The Project Gutenberg EBook of Rule a Wife, and Have a Wife by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org Title: Rule a Wife, and Have a Wife Beaumont & Fletcher's Works (3 of 10) Author: Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher Release Date: January 1, 2005 [EBook #14549] Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RULE A WIFE, AND HAVE A WIFE *** Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Paul Murray and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team
Enter Juan de Castro, and Michael Perez.
Michael Perez
Are your Companies full, Colonel?Juan de Castro
No, not yet, Sir:Michael Perez
We pick up still, and as our monies hold out,Juan de Castro
And unexperienced,Michael Perez
I have heard of him, and that he hath serv'd before too.Juan de Castro
But no harm done, nor never meant, Don Michael,Michael Perez
Preserve him, he'll conclude a peace if need be,Juan de Castro
'Tis true, such we must look for: but Mich. Perez,Michael Perez
I hear every hour of her, though I never saw her,Juan de Castro
But she is proud, Sir, that I know for certain,Michael Perez
Would I were married, I would find that Wisdom,Enter a Servant.
Michael Perez
Are they two handsome Women?Servant
They seem so, very handsom, but they are vail'd, Sir.Michael Perez
Thou put'st sugar in my mouth, how it melts with me!Juan de Castro
Wait on them in I say.[Exit Servant.
Michael Perez
Don Juan.Juan de Castro
How you itch, Michael! how you burnish!Michael Perez
There be two.Juan de Castro
Say honest, what shame have you then?Michael Perez
I would fain see that,Juan de Castro
Prithee be modest.Michael Perez
I'll be any thing.Enter Servant, Donna Clara, and Estifania vail'd.
Juan de Castro
You are welcome Ladies.Michael Perez
Both hooded, I like 'em well though,Juan de Castro
With me, or with this Gentleman,Clara
With you, Sir, as I guess, Juan de Castro.Michael Perez
Her Curtain opens, she is a pretty Gentlewoman.Juan de Castro
I am the Man, and shall be bound to Fortune,Clara
Captain, I hear you are marching down to Flanders,Juan de Castro
I am sweet Lady.Clara
I have a Kinsman, and a noble Friend,[A Letter.
Juan de Castro
I shall do it,Clara
Something in private.Juan de Castro
Step aside: I'll serve thee.[Ex. Juan, and Clara.
Michael Perez
Prithee let me see thy face.Estifania
Sir, you must pardon me,Michael Perez
I am no blaster of a Ladies Beauty,Estifania
You must excuse me, Seignior, I comeMichael Perez
As I am a Gentleman, by the honour of a Souldier.Estifania
I believe you,Michael Perez
I shall love you dearly,Estifania
Indeed I dare not:Michael Perez
It must needs be excellent.Estifania
And with what honesty you ask it of me,Enter Juan, Clara, a Servant.
I shall be able to give welcome to you;Michael Perez
I'll kiss your fair white hand and thank you, Lady.Servant
I shall do it faithfully.[Exit.
Juan de Castro
You will command me no more services?Clara
To be careful of your noble health, dear Sir,Juan de Castro
I thank you,[Exeunt Ladies, and Servants.
Michael Perez
You had the honour to see the face that came to you?Juan de Castro
And 'twas a fair one; what was yours, Don Michael?Michael Perez
Mine was i'th' clipse, and had a Cloud drawn over it.Juan de Castro
You know none of 'em?Michael Perez
No.Juan de Castro
Then I do, Captain,Michael Perez
Were those she brought Love-Letters?Juan de Castro
A Packet to a Kinsman now in Flanders,Michael Perez
Some young unmanag'd thing,Juan de Castro
'Tis worth experience,[Exeunt.
Enter Sanchio, and Alonzo.
Sanchio
What, are you for the Wars, Alonzo?Alonzo
It may be I,Sanchio
Of which Hospital thou wilt sweat in; wilt thouAlonzo
There is less danger in't than gunning, Sanchio,Sanchio
But it disables 'em,Alonzo
Better to pull 'em thus than walk on wooden ones,Sanchio
Fye, fye, 'tis base.Alonzo
Dost thou count it base to suffer?Sanchio
As thou hast done I am sure, but I perceive nowAlonzo
I would I had her.Sanchio
They say she will marry.Sanchio
And marry suddenly, as report goes too,Alonzo
I would I had the sheathing on't.Sanchio
They say tooAlonzo
Would she were mine,Sanchio
Yet those stand off i'th' way of marriage,Alonzo
She has bought a brave house here in town.Sanchio
I have heard so.Alonzo
If she convert it now to pious uses,Sanchio
When comes she to it?Alonzo
Within these two days, she is in the Country yet,Sanchio
Then there's some hope of her,Alonzo
No, no, I must leave you,Sanchio
Send thee good fortune, but make thy Body sound first.Enter a Servant of Michael Perez.
Servant
'Tis this or that house, or I have lost my aim,Enter Estifania.
And hereabouts I lost her; stay, that's she,[Exit.
[Exit.
Enter three old Ladies.
1 Lady
What should it mean, that in such haste2 Lady
Belike the Lady Margaret has some business3 Lady
It should seem so.2 Lady
And vertuous enough too I warrant ye3 Lady
'Tis more sometimes than we can well away with.Enter Altea.
Altea
Good morrow, Ladies.All
'Morrow, my good Madam.1 Lady
How does the sweet young Beauty, Lady Margaret?2 Lady
Has she slept well after her walk last night?1 Lady
Are her dreams gentle to her mind?Altea
All's well,2 Lady
She does well and wisely,Altea
She would fain marry.Altea
That's left to argue on, I pray come in2 Lady
And good wine breeds good counsel.[Exeunt.
