comfort that was both simple and elegant.
But the housekeeper's face was grave with disapproval and puckered with
lines of care. The wistful expression of anxiety upon it touched Esther.

'Barker,' she said kindly, 'you do not look happy.'

'Me! No, Miss Esther, it is which I do not expect to look.'

'Why not?'

'Mum, things is not accordin' in this world.'

'I think you are mistaken. Do you know who the happy people are?'

'Indeed, Miss Esther, I think they're the blessed ones that has gone
clean away from the earth.'

'Oh no! I mean, people that are happy now and happy here, Barker.'

'I am sure and I don't know, Miss Esther; if it wouldn't be little
children,--which is, them that is too young to know what the world is
like. I do suppose they are happy.'

'Don't you know, the Bible says some other people are happy?'

'The Bible!'

Mrs. Barker stared, open-mouthed, at the face before her. Esther had
sat down by the window, where the glow from the west was upon it, like
a glory round the head of a young saint; and the evening sky was not
more serene, nor reflected more surely a hidden light than did the
beautiful eyes. Mrs. Barker gazed, and could not bring out another word.

'You read your Bible, don't you?'

'Yes 'm, in course; which it isn't very often; but in course I reads
it.'

'Don't you know what it says about happy people?'

'In Paradise,' gasped the housekeeper.

'No, not in Paradise. Listen; let me tell you. "Blessed is the man
whose iniquities are forgiven, whose sins are covered."'

Mrs. Barker met the look in Esther's eyes, and was absolutely dumb.

'Don't you know that?'

'I've heerd it, mum.'

'Well, you understand it?'

'If you please, Miss Esther, I think a body could be that knowed it;
that same, I mean.'

'How can anybody be happy that does _not_ know it?'

'True enough, mum; but how is anybody to know it for sure, Miss Esther?'

'_I_ know it, Barker.'

'_You_, Miss Esther! Yes, mum, that's easy, when you never did nothin'
wrong in your life. 'Tain't the way with the likes o' us.'

'It is not the way with anybody. Nothing but the blood of Christ can
make any one clean. But that will. And don't you see, Barker, _that_ is
being happy?'

There was indeed no dissent in the good woman's eyes, but she said
nothing. Esther presently went on.

'Now I will tell you another word. Listen. "Blessed is the man whose
strength the Lord is." Don't you think so, Barker? Don't you see? He
_can never be weak_.'

'Miss Esther, you do speak beautiful!' came out at last the housekeeper.

'Don't you think that is being happy?'

'It do sound so, mum.'

'I can tell you it feels so, Barker. "Blessed are all they that put
their trust in Him." And that is, they are happy. And I trust in Him;
and I love Him; and I know my sins are forgiven and covered; and my
strength is in Him--all my strength. But that makes me strong.'

She went away with that from the window and the room, leaving the
housekeeper exceedingly confounded; much as if a passing angel's wings
had thrown down a white light upon her brown pathway. And from this
time, it may be said Mrs. Barker regarded her young lady with something
like secret worship. She had always been careful and tender of her
charge; now in spirit she bowed down before her to the ground. For a
while after Esther had left the room she stood very still, like one
upon whom a spell had fallen. She was comparing things; remembering the
look Mrs. Gainsborough had used to wear--sweet, dignified, but
shadowed; then the face that at one time was Esther's face, also sweet
and dignified, but uneasy and troubled and dark; and now--what was her
countenance like? The housekeeper was no poet, nor in any way fanciful;
otherwise she might have likened it to some of the fairest things in
nature; and still the comparison would have fallen short. Sweet as a
white rose; untroubled as the stars; full of hope as the flush of the
morning. Only, in the human creature there was the added element of
_life_, which in all these dead things was wanting. Mrs. Barker
probably thought of none of these images for her young mistress;
nevertheless, the truth that is in them came down upon her very heart;
and from that time she was Esther's devoted slave. There was no open
demonstration of feeling; but Esther's wishes were laws to her, and
Esther's welfare lay nearest her heart of all things in the world.




CHAPTER XX.

_SCHOOL_.


After much consideration the colonel had determined that Esther should
be a sort of half boarder at Miss Fairbairn's school; that is, she
should stay there from Monday morning to Saturday night. Esther
combated this determination as far as she dared.

'Papa, will not that make me a great deal more expense to you than I
need be?'

'Not much difference, my dear, as to that. If you came back every night
I should have to keep a horse; now that will not be necessary, and
Christopher will have more time to attend to other things.'

'But, papa, it will leave you all the week alone!'

'That must be, my child. I must be alone all the days, at any rate.'

'Papa, you will miss me at tea, and in the evenings.'

'I must bear that.'

It troubles me, papa.'

'And that you must bear. My dear, I do not grudge the price I pay. See
you only that I get what I pay for.'

'Yes, papa,' Esther said meekly. She could go no further.

Miss Fairbairn was a tall woman, but not imposing either in manner or
looks. Her face was sensible, with a mixture of the sweet and the
practical which was at least peculiar; and the same mixture was in her
manner. This was calm and gentle in the utmost degree; also cool and
self-possessed equally; and it gave Esther the impression of one who
always knew her own mind and was accustomed to make it the rule for all
around her. A long talk with this lady was the introduction to Esther's
school experience. It was a very varied talk; it roved over a great
many fields and took looks into others; it was not inquisitive or
prying, and yet Esther felt as if her interlocutor were probing her
through and through, and finding out all she knew and all she did not
know. In the latter category, it seemed to Esther, lay almost
everything she ought to have known. Perhaps Miss Fairbairn did not
think so; at any rate her face expressed no disappointment and no
disapproval.

'In what way have you carried on your study of history, my dear?' she
finally asked.

'I hardly can tell; in a box of coins, I believe,' Esther answered.

'Ah? I think I will get me a box of coins.'

Which meant, Esther could not tell what. She found herself at last, to
her surprise, put with the highest classes in the English branches and
in Latin.

Her work was immediately delightful. Esther was so buried in it that
she gave little thought or care to anything else, and did not know or
ask what place she took in the esteem of her companions or of her
teachers. As the reader may be more curious, one little occurrence that
happened that week shall serve to illustrate her position; did
illustrate it, in the consciousness of all the school family, only not
of Esther herself.

It was at dinner one day. There was a long table set, which reached
nearly from the front of the house to the back, through two rooms,
leaving just comfortable space for the servants to move about around
it. Dinner was half through. Miss Fairbairn was speaking of something
in the newspaper of that morning which had interested her, and she
thought would interest the girls.

'I will read it to you,' she said. 'Miss Gainsborough, may I ask you to
do me a favour? Go and fetch me the paper, my dear; it lies on my table
in the schoolroom; the paper, and the book that is with it.'

There went a covert smile round the room, which Esther did not see;
indeed, it was too covert to be plain even to the keen eyes of Miss
Fairbairn, and glances were exchanged; and perhaps it was as well for
Esther that she did not know how everybody's attention for the moment
was concentrated on her movements. She went and came in happy ignorance.

Miss Fairbairn received her paper, thanked her, and went on then to
read to the girls an elaborate account of a wonderful wedding which had
lately been celebrated in Washington. The bride's dress was detailed,
her trousseau described, and the subsequent movements of the bridal
party chronicled. All was listened to with eager attention.

'What do you think of it, Miss Dyckman?' the lady asked after she had
finished reading.

'I think she was a happy girl, Miss Fairbairn.'

'Humph! What do you say, Miss Delavan?'

'Uncommonly happy, I should say, ma'am.'

'Is that your opinion, Miss Essing?'

'Certainly, ma'am. There could be but one opinion, I should think.'

'What could make a girl happy, if all that would not?' asked another.

'Humph! Miss Gainsborough, you are the next; what are your views on the
subject?'

Esther's mouth opened, and closed. The answer that came first to her
lips was sent back. She had a fine feeling that it was not fit for the
company, a feeling that is expressed in the admonition not to cast
pearls before swine, though that admonition did not occur to her at the
time. She had been about to appeal to the Bible; but her answer as it
was given referred only to herself.

'I believe I should not call "happiness" anything that would not last,'
she said.

There was a moment's silence. What Miss Fairbairn thought was not to be
read from her face; in other faces Esther read distaste or
disapprobation.

'Why, Miss Fairbairn, nothing lasts, if you come to that,' cried a
young lady from near the other end of the table.

'Some things more than others,' the mistress of the house opined.

'Not what you call "happiness," ma'am.'

'That's a very sober view of things to take at your age, Miss Disbrow.'

'Yes, ma'am,' said the young lady, tittering. 'It is true.'

'Do you think it is true, Miss Jennings?'

There was a little hesitation. Miss Jennings said she did not know.
Miss Lawton was appealed to.

'Is there no happiness that is lasting, Miss Lawton?'

'Well, Miss Fairbairn, what we call happiness. One can't be married but
once,' the young lady hazarded.

That called forth a storm of laughter. Laughter well modulated and kept
within bounds, be it understood; no other was tolerated in Miss
Fairbairn's presence.

'I have _heard_ of people who had that happiness two or three times,'
the lady said demurely. 'Is there, then, no happiness short of being
married?'

'Oh, Miss Fairbairn! you know I do not mean that, but all the things
you read to us of: the diamonds, and the beautiful dresses, and the
lace, and the presents; and then the travelling, and doing whatever she
liked.'

'Very few people do whatever they like,' murmured Miss Fairbairn.

'I mean all that. And that does not last--only for a while. The
diamonds last, of course'--

'But the pleasure of wearing them might not. True. Quite right, Miss
Lawton. But I come back to my question. Is there _no_ happiness on
earth that lasts?'

There was silence.

'We are in a bad way, if that is our case. Miss Gainsborough, what do
you say? I come back to you again. Is there any such thing on earth as
happiness, according to your terms?--something that lasts?'

Esther was in doubt again how to answer.

'I think there is, ma'am,' she said, with a look up at her questioner.

'Pray what is it?'

Did she know? or did she not know? Esther was not certain; was not
certain that her words would find either understanding or sympathy in
all that tableful. Nevertheless, the time had come when they must be
spoken. Which words? for several Bible sayings were in her mind.

'"Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord: that walketh in His ways.
For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt them be, and
it shall be well with thee."'

The most profound silence followed this utterance. It had been made in
a steady and clear voice, heard well throughout the rooms, and then
there was silence. Esther fancied she discerned a little sympathetic
moisture in the eyes of Miss Fairbairn, but also that lady at first
said nothing. At last one voice in the distance was understood to
declare that its owner 'did not care about eating the labour of her
hands.'

'No, my dear, you would surely starve,' replied Miss Fairbairn. 'Is
that what the words mean, do you think, Miss Gainsborough?'

'I think not, ma'am.'

'What then? won't you explain?'

'There is a reference, ma'am, which I thought explained it. "Say ye to
the righteous that it shall be well with him: for they shall eat the
fruit of their doings." And another word perhaps explains it. "Oh fear
the Lord, ye His saints; for there is no want to them that fear Him."'

'No want to them, hey?' repeated Miss Fairbairn. 'That sounds very much
like happiness, I confess. What do you say, Miss Lawton?--Miss Disbrow?
People that have no want unsatisfied must be happy, I should say.'

Silence. Then one young lady was heard to suggest that there were no
such people in the world.

'The Bible says so, Miss Baines. What can you do against that?'

'Miss Fairbairn, there is an old woman that lives near us in the
country--very poor; she is an old Christian,--at least so they
say,--and she is _very_ poor. She has lost all her children and
grandchildren; she cannot work any more, and she lives upon charity.
That is, if you call it living. I know she often has very little indeed
to live upon, and that very poor, and she is quite alone; nobody to
take the least care for her, or of her.'

'So you think she _does_ want some things. Miss Gainsborough, what have
you to say to that?'

'What does _she_ think about it?' Esther asked.

She looked as she spoke at the young lady who had given the instance,
but the latter took no notice, until Miss Fairbairn said,

'Miss Baines, a question was put to you.'

'I am sure I don't know,' Miss Baines replied. 'They _say_ she is a
very happy old woman.'

'You doubt it?'

'I should not be happy in her place, ma'am. I don't see, for my part,
how it is possible. And it seems to me certainly she wants a great many
things.'

'What do you think, Miss Gainsborough.'

'I think the Bible must be true, ma'am.'

'That is Faith's answer.'

'And then, the word is, "Blessed is every one that _feareth the Lord;_"
it is true of nobody else, I suppose.'

'My dear, is that the answer of Experience?'

'I do not know, ma'am.' But Esther's smile gave a very convincing
affirmative. 'But the promise is, "No good thing will He withhold from
them that walk uprightly."'

'There you have it. "No good thing;" and, "from them that walk
uprightly." Miss Disbrow, when you were getting well of that fever, did
your mother let you eat everything?'

'Oh no, ma'am; not at all.'

'What did she keep from you?'

'Nearly everything I liked, ma'am.'

'Was it cruelty, or kindness?'

'Kindness, of course. What I liked would have killed me.'

'Then she withheld from you "no good thing," hey? while she kept from
you nearly everything you liked.'

There was silence all round the table. Then Miss Baines spoke again.

'But, ma'am, that old woman has not a fever, and she don't get any nice
things to eat.'

'It is quite likely she enjoys her meals more than you do yours. But
granting she does not, are you the physician to know what is good for
her?'

'She does not want any physician, ma'am.'

A laugh ran round the table, and Miss Fairbairn let the subject drop.
When dinner was nearly over, however, she remarked:

'You want light for your practising. I will excuse you, Miss
Gainsborough, if you wish to go.'

Esther went, very willingly. Then Miss Fairbairn held one of her little
discourses, with which now and then she endeavoured to edify her pupils.

'Young ladies, I am going to ask you to take pattern by Miss
Gainsborough. Did you notice her movements when she went to do that
little errand for me?'

Silence. Then murmurs of assent were heard, not very loud, nor
enthusiastic. Miss Fairbairn did not expect that, nor care. What she
wanted was to give her lesson.

'Did you observe how she moved? She went like a swan'--

'On land' her keen ears heard somebody say under breath.

'No, not on the land; like a swan on the water; with that smooth,
gliding, noiseless movement which is the very way a true lady goes.
There was the cat lying directly in her way; Miss Gainsborough went
round her gracefully, without stopping or stumbling. The servant came
right against her with a tray full; Miss Gainsborough stood still and
waited composedly till the obstacle was removed. You could not hear her
open or shut the door; you could not hear her foot on the stairs, and
yet she went quick. And when she came back, she did not rustle and
bustle with her newspaper, but laid it nicely folded beside me, and
went back to her seat as quietly as she had left it. Young ladies, that
is good breeding in motion.'




CHAPTER XXI.

_THE COLONEL'S TOAST_.


It is just possible that the foregoing experiences did not tend to
increase Esther's popularity among her companions. She got forthwith
the name of _favourite_, the giving of which title is the consolatory
excuse to themselves of those who have done nothing to deserve favour.
However, whether she were popular or not was a matter that did not
concern Esther. She was full of the delight of learning, and bent upon
making the utmost of her new advantages. Study swallowed her up, so to
speak; at least, swallowed up all lesser considerations and attendant
circumstances. Not so far but that Esther got pleasure also from these;
she enjoyed the novelty, she enjoyed the society, even she enjoyed the
sight of so many in the large family; to the solitary girl, who had all
her life lived and worked alone, the stir and breeze and bustle of a
boarding-school were like fresh air to the lungs, or fresh soil to the
plant. Whether her new companions liked her, she did not so much as
question; in the sweetness of her own happy spirit she liked _them_,
which was the more material consideration. She liked every teacher that
had to do with her; after which, it is needless to add, that Miss
Gainsborough had none but favourers and friends in that part of her new
world. And it was so delicious to be learning; and in such a mood one
learns fast. Esther felt, when she went home at the end of the week,
that she was already a different person from the one who had left it on
Monday morning.

Christopher came for her with an old horse and a gig, which was a new
subject of interest.

'Where did you get them?' she asked, as soon as she had taken her seat,
and begun to make her observations.

'Nowheres, Miss Esther; leastways _I_ didn't. The colonel, he's bought
'em of some old chap that wanted to get rid of 'em.'

'Bought? Then they are ours!' exclaimed Esther with delight. 'Well, the
gig seems very nice; is it a good horse, Christopher?'

'Well, mum,' said Mr. Bounder in a tone of very moderate appreciation,
'master says he's the remains of one. The colonel knows, to be sure,
but I can't say as I see the remains. I think, maybe, somewheres in the
last century he may have deserved high consideration; at present, he's
got four legs, to be sure, such as they be, and a head. The head's the
most part of him.'

'Obstinate?' said Esther, laughing.

'Well, mum, he thinks he knows in all circumstances what is best to be
done. I'm only a human, and naturally I thinks otherwise. That makes
differences of opinion.'

'He seems to go very well.'

'No doubt, mum,' said Christopher; 'you let him choose his way, and
he'll go uncommon; that he do.'

He went so well, in fact, that the drive was exhilarating; the gig was
very easy; and Esther's spirits rose. At her age, the mind is just
opening to appreciate keenly whatever is presented to it; every new bit
of knowledge, every new experience, a new book or a new view, seemed to
be taken up by her senses and her intelligence alike, with a fresh
clearness of perception, which had in itself something very enjoyable.
But this afternoon, how pleasant everything was! Not the weather,
however; a grey mist from the sea was sweeping inland, veiling the
country, and darkening the sky, and carrying with it a penetrating raw
chillness which was anything but agreeable. Yet to Esther it was good
weather. She was entered at school; she had had a busy, happy week, and
was going home; there were things at home that she wanted to put in
order; and her father must be glad to have her ministry again. Then
learning was so delightful, and it was so pleasant to be, at least in
some small measure, keeping step with Pitt. No, probably not _that;_
certainly not that; Pitt would be far in advance of her. At least, in
some things, he would be far in advance of her; in others, Esther said
to herself, he should not. He might have more advantages at Oxford, no
doubt; nevertheless, if he ever came back again to see his old friends,
he should find her doing her part and standing up to her full measure
of possibilities. Would Pitt come back? Surely he would, Esther
thought. But would he, in such a case, make all the journey to New York
to look up his old teacher and his old playmate and scholar? She
answered this query with as little hesitation as the other. And so, it
will be perceived, Esther's mind was in as brisk motion as her body
during the drive out to Chelsea.

For at that day a wide stretch of country, more or less cultivated, lay
between what is now Abingdon Square and what was then the city.
Esther's new home was a little further on still, down near the bank of
the river; a drive of a mile and a half or two miles from Miss
Fairbairn's school; and the short November day was closing in already
when she got there.

Mrs. Barker received her almost silently, but with gladness in every
feature, and with a quantity of careful, tender ministrations, every
one of which had the effect of a caress.

'How is papa? Has he missed me much?'

'The colonel is quite as usual, mum; and he didn't say to me as his
feelin's were, but in course he's missed you. The house itself has
missed you, Miss Esther.'

'Well, I am glad to be home for a bit, Barker,' said Esther, laughing.

'Surely, I know it must be fine for you to go to school, mum; but a
holiday's a holiday; and I've got a nice pheasant for your supper, Miss
Esther, and I hope as you'll enjoy it.'

'Thank you, Barker. Oh, anything will be good;' and she ran into the
sitting-room to see her father.

The greetings here were quiet, too; the colonel was never otherwise, in
manner. And then Esther gave a quick look round the room to see if all
were as she wanted it to be.

'My dear,' said the colonel, gazing at her, 'I had no idea you were so
tall!'

Esther laughed. I seem to have grown, oh, inches, in feeling, this
week, papa. I don't wonder I look tall.'

'Never "wonder," my dear, at anything. Are you satisfied with your new
position?'

'Very much, papa. Have you missed me?--badly, I mean?'

'There is no way of missing a person pleasantly, that I know,' said her
father; 'unless it is a disagreeable person. Yes, I have missed you,
Esther; but I am willing to miss you.'

This was not quite satisfactory to Esther's feeling; but her father's
wonted way was somewhat dry and self-contained. The fact that this was
an unwonted occasion might have made a difference, she thought; and was
a little disappointed that it did not; but then, as the colonel went
back to his book, she put off further discussions till supper-time, and
ran away to see to some of the house arrangements which she had upon
her heart. In these she was soon gaily busy; finding the work
delightful after the long interval of purely mental action. She had
done a good many things, she felt with pleasure, before she was called
to tea. Then it was with new enjoyment that she found herself
ministering to her father again; making his toast just as he liked it,
pouring out his tea, and watching over his wants. The colonel seemed to
take up things simply where she had left them; and was almost as silent
as ever.

'Who has made your toast while I have been away, papa?' Esther asked,
unable to-night to endure this silence.

'My toast? Oh, Barker, of course.'

'Did she make it right?'

'Right? My dear, I have given up expecting to have servants do
somethings as they ought to be done. Toast is one of the things. They
are outside of the limitations of the menial mind.'

'What is the reason, papa? Can't they be taught?'

'I don't know, my dear. I never have been able to teach them. They
always think toast is done when it is brown, and the browner the
better, I should say. Also it is beyond their comprehension that
thickness makes a difference. There was an old soldier once I had under
me in India; he was my servant; he was the only man I ever saw who
could make a piece of toast.'

'What are some of the other things that cannot be taught, papa?'

'A cup of tea.'

'Does not Barker make your tea good?' asked Esther, in some dismay.

'She can do many other things,' said the colonel. 'She is a very
competent woman.'

'So I thought. What is the matter with the tea, papa--the tea she
makes?'

'I don't know, my dear, what the matter is. It is without fragrance,
and without sprightliness, and generally about half as hot as it ought
to be.'

'No good toast and no good tea! Papa, I am afraid you have missed me
very much at meal times?'

'I have missed you at all times--more than I thought possible. But it
cannot be helped.'

'Papa,' said Esther, suddenly very serious, '_can_ it not be helped?'

'No, my dear. How should it?'

'I might stay at home.'

'We have come here that you might go to school.'

'But if it is to your hurt, papa'--

'Not the question, my dear. About me it is of no consequence. The
matter in hand is, that you should grow up to be a perfect
woman--perfect as your mother was; that would have been her wish, and
it is mine. To that all other things must give way. I wish you to have
every information and every accomplishment that it is possible for you
in this country to acquire.'

'Is there not as good a chance here as in England, papa?'

'What do you mean by "chance," my dear? Opportunity? No; there cannot
yet be the same advantages here as in an old country, which has been
educating its sons and its daughters in the most perfect way for
hundreds of years.'

Esther pricked up her ears. The box of coins recurred to her memory,
and sundry conversations held over it with Pitt Dallas. Whereby she had
certainly got an impression that it was not so very long since
England's educational provisions and practices, for England's daughters
at least, had been open to great criticism, and displayed great lack of
the desirable. 'Hundreds of years!' But she offered no contradiction to
her father's remark.

'I would like you to be equal to any Englishwoman in your acquirements
and accomplishments,' he repeated musingly. 'So far as in New York that
is possible.'

'I will try what I can do, papa. And, after all, it depends more on the
girl than on the school, does it not?'

'Humph! Well, a good deal depends on you, certainly. Did Miss Fairbairn
find you backward in your studies, to begin with?'

'Papa,' said Esther slowly, 'I do not think she did.'

'Not in anything?'

'In French and music, of course.'

'Of course! But in history?'

'No, papa.'

'Nor in Latin?'

'Oh no, papa.'

'Then you can take your place well with the rest?'

'Perfectly, papa.'

'Do you like it? And does Miss Fairbairn approve of you? Has the week
been pleasant?'

'Yes, sir. I like it very much, and I think she likes me--if only you
get on well, papa. How have you been all these days?'

'Not very well. I think, not so well as at Seaforth. The air here does
not agree with me. There is a rawness--I do not know what--a peculiar
quality, which I did not find at Seaforth. It affects my breast
disagreeably.'

'But, dear papa!' cried Esther in dismay, 'if this place does not agree
with you, do not let us stay here! Pray do not for me!'

'My dear, I am quite willing to suffer a little for your good.'

'But if is bad for you, papa?'