Enter Juan de Castro, and Leon.
Juan de Castro
Have you seen any service?Leon
Yes.Juan de Castro
Where?Leon
Every where.Juan de Castro
What office bore ye?Leon
None, I was not worthy.Juan de Castro
What Captains know you?Leon
None, they were above me.Juan de Castro
Were you never hurt?Leon
Not that I well remember,Juan de Castro
This is an Asse, did you never draw your sword yet?Leon
Not to do any harm I thank Heaven for't.Juan de Castro
Nor ne'r ta'ne prisoner?Leon
No, I ran away,Juan de Castro
Can you endure a Drum?Leon
It makes my head ake.Juan de Castro
Are you not valiant when you are drunk?Leon
I think not, but I am loving Sir.Juan de Castro
What a lump is this man,Leon
Too wise for me I'm sure,Juan de Castro
That was no foolish part I'le bear you witness.Leon
I think I could make shift Sir,Juan de Castro
In the night?Leon
I know not,Juan de Castro
Why art thou sent to me to be my officer,Leon
There be more officers of my opinion,Juan de Castro
How wilt thou scape a bullet?Leon
Why by chance,Juan de Castro
This fellow has some doubts in's talk that strike me,Enter Alonzo.
He cannot be all fool: welcom Alonzo.Alonzo
What have you got there, temperance into your company?Enter Cacafogo.
By th'ounce then. O here's another pumpion,Cacafogo
My Father's dead: I am a man of war too,Juan de Castro
Take heed o'th' Hollanders, your ships may leak else.Cacafogo
I scorn the Hollanders, they are my drunkards.Alonzo
Put up your gold Sir, I'le borrow it else.Cacafogo
I am satisfied, you shall not,Leon
I never wrong'd ye.Cacafogo
Thou hast wrong'd mine honor,Cacafogo
Thou wan'st my mony too, with a pair of base bones,[He strikes.
Alonzo
You struck too low by a foot Sir.Juan de Castro
You must get a ladder when you would beatLeon
I cannot chuse but kick again, pray pardon me.Cacafogo
Had'st thou not ask'd my pardon, I had kill'd thee,[Exit .
Alonzo
You have scap'd by miracle, there is not in all Spain,Leon
I see he is hasty, and I would give him leaveJuan de Castro
What shall I do with this fellow?Alonzo
Turn him off,Juan de Castro
About some week hence Sir,Leon
I desire no better.[Exit.
Enter Estifania, and Perez.
Michael Perez
You have made me now too bountifull amends, LadyEstifania
You appear to me so honest, and so civil,Michael Perez
Now let me ask your name.Estifania
'Tis Estifanie, the heir of this poor place.Michael Perez
Poor do you call it?Estifania
'Tis but little,Michael Perez
Now if she be not married, I have some hopes.Estifania
You make me blush to answer,Michael Perez
Then would I counsel you to marry presently,Estifania
This place will fit our talk, 'tis fitter far Sir,Michael Perez
She is excellent wise withal too.Estifania
You nam'd a husband, I am not so strict Sir,Michael Perez
He were base else,Estifania
I am not so ignorant, but that I know well,Michael Perez
Sweet, rich, and provident, now fortune stickEstifania
You are a true gentleman, and fair, I see by ye,Michael Perez
Pray do so, I'le have a Priest o'th' sudden.Estifania
And as suddenly you will repent too.Michael Perez
I'le be hang'd or drown'd first,Estifania
You are a Flatterer,Michael Perez
I'le stir it better e're you sleep sweet Lady,Estifania
You have the art to cozen me.[Exeunt.
Enter Margarita, and two Ladies, and Altea.
Margarita
Sit down and give me your opinions seriously.1 Lady
You say you have a mind to marry Lady.Margarita
'Tis true, I have for to preserve my credit,1 Lady
Do you find your body so malitious that way?Margarita
I find it as all bodies are that are young and lusty,2 Lady
'Tis fit you should have,1 Lady
But might not all this be, and keep ye single.Margarita
Yes why was I made a woman?2 Lady
And every day a new?Margarita
Why fair and young but to use it?1 Lady
You are still i'th' right, why would you marry then?2 Lady
What Husband mean ye?Altea
A Husband of an easy faith, a fool,2 Lady
You grant there may be such a man.1 Lady
Yes marry, but how to bring 'em to this rare Perfection.2 Lady
They must be chosen so, things of no honour,Margarita
No 'tis no matter,2 Lady
Me thinks now a rich Lawyer, some such fellow,Margarita
No there's no trusting them, they are too subtil,1 Lady
Then some grave governor,Margarita
If he have honour I am undone, I'le none such,Altea
'Tis fit ye should Lady;Margarita
Is he a Gentleman?Altea
Yes and a souldier, as gentle as you would wish him,Margarita
Those I'le allow him,Altea
Very little.Alonzo
No, he will not quarrel with a dog that bites hi[m],Altea
Honour's a thing too subtil for his wisdom,Margarita
Is he so goodly a man do you say?Altea
As you shall see Lady,Margarita
I would have him so,Altea
He shall attend your Ladiship.[Exeunt.
Enter Juan, Alonzo, and Perez.
Juan de Castro
Why thou art not married indeed?Michael Perez
No, no, pray think so,Alonzo
Wou'dst thou steal a fortune,Michael Perez
No indeed,Juan de Castro
Was it the wench i'th' veil?Michael Perez
Basto 'twas she,Juan de Castro
And is she rich withal too?Michael Perez
A mine, a mine, there is no end of wealth Coronel,Juan de Castro
You are merry Sir,Michael Perez
I do not think I shall fight much this year Coronel,Alonzo
How it angers me,Alonzo
If thy wife be fair, thou wilt have few lessMichael Perez
But where they'l get entertainment is the point Signior.Alonzo
You need none but her taber,Enter Servant.
Servant
My Mistris Sir is sick, because you are absent,Michael Perez
Alas my Jewel,Juan de Castro
I thank ye[Exit Perez, Servant.
[Exeunt.
Enter Margarita, Altea, and Ladies.
Margarita
Is he come?Altea
Yes Madam, h'as been here this half hour,Margarita
Have ye searcht him Ladies?Omnes
Is a man at all points, a likely man.Margarita
Call him in Altea.[Exit Lady.
Enter Leon, Altea.
A man of a good presence, pray ye come this way,Altea
Pray ye question him, and if you find him notMargarita
Can you love a young Lady? How he blushes!Altea
Leave twirling of your hat, and hold your head up,Leon
Yes, I think I can,Margarita
You shall be taught, and can you when she pleasesLeon
Yes I love riding,Margarita
Be as merry as you will: can you as handsomelyLeon
Yes sure, I shall.Margarita
And when you see her friends here,Leon
'Twere fit I were hang'd else.Margarita
Let me try your kisses,Leon
Indeed I know not;Margarita
You shall then be instructed:Altea
Hark to the Lady.Margarita
What mony have ye?Leon
None Madam, nor friends,Margarita
You must not look to be my Mr Sir,Leon
I will not,Margarita
Nor do not labour to arrive at any,Leon
Yes indeed forsooth.Margarita
There is one thing,Leon
I will not, alas I never knew my self sufficiently.Margarita
Nor must not now.Leon
I'le be a Dog to please ye.Margarita
Indeed you must fetch and carry as I appoint ye.Leon
I were to blame else.Margarita
Kiss me again; a strong fellow,Leon
No, if you kiss a thousand I shall be contented,Altea
I told ye Madam.Margarita
'Tis the man I wisht for; the less you speak.Leon
I'le never speak again Madam,Margarita
Get me a Priest, I'le wed him instantly,Leon
Else you shall hang me.Margarita
I'le give ye better clothes when you deserve 'em,Omnes
We shall Madam.Margarita
And then away toth' city presently,Leon
A thousand crowns are thine, and I am a made man.Altea
Do not break out too soon.Leon
I know my time wench.[Exeunt.
Enter Clara, and Estifania with a paper.
Clara
What, have you caught him?Estifania
Yes.Clara
And do you find himEstifania
Yes too,Clara
Hast thou married him?Estifania
What dost thou think I fish without a bait wench?Clara
Does thy Lady know this? she is coming now to town,Estifania
Let her come,Clara
Dost thou not love him?Estifania
Yes, intirely well,Enter Perez.
O here he is, now you shall see a kind man.Michael Perez
My Estifania, shall we to dinner lamb?Estifania
I cannot eat else.Michael Perez
I never enter but me thinks a ParadiseEstifania
You are welcom to it Sir.Michael Perez
I think I have the sweetest seat in Spain wench,Estifania
A friend of mine Sir.Michael Perez
Of what breeding?Estifania
A Gentlewoman Sir.Michael Perez
What business has she?Estifania
More than I know Sir.Michael Perez
Or has she e're a letter from a kinswoman,Estifania
What need all this, why are you troubled Sir?Michael Perez
Your very woman may do very well SirEstifania
Cry ye mercy husband, you are jealous then,Michael Perez
No indeed wife.Estifania
Me thinks you should not till you have more causeMichael Perez
No, no, I do but jest with ye.Estifania
To morrow friend I'le see you.Clara
I shall leave ye[Exit.
Estifania
Why where's this girle, whose at the door?[Knock.
Michael Perez
Who knocks there?Enter Maid.
Maid
My Lady, as I live Mistris, my Ladie's come,Estifania
This was a week too soon, but I must meet with her,Michael Perez
What are they at door?Michael Perez
'Tis well.Estifania
Nay, 'twill be betterMichael Perez
Doe, I dare trust thee, I am asham'd I am angry,Estifania
I'le wise your worshipMichael Perez
The Rogue speaks heartily,Enter Margarita, Estifania, Leon, Altea, and Ladies.
Who are these, what flanting things, a womanEstifania
My Husband, Lady.Margarita
You have gain'd a proper man.Michael Perez
What e're I am, I am your servant Lady.[kisses.
Estifania
Sir, be rul'd now,Michael Perez
She is a goodly woman.Estifania
She is a mirrour,Michael Perez
Forward, she has a rare face.Estifania
This we must carry with discretion Husband,Michael Perez
Yield our house up, our goods and wealth?Estifania
All this is but in seeming,Michael Perez
All the house?Estifania
All, all, and we'l remove too, to confirm him,Michael Perez
The whole possession wife? look what you doe,Estifania
No, no, they shall have all,Michael Perez
If easily it would come back.Estifania
I swear Sir,Michael Perez
Clear but that question.Estifania
I'le put the writings into your hand.Michael Perez
Well then.Estifania
And you shall keep them safe.Michael Perez
I am satisfied; wou'd I had the wench so too.Estifania
When she has married him,Michael Perez
I'le remove the goods straight,Estifania
I have a poor old friend; there we'l be.Michael Perez
'Tis well then.Estifania
Goe handsom off, and leave the house clear.Michael Perez
Well.Estifania
That little stuff we'l use shall follow after;Margarita
Come, let's goe in, are all the rooms kept sweet wench?Estifania
They are sweet and neat.[Exit Perez.