'What does that matter? I do not expect to live very long in any case;
whether a little longer or a little shorter, is most immaterial. I care
to live only so far as I can be of service to you, and while you need
me, my child.'

'Papa, when should I not need you?' cried Esther, feeling as if her
breath were taken away by this view of things.

'The children grow up to be independent of the parents,' said the
colonel, somewhat abstractly. 'It is the way of nature. It must be; for
the old pass away, and the young step forward to fill their places.
What I wish is that you should get ready to fill your place well. That
is what we have come here for. We have taken the step, and we cannot go
back.'

'Couldn't we, papa? if New York is not good for you?'

'No, my dear. We have sold our Seaforth place.'

'Mr. Dallas would sell it back again.'

'I shall not ask him. And neither do I desire to have it back, Esther.
I have come here on good grounds, and on those grounds I shall stay.
How I personally am affected by the change is of little consequence.'

The colonel, having by this time finished his third slice of toast and
drunk up his tea, turned to his book. Esther remained greatly chilled
and cast down. Was her advantage to be bought at the cost of shortening
her father's life? Was her rich enjoyment of study and mental growth to
be balanced by suffering and weariness on his part?--every day of her
new life in school to be paid for by such a day's price at home? Esther
could not bear to think it. She sat pondering, chewing the bitter cud
of these considerations. She longed to discuss them further, and get
rid, if possible, of her father's dismal conclusions; but with him she
could not, and there was no other. When her father had settled and
dismissed a subject, she could rarely re-open a discussion upon it. The
colonel was an old soldier; when he had delivered an opinion, he had in
a sort given his orders; to question was almost to be guilty of
insubordination. He had gone back to his book, and Esther dared not say
another word; all the more her thoughts burnt within her, and for a
long time she sat musing, going over a great many things besides those
they had been talking of.

'Papa,' she said, once when the colonel stirred and let his book fall
for a minute, 'do you think Pitt Dallas will come home at all?'

'William Dallas! why should he not come home? His parents will want to
see him. I have some idea they expect him to come over next summer.'

'To _stay_, papa?'

'To stay the vacation. He will go back again, of course, to keep his
terms.'

'At Oxford?'

'Yes; and perhaps afterwards in the Temple.'

'The Temple, papa? what is that?'

'A school of law. Do you not know so much, Esther?'

'Is he going to be a lawyer?'

'His father wishes him to study for some profession, and in that he is
as usual judicious. The fact that William will have a great deal of
money does not affect the matter at all. It is my belief that every man
ought to have a profession. It makes him more of a man.'

'Do you think Pitt will end by being an Englishman, papa?'

'I can't tell, my dear. That would depend on circumstances, probably. I
should think it very likely, and very natural.'

'But he _is_ an American.'

'Half.'

The colonel took up his book again.

'Papa,' said Esther eagerly, 'do you think Pitt will come to see us
here?'

'Come to see us? If anything brings him to New York, I have no doubt he
will look us up.'

'You do not think he would come all the way on purpose? Papa, he would
be very much changed if he did not.'

'Impossible to say, my dear. He is very likely to have changed.' And
the colonel went back to his reading.

'Papa does not care about it,' thought Esther. 'Oh, can Pitt be so much
changed as that?'




CHAPTER XXII.

_A QUESTION_.


The identically same doubt busied some minds in another quarter, where
Mr. and Mrs. Dallas sat expecting their son home. They were not so much
concerned with it through the winter; the Gainsboroughs had been
happily got rid of, and were no longer in dangerous proximity; that was
enough for the time. But as the spring came on and the summer drew
nigh, the thought would recur to Pitt's father and mother, whether
after all they were safe.

'He mentions them in every letter he writes,' Mrs. Dallas said. She and
her husband were sitting as usual in their respective easy chairs on
either side of the fire. Not for that they were infirm, for there was
nothing of that; they were only comfortable. Mrs. Dallas was knitting
some bright wools, just now mechanically, and with a knitted brow; her
husband's brow showed no disturbance. It never did.

'That's habit,' he answered to his wife's remark.

'But habit with Pitt is a tenacious thing. What will he do when he
comes home and finds they are gone?'

'Make himself happy without them, I expect.'

'It wouldn't be like Pitt.'

'You knew Pitt two and a half years ago. He was a boy then; he will be
a man now.'

'Do you expect the man will be different from the boy?'

'Generally are. And Pitt has been going through a process.'

'I can see something of that in his letters,' said the mother
thoughtfully. 'Not much.'

'You will see more of it when he comes. What do you say in answer to
his inquiries?'

'About the Gainsboroughs? Nothing. I never allude to them.'

Silence. Mr. Dallas read his paper comfortably. Mrs. Dallas's brow was
still careful.

'It would be like him as he used to be, if he were to make the journey
to New York to find them. And if we should seem to oppose him, it might
set his fancy seriously in that direction. There's danger, husband.
Pitt is very persistent.'

'Don't see much to tempt him in that direction.'

'Beauty! And Pitt knows he will have money enough; he would not care
for that.'

'I do,' said Mr. Dallas, without ceasing to read his paper.

'I would not mind the girl being poor,' Mrs. Dallas went on, 'for Pitt
_will_ have money enough--enough for both; but, Hildebrand, they are
incorrigible dissenters, and I do _not_ want Pitt's wife to be of that
persuasion.'

'I won't have it, either.'

'Then we shall do well to think how we can prevent it. If we could have
somebody here to take up his attention at least'--

'Preoccupy the ground,' said Mr. Dallas. 'The colonel would say that is
good strategy.'

'I do not mean strategy,' said Mrs. Dallas. 'I want Pitt to fancy a
woman proper for him, in every respect.'

'Exactly. Have you one in your eye? Here in America it is difficult.'

'I was thinking of Betty Frere.'

'Humph! If she could catch him,--she might do.'

'She has no money; but she has family, and beauty.'

'You understand these things better than I do,' said Mr. Dallas, half
amused, half sharing his wife's anxiety. 'Would she make a comfortable
daughter-in-law for you?'

'That is secondary,' said Mrs. Dallas, still with a raised brow,
knitting her scarlet and blue with out knowing what colour went through
her fingers. Perhaps her husband's tone had implied doubt.

'If she can catch him,' Mr. Dallas repeated. 'There is no calculating
on these things. Cupid's arrows fly wild--for the most part.'

'I will ask her to come and spend the summer here,' Mrs. Dallas went
on. 'There is nothing like propinquity.'

In those days the crossing of the Atlantic was a long business, done
solely by the help or with the hindrance of the winds. And there was no
telegraphing, to give the quick notice of a loved one's arrival as soon
as he touched the shore. So Mr. and Mrs. Dallas had an anxious time of
watching and uncertainty, for they could not tell when Pitt might be
with them. It lasted, this time of anxiety, till Seaforth had been in
its full summer dress for some weeks; and it was near the end of a fair
warm day in July that he at last came. The table was set for tea, and
the master and mistress of the house were seated in their places on
either side the fireplace, where now instead of a fire there was a huge
jar full of hemlock branches. The slant sunbeams were stretching across
the village street, making that peaceful alternation of broad light and
still shadows which is so reposeful to the eye that looks upon it. Then
Mrs. Dallas's eye, which was not equally reposeful, saw a buggy drive
up and stop before the gate, and her worsteds fell from her hands and
her lap as she rose.

'Husband, he is come' she said, with the quietness of intensity; and
the next moment Pitt was there.

Yes, he had grown to be a man; he was changed; there was the conscious
gravity of a man in his look and bearing; the cool collectedness that
belongs to maturer years; the traces of thought and the lines of
purpose. It had been all more or less to be seen in her boy before, but
now the mother confessed to herself the growth and increase of every
manly and promising trait in the face and figure she loved. That is, as
soon as the first rush of delight had had its due expression, and the
first broken and scattering words were spoken, and the three sat down
to look at each other. The mother watched the broad brow, which was
whiter than it used to be; the fine shoulders, which were even
straighter and broader than of old; and the father noticed that his son
overtopped him. And Mrs. Dallas's eyes shone with an incipient moisture
which betrayed a soft mood she had to combat with; for she was not a
woman who liked sentimental scenes; while in her husband's grey orbs
there flashed out every now and then a fire of satisfied pride, which
was touching in one whose face rarely betrayed feeling of any kind.
Pitt was just the fellow he had hoped to see him; and Oxford had been
just the right place to send him to. He said little; it was the other
two who did most of the talking. The talking itself for some time was
of that disjointed, insignificant character which is all that can get
out when minds are so full, and enough when hearts are so happy.
Indeed, for all that evening they could not advance much further. Eyes
supplemented tongues sufficiently. It was not till a night's sleep and
the light of a new day had brought them in a manner to themselves that
anything less fragmentary could be entered upon. At breakfast all
parties seemed to have settled down into a sober consciousness of
satisfied desire. Then Mr. Dallas asked his son how he liked Oxford?

Pitt exhausted himself in giving both the how and the why. Yet no
longer like a boy.

'Think you'll end by settling in England, eh?' said his father, with
seeming carelessness.

'I have not thought of it, sir.'

'What's made old Strahan take such a fancy to you? Seems to be a
regular love affair.'

'He is a good friend to me,' Pitt answered seriously. 'He has shown it
in many ways.'

'He'll put you in his will, I expect.'

'I think he will do nothing of the kind. He knows I will have enough.'

'Nobody knows it,' said the older Dallas drily. 'I might lose all _my_
money, for anything you can tell.'

The younger man's eyes flashed with a noble sparkle in them. 'What I
say is still true, sir. What is the use of Oxford?'

'Humph!' said his father. 'The use of Oxford is to teach young men of
fortune to spend their money elegantly.'

'Or to enable young men who have no fortune to do elegantly without it.'

'There is no doing elegantly without money, and plenty of it,' said the
elder man, looking from under lowered eyelids, in a peculiar way he
had, at his son. 'Plenty of it, I tell you. You cannot have too much.'

'Money is a good dog.'

'A good _what?_'

'A good servant, sir, I should say. You may see a case occasionally
where it has got to be the master.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'A man unable to be anything and spoiled for doing anything worth
while, because he has so much of it; a man whose property is so large
that he has come to look upon money as the first thing.'

'It is the first thing and the last thing, I can tell you. Without it,
a man has to play second fiddle to somebody else all his life.'

'Do you think there is no independence but that of the purse, sir?'

'Beggarly little use in any other kind. In fact, there is not any other
kind, Pitt. What passes for it is just fancy, and struggling to make
believe. The really independent man is the man who need not ask anybody
else's leave to do anything.'

Pitt let the question drop, and went on with his breakfast, for which
he seemed to have a good appetite.

'Your muffins are as good as ever, mother,' he remarked.

Mrs. Dallas, to judge by her face, found nothing in this world so
pleasant as to see Pitt eat his breakfast, and nothing in the world so
important to do as to furnish him with satisfactory material. Yet she
was not a foolish woman, and preserved all the time her somewhat
stately presence and manner; it was in little actions and words now and
then that this care for her son's indulgence and delight in it made
itself manifest. It was manifest enough to the two who sat at breakfast
with her; Mr. Dallas observing it with a secret smile, his son with a
grateful swelling of the heart, which a glance and a word sometimes
conveyed to his mother. Mrs. Dallas's contentment this morning was
absolute and unqualified. There could be no doubt what Betty Frere
would think, she said to herself. Every quality that ought to grace a
young man, she thought she saw embodied before her. The broad brow, and
the straight eyebrow, and the firm lips, expressed what was congenial
to Mrs. Dallas's soul; a mingling of intelligence and will, well
defined, clear and strong; but also sweet. There was thoughtfulness but
no shadow in the fine hazel eyes; no cloud on the brow; and the smile
when it came was frank and affectionate. His manner pleased Mrs. Dallas
infinitely; it had all the finish of the best breeding, and she was
able to recognise this.

'What are you going to be, Pitt?' his father broke in upon some
laughing talk that was going on between mother and son.

'To be, sir? I beg your pardon!'

'After you have done with Oxford, or with your college course. You know
I intend you to study for a profession. Which profession would you
choose?'

Pitt was silent.

'Have you ever thought about it?'

'Yes, sir. I have thought about it.'

'What conclusion did you come to?'

'To none, yet,' the young man answered slowly. 'It must depend.'

'On what?

'Partly,--on what conclusion I come to respecting something else,' Pitt
went on in the same manner, which immediately fastened his mother's
attention.

'Perhaps you will go on and explain yourself,' said his father. 'It is
good that we should understand one another.'

Yet Pitt was silent.

'Is it anything private and secret?' his father asked, half laughing,
although with a touch of sharp curiosity in his look.

'Private--not secret,' Pitt answered thoughtfully, too busy with his
own thoughts to regard his father's manner. 'At least the conclusion
cannot be secret.'

'It might do no harm to discuss the subject,' said his father, still
lightly.

'I cannot see how it would do any good. It is my own affair. And I
thought it might be better to wait till the conclusion was reached.
However, that may not be for some time; and if you wish'--

'We wish to share in whatever is interesting you, Pitt,' his mother
said gently.

'Yes, mother, but at present things are not in any order to please you.
You had better wait till I see daylight.'

'Is it a question of marriage?' asked his father suddenly.

'No, sir.'

'A question of Uncle Strahan's wishes?' suggested Mrs. Dallas.

'No, mother.' And then with a little hesitation he went on: 'I have
been thinking merely what master I would serve. Upon that would depend,
in part, what service I would do;--of course.'

'What master? Mars or Minerva, to wit? or possibly Apollo? Or what was
the god who was supposed to preside over the administration of justice?
I forget.'

'No, sir. My question was broader.'

'Broader!'

'It was, briefly, the question whether I would serve God or Mammon.'

'I profess I do not understand you now!' said his father.

'You are aware, sir, the world is divided on that question; making two
parties. Before going any farther, I had a mind to determine to which
of them I would belong. How can a navigator lay his course, unless he
knows his goal?'

'But, my boy,' said his mother, now anxiously and perplexedly, 'what do
you mean?'

'It amounts to the question, whether I would be a Christian, mother.'

Mr. Dallas slued his chair round, so as to bring his face somewhat out
of sight; Mrs. Dallas, obeying the same instinctive impulse, kept hers
hidden behind the screen of her coffee-urn, for she would not her son
should see in it the effect of his words. Her answer, however, was
instantaneous:

'But, my dear, you _are_ a Christian.'

'Am I? Since when, mother?'

'Pitt, you were baptized in infancy,--you were baptized by that good
and excellent Bishop Downing, as good a man, and as holy, as ever was
consecrated, here or anywhere. He baptized you before you were two
months old. That made you a Christian, my boy.'

'What sort of a one, mother?'

'Why, my dear, you were taught your catechism. Have you forgotten it?
In baptism you were made "a member of Christ, a child of God, and an
inheritor of the kingdom of heaven." You have learned those words,
often enough, and said them over.'

'That will do to talk about, mother,' said Pitt slowly; 'but in what
sense is it true?'

'My dear!--in every sense. How can you ask? It is part of the
Prayer-Book.'

'It is not part of my experience. Up to this time, my life and
conscience know nothing about it. Mother, the Bible gives certain marks
of the people whom it calls "disciples" and "Christians." I do not find
them in myself.'

Pitt lifted his head and looked at his mother as he spoke; a grave,
frank, most manly expression filling his face. Mrs. Dallas met the look
with one of intense worry and perplexity. 'What do you mean?' she said
helplessly; while a sudden shove of her husband's chair spoke for _his_
mood of mind, in its irritated restlessness. 'Marks?' she repeated.
'Christians are not _marked_ from other people.'

'As I read the Bible, it seems to me they must be.'

'I do not understand you,' she said shortly. 'I hope you will explain
yourself.'

'I owe it to you to answer,' the young man said thoughtfully; 'it is
better, perhaps, you should know where I am, that you may at least be
patient with me if I do not respond quite as you would wish to your
expectations. Mother, I have been studying this matter a great while;
but as to the preliminary question, whether I am already what the Bible
describes Christians to be, I have been under no delusion at all. The
marks are plain enough, and they are not in me.'

'What marks?'

'It is a personal matter,' Pitt went on a little unwillingly; 'it must
be fought through somehow in my own mind; but some things are plain
enough. Mother, the servants of Christ "follow" Him; it is the test of
their service; I never did, nor ever thought or cared what the words
meant. The children of God are known by the fact that they love Him and
keep his commandments. So the Bible says. I have not loved Him, and
have not asked about His commandments. I have always sought my own
pleasure. The heirs of the kingdom of heaven have chosen that world
instead of this; and between the two is just the choice I have yet to
make. That is precisely where I am.'

'But, my dear Pitt,' said Mrs. Dallas, while her husband kept an
ominous silence, 'you have always led a most blameless life. I think
you judge yourself too hardly. You have been a good son, always!' and
her eyes filled, partly with affection and partly with chagrin. To what
was all this tending? 'You have _always_ been a good son,' she repeated.

'To you, mother. Yes, I hope so.'

'And, my dear, you were confirmed. What did that mean?'

'It meant nothing, mother, so far as I was concerned. It amounted to
nothing. I did not know what I was doing. I did not think of the
meaning the words might bear. It was to me a mere form, done because
you wished it, and because it was said to be proper; the right thing to
do; I attached no weight to it, and lived just the same after as
before. Except that for a few days I went under a little feeling of
constraint, I remember, and also carried my head higher with a sense of
added dignity.'

'And what is your idea of a Christian now, then?' Mrs. Dallas asked,
between trouble and indignation.

'I am merely taking what the Bible says about it, mother.'

'Which every man interprets for himself,' added Mr. Dallas drily.

'Where words are so plain, there can hardly be any question of
interpretation. For instance'--

'Let that be,' said Mr. Dallas; 'and tell us, if you can, what is your
idea of the "choice" you say you have to make. A choice between what?'

'The one thing runs into the other,' said Pitt; 'but it does not
signify at which end we begin. The question is, I suppose, in short,
which world I will live for.'

'Live for both! That is the sensible way.'

'But, if you will pardon me, sir, impracticable.'

'How impracticable?'

'It has been declared so by the highest authority, and it has been
found so in practice. I see it to be impracticable.'

'_I_ do not. Where's the impracticability?' Mr. Dallas had wheeled
round now and was regarding his son attentively, with a face of
superior, cold, rather scornful calm. Mr. Dallas's face was rarely
anything else but calm, whatever might be going on beneath the calm.
Pitt's face was not exactly so quiet; thought was working in it, and
lights and shades sometimes passed over it, which his father carefully
studied. 'Where's the impossibility?' he repeated, as Pitt's answer
tarried.

'The impossibility of walking two ways at once.'

'Will you explain yourself? I do not see the application.'

He spoke with clear coldness, perhaps expecting that his son would be
checked or embarrassed by coming against that barrier to enthusiasm, a
cold, hard intellect. Pitt, however, was quite as devoid of enthusiasm
at the moment as his father, and far more sure of his ground, while his
intellect was full as much astir. His steadiness was not shaken, rather
gained force, as he went on to speak, though he did not now lift his
eyes, but sat looking down at the white damask which covered the
breakfast table, having pushed his plate and cup away from him.

'Father and mother,' he said, 'I have been looking at two opposite
goals. On one side there is--what people usually strive for--honour,
pleasure, a high place in the world's regard. If I seek that, I know
what I have to do. I suppose it is what you want me to do. I should
distinguish myself, if I can; climb the heights of greatness; make
myself a name, and a place, and then live there, as much above the rest
of the world as I can, and enjoying all the advantages of my position.
That is about what I thought I would do when I went to Oxford. It is a
career bounded by this world, and ended when one quits it. You ask why
it is impossible to do this and the other thing too? Just look at it.
If I become a servant of Christ, I give up seeking earthly honour; I do
not live for my own pleasure; I apply all I have, of talents or means
or influence, to doing the will of a Master whose kingdom is not of
this world, and whose ways are not liked by the world. I see very
plainly what His commands are, and they bid one be unlike the world and
separate from it. Do you see the impossibility I spoke of?'

'But, my dear,' said Mrs. Dallas eagerly, 'you exaggerate things.'

'Which things, mother?'

'It is not necessary for you to be unlike the world; that is
extravagance.'

Pitt rose, went to the table, where a large family Bible and Book of
Common Prayer lay, and fetched the Bible to the breakfast-table. During
which procedure Mr. Dallas shoved his chair round again, to gain his
former position, and Mrs. Dallas passed her hand over her eyes once or
twice, with her a gesture of extreme disturbance. Pitt brought his
book, opened it on the table before him, and after a little turning of
the leaves stopped and read the following:

'"If ye were of the world, the world would love his own; but because ye
are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore
the world hateth you."'

'Yes, _at that time_,' said Mrs. Dallas eagerly,--'at that time. Then
the heathen made great opposition. All that is past now.'

'Was it only the heathen, mother?'

'Well, the Jews, of course. They were as bad.'

'Why were they? Just for this reason, that they loved the praise of men
more than the praise of God. They chose this world. But the apostle
James,--here it is,--he wrote:

'"Whosoever will be a friend of the world, is the enemy of God."'

'Wouldn't you then be a friend of the world, Pitt?' his mother asked
reprovingly.

'I should say,' Mr. Dallas remarked with an amused, indifferent
tone,--'I should say that Pitt had been attending a conventicle; only
at Oxford that is hardly possible.'

The young man made no answer to either speaker; he remained with his
head bent down over the Bible, and a face almost stern in its gravity.
Mrs. Dallas presently repeated her question.

'Pitt, would you not be a friend to the world?'

'That is the question, mother,' he said, lifting his face to look at
her. 'I thought it right to tell you all this, that you may know just
where I stand. Of course I have thought of the question of a
profession; but this other comes first, and I feel it ought first to be
decided.'

With which utterance the young man rose, put the big Bible in its
place, and left the room.




CHAPTER XXIII.

_A DEBATE_.


The two who were left sat still for a few moments, without speaking.
Mrs. Dallas once again made that gesture of her hand across her brow.

'You need not disturb yourself, wife,' said her husband presently.
'Young men must have a turn at being fools, once in a way. It is not
much in Pitt's way; but, however, it seems his turn has come. There are
worse types of the disorder. I would rather have this Puritan scruple
to deal with than some other things. The religious craze passes off
easier than a fancy for drinking or gambling; it is hot while it lasts,
but it is easier to cure.'

'But Pitt is so persistent!'

'In other things. You will see it will not be so with this.'

'He's very persistent,' repeated the mother. 'He always did stick to
anything he once resolved upon.'

'He is not resolved upon this yet. Distraction is the best thing, not
talk. Where's Betty Frere? I thought she was coming.'

'She is coming. She will be here in a few days. I cannot imagine what
has set Pitt upon this strange way of thinking. He has got hold of some
Methodist or some other dreadful person; but where? It couldn't be at
Oxford; and I am certain it was never in Uncle Strahan's house; where
could it be?'

'Methodism began at Oxford, my dear.'

'It is one mercy that the Gainsboroughs are gone.'

'Yes,' said her husband; 'that was well done. Does he know?'

'I have never told him. He will be asking about them directly.'

'Say as little as you can, and get Betty Frere here.'

Pitt meanwhile had gone to his old room, his work-room, the scene of
many a pleasant hour, and where those aforetime lessons to Esther
Gainsborough had been given. He stood and looked about him. All was
severe order and emptiness, telling that the master had been away; his
treasures were safe packed up, under lock and key, or stowed away upon
cupboard shelves; there was no pleasant litter on tables and floor,
alluring to work or play. Was that old life, of work and play which
mixed and mingled, light-hearted and sweet, gone for ever? Pitt stood
in the middle of the floor looking about him, gathering up many a
broken thread of association; and then, obeying an impulse which had
been on him all the morning, he turned, caught up his hat, and went out.