Margarita
Why where's your Husband?Estifania
Gone Madam.Margarita
Well, send you joy, you would not let me know't,Estifania
Thank your Ladyship.[Exeunt.
Enter Margarita, Altea, and Boy.
Altea
Are you at ease now, is your heart at rest,Margarita
I am at peace Altea,Altea
You are a made woman.Margarita
But if he should prove nowAltea
My life, an innocent.Margarita
That's it I aim at,Altea
'Tis up and ready.Margarita
And day-beds in all chambers?Altea
In all Lady,Margarita
Let 'em gaze on,Altea
He knows his distance Madam,Enter Leon.
Margarita
'Tis well Altea.Altea
Sure he sees you not.Margarita
How scornfully he looks!Leon
Are all the chambersServant
They are, and yet there must be more and richer,Leon
Hum, is it so? 'tis excellent,Servant
She ever lov'd 'em dearly,Leon
'Tis no fashion,Servant
That's as you shall deserve Sir.Leon
And when I lye with her.Servant
May be I'le light ye,Enter 1 Lady.
1 Lady
Madam, the Duke Medina with some CaptainsMargarita
They shall be welcom,Enter 2 Lady.
Leon
That's a bawd,2 Lady
Has brought her coach to wait upon your Ladiship,Leon
The neat air of her nunnery.Margarita
Tell her no, i'th' afternoon I'le call on her.2 Lady
I will Madam.[Exit.
Margarita
Why are not you gone to prepare your self,Altea
A willing, Madam, one that needs no spurring.Leon
Faith madam, in my little understanding,Margarita
How now, what's this?Leon
'Tis only to perswade ye,Margarita
The fellow's mad.Leon
He that shall counsel Ladies,Altea
He breaks out modestly.Leon
Pray ye be not angry,Margarita
Thou darest not talk.Leon
Not much Madam,Margarita
Do you hear him talk?Leon
I have done Madam,[Exit.
Margarita
First I'le unty my self, did you mark the Gentleman,Altea
I think him an Asse still,Margarita
I'le have my celler lockt, no school kept there,Altea
He will fall again, my life he cryes by this time,Enter Leon.
Leon
Shall I wear my new sute Madam?Margarita
No your old clothes,Altea
Good Madam be not so rough, with repentance,Margarita
I see not what I expect to see.Leon
You shall see Madam, if it shall please your Ladyship.Altea
He's humbled,Margarita
Well go get you handsom,Leon
Have ye yet no feeling?[Exit.
Margarita
See you preserve him thus upon my favour,Enter Perez.
Michael Perez
Shall I never return to mine own house again?Estifania [within]
I am going presently.Michael Perez
Make haste good Jewel,Enter Estifania.
Mercy deliver me. O are you come wife,Estifania
I am now going,Michael Perez
Break my neck rather, is there any thing here to eatEstifania
Not a pin I warrant ye.Michael Perez
And let 'em instantly depart.Estifania
They shall both,Michael Perez
I'le walk i'th' Church-yard,Estifania
I'le not fail Sir.Michael Perez
And do you hear, let's have a handsom dinner,Estifania
You shall have all, which some interpret nothing,Michael Perez
Let 'em be known and honest,Estifania
I shall Sir,Michael Perez
I observe ye.[Exeunt.
Enter Juan de Castro, Sancho, and Cacafogo.
Sanchio
Thou art very brave.Cacafogo
I have reason, I have mony.Sanchio
Is mony reason?Sanchio
I thank ye.Sanchio
Wilt thou lend me any?Cacafogo
Not a farthing Captain,Sanchio
Why so are all men, thou shalt have my bond.Cacafogo
Nor bonds nor fetters Captain,Cacafogo
Put it to pious uses,Juan de Castro
Are those Hospitals?Cacafogo
I first provide to fill my HospitalsJuan de Castro
A provident Charity; are you for the Wars, Sir?Cacafogo
I am not poor enough to be a Souldier,Juan de Castro
Ye have said wisely.Cacafogo
Had you but my money,Sanchio
A right State Usurer; why dost thou not marry,Cacafogo
Is't not nobler to command a reverend Justice, than to be one?Juan de Castro
Wilt thou go to dinner with us?Cacafogo
I will go, and view the Pearl of Spain, the OrientJuan de Castro
The Duke dines there to day too, the Duke of Medina.Cacafogo
Let the King dine there,Sanchio
Thou wilt eat monstrously.Cacafogo
Like a true born Spaniard,Juan de Castro
If we should play now, you must supply me.Cacafogo
You must pawn a Horse troop,Juan de Castro
If I light on him I'll make his Purse sweat too.Cacafogo
Will ye lead, Gentlemen?[Exeunt.
Enter Perez, an old Woman, and Maid.