He loitered down the village street. It was mid-morning now, the summer
sun beating down on the wide space and making every big tree shadow
grateful. Great overarching elms, sometimes an oak or a maple, ranged
along in straight course and near neighbourhood, making the village
look green and bowery, and giving the impression of an easy-going
thrift and habit of pleasant conditions, which perhaps was not untrue
to the character of the people. The capital order in which everything
was kept confirmed the impression. Pitt, however, was not thinking of
this, though he noticed it; the village was familiar to him from his
childhood, and looked just as it had always done, only that the elms
and maples had grown a little more bowery with every year. He walked
along, not thinking of that, nor seeing the roses and syringa blossoms
which gave him a sweet breath out of some of the gardens. He was not in
a hurry. He was going back in mind to that which furnished the real
answer to his mother's wondering query,--whence Pitt could have got his
new ideas? It was nobody at Oxford or in London, neither conventicle
nor discourse; but a girl's letter. He went on and on, thinking of it
and of the writer. What would _she_ say to his disclosures, which his
father and mother could do nothing with? Would she be in condition to
give him the help he knew he must not expect from them? She, a girl?
who did not know the world? Yet she was the goal of Pitt's present
thoughts, and her house the point his footsteps were seeking, slowly
and thoughtfully.

He was not in a hurry. Indeed, he was too absorbedly busy with his own
cogitations and questions to give full place to the thought of Esther
and the visit he was about to make. Besides, it was not as in the old
time. He had no image before him now of a forlorn, lonely child,
awaiting his coming as the flowers look for the sun. Things were rather
turned about; he thought of Esther as the one in the sunlight, and
himself as in need of illumination. He thought of her as needing no
comfort that he could give; he half hoped to find the way to peace
through her leading. But yes, she would be glad to see him; she would
not have forgotten him nor lost her old affection for her old
playfellow, though the entire cessation of letters from either her or
her father had certainly been inexplicable. Probably it might be
explained by some crankiness of the colonel. Esther would certainly be
glad to see him. He quickened his steps to reach the house.

He hardly knew it when he came to it, the aspect of things was so
different from what he remembered. Truly it had been always a quiet
house, with never a rush of company or a crowd of voices; but there had
been life; and now?--Pitt stood still at the little gate and looked,
with a sudden blank of disappointment. There could be nobody there. The
house was shut up and dead. Not a window was open; not a door. In the
little front garden the flowers had grown up wild and were struggling
with weeds; the grass of the lawn at the side was rank and unmown; the
honeysuckle vines in places were hanging loose and uncared-for, waving
in the wind in a way that said eloquently, 'Nobody is here.' There was
not much wind that summer day, just enough to move the honeysuckle
sprays. Pitt stood and looked and queried; then yielding to some
unconscious impulse, he went in through the neglected flowers to the
deserted verandah, and spent a quarter of an hour in twining and
securing the loose vines. He was thinking hard all the time. This was
the place where he remembered sitting with Esther that day when she
asked help of him about getting comfort. He remembered it well; he
recalled the girl's subdued manner, and the sorrowful craving in the
large beautiful eyes. _Now_ Esther had found what she sought, and
to-day he was nearly as unable to understand her as he had been to help
her then. He fastened up the honeysuckles, and then he went and sat
down on the step of the verandah and took Esther's letter out of his
breast pocket, and read it over. He had read it many times. He did not
comprehend it; but this he comprehended--that to her at least there was
something in religion more heartfelt than a form, and more satisfying
than a profession. To her it was a reality. The letter had set him
thinking, and he had been thinking ever since. He had come here this
morning, hoping that in talking with her she might perhaps give him
some more light, and now she had disappeared. Strange that his mother
should not have told him! What could be the explanation of this sudden
disappearance? Disaster or death it could not be, for that she
certainly would have told him.

Sitting there and musing over many things, his own great question ever
and again, he heard a mower whetting his scythe somewhere in the
neighbourhood. Pitt set about searching for the unseen labourer, and
presently saw the man, who was cutting the grass in an adjoining field.
Dismissing thought for action, in two minutes he had sprung over the
fence and was beside the man; but the mower did not intermit the long
sweeps of his scythe, until he heard Pitt's civil 'Good morning.' Then
he stopped, straightened himself up, and looked at his visitor--looked
him all over.

'Good mornin',' he replied. 'Guess you're the young squoire, ain't ye?'

If Pitt's appearance had been less supremely neat and faultless, I
think the honest worker would have offered his hand; but the white
linen summer suit, the polished boots, the delicate gloves, were too
much of a contrast with his own dusty and rough exterior. It was no
feeling of inferiority, be it well understood, that moved him to this
bit of self-denial; only a self-respecting feeling of fitness. He
himself would not have wanted to touch a dusty hand with those gloves
on his own. But he spoke his welcome.

'Glad to see ye hum, squoire. When did ye come?'

'Last night, thank you. Whom am I talking to? I have been so long away,
I have forgotten my friends.'

'I guess there's nobody hain't forgotten you, you'll find,' said the
man, wiping his scythe blade with a wisp of grass; needlessly, for he
had just whetted it; but it gave him an opportunity to look at the
figure beside him.

'More than I deserve,' said Pitt. 'But I seem not to find some of my
old friends. Do you know where is the family that used to live here?'

'Gone away, I guess.'

'I see they have gone away; but where have they gone?'

'Dunno, no more'n the dead,' said the man, beginning to mow again.

'You know whom I am speaking of?--Colonel Gainsborough.'

'I know. He's gone--that's all I kin tell ye.'

'Who takes care of the place?'

'The place? If you mean the house, nobody takes keer of it, I guess.
There ain't nobody in it. The land hez as good keer as it ever hed. The
squoire, he sees to that.'

'My father, do you mean?'

'Who else? It belongs to the squoire now, and he takes good keer o' all
_he_ sees to. He bought it, ye know, when the cunnel went away,' said
the man, stopping work and resting on his scythe to look at Pitt again.
'He'd ha' let it, I guess, ef he could; but you see there ain't nobody
that wants it. The folks in Seaforth all hez their own houses, and
don't want nobody else's. There _is_ folks, they say, as 'd like to
live in two houses to once, _ef_ they could manage it; but I never
heerd o' no one that could.'

'Do you know at all why the colonel went away?'

'Hain't an idee. Never knowed him particular, ye see, and so never
heerd tell. The cunnel he warn't a sociable man by no means, and kep'
himself mostly shut up. I think it's a man's loss; but there's
different opinions, I suppose, on that p'int. As on every other! Folks
du say, the cunnel warn't never to hum in Seaforth. Anyway, he ain't
now.'

With which utterance he went to mowing again, and Pitt, after a
courteous 'Good day,' left him.

Where could they be gone? And why should they have gone? And how was it
that his mother in her many letters had never said a word about it?
Nay, had let him go out this very morning to look for what she knew he
would not find? And his father had bought the ground! There was
something here to be inquired into. Meanwhile, for the present, he must
do his thinking without Esther.

He walked on and on, slowly, under the shade of the great trees, along
the empty, grassy street. He had plucked one or two shoots from the
honeysuckles, long shoots full of sweetness; and as he went on and
thought, they seemed to put in a word now and then. A word of reminder,
not distinct nor logical, but with a blended meaning of Esther and
sweetness and truth. Not _her_ sweetness and truth, but that which she
testified to, and which an inner voice in Pitt's heart kept declaring
to be genuine. That lured him and beckoned him one way; and the other
way sounded voices as if of a thousand sirens. Pleasure, pride,
distinction, dominion, applause, achievement, power, and ease. Various
forms of them, various colours, started up before his mind's eye;
vaguely discerned, as to individual form, but every one of them, like
the picadors in a bull-fight, shaking its little banner of distraction
and allurement. Pitt felt the confusion of them, and at the same time
was more than vaguely conscious on the other side of a certain steady
white light which attracted towards another goal. He walked on in
meditative musing, slowly and carelessly, not knowing where he was
going nor what he passed on the way; till he had walked far. And then
he suddenly stopped, turned, and set out to go back the road he had
come, but now with a quick, measured, steady footfall which gave no
indication of a vacillating mind or a laboured question.

He went into the breakfast-room when he got home, which was also the
common sitting-room and where he found, as he expected, his mother
alone. She looked anxious; which was not a usual thing with Mrs. Dallas.

'Pitt, my dear!--out all this time? Are you not very hot?'

'I do not know, mother; I think not. I have not thought about the heat,
I believe.'

He had kept the honeysuckle sprays in his hand all this while, and he
now went forward to stick them in the huge jar which occupied the
fireplace, and which was full of green branches. Turning when he had
done this, he did not draw up a chair, but threw himself down upon the
rug at his mother's feet, so that he could lay back his head upon her
knees. Presently he put up his two hands behind him and found her
hands, which he gently drew down and laid on each side of his head,
holding them there in caressing fashion. Caresses were never the order
of the day in this family; rarely exchanged even between mother and
son, who yet were devoted faithfully to each other. The action moved
Mrs. Dallas greatly; she bent down over him and kissed her son's brow,
and then loosening one of her hands thrust it fondly among the thick
brown wavy locks of hair that were such a pride to her. She admired him
unqualifiedly, with that blissful delight in him which a good mother
gives to her son, if his bodily and mental properties will anyway allow
of it. Mrs. Dallas's pride in this son had always been satisfied and
unalloyed; all the more now was the chagrin she felt at the first jar
to this satisfaction. Her face showed both feelings, the pride and the
trouble, but for a time she kept silence. She was burning to discuss
further with him the subject of the morning; devoured with restless
curiosity as to how it could ever have got such a lodgment in Pitt's
mind; at the same time she did not know how to touch it, and was afraid
of touching it wrong. Her husband's counsel, _not to talk_, she did not
indeed forget; but Mrs. Dallas had her own views of things, and did not
always take her husband's advice. She was not minded to follow it now,
but she was uncertain how best to begin. Pitt was busy with his own
thoughts.

'I have invited somebody to come and make your holiday pass
pleasantly,' Mrs. Dallas said at last, beginning far away from the
burden of her thoughts.

'Somebody?--whom?' asked Pitt a little eagerly, but without changing
his attitude.

'Miss Betty Frere.'

'Who is she, that she should put her hand on my holiday? I do not want
any hands but yours, mother. How often I have wanted them!'

'But Miss Frere _will_ make your time pass more pleasantly, my boy.
Miss Frere is one of the most admired women who have appeared in
Washington this year. She is a sort of cousin of your father's, too;
distant, but enough to make a connection. You will see for yourself
what she is.'

'Where did you find her out?'

'In Washington, last winter.'

'And she is coming?'

'She said she would come. I asked her to come and help me make the time
pass pleasantly for you.'

'Which means, that I must help you make the time pass pleasantly for
her.'

'That will be easy.'

'I don't know; and _you_ do not know. When is she coming?'

'In a few days, I expect her.'

'Young, of course. Well, mother, I really do not want anybody but you;
but we'll do the best we can.'

'She is handsome, and quick, and has excellent manners. She would have
made a good match last winter, at once,--if she had not been poor.'

'Are men such cads as that on this side the water too?'

'_Cads_, my dear!'

'I call that being cads. Don't you?'

'My boy, everybody cannot afford to marry a poor wife.'

'Anybody that has two hands can. Or a head.'

'It brings trouble, Pitt.'

'Does not the other thing bring trouble? It would with me! If I knew a
woman had married me for money, or if I knew I had married _her_ for
money, there would be no peace in my house.'

Mrs. Dallas laughed a little. 'You will have no need to do the latter
thing,' she said.

'Mother, nobody has any need to do it.'

'You, at any rate, can please yourself. Only'--

'Only what?' said Pitt, now laughing in his turn, and twisting his head
round to look up into her face. 'Go on, mother.'

'I am sure your father would never object to a girl because she was
poor, if you liked her. But there are other things'--

'Well, what other things?'

'Pitt, a woman has great influence over her husband, if he loves her,
and that you will be sure to do to any woman whom you make your wife. I
should not like to have you marry out of your own Church.'

Pitt's head went round, and he laughed again.

'In good time!' he said. 'I assure you, mother, you are in no danger
yet.'

'I thought this morning,' said his mother, hesitating,--'I was afraid,
from what you said, that some Methodist, or some other Dissenter, might
have got hold of you.'

Pitt was silent. The word struck him, and jarred a little. Was his
mother not grazing the truth? And a vague notion rose in his mind,
without actually taking shape, which just now he had not time to attend
to, but which cast a shadow, like a young cloud. He was silent, and his
mother after a little pause went on.

'Methodists and Dissenters are not much in Mr. Strahan's way, I am
sure; and you would hardly be troubled by them at Oxford. How was it,
Pitt? Where did you get these new notions?'

'Do they sound like Dissent, mother?'

'I do not know what they sound like. Not like you. I want to know what
they mean, and how you came by them?'

He did not immediately answer.

'I have been thinking on this subject a good while,' he said
slowly,--'a good while. You know, Mr. Strahan is a great antiquary, and
very full of knowledge about London. He has taken pleasure in going
about with me, and instructing me, and he is capital company; but at
last I learned enough to go by myself sometimes, without him; and I
used to ramble about through the places where he had taken me, to
review and examine and ponder things at my leisure. I grew very fond of
London. It is like an immense illustrated book of history.

'One day I was wandering in one of the busy parts of the city, and
turned aside out of the roar and the bustle into a little chapel, lying
close to the roar but separate from it. I had been there before, and
knew there were some fine marbles in the place; one especially, that I
wanted to see again. I was alone that day, and could take my time; and
I went in. It is the tomb of some old dignitary who lived several
centuries ago. I do not know what he was in life; but in death, as this
effigy represents him, it is something beautiful to look upon. I forget
at this minute the name of the sculptor; his work I shall never forget.
It is wonderfully fine. The gravity, and the sweetness, and the
ineffable repose of the figure, are beyond praise. I stood looking,
studying, thinking, I cannot tell for how long--or rather feeling than
thinking, at the moment. When I left the chapel and came out again into
the glare and the rush and the confusion, then I began to think,
mother. I went off to another quiet place, by the bank of the river,
and sat down and thought. I can hardly tell you how. The image of that
infinite repose I carried with me, and the rush of human life filled
the streets I had just come through behind me, and I looked at the
contrast of things. There, for ages already, that quiet; here, for a
day or two, this driving and struggling. Even suppose it be successful
struggling, what does it amount to?'

'It amounts to a good deal while you live,' said Mrs. Dallas.

'And after?'--

'And after too. A man's name, if he has struggled successfully, is held
in remembrance--in honour.'

'What is that to him after he is gone?'

'My dear, you would not advocate a lazy life?--a life without effort?'

'No, mother. The question is, what shall the effort be for?'

Mrs. Dallas was in the greatest perplexity how to carry on this
conversation. She looked down on the figure before her,--Pitt was still
sitting at her feet, holding her two hands on either side of his head;
and she could admire at her leisure the well-knit, energetic frame,
every line of which showed power and life, and every motion of which
indicated also the life and vigour of the spirit moving it. He was the
very man to fight the battle of life with distinguished success--she
had looked forward to his doing it, counted upon it, built her pride
upon it; what did he mean now? Was all that power and energy and
ability to be thrown away? Would he decline to fill the place in the
world which she had hoped to see him fill, and which he could so well
fill? Young people do have foolish fancies, and they pass over; but a
fancy of this sort, just at Pitt's age, might be fatal. She was glad it
was _herself_ and not his father who was his confidant, for Pitt, she
well knew, was one neither to be bullied nor cajoled. But what should
she say to him?

'My dear, I think it is duty,' she ventured at last. 'Everybody must be
put here to do something.'

'What is he put here to do, mamma? That is the very question.'

Pitt was not excited, he showed no heat; he spoke in the quiet, calm
tones of a person long familiar with the thoughts to which he gave
utterance; indeed, alarmingly suggestive that he had made up his mind
about them.

'Pitt, why do you not speak to a clergyman? He could set you right
better than I can.'

'I have, mamma.'

'To what clergyman?'

'To Dr. Calcott of Oxford, and to Dr. Plympton, the rector of the
church to which Uncle Strahan goes.'

'What did they say?'

'Dr. Calcott said I had been studying too hard, and wanted a little
distraction; he thought I was morbid, and warned me against possible
listening to Methodists. Said I was a good fellow, only it was a
mistake to try to be _too_ good; the consequence would be a break-down.
Whether physical or moral, he did not say; I was left to apprehend
both.'

'That is very much as I think myself, only not the fear of break-downs.
I see no signs of that in you, my boy. What did the other, Dr.--whom
did you say?--what did he tell you?'

'Dr. Plympton. He said he did not understand what I would be at.'

'I agree with him too,' said Mrs. Dallas, laughing a little. Pitt did
not laugh.

'I quoted some words to him out of the Bible, and he said he did not
know what they meant.'

'I should think he ought to know.'

'So I thought. But he said it was for the Church to decide what they
meant.'

Mrs. Dallas was greatly at a loss, and growing more and more uneasy.
Pitt went on in such a quiet, meditative way, not asking help of her,
and, she fancied, not intending to ask it of anybody. Suddenly,
however, he lifted his head and turned himself far enough round to
enable him to look in her face.

'Mother,' said he, 'what do you think those words mean in one of the
psalms,--"Thou hast made me exceeding glad with thy countenance"?'

'Are they in the Psalms? I do not know.'

'You have read them a thousand times! In the psalter translation the
wording is a little different, but it comes to the same thing.'

'I never knew what they meant, my boy. There are a great many things in
the Bible that we cannot understand.'

'But is this one of them? "Exceeding glad--_with thy countenance_."
David knew what he meant.'

'The Psalmist was inspired. Of course he understood a great many things
which we do not.'

'We ought to understand some things that he did not, I should think.
But this is a bit of personal experience--not abstruse teaching. David
was "exceeding glad"--and what made him glad? that I want to know.'

Pitt's thoughts were busy with the innocent letter he had once
received, in which a young and unlearned girl had given precisely the
same testimony as the inspired royal singer. Precisely the same. And
surely what Esther had found, another could find, and he might find.
But while he was musing, Mrs. Dallas grew more and more uneasy. She
knew better than to try the force of persuasion upon her son. It would
not avail; and Mrs. Dallas was a proud woman, too proud to ask what
would not be granted, or to resist forcefully what she might not resist
successfully. She never withstood her husband's plans, or asked him to
change them, except in cases when she knew her opposition could be made
effective; so it did not at all follow that she was pleased where she
made no effort to hinder. It was the same in the case of her son,
though rarely proved until now. In the consciousness of her want of
power she was tempted to be a little vexed.

'My dear,' she said, 'what you say sounds to me very like Methodist
talk! They say the Methodists are spreading dreadfully.'

Pitt was silent, and then made a departure.

'How often I have wanted just the touch of these hands!' he said,
giving those he held a little squeeze. 'Mother, there is nothing in all
the world like them.'




CHAPTER XXIV.

_DISAPPOINTMENT_.


It was not till the little family were seated at the dinner-table, that
Pitt alluded to the object of his morning ramble.

'I went to see Colonel Gainsborough this morning,' he began; 'and to my
astonishment found the house shut up. What has become of him?'

'Gone away,' said his father shortly.

'Yes, that is plain; but where is he gone to?'

'New York.'

'New York! What took him away?'

'I believe a desire to put his daughter at school. A very sensible
desire.'

'To New York!' Pitt repeated. 'Why did you never mention it, mamma?'

'It never occurred to me to mention it. I did not suppose that the
matter was of any great interest to you.'

Mrs. Dallas had said just a word too much. Her last sentence set Pitt
to thinking.

'How long have they been gone?' he asked, after a short pause.

'Not long,' said Mr. Dallas carelessly. 'A few months, I believe.'

'A man told me you had bought the place?'

'Yes; it suited me to have it. The land is good, what there is of it.'

'But the house stands empty. What will you do with it?'

'Let it--as soon as anybody wants it.'

'Not much prospect of that, is there?'

'Not just now,' Mr. Dallas said drily.

There was a little pause again, and then Pitt asked,--

'Have you Colonel Gainsborough's address, sir?'

'No.'

'I suppose they have it at the post office.'

'They have not. Colonel Gainsborough was to have sent me his address,
when he knew himself what it would be, but he has never done so.'

'Is he living in the city, or out of it.'

'I have explained to you why I am unable to answer that question.'

'Why do you want to know, Pitt?' his mother imprudently asked.

'Because I have got to look them up, mother; and knowing whereabouts
they are would be rather a help, you see.'

'You have not got to look them up!' said his father gruffly. 'What
business is it of yours? If they were here, it would be all very well
for you to pay your respects to the colonel; it would be due; but as it
is, there is no obligation.'

'No obligation of civility. There is another, however.'

'What, then?'

'Of friendship, sir.'

'Nonsense. Friendship ought to keep you at home. There is no friendship
like that of a man's father and mother. Do you know what a piece of
time it would take for you to go to New York to look up a man who lives
you do not know where?--what a piece of your vacation?'

'More than I like to think of,' said Pitt; 'but it will have to be
done.'

'It will take you two days to get there, and two more days to get back,
merely for the journey; and how many do you want to spend in New York?'

'Must have two or three, at least. It will swallow up a week.'

'Out of your little vacation!' said his mother reproachfully. She was
angry and hurt, as near tears as she often came; but Mrs. Dallas was
not wont to show her discomfiture in that way.

'Yes, mother; I am very sorry.'

'Why do you care about seeing them?--care so much, I mean,' his father
inquired, with a keen side-glance at his son.

'I have made a promise, sir. I am bound to keep it.'

'What promise?' both parents demanded at once.

'To look after the daughter, in case of the father's death.'

'But he is not dead. He is well enough; as likely to live as I am.'

'How can I be sure of that? You have not heard from him for months, you
say.'

'I should have heard, if anything had happened to him.'

'That is not certain, either,' said Pitt, thinking that Esther's
applying to his father and mother in case of distress was more than
doubtful.

'How can you look after the daughter in the event of her father's
death? _You_ are not the person to do it,' said his mother.

'I am the person who have promised to do it,' said Pitt quietly. 'Never
mind, mother; you see I must go, and the sooner the better. I will take
the stage to-morrow morning.'

'You might wait and try first what a letter might do,' suggested his
father.

'Yes, sir; but you remember Colonel Gainsborough had very little to do
with the post office. He never received letters, and he had ceased
taking the London _Times_. My letter might lie weeks unclaimed. I must
go myself.'

And he went, and stayed a week away. It was a busy week; at least the
days in the city were busily filled. Pitt inquired at the post office;
but, as he more than half expected, nobody knew anything of Colonel
Gainsborough's address. One official had an impression he had heard the
name; that was all. Pitt beleaguered the post office, that is, he sat
down before it, figuratively, for really he sat down in it, and let
nobody go out or come in without his knowledge. It availed nothing.
Either Christopher did not at all make his appearance at the post
office during those days, or he came at some moment when Pitt was gone
to get a bit of luncheon; if he came, a stupid clerk did not heed him,
or a busy clerk overlooked him; all that is certain is, that Pitt saw
and heard nothing which led to the object of his quest. He made
inquiries elsewhere, wherever he could think it might be useful; but
the end was, he heard nothing. He stayed three days; he could stay no
longer, for his holiday was very exactly and narrowly measured out, and
he felt it not right to take any more of it from his father and mother.

The rest of the time they had him wholly to themselves, for Miss Frere
was hindered by some domestic event from keeping her promise to Mrs.
Dallas. She did not come. Pitt was glad of it; and, seeing they were
now free from the danger of Esther, his father and mother were glad of
it too. The days were untroubled by either fear or anxiety, while their
son made the sunshine of the house for them; and when he went away he
left them without a wish concerning him, but that they were going too.
For it was to be another two years before he would come again.

The record of those same summer months in the house on the bank of the
Hudson was somewhat different. Esther had her vacation too, which gave
her opportunity to finish everything in the arrangements at home for
which time had hitherto been lacking. The girl went softly round the
house, putting a touch of grace and prettiness upon every room. It
excited Mrs. Barker's honest admiration. Here it was a curtain; there
it was a set of toilet furniture; in another place a fresh chintz
cover; in a fourth, a rug that matched the carpet and hid an ugly darn
in it. Esther made all these things and did all these things herself;
they cost her father nothing, or next to nothing, and they did not even
ask for Mrs. Barker's time, and they were little things, but the effect
of them was not so. They gave the house that finished, comfortable,
home-like air, which nothing does give but the graceful touch of a
woman's fingers. Mrs. Barker admired; the colonel did not see what was
done; but Esther did not work for admiration. She was satisfying the
demand of her own nature, which in all things she had to do with called
for finish, fitness, and grace; her fingers were charmed fingers,
because the soul that governed them had itself such a charm, and worked
by its own standard, as a honey bee makes her cell. Indeed, the simile
of the honey bee would fit in more points than one; for the cell of the
little winged worker is not fuller of sweetness than the girl made all
her own particular domicile. If the whole truth must be told, however,
there was another thought stirring in her, as she hung her curtains and
laid her rugs; a half recognised thought, which gave a zest to every
additional touch of comfort or prettiness which she bestowed on the
house. She thought Pitt would be there, and she wanted the impression
made upon him to be the pleasantest possible. He would surely be there;
he was coming home; he would never let the vacation go by without
trying to find his old friends. It was a constant spring of pleasure to
Esther, that secret hope. She said nothing about it; her father, she
knew, did not care so much for Pitt Dallas as she did; but privately
she counted the days and measured the time, and went into countless
calculations for which she possessed no sufficient data. She knew that,
yet she could not help calculating. The whole summer was sweetened and
enlivened by these calculations, although indeed they were a little
like some of those sweets which bite the tongue.

But the summer went by, as we know, and nothing was seen of the
expected visitor. September came, and Esther almost counted the hours,
waking up in the morning with a beat of the heart, thinking, to-day he
may come! and lying down at night with a despairing sense that the time
was slipping away, and her only consolation that there was some yet
left. She said nothing about it; she watched the days of the vacation
all out, and went to school again towards the end of the month with a
heart very disappointed, and troubled besides by that feeling of
unknown and therefore unreachable hindrances, which is so tormenting.
Something the matter, and you do not know what and therefore you cannot
act to mend matters. Esther was sadly disappointed. Three years now,
and she had grown and he had changed,--must have changed,--and if the
old friendship were at all to be preserved, the friends ought to see
each other before the gap grew too wide, and before too many things
rushed in to fill it which might work separation and not union.
Esther's feelings were of the most innocent and childlike, but very
warm. Pitt had been very good to her; he had been like an elder
brother, and in that light she remembered him and wished for him. The
fact that she was a child no longer did not change all this. Esther had
lived alone with her father, and kept her simplicity.

Going to school might have damaged the simplicity, but somehow it did
not. Several reasons prevented. For one thing, she made no intimate
friends. She was kind to everybody, nobody was taken into her
confidence. Her nature was apart from theirs; one of those rare and few
whose fate it is for the most part to stand alone in the world; too
fine for the coarseness, too delicate for the rudeness, too noble for
the pettiness of those around them, even though they be not more coarse
or rude or small-minded than the generality of mankind. Sympathy is
broken, and full communion impossible. It is the penalty of eminence to
put its possessor apart. I have seen a lily stand so in a bed of other
flowers; a perfect specimen; in form and colouring and grace of
carriage distinguished by a faultless beauty; carrying its elegant head
a little bent, modest, but yet lofty above all the rest of the flower
bed. Not with the loftiness of inches, however, for it was of lower
stature than many around it; the elevation of which I speak was moral
and spiritual. And so it was alone. The rest of the flowers were more
or less fellows; this one in its apart elegance owned no social
communion with them. Esther was a little like that among her school
friends; and though invariably gracious and pleasant in her manners,
she was instinctively felt to be different from the rest. Only Esther
was a white lily; the one I tried to describe, or did not try to
describe, was a red one.

Besides this element of separateness, Esther was very much absorbed in
her work. Not seeking, like most of the others, to pass a good
examination, but studying in the love of learning, and with a far-off
ideal of attainment in her mind with which she hoped one day to meet
Pitt, and satisfy if not equal him. I think she hardly knew this motive
at work; however, it _was_ at work, and a powerful motive too.

And lastly, Esther was a 'favourite.' No help for it; she was certainly
a favourite, the girls pronounced, and some of them had the candour to
add that they did not see how she could help it, or how Miss Fairbairn
could help it either.

'Girls, she has every right to be a favourite,' one of them set forth.

'Nobody has a right to be a favourite!' was the counter cry.

'But think, she never does anything wrong.'

'Stupid!'

'Well, she never breaks rules, does she?'

'No.'

'And she always has her lessons perfect as perfect can be.'

'So do some other people.'

'And her drawings are capital.'

'That's her nature; she has a talent for drawing; she cannot help it.
She just _cannot help_ it, Sarah Simpson. That's no credit.'

'Then she is the best Bible scholar in the house, except Miss Fairbairn
herself.'

'Ah! There you've got it. That's just it. She is one of Miss
Fairbairn's kind. But everybody can't be like that!' cried the
objector. 'I, for instance. I don't care so much for the Bible, you
see; and _you_ don't if you'll tell the truth; and most of us don't.
It's an awful bore, that's what it is, all this eternal Bible work! and
I don't think it's fair. It isn't what _I_ came here for, I know. My
father didn't think he was sending me to a Sunday school.'

'Miss Fairbairn takes care you should learn something else besides
Bible, Belle Linders, to do her justice.'

'Well, she's like all the rest, she has favourites, and Esther
Gainsborough is one of 'em, and there ought to be no favourites. I tell
you, she puts me out, that's what she does. If I am sent out of the
room on an errand, I am sure to hit my foot against something, just
because _she_ never stumbles; and the door falls out of my hand and
makes a noise, just because I am thinking how it behaves for her. She
just puts me out, I give you my word. It confuses me in my recitations,
to know that _she_ has the answer ready, if I miss; and as for drawing,
it's no use to try, because she will be sure to do it better. There
ought to be no such thing as favourites!'

There was some laughter at this harangue, but no contradiction of its
statements. Perhaps Esther was more highly gifted than any of her
fellows; beyond question she worked harder. She had motives that
wrought upon none of them; the idea of equalling or at least of
satisfying Pitt, and the feeling that her father was sacrificing a
great deal for her sake, and that she must do her very utmost by way of
honouring and rewarding his kindness. Besides still another and loftier
feeling, that she was the Lord's servant, and that less than the very
best she could do was not service good enough for him.

'Papa,' she said one evening in October, 'don't you think Pitt must
have come and gone before now?'

'William Dallas? If he has come, he is gone, certainly.'

'Papa, do you think he _can_ have come?'

'Why not?'

'Because he has not been to see us.'

'My dear, that is nothing; there is no special reason why he should
come to see us.'

'Oh, papa!' cried Esther, dismayed.

'My dear, you have put too much water in my tea; I wish you would think
what you are about.'

Now Esther _had_ thought what she was about, and the tea was as nearly
as possible just as usual.

'Shall I mend it, papa?'

'You cannot mend it. Tea must be made right at first, if it is ever to
be right. And if it is _not_ right, it is not fit to be drunk.'

'I am very sorry, papa. I will try and have it perfect next time.'

It was plain her father did not share her anxiety about Pitt; he cared
nothing about the matter, whether he came or no. He did not think of
it. And Esther had been thinking of it every day for months, and many
times a day. She was hurt, and it made her feel alone. Esther had that
feeling rather often, for a girl of her age and sound health in every
respect, bodily and mental. The feeling was quite in accordance with
the facts of the case; only many girls at seventeen would not have
found it out. She was in school and in the midst of numbers for five
and a half days in the week; yet even there, as has been explained, she
was in a degree solitary; and both in school and at home Esther knew
the fact. At home the loneliness was intensified. Colonel Gainsborough
was always busy with his books; even at meal times he hardly came out
of them; and never, either at Seaforth or here, had he made himself the
companion of his daughter. He desired to know how she stood in her
school, and kept himself informed of what she was doing; what she might
be _feeling_ he never inquired. It was all right, he thought;
everything was going right, except that he was such an invalid and so
left to himself. If asked by _whom_ he was left to himself, he would
have said, by his family and his country and the world generally. His
family and his country might probably have charged that the neglect was
mutual, and the world at large could hardly be blamed for not taking up
the old soldier whom it did not know, and making much of him. The care
which was failing from all three he got from his daughter in full
measure, but she got little from him. It was not strange that her
thoughts went fondly to Pitt, who _had_ taken care of her and helped
her and been good to her. Was it all over? and no more such kindly
ministry and delightful sympathy to be ever hoped for any more? Had
Pitt forgotten her? It gave Esther pain, that nobody guessed, to be
obliged to moot this question; and it busied her a good deal. Sometimes
her thoughts went longingly back beyond Pitt Dallas to another face
that had always been loving to her; soft eyes and a tender hand that
were ever sure to bring sympathy and help. She could not much bear to
think of it. _That_ was all gone, and could not be called back again;
was her one other earthly friend gone too? Pitt had been so good to
her! and such a delightful teacher and helper and confidant. She
thought it strange that her father did not miss him; but after the one
great loss of his life, Colonel Gainsborough missed nobody any more.




CHAPTER XXV.

_A HEAD OF LETTUCE_.


One afternoon in the end of October, Esther, who had just come home
from school was laid hold of by Mrs. Barker with a face of grave
calculation.

'Miss Esther, will ye approve that I send Christopher over to that
market woman's to get a head o' lettuce for the colonel's supper?
There's nought in the house but a bit o' cold green tongue, savin', of
course, the morrow's dinner. I thought he might fancy a salad.'

'Tongue?' said Esther. 'Haven't you a quail, or a sweetbread, or
something of that sort?'

'I haven't it, Miss Esther; and that's the truth.'

'Forgotten?' said Esther, smiling.

'Mum, I couldn't forget the likes o' that,' Barker said solemnly.
'Which I mean, as I haven't that to own up to. No, mum, I didn't
forget.'

'What's the matter, then? some carelessness of Christopher's. Yes, have
a salad; that will do very well.'

'Then, mum,' said Barker still more constrainedly, 'could you perhaps
let me have a sixpence? I don't like to send and ask a stranger like
that to wait for what's no more'n twopence at home.'

'Wait?' repeated Esther. 'Didn't papa give you money for the
housekeeping this week?'

'Miss Esther, he did; but--I haven't a cent.'

'Why? He did not give you as much as usual?'

The housekeeper hesitated, with a troubled face.

'Miss Esther, he did give me as much as usual,--I would say, as much as
he uses to give me nowadays; but that ain't the old sum, and it ain't
possible to do the same things wi' it.' And Mrs. Barker looked
anxiously and doubtfully at her young mistress. 'I wouldn't like to
tell ye, mum; but in course ye must know, or ye'd maybe be doubtful o'
_me_.'

'Of course I should know!' repeated Esther. 'Papa must have forgotten.
I will see about it. Give me a basket, Barker, and I will go over to
the garden myself and get a head of lettuce,--now, before I take my
things off. I would like to go.'

Seeing that she spoke truth, Mrs. Barker's scruples gave way. She
furnished the basket, and Esther set forth. There was but a field or
two to cross, intervening between her own ground and the slopes where
the beds of the market garden lay trim and neat in the sun. Or, rather,
to-day, in the warm, hazy, soft October light; the sun's rays could not
rightly get through the haze. It was one of the delicious times of
October weather, which the unlearned are wont to call Indian summer,
but which is not that, and differs from it essentially. The glory of
the Indian summer is wholly ethereal; it belongs to the light and the
air; and is a striking image and eloquent testimony of how far spirit
can overmaster matter. The earth is brown, the trees are bare; the
drapery and the colours of summer are all gone; and then comes the
Indian summer, and makes one forget that the foregoing summer had its
glories at all, so much greater is the glory now. There is no sense of
bareness any longer, and no missing of gay tints, nor of the song of
birds, nor of anything else in which June revelled and August showed
its rich maturity; only the light and the air, filling the world with
such unearthly loveliness that the looker-on holds his breath, and the
splendour of June is forgotten. This October day was not after such a
fashion; it was steeped in colour. Trees near at hand showed yellow and
purple and red; the distant Jersey shore was a strip of warm, sunburnt
tints, merged into one; over the river lay a sunny haze that was, as it
were, threaded with gold; as if the sun had gone to sleep there and was
in a dream; and mosses, and bushes, and lingering asters and
golden-rod, on rocks or at the edges of the fields near at hand, gave
the eye a welcome wherever it turned. Not a breath of air was stirring;
the landscape rested under a spell of peace.

Esther walked slowly, every step was so full of pleasure. The steps
were few, however, and her pleasure was mingled with an odd questioning
in her mind, what all this about money could mean? A little footpath
worn in the grass led her over the intervening fields to Mrs.
Blumenfeld's garden. Christopher must have worn that path, going and
coming; for the family had been supplied through the summer with milk
from the dairy of the gardener's wife. Mrs. Blumenfeld was out among
her beds of vegetables, Esther saw as she drew near; she climbed over
the fence, and in a few minutes was beside her.

'Wall, ef you ain't what I call a stranger!' said the woman
good-humouredly. 'I don't see you no more'n the angels, for all you're
so near!'

'I am going to school, Mrs. Blumenfeld; and that keeps me away from
home almost all the week. How do you do?'

'Dear me, I dursn't be anything but well,' said the gardener's widow.
'Ef I ain't at both ends o' everything, there ain't no middle to 'em.
There ain't a soul to be trusted, 'thout it's yourself. It's kind o'
tedious. I get to the wrong end o' my patience once in a while. Jest
look at them rospberry canes! and I set a man only yesterday to tie 'em
up. They ain't done nohow!'

'But your garden always looks beautiful.'

'Kin you see it from your windows? I want to know!'

'Not very much of it; but it always looks so bright and trim. It does
now.'

'Wall, you see,' said Mrs. Blumenfeld, 'a garden ain't nothin' ef it
ain't in order. I do despise shiftless ways! Now jes' see them
rospberry canes!'

'What's the matter with them?'

'I don't suppose you'd know ef I showed you,' said the good woman,
checking herself with a half laugh; 'and there ain't no need, as I
know, why I should bother you with my bothers. But it's human natur',
ain't it?'

'Is _what_ human nature?'

'Jes' that same. Or don't you never want to tell no one your troubles?
Maybe ye don't hev none?' she added, with an inquiring look into
Esther's face. 'Young folks!--the time for trouble hain't come yet.'

'Oh yes,' said Esther. 'I have known what trouble is.'

'Hev ye?' said the woman with another inquisitive look into the fair
face. 'Mebbe. There is folks that don't show what they goes through. I
guess I'm one o' that sort myself.'

'Are you?' said Esther, smiling. 'Certainly, to look at you, I never
should think your life had been very crooked or very rough. You always
seem bright and peaceful.'

It was true. Mrs. Blumenfeld had a quiet steady way with her, and both
face and voice partook of the same calm; though energy and activity
were at the same time as plainly manifested in every word and movement.
Esther looked at her now, as she went among her beds, stooping here and
there to remove a weed or pull off a decayed leaf, talking and using
her eyes at the same time. Her yellow hair was combed smooth and flat
at both sides of her head and knotted up firmly in a tight little
business knot behind. She wore a faded print dress and a shawl, also
faded, wrapped round her, and tied by the ends at the back; but both
shawl and gown were clean and whole, and gave her a thoroughly
respectable appearance. At Esther's last remark she raised herself up
and stood a moment silent.

'Wall,' she said, 'that's as fur as you kin see. It's ben both crooked
_and_ rough. I mayn't look it,--where's the use? And I don't talk of
it, for I've nobody to talk to; but, as I said, human natur' 'd like
to, ef it had a chance. I hain't a soul in the world to speak to; and
sometimes I feel as ef I'd give all I've got in the world to talk.
Then, mostly, I go into the garden and rout out the weeds. I tell you
they has to fly, those times!--But I believe folks was made to hev
company.'

'Have you no children?'

'Five of 'em, over there,' the woman said, pointing away, Esther could
only guess where, as it was not to the house. She was sorry she had
asked, and stood silent.

'Five of 'em,' Mrs. Blumenfeld repeated slowly. 'I had 'em,--and I
haven't 'em. And now, there is times when the world seems to me that
solitary that I'm a'most scared at myself.'

Esther stood still, with mute sympathy, afraid to speak.

'I s'pose, to you now, the world is all full o' friends?' the other
went on more lightly, turning from her own troubles, as it were.

'No,' said Esther gently; 'not at all. I am very much alone, and always
have been.'

'Mebbe you like it?'

'No, I do not like it. I sometimes wish very much for one or two
friends who are not here.'

There came a sigh from the bosom of the other woman, unwonted, and
tale-telling, and heavy.

'My marriage warn't happy,' she said, lower than her usual tone. 'I kin
manage the garden alone; and I'd jes' as lieve. Two minds about a thing
makes unpeace; and I set a great deal by peace. But it's awful lonely,
life is, now and then!'

'It is not that to me,' said Esther sympathizingly; she was eager to
speak, and yet doubtful just what to say. She fell back upon what
perhaps is the safest of all, her own experience. 'Life _used_ to be
like that to me--at one time,' she went on after a little pause. 'I was
very lonely and sad, and didn't know how I could live without comfort.
And then I got it; and as I got it, I think so may you.'

The woman looked at her, not in the least understanding what she would
be at, yet fascinated by the sympathy--which she read plainly
enough--and held by the beauty. By something besides beauty, too, which
she saw without being able to fathom it. For in Esther's eyes there was
the intense look of love and the fire of joy, and on her lips the
loveliest lines of tenderness were trembling. Mrs. Blumenfeld gazed at
her, but would almost as soon have addressed an angel, if one had stood
beside her with wings that proclaimed his heavenly descent.

'I'll tell you how I got comfort,' Esther went on, keeping carefully
away from anything that might seem like preaching. 'I was, as I tell
you, dark and miserable and hopeless. Then I came to know the Lord
Jesus; and it was just as if the sun had risen and filled all my life
with sunlight.'

The woman did not remove her eyes from Esther's face. 'I want to know!'
she said at last. 'I've heerd tell o' sich things;--but I never see no
one afore that hed the knowledge of 'em, like you seem to hev. I've
heerd parson talk.'

'This is not parson talk.'

'I see 'tain't. But what is it then? You see, I'm as stupid as a bumble
bee; I don't understand nothin' without it's druv into me--unless it's
my garden. Ef you ask me about cabbages, or early corn, I kin tell you.
But I don't know no more'n the dead what you are talkin' of.'

Esther's eyes filled with tender tears. 'I want you to know,' she said.
'I wish you could know!'

'How am I goin' to?'

'Do what I did. I prayed the Lord Jesus to let me know Him; I prayed
and prayed; and at last He came, and gave me what I asked for. And now,
I tell you, my life is all sunlight, because He is in it. Don't you
know, the Bible calls Him the Sun of righteousness! You only want to
see Him.'

'See Him!' echoed the woman. 'There's only one sun I kin see; and
that's the one that rises over in the east there and sets where he is
goin' to set now,--over the Jersey shore, across the river.'

'But when this other Sun rises in the heart, He never sets any more;
and we have nothing to do with darkness any more, when once we know
Him.'

'Know Him?' Mrs. Blumenfeld again repeated Esther's words. 'Why, you're
speaking of God, ain't you? You kin know a human critter like yourself;
but how kin you know Him?'

'I cannot tell,' said Esther; 'but He will come into your heart and
make you know Him. And when once you know Him, then, Mrs. Blumenfeld,
you'll not be alone any more, and life will not be dark any more; and
you will just grow happier and happier from day to day. And then comes
heaven.'

Mrs. Blumenfeld still gazed at her.

'I never heerd no sich talk in all my life!' she said. 'An' that's the
way you live now?'

Esther nodded.

'An' all you did was to ask for it?'

'Yes. But of course I studied the Bible, to find out what the Lord says
of Himself, and to find out what He tells me to do and to be. For of
course I must do His will, if I want Him to hear my prayers. You see
that.'

'I expect that means a good deal, don't it?'

'Yes.'

'Mebbe somethin' I wouldn't like to do.'

'You will like to do it, when once you know Him,' Esther said eagerly.
'That makes all the difference. You know, we always love to please
anybody that we love.'

The gardener's wife had become very thoughtful. She went along her
garden bed, stooping here to strip a decayed leaf from a cabbage, and
there to pick up a dry bean that had fallen out of its pod, or to pull
out a little weed from among her lettuces.

'I'm much obliged to you,' she said suddenly.

'You see,' said Esther, 'it is as free to you as to me. And why
shouldn't we be happy if we can?'

'But there's those commandments! that's what skeers me. You see, I'm a
kind o' self-willed woman.'

'It is nothing but joy, when once you know Him.'

'But you say I must _begin_ with doin' what's set down?'

'Certainly; as far as you know; or the Lord will not hear our prayers.'

'Wouldn't it do _after?_' said Mrs. Blumenfeld, raising herself up, and
again looking Esther in the face. There was an odd mixture in the
expression of her own, half serious, half keenly comic.

'It is not the Lord's way,' said Esther gravely. 'Seek Him and obey
Him, and you shall know. But if you cannot trust the Lord's word for so
much, there is no doing anything. Without faith it is impossible to
please Him.'

'I don't suppose you come here jes' fur to tell me all this,' said Mrs.
Blumenfeld, after again a pause, 'but I'm real obleeged to ye. What's
to go in that basket?'

'I brought it to see if you could let us have a head of lettuce. I see
you have some.'

'Yes; and crisp, and cool, and nice they be--just right. Wall, I guess
we kin. See here, that basket won't hold no more'n a bite for a bird;
mayn't I get you a bigger one?'

As Esther refused this, Mrs. Blumenfeld looked out her prettiest head
of lettuce, skillfully detached it from the soil, and insinuated it
into the little basket. But to the enquiry, how much was to pay, Mrs.
Blumenfeld returned a slight shake of the head.

'I should like to see myself takin' a cent from you! Jes' you send
over--or come! that's better--whenever you'd like a leaf o' salad, or
anythin' else; and if it's here, you shall hev it, and glad.'

'You are very kind!'

'Wall, no; I don't think that's my character. They'll all tell you I'm
honest. Wall, good-bye. An' come agin!' she cried after Esther. 'It's
more 'n likely I'll want some more talkin' to.'

Esther went home slowly and musing. The beauty around her, which she
had but half noticed at first coming out, now filled her with a great
delight. Or, rather, her heart was so full of gladness that it flowed
over upon all surrounding things. Sunny haze, and sweet smells of dry
leaves and moss, and a mass of all rich neutral tints in browns and
purples, just touched here and there for a painter's eye with a spot of
clear colour, a bit of gold, or a flare of flame--it all seemed to work
its way into Esther's heart and make it swell with pleasure. She stood
still to look across the river, which lay smooth like a misty mirror,
and gave only a rich, soft, indeterminate reflection of the other
shore. But the thoughts in Esther's mind were clear and distinct.
Lonely? Had she ever been lonely? What folly! How could any one be
lonely who had the knowledge of Christ and His presence? What
sufficient delight it was to know Him, and to love Him, and to be
always with Him, and always doing His will! If poor Mrs. Blumenfeld
only knew!




CHAPTER XXVI.

_WAYS AND MEANS_.


Esther walked slowly home, delivered her basket to Barker, and went to
her father. After the usual kiss and inquiry about how the week had
been, he relapsed into his book; and she had to wait for a time to talk
of anything else. Esther sat down with a piece of fancy work, and held
her tongue till tea-time. The house was as still as if nobody lived in
it. The colonel occasionally turned a leaf; now and then a puff of gas
or a sudden jet of flame in the Liverpool coal fire gave a sort of
silent sound, rebuking the humanity that lived there. No noise was
heard from below stairs; the middle-aged and well-trained servants did
their work with the regularity and almost with the smoothness of
machines. It occurred to Esther anew that her life was excessively
quiet; and a thought of Pitt, and how good it would have been to see
him, arose again, as it had risen so many times. And then came the
thoughts of the afternoon. With Christ,--was not that enough? Doing His
will and having it--could she want anything more? Esther smiled to
herself. She wanted nothing more.