Michael Perez
Nay, pray ye come out, and let me understand ye,Old Woman
Ha, what would ye have?Michael Perez
My Goods again, how came my Trunks all open?Old Woman
Are your Trunks open?Michael Perez
Yes, and Cloaths gone,Old Woman
Where's your Gentlewoman?Michael Perez
What's that to my question?Maid
Is she your Wife, Sir?Michael Perez
Yes Sir, is that wonder?Old Woman
Is she truly, truly your Wife?Michael Perez
I think so, for I married her;Maid
She has the Keys, Sir.Michael Perez
I know she has, but who has all my goods, Spirit?Old Woman
If you be married to that Gentlewoman,Maid
She tells you true.Old Woman
And she has cozen'd all, Sir.Michael Perez
The Devil she has! I had a fair house with her,Maid
The Lady Margarita, she was her Servant,Michael Perez
Plague o' the Devil,Old Woman
A young sweet Lady.Michael Perez
Of a low stature?Old Woman
She is indeed but little, but she is wondrous fair.Michael Perez
I feel I am cozen'd;Maid
When she went out this morning, that I saw, Sir,Michael Perez
They were mine while they were laden,Old Woman
Her own Mistress, her very Mistress, Sir, and all you sawMichael Perez
No Plate, no Jewels, nor no Hangings?Maid
Not a farthing, she is poor, Sir, a poor shifting thing.Michael Perez
No money?Old Woman
Abominable poor, as poor as we are,Michael Perez
I am mad now,Old Woman
You may find truth as soon,Michael Perez
Is she a Whore too?Old Woman
Little better, Gentleman, I dare not say she is so Sir, becauseMichael Perez
She has serv'd me faithfully,Old Woman
And I deserve it, I tell but truth.Enter the Duke of Medina, Juan de Castro, Alonzo, Sanchio, Cacafogo. Attendants.
Duke of Medina
A goodly house.Juan de Castro
And richly furnisht too, Sir.Alonzo
Hung wantonly, I like that preparation,Duke of Medina
Now Cacafogo, how like you this mansion?Cacafogo
I shall be master of it,Enter Margarita, Altea, Ladies, and Servants.
Margarita
All welcome to your Grace, and to these Souldiers,Duke of Medina
I thank ye Lady, I am bold to visit ye,Margarita
Bring in the Dukes meat.Sanchio
She is most excellent.Cacafogo
I'll have a fling, 'tis but a thousand Duckets,Enter Leon.
Margarita
Why, where's this dinner?Leon
'Tis not ready, Madam,Juan de Castro
Is not this my Alferes? he looks another thing;Margarita
Why, Sirrah, why Sirrah, you?Leon
I hear you, saucy Woman,Duke of Medina
Your Wife?Leon
Yes good my Lord, I am her Husband,Cacafogo
It thou beest her Husband,Leon
Peace, dirt and dunghil,Alonzo
This is miraculous.Sanchio
Is this the FellowMargarita
I'll be divorced immediately.Leon
You shall not,Margarita
I do command ye from me, thou poor fellow,Leon
Thou cozen'd Fool? 'tis not so,Margarita
Am I braved thus in mine own house?Leon
'Tis mine, Madam,Margarita
As you love me, give way.Leon
It shall be better,Duke of Medina
Is this the Fellow that the People pointed at,Leon
As a Husband ought, Sir,Juan de Castro
Brave, a strange Conversion, thou shalt leadDuke of Medina
Is there no difference betwixt her and you, Sir?Leon
Not now, Lord, my Fortune makes me even,Margarita
Get me my Coach.Leon
Let me see who dares get itDuke of Medina
Nay, Sir, you shall not carry itLeon
They are tears of anger, I beseech ye note 'em, not worth pity,Juan de Castro
Hold, fair Sir, I beseech ye,Leon
He that dares strike against the husbands freedom,Duke of Medina
I have better thought, I pray Sir use your Wife well.Leon
Mine own humanity will teach me that, Sir,Duke of Medina
I'll cross your joy yet.Juan de Castro
I made seen a miracle, hold thine own, Souldier,Sanchio
H'as beaten all my loose thoughts out of me,Enter Perez.
Leon
That's she, Sir, that pretty Lady,Juan de Castro
Don Michael, Leon, another darer come.Michael Perez
Pray do not know me, I am full of business,Margarita
Yes truly, had I.Michael Perez
Was she a Maid do you think?Margarita
I dare not swear for her,Michael Perez
Was she your Kinswoman?Margarita
Not that I ever knew, now I look betterMichael Perez
Give me a halter: is not this house mine, Madam?Margarita
No, certainly, I am sure my money paid for it,Michael Perez
The Hangings and the Plate too?Margarita
All are mine, Sir,Sanchio
What a Devil ails he?Michael Perez
Where is your Maid?Margarita
Do not you know that have her?Michael Perez
I saw her later, would the Devil had had her,Juan de Castro
Is thy Wife with Child, Don Michael? thy excellent wife.Alonzo
When shall we come and visit thee?Sanchio
And eat some rare fruit? thou hast admirable Orchards,Michael Perez
Prithee leave fooling,Margarita
Yes many times, so often that I was asham'd to keep her,Michael Perez
I thank ye, I am blest still,Juan de Castro
You'll stay and dine?Michael Perez
Certain I cannot, Captain,[Exit.
Leon
Will you come near, Sir, will your Grace but honour me,Juan de Castro
Thou art the stock of men, and I admire thee.[Ex.
Enter Perez.
Michael Perez
I'll go to a Conjurer but I'll find this Pol-cat,Enter Estifania with a Casket.