Barker came in with the tea-kettle, and the cold tongue and the salad
made the supper-table look very comfortable. She made the tea, and the
colonel put down his book.

'Do you never get tired of reading, papa?'

'Yes, my dear. One gets tired of everything!'

This was said with a discouraging half breath of a sigh.

'Then you might talk a little, for a change, papa.'

'Humph! Whom should I talk to?'

'Me, papa, for want of somebody else.'

This suggestion fell dead. The colonel took his toast and tried the
salad.

'Is it good, papa?' Esther asked, in despair at the silence.

'Yes, my dear, it is good. Vegetable salads are a little cold at this
time of year.'

'Papa, we were driven to it. Barker had not money enough this week to
get you a partridge. And she says it has happened several times lately
that you have forgotten to give her the usual amount for the week's
housekeeping.'

'Then she says wrong.'

'She told me, several times she has not had enough, sir.'

'In that she may be right.'

Esther paused, questioning what this might mean. She must know.

'Papa, do you mean you gave her insufficient money and knew it at the
time?'

'I knew it at the time.'

There was another interval, of greater length. Esther felt a little
chill creeping over her. Yet she must come to an understanding with her
father; that was quite indispensable.

'Papa, do you mean that it was inadvertence? Or was it necessity?'

'How could it be inadvertence, when I tell you I knew what I did?'

'But, papa'-- Esther's breath almost failed her. 'Papa, we are living
just as we always have lived?'

'Are we?'--somewhat drily.

'There is my schooling, of course'--

'And rent, and a horse to keep, and a different scale of market prices
from that which we had in Seaforth. Everything costs more here.'

'There was the money for the sale of the place,' said Esther vaguely.

'That was not a great deal, after all. It was a fair price, perhaps,
but less than the house and ground were worth. The interest of that
does not cover the greater outlay here.'

This was very dismayful, all the more because Colonel Gainsborough did
not come out frankly with the whole truth. Esther was left to guess
it,--to fear it,--to fancy it more than it was, perhaps. She felt that
she could not have things left in this in indeterminate way.

'Papa, I think it would be good that I should know just what the
difference is; so that I might know how to bring in our expenses within
the necessary limits.'

'I have not cyphered it out in figures. I cannot tell you precisely how
much my income is smaller than it used to be.'

'Can you tell me how much we ought to spend in a week, papa?--and then
we will spend no more.'

'Barker will know when I give it to her.'

The colonel had finished his tea and toast, which this evening he
certainly did not enjoy; and went back to his book and his sofa.
Though, indeed, he had not left his sofa, he went back to a reclining
position, and Esther moved the table away from him. She was bewildered.
She forgot to ring for Barker; she sat thinking how to bring the
expenses of the family within narrower limits. Possible things
alternated with impossible in her mind. She mused a good while.

'Papa,' she said, breaking the silence at last, 'do you think the air
suits you here?'

'No, I do not. I have no cause.'

'You were better at Seaforth?'

'Decidedly. My chest always feels here a certain oppression. I suppose
there is too much sea air.'

'Was not the sea quite as near them at Seaforth, and salt air quite as
much at hand?' Esther thought. However, as she did not put entire faith
in the truth of her father's conclusions, it was no use to question his
premises.

'Papa,' she said suddenly, 'suppose we go back to Seaforth?'

'Suppose nonsense!'

'No, sir; but I do not mean it as nonsense. I have had one year's
schooling--that will be invaluable to me; now with books I can go on by
myself. I can, indeed, papa, and will. You shall not need to be ashamed
of me.'

'You are talking foolishly, Esther.'

'I do not mean it foolishly, papa. If we have not the means to live
here, and if the Seaforth air is so much better for you, then there is
nothing to keep us here but my schooling; and that, as I tell you, I
can manage without. And I can manage right well, papa; I have got so
far that I can go on alone now. I am seventeen; I am not a child any
longer.'

There was a few minutes' silence, but probably that fact, that Esther
was a child no longer, impelled the colonel to show her a little more
consideration.

'Where would you go?' he asked, a trifle drily.

'Surely we could find a place, papa. Couldn't you, perhaps, buy back
the old house--the dear old house!--as Mr. Dallas took it to
accommodate you? I guess he would give it up again.'

'My dear, do not say "guess" in that very provincial fashion! I shall
not ask Mr. Dallas to play at buying and selling in such a way. It
would be trifling with him. I should be ashamed to do it. Besides, I
have no intention of going back to Sea forth till your education is
ended; and by that time--if I live to see that time--I shall have so
little of life left that it will not matter where I spend it.'

Esther did not know how to go on.

'Papa, could we not do without Buonaparte? I could get to school some
other way?'

'How?'

Esther pondered. 'Could I not arrange to go in Mrs. Blumenfeld's
waggon, when it goes in Monday morning?'

'Who is Mrs. Blumenfeld?'

'Why, papa, she is the woman that has the market garden over here. You
know.'

'Do I understand you aright?' said the colonel, laying his book down
for the moment and looking over at his daughter. 'Are you proposing to
go into town with the cabbages?'

'Papa, I do not mind. I would not mind at all, if it would be a relief
to you. Mrs. Blumenfeld's waggon is very neat.'

'My dear, I am surprised at you!'

'Papa, I would do _anything_, rather than give you trouble. And, after
all, I should be just as much myself, if I did go with the cabbages.'

'We will say no more about it, if you please,' said the colonel, taking
up his book again.

'One moment, papa! one word more. Papa, I am so afraid of doing
something I ought not. Can you not give me a hint, what sort of
proportion our expenditures ought to bear to our old ways?'

'There is the rent, and the keeping of the horse, to be made good.
Those are additions to our expenses; and there are no additions to my
income. You know now as much as I can tell you.'

The discussion was ended, and left Esther chilled and depressed. The
fact itself could be borne, she thought, if it were looked square in
the face, and met in the right spirit. As it was, she felt involved in
a mesh of uncertainty. The rent,--she knew how much that was,--no such
great matter; how much Buonaparte's keep amounted to she had no idea.
She would find out. But how to save even a very few hundred dollars,
even one or two hundred, by retrenchment of the daily expenses, Esther
did not see. Better, she thought, make some great change, cut off some
larger item of the household living, and so cover the deficit at once,
than spare a partridge here and a pound of meat there. That was a kind
of petty and vexing care which revolted her. Far better dispense with
Buonaparte at once, and go into town with the cabbages. It will be seen
that Esther as yet was not possessed of that which we call knowledge of
the world. It did not occur to her that the neighbourhood of the
cabbages would hurt her, though it might hurt her fastidious taste. It
would not hurt _her_, Esther thought; and what did the rest matter?
Anything but this pinching and sparing penny by penny. But if she drove
into town with the cabbages, that would only dispose of Buonaparte; the
other item--the rent--would remain unaccounted for. How should that be
made up?

Esther pondered, brooded, tired herself with thinking. She could not
talk to Barker about it, and there was no one else. Once more she felt
a little lonely and a good deal helpless, though energies were strong
within her to act, if she had known how to act. She mounted the stairs
to her room with an unusual slow step, and shut her door, but she had
brought her trouble in with her. Esther went to her window to look out,
as we all are so apt to do when some trouble seems too big for the
house to hold. There is a vague counsel-taking with nature, to which
one is impelled at such times; or is it sympathy-seeking? The sweet
October afternoon had passed into as sweet an evening, the hazy
stillness was unchanged, and through the haze the silver rays of a half
moon high in the heavens came with the tenderest touch and the most
gracious softness upon all earthly things. There was a vapourous
glitter on the water of the broad river, a dewy or hazy veil on the
land; the scene could not be imagined more witching fair or more
removed from any sort of discordance. Esther stood looking, and her
heart calmed down. She had been feeling distressed under the question
of ways and means; now it occurred to her, 'Take no thought for the
morrow, what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink; your Father knoweth
that ye have need of all these things.' And as the words came, Esther
shook off the trouble they condemn; shook it off her shoulders, as it
were, and left it lying. Still she felt alone, she wished for Pitt
Dallas, or for _somebody;_ she had no one but her father in all the
world, nor the hope of any one. And happy as she really was, yet the
human instinct would stir in Esther--the instinct that longs for
intercourse, sympathy, affection; somebody to talk to, to counsel with,
to share in her joys and sorrows and experiences generally. It is a
perfectly natural and justifiable desire; stronger, perhaps, in the
young than in the old, for the old know better how much and how little
society amounts to, and are not apt to have such violent longings in
general for anything. But also to the old, loving companionship is
inexpressibly precious; the best thing by far that this world contains
or this life knows. And Esther longed for it now, even till tears rose
and dimmed her sight, and made all the moonshiny landscape swim and
melt and be lost in the watery veil. But then, as the veil cleared and
the moonlight came into view again, came also other words into Esther's
mind,--'Be content with such things as ye have; for He hath said, I
will never leave thee nor forsake thee.'

She cleared away her tears and smiled to herself, in happy assurance
and wonder that she should have forgotten. And with that, other words
still came to her; words that had never seemed so exceeding sweet
before.

'None of them that trust in Him shall be desolate.'--That is a sure
promise. 'Fear not, Abraham; _I_ am thy shield, and thine exceeding
great reward.'--Probably, when this word was given, the father of the
faithful was labouring under the very same temptation, to think himself
alone and lonely. And the answer to his fears must be sufficient, or He
who spoke it would never have spoken it to him just at that time.

Esther stood a while at her window, thinking over these things, with a
rest and comfort of heart indescribable; and finally laid herself down
to rest with the last shadow gone from her spirit.

It could not be, however, but that the question returned the next day,
what was to be done? Expenses must not outrun incomings; that was a
fixed principle in Esther's mind, resting as well on honour as honesty.
Evidently, when the latter do not cover the former, one of two things
must be done; expenses must be lessened, or income increased. How to
manage the first, Esther had failed to find; and she hated the idea,
besides, of a penny-ha'penny economy. Could their incomings be added
to? By teaching! It flashed into Esther's mind with a disagreeable
illumination. Yes, that she could do, that she must do, if her father
would not go back to Seaforth. There was no other way. He could not
earn money; she must. If they continued to live in or near New York, it
must be on her part as a teacher in a school. The first thought of it
was not pleasant. Esther was tempted to wish they had never left
Seaforth, if the end of it was to be this. But after the first start of
revulsion she gathered herself together. It would put an end to all
their difficulties. It would be honourable work, and good work; and,
after all, _work_ in some sort is what everybody should have; nobody is
put here to be idle. Perhaps this pressure of circumstances was on
purpose to push her into the way that was meant for her; the way in
which it was the Lord's pleasure she should serve Him and the world.
And having got this view of it, Esther's last reluctance was gone. For,
you see, what was the Lord's pleasure was also hers.

Her heart grew quite light again. She saw what she had to do. But for
the first, the thing was, to go as far in her learning as her father
desired her to go. She must finish her own schooling. And if Esther had
studied hard before, she studied harder now; applied herself with all
the power of her will to do her utmost in every line. It was not a
vague thought of satisfying Pitt Dallas that moved her now; but a very
definite purpose to take care of her father, and a ready joy to do the
will of Him whom Esther loved even better than her father.

The thought of Pitt Dallas, indeed, went into abeyance. Esther had
something else to do. And the summer had passed and he had not come;
that hope was over; and two years more must go by, according to the
plan which Esther knew, before he would come again. Before that time,
who could tell? Perhaps he would have forgotten them entirely.

It happened one day, putting some drawers in order, that Esther took up
an old book and carelessly opened it. Its leaves fell apart at a place
where there lay a dry flower. It was the sprig of red Cheiranthus; not
faded; still with its velvety petals rich tinted, and still giving
forth the faint sweet fragrance which belongs to the flower. It gave
Esther a thrill. It was the remaining fragment of Pitt's Christmas
bouquet, which she had loved and cherished to the last leaf as long as
she could. She remembered all about it. Her father had made her burn
all the rest; this blossom only had escaped, without her knowledge at
the time. The sight of it went to her heart. She stood still by her
chest of drawers with the open book in her hand, gazing at the
wallflower in its persistent beauty. All came back to her: Seaforth,
her childish days, Pitt and her love for him, and his goodness to her;
the sorrow and the joy of that old time; and more and more the dry
flower struck her heart. Why had her father wanted her to burn the
others? why had she kept this? And what was the use of keeping it now?
When anything, be it a flower, be it a memory, which has been fresh and
sweet, loses altogether its beauty and its savour, what is the good of
still keeping it to look at? Truly the flower had not lost either
beauty or savour; but the memory that belonged to it? what had become
of that? Pitt let himself no more be heard from; why should this little
place-keeper be allowed to remain any longer? Would it not be wiser to
give it up, and let the wallflower go the way of its former companions?
Esther half thought so; almost made the motion to throw it in the fire;
but yet she could not. She could not quite do it. Maybe there was an
explanation; perhaps Pitt would come next time, when another two years
had rolled away, and tell them all about it. At any rate, she would
wait.

She shut up the book again carefully, and put it safely away.




CHAPTER XXVII.

_ONIONS_.


It seemed very inexplicable to Esther that Pitt was never heard from.
Not a scrap of a letter had they had from him since they came to New
York. Mr. Dallas, the elder, had written once or twice, mostly on
business, and said nothing about his son. That was all. Mrs. Dallas
never wrote. Esther would have been yet more bewildered if she had
known that the lady had been in New York two or three times, and not
merely passing through, but staying to do shopping. Happily she had no
suspicion of this.

One day, late in the autumn, Christopher Bounder went over to Mrs.
Blumenfeld's garden. It lay in pretty fall order, trim and clean;
bushes pruned, canes tied up, vines laid down, leaves raked off; all
the work done, up to the very day. Christopher bestowed an approving
glance around him as he went among the beds; it was all right and
ship-shape. Nobody was visible at the moment; and he passed on round
the house to the rear, from whence he heard a great racket made by the
voices of poultry. And there they were; as soon as he turned the corner
he saw them: a large flock of hens and chickens, geese, ducks and
turkeys, all wobbling and squabbling. In the midst of them stood the
gardener's widow, with her hands in the pockets of a great canvas
apron; or rather, with her hands in and out, for from the pockets,
which were something enormous, she was fetching and distributing
handfulls of oats and corn to her feathered beneficiaries. Christopher
drew near, as near as he could, for the turkeys, and Mrs. Blumenfeld
gave him a nod.

'Good morning, mum!'

'Good day to ye.'

'Them's a fine lot o' turkeys!' Christopher really had a good deal of
education, and even knew some Latin; nevertheless, in common life, the
instincts of his early habits prevailed, and he said 'Them' by
preference.

'Ain't they!' rejoined Mrs. Blumenfeld. 'They had ought to be, for
they've given me plague enough. Every spring I think it's the last
turkeys I'll raise; and every winter, jes' as regular, I think it 'ud
be well to set more turkey eggs next year than I did this'n. You see, a
good fat roast turkey is what you can't beat--not in this country.'

'Nor can't equal in England, without you go to the game covers for it.
They're for the market, I s'pose?'

'Wall, I calkilate to send some on 'em. I do kill a turkey once in a
while for myself, but la, how long do ye think it takes me to eat up a
turkey? I get sick of it afore I'm done.'

'You want company,' suggested Mr. Bounder.

But to this the lady made no answer at all. She finished scattering her
grain, and then turned to her visitor, ready for business. Christopher
could not but look at her with great approbation. She was dressed much
as Esther had seen her a few weeks before: a warm shawl wrapped and
tied around the upper part of her person, bareheaded, hair in neat and
tight order, and her hands in her capacious pockets.

'Now, I kin attend to ye,' she said, leaving the chickens and geese,
which for the present were quiet, picking up their breakfast. But Mr.
Bounder did not go immediately to business.

'That's a capital notion of an apron!' he said admiringly.

'Ain't it!' she answered. 'Oh, I'm great on notions. I believe in
savin' yourself all the trouble you kin, provided you don't lose no
time by it. There is folks, you know, that air soft-headed enough to
think they kin git rid o' trouble by losin' their time. I ain't o' that
sort.'

'I should say, you have none o' that sort o' people about you.'

'Wall, I don't--not ef I kin help it. Anyhow, ef I get 'em I contrive
to lose 'em agin. But what was you wantin'?'

'I came to see if you could let us have our winter's onions? White
onions, you know. It's all the sort we can do with, up at the house.'

'Onions!' said Mrs. Blumenfeld. 'Why hain't you riz your own onions, I
want to know? You've got a garden.'

'That is true, mum,' said Christopher; 'but all the onions as was in it
is gone.'

'Then you didn't plant enough.'

'And that's true too,' said Christopher; 'but I can't say as I takes
any blame to myself for it.'

'Sakes alive, man! ain't you the gardener?'

'At your service, mum.'

'Wall, then, why, when you were about it, why didn't you sow your seeds
accordin' to your needs?'

'I sowed all the seed I had.'

'All you had!' cried the little woman. 'That sounds kind o' shiftless;
and I don't take you for that sort of a man neither, Mr. Bounder.'

'Much obleeged for your good opinion, mum.'

'Then why didn't you git more onion seed, du tell, when you knowed you
hadn't enough?'

'As I said, mum, I am much obleeged for your good opinion, which I hope
I deserve. There is reasons which must determine a man, upon occasion,
to do what you would not approve--unless you also knowed the reasons.'

This sounded oracular. The two stood and looked at one another.
Christopher explained himself no further; however, Mrs. Blumenfeld's
understanding appeared to improve. She looked first inquisitive, and
then intelligent.

'That comes kind o' hard upon me, at the end,' she said with a somewhat
humorous expression. 'You see, I've made a vow-- You believe in vows,
Mr. Bounder?'

'I do, mum,--of the right sort.'

'I don't make no other. Wall, I've made a vow to myself, you see. Look
here; what do you call that saint o' your'n? up to your house.'

'I don't follow you, mum,' said Christopher, a good deal mystified.

'You know you've got a saint there, I s'pose. What's her name? that's
what I want to know.'

'Do you mean Miss Esther?'

'Ah! that's it. I never heerd of a Saint Esther. There was an Esther in
the Bible--I'll tell you! she was a Queen Esther; and that fits. Ain't
she a kind o' a queen! But she's t'other thing too. Look here, Mr.
Bounder; be you all saints up to your house?'

'Well, no, mum, not exactly; that's not altogether the description I'd
give of some of us, if I was stating my opinion.'

'Don't you think you had ought to be that?'

'Perhaps we ought,' said Christopher, with wondering slow admission.

'I kin tell you. There ain't no question about it. Folks had ought to
live up to their privileges; an' you've got a pattern there right afore
your eyes. I hev no opinion of you, ef you ain't all better'n common
folks. I'd be, I know, ef I lived a bit where she was.'

'It's different with a young lady,' Christopher began.

'Why is it different?' said the woman sharply. 'You and me, we've got
as good right to be saints as she has, or anybody. I tell you I've made
a vow. _I_ ain't no saint, but I'm agoin' to sell her no onions.'

'Mum!' said Christopher, astounded.

'Nor nothin' else,' Mrs. Blumenfeld went on. 'How many d'ye want?'

Mr. Bounder's wits were not quick enough to follow these sharp Yankee
turns. Like the ships his countrymen build, he could not come about so
quick. It is curious how the qualities of people's minds get into their
shipbuilding and other handicraft. It was not till Mrs. Blumenfeld had
repeated her question that he was able to answer it.

'I suppose, mum, a half a bushel wouldn't be no more'n enough to go
through with.'

'Wall, I've got some,' the gardener's widow went on; 'the right sort;
white, and as soft as cream, and as sweet as onions kin be. I'll send
you up a bag of 'em.'

'But then I must be allowed to pay for 'em,' said Christopher.

'I tell you, I won't sell her nothin'--neither onions nor nothin' else.'

'Then, mum,--it's very handsome of you, mum; that I must say, and won't
deny--but in that case I am afraid Miss Esther would prefer that I
should get the onions somewheres else.'

'Jes' you hold your tongue about it, an' I'll send up the sass; and ef
your Queen Esther says anything, you tell her it's all paid for. What
else do you want that's my way?'

While she spoke, Mrs. Blumenfeld was carefully detaching a root of
celery from the rich loose soil which enveloped it, and shaking the
white stalks free from their encumbrance, Mr. Bounder the while looking
on approvingly, both at the celery, which was beautifully long and
white and delicate, and at the condition of things generally on the
ground, all of which his eye took in; although he was too much of a
magnate in his own line to express the approval he felt.

'There!' said Mrs. Blumenfeld, eyeing her celery stalks; 'kin you beat
that where you come from?'

'It's very fair,' said Christopher--'very fair. But England can beat
the world, mum, in gardening and that. I suppose you can't expect it of
a new country like this.'

'Can't expect what? to beat the world? You jes' wait a bit, till you
see. You jes' only wait a bit.'

'What do you think of England and America going into partnership?'
asked Mr. Bounder, bending to pick up a refuse stem that Mrs.
Blumenfeld had rejected. 'Think we couldn't be a match for most things
u-nited?'

'I find myself a match for most things, as it is,' returned the lady
promptly.

'But you must want help sometimes?' said Christopher, with a sharp and
somewhat sly glance at her.

'When I do, I git it,--or I do without it.'

'That's when you can't get the right kind.'

'Jes' so.'

'It ain't for a man properly to say what he can do or what he can't do;
words is but breath, they say; and those as know a man can give a
pretty good guess what he's good for; but, however, when he's speakin'
to them as don't know him, perhaps it ain't no more but fair that he
should be allowed to speak for himself. Now if I say that accordin' to
the best o' my knowledge and belief, what I offer you _is_ the right
kind o' help, you won't think it's brag or bluster, I hope?'

'Why shouldn't I?' said the little woman. But Christopher thought the
tone of the words was not discouraging. 'They does allays practise
fence,' he thought to himself.

'Well, mum, if you hev ever been up to our place in the summer-time,
you may hev seen our garden; and to a lady o' your experience I needn't
to say no more.'

'Wall,' said Mrs. Blumenfeld, by way of conceding so much, 'I'll allow
Colonel Gainsborough has a pretty fair gardener, ef he _hes_ some
furrin notions.'

'I'll bring them furrin notions to your help, mum,' said Mr. Bounder
eagerly. 'I know my business as well as any man on this side or that
side either. It's no boastin' to say that.'

'Sounds somethin' like it. But what'll the colonel do without you, or
the colonel's garden? that's what I can't make out. Hev you and he hed
a falling out?' And the speaker raised herself up straight and looked
full at her visitor.

'There's nothin' like that possible!' said Mr. Bounder solemnly. 'The
colonel ain't agoin' to do without me, my woman. No more can't I do
with out the colonel, I may say. I've lived in the family now this
twenty year; and as long as I can grow spinach they ain't agoin' to eat
no other--without it's yours, mum,' Christopher added, with a change of
tone; 'or yours and mine. You see, the grounds is so near, that goin'
over to one ain't forsakin' the other; and the colonel, he hasn't
really space and place for a man that can do what I can do.'

'An' what is it you propose?'

'That you should take me, mum, for your head man.'

The two were standing now, quite still, looking into one another's
eyes; a little sly audacity in those of Christopher, while a smile
played about his lips that was both knowing and conciliating. Mrs.
Blumenfeld eyed him gravely, with the calm air of one who was quite his
match. Christopher could tell nothing from her face.

'I s'pose,' she said, 'you'll want ridiculous wages?'

'By no means, mum!' said Christopher, waving his hand. 'There never was
nothin' ridiculous about _you_. I'll punch anybody's head that says it.'

Mrs. Blumenfeld shook the last remnant of soil from the celery roots,
and handed the bunch to Christopher.

'There,' she said; 'you may take them along with you--you'll want 'em
for dinner. An' I'll send up the onions. An' the rest I'll think about.
Good day to ye!'

Christopher went home well content.




CHAPTER XXVIII.

_STRAWBERRIES_.