Estifania
'Tis he, I am caught, I must stand to it stoutly,Michael Perez
My worthy Wife,Estifania
My most noble Husband,Michael Perez
I have been in Bawdy Houses.Michael Perez
'Pray you pardon me,Estifania
You have had a pretty progress, I'll tell mine now:Michael Perez
And are you sober?Estifania
Yes, I reel not yet, Sir,Michael Perez
She bears up bravely, and the Rogue is witty,Estifania
Why am I cozen'd?Michael Perez
Thou most vile, base, abominable--Estifania
Captain.Michael Perez
Thou stinking, overstew'd, poor, pocky--Estifania
Captain.Michael Perez
Do you echo me?Estifania
Yes Sir, and go before ye,Michael Perez
And brave me too?Estifania
You had best now draw your Sword, Captain!Michael Perez
A Plague upon thee, answer me directly;Estifania
To be my Husband;Michael Perez
Why didst thou flatter me, and shew me wonders?Estifania
Why did you work on meMichael Perez
Thou hast 'em, Rascal;Estifania
Sir, there's your treasure, sell it to a TinkerMichael Perez
A fire subtle ye, are ye so crafty?Estifania
Here's a goodly jewel,Estifania
And here's a Chain of Whitings eyes for pearls,Michael Perez
Nay, prithee wife, my Cloaths, my Cloaths.Estifania
I'll tell ye,Michael Perez
Is there no house then, nor no grounds about it?Estifania
There are none, sweet Husband,Michael Perez
I will speak little, I have plaid the Fool,Estifania
You have spoke well, Sir,Michael Perez
Tell me one thing,Estifania
I bid her tell you so, Sir,Michael Perez
Most strange things of thee.Estifania
Still 'twas my way, and all to try your sufferance,Michael Perez
She knew me not,Estifania
'Twas well carried;Michael Perez
I would believe thee,Estifania
I'll be there straight.Michael Perez
I am fooled, yet dare not find it.[Exit Perez.
Estifania
Go silly Fool, thou mayst be a good SouldierEnter Cacafogo.
Here comes another Trout that I must tickle,Cacafogo
Prithee be answered, thou shalt crave no leave,Cacafogo
I know thou hast some wedding Ring to pawn now,Estifania
I am gone, Sir,Cacafogo
Stay I prithee,Estifania
She would entreat you, Sir,Cacafogo
She shall command, Sir,Estifania
She does command thenCacafogo
Your Mistress by the way?Estifania
My natural mistress,Cacafogo
To doubt 'em is an heresie.Estifania
A thousand Duckets, 'tis upon necessityCacafogo
Long may he be so.Estifania
She desires withal a better knowledge of your parts and person,Cacafogo
Come, let's dispatch.Estifania
In troth I have heard her say, Sir,Cacafogo
Let's do it firstEstifania
All secrecy she would desire, she told meCacafogo
We are not wise to talk thus,Estifania
Green goose you are now in sippets.[Exeunt.
Enter the Duke, Sanchio, Juan, Alonzo.
Duke of Medina
He shall not have his will, I shall prevent him,Juan de Castro
I am commanded.[Exit.
Duke of Medina
A fellow founded out of Charity,Sanchio
That such an oyster shell should hold a pearl,Duke of Medina
Ne'r fear it Sanchio,Alonzo
'Tis every good mans cause, and we must stir in it.Duke of Medina
I'le warrant he shall be glad to please us,[Exeunt.
Enter Leon, and Juan, with a commission.
Leon
Coronel, I am bound to you for this nobleness,Juan de Castro
I do rejoyce at it,Leon
Within four daies I am gone, so he commands me,Juan de Castro
They are aboard.Leon
Who waits there?Enter Servant.
Servant
Sir.Leon
Do you hear ho, go carry this unto your Mistris Sir,[Exit.
Enter Lorenzo.
Lorenzo
Sir,Lorenzo
Whither must they goe Sir?Leon
To the wars, Lorenzo,Leon
The stuff must goe to morrow towards the sea Sir,Lorenzo
Why Pedro, Vasco, Dego,[Exit.
Juan de Castro
H'as taken a brave way to save his honour,Enter Margarita, led by two Ladies.
Leon
Why how now wife, what, sick at my preferment?Margarita
No sooner love ye,Leon
By no means sweet heart.Margarita
If he were married but four daies as I am.Leon
He would hang himself the fifth, or fly his Country.Margarita
He would make it treason for that tongue that durstLeon
Indeed I must sweet wife,Margarita
I'le to the Duke my cousin, he shall to th' King.Leon
He did me this great office,Margarita
Would I were able Sir to bear you company,Leon
Be in peace, you shall not.[knock within.
Margarita
What knocking's this? oh Heaven my head, why rascalsLeon
The preparation is, they are taking down,Enter Coachman.
Coachman
Must the Coach goe too Sir?Leon
How will your Lady pass to th' sea else easily?Leon
I'le have a main care of ye,Margarita
Would I were able.Leon
Come I warrant ye,Margarita
Let me have a nurse,Leon
It shall not trot I warrant ye,Margarita
I am with child Sir.Leon
At four days warning? this is something speedy,Margarita
Pray do not swear, I thought I was a maid too,Leon
In such a strait point sure I could not err Madam.Juan de Castro
This is another tenderness to try him,Margarita
You must provide a cradle, and what a troubles that?Leon
The sea shall rock it,Margarita
Faith let me stay, I shall but shame ye Sir.Leon
And you were a thousand shames you shall along with me,Enter Duke, Alonzo, Sanchio.
Duke of Medina
What Sir, preparing for your noble journey?Leon
No Sir, I dare not leave her to that solitariness,Duke of Medina
By no means Captain.Leon
By all means an't please ye.Duke of Medina
What take a young and tender bodied Lady,Leon
'Twill make her well Sir,Sanchio
Away it must not be.Alonzo
It ought not Sir,Duke of Medina
I cannot blame her tears, fright her with tempests,Leon
She is most able.Enter Perez.
What Masque is this now?Juan de Castro
Michael van owle, how dost thou?Michael Perez
Things must both ebbe and flow, Coronel,Alonzo
He's certain mad.Juan de Castro
As mad as a French Tayler,Michael Perez
I see you are packing now my gentle cousin,Leon
What house, what pleasure Sir, what do you mean?Michael Perez
You hold the jest so stiff, 'twill prove discourteous,Leon
And what of them?Michael Perez
They are mine Sir, and you know it,Leon
Prethee good stubborn wife, tell me directly,Margarita
I can tell ye nothing.Leon
I have many kinsmen, but so mad a one,Michael Perez
All mine,Leon
Canst thou fight?Michael Perez
I'le tell ye presently, I could have done Sir.Leon
For ye must law and claw before ye get it.Juan de Castro
Away, no quarrels.Leon
Now I am more temperate,Michael Perez
H'as half perswaded me I was bred i'th' moon,Leon
I'le talk no more, come we'l away immediatly.Margarita
Why then the house is his, and all that's in it,Michael Perez
Am I mad now or am I christen'd, you my pagan cousin,Duke of Medina
Are ye blank at this? then I must tell ye Sir,Leon
All this not moves me,Margarita
Now thou art a brave Gentleman,Leon
Good morrow my sweet cousin, I should be glad Sir.Michael Perez
By this hand she dies for't,[Exit Perez.
Juan de Castro
These are fine toyes.Margarita
Let me request you stay but one poor month,Leon
Well I will try ye,Duke of Medina
If I miss thee again, I am an arrant bungler.Juan de Castro
Thou shalt have my command, and I'le march under thee,Alonzo
I have seen visions.[Exeunt.
Enter Leon, with a letter, and Margarita.
Leon
Come hither wife, do you know this hand?Margarita
I do Sir,Leon
She writes to me here, that one CacafogoMargarita
Is a monster, deliver me from mountains.Leon
Do you goe a birding for all sorts of people?Margarita
I shall not fail, Sir.Leon
Will the Duke come again do you think?Margarita
No sure Sir,Leon
Nor bring you to him, if my wit hold fair wife:[Exeunt.
Enter Perez.
Michael Perez
Had I but lungs enough to bawl sufficiently,Enter Cacafogo, with a Casket.
Cacafogo
Be cozen'd by a thing of clouts, a she moth,Michael Perez
Who's that is cheated, speak again thou vision,Cacafogo
Then keep thy circle,Michael Perez
Ha, ha, ha.Cacafogo
Dost thou laugh? damnably, I say most damnably.Michael Perez
By whom, good spirit speak, speak ha, ha, ha.Cacafogo
I will utter, laugh till thy lungs crack, by a rascal woman,Michael Perez
I must laugh, prethee pardon me,Cacafogo
I shall be angry, terrible angry, I have cause.Michael Perez
That's it, and 'tis no reason but thou shouldst be angry,Cacafogo
I shall break thy head, my valour itches at thee.Michael Perez
It is no matter, by a woman cozen'd,Cacafogo
A real Devil,Michael Perez
Sweet cozen'd Sir let me see them,Cacafogo
Pray ye take it,Michael Perez
Ha, ha, ha.Cacafogo
Thou art deceiv'd, I will take.Michael Perez
To clear your bargain now.Cacafogo
I'le take some ten, some any thing, some half ten,Michael Perez
An excellent lapidary set these stones sure,Cacafogo
Quick-sand choak their waters,Michael Perez
And so shall I, I hope, but do not hurt her,[Exit.
Cacafogo
If I were valiant now, I would kill this fellow,[Exit.
Enter Leon, and Margarita.
Leon
Come, we'l away unto your country house,Margarita
Whither you will, I wait upon your pleasure;Leon
I, now you strike a harmony, a true one,[Clashing swords. A cry within, down with their swords.]
Margarita
'Tis loud too.Leon
Look out and help.Enter a Servant.
Servant
Oh Sir the Duke Medina.Leon
What of the Duke Medina?Servant
Oh sweet Gentleman, is almost slain.Margarita
Away away and help him, all the house help.[Exit Servant.
Leon
How slain? why Margarita,Enter Duke, Margarita, Sanchio, Alonzo, Servant.
Margarita
How came ye hurt Sir?Duke of Medina
I fell out with my friend the noble Coronel,Leon
Help Gentlemen to carry him,Duke of Medina
I thank ye noble Sir.Leon
To bed with him, and wife give your attendance.Enter Juan.
Juan de Castro
Doctors and Surgions.Duke of Medina
Do not disquiet me,[Ex. Duke, Sanchio, Alon. Marg. Servant.
Leon
Afore meJuan de Castro
True, it is so Sir,Leon
I thank ye noble Coronel, and I honour ye.[Exit Juan.
Enter Margarita.
Margarita
He's most desperate ill Sir,Leon
Does he hire my house to play the fool in,Margarita
What ail you Sir?Leon
Nay what ail you sweet wife,Margarita
You have done handsomely I must confess Sir.Leon
Have I not kept thee waking like a hawk?Margarita
Alas I pity ye.Leon
Thou wilt make me angry,Margarita
You are alwaies,Leon
If thou pursuest me further I run stark mad,Margarita
I have lost my self Sir,[kneels.
Enter Altea.
Leon
I take ye up, and wear ye next my heart,Altea
I come to tell my Lady,Leon
'Tis Cacafogo, goe and entertain him,Margarita
I shall observe ye.Leon
I have a rare design upon that Gentleman,Altea
I shall Sir most willingly.Leon
Away then both, and keep him close in some place[Exeunt.