The winter passed, Esther hardly knew how. For her it was in a depth of
study; so absorbing that she only now and then and by minutes gave her
attention to anything else. Or perhaps I should say, her thoughts; for
certainly the colonel never lacked his ordinary care, which she gave
him morning and evening, and indeed all day, when she was at home, with
a tender punctuality which proved the utmost attention. But even while
ministering to him, Esther's head was apt to be running on problems of
geometry and ages of history and constructions of language. She was so
utterly engrossed with her work that she gave little heed to anything
else. She did notice that Pitt Dallas still sent them no reminders of
his existence; it sometimes occurred to her that the housekeeping in
the hands of Mrs. Barker was becoming more and more careful; but the
only way she saw to remedy that was the way she was pursuing; and she
went only the harder at her constructions and translations and
demonstrations. The colonel lived _his_ life without any apparent
change.

And so went weeks and months: winter passed and spring carne; spring
ran its course, and the school year at last was at an end. Esther came
home for the long vacation. And then one day, Mrs. Barker confided to
her reluctantly that the difficulties of her position were increasing.

'You ask me, why don't I get more strawberries, Miss Esther. My dear, I
can't do it.'

'Cannot get strawberries? But they are in great plenty now, and cheap.'

'Yes, mum, but there's so many other things, Miss Esther.' The
housekeeper looked distressed. Esther was startled, and hesitated.

'You mean you have not money, Barker? Papa does not give you enough?'

'He gives me the proper sum, Miss Esther, I'm certain; but I can't make
it do all it should do, to have things right and comfortable.'

'Do you have less than you used at the beginning of winter?'

'Yes, mum. I didn't want to trouble you, Miss Esther, for to be sure
you can't do nothin' to help it; but it's just growin' slimmer and
slimmer.'

'Never mind; I think I know how to mend matters by and by; if we can
only get along for a little further. We must have some things, and my
father likes fruit, you can get strawberries from Mrs. Blumenfeld down
here, can you not?'

'No, mum,' said the housekeeper, looking embarrassed. 'She won't sell
us nothin', that woman won't.'

'Will not sell us anything? I thought she was so kind. What is the
matter? Is there not a good understanding between her and us?'

'There's too good an understanding, mum, and that's the truth. We don't
want no favours from the likes o' her; and now Christopher'--

'What of Christopher?'

'Hain't he said nothin' to the colonel?'

'To papa? No. About what?'

'He's gone and made an ass o' himself, has Christopher,' said the
housekeeper, colouring with displeasure.

'Why? How? What has he done?'

'He hain't done nothin' yet, mum, but he's bound he will, do the
foolishest thing a man o' his years can do. An' he wants me to stan' by
and see him! I do lose my patience whiles where I can't find it. As if
Christopher hadn't enough to think of without that! Men is all just
creatures without the power o' thought and foresight.'

'Thought?--why, that is precisely what is supposed to be their
distinguishing privilege,' said Esther, a little inclined to laugh.
'And Christopher was always very foresighted.'

'He ain't now, then,' muttered his sister.

'What is he doing?'

'Miss Esther, that yellow-haired woman has got holt o' him.'

This was said with a certain solemnity, so that Esther was very much
bewildered, and most incoherent visions flew past her brain. She waited
dumbly for more.

'She has, mum,' the housekeeper repeated; 'and Christopher ain't a
babby no more, but he's took--that's what he is. I wish, Miss
Esther--as if that would do any good!--that we'd stayed in Seaforth,
where we was. I'm that provoked, I don't rightly know myself.
Christopher ain't a babby no more; but it seems that don't keep a man
from bein' wuss'n a fool.'

'Do you mean'--

'Yes 'm, that's what he has done; just that; and I might as well talk
to my spoons. I've knowed it a while, but I was purely ashamed to tell
you about it. I allays gave Christopher the respect belongin' to a man
o' sense, if he warn't in high places.'

'But what has he done?'

'Didn't I tell you, Miss Esther? That yellow-haired woman has got holt
of him.'

'Yellow-haired woman?'

'Yes, mum,--the gardener woman down here.'

'Is Christopher going to take service with _her?_'

'He don't call it that, mum. He speaks gay about bein' his own master.
I reckon he'll find two ain't as easy to manage as one! She knows what
she's about, that woman does, or my name ain't Sarah Barker.'

'Do you mean,' cried Esther,--'do you mean that he is going to _marry_
her?'

'That's what I've been tellin' you, mum, all along. He's goin' to many
her, that he is; and for as old as he is, that should know better.'

'Oh, but Christopher is not _old;_ that is nothing; he is young enough.
I did not think, though, he would have left us.'

'An' that, mum, is just what he's above all sure and certain he won't
do. I tell him, a man can't walk two ways to once; nor he can't serve
two masters, even if one of 'em is himself, which that yellow-haired
woman won't let come about. No, mum, he's certain sure he'll never
leave the colonel, mum; that ain't his meaning.'

Esther went silently away, thinking many things. She was more amused
than anything else, with the lightheartedness of youth; yet she
recognised the fact that this change might introduce other changes. At
any rate, it furnished an occasion for discussing several things with
her father. As usual, when she wanted a serious talk with the colonel,
she waited till the time when his attention would be turned from his
book to his cup of tea.

'Papa,' she began, after the second cup was on its way, 'have you heard
anything lately of Christopher's plans?'

'Christopher's plans? I did not know he had any plans,' said the
colonel drily.

'He has, papa,' said Esther, divided between a desire to laugh and a
feeling that after all there was something serious about the matter.
'Papa, Christopher has fallen in love.'

'Fallen in _what?_' shouted the colonel.

'Papa! please take it softly. Yes, papa, really; Christopher is going
to be married.'

'He has not asked my consent.'

'No, sir, but you know--Christopher is of age,' said Esther, unable to
maintain a gravity in any way corresponding to that on her father's
face.

'Don't talk folly! What do you mean?'

'He has arranged to marry Mrs. Blumenfeld, the woman who keeps the
market garden over here. He does not mean to leave us, papa; the places
are so near, you know. He thinks, I believe, he can manage both.'

'He is a fool!'

'Barker is very angry with him. But that does not help anything.'

'He is an ass!' repeated the colonel hotly. 'Well, that settles one
question.'

'What question, papa?

'We have done with Christopher. I want no half service. I suppose he
thinks he will make more money; and I am quite willing he should try.'

Esther could see that her father was much more seriously annoyed than
he chose to show; his tone indicated a very unusual amount of
disturbance. He turned from the table and took up his book.

'But, papa, how can we do without Christopher?'

There was no answer to this.

'I suppose he really has a great deal of time to spare; our garden
ground is so little, you know. He does not mean to leave us at all.'

'_I_ mean he shall!'

Esther sat silent and pondered. There were other things she wished to
speak about; was not this a good occasion? But she hesitated long how
to be gin. The colonel was not very deep in his book, she could see; he
was too much annoyed.

'Papa,' she said slowly after a while, 'are our circumstances any
better than they were?'

'Circumstances? what do you mean?'

'Money, papa; have we any more money than we had when we talked about
it last fall?'

'Where is it to come from?' said the colonel in the same short, dry
fashion. It was the fashion in which he was wont to treat unwelcome
subjects, and always drove Esther away from a theme, unless it were too
pressing to be avoided.

'Papa, you know I do not know where any of our money comes from, except
the interest on the price of the sale at Seaforth.'

'I do not know where any _more_ is to come from.'

'Then, papa, don't you think it would be good to let my schooling stop
here?'

'No.'

'Papa, I want to make a very serious proposition to you. Do not laugh
at me' (the colonel looked like anything but laughing), 'but listen to
me patiently. You know we _cannot_ go on permanently as we have done
this year, paying out more than we took in?'

'That is my affair.'

'But it is for my sake, papa, and so it comes home to me. Now this is
my proposal. I have really had schooling enough. Let me give lessons.'

'Let you do _what?_'

'Lessons, papa; let me give lessons. I have not spoken to Miss
Fairbairn, but I am almost sure she would be glad of me; one of her
teachers is going away. I could give lessons in Latin and French and
English and drawing, and still have time to study; and I think it would
make up perhaps all the deficiency in our income.'

The colonel looked at her. 'You have not spoken of this scheme to
anybody else?'

'No, sir; of course not.'

'Then, do not speak of it.'

'You do not approve of it, papa?'

'No. My purpose in giving you an education was not that you might be a
governess.'

'But, papa, it would not hurt me to be a governess for a while; it
would do me no sort of hurt; and it would help our finances. There is
another thing I could teach--mathematics.'

'I have settled that question,' said the colonel, going back to his
book.

'Papa,' said the girl after a pause, 'may I give lessons enough to pay
for the lessons that are given me?'

'No.'

'But, papa, it troubles me very much, the thought that we are living
beyond our means; and on my account.' And Esther now looked troubled.

'Leave all that to me.'

Well, it was all very well to say, 'Leave that to me;' but Esther had a
strong impression that matters of this sort, so left, would not meet
very thorough attention. There was an interval here of some length,
during which she was pondering and trying to get up her courage to go
on.

'Papa,'--she broke the silence doubtfully,--'I do not want to disturb
you, but I must speak a little more. Perhaps you can explain; I want to
understand things better. Papa, do you know Barker has still less money
now to do the marketing with than she had last year?'

'Well, what do you want explained?' The tone was dry and not
encouraging.

'Papa, she cannot get the things you want.'

'Do I complain?'

'No, sir, certainly; but--is this necessary?'

'Is what necessary?'

'Papa, she tells me she cannot get you the fruit you ought to have; you
are stinted in strawberries, and she has not money to buy raspberries.'

'Call Barker.'

The call was not necessary, for the housekeeper at this moment appeared
to take away the tea-things.

'Mrs. Barker,' said the colonel, 'you will understand that I do not
wish any fruit purchased for my table. Not until further orders.'

The housekeeper glanced at Esther, and answered with her decorous,
'Certainly, sir;' and with that, for the time, the discussion was ended.




CHAPTER XXIX.

_HAY AND OATS_.


But it is in the nature of this particular subject that the discussion
of it is apt to recur. Esther kept silence for some time, possessing
herself in patience as well as she could. Nothing more was said about
Christopher by anybody, and things went their old train, minus peaches,
to be sure, and also minus pears and plums and nuts and apples,
articles which Esther at least missed, whether her father did or not.
Then fish began to be missing.

'I thought, Miss Esther, dear,' said Mrs. Barker when this failure in
the _menu_ was mentioned to her,--'I thought maybe the colonel wouldn't
mind if he had a good soup, and the fish ain't so nourishin', they say,
as the meat of the land creatures. Is it because they drinks so much
water, Miss Esther?'

'But I think papa does not like to go without his fish.'

'Then he must have it, mum, to be sure; but I'm sure I don't just
rightly know how to procure it. It must be done, however.'

The housekeeper's face looked doubtful, notwithstanding her words of
assurance, and a vague fear seized her young mistress.

'Do not get anything you have not money to pay for, at any rate!' she
said impressively.

'Well, mum, and there it is!' cried the housekeeper. 'There is things
as cannot be dispensed with, in no gentleman's house. I thought maybe
fish needn't be counted among them things, but now it seems it must. I
may as well confess, Miss Esther; that last barrel o' flour ain't been
paid for yet.'

'Not paid for!' cried Esther in horror. 'How came that?'

'Well, mum, just that I hadn't the money. And bread must be had.'

'Not if it cannot be paid for! I would rather starve, if it comes to
that. You might have got a lesser quantity.'

'No, mum,' replied the housekeeper; 'you have to have the whole barrel
in the end; and if you get it by bits you pay every time for the
privilege. No, mum, that ain't no economy. It's one o' the things which
kills poor people; they has to pay for havin' every quart of onions
measured out to 'em. I'm afeard Christopher hain't had no money for his
hay and his oats that he's got latterly.'

'Hay and oats!' cried Esther. 'Would he get them without orders and
means?'

'I s'pose he thinks he has his orders from natur'. The horse can't be
let to go without his victuals, mum. And means Christopher hadn't,
more'n a quarter enough. What was he to do?'

Esther stood silent and pale, making no demonstration, but the more
profoundly moved and dismayed.

'An' what's harder on _my_ stomach than all the rest,' the housekeeper
went on, 'is that woman sendin' us milk.'

'That woman? Mrs. Blumenfeld?'

'Which it _was_ her name, mum.'

'_Was!_ You do not mean-- Is Christopher really married?'

'He says that, mum, and I suppose he knows. He's back and forth, and
don't live nowheres, as I tells him. And the milk comes plentiful, and
to be sure the colonel likes his glass of a mornin'; and curds, and
blancmange, and the like, I see he's no objection to; but thinks I to
myself, if he knowed, it wouldn't go down quite so easy.'

'If he knew what? Don't you pay for it?'

'I'd pay that, Miss Esther, if I paid nothin' else; but Christopher's
beyond my management and won't hear of no money, nor his wife neither,
he says. It's uncommon impudence, mum, that's what I think it is. Set
her up! to give us milk, and onions, and celery; and she would send
apples, only I dursn't put 'em on the table, being forbidden, and so I
tells Christopher.'

Esther was penetrated through and through with several feelings while
the housekeeper spoke; touched with the kindness manifested, but
terribly humbled that it should be needed, and that it should be
accepted. This must not go on; but, in the meantime, there was another
thing that needed mending.

'Have you been to see your new sister, Barker?'

'Me? That yellow-haired woman? No, mum; and have no desire.'

'It would be right to go, and to be very kind to her.'

'She's that independent, mum, she don't want no kindness. She's got her
man, and I wish her joy.'

'I am sure you may,' said Esther, half laughing. 'Christopher will
certainly make her a good husband. Hasn't he been a good brother?'

'Miss Esther,' said the housekeeper solemnly, 'the things is different.
It's my belief there ain't half a dozen men on the face o' the earth
that is fit to have wives, and one o' the half dozen I never see yet.
Christopher's a good brother, mum, as you say; as good as you'll find,
maybe,--I've nought against him as sich; but then, I ain't his wife,
and that makes all the differ. There's no tellin' what men don't expect
o' their wives, when once they've got 'em.'

'Expectations ought to be mutual, I should think,' said Esther, amused.
'But it would be the right thing for you to go and see Mrs. Bounder at
any rate, and to be very good to her; and you know, Barker, you always
like to do what is right.'

There was a sweet persuasiveness in the tone of the last words, which
at least silenced Mrs. Barker; and Esther went away to think what she
should say to her father. The time had come to speak in earnest, and
she must not let herself be silenced. Getting into debt on one hand,
and receiving charity on the other! Esther's pulses made a bound
whenever she thought of it. She must not put it _so_ to Colonel
Gainsborough. How should she put it? She knelt down and prayed for
wisdom, and then she went to the parlour. It was one Saturday afternoon
in the winter; school business in full course, and Esther's head and
hands very much taken up with her studies. The question of ways and
means had been crowded out of her very memory for weeks past; it came
with so much the sharper incisiveness now. She went in where her father
was reading, poked the fire, brushed up the hearth, finally faced the
business in hand.

'Papa, are you particularly busy? Might I interrupt you?'

'You _have_ interrupted me,' said the colonel, letting his hand with
the book sink to his side, and turning his face towards the speaker.
But he said it with a smile, and looked with pleased attention for what
was coming. His fair, graceful, dignified daughter was a constant
source of pride and satisfaction to him, though he gave little account
of the fact to himself, and made scarce any demonstration of it to her.
He saw that she was fair beyond most women, and that she had that
refined grace of carriage and manner which he valued as belonging to
the highest breeding. There was never anything careless about Esther's
appearance, or hasty about her movements, or anything that was not
sweet as balm in her words and looks. As she stood there now before
him, serious and purposeful, her head, which was set well back on her
shoulders, carried so daintily, and the beautiful eyes intent with
grave meaning amid their softness, Colonel Gainsborough's heart swelled
in his bosom, for the delight he had in her.

'What is it?' he asked. 'What do you want to say to me? All goes well
at school?'

'Oh yes, papa, as well as possible. It isn't that. But I am in a great
puzzle about things at home.'

'Ah! What things?'

'Papa, we want more money, or we need to make less expenditure. I must
consult you as to the which and the how.'

The colonel's face darkened. 'I see no necessity,' he answered.

'But I do, papa. I see it so clearly that I am forced to disturb you. I
am very sorry, but I must. I am sure the time has come for us to take
some decided measures. We cannot go on as we are going now.'

'I should like to ask, why not?'

'Because, papa--because the outlay and the income do not meet.'

'It seems to me that is rather my affair,' said the colonel coolly.

'Yes, papa,' said Esther, with a certain eagerness, 'I like it to be
your affair--only tell me what I ought to do.'

'Tell you what you ought to do about what?'

'How to pay as we go, papa,' she answered in a lower tone.

'It is very simple,' the colonel said, with some impatience. 'Let your
expenses be regulated by your means. In other words, do not get
anything you have not the money for.'

'I should like to follow that rule, papa; but'--

'Then follow it,' said the colonel, going back to his book, as if the
subject were dismissed.

'But, papa, there are some things one _must_ have.'

'Very well. Get those things. That is precisely what I mean.'

'Papa, flour is one of them.'

'Yes. Very well. What then?'

'Our last barrel of flour is not paid for.'

'Not paid for! Why not?'

'Barker could not, papa.'

'Barker should not have got it, then. I allow no debts.'

'But, papa, we must have bread, you know. That is one of the things
that one cannot do with out. What should she do?' Esther said gently.

'She could go to the baker's, I suppose, and get a loaf for the time.'

'But, papa, the bread costs twice as much that way; or one third more,
if not twice as much. I do not know the exact proportion; but I know it
is very greatly more expensive so.'

The colonel was well enough acquainted with details of the commissary
department to know it also. He was for a moment silenced.

'And, papa, Buonaparte, too, must eat; and his oats and hay are not
paid for.' It went sharp to Esther's heart to say the words, for she
knew how keenly they would go to her father's heart; but she was
standing in the breach, and must fight her fight. The colonel flew out
in hot displeasure; sometimes, as we all know, the readiest disguise of
pain.

'Who dared to get hay and oats in my name and leave it unpaid for?'

'Christopher had not the money, papa; and the horse must eat.'

'Not without my order!' said the colonel. 'I will send Christopher
about his own business. He should have come to me.'

There was a little pause here. The whole discussion was exceedingly
painful to Esther; yet it must be gone through, and it must be brought
to some practical conclusion. While she hesitated, the colonel began
again.

'Did you not tell me that the fellow had some ridiculous foolery with
the market woman over here?'

'I did not put it just so, papa, I think,' said Esther, smiling in
spite of her pain. 'Yes, he is married to her.'

'Married!' cried the colonel. '_Married_, do you say? Has he had the
impudence to do that?'

'Why not, sir? Why not Christopher as well as another man?'

'Because he is my servant, and had no permission from me to get married
while he was in my service. He did not _ask_ permission.'

'I suppose he dared not, papa. You know you are rather terrible when
you are displeased. But I think it is a good thing for us that he is
married. Mrs. Blumenfeld is a good woman, and Christopher is disposed
of, whatever we do.'

'Disposed of!' said the colonel. 'Yes! I have done with him. I want no
more of him.'

'Then, papa,' said Esther, sinking down on her knees beside her father,
and affectionately laying one hand on his knee, 'don't you see this
makes things easy for us? I have a proposition. Will you listen to it?'

'A proposition! Say on.'

'It is evident that we must take some step to bring our receipts and
expenses into harmony. Your going without fruit and fish will not do
it, papa; and I do not like that way of saving, besides. I had rather
make one large change--cut off one or two large things--than a
multitude of small ones. It is easier, and pleasanter. Now, so long as
we live in this house we are obliged to keep a horse; and so long as we
have a horse we must have Christopher, or some other man; and so long
as we keep a horse and a man we _must_ make this large outlay, that we
cannot afford. Papa, I propose we move into the city.'

'Move! Where?' asked the colonel, with a very unedified expression.

'We could find a house in the city somewhere, papa, from which I could
walk to Miss Fairbairn's. That could not be difficult.'

'Who is to find the house?'

'Could not you, papa? Buonaparte would take you all over; the driving
would not do you any harm.'

'I have no idea where to begin,' said the colonel, rubbing his head in
uneasy perplexity.

'I will find out that, papa. I will speak to Miss Fairbairn; she is a
great woman of business. She will tell me.'

The colonel still rubbed his head thoughtfully. Esther kept her
position, in readiness for some new objection. The next words, however,
surprised her.

'I have sometimes thought,'--the colonel's fingers were all the while
going through and through his hair; the action indicating, as such
actions do, the mental movement and condition, 'I have sometimes
thought lately that perhaps I was doing you a wrong in keeping you
here.'

'_Here_, papa?--in New York?'

'No. In America.'

'In America! Why, sir?'

'Your family, my family, are all on the other side. You would have
friends if you were there,--you would have opportunities,--you would
not be alone. And in case I am called away, you would be in good hands.
I do not know that I have the right to keep you here.'

'Papa, I like to be where you like to be. Do not think of that. Why did
we come away from England in the first place?'

The colonel was silent, with a gloomy brow.

'It was nothing better than a family quarrel,' he said.

'About what? Do you mind telling me, papa?'

'No, child; you ought to know. It was a quarrel on the subject of
religion.'

'How, sir?'

'Our family have been Independents from all time. But my father married
a second wife, belonging to the Church of England. She won him over to
her way of thinking. I was the only child of the first marriage; and
when I came home from India I found a houseful of younger brothers and
sisters, all belonging, of course, to the Establishment, and my father
with them. I was a kind of outlaw. The advancement of the family was
thought to depend very much on the stand I would take, as after my
father's death I would be the head of the family. At least my
stepmother made that a handle for her schemes; and she drove them so
successfully that at last my father declared he would disinherit me if
I refused to join him.'

'In being a Church of England man?'

'Yes.'

'But, papa, that was very unjust!'

'So I thought. But the injustice was done.'

'And you disinherited?'

'Yes.'

'Oh, papa! Just because you followed your own conscience!'

'Just because I held to the traditions of the family. We had _always_
been Independents--fought with Cromwell and suffered under the Stuarts.
I was not going to turn my back on a glorious record like that for any
possible advantages of place and favour.'

'What advantages, papa? I do not understand. You spoke of that before.'

'Yes,' said the colonel a little bitterly, 'in that particular my
stepmother was right. You little know the social disabilities under
which those lie in England who do not belong to the Established Church.
For policy, nobody should be a Dissenter.'

'Dissenter?' echoed Esther, the word awaking a long train of old
associations; and for a moment her thoughts wandered back to them.

'Yes,' the colonel went on; 'my father bade me follow him; but with
more than equal right I called on him to follow a long line of
ancestors. Rather hundreds than one!'

'Papa, in such a matter surely conscience is the only thing to follow,'
said Esther softly. 'You do not think a man ought to be either
Independent or Church of England, just because his fathers have set him
the example?'

'You do not think example and inheritance are anything?' said the
colonel.

'I think they are everything, for the right;--most precious!--but they
cannot decide the right. _That_ a man must do for himself, must he not?'

'Republican doctrine!' said the colonel bitterly. 'I suppose, after I
am gone, you will become a Church of England woman, just to prove to
yourself and others that you are not influenced by me!'

'Papa,' said Esther, half laughing, 'I do not think that is at all
likely; and I am sure you do not. And so that was the reason you came
away?'

'I could not stay there,' said the colonel, 'and see my young brother
in my place, and his mother ruling where your mother should by right
have ruled. They did not love me either,--why should they?--and I felt
more a stranger there than anywhere else. So I took the little property
that came to me from my mother, to which my father in his will had made
a small addition, and left England and home for ever.'

There was a pause of some length.

'Who is left there now, of the family?' Esther asked.

'I have not heard.'

'Do they never write to you?'

'Never.'

'Nor you to them, papa?'

'No. Since I came away there has been no intercourse whatever between
our families.'

'Oh, papa!'

'I am inclined to regret it now, for your sake.'

'I am not thinking of that. But, papa, it must be sixteen or seventeen
years now; isn't it?'

'Something like so much.'

'Oh, papa, do write to them! do write to them, and make it up. Do not
let the quarrel last any longer.'

'Write to them and make it up?' said the colonel, rubbing his head
again. In all his life Esther had hardly ever seen him do it before.
'They have forgotten me long ago; and I suppose they are all grown out
of my remembrance. But it might be better for you if we went home.'

'Never mind that, papa; that is not what I am thinking of. Why, who
could be better off than I am? But write and make it all up, papa; do!
It isn't good for families to live so in hostility. Do what you can to
make it up.'

The colonel sat silent, rubbing the hair of his head in every possible
direction, while Esther's fancy for a while busied itself with images
of an unknown crowd of relations that seemed to flit before her. How
strange it would be to have aunts and cousins; young and old family
friends, such as other girls had; instead of being so entirely set
apart by herself, as it were. It was fascinating, the mere idea. Not
that Esther felt her loneliness now; she was busy and healthy and
happy; yet this sudden vision made her realise that she _was_ alone.
How strange and how pleasant it would be to have a crowd of friends, of
one's own blood and name! She mused a little while over this picture,
and then came back to the practical present.

'Meanwhile, papa, what do you think of my plan? About getting a house
in the city, and giving up Buonaparte and his oats? Don't you think it
would be comfortable?'

The colonel considered the subject now in a quieter mood, discussed it
a little further, and finally agreed to drive into town and see what he
could find in the way of a house.




CHAPTER XXX.

_A HOUSE_.


Yet the colonel did not go. Days passed, and he did not go. Esther
ventured some gentle reminders, which had no effect. And the winter was
gone and the spring was come, before he made the first expedition to
the city in search of a house. Once started on his quest, it is true
the colonel carried it on vigorously, and made many journeys for it;
but they were all in vain. Rents in the city were found to be so much
higher than rents in the country as fully to neutralize the advantage
hoped for in a smaller household and the dismissal of the horse. Not a
dwelling could be found where this would not be true. The search was
finally given up; and things in the little family went on as they had
been going for some time past.

Esther at last, under stress of necessity, made fresh representations
to her father, and besought leave to give lessons. They were running
into debt, with no means of paying. It went sorely against the grain
with the colonel to give his consent; pride and tenderness both
rebelled; he hesitated long, but circumstances were too much for him.
He yielded at last, not with a groan, but with many groans.

'I came here to take care of you,' he said; 'and _this_ is the end of
it!'

'Don't take it so, papa,' cried Esther. 'I like to do it. It is not a
hardship.'

'_It_ is a hardship,' he retorted; 'and you will find it so. I find it
so now.'

'Even so, papa,' said the girl, with infinite sweetness; 'suppose it be
a hardship, the Lord has given it to me; and so long as I am sure it is
something He has given, I want no better. Indeed, papa, you know I
_could have_ no better.'

'I know nothing of the kind. You are talking folly.'

'No, papa, if you please. Just remember,--look here, papa,--here are
the words. Listen: "The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will
give grace and glory; _no good thing will he withhold from them that
walk uprightly_."'

'Do you mean to tell me,' said the colonel angrily, 'that--well, that
all the things that you have not just now, and ought to have, are not
good things?'

'Not good for me, or at least not the _best_, or I should have them.'

This answer was with a smile so absolutely shadowless, that the colonel
found nothing to answer but a groan, which was made up of pain and
pride and pleasure in inscrutable proportions.

The next step was to speak to Miss Fairbairn. That wise woman showed no
surprise, and did not distress Esther with any sympathy; she took it as
the most natural thing in the world that her favourite pupil should
wish to become a teacher; and promised her utmost help. In her own
school there was now no longer any opening; that chance was gone; but
she gave Esther a recommendation in person to the principal of another
establishment, where in consequence Miss Gainsborough found ready
acceptance.

And now indeed she felt herself a stranger, and found herself alone.
This was a different thing from her first entering school as a pupil.
And Esther began also presently to perceive that her father had not
been entirely wrong in his estimate of a teacher's position and
experiences. It is not a path of roses that such a one has to tread;
and even the love she may bear to those she teaches, and even the
genuine love of teaching them, do not avail to make it so. Woe to the
teacher who has not those two alleviations and helps to fall back upon!
Esther soon found both; and yet she gave her father credit for having
known more about the matter than she did. She was truly alone now; the
children loved her, but scattered away from her as soon as their tasks
were done; her fellow-teachers she scarcely saw--they were busy and
jaded; and with the world outside of school she had nothing to do. She
had never had much to do with it; yet at Miss Fairbairn's she had
sometimes a little taste of society that was of high order, and all in
the house had been at least well known to her and she to them, even if
no particular congeniality had drawn them together. She had lost all
that now. And it sometimes came over Esther in those days the thought
of her English aunts and cousins, as a vision of strange pleasantness.
To have plenty of friends and relations, of one's own blood, and
therefore inalienable; well-bred and refined and cultivated (whereby I
am afraid Esther's fancy made them a multiplication of Pitt
Dallas),--it looked very alluring! She went bravely about her work, and
did it beautifully, and was very contented in it, and relieved to be
earning money; yet these visions now and again would come over her
mind, bringing a kind of distant sunshiny glow with them, different
from the light that fell on that particular bit of life's pathway she
was treading just then. They came and went; what came and did not go
was Esther's consciousness that she was earning only a little money,
and that with that little she could not clear off all the debts that
had accrued and were constantly accruing. When she had paid the
butcher, the grocer's bill presented itself, and when she had after
some delay got rid of that, then came the need for a fresh supply of
coal. Esther spent nothing on her own dress that she could help, but
her father's was another matter, and tailors' charges she found were
heavy. She went bravely on; she was young and full of spirit, and she
was a Christian and full of confidence; nevertheless she did begin to
feel the worry of these petty, gnawing, money cares, which have broken
the heart of so many a woman before her. Moreover, another thing
demanded consideration. It was necessary, now that she had no longer a
home with Miss Fairbairn, that she should go into town and come back
every day, and, furthermore, as she was giving lessons in a school, no
circumstance of weather or anything else must hinder her being
absolutely punctual. Yet Esther foresaw that as the winter came on
again it would be very difficult sometimes to maintain this
punctuality; and it became clear to her that it would be almost
indispensable for them to move into town. If only a house could be
found!

Meantime Christopher went and came about the house, cultivated the
garden and took care of the horse and drove Esther to school, all just
as usual; his whilome master never having as yet said one word to him
on the subject of his marriage and consequent departure. Whether his
wages were paid him, Esther was anxiously doubtful; but she dared not
ask. I say 'whilome' master, for there is no doubt that Mr. Bounder in
these days felt that nobody was his master but himself. He did all his
duties faithfully, but then he took leave to cross the little field
which lay between his old home and his new, and to disappear for whole
spaces of time from the view of the colonel's family.

It was one evening in November. Mrs. Barker was just sitting down to
her tea, and Christopher was preparing himself to leave her. I should
remark that Mrs. Barker had called on the former Mrs. Blumenfeld, and
established civil relations between the houses.

'Won't you stay, Christopher?' asked his sister.

'No, thank ye. I've got a little woman over there, who's expecting me.'

'Does she set as good a table for you as I used to do? in those days
when I could?' the housekeeper added, with a sigh.

'Well, she ain't just up to some o' your arts,' said Christopher, with
a contented face, in which his blue eye twinkled with a little slyness;
'but I'll tell you what, she can cook a dish o' pot-pie that you can't
beat, nor nobody else; and her rye bread is just uncommon!'

'Rye bread!' said the housekeeper, with an utterance of disdain.

'I'll bring a loaf over,' said Christopher, nodding his head; 'and you
can give some to Miss Esther if you like. Good-night!'

He made few steps of it through the dark cold evening to the house that
had become his home. The room that received him might have pleased a
more difficult man. It was as clean as hands could make it; bright with
cleanliness, lighted and warmed with a glowing fire, and hopeful with a
most savoury scent of supper. The mistress of the house was busy about
her hearth, looking neat and comfortable enough to match her room. As
Christopher came in she lit a candle that stood on the supper-table.
Christopher hugged himself at this instance of his wife's thrift, and
sat down.

'You've got something that smells uncommon good there!' said he
approvingly.

'I allays du think a hot supper's comfortable at the end o' a cold
day,' returned the new Mrs. Bounder. 'I don't care what I du as long's
I'm busy with all the world all the day long; I kin take a piece and a
bite and go on, but when it comes night, and I hev time to think I'm
tired, then I like a good hot something or other.'

'What have you got there?' said Christopher, peering over at the dish
on the hearth which Mrs. Bounder was filling from a pot before the
fire. She laughed.

'You wouldn't be any wiser ef I told you. It's a little o' everything.
Give me a good garden, and I kin live as well as I want to, and cost no
one more'n a few shillin's, neither. 'Tain't difficult, ef you know
how. Now see what you say to that.'

She dished up her supper, put a plate of green pickles on the table,
filled up her tea-pot, and cut some slices from a beautiful brown loaf,
which must have rivalled the rye, though it was not that colour.
Christopher sat down, said grace reverently, and attacked the viands,
while the mistress poured him out a cup of tea.

'Christopher,' she said, as she handed it to him, 'I'd jes' like to ask
you something.'

'What is it?'

'I'd like to know jes' why you go through that performance?'

'Performance?' echoed Christopher. 'What are you talkin' about?'

'I mean, that bit of a prayer you think it is right to make whenever
you're goin' to put your fork to your mouth.'

'Oh! I couldn't imagine what you were driving at. Why do I do it?'

'I'd like to know, ef you think you kin tell.'

'Respectable folk always does it.'

'Hm! I don' know about that. So it's for respectability you keep it up?'

'No,' said Christopher, a little embarrassed how to answer. 'It's
proper. Don't you know the Bible bids us give thanks?'

'Wall, hev you set out to du all the rest o' the things the Bible bids
you du?--that's jes' what I'm comin' to.'

A surly man would not perhaps have answered at all, resenting this
catechizing; but Christopher was not surly, and not at all offended. He
was perplexed a little; looked at his wife in some sly wonder at her,
but answered not.

'Ef I began, I'd go through. I wouldn't make no half way with it;
that's all I was goin' to say,' his wife went on, with a grave face
that showed she was not jesting.

'It's saying a good deal!' remarked Christopher, still looking at her.

'It's sayin' a good deal, to make the first prayer; but ef I made the
first one, I'd make all the rest. I don't abide no half work in _my_
garden, Christopher; that's what I was thinkin'; and I don't believe
Him you pray to likes it no better.'

Christopher was utterly unprepared to go on with this subject; and
finally gave up trying, and attended to his supper. After a little
while his wife struck a new theme. She was not a trained rhetorician;
but when she had said what she had to say she was always contented to
stop.

'How are things going up your way to-day?' she asked.

'My way is down here, I'm happy to say.'

'Wall, up to the colonel's, then. What's the news?'

'Ain't no sort o' news. Never is. They're always at the old things. The
colonel he lies on his sofy, and Miss Esther she goes and comes. They
want to get a house in town, now she's goin' so regular, only they
can't find one to fit.'

'Kin't find a house? I thought there was houses enough in all New York.'

'Houses enough, but they all is set up so high in their rents, you see.'

'Is that the trouble?'

'That is exactly the trouble; and Miss Esther, I can see, she doesn't
know just what to do.'

'They ain't gittin' along well, Christopher?'

'Well, there is no doubt they ain't! I should say they was gettin' on
uncommon bad. Don't seem as if they could any way pay up all their
bills at once. They pay this man, and then run up a new score with some
other man. Miss Esther, she tries all she knows; but there ain't no one
to help her.'

'They git this house cheaper than they'd git any one in town, I guess.
They'd best stay where they be.'

'Yes, but you see, Miss Esther has to go and come every day now; she's
teachin' in a school, that's what she is,' said Christopher, letting
his voice drop as if he were speaking of some desecration. 'That's what
she is; and so she has to be there regular, rain or shine makes no
difference. An' if they was in town, you see, they wouldn't want the
horse, nor me.'

'_You_ don't cost 'em nothin'!' returned Mrs. Bounder.

'No; but they don't know that; and _if_ they knowed it, you see,
there'd be the devil to pay.'

'I wouldn't give myself bad names, ef I was you,' remarked Mrs. Bounder
quietly. 'Christopher'--

'What then?'

'I'm jes' thinkin''--

'What are you thinkin' about?'

'Jes' you wait till I know myself, and I'll tell ye.'

Christopher was silent, watching from time to time his spouse, who
seemed to be going on with her supper in orderly fashion. Mr. Bounder
was not misled by this, and watched curiously. He had acquired in a few
months a large respect for his wife. Her very unadorned attire, and her
peculiar way of knotting up her hair, did not hinder that he had a
great and growing value for her. Christopher would have liked her
certainly to dress better and to put on a cap; nevertheless, and odd as
it may seem, he was learning to be proud of his very independent wife,
and even boasted to his sister that she was a 'character.' Now he
waited for what was to come next.

'I guess I was a fool,' began Mrs. Bounder at last. 'But it came into
my head, ef they're in such a fix as you say, whether maybe they
wouldn't take up with my house. I guess, hardly likely.'

'_Your_ house?' inquired Christopher, in astonishment. But his wife
calmly nodded.

'_Your_ house!' repeated Christopher. 'Which one?'

'Wall, not this one, I guess,' said his wife quietly. 'But I've got one
in town.'

'A house in town! Why, I never heard of it before.'

'No, 'cause it's been standin' empty for a spell back, doin' nothin'.
Ef there had been rent comin' in, I guess you'd have heard of it. But
the last folks went out; and I hadn't found no one that suited me to
let hev it.'

'Would it do for the colonel and Miss Esther?'

'That's jes' what I don' know, Christopher. It would du as fur's the
rent goes; an' it's all right and tight. It won't let the rain in on
'em; I've kep' it in order.'

'I should like to see what you don't keep in order!' said Christopher
admiringly.

'Wall, I guess it's my imagination. For, come to think of it, it ain't
jes' sich a house as your folks are accustomed to.'

'The thing is,' said Christopher gravely, 'they can't have just what
they're accustomed to. Leastways I'm afeard they can't. I'll just speak
to Miss Esther about it.'

'Wall, you kin du that. 'Twon't du no harm. I allays think, when
anybody's grown poor he'd best take in his belt a little.'




CHAPTER XXXI.

_MAJOR STREET_.


According to the conclusion thus arrived at, Christopher took the
opportunity of speaking to Esther the very next time he was driving her
in from school. Esther immediately pricked up her ears, and demanded to
know where the house was situated. Christopher told her. It was a
street she was not acquainted with.

'Do you know how to find the place, Christopher?'

'Oh, yes, Miss Esther; I can find the place, to be sure; but I'm afraid
my little woman has made a mistake.'

'What is the rent?'

Christopher named the rent. It was less than what they were paying for
the house they at present occupied; and Esther at once ordered
Christopher to turn about and drive her to the spot.

It was certainly not a fashionable quarter, not even near Broadway or
State Street; nevertheless it was respectable, inhabited by decent
people. The house itself was a small wooden one. Now it is true that at
that day New York was a very different place from what it is at
present; and a wooden house, and even a small wooden house, did not
mean then what it means now; an abode of Irish washerwomen, or of
something still less distinguished. Yet Esther startled a little at the
thought of bringing her father and herself to inhabit it. Christopher
had the key; and he fastened Buonaparte, and let Esther in, and went
all over the house with her. It was in order, truly, as its owner had
said; even clean; and nothing was off the hinges or wanting paint or
needing plaster. 'Right and tight' it was, and susceptible of being
made an abode of comfort; yet it was a very humble dwelling,
comparatively, and in an insignificant neighbourhood; and Esther
hesitated. Was it pride? she asked herself. Why did she hesitate? Yet
she lingered over the place, doubting and questioning and almost
deciding it would not do. Then Christopher, I cannot tell whether
consciously or otherwise, threw in a makeweight that fell in the scale
that was threatening to rise.

'If you please, Miss Esther, would you speak to the master about the
blacksmith's bill? I don't hardly never see the colonel, these days.'

Esther faced round upon him. The word 'bill' always came to her now
like a sort of stab. She repeated his words. 'The blacksmith's bill?'

'Yes, mum; that is, Creasy, the blacksmith; just on the edge o' the
town. It's been runnin' along, 'cause I never could get sight o' the
colonel to speak to him about it.'

'Bill for what?'

'Shoes, mum.'

'_Shoes?_' repeated Esther. 'The blacksmith? What do you mean?'

'Shoes for Buonaparty, mum. He does kick off his shoes as fast as any
horse ever I see; and they does wear, mum, on the stones.'

'How much is the bill?'

'Well, mum,' said Christopher uneasily, 'it's been runnin' along--and
it's astonishin' how things does mount up. It's quite a good bit, mum;
it's nigh on to fifty dollars.'

It took away Esther's breath. She turned away, that Christopher might
not see her face, and began to look at the house as if a sudden new
light had fallen upon it. Small and mean, and unfit for Colonel
Gainsborough and his daughter,--that had been her judgment concerning
it five minutes before; but now it suddenly presented itself as a
refuge from distress. If they took it, the relief to their finances
would be immediate and effectual. There was a little bit of struggle in
Esther's mind; to give up their present home for this would involve a
loss of all the prettiness in which she had found such refreshment;
there would be here no river and no opposite shore, and no pleasant
country around with grass and trees and a flower garden. There would be
no garden at all, and no view, except of a very humdrum little street,
built up and inhabited by mechanics and tradespeople of a humble grade.
But then--no debt! And Esther remembered that in her daily prayer for
daily bread she had also asked to be enabled to 'owe no man anything.'
Was here the answer? And if this were the Lord's way for supplying her
necessities, should she refuse to accept it and to be thankful for it?

'It is getting late,' was Esther's conclusion as she turned away. 'We
had better get home, Christopher; but I think we will take the house. I
must speak to papa; but I think we will take it. You may tell Mrs.
Bounder so, with my thanks.'

It cost a little trouble, yet not much, to talk the colonel over. He
did not go to see the house, and Esther did not press that he should;
he took her report of it, which was an unvarnished one, and submitted
himself to what seemed the inevitable. But his daughter knew that her
task would have been harder if the colonel's imagination had had the
assistance of his eyesight. She was sure that the move must be made,
and if it were once effected she was almost sure she could make her
father comfortable. To combat his objections beforehand might have been
a more difficult matter. Esther found Mrs. Barker's dismay quite enough
to deal with. Indeed, the good woman was at first overwhelmed; and sat
down, the first time she was taken to the house, in a sort of despair,
with a face wan in its anxiety.

'What's the matter, Barker?' Esther said cheerily. 'You and I will soon
put this in nice order, with Christopher's help; and then, when we have
got it fitted up, we shall be as comfortable as ever; you will see.'

'Oh dear Miss Esther!' the housekeeper ejaculated; 'that ever I should
see this day! The like of you and my master!'

'What then?' said Esther, smiling. 'Barker, shall we not take what the
Lord gives us, and be thankful? I am.'

'There ain't no use for Christopher here, as I see,' Mrs. Barker went
on.

'No, and he will not be here. Do you see now how happy it is that he
has got a home of his own?--which you were disposed to think so
unfortunate.'

'I haven't changed my mind, mum,' said the housekeeper. 'How's your
horse goin' to be kep', without Christopher?'

'I am not going to keep the horse. Here I shall not need him.'

'The drives you took was very good for you, mum.'

'I will take walks instead. Don't you be troubled. Dear Barker, do you
not think our dear Lord knows what is good for us? and do you not think
what He chooses is the best? I do.'

Esther's face was very unshadowed, but the housekeeper's, on the
contrary, seemed to darken more and more. She stood in the middle of
the floor, in one of the small rooms, and surveyed the prospect,
alternately within and without the windows.

'Miss Esther, dear,' she began again, as if irrepressibly, 'you're
young, and you don't know how queer the world is. There's many folks
that won't believe you are what you be, if they see you are livin' in a
place like this.'

Did not Esther know that? and was it not one of the whispers in her
mind which she found it hardest to combat? She had begun already to
touch the world on that side on which Barker declared it was 'queer.'
She went, it is true, hardly at all into society; scarce ever left the
narrow track of her school routine; yet even there once or twice a
chance encounter had obliged her to recognise the fact that in taking
the post of a teacher she had stepped off the level of her former
associates. It had hurt her a little and disappointed her. Nobody,
indeed, had tried to be patronizing; that was nearly impossible towards
anybody whose head was set on her shoulders in the manner of Miss
Gainsborough's; but she felt the slighting regard in which low-bred
people held her on account of her work and position. And so large a
portion of the world is deficient in breeding, that to a young person
at least the desire of self-assertion comes as a very natural and
tolerably strong temptation. Esther had felt it, and trodden it under
foot, and yet Mrs. Barker's words made her wince. How could anybody
reasonably suppose that a gentleman would choose such a house and such
a street to live in?

'Never mind, Barker,' she said cheerfully, after a pause. 'What we have
to do is the right thing; and then let all the rest go.'

'Has the colonel seen it, Miss Esther?'

'No, and I do not mean he shall, till we have got it so nice for him
that he will feel comfortable.'

The work of moving and getting settled began without delay. Mrs. Barker
spent all the afternoons at the new house; and thither came Esther also
every day as soon as school was out at three o'clock. The girl worked
very hard in these times; for after her long morning in school she gave
the rest of the daylight hours to arranging and establishing furniture,
hanging draperies, putting up hooks, and the like; and after that she
went home to make her father's tea, and give him as much cheery talk as
she could command. In the business of moving, however, she found
unexpected assistance.

When Christopher told his wife of the decision about the house, the
answering remark, made approvingly, was, 'That's a spunky little girl!'

'What do you mean?' said Christopher, not approving such an irreverent
expression.

'She's got stuff in her. I like that sort.'

'But that house ain't really a place for her, you know.'

'That's what I'm lookin' at,' returned Mrs. Bounder, with a broad smile
at him. 'She ain't scared by no nonsense from duin' what she's got to
du. Don't you be scared neither; houses don't make the folks that live
in 'em. But what I'm thinkin' of is, they'll want lots o' help to git
along with their movin'. Christopher, do you know there's a big box
waggin in the barn?'

'I know it.'

'Wall, that'll carry their things fust-rate, ef you kin tackle up your
fine-steppin' French emperor there with our Dolly. Will he draw in
double harness?'

'Will he! Well, I'll try to persuade him.'

'An' you needn't to let on anything about it. They ain't obleeged to
know where the waggin comes from.'

'You're as clever a woman as any I know!' said Mr. Bounder, with a
smile of complacency. 'Sally up there can't beat you; and _she's_ a
smart woman, too.'

A few minutes were given to the business of the supper table, and then
Mrs. Bounder asked,--

'What are they goin' to du with the French emperor?'

'Buonaparte?' (Christopher called it 'Buonaparty.') 'Well, they'll have
to get rid of him somehow. I suppose that job'll come on me.'

'I was thinkin'. Our Dolly's gittin' old'--

'Buonaparty was old some time ago,' returned Christopher, with a sly
twinkle of his eyes as he looked at his wife.

'There's work in him yet, ain't there?'

'Lots!'

'Then two old ones would be as good as one young one, and better, for
they'd draw the double waggin. What'll they ask for him?'

'It'll be what I can get, I'm thinking.'

'What did you pay for him?'

Christopher named the sum the colonel had given. It was not a high
figure; however, he knew, and she knew, that a common draught horse for
their garden work could be had for something less. Mrs. Bounder
meditated a little, and finally concluded,--

'It won't break us.'

'Save me lots o' trouble,' said Christopher; 'if you don't mind paying
so much.'

'If _you_ don't mind, Christopher,' his wife returned, with a grin.
'I've got the money here in the house; you might hand it over to Miss
Esther to-morrow; I'll bet you she'll know what to du with it.'

Christopher nodded. 'She'll be uncommon glad of it, to be sure! There
ain't much cash come into her hands for a good bit. And I see sometimes
she's been real worrited.'