Enter Perez, and Estifania, with a Pistol, and a Dagge[r].
Michael Perez
Why how darst thou meet me again thou rebel,Estifania
I know you have mercy.Michael Perez
If I had tuns of mercy thou deserv'st none,Estifania
Little or nothing,Michael Perez
Do, a very little,Estifania
Now now Sir, now,[shews a Pistol.
Michael Perez
Do you wear guns?Estifania
I am a Souldiers wife Sir,Michael Perez
Let me see,Estifania
No no Sir, you shall feel.Michael Perez
Hold ye villain, what thine own Husband?Estifania
Let mine own Husband thenEstifania
When will you redeem your Jewels, I have pawn'd 'em,Michael Perez
I'le kiss thee,Estifania
Come along with me,Michael Perez
I see I am an asse when thou art near me.Enter Leon, Margarita, and Altea, with a Taper.
Leon
Is the fool come?Altea
Yes and i'th' celler fast,Leon
It is the better.Altea
Has given me royally,Leon
Better and better still, go Margarita,Margarita
Secure your self Sir, give me the candle,[Ex. Leon and Altea. She knocks.
Duke of Medina
Who's there, oh oh.Margarita
My Lord,Duke of Medina within
Have ye brought me comfort?Margarita
I have my Lord.Enter Duke, in a gown.
Come softly too, how do you?Duke of Medina
Are there none here?[noise below.
Margarita
Alone to comfort you.[Cacafogo makes a noise below.
Duke of Medina
What's that you tumble?Margarita
The fat thing's mad i'th' celler,Duke of Medina
I have none Lady,[noise below.
Margarita
What noise, why look ye pale? I hear no stirring,Duke of Medina
I have none, I am as lusty and as full of health,Margarita
Weak in your blood you would say,Duke of Medina
Believe me Lady.Margarita
I know you will venture all you have to satisfy me,Cacafogo below
Here's to the Duke.Duke of Medina
It nam'd me certainly,Margarita
You are hurt mortally,Cacafogo below
I come, I come.Duke of Medina
Heaven bless me.Margarita
And bless us both, for sure this is the Devil,Margarita
And that's the least leap if you mean to scape Sir,Duke of Medina
Are you honest then?Margarita
Yes then and now, and ever, and excellent honest,Duke of Medina
Would I were off fair,Margarita
If you be well and lusty, fy fy shake not,Duke of Medina
She mocks my misery, thou cruel Lady.Margarita
Thou cruel Lord, wouldst thou betray my honesty,Duke of Medina
I am most miserable.Margarita
You are indeed,Duke of Medina
Let me be gone, I'le never more attempt ye.Margarita
You cannot goe, 'tis not in me to save ye,[Noise below.
Duke of Medina
The noise again!Cacafogo below
Some small beer if you love me.Margarita
The Devil haunts you sure, your sins are mighty.Duke of Medina
Preserve me but this once.Duke of Medina
I would not dye so wretchedly.Margarita
Out of a garret window I'le let you down then,Duke of Medina
Have you no mercy?Margarita
Now you are frighted throughly,Duke of Medina
And I'le be your true servant,Margarita
I may kiss a stranger, for you must now be so.Enter Leon, Juan, Alonzo, Sanchio.
Leon
How do you my Lord,Juan de Castro
No more feign'd fights my Lord, they never prosper.Leon
Who's this? the Devil in the vault?Altea
'Tis he Sir, and as lovingly drunk, as though he had studied it.Cacafogo
Give me a cup of Sack, and kiss me Lady,Leon
He is Devilish drunk.Duke of Medina
I had thought he had been a Devil.Leon
Oh a true lover Sir will lament loudly,Cacafogo
Butt in thy belly.Leon
There's two in thine I am sure, 'tis grown so monstrous.Cacafogo
Butt in thy face.Leon
Go carry him to sleep,[Exit Caca. and Servant.
Enter Perez, and Estifania.
Leon
Who's this? my Mauhound cousin?Michael Perez
Good Sir, 'tis very good, would I had a house too,Leon
I must laugh a little,Michael Perez
I'le cry, and then I'le be thankfull,Estifania
If I prove otherwaies, let me beg first,Duke of Medina
And this is yours, your true commission, Sir,Leon
You are a noble Prince Sir,Juan de Castro
Sir, I shall wait upon you through all fortunes.Alonzo
And I.Altea
And I must needs attend my Mistris.Leon
Will you goe Sister?Altea
Yes indeed good Brother,Margarita
Is she your Sister?Leon
Yes indeed good wife,Altea
I would not deal so truly for a stranger.Margarita
Well I could chide ye,Juan de Castro
Your colours you must wear, and wear 'em proudly,The Dramatis Personae are not given in the quarto of 1640 nor in the 2nd folio. They are as follows:--Duke of Medina. Juan de Castro, Sanchio, Alonzo, Michael Perez, Officers. Leon, Altea's brother. Cacafogo, a usurer. Lorenzo. Coachman, etc. Margarita. Altea. Estifania. Clara. Three old ladies. Old woman. Maids, etc.
Unless where otherwise stated the following variations are from the quarto of 1640, the title-page of which runs thus:--
Rule a Wife | And have a Wife. | A Comoedy. | Acted by his | Majesties Servants. | Written by | John Fletcher | Gent. | Oxford, | Printed by Leonard Lichfield | Printer to the University. | Anno 1640.
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