So Esther's path was smoothed in more ways than one, and even in more
ways than I have indicated. For Mrs. Bounder went over and insinuated
herself (with some difficulty) so far into Mrs. Barker's good graces
that she was allowed to give her help in the multifarious business and
cares of the moving. She was capital help. Mrs. Barker soon found that
any packing intrusted to her was sure to be safely done; and the little
woman's wits were of the first order, always at hand, cool, keen, and
comprehensive. She followed, or rather went with the waggon to the
house in Major Street; helped unpack, helped put down carpets, helped
clear away litter and arrange things in order; and further still, she
constantly brought something with her for the bodily refreshment and
comfort of Esther and the housekeeper. Her delicious rye bread came,
loaf after loaf, sweet butter, eggs, and at last some golden honey.
There was no hindering her; and her presence and ministry grew to be a
great assistance and pleasure also to Esther. Esther tried to tell her
something of this. 'You cannot think how your kindness has helped me,'
she said, with a look which told more than her words.

'Don't!' said Mrs. Bounder, when this had happened a second time. 'I
was readin' in the Bible the other day--you set me readin' the Bible,
Miss Esther--where it says somethin' about a good woman "ministerin' to
the saints." I ain't no saint myself, and I guess it'll never be said
of me; but I suppose the next thing to _bein'_ a saint is ministerin'
to the saints, and I'd like to du that anyhow, ef I only knowed how.'

'You have been kind ever since I knew you,' said Esther. 'I am glad to
know our Christopher has got such a good wife.'

Mrs. Bounder laughed a little slyly, as she retorted, 'Ain't there
nothin' to be glad of on my side tu?'

'Indeed, yes!' answered Esther. 'Christopher is as true and faithful as
it is possible to be; and as to business-- But you do not need that I
should tell you what Christopher is,' she broke off, laughing.

There was a pleasant look in the little woman's eyes as she stood up
for a moment and faced Esther.

'I guess I took him most of all because he be longed to you!' she said.




CHAPTER XXXII.

_MOVING_.


Esther made to herself a pleasure of getting the little dwelling in
order. With two such helpers as she had, the work went on bravely, and
Christopher got in coal and chopped wood enough to last all winter. The
ready money from the sale of Buonaparte had given her the means for
that and for some other things. She was intent upon making the new home
look so homelike that her father should be in some measure consoled for
the shock which she knew its exterior would give him. The colonel liked
no fire so well as one of his native 'sea-coal.' The house had open
fireplaces only. So Esther had some neat grates put in the two lower
rooms and in her father's sleeping chamber. They had plenty of carpets,
and the two little parlours were soon looking quite habitable.

'We will keep the back one for a dining-room,' she said to Mrs. Barker;
'that will be convenient for you, being nearest the kitchen stairs, and
this will be for papa's study. But it has a bare look yet. I must make
some curtains and put up, to hide the view of that dreadful street.'

'That'll cost money, mum,' observed the housekeeper. 'Wouldn't some o'
them old ones at home be passable, if they was made over a bit?'

'The colour would not fit here. No, that would not do. I'll get some
chintz that is dark and bright at once. I have money. Oh, we are going
to be rich now, Barker; and you shall not be stinted in your marketing
any more. And this is going to be very nice, _inside_.'

To the outside Esther could not get accustomed. It gave her a kind of
prick of dismay every time she saw it anew. What would her father say
when _he_ saw it? Yet she had done right and wisely; of that she had no
doubt at all; it was very unreasonable that, her judgment being
satisfied, her feeling should rebel. Yet it did rebel. When did ever
one of her family live in such a place before? They had come down
surely very far, to make it possible. Only in the matter of money, to
be sure; but then, money has to do largely with the outward appearance
one makes, and upon the appearance depends much of the effect upon
one's fellow-creatures. The whisper would come back in Esther's mind:
Who will believe you are what you are, if they see you coming out of
such a house? And what then? she answered the whisper. If the Lord has
given us this place to dwell in, that and all other effects and
consequences of it are part of His will in the matter. What if we are
to be overlooked and looked down upon? what have I to do with it? what
matters it? Let pride be quiet, and faith be very thankful. Here are
all my difficulties set aside, and no danger of not paying our debts
any more.

She reasoned so, and fought against pride, if pride it were, which took
the other side. She _would_ be thankful; and she was. Nevertheless, a
comparison would arise now and then with the former times, and with
their state at Seaforth; and further back still, with the beauties and
glories of the old manor house in England. Sometimes Esther felt a
strange wave of regret come over her at the thought of the gay circle
of relations she did not know, who were warm in the shelter of
prosperity and the cheer of numbers. She knew herself in a better
shelter, yes, and in a better cheer; and yet sometimes, as I said, an
odd feeling of loss and descent would come over her as she entered
Major Street Esther was working hard these days, which no doubt had
something to do with this. She rushed from her morning duties to the
school; then at three o'clock rushed to Major Street; and from there,
when it grew too dark to work, drove home to minister to her father.
Probably her times of discouragement were times when she was a little
tired. The thought was very far from her usually. In her healthy and
happy youth, busy life, and mental and spiritual growth and thrift,
Esther's wants seemed to be all satisfied; and so long as things ran
their ordinary course, she felt no deficiency. But there are conditions
in which one is warm so long as one does not move, while the first stir
of change brings a chill over one. And so sometimes now, as Esther
entered Major Street or set her face towards it, she would think of her
far-off circle of Gainsborough cousins, with a half wish that her
father could have borne with them a little more patiently; and once or
twice the thought came too, that the Dallases never let themselves be
heard from any more. Not even Pitt. She would not have thought it of
him, but he was away in a foreign country, and it must be that he had
forgotten them. His father and mother were near, and could not forget;
was not the old house there before them always to remind them? But they
were rich and prosperous and abounding in everything; they had no need
of the lonely two who had gone out of their sight and who did need
them. It was the way of the world; so the world said. Esther wondered
if that were really true, and also wondered now and then if Major
Street were to be henceforth not only the sphere but the limit of her
existence. She never gave such thoughts harbour; they came and they
went; and she remained the cheerful, brave, busy girl she had long been.

The small house at last looked homelike. On the front room Esther had
put a warm, dark-looking carpet; the chintz curtains were up and in
harmony with the carpet; and the colonel's lounge was new covered with
the same stuff. The old furniture had been arranged so as to give that
pleasant cosy air to the room which is such a welcome to the person
entering it, making the impression of comfort and good taste and of the
habit of good living; not good living in matters of the table, but in
those other matters which concern the mind's nourishment and social
well-being. Everything was right and in order, and Esther surveyed her
work with much content.

'It looks _very_ nice,' she said to her good friend the housekeeper.

'It do, mum,' Mrs. Barker answered, with a reservation. 'But I'm
thinkin', Miss Esther, I can't stop thinkin', whatever'll the colonel
say when he sees the outside.'

'He shall see the inside first. I have arranged that. And, Barker, we
must have a capital supper ready for him. We can afford it now. Have a
pheasant, Barker; there is nothing he likes better; and some of that
beautiful honey Mrs. Bounder has brought us; I never saw such rich
honey, I think. And I have good hope papa will be pleased, and put up
with things, as I do.'

'Your papa remembers Gainsborough Manor, mum, and that's what you
don't.'

'What then! Mrs. Barker, do you really think the Lord does _not_ know
what is good for us? That is sheer unbelief. Take what He gives, and be
thankful. Barker, why do you suppose the angels came to the sepulchre
so, as they did the morning of the resurrection?'

'Mum!' said Mrs. Barker, quite taken aback by this sudden change of
subject. But Esther went on in a pleasant, pleased tone of interest.

'I was reading the last chapter of Matthew this morning, and it set me
to thinking. You know a number of them, the angels, came, and were seen
about the sepulchre; and I suppose there was just a crowd of them
coming and going that morning. What for, do you suppose?'

'Miss Esther!' said the housekeeper open-mouthed, 'I'm sure I can't
say.'

'Why, they came _to see the place_, Barker; just for that. They knew
what had been done, and they just came in crowds, as soon as Jesus had
left the sepulchre--perhaps before--to look at the spot where that
wonder of all wonders had been. But it never occurred to me before how
like it was to the way we human creatures feel and do. _That_ was what
they came for; and don't you remember what one of them, with his
lightning face and his robes of whiteness, sitting on the stone, said
to the women? He told them to do what he had been doing. "_Come see the
place_." It brought the angels nearer to me than ever they had seemed
to be before.'

Mrs. Barker stood there spellbound, silenced. To be sure, if Miss
Esther's head was so busy with the angels, she was in a sort lifted up
above the small matters or accidents of common earthly life. And as
much as the words the girl's face awed her too, its expression was so
consonant with them.

'Now, Barker, Christopher may bring up some coal and make a fire before
he drives back for papa. In both rooms, Barker. And-- Hark! what is
that?'

A long-drawn, musical cry was sounding a little distance off, slowly
coming nearer as it was repeated. A cry that New York never hears now,
but that used to come through the streets in the evening with a
sonorous, half melancholy intonation, pleasant to hear.

'Oys----ters!----Oys----ters! Here's your fresh oys----ters!'

'That's just what we want, Barker. Get Christopher to stop the man.'

Esther had arranged that her father's room and belongings at home
should not be disturbed until the very day when he himself should make
the transfer from the one house to the other. So until that morning
even the colonel's sofa had not been moved. Now it was brought over and
placed in position between the fireplace and the window, where the
occupant would have plenty of light and warmth. The new chintz cover
had been put on it; the table was placed properly, and the books which
the colonel liked to have at hand lay in their usual position. In the
back room the table was set for supper. The rooms communicated, though
indeed not by folding doors; still the eye could go through and catch
the glow of the fire, and see the neat green drugget on the floor and
the pleasant array on the supper table.

'It looks _very_ nice, Barker!' Esther could not help saying again.

'It certainly do, mum,' was the answer, in which, nevertheless, Esther
heard the aforementioned mental reservation. If her father liked it!
Yes, that could not be known till he came; and she drew a breath of
patient anxiety. It was too dark for him to take the effect of anything
outside; she had arranged that. One thing at a time, she thought. The
house to-day; Major Street to-morrow.

She met him in the hall when he came, giving him a kiss and a welcome;
helped him to take off his greatcoat, and conducted him into the small
apartment so carefully made ready for him. It offered as much tasteful
comfort as it was possible for a room of its inches to do. Esther
waited anxiously for the effect. The colonel warmed his hands at the
blaze, and took his seat on the sofa, eyeing things suspiciously.

'What sort of a place is this we have come to?' were his first words.

'Don't you think it is a comfortable place, papa? This chimney draws
beautifully, and the coal is excellent. It is really a very nice little
house, papa. I think it will be comfortable.'

'Not very large,' said the colonel, taking with his eye the measure of
the room.

'No, papa; and none the worse for that. Room enough for you, and room
enough for me; and quite room enough for Barker, who has to take care
of it all. I like the house very much.'

'What sort of a street is it?'

Must that question come up to-night! Esther hesitated.

'I thought, sir, the street was of less importance to us than the home.
It is _very_ comfortable; and the rent is so moderate that we can pay
our way and be at ease. Papa, I would not like the finest house in the
world, if I had to run in debt to live in it.'

'What is the name of the street?'

'Major Street'

'Whereabouts is it? In the darkness I could not see where we were
going.'

'Papa, it is in the east part of the city, not very far from the river.
Fulton Market is not very far off either, which is convenient.'

'Who lives here?' asked the colonel, with a gathering frown on his brow.

'I know none of the people; nor even their names.'

'Of course not! but you know, I suppose, what sort of people they are?'

'They are plain people, papa; they are not of our class. They seem to
be decent people.'

'Decent? What do you mean by decent?'

'Papa, I mean not disorderly people; not disreputable. And is not that
enough for us, papa? Oh, papa, does it matter what the people are, so
long as our house is nice and pretty and warm, and the low rent just
relieves us from all our difficulties? Papa, do be pleased with it! I
think it is the very best thing we could have done.'

'Esther, there are certain things that one owes to oneself.'

'Yes, sir; but must we not pay our debts to other people first?'

'Debts? We were not in debt to anybody!'

'Yes, papa, to more than one; and I saw no way out of the difficulty
till I heard of this house. And I am so relieved now--you cannot think
with what a relief;--if only _you_ are pleased, dear papa.'

He must know so much of the truth, Esther said to herself with rapid
calculation. The colonel did not look pleased, it must be confessed.
All the prettiness and pleasantness on which Esther had counted to
produce a favourable impression seemed to fail of its effect; indeed,
seemed not to be seen. The colonel leaned his head on his hand and
uttered something very like a groan.

'So this is what we have come to!' he said. 'You do not know what you
have done, Esther.'

Esther said nothing to that. Her throat seemed to be choked. She looked
at her beautiful little fire, and had some trouble to keep tears from
starting.

'My dear, you did it for the best, I do not doubt,' her father added
presently. 'I only regret that I was not consulted before an
irrevocable step was taken.'

Esther could find nothing to answer.

'It is quite true that a man remains himself, whatever he does that is
not morally wrong; it is true that our real dignity is not changed;
nevertheless, people pass in the world not for what they are, but for
what they seem to be.'

'Oh, papa, do you think that!' Esther cried. But the colonel went on,
not heeding her.

'So, if you take to making shoes, it will be supposed that you are no
better than a cobbler; and if you choose your abode among washerwomen,
you will be credited with tastes and associations that fit you for your
surroundings. Have we _that_ sort of a neighbourhood?' he asked
suddenly.

'I do not know, papa,' Esther said meekly. The colonel fairly groaned
again. It was getting to be more than she could stand.

'Papa,' she said gently, 'we have done the best we knew,--at least I
have; and the necessity is not one of our own making. Let us take what
the Lord gives. I think He has given us a great deal. And I would
rather, for my part, that people thought anything of us, rather than
that we should miss our own good opinion. I do not know just what the
inhabitants are, round about here; but the street is at least clean and
decent, and within our own walls we need not think about it. Inside it
is _very_ comfortable, papa.'

The colonel was silent now, not, however, seeming to see the comfort.
There was a little interval, during which Esther struggled for calmness
and a clear voice. When she spoke, her voice was very clear.

'Barker has tea ready, papa, I see. I hope that will be as good as
ever, and better, for we have got something you like. Shall we go in?
It is in the other room.'

'Why is it not here, as usual, in my room? I do not see any reason for
the change.'

'It saves the mess of crumbs on the floor in this room. And then it
saves Barker a good deal of trouble to have the table there.'

'Why should Barker be saved trouble here more than where we have come
from? I do not understand.'

'We had Christopher there, papa. Here Barker has no one to help
her--except what I can do.'

'It must be the same thing, to have tea in one room or in another, I
should think.'

Esther could have represented that the other room was just at the head
of the kitchen stairs, while to serve the tea on the colonel's table
would cost a good many more steps. But she had no heart for any further
representations. With her own hands, and with her own feet, which were
by this time wearily tired, she patiently went back and forth between
the two rooms, bringing plates and cups and knives and forks, and
tea-tray, and bread and butter and honey and partridge, and salt and
pepper, from the one table to the other, which, by the way, had first
to be cleared of its own load of books and writing materials. Esther
deposited these on the floor and on chairs, and arranged the table for
tea, and pushed it into the position her father was accustomed to like.
The tea-kettle she left on its trivet before the grate in the other
room; and now made journeys uncounted between that room and this, to
take and fetch the tea-pot. Talk languished meanwhile, for the spirit
of talk was gone from Esther, and the colonel, in spite of his
discomfiture, developed a remarkably good appetite. When he had done,
Esther carried everything back again.

'Why do you do that? Where is Barker?' her father demanded at last.

'Barker has been exceedingly busy all day, putting down carpets and
arranging her storeroom. I am sure she is tired.'

'I suppose you are tired too, are you not?'

'Yes, papa.'

He said no more, however, and Esther finished her work, and then sat
down on a cushion at the corner of the fireplace, in one of those moods
belonging to tired mind and body, in which one does not seem at the
moment to care any longer about anything. The lively, blazing coal fire
shone on a warm, cosy little room, and on two somewhat despondent
figures. For his supper had not brightened the colonel up a bit. He sat
brooding. Perhaps his thoughts took the road that Esther's had often
followed lately, for he suddenly came out with a name now rarely spoken
between them.

'It is a long while that we have heard nothing from the Dallases!'

'Yes,' Esther said apathetically.

'Mr. Dallas used to write to me now and then.'

'They are busy with their own concerns, and we are out of sight; why
should they remember us?'

'They used to be good neighbours, in Seaforth.'

'Pitt. Papa, I do not think his father and mother were ever specially
fond of us.'

'Pitt never writes to me now,' the colonel went on, after a pause.

'He is busy with _his_ concerns. He has forgotten us too. I suppose he
has plenty of other things to think of. Oh, I have given up Pitt long
ago.'

The colonel brooded over his thoughts a while, then raised his head and
looked again over the small room.

'My dear, it would have been better to stay where we were,' he said
regretfully.

Esther could not bear to pain him by again reminding him that their
means would not allow it; and as her father lay back upon the sofa and
closed his eyes, she went away into the other room and sat down at the
corner of that fire, where the partition wall screened her from view.
For she wanted to let her head drop on her knees and be still; and a
few tears that she could not help came hot to her eyes. She had worked
so hard to get everything in nice order for her father; she had so
hoped to see him pleased and contented; and now he was so illogically
discontented! Truly he could tell her nothing she did not already know
about the disadvantages of their new position; and they all rushed upon
Esther's mind at this minute with renewed force. The pleasant country
and the shining river were gone; she would no longer see the lights on
the Jersey shore when she got up in the morning; the air would not come
sweet and fresh to her windows; there would be no singing of birds or
fragrance of flowers around her, even in summer; she would have only
the streets and the street cries and noises, and dust, and unsweet
breath. The house would do inside; but outside, what a change! And
though Esther was not very old in the world, nor very worldly-wise for
her years, she knew--if not as well as her father, yet she knew--that
in Major Street she was pretty nearly cut off from all social
intercourse with her kind. Her school experience and observation had
taught her so much. She knew that her occupation as a teacher in a
school was enough of itself to put her out of the way of invitations,
and that an abode in Major Street pretty well finished the matter.
Esther had not been a favourite among her school companions in the best
of times; she was of too uncommon a beauty, perhaps; perhaps she was
too different from them in other respects. Pleasant as she always was,
she was nevertheless separate from her fellows by a great separation of
nature; and that is a thing not only felt on both sides, but never
forgiven by the inferiors. Miss Gainsborough, daughter of a rich and
influential retired officer, would, however, have been sought eagerly
and welcomed universally; Miss Gainsborough, the school teacher,
daughter of an unknown somebody who lived in Major Street, was another
matter; hardly a desirable acquaintance. For what should she be desired?

Esther had not been without a certain dim perception of all this; and
it came to her with special disagreeableness just then, when every
thought came that could make her dissatisfied with herself and with her
lot. Why had her father ever come away from England, where friends and
relations could not have failed? Why had he left Seaforth, where at
least they were living like themselves, and where they would not have
dropped out of the knowledge of Pitt Dallas? The feeling of loneliness
crept again over Esther, and a feeling of having to fight her way as it
were single-handed. Was this little house, and Major Street, henceforth
to be the scene and sphere of her life and labours? How could she ever
work up out of it into anything better?

Esther was tired, and felt blue, which was the reason why all these
thoughts and others chased through her mind; and more than one tear
rolled down and dropped on her stuff gown. Then she gathered herself
up. How had she come to Major Street and to school teaching? Not by her
own will or fault. Therefore it was part of the training assigned for
her by a wisdom that is perfect, and a love that never forgets. And
Esther began to be ashamed of herself. What did she mean by saying,
'The Lord is my Shepherd,' if she could not trust Him to take care of
His sheep? And now, how had she been helped out of her difficulties,
enabled to pay her debts, brought to a home where she could live and be
clear of the world; yes, and live pleasantly too? And as for being
alone-- Esther rose with a smile. 'Can I not trust the Lord for that
too?' she thought. 'If it is His will I should be alone, then that is
the very best thing for me; and perhaps He will come nearer than if I
had other distractions to take my eyes in another direction.'

Barker came in to remove the tea-things, and Esther met her with a
smile, the brightness of which much cheered the good woman.

'Was the pheasant good, mum?' she asked in a whisper.

'Capital, Barker, and the honey. And papa made a very good supper. And
I am so thankful, Barker! for the house is very nice, and we are moved.'




CHAPTER XXXIII.

_BETTY_.


It was summer again, and on the broad grassy street of Seaforth the
sunshine poured in its full power. The place lay silent under the heat
of mid-day; not a breath stirred the leaves of the big elms, and no
passing wheels stirred the dust of the roadway, which was ready to rise
at any provocation. It was very dry, and very hot. Yet at Seaforth
those two facts, though proclaimed from everybody's mouth, must be
understood with a qualification. The heat and the dryness were not as
elsewhere. So near the sea as the town was, a continual freshness came
from thence in vapours and cool airs, and mitigated what in other
places was found oppressive. However, the Seaforth people said it was
oppressive too; and things are so relative in the affairs of life that
I do not know if they were more contented than their neighbours. But
everybody said the heat was fine for the hay; and as most of the
inhabitants had more or less of that crop to get in, they criticised
the weather only at times when they were thinking of it in some other
connection.

At Mrs. Dallas's there was no criticism of anything. In the large
comfortable rooms, where windows were all open, and blinds tempering
the too ardent light, and cool mats on the floors, and chintz furniture
looked light and summery, there was an atmosphere of pure enjoyment and
expectation, for Pitt was coming home again, and his mother was looking
for him with every day. She was sitting now awaiting him; no one could
tell at what hour he might arrive; and his mother's face was beautiful
with hope. She was her old self; not changed at all by the four or five
years of Pitt's absence; as handsome and as young and as stately as
ever. She made no demonstration now; did not worry either herself or
others with questions and speculations and hopes and fears respecting
her son's coming; yet you could see on her fine face, if you were
clever at reading faces, the lines of pride and joy, and now and then a
quiver of tenderness. It was seen by one who was sitting with her,
whose interest and curiosity it involuntarily moved.

This second person was a younger lady. Indeed a _young_ lady, not by
comparison, but absolutely. A very attractive person too. She had an
exceedingly good figure, which the trying dress of those times showed
in its full beauty. Woe to the lady then whose shoulders were not
straight, or the lines of her figure not flowing, or the proportions of
it not satisfactory. Every ungracefulness must have shown its full
deformity, with no possibility of disguise; every angle must have been
aggravated, and every untoward movement made doubly fatal. But the
dress only set off and developed the beauty that could bear it. And the
lady sitting with Mrs. Dallas neither feared nor had need to fear
criticism. Something of that fact appeared in her graceful posture and
in the brow of habitual superiority, and in the look of the eyes that
were now and then lifted from her work to her companion. The eyes were
beautiful, and they were also queenly; at least their calm fearlessness
was not due to absence of self-consciousness. She was a pretty picture
to see. The low-cut dress and fearfully short waist revealed a white
skin and a finely-moulded bust and shoulders. The very scant and
clinging robe was of fine white muslin, with a narrow dainty border of
embroidery at the bottom; and a scarf of the same was thrown round her
shoulders. The round white arms were bare, the little tufty white
sleeves making a pretty break between them and the soft shoulders; and
the little hands were busy with a strip of embroidery, which looked as
if it might be destined for the ornamentation of another similar dress.
The lady's face was delicate, intelligent, and attractive, rather than
beautiful; her eyes, however, as I said, were fine; and over her head
and upon her neck curled ringlets of black, lustrous hair.

'You think he will be here to-day?' she said, breaking the familiar
silence that had reigned for a while. She had caught one of Mrs.
Dallas's glances towards the window.

'He may be here any day. It is impossible to tell. He would come before
his letter.'

'You are very fond of him, I can see. What made you send him away from
you? England is so far off!'

Mrs. Dallas hesitated; put up the end of her knitting-needle under her
cap, and gently moved it up and down in meditative fashion.

'We wanted him to be an Englishman, Betty.'

'Why, Mrs. Dallas? Is he not going to live in America?'

'Probably.'

'Then why make an Englishma